#that's how much she's missed anin

[respectthepetty]

The Loyal Pin - Episode 8

¡Sorpresa, cabronas! Blue Beauty Anin is back in the palace, and she is already causing issues for her color-coded brothers!

And for her Pink Person Pin!

So as much as I appreciate Anin being so focused on her studies, because she wanted to graduate early, I'm glad Pin called her out for not communicating and thinking this surprise would make her forget that she was basically ignored FOR MONTHS!

But thankfully Anin knows how to make it up to her (in bed) (THAT'S WHAT SHE SAID!)

And now they can be color-coded girls in love and live happily ever after! Yes? YES!

Well, that's until Anin's color-coded brothers tell her she needs to start thinking about getting married . . . to a man.

But because this a GL, like queer magic, all the girls start showing up to Anin's yard for her milkshake like her sister-in-law with her sister, who just happens to be the girl who tried to assault Anin in her bed.

But nobody cares because Anin's color-coded brother and aunt (WHO IS WEARING PURPLE!) are planning a formal welcome back party for Anin which will literally bring all the girls to her yard for her milkshake (and other treats).

Anin is less than thrilled believing this is a ploy to get her to meet marriage prospects, but her brother promises that isn't what is happening.

All color-coded royals do is lie.

But our boy Pranot is going to make this party spectacular even if he has to hot glue and duct tape everything together by himself, and this is not me stereotyping the gays, but . . . . . . he has to be gay because only a gay man or a pageant mom could turn it out like this with such short notice.

So Pranot creates a party fit for color-coded royals overnight.

And the aunt, who is in her color (finally!) has the food covered.

But she can't stay, because she has a guest, in her house, waiting for her. *whispers* lesbian shenanigans are afoot

And to nobody's surprise, marriage prospects are at this party and lined up IN RED to greet our Blue Beauty. I know Pranot sent them a detailed document outlining the dress code, so if they were paying any attention, they would've known to wear BLUE to impress the princess and not RED to impress her siblings. Who do they want to marry?! Apparently not our lesbian!

Then Aon shows up looking like her and her sister thought this was a costume party and they are an orange and a cherry, which means the only time we have seen Aon is pink is when she was trying to slide into Anin's bed, and now she is on my list!

Sidenote: Is the brother's fiancée May from My Marvellous Dream is You and The Sign?! How did I miss that?! Obviously the outfit is doing it's job because it made me notice her in a room full of other beautiful women, so I'll quit hating on these fruity outfits now.

Actually, I won't because it's clear to me the two oranges from the orange tree belong together, so if Kuea really doesn't care about marrying a lesbian since he wants to Pin so badly, why not just marry another lesbian named Aon? Makes color-coded sense to me!

But then there is the issue of my babygirl Ueangfah who also showed up to Anin's yard party for her milkshake.

But I think I have someone for her too! It's not a color-coded match, but it could be a lavender marriage!

The queers have been doing it for centuries. Just getting married and throwing amazing garden parties. Fun times!

But Anin, in her pretty blue dress had too much fun being possessive of Pin because she was getting a little unwanted attention from a man when ALL OF THESE WOMEN WERE BASICALLY HAND-FEEDING ANIN FOOD AND THEIR BODIES ALL NIGHT! (I'm a little peeved at Anin, pero whatevs). So Pin, in her lovely purple and pink dress, has to drag her girlfriend home which is luckily across the lawn.

And because Anin is westernized now, she is white girl wasted, meaning she wants to make out with her girl anywhere and everywhere because eff decorum!

So Pin has to tie her up with a blue piece of fabric. (Where did this come from?!)

But it isn't for safety reasons. No! It's for ~kinky~ reasons.

And in the midst of some delightful girl-on-girl action, we get the rudest flashback to Anin's older brother checking on Anin since he was worried about her drinking, yet stumbling upon her exchanging colors and tongues with Pin, you know, like the French do.

So the episode ends with him finally realizing the big secret that everyone has been keeping from him including the servants -

He was the only straight person at that party tonight.

[humaninpogresss77]

I really love how the show looks so good but also they took a lot of budget to make sure that Anin and Pin look freaking extra hot.

They are so perfect every episode I fall in love more with them.

I also adore that they gave us 8 episodes of kinda drama free to prepare us for all the hell that is coming.

Everyone that are talking like Kuea is a nuance kinda are missing the point of the kind of power a women in the 50s lack. Even Pin and Anin that are part of the royalty somehow don’t have a say over any of those kind of decisions. And it sucks so much but is also like it was back then.

I wonder if Patt has the answer to this, as the “friend” coming to visit makes me think more and more she is one of the queers.

[chainedupgirlsblog]

✎ Commentary of Ep 6 ~ The Loyal Pin (Thai GL-2024) - Part 1

This episode’s summary according to Prik:

Yeah... Pretty much this episode was full of (squeaking sound) and Princesses rolling in bed like lovesick teenagers. I mean, look at Anin’s face. She did it! She won lesbianism and achieved the impossible, got her woman.

Congratulations, Princess! You’re one step ahead of all of us 😭👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼

This is gonna be a long one again. I’d recommend get comfortable as I catch up!

We start right where we left off and Oh. My. God. They’re the cutest, softest, hottest, i can’t even explain how much I loved this scene. It’s just so 🤌🏼

First they’re kissing, nonstop and all of a sudden Pin stops and pull away softly—out of breath. Anil asks what’s wrong (in the softest tone of voice, mind you) and Pin says she couldn’t breathe.

Like, girl. Anil. Chill~ 🥴

Anil giggles as you can see in the picture above and does, and says the craziest thing. First she kiss Pin on the forehead calling her adorable (how dare she!) and THEN SHE SAYS: I promise I’ll be very gentle…

Girrlll. I told you to chill!!

She’s insane. That was just the beginning and I was dying already!

Then they go on with the kisses (the damn kisses. That we here loud and clear)

Anil doesn’t waste any time and as she devours Pin she starts undressing her. The way she does it tho (I’m hyperventilating) she slides that tiny little strip off her shoulder in such a gracious way I felt like she was undressing me. Got shy and all. HELP.

And Pin just lets her, she lets her do whatever the princess wants and oh, she’s starving. She’s been starving for years!

Anyway, Anil continues now kissing down Pin’s neck and can i take a moment to appreciate how beautiful Freen’s hair just flows on her back like waterfall??? ART. God, she’s gorgeous!

Then we have Anil going lower and lower and I’m losing it a bit more and more. Wondering how far the Princess’ knowledge will take us…

She lays Pin down, very softly very gently just as she said she will!

And well, what can I say. I’m impressed on how vast Anil’s knowledge is! The boarding school has clearly teach her some important things! Such a great investment for the crown and the government ig (I’m not sure how Thai royalty worked back then)

The way Anil look at Pin throughout the entire scene?? The way Pin holds onto her neck as she smiles all bliss-out?? Losing my goddamn mind.

Then we got the morning after 🙌🏼

And aren’t they cute?

They’re extremely cute I CANT 😭😭😭

The way Anil asks for a kiss and Pin immediately give it to her aghjskfkf

Then we have this sequence of Pin’s memories if I’m not mistaken and it’s the cutest thing ever. They’re too cute for my well being. Honestly 😭

Anil’s dimples (Becky’s) are the most adorable thing ever. Pin is so right for wanting to kiss them and pinch them and eat-

Anil, instead, she doesn’t only want to kiss Pin on the cheek. Nope. She wants to devour her. Are we even surprised? She just did that the previous night…

They’re so soft. I love the way they look at each other. The way they smile at each other. Bumping the other’s nose? Pecking the other and kissing her hand? Got me giggling and shit 😔

And finally resting her head on her chest once again. Just kill me please.

I can’t bare this suffering that is being single and lonely anymore 😭😭😭

Anil holding the back of Pin’s head the entire time. PLEASEEEE

Then we go on with the day and they miss each other as the clingy pair that they are. Anil misses Pin so much she goes and help her with her chores. If that’s not true love I don’t know what it is 😅

They have a cute little moment under the freshly washed sheets and omg they’re so in love!

Once they’re done with the chores (I think) they go on a cute little date, holding hands and sharing food. I’m not sure if this montage is real or their imagination but it’s cute.

Everything in this episode it’s just fucking cute, at least till the two first parts.

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I know I’m yapping too much but can’t help it. it’s not favorite moments anymore but a commentary. lol. Here’s Part 2

[subqtaneoussmut]

The Tea Girl's Gambit, Chapter Fourteen

As we both walked down the corridor, Aralia Cordivar tried to engage me, for no earthly reason I could discern, in what must have been the most stilted, awkward conversation ever experienced. By anyone. Ever. It was mostly one-sided, because all my attention was going to panic suppression.

How was my second term progressing, anyway? Did she really just say that? How much did she know about me? My cheeks were burning, my palms itchy.

“Um, its going fine, Factor,” I stammered weakly.

I longed to flee. Was she going to follow me all the way back to my work station? She was the worst possible witness to my project, even the half-cleaned remains of it.

We finally reached the lab and I bowed out, babbling about glassware that needed cleaning. I opened the door and my heart instantly calcified with dread as she strolled in after me. Time seemed to be moving so slowly, and yet much too quickly.

“Is this your project, then? Not for class, is it?” She was the very picture of relaxed unconcern—it was absolutely nothing like her teaching persona. My mind was scrambling for a way to make sense of what was happening here.

I hurried after her. “Y-yes, Miss. I mean, no, it’s—it’s just the—I was just cleaning up,” I finished feebly.

She wheeled and her eyes were alight with something like fascination. “What is it, if you don’t mind my asking?”

I thanked the fates that I had a canned response prepared. “I’m studying the carminative properties of substance LS-32, and how they compare to those of the more commonly studied LS-17,” I said promptly.

“Ah.” Her eyes glinted.

Risking rudeness, I grabbed the alembic and started washing it out in the sink. My hands were shaking. I needed to slow down. ‘Slow is smooth,’ Gresha rumbled in my head, ‘and smooth is fast.’

To my dismay, Aralia was still looking over the remains of my project. “Isn’t a recursive binding of medroxy-anine to fentonite considered too fragile for working with the LS-class substances?”

I cursed internally. How had she put that together? She’d recognized that binding and the reagents from...what? The emerald ring of crust I’d left on the rim of a beaker?

How was I going to explain my decision to use a binding I’d learned in her class, a binding that was specialized for the delicate internal functions that concerned Apomasaics? I turned slowly, my mind flailing to formulate a response. I opened my mouth—

She cut me off. “Don’t answer that.” She waved apologetically. “Sometimes, I forget I’m not in my own lab. Please forgive my rudeness.”

I gaped at her like an idiot.

“N-no forgiveness needed, Factor.”

She nodded at me, turned on her heel, and left. I stared after her for a long moment, dumbfounded. Then I finished cleaning and got out of there before anything else could happen to me.

~ ~ ~

Abruptly, the exam rush was on me, and I had no time to think about anything—not the mysterious noble who possessed one of my hairs, nor the way she’d grabbed me, nor the goosebumps I’d gotten from it, nor the heavy purse she’d bribed me with (enough coin that I felt my chest lighten, as if a weight on it had lifted), nor whatever she’d needed my silence for (some very particular reagents, probably), nor Aralia Cordivar’s sudden interest in me, nor the way Alexi was starting to look at me instead of through me, nor the ever-narrowing edge I was balancing on.

Even before exams really began, I seemed to be working literally all the time. My thoughts seemed sluggish and thinned with exhaustion. And yet, I felt better than I’d ever felt?

I was dosing myself daily, marveling at the changes in my body. I’d tweaked my factoring for this latest batch, with a specific focus on, well, my junk, and the changes were impressive. I was paying for them, though. My appetites were enormous. I seemed not to be able to sleep enough. I craved food almost as much as I craved sleep. And I was always horny.

And yet, my appetites didn’t feel bad, necessarily. They were paradoxically helping me feel increasingly alive inside my own body for the first time I could remember. My felt sense of my body had always been opaque and distant, muffled by the screen of maleness. No longer, though—sensation and feeling lapped inside of me like clear, calm, dark water.

I felt the complaints of my body, felt aching muscle and smooth skin, sore nipples and tender crotch, felt some bones become supple and widen as others narrowed. It felt good—reshaping to fit myself, learning to follow the pulse of my wanting. And oh, was I wanting.

~ ~ ~

The lab was a seething beehive of activity, but for some reason all I could think about was the swept-back way one particular student across the room was wearing her hair, and the slender curve of her neck...I wondered if I could ever—

“Hey, you! For grief’s sake, are you daft? You!”

I snatched my attention back up, my cheeks rapidly heating. How long had I been staring? I’d been caught staring so much lately. A glaring boy in furs towered over me, flapping a reagent request form. He shoved the paper into my chest and I flinched as the soreness in my breasts blossomed acutely. I again thanked the fates that it was early winter and nobody looked twice at me for wearing a coat indoors.

“Go, go!” He shooed me irritably. “I need those precursors five minutes ago! Don’t waste my time!”

I went, rolling my eyes at the sloppiness of starting a project before assembling all the needed materials. Gresha would have words to say about that.

Two more students rushed up to me with their own request forms before I even made it to the door. Just as I passed the last workstation, I looked out the plate glass window into the corridor and blanched as I saw Aralia Cordivar sweeping past. I hastily averted my eyes and instead of turning left out the door, I turned right and went over to the far wall, where Phineas was hustling to unload the autoclave.

He glanced over at me. “Hi?”

I had already joined him in stacking the newly sterilized glassware. “Hi, need any help with this?” I muttered desperately.

“Uh, no. Aren’t you supposed to be running requests?”

“Yes? But, um—”

The autoclave was empty. Phineas started sliding trays of dirty beakers into its gaping maw. “Okay, Eli, look. I don’t know a better way to say this, but I ought to at least let you know. I’ve been hearing some things from the other assistants. About you.”

My heart tripped, caught itself, and staggered into a ragged sprint.

“You’re starting to get a reputation. For being distractable. Unfocused. Do you even know how many tasks you’ve lost track of in the past week or two? The rest of us have been picking up after you, and it’s getting wearisome. I heard Krema say something about it yesterday.” He shrugged. “Just take it into consideration, okay?”

My cheeks were uncomfortably hot again. That wasn’t the worst thing Phineas could have said, though. It wasn’t the thing I’d been mortally afraid he would say. I opened my mouth to apologize, but then I heard, unmistakably, from across the room—

“Hey! Hey, you!”

Shit. I glanced at the corridor. All clear. I turned to go, stammering something sheepish to Phineas, who merely returned a skeptical look.

~ ~ ~

I made three more trips to the stockroom in quick succession, and even managed to avoid zoning out again. Then it was tenth bell, and the end of my shift. I ducked into a servant’s passage off the second floor corridor, slid down the wall to sitting, and brought out my notes. I still had half a bell to study until my first exam.

This was actually how I’d done nearly all my studying lately, snatching time in the margins of my schedule. It wasn’t ideal, but maybe I could eke out passing scores this term. I was so tired, despite having fallen asleep so early last night. I must have slept deeply, too. I hadn’t even noticed Alexi come in and get ready for bed, and I usually didn’t miss that show…

I blushed and bit my lower lip. Lately, I’d been staring at his cock more and more, and wondering how it would feel to glide my tongue along the underside of it. It just looked so smooth and yummy. The idea of sliding my lips around it, while he watched, made a delicious clenching happen between my legs and I squirmed.

Abruptly, I noticed I’d been reading the same notation over and over, taking in nothing. Oh, for grief’s sake, why was this so difficult? Sure, I’d had problems with focus before, but I’d always been able to bear down and brute force my attention to, well, attend. This was more…like my body was in charge of my attention, not me. And hadn’t I gotten off just yesterday?

I tried one more time to buckle down and read my notes, but the aching hot need in my body was fuzzing all my thoughts and I couldn’t concentrate on what any of the words meant. I heard more and more students pass by in the corridor nearby. How long had I been staring at this page? Finally, I slumped in defeat and gathered my things. If I’d spent the last half-bell before the exam humping my hand instead of looking at my notes, I thought sourly, I’d probably be more prepared.

~ ~ ~

I left the exam limp with relief. I’d gotten lucky, and was able to use a factoring trick Aralia had shown us in Apomasaics to get what I hoped were the right answers on most of the questions, instead of using the ponderous equations this class had supposedly been testing us on. It had taken me half the time, too, so my distractability hadn’t even cost me too dearly. Shaking my head at the close call, I wolfed down some food that I’d packed from the dining hall that morning, then reported to the labs again for my second shift of the day.

It was even busier and more crowded than before, if that was possible. I joined another assistant distributing lab equipment to frantic students, and I was in the middle of passing someone a scale when my gaze flickered and suddenly, over his shoulder, I saw her.

She was three rows away, focused on adjusting a burner just so, wearing a very slight frown. My eyes widened, and I froze. The boy in front of me gave me a funny look and grabbed the scale impatiently. Fuck, she was right there. She raised her eyes from the burner and I immediately dropped my gaze to the floor, face burning. WhatdoIdonow, oh whatdoIdo, I thought stupidly.

The Apomasaics class we were both in was huge. The lecture section was big enough that I’d been able to position myself safely away from her for the entire term, and thankfully we were in different laboratory sections. But now, she was standing right there, and Aralia Cordivar wasn’t here to command the attention of the entire room—and she was right there.

I groaned internally. Why did her presence exert so much gravity on me? I wanted some excuse to look in her direction, but that was just creepy, and I didn’t think I could survive the embarrassment if she caught me staring at her again. The memory of how our gazes had locked in the courtyard last term brought back the overwhelming confusion and anxiety that had surged inside of me then.

The assistant next to me kicked me in the shin. “What are you doing?”

I flinched, and turned to help him, muttering an apology. For the rest of the shift, I was tense and jumpy.

~ ~ ~

I tentatively knocked on the door of my room and peeked inside. No sign of Alexi. I climbed up to my bunk and flopped down, blinking tiredly at the ceiling. What a day. I marveled again at how organic all my mood swings were feeling now. What had been a featureless scrum of numb, blank anxiety and despair was opening up into a rich, variegated tapestry of anxiety and...well, not despair, actually. No, the despair seemed to be gone now, along with the buzzing, overcharged frenzy that had lived inside of me ever since boy puberty.

I sighed and pulled a sheaf of mail out from under my pillow. All the envelopes had ragged edges—I’d read them each a few times, since I’d gotten them. There were two from Heather, one with a terse note from Gresha tucked inside. Another from Kisma. Each of them wished me well in my studies, and told me they missed me, in their various ways. Gresha had even written to say that the Foundry felt different without me—the closest I’d ever heard her get to admitting that she missed someone.

Writing letters back, though, was something I kept putting off. The only version of myself with which I could possibly respond to them was fast becoming something like dead skin I was itching to shuck off. Not even dead skin. Dead shell. Not even a cover identity. Closer to a lie. The idea of signing a letter as Eli appealed less and less to me every day.

And though none of them said it, I knew they were each offering that person a place to come back to if I washed out.

I sighed. Bless their hearts. But the idea of actually going back to Stuhkrad, as who I was becoming? As a girlish hybrid kuffa version of the old Eli? Nope.

No, a certainty was setting in me like quicklime cement—I was never going back.

The thought made me dizzy, as if I’d looked down and suddenly realized I had been walking on water—not flat water but a rollicking, heaving, fast-moving river current. Solid ground had given way at some point, it was behind me now, and I was being carried away at velocity, trying to keep my balance on nothing but roiling bubbles. It was terrifying. It was heart-leapingly giddy.

I tucked away the envelopes, and slid my hand down between my legs, to check the, uh, progress. I gasped at how sensitive my clit was. And it did seem to fully be a clit at this point—I’d been obsessively checking my downstairs parts against the best anatomy book collection in the known world. Over the last week or so, my urethra had separated from it and migrated downwards, to sit between the labia lips that had emerged. And just below that—I gasped again as my finger curled and slid into the canal that had been slowly tunneling deeper into my pelvis. Holy fuck I was wet.

My breath hissed as the palm of my hand brushed my clit. Without thinking, I did it again, and my back arched as pleasure shocked through me. I heard a low, gusty moan and belatedly realized I was the one who’d made it. My finger glided out, then back in, and I couldn’t stop my hips from urging down to meet it. My toes curled as sheets of pleasure surged under my skin. At the same time, the inside of my body felt enveloped in streams of gentle, euphoric bubbles, a swirling, lifting wave of rightness.

I released a shaky, guttural breath. Was I really doing this here? Alexi would be getting back from class at any moment. And yet—I didn’t seem to be stopping.

[himebushou]

Yahoo — continuing the Pokémon journey with Episode 2 of Aim to Be a Pokémon Master!

Aaaw, so I guess they're going to try to showcase all of Ash's Pokémon? I love that.

I miss Totodile...

THIS GUY IS SO FUNNY. I don't even know his English name, but his fighting spirit is incredible!

And what a great way of bringing Misty back into the series! I was grinning when she kept going on about the red string of fate. When it comes to water Pokémon, Misty is so intense, lol

I just loved this?? It was so soft and so sweet.

WHERE DID THIS FISHING ROD COME FROM —

And the little Cilan lure!! How cute!!!

MISTY'S FACE?

The physical comedy in this series is just TOP TIER.

I mean — just look at these expressions!

Ash cracked me up here so much. Talking about these Pokémon being おとこ and just... it was so funny? He sounded like he'd fallen out of a samurai anine, or something.

Guh. Ash's Pokémon running to him for comfort? It's one of my favourite things. /sobs

It was a great episode and I love the way Misty came along for the ride.

It's interesting — even though Ash isn't trying to get gym badges or whatever, I'm really enjoying just watching him chill.

(Why is Latias following him though?)

[kusagrasskusa]

Yandere Simulator Delinquents.

They're basically copy and paste. Sooo here's my version of them for future reference! I got too excited writing the last one lol- It's been a while since I've been to inspired to write. This is a nice feeling uvu

Umeji Kizuguchi - Yellow guy

He has blonde, previously pink, hair and golden eyes. He wears a yellow shirt under unbuttoned blazer and carries a baseball bat around. He has a scar over his right eye. Umeji is Oroso right hand man and takes over position while she's gone; these are the cannon versions of him and all that's said.

This is my fannon version of him: He was hurt the most during the bullying and therefore the most fearful of pain. He flinches when touched and gets pissed instantly. He's the most cold and aggressive out of the five and it helped him keep him as the most feared of the delinquents. He works out daily, therefore having a good build and likes bitter foods rather than sweets. He'a quite ignorant and refuses to share his likes out of fear of being judged. He still feels depression but now faces more anxiety than anything. He often cries about it late at night.

But despite his depression, he's so determined to stay as a threat to many. It's the kist alive he's ever felt. He's somewhat narcissistic and has both an inferiority and superiority complex, actually. Sensitive to touch and criticism but damn his ego is big. He uses his strength and speed as another threat to fellow students, to let them know that if they mess up then he'll catch and hurt them.

His home life isn't fun. Parents maybe fighting here and there or gone for work or something. It wasn't abusive in any way or anything; in fact, they get along well when they're together. It's just the parents weren't attentive. As Umeji puts it, "My mom, dad, bless their hearts, but they aren't great." They tend to brush things off quickly and spend too much time to themselves.

Dairoku Surikizu - Blue manz

He has blonde, previously blue, hair and blue eyes. He wears a blue shirt under an unbuttoned blazer and carries around a boten or some shit, idk I couldn't figure it out. He has a scar on his lip and from Mulberry's art, it looks like he's the tallest of the group.

Fannonly, he's the most anxious of the group. He never talks about it to anyone but Hokuto, who brushes it off. Dairoku got his scar a long time ago when his parents were agruing; he hid under his bed when he was nine and started to cry. To calm himself, he started to bite his lip and scratch himself on the forearms and face to calm himself down. He cut himself in the process badly and tried to hide it from his parents so he didn't get yelled at.

His home life wasn't too bad either; his dad left the family not long after that incident when he was nine so his mom has to take on the roles of two people. She never has time for him so the other delinquents make him feel so happy. He likes- no, loves to talk to them but tries to look sketchy in the process.

Hokuto Furukizu - Purple manz

He has blonde, previously golden, hair and purple eyes. From Mulberry's art, he seems to be the second tallest, but very close to Dairoku. He carried around a metal pipe and wears a purple shirt under his opened blazer. He has a scar on his cheek too btw.

Fannonly, he talks most to Dairoku. He usually brushed off what he says, but relates to him most. Of the 5, he desperately wants to be normal and free the most. He was well popular in middle school but his anger once got the best of him and a fight caused him to lose a lot of his reputation. It just got worse as time went on however; but he misses those days so much.

His scare on his cheek came from the fight and serves as a curse mark to him; "The day they ruined my life." He hates looking at it and gets pissed off when people even look at it. He's always been hot headed but his physical appearance is his number one insecurity. Hokuto's homelife is normal and he's goodboi at home. Cleans, cooks sometimes, has an equally good relationship with his mom as he does his dad.

He managed to convince them that his new appearance and signs of depression from last year was just influence from ex friends. Eventually they just took his word for it despite how terrible of a lie that is, so they stopped asking.

Gaku Hikitsuri - Red guyz

According to Mulberry's art, the blonde who once had light blue hair and red eyes is the second tallest. He has a scar on his forehead and carried around a crowbar. His shirt is red and under, you guessed it, an unbuttoned blazer.

He's a genuine tsundere; the angriest of the group. He easily crushes on people like a simp and gets nervous easily, so he acts all defensive and aggressive around them especially. Other than Umeji, he's the quickest to shove people around and assert his position. But for the most part, he intentionally shoves and shoulder checks people he finds attractive or who he thinks is superior than him, which is a lot of people.

He suffers from an inferiority complex that makes him think everyone judges him behind his back and talks about him especially. Therefore, he's the loudest and quickest to insults; he's also very self conscious. He's scared to make noise in class, talk, eat in front of people, and others because he's scared to be judged. Because as long as nothing is brought to the table, there's nothing to judge. His scar was actually from Kokoro, the bully who's just a sadist according to the character files from Yandev, who got pissed at him defending himself and hit him down with a ring. He got cut badly and almost passed out from the hit; but hey, it's not like he can do anything about since she's a girl, and he'd be expelled instantly. The bitch even resulted him with a broken arm at some point.

Home life isn't great; rundown trailerpark, alcoholic dad and whole of a step mom, dead mom, things like that. Damn, if only he got more than a mattress on the floor, a cover, pillow, dresser filled with all his clothes and school supplies to live on. But he can't even get a job without his scar making people think he's worse than what his persona displays.

Hayanari Tsumeato - Grey manz

The grey eyed, blonde hair man with natural red hair who carries around a lead pipe is Hayanari, who's last name "Tsumeato" means scratch mark. He has a grey shirt under his unbuttoned blazer and a scar over his nose.

Fannonly, he was the one with the no fucks given attitude. He was usually straight faced and brutally honest when talking to people, but wasn't necessarily judgemental. It's hard to explain but just because he says, "damn Daniel, you're built like a carrot," doesn't mean he cares about his appearance, even if whoever tf Daniel is actually looks like a carrot or not. He was the daredevil who did things solely for his entertainment.

In a way, it was almost sociopathic or narcissistic; he'd be fine with embarrassing someone in front of anyone because it got a smile our of him. If someone complained, he'd roll his eyes and convince whoever that they were overreacting and that they were the one at fault. He's very manipulative and sarcastic, usually just smiling cockily and speaking innocently. Kinda emo, but he wasn't against that title. He actually liked the occult and for the most part, was down for anything that didn't have too much time needed, like school or family.

He was in the middle of everything; okay with cooking, occult, art, science, reading, anine and games, so there wasn't much a person can dislike him for in terms of social standards. He wasn't appart of a dislikes group like the occult kids or science kids, not with a loved group like cooking or art kids. But when he started to express a bit of interest in the occult was when people could finally pin him down and bully him back for all those insulting jokes that sounded way too serious. And before he knew it, he got wrapped up in the hate and couldn't get himself free.

Home life is something he never, not even to his fellow delinquents, never talks about. But one thing worth noting is that he's never seen without a long sleeved shirt or jacket of some kind. He used to pass out time to time during gym classes because he was overheated due to bringing a long sleeved version of the gym shirt to school and never drank anything. When his parents were called, they always insisted on saying they'll do something about it but they never did, either. The delinquents do think there's some kind of abuse at his house; besides, Hayanari is adopted and those things happen often even if it's more common in the foster system.

His family is something he never talks about. Back in middle school, his friends were able to see his "parents" time to time when they picked him up from school. It was immediately obvious that he wasn't related to them; hell, he rarely called them mom or dad. At home, until adopted, was great. Friends coming over, happy family moments, being able to play games and use electronics, things like that. But when he was adopted was when it wouldn't be easy to just tell someone what was to come; quite obviously, it was abuse. Verbal and physical, nearly everyday. It was worse in the beginning but happened less often as he got older.

His "mom" would call the police a few times him because she felt "threatened." She hit him so he would hit back and yell while doing so, so she has evidence of an attack. But luckily, her skin isn't sensitive enough to show any marks unlike Hayanari's. Other times, his "dad" would get involved and hurt him badly.

[nancypullen]

Kilt-y as Charged

My family has always been able to trace my mother’s lineage to Denmark and Germany as far back as the 1400′s.  It wasn’t hard, my great-grandmother Emelia arrived in New York harbor on the passenger ship Washington in 1873, fresh from Denmark with her mother and siblings.  They proceeded from there out to the Nebraska plains where her father, Christen Rasmussen had already started plowing and creating a homestead.  She married into the Link family, and all you have to do is google John Jacob Link to find the long and interesting story of my ancestors in Germany.  Though the Links of Grossgartach, Germany did quite well,  John Jacob (Hans Jacob Linckh)  crossed oceans at the ripe old age of 50 because he’d decided he was tired of almost constant warfare, taxes that were only used to fill palaces, and the never-ending battle between Catholics and protestants. At least that’s how the story goes.  The Rasmussens and Links prospered in America (google Dr. Harvey Link of Nebraska, physician, innovator, and state representative - that’s my great-great-grandfather) and eventually a Link married a Holtz (another German) and my mother was born.  We have my Danish and German side all wrapped up. Recently sheer boredom drove me to try and untangle the mystery of my paternal line.  It’s not that there were secrets, it’s just that my maiden name is McGlaughn and when trying to track documents that include land deeds, immigration records, death certificates, etc I’ve found some very creative spellings of the name.  I descend from McGlaughon, McGlaun, McGlon, McGlauhon, and I even found a record where it was spelled Meglehon. These are all children from the same parents, check out the various spellings of the last name.

That’s what I’ve been up against. BUT...and you knew there was a but..I did it!  By working backwards and only adding a name to the tree once I’d verified the correct dates, places, relatives, and so on, I found the first McGlaughn relative to step foot in America. His name was Jeremiah McGlaughon, born in Scotland in 1695 to John McGlaughon and his wife, Jane O’Cane.  I haven’t yet found the year that he arrived in America, but he died in 1740 in Bertie County, North Carolina leaving behind land, cattle, hogs, sheep, horses, and a family whose records pop up from Valley Forge to the present.  I found a handful of Revolutionary War soldiers, and as many from the wrong side of the Civil War. Here’s an inventory of Jeremiah’s spread in 1740, pretty sure this was for his will.

I know you can’t see much from this photo.  When I was reading it I had to zoom in and go line by line.  Can we just appreciate the beautiful handwriting? What a lost art. I can’t tell you how happy I was to see books listed in his inventory.

Anywho, after digging and digging and a long conversation with my sister googling on the other end - I’m pretty sure that Jeremiah came from Lanarkshire, Scotland.  I think his wife, Jane Howell (married in Bertie,NC) came from Wiltshire, England.  I haven’t verified this yet, but I *think* this is her baptismal record from 1700.

We’re so fortunate that millions of documents have been scanned and uploaded so that people can search archives from all over the world.  I have found draft cards, land deeds, wills, marriage licenses, and immigration records.  It will probably take months to wade through everything and assign each document to the right person, but I love solving puzzles.  Look at these gems.

Here’s the record of Caroline Rasmussen arriving in America with her children in tow.

Caroline - age 33 - woman Hans - male child -11 Rasmus -male child- 6 Anine - female child - age 9 Mathilde -female child- age 4 (That’s my great-grandmother, Mathilde Emilia!) Laurentina - female child - 11 months Can you even imagine? A young mother and five children, one of them not yet a year old, leaving everything familiar and crossing the ocean?    It looks like she traveled with other Rasmussen relatives, so that had to be a comfort. I was really excited when I uncovered the baptismal record for Caroline and then the record of her marriage to Christen.  Then I remembered that I don’t read Danish.

Oops. You can still get helpful info - when I found Christen Rasmussen’s confirmation in church records it provided his birthplace.  I’m sure we already have that tidbit filed away somewhere, but if you’re just beginning a search those are the tasty clues that move you forward. 

I won’t bore you with more details of a family that you don’t know or care about.  Besides, I have to get back to my search and keep fleshing out my McGlaughn/McGlaughon/McGlaun/McGlon/McGlahon/Meglohon line. So far I know that: John McGlaughon & Jane O’Cane of Lanarkshire,Scotland begat Jeremiah and his brothers Malachi and James. Jeremiah McGlaughon & Jane Howell begat Edmond and siblings Edmond McGlauhon & Angelica Jane Butler begat William and siblings William McGlahon & Ann Gaskin  begat Jeremiah and siblings Jeremiah McGlauhon had FOUR wives - Elizabeth Capeheart (also spelled Kapott in some records), Nancy Baker, Matilda Webb Fogerty, and Nancy Parker As you can imagine, there was a litter of kids, but my ancestor came from his union with Nancy Baker. So, Jeremiah & Nancy #1 begat James Jackson McGlaughn. James Jackson “Jack” McGlaughn  married Mary Loretta Eady who is listed as “Cherokee Indian”. They had a few kids and because life was harder on women back then, Mary died.  Jack then married Nancy Jane Noble, and together they made my great-grandfather John Pinkston McGlaughn. John Pinkston McGlaughn married Lavada Sanders, had some babies, and Lavada (you guessed it) died.  Along came Lela Fields Carter with her daughter Alice and married John and had a few more kids.  My grandfather was from the first union with Lavada.  He was a horrible, awful, disgusting, sorry excuse for a human being and his name was William Jasper McGlaughn. William Jasper McGlaughn married Jessie Bell Lett and produced six offspring, one of them was my father, John Paskle McGlaughn.  He met and married an Idaho beauty, Marilyn Holtz, and all because those brave ancestors stepped onto boats and decided to give America a try, here I am.  It’s both humbling and fascinating to see documents with the beautiful, swirling signatures of some of those who came before me.  I don’t know all of their stories, I only have names and dates right now. But if not for them I wouldn’t be sitting in my warm, cozy home in Tennessee, searching the internet for what they left behind.  My life has undoubtedly been far easier than theirs, don’t we all stand on the shoulders of our ancestors and benefit from their courage and hard work?  Of course, we also sometimes have to recover from the poor decisions and cruelty of unsavory characters in our family trees.  We’re all threads in a tapestry. That being said, my DNA swab continues to be refined and as it turns out, I’m exactly what family lore has said I would be.  I’m a big ol’ hodge podge of European ancestors like most Americans.

Northwestern Europe - Germany and Denmark, check. Scotland and England - check. Various sprinklings for flavor - check. I’m happy like the Danish and frugal like the Scots. German stereotypes are hardworking, efficient, and disciplined.  I totally missed that boat. Can’t win ‘em all. Okay, I’ll wrap this up.  If you stuck it out to the end pleas reward yourself.  This whole post was just me thinking out loud and making my case for a trip to Scotland.  Pretty sure the motherland is calling me home.

I mean, the place is full of these adorable Highland Cows!  I could bring one home as a souvenir!

I’m afraid if I go I’ll never come home, Jeremiah’s journey would all be for naught. So that’s it. I really am wrapping this up.

I swear, I’m done. Stay safe and stay well, ya wee smasher!

Done. XOXO - Nancy

[stars-in-my-damn-eyes]

An Improbable Turn of Events - Chapter 1

Before I start: I just want to disclose that I don't write very often and this chapter is shit. I will probably improve with practice, but bear with me. Anyhow, this is a fanfic. It's a Bestiary fanfic (which is the creation of @the-world-of-the-bestiary). It features some Bestiary OCs of mine. I hope it is passable.

(Beta-read by @righteous-room-people)

It was a pretty big jar, all things considered. Variant had never really been an expert on jars, but she had enough passing knowledge to know that the one she was looking for was pretty large for a jar, and, given that it was covered in ornate symbols painstakingly carved into the glass, it was also rather easily identifiable.

Furthermore, the fact that it held a deep indigo crystal which floated slowly up and down within it as it pulsed with a soft lavender glow and illuminated the fine purple dust floating around it, made the stupid thing incredibly obvious and absolutely unmissable.

Even so, despite the odds, Variant found herself unable to locate it. It hadn't been in the secure, nigh-impenetrable safe where it was supposed to be, so she'd turned the stupid place upside down in her search for her good-sized and rather noticeable glowy rock jar - heck, she'd even gone through the underwear drawer and the sofa cushions - to absolutely no avail.

It seemed very likely that the glorified nightlight was lost.

Somehow, an object being kept in an almost ridiculously secure safe that absolutely nobody except Variant knew the incredibly long and complex code to had vanished into thin air.

The situation was not ideal.

Variant sighed to herself. Never let it be said that she was not a patient faun - she'd taken it upon herseld to look through every single nook and cranny of the house at least twice, which was a task made twice as difficult due to the fact that she only had one working arm. She'd search the house again, in fact, just to double-check that she hadn't somehow managed to miss the massive, obvious artifact she was searching for, but the occupant was rising along with the chilly, late-autumn sun.

She wasn't about to leave such a precious relic in her own house, after all - she visited Faun-anin once in a blue moon, and she had more sense than to leave the magic rock in an empty house for decades at a time.

Under the impression that she was making a sound decision, she'd opted to give the damn thing to a friend for safekeeping and now it was lost.

As she slipped out of the window, Variant cursed the house's owner under her breath. Sunny was incompetent and lazy, sure, but all he had to do to complete this particular task was to not open the safe, which, given the fact that he'd forgotten the code immediately after locking it, was a pretty easy task.

In Variant's opinion, he deserved to have his house ransacked. All she had wanted to do was slip into Faun-anin, grab the rock-jar, and leave immediately, but apparently nothing could ever go right for her.

She made her way across the town and got into her truck before anybody saw and recognised her. She started up the engine and set off, tragically jar-gem-less, and started to drive in the direction of the next settlement over.

And that was when the second thing decided to go wrong that day, despite the fact that the sun had barely risen. Today was not simply a bad day. Variant had had bad days before - on one memorable occasion, she'd accidentally set her jacket on fire whilst camping out in a barn in the middle of nowhere - and she could handle them.

No, today was not simply a bad day.

Today, Variant mused as she watched black smoke flow ominously out of her bonnet, was perhaps the worst day of her entire pathetic existence.

***

The sun was hovering just above the horizon when Variant returned to the little town she called home. She pulled her car into a small clearing that housed four other vehicles and sat back in the driver's seat, letting a loud sigh escape her lips. Now, to decide what to do about the jar. Gods damn her hubris - she shouldn't have been content with merely trusting that it was safe in Faun-anin. She should've ensured it was safe. Variant snorted at the irony of the situation - oh, the irony. She'd been downright stupid to assume that she'd be able to drop her guard once she'd stored the crystal with her friend. Sunny had told her that he'd protect it with his life, but that didn't mean he'd be able to do so. She'd gone after it too, after all, and it really was idiotic of her to assume it was hers for good after her success.

In her hubris, Variant had fucked up. Badly. To top it off, the damn crystal wasnt going to find itself, and Variant couldn't afford to let its whereabouts stay unknown.

It looked like she was going to have to clear her schedule for next few months.

But first, a more important task awaited.

The small café in town did fantastic sandwiches.

***

Centaur Enforcers weren't unheard of, but they weren't common either. Due to this, Variant could be reasonably certain that the centaur Enforcer looming over her car like it was an exhibit in a museum was in fact one Jennet... Jennet... actually, Variant had forgotten her surname. If she had one. Did centaurs have surnames?

Great going, Variant. First you lose your most important possession, then you end up having to drag your car to a mechanic at the break of dawn, and then you forget your own roommate's name. You're a genius, truly.

Jennet turned around, confirming that she was indeed Jennet, and half-smiled at Variant.

"You're not allowed to park there," she greeted.

"Other people are parked there," Variant shrugged.

Jennet snorted. "Other people are going to be told not to park there too, Variant. Shockingly, parking restrictions apply to everyone."

"Does it matter, though? I mean, I'm parked in what is essentially a hedge. Look at it. It's practically swallowing the cars."

Jennet offered another small smile. "If it's to your disliking, I suggest you move your vehicle."

"Shut up, Jennet," Variant scowled, rubbing her forehead with her good hand. The Enforcer regarded her quietly, apparently indulging Variant's request.

"Are you leaving?" Jennet, breaking the silence.

"Yeah. I was just headed home."

Jennet gave a her nod and stepped away. "See you there, then."

Variant dipped her head, returning the gesture, and started towards the vehicle.

"Hey, Variant," Jennet called after her.

"Yeah?" Variant opened the door, not bothering to face the Enforcer.

"Is everything ok?"

Variant became vaguely aware of the familiar feeling of a headache beginning to form tapping at her skull.

"Everything's grand," she said.

***

Jennet came home sooner than expected, but not by much. Variant had already gone to bed by the time she heard the creaking of the front door of the aparment opening and the tapping of hooves on the wooden floor.

"I'm back," Jennet announced.

"I realised," Variant muttered, loudly enough for the centaur to hear. Gods, she was tired. She hadn't slept at all last night, opting to do a bit of breaking and entering instead.

Jennet paused, tapping a hoof on the floor. "How much did you sleep last night?"

"Very little. Close to none."

Jennet hummed thoughtfully.

"Why ask?"

"No reason," the centaur said airily, opening a cupboard. "You just seemed tired."

No shit.

"That's why I'm going to sleep," Variant said, annoyed. "Right now."

Fortunately, Jennet took the hint, and didn't bother Variant with any further questions. It had been a very long and horrible day, after all, and she was looking forward to it being over.

Variant rolled over on her bed and tried to focus on the sound of Jennet making herself dinner rather than the fact the most important thing she owned had been stolen, and all she knew about if was that it had happened between about twelve years ago and today.

Fuck that gem-jar and everything to do with it.

***

The crystal pulsed with a lavender light, illuminating the dim office.

"So this is it?"

The troll and the faun opposite him nodded.

"That's definitely it," the faun said. "Right where she left it way back when. It apparently never occured to her to move it."

"More likely, she just trusted that it would be safe with her friend," the troll said bluntly, tapping their fingers on the table.

"Shut up, Wherever."

"Does it perform its function correctly?" hissed the man. "Can it really reverse probability?"

The troll, Wherever, sighed. "You told us to get the Valosyn Crystal from Faun-anin, and we did. Whether or not it works is not our problem."

His eyes blazed angrily as he shot a glare at the apathetic troll. "Then you will activate it, and if it fails to accomplish its task, you will not be paid. I do not hand out money to incompetents."

"I am very competent," Wherever muttered, with no real indignation behind their words. "But 'test the Valosyn Crystal' was not in the job description."

"Shut up, Wherever," the man snapped at the offending troll. Their faun counterpart smirked at them.

"Go on then, bro. Turn it on," Wherever smiled at the faun, who immediately stiffened.

"I hate you."

"I know."

He reached out tentatively and yanked the lid off the jar, taking the crystal out.

"It's perpetually on. If you want it off, stick it in the jar and that should hold it," he muttered, holding it out.

"Hmm," the man hmmed. "Well, I suppose we should try it out. Do you have any suggestions?"

"We shoot Wherever and see if they survive? Under normal circumstances, that's pretty unlikely."

"Or, we shoot you, since you suggested it," Wherever supplied. "Alternatively, we could test it in the long term."

The man's eyes glittered. "How so?"

Wherever shrugged. "Set a really obvious trap. Something that it's unlikely someone would fall for. Then, wait for someone to take the bait."

"I see," he said, looking at the troll appraisingly. "In that case, I have another job for you."

[haknyeonrk]

⋆｡°✩ mga season four. ep v. mashup. ‹ #4010 ›    ⇢ performance: hate monster –– 4minute x exo // line distribution        TEAM STYX ( #4004 #4011 #4032 #4043 )

the last episode had been tough. he had to watch jeongguk, his leader, get eliminated and to top it off, he had to watch juyeon leave as well. it felt terrible, like something had been hurled towards him at lightning speed and haknyeon wasn’t able to take it all in stride despite his attempts at trying to act like everything was okay (it wasn’t). 

and he can’t help thinking that it was all his fault –– it had to be his fault. if he’d pushed himself harder, if he’d done more maybe at least, something would’ve changed. his heart is heavy when they’re announced new teams and he looks visibly down. he’d usually be all smiles, ready to get along with the rest of the team but his eyes are downcast and there’s this odd feeling in his chest.

the walk to the kt building feels heavy, he feels odd but he knows he shouldn’t feel too sad about it for long –– or at the very least that he needs to get over it. it just felt awful, watching your own teammate get eliminated. and then watching one of your closest friends getting sent home too. it didn’t sit well with haknyeon.

he takes a deep breath, closes his eyes for a second, before he walks into the building.

at the very least he’s not surrounded by unfamiliar faces. he’s been in the same team with doyeon before so he knows her pretty well –– the others though, he finds himself having to get to know. he feels a little worn out emotionally but he needs to pull through, after all it’s a competition and haknyeon... haknyeon needs to win. 

there’s minho, jei and moonbin on his team and while he’s not too familiar with all of them just yet, thankfully he’s around the same age as the two boys and they get along well fairly quickly. in the three boys, haknyeon finds himself washing away the saddest he’d been holding in.

it actually starts when they’re trying to figure out a team name and someone brings up ceberus. now, haknyeon wasn’t exactly book smart enough to know what it meant but when someone else explains he lets out a soft ‘oh’. somehow though, this ends up with him and three other boys letting out soft ‘woofs’ and haknyeon breaks out into a bright smile, turning to minho and gently tapping his shoulder. 

this ends up with them letting out woofs at random times but haknyeon though, decides to let out... a nyan instead (and he doesn’t miss the look jei gives either him or the two other boys whenever they make animal sounds. he finds it kind of endearing). and like that, he tries to forget about the heaviness in his chest; able to bond quickly with the two other boys as well.

soon after though, they decide to go with a better, less comical name. styx. it’s a nice name and while haknyeon still doesn’t know much about myths or gods or anything like that, he enjoys the concept about it and learning more about them. the name suits their concept as well. 

they’ve chosen a mashup of hate and monster. something a little darker than haknyeon’s used to but he’s more than ready to try and show a different side of him on the stage. 

throughout his time on the show, haknyeon’s only ever actually done more... upbeat concepts. the boys was chic whilst my flower was more bright. this though, this would be very different. he’s thankful that minho’s knowledgeable enough with mashups to create one for the team and he lets his thankfulness show when he gives minho a high five and thumbs up.

the three boys get along fairly well –– he has no qualms with any other of his teammates (they’re all great people and he’s glad they’re on the same team as him) but maybe it’s because they’re boys of similar age that haknyeon finds himself more comfortable around both minho and moonbin. 

he stands in front of the camera with minho and during their short break, plays around with him. “hyung, hyung!” he laughs brightly, shaking his body to no music in particular, before minho joins him and they’re both simply laughing and dancing in front of the camera. they continue making funny faces in front of the camera and haknyeon can’t stop smiling while he’s fooling around briefly with minho. “alright!” he says after they’re done fooling around, “we should get back to practice! fighting, fighting!”

and when they practice, haknyeon doesn’t really stop.

while his team is great, there’s still this fear bubbling from within him. the fear of last week, of not being placed in a safe rank. of watching people leave him. he needs to do well –– for everyone (for himself). the choreography comes together, and thankfully, most of them are well acquainted with dance and it has haknyeon hyped up with the idea of doing something darker.

it’s a new genre and haknyeon needs to show a different side of him. he’s no dummy, and while he’s not exactly book smart, he’s aware of the comments that are made about him –– comments saying that he’s been using his sister, that connections were what got him so far (that they were what got him attention). 

and it hurts. it feels dumb, but haknyeon wants to be known as his own person, not just his sister’s little brother. so it pushes him harder and harder and harder until he finds himself in the same position that he was in last week.

(tw: blood)

a sudden feeling, a sudden rush of sorts, and the wet feeling in his nostril. ah, he thinks, it happened again. he puts a hand below his nostril and he sees red. another nosebleed. great. quickly looking up at the mirror to confirm it, haknyeon places a hand over his nose and tries to rush to the toilet.

though he catches the attention of jei. “noona,” he says when he sees jei standing nearby. “sorry, i have to go to the bathroom for a bit. i’ll be right back, promise.” he doesn’t want to be a burden to anybody, doesn’t like wasting time like this. but jei helps him before he can go to the bathroom, gently placing a towel below his nose.

“again? ... is this normal for you? it happened last week too.”

“no...” he admits. “this… doesn’t usually happen often. i think i’m just a little tired and forgot to drink more water,” it’s the truth; lately he’s had this tendency to forget to do a lot of things, too focused on trying to get choreography right, on trying to sound good on stage –– to have a good stage.

he’s got a lot bottled up inside of him, probably, a lot more than he lets show but he’s always preferred to keep things to himself. “i’m sorry noona,” he apologizes,. “i’m probably just wasting your time now. we should get back to practicing… we need to put on a good show! i’ll quickly go get some tissue from the bathroom!” he attempts to laugh it off, but the red from the towel is a contrast to his words.

“that’s not something you just forget,” the look jei gives him, is enough for him to know that he isn’t getting out of this easily; and so he doesn’t say anything back when she tells him to quickly go to the bathroom and then to come back and talk to her.

he comes back from the bathroom with tissue stuffed up one of his nostrils and the feeling of guilt. “thanks for helping me noona,” he says. “i’m really sorry. i just… need to do well… and prove something.” 

jei, for some reason, reminds haknyeon of his own sister back home. so with just a look and a few words from her, haknyeon speaks on a little more. “i know i shouldn’t let it get to me but... people have been saying things, about how i’m only here because of my sister, that i’m using her fame... and stuff like that... i want to prove something to them. and prove something to myself. that i’m here because i’m me. i need to do well, so they can realize that i’m my own person with my own dreams... i need to do well. i’ll take better care of myself, i promise.”

(tw: blood end)

and he feels a little closer to jei after that, despite her giving him a look (the kind of look that really did remind him of his older sister back home). haknyeon somehow finds himself finally getting some rest along with the two other boys, the three of them cuddled up in a corner, lying down and sleeping. it’s moments later that he feels something warm on top of him and he cracks an eye open to see jei placing a blanket over them (and then to hear moonbin letting out a woof).

the day of the performance comes and haknyeon’s dressed a lot more darkly than he’d been in previous performances. he takes in the crowd and a smile forms on his face, he remembers his name being mentioned in the previous episode, a girl claiming that she was a fan of his. a fan. he wonders briefly how many he has there in the crowd.

“as above, so below! hello we are team styx!” they say in unison before they bow. “here to bring the team luck! i’m styx’s lucky boy, haknyeon!” he winks to the camera and he can’t help the way his face gets a little red out of embarrassment after his introduction.

they get into position after the introductions and haknyeon’s gaze immediately changes. he’s no longer the bright kid he’d been just seconds ago whilst introducing himself, he was a villain now. a tormentor of sorts.

the stage is completely back save for a spotlight on the girls, and jei begins to sing. then moonbin begins to sing and haknyeon dances to the choreography they’ve had made. 

it’s a dark storyline after all, and he makes sure his facial expression matches the genre of their performance. a song about toxic love –– haknyeon delves deep into himself to bring out his role in the performance.

as the song builds up, so does the choreography and haknyeon dances, eyes intense whenever he meets the camera as he dances. the chorus comes to an end and it’s haknyeon’s turn to rap.

during the previous performance, he’d been able to showcase his abilities and he’s a lot more confident now with his rap, ready to show the audience and judges that he can do a lot more. 

dabi eomneun dabane damman jugeorago sseo sarange kongkkakjiga anin saegangyeongeul kkyeo ireon sigeuro hal baen geunyang heeojineun ge naasseo neol mannaseo oeropdamyeon honja oeropgo malgesseo ( i write answers to the questions which haven’t got answers i now get to have doubt instead of crush rather than being like this we’d better break up if i get lonely with you, i get lonely alone )

the lyrics are dark and haknyeon shows a different side of him as he raps. lifting a brow at the words with a sinister smirk plastered across his face. he dances, intense before it’s his turn once more.

sirheo sirheo nan neo sirheo sirheo sirheo nan neo sirheo ( hate hate, i hate you, hate  hate hate, i hate you, hate )

he lifts his hands up and points to the front as he raps, gaze intense. at the last line, he makes a gun gesture and ‘shoots’.

the dancing and storyline continues as the other’s sing their lines and haknyeon gets ready for his joint rap duo moment with minho after moonbin sings his high note. he’s glad that he gets along well with minho, somewhat confident that the both of them would be able to pull off a good performance.

modu nal duryeoweohae so I’m untouchable man geunde ne jinshimeun wae gyeolguge nal geobu motae ( everyone’s afraid of me, so i’m untouchable man but in the end, you can’t reject me )

he starts off the rapping, furiously running a hand through his hair as he does so, dark smile on his face. the next lines go to minho and haknyeon backs him up. “who?” he says in the background, followed by “how we do!”

nal geudaero badadeuryeo ( accept me for who i am )

haknyeon raps again and then minho’s line comes in, the both of them in sync with each other.

niga gyeondil manhan gotongeul nuryeo deo gipi ppajeodeureo ( enjoy the pain that you’re able to endure fall deeper inside )

the lyrics are dark, tormenting even, and it suits the character that he’s playing right now –– the storyline that their team has decided to go with.

domanggaji ma neon yeongweonhi maemdora brah ( don’t run away, you’ll forever linger near )

and with that the chorus of monster plays and they dance, following their own choreography. haknyeon’s quite into the role of the tormentor he has and truth be told, he’s glad that he was able to rap as a duo with minho.

“i don’t need you, hate, no no,” he raps to blend into the mashup. “sirheo sirheo nan neo sirheo, sirheo sirheo nan neo sirheo, sirheo, sirheo nan neo sirheo” he continues, still dancing as he raps. 

the song comes to an end and haknyeon exits through the side as it focuses back on the couple and jei. he watches as the stage ends, satisfied.

when they get backstage haknyeon can’t help the satisfied smile that makes it’s way across his face. “we’ve all worked hard!” he says, “thank you for that performance.”

[letitrainasunnyday]

I hope you enjoy answering these asks as much as I love reading them! So, what do you think is the funniest DC moment? (Mine would deffo be when Ran wanted to meet Eri and said to Conan she was out on a date with shin and HE LITERALLY FORGOT WHO HE WAS I'M DIENG) cough-cough oh and what's your favourite anination style I really loved the one for the desperate revival, most movies like 7 or 14 and when Ai had that chestnut blonde/light brown hair. Love you xxx

I really do, and I love hearing that you enjoy them!!!!!! It makes me feel all nice and fuzzy inside!!! 

Okay, funniest moment? Holy shit that’s a tremendously hard question because I’ve laughed so hard with Conan.. Automatically, any scene that Hattori or Yukiko are in is hilarious to me. “You dare embarrass the great actress Yukiko Fujimine?” more recently made me cry in laughter, but every time she’s on screen I swear to God I lose my shit I think she’s tremendously hilarious. And Hattori… Come on. It’s Hattori. How dumb he is and how much he loves to tease Shinichi is more than enough to have me doubled over in laughter. 

WHEN SHINICHI DIDN’T FUCKING KNOW HOW A BRA WORKED RANKS HIGH THO. 

And Sonoko is always hilarious. I mean, those three characters are just so funny to me all the time, I love them forever. 

Okay but I’m not answering your questions. Here’s a few moments I remember laughing my ass off more than once off the top of my head: 

Conan reacting to the bikini photo of Ran that Sonoko sends him.

Hattori’s entire arc during the magicians case as he tries to figure out how he feels for Kazuha. Especially how he reacts to Conan doing the “who am I?” joke. 10/10  

Yukiko putting on dramatic lights (where did she even get them from?) in the case she solves with Eri whilst she reveals Shinichi’s deduction.

That entire episode is hilarious and a blessing, truly. 

Recently, Vermouth talking to Shinichi dressed as Azusa like it’s no big deal, like she’s just there to have a good time chillin with some buddies. 

Kid interacting with a fucking goat in Movie 14. Honestly what the fuck but also I’m crying. 

Ran imagining Shinichi hAVING AN AFFAIR WITH AN OLDER WOMAN HAHAHAHAH AS IF OH MY GOD I’M CHOKING

I’m missing so many, but yeah, here are a few. 

And thanks for asking about my favorite animation style because I really care about it a lot and no one’s ever asked me!!!! I’m with you, Movie 7 is top quality for me, but so are Movie 8 and 4 and 6. And yes, without a doubt, the Desperate Revival style is among my favorites, together with the New York Case one and the most recent one isn’t bad. There was one that’s kind of like the one we have now, but it was a couple of years back, where they really defined the black lines in the characters and so it looked a lot like Aoyama’s style –or even his keyframes in the movies. The animation in Episode ONE was also so on point, I will forever be grateful for it

[keysylvani]

Letter To Myself (elementary school)

(I decided to put this into chunks for different life stages. This is my letter to elementary school me)

Dear Me You don’t know it yet, but you have a condition called OCD. This is the reason you are always asking your mom if the things you touched are germy and the reason you cry when nobody is there to reassure you that nothing bad will happen. It is the reason you hate that clammy feeling on your palms and keep washing them, which only nlmakes things worse. It is the reason you are skeptical of the stuffed aninals that you adore being dirty because you can’t wash them off constantly. It is the reason you think you need to say or do certain silly things to prevent your loved ones from dying. It is the reason you have to pray in exactly the right way and if you mess up you have to start all over again. It is the reason you secretly fear god is going to punish you by killing your family if you question his existence. It is the reason that when your mom is 5 minutes late to pick you up or doesn’t pick up her phone you are convinced she must be dead and you have a panic attack, leading your grandparents to think you don’t like staying with them. Just know that it is all ok. You think these thoughts are normal and that the threats are real but you are just ill and things will make more sense when you get better. It will be a long road to getting better and it never fully goes away but you will be much healthier mentally than you are now someday. Keep enjoying being a kid. You have no idea how much you will miss long days of playing with toys. You have a very sweet heart and your loving nature and creativity will define you. Don’t pick on your younger cousin so much. You may think it is harmless teasing but it probably isn’t fun for him He will become one of your best friends in the future. In fact as you write this now he is leaving for college and you are nearly tearing up in pride but also sadness that he will be far away for a while. As you get older your mental health will deteriorate. Keep telling yourself it will be ok and never lose hope. That cruel teacher that ruined your confidence is still alive today and she is still a loser. Ignore her. One day you will just pity her hateful heart. Remember that no matter what she implied, you are not stupid. In fact, your IQ is higher than average. I know changing schools to be in the gifted program is scary but you will be getting the support and encouragment you need from the adults there. The gifted class teacher will help rebuild the self esteem your old school buried and she will always be one of your biggest role models. Try harder to keep in touch with the friends you have made. You will miss them if you don’t. Some of these friends will turn on you and it is sad but you don’t need those people. Just enjoy their company while it lasts. I know at this time you are having wierd thoughts. You think you are a bad person. Teachers, family and friends will try to help you when they see your emotional distress. Don’t be afraid to let them help. By 6th grade You are wondering if you will ever be better and if you will ever feel truly happy again. The answer is YES. You are also wondering if you would be better off dead. The answer is NO. Cooperate with the therapist and tell her everything you feel, even the parts that scare and embarrass you. She will finally inform you about your OCD and you will start the difficult path to restoring your mental health. As you prepare to enter middle school keep your friends close and know you have the unconditional love of your family. Things will get better eventually even if they have to get harder first. Think of yourself as a phoenix who will rise stronger from the ashes of your illness and sadness.

[tumblunni]

Ok seriously even the wikia has nothing on it, all i can find is news articles saying "upcoming early access game wasteland kings changes name due to copyright issues" and then i cant find anything about that old version?? All i know is that it seems iut was a prototype for a game jam, and they decided to turn it into a full commercial project cos it was so popular. And its interesting how finished they managed to make it in just one weekend! Like there's early devlogs and theyre just a big stream of 'added sound, added death aninations, added weapon variety' and etc. Like they prioritized getting a playable game with custom sprites over getting all those small lil details. It was huge and went all the way to level 5 in a fuckin ONE WEEK BUILD! and it already had the full sprite style for five characters and two biomes done in THREE DAYS, it just took a bit longer to finish the Big Dog boss fight and fully animating/sfx-ing everything. It must have been so interestingyo play that early version tho! Like can you imagine such detailed sprites but no sound? And certain things not animating? The gameplay style must have changed entirely with every update, seriously the version we've got now works very heavily on predicting noise cues for enemy attacks right down to knowing what weapon you currently have equipped. Its such a key feature that they added a secret challenge level where there isnt any sound! (Also lol guess what i ONLY JUST DISCOVERED! i wasgonna make a joke about there being no water level in a game with a fish protagonist but it turns out it was just a super hidden bonus stage)

Gahhh the development is SO FASCINATING and just reading aboyt the stuff that changed since the first Nuclear Throne version is FASCINATING and aaa how much did i miss from this early build?? Man, Melting and Crystal had redesigns to be more accurate to their artworks?? She didnt have the furrowed brow on her map sprite and it looks SO ODD! And there's the placeholder doodles from the programmer for the crowns system but people have talked about similar concept doodles for the characters and levels that i dunno where to find?? Man im so curious aaa i wanna see the evolution! This game mutated so much!

Oh wow so that mod is apparantly not only adding new characters but also recreating the entire final version of nuclear throne in the beta engine?? I had no clue there even was an oroginal version! Holy hell where do i find more info on this! Apprantly it was called Wasteland Kings and i think only the first five characters were in it? Which would explain why they get to be the cover stars in the sequel/final game.

MAN IM INTRIGUED I WANNA SEE EVERYONE’S OLD DESIGNS

[starr-fall-knight-rise]

Humans Are Space Orcs, “Sandstorm.”

Hope everyone is having a good Monday, Hope you like the story )

Sunny stood beneath the blazing hot son. The Iranboo market on Irus was hot and dusty with clouds of blue sand puffing up into the air with every step. The little domes of white rock that made up the houses here, were draped in colorful cloth which stretched from  roof to roof to cast the sandy market into a measure of shade.

Sunny was used to the heat, though volcanic heat and the heat of a star were much different, the volcanic heat coming in waves, while the heat from above seared downwards with ever-increasing intensity that made her entire body tingle with heat, and so she stayed in the shade near one of the tents, perusing a table full of decorative daggers, lorded over by a dark-skinned human, covered in colorful cloth from head to toe, to the point that only his upper face was exposed.

She wondered how the man could wear so many layers in heat like this, but didn’t ask.

Off to the side, Adam was busy taking the statement of one of the market herb sellers. 

They had come here on the wind of some disturbing rumors.

Apparently, someone had got it into their heads that ground up Drev carapace had some sort of medicinal properties, sort of like ivory -- or at least that is what Adam had compared it to. Either way, they weren’t sure if the rumors were true, but a slow trickle of calls had been coming into the UNSC and revolved around Drev and their missing friends or family members.

Sunny shivered at the idea.

What kind of person would have the audacity to hunt Drev.

It was her impression, for that reason, that this in some way involved humans. That was not because she thought humans were the only ones sick enough to do something like this, but primarily because humans were the only ones capable of challenging a Drev. Perhaps a team of humans headed by a Tesraki mastermind, or others, but it remained her opinion that humans, or spirits forbid, other Drev were involved.

She glanced back at Adam, pleased to see that he was taking this as serious as any other investigation that they had done. Things were slowly changing, but the war hadn’t left the Drev in a good light and there were still some who didn't take the issues of her people as seriously as they should.

Obviously Adam was an exception to that rule and followed the plight of the Drev very seriously going so far as to say ‘ive been adopted into two Drev clans; your business is my business, and I intend to do everything that I can to help.”

So far he hadn’t lied, and she was more than pleased.

She turned her head away from his questioning and back to the rest of the market. Iranboo was a center of trade on Irus, far out in the desert, but close to at least three major interstellar docking stations. At least two of those three docking stations regularly received travelers from Anin, her home planet, and was often the last place some of the Drev were seen before they vanished completely.

With Adam still talking, Sunny walked a little further into the crowd following her ears and eyes. If she were a drev come off Anin for the first time, what would she be looking for? Food for sure, but the weapons would surely catch their eye.

So she made her way along the sand fruit stalls examining tier wares cursily before moving on. It was not their items that she was interested in, but the aliens who sold them.

She took a turn around the other side of the market, losing sight of Adam behind a brightly colored green banner. She lifted her head, and, off in the distance, she saw alow haze beginning to form on the horizon. 

It was a familiar sight, from a memory long ago when she had passed through Irus.

The deep blue of atmospheric haze was growing even deeper, until it appeared that bright blue clouds were forming on the horizon. 

A sandstorm.

It was far away right then, but she knew from stories how fast they moved and how dangerous they could be. 

She walked through the market stalls and past one of the low marble domes, her feet seering in the scorching sand as she stared out at the gathering dust cloud. Behind her the sounds of the market merged and roiled into one great amalgamation of sound.

Her thoughts grew distant as she stared out upon the alien landscape.

And then something clamped around  the base of her throat. She gasped and choked but was assailed by an acrid smell hissing through her breathing holes and into her lungs.

Something gripped her tight about the arms and waist.

She choked and struggled, kicking at the legs of whoever held her, but even as she struggled, her body grew weak and her knees gave out. She felt her legs burning as she slumped to the scorching sand. 

Her head spun.

“Hurry, get her on the truck, we don’t have much time.”

“You get her feet, I’ll get her hands.”

“Hurry damn it.”

Her vision faded in and out, but she felt her body growing light, suspended through the air by unknown hads.

Her head lolled slightly. She watched the city recede upside down into the distance as she was unceremoniously chucked onto the back of the hover truck, whose engine roared and slowly began to slowly accelerate forward.

***

Adam clicked the top of the pen and slipped it into his jacket pocket, “Thank you for your help, sir. If you hear anything, call the number on the card I gave you, and a representative of the GA will take your statement, and dispatch a ship if needed.” The man nodded and raised the sand fruit he was eating.”

Adam turned on the spot, “You know I never thought th-” He paused when he found himself alone, and Sunny nowhere to be seen. He turned in a wide circle searching for her blue carapace in the surrounding crowd, but found nothing.”

That was strange, where could she have run off to

He walked a few steps forward, a tiny bit surprised when he found a good portion of the vendors to be packing up glancing nervously between the buildings and out towards the horizon. He Followed their gaze and paused nervously when he saw the large blue cloud rolling up over the horizon.

A sandstorm.

He really needed to get Sunny and get out of here. They might be able to beat it to the docking bay if they were quick enough.

But where the hell was she.

He took a few steps into the quickly vanishing market, and an arm suddenly caught his bicep, squeezing tight enough for a shock of pain to be sent up his arm. He jolted to a stop and turned to look at the one who had grabbed him.it was the man from the knife stand, with his colorful head coverings, and dark skin.

His eyes were wide and wild.

He placed a hand before his face, one finger over his lips to sush adam, and then     motioned his eyes towards the side of the market fervently. Adam nodded and the man let him go. The wind was beginning to kick up around them, and he pulled up his jacket collar against little particles of sand as they flew up into his face.

He broke into a jog as he headed towards the side of the buildings.

He broke from between two houses, his eyes scanning over the wide horizon. At first he didn’t see anything, but flipping up his eyepatch and taking a look through his augmented eye, he zoomed in on the landscape, and managed to make out a little white hovercade of vehicles driving towards the storm.

He zoomed in a little further, and froze.

Froze at the blue body who lay listless on the back of the rear truck.

His heart turned to stone, and rage welled up inside him the likes of which he had never experienced. In that moment, it felt as if he could have melted the sand below his feet to glass.

“Sunny!” He screamed, catching a mouthful of sand kicked up into his face.

A man rode past him on a hoverbike nose turned towards one of the distant docking stations, but as he passed, Adam grabbed him by the jacket and yanked him o a stop. The man yelped, “Hey, what.”

“UNSC, I’m taking your vehicle.” The man toppled and fell into the sand hand raised as Adam swung himself up onto the back and gunned the engine. The man’s yelling voice faded into a background of wind and spitting sand.

Adam pulled a pair of goggles down over his eyes, pulling a bandana up from his neck and over his face as little particles of blue sand stung his skin.

His one mechanical eye zoomed in and focused on the retreating hovercade. He switched gears and the engine roared as he pushed it to the max speed. The sand flew by below him in great waves and before him a wall of blue sand rose high into the air what seemed like thousands of feet in the sky. His heart pounded against his chest as the first wave of sand rolled over the hovercade, and Sunny was momentarily lost from his view. He screamed Sunny’s name, but his voice was lost in a massive gust of wind.

Darkness enveloped him as great waves of sand slammed against his body. His hands stung as did his hairline.

Up ahead the hovercade, which had been growing closer, was almost completely lost from view.

He screamed again in frustration and toggled his mechanical eye for ALL heat sensing wavelengths hoping that at least one of them would be able to penetrate the sand. Through the pulsing waves of darkness, little pinpoints of light managed to make it through to his eye.

He switched gears and gunned the engine, fighting against the wind and sand that whipped past him.

The wall of sand towered over him into the sky, impenetrable and powerful.

He snarled as his mechanical eye zeroed in on a source of heat flickering in and out in the ghosts of sand, and reached down to the sidearm at his belt.

And that is when the wall hit him.

It was so powerful it drove the wind from his body and threatened to throw him back off the hovercycle, but he lowered his head against great waves of whipping blue sand pelting his face and completely darkening the sky above. His mechanical eye was his only saving grace at that moment

***

The Hovercade pulled into the sand like they had done thousands of times. It was dangerous, but it was good cover, and no one would be willing to follow them. The half unconscious Drev lay hal in and half out of a tarp in the back of the vehicle which whipped back and forth with the powerful sand. A Tesraki sat at the front of the vehicle hunched against the sand blowing in through one busted out window,goggles low over his face as a scarf whipping out behind him.

Two humans stood in the back, crouched against the cab against the worst of the wind and sand.

One of them turned his head staring at the wall of blue behind them which broke and undulated like the depths of the sea. Great towering rifts opened up in the san, and light filtered down from above only to be enveloped again. It was in one of these beams of light, that he saw it.

A figure roaring through the whipping sand.

A lone rider on a hoverbike crouched low against the roarin sand.

He stood, and was nearly blown over hissing in pain against the sand. His partner turned to look at him and he pointed back to where the sand had obscured the figure. He tried to scream over the wind, but his voice was caught up in a gust. Another rift opened up, and his partner saw it.

The figure even closer now than before.

They pulled their weapons, hanging onto the bars on the side of the hovertruck to stead themselves. One leveled a weapon, but the figure was faster taking a single handed shot that tagged him high on the cheek and slammed into the metal of the cab.

He screamed and put a hand to his cheek firing another round.

His partner slammed  his fist against the caburging the Tesraki to go faster.

The man on the bike saw what they were , and slowly stood on the buddy pegs, bringing his feet up to stand on the seat, hands still resting on the bars.

This crazy bastard wasn’t actually going to-

He jumped.

Flinging himself into the air, impossibly high, with great billowing drapes of blue behind him, and lines of light nursing down from above. The boke turned sideways, was caught by a gust of wind and then plowed into the sand, erupting with a gout of fire that lit up the sand with a momentarily burst of orange light.

The figure slammed into the side of the cab hands latching on to the metal bars.

They leveled their weapons, but the figure lashed out, grabbing the first man by the front of his jacket and pulling him into the line of fire. He jerked once and then twice before falling still, two bullets in his back.

The figure threw the corpse aside and it bounced once before vanishing into the sand. 

The second man brought up his weapon to fire again, but the gun was knocked from his grip and out into the sand. An elbow to the face, and he was knocked to the round. A fist was drawn back plowing into the side of his head and knocking him out cold.

***

Sunny woke up with a roaring in her ears and sand spitting at her face. Her vision was cloudy and uncertain as she looked around, feeling something tugging at her.

She looked up, and through the sand and wind she saw a face. His skin was plastered with blue, and his usually blond hair looked almost green. It was Adam, kneeling next to her on the truck.

Sunny had no idea where he could have come from, but there hewas, standing over her. Her vision faded in and out, and she felt almost nauseous.

She could see the bandana he wore moving, indicating that he might have been trying to speak, but the wind was too loud. SO loud that it was almost impossible to hear anything.

That was probably why neither of them noticed the man slide from the front of the cab to lean out the rear window, didn’t notice the gun he held until it was too late.

There was a flash of bright light, and a sharp burst of sparks as the bullet took him high on his right thigh, bouncing off the metal but imparting enough force to cause Adam to slip back. 

Sunny saw, as if in slow motion as his foot was whipped out from under him, and he lost his balance. He fell forward slamming hard against the bed, hands scrambling against the smooth metal. She reached a hand for him,but her fingers were lethargic and stiff.

His right hand caught hard against the back metal, his body whipping with the sand behind the vehicle.

And then a boot came down on his hand grinding into his fingers.

Sunny watched in quiet horror as Adam’s fingers wen limp and then detached.

H was suspended for a second with his hand reaching out towards her, before he was sucked backward into the sand and vanished.

Sunny tilted her head looking up at the human standing over her, just before the boot came down and she was gone.

***

The white sun beat hot down on the blue dessert. The sky above was a uniform green grey and the air was completely still devoid of wind.

The ground was awash with large dunes of blue sand blown over from the sandstorm the night before, an unblemished mass of blue untouched by any living creature.

Until a hand burst from the blue sending grains of blue cascading down its arm. A shoulder broke through, followed by a head, hair completely saturated with the grainy azure sand.

It gasped and coughed, clawing it’s way to the surface, hands against the sand, palms burning in the scorching heat.

Adam pulled himself for the hole in the sand kneeling against the blazing heat.

He was breathing hard and his entire body ached and burned. But worse than that, worse than that was the thought of Sunny.

He had HAD her, he had been SO CLOSE.

He bent forward pounding his fists against the sand, “He could see her face, obscured by a swirling of sand as the Hovercade drove away.

They were going to pay for this.

They were going to die.

He leaned his head back and screamed, a raw animal sound made worse by the grainy san clogging his throat. He screamed and screamed and screamed until his throat choked with pain and blood came welling into his mouth.

He spit it onto the sand teeth clenched.

They had taken the wrong Drev.

And now they were going to PAY

[starr-fall-knight-rise]

Humans Are Space Orcs, “Psych Eval.”

I know some of you were hoping for the stuff going on in between, but I needed to get us moving for purposes related to the 23rd, so I think you guys can forgive me. I hope you like it.

A lot of you were calling for something similar to happen, so I hope it all works out.  The last little bit was super fun to write. 

Dr. Adric Jakande wasn’t entirely sure what he had signed up for. When he had moved from The coastal African provinces, it had been to attend the school of his dreams, and from there his path had led him to the UNSC where he had spent most of his time counseling veterans of the Panasian war. Then a letter had come across his desk looking for volunteers brave enough to take on a very new, and dangerous mission. 

He had planned on ignoring it because his life here was stable and comfortable, but there was something about it he just couldn’t get out of his head.

It would be the hardest thing he had ever done: and it wouldn’t be just humans he would be dealing with.

Somehow, however, he found himself writing his name on the contract that signed away five years of his life to the crew of the Harbinger.

There was no turning back now, so might as well get to work.

He wanted to understand the dynamic of the ship and so had filtered through a hundred or more psychological evals. He didn’t read them all, and he wouldn't interview them all, but there were a select handful he was very interested in, and planned to take a look at himself.

He pressed the button on his desk causing the call light above the door to blink on in green inviting his first patient into the office. Footsteps followed, and a young marine, not too much younger than himself, slipped into the room walking over and sprawling out in the seat across from him, a smile pulled taught over his olive-tan face.

“Cprl. Angel Ramirez?”

“Yes, Sir, that’s me.”

He glanced down at the stats on the eval. The corporal seemed in pretty good shape except, “Tell me corporal, on your evaluation you reported higher elvels of anxiety than normal, Would you be willing to tell me why?” The corporal sat up sraighter his dark amber eyes narrowing a little.as he thought.

“Well, sir…. It has nothing to do with me really…. But a friend of mine has been having some problems lately, and I’m not sure if he will be able to get it together before we are on our way. It would pretty much ruin my life if he was….uh…. Not allowed to com .”

“Ruin your life? That seems pretty serious.”

He shrugged, “He holds the ship together, everyone loves him, and I don’t think we would make it in deep space without him.”

“Do you find deep space to be mentally taxing?”

He frowned a bit forced to think about it, “No, not really but I think that has to do with this friend of mine. He does a lot of stuff to get us to come together, activities, holidays, group meals, it really keeps crew morale and I’m not sure we would have it without him.”

“Is there anything particularly bothering you corporal, besides that/”

“No, I guess I miss my family a little, but I was just there, so that is expected. I’ll video chat them from orbit, so it will all be cool.”

He let the corporal go with a nod. The man was stable, happy, and well-adjusted. He would use him as a baseline.

The call light came on again, and another figure stepped into the room, at first he assumed they were a man, though turning around he could see that wasn’t the case. She had very short hair, and a face that could have gone either way, not unpleasant just different.

She took a stiff seat in the chair opposite him.

“Sgt Maverick Morozov…. Russian?”

“My family was a long time ago.”

“Says here you are the ship’s Chaplain.”

“Yes, sir/”

“Do you have a lot of work on the ship?”

“Not really sir, most of the crew is Agnostic, though some come and visit me to talk, though now that you’re aboard the ship that will probably trickle off.”

“Does this bother you?”

“No, not really. I will help people if they need it, but I don’t actively try to solve other people’s personal problems.”

“I am assuming you have a good relationship with your religion?”

“Yes sir, it saved my life once.”

“Do you think this has helped you cope with being in deep space?” 

“Deep space feels safe to me/”

“Why is that.”

She shrugged, “I don’t know, its one of those feelings like maybe nothing has touched that place other than you and the will of some kind of creator. Space isn’t malevolent to me, its empty and dark-- in a comforting way.”

“Do you often experience malevolent things when you aren’t in space?” She paused frowning, “This makes me sound insane doesn’t it, but yeah, and don’t ask me why I don’t know. It doesn’t bother me that much, I can handle it, I just don’t like to.”

Interesting, he would have to take a look into that later.

“And your reported anxiety levels have been high lately. Why is that?”

“On the behalf of a friend of mine.”

Interesting.

“Someone on his ship.”

“Yes sir, if he can’t come with us, I will probably quit.”

“That’s a lot of loyalty.”

“I’ve no doubt he would do the same for all of us, so….. Yeah.”

He let her go thinking about this friend of there who seemed so important to them. He had no doubt she was talking about the same person they all were. He had picked this group of people very intentionally.

The door opened again, and a very, very large figure ducked through the doorway. Adric had to sit back in his seat to contain the surprise. The Drev was HUGE, he had never seen one in person before, and this creature was just massive. Six limbs, and bright red carapace. It almost had to duck to avoid hitting its head on the ceiling.

It ignored the chair, which made sense, and happily kneeled on the floor before his desk still coming into eye level with him even as he sat on his chair.

“Kanan?”

“Yes Kanan Lumnus’s son though all my human friends call me Cannon.”

“Forgive me, I have never interviewed a Drev before.”

“I have never been psychologically evaluated either, so I suppose we share a commonality.”

“Your file is a little sparse, but it says here you were a veteran of the Drev war, and that you were injured during that time. Do you experience any psychological symptoms related to the event.

“Not to the war itself, Drev don’t respond to trauma like humans, mostly because we do not perceive it as trauma. The worst part came after the war when I was exiled.”

He blinked, “Exiled?”

“Yes, i received a grievous injury during the war and my mother banished me from the clan to sacrifice myself to the burning spirits.”

He simply blinked, “Your mother wanted you to……”

“Throw myself into the volcano.”

“But you didn’t.”

“No I betrayed our traditions and left Anin. I nearly died starving a month later, but the humans took kindness on me, and I was recovered.”

“Feel free not to answer this question, but it says here that your…. Mate died during the war.”

His golden eyes saddened a bit, “She did, but she died in glorious combat, so I am not sad for her death. I am sad because of how little time I got to spend with her. Nechal and I would have had a strong brood, but we never got the chance.”

“How does this affect your daily life?”

He shrugged, “It does not, but i think about her sometimes at night before I sleep. And I do my best to honor her memory, and the memory of my father who died during the war as well.”

The Drev had plenty to be psychologically unstable about, but otherwise he seemed fine. He wasn’t sure yet just what a stable Drev looked like though, so he would have to do some more digging, “Thank you, Cannon, you may go.” 

He met with a few other humans before moving on to his next patient Both of the humans were fine aside from concerns abut this unnamed friend of theirs, which seemed to be a recurring theme.

The door opened again  and looked over confused at first when he did not see anyone , however a sharp scuttling across the floor caused him to look over his desk where a small, almost spider like alien was skittering across the floor.

As he watched it inflated a flap of skin at the back of it’s head and floated up onto the chair turning to face him. Its large orange prismatic eyes watched him cooly.

“Dr. Krill.”

“Yes, and you are Dr. Jakande.”

He glanced down at his paper and blew out through his cheeks. He wasn’t sure how to go about this. The anxiety this creature was experiencing nearly broke their scale, and on a scale of neuroticism he almost broke that as well. If he saw this in a person he would be very concerned.

“You seem anxious, doctor.”

“I am always anxious, it is a proclivity of my species. If you want an accurate reading on your test, you should lower the levels to a halfway point”

He glanced down at his paper, “That is still pretty high.”

“I am the commanding physician on a ship where all you humans are bent on getting yourselves killed, and even when you  aren't I have to worry about whether or not you will choke on a grape because your larynx are so poorly placed. I am constantly surrounded by creatures that don’t understand the meaning of caution.” he looked very seriously at Adric just then, “These are my humans and I do not want any of them to die if I can help it though they seem to defy me at every opportunity.”

“Your humans?”

“Yes , my humans, my responsibility therefore they are all MINE.”

Ok this little guy was a bit on the crazy side. If he saw this out of a human he would be concerned, but i the creature was already prone to neuroticism than he wasn’t entirely sure what to do.

“Not to mention a friend of mine may not be returning to the ship, and if he doesn’t I will be out of a job.”

He paused, there was mention f that friend again, “Why would you be out of a job?”

“Because he is the only reason I am on this ship in the first place. He holds my loyalty.

Very interesting.

He let the little doctor go taking mental notes to talk more with him later.

A woman stepped into the room next,her long dark hair falling about her shoulders, large glasses glittering in the overhead lights as she adjusted her coat.

“Dr. Katie Keddrick you are the second attending physician on the Harbinger.”

“Yes, I was brought in to ease some of the burden from Dr. Krill.”

“And how are you coping with that.”

“Oh I am doing very well. I love it aboard the ship. Its just one big family honestly, very nice and homey.”

“That ‘s good. Tell me is your reported anxiety to do with a friend of yours who may or may not be able to return to the ship?”

The doctor paused her eyes wide, “How did you know.”

“A common theme.”

“Well yeah actually. He has a tendency to take all the burden on his own shoulders, so he doesnt cause issue to anyone else. He likes to control things though I don’t think he knows that. It never bothers any of us, but it is getting to him, and we are all worried that they won’t let him through.”

“This friend means a lot to you.”

“He brought our little family together, so yes.”

“You see the crew as family.” 

She smiled, “Well doctor, yes but you will find that out there in the galaxy humanity survives by creating families. Everything that makes us human is magnified under the lens of space, our power our weakness, our goods and our bads.”

He talked with her a little more, she was intelligent and insightful about the workings of the crew, information that he found valuable before letting her go.

He only had one more evaluation before the big one.

This Drev dd not have to duck through the door as she came in. She was very small though the color of her carapace was a pleasant electric blue. She was able to seat herself on the chair tilting her head to look at him.

He wasn’t sure what to make of her evaluation.

“Chalan.”

“Call me Sunny.” 

“Chief weapons officer.”

“Yes.”

“I am going to be honest, I was not sure what to make of your evaluation. You come across as someone trying very hard to prove they aren't affected by something very important.”

She tiled her head. She had the same gold eyes as the other Drev, “My mother didn’t like how short I was, or that I was not as talented as my brother, she treated me poorly and my father died during the war, so forgive me if I still have some unresolved conflicts.”

Very blunt, interesting.

“”How do you cope with those.”

“I remind myself that I beat my mother in open combat, also I have friends now.”

Hmm yeah they were going to have to talk some more for sure. This was less of a healed kind of thing and more of a stick it to the man sort of attitude. She was still trying to prove something, probably more to herself than to others.

“And you are anxious about a friend of yours?”

“Yes.”

“Why?”

“Because if he does not board this ship again, I don’ think he will live to see next year, and if that happens, I doubt I will either.”

That was…. that was kind of concerning and intense.

“Who is this friend of yours.”

She shook her head, “No, I will not be telling you.”

Aggressive loyalty, very, very interesting.

He tried prodding a little more out of her, but she didn’t budge, and he eventually let it go allowing her to leave.

He had one more evaluation…. The big one.

***

It was late, this evaluation had been scheduled for the last possible second, and he was curious to see what would come through those doors. He heard the clatter of UNSC issued dress shoes long before he saw anything coming steadily up the hall. He left the light on, and waited at his desk for the person to pass through the doors.

It paused outside his door and then slowly opened inward.

The light fell on a man much, much younger than he had expected. In fact, he could have passed for early twenties, if the uniform he wore hadn’t suggested at least seven years of service, which would make him, at minimum, in his mid twenties. He wore the uniform well, almsot comfortably as he crossed the room.

The look on his face was pleasant like it was just about to break into a smile. His one visible green eye was curious flickering around the room with some interest.

He made his way to the desk and held out a hand, “Dr.”

He took it, the grip was strong, “Commander.”

He sat in the seat just opposite and Dr Adric stared at the eye patch that covered his other eye.

He nodded to it, “I thought you had a mechanical eye.

“I do.” He said softly lifting the eyepatch up, so he could see the workings of the cold metal ball and its black aperture.

“Why do you still wear an eye patch?”

“Because, the eye has better vision than my normal one, and it can be overwhelming. I generally only use it when I need binocular vision.”

“Why not just shut it off, why wear the eye patch.”

He paused thinking head tilted, “It was a gift from a friend after losing the eye in a moment where I wasn’t sure I would make it through the injury. It lightened things up for me reminded me that there is always a way through.” He smiled, “Plus I think it makes me look dashing.”

The two of them laughed together for a moment.

“Why did you call extended leave like this, commander.”

HE sighed leaning back in his seat, “I had to work on myself for the good of the crew. I mean I saw how surprised you were, probably based on how young I am, right? Well due to that I am a novice at leading. I haven't had the time to cultivate how things work when commanding a crew, and I have made some mistakes that have almost cost me my job in the past.”

He listened.

“People tell me I shoulder too much burden and take on too much guilt. I recently learned that I have a tough time relinquishing control on things.”

“Why is that/ Do you often feel out of control.”

“No, but I think that’s why. The last time I was out of control is when I was a child and didn’t know how to fix it, so I assume bad habits formed from there.”

“Your family was stable?”

“Yes very, but school was…. Less than easy for me. I joined the flight academy after my freshman year of high school, so I don’t think I really had the life experience that most other people do when it comes to interacting with people my own age. The point is moot now, but it did hold e back a little maturity wise, I think.”

“You left due to extreme anxiety and stress?”

“Yes, I wasn’t handling it well.”

“And how are you doing now. I don’t see any records here saying you went to see someone .”

The man sighed, and for the first time Dr Adric noticed the German Shepherd sitting at the man’s side resting her head in his lap. She was wearing a service vest.

“I didn’t. I have done therapy before but the first time it didn’t work and the second time I was left with more questions than answers.” He patted the dog’s head, “She helped me the most and I decided that it might be prudent for me to try other avenues. I realized while I was gone that I was neglecting time for myself, and so I have developed a schedule to combat this.”

“Oh.”

“My average working day should be around nine hours, I only need about six hours of sleep. IN that case that gives me eight hours of free time, one of those I will use for exercise in the morning, and another for flight time.”

“Flight time?”

“My greatest stress relief, there is no better way to feel in control in an out o control way than flying, so I have worked it into my schedule and into budget in some way or another so that I can do what this fleet and the UNSC needs.”

“So, you have given up some responsibility, found yourself some free time, discovered stress relieving alternatives. Have you changed the way that you command in general?”

“I have made some changes to the command structure including a panel of advisors, which was just a good idea anyway.”

“You talked about maturity in your earlier statement. Do you feel that has increased much in the past few months?”

The man smiled and sighed, “As it turns out doc, that is the one thing I couldn’t fix at least in part.”

“Oh?”

“I can handle conflict and  issues like an adult, but I have decided that some of that isn’t a maturity thing, it is simply a product of personality. So if the UNSC has an issue with a commander that makes too many  Star Wars’ references  and listens to 2000 year old rock music on the bridge, then I guess maybe I am not the man for the job.”

They talked a bit more until eventually Dr Adric stood.

The commander followed, he looked openly nervous now, though that was to be expected, this was the moment of truth.

Dr. Adric held out a hand, and the commander took it tentatively though his grip was still strong.

“I look forward to working with you and your crew.”

The near smile broke on the man’s face into a pleasant grin that sent little crinkly lines up through his eyes. 

“You are in for a good time, Dr. Make sure to read the rules before you come aboard”

Dr Adric stood confused for a moment before glancing down at his hand.

He had not noticed the Commander slip him the folded piece of paper. He glanced up towards the door as the man’s foot vanished around the corner.

He stood in stunned silence for a moment before looking down and tentatively opening the note.

Welcome Dr. Adric Jakande to the UNSC Harbinger,

On behalf of my crew, we look forward to having you, and I am pleased that you are here to help my men with whatever they may need. You will be an amazing asset to our team.

There are a few ground rules I would like to lay out first. Of course, you know the UNSC code of conduct which  I will not repeat, but I have a few personal rules that will make our lives all the much easier.

Rule number 1: Don’t chuck Marshmallows at Neutron Stars.