#rkxmnho

[soljirk]

✨ pillowtalk (past)

( a starter for @rkxmnho )

as she sat on her couch waiting for minho’s arrival, suji started to wonder if this ‘thing’ they had going on should really continue the way it was right now. there was nothing wrong about what they were doing. they were having fun, and things were honestly decent. however, she knew she wouldn’t be able to keep this up. she fell into her emotions too quickly, and she worried that she would be the one that ended up broken at the end of this roller coaster ride. but maybe she could still hold off. maybe it didn’t have to be tonight that she would tell him this should stop. maybe they could have one last night with no regrets. they could, right?

[rkjei]

   WELCOME TO THE MGAS   //   episode five       . .       #4011  -  김진희.*  KIM JINHEE.     ━━━━━━       .   .   .     HATE MONSTER, 4MINUTE x EXO                   TEAM STYX.

this round, jei’s just full of mixed feelings.

on the one hand, there’s the bitter taste of failure.  it sinks into her bloodstream like a poison when she hears that they’re in the bottom for their performances this week, which means that someone is going home.  jei can only hope that it’s her, that none of the boys on her team have to suffer such a cruelty when they just want to follow their dreams.  this is their dream, it isn’t hers.  life though, is cruel - or maybe the judging panel is crueler.  how can they say that she has more talent than jeno does? how do they decide the tipping scale of who has more talent than another?

it’s frustrating, and terribly so, but jei can’t say anything at all.  the only reaction she has is a tight pull of a frown on her lips and the way her brows knit together when jeno says goodbye to them one last time.  if it was up to her, this wouldn’t be happening.  if it was up to her, she’d be the one running free and he’d be the one staying to try another week.  after all, that’s what jeno wants.  it seems that in this world, what you want isn’t what you get.  

so why does anyone do it? why make it a dream if all anyone does is get hurt on the path to victory? she seems to answer her own question, though - after all, jei’s never been one to take the easy path.  if she’s a fighter for the things she wants, it makes sense that others would be, too.  

for this, though? this isn’t a future jei has in mind, so it’s not something she wants to fight for.  for all of jei’s devotion to her teams and making sure they try and get to safe places just because she doesn’t want to hold them back, it wasn’t enough.  whether or not she wants this for herself, she still wants it for them.  and that’s why it hurts, indefinitely, to see jeno walking from the stage and even after as the new teams are announced and she’s expected to go through this all again for one more week.  hopefully, just one more.

and it’s on the other hand that there’s familiarity.

perhaps it’s a small reprieve, a little bit of mercy after two weeks of being thrown into the fires with people unknown.  this time, for the first time in the entire competition, she’s been given someone she at least had the pleasure of an acquaintanceship with, and also - another girl, which would have been enough to make her content in and of itself. being given both feels a bit suspicious, like icing too sweet on a cake but jei has learned to take her blessings while she can on this show.  

it’s only afterwards that jei realizes that it’s odd, considering she never really thought of anything on the mgas being a blessing in the first place.  then she remembers sungwoon, hyunjin, and everyone else on her previous teams.  oddly, jei thinks that maybe parts of the show weren’t so bad, after all.

THE WEEK BEGINS and jei starts to question her sanity.  the thought that any of this could have been a blessing is obviously a stretch, and it’s proven in the first few minutes with the boys alone.  this is by far the oddest team she’s ever been thrown into the fires with, and jei’s not sure she’ll be able to survive the first three days - let alone the week required to get to doomsday.  for all her initial relief that came with at least knowing someone on her team, it did not save her from the variables of those she did not.

in fact, jei’s fairly sure the only purely sane one is doyeon, though that’s not really a surprise.  after all, she’s female.

it all begins when they try to come up with team names, and that’s only just the start of jei’s suffering.  somehow, they got on the idea of greek myths, probably from moon bin - which is fine on its own, of course.  she actually enjoys mythology herself, as she had to study it in her courses for university, but when someone suggested team cerberus, it was the beginning of the end for her hopefully peaceful week.

after all, team cerberus was the birth of “ team woof”, which meant the birth of the boys barking in her face for a laugh on their own behalf.  every time it happens, jei somehow manages to find a camera and the look on her face is one that says give me death.  still, though, for all the joking aside, jei doesn’t say anything and allows them to have their fun.

fun with friends seems hard to come by in this competition, anyway.  and if the fun and games don’t hinder the progress of their team in the long run, jei isn’t the kind to put a stop to it.  but she is the kind of person who will look dead in the eyes every time someone tries to woof at her.  she’s absolutely certain that this is a big plan concocted by moon bin to torture her because he’s scared of her, but that’s another story for a different day.

eventually, though, they go in a not so different direction with styx as their team name.  not too different, of course, from cerberus who guards the gates of the damned but this is apparently a theme that they’re running with this week, considering the songs they’re mashing up are hate by 4minute and monster by exo.  thankfully, minho knows well enough how to mix songs on his own and make a mashup because otherwise they’d be left to search blindly on the internet for one.

THIS WEEK, jei is asked to help with choreography considering her first stage with dynamiq was a unique one.  this time though, she feels a little better about it - even though she considered the first stage a disaster because there was no one she could ask about skill levels and she only saw them doing well, at least this time there are a lot of strong dancers to be able to make suggestions if something doesn’t work or if it doesn’t match the skill of what they can do.  even the least skilled of the five of them is still on the average side.

the problem is the theme.  it’s nothing .. bad, not in the scope of the song and definitely not when it comes to the lengths of her creativity.  it’s mostly just a bad concept in jei’s eyes, who would have preferred to trek the path of a more horror - based concept instead of a creepy nightmare of a twisted love gone wrong.  there’s too many memories that surface with the idea of a toxic love, ones that she doesn’t really want to remember.

still, it’s what the team decided on, so she has to deliver.

which means more late nights.  especially since this time, there’s a lot more singing involved than the past two weeks - it comes with the territory, probably, considering the mashup.  there’s just a lot of singing, a lot of dancing, a lot of everything.  

it’s something that jei has come to expect, being tired.  but it’s more odd that she finds that no matter how late she comes in, the boys are still there doing their own practice.  they too, must find fault in themselves that jei can’t see. after all, working hard is one thing but destroying yourself to clutch at safety is another thing entirely.  thankfully, with a few days worth of convincing, she manages to get them to at least sleep in the corners of the practice room and to go home and shower once in awhile.  no matter how important this is to them, and how important it is to the team, it’s not worth them getting sick over.

even if all they do is woof when they see her.

.. except haknyeon.  he likes to say nyan.  at this point, it’s like she’s begging the cameras to kill her when she looks at them.

it’s still early in the week when jei is seen looking completely flabbergasted.  “ what is big dick energy.”  the words don’t sound like a question even if they should be since she has absolutely no idea what the phrase means.  they sound more like an accusation, mostly because jei feels like she should be offended.  after all, the male anatomy isn’t really even that strong if the way men react to it is generally anything to go by.

they’re sitting around at dinner when moon bin tells her that she has .. whatever big dick energy is, all the while making minho practically howl with laughter.  it makes her feel like she’s justified in feeling offended, because if it’s that funny certainly it’s not a compliment.  her eyes narrow as she waits for a response, but of course, she doesn’t really get one.  they’re too busy laughing amongst themselves, and jei simply sighs in defeat.

when will this week of hell be over? with all the jokes, she can barely even concentrate on her thoughts, or the things that linger in the back of her mind that haunt her when they go through their choreography together.

it’s only later that jei realizes that this is a good thing.  even if jei will end the week still unsure about whether or not they were complimenting her with whatever big dick energy really is.

DOOMSDAY comes and there’s something that sits on her chest.  whether it’s the thrill of the stage or the anxiety that will come later when the judges have to rate their performance, she’s not sure.  the first time they critiqued her performance, they said that there wasn’t enough skill to go around to pull it off.  this time, though, jei hopes they’ll say the opposite.  they’ve all worked hard this week, and all the skills are there.  

they just have to pull it off and prove it to them.  in spite of the random behaviour throughout the week, it’s .. a little odd, but jei thinks that they actually worked well together.  it can be seen in the quiet way she says woof before they leave the kt building for the final time before performing - maybe, just maybe, she cares about them a little after all.  even if the whoops from the boys are a little embarrassing, she’ll accept it if it means that it makes them happy.  if it helps them to relieve their stress even if by just a little.

perhaps sometimes a little comedy is good for the soul when you’re worrying about other things - like, competing against your own team, for example.  or competing against members of your past teams that you’ve grown to care for.  jei knows about this all too well, because she’s spent a lot of time lately thinking about how hyunjin is holding up, or how sungwoon has blamed himself like she did when she was a leader for dynamiq.  her feelings can’t get in the way though.  they can’t make her any less devoted to the team she has now.

competition is healthy, sometimes.  she’s just not sure if it’s healthy in this stifled environment.  jei thinks she’ll always hate the way the judges force a stage in the short timespan of just a week to decide whether or not the people on it are worthy of being kept around or not.

this time around, they’re team b so they don’t have to wait too long before it’s their turn to take the stage.

the first performance flies by though, and before jei can even think it seems, they’re the ones being led to perform.  “ as above, so below; we are team styx -”  the team introduction is one that was inspired by the horror aspect of their stage.  then it’s the personal introductions, one by one.  once upon a time, there was a point where jei thought the only thing important to know about her was just her number and her name.  sungwoon taught her differently, and this week, she offered a suggestion to go along with their team introduction for something more personal.  

to work on her own brand, if you will.  it’s a little embarrassing, but it’s worth a shot.  “ capturing your gaze so you can’t look away, i’m the medusa of team styx - #4011, kim jinhee.”

then, it’s time.  they take their places on the stage, jei kneeling on the floor and the lights going completely dark save for the spotlight on her and doyeon, whose head is laying in her lap.  she’s the one to start the song off, again - it needs to be a strong beginning, to prove that their stage isn’t one that the audience can look away from.  her fingers are brushing through doyeon’s long hair as she looks down at the girl “ sleeping” in her lap, and begins to sing along with the music.

your eyes are telling me liar liar liar, don’t lie to me i don’t wanna know anymore i don’t wanna know know know not anymore, no no no, it’s over

their stage is one that leads the audience into a nightmare - doyeon’s nightmare.  they pulled a lot of aspects from psychological horror and melded it with the concept of a toxic love, and funneled it into a dreamscape of the girl who faced an awful relationship and has trouble forming new ones, in spite of growing interest in those around her.  the only one that she can trust is her best friend, her “ saviour” in it all.

it’s made clear that the villain of this story is moon bin, his dancing aggravated and angry to go along with the words that he sings.  throughout the choreography, jei is by doyeon’s side or behind her, a memory and a belief that someone is always at your side when you need it most.

in her heart, jei knows this isn’t necessarily true, but it works for the choreography and their story, in any case.

her singing parts are always very distinct, and make an impact on the song as a whole, regardless of whether or not she has as many lines as doyeon and moon bin or not.  it’s done purposefully this way - her role may be in the background, but always there.  a reminder, that doyeon can be saved if she wants it.

i don’t wanna know all the same excuses everyday i don’t wanna do all the same arguments everyday it’s meaningless, i am tired

the choreography turns a little more wild after this.  introducing haknyeon and minho into the storyline as potential suitors, but doyeon’s fear getting the worst of her - that’s their part in this story.  through the movements, and the lyrics, it’s like they’re becoming new horror stories, similar to the one she had with moon bin - although far from true in the real world, it’s obvious on the stage.  he’s a malevolent presence in all of this, guiding the other boys to destroy her heart with no remorse.

but jei won’t have it.  after all, she’s the saviour.

by the end of the chorus and doyeon’s last line, she’s laying back down on the floor - a reminder that this is, again, just a dream no matter how nightmarish it may seem.  but with every creeping line that bin sings, her body twists, turns, contorts - that is, until jei stands between them.

your eyes are telling me i don’t wanna know know know not anymore, no no no, it’s over

bin can’t get closer to doyeon this time, because jei brings him to his knees.  not every nightmare has a perfect ending.  not everyone can be saved.  this time, though, doyeon lies still.  this time, there can be a happy ending when the stage goes dark.  jei just hopes that it’s enough to get them through to a safe spot.

but if anyone has to go home, it should be her.

[rkjoohyvn]

↠ * mnet global auditions season 4 ,                                        ♥«´¨`•°.. » episode four ! that new new »                     ¸.•* DEJA VU by NU’EST W ! ( LINE DISTRIBUTION & STYLE ) `*•.

the ending of episode three happens much faster than she ever anticipated, people getting eliminated more quickly than she could process. it takes a while for her to full comprehend their ranking as a team, and even longer to realize that not all of them are moving on.

once she does, she’s heartbroken. she doesn’t believe wonshik deserves to go home at all with how well-rounded he is, and nearly finds herself trying to speak up, but the words just get caught up in her mouth. disbelief is soon taken over by the guilt---she’d been the one to recommend the song, she’d been the leader of the team. surely, she could have found a way to prevent this; if only she’d worked harder, then maybe none of them would have had to go home, maybe they’d have been at the top. it’s hard to stop the tears that threaten to fall, but she manages, barely, only to break down as soon as they’re all swept off stage.

but she isn’t given any time to deal with the guilt, deal with the regret. the mga’s are fast-paced, and she’s learned just how fast in the past week and, as cruel as it is, she has no choice but to push those thoughts to the back of her mind. she has to move on. she has a new team now, a new challenge to face.

it’s a little bittersweet, meeting new people when she’d grown attached to the group she’d been in last week. she wishes to redeem herself as the team leader, but the rules don’t allow it, and she isn’t sure whether she’s disappointed that she can’t, or relieved that she doesn’t have to worry about whether or not she’ll be ale to actually do it. at the very least, she’s happy that minho is still in the same group with her, allowing for some sort of anchor in this fast-paced, ever-changing journey.

still, despite her initial apprehensions about it, she once again finds herself becoming comfortable with this new group, especially after they all decide to do a band concept for part of their performance, an idea first brought forth by daniel, and one she thinks is so brilliant she’s just as enthusiastic about it as he is. perhaps that had been their downfall last time; they’d stuck too close to a classic, hadn’t taken enough risks. and this is a big one that she hopes will pay off.

throughout the week, she learns about each and every person, once again picking up on their traits and skills, their different personalities that didn’t clash, but rather worked together in productive discussions and constructive criticisms because they all had one goal: to put out their best. it shows in the way they help each other, in the way every person makes sure that everyone else is doing well, that everyone else is getting the help they need.

it shows in the way yongsun takes the reigns of as the leader extremely well, making sure every single detail is taken care of, reigning them in if they ever got off topic, checking in on everyone if she senses them struggling. she witnesses it first hand when yongsun approaches her to practice their lines together, in her soft yet strict approach at helping the others. "you remind me of my vocal coach back home in sydney,” she tells her as they take a break from rehearsing. “i always viewed her as an older sister. you’ve got that same warm kind of feeling.”

it shows in rose’s determination to familiarize herself with the electric guitar and playing in a band, both foreign concepts to her. her willingness to learn makes it easy for seola to teach her and guide her, and, despite her initial insecurities, rose shows a great deal of courage to be willing to play in a band for the first time at the mgas, whose audience was much larger than anything seola had ever played for, and she admires her for it. even when they’re working on the choreography for the transition from instruments to choreography, seola learns of just how talented her fellow teammate is.

it shows in the way daniel so openly admits his own weakness in dancing so that he can get help with it. as someone who has always had a problem with admitting her own faults, she respects his candor when it’s her turn to help him through the choreography, carefully explaining each step, making sure that he’s not only got the choreography donw, but also that he’s aware of his spacing when in formation, aware of how his lines look as he performs. "you know,” she tells him as she helps adjust the position of his arms and waist during a particular move, watching their reflection in the mirror. “you say you’re bad at this, but with some practice, i bet you’d be pretty decent.”

and it shows in the way minho holds her up when she reaches her lowest point mid-week and she goes to him with all her thoughts, dumping each and every insecurity and sense of guilt on him, so much so that she feels bad afterward for having done so. but he shows great maturity and empathy when he tells her he understands what she’s going through, but that she shouldn't be too hard on herself, that all they can do for now is do their best. “i need you to be amazing again, so i can be too,” he tells her, and she feels the tears welling up in her eyes again. when did she become such a crybaby? “otherwise i’d be too worried and tripping on my own feet and we can’t have that okay?” he then wraps her in an embrace and she feels as if a dark cloud is being lifted. she hugs him back, chucking at his words even as she continues to cry and let it all out. “see, you would have been a great leader. i knew i voted for you for a reason,” she jokes quietly, referring to when they’d all voted on who would be the leader for the week. and as much as she’d like to sit around to recover, he’s absolutely right; it’s time to get back to work.

the work load is large, with having to not only learn new choreography, learn a new song, but also having to arrange a band version of the first minute and a half, all within a week. but with the group working like a well-oiled machine, things seem to be running as smoothly as she could have dreamed. the choreography is cleaned up, the band is playing like a cohesive unit, their name is picked, and their stage outfits chosen.

before she knows it, the day of filming arrives and her nerves are once again on high alert. she doesn’t think they can get any worse, but a cog in the machine comes lose and the gears come to a grinding halt once they run through rehearsals and daniel makes a mistake with the choreography. tensions are unbelievably high as they leave the stage afterward, so much so that she feels she can’t breathe. she can only imagine how daniel must feel after making such an error on stage, and she doesn’t want him to feel that way, so she approaches him from behind, walking in step beside him as she wraps an arm around his, hoping it’s comforting, even if just a tiny bit.

“hey, you okay?” she asks him, concern clearly written in her tone. she glances at him, soft smile on her features. “it’s okay, you know. we all make mistakes.” she bites on her lower lips, trying to find the right words to say, deciding to take it to a lighter tone. “i know it doesn’t seem like it, but even i make mistakes. shocking, right?” she laughs quietly to herself, lips pursed into a close-lipped smile. “mistakes don’t matter. what matters is how you recover from them and learn. we’ll go through it again, yeah?”

in the end they all run through their performance again, making sure they’re back on track just before filming.

last week, her team had been the fifth to perform, and it had put her extremely on edge while watching everyone else’s performances. now, with them going dead last, she isn’t sure she’ll make it to the end. her fingers are tingling and her mind and heart are going a million miles a minute. she finds that watching the performances of the other teams helps, but it also puts more doubt in her mind. everyone on the show is so talented---where does she stand?

by some act of god, she makes it to the end, and their team name is called. she trails behind most everyone, standing just in front of yongsun as they make their way to the stage. “hello, we are girl crush!” they introduce themselves, bowing at the audience and at the judges, each of them dressed to the nines and looking sharp as all hell in their suits.

afterward, they make their way to their starting positions, instruments at the ready, and she takes one last deep breath.

remember to have fun, she tells herself. you got this.

she starts off the song on her electric guitar, fingers gliding across the strings like she’s been playing it her entire life, and she has. she owes all of her guitar knowledge to her father, and this is in part an ode to him, to show him that all the time he’s spent with her is paying off, that she’s doing what she loves and is using what she’s learned from him well. she leans in toward the mic as her voice and rose’s joins in with the melody. daniel and yongsun then take over before the song fully takes off, the rest of the instruments joining in to make the song have a fuller sound.

난 널 그리워하고 i’m missing you 너는 날 기다리게 해 and you make me wait for you

she looks directly into the camera as she sings her first line, voice soft but clear as she tries to emote the feeling of having loved and lost, drawing from her most recent experience at her mother leaving her family behind. it’s painful to admit that, even after all the wrong she’s done, seola still misses her, even if it’s just a line in a song.

after her short adlib, she no longer has any lines until just before they switch to choreography, so she focuses instead on her fingering, making sure she’s in time with the rhythm minho keeps on the drums, still aware of her facial expressions, painting a melancholy expression on her features with her lips turned down at the corners in the most minute of manners, her brows ever so slightly furrowed.

say woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo

she sings her lines with longing, eyes closed as she brings her lips closer to the microphone, still strumming along to their arrangement. the most difficult part of their performance, in her opinion, is coming up soon, and soon as rose finishes her line and the lights dim, she quickly removes the guitar from around her shoulders and carefully places it down on its stand. she then rushes to join her fellow teammates in formation, making it just in time before the lights come back on, with minho at the front of their straight line. it had run flawlessly, despite the small hiccup they had during rehearsals.

from behind, they do the arm choreography while minho raps, and then break off toward the sides into full choreography. as much fun as she’d had doing the band section, seola enjoys this the most. she considers dancing to be just another extension to her singing, another way to express the emotions and nuances of a song when her voice isn’t in use. her movements are sharp as a knife where they need to be, smooth as running water at other times. she’s a trained dancer through and through, and it shows in her precision and musicality. compared to last week, this type of choreography is more her style.

밝은 곳을 걸으며 빛을 남겨줘 let me walk to the bright place, leave the light on

when she sings again, there’s hardly a sign at all that she’d been exerting herself, her voice still loud and clear, barely a waver to be found. she falls to one knee at the end of her line, continuing on with the choreography. allowing the rhythm to dictate the flow of her movements, in time with the pace of the song as well as her other teammates. 

the mirroring part of the choreography comes up and she positions herself in front of their formation, turning around to face minho, making sure their movements are perfectly in sync as they look at one another. 

네가 보여 i can see you

she whips her body around again at the end of her line, and they once again disperse across the stage into a new formation after minho raps his line. she repeats her wooing line again, walking across stage with purpose as she once again finds the camera, looking straight into it. she then launches into the following line, yongsun joining in as they sing the section they’d first gone over together during practice.

잠시라도 사라지면 안 돼 deja vu deja vu don’t disappear even for a moment, deja vu deja vu

with all her lines sung, she puts all her effort into the last few counts of choreography, face still just as expressive as it had been when she’d started the song. their performance comes to an end to the sound of yongsun and daniel’s voices, and they all form into a circle, each of their backs turned toward the middle as they sit on the floor.

they’re quietly shooed off stage, and she’s one of the last to leave, wanting to savor the moment for just a bit longer, of their hard work paying off. even if she’s in the bottom again this week, at least she can say she’s proud, not only of herself, but of the rest of her group.

“congratulations on a great performance guys,” she says once they’re back stage and their mics have been removed. she’s all smiles and giddy as she grabs onto the shoulders of minho with her two hands on either side of his head, using his height as leverage to get more air as she jumps up and down. “you all did amazing.”

and she means it. she just hopes the judges think the same.

[rkmg]

introduction to team e, otherwise known as dream.e.

leader: @rkxseola + @yccjungrk, @rkxmnho, @wonshikrk, @rkmg

[memoriesofyccjungrk]

mga season 4 episode 3 ― 2011 classics team round

#4007 ― choi yoojung  •  tell them by block b   •  line distribution @rkxmnho, @rkxseola, @rkmg, @wonshikrk

names were called one-by-one, and yoojung couldn't help but expect it. she couldn't help but try and prepare herself for when her name was finally called ― because all the people who were leaving were just as talented as she was, so she was probably going with them. it would only make sense, after all. judges explained the shortcomings of each, why they were leaving the show, and yoojung was waiting. because one-by-one talented former contestants were called, and yoojung knew she would be among them ― she just didn't want to cry. she'd already looked like an idiot when they'd called her name, she couldn't possibly look like an idiot again and just start sobbing because she was going home. so, she was waiting and trying to blink fast enough to keep her eyes from watering too much ― enough that it would've been noticeable that she was trying not to cry.

she even had it all planned out ― when her name was called ( in yoojung's eyes, it was definitely a when, not an if ) yoojung would give a graceful smile, bow, and leave as she was expected to ― as the contestants before her. it would be fine, she would be perfectly fine ― disappointed, but fine.

so, when the ceos announced that they were calling their final name, and that she wasn't leaving, yoojung was surprised ― no, surprised was an understatement. but it was hard to let it settle in. it was hard, because yoojung never expected to make it past auditions. she never expected to actually make it on the big screen ― and when she'd made it through the first auditions, it felt like a dream. had it not been from somi and doyeon's persistence with their own routines, yoojung may have thought she imagined even auditioning for the mgas. she hadn't even expected to make it this far ― so, how could she have expected to make it to the third episode ?

maybe it wasn't that big of a feat for some, but for yoojung, who had worried over her performance profusely, barely slept  ( and, when she did, it was on a cot she found in the studio ), and hardly eaten in order to make it as perfect as it was ― and she didn't even believe it was anywhere near perfect. she was sure the surprise was written fairly clearly on her face as she stared up at the ceos as their next task was explained.

team battle.

of course yoojung was nervous ― she wasn't particularly good with people, and even when she was, she was still awkward at first meeting. especially with people so tall. yoojung approached her group meekly, the rest already have met up before yoojung finally pushed her way through the others. she gave them a soft smile and bow ― she'd studied all the profiles before actually coming onto the show, and knew them well enough to know that almost everyone was older than her ― not by much, but still older. she also knew, from watching each member's performances, that they were all also incredibly talented. yoojung tried not to think about how terrified she was for this competition as she introduced herself, voice soft compared to the other's ― “ hello, i'm choi yoojung ― or, #4007. ” she chuckled lightly, glancing away. “ i'm excited to work with you all ! i promise i'll work hard along side all of you. ”

the real discomfort doesn't seem to settle in until she takes a step up to the trc building the next day, in anticipation for their first practice together. something about it didn't seem real. while yoojung had always dreamed of walking into a company's building, she never really expected herself doing just that ― especially not trc. not that it really meant anything, but who just thinks they're going to get the opportunity to walk into the building for a tour or something ? certainly not yoojung. she stood there, staring up at the building for far too long, before she finally took a few meek steps inside, smiling kindly over at the receptionist who pointed yoojung the right way. she wasn't the first to arrive in the studio, which made yoojung feel a little bit better, but she wasn't the last ― which meant that maybe they were the crazy ones for arriving so early ?

as she waited, yoojung admired the spacious studio, which was much bigger than her own back at image, and did a little bit of fancy footwork as a way of testing the floors, as well as stretching herself out. while she was unsure if they'd be learning any choreography the first day, yoojung wasn't totally opposed ― not to mention, she'd been dancing for weeks straight, at this point. it would be odd if she didn't dance at least once that day.

once the other members arrive, yoojung replaced her pensive expression with a brighter one as they all reintroduce themselves and get to work deciding on a song. being a group comprised primarily of males ( some of which who weren't really too fond of a cuter or girlier concept ), yoojung and seola are almost forced to comply to doing a boy band song ― although, neither could really complain when they watched block b's stage of 'tell them'. the vote was quick and unanimous, and they were all able to move on to decide on line distribution. somewhere along the line seola was decided on as their leader, being that she was the only one who really wanted the title, and it wasn't like she wasn't willing to listen to the other members if they had something to say. for the most part, everyone in the group was seeming to get along, and by the end of the day they had everything decided on so they could get to work the next day.

that night was probably the only one in which any members of the group went home.

once all members were present, they began work on choreography. yoojung, who had been watching videos and beginning to learn the choreography herself the night before, was able to run through it more with those who hadn't taken the opportunity ― although, most of them caught on pretty quickly. being that their group was comprised of strong dancers, the routine wasn't particularly difficult for any of them to learn, and they were running through it within a few hours of being in the studio. the only sound that rang through the room was the member's heavy footfalls as they ran practices over and over and over again.

as the song came to an end for what seemed like the thousandth time, yoojung was glad that each member seemed as motivated as she felt. that, for the most part, they all had the same work ethic, and were all willing to put as much as they could into each run through. when seola called for break, exclaiming something about making sure to stay hydrated and to eat something, yoojung stumbled over to her bag on tired feet and pulled out her lyric sheet.

the dancing was something yoojung had down, something she wasn't worried about whatsoever because she was yoojung. she'd been a dance instructor for the past year, was previously a part of a dance crew back home for several years, and couldn't remember a time when she wasn't dancing. no, the dance part, yoojung was sure she had down, especially comparing block b's choreography with some of the performances she had done herself. rapping was different.

was she more comfortable rapping ? of course she was. after all, yoojung knew that her voice was no gift to human kind, and that if she were to attempt it would hinder more than help. considering that most of the members of the group were rappers, yoojung hadn't really been expecting much in terms of lines ― after all, wonshik, mingyu, and minho were all so much more talented than she was. however, when they'd decided on lines, the other members had liked her flow. or, maybe, it was just because she would've cried if she'd gone up on stage and sang ― but they gave her lines. sure, she didn't have the most, but she had enough to make her feel like something was clawing at her chest whenever she looked at it. her first day, yoojung had made the mistake of highlighting them in a bright orange highlighter which only made her eyes burn when she looked at the paper anymore. because, as much as yoojung liked to rap, she wasn't really a rapper. did she want to be ? sure.

but wanting to rap didn't make her a rapper.

no matter how hard yoojung practiced her lines, she felt as if she were lacking in comparison ― no matter what the other members of her group told her, yoojung felt as if she were dragging them behind. by the time they were practicing with vocals, the others seemed far more refined than yoojung herself felt. she had no idea how seola and wonshik's voices were so stable while they sang out their parts; wasn't sure how mingyu and minho could spit out their verses as if it were second nature to them; wasn't sure how she was supposed to look that natural on stage.

so, when yoojung wasn't dancing or working with the group, she was off by herself trying not to cry as she stared at her lyric sheet. occasionally, she would disappear from the studio when everyone else was asleep because she was worried about the few lines she had, and didn't want to disturb anyone else while they were trying to rest for at least a few hours before they went right back to practicing. it wasn't even like her parts were terribly difficult ― they were repetitive, after all. she sang the same thing twice, and it only changed once, but it felt stilted. maybe it was her nerves ― or maybe it was that she was going to be compared to mingyu and minho. it made her nervous that it was the only skill she had ― had she not been put into this particular group, she may have gotten unlucky and had to do more than just a few lines here and there. so, even though her lines were few and not terribly hard, yoojung still worried.

she was out of her element, was the problem. or, that was what she kept convincing herself of. because, really, she didn't have anything else to fall back on. while yoojung was a dancer, that wasn't all it took to be an idol ― that wasn't all it took to be a trainee. and while she understood, if she ever got a contract, she would have to train her stills regardless ― she also understood that to even become a trainee, she'd need to exhibit more than one skill.

yoojung isn't sure that she ever worked so hard on the vocals for any song in her life ― mostly because, she really wasn't a vocal performer. or, at least, she hadn't tried to be before. her tongue occasionally got twisted as she rapped, causing her to fumble ― much to her anguish ― but she wasn't willing to let it deter her. once yoojung surpassed the self-pity, she decided to suck it up and walked up to minho and asked him for help. he'd been sympathetic, although yoojung wasn't quite sure that he understood her hesitation and worries ― not that she voiced them all, but that wasn't his fault. but he was willing to help ― and that was all yoojung needed.

it was probably then that she realized she could actually ask for help when needed. being so used to doing things on her own and caring for herself, she was starting to get used to being confused when other people were actually there for her. and maybe yoojung had been particularly lucky to be put with the group she was with, because each member was more than willing to take care of one another. there were too many nights they'd all ended up at some twenty-four hour restaurant together, recalling something that happened in practice and laughing hysterically; or when they'd be taking a minute break before continuing their practice, and they'd all just be normal for a moment. just a moment, before they all had their game-faces back on. but, yoojung had learned to love her fellow members ― they were all laid back in a way, but serious when it came to practicing and performing. yoojung appreciated being put with such like-minded people, and was sure she was caught staring in admiration at each of the members at several points throughout their practices. her eyes practically shined as she stared up at minho after he had begun helping her not stumble over every other word, simply from nerves.

what she had probably learned most from her fellow members was to have a little more confidence in herself. she could fake it on stage, she knew, but when she had rapped the first few times when they'd started, her voice shook. it wasn't like she was that bad ― she was well aware that there were plenty of others who had less skill than her, but that didn't make it any easier for her. but if she just told herself she could do it, if she thought about what minho had told her about her lines, yoojung began to relax just slightly. all she really needed to think was that she wasn't the worst they had ever heard. she knew she would be at least decent ― wouldn't she ?

anxiety didn't settle as they continued working through their performances. yoojung's instructor's eye had been helpful as they began paying more attention to the details of the performance, even adjusting herself to match the rest of the group. while most the small tweaks had been noticed by the other members, yoojung was proud of herself when she felt comfortable enough to call out other things that needed fixed ever so slightly. she was even more proud of herself when she knew they weren't offended by her mentioning the adjustments that needed made.

by tuesday night, the group was running perfectly synchronized rehearsals. yoojung wasn't sure there was anything better than the sound of their feet hitting the floor in perfect tandem on each landing. the domino effect some of the parts had were pleasing to watch ― each member across from the other moving at exactly the right time ― exactly the right way.  yoojung loved the feeling when a routine finally came together. she couldn't help the feeling of satisfaction that bubbled up in her chest as they moved together. they were a far-cry from the dysfunction they'd been only two days ago ― and it made yoojung smile.

smooth rehearsals lead to good relationships among the group, so it came as no surprise that they were all on-board when seola stated their last day, while they would definitely be running rehearsals for most of the day, they'd take a short break to commend themselves on a job well done. regardless of whether or not they won this thing, they worked hard, and they were putting themselves out on the stage with a product they were all proud of ― all five of them could attest to that, yoojung was sure. she had to convince herself that it wasn't selfish that she was mostly immensely proud of herself for the work she'd done herself ― and that she wasn't stammering through her verses anymore.

stage rehearsals brought on an entirely new feeling of anxiety.

seeing all the other groups made everything suddenly real, and yoojung felt her chest tightening again; for the past week, while yoojung was well aware of what they were practicing for, she didn't have to think of it as a competition. it was just friends getting together to learn a performance to a group they loved ― but that wasn't what they were. that wasn't the reason they had barely left the trc building in the week they were allotted to spend there. that wasn't the reason she had worked so hard to not to exactly what she ended up doing when it came to rehearsals ― and that was when yoojung had finally cried for the first time. the members had tried to comfort her, but all yoojung could manage to get out was “ but i've been working so hard … ” before she burst out in tears once more.

with memories of warm tears running down her face, fingers blotting her face as to try and keep at least some of the makeup on her face ( she didn't ), were fresh in her mind as team d was finishing off their performance. yoojung's chest felt heavy as they walked out onto the stage ― she tried calming herself; drawing in a long breath as she'd trained herself to do so many times before; but she wasn't sure it was going to work. especially not as the lights came up on them, suddenly blinding, which silhouetted the audience ― but yoojung could still spot their faces. she wasn't to adjust her ponytail, to  play with the collar of the black, baggy overalls she'd been fitted into ― but she couldn't. no, because then everyone would know how nervous she really would, and anyone who had seen their rehearsal would be convinced she'd make the same mistakes.

she wouldn't though. yoojung swore she wouldn't.

instead, yoojung smiled out at the crowd as seola began counting out for their introduction ― they all shouted in unison: “ yo, do you like to dream ? we are dream.e. ” before introducing themselves one-by-one. yoojung continues smiling as each of the members before her go on to say their names; turning directly to the crowd and bowing deeply as it comes to her ― “ i am resident shortie, choi yoojung, ” she called out, somehow managing to keep her smile on her face ― it was honestly beginning to hurt a bit, but she decided she wasn't going to think much about that. she was going to think about how bad she wanted this. how much she wanted to do well ― how much all the members had put into the performance. too much. yoojung decided as they each took their places on stage ― yoojung was centre stage; she started off their song, and it looked more natural anyway. seola was the only one near her height, and even then she was still around ten centimeters taller than yoojung. they've put too much into this performance for you to screw it up for them, yoojung … she pursed her lips, hands light on either side of her; not limp, but not board-straight. her  head was bowed slightly as she closed her eyes, taking in long, deep breaths. you can do this, yoojung-ah …

the now all-too familiar music started, and yoojung began counting. three four-counts, and then she turned ― one, two, three four ― how many times had she performed this song already, and she was still nervous ? ― two, two, three, four ― she could do this; she knew she could do this. they had all worked so hard ― three, two, three ―

on four, the group turned in perfect sync; yoojung raised her head as she turned, a smile painting itself easily on her face as she brought her microphone up to her mouth;

boys and girls, it's the d.e.

the words came out smoothly; her voice somehow not shaking despite the fact that yoojung was sure her stomach was churning ― but she wasn't paying attention to the crowd right now. no, her focus was on the camera, and if she thought hard enough about it, she knew she could imagine she was only performing in front of a camera. that made things easier. it was just a camera ― even if thousands of people were watching through it.

don't fool yourself. i got your back you must,

yoojung's movements, no matter how practiced, still looked so easy. although the movements were sharper than most of her typical routines, it was intended ― even as she switched spots with mingyu as he began his verse, the switch in formation, although not in the original version of the song, was fluid and went largely unnoticed. mingyu moved into her spot, while yoojung moved back and to the side, occupying where mingyu had previously stood. she keeps a smile on her face as she dances, moves basically second-nature. where her eyes had been heavy and still slightly stinging from rehearsal earlier, yoojung now felt as light and bouncy as the song was intended to be ― it was going well so far. the practice payed off, yoojung could tell ― just from how they always knew where they were going, didn't need to look to make sure everyone else was in their right space. each member trusted the next that they were where they were supposed to be, that they were going where they were meant to be. the teamwork within was clear to anyone who looked at them.

the familiar lines minho rapped out, his verses smooth and silky as he played to the camera, started and yoojung felt her stomach flip, recognizing her own part coming up next. where the original vice had been deeper, yoojung had chosen to make it more expressive, being that she couldn't exactly rap out the words how the original artist had. while her voice was just as bouncy as the original, it took a new approach to the lines ― but it fit. she jumped into her spot, wearing a slightly more intense expression ―

모여 모여 여기로 모여

she winked at the camera, as she had so many times in practices; a smile came across her face once more.

돌려 돌려 머리를 돌려

and then, it was into the chorus. yoojung moved her body along with the music, each minute movement met with the same energy it took for the larger spins ― but she showed no signs of wear as the performance moved on. looking as bright as she had upon walking up on stage, yoojung shrugged her shoulders in perfect sync with the other members as they leaned back, shrugging their shoulders ― each smiling cheekily as seola sang. her voice had always been pleasing ― yoojung even once asked the elder to sing her to sleep one night, which she hadn't listened to but maybe another time ― and it was even more so over the sound system, blasting out alongside the rest of the music. it only made yoojung want to smile brighter as their open palms beat their chests, legs in second position, before they quickly moved them to stand directly beneath them, arm descending with two fingers pointed out to the side; yoojung's eyes followed her fingers until she dropped her arm to her side and moved into their line.

mingyu's verse came and went quickly before yoojung jumped out of nowhere once again to repeat her lines ― the same energy within them as there had been before.

모여 모여 여기로 모여

one of the members behind her shouted out let's rock !, adlibs having been practiced even when they were still at trc ― yoojung takes a step toward the camera, scrunching up her nose and placing her hands on her hips cutely before jumping around once again, playing into the camera.

돌려 돌려 머리를 돌려

she allows minho to jump in front of her as he goes on with his own verse, each other member doing a call-and-respond-esque part before yoojung counts them down back into their chorus quickly; she squeaks out the out before moving back into her place and wonshik starts again. yoojung barely realizes that the place where she always slips up ― the place where her tongue always seems to get in the way and screws everything up ― is almost there until minho's rapping out his verse just before her own. time seems to slow through minho's lines as they grow closer to yoojung's own part ― and she fears for a second that her face is going to go bank. somehow, however, she manages to keep the smile on her face as she moves centre-stage once again, straightening up and placing a hand on her hip as her microphone's lifted to her lips.

her heart was pounding.

눈 깜짝핼새 하루가���게 전부 하나돼 놀다가 밤새

the lines are short and sweet ― the flow was smooth, and her body language played into the camera as she rapped ― but she couldn't help how her smile seemed to grow brighter as she moved through it. after all, this time, the words came easily to yoojung, and the lines were clean. she didn't even accidentally fuse any words together ― no, they were perfect. as each word came, yoojung was able to relax into her position; she moved freely to the music of her own part and rapped as if she'd been doing it all her life.

who could blame her for being happy for herself ?

go ! go ! go ! go 'head a rock 'em !

the smile stayed on her face as they moved through the familiar movements the chorus brought once more; yoojung couldn't help it as they came to their final positions. each member of dream.e was breathing heavily; they stared out into the cheering crowd and relished in it for just a moment ― because what else could they do ? what else could they do other than reap the fruits of all their labor ?

this is why … yoojung thought to herself, smiling out into the crowd. yoojung had never really experienced the thrill that came at the end of a stage ― she had never really reveled in the praise the audience was giving them. her chest swelled at the feeling, something so completely unfamiliar, but something she wanted so desperately. something that she craved, and something she knew she would once again crave once she left the stage.

this can't be the last time … it won't be. because this is why …

her eyes scanned the faces she could see, and she tried to commit them to memory ― but is soon shooed off the stage by one of the other members of her group. she bows out into the audience before dream.e is ushered to completely leave the stage.

this is why i'm here. this is why i'm doing this.

and yoojung swore, no matter what, she would push herself to her limits just to feel that again.

[danielxrk]

kdaniel98 •

are you ready for the next episode of the mgas? we have a very special performance prepared for you today, so make sure to stay tuned until the end to watch us, team h ^^ i’m excited!!

special thanks to our fearless leader yongsun noona, for making sure we all sing well and helping us in every area we could ever need. thank you to minho-yah, for helping me with the arrangement you’ll see and being able to play the drums to make my dream come true ㅋㅋ and rosie and seola noonas, for helping me with my dancing, being guitar superstars, and encouraging me this week even though i’m still lacking. i love you, team girl crush~~

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[rkhosung]

episode 5: mashups team b: STYX ( @rkdoyexn, @rkxmnho, @haknyeonrk, @rkjei ) outfit: x (but dark wine red instead of white) song: hate monster by 4minute x exo + line distribution

Being in one of the bottom teams honestly sucked. Bin was horribly saddened to see little Mark leave them, feeling as if he was somehow at fault for dragging them down. Was his dancing still subpar? Maybe his vocals had been lacking this time around, either way that night was spent punching himself mentally though at that moment he had to swallow the shock and move on into the new teams for that week.

He was relieved to see he was still with Doyeon and after a few moments he knew he'd have great fun with Minho and Haknyeon. Seeing Jei though made his ice run cold for a moment but he shoved that thought to the side. Maybe she wasn't as scary as his mind had made her out to be. Either way he'd be stuck with her until the next performance so he'd have to stick to her good side unless he wanted to be gutted like a fish by her infamous glare.

The theme of the week was something that Bin found really cool though his creativity was zero and couldn't help his team very much in actually putting a song together or helping with the choreography. All he really was good for was making the boys crack up at inopportune times and throw in quips as they were settling on the groundworks of their performance. True, he could be credited with some of the team naming process, but he would have never thought of it if not for Jei's offhand comment. Even if he was a child at heart and set Minho and Hak off on one of his weird ass ideas (like barking after they'd tossed around the idea of being Team Cerberus), he still poured his energy and time into perfecting his skills.

This time the choreography was different, more story-like, to tell the tale of love that once was pure turned bad and toxic. It was weird to have to face off against Doyeon as they practiced and near impossible to keep a straight face as he tried to channel his dark domineering side to fuel the act. But as time wore on they got better, expressing the lyrics through their movement and expressions. Of course he still needed extra coaching to really drive home the choreography which, once again, meant he and Doyeon could spend some extra time together even if not in a romantic capacity. It was the least he could do after she'd spend her time suggesting improvements to his performance.

A few of the lines that Doyeon was assigned he knew she found a bit high, but he also knew that she was fully capable of hitting those notes. All she needed was a dose of confidence and maybe a helping hand that he was all too ready to give since he was feeling rather useless in comparion to both her and Jei. Their time in the small cramped practice room was oddly nice, just them and the keyboard as they ran over their lines a few times until Doyeon felt more comfortable. He wanted to reach out and pull her into a comforting hug but Mnet would have a field day so he could only smile softly at her and hoped she understood just how proud he was of her.

Friday rolled around sooner than expected—like it did every week—and once more Bin found a ball of nervousness running rampant in his stomach. Had he always been like this or was just because the stakes were so damn high? He'd made it to episode five, no small feat, so even if he was booted off the show Bin would exit with a bow and a gracious smile, supporting those who would be left.

This performance, he hoped, would showcase a different side to him and prove that he was just sunshine and rainbows, that he could perform darker themes and convey them well. "As above, so below. Hello, we are Styx." It was a different greeting, not bright but still full of charisma as his lips wore a small smirk as they introduced each member individually. "I embody Dionysus, god of wine, revelry, and theatre, here to make sure you have the time of your lives." Bin gave the audience a wink and was pleased to see at least a handful of girls giggle into their signs that they'd brought in.

Jei started off the song, sitting on the floor of the stage with Doyeon's head resting in her lap. On cue Bin followed up with his lines, moving in as if to snatch Doyeon away from her protector. His voice flowed with hers as they danced, hands almost touching as they led up to the chorus where they broke into the original choreography before slipping back into the story. Despite the new way of dancing, Bin's singing was stable and he was able to follow every move that they'd laid out without missing a beat, keeping his face dark with flashes of desperation as he saw his lover snatched out of his grasp time and time again.

Bin hit his high note, feeling the energy course through his body as he continued dancing, almost forgetting that the audience was there. As a team they brought the song to a close, his last lines half spoken half sung as he once more closed in on Doyeon who writhed with every word until the song faded into silence. After the ending he offered her a hand pulled her to her feet letting her exit the stage before him, his nerves positively singing from the performance high.

"Hey, gods and goddesses, a very well done. I think we were simply—wait for it—divine~!"

If this was the performance that got him cut then so be it: he was proud of what he had accomplished.

[memoirsofrkxjiyeon]

➥ 민희 💕 (@juminhee): 02-07-18

First thing, please remember to wear sunscreen to protect your skin.

It’s really hot outside so be careful! 😖🔆

On the topic of hot things, did you see mgas first episode?

Such beautiful, handsome probably talented people! 

Shout out to few of lovely babies~ ♥

#4002  - Jaewhanie! You got this! Win everyone hearts ok?! o/

#4003  - Junmyeon! Hwaiting! If you good at putting make-up on girls, you got this heh.

#4007  - Dongsaeng! You know I always believe in you, show them what you can do!

#4008  - Ash Ash Baby! Looks like I gotta get my fansign out again, you go girl! ^-^

#4010  - Lil Cousin! Why haven’t spoken in while?! I kid, good luck with the show!!

#4011 - Jei Jei! Who’s best ?! You are! Knock them dead !! 

#4012 - Sweet sweet Solar! It was such a delight to work with you, good luck !! 

#4024 - Soojin! i’m so proud you made it onto the show! Hwaiting donsaeng!!

#4026 - You are chubby bunny champion so let see if you can be mga champ!

#4030 - My favourite lil artist! I hope you can follow your dreams! 

#4033 - My lil libarian! I remember when I heard your voice for first time, I always be in love with such angelic vocals. Its time for you to shine! 

#4040  - Chungha! You go girl, dance little socks off keke~

#4043 - Yah, you just be you and try not cause too much trouble, good luck!

#4047 - Gym buddy! You pretty work your butt off alright?! 

#4052 - Irene!! My coffee buddy, pray you are successful in this endevour! 

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[haknyeonrk]

⋆｡°✩ mga season four. ep v. mashup. ‹ #4010 ›    ⇢ performance: hate monster –– 4minute x exo // line distribution        TEAM STYX ( #4004 #4011 #4032 #4043 )

the last episode had been tough. he had to watch jeongguk, his leader, get eliminated and to top it off, he had to watch juyeon leave as well. it felt terrible, like something had been hurled towards him at lightning speed and haknyeon wasn’t able to take it all in stride despite his attempts at trying to act like everything was okay (it wasn’t). 

and he can’t help thinking that it was all his fault –– it had to be his fault. if he’d pushed himself harder, if he’d done more maybe at least, something would’ve changed. his heart is heavy when they’re announced new teams and he looks visibly down. he’d usually be all smiles, ready to get along with the rest of the team but his eyes are downcast and there’s this odd feeling in his chest.

the walk to the kt building feels heavy, he feels odd but he knows he shouldn’t feel too sad about it for long –– or at the very least that he needs to get over it. it just felt awful, watching your own teammate get eliminated. and then watching one of your closest friends getting sent home too. it didn’t sit well with haknyeon.

he takes a deep breath, closes his eyes for a second, before he walks into the building.

at the very least he’s not surrounded by unfamiliar faces. he’s been in the same team with doyeon before so he knows her pretty well –– the others though, he finds himself having to get to know. he feels a little worn out emotionally but he needs to pull through, after all it’s a competition and haknyeon... haknyeon needs to win. 

there’s minho, jei and moonbin on his team and while he’s not too familiar with all of them just yet, thankfully he’s around the same age as the two boys and they get along well fairly quickly. in the three boys, haknyeon finds himself washing away the saddest he’d been holding in.

it actually starts when they’re trying to figure out a team name and someone brings up ceberus. now, haknyeon wasn’t exactly book smart enough to know what it meant but when someone else explains he lets out a soft ‘oh’. somehow though, this ends up with him and three other boys letting out soft ‘woofs’ and haknyeon breaks out into a bright smile, turning to minho and gently tapping his shoulder. 

this ends up with them letting out woofs at random times but haknyeon though, decides to let out... a nyan instead (and he doesn’t miss the look jei gives either him or the two other boys whenever they make animal sounds. he finds it kind of endearing). and like that, he tries to forget about the heaviness in his chest; able to bond quickly with the two other boys as well.

soon after though, they decide to go with a better, less comical name. styx. it’s a nice name and while haknyeon still doesn’t know much about myths or gods or anything like that, he enjoys the concept about it and learning more about them. the name suits their concept as well. 

they’ve chosen a mashup of hate and monster. something a little darker than haknyeon’s used to but he’s more than ready to try and show a different side of him on the stage. 

throughout his time on the show, haknyeon’s only ever actually done more... upbeat concepts. the boys was chic whilst my flower was more bright. this though, this would be very different. he’s thankful that minho’s knowledgeable enough with mashups to create one for the team and he lets his thankfulness show when he gives minho a high five and thumbs up.

the three boys get along fairly well –– he has no qualms with any other of his teammates (they’re all great people and he’s glad they’re on the same team as him) but maybe it’s because they’re boys of similar age that haknyeon finds himself more comfortable around both minho and moonbin. 

he stands in front of the camera with minho and during their short break, plays around with him. “hyung, hyung!” he laughs brightly, shaking his body to no music in particular, before minho joins him and they’re both simply laughing and dancing in front of the camera. they continue making funny faces in front of the camera and haknyeon can’t stop smiling while he’s fooling around briefly with minho. “alright!” he says after they’re done fooling around, “we should get back to practice! fighting, fighting!”

and when they practice, haknyeon doesn’t really stop.

while his team is great, there’s still this fear bubbling from within him. the fear of last week, of not being placed in a safe rank. of watching people leave him. he needs to do well –– for everyone (for himself). the choreography comes together, and thankfully, most of them are well acquainted with dance and it has haknyeon hyped up with the idea of doing something darker.

it’s a new genre and haknyeon needs to show a different side of him. he’s no dummy, and while he’s not exactly book smart, he’s aware of the comments that are made about him –– comments saying that he’s been using his sister, that connections were what got him so far (that they were what got him attention). 

and it hurts. it feels dumb, but haknyeon wants to be known as his own person, not just his sister’s little brother. so it pushes him harder and harder and harder until he finds himself in the same position that he was in last week.

(tw: blood)

a sudden feeling, a sudden rush of sorts, and the wet feeling in his nostril. ah, he thinks, it happened again. he puts a hand below his nostril and he sees red. another nosebleed. great. quickly looking up at the mirror to confirm it, haknyeon places a hand over his nose and tries to rush to the toilet.

though he catches the attention of jei. “noona,” he says when he sees jei standing nearby. “sorry, i have to go to the bathroom for a bit. i’ll be right back, promise.” he doesn’t want to be a burden to anybody, doesn’t like wasting time like this. but jei helps him before he can go to the bathroom, gently placing a towel below his nose.

“again? ... is this normal for you? it happened last week too.”

“no...” he admits. “this… doesn’t usually happen often. i think i’m just a little tired and forgot to drink more water,” it’s the truth; lately he’s had this tendency to forget to do a lot of things, too focused on trying to get choreography right, on trying to sound good on stage –– to have a good stage.

he’s got a lot bottled up inside of him, probably, a lot more than he lets show but he’s always preferred to keep things to himself. “i’m sorry noona,” he apologizes,. “i’m probably just wasting your time now. we should get back to practicing… we need to put on a good show! i’ll quickly go get some tissue from the bathroom!” he attempts to laugh it off, but the red from the towel is a contrast to his words.

“that’s not something you just forget,” the look jei gives him, is enough for him to know that he isn’t getting out of this easily; and so he doesn’t say anything back when she tells him to quickly go to the bathroom and then to come back and talk to her.

he comes back from the bathroom with tissue stuffed up one of his nostrils and the feeling of guilt. “thanks for helping me noona,” he says. “i’m really sorry. i just… need to do well… and prove something.” 

jei, for some reason, reminds haknyeon of his own sister back home. so with just a look and a few words from her, haknyeon speaks on a little more. “i know i shouldn’t let it get to me but... people have been saying things, about how i’m only here because of my sister, that i’m using her fame... and stuff like that... i want to prove something to them. and prove something to myself. that i’m here because i’m me. i need to do well, so they can realize that i’m my own person with my own dreams... i need to do well. i’ll take better care of myself, i promise.”

(tw: blood end)

and he feels a little closer to jei after that, despite her giving him a look (the kind of look that really did remind him of his older sister back home). haknyeon somehow finds himself finally getting some rest along with the two other boys, the three of them cuddled up in a corner, lying down and sleeping. it’s moments later that he feels something warm on top of him and he cracks an eye open to see jei placing a blanket over them (and then to hear moonbin letting out a woof).

the day of the performance comes and haknyeon’s dressed a lot more darkly than he’d been in previous performances. he takes in the crowd and a smile forms on his face, he remembers his name being mentioned in the previous episode, a girl claiming that she was a fan of his. a fan. he wonders briefly how many he has there in the crowd.

“as above, so below! hello we are team styx!” they say in unison before they bow. “here to bring the team luck! i’m styx’s lucky boy, haknyeon!” he winks to the camera and he can’t help the way his face gets a little red out of embarrassment after his introduction.

they get into position after the introductions and haknyeon’s gaze immediately changes. he’s no longer the bright kid he’d been just seconds ago whilst introducing himself, he was a villain now. a tormentor of sorts.

the stage is completely back save for a spotlight on the girls, and jei begins to sing. then moonbin begins to sing and haknyeon dances to the choreography they’ve had made. 

it’s a dark storyline after all, and he makes sure his facial expression matches the genre of their performance. a song about toxic love –– haknyeon delves deep into himself to bring out his role in the performance.

as the song builds up, so does the choreography and haknyeon dances, eyes intense whenever he meets the camera as he dances. the chorus comes to an end and it’s haknyeon’s turn to rap.

during the previous performance, he’d been able to showcase his abilities and he’s a lot more confident now with his rap, ready to show the audience and judges that he can do a lot more. 

dabi eomneun dabane damman jugeorago sseo sarange kongkkakjiga anin saegangyeongeul kkyeo ireon sigeuro hal baen geunyang heeojineun ge naasseo neol mannaseo oeropdamyeon honja oeropgo malgesseo ( i write answers to the questions which haven’t got answers i now get to have doubt instead of crush rather than being like this we’d better break up if i get lonely with you, i get lonely alone )

the lyrics are dark and haknyeon shows a different side of him as he raps. lifting a brow at the words with a sinister smirk plastered across his face. he dances, intense before it’s his turn once more.

sirheo sirheo nan neo sirheo sirheo sirheo nan neo sirheo ( hate hate, i hate you, hate  hate hate, i hate you, hate )

he lifts his hands up and points to the front as he raps, gaze intense. at the last line, he makes a gun gesture and ‘shoots’.

the dancing and storyline continues as the other’s sing their lines and haknyeon gets ready for his joint rap duo moment with minho after moonbin sings his high note. he’s glad that he gets along well with minho, somewhat confident that the both of them would be able to pull off a good performance.

modu nal duryeoweohae so I’m untouchable man geunde ne jinshimeun wae gyeolguge nal geobu motae ( everyone’s afraid of me, so i’m untouchable man but in the end, you can’t reject me )

he starts off the rapping, furiously running a hand through his hair as he does so, dark smile on his face. the next lines go to minho and haknyeon backs him up. “who?” he says in the background, followed by “how we do!”

nal geudaero badadeuryeo ( accept me for who i am )

haknyeon raps again and then minho’s line comes in, the both of them in sync with each other.

niga gyeondil manhan gotongeul nuryeo deo gipi ppajeodeureo ( enjoy the pain that you’re able to endure fall deeper inside )

the lyrics are dark, tormenting even, and it suits the character that he’s playing right now –– the storyline that their team has decided to go with.

domanggaji ma neon yeongweonhi maemdora brah ( don’t run away, you’ll forever linger near )

and with that the chorus of monster plays and they dance, following their own choreography. haknyeon’s quite into the role of the tormentor he has and truth be told, he’s glad that he was able to rap as a duo with minho.

“i don’t need you, hate, no no,” he raps to blend into the mashup. “sirheo sirheo nan neo sirheo, sirheo sirheo nan neo sirheo, sirheo, sirheo nan neo sirheo” he continues, still dancing as he raps. 

the song comes to an end and haknyeon exits through the side as it focuses back on the couple and jei. he watches as the stage ends, satisfied.

when they get backstage haknyeon can’t help the satisfied smile that makes it’s way across his face. “we’ve all worked hard!” he says, “thank you for that performance.”

[rkgray]

90 posts      4452 followers        100 following 8731 likes   2d ago  

GRAYster This MGAs will be burning with passion and talent! 🔥🔥 Please go and support the best female rapper @hyunark #4008,  sweet voice @rkyngsun #4012, badass girl @rksomi #4018, underrated underdog @rksxngyeol #4030, one of my brothers from another mother @rkxmnho #4043 and talented dongsaeng @danielxrk #4050 at MGAs4.  

[rkkangjoon]

16 posts      16.9k followers      300 following ♡ 15.9K       4d ago SKjun Are you going to watch the MGAs? Gonna cheer for everyone to live up to their dream, while reminiscing about the last season. Please root especially for Kim Hyuna #4008, Lee Jooheon #4022, Lee Luda #4033, Choi Minho #4043 and Koo Junhoe #4044! #mgas4 #instaboy #flowerboy

[rkyooa]

curious.

after sending her last text, it only took her about 10 minutes to get home, making her way inside and dropping her bag by the love seat in the main living room. she went to the kitchen, grabbing herself a bottle of water from the fridge and a small bowl of cherries (they were in season after all) before moving back into the living room and plopping herself on the couch as she waited for him to arrive. 

she was still in her practice clothes, her hair tied back, face clean of make-up but in need of some washing and care. it could wait for the time being, though. there were about a million possibilities with where this conversation could go, one of them including more sweating, so she wasn’t about to jinx herself and go wash up just to ensure that that would happen. of course, sitting there and thinking about if that was truly a possibility was a little torturous for herself. 

she was confused, too confused, when it came to minho. they had their past, which was complicated to say the least, full of ups and downs, including both hate and love - even though they had never said it. it was understood, or at least she thought it was. even now she doubted if it had been mutual. they had fought their war and found victory, but when the dust settled, he left. she wondered if he had just hated her the whole time and did it all to mess with her, teach her a lesson or something, but why would he come back and insert himself into her life again? and at such a big scale? was it to come back for more games? did he actually care? was he sorry? she couldn’t tell at all, and after their last encounter that involved an adult kind of sleepover, she needed answers. 

and she’d get them, he would be here any minute...

@rkxmnho

[rkjei]

   WELCOME TO THE MGAS   //   episode six        . .        #4011  -  김진희.*  KIM JINHEE.     ━━━━━━       .   .   .        HOLA HOLA , KARD                                       TEAM VISTA.

a week had passed, and it seems as if jei actually hadn’t improved at all.  she finds herself in the bottom, in the same place - fifth - even though she’s been paired with an entirely new team and an entirely new concept.  so maybe there’s just a curse placed on kim jinhee, to always make fifth place.  this time, jei has to watch minho leave her side and it hurts just as badly.  both times, in both groups, the youngest has always had to leave.

it sucks that it doesn’t even have to do with talent anymore, but rather - preference.  they prefer their stage to be stronger, they prefer their mashup in more of a composition challenge rather than this one.  they feel like their performance was good, but others were better.  all well and good, until there’s actual thought put into the result of it and the realization dawns.  it actually had nothing to do with their skills, in all actuality - absolutely nothing, and that’s what made it harder for jei to accept.  it made it harder for her to improve, because there wasn’t really any critique given at all besides vague feelings and personal opinions about what they would have liked to see as if the contestants could read their minds.

still, jei grits her teeth and bears it.  that’s really all that she can do for the remainder of the competition, for as long as she’s on it.  not that she expects to remain much longer, though - after all, she’s been stuck in the bottom rung in the same spot for two weeks in a row.  eventually, the ceos will see that.  eventually, they’ll have something to say.

but maybe, just maybe, this week will go better.  maybe this week, with any hope left in her, jei won’t have to see anyone go home, and maybe this week she won’t have to wish that it was her leaving instead of anyone else.

THIS WEEK turns out to be a blessing in disguise.  that’s what jei thinks of it at least, when she sees hyuna’s number matched with hers - regardless of the way they’re fighting right now, regardless of the anger in her heart, the other girl is still her best friend.  eventually, the seeds of wrath will disappear and they’ll be left stronger than before - and maybe this week will really be the catalyst for that.  that’s what jei is hoping for, because she’s getting really tired of disappointments when it comes to this show.

the first time they all meet up isn’t so bad.  she doesn’t have a preconceived notion of frustration at the formation of the group, but rather at the mgas as a whole, so there’s less judgment.  it makes for easier settling in, really - especially when daniel tells her that sungwoon has told him a lot of good things about her.  she hadn’t known they knew each other enough or were even friends, but she also very bluntly replied that sungwoon probably just thinks she’s a good leader more than anything else.  he seems to think otherwise, for some unknown reason to her, but jei lets it go instead to allow for more group work.

group work like picking out the name for their team, and their song, and deciding on choreography - and teaching choreography.  personally, jei knows that this challenge is going to be the most difficult one for her yet.  smiling naturally hasn’t been something that comes easy to her for a long time but, this time she’s determined to improve.  maybe with a smile, jei will turn around the opinions against her, who knows.  she doesn’t want to be in the bottom rung, hanging on just because of opinions rather than the talent - or lack thereof - that should be the reason for elimination.  but regardless of that, they still need to pick something that fits the summer theme before jei even considers practicing her expression.

daniel, as much as jei rolls her eyes, turns out to have sungwoon’s humour - his idea for their team name is captain summerica, simply because it’s somehow been revealed that all of them could speak fluent english after realizing, or in some cases remembering, that guanlin’s korean was fairly basic.  but when she and rose tell him absolutely not, all he does is pout and mumble something about the no -fun noonas which of course will probably turn into a running gag for the rest of the week if jei’s luck has anything to do with it.

which it does, but that’s another story for later.

eventually sungyeol suggests vista as a team name, which everyone seems to like - especially since the meaning of it correlates to their visuals, and to their charisma.  though there were a lot of song options to sift through, they eventually settled on kard’s hola hola because it suited both the group dynamic as well as their skillset.  not to mention, it was just a fun song with a nice vibe in general.  as daniel and guanlin are the only members of their team who hadn’t been leaders before, and guanlin was clearly begging with his eyes not to be, daniel stepped up to the plate and most of the easier parts of the week were set.

it also makes it easier that there’s another person well versed in dancing on their team amongst the ones who .. try their best.  they decide that rose and jei will each take two members under their wing and teach them under a more one on one basis, to make sure that the dancing is on point before coming back together and pulling it off to dance as a team.  

maybe this week, she thinks, is finally a blessing after all.

jei gets a little nervous, though, A DAY OR TWO LATER when they decide to try doing splits as a group activity.  not that she has a problem doing them; she’s actually quite flexible - it’s just that if people don’t know what they’re doing, they could really pull a muscle or worse.  which, all in all, would really put a damper on their performance overall on friday - but she doesn’t say anything about it, just presses her lips into a thin line and watches everyone begin to stretch.

this is a really bad idea, but jei still stretches with them.  after all, she’s part of this team, regardless of whether or not they have silly notions of team spirit.  why couldn’t they just play games or something like team dynamiq did? jei sighs quietly to herself, watching rose perfectly fall into her split - which wasn’t unexpected, considering flexibility seems to be what she’s best at given past performances.  she hears her explaining it as something that she’s learned to do with her past ballet experience, which makes sense.  

the others, of course, have varying levels of success.  hyuna can’t even try considering her cast, but watching daniel and guanlin attempt is almost humorous.  she probably would have laughed, if jei was the type to laugh often.  the only time in recent memory is when sungwoon was around, but that was because she was laughing at his stupid comedy, mostly.  more than likely.  that’s a thought she hasn’t allowed herself to think, and instead she turns her eyes to the remaining member of her group besides herself.  sungyeol manages to surprise her - apparently he, too, can do a full split without much of a hassle.  it’s interesting, to learn new things about her teammates, though jei doesn’t speak it aloud.

instead, she too just does a split and rolls her eyes when the others start to clap.  but jei finds that fitting in - kind of - is really just as easy as that.

so it turns out that THE PAST WEEK is a lot better than previous ones, even if only by a small margin.  she still cares about all her previous teams, still loves them in their own ways but this one gave her hyuna, and that’s more than she could ask for from it.  maybe that’s what made this week so easy - because hyuna was there, even if in the beginning things were a little awkward between the two.  at least they managed to make up, at least their feelings were laid on the table and they became better for it.  it honestly took a lot of stress off her shoulders.

beyond that, even if there was that strange moment practicing her expressions in the mirror that she still to this day doesn’t understand what really happened - for the most part, everything seems to have gone well.  as for the rest of the group, together, they had a lot of .. fun, strangely enough, even if she’s still sure that daniel is a bit terrified of her no matter how close lipped he is about it.  it’s just the look in his eyes or how he snaps to attention whenever she speaks.  but between dancing just because they could, or doing the in my feelings challenge together, or even practicing their splits, they’ve all managed to get a little closer.  it’s all coming to a close though, now that friday has rolled around and they’re all grouped together for their performance.

they’re going to be third this time, so jei thinks she has a moment to breathe before she’s thrown onstage with the others to give her best shot at a pony show.

for now though, her mind wanders, zones out when the first group goes onstage.  as the time passes, jei barely even recognizes the second one getting up to prepare.  then they take the stage as well - somehow, she’s forgotten how quickly time moves, and how quickly this show really moves.  before she knows it, they’re getting up to prepare and stand backstage as a group, and everything that has led up to this moment is about to shine in bright lights and song.

when the second group shuffles off the stage, she hears a familiar voice saying good luck unnies, and jei turns her head to see doyeon smiling at them.  her hand reaches out and brushes along the skin of her arm as she passes as a thank you, and then it’s their turn to shine.

“ hola hola, we’re team vista!” jei smiles with the rest of her group and waves both of her hands towards the audience.  all that she can think of in this moment after practicing her smiles without mirrors is that it’s best to think of things that make her happy.  like hyun does, or when wrinkles hops into her lap.  or like making friends with sungwoon, and making up with hyuna this week.  it’s easier to smile a little more naturally when she thinks of things like this.  by the time it’s her turn for her personal introduction, jei’s ready.  “ i’m the twinkle in the twilight that makes you look twice, #4011 kim jinhee!”

by the time they take their positions for the choreography, jei is ready with happy thoughts to run through her head.  her body knows the movement after practicing the song so many times throughout the week, and considering she has less lines than weeks before if only because this song is built for four people rather than six, it’s still easier to allow more happy thoughts to fill her head.

they’ve decided the grouping to be hyuna with guanlin, rose with daniel, and finally, jei with sungyeol.  the choreography is kept much the same as the song after everyone decided it fit both their ability as a team and the song really well, and they didn’t want to change it too much - ... besides a few added quirks that both the audience and the judges would hopefully enjoy.

besides the fact that daniel and sungyeol had decided to switch their parts towards the end of the song in the middle of the week, so far things seem to be going well and hopefully nothing goes wrong by the end of it.  but the first quirk of their choreography comes towards the beginning - when hyuna begins her part.  they edited the dance just a little, for hyuna and jei to meet towards the center of the stage at the beginning of her part just for a little fanservice as hyuna begins her rap with, can i get your attention baby girl.  they’re close, and jei’s smiling as she brushes her fingers down hyuna’s cheek with a little bit of amusement dancing in her eyes.  they’re best friends, and it’s been shown throughout the week that this is the case - but jei knows enough about the idol world to realize that fanservice makes up a lot of it.

even though the part was short and they go back to the original choreography afterwards, it was still fun while it lasted.  her first singing part doesn’t come until towards the second half of the chorus, and by then, jei is ready with her happy thoughts and her smile.

i wish time would stop like this i keep thinking can you feel me burning up

and this is the point where the pairs come in.  between the choreography, and the splitting of the lines, it’s clear that they’re meant to be paired off.  the only difference here is, hyuna and guanlin do something a little more family based; guanlin as a little brother and hyuna as a big sister simulating having fun somewhere together.  jei’s a different story though, since sungyeol is meant to be something like a romantic partner.  she can feel him behind her as her body snaps and she sings their next line together.

it’s getting hot all night long

the next quirk in their choreography doesn’t come until rose’s part, where instead of the half split shown in the original, she goes down into a full split all while rapping.  it’s surely meant to bring the attention on her, and jei really hopes that it does.  after all, rose is beautiful.  she deserves a little bit of spotlight besides the negative energy she got from revealing whose daughter she was.

everything seems to be going smoothly, especially after guanlin shone in his lines.  they decided to give him a more difficult part in general just to disprove the netizens claims that he doesn’t really deserve to be here, and that he’s just skating by on the success of his team.  becauseof it, jei’s heart is swelling just a little.  maybe it’s an effect of the song and the performance on her, or maybe she’s just really happy in general basking in the lights.  regardless, she’s back to her part in the chorus again with a half smirk, half smile on her lips.

i wish time would stop like this i keep thinking can you feel me burning up

to be fair, her lines aren’t all that diverse but again - they had stronger rappers than singers this round, and it was only right to be able to highlight them.  she still does well with what she’s given, especially towards her part in the end which she pronounces with perfect english.

the night is right throw your l’up to the sky

then comes the switching of the parts that sungyeol and daniel did - mostly because of the higher register, but it seems to come off well.  by the time hyuna and guanlin finish the song together and they’re in their finishing pose, jei is still smiling.  when it’s time for them to say goodbye to the stage, she rushes over to hyuna and throws an arm around her shoulders, waving with her other arm.

“ hasta la vista, baby!” she calls out with the rest of their team - a little outro that they all decided on after their team name and on considering hola hola as a song.  this might be goodbye, but jei hopes ( for the first time ) that it won’t be for forever.

[junerk]

why am i here!?!?

that’s the question that kept running through his mind as he stood there in that dance studio, looking around at all of these dancers. junmyeon wasn’t a dancer!! he didn’t belong here! he was going to stumble over his own two feet. if they needed the sprinkler or the shopping cart then he was their man, but anything more than that and he was a lost cause. 

he was usually a docile person, but he couldn’t help glaring daggers into the back of his friend minho’s head, since he was the one who had dragged him here. minho was a dancer, cool, he was in his element and he looked great doing all his fancy dance moves, but junmyeon? this was one of the few times he’d embrace his pretty face and stand there to look good. you stand in front of me and dance, whenever you duck i’ll lean forward and make a sexy face, deal? deal. there was no way he could keep up, the only thing he do were the expressions to match the tone of the song and choreography.

he tried though, lord did he try, but he could feel the glares of the instructor and the assistant. along with the other dancers in the workshop, because he looked like a chicken with its head cut off trying to keep up with this dance. he caught some friendly stares from some of the girls in the class, which of course was expected, but mostly it was disapproving glances. he really couldn’t wait for it to be over, despite it not being cheap. 

“never again, minho. never again.”

[rkmg]

〈★〉MGAS SEASON 4 - EPISODE THREE - TEAM PERFORMANCE                ↳ team e aka dream.e ( #4007, #4025, #4043, #4047, #4049 )                     ↳ 2011 song: tell them by block b - click for line distribution

Getting to this point was definitely not a walk in the park. Truthfully, he was somewhat surprised that he was still here and able to participate in the next round. But, at the same time, he’s been attempting to be much more positive lately, so he also never really envisioned himself being eliminated, either. That didn’t stop his heart from beating a million miles per hour when names were being called, though. He still held his breath each time, hoping and praying that he wouldn’t hear one (or both) of the names that he needed to remain on the show.

This was their shot, after all. When would they get another opportunity like this? No one could ever be sure... and while he has enjoyed his life recently, he still looked forward to moving on. He was ready to make the next step towards achieving his dreams, especially given that he’d finished school. He wasn’t working, wasn’t currently continuing his education... he really, really wanted this. So... he was going to get it.... somehow.

When it was announced that they would be getting grouped together for their next stage, he felt both nervousness and excitement. Of course, he was disappointed to find out that he wasn’t going to get to perform with Won (yet), but this seemed like a great opportunity for him to form new bonds. Considering the fact that he never puts himself out there to make new relationships, this was perfect. They were going to need to interact with one another if they wanted this to work, so hopefully he would be able to even befriend all of his fellow members.

As soon as he started to meet them, he knew that he was lucky to be placed in team e. The others seemed just as passionate about this as he was, plus they were all fairly easy to get along with. He was drawn to both of his female teammates the quickest, though he wasn’t entirely sure why that was. However, he soon began speaking to Wonshik as well, and he could tell that Minho was just a fun presence to be around. Not only did he want to win for himself, but he wanted to win for them, too. They deserve this so much, so he was going to do everything in his power to not let them down. If he worked hard, hopefully they would be able to pull this off... he had a lot of faith and high hopes for team e... which was soon referred to as dream.e, which he really loved a lot.

Another thing that he really loved a lot was the song that they were going to do. It was one of his favorite groups, so he was filled with so much happiness when they decided on Tell Them. This probably meant that he would get to have the lines (or, some of them, at least) of one of his top favorite idols, which made him feel a lot more at ease about all of this. If he was familiar with the rap that he’d be doing, perhaps it wouldn’t take as long for him to perfect this.

Dividing the lines was fairly easy given they all had their different strengths, and Mingyu ended up with some of his favorite verses in the song. He knew that he would have to put in a lot of practice if he wanted to be able to do all of the choreography and refrain from messing up any of his lines, but he had a good feeling that he would get there. He knew that slacking off was not an option, so he prepared himself to work and work until he can’t physically do so anymore. Even though exhaustion would overtake him and sweat would cause his hair to mat to his forehead and clothing to stick to his skin, it was something that he was going to need to do.

They stopped going home almost as soon as their meetings began. The TRC practice room was available to them twenty-four/seven, so they definitely ended up taking advantage of that. Sleep was scarce, though when it happened, it was always in small bursts for Mingyu. He wasn’t comfortable here, but he knew this was for this best. It was so unfamiliar, and although he was growing closer to those he was surrounded by, they still weren’t his family. After getting so used to sleeping in a comfortable bed, wrapped in the arms of the boy that he loves the most in this world, this was a huge step down. He would try to be quiet so that the others could get what rest they needed, but he was pretty sure that he was experiencing a form of homesickness.

Every thought that played through his mind told him that he should leave the room, try to make a call to Won or his mother, though he never did. His reasoning? He didn’t want to worry them. They would be better off believing that he was resting well, eating well, and having the time of his life. Won surely had enough on his plate, having to deal with his own team and performance, so he didn’t need something like this to cloud his mind. Mingyu would overcome this in no time, though he feared that it would have lingered in his loved ones’ heads and hearts.

The days were easier than the late nights. Well, sometimes, anyway. Running through choreography was fun, especially once he started seeing improvement in his moves. That didn’t actually begin until he had help from Hyunjung, though. She was wonderful and great at assisting him, taking the time and having the patience to pinpoint just what he was struggling with. Her advice was some that he would really need to remember... he was too in his head. He needed to just allow his individuality to show. This dance, she reminded him, is meant for that. She was the team leader... she was practically born for it, he thought. Mingyu hoped that one day, the girl would be debuting in a group that would become extremely successful, representing them as their leader, too. He knew that she would be great for them.

Yoojung offering to buy him food at extremely late hours was another memory that he would cherish. She did a good job of taking care of him, though he hoped he would be able to return the favor eventually. She deserves all of the good things in life, so he hopes she receives that. He wants to see her win this thing, too. He wants to see all of his team win... They were great people who he genuinely hoped would get what they want out of this world.

Every day was business. Whether they were doing dry runs of the choreography, doing full rehearsals, fixing synchronization errors, or discussing their stage outfits, they always had something that needed to be done. (Speaking of the outfits, though, Mingyu actually really liked them. He was one of them in overalls, though he didn’t have it all the way on. The top of his was bunched around his waist, serving as only pants, and he wore a long-sleeved shirt that he had pushed up to his elbows... The only thing he could have lived without were the boots, but they weren’t that bad. Perhaps just not his style.)

The actual stage rehearsal made everything feel so real. Obviously, he knew that it was real even before that, but he nearly forgot how nerve-wracking it can be to be on stage and preparing to perform. Usually, it’s also exhilarating, too, but those feelings typically don’t show up until there’s a crowd with their eyes fixed on him. Later that day, there would be... he looked forward to it, yet he also dreaded it all at once. It was a really strange feeling.

Once it was finally time and the other teams were on stage, his heart rate sped up so fast he was afraid that the thing would beat right out of his chest. His stomach seemed to be doing somersaults and his breathing was a bit harsher than it typically was. It was only the anticipation that made him feel this way. He had a good feeling that once it was their turn and he was on stage, he would feel a bit more in his element. He always felt so free when actually performing, though it was a bit terrifying that he would need to be dancing along with his rapping, and he had his team members to keep in mind, too.

Hyunjung getting all of them to huddle together did start to melt his worries away, her energy doing a great job of rubbing off on him. He was beginning to get pumped with her, a smile forming on his face as he nodded a bit once she said she was proud of them. He was proud, too. They were going to do really well... he had a great feeling about them. He placed his hand on top of hers and, on her count, chanted their team name and pumped his hand into the air. Now... it was time for them to head out there, and all he had were high hopes.

Finally, they were on stage and it was time for introductions. Hyunjung started it out with “yo, do you like to dream?” and the rest chimed in with their, “dream.e!” as they placed their hands between their head and shoulder as if they were sleeping. Then, they had to individually announce themselves and who they were, though some of them left him laughing. He wasn’t going to cut up the same way, but it was amusing to see his teammates do so. He simply said, “I’m dream.e’s creative rapper, Kim Mingyu.” He wasn’t loud or showy... just straightforward. Though, his quiet nature (though he hopes is also charming) soon would be overridden by how energetic he can be when actually rapping and performing.

Mingyu! D.R.E.A.M is bang 무거운 눈커플 떼 Move up 즐겨두돼 trouble make 얼음땡!

As soon as he begins, he feigns so much confidence that he might have even fooled himself. He didn’t seem shy, nor quiet, he just seemed like a boy who was doing what he loved and having the time of his life. Which... that wasn’t a lie. This was an incredibly wonderful time, and he wasn’t allowed to get too lost in thought. He didn’t need to think about his lines, nor his dance moves, he just had to allow muscle memory to do its job while he enjoys his time on stage.

정적은 우리의 역적 걱정 조바심 하늘에 던져 Jump up!

Having the lines that he really wanted does do wonders for him as well, he thinks. Considering he was happy with the song, happy with his lines, happy with the dance, and happy with his members... he was able to smile and present himself in a way that he wanted everyone to see and know him for. He wanted them to realize that this is something that he was passionate about and he also wanted them to see that he worked well with a team. If anything, he might work better with a team than he does alone. That’s because he enjoys the company of others so much and loves knowing that he has to do his best for them... if someone is relying on him, it always pushes him to do so much better, in his opinion. It’s because of how much he values others compared to himself, probably. Though, he’s getting better about that (well... trying to).

나와 새장안에서 발을 동동굴려 바닥에 달력에 숫자들을 빨갛게 발단에서 절정에 다닿게

They worked together well. This team, despite being put together randomly, was a really good fit. In a way, he felt sad that he wouldn’t get to continue performing with them. He hoped that there would be more stages such as this one, and hoped that he would be lucky enough to work with some of them again. Even if they don’t get to do anything on the show together, maybe they can keep in contact and do some sort of cover together later. Maybe it was wishful thinking, but these people and how well they were doing filled him with an immense amount of joy.

언제까지 등돌리고 벽에다대고 하소연 할꺼야 엑스트라 인생 잘해봤자 조연 It's exciting just do your thing 때는 지금이니까 숨겨둔 끼를 선보여

Mingyu felt proud of himself. Back when he was still struggling to learn the choreo, he didn’t think he would be able to do as well as the others. He thought that all of them would probably outshine him, though that didn’t appear to be what was happening now. Actually, he thought they all complemented one another. No one was outshined, in his own personal opinion, since they all had important parts that would do well for them. He really wanted them to win, though even if they didn’t manage to, he still felt like they would stand out to those watching.

쩌렁쩌렁

He didn’t have many more lines in the song, though it was only about half way over. Considering most of his lines were in the first half, during the second half he didn’t have as much to worry about. Instead of having to think about lines and nailing each move, he could keep a clear mind and have fun while dancing around with the others.

이제 날개를 편때 삐뚤어져봐 오늘만큼만 쌓인것들 다 털어내 털어내

Once it was getting closer to the end, he found himself a little disappointed. He hoped that the song would magically grow in length and that they’d have more time to enjoy themselves on stage. All he knew was that he wanted to continue doing this. He hoped that giving his everything would pay off, since he wasn’t ready to stop experiencing this just yet. He wanted to carry on to the next round so he could do his best again, perform again, and make himself and others happy again. Later, he would know the verdict. He just really wanted it to be a good one.

You must up!

He had the very last line of the song, which felt impressive and bittersweet. It was over, so he found himself questioning everything. Did he do his best? Was this going to be enough? He had plenty of faith in his team, but soon it would be the moment of truth. He liked to believe that they did so well that they would all have wonderful feedback, he just hoped there weren’t any slip-ups that no one managed to catch. Everything was going to work out... he knew that much. He just hoped it would benefit all of dream.e, as well as Won... 

Speaking of which, he still had his performance to view. It would be on a screen and not as good as watching him in person, but he still felt so much excitement. That’s when he realized that his boyfriend had just witnessed him perform, too... he hoped he liked it. He wanted him to feel proud of him... he hoped that he saw that all of the time away was worth it. They can overcome anything, right? Deal with hard situations and make the best of it? Look at the bright side? If this is the life that they wanted, then they’d have to be strong enough... he wouldn’t let any of this break him, and he was determined to keep it from breaking Won, too. They could do this, couldn’t they?

The answer is yes.

They have to.

[memoriesofyccjungrk]

. : stepping stones : .

a mga4 starter for @rkxmnho

after running through her rap one more time for good measure, yoojung let out a long sigh and let her head fall into her hands, the paper that highlighted her lyrics falling from her hands. the spot was quickly replaced with yoojung's forehead. closing her eyes, yoojung tried to draw in a deep breath ― to try and calm herself because she was going to be fine ― wasn't she ? her group members were … well, for the most part, more skilled than yoojung. or, that was the way she kept viewing it ― because she was just some nineteen year old dance instructor who had never even auditioned for anything before ― but now she was here. shouldn't that mean something ?

for her dancing skills, sure. for her rapping skills ? that was … another story entirely. in all her time in the process, she'd only rapped once for the judges, and she wasn't sure that the blank expressions the panel had given her at the time had really meant anything. not to mention, that part wasn't even aired, so it wasn't like she had the public's opinion on it either. they loved her dancing ― while yoojung wasn't sure she stood out for any reason in particular, there were people who had noticed her, and loved her. that had to mean something, right ?

“ minho-ssi … ” yoojung eventually called out, knowing that minho was somewhere in the nearby vicinity, even if she wasn't sure exactly where. but, the practice room was small enough he would've heard her ― although, they were certainly bigger than her own studio at iMAGE ― so she wasn't too worried about it. not to mention, none of them had so much as left the trc building since they'd started practicing together, and made a pact to practically live there since practice started ― and that's what had happened. “ minho-ssi, do i suck as much as i'm pretty sure i do ? ” she whined, moving to prop her chin in her hands, elbows pressed against her knees in order to hold her head up. it was her way of attempting to ask for help without feeling too much like she was bothering him ― she hoped he'd pick up on the hint.