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awrkive · 6 months ago

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NEIGHBOR BLUNDER, pt. 1 — JJK

in hindsight, you should have seen it coming. had always known your luck – or lack of it, thereof – and the universe's meticulous plan of your downfall made it easy for you to get tangled up in a series of unfortunate events, which presents itself as the neighbor that lives across from you, jeon jungkook.

PAIRING jungkook x (fem) reader

GENRE r18+ (fluff, angst, (eventual) smut) MINORS DO NOT INTERACT!

CHAPTER WORD COUNT 18.2k

CHAPTER WARNINGS/MISC neighbor!jk, bsf!jimin, accountant!oc software engineer!jk, jk and jimin are chaebols lol, minjoon boyfriends <<<<3 mature language, this chapter's pretty tame (for now) but theres a lot of FLIRTING, if u squint this story is a mosaic of every shows i love lmfao, for the apartment complex just imagine the namil villa from the kdrama fight for my way NB!JK VISUALS

NOTES hello im back!!!!! remember the jk in tech xmas fic i told you about last year? this is it except its not a xmas fic anymore lmfao. had an idea to make it a full blown story and im just sooo excited to share it with u guys on this platform!!!!! if ur from wattpad, the chapter system is gonna be a little different here but the content is not <3 anyway let me know what u guys think!

READ ON WATTPAD | AO3

PART ONE | TWO

You never settled your relationship with the summer season. To put it simply, it was a love and hate sort of thing; you liked that it was dry, and the air always felt like it was filtered and healthy even though you were well-aware of the current shit-state of the Earth's ozone layer. There were beams and sunlights and street vendors and people lying on the park's ground. Summer felt nostalgic, like the first time you bought a vinyl in highschool and listened to Fleetwood Mac in secret because your mom was certain they peddled cocaine and all sorts of illegal drugs, and with a highschool friend you no longer talk to, not because of a friendship-breaking betrayal but something more melancholic than that like drifting apart as you got older — the ambience, generally, was what you loved the most about it.

But regardless of those, summer got hot. Sure, you could forgo layers of clothing and it was always nice to lounge about in short bottoms and strapless tops and sandals, but at the end of the day, you needed to set your AC on the lowest temp, and it cranks up your monthly rent a greater percentage which causes a detrimental result to your monthly pay. (And you always had to reapply make-up every now and then whenever you went outside because if not, you'd be a sweating mess.)

In the grand scheme of things, though, there was nothing more than you disliked than Park Jimin, your best friend since college, asking you to be his plus-one on his mom's birthday dinner. For the second time.

“I told you, Jimin, I’m not doing that anymore. Your mom called me fat and recommended a bunch of expensive skin care products to treat one single zit on the side of my forehead the last time you brought me there. I hid that with my bangs and she still saw it, like what the hell? The baked lasagna might have tasted good but I’m not stepping one foot in your house ever again.” You spat out, rolling your eyes at your friend who just dramatically flopped himself on your bed.

“Okay, so I’m really sorry about my mom. She’s a…” He trailed off, looking at you with meaningful eyes that weighed words you knew he couldn't exactly say without feeling bad, and you sighed. Nodded in understanding. Jimin’s face contorted into a cringed expression at that. “... yeah. But! Please. I swear! This is the last time. I just really need you to be there. They’re setting me up with Heesu, okay? You know that snotty nepo baby of the Kang clan who owns Kang Tech?”

“Jimin, you’re a nepo baby.”

He hit you with a pillow. “I am but I can earn a hundred thousand won without my family’s money. They can cut my credit cards and I'll still be thriving.”

You broke the serious demeanor and laughed loudly at his seemingly confident claim.

“I’m sorry but you could not even get a job at a burger joint without some nepotism let alone have a hundred thousand without your dad’s credit cards. Bitch, you’re just lying.”

“Fuck you. I was employee of the week at Seventh Street Burger.” He backfired, referring to that point in time in your sophomore year where you picked up a part time job during the summer at a burger joint and Jimin just decided to come along randomly. He got it because the owner knew of his dad.

“Yeah, because Sowon had a crush on you?” You said, remembering the owner’s daughter, who was also helping out at the store at that time. She was so smitten by Jimin you almost felt bad for her.

“Okay, fair, point taken. No need to be such a bitch about it,” Your best friend said with a dismissive wave of his hand, telling he was over it. You only laughed at that, boisterously, might you add, just to piss him off for no reason. Jimin deadpanned. “But seriously. I think they’re planning to marry me off to Heesu.”

Your face fell out of genuine concern this time.

“Oh my god, really?”

Jimin once again cringed visibly. “Yeah. I mean from a business lense it makes sense. But me marrying at 33? That makes me – like – a child groom.”

“Oh… yeah…” you trailed off, sympathizing with him. Not that you've ever been in the situation where your parents forced you in a sham marriage for their own wealth because there was no wealth to begin with. But you felt bad for Jimin. You always have, when it came to this particular subject.

You knew how it was with rich people, having known Jimin for almost half your life. It was true that arranged marriages were still a thing, and while Jimin seemed that he could pretty much do everything he wanted because of his free-spirited nature, his parents could still most likely make him marry someone he barely knew. Solely for business.

“Ugh.” Jimin groaned. “Should I just come out at the dinner so they can stop linking me to women? I’m gay as fuck, man. My cousin Park Youngdam would have a field day given that homophobic fucktard has been calling me the f word ever since he learned it in seventh grade.”

You shook your head, visibly cringing at his words. You didn't have family yourself. It was your mom who raised you alone for all your life, until she died five years ago. Didn't know any extended family. But frankly, you thought it was better that way than to deal with a complicated family like Jimin's.

“Nah. I mean if you’re ready, well, do it. But like, your parents are…” You two shared a look together again, and Jimin just slapped his palms over his face, indicating his doom. Your face twisted with another shot of deeper sympathy for him.

“This is it for me. They’ll marry me off to Kang Heesu and we’ll fly to the US and live in Massachusetts to fulfill her white picket fence fantasy. I’ll be a miserable husband and she'll be an even more miserable wife because she’ll eventually find out I’m gay. The neighbors will start talking and the white republicans will shun me out of the town church. We’ll have a surrogate baby and—”

“Jimin, what the fuck!” You hit him hard on his arm as you couldn't keep a straight face anymore at his dramatic monologue. “You’re not gonna marry Heesu and you won't live in fuckass Massachusetts and no one’s gonna shun you out of the town church and you won't have a surrogate baby.”

“It’s a possibility.” Jimin shrugged.

“I feel like you're guilt-tripping me into agreeing to be your date again at your mom's birthday dinner and I think that's very evil of you.” You said, squinting your eyes at him.

“Well, duh? But also, I’m really kind of lowkey highkey scared they’ll marry me off to someone now that I’m pushing forty.”

"You're quite literally seven years away from forty." You countered.

He looked at you with an expression of I know right! And he told you so.

"That's what I said to mom and dad, but they're acting like my sperm will freeze next year. God, I can't stand them!"

Jimin, for all his jokes and unserious and bitchy behavior, was someone extremely important to you. Yeah, sure, he was rich as hell and he annoys you when he says something that reeks of too much nepotism but he was never intentionally snotty, never thinks he was better than everyone else (Jokes about how he thinks he has the fattest and juiciest ass in the world, though), and he wasn't at all like the rich people you've had the misfortune of interacting with at his mom's birthday party last year. He might be a self-proclaimed bitch but if you put him together with those people, he might as well be one of God's disciples.

For all his crass language and rather strong personality, Jimin was a doting friend who was there for you every single time. You could call him up at 3 am and he’d be at your door bringing Chinese take out and two tubs of ice cream, ready to hear you vent about your stupid job or a guy that you fumbled by being weird and off-putting because you didn't know how to handle a relationship. He was the kind of friend who would defend you in front of anyone else but will mercilessly tell you off and list down all points of your stupidity once you were in closed doors. He was the kind of friend that would ask you to be his pretend partner at a birthday dinner party, but he was your best friend ultimately and even if you had a big problem with his family and their extremely traditional (read: toxic) ways, you didn't want him to be pressured into coming out just so he could avoid to be engaged off to another random heiress. Didn't want him to do something he wasn't ready for. Didn't want him hurt or anything of the sort.

The last dinner wasn't even that bad, if you were to be honest. His parents were shitty, yeah sure, and the other guys in there that consisted of politicians and businessmen and people in the showbiz industry were something taken out of the toilet bowl for how stinky their elitist, better-than-you personalities were, but you both just totally forgot all about it by getting wasted at the local bar right after leaving. Not that his mom’s words didn't sting a bit or didn't make you a little conscious, but at the end of the day, you weren't actually dating Jimin so you didn't care what his parents thought of you.

Additionally, you didn't have something planned for the next two weeks when the birthday would be happening. You were supposed to, but that ship has long sailed when you fumbled a date with the guy at the IT department. For the record, you didn't really like him that much and he talked too much about his job and while you didn't mind that, it was getting a little too tiring. If you wanted IT lessons you would’ve majored in it in college. Still, Shin Taemu was handsome. And he wore those rounded glasses. Was tall. Had nice arms. Too bad he wanted to be the next Mark Zuckerberg. Fuck that guy.

“Ugh, I don't know,” you groaned. “It's just so disgusting to be your girlfriend, okay?”

Jimin audibly gasped. “How dare you? A lot would jump on this ass.” He said with incredulity seeping through his voice, pointing to his bum.

You rolled your eyes. “Not me, obviously. Before you take offense—”

“Offense taken.”

“—it’s just that you're like my cousin and when you call me honey I want to crawl out of my own skin.”

Jimin laughed at that while you looked miserable, remembering those moments from last year. Seriously, how could you have fooled anyone in that party that you were banging? You swore you looked like Ariana Grande and Troye Sivan in that one music video? (Jimin was the one who showed that meme to you, by the way.)

“So I won't call you honey. Just babe.”

“Ew.” You quickly retaliated.

“Ohh, the homophobia is sho-wing.” Jimin sing-sang, ever the mature individual he was.

“Fuck off, seriously.”

Jimin just giggled and then scooted closer to you. “No but like, are you coming? ‘Cause jokes aside, I'm just gonna find someone else if you really don't wanna do it. But you know you're always my first choice.”

“First choice when you do some stupid shit.” you countered, rolling your eyes for the nth time that night. Jimin would be the cause of your eye surgery if ever they got dislocated or something.

“That’s my biggest act of love.”

“I don't want it.”

“I’ll double what I paid you last year.”

“Double it again and give it to the next person?”

Jimin flipped you off. “I’ll give you my nintendo and I’ll get you a card at that coffee shop you love so much.”

That caught your attention. You raised your brow. “On god?”

“When did I ever lie to you?”

You deadpanned. “We won't finish this conversation if I list all the times—”

“Okay, okay, point taken. But I'm really serious. Please, please, please, please be my pretend girlfriend on my mom's birthday party please, please—”

“Shut up. Ugh,” you could already feel the big smile creeping up Jimin’s face when you let out a big sigh. “Okay, I’ll do it. Buy me boba now.”

Jimin tackled you to the bed and hugged you and kissed your forehead.

“Thank you! Best best friend ever.” he delightfully said, grinning widely, eyes almost disappearing in his triumph.

Your face contorted into a disgusted expression while Jimin just laughed as you pushed him so hard he almost fell off the bed.

“You are a disgusting limpy sack of dicks! Also, I’m not your best best friend, you don't have a wide selection. I'm your best friend. Period.”

“Unfortunately.” He waved you off and when you were about to retort something his phone suddenly rang. You watched quietly as he put it over his ear. “Hey, you just landed?”

If it was a private conversation Jimin would've left the room but since he didn't, you decided to stay in bed, kind of listening in to the conversation, but also not, as you turned the volume down of the show you were watching earlier on your laptop.

“Nah, you want me to pick you up?” Jimin sat up on the edge of the bed and you looked at him curiously. “Sure, I’m free, Kook. You have a place to stay? Hotel suite or something?” He nodded to whatever the other person was saying on the other line. “Oh, you're here for three months? Thought you were just flying in for mom's birthday?”

It was moments after they said goodbye that Jimin turned to you to ask, “Well, my cousin’s apparently staying here for three months. Got this job thing going on.”

“Is that one of the non-problematic twenty percent cousin lineage of your very complicated family tree?" You asked, referring to him telling you one time that his family, including the extended ones, was eighty percent shitty and twenty percent decent.

Jimin chuckled at the inside joke. "Well, yeah, he's one of the good ones. Knows I'm gay."

"Oh, nice."

Jimin stood up from your bed. “I’ll get you your boba and head off. Gotta pick cousin up or he’ll start throwing tantrums at the airport.”

“Add extra pearls please.” You told him, watching as he clicked away on his phone to get you your drink.

“I spoil you too much.” Jimin said, clicking his tongue, eyes still on his phone.

“What are you here for if not my glorified sugar daddy?”

“I will kill myself in front of you.” Jimin deadpanned, getting a chuckle out of you.

You didn't know the psychology — or if there even was psychology — behind feeling embarrassed when you were about to cross a path while carrying huge boxes. It was a normal task, and yet, it always felt like a huge walk of shame when you did it.

It was probably because you had to carry it over a flight of stairs, and there was no way you wouldn't trip on yourself carrying two heavy boxes in your hands that were already disrupting your vision.

Maybe it was your fault for choosing the pick-up option when you were checking out these furniture online, all because there was a huge increase on the fee for door-to-door delivery. For the record, there was a huge gap and the boxes were not really that heavy to the point you could not carry them both. It's just a lamp and a portable desk, you thought a week ago when you opted for the pick-up option, I could carry it all the way to the unit just fine — and obviously, your delusion has resulted to this very moment.

As soon as you managed to walk over five steps, you felt as if your oxygen supply just got cut back, panting like someone fresh from a marathon. Damn. You definitely needed to work out a little. Maybe do some squats for your New Year’s resolution, commit to it for three days straight then forget about it for the next 362 days of the year.

You looked ahead of you and a string of curses let themselves out of your mouth automatically as you estimated the number of stairs you needed to get through to get to your apartment.

This day sucked! It was Sunday and you planned to wake up at five am to have a productive day but then you slept through your five alarms and woke up at eleven am instead. You ran out of eggs and you had to go to the convenience store to eat a sad meal of yogurt and kimbap. And now there were these boxes that you needed to carry over what seemed to look like six million of stairs. You weren't Sisyphus! And where were your goddamn neighbors when you needed them?

"You need help, ma'am?"

"Jesus Christ—" you turned to look to your right only to see a man who seemed to own the previous voice.

And Jesus Christ, indeed.

He was wearing a white shirt and some shorts, Nike sliders on his feet and a pair of headphones on. He was wearing glasses. And he had a tattoo sleeve.

What the fuck.

What the fuck!

It has been so long since you thought a man was crazily attractive. Okay, well sure, the guys from the IT department were something else (or you just had a weird eyeglasses fetish, Jimin once pointed out, that you still — to this day — vehemently try to deny) but you’ve never been this taken aback by someone’s face before.

The guy’s lips tilted a bit, some sort of greeting maybe, and you quickly looked away, embarrassed, fearing that he caught you looking at him longer than necessary.

Oh god. This was pathetic! He was a stranger! He was a man! He just had a cute face attached to a very good body with an arm full of tattoos and he was tall but you were sure he wasn’t six feet two. Also, he had hair that looked fluffy from where you stood and a pair of eyeglasses but Jimin was just bluffing when he said you had a fetish for them. Right?

You were performing mental gymnastics until you realized he was asking a question.

"Oh! Uh, no, thank you. It's fine." You said, embarrassed at the way you almost jumped in surprise earlier.

But the whole thing was ridiculous. What, because there was a very fine man across from you the universe suddenly decided to fuck up your fate by making you be seen by that very man struggling with boxes all the way up to your unit? Couldn't it just have been on a day when you did your make-up and dressed up in that overpriced dress you bought hundred bad choices ago?

You fumbled with the boxes a little bit before continuing your way up, nevermind the guy whose response you didn't wait for because you needed to get the fuck away from him before you say something weird and off-putting.

Truthfully, you could use the help. But at what cost? A fine man carrying them? Okay, that wasn’t so bad. But what were you supposed to do with... all of that?

As if the universe was indeed trying to prove to you that you were, in fact, not its favorite creation, you almost tripped. And the guy most definitely saw it.

Fuck.

You turned to the side to see him looking at you, concern etching his face. You wanted to convince yourself that it was genuine concern because you'd commit something that would totally change the trajectory of his life if he was to laugh.

But you thought his own unit must be way up as well, as he was going to the same path as you, and if that was the case, he must have been a new neighbor in the complex because you've never seen the man before.

“Well, it’s not that heavy but…” you trailed off, looking blankly at the cardboard boxes. And then at him. "I could use some help, if you don't mind."

The guy just chuckled. Oh wow, his laugh was very... low.

You didn’t even know what the fuck that meant.

“I’ll get them for you.” He said, crossing the small distance between you and taking over the pile, leaving you with nothing in your hands.

“Oh, no, I’ll have that one. It’s fine.” You said, stepping closer to take the other one but he was already securing it in his hold, with stability this time, ready to take off.

He let out a small laugh again and you bit your tongue to not think about how cute he looked. If he was a new tenant, you hoped you didn't cross paths with him ever again.

"It's okay, ma'am."

He's got to stop calling you that before you do something drastic.

“It’s quite far from here, I'm all the way up to three-three-six.” You uttered, pointing forward, a few steps behind the guy, who hummed at what you said.

You quickly caught up to him. "Really, thanks for doing this."

"No problem, it's nothing." He said, smiling at you. Warm and kind. All cute. "I'm all the way up to four-four-six as well."

Your eyes widened. "No way, that's just across mine."

The stranger, apparently your neighbor now, grinned.

"Nice coincidence, huh?"

A sheepish smile formed on your lips. You didn't dwell on that comment too much. Knew it was just small talk.

"If you don't mind me asking, are you a new tenant here?” You asked out of genuine curiosity. You had never seen someone come out of the unit across from you out of all the four years you'd been here.

He nodded, agreeing with what you presumed.

"Yeah. Just temporary, though.”

“Oh…” A surprised sound. Maybe it was a good thing he was only staying temporarily... “I hope I didn’t inconvenience you or anything. You really don’t need to bring the boxes over to my apartment.”

The man just chuckled, dismissing your worry. “You looked like you could use a hand, these boxes are big. Anyway, I was just out checking 'round town. Settling in.”

From the sound of it, you'd assume he was not only moving in in a new apartment complex, but new city as well. Perhaps country? But he most definitely looked Korean. But maybe he came from abroad. Who knows.

“Yeah, there's a really nice coffee shop three blocks away. You should check it out sometime. Ji—my friend and I are obsessed with their iced caramel macchiato. And the boba.”

His brows furrowed in pure interest. “That must've been the one I passed by this morning. I’ll make sure to try that one.”

“You really should. And the barista gives you a brownie on Sundays if he likes you.” You shared like it was gossip, mentally taking note to visit the cafe sometime this week.

“And I'm sure not everybody gets the privilege?” The guy looked at you funny, and that made you laugh.

"Of course, yes! You have to earn it, I think. I feel like I spent over a million there before he started giving me brownies."

"Hope my charm works on him as well," he said, and it caught you off guard.

What did he mean, "as well"? Like he was speaking from the basis that you had charm and so he hoped he had it as well to get the barista to like him?

"Well. He's strict." Was all you could say, before you spotted your apartment. "Hey, I'll take it over from here."

The guy looked over the plated number on the door, reading three-three-six just as you said earlier. Trudging forward, he set the boxes down on the side of the porch.

"Thank you, really. This was really nice of you."

You extended your gratitude once again as if you didn't spend the walk up to here thanking him non-stop, sounding like a broken record. Thank god the guy didn't seem to mind your over-the-top gratitude, only waving his hand.

"Told you, it's fine. You need help with a few boxes again and just ring me up across," He joked, turning around slightly and looking at the door across your unit, Unit 446. It earned a chuckle from you. His face turned serious now, but there was still a charming smile on his face. “Hey. I’m actually pretty new in this town. I was thinking about visiting a few restaurants downtown, maybe you could recommend me some?”

You didn't mean to, but you took note the way his doe eyes seemed to shimmer even behind the frame of his glasses.

“My favorites are just, like, a ten-minute walk away. There’s this restobar near that drugstore when you turn left from this building, right?” The guy nodded, and you were slightly delighted he knew right away. “Yeah, their ramen's great, you'd thank me forever.”

He chuckled at the way you said it and you smiled.

Your interactions with new people were always a range from pure silence to oversharing; talking to them like they were your long lost friend whom you’ve milked goats with in your father’s orchard. It was probably just a product of introversion; not knowing the right approach to socializing.

“Thanks for the recommendation.” He said, a genuine appreciative tone lacing his words.

“You’re welcome. If I can ring you up to help me with some boxes, you can ring me up for some restaurant recommendation.”

"It's an exchange, then. Deal."

"Why not?" You shrugged, laughing along with him when he did so.

You both stood there for a while until seconds passed. You didn’t know exactly how to end the conversation, not that you wanted to, but there was nothing that went to your head to talk about more. And besides, he was probably headed somewhere, so you began to speak.

“Hey, so I’m going in—”

“What about we—”

“Oh.” You stopped. “Sorry, what was that?”

The guy just shook his head. “Nah, you’re probably busy. Thanks for the recommendation again.”

“No, seriously, sorry I didn't hear it the first time...”

“I was just gonna ask about the name of the restaurant.”

“It’s Midday Miso.” You told him, smiling.

“Midday Miso,” The guy nodded, “Yeah. Got it. Thanks again.”

“You’re welcome, and, uh, thanks. For the help.”

You took your keys out from your shorts and you didn’t expect to still see him standing in front of you when you turned around. You jokingly squinted your eyes at him.

“Yeah, you first, get in.” He said with a low chuckle.

It was a little embarrassing and pretty stupid how your heart fluttered a bit at that.

“What a gentleman you are,” You respond with a snort, opening the door to your unit and pushing the boxes inside your apartment. When they were in, you turned to look at the guy again, saying, “Okay, bye for real. See you around. Hope you like Midday Miso if you try it. And the coffee shop. It's called Brown Coffee.”

“See you around.” He did a little wave that made you both laugh before you closed the door.

When the lock system clicked, you stood on your doorway for a little while.

And then fake-cried.

You quickly clicked on Jimin's pinned contact on your phone.

You [5:35pm]: JIMINNNNNNNNN You [5:35pm]: POP EMERGENCY You [5:35pm]: POP EMERGENCY BITCH IF U DONT RESPOND You [5:36pm]: I HAVE A DIABOLICAL CRUSH AND ITS GOING IN THE MEMOIRRRRRR

It wasn’t even one full minute when Jimin replied.

cuntress #1 [5:37pm]: oh my god SHUT UP!!! im at a training program for ghis stupid ass company my fathers been running fir 600 years cuntress #1 [5:37pm]: whats up cuntress #1 [5:38pm]: its always a crush and never a job 😒

You [5:39pm]: yeh so remember when i told u im oacking up my vagina last summer

cuntress #1 [5:39pm]: many such times

You [5:40pm]: 🖕 You [5:40pm]: SO raincheck!!! You [5:41pm]: COZ I just met a fine man at my apartment AND flirted with him You [5:41pm]: i think

cuntress #1 [5:42pm]: ohhhhh OK???? cuntress #1 [5:43pm]: cuntress #2 flirting???? now thats not uninteresting go on while i fake a restroom break 👀

You [5:45pm]: this story is not for the imessages baby get ur ass up and ICE CREAM WITH ME NOW.

cuntress #1 [5:46pm]: omg 😭😭😭😭 cuntress #1 [5:46pm]: i’ll be off 7:30pm wait for me 😭😭😭 cuntress #1 [5:47pm]: i also have #stories to tell

You [5:49pm]: 🤭

There must be a time where you finally grow up and learn to cook.

You were a twenty-eight-year-old woman and yet, your meals sadly ranged from instant noodles, canned goods, and food from the nearby twenty-four-hour provision shop. Sometimes, you had the gall to cook something from scratch—but with scratch you meant scratching off the labels from food take-outs and reheating them in your microwave.

Jimin had told you one time you would die at twenty-nine with your lifestyle. You told him he couldn't tell you shit because he didn't know how to cook either, he just worked out and ate healthy stuff, and you did, too! But Jimin knew you, and in an evil manner, clocked you with, "Buying fresh produce and not consuming them does not count as healthy living."

Anyway, you never understood why you were so bad at cooking. Your mother, as you remembered her, was decent at it but you guessed it was because she never really taught you and you never really bothered, either. In some immature way of thinking, you'd like to think it was a win for feminism as you were battling patriarchal standards by not conforming to stereotypical "female" qualities. But deep inside, you knew cooking should be a survival skill.

Well, maybe Jimin was right and you would indeed die at the ripe age of twenty-nine. On the bright side, at least you wouldn't have to pay off your student loans and your monthly rent.

In relation, not knowing how to cook meant impractical visits to the restaurant, and that was how you ended up at Midday Miso for dinner after your shift.

It was only a little over seven pm when you entered the restaurant, the ahjumma quickly greeting you and preparing your usual, a sign of familiarity that implied your countless visits ever since moving in at your current apartment building.

Regular visits meant usual sitting spot, and in your case, it was the high stools that faced the glass walls of the restaurant's facade where you could see the busy street making that little area of the town alive.

As minutes overlapped with one another, your food was served and you were hit with the waft of the restaurant's delightful signature beef ramen and bibimbap that the ahjumma made sure to add extra beef on.

Eating with a happy heart made you feel like nothing in the world mattered but you and the food before you, so, you didn't pay attention to the person who was coming to your direction and eventually sat beside you, but what caught you off guard was when said person suddenly said,

"Hi."

When you turned to the side to see who it was, your eyes widened as you said in both recognition and surprise, "Unit 446?"

"That's me." He, Unit 446—in the flesh—said with a low chuckle, twisting himself so that he was sat appropriately on the high stool. Still, his body leaned towards you when he continued to say, "Fancy seeing you here."

You grinned, flattered at the casualness of his approach.

"Same to you. I wonder who told you about this local gem."

He pursed his lips. "A nice neighbor across my place... whom I still don't know the name of."

"Oh, shoot!" You'd face-palm right now if he wasn't looking, but truthfully, you didn't even think about that! You've just been referring to him as the Staircase Guy slash Neighbor 446 in your head and when you told Jimin about him. You laughed at the thought. "That neighbor of yours is __."

Neighbor 446 nodded and extended his hand to you

"I'm Jungkook."

It was a little silly but you shook hands, anyway, and knowing it was, indeed, silly, you both laughed together at your joint connection.

Jungkook. Huh. Not exactly a common Korean name, but it wasn't rare either. The name does ring a bell though, felt like you've heard it somewhere before.

You brushed off the familiarity as inconsequential.

Unlike the completely casual attire he adorned the first time that you met him, he was now in some sleek slacks and a white polo which sleeves were ridden up half high, which exposed the vines of ink on his right arm once again. There's a coat that hung around the back of his chair, and he had forgone the glasses this time around, which was a bit of a shame on the part of your brain that might have a silly crush on him.

Jungkook's clothes seemed to mirror your own business casual ensemble, and that made you think about what he possibly did for a living. Maybe he worked a corporate job just like you, and the prospect might have made you down a little—only because as far as you were concerned, corporate people weren't the most pleasant people you could encounter—but it was not something you dwelled on too much because you couldn't care less. If Jungkook was corporate, he sure didn't seem to be one the way he was.

Besides, you wouldn't be the one to bring up the depressing and aggravating conversation about gross grown-up things like... jobs... Eurgh. You both could just talk about the weather or how insane the ahjumma's ramen tasted for eternity.

"Well, hello, Jungkook." You greeted him. All warm and soft, testing the syllables of his name on your tongue. Rolled off well enough. He had a nice name that sure fit his face for some reason.

"Hi, __." He mirrored the soft smile on your lips, and just as he said it, the ahjumma was heading towards your direction to give him his order.

In that usual way grandmas reacted, the ahjumma gasped audibly—and dramatically, might you add—upon seeing Jungkook, but what she said next made you want to dig a hole under your seat.

"__-dear! Is this young man your boyfriend?"

Good thing you weren't consuming anything as of that moment, because it would've entered the wrong track.

"Ahjumma!" You laughed, totally not authentic at all because your face didn't match it, looking at Jungkook who just sent a shy smile her way.

Ahjumma must have seen you both talking to each other and had completely jumped to a conclusion. An insane one at that!

Shaking your head, you clarified, "This is Jungkook. A friend. He's new in town and checking out all the stuff around here. I recommended him this place."

You saw Jungkook nodding along with your words while he helped her set his table.

The ahjumma just shook her head. "I apologize, then," She looked at Jungkook and as if gossiping with him, whispered in a not very subtle way, "I keep on telling this girl to date already! Such young beauty shouldn't be wasted, you know."

A tsk-ing sound made its way through her mouth, and as much as you were starting to feel embarrassed that she was telling on you on Jungkook—who was literally a stranger to you a day ago and whom you may have a teeny tiny bit of crush on—you knew ahjumma did not have any malicious intent and just chose to laugh the whole thing off.

You heard Jungkook do the same.

This was ridiculous.

"Ahjumma, I told you, you're gonna be the first one to know when I date. For now I'm just a part-time accountant and a full-time promoter of Midday Miso." You pout at her, trying to dodge the topic of romance altogether.

Not in front of Jungkook.

"Ayee," She gave you a side-eye. "Fine. I'll bring over some extra beef."

You mouthed an enthusiastic "yes!" and raised your fist in the air with excitement, and Jungkook looked at the interaction with a smile on his face.

As the ahjumma walked away, you looked over at him.

"I'm glad you came by—" You identified his order to be the same one you used to be obsessed with the first few months you came to the restaurant. "—and ordered their best seller. You sure know how to be a tourist."

"Looked good on the menu. The ahjumma also seems to be nice. Seems like she's a close friend, huh?" Jungkook said.

"Totally."

And it was the truth. There was just something about ahjumma that made you feel reminiscent about the grandmother you've never had. Ever since you moved in and became a regular at this place, it felt like she's taken care of you and your relationship had been special since.

"This is really good." Jungkook commented after having his second bite, and you nodded in agreement. "She was serious about the beef thing?"

You chuckled at the mention. "Yeah, she always gives me extra."

"You just always get free stuff around these areas?" Jungkook joked which earned a hearty laugh from you. You remembered telling him about the free brownie on Sundays at Brown Coffee, a little bit surprised he recalled that.

"Now that you said that, I actually do." You proudly shared. You've been in this town for so long that the various faces just went from familiar to friends.

Jungkook nodded, his face showing amusement.

"I have to learn your ways, then."

"The secret to that is be incompetent at cooking. It means it's either take-out or eat out. Business owners around here have no choice but to see me every three days because I can't cook my own meal."

You could see Jungkook's amusement growing every second, and to add faux insult to injury, he joked, "Oh, bummer."

You decided to ride along with that.

"You mean you're a good cook? That's the real bummer! And here I thought we were bonding." You said, purposefully trying to sound scandalous at his implication of being a good cook.

He shook his head instantly, chuckling. "Okay, nah. I'm not that good. Just decent. But I'll have you know I can make a mean tangsuyuk. Any other complicated stuff is out the window, so there, we are bonding."

"I appreciate that you're under the assumption that I know where to begin with the non-complicated stuff. You're already putting way too much faith in me."

"I seriously doubt that." Jungkook laughed once again.

"You know what my friend tells me? That I'd die at twenty-nine because I don't know how to cook."

Jungkook almost keeled over hearing you say the words, and as much as you were amused at his own amusement, you decided to further add on the joke because you were enjoying this way too much.

"Wow. I wouldn't doubt you'd be an accessory to my murder the way you're laughing way too hard at my impending death. That's next year, you know."

Jungkook reached over for the glass of water and drank it. While he did so, the ahjumma had come over to give you the beef she promised. You did not forgot to thank her as soon as she went away.

You did hope Jungkook didn't notice the malicious wink she sent your way.

"Fuck, sorry." Jungkook's laughter had gone down this time, but his eyes still showed a hint of mirth when he asked, "You're twenty-eight, then?"

You nodded. "Yep." Unfortunately, you thought.

"Oh, that's actually surprising."

A gasp left your mouth. Jungkook was quick to correct himself.

"I meant it's surprising because I thought you were way younger."

Oh.

"Don't flatter me. I won't share my extra beef with you."

"I thought—" He shrugged. "—Early twenties."

"I'm guessing you are in your early twenties." You joked back.

"Okay, now, don't flatter me. I know how old I look." Jungkook said with a dismissive tone, but nevertheless light-hearted. Just like how this whole thing was going.

God, you were so in awe of how good he was at talking to you that he was practically bringing out the extrovert in you you only ever show to exclusive people like Jimin.

"So, you're like, fifty, then?"

Incredulous, Jungkook burst into laughter. "Wow."

"Sorry, just that you sounded like you were five years from retirement! Anyway, you look like we're the same age?"

He shook his head. "Three years older. Turning thirty-one later this year."

Jaw dropped. Not physically, but mentally.

"Oh wow, you're basically—" a fucking DILF! What the hell!

Thankfully you managed to cut yourself off before Jungkook could think you were way off your rocks and embarrass yourself in front of him for eternity. You could just hear Jimin from miles away telling you off about calling thirty-year-old men DILFs even though you didn't know if they had a child.

What do you mean this guy was thirty and why did that just make him even hotter in your head... He's got to stop this madness before you do something completely incomprehensible.

"—A senior." Was the lame thing you came up with to finish your sentence.

"Ouch." Jungkook said, but his word was completely opposite to the expression he was wearing on his face the way he just couldn't suppress the grin that had been visible on his mouth since you started talking.

You brought your hands up.

"Totally didn't mean that in a negative way."

Which was the entire truth. So far, the things you knew about him was that he had tattoos, a nice body, a nice personality, good ass freaking conversationalist, and that he was thirty! Thirty! As in, the peak of male hotness. The evil psychological concept of most men only getting hotter as they age.

"I'm sure, I'm sure," Jungkok nodded. "By the way, are you heading out after this?"

"Oh, yeah. Don't have anywhere else to go. I have a nine A.M tomorrow so..." you shrugged, and he nodded in understanding.

"You work as an accountant, right, from what you told the ahjumma?" Jungkook asked you curiously.

"Yeah... it's a very tedious job." You grimaced a little bit. "What about you?"

He tilted his head a bit, picking up a dumpling on his plate. "I'm a software engineer."

"Oh, that's cool."

You nodded to yourself while you processed what he said.

Works in fucking tech; another thing you just learned about him.

You weren't actively seeking out guys in tech, but why did they seem to come to you voluntarily? God forbid you saw someone who wasn't in there! Was every man working in tech now? Was Jimin really only being truthful when he said they were exactly your type?

"Have you made any software or is that, like, a wrong assumption about you guys?"

Jungkook merely chuckled at your retort.

"Not entirely, no. I've designed a few software in college—I'm still doing it. I'm just currently doing more business stuff now." He gave you a sheepish smile. "You?"

"Well, it's just... you know—I actually work at a tech company. I'm a junior accountant. And, uh, nothing interesting, really. You get to do cool math like programming, and I get to do boring math like calculating money I don't have. It's always a great day at work." You said, couldn't help the laugh that skipped your mouth at your own sarcasm.

Nothing like joking about hating your job to someone who you just met yesterday.

"Programming and coding are not all that, either. It's tedious and... it's just a really boring job. But... it all pays the bills."

You chuckled.

"Yeah. Totally."

Without minding it, you raised the small glass of soju, initiating a toast, one that Jungkook understood immediately and met you in the middle of it.

The night was still you when you walked out of Midday Miso, but unlike any other nights, it was with Jungkook this time walking beside you.

"So you just—what—hid him for three months?"

"Well, yes! I wasn't about to get a notice for that! And besides, he was really cute. But he's in good hands now, his owner still sends me pictures of him. He's very grown and big."

"That's insane."

You peered at Jungkook who watched you in awe as you told him about the story of Alfredo, the cat whom you rescued on your way home from work a year ago. The landlady obviously had her fair share of rules and regulations in her building, and keeping pets was an absolute no, which was a shame. Definitely wasn't a shame when you first just moved in the complex, but things got lonely sometimes when you were living alone and company was almost a luxury.

Anyway, as told, you managed to keep Alfredo out of the landlady's sight until you found a highly qualified parent on some online forum who you still kept in contact with to this day.

But as you watched Jungkook, you noticed the way his expression fell into something concerning. He looked worried, which made you feel the same way as a result.

"What are you thinking?" You asked him curiously.

"Oh, nah, I was just... thinking. See, I actually have a dog."

"Oh!" You looked at him wide-eyed.

He has a dog; another thing about Jungkook that would qualify him on the regular rounds of hot boy of the month on Twitter dot com.

"Yeah."

"You didn't read the terms and conditions of the building?" Your eyebrows formed a concerned expression.

Jungkook chuckled and shook his head. "I did. I just—suddenly thought about him, is all. He's being taken care of some place. But, you know, I missed him, and I was thinking about getting him here and showing him around my new place and all that."

"Oh... that's a bummer, then. The landlady's strict, even with the small dogs, can you imagine? Is he small, by the way, your dog?

"He's a Doberman, so definitely a big one."

"He must be really cute. What's his name?"

"Bam." He smiled at you, and you could totally see the pride showing on his face at the mention of his dog. And with a tone that you could only identify as someone who's suppressing his enthusiasm a little bit, he added, "You wanna see a picture of him?"

"Sure!"

Jungkook took out his phone from his pocket and showed you images of a big, chocolate brown dog. Bam definitely wasn't like the other regular Dobermans you'd see around. His ears weren't cropped, and his tail wasn't docked either. You didn't know if the lack of surgery was intentional from his side, but you'd like to think he kept it that way because he knew it hurt the dog greatly. From how you've been knowing him, you were certain he just didn't want to put his dog under unnecessary pain, which was honestly heartwarming to think about.

Jungkook was becoming way too good to be true in you head little by little.

"Awe, he's adorable!" You cooed, especially when he swiped through the picture of his pet, Bam, as a pup in what seemed to be Jungkook's arms based on the familiar tattoos that peeked from the exposed arm as seen on the picture. The tattoos also seemed to be new at that time as well, considering that the skin was still yet to be fully covered like now.

"I'm flattered you think that."

"Where is he, by the way? If you don't mind me asking."

"He's at a... friend's place in New York. He's not very good at flying so I didn't bring him with me here, and I thought, I'll only be here for three months, anyway, so." Jungkook shrugged.

Three months. Well. He did say he was only staying here temporarily.

You nodded. "For business, right?"

"Yeah, yeah."

"You grew up there?" You kicked the stone that was caught at the tip of your shoe, putting your fists in the deeper part of your coat's pockets. Summer may be hot during daytime, but it sure as hell was cold on nights like these.

"Nah, I'm from Busan. Flew to California for college and have been there since. Until now, that is."

Jimin was also from Busan, you thought. Though he said they only lived there for a few years until his parents moved to Seoul, but he made sure to visit his hometown every now and then. Most of the time, he made you come with him which you never had complaints about. You lived in the city all your life so going there, especially in the more urbanized area where you and Jimin stayed. Felt like fresh air—which Busan had, quite literally.

"My best friend's from Busan too."

"Really? What about you?"

You chuckled before answering, "I, unfortunately, did not come from any interesting place. Born and raised in Seoul, through and through. Though my mom told me she lived in Daegu for many years prior to having me."

"Seoul is an interesting place, though."

"Eh. It's okay." You shrugged, and your nonchalance made you both laugh.

The walk to your apartment building from Midday Miso was not that far. Still, it was five blocks away and while you and Jungkook were currently sharing conversation together and seemingly walking the same path, you weren't sure if you were both walking together there.

As if he read your mind, he suddenly spoke after a few minutes of comfortable silence.

"You mind if we walk together to the building?"

You decided to joke to get the jittery feeling out of your system.

"Scared of the dark, Jungkook?"

"Sure... my five-eleven self is."

You squinted your eyes at him. He did not just go there!

"Is that a slight against my height because I'm five-seven, mind you."

Jungkook stopped in his tracks which made you do the same, and you watched as he put his hand on his waist while the other reach up to his face to place a finger over his chin, seemingly assessing you up and down. You looked at him incredulously.

"You're bumping your height to two inches." He seriously said.

You gasped audibly.

"Oh, shut up,"

You rolled your eyes and turned your back at him, continuing your walk as you heard him behind you bursting in laughter at your reaction.

"I'm kidding!"

You first met Jimin at a college party. He was five years older than you, supposedly out of college by the time you attended, but he always had a problem with rebellion–what with his ragged relationship with his parents, he would intentionally flunk his courses as a message to them that he'd always be a black sheep and a proud one at that, hoping it would be enough to convey that they could not force him to be the heir of their company. (Obviously, it had taken him nowhere, given that he was now currently attending a training program to work at said company).

But maybe it was a blessing in disguise that he was set back to five years for graduation. Because you got to know him, and he got to know you.

On the outside, you might look like the total opposite of each other–because Jimin was the definition of extroversion who wasn't afraid to put himself out there–while you, admittedly, were more reserved and usually shied away from any public attention.

As much as you were welcoming to a lot of people, you didn't have a lot of close friends growing up–at least not the kind of friends you'd see on TV shows–but when Jimin came to your life, you clicked so instantly you could not even figure out where you two exactly began.

The instant way you two clicked, you realized, was like your relationship with Jungkook nowadays.

Ever since that night at Midday Miso, you've been seeing a lot of each other. Granted that it was only in the same place, same time. You'd usually arrive past seven and he, a few minutes later. Jungkook, cladded in his slacks and long-sleeved polo, was becoming a usual sight after a shift, and your business casual clothes was turning as one for him as well.

Your usual seating spot became his as nights passed, and ahjumma, thank God, no longer asked you if he was your boyfriend. You were glad that she was slowly getting acquainted with him though, greeting him with a friendlier smile and tone reserved only for customers like you when he entered the restaurant, and Jungkook seemed to welcome the newfound friendship wholeheartedly.

On the consecutive nights you'd spent with him, it was almost as if you lived quite the same life. Though, you didn't know when he went to work. In fact, you didn't see him during the mornings even though in theory, it could be easy, granted that you both lived across each other. But strangely enough, you'd never caught him retiring to his flat to go to the bus station. You assumed he started earlier than you or way later.

You never asked, it never came up either.

Still, there was some sort of tranquility in the thought that you could spend some time with someone after your shift and just talk about whatever–and whatever meant a lot of things. Random at best. You once told him about the first raccoon you met in your life, and he told you all about the lioness he got to watch when he went to a South Saharan trip a few years ago.

Sometimes, the conversation went around what happened in the office that day. Jungkook noticed the little blot of ink on the cuff of your baby blue long sleeves, and you told him about the jammed printer in the accounting department. He'd told you later on about how he almost fucked up a report, said he was nervous because he was taking on a new role in the office.

Those moments were shared in long walks from Midday Miso to your apartment building, because naturally, you both established a small tradition of walking home together after a night of eating your hearts out at ahjumma's restaurant.

It was a rather sweet gesture, if you were honest to yourself. But you chose not to linger too much on the romantic thoughts that floated in your head, especially when you'd notice the way he made sure to walk on the outer side of the sidewalk, and when your fingers got too close the tips almost touched.

Because Jungkook, for how objectively good looking he was, was more than just his pretty face and physique.

He was kind and funny and genuine unlike any other straight men you've met in your life. Maybe the bar was low, but for all the times you've gotten to talk to him, he never showed any signs of ego most men would by the second hour of your meeting.

In the dating scene as an adult, a lot of men would come up to a date talking about how high they were placed at their company's hierarchy and how much they made in a month, and when they hear about yours, they'd always have a backhanded comment about how "you could only go up from there, right?" and those moments were always a bummer. Yawn-inducing, to be more accurate. Men and their predictability was boring and it was the reason why you'd declare to Jimin almost every time you got home from a date that you were retired from looking for them because most men just plainly fucking sucked.

But with Jungkook... was it different.

You found he didn't talk a lot, and one time you asked him if you were doing it–the talking–way too much, but he just chuckled and told you that he didn't mind.

Later on, you learned that he was just more of a listener rather than a talker, and that was not only a pure assumption of yours because he did listen attentively, alright. As for all the random things you've told him about, you never expected him to recall a single thing, not until one time when you passed by a food truck.

"Hey, didn't you say you like sundae?" Jungkook asked, and when you followed where his eyes were, it was at the food truck parked just a few steps ahead from where you both were.

"I do... wow. It's been so long since I saw a food truck around here." You said, following his steps towards the vehicle.

They had tables to dine in, and even if you were still full from eating at Midday Miso that night, the sundae was just too gratifying to decline. Jungkook was the same with the tteokbokki on his small plate, telling you he missed eating at one of these things, as they didn't exactly have anything like this abroad.

After he paid for the food (and of course not without a long, silly, light-hearted argument about it), he came back with two sticks of Melona ice pops which you looked at with widened eyes, animated expression written all over your face especially when he thrusted the purple yam flavor to you.

"Oh my god, how do they have these?"

"I was surprised as well... this is the first time in a while I'm eating this again." Jungkook said and then gestured to the ice pop in your hand, "You like the purple yam, right?"

"Yeah!"

You were about to ask him how he knew, but then you briefly remembered that one time you had a passionate rant about people hating on purple yam ice cream and why they weren't right.

And as you looked at Jungkook, he seemed to remember it all too well.

Jungkook showed genuine interest in the things you'd tell him about. He'd visit the cafes and restaurants you recommended to him as much as he could, and because you've come to exchange numbers with him eventually after almost two weeks of casually hanging out, they sometimes came during lunch break.

1 message received from Jungkook (Unit 446)

That day, you only exchanged contacts the other night, so seeing him on your phone so quickly like that caught you by surprise. It was welcomed though.

Jungkook (Unit 446) [12:36pm]: I went to Cafe Heaven for lunch and loved their ice americano

As soon as you read the first message, another one came.

Jungkook (Unit 446) [12:36pm]: This is Jungkook by the way :)

You laughed at his introduction. As if he didn't see you type his name on your phone last night–like he didn't jokingly complain about you putting the (Unit 446) in there but giving in eventually and also adding (Unit 336) to yours in his own contacts.

You [12:38pm]: Hi Jungkook! You [12:38pm]: im glad u went!!! u should also try their fettuccine alfredo

Seconds later, he sent a picture of the dish you just mentioned which put a smile on your face.

Jungkook (Unit 446) [12:39pm]: i'll get my refund from you if this doesnt taste good

You [12:40pm]: 1 week of friendship and ur already ripping me off 🤐

Jungkook (Unit 446) [12:40pm]: 😁 Jungkook (Unit 446) [12:40pm]: first bite Jungkook (Unit 446) [12:41pm]: second bite

What was he on, you didn't know. But you were glad that he was slowly coming around, his jokes getting more... how would you say it... less polite? He just stopped apologizing after he said them! He usually would in the first few days, but now in your newfound closeness, it was like you were out of that stage where you tiptoed around each other still, feeling the other one out, trying to figure them out, all that stuff.

Nowadays, it was just more natural. Smooth-sailing. Paradoxical, almost, because of how the relationship felt more defined as well as loose.

You found you liked it that way.

Jungkook (Unit 446) [12:42pm]: I like it 👍🏻

And to your surprise, he sent you a picture of him, indeed, holding a thumbs up.

You'd like to think you were an expert on going along with the tide because even though you would be classified as introvert by most, you did pretty well in forming relationships with people–granted, most of them were fleeting, at best, hence the lack of bigger circles in most of your life–but you were great with making friends, regardless.

And maybe it was how you ended up with this whole thing with Jungkook. Because you were friendly and open, although you wouldn't dare to take all credits because as you mentioned before, he was a great conversationalist.

He didn't talk much as you said, but he didn't ever make you feel like you were talking way too much because he made sure that you knew he was listening, and when he talked, it was always engaging; conversations with him transitioned to different subjects in perfect seugue you would never noticed how you jumped from Melona ice pops to the existential dread you fought every morning before going to work.

When it came to humor, Jungkook's was different from Jimin's, of course, and your dynamic with your best friend could never be replicated with somebody else but Jungkook was close to truly becoming your friend, and for that, it was getting easier to ignore his handsome face.

You may have had an embarrassing moment of panicking mentally at seeing such a man in the first meeting, but nowadays, you could hold a conversation with him without thinking how hot he was.

Dare you say, you were starting to think more platonically about him rather than romantically. As you said, you were an expert on going along with the tide.

Or maybe that was too soon a declaration, because there were moments, like now, when you were certain juvenile flirting insisted on happening between you, steering you clear from completely feeling wholly platonic about Jungkook.

"I certainly have a bigger hand than you."

As if you didn't know that, Jungkook brought his hand up to show you it. Confused but not totally minding the whole thing, you proceeded to extend your own hand towards his, pressing them both together. Predictably, his hand could have engulfed the entirety of your own.

Jungkook laughed at the sight, and you didn't know exactly who broke the physical contact first but you were glad it was over as soon as it started.

But you couldn't have forgotten the electric zap along your spine when your hand got so close like that to his. Couldn't have ignored the hot feeling in your cheeks when you were made aware of what you just did.

Wow.

Were you guys flirting? Was he flirting? It was flirting, right? Juvenile, at best, because this was what kids did in high school! And Jungkook's hand was so...

You never imagined what it felt like–never even crossed your mind until now. Expectations about how his hand felt never formed in your head because you sure as hell never thought about that kind of thing happening in the first place, but Jungkook's hand was the right balance of soft and hard. Calloused in a way most men's hands naturally were, and soft like enough comfort when held and touched.

It wasn't clammy, thank god, but you also wouldn't have thought he had clammy hands, solely because he just looked like he didn't. But god, was it big.

And my goodness, did it make you feel things.

You drank your water fast and cleared your throat, subtly, so that he didn't think too much of it.

"O-okay, but that's just genetics. Doesn't mean you could throw stronger punches."

You said in retaliation to one of your useless debates which now covered the coin-operated boxing arcade machine across the bus station nearby.

Jungkook leaned back against the monobloc chair that was definitely way too flimsy for him.

You were currently hanging out at the dining area of the food truck you came across a few days ago, forgoing Midday Miso for the night. Lately, Jungkook and you have been exploring a few more places other than there. You've tried other restaurants nearby, but ultimately, Midday Miso was still the top favorite and the food truck was becoming a staple in lieu of its convenience and just the overall vibe of eating outside and feeling the breeze of summer night air.

"You got me curious about the boxing machine." Jungkook said, crossing his arms.

"I held the highest score there for like a week, you know? Only did it though to impress the kids who liked to watch."

At that, Jungkook's face lit up in interest.

"We should do that sometime."

"Oh... I see, I see. You wanna impress the kids, too?" You playfully accused, squinting your eyes at him.

He chuckled and waved you off.

"It can be a challenge." Jungkook shrugged and looked at you with a hint of mirth in his eyes.

You let out a puff of breath, amused at his obvious antics.

"What's the catch?"

"Well... free boba delivered to your door for a week if you get the higher score. How's that sound?" He looked at you expectantly.

You chuckled before saying, "I'm gonna rip you off so bad, Jungkook."

"Only if you win, though." He said with a mischievous smirk.

"Oh, wow. When, you mean. When I win. So what's in it for you?" You leaned your elbow on the table and studied his face.

He looked at you for a while, then, the smirk from earlier was wiped off and exchanged with a much gentler smile.

"Home-cooked dinner at my place next week Friday."

Your eyebrows met.

"You want me to cook you something? Jungkook, do you have a death wish? I may either give you unintentional food poisoning or burn your house down, there's no in between."

"No," Jungkook laughed at your insane conclusion. "Sorry, I should've specified. I mean if you lose, I'll be cooking us a meal at my place."

"Oh."

You were left staring at him, a bit dumbfounded.

He just said he wanted to cook you guys a meal. At his place.

He was inviting you to his place. His personal space.

"It won't be better than Midday Miso but I think I can keep up." Jungkook added with a sheepish smile and scratched the back of his head in that seemingly boyish manner.

"Sure..." you responded, a bit delayed, much to your effort of not showing your big surprise at his offer. Before he noticed the way you were not believing what you heard, you chose to quip in a (hopefully) cheeky, "That is if you win, though."

Jungkook only hummed and then nodded.

"If I win."

He said, smiling at you.

This was dangerous.

The whole thing was teetering to something that was not very platonic, and just as you were starting to think this whole thing was!

Jimin always told you that you were bad at flirting, but in your defense, how were you supposed to know, exactly, if someone was flirting with you? A lot of people were friendly like that! Jungkook was maybe like that? Had you shown interest and he noticed so now he was playing into it? But that would be uncharacteristic of him. You didn't think he'd be the type to do something cruel like that...

But the tide was always rising and falling, they said, and the good thing was; you knew how to go along with the current.

So you did what you do best.

"Would you like to donate to the poor?"

"I'm sorry, ma'am, but there's a chance this card's gonna decline because I am the poor."

The cashier looked you in the eye with an even more impassive look than the one she had before you got your turn on the counter.

"Could've just said no." She said, punching your order away and you had to shamefully swipe your card and leave to go over where Jimin was.

"The cashier just snubbed me for being poor." You complained to Jimin, moving your coat to the next seat and settling in in yours.

Jimin took a sip from his latte and looked at you dead in the eye and said, "I'll call the manager if you want."

"Fuck off." You retaliated immediately. Jimin snorted at your way too predictable response.

See, this has happened way too many times more than what your fingers could count. You could not even pinpoint the exact time when Jimin started to joke about going full-on Karen-mode when you complained about a single little thing at the places you went to.

Anyway, you were currently on a lunch break when Jimin texted to see if you were free. What better way to spend your lunch than with your best friend? The company's canteen food was getting tired and they hiked up their prices. Your office's kitchen also ran out of Solhee's – your coworker – biscuits and so you thought you had to make do of Jimin's money for that day. You told him your motives yourself and as a petty retort, he told you to pay for your own pasta — at a café that was way too expensive for its own good.

You stole a bite off his churros, and predictably, he rolled his eyes at you.

"Why'd you want to see me, by the way? What's up? You don't have training?" you glanced at your wristwatch, reading 12:40pm.

Soon, you were casually taking over his plate of churros. For how ridiculously priced it was, it sure tasted good as hell.

"I got the day off." Jimin shrugged.

You eyed him suspiciously almost immediately.

"Did you really...?"

It was a few seconds before Jimin gave in and took back his plate.

"Okay, no, I ditched the training today but for the record it's for a very important reason."

You put your hand over your chest and contorted your face in an awed, touched expression.

"The important reason being... meeting me?"

"Ew, no," Was Jimin's quick, disgusted, response – which earned a laugh from you as usual.

From your peripheral vision, you saw the waiter heading towards your direction and so you waited for him to come over and serve you your pasta and frappe. After thanking him, you huddled closer to your best friend and asked, "Okay, what is it then?"

Jimi pursed his lips, making your eyebrows meet.

"It's kinda... bummer news."

"You're pregnant?"

"No, you'd be way too happy and I can't be a single dad," He shook his head as if not even wanting to imagine that.

"Namjoon looks like he's gonna take care of it with you." You sing-sang, sipping on your coffee and winking at him indiscreetly – emphasis on indiscreetly because you never knew how to wink properly.

What you did not expect, was the look on Jimin's face when you mentioned Namjoon.

"Well..." He trailed off, and you waited for it curiously; anticipating his impending answer in return because your conversation was always quick-witted like that. But right now, Jimin's expression was devoid of any jokes.

Not something you expected when you just mentioned his boyfriend.

"I— did something happen?" You quickly dropped the teasing tone and exchanged it with a concerned one, eyes looking at him with worry.

Jimin closed his eyes for a while and let out a deep breath. "See, that's the bummer news."

"Do you want to tell me? Or we can just—"

He cut you off before you could even finish your sentence. But he did it with a smile that didn't quite reach his eyes – and this was Jimin. His eyes did not not reach his eyes when he smiled!

"He's going to Italy."

"Oh."

When the pause prolonged for over a minute, with you looking at him mouth agape, Jimin let out a heavy sigh once again and shook his head.

"I know. It's work... and I always understood that. He travels a lot and we're both okay with it. But it was usually just around the country, not another continent. I mean, what did he mean Italy? And that's not even the worst part. He knew a month ago he was going but he only told me two days ago and he's leaving Thursday," Jimin looked at you to take a pause, seemingly trying to look for a reaction.

You thought, that's tomorrow.

As if he read your mind, he nodded, sounding almost defeated.

"I know."

"Oh, Jimin..." You said, not exactly knowing what to say.

Jimin and Namjoon had been together for over a year. At least, officially, because they spent the last three years just casually hooking up on and off. You liked them together and had been more than glad when they finally put a label to it – exactly why you knew Namjoon enough to not badmouth him when you usually would men Jimin usually dated. You knew perfectly well that Namjoon genuinely cared about your best friend and he loved him. So if Jimin was at a loss for this obvious mistake on his boyfriend's part, even more so you were.

"He's been blowing up my phone ever since." Jimin added, glancing at his phone on the table. "Intentionally didn't charge my phone today so I don't receive his calls and texts."

That prompted you to remember the message you received from Namjoon last night.

"Oh, that's why he texted me yesterday. He asked about you, and I told you through text but you didn't answer." Things were starting to make sense now, and as you observed Jimin's face, they were getting clearer. "You never talked since?"

Jimin pursed his lips. He took his coffee back to his mouth and sipped while looking away. "Nope."

"Jimin." You tilted your head.

He looked at you again, and you knew exactly that he was thinking the same thing as you: It was within his right to feel off about what Namjoon did, but regardless; Jimin was being a little petty, and he needed to communicate with his boyfriend instead of giving him the cold shoulder.

There was a pout that formed on Jimin's lips right after.

"I know. I just..."

"He could've told you sooner?" He nodded at your words. You mirrored that. "He should have. Italy is not Busan – it's not just a train ride away."

Jimin sighed, looking exasperated now. "I told him that exactly. I'm not even mad he's going to Italy, I just think I deserve to know right after he was told about it."

You nodded. "You should really talk. It sounds like he wants to apologize, anyway, given that he's now trying to talk to me to get through you."

"Sorry you got caught up in this. I'm gonna talk to him about it."

"Eh, it's fine. Joon and I are also friends, you know?" You shrugged, genuinely not minding Namjoon coming to you.

You liked Namjoon and thought that he was the perfect match for Jimin. They were cute together and just seemed to... take the best out of each other. You'd go to any lengths to keep them together, as long as Jimin wanted Namjoon and as his boyfriend. You've seen Jimin go from relationships to relationships, some just fleeting and simple dalliances, and most destructive and were just... not good for him. You've never seen your best friend truly happy and committed in a romantic relationship other than with Namjoon, and as someone who cared about him, you'd do a lot of things to make him happy.

"Here's another thing, his flight is tomorrow at 11:30pm in the evening. Mom's birthday dinner is at 10." Jimin usually had his composure everytime, and it was very rarely you'd see him show any worry because he liked everybody to think he was in control of every situation. You smiled. Classic Jimin. He'd only ever show his true nature to you though, and that was exactly why he looked at you with worried eyes and continued to say, "I really wanna be there to send him off."

The call time for his mother's party was at 10 and naturally people would start swarming in way past that time. If Jimin were to sneak out way too early, you knew his mother was not going to be happy about it and his father would give him an even bigger shit for it. Sure, he could cancel, but what would he say? That their supposed cishet son is sending off his boyfriend at the airport for the night? He couldn't reason work either because he didn't exactly have one.

After having his wrongful DUI accusation last spring– which was actually already settled, on the grounds that it was definitely not DUI and the owner of the other car just overreacted to a fender bender, the media was adamant on tactically using that to taint his family's image and it unfortunately succeeded – hence, why Jimin had been laying low these past few months; going to training programs, obeying his parents more than usual, doing what they wanted...

You sighed. Your best friend deserved so much better.

"Don't worry, I'll find a way to get us to leave early." You told him after awhile.

Jimin arched his brow, intrigued.

Waving him off, you said, "I can fake something."

As if hearing some magic words, Jimin suddenly perked up.

"No way you're using the diarrhea card?"

Giving him a dirty look, you shook your head. "Nah, not during a dinner party. It's gotta be something new and less... gross."

"Oh, oh!" Jimin put a finger over his lip. "What about a sprained ankle? Can you pull that off?"

You deadpanned. "Okay, you ought to pay me more if you want me to do that."

"I can, but I won't. Stop ripping me off, I'm your best friend."

"Jimin, I'll save you from your family. I'm great at this." You said jokingly, but you hoped that he knew you weren't just jesting and were serious about it.

With the appreciation masking your best friend's face, though, you knew he got the message right away, but as you looked at him longer, you realize that he was about to say something and you quickly pulled back, shaking your head.

Jimin quickly reacted. "No! You know what, I'm gonna say it—"

"Don't say it." You quickly cut him off, giggling while you shake your cup of coffee.

"You can't keep me from saying I lo—"

"Jimin, I will tell everybody in this place you watch dubbed anime, I'm serious."

He gasped, quite dramatically.

"You did not just go there!" Then, he lowered his voice a bit, arching his brow at you, vindicative when he said, "You wore skinny jeans a month ago."

"How dare you, you wore a fuckass poncho last week. I saw on your IG story."

"That was from Namjoon and he also gave you one, FYI."

You grimaced. "Tell him I love him but I'm not wearing a poncho, Jimin."

"I was gonna tell you I love you and that you're the best person ever but now I have to rethink all of that." He rolled his eyes, and when the banter ended with you having the last words, you laughed at his face.

"God, you're just never beating me at this."

"Please, we both know you write your mediocre insults on your diary every night trying to one-up me, __. But let's talk about something else."

"I'm not even gonna acknowledge the diary thing but, sure, shoot." You said, starting to eat your pasta.

Jimin looked at your food full of judgement and grimaced. "Is that shrimp? Your doctor is growing grey pubes as we speak," He commented, and you knew he was referring to your shrimp allergy so you shushed him.

"This is vegan shrimp. It's tofu."

He just shook his head, disagreement written on his face. But he let it pass, anyway.

"Anyway, how's Mr. 446?"

The pasta suddenly entered the wrong track.

"Girl," Jimin was quick to offer you the glass of water on his side and you were just as fast to drink it. "You okay?"

"I'm sure there are existing cases of people dying because food got on the wrong track while they're eating, but yeah, sure, I'm okay." When you finished the water, you looked at Jimin who was just doing the same thing.

Crossing his arms, he eyed you expectantly. "Well?"

"I mean... what do you want me to say?" you told him, and you could've sworn you did not want to show anything on your face but you were certain there was a huge smile on it and for some reason, you couldn't help it.

Jimin's jaw dropped, expressions of disbelief and amusement when he asked you curiously, "What do you mean by that?"

"Okay, look, Jimin—" You scratched the back of your head, feeling a little sheepish to tell him all about Jungkook. "He told me we'd get dinner at his place this Friday if he wins this... thing."

His mouth was agape by then and you couldn't help but laugh.

"You... slut."

You would absolutely be rolling off the floor if you weren't at a public place the moment he mouthed the word, but still, you couldn't help but retort back.

"Shut up, you can't be the only one whoring around in this friendship." Jimin snorted at that and you both had to stifle your laughter when you noticed a woman from across the room eyeing you both.

This was one of the reasons why Jimin and you didn't belong in public places other than bars or clubs – because you were way too rowdy together for civilization.

"So you're saying you're whoring around?" He eyed you suspiciously.

"Wrong information. It's actually kind of platonic."

Jimin quickly waved you off. "Babe, if a guy invites you to his place, nothing is ever platonic about it. What do you think you'll do together there? Stare at each other for two hours straight?"

God, you hated and loved that he enables your delusions.

"Okay, you're being insane about this. It's just dinner," Trying to fight off the not-so-very-platonic things that suddenly played in your head after hearing his previous remark. To show that you didn't care, you added for good measure, "—And anyway, we had some sort of deal about it so it's not definite."

Your best friend just shrugged. "I'm all for it. But you're sure he isn't a serial killer, right?"

"Jimin, god, no," you chuckled at that. "I mean, I don't really know for sure, but we're friends now and as far as I know, he's never shown signs of psychopathy."

Jimin and you hadn't hung out in a while, so you haven't really told him all about Jungkook yet and the things you got to know about him. He didn't even know his name. As far as he was concerned, Jungkook was still Mr. 446, and you were fine keeping it that way. He had a lot on his plate right now, anyway.

"Just being cautious." He sing-sang, putting both his hands in the air.

You shook your head.

"Anyway, we also need to talk about what we're gonna wear tomorrow," Jimin suddenly said. "You got the Pinterest board I sent you, right? For the inspo."

Grinning, you grabbed your iPad from your bag and got to the link immediately. Your phone died on the way to the café. Good thing you had another device and brought it with you.

"I also added a few things in here. Gold and black's the theme, right?" You clarified, scrolling through the board you and Jimin both contributed to. Your best friend took it upon himself to transfer seats so he could be beside you and look at your screen at the same time.

"You're gonna look so good in Schiaparelli, babe," Jimin said while checking out the pictures you added.

"It's just an inspo, I don't actually need to wear a Schiaparelli." You chuckled.

"Who do you think your best friend is?"

You both laughed at that but it stopped when a notification popped up on your computer. Recognizing the address as your work email, you were quick to hover over it. When you were about to open it to see the full message, your iPad suddenly died.

"Shoot." You looked at Jimin with a straight face. "I forgot to plug it in. Didn't notice the battery."

Jimin grimaced. "Didn't bring any power cable."

"We'll have to do with a phone. Mine died."

You were just about to ask him for his but then you remembered what he said about avoiding Namjoon, hence, his phone was of no use either.

"We're gonna have to freestyle."

Last year, Mrs. Park's party was held at a theater hall – your first time at one, by the way.

Tonight, it was at their mansion.

You've only ever been to the Park's a total of one time, which was now. Stepping a foot inside here for the first time in your life, the house felt unreal. It was the epitome of money and wealth and everything regal in the world – like a palace of some sort. They had butlers and guards at the gates so maybe that wasn't an exaggeration, but damn, Jimin truly came from money.

Regardless of how shiny the whole building was in both literal and figurative senses though, there was an emptiness to it. It didn't look lived in – which was a fair assumption for a house this big. It definitely did not look like people liked staying here, and maybe that was not a stretch, because as soon as he turned 18, Jimin moved away and lived in his own place ever since. You asked him on your way here and he told you it was his first time this year to visit his own house.

The decoration was sick, though. Granted, they must have surely hired people to do it but at least they'd hired excellent ones. You wouldn't have expected anything less from Jimin's mom.

Jimin and you arrived at 10pm sharp, and thankfully, people were already starting to fill the place up. It was now past 15 minutes to 10pm since you arrived and there really was nothing different that went on from last year; you saw some familiar faces, politicians, and celebrities. Jimin introduced you to some people as his girlfriend, and you got to have quick chats with his model friends.

You knew it didn't actually matter if you thought about it carefully, but there was truly nothing compared to the feeling you get when you see someone in the flesh that you only see on TV all your life. You didn't feel lucky to see them in person, per se, you were just poured over the realization that these people were actually real and they weren't just some sort of simulation to keep the entertainment industry of your country afloat.

Although, you did meet Han Sol – an actress whose works you genuinely admired. Jimin just told you her husband was his second cousin.

It wasn't later that Jimin and you were invited to his family's table, where some of his cousins and immediate family were.

The greetings went pretty normal. Normal as in: Jimin's mom didn't say anything about your weight first thing first. Granted, she didn't try to hide the look of disappointment on her face when she saw you with his son. Probably reeling at the fact that you were still "dating" each other even after a year — she was probably under the impression that it wasn't serious between you two last year. His father, meanwhile, was... quiet. As usual. A man who obviously didn't really say much except ask Jimin about the training program and his siblings' jobs.

Mr. Park didn't really talk to you, just like last year. Like you were almost invisible to him – and you were glad that was the case. He probably didn't like to acknowledge your supposed relationship in the first place. Probably knew that you were working a middle-class job and didn't want to know any further. But at least, he wasn't saying anything. That was nice.

"Where's your cousin?" Asked Jimin's mom suddenly, looking at his son.

"He said he got caught up in traffic. Sent 20 minutes ago." Jimin shrugged. You would ask him about which cousin they were referring to but they had like millions of it at these events so you didn't bother.

Mrs. Park shook her head disapprovingly. "That kid. Always late to the family dinners. Did Junghyun ever teach—"

"Hey,"

Your attention was then focused to the man who just arrived. Black tie, tall... dashing. Jimin was a good-looking individual and his family, as evil as they may be as per his words, were blessed with good genes. If you were to look at the new man that arrived to the table very carefully, you'd say he almost looked familiar.

"Oh, Junghyun!"

Jimin glanced at you and discreetly mouthed, "Cousin."

"Aunt, happy birthday." He said after laughing at Jimin's mother coos. He looked across the table and continued, "Hi, uncle. Jaeyul, Sunghoon, Jimin." They all greeted him back and you could feel the hairs on your nape starting to stand up when his eyes landed on you once again. "And this is...?"

"Oh, that's Jimin's girlfriend, __." Jaeyul, Jimin's brother said.

"Hi." you greeted him, waving a bit.

"Oh?" Junghyun immediately looked at Jimin, eyes not hiding his shock. When you trained your eyes on Jimin, you felt his fake smile. "That's great, man. I didn't know you had a girlfriend. Hi, miss...?"

"It's __." you filled in.

"Nice to meet you, __." He said with a smile. The more you looked at him, the more you could almost pinpoint who he looked like – but that shouldn't really matter.

Junghyun looked over Jimin's parents once again, "Anyway, sorry I'm a bit late, got caught up in traffic."

Jimin cleared his throat.

"How about you, Junghyun? Got a girlfriend yet?" He asked as soon as Junghyun sat on the opposite side of the long table.

You could see Jimin's mother's curiosity peaking at that.

"Tell us, dear. Last time you were dating Kang Iseul, right? The actress. You're still with her?"

Everybody at the table nodded while you almost choked on the smoked quail you were eating. He was dating Kang Iseul? She was a popular actress who announced a hiatus three years ago. That actress Kang Iseul?

Junghyun chuckled and shook his head. "Nah, aunt, that was my brother, and uh, no, I'm not dating anybody currently."

"Oh well. I just wish your brother stops dating that woman. I never really liked that girl. She acts way too self-righteous! I mean, who cut ties with their billionaire father and live independently just so they can say they're self-made? It's ridiculous." Jimin's mother said in that usual snotty tone of hers, and you could not possibly process all of what was going on.

If it wasn't clear to you a moment ago, it was crystal now. Unfortunately, you were a bit chronically online and were there in real time when one random tweet blew up about Kang Iseul being a nepotism baby. But was this guy's brother really dating her? The most important and concerning thing, though, was that: why was Jimin's mom always so annoying about who her family members date? And this was not even her immediate family, mind you.

"Jina," Jimin's father had a warning tone when he called her but Jimin's mom just shrugged him off with a "tsk!"

"Kids are so ungrateful nowadays, don't you think? Anyway, Junghyun dear, you remember the Kang gala I told you about two months ago?" Jimin's mom looked pointedly at Jimin and you bit your lip.

Of course, here comes her passive aggressive disapproval of you.

"Kang Heesu and her sister Kang Hani will be there. Heesu is a wonderful woman," she chuckled, looking over at Jimin's direction subtly. You had to physically restrain yourself from rolling your eyes. Couldn't she be more obvious about acting as a wingman for Jimin and Heesu? But she continued, just like she always did. "I also heard Kang Hani is going for senior partner at Yoon and Yang, you may be interested. Pretty lady."

Junghyun just awkwardly laughed. "I'll keep that in mind."

Jimiin's father suddenly spoke, making everyone look at him.

"Where is that kid?" He said, authority dripping through his voice. Jimin was obviously not close to his father, and who would be? Mr. Park was way too intimidating. You found it funny to think if he ever did anything remotely paternal towards his children.

"We were supposed to go together but he said he had something to finish. He'll be arriving later." Junghyun said, obviously not oblivious to the "kid" Mr. Park was referring to. You were way too uncaring to actually try to figure that out.

"I see." Jimin's father nodded. "How's Jeon and Min, Junghyun? I heard you were just appointed managing partner last week."

Junghyun responded with a "yes" and they started to talk about the law firm – you assumed – and other people they mutually knew related to the business.

You knew Jimin's complicated family tree was composed of all sorts of professionals, but damn, they had lawyers in here too. It was like out of a career day event at grade schools.

"Is it true Gukka's going to be CEO?" Jimin's mother said, joining the conversation.

You were glad they were doing all the talking. Last year, they talked to you like they were interrogating you and that was not nice.

"Well, dad's not giving up the company so soon. Gukka's going for interim CTO first." Junghyun said with a polite smile.

Gukka. That must be the brother of Junghyun, although it sounded more like a nickname than a real name.

"Your brother's a hard worker. He's looking at a CEO position, some are still at training programs." Jimin's father remarked with a pointed tone.

Oh, fuck me, you thought to yourself. You thought it was gonna take awhile for the comparison to start, but it seemed they were determined to beat their record of one hour from last year.

You tried subtly looking at Jimin to see if he was okay or anything, but you felt him squeezing your wrist under the table. His face was devoid of any emotion as he continued with his own food.

Junghyun, meanwhile, was obviously taken aback by the response and also looked over at Jimin. He was quick to recover, though – probably knew that was a jab at his cousin just like every other person in the room. Atmosphere grew tense, and you had to squirm in your seat a little bit.

"Training programs help a lot, though." Junghyun awkwardly laughed. You were starting to feel bad for him as well.

"Well, you're lawyering. Trainings are important. Mine's kinda stupid." Jimin said which made everybody look at him, including you.

"You're learning anything yet, son?" His father pointedly looked at him.

"We'll see."

Jimin's dismissive tone made you feel the eye roll he would've done after saying that.

Look, he rebelled for the most part of his life so him being passive-aggressive towards his family was not a new thing, but to witness it was both nerve-wracking and honestly... funny. His parents were such assholes so they probably deserved his attitude.

Mrs. Park smiled a fake one before looking at you.

"Well, what about you __ dear? You're a... what was that again? How is that going for you?"

Because you wanted to piss them off, you mirrored her fake smile and said, "I got fired six months ago at my accounting job."

"Pft—" you pinched Jimin's arm at his reaction.

Of course he'd laugh at that. You asked him how you could piss his parents off tonight just to get back at them from last year and he told you to pretend to be unemployed or you work a minimum wage job because that was their biggest ick. Jimin didn't know you were going to come through.

"Oh."

The look on Jimin's mom's face looked as if she heard the most scandalous thing ever, and if his father's frown was deep even before the dinner started, his face was now below the ground. It felt satisfying to get those looks on their faces. Good! They were such assholes. Imagine getting devastated at someone being unemployed? Okay – for the record, being unemployed was devastating but these people weren't sympathizing with that, they found it humiliating in an elitist way– criminal almost.

You nodded, your lips almost getting tired from stretching them too far.

"Yeah. Anyway, I started working at a local burger joint. You should visit us sometime."

"I'm vegan." Jimin's mom said, her face now drained with the fake joy she's worn all night.

"We have vegan options." you quipped. Jimin once again made a sound beside you, hiding his laughter.

"Wait, really? They offer vegan options at a street burger joint?" Sunghoon, the youngest of the Park brothers, asked.

You almost laughed at the genuine curiosity in his voice. He was still in high school and from what Jimin told you, he was a nice kid. He wasn't very close to any of his brothers, though.

"Nah, it's the only one in town." You bullshit one more time, drinking the wine beside you. "Sorry, can I excuse myself for a minute?"

They nodded and you stood up, heading to the bathroom, brisking once you got out of their sight to get there more quickly.

It was now 10:30 pm – meaning, you had to do something to get Jimin out of here now if he wanted to be on time at the airport to send off Namjoon.

Once you got inside, you looked at yourself in the mirror and sighed.

This whole thing was sucking the shit out of your soul, but you needed to get through it.

It took you awhile to finish your pep talk in the bathroom.

If only you could've have locked yourself in there to avoid socializing with anybody, you willingly would. But you were running out of time and unfortunately, you had something to do and that was to fake some illness to get both Jimin and you out of here.

When you got out to approach the family's table one more time, you suddenly stopped in your tracks.

The table was at least fifteen meters away from where you stood, but you could clearly see the side in which Jimin's cousin, Junghyun, sat, facing your direction. He wasn't the issue – no, far from it. It was the guy beside him who wore the same set of black tie as him; the face attached to the body who wore it though, was someone you did not expect to see.

Why the fuck was Jungkook, Unit 446, here?!

From where you were, you could see him engaging with Junghyun and Jimin's parents. You couldn't hear them, of course, but it was clear that they were acquainted – close – even from afar.

Why did he look so comfortable with the Parks? Why was he at the family table laughing and conversing with everybody, including Jimin? Why did he seem like he went to many of these, like this was just another Thursday for him?

There was a waiter who walked past you and you were grateful for it because had it not been the case, people would start to get weirded out about you standing on the same place longer than necessary, looking stoned. That was also an opportunity to run away from the situation without Jungkook possibly seeing and recognizing you.

"I'll take this," You told the waiter and grabbed the glass of champagne and quickly turned on your heels, heading to the opposite side of the family table where the Parks, and apparently, Jungkook were.

You found yourself heading to the bathroom again, your feet seemingly developing a mind of its own as it led you there unconsciously. You knew you'd be in trouble if they found out about you putting the champagne glass in the sink, but you needed to get inside the toilet and think over everything that was happening tonight.

What the fuck. What the fuck! Again, why the hell was Jungkook here?

As far as you knew, he was just a regular man that happened to be living across from you. He was just supposed to be some guy you were regularly hanging out with nowadays. Your friend. Your crush – whatever! What he wasn't supposed to be is be here at your best friend's mother's birthday party and hanging out with his family!

Your phone dinged, a message notification from Jimin welcoming you.

cuntress #1 [10:32pm]: girl what happened I saw u going back to the bathroom?

You didn't know why it was suddenly too hot, but you felt the balls of sweat starting to form on the side of your forehead.

You [10:33pm]: im going with the diarrhea excuse

cuntress #1 [10:33pm]: tbh idc atp I just wanna go to joon 😔

"Shit!"

Right! Joon. Namjoon. Jimin needed to go to Nmajoon as soon as possible.

cuntress #1 [10:33pm]: also another cousin has arrived u rmr jeon jungkook he's junghyun's brother cuntress #1 [10:33pm]: love this guy but moms starting to compare me to him and I need out right NEOW im justt aking hits after hits jesusssssss

You could just feel the blood draining from your face as soon as you read Jungkook's name in the text.

Jeon Jungkook. Jungkook. Gukka. Kook-a.

That was why the Junghyun guy looked familiar. Because he had the same coloring of Jeon Jungkook. Because they were goddamn siblings.

You started to replay some memories in your head, trying to figure out if you've ever heard Jungkook talk about his family in one of your conversations. But as far as you remembered, he never did. All you knew about him was that he was from the States, and he only got here because of work and he had a dog and as far as you were concerned, his cousin was definitely not Park fucking Jimin, your best friend.

Pacing around the confined space of the toilet, you tried to wrack your brain if you've ever mentioned Jimin to him and in the event that you did, why he never told you that he was his cousin – but you came up blank. Blank because you never told him about your best friend's name... and in turn, Jimin didn't know what Mr. 446's name was, either. They were both genuinely oblivious about the whole thing and couldn't have made you a fool in the situation.

In short, you were the one who was stupid as hell for not connecting the dots sooner.

"Hey, you just landed?"

"Nah, you want me to pick you up?" Jimin sat up on the edge of the bed and you looked at him curiously. "Sure, I'm free, Kook. You have a place to stay? Hotel suite or something?" He nodded to whatever the other person was saying on the other line. "Oh, you're here for three months? Thought you were just flying in for mom's birthday?"

It was moments after they said goodbye that Jimin turned to you to ask, "Well, my cousin's apparently staying here for three months. Got this job thing going on."

"Fuck me." You hissed, remembering that time when Jimin told you about his cousin staying here for three months because of work.

cuntress #1 [10:35pm]: its either ur taking a guinness world record breaker piss there or u really do have diarrhea now and ur shitting cuntress #1 [10:36pm]: anyway get this, jungkook's gonna be interim cto at your company did u know that??????????????????

You almost dropped your phone upon reading the last message.

What the hell did he mean by that?

Heart beating fast as if it wanted to break out of your own ribcage, you closed your eyes and read Jimin's message once again. There was no way he would be shitting you about any of this. He knew where you worked at and you knew your current company was his uncle's, and now that you knew Jungkook was his cousin...

Shit. Was this what they were talking about at the table earlier? About Junghyun saying his brother was gonna be interim CTO? Did he mean Jeon Jungkook all along? Your freaking neighbor?

Suddenly, you remembered the email you received that afternoon that you never bothered to check again because you simply forgot about it. Who even actually checks their work email? Literally no one. You spend your weeks facing your computer while email flew in like porn ads on a shady website, you weren't about to willingly go to the app and check it on your leisure time.

But maybe you should have.

Fingers involuntarily shaking in their wake as you switched to your work email on your phone, you clicked on the recent unread message that was on top from the HR department.

Subject: Invitation to Ceremony: Announcement of Interim CTO Dear Blue Nexus Inc. employee, We hope this email finds you well. We would like to inform you that a ceremony has been scheduled on July 29, 2028, 10:00 am at the AVR Hall 5, 12th floor. The purpose of this meeting is to announce the appointment of our interim Chief Technology Officer (CTO), Mr. Jeon Jungkook. As you may be aware, our previous CTO, Mr. Shin Juman, is currently on medical leave recovering from a stroke. While he is recuperating and undergoing treatment, it has become necessary for us to appoint an interim CTO for an indefinite period of time to ensure the continuity and effectiveness of our operations. Your presence at this ceremony is highly valued as we introduce the new leadership to the team and outline our strategic direction moving forward. Light refreshments will be served. Thank you for your attention to this matter. We look forward to seeing you at the ceremony. Best regards, HR Department

You knew that feeling when you were just taking hits and hits? This was it.

So not only was Jeon Jungkook Jimin's cousin, he was also gonna be the interim CTO of the company you were currently working at. He was technically going to be your boss, and you would be both working in the same place all the while living across each other where he would see you taking out your trash every Sunday morning in your worn-out highschool PE shirt and pants. He was going to be your boss working at the company you complained to him about on the nights you walked together to your shared apartment complex.

You flirted with Jungkook. You flirted with the guy who was the son of the owner of your whole company building – and not only that, he was your best friend's cousin, to add salt to injury.

You [10:38pm]: jimin we need to get out of here

cuntress #1 [10:38pm]: ive been saying

You [10:38pm]: but i cant go out there again. Just tell them i had a problem in the bathroom??

cuntress #1 [10:38pm]: ok on it cuntress #1 [10:38pm]: im kind of convinced u shitted in there tho????????

You rolled your eyes, but at the same time found an opportunity in that. Jimin can't know the truth.

You [10:39pm]: u cant judge me for having a very human experience fuck u the cake i ate earlier was giving cake boss

cuntress #1 [10:39pm]: KJAHFKGSIDFHDSHASFHSKJBF

You [10:39pm]: im literally doing this for u and joon

cuntress #1 [10:39pm]: IKNOW!!!!!!!!!!!!thanks to ur stomach problems cuntress #1 [10:39pm]: im going there

You [10:40pm]: make sure they don't see us again to really sell the whole im-embarassed-thing

cuntress #1 [10:40pm]: ON IT! Were going out the back door I don't think they'll notice

You couldn't even find it in you to laugh a little bit at your silly exchange and scheme, because you were way too stressed about what you just found out.

You let out a controlled, heavy breath, leaning your back on the door and shut your eyes aggressively.

"What the hell am I gonna do after this?"

PART TWO | ....

#fic: nb #jungkook smut #jungkook angst #jungkook fluff #jungkook imagines #jungkook scenarios #jungkook fanfic #bts jungkook #jungkook x reader #jungkook #jungkook x you #bts imagines #bts fluff #bts smut #jeon jungkook x reader #jeon jungkook

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solkara · 6 months ago

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❛ 𝐁𝐋𝐎𝐎𝐃𝐘 𝐋𝐀𝐂𝐄 , benjicot blackwood ❜

⌗ 𝐬𝐮𝐦𝐦𝐚𝐫𝐲 , you were the apple of your family's eye a rare gem they would do anything to protect but sometimes even the purest doves crave something bloody

⌗ 𝐩𝐚𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐠 , benjicot blackwood x fem! velaryon / strong! reader

⌗ 𝐬𝐨𝐥'𝐬 𝐧𝐨𝐭𝐞 , benji with the 10 seconds of screen time ateee tbh or wait is it not benji cuz I've heard some people say it's not so plz explain cuz I'm so confused lmfao !!

house of the dragon masterlist

⌗ you were a bastard. born from a night of passion shared between you mother and father. rhaenyra and daemon. but no one would ever call you a bastard. as you bore all the features of a targaryen unlike your siblings. white hair purple eyes. the seven kingdoms called you aemma reborn. as your striking resemblance to your late grand mother was uncanny.

⌗ growing up life was easy. your mother and grandsire doted on you. your siblings would go to the ends of the known world for you. ser harwin and leanor though not your real fathers stepped up and were there for you whenever you needed them. and though you had never met your real father your mother told you that he would love you.

⌗ truth be told there was nothing that daemon more than to be with you. his daughter. his oldest. but he settled for watching from afar for now. hearing about all of your achievements in pentos. how you had claimed the creeping death amaris. a dragon that had never been claimed and was rumored to be from balerion's final clutch. and it showed. as amaris was the largest dragon around. making vaghar look petite. and while daemon couldn't help but be the proudest man in the known world. part of him breathed a sigh of relief that his daughter didn't get hurt.

⌗ life was good. as you grew older tales of your beauty spread far and wide. from winterfell to dorne. you had suitors from all over flock to offer their hand. from dresses to castles. they offered it all. but were ultimately shut down by either your mother or grandsire. even the queen alicent tried offering the hand of one of her sons. but that idea fizzled out after diftmark. though it was still obvious that both of the queen's son's still bore a certain mixture of fondness and lust for you.

⌗ the deaths of harwin and laenor broke you. and after the the harrowing night of having to watch aemond lose an eye. you were exhausted. your eyes red and with no tears left to cry. you walked off to find your mother after having just finished packing. only to find her with an unfamiliar man. "mother?" you asked approaching with caution.

⌗ "my darling girl I want you to meet someone this is daemon your father" and for a moment your heart stopped as you looked at the man before you. you had dreamed for so long for the day that you would finally meet your father. and now it was here you didn't know what to do. but fear not as daemon took matters into his own hands. pulling you into his embrace which you gladly accepted. finally you left complete.

⌗ after that time seemed to fly by. your mother and father got married. your brother got betrothed to your half-sisters. and all of you lived happily on dragonstone together. with you and your siblings going for frequent dragon rides together. teaching them high valyrian. listen to your father's many stories he gained from his travels. and letting your mother braid your hair while the two of you giggled about the newest gossip.

⌗ though there was one topic she would never touch. and there were suitors. as princess rhaenyra had received hundreds if not thousands of offers for her daughter's hand. which she all denied. at one point there were so many that daemon restored to using a large chunk of them as kindle for the fire in their room. claiming "none of those vile pig's are good enough for my daughter" to which the heir agreed. the last thing she wanted was for her beloved daughter to be used by some lord as a broodmare.

⌗ but rhaenyra knew that she would have to wed her daughter off at some point. and that scared her. though her eldest was the blood of a dragon. you were gentle and soft. the apple of her eye and the thought of you being hurt. by a man nonetheless made her heart clench. and daemon agreed swearing he would rip any man. regardless of who. if they tried anything with their daughter. which was easy to say as the royal couple were under the impression their daughter's interest hadn't been caught by anyone. but oh how wrong they were.

⌗ see you had indeed had your eyes set on someone. who's name happened to be ben. the first time you saw him was at your name day tourney. where he jousted against a lannister. and won much to your joy. before going on to win the tournament. after asking for your favour. which you gladly gave. and you couldn't help but blush. as you couldn't deny he was attractive. even if he was covered in someone else's blood.

⌗ and so began the beautiful friendship between the two of you. as you went from secret love letters sent by ravens. to flying to see him whenever you could. truth is you were head over heels for him. just as he was for you. you were two half's that made a whole. twin flames if you will. and ben had made it clear that he would give you the world and that all you had to do was ask for it. a sentiment which you reverberated. the two of you had talked about a life together. married and with kids. now all you had to do was tell your parents.

⌗ but oh boy when you decided to tell them. was that an interesting conversation. your father nearly unsheathed dark sister. your mother nearly passed out in horror. your brothers were either confused or looking at benjicot like he was dragon food. and your sisters were smiling from ear to ear. but after they had all settled down you spoke. and the two of you made it very clear that you were madly in love. and after a few more threats from your father and brothers. a couple more happy tears and hugs from your mother and sisters. everyone had made peace with the fact and were overjoyed for the both of you.

⌗ and within the week news had spread to every corner of the seven kingdom's of your betrothal to the blackwood. and with was also said that the men of the kingdom's morned the loss of the chance to marry you by descending on brothels to drink and lay with whores. your uncles included. but you paid little mind. as you enjoyed life within your little bubble. spending your days with your family and benji. life was perfect. and you couldn't wait for the wedding.

⌗ and once the day finally arrived. you were jittery with nerves. dressed head to toe in white. you looked the spitting image of duty. as you walked arm in arm with your father towards the alter. the eyes of hundreds of highborns fixed on you in awe. but all you could focus on was. ben. your ben. as the two of you recited your vows with joy you sealed it with a kiss. and after the celebrations of the night. and your new husband threatening to behead anyone who dares mention a bedding ceremony. the two of you joined select family. from both side. to join for another ceremony. a traditional valyrian wedding. and as you sealed your love once more with a bloody kiss. you now truly had it all.

anon , May I please have a targaryen! reader, daughter of daemon and rhaenyra, born after jace like she looks so much like Aemma, and the kingdom would speak of her as Aemma reborn, being favored by Viserys and her people. Can imagine her claiming a dragon that was rumored to be from the late Balerion’s clutch, a stark contrast to the other she-dragons, with her own being a ferocious creature of black scales and fire of black and red. While she is loved in her kingdom, she is also loved in her family. Much like Helaena, the reader is the apple of the kingdom’s eyes and dearer to her family more than anything. And when the topic of suitors comes, all of them are horrified when the one that catches her eye is the Bloody Ben himself, Benjicot Blackwood. ps. I’m a sucker for a beloved character whom loves someone that is the exact opposite of her 😭💖 Requesting for more familial and platonic fic with the Benjicot romance just maybe being small 😩☝️

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lavendercharm · 10 months ago

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Linger, Chapter 5: Kiss With A Fist/Human Nature

A/N:

Ya'll. Writing this chapter felt like a marathon. But I think I'm ultimately very happy with it. Please let me know what you think!

This chapter is a bit longer, and I think it deserved to be named after two songs because of that. "Kiss With A Fist" by Florence + The Machine definitely fits the first half of this chapter and was one of the first songs I added to my playlist when writing this story, so I knew I wanted to use it for the big public confrontation.

The vibes toward the end are different. I discovered this song earlier this week and haven't been able to stop listening to it, so maybe I'm just reaching to try and justify including it lol. But "Human Nature" by Barrie is what I decided to use for the second half of this. Cause they're spitting facts when they say "Human nature doesn't always come easy" lmfao.

This is far from the end of this story, but it may be a second before you hear from me, depending on how busy the next few weeks are. I say that - watch me turn around and post something this weekend lol.

Thank you to everyone who's stuck with me thus far. I love you and I'm so grateful to know you're along for the ride.

---

Summary: From the moment you meet her, you can't stand Melissa Schemmenti.

Warnings: Strong Language

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Barbara Howard did not take days off. It was only recently that she allowed herself her first mental health day, and while she could see the benefits, she had been eager to get back to her classroom, her students, her best friend, and even her coworkers. The life of a teacher was unpredictable, and the life of a teacher at Abbott Elementary came with its own unique set of challenges, but Barbara had seen a lot in her decades of teaching. With some hard work, support from her fellow teachers, and the grace of God himself, she had seen and survived it all. Barbara Howard could conquer anything thrown her way.

However, if Barbara had the magical gift of foresight, she might have chosen Monday morning to take her second mental health day in her entire history at Abbott.

As it was, Barbara could not see into the future, and so she entered the teacher’s lounge at 6:30 AM, on the dot. She claimed her usual spot, made herself a cup of coffee, and began sorting through her lesson plans for the week. She enjoyed her few moments of serenity in the lounge prior to the arrival of her more talkative coworkers. It wasn’t unusual for Melissa to arrive a bit later, especially on a Monday, so Barbara thought nothing of her absence. She politely greeted Janine and Jacob as they entered together; she did the same for Gregory shortly after. As the three younger teachers gathered at their table and discussed their weekends, Barbara continued her work, occasionally reacting to what she overheard. And when you entered the lounge, your first time visiting in the morning, Barbara was mildly surprised, but she shot you a warm smile all the same. She noticed you seemed to be a bit tense, but she chalked it up to the fact that you were still very new.

Melissa had talked her ear off about you last Monday, of course, explaining your tardiness and the shots you’d taken at her about her age. When Barb pressed her for details about your confrontation and what you’d said to each other, she simply said, “I took care of business, a’right?”

While Barbara agreed it was unprofessional of you to arrive late, she also knew Melissa better than anyone else in Abbott did; she knew Melissa could take things too far. Melissa was as passionate as they came, which meant she was one of the best teachers at the school. On the flip side, she also had a short fuse. Barbara knew she didn’t have all of the details, but she didn’t think much of it - you were a sub, after all. She expected she’d never actually meet you.

So when you arrived in the lounge for lunch the day after your explosive argument, she was shocked. While skeptical of you, she couldn’t help but admire your tenacity. You’d come face to face with the wrath of Melissa Schemmenti and still returned to Abbott. You’d introduced yourself, and as far as Barbara could tell, you were perfectly polite and well mannered. The displeasure and hostility radiating off of Melissa was felt by everyone in the lounge, but aside from giving her close friend a pointed look, Barbara chose to ignore it.

You’d continued showing up the rest of the week, greeting Barbara every day before taking a seat with Janine and Jacob, as well as Gregory, occasionally. The younger teachers seemed to have taken an instant liking to you, the four of you sharing stories from previous schools or discussing the latest movie releases. You’d even had a good-natured exchange with Ava one morning. The principal had leant against the corner with her phone and talked you through her “roster”, whatever that meant. Barbara was sure she didn’t want to know.

Barbara observed how seamlessly you integrated into Abbott’s social circles - with the obvious exception of the red head who always sat to her right in the lounge. Melissa pretended you didn't exist, which would have been fine if it wasn’t the elephant in the room. Your first day in the lounge, Janine had tried to talk to Melissa about you. She’d turned to Melissa with a huge grin on her face and said, “Man, Melissa, you’re so lucky to have such an awesome sub as your aide.”

Melissa had glanced at Janine over the rim of her cat-eye glasses, and in a sharp tone, retorted, “What sub?” That’s all it took for everyone in the room to grasp her unspoken message: If you value your life, drop it. The only reaction Barbara saw was a sharp flash of your eyes before you turned your back to the older woman and called Janine over, changing the subject.

But last Friday, Melissa caught up with Barbara after the school day ended and explained that you’d just given her two VIP tickets to the Eagles game on Sunday. If there was anything that would help Melissa forgive your transgressions, it was that. Once again, Barbara found herself impressed with you - you took the initiative to make amends and you’d knocked it out of the park. She was happy for her friend. She’d told Melissa, “Just think of how much you’ll be able to accomplish now that you and that young woman can work together. Now, you and Gary go enjoy that ball game.”

A week after your first morning at Abbott, all of the water was seemingly under the bridge, and the staff room could breathe easy again. No one paid much mind to the anxiety radiating off of you. For the most part, the energy in the room was calming as the day began.

The sudden CRACK of the door slamming into the shelves violently ripped the room’s occupants out of their morning zen. It was enough to cause everyone to nearly jump out of their skin. Heads whipped in the direction of the doorway as Melissa’s furious form charged into the lounge. Her attention was initially on Barb, but as she opened her mouth to speak, her eyes locked on you. The blush of fury rose instantly in her cheeks. She ripped her bag off of her shoulder and tossed it in the direction of her regular table, nearly hitting Barbara in the process, and as her eyes narrowed, you could practically see the steam rolling off of her as she hissed out, “You.”

And that’s when Barbara knew any chance of a peaceful morning had gone out the window.

—----------------------

As your weekend began, it didn’t take long for it to sink in that you were well and truly fucked. You completely failed to consider the consequences of your little scheme. There’s no way in hell Melissa wouldn’t be out for blood at the start of the next school week. The smartest thing to do would be to never return to Abbott, move to a new city across the country, and change your legal name. You went back and forth between chastising yourself for being ridiculous, and being so ridden with anxiety that you couldn’t eat. You felt so stupid - what did you think would happen?

Ultimately, you reached a point where you couldn’t handle the crushing weight of what you’d done alone, so you’d spilled to Ava. Her response had been about the least reassuring thing she could have said.

You did WHAT? I didn’t know you were crazy like that! You’re gonna die girl. I’m not even joking. We gotta go out this weekend, cause it’s your last one alive. I’ll make sure you have fun tho. Do you own any latex?

After refusing Ava’s offers to make your last days on earth worthwhile, you spent most of the weekend drowning in anxiety and imagining how Melissa would bring about your demise. You decided you had to do your best to prepare. You literally couldn’t afford to not go back to Abbott, especially after getting your headlights repaired Saturday afternoon. Under the anxiety, you could feel the ember of your rage, still pulsing with a red-hot glow, so you decided to grasp ahold of it. What you’d done was shitty, sure. But compared to smashing headlights? All you’d done was get even.

Seeing as you couldn’t afford to uproot your whole life and leave Philadelphia, the next most logical thing to do was to never be caught alone in a room with Melissa ever again. You were pretty sure this was something you could pull off - you figured you had two weeks left at Abbott tops, and as long as you had kids or other teachers in the same room, you would have witnesses who could recount your violent death should Melissa murder you.

This is what caused you to arrive at Abbott on Monday morning a full hour and a half before you needed to be there. You’d dithered in your car for about fifteen minutes, debating driving away and then talking yourself out of it. Eventually, you braved the outdoors, darting into the building and down the hallways as quickly as you could. You practically sprinted past Melissa’s classroom door - the lights were out, but even though you logically knew she wasn’t in yet, your mind conjured a vivid image of her jumping out of the shadows like a monster in waiting. You slowed down and tried to control your breathing as you entered the teacher’s lounge, and you were immediately soothed to see how many people were already there. Even better, Melissa was absent.

As you passed Barbara, you gave her a hesitant smile. You actually liked Barbara, as much as you can like someone who’s polite and whom you don’t know very well. You figured it may be the last chance you get - surely the woman would turn against you once Melissa told her what you’d done. Janine, Jacob, and Gregory were all sitting at your usual table, and after preparing your morning coffee, you quickly situated yourself in a seat, thankfully facing the door to the lounge.

“Hey!” Janine said, shooting you her adorable, slightly gapped-toothed smile. “How was your weekend?”

“Oh, uh… it was fine,” you said, your eyes darting toward the door as it opened. Not Melissa . “Mostly caught up on chores… had to get some work done to my car, fun stuff like that.”

“Car problems are tough,” Gregory said, spooning a bite out of his bowl of plain oatmeal. “What was wrong with it?”

“Uh…” you hesitated, unsure if you wanted to share what was really wrong. It would inevitably lead to questions and the last thing you wanted was for everyone to know the details of your feud. It was one thing for everyone to know Melissa didn’t like you - there were very few people Melissa actually liked in general. But it was another entirely for them to know she’d smashed out your headlights. Something generic - a bad alternator, maybe - would suffice.

You didn’t even get the chance to lie.

Despite the fact that you could see the doorway, the resounding SMACK of the door slamming open still made you jump. Before your brain knew what it was processing, in stormed Melissa Schemmenti, thick heels clacking on the linoleum tiles. She wore a form fitting pink sweater, the neckline questionably appropriate, and skin tight black pants. Her saint necklaces shimmered from their home on her collarbones. You supposed she wanted to look hot when she killed you.

It only took a moment for her eyes to lock on you, and in that moment you knew things were about to get ugly. To your surprise, seeing the flustered state she was in created a feeling of immense satisfaction. She was furious because your plan had worked. You didn’t even fight the smile that began to find its way onto your lips. The anxiety wasn’t gone, but you relished in the triumphant feeling of landing a critical hit.

“ You,” she hisses, tossing her bag from her shoulder. The tension in the air was thick enough to be cut with a knife.

Your eyebrows shoot up, feigned ignorance in your voice as you point at yourself and respond, “Who, me?”

She starts toward you, and everyone else at your table scatters. You’re shocked to see Janine step in front of you, her hands up placatingly. “Melissa-”

“Shut it, pipsqueak, and get out of my way ,” she growls, her gaze over Janine’s head burning holes in you.

“Hey!” You spit out, anger spiking and crowding out your anxiety. You’re suddenly standing. “Don’t call her that!”

Janine turns to you, holding a hand in your direction now too. “It’s fine, she calls me that all the time-”

“It’s not fine!” You shout, fists balled. Your eyes are glued to Melissa’s. “You think you can say and do whatever you want because no one will stand up to you. Well, I’m not going to put up with it!”

“Oh my god, please stop this. I will never psychologically recover from seeing your dead body,” Jacob pleads, wedged between the corner of the room and the fridge for cover.

“Can’t believe I was dumb enough to trust ya,” Melissa growls. “And after all that bullshit about ‘olive branches' and bein’ cordial.”

You smirk. “Oh, right! How was the game?”

Melissa starts forward again and Janine has to physically hold her back. She’s shockingly effective in spite of her small stature.

“Ya know I didn’t get into the game! Gary and I went all the way to the stadium, but you gave me fake tickets! We wasted our whole afternoon and got harassed by security!” she shouts.

“So what are you gonna do about it? Beat me up? Call the cops on me?” you challenge.

A deeply offended look crosses Melissa’s face as her jaw drops. “Are you callin’ me a snitch?” she snarls. She surges against Janine one more time, who manages to keep her back again. “That’s low, even for you!” Melissa says nastily over Janine’s shoulder.

“Oh, that’s low?” You ask incredulously. “Low like smashing someone’s headlights out?” There’s an audible gasp from Jacob in the corner, and you feel the heat of everyone’s gaze turn from you to Melissa, the whole room enthralled by your verbal tennis match.

Melissa glances around her before pointing an accusatory finger at you. “Ya can’t prove that was me!” You thought someone would have to have been born yesterday to believe that; anyone who worked at Abbott knew that’s exactly something Melissa would do.

“Oh yeah, because everyone else here keeps a bat taped under their desk like a neurotic asshole!” you proclaim, throwing your hands up in the air.

“I’ll show you ya stronza- ” Melissa hisses, pushing past Janine and beginning to reach for you. Your arms come up to instinctively protect your face, but before she can reach you, a figure closer to your height blocks your vision.

“THAT IS ENOUGH!” Barbara Howard bellows. The whole room comes to a standstill, frozen in time. Even Melissa has been stopped in her tracks, her eyes wide in shock as Barbara looks accusingly between the two of you. You feel immediately ashamed. “Are you both not grown adults? I cannot believe the absolute foolishness I’ve just witnessed!” She rounds on Melissa. “Especially from you!”

“Barb, she-” Melissa starts.

“I don’t care if she insulted your cooking to your face, you do not behave like catty teenagers! We are professional, grown people! Acting like this in front of your peers? Disgraceful! ”

She rounds on you, her eyes narrowing. “And you. To think that I was beginning to think highly of you. You went to all that trouble to make fake football tickets, just to get back at Melissa? Have you ever heard the phrase ‘An eye for an eye’ ?”

The pit of shame in your stomach is sickening as you slowly lower your arms, your eyes unable to meet Barbara’s. Feeling like a petulant child, you couldn’t help but mutter, “She started it.”

“And now I’m ending it!” Barbara yells. You feel her grip the sleeve of your sweater and pull. You stumble after, seeing her grasp Melissa as well. “You are both coming with me!” The rest of the lounge doesn’t move a muscle as Barbara Howard physically drags you into the hallway.

She marches with both of you in tow, Melissa sending you the nastiest glares she can muster from the other side of her friend. Stopping in front of a classroom full of bright colors and tiny chairs, Barbara turns to both of you. “This has gotten completely out of hand! You are both going to sit in my room and we are going to work through this. I don’t care if it takes all day - you will NOT be allowed out until you can act like civilized adults!” She folds her arms and gestures her head forward. You stare back for a moment, thinking she must be joking, but the woman doesn’t budge. After a moment longer, you enter the classroom. You’re followed closely by Melissa, who stalks to the other end of the room.

Barbara closes her door and pulls down the window blind. She turns to you both, her eyes closed and her shoulders rising in deep, even breaths. Eventually, she opens her eyes, and commands, “Take a seat.”

You glance around and only see chairs for children. You begin to protest, but the look on Barbara’s face prompts you to simply grab the nearest chair and plant yourself in it. Your knees are comically close to your chest and you don’t know where to put your hands. You settle on resting them on top of your knees. Melissa is pacing back and forth, muttering to herself - you guess she gets to ignore Barbara’s request.

“Now,” Barbara begins. “We are going to talk out your problems so we can put this whole mess behind us. Your students deserve you at your best, and you cannot be your best when you’re at each other’s throats!” She’s stern, chastising, and you feel ridiculous. “Where did all of this animosity start? Why are you angry with Melissa?”

You can’t help but scoff because the answer should be obvious. Barbara presses her lips together in annoyance and you quickly reply, “Well, where do I begin? Aside from smashing my headlights out, she’s done nothing but disrespect me since I stepped foot in her room. She was insulting me before she even learned my name!”

“I never learned your name,” she pipes up spitefully, and you whip your head around to glare at her.

“Memory not as good as it used to be?” you retort. A muscle in her jaw jumps out as she clenches her jaw, her face coloring once more.

Before she has a chance to rip into you again, Barbara cuts you both off with a stern, “Knock it off!” She looks exasperatedly between the two of you before pinching the bridge of her nose. “The Lord is testing me today,” she whispers to herself, shaking her head. She turns her attention to the fiery woman across the room. “Melissa?”

Melissa comes to a stop, planting herself and leaning her weight onto one hip. She rolls her eyes, gesticulating wildly as she speaks. “If we’re goin’ back to the start, then first things first, she strolled into my class thirty minutes late. Didn’t even have the decency to apologize.”

“You didn’t give me a chance to!” you protest. “I hadn't even stepped into the room before you were criticizing me. It’s not like I did it on purpose, it was a complete and total accident. And then you started insulting how young and inexperienced I look.”

“I was just givin’ you a hard time, that’s all,” she says indignantly. “How was I suppose ta know you can’t take a joke?”

Your head whips toward her. “And smashing my headlights? Was that a joke?” you retort incredulously.

Her eyes narrow and her tone is venomous as she hisses, “Nah, that was for throwin’ away my school supplies, stealin’ lunches, and callin’ me a bitch.”

You hear Barbara’s sharp inhale and jump to defend yourself. “Those supplies were all broken or unusable! You have so much on your hands with two classes and I was just trying to help you. Also, Janine gave me that lasagna because I forgot my lunch, I didn’t steal anything. You wouldn’t give me a chance to explain myself before jumping down my throat. Not to mention calling me degrading names in Italian!”

Barbara raises an eyebrow and gives Melissa a knowing glance. “Melissa uses gabbortz quite often, it’s nothing to get offended over,” she says, an attempt to reassure you.

Melissa’s eyes dart to Barbara’s as she huffs, “Uh, it’s gabbadost , Barb. And I mighta used somethin’ more… vulgar.” To your disbelief, the red head practically looks sheepish at this admission. Her arms cross in front of her as she shifts her weight, and your eyes are drawn to how the motion causes her cleavage to swell ever so slightly. Feeling heat flood your cheeks, you dart your eyes all over the room, attempting to find something else to fix them on. Luckily, neither woman seems to notice. Barbara’s eyebrows are furrowed in an inquisitive way that suggests she’s waiting for the shorter woman to elaborate. Melissa lets out a puff of air. “I mighta used the ‘P’ word, a’right?”

Barbara’s eyes widen as her mouth drops open in a gasp. “The ‘P’ word? Melissa Schemmenti, you don’t mean-”

“Yeah, yeah, the one I save exclusively for Kristin Marie. That ‘P’ word.” You don’t know who Kristin Marie is, but Barbara looks positively scandalized.

Tearing her eyes away from Melissa, Barbara stands and turns away from both of you, hands on her hips and head shaking in disapproval. As she takes her turn pacing across the room, the disappointed silence from the older woman allows the weight of the last week to settle on you, and you find yourself suddenly exhausted. You lean forward, your head in your hands and the shame rising inside of you like a tidal wave. How did you get here?

“Well, I think you both have been sufficiently horrible to each other,” Barbara says, turning toward you. “Now explain how this has all made you feel.”

You and Melissa groan in unison. “Come on, Barb,” Melissa starts, but Barbara holds up a single admonishing finger to silence her. The Italian woman becomes subdued immediately, and you notice how different Melissa’s reaction is to being silenced by Barbara.

“How has this made you feel?” the older woman presses, her tone of voice a warning to comply. Melissa leans against the wall, refusing to budge. You all sit in tense silence for what feels like an eternity, and you wish the floor would swallow you up. She was using the same tactics on you that you might use on two fighting eight year olds.

Eventually, you can’t handle the tension any longer and you burst out, “I feel totally disrespected!” You look to Barbara and she gestures for you to continue. “I uh… I feel belittled, and like you don’t take me seriously, but I think the worst part is I never got the chance to prove to you that I belong here… you wrote me off before you even met me. I’ve worked hard, and I love what I do, so to have you disregard me right off the bat, just because I made a mistake and I look young… it felt pretty shitty,” you admit, the confession coming out of you in one long rush.

“Especially because… I was excited to work with you,” you add quietly. You’re suddenly enamored with the floor, unable to bring yourself to look either woman in the eye. You feel exposed and vulnerable, and you’re majorly uncomfortable with it.

You’re forced to endure your feelings of discomfort for a few more torturous minutes. Suddenly, your eyes widen in shock as a husky voice meets your ears, and it takes a moment for your brain to process the words.

“I guess I feel a lot of the same,” Melissa admits. You raise your gaze to meet hers, and she’s staring at you intently, the earnestness reflected in her jewel-green eyes making your heart skip a beat. “Felt like you didn’t really care when you were late. Some a’ these kids? They got plenty of adults outside of these walls that don’t really care. That’s the last thing they need here. And then ya walked in and you look so young… I couldn't resist teasin' ya. But then you got me back and I got defensive, and I shouldnt’a.” She shifts her weight, casting her eyes to the floor. “I bought all those supplies with my own money,” she admits. “So seein’ you throwin’ em away, it really rubbed me the wrong way. But… you were right. I was tryin’ to stretch em when there was no more room to stretch. And then seein’ my lasagna on your desk… I know I can be a real hot head, and I took it out on ya and it wasn’t fair.”

As you look at Melissa, her red hair shining under the fluorescents and her evident unease at her own candor, there’s a swelling feeling in your chest and a warmth slowly spreading in your limbs. “Melissa,” you say, and her head snaps up to meet you. You search her eyes, waiting for her to snap at you for using her first name. She doesn’t. She simply waits, holding your gaze, and you can’t quite read what’s behind her eyes, but you suspect it’s something far softer than she’s shown you before.

You allow yourself to swim in those emerald pools for just a second longer before you admit, tenderly, “I’m sorry.” You see her shoulders drop ever so slightly, tension releasing as she allows your words to sink in. “I’m sorry for what I’ve said about your age. I’m sorry for throwing your things away without asking. And I’m really sorry about the Eagles tickets. That definitely wasn’t my finest moment.” You say the last bit with a touch of humor. You pause for a moment, before adding, “I’m not going to apologize for the lasagna, though. Janine insisted on giving it to me, and it was one of the most incredible things I’ve ever tasted.”

You see her eyes widen, her brows raising in surprise. A genuine satisfied smile graces her lips, and you can’t help but momentarily wish things had been different over the last week so you could have seen more of those. That smile made her entire demeanor change.

“Well,” she says, eyes flashing with her own humor. She shoots you a sly grin, and you return a small smile of your own. “If I’m bein’ real with ya, I’m impressed. Fake tickets? Pretty diabolical,” she continues, admiration in her voice. Her smile fades, though, and she brings her hand up, pressing a knuckle to her lips briefly in thought. She sighs, murmuring, “I’m sorry too. I shoulda given you a chance before jumpin’ to conclusions. And, uh… I’ll pay for ya to get your headlights fixed.” She mutters that last part, and you notice that she didn’t apologize for smashing them - but you know it’s as close as she’ll come, because you’re not sure she entirely regrets it. You’ll take what you can get.

“Thank you,” you murmur, and once again you suddenly can’t look at her anymore. Luckily, Barbara draws your focus to her as she clears her throat. You both look toward the older teacher as she stares down at you, a smug, triumphant smile dancing across her full lips.

“Now, was that so hard?” She asks, her voice teasing both of you. For the first time in days, you feel like you can breathe fully again. Melissa rolls her eyes, pulling herself away from the wall, but you detect a hint of relief radiating off of the woman as well.

“Don’t expect us to hold hands or nothin’ Barb,” she says as she heads for the door. When she reaches it, she pauses and turns to you. She considers you for a moment, and you begin to feel warm underneath her gaze. Finally, she says, “Well, ya comin’? We got lessons to plan for the day. How do ya feel about teaching Science?” Her tone is gruff, commanding, no nonsense. The carefully curated tough exterior of Melissa Schemmenti is back in place. But you’ve seen the slightest glimpse of the human being underneath.

“Right behind you,” you reply, and a tentative grin breaks out across your face as you stand and begin to follow the short woman. You pause briefly though, a thought entering your mind, and you turn to Barabra. Your hands grasp each other behind your back as you rock forward onto the balls of your feet, and you convey your gratitude by giving the older woman the warmest smile you can muster and uttering, “Thank you, Barbara.”

She returns your smile, her own radiant and warm, and you can’t help but feel like you’ve been blessed a bit. “My pleasure, dear. Go on, I’ll see you at lunch.” You nod in agreement, and turn on your heel, following after your lead teacher. You’re not friends - seeing as your time is limited at Abbott, you don’t imagine you ever will be. But you feel lighter, and there’s a newfound respect for the short woman. And for the first time since you stepped foot inside Abbott Elementary, you feel excited for the day before you.

-------

A/N:

Yes, I'm sorry, Gary will be briefly mentioned/perhaps even making small appearances. Stay strong lol. Controversial opinion but I don't hate Gary. Did I think he was good enough for Melissa? HELL NO. Do I think he should have respected her wishes and listened to her when she explained her boundaries? HELL YES. But ultimately he was just a big dumb guy who was infatuated with Melissa Schemmenti, and to that, I relate. Still, I wasn't mad about that split.

Fun fact - if you've watched season 3 episode 4 already, I wrote the Ava roster line before that episode aired. I died laughing when the kids were talking to Gregory about his roster. We don't need to talk about the firefighter exchange... denial is my favorite state.

#melissa schemmenti x you #melissa schemmenti x reader #melissa schemmenti #Spotify

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miekasa · 3 years ago

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Mie, I’m begging for some Jean college au bf hcs - im literally so down bad for this man and the way you write men is just 🤌🏻🤌🏻🤌🏻

Absolutely, not a problem 😌 I saved this ask as a draft a while ago when you sent it, sorry for just now getting to it. Anyway, I love Jean with my whole heart, best boy, best boyfriend <33

King of forehead kisses, and not even just because of his height in comparison to yours; he just likes it. He likes the feeling of pressing his lips against your skin, and making you feel safe.

Brings you tea or coffee however you like it every day without fail. If he can get it to you in the morning before work/school then he’ll do that, if not he’ll meet you some time in the middle of the day to drop it off. Your own personal courier just for drinks.

He… has a thing for long(er) nails. He loves the feeling of them against his skin, even if you’re not scratching to apply pressure—just you holding his hand them grazing his skin is enough for him.

That being said, he will pay for you to get your nails done. Actually, he’ll pay for… almost anything you want, but the nails benefit him as much as they do you so feel free to ball out.

He never blowdries his hair because he doesn’t... know how to do the back of it. You did it for him once and he hasn’t stopped thinking about it since, but he’s also too embarrassed to ask you to do/style it again.

On the subject of hair, he does do his best to style it and take care of it, but he’s a sucker whenever you play with it. Sometimes he feigns like you’re messing up all his hard work, but he’ll literally crane his head into your touch. He loves it.

The first time he lays on top of you and you run your hands through his hair... top 10 most euphoric moments of his life. He tries to fight off the sleep threatening to take over him, but it’s futile. Give it 15 minutes at most before he’s knocked out like a baby.

Dogs love him. Anytime you’re in a park or just taking a walk and there’s a dog around, it’ll come up to him and he looks adorable leaning down to pet it. He loves dogs, too! So he’s always happy to stop and pet them. He’d be a 10/10 dog dad.

Has your name saved in his phone with two hearts at the end. Do not point it out.

Loves taking pictures together and if you guys are on a date, he’ll ask someone to get a picture for him. He just likes having them to look back on (and to send to his mom, later).

He doesn’t mind painting classes or videos or tutorials, but he hates paint by numbers kits. He claims that they have no sense of color theory and that it takes the originality and fun out of painting. Not to mention the quality of the paints isn’t great to begin with; all of which he takes very seriously.

It’s pretty cute actually, to see him get worked up over the paint kits. He claims that painting and drawing isn’t even something he takes “that seriously,” it’s just a hobby for him (one he’s insanely good at); but in moments like these, you can tell that he’s way more into art and art theory and history than he lets on.

Huge movie guy, from animated movies to martial arts movies, Jean is usually willingly to give anything a watch at least once. When he’s high, he can go on about his favorite directors and art styles and movie details for hours if you don’t stop him. It’s super cute. Just don’t bring up Moana, because he’ll start crying.

Arm around the shoulder kind of boyfriend for sure. It’s a casual way of keeping you near him and letting everyone know that you guys are together. Plus it allows for him to easily pull you into him for a quick forehead kiss when needed.

Listen. If you hug his arm, he’s on cloud nine. He tries to be nonchalant about it but he’s about three seconds away from his eyes rolling back in his head it feels that good to him. Bonus if you lean your head on his bicep a little—then he’s a goner.

He takes his bagels very seriously and believes that both you and him deserve nothing but the best quality bagels. He’ll grumble if a bakery gives you guys a less than favorable one and make a note that taking the long route to get to his favorite place is much more worth it.

Always makes you walk on the side furthest from the cars. If he notices you’re not, he’ll just shuffle behind you until he’s shouldering the street and you’re on the inside.

He grew up on a kind of modern ranch situation; not exactly all the way in the countryside, but not isolate from the city, either. Because of this, he knows how to ride horses, take care of smaller farm animals, tend to plants, and yes he knows how to use a lasso. You wouldn’t know any of that though, because he never ever talks about it. The only way you find out is when he takes you to visit his mom’s house for the first time, and she asks him for a hand around the place.

(He’s got a cowboy hat, too, but refuses to put it on. He got it when he was, like, nine, okay, leave him alone).

When he thinks you look tired, he’ll wrap his arms around your shoulders to hug you. It’s usually followed up with a kiss to your head, and a promise that you guys will go home soon and get food on the way.

He’s a really good cook. He just understands and flavors and pairings really well, so he doesn’t need a recipe to make something that tastes good; he just kind of knows what to add to get the balance he’s looking for.

Naturally, he’ll cook for you. Especially if he finds out that you haven’t eaten all day/in a long time. He doesn’t care if it’s 11pm and it might seem excessive to make steak and potatoes with a side salad at this hour, he’s gonna do it to make sure you eat, and you are going to sit there and watch.

He also bakes pretty well, though he isn’t as experimental with his baking as he is with his cooking. He usually sticks to what he knows, and it’s not cupcakes and brownies and cakes; he’s better at croissants, and cheesecakes, and canelés.

Dating Jean means getting along with his friends. If you guys didn’t know each other before you started dating, be prepared to be ambushed by Connie and Sasha (after Jean stops hiding you away and gives them the green light lmfao). Neither of them waste time with the small talk and formalities; straight into mini golfing and beer pong. They make you feel welcome right away.

Sasha always teases that you’re too good for Jean, and that she might just steal you away for herself some day. Sasha is also Jean’s main confidant, so she really knows just how much he loves you, and yeah, she teases him for being lovesick, but really she’s happy for Jean. And proud of him for facing his feelings like this.

Connie adores you, and you know he trusts you when he starts going to you for advice/help. Could be anything from schoolwork, to what color he should get his new shoes in. He’s also the one who, surprisingly, you have the sentimental talks with about your relationship with Jean. It’s easy to overlook, but Connie loves Jean, and he’s come to love you too; he just wants you both to be happy, so he’s there to listen when you need it.

Jean waits outside of your classroom after you’ve had a test or presentation, usually with a drink or a snack, or the promise of taking you out as a treat. Always tells you he’s proud of you, and is there to comfort you if you think you didn’t do too well.

He does not shut up about whatever major you’re in. It could be the same as his; it could be the complete opposite as his. He thinks it’s so sick that you’re doing it, you make it look cooler, you make it look better, and he’s certain you’re the smartest person in your program.

He’s pretty serious about his studies, too, so he’s always down to study with you in the library whenever you’re both free. More often than not, he shows up after you, usually with food or extra chargers. He greets you with a kiss on the forehead, and asks you how you are while massaging your shoulders gently. If it’s been a while since you took a break, that’s the first item on the list, after that, he gets to work and stays with you until you’re ready to go, even if he doesn’t have as much work to do.

He always sits across from you. This goes for when you’re in the library, or out to eat at a restaurant; Jean loves sitting across from you. He gets to see your face the best that way, and he adores looking into your eyes when you talk.

He’s not... not a morning person. He’s not up at 6am ready to grind, but he wakes up before noon; let’s say 10am is his happy medium. That being said, if you wake up before him, regardless of the time, there’s a 9/10 chance he’ll lay on your back and tell you to hush so you guys can sleep for 10 more minutes.

If you’re (close) friends with Eren, Mikasa, and Armin, Jean is... happy you’ve got people to rely on, but, “Of all people on the planet, you put your trust in Jaeger?” He acts so bitter (because he is), but deep down inside, he’s glad you have Eren to rely on if you need to.

(Also, you have to humble him and remind him that he and Eren aren’t all that different. If you like him, why wouldn’t you get along with Eren, bye).

Turns out though, that it’s not Eren who threatens to beat him up if he breaks your heart. It’s not even Mikasa, although, her threat goes without saying; it’s Armin he’s terrified of.

The last time Armin hated someone, it was this guy in your program, who happened to share a few mutual classes with him, too. Jean never knew the full story, just that he’s pretty sure that kid dropped out the following semester.

If you have a job on campus, Jean usually doesn’t show up while you’re working (knowing how embarrassed he would be if you did that to him), unless you work the night shift and it’s dead. Connie, however, does show up; usually in some kind of crisis (“Please help me, I don’t know what the fuck APA formatting is and this is due tonight, please, please, please!!”). Your coworkers actually thought Connie was your boyfriend for a minute. That’s when Jean starts showing up more lmfao.

He makes it a point to go on a scheduled, night out, kind of date at least twice a month. He knows life gets busy with school and work and midterms, but he always makes sure you both set side a time to take a well-deserved break and be with each other.

He’s the romantic type, so these dates are pretty swoon worthy, too. Drive-in movies, nice dinners, classy art exhibits, Jean plans it all. On that note, he really likes planning dates; he just doesn’t like talking about them with his friends beforehand.

All in all, very romantic, very precious boyfriend. He’s always thinking about you, what you need, and how he can help you out. You’re one of his main priorities, and he just wants to treat you right.

#anonymous #when.... when.... WHEN IS IT MY TURN #aot x reader #jean x reader #jean kirschtein x reader #jean kirstein x reader #aot imagines #no because he's the love of my whole life #jean fluff #jean smut #eren x reader

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volleychumps · 4 years ago

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Heyy 💖🥺 I love ur work and I would cry if you did this: Karusuno boys reacting to their S/O coming back from a long summer vacation, please make this as fluffy as possible I want my heart to melt from the sugar 🥺💗

if your heart didn’t melt babes I didn’t succeed~

The Karasuno Boys Reacting to S/O Coming Home From a Long Vacation

----------------------------------

Daichi

- Simple baby is 100% the type to pretend like he wasn’t dying to see you after such a long time

- leans against the glass windows of the airport as your flight finally lands, heart drumming rapidly against his chest in contrast to the small, relaxed grin on his face as he counts down the minutes displayed above the terminal

- you knew that he was waiting for you, but that doesn’t stop him from scanning the crowds seriously- almost as if he thinks you would have forgotten that he was

- so when he sees you decked out in flight clothes, hair tied into a messy bun with a rolling suitcase behind you, the grin that overtakes his features matches the excitement in his heart as your head turns back and forth to catch a glimpse of him

- decides to wait for you to see him first, slipping his hands in his pockets and watching amusedly as you look around in confusion for his face

- shakes his head when it takes you a minute, the bright expression on your face when you finally meet his eyes making the captain jut his head to the side like come here you

- takes you in his arms tightly when your pace quickens in his direction, taking you off guard at how hard Dai held you to him as his grip grows impossibly tighter, the ache in his chest finally relieved when you laugh softly into his chest

- “I’m back, Dai.” “It feels unreal. But you’re here.”

- glides his fingers through the hair on the back of your scalp to look at you fondly before chuckling at your teary expression, lips finding your forehead

- “You’re finally here.”

Sugawara

- Definitely the type of boyfriend to have been spamming your phone throughout your vacation, making sure you were eating properly and taking care of yourself without him doing it for you

- lowkey it kind of felt like he never left, but you still missed seeing him in person

- So when the day came where you finally arrived, Suga arrived at the train station early in a white-collared shirt with the cuffs rolled to his forearms, anxious to see you as he continously scratches his cheek and runs a hand through his gray hair

- so when the train arrives almost an hour later, Suga is leaning against one of the poles with a small smirk on his features in front of the doors, holding a simple sheet of copy paper with your name on it

- heart does a backflip when you emerge passed the giggling onlookers at your boyfriend’s sign, watching your expression become one of exasperation before shaking your head and rushing into his now outstretched arms

- catches you by the waist, not ashamed to give you a little spin as a relieved laugh slips the setters lips, happy to finally get to see the tangible you as you pout up at him

- and lowkey make sure you didn’t lose any weight because dammit he told you to eat properly

- “Suga, I said no signs-” “Awe come on, you know I did it because you told me not to.”

- ignores your playful glare to cup your cheek gently, the other hand on your hip as he holds the sign in place with an easy grin before taking your head gently and tucking it into his neck

- “Miss me?” you giggle into his neck as Suga sighs, smiling into your hair as if he could finally relax, breathing out the tension in his chest

- “You have no idea, angel.”

Asahi

- Omg this poor baby kept telling you not to text him too much or even call because he wanted you to enjoy yourself on your vacation without worrying about him

- so you did what he asked of you, albeit hesitantly, but in reality Asahi felt more lonely without you than ever

- Has the day you return marked on his calendar, and when the day finally comes, he’s at the airport bright and early, bringing along one of his jackets and some snacks in case you were cold or hungry from your flight

- taps his foot in anticipation while waiting for you, jaw slackening when you exit your terminal with the sun in your hair and bounce in your step as he straightens immediately

- tightens his grip on his little bouquet of flowers he had brought, nervous smile crossing his features when you spot him

- Baby is a tall boi what can you expect

- Walks to meet you halfway, stumbling over his words at the sight of you after so long, in the flesh as you bounce up to him, glint in your eye as if you were meeting and falling in love with him all over again

- “H-Hey! How was your flight, I brought you some-”

- eyes widen when you let go of your things and throw your arms around his neck, tension in his arms relaxing as he wraps them tightly around your waist, one of his hands still holding the flowers as the sack of snacks and his hoodie falls to the floor

- whispers “I missed you, God I missed you.” over and over again into your shoulder as he melts into your embrace, honest words filling your ears as you giggle

- “Asahi. I’m here now, alright?” You whisper back, quiet enough so he can hear it, grinning like a maniac into his embrace

- Pulls back with a closed-eye smile, slight moisture in the corners of his eyes as he strokes your face with his thumb gently, leaning down to touch his forehead against yours

- “Welcome back.”

Nishinoya

- Lmao don’t get me started on this boy, he’ll want to be calling you via FaceTime every night during your time away, even if it’s just to say a quick goodnight to each other before you turn in

- If it’s different timezones this mf doesn’t care, he’ll wake up early just to wish you goodnight

- 100% will show up to the airport with a shirt that has your name on it, bonus points if that shirt has a picture of you on the back

- Doesn’t stop bouncing on the balls of his feet until your flight finally lands on schedule, and pushes his way to the front of the other people waiting while ignoring their strange looks when you emerge among the other passengers

- “Make way people, Y/N L/N is entering the vicinity.”

- lmfao the people waiting with him are like: yo is she famous is he a fanboy

- runs to meet you, and you laugh before letting go of your rolling luggage to run as well, definitely not expecting Nishinoya to hug you so tight he’s lifting you off the ground and spinning you in circles

- “Oh my god you’re real. I’m touching you.” “Noya...what are you wearing-:

- deadass tucks some hair behind your ear before kissing you, soaking in the familiar feel of you while not caring about the onlookers who were either passing with worry or smiles on their faces

- but you care lmao

- “Noya, not here!” “Now that’s not fair.”

- smirks at your blushing cheeks when he takes your face in his hands gently, brown eyes glinting as he brushes his nose with yours

- “All those months and not getting to kiss you? You better believe I’m about to get my fill now, babe.”

Tanaka

- This boy would absolutely be the most extra, more extra than Noya if you can believe it

- Is the type to claim he can’t come see you, but lowkey makes the arrangements with your family to actually be the one to show up when you’re least expecting it

- I kid you not Tanaka will pull up in this nice-ass car (probably borrowed, but who cares), shades on and everything while waiting for you outside the airport, leaning against the front of the vehicle like some hot-shot while holding this extra-ass sign for you

- so when you exit the airport looking for your parent’s car, imagine your surprise when Tanaka is leaning all cooly against this car you’ve never seen before, lifting his shades slightly when you approach him with an eyebrow quirked

- lmao a whole ass crowd gathered too your mans really outdid himself

- “You Y/N L/N?” “Babe, what are you doing?”

- scoffs, ignoring the racing in his heart before opening the car door for you, and you amusedly get in before Tanaka nods all mysterious-like to the crowd before getting in and driving off, the silence heavy between the two of you

- “So that was quite the greeting-” you’re cut off when he parks immediately, leaning over the console to take your face in his hands and kiss you like his life depended on it, hand entangling in your hair as you smile at the desperate movements like a man starved

- “All that just for me?” You whisper breathlessly as Tanaka’s eyes scan your face, pulling you into a tight hug over the console, and you promise you can hear him sniff as he mumbles against your shoulder

- mans really got out of his cool character real quick-

- “Thank you for coming back to me.”

Hinata

- Apricot-haired baby definitely talked Kageyama’s ear off on how much he missed you, and couldn’t wait for you to come back for the summer you were gone

- Probably led to Kageyama texting you in addition to your boyfriend’s sweet ones, begging you to cut your trip short so you could save his sanity

- But if I’m being completely real Hinata would probably over-sleep on the day you were set to arrive, waking up just as your train pulled into the station

- couldn’t sleep the night before because he was so excited awh baby

- And let me tell you this boy would run like the earth was cracking in his wake, jacket halfway on his body and probably the wrong shoe on each foot

- Deadass I’m not kidding, he made it to the station just as you were able to hail a taxi back to your home, seeing you from a distance and instantly zooming over to prevent you from getting in

- Shoves through a crowd of people, wanting nothing more than to see you, so he jumps high while calling your name out above the heads of onlooking passerbys before he finally catches your attention and breaks into yet another run

- “Y/N! I’m here, dammit-!” “Shou!”

- collapses into your arms, breathing heavily from that random burst of physical ability that was borderline inhuman as you laugh, lowering him to the floor as he lays in your lap, chest heaving

- “Shouyou, you ran through traffic to get here again, didn’t you-” “I...I still made it...didn’t I?”

- Takes a strand of your hair in his while looking up at you, breathless before chuckling through strained breaths as you worriedly cup his face

- “I hafta be the first one to see your pretty face, you know?”

Kageyama

- Awkward sweetheart definitely made it a point to text you maybe once a week during your vacation, simply asking you how your day was and if you knew when you were coming back from your cruise

- would shrug when people ask him if he missed you, saying a vague “I guess so” when in reality he would sit in the sand by the docks you had left in, just kind of staring out into the ocean while missing you heavily

- it even became a stop in his morning jog omg awhh

- so when he finally worked up the courage to send you the text asking when you were for sure arriving, he fist-pumped the air when you said it would be in the next few days, but the captain manning the ship wasn’t too sure and you might not be able to text him due to bad signal

- Still visited the docks every morning, worry growing when a week passed and you still couldn’t text him back

- On the day following a week, he’s thinking about how much he actually missed you, morning jog dwindling to a walk as he strolls in deep thought, hoping everything was okay

- but when he arrives there’s a boat docked, all passengers seeming to have left already except for a single girl sitting on the dock with her feet in the water, causing him to still in place just as the girl picks up her phone

- he feels a buzz in his pocket, and knows.

- And then he’s running again, the sound of his footsteps causing you to smile as you lift your feet in the water and back onto shore, standing to greet him before he grabs you by the shoulders

- “I was worried! So worried, and you...you couldn’t contact me, and...” “Tobio.”

- visibly relaxes at the way you said his name, simply hanging his head and tugging you tightly into his chest, afraid you would dissappear as you smile softly, feeling the blue-eyed boy quiver slightly in your embrace while tightening his hold on you

- “I’m back, Tobio. I’m back.”

Tsuksihima

- Prideful blondie is way too full of it to text you first during your time away from Japan, but you honestly had hardly any time to text which led to the emergence of Saltyshima at the lack of communication

- “Why don’t you just text Y/N, she’d probably love-” “She’s fine without me, so I should be fine without her.”

- lmao even he knows he doesn’t mean that

- so when you finally text him, he can’t help but grab his phone a little too quickly to see that you had sent him your arriving date, and he can’t help but scoff a little before sending a message he would regret: I’m not coming.

- resists the urge to hit his head against the wall regretfully when you reply back with oh:(

- so low in behold, imagine Tsukishima’s surprise when he finds himself at the train station, hands shoved deeply in his pockets on the day of the event he “wasn’t coming to”

- sighs when your stop pulls up, wondering if he could make this out to be some freak-show coincedence when the doors slide open and passengers file out, his hazel eyes latching onto your familiar head of hair immediately as his chest rises with an emotion he wish he could tame

- and then you walk past him, seemingly absorbed in your phone as Tsukishima blinks, literally not believeing his eyes before fighting the urge to call out to you when his phone buzzes

- I’m in Japan! Can’t wait to see you<3

- Sighs, leaving you on read as he watches you stall in place, signalling you had seen that action before he rolls his eyes, walking behind you while thinking Screw it.

- “Oi. Did you really just walk past me?” “Tsukki...?”

- Eyes widen when you tackle him into a tight hug, burying your face in his chest as you cry a little, Tsukishima staring down at you as if you were some kind of alien before a smirk overtakes his features

- “Someone missed me.” “Of course I did! A-and you said you weren’t coming...”

- Rolls his eyes as he wipes the moisture from your eyes, tilting your head up to meet his stare before he sighs, pulling you into him and resting his chin on top of your head before mumbling lowly

- “Ugh. Turns out I’m not fine without you, so be grateful.”

Yamaguchi

-really misses you, and is the type to look at photos of the two of you before he sleeps, wishing you would come home sooner while brushing off your inquiries off on whether he was doing fine without you

- “Trust me, she’ll love it.” “H-Hinata? Are you sure it’s not too much?”

- Takes his friend’s advice and purchases a big teddy bear, carrying the large stuffed animal with him in both hands as he embarrasedly looks away from all the strange looks he was getting in the airport upon his arrival

- I can’t he gets fuckin lost-

- deadass can’t find what terminal is yours despite your instructions, the large bear skewing his vision definitely not helping so he’s literally wandering the airport half-blind with this big ass teddy bear and a growing frustration of wanting to see you already

- Until he bumps into someone, like lmfao it was bound to happen sending them falling on their ass with a slight oomph

- “I’m so sorry! Are you..” “Way to say you knocked me off my feet, Tadashi.”

- apologizes profusely before setting the bear down, not caring of blocking the walkway before kneeling down at your side, still trying to comprehend that you were there in front of him, in the flesh

- on the bright side he was going the right way

- “Y/N...” as he gently reaches a hand out, retracting it slightly before it can brush against your skin “It feels like it’s been forever-”

- “It’s been months, dummy. Now will you please help me up so I can kiss your stupid freckled face?” as you clasp his hand, Yamaguchi’s eyes beginning to water when your familiar form fits perfectly in his as soon as you’re standing

- you embrace him tightly, the freckled boy realizing just how much he missed you before hugging you back, not realizing that tears were streaming freely down his cheeks like a broken dam as you smile, knowing all the times he brushed you off it was for your sake

- “I’m home, Tadashi.” as he sniffles, muffling the coming sobs into your hair before quivering gently, holding you even closer as if you would leave again

- “I’ve been waiting, Y/N.”

-------------------------

General Works: @savemesteeb @kasandrafaye @yams046 @dreebbles @takemetovalhalla @therestless101 @dai-tsukki-desu @lifeisntjustblackandwhite @curiouslilbeast @wisepandaslimeland @deadontheinsidebut @lmkjimin @h0ngh0ngh0ng @theworldupthere @itz-tooru

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vampiremourning · 3 years ago

Text

more on katerina but this one is markedly Not Safe for workplaces. lmao.

i'm also thinking about kat & subspace lmao. nothing super specific mostly just about how happy & safe she would have to feel to get to that point & the sheer volume of Trust that would need to be built up but god. thinking about how absolutely vulnerable & trusting & adoring the look in her eyes would be has me Fucked Up i tell u ! she's got herself in a little self-imposed castle of touch starvation rn she would be unbelievably physically affectionate in that headspace.

like one of her fave activities is literally just hanging out on the floor w her head in nines' lap just being physically close (and probably getting those good light scratches on her head ghgj you know the ones that give some people asmr lmao). she does not respond to degradation well At All lmfao but praise? whew boy. absolutely melts. i also think she would have like. idk what it’s called. claiming kink? marking kink? whatever the term for it being made clear who she ‘belongs’ to is. she needs to know that she’s wanted.

also she cries. like, frequently ghgjhk but the Good Cathartic sort (9/10 times anyway when the stimuli doesnt trip over an actual trigger whoops). she’s had quite a few partners who didn’t treat her well--weren’t concerned with her wellbeing or what she wanted, or even if she wanted it in the first place. there’s some ptsd there for sure, and it shows up especially earlier on. a lot of 'oh god yes' and then a cold jerk back to reality & consciousness with 'don't touch me' as one does. she's p good now tho gfhgjh just enjoys tapping out mentally and being blissfully unaware of everything for a bit.

so she needs to hear nines say that she’s doing good, that she’s being taken care of, needs him to be safe & solid and Present. loses her mind a bit if physical contact is accidentally broken. it’s about feeling like she can rely on someone to help her feel grounded. (i feel like he's lowkey relieved she's not prickly all the time and can actually become pretty pliant once you know the right buttons to push lmao)

though that said she might not react that sweetly to being teased in public but it's certainly gonna get A Reaction eyes emoji. whispers in the ear, 'accidental' touches, god yeah. she's actually lowkey embarrassed by how easy it is to get her worked up lmao but she's pretty good at keeping composure around people (externally gfhgj)

if the idea is presented enticingly enough she might even be swayed to use some sort of discreet remote controlled devices iykwim. (i think for that one it would have to absolutely not around people either of them knew gfhgjh no one wants to have the awareness of that being an elephant in the room. like i can’t see nines being down for that if they’re gonna be around the coterie because someone will notice and it Will become awkward.)

another thing that driver her absolutely fucking crazy is being pulled into some corner, kissed & felt up in a frenzy and then Stopping abruptly & having to act like nothing happened. rinse and repeat throughout the night for hours of build up and sweet torture & she’s practically in tears, in pieces and begging for it when they’re finally alone.

#oc tag #my writing #katerina irakleidis #vampire the masquerade #this is stitched together from a larger conversation lmao so maybe a bit incoherent #but yeah #she Can absolutely top btw its just when she feels safe in a relationship she won't by default

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rudysrings · 4 years ago

Text

Twin Pogues of the OBX - 8

A/N: i forgot to queue this up because i fell into the wormhole of minecraft LMFAO pls forgive me...also this part is a lil all over the place and i realize i need to hurtty it up with the plot bc i’m only on episode 3 but it’s hard when writing more interactions with the characters is so much fun

Warnings: Underage smoking, mature/sexual themes, cursing, angst and fluff at the same time

Word Count: 2.5k

Masterlist

The pogues had successfully obtained the drone from the salvage yard, which had been no easy task (you had heard the entire story from Kiara that morning, who insisted that the boys were incapable of carrying out even the simplest of plans).

You took out the HMS Pogue that morning, just outside the dock so that Pope could work out how to use the drone.

Pope had arrived very early in the morning, having snuck out before Papa Heyward could rise, and he immediately threw an arm over JJ, who was helping you and John B get the boat out on the water.

You saw them whisper quietly, Pope gesturing towards his clothes and JJ brushing him off, clearly trying to just make a joke to get a laugh out of him. Eventually, JJ pulled Pope’s cap over his head and walked away, joining you and your brother.

Once Kiara found her way to the Chateau, she and your brother dove in, so that Pope could search for them using the drone.

“What’s this?” JJ asked, his fingers extending towards one of the many dizzying buttons on the flight monitor for the drone.

Pope slapped his hand away instantly. “Don’t touch that.” He noticed your fingers approaching the monitor, too, your restless and curious hands unable to help themselves. Sighing, he turned to you, his face puckered so irritably you worried for his digestion. “What did I just say?” He turned back to the screen as you dropped your hands to your sides, giving JJ a look that said Sheesh. “I’m trying to work out this thing.”

John B and Kiara treaded water in front of the monitor and you smiled. “Hey Kie, flash us why don’tcha?”

JJ giggled and Pope rolled his eyes. “She’s underwater, genius. She can’t hear a damn thing you’re saying.”

“God bless geeks Pope, truly man,” said JJ, looking impressed.

You nodded. “Yeah, what would we do without you to control the drones?”

Pope pursed his lips. “It’s not a drone; it’s an ROV—”

“Shut up. Shut UP,” grumbled JJ, overlooking the water as Kiara and your brother resurfaced. “It’s too early for that right now.”

“Hey, once we get footage of the Wreck, we’ll bring it to a lawyer in town and file a formal claim,” John B said as Pope explained maritime salvage law.

The words were familiar to you—things your dad had always repeated, convinced the information would come in handy at some point. Guess he was right, after all.

Kiara looked at your brother, her eyebrows pulled together in confusion; he was spouting information that would usually go way over his head, given he only had a brain cell or two (max) to work with. “How do you know all of that?”

“‘Cause our dad said it like a million times,” you answered for him, JJ turning to look at you as you kept your eyes forward.

As Pope began discussing how the length of the tether required dead calm weather to pull this off, you tuned out, lost in thought. You didn’t like being obvious; you didn’t like everyone knowing that even the slight mention of your dad had you spiraling, but you could feel JJ’s gaze on you and you knew you weren’t subtle.

You felt warmth in your hand, felt it instantly travel up your arm and thaw at your chest. You looked down to see JJ’s ring-clad hand interlaced with your own, a gesture of silent comfort. The action was soft, out of character for him, but you couldn’t deny that it helped...a lot. You gulped, refusing to meet his eyes, but giving his hand a silent squeeze, conveying that you didn’t want him to let go. And he didn’t. He held on silently, out of sight from the rest of the pogues.

One look at the darkening clouds and clearly growing storm had you guys deciding to go at slack tide on a day when the weather was quieter.

Kiara mentioned that she had to get back to the Wreck and Pope said he had to go back to Heyward’s.

“If I don’t split now, my ass is grass.” He gave you and JJ a group hug, somehow sensing the weird emotional vulnerability in the air. You kissed him on the cheek, whispering a quick thanks before pulling away.

John B went with Pope without another word, presumably to gather more of the practical stuff for what you all had planned for later.

JJ turned to you, visibly awkward as he shuffled his feet. Unused to this novel tension between the two of you, you blurted out. “Want a quick smoke?”

JJ shook his head disapprovingly, walking back over to the dock.

You followed him, his back turned to you as he stared out at the water. “You think it’s really out there?”

“The gold?”

“No, the loch ness monster.”

“JJ you should know that the loch ness is just an old sailor—”

“Of course the gold, Y/N!”

You paused, before walking forward, sidling up next to him and leaning your arms on the railings.

You played with JJ's ring on your thumb, which he noticed, an unmistakable smile in his eyes. “I didn’t believe it until yesterday.”

“But you believe now?”

“I’m not really big on faith, JJ.”

“Don’t I know it,” he grumbled.

You whipped your head towards him. “What? What’s that supposed to mean?”

Without another word, JJ’s hand pushed at your lower back, the other at the back of your neck to pull your face into his. He paused just centimeters away, clearly fighting for control. “Can I?”

You couldn’t help the word that blurted out of your mouth like a pathetic whimper. “Please.”

It didn’t seem to bother him. JJ closed the distance between your lips, and the now familiar sensation had you grasping at his hair, his shirt, his arm, anything, anything to try and ground yourself in this moment because the feeling of his mouth on yours had you worried you would float off into oblivion.

It wasn’t like yesterday, because this time, JJ was prepared. He was aggressive, as if he was trying to get everything out of this right here, right now, because he feared there was no chance he would get to do it again.

He got you to open your mouth for him, deepening the kiss. When his hand slipped down to your ass, he pulled away, looking at you in question. “Do you wanna…?” He let the question hang in the air, his eyes not leaving yours.

You nodded immediately, pushing out any rational thought. How could you think rationally when he was touching you like that, kissing you like that?

Grabbing the backs of your thighs, JJ whispered, “Then jump, Trouble.”

You did, allowing him to secure your legs around his hips. You didn’t look at him, opting to brush your nose along his ear as he carried you into the Chateau. You felt him shiver and smiled against his neck, pressing a chaste kiss there.

JJ entered your room, closing the door and locking it with a flick of his wrist. He set you down, making sure to drag you down his front.

You didn’t look at his face; you couldn’t. While you may have thrown rational thought out the window, you knew your hard limits. You let out a nervous laugh. “This, uh...this is a one time thing, Maybank.” You quickly flicked your eyes to his. “Doesn’t mean anything.”

JJ didn’t say anything, bringing a finger to lift your chin up to look at him head on. He was challenging you and you knew it. Even without you saying a word, he saw right through you. He could see you were scared. Fear was a look he thought he’d never see on the face of the most dauntless, intrepid person he’d ever met. But he was seeing it now, and he was taken aback by how much it affected him. JJ hated this look on you. It tugged at his severe and sometimes problematic protectiveness, but he didn’t know how to protect you from himself. He wanted nothing more than to give you the biggest hug, but instead he looked at you. Just looked.

It was a moment or two before you got impatient and said. “What? You get it, right?” He nodded and you took that as affirmation, wrapping your arms around your neck and attempting to bring him towards you.

JJ stopped you, hands dropping from your body. You looked up at him while he looked at the ground. When his eyes met yours, they were rimmed with red and your heart sped up, both in confusion and concern. “Please don’t ask me for this.”

You grabbed his wrist. “JJ, what?”

“I know we’ve never really talk about it.” He swallowed hard and you watched his Adam's apple bob against his throat. “But I think you know.”

He was talking about his feelings for you. Yeah, you knew. But hearing him basically confirm it shocked you to your core. Still, you mustered up the ability to nod softly.

He continued. “I have given you everything I can, Trouble. Except…” he gestured at the space between you two. “Except this. If I give you that right now...and you get up and go, like I know you will. If it means nothing to you, then there will be nothing left in me.” You let go of JJ’s wrist. You could tell this was very difficult for him to admit, his hands shaking and his eyes restless as he kept looking around the room.

“J—” You started.

“—No, listen, Y/N. I’m begging you not to ask me for this. Because I think we both know that if you ask...I won’t say no.”

You nodded, trying to ignore the way your heart cracked and fluttered at the same time, trying to keep any emotion off of your face. “Right, well,” you looked anywhere but at him, your eyes finally settling on the doorway behind him. “I..I should go..I think Kiara asked me to stop by the Wreck and help her with...something.” You had never been able to lie to JJ, and he had always called you out on it when you tried.

“Y/N—”

You shook your head. “I’ll see you later, JJ.”

You didn’t give him time to say anything else, running out of your room and out of the Chateau, only pausing briefly to grab the keys to the van, flinching at the sound of a fist hitting wood and JJ’s resounding. “FUCK!”

You plastered a smile on your face as you entered the wreck, shooting the bartender your signature grin. That grin was always your bait. It usually got you anything you wanted.

The rather pretty bartender smiled shyly back, her cheeks flushing slightly under your blinding smile. “Is Kiara around?”

She stuttered. “Oh! Ah, y-yeah, I’ll uh, I’ll just go get h-her…”

Hook, line and sinker.

Kiara came out from the back, rolling her eyes once she saw it was you. Grabbing your hand, she brought you through a side exit, slapping your hand away when you tried to grab a fry from some touron customer.

“You gonna keep flirting with our employees, Y/N?”

You shrugged as she led you right outside the Wreck, leaning against the side of the building and facing you. “I mean if you keep hiring such attractive employees, then I can’t help it.”

Kiara rolled her eyes...again. “If you keep doing that, they’re gonna get stuck like that and then we’re going to need an exorcist, which none of us can afford and Pope would scare away with some random forensics fact.”

Kiara shoved at your shoulder and then passed you a joint from her pocket.

You snatched it instantly and she smiled. “You looked like you needed that.”

“What do you mean?” You asked, pulling out your lighter from your bra. It instantly reminded you of JJ, the two of you having gotten matching ones engraved with your names. It reminded you of how you always felt bound by no law when you were with him and you were quick to light your joint and tuck the lighter away.

Kiara raised her eyebrows, crossing her arms. “Are you kidding me? You haven’t looked straight at me for more than a second!”

You took a hit of the joint, letting the drug fill your lungs and hoping it would swiftly calm your running mind. “It’s a beautiful world, Kie. Just tryna take it all in.” you shrugged. “That’s not to say you’re not beautiful; I mean, you know how gorgeous I think you are, but you closed that door on me so this is on you.”

Kiara furrowed her brows at your nonsensical words, taking notice of your right foot, which was tapping incessantly. She plucked the joint from your hand and took an inhale herself, ignoring your protests and curses.

“Is it JJ?” She asked.

“What about JJ?”

Kiara groaned, dropping the joint to the ground and snuffing it out, hands on her hips. “Gosh, why do you have to be this difficult? You make girl talk feel like torture!”

Playing innocent, you said, “Girls? You wanna talk about girls? I can talk about them all day. Short girls, tall girls, girl’s with big eyes, girls with big—”

Kiara slapped you over the head. “Shut your damn mouth.”

You opened your mouth to make a quip, but she put her hand over it, stopping you. You raised your eyebrows at her suggestively and she looked fearful. “No! Don’t you dare!”

Too late. Shrieking, Kiara took her hand back, yakking on air at the sensation of your tongue on her palm.

Once she calmed down from her dramatics, she put a hand on your shoulder. “Look, if you’re reacting like this, it has to be JJ—”

“I—”

“—No, shut the fuck up and let me speak, god damn it!” Grumbling, you let her carry on. “Whatever happened, get it through that thick head of yours that it’s nothing that can’t be undone or at least, nothing the two of you can’t get over because y’all are stronger than some silly misunderstanding or argument or whatever. You’re family if I’ve ever seen it.”

You softened at her words, eyes finally settling on hers. You let yourself slip, giving in to her kind voice and maternal embrace. “I hope you’re right, Kie.”

Even Kiara looked surprised at your lack of a joke or brush off. “Oh, Y/N,” she cooed, pulling you into her arms.

You stayed for a second, before shoving her off and making a joke about how she had rejected you only to string you along further and that she should stop with the mixed feelings.

Kiara gave a soft smile at your behavior, which she could see right through, but didn’t comment, knowing you wouldn’t react well. She simply wrapped an arm around your waist and stayed with you. You began to think that’s all you needed—for someone to stay.

Masterlist

Tag List (If there is a strike through your user it’s bc I couldn’t tag you bc tumblr is wack sometimes…)

@hurricane-abigail @omigodyall @timotaychalabae @kaelyn-lobrutto24@caswinchester2000 @meghanisdeadinside @harrysbbby @official-maddibrown @xdelicates@maybebanks@yourwonderbelle @treestarrrrrrrr @loco-latte@sspidermanss@theradvibes @eviction-notice-no666@screamingnewsies @the-fandom-life-forever @dolanfivsosxox@vibin-n-thrivin @em-aesthe @the-real-jort @riverdaleserpent04@free-pool-trash @mileven-reddie @drewswannabegirl@queen1054 @eternalharry@alwayshopelesss @superqalifragilistik@smileyxdolans@fangirling-all-day @dianaillusion@catonthesideoftheroad @darling-im-not-okay-i-promise @thelovelydreamer17 @http-cherries @pit-zuh @kisssmefree @starryblueeyesandstarryblueskies @outerbankstings @oliviadrake1 @pancakefancake @haharudy @truthdaze

I’m also kind of new to tagging and rlly bad at it so if something is wrong, I’m sorry and pls let me know and I’ll try my best to fix it!

I also lost my updated tag list i’m so dumb so let me know if I told you i would tag you and i didn’t oop

Stay safe and stay healthy!

#jj maybank x reader #jj maybank #outer banks #outer banks fanfiction #jj #jj maybank x you #jj x you #obx #jj x reader #john b x twin!sister!reader #john b x twinsister!reader #john b routledge #john b #john b x reader #john b x sister!reader #jj maybank x fem!reader #jj maybank x female reader #obx rewrite #obx series

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cazziamo · 5 years ago

Text

Runaway [8]

requested: no lol

group/member: EXO/ Baekhyun

word count: 5.9k

summary: All it takes is being at the wrong place, at the wrong time for you to be dragged back into the world you had tried so hard to leave behind.

[a/n]: aaaaaand i’m finally back lmfao so to make a long story short i rlly have no idea where this story is going so i just kinda write?? and whatever happens happens and well,,,,,,, this happened. unedited bc we die like men also i’ve had no sleep

warnings: violence, mentions of drug/drug use (marijuana), alcohol, smut (finally bitches)

When you say the boys bickered the entire way to the fair, you meant the entire way. Baekhyun was being as annoying as ever, teasing both you and your brother constantly. You were used to it but Tae was not, and the fact that his temper may have been quicker than yours started to show. Everything you said just seemed to make it worse, so you decidedly kept your mouth shut for most of the walk, but there was no stopping the grin on your face.

"And just what are you grinning at?" Your brother whipped his head towards you, lifting his hand to push at your forehead. "Wipe it off your face, you look dumb."

"I just missed you." You said, a little surprised at your own tone. "I haven't seen you in a while and so much has changed again recently that it's good to do something... normal, y'know?" You ignored the way your brother side-eyed you for a moment, the corners of his lips tugging down into a frown. He didn't say anything, but you knew it was enough to clue him in. He'd always been too smart for his own good.

"You said we had a lot to talk about." Tae said it bluntly, not asking you in any way. He stopped walking and turned to face you directly with furrowed brows. You stopped also, but with much more hesitance than he had, grateful that the streets had emptied out and there were hardly any people near you. "Is it what I think it is?"

"...yeah." You answered honestly, keeping your eyes locked on his. "But it's not exactly how you're thinking it-"

"I don't care how different it is, you promised!" He hissed angrily, grabbing at the sleeves of your jacket. "You promised me no more, that you were done-"

"I was!" You yelled. Baekhyun, who was being strangely silent, began to look around, and so you made sure to quiet yourself. "I was done, but I didn't have a choice this time. I would have been killed." You explained in as little words as possible, hoping that your brother would let it go for now. "That's why I said we had to talk about it, but can we have just a couple of good hours together before we go back and deal with this shit? Please?"

The tendons in your brother's neck jumped as he grit his teeth, jerking his body to the side, where his eyes landed on Baekhyun. "And how is he involved?"

"Later, please." You hated how exhausted you sounded, how 'emotionally tired' practically dripped from your words. But it was enough that your brother seemingly let it go, his shoulders sagging with the long exhale he gave. Without another word he turned and continued walking, leaving you behind. Baekhyun came around to your side and nudged you forward, looping his arm back around your shoulders. Your brother hadn't gone too far ahead, having stopped to wait for you guys at the corner, but once he saw you two were following he continued on his way. It was reassuring that he was still going to the fair with you, and hopefully it meant that he would be just as forgiving later when you actually explained. If he wanted nothing to do with you, then he would have already been gone. He's always been the type to stick to his guns, whether the people involved were strangers, friends, or family.

"You don't have to stay while we talk later." Baekhyun didn't look your way after you spoke, and for a moment you were worried you had spoken too lowly.

"Do you want me too?" He asked in response, again not looking your way at all, and somehow that bothered you. You still didn't understand why he was acting so differently around you, and you knew that there was no merit in what he told you earlier. Of course he had been teasing you, because who admitted to a crush so casually after so little time knowing that person? And in public in broad daylight?

You weren't a virgin by any means, but your actual romantic experience was next to nothing. Your parents had never had a good relationship so there were no early examples to draw from, and the older you got the less of a chance you had to find something for yourself. If it hadn't been for the fact that you were forced to go to extreme lengths for your family, then maybe you would have, but it was hard to have crushes when you're surrounded predominantly by older, mean, ruthless men and a whole lot of bloodshed. There were one night stands all the time, so it wasn't that you were unsatisfied, but you didn't know how to tell genuine interest from anything else.

As far as you knew, Baekhyun could just be wanting to keep an eye on you, make sure you wouldn't try to bail, or he was trying to get close to you to convince you to give up the key. He was just invested because of his pride, not because he actually wanted you. There had been too many incidents, too many accidents and 'I didn't mean it's and altercations because you had been dumb enough to trust a man in your line of work.

Even still, you found yourself answering Baek with "No." You wet your lips and couldn't help but bite onto your bottom one anxiously. "I would honestly feel better if you stayed, I guess."

"Then I stay." His answer came quick, and his voice was firm when he said it, like he wasn't going to change his mind for anything. He stopped walking and used the arm on your shoulder to stop you also, turning to face you. "Don't worry about that for now, anyway." He reached upwards and pushed your hair back, lifting his other hand to smooth the frizz down at the top, before leaving them resting on your cheeks. Either you were beginning to blush or his hands were just very, very warm. "We're gonna go to this carnival, have some fun, get some food, and then figure it out as we go, so get stepping." He turned you to face forward again and shoved you lightly, making sure to fall in line with you after. It was enough to make you laugh, deciding to do as he says and just deal with everything as it happens instead of ruining the time out by stressing. Besides, who knew when you would be able to leave the hideout like this again, so it was better to just take advantage of it.

By that time, you guys could finally see the fair at the corner, and the awkward form of your brother leaning against the gates of the entrance. He had already bought his wristband and had it looped loosely around his right wrist, his left hand fiddling with his phone. As the two of you hurried over to join him, Tae stood fully, shoving his hand roughly into his pocket to pull something out.

"Here," His hand shot out towards the two of you before you were even fully there, and you saw two more wristbands dangling from his hand. "Hurry up, I want to ride the Zipper first." Without another word, he turned and went through the gates, flashing his wristband when the attendant tried to stop him. You moved quickly after him, fastening the wristband around yourself as you darted through the gates, Baekhyun close behind on your heels.

The lines weren't too bad tonight, and you guys were able to quickly get on the rides that you wanted. True to your word from earlier, you sat next to your brother on almost all of the rides and Baekhyun didn't say a word about it, just settling himself in the carts behind you or even skipping the ride altogether. He claimed that the Zipper would make him way too nauseous and resorted to being the bag man of the trip, to which your brother certainly wasn't complaining. Tae would just pile his jacket into Baek's arms and throw his little backpack at him before getting into line without a word. You knew that he was just giving you and your brother the time together, and you really were thankful for him letting you out. You didn't know if you two would be in trouble with Suho later, but hopefully once the two explained everything he would let you off easy.

The three of you rode most of the rides there (thanks to the wristbands) and played quite a few games in between, which is where Baekhyun really became useful. It came to the point where you couldn't even see Baekhyun's hair over the pile of giant stuffed animals in his arms, of which only two were yours. The other few of them belonged to your brother, who surprisingly had very good aim (it must have run in the family). Tae seemed to be enjoying himself well enough, your usually rather stoic brother cracking more than a few grins throughout the night. It was nice to have the time with him, and the longer you spent out, the less you minded Baekhyun being there with you.

It was after you caught your brother stifling his third yawn in about twenty minutes that you made the suggestion to leave. He blinked at you with bleary eyes and agreed with you, and it was then that you felt the anxiety begin to bubble in your stomach. Grabbing a few of the stuffed animals from Baekhyun, the three of you left the park and headed towards the train station; your brother lived only two stops away from where he worked, which was one of the reasons why he liked the job. He said it was a pain to find work somewhere else since everywhere else was too far, but you had the sneaky suspicion your brother just liked the tips he would get from the university girls.

Usually anxiety made you feel like everything was moving at a snails pace, slow and steady to the point you felt like you would go insane before anything happened. Today, it felt like everything was sped up, like someone had pressed the nitro boost on the train to make it accelerate at an alarming rate. Things were moving too fast for you, and you were scrambling to make a plan for when you spoke to your brother, but your brain was too overcrowded with worst case scenarios and blow out arguments to even start. The two stops passed fast enough that you felt you had only just sat down, and then a few blurry moments later your brother was putting his code in for the door to his apartment. He kicked off his shoes at the door and left them where they landed, trudging in to plop onto his armchair. You followed behind him, taking the time to put his sneakers on the rack and placing yours neatly by the edge before following him into the living room, Baekhyun right behind you.

As you situated yourself on the side of the couch closest to your brother, he began to speak. "So, please, enlighten me as to how everything is different this time, and how the bozo on your left is involved."

Baekhyun huffed indignantly but otherwise stayed silent, wisely redirecting his attention somewhere else. You ran a hand through your hair, mussing it up before flopping it back down to your lap, huffing yourself. "It's different this time because I didn't have a choice, Tae. I didn't even go willingly this time, I was knocked out and taken. Saw something I wasn't supposed to, and the option was do as they said or die. If I'm being honest, I told them to just kill me, but then the asshole just smirked at me and told one of his guys to take me to my room. And then some people from Owls showed up at my apartment and shot the place up and that's how I got sucked back in." You weren't sure how much you had actually breathed while spitting that out, and if how you were panting was anything to judge by, you didn't think you had. "And then I got used as bait and we took down the guys who were trying to kill me but then they said that they knew you and I didn't have a choice, Tae. I did what I had to."

Your brother was completely silent while you spoke, only blowing a strand of hair out of his eyes when you had finished. "And him?" He asked, jutting his chin towards Baekhyun.

"I was the one who brought her in." Baek spoke before you could, and effectively telling your brother the one thing you wouldn't have mentioned. "I had a deal outside of her apartment building, and she came home right in the middle of it. She put up a good fight, but I got her and now here we are."

You shifted nervously, picking at the fabric of your pants with eyes that flickered back and forth between Baekhyun and your brother. Your brother leaned forward and rested his elbows on his knees, running his hands through his hair and messing it up. "So you're the reason we're going through this shit again?" He huffed, standing up straight out of the chair. He only took a few steps forward, but everything about him screamed that he was a second from snapping. "You-" His voice was raising and he aggressively pointed at Baekhyun, stepping close enough this time that his fingertip was inches away from Baekhyun's face. "You are the reason that everything has gone to shit again?"

Baekhyun's face was steeled- a dangerous sort of calm as he reached up and moved your brothers hand out of face. "Yeah."

The hand that Baekhyun had moved away suddenly curled into a fist and flashed forward so quickly you would have missed it if not for your hyper vigilance in the tense atmosphere. Baekhyun's head had snapped backwards, one arm reaching backwards to steady himself on the back of the couch and the other flinging forward to grab onto your brothers shirt. He pushed himself off of the couch with his legs and used his momentum to shove Tae backwards. Tae tripped over the coffee table and fell backwards, Baekhyun quickly getting on top of him. Baek's knees were on your brothers forearms and he was sitting on his chest to keep him pinned. Your brain finally kicked in and you lunged off the couch, throwing yourself across the table to tackle Baekhyun off of him, and as soon as Baek's weight was gone, your brother rolled over and got up, swinging at Baek again.

"Tae, stop!" You yelled, trying to grab his arms, but he shook you off roughly and went after Baekhyun again and again. Grabbing his arms again, you tried to pin them behind his back but he shoved you this time, sending you crashing into the table.

"You motherfucker!" Tae screamed, throwing his leg out to kick Baekhyun in his side, who managed to grab his leg and yank him to the floor, rolling on top of him again. "You fucking asshole, do you have any idea what you've done?" He bucked and threw Baekhyun off of him, shooting up onto his knees to drive an elbow into Baekhyun's chest. The two continued to grapple on the floor until you had finally had enough, anxiety and adrenaline and upset all bubbling forward until you abruptly sat on the couch and burst into tears.

Your brother was just venting, and you knew it, but for some reason you couldn't focus on anything other than the fact that despite all of the attacks on him, Baekhyun had yet to retaliate against your brother even once. Every move he had made towards Tae was purely of defense and attempts to pin him, and it showed you a different side of Baekhyun. Maybe you were being self-centered in the whole situation, thinking things were because of you when they probably weren't, trying to make yourself into a victim when you most likely didn't have a right to be, but there was a part of you that believed Baekhyun was trying to spare you as much in the situation as possible.

And the situation was one that honestly scared you, and wondered where your brother had been keeping all of this rage and sadness bottled up inside of him. He was screaming about the times before and how things had been so, so good, and it broke your heart. You knew he wouldn't ever turn out the way you had, that he wouldn't make the same rash decisions you had at his age, but watching him throw perfectly formed punches with a brutal amount of force behind them made you think about the circumstances in which he had learned them.

The two stopped almost immediately, both freezing in place before turning to look at you. Your brother managed to scramble over first, fixing his hair with one hand and using the other to awkwardly pat your shoulder.

"You two are such assholes!" You blubbered, gesturing vaguely between the two of them. "This- this isn't what I wanted, I just wanted you not to hate me and cut me off and-"

"I don't hate you." Your brother rushed out, almost slurring his words with how fast he tried to speak. "And I'm not gonna cut you off or anything so just- just don't do that." He gestured to your face, cringing away from you after. "Just don't cry, I don't know how to handle people crying."

So you cried more. "I didn't have a choice, Tae, they knew where you lived!"

"I know, I know." He frantically tried to soothe you. "I'm not mad at you, I just don't want things to be like before-"

"I didn't have a choice then either, Tae! Neither of them were working and we were starting to get eviction threats, for Christ's sake. I did what I had to!"

"You left me-"

"They threw me out! Beat the shit out of me and then threw me on the streets in the middle of the fucking night." Your voice broke again, and it was then that Baekhyun slumped down on your other side, his arm finding its way onto your hunched back, his thumb gliding gently. "I was fifteen, too young for a real job and no where else to go. I didn't have a choice, Tae. I just did what I could to make shit work." There was a long pause after you finished, the silence of the room filled with your shaky breathing and sniffles.

"Well, it didn't." He finally said. His voice was harsh and firm and he turned to glare down at you, lips pursed like he had something more to say. Instead of speaking, he just licked his lips and huffed, turning on his heel and walking down the hallway, leaving you and Baekhyun in the wavering silence of the living room. Wavering because you were trying to pull it together, to turn the sobbing into silence, relapsing back into cries every couple of tries. Baekhyun was still being quiet, not getting too close as you worked through your shit, and eventually you had pulled it together enough to speak clearly.

"I guess that's our cue to show ourselves out." You said with a shaky voice, rubbing the palms of your hands against your legs before patting them and standing.

He reached out and grabbed one of your hands, cupping it in both of his before grabbing the other one and covering it. "You're shaking," He murmured, sounding like he was talking more to himself than he was to you.

You shifted your weight awkwardly, pulling your hands from him and shoving them into your jacket pockets. "Can we just go already?" You whined, already moving towards the door. He trailed after you, putting his shoes on halfway before following you out of the door and fixing them as he went. He came up behind you and tried to pull your hand out of your pocket, but you yanked yourself away from him and quickened your pace, eager to get home and sleep and forget about all of this as soon as possible.

______________________________________________________________

A few hours, a good cry, and a fat nap later, you found yourself waking up in the near middle of the night. You had skipped dinner after your explanation to Suho (who looked like a disappointed father when you returned) and went right to your room, and you could feel the effects of not eating coiling in your stomach after so long. Still in your clothes from earlier, you stumbled out of your room and headed towards the kitchen.

The light was already on in there, and the sliding door that lead to the smoking room was open a few inches. You ignored it, pouring yourself a glass of water and heating it up in the microwave for some tea. Rummaging around in the fridge yielded nothing but leftovers and small snacks, so you settled for kimchi and cold fried rice, eating while your tea steeped. It wasn't until you had shoveled your first large bite of mixed food into your mouth that you heard the muffled cursing from the room beside you. Cheeks still puffed from the food, you stood and made your way over to the door and peeked in.

You were surprised to see Baekhyun sitting there, an open bottle of whiskey and a tall glass filled halfway with the said drink next to him. He was fiddling with something in his hands, and as you opened the door wilder and walked in, you realized he was running his lighter down a barely lit joint.

"Damn," He hissed, putting it out before attempting to relight it, and even from where you were standing, you could see how his form hunched in the chair and how his hands were shaking. He hadn't even noticed you were in the room yet, showing you just how smashed he was, so you walked over to him and snatched the joint from him, setting it in between your lips and pulling to light it. After you exhaled the smoke and checked to make sure it wasn't canoeing like before, you passed it back to him. He took it and immediately inhaled deeply, exhaling through his nose before hitting it again and passing it back to you.

"What are you doing, Baek?" You asked him quietly. "I thought I was the one with midnight breakdowns around here."

He laughed humorlessly, a quick scoff that made you sit straight. "I needed everything to stop for a little while." He replied, taking a long swig of his drink. "Was too loud." He mumbled.

You reached over and took the bottle, dragging it to your side of the coffee table before taking a long sip, wincing from the burn after. "Wanna talk about it?" You ashed the joint and passed it back to him, but your only answer was a long groan as a soft thud as his head hit the table.

"I fuck up everything in sight." He whined, lifting his head just enough to take a long puff before setting it back down again. "No matter where I go, I fuck things up so I feel good and then it bites me in the ass later."

"What'd you do this time?" You asked, barely managing to hide the amusement in your voice, although any that you felt was immediately squashed after he spoke next.

"You." He moaned miserably, burying his head in his arms. You didn't know how to answer and just decided not to, watching the ashes fall from the end of the paper and flutter to the floor. "I've never had to deal with this shit before. Anyone I've brought in, I've never been close to like this. I didn't just see what I did to you, but I had to face your brother and see what I did to him too. And I can't fix any of it, can't do a damn thing about it."

"Why is it bothering you so much, Baek?" You leaned over and placed your hand on his head, threading your fingers through his soft hair and running your hand through it to soothe him. "I'm not mad anymore, I've accepted it."

'Because I have big feelings for you. I don't wanna name them yet because that shit scares me, but I do." His free hand reached upwards to cover yours on his head, stilling it. He didn't turn to look at you, but somehow you got the feeling that he wasn't as smashed as you had thought.

"What feelings?" You surprised yourself by asking.

"Sappy shit." He spat out, sounding almost angry. "I like your face, but I like your smile more. I like your eyes and your stupid nose and your witch cackle laugh and the weird snort you sometimes do when you try not to laugh. I like how much you like penguins and sharks and how loyal and strong you are. I like how hard you've worked to take car of your brother, and how you're trying to take care of me now. I like how excited you get when you talk about shit you like because you're just so fucking cute sometimes that it disgusts me, and then I get disgusted by how much I like liking you. It shouldn't be like this but it is and I know shit won't go anywhere because I fucked your life up again, and it doesn't matter if you don't hate me for it because I already hate myself." He rambled on and on, stopping only once to take another insanely long drag of the joint, followed by an even longer swig of his whiskey, draining the glass.

"I'm only gonna say this straight because of how drunk you are, it's kind of hard to get embarrassed." You smiled, reaching with your other hand to take the joint from him and place it down in the ashtray. You pulled both of his hands away from himself, pulling him into a straight sitting position and locking eyes with him. "I'm pretty sure I like you too. You annoy me but it's only because the things you say make me embarrassed, and I hate how I can't react the way I want to around you. My heart does fucking flips in my chest and I feel like throwing up all of time because I'm stuck between wanting to touch you and wanting to stay away so I didn't catch these feelings, but obviously it didn't work, because here we are."

" 'M drunk," He whispered, slurring his words slightly. His eyes were cast aside, avoiding yours as best as she could, so you grabbed him by the cheeks and forced him to look at you.

"You are, but that doesn't mean this isn't real." He leaned into your palms, turning his head to the side to press a light kiss to your hand.

You laughed lightly, starting to draw your hands back. Baekhyun followed your movements, rising on wobbly legs to lean over the coffee table towards you, slumping clumsily towards you. His forehead knocked into yours harshly and he lost balance, nearly falling on top of you, but you were quick enough to steady him and laughed breathlessly. His eyes were closed, his breath warm as his god damn whiskey breath smacked you in the face, but the tension in the air was enough that you ignored it, moving your eyes from his closed ones to his lips, and you decided to hurry up and just do it, surging upwards to close the gap.

His reaction was instantaneous- his arms flying up to your back, one of them sliding upwards to wind itself tightly into your hair. His mouth slotted sloppily over yours, using his hand in your hair to angle your head to deepen the kiss. He stepped around the small coffee table, managing not to lose contact with your body, instead pressing himself against you. The space between you two was minimal, reduced to nothing as he absolutely dominated the kiss. It was hot and heavy and aggressive, like a stretched out rubber band that was about to snap at any moment.

Baekhyun spun your bodies around, taking up where you had previously been sitting on the chair and yanking you down onto his lap. The hand in your hair tightened, pulling your head back sharply and breaking the kiss, allowing Baekhyun the room to mouth hotly at you neck, pressing open mouthed kisses and laving his tongue down to your clavicle before moving back upwards to bite down near your pulse point. You keened, moaning airily at the sensations. Your hand flew upwards, grappling at his shoulder to find purchase, to steady yourself in the too fast and too intense situation.

The hand wrapped around your waist slinked lower, his hand coming down to palm your ass, gripping it roughly before moving back to your waist, pulling your hips down to grind harshly into his. You were turned on enough at this point that the smallest bit of pressure sent your nerves haywire, and feeling his already hard length pressing into you sent your body up in flames. Your breath hitched, choking on the groan that rose in your throat, and you could feel the vibrations on your neck from Baekhyun's satisfied hum.

"So eager already." He murmured, pulling back from you to stare at you with hazy eyes. His hands never stopped moving, one moving back to your ass and the other trailing to your front to palm your heat through your jeans. His hands would fiddle with he button of your jeans before trailing down to your center, putting pressure against you as he dragged his hand back upwards again to the button. "Want me to touch you, baby?"

"Yes," you breathed, shuddering on his lap. "Please, Baekhyun."

He hummed, flicking open the button and pulling down your zipper far enough that his hand fit in, and he wasted no time in touching you. His fingers dragged roughly over your panties before finding the edges, wiggling his hand past the band and right onto your soaked mound. "So wet, so hot." He said, fingers gliding across your clit with ease, sending you bucking into him. "Want you so much, wanna bend you over this table and fuck you stupid right here."

You groaned , placing your hands behind you on Baekhyun's knees to steady yourself, leaning back to there was more room between the two of you. He started to tug at the waistband of your jeans, and you lifted off of his lap so he could tug them down for you. He was frenzied now, moving so quickly that he didn't bother taking your pants all the way off, leaving the jeans and panties dangling from one of your ankles. Instead of sitting back on his lap, he flipped you over and pinned your body to the couch, stuffing two fingers inside of you.

Your hips bucked, forcing Baekhyun to put his hands on your hips and push to keep you still. A long, feral moan tore from your throat, one arm flying into his hair to grip tightly. His fingers were long and thin, reaching deeper parts of you that you could never reach yourself, and as he crooked his fingers inside of you, you felt like you were melting into the couch.

"Please," You begged, voice breathy and words slurred almost to the point of in-coherency. "Please, Baek, need more." You groaned, attempting to roll your hips into his. He didn't respond, opting to move instead. Without a word, he slid his body down yours until his face was directly in front of your sopping heat, and you watched him lick his lips once before diving in.

The second his lips wrapped around your clit and sucked your body caved in on itself, body twitching at the sudden over-stimulation. His fingers were thrusting in and out of you at a rapid pace, his wrist flicking skillfully to drag them along your inner walls in rhythm with his swirling tongue. He was eating you like a man starved, and had you not been so many sheets to the wind, you might've been embarrassed at the obscene noises the two of you were making.

Your body shuddered, walls fluttering over his fingers as he pushed you closer to the edge. You whined desperately, writhing on the couch underneath his onslaught. "Gonna come on my fingers, baby?" Baekhyun suddenly sat up onto his knees, putting more force behind his hand. "I want you to, wanna see you dripping all over my hand, wanna see your face all fucked out underneath me. Would you like that, baby?" Moaning loudly, you nodded frantically, eyes screwed shut. You could feel the pressure building, the coil in your stomach burning bright red with the heat you were feeling You just needed one good push, just a little more to send you over the edge, and Baekhyun didn't disappoint. His other hand trailed upwards from where it had been occupied with your breasts, up to your throat where it curled around it, fingers squeezing with just enough pleasure to have your head tipping back and hips stuttering.

Everything was building up, it was reaching a peak so intense that it almost scared you. You had never felt like this before, not this fast, and most certainly not just from someones fingers. His thumb rubbing on your clit, his fingers hitting all the right spots inside you, and his had wrapped around your throat was finished off by his single word. "Cum." And you did. You did so strongly that you swear you blacked out for a moment, eyes squeezed shut tightly enough that white exploded behind them, Your body arched higher than it had before, shuddering and twitching as he continued his onslaught, high pitched whines flowing continuously from you.

"Good girl." He said, slowing his thrusts gradually, letting you ride out the last bits of your high. He pulled his fingers from you slowly, dragging them over your clit and sending you whining, body twisting to get away from the near painful sensations. His hand reached up to smooth over your mussed up hair, and even as your body shook from the aftershocks, your eyes slid closed. You were trying to catch your breath, but Baekhyun was trying to clumsily detach himself from you. Eventually he did so and disappeared for a moment, returning shortly with a few tissues.

"Let's get you cleaned up and in bed, baby girl." You hummed in complacent agreement, not yet having the energy or will to move. He carefully dressed you back up, not bothering the button your pants all the way, however, as he attempted to help you up. Both of you were still shaky, but the experience seemed to have sobered him up enough that he could support your weight. The two of you made your way back into your room, Baekhyun flopping onto your bed while you slowly changed, before settling in beside him. As the two of you situated yourselves, intertwining legs and maneuvering arms around, you realized that this was a type of complacent you hadn't felt in a long time, a content, calm, and happy feeling settling inside your chest. It was with this warmth, this content inside and out, and in Baekhyun's arms that you drifted off to sleep, for once not worried about tomorrow.

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a-lbeit · 4 years ago

Text

2020: a goddamn year in review

man oh man

rang in the new year drunk as hell with incredible company at a party we crashed; kissed at least 3 people

went to work the next morning still drunk and laughed all through my shift. it was blake, abby, and jacob’s last day

tried sushi for the first time and had one last juke joint evening before britt left

discovered the roof next to carnegie with rozi

slept over at blake’s apartment with britt the night before we all had to move out and the program officially ended. it was a nice way to end it. man, who knew what was to come with the rest of the year

finally saw the holiday version of small world the last night that the park had the holiday decorations up. looking back, i sure am glad i was able to see that

blake was able to continue living in carnegie because of his professional internship. rozi and i snuck in and slept over at his place once or twice, running through the halls before the new set of CPs moved in. most of the apartments were unlocked, so we went up and saw our old place all empty and dark. we all climbed up to lyndsay’s top bunk and blake put his head on me. the next morning, we were all having breakfast when a couple of cleaning people came in lmfao

got a spot for the cast preview of rise of the resistance. that’s a fucking cool ride, i gotta give it up

went to the autopia drive-in. that was certainly something i’ll be forever grateful was able to happen. we all sat in the cars and watched incredibles 2 with hella snacks. it was unique and memorable and special. i remember sitting next to benny in the break room, although we didn’t know each other at that point

went to an event in la with rozi, taleeah, taleeah’s sister, and her boyfriend (now her fiancé, soon to be husband). got as drunk as i did on new year’s, ate some random hot wings, and puked in the uber. yikes

called in an hour late to work the next day, even though my start time was already at 1pm lmao. i remember talking to matt about the night. i miss him sometimes.

went on my first hike since my ankle broke. what a joyous moment, sincerely. to be back on my feet, in my hiking boots, on dirt, climbing between the valleys and hilltops. that first moment when the world is gracious enough to let you return to a large raison d’être. you feel indebted, truly. you feel like things really will be all right in the end. it is like nothing else--pure, fresh, and humbling.

got closer with my coworkers. i still miss them like hell. i think i always will. there was so much we were going to do together. i began to realize that i felt happiest at work.

one day at work, my coworker brenda and i were Y1 and Y2, and my coworker benny was track 2 line 3. he came up and told me something, i believe a joke about how he couldn’t hear my spiel (i’d always be pretty loud during my spiels lmao, enough for a couple of my leads to tell me to quiet down a bit). when he went back, brenda leaned across and said that she thought he thought i was cute. i’ll always remember that moment, i think. i still think about whether the guests waiting in the cars heard her and tuned into the gossip. i was taken aback, to say the least. i thought he was cool, but he hadn’t really been on my radar. that changed right then.

a few days later, i came back up to her and asked if she meant what she said. she said yeah, and asked if i thought he was cute. i said i think so. a few days after that, it was a rainy day and auto was closed. i was talking to her and asked her why she thought that. she finally told me that she’d heard it from her close friend josh, who hung out with benny. i was honestly fucking shook lmao. it was all so juvenile, but it was fun to think about.

went to troy’s birthday party, expecting to see benny. he didn’t show, but i had a great time anyway. i got the kind of drunk where you’re still in control, but you feel like you’re on top of the world.

had a lunch and park date with lexi and cassie. i told them about benny, and when cassie and i rode autopia, he was at auto 3 and we pretended our car had broken down. he played along.

went to alejandra’s 21st birthday party. i wasn’t too close to her; i only knew her through rozi. i’m glad we got so much closer over the course of the year.

my self-confidence sort of skyrocketed. i bought new clothes and felt almost beautiful for once.

went to the cast preview of the new parade that was going to be at disneyland. lmfao that sure did go to shit.

had a beautiful day at the parks with my coworkers. i wish i could have attended more of those days, but things changed quickly, as we all know.

finally got off probation at work (which had been paused for the 3 months i was on medical leave) and found out i had been okayed to learn the nemo ride. i was excited to learn a second ride so soon after my probation ended, and i was excited that it was so unique. i mean, driving a submarine? come on. people may think it’s a lame attraction, but it’s not something you see everywhere. plus, it was also the other ride that benny knew. i had been trying to interact with him more at work in that coy way you might see in high school flirtation. like i said, it was juvenile. i claim it.

started working toward becoming a trainer—lexi was really helpful, and it was nice to talk with anthony and jeff about it and to know that all these leads thought i would be a good pick

found out through brenda that billy thinks i’m hot LMFAO. an ego booster of sorts

my new coworker melissa started getting closer to me, and she’d message me and text me. she eventually said she was interested in me, and i was a little on edge for a while, but we’re close now. i like her a lot. (her ex ended up also sort of coming on to me months later lmao)

the week before the closure came about, went to arizona with rozi and blake to visit britt. what a weekend. it was short, but certainly meaningful. we were able to meet and hang out with her beautiful family, catch up, have some great laughs, eat fire food (including my first dutch bros experience 👀), and explore a new area. it was my first time in arizona, and we got to see a tiny bit of phoenix and spent a windy afternoon in flagstaff. i feel like that was the last time things were so easy between all of us.

started training at nemo for the majority of what would become the last week i would be working before the closure, which was announced only like 3 days before it actually happened.

slept over at trev’s LMFAO

passed my PA on thursday amidst a weird 101 with the attraction. i remember looking across the way at my coworkers in the auto pit (because autopia also had to go down when nemo was down), and benny saw me and waved at me, and then everyone else did, too. a nice moment. a small group of them finished their shift when i was at greeter at nemo, and when they walked by, they all waved again.

after the closure was announced--something that was so unprecedented but also not taken seriously (it was just going to be a 2 week vacation, right? corona wasn’t that big a deal)--i picked up billy’s opening shift for friday, march 13th, the last day before the closure. i wasn’t excited for this “vacation” (like i said, i was happiest when i was at work. i was going to miss that place for the 2 weeks it would supposedly be closed), so i was very grateful to work once more at auto, one of my favorite places to be. it rained all morning, and we were only open for maybe an hour or so. i did a track walk with lexi, and i goofed around with all my friends. it was michelle’s birthday, so some of us brought some food for a potluck. i had lowkey hoped to see benny, but he didn’t work that day. oh well. it was a really great shift that would end up being my last, something that is so strange to say even after all this time. i even got up the courage to ask anthony to write a letter of rec for me for grad school.

a couple hours later, i met up with rozi and alejandra as guests in the park to get in some final fun before (what we thought would be) the 2-week closure. it was incredible, and at the end of the night, all the characters lined up at the train station to wave bye to us all. i know it’s disney and cringy, but i felt warm, albeit a little on edge.

the next evening, got pizza with some coworkers and went back to one of their houses. it was actually the brother of my nemo trainer lmfao. i followed benny on instagram that night while sitting at the dining room table. like 5 minutes later, he followed me back.

a day or two later, had brunch with some other coworkers before everything shut down for real. i’m grateful for kiley for arranging those types of get-togethers.

before the closure got extended indefinitely, before i started wearing a mask, before we really came to understand the gravity of covid, we had fun for a couple weeks. rozi and i went back to the roof next to carnegie with blake and we got caught. we went on a couple hikes. we’d go on almost daily evening walks and we’d do stairs in the morning. went to the beach. i really started to get into exercising, since i was no longer able to get the 20,000 steps i’d log at work each day. did those instagram tag games with my coworkers. engaged in all the activities that the early naïveté surrounding the pandemic brought, like whipped coffee. things weren’t great, but they were all right. we were still getting paid by disney, something that i do have to give props to the corporation for. they did what they could while they could.

taleeah, rozi, and i all finally united over our mutual dislike of our other roommate. i started to avoid being in the same place as her, so i’d often sit on the floor in the living room since we didn’t have any furniture at the time. i sort of miss it.

rozi moved out at the end of march. we hadn’t found anyone to replace her. we started splitting the rent evenly 3 ways. was it fair? not necessarily, but i mean, it wouldn’t have been fair any other way, either. that’s the way it goes. and you have to accept it.

benny remained in the back of my mind. my coworkers would have zoom calls, and i joined a couple of them at the beginning of quarantine. it was nice to talk to them, although i mostly just listened to their conversations. i hate video calls.

even though the closure was indefinite, we all kept saying we’d be back by june, august at the latest.

blake got laid off and ended up driving back home to tennessee. i hate that i cried when we said goodbye.

rozi came back to visit for the first time at the beginning of may

started getting a bit creative with my meals. just a bit

my unemployment finally started coming in, and i felt rich for a minute

rozi would come back about once a month or so. we’d take nice photos, get açaí and coffee, and pretend everything was gonna be over soon

rozi, blake, britt, and i all talked about meeting up again. we decided to fly out to tennessee at the end of july, coinciding with my birthday, actually. we bought our tickets and had plans to stay with blake and his family. it was going to be a beautiful reunion.

paid off my credit card for the first time since the end of 2017 (after having to load it up during my medical leave when i was the brokest i’ve ever been). it was incredibly freeing.

mindy moved back to oc, and we hung out for the first time since florida. it was a nice reunion, and i’m glad to have her as a friend who lives nearby

the end of may rolled around, and in the days following george floyd’s murder, there sure was a big change all around. the fire died down eventually, like it always does, but it hit harder this time around. saw one of my coworkers at the protest i attended. it was, and still is, a moving time marked so clearly with disgusting and incessant realities.

daisy moved in. i’m so incredibly grateful we’ve crossed paths. she is genuine and generous and a kind soul.

got açaí and coffee and went mini-golfing with rozi and a couple of her friends for her birthday. left my sunglasses at the course, took a chance and went back to look for them, and was overjoyed when i saw them resting at the 14th hole. thank you, whoever you were who put them there rather than taking them.

dalenna went out of town for 10 whole and beautiful days, and i completed the chloe ting 2 week shred. i’m so glad i did. it was the beginning of workouts that i actually enjoy doing and feel accomplished about doing. i feel strong and i look strong now, and i really do feel sort of indebted to chloe, as stupid as that sounds. seeing the bones in my hands, i like myself nowadays. i still treat myself probably way too much, but i feel disciplined.

started graduate school, something that i’m still shook was possible during these times

had a picnic with some coworkers, the first time i’d seen them in months. catching up with them was like nothing else

bought roller skates lmfao, and went roller skating with mindy because the rink reopened for a while

a couple days later, went back with rozi and taleeah

we ended up cancelling our plans to fly out to visit blake. covid was hard to deal with, obviously. it didn’t seem safe, and things didn’t seem right—with the world and within our group. i really hate what’s become of it. i miss the relationship i had with blake before rozi joined in, if i’m being honest.

tried to skate outside of a rink, but it’s just not for me lmao. i’m happy to have my own pair for whenever the rinks reopen again, though

for the 4th of july, taleeah and i got bomb food and ate in a park. i’ve really grown so close to her over the past half year or so, and i’m thankful for it. we’re different, for sure, but i think that she and i have a very similar understanding of life.

my ipod had broken a couple months back, and i finally bought a new one, although i didn’t actually set it up with my music until months later

went to laughlin with alejandra, taleeah, and rozi for a couple days. we melted in the triple digit heat, got a lot of dutch bros, did a drive-by of vegas (my first ever view of it—what a sight to see, all empty but still lit up), swam in lake mohave, and even drove over to the grand canyon for a day. i couldn’t help but be smitten with the grandeur of that part of the country. alejandra threw up several times while we were doing a hike, but she never stopped smiling and laughing and even flirting with a man from iowa. i admire and respect her endlessly.

for a few days, that instagram meme of random names being put on random objects (like a frog or a seinfeld screen cap) was huge. i went through many of those, sending them to everyone. i sent a couple to benny. and i even said fuck it and sent one to tucker. he responded almost immediately and we started catching up. it was strange, but it was so incredibly nice. i told him my grievances, and he apologized. and we started talking like old friends again.

went to downtown disney on the 65th anniversary of disneyland opening. a strange sort of homecoming in the midst of crippling uncertainty (something that still overwhelms me--but at least i’m not in the purgatory of furlough anymore. at least I know my fate)

with my birthday coming up, i had decided to rent a car for a few days (i had a couple free days with hertz) to explore southern california a bit, an activity long overdue. on disneyland’s birthday, there was a special zoom call that my coworkers were having, and i hopped on it for a while. benny was on it, like he always was. part of my plan—the main part, actually—was to go to salvation mountain, slab city, and the salton sea. i told everyone about it, and benny and i got to talking about it for a couple minutes because he had done a photoshoot there for his band. it was the most we’d talked in months. then i got off the call to facetime tucker LMFAO. we flirted a bit. we hung up after a while and i actually got back on the zoom call because i felt so good. that evening was a real high for me, socially speaking.

in the days and weeks that passed, tucker and i got close again. he’d call me cute and say he missed me. he was into me again, that’s for damn sure. it was nice for a minute. i even thought about flying out east to visit my parents and to see him in december

2 days before my birthday, i drove around all day, up to solvang and san luis obispo and back down to malibu to try to see the comet that was rolling through. it was pretty stupid of me to think malibu would be a good place to see it. it was cloudy as hell, but it was still beautiful. then i drove home along the worst part of the PCH just because it was the PCH. the next evening, taleeah and i went to the top of the world in laguna and we think we saw it. several people had the same idea, but i enjoyed the sense of community we all had. earlier in the day, i had driven to the us-mexico border where the PCT starts and walked along the first mile or so. it was incredible to see that in person. maybe one day, i’ll see it as a thru-hiker. who really knows. anyway, after the comet, we drove back home and stopped to get my free dozen birthday doughnuts from krispy kreme.

the next day was my birthday. the night before, i asked taleeah if i should invite our other roommate. we decided it was probably a good idea to, just to be nice, even though we don’t like her. it was very last-minute of us, so we thought she’d say no. she said yes. lmao. it was pretty fun, though, and i’m glad i invited her. it’s nice to be inclusive. we drove to the desert, blasting my music that i so rarely get to blast while driving. seeing salvation mountain in person was a really fascinating experience. it was faded from the sun and it was empty. sheer beauty. i love the unassuming presence of the whole area and how everyone lives off the grid. then, we went to bombay beach and the salton sea. the gritty art next to the toxic waters made for some really fucking cool vibes. it was hot as hell, of course, and i didn’t mind, but dalenna did get a bit overheated. she doesn’t drink water, ever. it was all right, though. she was a trooper, i’ll give her that. i had a great day, and i hope taleeah and dalenna did, as well. we ended the day in riverside, seeing the mission inn that my father and his sisters often speak of.

i got so many birthday messages that day (including from benny). it made me feel really loved

honestly, i loved that rental car. the sound system was crystal clear

i had gotten really fucking tan by this point, since i’d go on walks and be outside so often. the socal kiss of summer really is something

did the hollywood hike for the first time with matty. seeing those letters up close and personal makes you really think about the history of the area, the rich (albeit troubled) cultural history of the silver screen

got extremely drunk with rozi at my apartment and facetimed tucker. it was the beginning of the end with that, even though he said he would love to have me over

reached the end of my first quarter of grad school. the last day, i took the train into la and met up with rozi so that we could gallivant around the city in an attempt to find billboards advertising blackbear’s new album—there was a contest on twitter that rozi was trying to win. it was one of the best days, really. we went to the grove and the pink wall and a bit of the abandoned la zoo. it was so fucking hot, but it didn’t even matter. when i got back to anaheim, i submitted my final group project and even had time to meet up with a few coworkers in a park to doodle and gossip. one of my favorite days of the year, honestly

the next day, i treated myself to my free bagel and cream cheese from bruegger’s and a latte, ate in the noguchi garden that i love so much, and ordered a new computer (which came with free airpods). the computer took a month to get here, but i had my airpods 2 days later

then, a couple days after that, rozi and i went on the road trip of the year all the way to portland (i won’t say exactly how many times we stopped at dutch bros, but it was...a lot)

we started off by driving to this kitschy western-themed shop about 3 hours north. then we drove all the way to redding in norcal

the next morning, we did a hike in shasta national forest. seeing snow on the mountain in august was like nothing else. it finally felt like fall

on we went, getting a quick photo in the town of weed, of course, before making our way to bend, oregon, to see the last blockbuster standing. i bought a tote bag. it’s one of those things you just have to do. we finally rolled into portland at the end of the night

the next day, we explored the city a bit before meeting up with my friend katie who i met while working in florida. it was so fucking beautiful to see her again. we reminisced and caught up and she showed us around her neck of the woods in vancouver

the day after was a hiking day for sure. rozi and i went to multnomah falls, one of those things you always see in photos and feel so lucky to be able to see in person, and then to the bridge of the gods, where cheryl strayed ended her PCT hike. walking across that bridge was another favorite moment of my year. then we wound up in mt hood national forest. the hike we did had wild huckleberries along much of the trail that we snacked on, feeling like true foragers. again, the snow on the mountain makes you feel some type of way.

our last day in that area, we drove through some of washington, stopping at some ice caves and then going all the way to mt st helens. crazy stuff. we vowed to come back to do the hike around the crater someday

our journey back began, and we drove down the oregon coast. those cloudy beaches and coastal drives are something of an emblem of the tail end of a PNW summer, it seems.

the last day of the trip, we met up with rozi’s friend in sausalito, gazing out at sf across the bay, and then with her other friend in carmel (after driving over the golden gate and blasting scott mckenzie’s “san francisco,” something that just must be done). i want to have a more prolonged experience in the monterey area. so unique a place.

seeing the skies tinged orange from all the forest fires was something else. what a year of burning.

slept over at trev’s again lmao, maybe for the last time. had the best kind of la day afterwards, wandering celebrity graves at the hollywood forever cemetery and treating myself to bougie drinks at peet’s and groundwork coffee at the grove. i even saw the charmed house before taking the train back. it was the one-year anniversary of breaking my ankle and i had grown so much, come so far, felt so full. even if the midst of all the shit, i was happy. happiness despite my surroundings is sort of a theme of the year, as tone-deaf as that may sound. i am content with my life, sure, but i am not blind to the despair.

got really pissed at and hurt by tucker again, and learned my lesson this time. his mixed signals sure are something else. whatever. we’re cool now, friendly acquaintances.

my next quarter of school started. 4 classes, all for free (i’d done 3 the previous quarter). i always try to remember how goddamn lucky i am, even when i’m feeling lazy

the one-year anniversary of my surgery passed on september 26th. again, i couldn’t believe how fortunate i had been with my recovery journey. i am indebted to that injury more than i can fathom. it brought the change i had been in desperate need of. i was happy previously. a little too naive, though. that injury developed me and made appreciate so, so much the life that i have, the abilities and strength that i have. over a year later, and here i am, still writing about it as if it happened a month ago. i’m thankful for that test.

took a trip to santa barbara for the weekend with rozi and taleeah. rozi showed us around her old stomping grounds from when she attended UCSB, and we chilled out in some hot springs. we stopped in oxnard on the way back and hung out with taleeah’s family, going fishing and eating lunch with them.

i saw on benny’s band’s instagram that they were having a real live show the day we were coming back. i was disappointed i couldn’t go, since i wasn’t in the area. i’d always wanted to go to one of his shows. i hoped there would be more.

my new computer finally came in lmao

a couple days later, went to san diego for the weekend, this time with rozi and alejandra. we got to know the city a bit; it was a short introduction but i enjoyed the beach and the architecture. we all even played crazy 8s with tucker

amidst all of that, 28k layoffs at disney were announced. we knew in the back of our minds that we’d be a part of those.

the movies theaters reopened, and i started going again. it was a nice, simple way to spend my evenings.

the conflict between armenia and azerbaijan escalated around this time, and rozi was deeply affected, of course understandably so. i can’t empathize with what she was going through, but i really felt for her. and i checked up on her. but she ghosted everyone and was really sort of tunnel-visioned about how people should react to and discuss the conflict. and i realized that i had come to rely on her presence too much. so i distanced myself from her. i also realized that she is most of the reason that britt, blake, she, and i aren’t as close as we once were. she has a very dominating presence, and i’ve realized that i don’t like that things often have to be on her terms or are dictated by her—not in terms of what we do, but in terms of the general vibe of a relationship. so i keep that in mind now. i love her, truly. but i’ve been able to step back. i don’t jump to text her whenever i have news anymore. maybe that will change again. but anyway.

hiked in crystal cove again, the first hike i had done after my ankle healed back in january, this time for one of my classes. it was a really nice day to myself

submitted my absentee ballot. i really didn’t know what was going to happen. it sure was a case of hoping for the best, but expecting the worst.

did my first hike with daisy and rich, something that became incredibly fun the few times we did it, even though this first time, we didn’t get too far. we’re hoping to get back into it relatively soon

did the hollywood hike again with matty

went with taleeah to get her tattoo. she got the email about getting laid off that morning, but she didn’t let it get to her. a couple days later, i got my email.

i had seen that benny’s band was doing another show, and i was determined to go. taleeah said she would go with me. i was scared as hell, but i messaged my coworker troy and asked him about it, since he’d gone the show a couple weeks prior. it looked like a real possibility. i didn’t message benny at all LMFAO

on october 30, i got my eyebrow pierced. it was something i’d had in the back of my mind for years. now that i didn’t have to worry about staying in disney look anymore, i decided to say to hell with it. later that day, i did go to benny’s show. another one of my favorite days of the year, for sure.

i was messaging troy beforehand so that i could meet up with him. i was too scared to go with only taleeah. i needed someone that benny and i both knew there.

i saw benny, and avoided him like hell. i hadn’t been this nervous in a long time.

troy finally showed up with his girlfriend, and we all talked for a while. finally, benny was about to go on, and he was putting his instruments on the stage. he saw me. did a double take. put down his drum immediately to hug me. it was nice.

after his set, taleeah and i sat at a table outside, and this other person we’d been talking to, brandy, sat next to taleeah and talked with us. then benny joined, sitting next to me. we talked all night. 6 hours absolutely flew by. i was on cloud 9. we all made a group chat to go hiking. and it actually ended up working out. benny hugged me goodbye and asked for my number, although i merely said it was in the group chat LMAO

hiked again with daisy and rich, and we got farther this time. it was autumnal up there in the mountains.

went to a sexy santa halloween party that mindy threw. i looked good as hell

election day came and went without a winner. nerve-racking.

went to downtown disney with melanie and delaney. it was nice to catch up with them for the first time in months

biden was eventually officially projected to win. it was a surreal moment, a calming moment, a moment of peace. what a long, strange trip it’s been, that’s for damn sure.

actually went on a hike with brandy and benny. unfortunately, taleeah had been getting bad vertigo and had to bail. i couldn’t believe it had worked out in some form, though. i was hanging out with benny outside of work.

my quarter was once again coming to an end, and i finished it pretty unenthusiastically. although i had registered for the next quarter, i knew that with my impending layoff at the end of the year, i wouldn’t be able to continue on for free. eventually, i withdrew from the next quarter. i’ll probably pay out of pocket, but i’m still weighing my options. that was probably the most devastating part of my year. getting over halfway done with a master’s degree for free, well on my way to complete it in just one calendar year, and then having that ripped away. but i do try to remember that i got over halfway in 2 quarters. that’s nothing to sneeze at. and i’m beyond grateful. and i will finish it, hopefully in the next year or so.

brandy randomly called me a few days after our hike and asked if i wanted to do another hike. i said sure, although not that same day. we did another hike, this time just us two. i wondered if that meant anything. i hoped not. he did ask me out at the end of that hike. i turned him down, and it wasn’t a big deal at all. i’m very glad we’re friends. we continued to do hikes separate from the rest of the group, and i actually told him the next time about benny.

hiked with daisy and rich again, this time in snow. it was absolutely beautiful, although terrifying sometimes. what a way to kick off the holiday season.

benny invited us to a bonfire at his place, and i was the only one of our group to go. i met his friends

got my 1 year service pin LMFAO

started really going on weekly hikes with brandy, usually once during the week and one on the weekend with benny and taleeah, as well. the weekend get-togethers turned into sometimes doing stuff other than hiking

went to downtown disney and the newly opened buena vista street with rozi and alejandra. once again, i looked good as hell. rozi posted a picture of us all on her insta, and tucker hit me up LMFAOOOOOOO

zuri invited me to thanksgiving with her family. they were so fucking lovely and welcoming to me. i will never forget it.

the next day, met up with rozi in la and went to citywalk for the first time. then we went to hollywood blvd just because. we met up with alejandra and were tourists for a minute, ending the night at the grove, where we went to umami burger and i got a black burger bun that turned my shit green LMFAO

went with alejandra to get her tattoo. it was so much quicker than taleeah’s and i was surprised lol

went to company d a few times toward the end of the year, including once with mindy; afterwards, we went to the knott’s version of downtown disney

later that night (december 8th, to be exact), taleeah, brandy, benny, and i all went to downtown disney in the evening and then came back to our place to watch the princess bride. what a night. what was supposed to be an innocent wine and movie night turned into benny and i getting extremely, extremely drunk. we decided to put on white christmas after princess bride ended. that was when i was really starting to feel drunk. benny and i ended up on the couch together, and i was lying on him after a while. i remember pointing out how hot the skinny bitch in white christmas is, and i remember him saying that i have better curves than her. we sort of started flirting. the movie ended, and brandy needed to go home. benny ended up deciding to stay over. taleeah walked brandy down, and basically immediately after they left, i asked benny if he’d ever kissed anyone. he said no. i asked if he wanted to. he said yeah. we kissed. and then kissed some more. lmao. we laid together on the couch for the rest of the night, dozing off and kissing in between. we went to my apartment’s rooftop to see the sunrise and talked for a while. he left around 8am or so. we kissed goodbye. i sat on down on the couch and thought and thought and thought.

i was absolutely shook. goddamn. rozi came over later because we were going to go to laughlin again with alejandra for a few days. i enjoyed rehashing the events of the night.

we left for laughlin, and the morning of (in the dutch bros line, coincidentally), benny texted me to officially ask me out. it was cute.

it was great couple days—we went to the hoover dam and then to oatman, where there are wild burros that roam the streets of that dated section of route 66, and even spent a night in vegas at the stratosphere. rozi and i went on the rides at the top of it, which was fucking insane, and we all walked the strip, which i’d never done before. i always think of the partridge family when i think of vegas.

after coming back from laughlin, taleeah, brandy, benny, and i all went on a super short “hike” and then came back and watched white christmas for real this time. benny and i hadn’t gone out yet (this was the first time since that eventful drunken night), and we barely touched all night. all 3 of them separately told me how awkward it was, but i didn’t really think so.

finally went on our date. it was the first real date i’d ever been on, apart from the in n out thing tucker and i went on more than a year prior. it was cute, innocent. benny doesn’t drive, so he had his friend chauffeur us to this hipster food hall 😂. we ate and talked (i do lowkey hope to educate him on some social and economic issues), and then he had had plans for a bonfire at the beach, but it was getting late and the beach was closing. so, we went back to his place and had a bonfire there. he finally asked if he could kiss me again, and we ended up taking things back to his bedroom. it was really late by that point, and i didn’t want to make his friend drive me back home. so i stayed over. it was a good night. when i left in the morning, i told him to buy condoms.

brandy, benny, and i hiked black star canyon finally—a good hike, although we lost brandy for a bit because he was rock scrambling so much faster than us.

the evening of the 23rd, benny and i had our second date; we went mini golfing and then came back to my place because my roommate had thankfully left that morning to go home for the holiday. this was the first time i’d ever brought a guy to my place (apart from a couple hours at carnegie with tucker). we watched home alone 2 and a few episodes of seinfeld, and we finally had sex. it’s the only time we’ve done it so far just because it’s so goddamn hard for us to have time alone, but it was nice. i liked having him next to me in my own bed for once.

the next morning, he left. it was christmas eve. it was the best christmas eve ever—i ate a shitload of food and just chilled without having to deal with my roommate.

christmas morning, i woke up and had a lovely morning—worked out and chilled out and even had a zoom call with my family. daisy and rich invited to me to spend christmas dinner with them, which was such a kind gesture. we had delicious food and watched some of die hard and then the jim carrey version of a christmas carol. i came back for a peaceful evening by myself.

i was honestly missing benny and still had one more day before any of my roommates came home (and a few more days until my actual roommate came home), so i invited him to stay over again. i like just being in his presence.

brandy and i went on one final outing before the new year, working out and doing a short hike in bolsa chica. views of the snow-covered mountains on one side and the goddamn pacific ocean on the other made me think about the unusual, very particular perfection of southern california.

my roommates and i decided to have a very small kickback for new year’s eve. in the couple days leading up to it, we bought decorations and planned food. taleeah and i returned our costumes finally, the layoff to go into effect the next day. it was strange to think only now, 9 months since we’d last worked, were we to officially separate from the company. it was a good run.

that same day (the 30th), taleeah, brandy, benny, and i all had one final hangout of the year--a boat cruise in newport to see the holiday lights that the rich people put on their houses. benny put his arm around me. we were close to each other while we gazed at the lights. i was happy. one last bit of holiday fun before the worries of 2021 arrived at our doorstep.

new year’s eve started out uneventful, but became an incredible night. i wore a fucking hot dress. (it’s become so nice to see myself and be proud of the way i look. i know it’s probably shallow to have become so focused on the way my body looks, but i am proud. i have become strong. i have become pretty fit. and i like that about myself. i think it reflects something so much deeper about my outlook on life.) the only people we ended up having over were benny and taleeah’s date, martin. brandy ended up having a sinus infection and couldn’t make it last minute, and i had invited mindy and her boyfriend, but they spent the evening at his family’s house. so it was just taleeah, martin, benny, dalenna, and me. lmao. it was pretty fun, though, once the boys had arrived. we played a music trivia game, listened to music, and ate pizza. benny and i were the only ones really drinking, although taleeah had a bit, as well. a little before midnight, we found something to stream for west coast time, and when the clock struck midnight, we all toasted with the fancy prosecco that benny had brought (minus dalenna) and i kissed him. i’d never had a new year’s kiss, especially not one right at midnight. it was wonderful. and then we went onto the porch and blew our noisemakers and yelled out happy new year, and fellow residents came out and said the same. it was nice to have that human connection, even in times like these. and then we decided to go to the roof, and we again yelled out happy new year on our way across the street, and people came out onto their porches and said the same. we gazed at the lights of anaheim and the lights in the sky. we saw a few fireworks. benny and i were making out, and so were taleeah and martin. benny and i snuck off for like an hour to a dark little section of the roof you’re not supposed to walk on. eventually, we rejoined the other two and we all talked with a guy playing his guitar named cowboy chris. it was cold, so we came back to our apartment after a while. benny left around 3 or so, i believe, to catch a flight to cleveland with his friend. i walked him down and we procrastinated the goodbye for a good few minutes, and then i came back and went to bed. and then i woke up, and 2020 had truly been kicked out, and 2021 had started with a nice stimmy direct deposit. 2021, be good. there is so much promise for this year. i’m excited, albeit wary, to see how it all plays out.

over the year, some things were constant or else developed slowly over months:

really grew to love working out. i still absolutely hate gym culture and i really don’t like to broadcast my exercise, but i love doing it so much.

listened to music truly in a new light—who would have thought i would come to branch out more than i ever have, to see how cool and beautiful and noteworthy absolutely everything is? i know that that is not news in any way, and i know that i have a lens that i look through that i need to work on widening. but at any rate, i am so thankful to my friends for letting me in to their own libraries.

missed driving, as always, although i am very content to not have to deal with the stresses and expenses of having a car. i just wish i had more friends who also didn’t have cars so i didn’t always feel indebted.

missed my job like nothing else. autopia is the best place I have ever worked without a single doubt in my mind. the people i work with, the leads, the job itself. it is fun and involved and just plain cool. i hope to return, although i don’t really think i will. who knows, though.

tried to support gavin newsom with all my heart. he has made his best efforts, but i just wish he wasn’t so hypocritical. i will continue to support him, though, i think, but without such a star in my eye.

toward the end of the year, played among us a few times with my group from florida. i forgot how much i miss them all.

songs of the year: “before the deluge,” jackson browne, “all the debts i owe,” caamp, “which way are you goin,” jim croce. browne’s lyricism and intonations just strike you--gently, but with a certain meaningful force that i don’t feel too often. i think of “before the deluge” a lot and i relate it to my own life throughout 2020, in an abstract sort of way. 2020 gave so much to me, yes, and i feel gratitude for it. but it certainly was a deluge unlike many of us had ever seen before. and we haven’t gotten past it yet, but we are doing our best to “keep our spirits high” and “keep our children dry”--and songs like this make it easy for me to keep up that state of mind. “all the debts i owe” always makes me think of blake, how he had to leave but maybe he’ll be back one day. i remember listening to that song on the bus to work back in january and february, so captivated by it. i had no idea how the lyrics would soon become so close to me. and then “which way are you goin.” croce will always have relevance in the most unpretentious and poignant manner.

what a goddamn whirlwind. 2020, the year that no one could have fathomed, the year that we’ll say we barely got through—hell, so many of us didn’t make it at all. and that is unjust. the pandemic made its mark on us all, transformed us all. and i’ll speak to that in a minute. but the conflicts, the war crimes, the ignorance, the unwillingness to listen and compromise and communicate. this year, people strayed far too often into grotesque, violent, and inhumane realities. azerbaijan’s control of artsakh was such a blow for armenians, the result of an awful and unnecessarily (and unjustifiably) violent war. and the western world often glossed over it, and continues to. i unfortunately still remain pretty ignorant on the issue, but it seems easy to see the layers of hatred and disgusting desire for control that have fueled that conflict. nigeria’s protests against sars spoke to the issue of major police brutality that so deeply impacts many cultures, and it’s disheartening, to say the least, that the western world also willfully remained ignorant through it all. it’s so common a grievance, but one that doesn’t seem to change. it doesn’t seem like it can, not unless some major cultural and even psychological reform or rebirth comes about. it’s the same reason i believe in communism, but i don’t believe it’s realistic in this world (although i could change my stance in time). anyway. 2020 threw obstacles like nothing else. obviously, as someone living in the us, i easily get wrapped up just in domestic issues. i’m glad so many movements gained such serious traction in a time when people are often home and are attached to their information sources. it made everything strike more deeply, i think. nothing has resolved, though. resting on laurels will make any prospect of development completely futile. persistence is fundamental.

at the end of the day, a few things stick with me absolutely always, in spite of any hardship. this life is beautiful. it is unmatched. it is authentic, challenging, full of grit and light and purity. it kicks us sometimes, and then it pats us on the back. and it is an honor like absolutely nothing else to be able to be a part of it. i let myself feel bad; it’s part of the human condition and experience, and one that has value. but through it, i never find it hard to keep in mind the grace that the planet has for us. the gratitude overwhelms my entire torso and i cherish it.

“a victory lap through these impossible days”

#about me #me #a year in review #2020

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throne-of-games · 6 years ago

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Thoughts on 8x04

Ah, shit here we go

Sansa crying over Theon’s body, giving him the direwolf pin, I AM CRYING

I also really liked that we got a shot of Jon watching Sansa mourn Theon

My thoughts when I first saw Ghost in this order: BABY BOY! Christ couldn’t someone have washed him a bit at least

Okay is it just me or did Jon’s speech sound so hecking odd?! Like not even the speech itself but the way he was talking? Was it just Kit with early onset laryngitis or does Jon just really hate giving public speeches? (If it’s the latter, can’t really fault you there, cause I’m right there with ya buddy.)

I think the way they did the burning of the pyre scene was nice, each character sending off the person they had a connection with i.e Sam and Edd, Jon and Lyanna, Arya and Beric

So looks like Dany has started a bit of a PR campaign with the legitimization of Gendry and I have to admit, she’s on the right track here. Making it a public spectacle, starting off with the whole you’re dad sucks and tried to kill me spiel before finishing with but I’m making you a lord because I’m the queen and I can.

And I absolutely love that they have Sansa understanding exactly what just went on there because if anyone knows how to play the game it’s my baby girl

I thought it was kind of funny how they kept showing Dany sulking in the corner during the feast

“I don’t really want anymore.” Lmfao jesus Bran, you need to take your whole weird cousin at the family gathering you avoid because he’s continually talking about how time is a social construct and nothing is real and you’re all I just asked you to pass the peas can you not aesthetic down a notch

Omg Tormund forcing Jon to drink and saNSA PLAYFULLY ENCOURAGING HIM WAS THE MOST PRECIOUS GD THING IN THIS WHOLE EPISODE AND YOU CAN QUOTE ME ON THAT

I highkey liked that Arya didn’t really give two shits about being at the feast because it’s just so her to not want any praise for what she did and I just—I love her.

Oh my GOD the jealous Sansa in this episode was way too gd real and as soon as she walks out Jon looks after her and this is just prime fic material right here

This Jaime/Brienne/Tyrion/Pod drinking game scene was real cute and funny up until that virgin quip then it was just cringe as hell. CRINGE I TELL YOU!

I thought it was interesting to see Dany’s reaction to the love Jon receives from the northmen and how later on she pretty much says she’s never not been adored by her people before and it’s a really tough pill for her to swallow. Whether you’re a Dany fan or not, it’s easy to see how very out of place she is in the North and in Winterfell. It’s not a strike against her, it’s just a basic fact that she doesn’t belong there while Jon very much does belong in the North and I think this scene did a terrific job of highlighting all of this.

And then we get this ominous shot of Varys side-eyeing Dany while she side-eyes Tyrion and Jaime as well as Jon enjoying the feast with his people until she seemingly can’t take it anymore and promptly leaves the feast. I almost feel bad for her. Almost.

Lmao Tormund crying over Brienne. Funny, but once again: the horse is dead guys, time to quit beating it!

Okay so I was actually enjoying this Sansa and Sandor scene until he fucking brought up what Ramsey did to her like that and now I really want to reach into my fucking screen and strangle him.

The look on Sansa’s face when he says she’s changed is honestly heartbreaking. It’s like in that moment she fully realizes exactly how much she’s been forced to change and all the trauma she’s gone through and just how fucking cruel the world turned out to be and I just—I need a minute.

Ah, Gendry and Arya. First off—Damn, boy didn’t wasted any time did he? His eagerness was cute but it felt a bit cheesy to me. As for Arya’s response, I think it makes total sense for her to answer the way she did. She might love him or what have you but since season one she’s always wanted to be a lady warrior and not someone’s wife which is valid as fuck. She’s right, it isn’t her. It doesn’t mean they’ll never cross paths again or that they don’t love each other. Arya’s basically just the Westerosi version of a modern millennial woman.

Jaime and Brienne—You sound quite jealous!! I’m not a huge shipper of it but I think it’s cute and honestly it’s funny to see people who actually claimed they were strictly platonic (sorry wut?) eating their words but the whole thing was a little awkward. But maybe it was meant to be considering it was Brienne’s first time

We can, I’ve just told you how. Jesus, Dany was a bit manic this whole scene but that line and the absolute drain of emotion we see on her face? Uh oh.

Sansa says hey maybe we should let the soldiers rest a little before jumping right back into another war, Dany somehow hears betrayal in that, goes to KL anyways and loses majorly. When will people learn to listen to the Queen in the North?

Not really digging that look Jon gave Sansa. I guess you could interpret it as Jon knowing Dany doesn’t like Sansa and he wants to keep her from harm at Dany’s hand so he’s trying to get her to keep a lid on it around the lady with crazy eyes and dragons or something, I have no idea. With that being said, D&D can have season 7-8 Jon. I will only be keeping season 1-6 Jon. Thank you.

Lmao did anyone else notice Jon moves the dragon chip to where he’s going and Greyworm moves it away?! Funny as well as dubious.

That look Sansa shoots Brienne when Tyrion mentions Jaime...she knows her friend just got some good good

I absolutely love that it’s Arya telling Jon all the hard truths. We don’t trust your queen. She’s not one of us.

We didn’t get to see the reactions of Sansa and Arya finding out about Jon’s parentage. Disappointed but not surprised. Although I liked that they showed the contrast between Sansa and Arya reassuring Jon of his Starkness and Dany rejecting him as the last of her Targaryen family because of his claim.

The old Sandor/Arya team is back together and you know what? I aint mad. I wish Arya would have told her siblings she was leaving again though but it makes sense why she didn’t. I headcanon her and Sansa had a really emotional goodbye scene wherein Arya leaves her with a dagger and gives her a quick lesson on how best to use it and Sansa makes Arya a beautiful Stark cloak so she can have a piece of home with her where ever she goes.

Here comes all the Sansa betrayed Jon and told Tyrion!! posts. If that’s what you’re going to claim then you best drag not only Jon for telling Sansa and Arya but Dany for asking Jon to keep a secret like that from his family in the first place.

Sansa not wanting Jon to go south and getting defensive when Tyrion implies that Jon wouldn’t stay in Winterfell is everything. She loves him so much. Ugh. Someone help.

“You’re afraid of her.” Sansa hitting the nail on the head, per usual.

The ghost scene. We’re not gonna talk about it. WHERE’S THE REAL JON?! WHERE IS HE?!

Tyrion is sure trying to push this good queen Dany narrative. Methinks the lady doth protest too much.

Later, Rhaegal. It was nice knowing you. (Not really so much though.)

Lmfao Euron’s smile was the creepiest/most unintentionally funny thing I’ve ever seen. AKA me reading all the leaks earlier.

Jesus, Dany has like eleven men left, no ships, and is now one dragon less. Should have listened to Sansa and held off for a bit, maybe?

Varys tells Dany she’s making a huge mistake and is putting thousands of innocent lives at risk. Her response? This is my destiny, I will serve it no matter the costs. Am I surprised? Not a bit. Will the antis find a way to justify even this? You bet.

Have you considered the best ruler might be someone who doesn’t want to rule? Why yes Varys, yes I have!

They’re not getting married Tyrion, drop it already. Jeez, you’re worse than the antis.

Poor Brienne. She’s reassuring him that he’s good, that he’s worthy of honor and redemption and although it’s something he’s been chasing after for a while now he ultimately chooses to reject the idea that he’s deserving of it. My eyes are all wet now.

Lmao Tyrion and Qyburn. You surrender! No, you surrender!

Oh, Missandei. I knew it was coming but that didn’t make it any easier to watch. And Greyworm’s reaction was fucking brutal. Christ.

Overall? This episode was bad. Like unquestionably bad. Like wow, I thought the last episode sucked but I guess D&D are eager to outdo themselves. I stand by my claim that the showrunners are flying through this season because they just want to wash their hands of the show already and uh, I mean I can’t really say I’m surprised.

#sfw #jonsa #jon x sansa #game of thrones #got spoilers #sansa stark #bran stark #arya stark #jon snow #brienne of tarth #jaime lannister #tyrion lannister #anti daenerys

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hey-hey-chan · 6 years ago

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Ice Queen - Hyunjin

❀ Slice of Life/angst + some lighthearted and funny moments

❀ Word count: 7.1 K

❀ It’s December, meaning the winter formal is right around the corner. You happen to be the head of leadership, meaning it’s your job to set everything up, and making everything perfect. Of course, you are unable to do so with a certain boy who keeps telling you to show emotion, to let down your controlling ways- not with people, but with life. Will you finally let down your guard and become vulnerable or will you build your walls even higher?

❀ WARNING: mentions of death

❀ A/N: this... this turned out differently than I imagined... i really like the ice queen/winter formal concept. maybe i’ll write something similar... and less angsty LMFAO

ALSO I changed the point of view of the character, so I’m now trying out writing in second person !! so pls excuse if there are any POV changes (I probs messed up oml) or if there are any tense errors ;-; would LOVE to hear feedback on whether you prefer second or first (my normal pov) person more!!

------

The whole school looked like a winter wonderland. The halls were decorated with lights and colorful streamers and the windows had a white rim around all of them. A big fat tree was set in the middle of the school and had little ornaments drooping beside them.

Kids were smiling and taking pictures next to all the fabulous decorations, but unfortunately, you were not one of them.

Your hair was tied back in a slick ponytail and you had to brush back the small baby hairs that framed your face. As president of leadership, you had to do everything, meaning you set up the decorations with the help of little to nothing as well as think of the artwork that was plastered around the school.

“Finally, all done.” You whispered to yourself as you put the final poster about the winter formal above the cafeteria, even though everyone already knew about it.

“Great work with the decorations, y/n, the school looks so festive ever year.” A girl in your science class commented. You gave her a bright smile, one you had to master to look good and nice to your peers. “Aw, thank you so much!” The girl scurried away with her group of friends, leaving you to try and find your own.

“Wow, you set up the entire school by yourself... once again. How expected.” The familiar voice sent shivers down your spine in anger. You knew the boy was just trying to get on your nerves, and you wouldn’t let that happen.

You turned on your heels to face the vice president of the club, Hwang Hyunjin. The boy was wearing a casual sweater with black jeans, but you couldn’t help but scan his entire outfit; he was good eye candy.

You gave him a tight smile. “Well, if anyone else volunteered to help me, maybe I wouldn’t have to do it alone.” You tried to walk past him, but he kept up with your quick steps.

The boy scoffed and ruffled his fluffy hair. “Yeah, maybe people would volunteer if you weren’t such a neat freak and obsessed with control.” You kept walking and didn’t let his words bother you. It wasn’t the first time you’ve heard them and definitely not the last. “Why don’t you just chill out a bit and then have people help you? It’s seriously not that hard.”

At those words, you stopped to stare at the boy. “Hyunjin, I’m fine setting up the decorations by myself. And of course, I do have some help, but most of it is easy work. I like setting up the decorations, alone, when no one is here to help me.” You spoke honestly. You were in leadership, but you weren’t too fond of hanging around other people. You knew that everyone in leadership was fake, and even you were too-- it was just a part of the job.

Hyunjin rolled his eyes. “Well I didn’t ask what you liked. Other people in the club want to help do something as well and you can’t just do everything yourself since you have the decorations stored at your house.” You sighed and tightened the strings on your backpack.

“Um, I think it does mean I can set it up whenever I want to if most of the decorations are stored at my house.” You turned to walk up the stairs, knowing he had a class on the second floor. “No one has ever approached me, claiming they want to help me, so I would argue that everyone in the club is fine with how I run things.” You gave the boy a light wave. “Have fun in class.”

You gave him a fake smile, one you’ve practiced so hard in the mirror. As you turned away, you heard him mumble “ugh fake bitch,” leaving you to chuckle under your breath. You were used to that phrase as only Hyunjin called you it. It was annoying, but it didn’t really bother you as he was the only one who had a problem with you. The rest of the kids at school had thought you were fake, but they had no evidence to find you being mean so their rumors always faltered.

You sat down in your calculus class and tried not to think too much about the irritating boy.

----

There was a meeting for the winter formal after school. You were the first one to arrive, of course. You cleaned the white board and set out the markers you brought yourself.

“Wow, you’re here first, surprise surprise.” You tried hard not to roll your eyes at the boy.

“Yeah, I mean, my class is down the hall so.” You shrugged as you gave him a light smile. He didn’t give you one back.

“Or maybe you just can’t handle someone else starting the meeting or touching your precious whiteboard.” You bit down your lip so you wouldn’t snap, but to be honest, the boy sometimes just rubbed you the wrong way.

You set down the pens and crossed your arms. “Or, it’s because I am president, so I have to start the meetings and I do like to keep the white board clean and I like to bring my own markers. So what? I don’t see you doing anything to stop me.” You retorted while setting down your bag on the chair. Hyunjin had nothing to say to you as other students started to file in.

“Hey y/n, the decorations looking fresh this year.” You smiled at the underclassmen girl.

“Thanks so much! I love the way it turned out too.” As soon as most people were there, it was time to start the meeting. “Ok, so, topic of the meeting. Winter formal.” You sprawled the words on top in bright red, underlining it.

“So, any ideas? Decorations? Any fun surprises we should have? Anything.” You said as usual. This was a time just to get ideas out.

A boy in the back raised his hands. “Animals. We have a place for a petting zoo for the students and they can pay us five dollars each time they visit it. That’ll rack in the money!” He high-fived his friends who happened to be sophomores, just like him. You tried hard not to roll your eyes.

“Um, unfortunately, we cannot do that because there may be people allergic to the animals and if everyone is touching them, then of course their allergies will start to act up.” You frowned as if the idea was good in the first place. You glanced at your vice president.

“What she means is, that’s a dumb idea, Heejun.” Hyunjin mocked while twiddling his pencil in his hands. The boy glared at Hyunjin but others giggled at Hyunjin’s words. You both were popular in different ways.

“Moving on, any other ideas?” A junior girl raised her hand slowly and you gave her a gentle smile to egg her on. “Yes?”

The girl adjusted her glasses and fiddled with her long sleeves. “Um, I, um, so I was thinking, like since we need more money for other things throughout the year, I like Heejun’s idea of raising money. But instead, maybe we could have a photoshoot area for the students to come and take photos..? I mean I know I would want to make these memories last as long as possible if I were them.” You thought hard about her words, but you gave her a wide smile.

“I love it! Maybe we could even ask someone in the photography class to help us out with that.” You immediately gave a sheepish smile to Hyunjin, who happened to be the president of that club. He sighed and nodded. “I’ll get on that when I see all of them on Monday.” You nodded and continued the meeting.

Soon, the meeting came to an end as a couple of decoration ideas and food ideas kids had in mind. “Good job today you guys, this will turn out fantastic!” You cheered as the kids had bright smiles on their faces. Everyone hurried out, probably finishing their multiple projects, essays, and homework since it was almost winter break.

You saw Hyunjin was still packing up his bags and as he walked out of the door, you caught up to him. “Hey, Hyunjin.” The boy didn’t even turn around. You held in your yell at him and just kept up with his pace. “So, thank you for being willing to ask the photography club for us, that means a lot.” You thanked him. You hated being on his bad side, especially since he was the vice president of leadership.

He stopped walking and turned to face you finally. “You know, you can be fake to everyone else but me y/n. I’m not that important nor do I care for your compliments.” The boy was impossible, you couldn’t even compliment him with him being rude.

“I’m not being fake, I very much appreciate what you are doing but I guess do whatever you want with my thanks.” You turned to walk the other way but you felt him stare at you.

Usually you would never turn back, but you were curious to what he wanted to say. “What?” You barked. He raised a brow and said nothing for a few moments.

“Nothing, I was just trying to wonder how you would look if you were actually happy with what you were doing.” You felt your blood boil at his comment. Of course you were happy with being in leadership, you were president and a member for 3 years!

“Well that’s rude especially since you’re only in this class for it to look good on your college apps.” You snapped back. Hyunjin was the only person in this entire school who could ruffle your feathers. The boy gasped fakely and put his hand over his chest. You felt your anger pick up.

“Wow, are you trying to say we’re more alike than I thought? You wound me, y/n.” You rolled your eyes. “I like being in leadership, Hyunjin, it’s not just for a college app or anything.” You felt your voice pick up but you tried to keep it steady.

Hyunjin knew the effect he was having on you but he simply just laughed. “Really? You mean you like smiling at people and never getting mad at them and never putting down ideas simply because they’re stupid and idiotic?” Hyunjin scoffed at you and took a few steps towards you. “You’re like a fucking machine, you have zero emotions.”

Your anger was overrun by sadness as he said those words. But also, that was the goal you were trying to achieve: if you didn’t show emotion, no one could knock you down a peg... right?

“I have plenty of emotions.” The words came out of your mouth, but even they seemed frail in your ears. The boy picked up on the small emotion, but if he noticed, he didn’t say anything.

He just shrugged his shoulders and turned towards the door. “Ok, y/n, then talk to me next time you show them.”

He left, leaving you in the hallway to think about your emotions and re-evaluate your life. You had plenty of emotions! Just because you didn’t want to show them, why did that mean they weren’t real? And why do people act as if happy isn’t an emotion?

You jumped into your car and let out a deep sigh. “Don’t let him into your head, you’re fine.” You cranked up the radio in your car and listened to the sad tunes of your spotify playlist, hoping that someday you would feel comfortable feeling vulnerable in front of others.

-----

Your heart still felt heavy as you opened the door to your house, revealing your dog who was happily waiting for you. You slammed the door shut and bent down to pet er. “Aww what a good girl.” You said in that higher tone reserved for pets and babies.

“Home already sweetie? The meeting end early today?” You nodded and set your jacket in the closet. Your mom was sitting next to the fireplace, reading a book as she normally did. “Yup, there wasn’t much to talk about besides the dance and most of us knew what the dance was supposed to look like anyways.”

“Hm, great! Hope it turns out nicely. I’m leaving to pick up Yeongue from his piano lessons soon so can you make sure to walk the dog.” You nodded and at your response, she went back to being lost in a world of words.

You somewhat envied your mom. She was a successful lawyer who seemed to work, work, and work. That was until she quit her job. She quit once she gave birth to your younger brother. She told you that she refused to not grow up with her kids and wanted to make things right with Yeongue. You tried not to think about how that meant you were raised wrong.

Although she had a point, you grew up being raised by nannies and neighbors who were willing to step in and help your mom. You rarely saw your mom as a kid, so it was somewhat of an experience to see her so often. Unfortunately, as you got into high school you had already made a life and didn’t stay at home. You always hated being at home. It made you feel empty and alone.

You’re like a fucking machine, you have like zero emotions.

You turned up the music in your earbuds and tried to ignore the outside world. There was nothing wrong with only showing people your good side.

There's nothing wrong with me.

Suddenly, there was a soft knock on the door. You pulled off your earbuds quickly. “Yes?”

“Hey hon, it seems like it’s only us two tonight. Your brother is staying at a friends house tonight and staying til tomorrow afternoon.” You nodded and got ready to go downstairs for dinner.

It wasn’t awkward, but it wasn’t the most pleasing experience.

You both never spoke that much to each other while eating dinner. You slurped up your noodles as your mom had made pho. You watched videos on your phone while she read her book.

“So, how was school?” You looked up at her and shrugged.

“The usual. The meeting went smoothly except for one kid who suggested a petting zoo in the middle of the dance but I fixed the problem.” Your mom let out a loud bark of laughter that made you flinch.

“Haha, sorry honey, it’s just that you said you fixed the problem. ‘Cause kids being dumb are not a serious problem besides their own.” You shrugged. “I guess so.” You had nothing else to say. You could tell your mom was constantly trying to establish a strong relationship with you, but you didn’t necessarily want one. You’ve had a business-like relationship with her your entire life and you liked it that way.

Do you really though? You shoved the annoying thought at the back at of your mind.

You finished dinner quickly and smiled at your mom. “Thanks for the food mom, it was really good.” Your mom smiled back at you. “I’m glad, I know pho is one of your favorites.”

You sauntered back up to your room, ready to finally leave the interaction with someone who was trying to get close to you.

And somehow, you never let anyone do that.

-----

“Here’s the last essay you guys will have before break. Thank me for not assigning it over break.” It took your entire being not to roll your eyes. It’s not like your other teachers didn’t assign an essay, test, or project already.

She plopped a paper on your desk and you skimmed through the requirements. It was a creative writing assignment. Your least favorite. You favored a structured essay that had a reason and rhyme to it, creative writing was basically anything a person thought to write a story out.

“I know it’s almost time for break, meaning your other teachers are probably on your backs as well so I wanted to make this assignment fun. Creative writing is what I specialize in, so I hope you all enjoy this assignment.”

“Wow, creative writing, how fun right?” You heard Hyunjin whisper in your ear from behind you. You had English with the boy... unfortunately.

You shrugged. “Not really into that stuff but never really seriously wrote a short story before.” You spoke somewhat honestly. You never wrote one because you had no ideas of what to write. You thought that every single trope and scenario of life has been written already, so what was the point?

Hyunjin scanned the requirements and shrugged. “I love writing a good story. Usually I’ll write one based off my photos.” You smiled at him.

“Oh wow, that’s really cool.” The boy raised a brow and leaned back in his chair. “You’re doing it again.” You tilted your head in confusion.

“What am I doing?” “Being fake.”

At those words, you just sighed and shook your head, not wanting to fight with the boy any longer. You wanted to be nice to him, and everyone really, but he just made it so hard.

“What do you do for fun?” You heard him ask. You hesitated turning around, but it would be rude if you didn’t.

“Um, why do you ask?” Hyunjin wriggled his eyebrows and shrugged. “I don’t know, because I’m curious.” You thought about the question, panning through all the things you did and remember loving.

Nothing came to mind immediately.

“Um, to be honest, I kind of like learning about new things.” The boy scoffed, revealing his minty gum in his mouth. “Wow.”

You didn’t bother to ask him about his reaction since you already gave him an answer. You thought he was done talking to you until you heard a light whisper.

“You’re more depressing than I thought you were.”

You didn’t bother to snap back at him this time; you had nothing to say.

-----

It was Tuesday, meaning there was another leadership meeting. There were two each week, on Tuesdays and Fridays.

The meeting was especially quick this time. “Hyunjin, did you talk to photography club about helping out during the dance?” You asked. The boy adjusted his hair and nodded. You noticed all the girls swooned at the move. Hyunjin was only mean to you, but to everyone else, he was kind and sweet. You’ve known him since middle school where he used to be shy and sensitive, but now he’s more confident, but sometimes you do see that middle school awkwardness.

“Yup, I have two people who are excited to take some pictures for us.” That popped a smile on your face. “Great! Also, is it agreed that we should get some props for the mini photoshoots?” Everyone nodded in agreement at your words. You clapped your hands together.

“Perfect.” You wrote down that you needed to buy some cute props into your phone. “K, this was great, you’re all free to go now.” The students, of course, ran out of the room as soon as the meeting was done.

Hyunjin was slower than usual packing up so you went to ask him about his photography club. “Hey Hyunjin, can I have your number so I can stay updated about the kids in the photography club? And if you have them, their contact info as well?” Hyunjin chuckled and crossed his arms.

“If you wanted my number so badly, you could’ve just asked for it.” You felt a small blush forming on your cheeks, but you frowned at the size of his ego.

“I-”

“I’m joking, y/n, take a joke for once. I know this is so you can control something else in your life like you love doing.” He held out his phone and plopped it in your hand. You gave it back to him after you were done. “Thanks.”

You walked away from him, thankful he didn’t say anything else to you.

-----

“Y/n! You’re home?” You heard your mom call out. You held in the sigh you had from hearing her voice. Sometimes it just irritated you, just normal teenager things you assumed.

“Yup.” You responded lamely. You saw her laying down on the couch, looking tired and haggard. You frowned and went over to touch her forehead.

“No, don’t touch me. I’m probably really contagious. I have a fever I think and it might be the flu.” You immediately jumped away from her and she chuckled. “It’s fine, but can you do me a favor?”

“Of course.”

“So, Yeongue is at his piano lessons right now, and he needs to be picked up at 5. Can you just pick him up for me? The address is written on the counter.” You walked over to the counter and picked up the note.

“Yeah, I’ll head over there now since it’s close to five already.” Your mom looked at the clock and saw how late it already was. “Oh wow... I should go to sleep now. Thanks for doing this.” You gave her a bright smile and nodded as she wobbled into her room. You stared at the address and sighed.

You got back into your car and zoomed over to the place. You had tons of work to do and you were not in the mood to play games.

You knocked on the door and a woman answered the door, probably Yeongue’s teacher. You gave her one of your bright smiles and introduced yourself.

“Hi, I’m y/n, Yeongue’s older sister.” She smiled at you and welcomed you in. “Of course, you’re as beautiful as your mother.” You let out a kind laugh and shook your head. “Thank you so much.”

The house wasn’t huge, but it wasn’t cramped either. And it wasn’t all too clean besides the piano room. “Sorry for the mess, I have 3 boys.” You stepped over the multiple lego pieces on the ground, praying to God that you wouldn’t feel that pain. “No worries, Yeongue is messy himself. I feel like I have to follow his every move so that he cleans up.” The teacher laughed and led you to where Yeongue was.

He was sitting on the couch with...

The boy’s eyes widened and you had to keep yours from widening. “Hyunjin, this is y/n, Yeongue’s older sister.” You laughed and pretended to play it cool.

“Oh yes, Hyunjin and I know each other from school actually. We are in leadership together.” You informed. Her eyes widened and she laughed as well, patting you on the back lightly. “Wow, isn’t that a small world.” You tried to be friendly with Hyunjin, but he wasn’t into it.

“Now, I have to take Yeongue back to the piano room for a few minutes, you two will be fine out here alone?” You nodded to her and she guided your brother to the room.

You two stood in silence.

“This is weird.” You rolled your eyes since he wasn’t looking at you. “Why is it weird?”

Hyunjin glared at you. “I don’t know, maybe because you, the girl who annoys me to no end, is standing in my living room laughing it up with my mom?” You picked at your chipping nail polish, reminding yourself to re-do them later.

“Your mom is sweet. And I’m sorry I annoy you, I’m not trying too.” You heard him let out a grumble.

“You see? This is what I’m talking about, this is what annoys me!” You were now confused. “Why? I barely said anything.”

Hyunjin ran his fingers through his hair and sighed. “Exactly! You’re supposed to be mad at me for calling you annoying.”

You raised a brow. “So you’re annoyed because I’m not mad?” Hyunjin took a deep breath and shook his head.

“Whatever, I stick to my words, you’re the dullest person to talk to.”

“Yes, like you’re the best at a conversation as well.” He paused at your words as you held in a smile.

“Did you just make a joke?” He questioned. You shrugged your shoulders. “Maybe.”

Hyunjin stood in his living room, examining your expression. “You’re weird, y/n.”

You wanted to comment back, but you saw him already walking away from you, leaving you to wait alone in the living room.

------

“Crowning. The best part of the winter formal.” Usually there is only a homecoming and prom king and queen, but at your school, the winter formal is where you wanna be crowned. Everyone takes holiday season to the next level, and you weren’t going to make the people mad.

“What about it?” Hyunjin mumbled. You hummed and looked over your notes. “Well we need to buy new crowns for the king and queen, any suggestions on where to buy them or what they should look like?” No one raised their hands, but they did seem to be lost in thought.

“Is this because you are planning on winning winter formal queen, miss y/n?” Hyunjin said. This time, there was no bite in his bark but you did hear a teasing tone. You let out nervous laughter. “I don’t expect to win winter formal queen.” You simply replied. Hyunjin shook his head silently in laughter.

“He’s right, everyone knows you’re going to be crowned queen, the whole school already knows. You’ve done so much for this school.” One of the underclassmen said, which warmed your heart. You gave her a small smile as well as the others.

“Well, it doesn’t matter who the king and queen are, they’ll still be having crowns.”

“How about ones that resemble a snowflakes? Every year, they have the same, boring, silver tiaras, but for the winter formal, we should have something prettier than just a simple silver, right?” Hyunjin suggested along with the other students who became rowdy at the idea.

You smiled at the idea. “Perfect, a crown that embodies winter. You wanna buy them?” Hyunjin nodded at the idea. “Great, meeting is over then! The formal is next week, I hope you all have bought your tickets, leadership is required to attend and help with set up and take down, as usual.” You saw kids roll their eyes but you couldn’t change the rules.

----

December 19.

It was a hard day for you to swallow each year, but you somehow got through it. Alone too.

The leaves of trees were trickling down, freezing in the street. You stood right under one, your feet buried in laughable amounts of snow. You bent down, and brushed off the snow that was covering the writing on the headstone.

“I miss you, dad.” You whispered softly to no one in particular. Your father had died five years ago, but the pain of his passing still sat heavy in your chest. He had died when your brother was just born and your mom never really talked about your dad after Yeongue was born. She was always focused on Yeongue. And only him.

Tears rarely dripped down your face when thinking about your dad as you had grown used to the feeling of emptiness. You bent down and sent down fresh flowers and laid them over his grave. The bright flowers looking beautiful and vibrant, tuning out the death of the cemetery for a few short moments.

You were lost in your thoughts until you heard your name being called. “Y/n?” You spun around quickly, surprised to hear your name.

Your eyes dimmed at who it was. “Um, hey Hyunjin.” He was wearing a puffy jacket, although he still looked effortlessly good. His hair was back in a beanie and his stunning face was open to stare at. There was no malice in his face, but rather sadness and shock.

“Sorry, I didn’t mean to scare you, I just was shocked to see you here, that’s all.” You were suspicious of his motives, knowing the boy was never up to any good when it came to you. He stood next to a grave in the same area as yours, making you feel slightly uncomfortable and awkward.

You hated when other people watching you mourn, it felt like they were studying to see when you would break. And you would not break; not in front of Hyunjin, not in front of your father.

“I’m sorry about your father, I’ve known you for a long time but I don’t think I’ve ever said that.” You could hear the sincerity in his voice. You gave him a tight smile. “Thanks, that means a lot.”

No it doesn’t, it doesn’t mean anything to you. A gentle whisper echoed throughout your mind filling you with unknown anger. You hated feeling insincere, but you never knew how to put passion into anything.

“I’m shocked, even when you’re mourning you’re not crying.” You felt anger bubble in your stomach at his words.

“Some people deal with grief in different ways. Plus it’s been five years, I’ve had lots of time to mourn.” Never enough, it’ll never be enough.

Hyunjin scoffed. “I’m visiting my brother, he died when I was 4, so I barely remember him. But whenever I think of him, I feel such emptiness.. sadness... and even guilt sometimes. Sometimes I feel like I could’ve save him, even though he was sick, it’s crazy I know. But still, I feel so much when I think about him without knowing him truly.”

You felt the judgement of his words which made you snap. “Wow, do you want a gold star for all of the feelings you just spilled?” The statement came out harsher than expected and his eyes widened at your words. You could feel the shock and surprise radiating off of him.

He shook his head, trying to brush off your clapback. “You know, your brother talks a lot about your mom and how much he likes her. Then he talks about his sister, he tells me he barely knows you and that you’re always nice and that you’re always smiling. He tells me that your mom plays with him the most and that you’re always out.” You stood in wonder, trying to understand what he was trying to get at.

“Your point? My brother is the youngest, he gets the most attention.” You could hear your voice getting snappier and snappier and you knew Hyunjin was testing you.

“My point? It’s okay to show emotion, it’s ok to let yourself be vulnerable.” He whispered softly. You felt no love in his words, it was just simple advice.

“Is that all you had to say to me?” You snapped. His eyes shook in surprise.

“I-I mean I guess. You should-”

“You know what? Why am I even letting you run my life? Do you just get off having me feel uncomfortable? If you know I hate being vulnerable so much, then why do you make me want to yell at you or cry or anything? What is your deal, Hyunjin?” You weren’t yelling yet, but it was the most stern you’ve ever been with him.

“I’m not trying to-”

“Well you are! You call me a fake bitch like every week and you constantly remind me of how empty I am, how dare you walk around like you know every body when you don’t even know me at all.” You closed your eyes and turned around, walking back to your car.

“Y/n! I’m sorry, please.” You paid no attention to him as you got in your car and drove away, feeling like you exposed too much of yourself to the boy who didn’t deserve your emotions.

You knew your mom was home and you did not want to go inside. You took a deep breath and opened the door.

“Y/n?” She called out. In an instant, you felt your walls come crashing down. You didn’t trust yourself to speak. “Y/n?” She called out again. You felt your eyes swell with tears, unable to control your emotions any longer. Everyone has a breaking point. You had reached yours.

“Mom?” You felt your voice break which caused her to get up from the couch and examine you. She saw the tears in your eyes that were threatening to spill. She said nothing as she pulled you into a strong embrace. “I miss dad.” You whispered into her ear.

She said nothing and patted your hair. You felt your tears spill onto her neatly combed hair. “I miss him too.” She whispered.

And for the first time ever, you felt at home in your own house.

------

You didn’t talk to Hyunjin at all after your outburst. You were ashamed of it.

How could I have left myself become so stupid? This is exactly what he wanted.

Friday afternoon rolled around, meaning you had a meeting for leadership. You took a look at yourself in the mirror. Your eyes were bright, yet they had no purpose to their brightness. Your hair was neatly dyed from your last appointment and it made you look alive and vibrant. Your makeup was gently applied and your hair was up in a ponytail, as it usually was.

“Why? Why am I letting him get in my head?” You whispered to yourself. You couldn’t help but think about Hyunjin’s constant words and reminders. You weren’t a bad person. You were a really good person. But is that what life only is? Only to just be a good person? And could you ever really be a good person if you weren’t a person in the first place?

You stared at yourself longer and then snapped. You wiped off all your makeup and ripped your hair out of the ponytail, letting the messiness spill onto your shoulders. You took off your blouse and pulled on one of your hoodies you only wore at home. You looked at yourself once more and didn’t feel good.

So you left the house. It had been a while since you pushed your own boundaries.

You got so many stares. People were whispering around you, wondering what happened to you. You weren’t smiling very widely, and you simply just looked like a normal student, but you weren’t a normal student, you were y/n.

English was your first period and you plopped down in your seat in front of Hyunjin whose eyes never left your body.

“Um, are you ok?” He asked nervously. You whipped your head towards him, making him flinch. “Just peachy, how are you, Hyunjin?”

He gulped. “Fine, just fine.”

It was Friday, meaning there was another leadership meeting. You could tell everyone was looking at you with curiosity.

“So, meeting will be short today as the dance is today. Who is help setting up, to be honest, I don’t want to set up the entire dance since it’s my last one.” At your harsh words, you saw a large amount of hands fly up, probably confused at your behavior. “Good. Meeting adjourned, let’s hit the cafeteria.” The students rushed out, whispering about you to their friends.

“Um, y/n, I’m going to ask you one more time, are you ok?” Hyunjin asked. You spun around and glared at him. “Once again, I’m going to tell you that I’m just fine.”

You tried to walk towards the cafeteria but he stopped you.

“Ok wait, look, I’m really, really sorry y/n. I didn’t mean to be an insensitive jerk. Just.. I’m an asshole.” He waited patiently for your response as you raised a brow.

“You are an asshole.” You said with a smile. At that moment, it seemed like the bad blood between you guys had faltered. He smiled too and took a peak at your reaction. “Um, I am and I just realized that I was always wondering why you never really showed emotion besides being bright and happy and I realized that I sorta don’t want to see you sad or mad either. I’ve just been mean to you, trying to push your buttons, but obviously no one deserves that.”

“And I’m sorry for being such a dick to you.” You shrugged and put your hands in your pockets.

“Apology accepted I guess.” You replied lamely, stepping around him. “Less talking, more decorating.”

“Yes m’aam.”

-----

It took hours to decorate the cafeteria. And it left only an hour to go home and get dressed and ready for the dance.

You sighed as you were hurrying to curl your hair and do your makeup. It was your last winter formal, and everyone expected you to get Winter Formal Queen. And you admit, you had to be prepared for everything. Your mom had gifted you with a beautiful pale white dress with a blue hue of sparkles around it. It looked like you belonged in a winter wonderland.

You took a look at yourself in the mirror and felt content with your look.

You hurried down the stairs and saw your mom waiting with her camera. She had tears in her eyes. “You look beautiful.” She whispered. You smiled and posed for her on the staircase.

“Mom, I’m gonna be late.” She smiled and kissed the top of your head. “Sorry, go have a fun time and text me when you’re coming home.” You nodded and got into your car. You never cared for a date nor did you ever to go in a big group with your friends. You never had gotten that one group of friends, you just made friends with everyone.

But you were fine that way. For now at least.

You arrived at the school and saw that it was filled with people. Most dances, people didn’t bother to show until an hour into it, but the winter formal was important.

People greeted you as they saw you from afar and some even took pictures with you.

“Woah, y/n, you look like a queen tonight! I’m excited for you to get that crown!” One of your classmates said. You just smiled politely. “We’ll see!”

The entire inside looked like a winter wonderland and everyone inside looked stunning. You felt proud at your work and promised you would go easy on yourself this holiday season.

“Wow, you clean up nicely, y/n.” You spun around and saw Hyunjin staring at you. He was wearing gray slacks and a white button up top. He didn’t bother to wear a blazer but he had his earrings on and his hair was nicely styled.

“I’m always cleaned up.” You joked. He chuckled at your response. “You’re right, I guess I’m the one who cleaned up nicely.” You took one good look at him and realized that he could be wearing a potato sack and look good. But let him believe he was ugly when he was looking normal. Kept his ego at bay.

Soon the party kicked off and everyone was throwing their bodies around on the dance floor. You were dancing with all the senior girls who were letting themselves go as it was their last winter formal. Your hair was messy from the dancing and you spun around with your friends, letting the stress drain from your body. You looked up and saw the photoshoot doing well, thankful Hyunjin pulled through.

“ALRIGHT, how is everyone feeling out there?!” The DJ yelled. The crowd of kids screamed back and the DJ chuckled loudly into the mic. “Awesome, awesome, now, it’s finally the moment you’ve ALL been waiting for!” The crowd “ooed and awed” at the announcement.

“The crowning of the king and queen! Let’s see who won the poll!” A teacher came on stage and took the mic from the DJ and looked into the crowd.

“I would love to announce the king and queen of the 2018 winter formal.” You felt your heart beating fast, even though you didn’t expect the crown.

“The 2018 Winter Formal Queen goes to.... y/n!” The crowd erupted into cheers and you felt yourself being pushed onto the stage by your large group of friends. You felt the crown settle on your head and you felt powerful, stunning, and beautiful. Hyunjin really did a nice job of picking out the crown.

“Now, your 2018 Winter Formal King is... Hwang Hyunjin!” The crowed cheered and you saw Hyunjin being pushed onto the stage by his rowdy group of friends. Everyone expected that, he was the most popular guy in your grade... and the best looking.

He stood on stage next to you, looking dapper but also sweaty. He had a crown placed on his head, not nearly as nice as yours. He probably knew he would win the king and didn’t want to draw attention to himself.

“Now, the annual king and queen dance!” Slow music started to play and you suddenly felt super nervous. It was a known thing that Hyunjin was an amazing dancer... and you? You had two left feet.

“You ready?” He whispered softly. You nodded and wrapped your hands around his neck and his hands carefully slid around your waist. You heard some whistles and hollering, but you ignored it. He smiled widely at you, and you felt yourself smiling back. “You look really pretty when you smile.” He whispered in your ear. You chuckled at his statement. “I’m always smiling, Hyunjin, I thought that’s what makes me fake.” You teased.

He rolled his eyes. “There are tons of smiles and this one was real. I’m glad because I’m happy as well.” You felt his grip get tighter as the song picked up.

“Why are you happy?”

“Because I made the Ice Queen smile.” You let out a bark of laughter at the nickname. “Wow, did you make that up yourself?” He nodded innocently.

“No more fake bitch?” He shook his head hurriedly. “Nope, I hate that nickname, I don’t know why I ever found it ok to be a dick to you.” You nodded and let yourself melt into his arms.

“Why Ice Queen?” You whispered softly. He chuckled softly and looked thoughtfully into your eyes. “Because! You barely show emotion and if you haven’t noticed, you just won Winter Formal Queen.” You let out even more chuckles at the stupid description.

“What? You don’t like it?” You shrugged. “I guess I like it.” You both said nothing for a while as the DJ called everyone onto the dance floor.

“I was wrong about you, y/n.” You stared at him so he would continue. “I was too busy judging you for what you did wrong and I never really judged myself. I also hide my feelings and my emotions but hide it with anger.” You sighed into his shoulder.

“No, I mean, you were wrong for being mean to me, but also I do hide my emotions and push people away. I’m now trying to let myself be vulnerable.. so thanks I guess.” He smiled and held you closer.

“No problem, Ice Queen. And if you ever need a friend, I’m here for you.”

You patted his back softly. “I’m here for you too.”

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