#that's a full on adult and sometimes ppl ask for help that have gone through things they haven't yet

[notlongerfunny]

The way some of you talk about younger sibling is wack

[hirokiyuu]

sols roundup masterpost

i mentioned i was reworking the original post on my ao3 and so here it is! please note that a) there are a LOT of spoilers under the cut  (guy who has 80+ hours and multiple multiple endings) and b) there’s a lot of ways to take sol and these are just me having fun with them, if u dont like thats fine but dont tell me i don’t care. lol. also worth noting i think time loops are most fun when they subtly influence each other so there’s a lot of that in here LOL

worth noting i think theres a few traits that are pretty universal to them? wants to do right and full of love are the big two, tho curiosity, (seeming) warmth, and ability to fit in w/those around them are also pretty important tho i think more flexible. its just fun the way various sols can have those traits like.... manifest? an alien-hater sol who goes hunting all the time is just as valid as a sol dating dys that wants to end the war. just different ppl they love and different experiences. its fun

with that. onto the Meat

1) solana (she/her (demi?)girl, loyalty leaning lawyer, neutral end)

baby’s first run! outwardly warm but pretty cold inside. hypercompetent everywhere except in her love life. fell for tang when they were like nine on the ship and just sort of, never stopped, feeling that way, including when she was 100 years old and had outlived tang by nearly forty years, partially bc fixating on tang as people were dying was kind of. the only solace she had. wouldve really benefited from a good therapist.

2) solanaceae (he/him tguy, governor, peace ending)

childhood optimist with a hero complex turned "realist” but actually-exactly-the-same-just-depressed-about-it adult. saves tammy and tonin and hal! cannot save his parents :) grows a little distant from most of the people around him as a result, except dys, who Gets it. avoids tang for pretty much no reason he can understand, just has a sense of She Will Hurt You If You Get Too Close when he sees her sometimes. becomes governor solely bc he wants to save people. the kind of person you can trust in your house with your keys and your valuables and then someone asks ‘hey whats his favorite color’ and youre like. i dont. actually know

3) solane (they/them nb, gardener ending)

manic overconfident freak. definitely a ‘i wont tell people about my dreams bc it’s like i’m a HERO this way!’ type. saves everyone and extremely proud about it. coasting through life from ages 14-19 until they go find dys after the bomb has gone off and he’s dating. someone else? which makes them freak out bc THEYRE the hero. so instead of being normal about this they become a gardener in a desperate attempt not to be left behind

It’s Bad!

4) solanaceae (he/him cisguy, colonial hero, neutral ending) x / x

this is the one ive been referring to in private as “fascist manwhore sol�� and honestly. yeah. just as overconfident as the last but extremely charming about it. the kind of guy you kinda wanna hit but also can’t help but like? somehow manages to be close w/most everyone in the colony despite their various opinions. really really hates the gardeners + even sym, for some reason w/in himself that he can’t explain. 

in Love with dys for most of their lives but cant ever make it work, fwb with rex, dates vace despite having matching tattoos with his ex-gf. hes just that kind of guy. dies young and a hero, less than a year after dys disappears into the ridges. dont think abt it too hard.

5) solane (she/her nb, neutral end, roboticist on accident somehow but a social skills job wouldve fit much better)

if third sol Thinks theyre god this sol like. actually Is. extremely clear dreams, used to talk abt them pretty much always until her first trip to medbay, at which point she stopped ever letting adults know. kind of existentially exhausted as a result. using this life literally just as a coffeeshop au lol. poly but also probably aromantic; open rship w/rex, who they love a lot but no more so than literally any of their other friends. pretty happy with stuff! 

until they go to see dys off when he “vanishes” from the colony and they accidentally let it drop they couldve like. ended the whole war. he’s. displeased. they still make an effort to enjoy the rest of their life but when they die theyre thinking abt how they should try to be a better person next time. and also hoping they remember less.

6) solanaceae (genderfluid but generally refers to self as a lesbian, peace end, botanist) x

cheerful heroine! desperately wants to be normal and tries so so hard to ignore her dreams, which works kind of, right up until they very purposefully ignores the one abt tammy and tammy dies immediately after :) at which point they completely switches gears and uses their dreams to try and save Everyone they can. bffs with nem since childhood & into her pretty much Always. everyone’s friend! dies content and at peace.

interestingly, bc this is the route where i got paradox ending on a save, probably the sol closest to the wormhole + everything about it, despite not actually remembering much from his dreams. it manifests in other ways. lol.

7) solane (she/her cisgirl, neutral end, roboticist)

coward who can only be brave when it’s for the sake of the people she loves, most notably tammy who she actually dislikes until she saves her life, at which point she realizes maybe she Can be a hero too. better with robots than people, spent most of her childhood following cal around bc he was one of hte only ppl to make time for her. falls madly in love w/tammy; their family is her biggest joy. a good parent.

8) solanaceae (he/him agender, neutral end, doctor)

feral intense child who becomes a terrifying eagle-eyed doctor. max perception by age eleven, somehow. STRONG sense of justice. strongest belief is “if you ignore someone you couldve saved, you’re garbage.” not quite high enough friendship w/nem to convince her to leave vace as teens; helps her later on when theyre adults. years and years later after dys “dies” they end up moving in and spend the rest of their lives together.

9) solanaceae (they/them nb, peace end, entertainer)

awkward ace kid who always speaks their mind. accidentally destroys tammy’s confidence every time they talk. gets confessed to by both marz and rex, shoots them down extremely awkwardly due to both aforementioned asexuality and the fact theyve had a crush on dys since they were thirteen. takes their promise to let him go seriously to the point that when he tries to bomb hte colony, they let him, and when he wants to be a gardener, they don’t stand in his way. is alright with this at first but slowly begins to feel lonelier and lonelier about it as time passes, and when they die and realize they won’t actually be with him again they feel. Very Bad. pass on wishing they’d not let him go but resenting him for asking to.

10) solane (she/her cisgirl, neutral end, xeno wrangler)

ive been calling this one “cuckoo bird sol” for a reason. desperately wants someone to be devoted to Her and Her Alone who Won’t Leave, and feels like. cal is good for that. doesn’t like tammy as a result, which means that when she has a nightmare abt tammy dying she doesn't even care, it’s not like its REAL. yeah. It’s Bad! she feels guilty abt it and then feels bad bc she’s also happy bc cal spends more time with her but also she does sure feel like shes competing against a dead girl huh! so! that’s fun!

eventually she does work her shit out and realize she does like cal himself and does want kids on her own terms but like. the process of getting there! one fucked up kid. dies more content than she realized she could be, glad for her family.

11) solanaceae (she/her nb leaning, peace end, parent) x

rowdy. her heart is 80% love and 20% pure unadulterated rage. unaugmented, which she personally doesnt care abt, but she sure does get pissed off at ppl trying to be soooo nice to her abt it! too busy w/sfc stuff during wet and as such completely misses her chance to talk dys out of the bomb. when she finds him on the ridges afterwards they yell at each other abt being in love w/each other for forever and she manages to drag him back home.

in some ways this would be my “golden run” (full friendship with everyone) (jesus christ) but despite that her actual bffs besides dys are tammy and (unfortunately) vace. in another world i would retcon this to ot3 but in this one she kissed sym and then he died in front of her and despite herself she kind of cant stop flinching away from him now if he tries to make a move. they do hinge poly instead it works. has a boatload of kids and never augments any of them. dies exhausted and delighted and in love w/the world. 

12) solane (he/him cisguy, peace ending, parent oops)

delusion run! sol who cant stop talking abt his delusions even when he knows he should. pursues dys in the “we were In Love before so we will be again!” way not the “i like you!” way until he gets. y’know. lobotomized. in some ways not focusing on his dreams is good for him but also he loses a lot of his personality? focus? afterwards

teases tammy relentlessly but ends up falling for her but bc for some reason this run glitched and tammy’s pregnancy just. kept going. she never had the kid? so i didnt date her even tho he wouldve lol. tbh most of th ending for this one is what id consider noncanon for him but ill retcon it later when i have more Vibes in place

13) solanaceae (they/he, peace ending, astronaut) this is a dead dove run (mentions of abuse)

unlucky number thirteen :) sol coming out of a delusion run with the creeping sense that they should not trust Anyone with their secrets. a little disconnected from the ppl around them tho they get on well enough w/dys and tang. madly in love with the wormhole. desperate to get off the planet and back into space so they can see it, a sentiment no one shares until, y’know. vace.

in Love (lol) with him after his 50. first time theyve ever met anyone they think Gets them so they enable him. fucking crushed when he starts dating nem. when he offers to cheat they take him up on it, which means he learns nothing and they lose one of their childhood friends :) eventually they go into space together just like they wanted! it’s bad! die in the wormhole and i think thats the first time they ever truly, from the bottom of their heart, regret everything. never want to fall in love again.

14) sol (no pronouns whenever possible but sort of ok w/they, peace ending, farmer) warning for abuse mentions in this one as well

sometimes you get so badly abused in one life your next life it still affects you! kind of an odd child, gets along better w/congruence than the other kids but thinks of cal is like a brother. doing ok until helios lands and then it’s like. h

avoids vace like the plague, despises/is afraid of him but doesn’t realize why until after sol starts understanding dreams more. when he dies i think sol wants to be like Good Riddance but. cant fully. approaches rex bc sol want to know What’s Up With The Whole Rex+Vace Deal, end up falling pretty hard. dating sym also, the three of them living together is an Experience i think. dies full of Love.

15) solana (he/him tguy, peace end, athlete)

rambunctious! cheerful! kind of dumb! falls in love w/cal from a young age and is convinced they’re gonna grow up and get married and is subsequently crushed when cal starts dating tammy instead esp bc. cal sort of. lead them on a bit w/it. slowly falls in love w/dys in the aftermath.

a bit immature. plays sportsball even in the middle of war, tension with both cal And nem as a result despite still being their bffs. he and nem are on opposite sportsball teams for the rest of their lives and yet go out for drinks after constantly. she’s his sister, basically! dies pretty happy w/how things turned out

16) solanaceae (she/they, neutral end, merchant)

greedy greedy greedy. wants money and love and attention, time and people and things, everyhting you can think of she wants it. she marz and tang are the Terrible WLW Trio of Girls Who Might Be Dating. bit of a soft spot for dys she can’t quite rationalize, will be kind to him when she’s not to anyone else. fond of rex as well.

she and marz flirt by flirting with tang, aka the person she Actually likes. pretty happy when they finally hook up, but isn’t devastated by the breakup as much as she is.... left hollow. another mistake on top of everyhting else (capitalism, dys vanishing, girl shes liked forever dumping her, also theres maybe a fleet from earth coming but haha dw abt it) she tells rex abt the fleet maybe a year? before it shows up. dies wishing desperately she had been able to be kinder.

17) solana (he/him tguy, peace end, professor) x

sugary sweet! childhood friends with tammy, they’re v similar people. loves her a lot, cannot wait to be best man at her wedding to cal LOL. despite his gentle demeanor he is also absolutely the kind of guy to do Whatever It Takes for the ppl he loves (ie poisons uncle tonin to keep him alive LOL)

thinks nomi is like, the coolest person in the universe when they meet bc they can MAKE things. so so stupid about them. when they start dating its embarrassing for everyone but they are so happy together no one can actually say anything. dies happy but wishing he was more confident in himself/brave

aaaaaaaaanyways that’s the current list. for Now. there may be more coming. i have offshoots of some of these as well that may or may not pop up wwww generally for fic that isn’t set with a specific sol i tend towards an nb sol closest to personality+dreams to my sixth sol? cheerful and trying to help but also Just A Kid about it!

[traumatizeddfox]

Hey. So I’m kind of in a predicament where I’m not sure if what happened to me was considered “grooming” or not…could you possibly help? If not it’s ok, but I’ll explain down below if you wanted to.

So essentially about 5 years ago when I was 17, I was on a dating app made for adults (I know, I shouldn’t have done that to begin with) and a guy who was 23 had messaged me. I told him my age and he said it was “a little weird” but “it was fine”, so I kept talking to him. He lived about 2-3 hours from me so we met up, I asked him out, and he accepted. I told my parents this and they were NOT happy at first, telling me that he’s too old and all that…but eventually seeing how stubborn I was, they gave in and let me see him (even as far as letting him stay the night every weekend). He told me to change my birthday on Facebook so his parents and friends would think I’m 18, because deep down he must’ve known it was wrong. The thing is though, unlike(?) a lot of groomers he didn’t wait until I was 18 to have intercourse with me…we just did it. So would that still be considered grooming, or just a scummy thing to do? I’m not really that educated on these things, but I do know that he emotionally (and physically one time) abused me. I feel like if I was older I would have known better & to get the FUCK out of the relationship ASAP…so I think that’s where he was taking advantage of me being so young bc he knew I wasn’t as experienced etc etc. I guess I just want validation that my abuse was real, and my brain isn’t lying to me idk. Sometimes I’ll doubt it by telling myself “well 17 isn’t THAT bad” or “people have gone through way worse” etc…. But yeah..is that considered “grooming” and am I right to feel dirty even after 5 years…? 😪

to answer your question yes it’s grooming! you were still a minor and you were a child, you didn’t understand the full capacity of what could happen but he did. the fact he told u to change ur facebook to 18, means he knew what he was doing. even if ppl have gone through worse doesn’t mean what you went through wasn’t abuse. you were groomed

[citysvein]

                *   //    𝙻𝙾𝙰𝙳𝙸𝙽𝙶  𝙿𝚁𝙾𝙵𝙸𝙻𝙴   …   /𝚃𝙷𝙴_𝙲𝙾𝙾𝚁𝙳𝙸𝙽𝙰𝚃𝙾𝚁   :    chloe   kim   also   known   as   zero   is   wanted   for   grand   larceny   .   she   is   a   twenty-three   year   old   cis   female   who   has   ties   to   the   mastermind   because   she   hacked   into   his   private   server  ;   once   at   the   request   of   a   benefactor   and   another   time   for   fun   .   𝙰𝚂𝚂𝙾𝙲𝙸𝙰𝚃𝙴𝙳   𝚆𝙸𝚃𝙷   :   strawberry   flavored   bubblegum   ,   the   glow   of   a   computer   screen   in   a   dark   room  ,   tattoos   hidden   by   oversized   sweater   sleeves   ,   &   cyber   stalking   your   exes   .   𝙳𝙾   𝙽𝙾𝚃   𝙼𝙸𝚂𝚃𝙰𝙺𝙴   𝙵𝙾𝚁   :   yoo shiah   .  

━  ˙ ˖  ☆     QUICK  STATS  !

full  name  :   chloe   kim   .

nickname(s)  :   chlo   .

age   :   twenty-three   . 

codename   :   zero   .

role:   the   coordinator   .   

zodiac  :   gemini   sun   ,   gemini   moon   (  click   !  )

sexuality  :   bisexual   .

alignment   :   chaotic   neutral   .

pinterest   :   (   click !   )  

━  ˙ ˖  ☆     BACKSTORY  !    (  tw  :  death  &  car  crash  )

chloe   kim   was   born   in   and   raised   in   ann   arbor   ,   michigan   .   there   was   nothing   truly   remarkable   about   her   childhood   —   she   was   an   only   child   born   into   a   middle   class   family    .    her   mother   was   a   professor   and   her   father   was   a   physical   therapist   ,   and   they   were   very   happily   married   ,   so   she   had   a   stable   life   .   ann   arbor   was   a   fittingly   normal    place   to   grow   up   .   nothing   too   out   of   the   ordinary   ever   seemed   to   happen   .

the   only   anomaly   in   chloe’s   unremarkable   existence   ,    it   seemed   ,   was   herself   .   from   a   young   age   it   was   obvious   she   wasn’t   like   most   kids   .    she   was   decidedly   smarter   ,   an   intelligence   that   impressed   the   adults   around   her   .   her   parents   often   described   her   as   a   highly   curious   ,   if   not   a   little   naughty   ,    child   .   it   seemed   like   she   was   born   with   the   desire   to   know   how   the   world   around   her   worked   ,   and   it   wasn’t   uncommon   to   find   her   tinkering   around   with   her   toys   or   household   objects    ,    taking   them   apart   just   so   she   could   learn   how   to   put   them   back   together   .   

she   graduated   from   high   school   at   sixteen   ,   a   year   early   ,   and   was   offered   a   full   ride   to   MIT   ,   which   she   gladly   accepted   .   moving   to   cambridge,   massachusetts   marked   the   most   interesting   thing   to   happen   to   her   yet   .   she’d   long   dreamed   of   excitement   ,   the   only   thing   she   had   to   entertain   her   back   home   being   her   love   for   computers   .   chloe   was   ready   for   a   change   ,   which   was   exactly   what   she   received   .  

free   from   the   confines   of   being   that   one   smart   girl   in   ann   arbor   ,   she   didn’t   feel   pressured   to   conform   to   the   idea   of   her   that   had   been   carefully   crafted   by   the   people   back   home   any   longer   .   she   didn’t   just   have   to   care   about   school   ,   or   be   shy   about   how   she   unironically   loved   reality   tv   ,   or   pretend   like   pink   wasn’t   the   absolute   best   color   in   the   whole   world   .   facing   comments   from   nerdy   boys   about   how   she   was   too   pretty   to   be   smart   or   about   how   she   was   clearly   in   the   wrong   class   seemed   like   a   small   price   to    pay   if   she   could   finally   be   herself   .

MIT   ,   however   ,   did   feel   like   the   wrong   place   for   chloe   most   of   the   time   .   she   realized   very   quickly   that   while   she   was   gifted   and   bright   ,   she   had   no   passion   or   drive   to   pursue   typical   careers   the   way   most   people   in   her   major   did   .   she   also   had   a   knack   for   using   her   skills   in   unconventional   (   if   not   illegal   )   ways   ,   like   when   she   started   charging   a   pretty   penny   to   hack   boyfriends   suspected   by   their   girlfriends   of   cheating   ,   or   hacking   into   the   local   police   database   to   browse   through   people’s   criminal   records   like   it   was   the   equivalent   of   reading   gossip   magazines   .

at   the   end   of   her   junior   year   ,   after   voicing   her   concerns   about   whether   or   not   university   life   was   for   her   to   her   parents   in   one   of   her   weekly   calls   back   home   ,   they’d   made   the   decision   to   go   surprise   chloe   .   after   flying   into   massachusetts   from   michigan   they’d   rented   a   car   and   were   on   their   way   to   drive   up   to   her   dorm   when   they   got   into   a   fatal   accident   .   there   had   been   a   nasty   storm   that   night   ,   and   chloe   can   still   remember   how   she’d   gotten   a   severe   thunderstorm   warning   alert   on   her   cellphone   moments   before   she   got   the   police   call   informing   her   of   what   happened   .

in   the   blink   of   an   eye   her   life   had   gone   from   average   to   tragic   .   she   couldn’t   process   the   death   of   her   parents   —   there   was   no   other   driver   to   blame   ,   nothing   faulty   about   the   rental   car    they’d   been   driving   ,   only   the   weather   and   the   slippery   roads   .   chloe   would   have   surely   flunked   out   from   MIT   had   her   professors   ,   who   mostly   harbored   soft   spots   for   the   girl   and   were   especially   sympathetic   towards   her   situation   ,   not   given   her   the   few   credits   she   needed   to   graduate   that   spring   .

armed   with   an   IT   degree   but   not   much   else   ,   chloe   went   back   to   ann   arbor   for   her   parent’s   funeral   and   the   selling   of   her   childhood   home   .   realizing   she   had   no   place   to   go   afterwards   ,   she   became   a   bit   of   a   vagabond   ,   spending   the   entirety   of   her   19th   year   living   out   of   motel   rooms   in   various   cities   .   not   in   the   head   space   for   a   full   time   career   ,   and   with   her   mind   still   foggy   from   mourning   ,   she   started   picking   up   where   she’d   left   off   in   college   in   terms   of   odd   and   illegal   ways   to   make   money.   

when   she   was  20   she   caught   the   attention   of   someone   she  quickly   realized   was   important   ,   a   client   with   a   request   and   a   payday   like   nothing   she’d   ever   seen   before   .   all   he   wanted   chloe   to   do   was   hack   into   someone’s   private   server   ,   and   so   she   did   .   she   didn’t   ask   questions   but   she   did   snoop   around   ,   a   small   act   or   curiosity   that   would   forever   change   her   world   .   what   she   found   was   almost   incomprehensible   ,   a   network   of   some  sort   with   the   most   detailed   plans   and   profiles   .   never   having   been   motivated   by   any   sort   of   moral   compass   before   ,   chloe   couldn’t   explain   why   she   lied   to   the   man   who   had   hired   her   ,   claiming   she   hadn’t   been   skilled   enough   to   get   through   .   

he’d   bought   her   excuse   ,   another   man   who   couldn’t   see   past   a   pretty   face   to   the   brain   behind   it    .   for   months   afterwards   chloe   tried   to   forget   about   the   things   she’d   seen   and   read   ,   that   exciting   world   she’d   only   discovered   by   chance   ,    but   she   just   couldn’t   let   it   go   .   she   was   inexplicably   drawn   to   whoever   was   behind   it   all   ,   proving   it   when   she   hacked   them   a   second   time   around   ,    this   time   for   her   own   entertainment   and   satisfaction   .   she   couldn’t   explain   it   —   especially   not   when   she   left   behind   a   trail   this   time   around   ,   wanting   to   be   caught   ,   wanting   so   desperately   to   be   contacted   .   

when   chloe   is   recruited   by   J    ,   it   feels   like   the   first   blessing   since   her   parent’s   deaths   .   it   wasn’t   the   money   she   was   interested   in   ,   but   him   ,   the   way   he   makes   people   feel   special   and   needed   filling   a   void   she’d   never   let   herself   admit   she   had   in   the   first   place   .   she’s   loyal   to   him   ,   and   so   she’s   loyal   to   the   crew   ,   and   for   the   first   time   in   her   whole   life   it   feels   like   she   might   have   found   the   place   she   truly   belongs   .         

━  ˙ ˖  ☆     PERSONALITY  +  TIDBITS  !

thats   right   ...   i   made   her   a   double   gemini   baby   !   😈   its   just   chaos   all   over   as   u   can   imagine   ...   gotta   love   a   sexy   sign   aha   no   im   not   biased   <3   she’s   got   a   pretty   good   balance   of   intelligence   &   curiosity   in   her   ,   so   instead   of   coming   off   as   a   know-it-all   she’s   more   likely   to   come   across   as   nosy   .   she   just   loves   to   figure   stuff   out    .   whether   it’s   code   or   people   she   wants   to   know   how   things   work   .

generally   speaking   ,   she’s   pretty   easy   going   !    when   it   comes   to   her   relationships   with   people   she’s   not   that   high   maintenance   ,   in   fact   sometimes   it’s   easy   to   mistake   her   easy   going   attitude   with   aloofness   or   disinterest   ,   which   isn’t   the   case   at   all   .   when   she   does   get   annoyed   though   she’s   not   shy   about   letting   you   know   how   she   feels   ,   and   she’s   got   a   BIG   potty   mouth   ...   it’s   like   when   people   have   road   rage   SJDBWJDBJW   she’ll   curse   you   out   in   a   short   burst   of   anger   then   decide   she’s   over   it   before   you   even   have   time   to   process   what   happened   . 

since   she’s   been   on   her   own   pretty   much   her   whole   life   (   no   siblings   ,   no   set   group   of   friends   )   it   was   a   bumpy   adjustment   to   go   from   having   no   one   to   being   part   of   a   team   .   she   definitely   wasn’t   upset   by   it   ,   but   chloe   can   get   into   trouble   sometimes   because   she’s   got   a   knack   for   always   saying   what   she’s   thinking   without   filtering   herself   first   ,   so   she’s   definitely   started   some   arguments   or   hurt   some   feelings   on   accident   </3   

loves   to   joke   around   and   treat   things   like   they’re   no   big   deal   ,   even   when   they   are   .   this   is   especially   true   when   it   comes   to   her   own   abilities   .   she’ll   casually   mention   hacking   into   a   number   of   high   security   facilities   and   servers   and   how   she   bought   a   new   sailor   moon   hoodie   in   the   same   sentence   like   it’s   nothing   .

almost   always   either   dressed   in   pink   or   black   ,   or   a   combination   of   the   two   .   she   swears   she   owns   clothes   in   other   colors   but   those   two   are   definitely   her   defaults   .   switches   between   more   casual   street-styles   and   girly   attire   on   a   day   to   day   basis   .   owns   many   sanrio   themed   articles   of   clothing   ,   accessories   ,   and   plushies   and   will   accept   zero   criticism   about   it   !    

chews   gum   a   lot    ,   but   especially   when   she’s   working   on   her   computer   .   she   claims   it   helps   her   focus   but   who   knows   for   sure   maybe   she   just   likes   chomping   and   blowing   bubbles   ...

she’s   a   serial   dater   .   chloe   finally   had   to   force   herself   to   swear   off   tinder   because   she   kept   doing   extensive   background  searches   (   hacking   )   on   the   people   she   was   going   on   dates   with   .  still   cyber   stalks   her   exes   but   she   swears   it’s   purely   an   act   of   public   service   since   they   were   all   insane   (   in   her   opinion   ,    which   is   never   wrong   )   and   she’s   just   trying   to   make   sure   they   haven’t   committed   any   major   crimes   aha   x   

not   very   good   at   being   romantic   or   emotionally   vulnerable   SDBWJDBJW   truly   the   thought   alone   is   terrifying   enough   but   when   she   watches   pride   and   prejudice   alone   at   2am   she   cries   so   your   girl   has   it   in   her   she’s   just   not   there   yet   <3   physical   intimacy   she   has   no   issue   with   it’s   just   the   serious   stuff   that   makes   her   want   to   eat   glass   ...   or   so   she   says   .

has   questionable   drinking   habits   .   can   she   out   drink   a   man   twice   her   size   ?    sure   .   should   she   be   putting   that   to   the   test   at   10   am   at   a   chili’s   after   a   night   out   ?   absolutely   not   but   it   100%   happened   and   she   would   probably   do   it   again   because   she   simply   pretends   her   mistakes   never   happened   in   the   first   place   and   that’s   why   she   never   learns   !

absolutely   refuses   to   talk   to   anyone   about   her   life   and   what   happened   to   her   parents   .   she   still   hasn’t   fully   grieved   or   processed   it   ,   and   honestly   speaking   she’s   been   using   the   crew   and   J   as   a   coping   mechanism   almost   .   chloe’s   adamant   belief   in   the   heists   they   do   and   their   capabilities   as   a   unit   has   less   to   do   with   the   real   chances   on   whether   or   not   they   can   pull   something   off   and   everything   to   do   with   the   fact   that   she   needs   things   to   work   and   she   needs   them   to   be   together   .   that’s   why   she’s   usually   one   of   the   first   ones   to   pep   talk   people   when   there   are   doubts   .   she   can’t   risk   losing   a   second   family   /: 

low   key   addicted   to   getting   tattoos   .   it   started   with   tiny   ones   on   her   fingers   and   wrists   and   now   she’s   thinking   about   getting   a   sleeve   ...   if   only   she   could   decide   on   what   to   get   tattooed   #AirSignThings   x   don’t   ask   her   to   make   decisions   if   you   want   an   answer   before   this   decade   ends   .

strawberry   is   her   favorite   fruit   and   flavor   !   if   she’s   not   chewing   strawberry   gum   ,   she’s   drinking   strawberry   milk   .

once   started   an   instagram   to   review   different   mozzarella   sticks   after   lorde   was   outed   for   running   an   onion   ring   reviewing   instagram   .

won   a   goldfish   at   a   fair   when   she   was   in   college   ,   named   him   stinky   ,   then   cried   for   a   week   straight   after   she   found   him   floating   dead   in   his   fish   bowl   the   next   day   ...   she   hasn’t   had   a   pet   since   </3   

if   you   ever   tell   chloe   good   job   she   will   act   cool   in   the   moment   but   at   night   when   she’s   trying   to   go   to   bed   she   will   look   like   this   🥺   never   forgets   a   compliment   she   loves   them   even   if   she   pretends   she   doesn’t   need   them   ...

told   myself   i’d   make   this   short   by   not   adding   a   plots   section   and   it’s   still   a   novel   truly   i   hate   this   life   .   once   again   i   am   asking   u   to   add   me   on   discord   glo lovecore ʕ´• ᴥ•̥`ʔ#8172   and   plot   with   me   💖   also   my   intros   are   always   winged   so  if   i   start   writing   as   chloe   and   her   personality   does   a   180   like   dua   lipa   said   PLEASE   mind   ur   business   that’s   why   i   made   her   a   gemini   ok   😭😭😭   pls   enjoy   this   meme   chloe   has   probably   sent   to   ur   muse   at   least   once   ...

[goodestboyryuji]

Phantom thieves and hogwarts houses GO

YOU JUST MADE MY DAY. HERE WE GO FAM (I’m not finished with the game so since I don’t know much about Haru we’re just gonna go through Futaba)

Starting with my best boy Ryuji Sakamoto IS A HUFFLEPUFF AND THERE IS NO ARGUMENT AGAINST IT. I will accept that Ryuji has Gryffindor qualities (bravery, not afraid of confrontation, risk-taker, etc) but that boy is NOTHING if not LOYAL. Ryuji is sunlight incarnate I will accept no other metaphor. He cares about literally everyone before he cares about himself. He literally offers to be beat up if it would make his old team feel better (pls). He is relationship-driven and his risk-taking behaviors, his confrontations, his passion for justice all come from helping out someone else. Definitely the kinda dude that would consider the house elves in a dire situation. He’s so aggressively selfless that it’s almost like “pls care about yourself first just once.” Ryuji time and time again puts other people before his personal needs and safety without a single second of hesitation. He just DOES it. And he’ll do it fifty times if you need him to. If you call him at 3am crying he’s showing up in your room, sneaking you into the Hufflepuff common room for snacks.  If you don’t have a pencil in class, he’s giving you his without mentioning it’s his only one (s’not like he was gonna do nothin’ with it anyway). You about to head into a fight he’s got no stake in? Doesn’t matter, he’s got your back. He once punched a student for making snide comments about another student’s sexuality and he has no ragrets about it. A blushin’ fool whenever someone is tender towards him cause he’s so busy being that/doing that to everyone else he doesn’t think about being on the receiving end. He’s just happy to make someone else smile, ya know? HE IS KIND. HE IS TRUE. HE IS A HUFFLEPUFF.

Akira Kurusu is 3000% a Slytherin. Dark, mysterious, smug ass mofo. A leader of his in-group (teenagers being the in-group, adults being the out-group) and thus inclusive in the sense that anyone who joins the cause can be a Phantom Thief. Where a Hufflepuff (Ryuji) might do anything for anyone they care about impulsively, a Slytherin pauses for a second, calculating–instead of diving headfirst to save Ryuji in the first palace and ending up with nothing, he hesitates and that’s when Aresene is like “so u gonna let the boy die??” and akira is like “no gimme a second there’s a fucking mask on my face.” His persona is all about MAGIC and DARKNESS if that’s not obvious enough for ya. This boy is snakey sneaky, all cunning eyes and cocky smiles and deep, mocking laughs. He knows he’s powerful and he’s not afraid to show you that he knows it. What’s wrong with knowing your own strength? Let’s not forget he is a master of interrogation. The ultimate trickster, he’s not above pulling dumb pranks on you and blaming it on a Gryffindor for its lack of complexity. He a good dude, tho, because obviously Slytherins aren’t bad. He gives his plant nutrients to make it stronger bc he likes building something up to be more than it started (most ppl would just water it but aiight dude). He’ll casually walk up behind you while you’re getting bullied, sling his arm around your shoulders, and be like “something the matter?” Totally threatening without a single verbal threat. Secretly loves bubble baths, will give you a scathing look if you even try to tease him about it tho. 

Ann Takamaki, Gryffindor extraordinaire. She starts out kinda timid but she’s actually daring af. She keeps a relationship with Kamoshida who is the worst man alive just for her friend’s sake, but she also isn’t afraid to ignore Kamoshida’s calls (hesitant =/= afraid, ok). Fiery af, Ann is liable to go off on you at any time for a bunch of really good reasons (and some just ok). Ryuji, stop being a dick. Akira, enough brooding. Morgana, shut up for once. Just as spirited as Ryuji, but his light is like warmth and hers is like scorching. Like…literally, her specialty is fire these things write themselves i swear to god. Extremely passionate, especially for the things she believes in like The Phantom Thieves, Shiho (obviously), and giving people courage to stand up for themselves. She really wants to prove herself, seen esp in her social link, and be strong for herself and others. She’s headstrong, kind to the little guy, scathing to the big guy. She’s incredibly competitive and gets into eating contests all the time in the Gryf common room (she also wins every time, especially if the food of choice is crepes). She knows she is beautiful, and is thus confident, but avoids being vain by reminding herself how each person she comes across is also beautiful (”pretty eyes, biggest heart”). Feeling insecure? Call Ann, she’ll hype you up in under ten seconds. Spend an hour with her in a crowded room and you’ll swear it was just you two the whole time. Ann is giving, courageous, and ready to fly off the handle if need be. 

Yusuke Kitagawa, my darling painter boy, is a Ravenclaw. Curiosity killed the cat, but satisfaction brought it back!!!!! Yusuke is a Ravenclaw through and through. He wants to know more, wants to expand his understanding. He’s not afraid of doing whatever it takes to achieve these things: he’ll spend hours watching the river, waiting for something to come to him, or he’ll awkwardly approach a couple in love and ask them what their love life is like (he needs to know for a painting ok it’s not a sexual thing). He is elegant and fluid and his definition of “the finer things in life” EDIT i’m dying i accidentally wrote “finger things in life” the first time depends on how much he knows about it and how much value he sees in it (for example, a cup of coffee brewed by Akira is one of the most delicious things he’s ever known, much finer than any rich person food, purely for the effort it takes to think of the beans, to make sure the water is the right temperature, etc). Gets lost in his head all the time. Has an understated air of haughty in certain situations, like he’s fully aware he’s better than u but only mentions it to remind you when it seems you’ve forgotten. Uses way too many words to describe a sneeze just because he can.  Yusuke doesn’t give a shit who you are: if you came out to him, he’d nod solemnly and then ask if he could interpret your emotions into an abstract painting (that he would then gift to you, of course). He’d ask you on museum dates, historical bus tour dates (why yusuke why), planetarium dates *cough*, even if things between you two were totally platonic. He just likes discovering, especially with someone he can bounce ideas off of. 

Makoto Nijima is, brace yourself, a Gryffindor. WHAT. yes. trust. Dis girl is POWERFUL. And you can be Ravenclaw and powerful too, no doubts about it, but just because she’s top of her class doesn’t mean she’s Ravenclaw. She studies cause she’s competitive. She’s student council president because she likes the status, the power associated with it (power to protect, to serve, not corrupt power). Makoto is also fiery like Ann, but in a different way. She doesn’t fly off the handle like Ann can; Makoto calculates first, strategizes, and then fuckin’ GOES FOR THE KILL. She’s a headshot kinda girl–take em out simply, easily, quickly (metaphorically speaking obvs she doesn’t go around killing ppl). Queen is a very apt codename because Makoto’s path is a fiery blaze of ambition and strength. She’s gonna get what she wants because she’s been working very hard for it and don’t u take that away from her u piece of shit. She’s not terribly confident though, and this sometimes makes her feel uncomfortable in the Gryf common room when everyone is talking about their achievements. She’d rather just show than tell. Not really a master of stealth (lol), Makoto is your big sister in the hallways always looking out for you. If someone breaks your heart she will literally punch them in the face (and apologize profusely afterwards, but you know she’s secretly p pleased with herself). She likes learning new things about the world, always turns it into a competition with you even if it pushes her boundaries (you two went to a strip club once and even though you put a dollar on the stage, she one-upped you by putting it in a thong, face blushing so hard but determined to overcome). Her drive and determination are her biggest, most redeemable, wonderful qualities. The rest is just the happy byproduct. 

Snarky is as Slytherin does for Futaba Sakura. This girl is a nightmare in all the best ways. Somehow she figures out your weakness just by looking at you and has the ability to absolutely destroy you in just a few words. What she doesn’t show is the literal hours of research she did on you beforehand: she bugged your robe, your wand, set up a camera in your common room…a girl’s gotta have intel, alright? Futaba is an actual mastermind of everything, but the Hat settled on Slytherin because of how Futaba intended to utilize such knowledge. She doesn’t love it for the sake of knowing it, she loves it for what power it gives her. Futuba loves the upper hand and having full view of the whole picture, so Slytherin’s innate ability to lead a situation and turn tables was a huge calling point for her. If Akira is the dark mysterious Slytherin, Futaba is the loud and out of control Slytherin who nobody messes with because she’s got dirt on everyone and the means to release it widely. She prefers to stay in her room than gather with her house or other classmates, often completing assignments from there, but no one minds because it’s not like she’s really gone. She conjures up stand ins for her and speaks through them, engaging without really engaging. Watch out for when Akira and Futaba team up tho–they’re the Slytherin version of Fred and George, conniving and ruthless when it comes to playing tricks on you. Like Akira, she’s still a good girl: she understands anxiety better than anyone and is well known for comforting students who fall into a panic attack. She struggles with social situations sometimes and no one makes mention of it, this time not because they’re afraid of her but because they care about her and they know she’d never cross a line with them, so why cross one with her? She just likes to wield information like a weapon. That’s all. >:)

I forgot Morgana lmao so you can find that here

[pearlcrysta]

How I Create Fanfiction Using MysMe as Example (Method and Advice)

I am not coming close as a great writer.

Fanfictioning is purely done for my own enjoyment and amusement whenever i fall in love deep, DEEP, with a story, char, setting etc, whether it’s related to anime or other works of fiction. Ideas keep clinging onto my brain and those ideas need their release onto either an art medium or writing. 

Anywho, probably a long ass text coming here, so here I present to you the steps my brain takes in order to regurgitate writing content. I’ll be using my Night-Owl Romance hiatus fanfic as an example for some steps. If you don’t wanna read all the text, just look at the bold letters. 

PREPARATORY STEPS

 1) First of all, as a general rule to have in mind before starting, it is NOT ENOUGH to see an anime or read a book/manga only ONCE and then establish a story based on your first impressions. I mean, you could - but you would surely miss out on a lot of info and context about the characters you wish to play with and not realize the full depth of their impact within the story. Or why they might do questionable things or actions u may not understand the first time.

 For a game like Mystic Messenger, it’s important for you to have gone through all routes a few times and then keep on researching about the character you wish to base your subject on. If you don't have that much time on your hand to be thorough, then it's ok. XD But it's a recommendation if you want to strive to have less OOC'ness in your writing.

 (OOC = Out of Character)

 In my case, I chose to focus the story around the developing relationship between MC and Zen (slow, SLOW romance) and his route is not nearly enough to establish the complexity of his char and the dynamics he has with the other members. For example, if I’d have stuck with just his route and had not gone through them all, then I’d probably DISLIKE Jaehee quite a lot and confuse her with a jealous fan/girlfriend and not realize the level of rudeness Zen can have against Jumin - even without being provoked. Zen really doesn’t like being around Jumin, always seeing him in a bad light. Like, I love this handsome actor, but sometimes he can be a big jerk. 

 A major plus is if you manage to get the call cards, in order to reach out to the RFA members – extra content is given there too. ^^

 2) Research is vital because it can help you better understand the complexity of the character. Not only the events in the game, but real life situations too. 

Research a bit about Korean lifestyle !!!

You can find a lot of subtle things you might have missed - or unsubtle ones. 

 a) In Zen’s route, you’ll realize that Jaehee is actually looking up to his wellbeing and trying to protect the actor from career-ending scandals. Jealousy is not the issue. Jaehee doesn’t hate the MC, but is weary of her intentions of dating Zen because it can ruin his dream if the relationship comes into the spotlight.

In Korea, celebrities dating can become a huge, huge PR disaster if handled poorly. Career ending even, to the point even idol groups can disband over one such scandal and you ruin not just your own life, but other people as well who depend on this job to survive. Some people train their youth away and have such a moment ruin all they've built...

It's just horrible. 

 b) The boys asking you constantly whether you ate or not is not them thinking you are a dumbass adult who cannot feed yourself and need a protective mother to remind you day, after day. It’s almost mechanically said to you, like how people ask someone “How are you?”, but not necessarily asked out of intense care of your wellbeing. It's just a habit that requires “I’m fine” even if not meant to be true. In the eating case, one usually expects “Yes, I ate.” as answer.

 c) Kimchi is not the only korean food. Try to explore other parts of their cuisine if you are mentioning foods.

 d) I don’t think cereals are that common to eat in the morning there. Like SUPER common. Or waffles. Or peanut butter and jelly on bread. 

... Or bread.

Rice is the equivalent of westerners’ bread in terms of importance in a meal.

 e) Driving can become an 'interesting' experience in Korea. I've seen many Youtubers living in Seoul that point out the chaos on the streets thanks to reckless drivers that rush through traffic like there's no tomorrow.

 So when Zen is out on his motorcycle, people can only become super worried about his safety for a good reason. Especially since he had a nasty accident in the past, it can always repeat itself due to the unsafe conditions on the road sometimes. And humans are squishy beings, so if a car hits you on a bike while you aren't wearing proper outfit protection then... RIP.  

f) and many other.

3) Make sure you got the essence of the plot figured out and pin point any storytelling holes or flaws you may notice within the canon story. 

 It is highly recommended that you note down these observations or questions you may have about what’s going on in this story. You may even use these particular things to help you create the intro of your story. ^o^ 

 Ex: Find a logical reason why MC would so willingly ignore the ‘stranger-danger’ factor at the beginning of the story. ((Daredevil MC? Lulz, sure, you could try this angle, but I’d question how she survived unharmed so far.))

 Or why she has food, water, clothing in an apartment where she is supposedly stranded within, unable to leave. Or...is she unable to leave it?

 Or where are her parents and why is nobody worried about her missing?

 Does she have a workplace? Is she a student at school? Homeless? 

 A lot to interpret ^^

4) Plan your plot points, but don’t overdo it or sob when plans change while writing.

I don’t really plan chapters ahead much, since I tend to change my mind a lot about things. It depends on my mood and emotions. But it is important to set goals for the near future to reach for your story --- like, you may want X event to happen in Day 1 or Y action on Day 2. 

And from these thoughts, you can start sketching situations that can lead your char up to the desired points.

But the road to X or Y can change and not remain static. Heck, even the Y event can happen in another moment of time --- the planning doesn’t have to be a rigid one and must be open to changes, befitting the flow of the story. If an idea you wanted badly to write in a chapter doesn’t seem like it fits in a spot anymore... 

Then, don’t put it in. It’s simple as that.

I personally have over 60 pages worth of content of Night-Owl Romance that are unusable because I kept going in different directions than what I had initially wanted.

Ex: For my story, I really wanted MC to have moments where she’d interact with the RFA outside the messenger. But I still wanted MC to meet up with Zen - officially, make him be the one she meets the first properly. 

 Close-encounters scenarios were fun to add and, at one point, I even wanted MC to see Zen rehearse on stage, without him realizing it was her in the crowd, watching him from the side. Pages about her reactions while seeing Zen on stage were later on discarded. Because I was stuck. It would have caused a nasty rift between them if he was to discover that MC had not bothered to greet him after rehearsals.

 I did not want them to have their first official meeting there.

 But I DID want MC to go to his workplace.

 So I used a trope, to have MC leave the theater without attending the actual rehearsals as a member of the audience, thus the girl remained completely unaware that Zen was working there. And the reason why she did not see him perform was because she would have felt uncomfortable being surrounded by the people in the audience, whom she'd known from her time in University.

 They did not get along.

  5) Try to write characters in a way that doesn't surpass the boundaries of OOC’ness (Your own characters included). To avoid the OOCD (Out of Character Disease), try to make notes about the chars you will write about. Or just keep in mind certain personality traits and you should do fine. In the case of Mystic Messenger, I often use info online about the characters from their data book, wikia, chats etc and create mini summaries about them.

 ...

 Lol, not really creating mini summaries, since I can remember small stuff, here and there, but if you aren't the type to hold up a lot of info and are forgetful about details, you can write them down in order to ease your work.

 Here's an example ^o^:  

  Jumin – uses a lot of formal language. And only when being quite tipsy with wine may he become less rigid in speaking online. Even 'funny', depending on his soured mood caused by the distress he may have with his father and the women he is dating.

Jaehee – also uses formal language, but somehow it seems to me that she drops into informal tones when she goes in her fangirling mode about Zen. Or when she points out why Yoosung cannot find a girlfriend, (Lolz, poor guy) Or when she points out things she finds wrong about Luciel (name included)

Yoosung – uses a lot of informal language.

He is traumatized by the loss of Rika, but not to the point he can't go a second without mentioning her to the MC. ^^;;; I think some fanfics can tone it down with the Rika, and just write glimpses from time to time. Like, if MC is really hardworking, he may do some parallels and notice similarities – at the same time, acknowledge the differences. For example:

Rika seemed like a serene, wise being, almost like an idol for Yoosung.

MC in Yoosung's route seems a bit more... grounded. Like he doesn't put MC on such a steep pedestal.

 Zen – also, more on the informal spectrum of speech, unless he is talking to directors, producers etc.

 His narcissism stems from the fact that he wants to be acknowledged by the world and recognizes that he has the potential to be seen and reach greatness in his craft. At the same time, this has become a double edged blade for the actor, since many ppl offer him work that rely on his looks more than skills. Or people like to shove away all his hardwork and point out how he could never had achieved this without his good looks and body.

 Basically, his skills are overshadowed by his handsome features a lot of time.

 Which is why he doesn't like modeling jobs very much, or that was the impression he gave. When a folklore group wanted him to wear a hanbok for a shooting, Zen refused. When Jumin offers him money for contracts that make good use of his looks, rather than talent – he refuses.

His route's deep flaw: he falls in love too easily with the MC.

Realistically, if MC was a despicable human, Zen would be trapped in a hurtful relationship if she were a manipulative ****. Which shows how lonely and desperate for companionship he truly is at times – 5 years without having someone to share his life with, must be difficult.

   707/Luciel – first impression: he is bat-shit crazy, but in a fun way. Cosplayer, so must be good with costumes and make-up. Perfect Trap, who makes people question their gender preferences.  (Lolz, I can imagine this to be so true).

 He probably had to learn to go undercover as both throughout his days as a secret agent.

 His speech is informal and secretly-mocking, especially when he's talking this way towards his superiors. Really, in Korean culture, if you speak informally to someone higher ranking than you at your workplace and you aren't necessarily best of buddies --- you are branded as a rude ass **** and can even lose your job. And the potential to find other jobs if you pissed off the wrong people.

 So, 707 plays with a lot of fire and knows he is THAT important to his organization – it's enough to have them accept his flaws.

 -  second impression: Saeyoung: Well, the funny guy was just a persona he uses to mask his deeper, , hurt and raw self. But that doesn't mean the funny, quirky personality was all just a lie, even if he tries to tell MC this in his own route – more, to me it seems like 707 is the person he wished he could be day, after day. And not the secret agent who may have killed people in the past or helped his organization in missions to achieve such cruel things.

 We can only imagine these things ^^

 Serious Saeyoung seems more formal in speech, compared to his 707 persona.

 - third impression: I think that after the story unfolds with the whole Saeran thing, who is back into Saeyoung's life, the red head's personality becomes a mixture of both with the fall of his organization. He still has quirky, crazy moments, but is more freely expressing himself. Especially with MC, adding jokes here and there when he is in lovey-dovey moments.

 V – is incredibly formal and super respectful, more so than Jumin, to the point he overly apologizes for things he had no control over, but considers himself to be solely to blame. ;=;

 6) Don’t be afraid to give your characters flaws. Keep a balance of skills vs. flaws and try to stick to it in a realistic manner. (Of course, there's always room to improve one's flaw or skills, but – same thing – keep it realistic)

 Also, canon characters aren't superheroes – Mystic Messenger ones aren't superheroes, they are humans with their own limitations. Don't give them God-mode unless you do it in LOLOL.

  7) It's OK to imagine your own reactions regarding certain situations in life and write them down from the perspective of your char. If it fits.

 Same thing when writing happy scenes or emotionally sad ones – if your mood reflects the vibe of the story you wish to convey, you can portray it better. This, however, doesn't mean u can't write a sob story when your life is all sunshine and rainbows.

 This is why humans have imagination ^^

 Just picture how you felt when hearing saddening news or when you had a moment you were not feeling cheerful. Step in your characters' shoes and imagine how you'd have felt in her/his situation.

  I also change my music playlist if I cannot write a certain feeling down – it usually improves it. ^^

 8) Don't worry about choosing a title/chapter names. 

You’ll come up with one as you start planning the plot you wish to pursue in your story. Sure, a catchy title can make people wanna start reading your fic, but if your story is boring and goes nowhere, then don’t expect much feedback even if your title and story summary are engaging and make people curious. (I should listen to this advice too TwT)

For example: In my MysMe story, Zen x MC pairing, I wanted most of their chats and conversations to take place during nighttime. Or, at least the ones where they bond more closely together.

And what do you call insomniacs who cannot sleep at night? Night-owls.

What do I want to happen between Zen and MC? Romance.

Story title: Night-Owl Romance (ikr, very creative, but it's a decent title. TwT)

And the same mindset I have with chapter names too. I see what is dominant there and then try to summarize it in a title. Sometimes it fits, other times it's just weird.

Also, my Insomniacs, Insomniacs Second, Insomniacs Third etc --- i choose these titles for certain chapters from my fic in order to help me remember what Day is in the story. ^^;;;;; Needless to say, I needed a better system since I mixed up the days LOL.

 9) I love cliffhangers. You should as well. OwO

Cliffhangers are basically a device that fanfic writers use in order to make sure that their engaging audience keeps being curious about the following chapters and want to find more. Feed in their addiction to know what will happen and if the outcome will go to their imagination.

ACK!!! Is everything going to be ok??? 8D!!!

But, also, try not to be sadists with your cliffhangers.

 10) Synonyms are your friends. So are linking words (connectors). So are online dictionaries. And spell check.

Example:  but – however, yet, nonetheless, nevertheless, still, though, although.

Already you can stop using all these but(t)s in your writing by just replacing the over usage of one word with a similar one. Every time you see a word being repetitive to the max in a text that's not even 2000 words long, you should really, REALLY check whether it has a synonym or not. Because it can become quite tiresome to read after a while.

I personally use thefreedictionary website.

11) Don't over explain things in your writing (like I do)

Try to alternate between dialogue and texts as much as you can. Offer variety. Try to stay relevant and not stray far away from the plot points you wish to achieve by including 32432464 scenes and scenarios that might make readers forget what you wanted to do/achieve in the first place. Or else, you may end up with a chaotic storyline that doesn't seem to have any clear steering.

 12) Try to write chapters in advance!!!

I find this step to be very, very important.

You should aim to have written chapters ahead of posting schedule (at least 2-3), in order to observe whether your idea has a place to grow from there onwards or you might hit a nasty dead end with the proposed scenario. If you end up in a point in your story where you are nearly convinced that you need to rethink the direction your plot goes, perhaps finding a better solution on the way... it's much better to have a 'backup' in chapters and not having instantly published everything you had done.

Like I pointed out earlier, I have over 60 pages of written content for my fanfic that are unusable. Because I ended up not going on certain routes and changed directions "off-camera", which could not have been possible so easily had I just posted chapters as I finish writing them.

But hey, this is just how I do it. :D

 13) Sorry to say this, but your first ever written fanfic will SUCK for sure, especially if you started as a kid.

I'm not trying to piss anyone off by mentioning this so harshly or discourage any potential writers. ^^ But, if writing, in general, is not a hobby of yours or if you don't have any affinity to it prior to starting planning a story (like role playing with friends/groups), then expect lots of criticism to pour down your story, many which may point out your writing mistakes.

It can be awful... TwT

But really, you can't be a pro at it from the beginning and you need to understand that there is a step one you need to take in a long, long journey in writing. Heck, I'm not even a pro myself and my skills are relatively decent.

Seriously.

Guys and Girls.

DON'T BE DISCOURAAAAAGED~!!!! <3

Just, write to your heart's content and try to always perfect yourself. ^^ Keep an open mindset and appreciate those people who comment on your work, who try to offer you constructive criticism and feedback.

You'll know when that person is doing it with good intentions.

Don't be upset or angry at people pointing out the faults they see in your story. You're not baby Tolkien. Sometimes, you don't even realize it's something you need to work on to improve. ((For example: in my Night-Owl Romance, someone pointed out to me that I was using ellipses far too often and, at first, I did not think it was the case until I re-read the text and realized... oops, yeah. I kind of over did it. And then, I tried using them less frequently.))

Bonus PearlCrysta Trivia: I started writing fanfiction after my school ex-friend stopped RP-ing with me frequently, so basically, I was probably... 13-14 years old when I started doing it. Quizilla was the monster site with fics and tests I would do daily during my summer holidays (do you guys remember that site? X'D I still do lol.)

At the time, I was super into Yu-Gi-Oh that I needed to write a romance between my god-mode OC and Marik/Malik Ishtar.

Now, I am 25 and I cannot find the power to read my story from scratch ever again.

...

The level of cringiness will make even 707 shudder.

 See guys?

SEE?!!

Yeah, I know what I'm saying when I say that your fanfic will suck.

But there's a remedy for it. OwO

 14) Practice makes it perfect. ^^ (10 years+ with obvious breaks in between) 

And this isn’t everything. Some are snippets, others have over 300 pages.

15) Reading enriches your vocabulary! 

And by reading, I mean reading literature books or whatever tickles your senses. But has to be of quality. And keep that dictionary close by in case u meet expressions or words you do not understand. 

[blatherkatt]

Title: The Calm Is Terrifying When The Storm Is All You Know [Homestuck]

Chapter 13: Two Months Slip By 

Summary: There were two kinds of trolls who went to Earth: rich shitheads with too much money and free time, and desperate assholes who couldn’t survive on Alternia, even with the best efforts of the young Condesce. Karkat hated the planet almost immediately, but with his home planet too dangerous for mutants, he really didn’t have any choice but to hide out on this weird little diurnal planet. At least he’d be safe. Or so he thought, right before blundering his way into an accidental friendship with the son of an anti-troll terrorist.

Rating: M

Chapter Warnings: Mentions of abuse and neglect, blood (minor), Dave has a lot of scars on his arms that are not from self harm but i wanna warn ppl anyway, substance (alcohol) abuse, (drunken) mentions of war and death, description of Alternian bigotry; Illustrated 

FIRST | PREVIOUS | NEXT

Slowly, uncomfortably, with the grace of a cat forcing itself into a too-small box, routine settled in. Time passed.

The routine was simple enough: Five out of seven days of the week, Dirk, Rose, and Rachel would be away most of the day. Dirk would drive Rose to school and drop Rachel off…somewhere; no one but Rachel herself seemed to know what Rachel actually did in terms of a job. Rose, acting on Roxy’s advice, gave Dave a bit more space, which he mostly used to continue holing himself away. Still, he began showing up and joining the rest of the family for dinner, most nights, albeit saying very little. After school, Rose would talk with Kanaya. Karkat usually tried to spend time with Dave during the day when the rest of the family was absent, sometimes with Kanaya tagging along.

Dirk and Rose switched between dealing with dinner, and often Dirk would just pick something up on the way home. One night, somehow, the conversation drifted to the invasion. Rachel, hitting the wine a bit heavy, had started talking about The Good Old Days, making both the trolls visibly uncomfortable, but Rose was too curious to tell her to stop, and Dirk could rarely bring himself to be harsh with his mother when she got like this. She was lonely, he knew, and it was hard to hold it against her. Even when she started talking about Derek.

“He wasn’t always such a…he wasn’t always so bad,” Mom cut in. “I mean, he was always pretty intense, yeah, but he was, he was good once, he could be sweet and he cared, and…”

“Okay, sure,” Rose said, the disbelief in his voice matching Dirk’s own private thoughts on the matter. “I believe that about as much as I believe you used to be considered frightening.”

“More ’n frightening, Rosie,” said Mom, with a grin. “I was a fucking terror. Used to — they used to all gossip, ‘bout that Rachel Lalonde, how she’d kill you before you even knew what hit ya, just, bam, dead!  That was my job, picking ‘em off from a distance, and I’d sometimes have ‘em so scared that all you could see of ‘em was the big horns pokin’ out behind whatever cover they could find.”

Karkat gulped. Mom sighed and leaned back, swirling her glass. “Ramona had her own way of dealing with ‘em, but she scares just about everyone, enemy or not, and of course Derek’d be leading the charge for everyone fighting up close, with Benji always right on his heels.”

Dave coughed. Dirk flicked his eyes over, but Dave quickly recovered after taking a sip of apple juice.

“We had a system,” Mom went on. “Me and Ramona and Derek were young, but everyone we’d managed to get together in that mall trusted us to take charge, because we were good at it, and we only had a few people die during that whole six years. We were quite the little oddball family, we were…”  Mom chuckled humorously, looking at the dark red wine in her glass with a heaviness in her eyes. “Would y’look at me,” she said, “nostalgic over a damn war.”

Dave shifted again.

“Why?” Karkat said, breaking through his own obvious discomfort at the topic. “It sounded like the fighting was fucking awful!”

“It was,” Rachel sighed. “But…but we were a family, the four of us.” She snorted slightly. “Well, five if you count Ben, I guess. We all lost our parents, although I never did get the story behind what happened to the Strider boys’ folks, they never talked about it, but. We were all kids — well, Ramona was more of an adult, and she already had Roxy, but still — we, we all had each other, and we were doing okay, even if it was a war. And then…and then, and then, just.” She took a sip of her wine. “Then poor Dave died, and with him gone, everything fell apart…”

“Um,” said Kanaya.

“Wait, what?” said Karkat.

“Okay, Mom,” Dirk said, “I think you’ve probably had enough wine for tonight.”

Rose was about to add her own comment, when Dave spoke up. “She isn’t talking about me,” he said, softly. Mom shook her head.

“Nooo, not you, baby,” she said. “Derek’s li’l bro, he was named Dave. We named you after him.” She blinked, then looked at Dave. “You know about him?” she said. Dave nodded.

“B-uh, I mean Br-fuck, Dad talked about him sometimes when he was drunk, yeah,” Dave said. Dirk narrowed his eyes. Something about the way he stumbled across that sentence felt like he wasn’t getting the full story, but for now Dirk let it slide. Roxy’d said to be patient, so he’d wait for the rest to come out when Dave was ready.

Instead, he turned to Mom. “We have an uncle?”

“Had,” she said, rubbing at one eye as though fighting back tears. “Had, sweetheart. I never - I don’t talk about him, I know, I’m sorry, I shoulda mentioned him before…he was…he was such a good kid, he didn’t deserve what happened to him at all, and he died and…ugh.”

She took another long sip of wine. “When I was about three months pregnant with you two,” she said, gesturing at Dave and Rose, “s’ when it happened. And…and poor Derek, he was never the same after, he wouldn’t let me in anymore, and, and I don’t know what I did wrong, nevermind if he loved me or not, I couldn’t even get through to him as a friend afterward. And when you two were born, and one of you was a boy, I thought, I, well, might as well name one after Dave, maybe help save his memory? Maybe it was a bad idea, Derek went real quiet when I suggested it, I don’t know…”

“What the fuck is an uncle,” Karkat whispered to Kanaya, a bit too loud. Dave snorted quietly.

Rose tapped her fingers gently against her leg. “Why haven’t you mentioned him to us before now?”

“I don’t like thinking about him, honey,” Mom whined. “It makes me — it’s so sad, he was such a— he was such a good friend, and he did so much to help us all out in the mall, and he didn’t, he didn’t deserve what happened to him at all.” She was actively weeping, now, tears cutting messy trails through her makeup and landing in her wine glass.

“I really think you’ve had enough to drink, Mom,” Dirk said, as gentle as he could manage.

“There’s not enough booze in the world to drown all my sorrows, hun,” was her reply.

“And now you know what I mean when I say I’m all Bro’s got,” Dave said.

He’d just finished answering some questions Karkat had had regarding the ‘uncle,’ Dave’s namesake. Rachel’s story had been…hard to follow. Karkat still felt pretty fucking strongly that Strider didn’t deserve Dave by a long shot, but he guessed he could kind of understand why Dave felt like he had to stay. It was a shitty reason, sure, but guilt was a bitch like that.

“I still think it’s a pretty dumb thing to say,” Karkat grumbled, “and you really don’t fucking owe anything to some asshole who got himself killed before you were born, but whatever, sure, fine, you’ve got some weird obligation because family. He’s got that other guy, though, doesn’t he?”

Dave snickered, catching Karkat by surprise. “Yeah, I can’t believe his full name’s fucking— uh, shit, nevermind, forget I said anything,” he said, hurriedly.

“No, what? Where were you going with that?”

“Nowhere, man, it was stupid, don’t worry about it. C’mon, man, lemme have some fuckin’ secrets. Fuck knows you’re private as hell, you don’t get to read my diary and keep yours under lock in Fort goddamned Knox. Gotta at least let me catch a peek if you wanna know anything else.”

“Fine,” Karkat said, sitting down cross-legged with a grunt. They were in Karkat’s room, Dave laying on the floor with his legs awkwardly propped up on the bed. He looked fucking ridiculous, especially when he tried to twist to look at Karkat.

“What?”

“Fine, as in fair trade you fucking imbecile,” said Karkat. “Go on, ask me a question from my weird human diary, whatever the fuck that is. Go on, hit me.”

(No, pump biscuit, this was not a pale thing, shut up. It was some sort of weird human diary swapping ritual, or something. Nothing pale about it. Besides, Dave had sort of revealed that whole thing about getting caught with his phone a while before, and Karkat still felt sort of weird about the one-sidedness.)

“Well, uh…shit, okay, been wondering this for a while. I know you’re like, a space refugee and shit, but I don’t really get why, so. There’s my question, I guess, why’d you come to Earth?”

Karkat took a deep breath. Okay, he should’ve seen that coming. He could probably back out, right? He could just say that wasn’t something he wanted to talk about?

Except, Dave had opened up to him before, and it was obvious he wouldn’t open up to anyone else. And…Okay, yeah, maybe he did have a very slight pale crush, and if Dave was so determined to pale flirt with him, then so be it.

He took a long, thoughtful pause, before finally asking, “How much do you actually know about the hemospectrum?”

Dave tipped his head. “Are you leadin’ up to something, or are you tryin’ to change the subject? Cuz if you don’t wanna answer, man, you can just fuckin’ say so—“

“Dave, if you really haven’t realized by now that if I wanted you to stop asking, I would have told you to shove it up your waste chute, then you haven’t been paying attention. Trust me, I’m asking because it’s relevant.”

“A’ight.” Dave shifted. “Uh, hemospectrum, lemme think…it sure is a thing that fuckin’ exists.” Karkat groaned. “I know it’s about your blood, right?” Dave continued. “How it’s all in weird colors and some of y’all are really weird about it?”

“It’s not just a ‘weird thing,’ you culturally insensitive ignoramus,” Karkat said gently. “It’s everything on our planet. Your blood color has everything to do with who you can be, not to mention how long you’ll live and what you’re capable of. Different colors tend to have different abilities, psychic powers and so on, and the higher on the hemospectrum you are, the longer you’ll live and the better off you are in society. At the bottom are rust bloods, and at the top are the super rare fuschia bloods, who compete for the position of Emperor or Empress. Usually Empress, honestly. I’ve never heard of us having an Emperor.”

“Okay, and?”

“And under the old Condesce, culling was really common and the spectrum was super harshly fucking enforced. Highbloods could kill lowbloods with no punishment, and anyone who was deemed too weak could just be taken out, end of discussion. And then the new Empress took over, and started making changes. They’ve been implemented slowly, which is probably good, but it’s clear she was always intending on moving this way. No more culling, highbloods have to treat lowbloods with more respect, those who are better off should try to help those who need it, and so on and so forth.”

“That…that sounds pretty decent,” Dave said. “So, wait, then, if the new head honcho’s doin’ tryin’ to set things right, why are so many trolls running away from Alternia?”

“Because a lot of the highbloods there are really not fucking happy about these new changes.”

“Oh, shit.”

“Yeah. They’re taking things into their own hands, claiming the Empress is weak and seeking out ‘cull-bait’ themselves. The Empress is doing everything she can to stop them, but it’s a really big fucking planet, and there’s a lot of highbloods and even some midbloods who are doing this shit. She hasn’t been able to catch all of them. And even the ones who aren’t actively hunting lowbloods and cullbait, they’re just as awful to those people as they’ve always been. You have to understand, Dave,” Karkat said, his eyes serious, “highbloods live a really long fucking time. A ton of these bastards have been around way longer than the oldest lowblood, and they’re not willing to change. So, yeah, Alternia’s been getting better, but at the same time it’s also gotten a lot worse, because it’s so dangerous and so many other people in power besides the Empress just don’t care enough to enforce any of her reforms. She’s doing all she can, but it’s too dangerous.”

Dave was silent a long moment. “So…where do you fit into all that mess?” he asked. “Are you a, uh, a rustblood?”

Karkat snorted. “Wouldn’t that be nice,” he grumbled. “I’m…Look, this doesn’t leave this room, right? It’s just between us?”

“Shit, yeah, man,” Dave said. “I figured that went without saying. I mean, this conversation’s gotten absurdly fucking personal, and you didn’t go blab my fuckin’ sob story about Bro breakin’ my phone to anyone, so I figured we had a kinda understanding about this shit anyway? But yeah, sure, my lips are sealed.”

“Okay,” Karkat said. He took a deep breath, let it out slowly, and tried his best to steel his nerves. “I’m a mutant, Dave.” Dave tilted his head, but said nothing, waiting for a better explanation. “I’m not on the hemospectrum. My blood’s the same color as you humans’, apparently, which was fucking surreal to find out about.” Dave nodded, started to say something, then thought better of it, and let Karkat continue. “I’m not supposed to fucking exist. I’m the most pathetic of cullbait out there, might as well have a ‘Kill Me’ sign flashing over my head in giant, flashing neon letters for all to see.

“And what’s worse is my eyes are starting to change. Like, you thought I was a rustblood, and for now I can still hide as one, but eventually they’re going to be bright ass red, same as yours, and when that happens I’m royally fucked. I’ve been hiding basically my entire life, sitting in my hive practicing hiding whenever anyone looking to be in a particularly bad mood came by, because for all my bluster about being a big tough guy, the fact is I’m not much of a fighter. Not when I’m up against foes five times my sides with optional chucklevoodoos or mind control. Hiding’s the only chance I had, and…and in the end, that wasn’t enough, because some asshole in my neighborhood tipped off our local cullbait hunters that there was a hemoanon in the area, and they were sniffing around and getting too close to my hive, and I had to tuck my tail firmly between my legs and retreat, snivvelling and grovelling, to Earth, because all my friends had already come here and they couldn’t protect me.”

“Holy shit,” Dave said softly. “Dude, holy shit.”

“And the worst part,” Karkat said, “The worst part is that as much as I hated always having to hide and how cruel all the people there were, I…I miss it? I mean, it was awful, I know that, I know that Earth’s an objectively better place and I’m way safer here even if I did get grubnapped by a terrorist, but —“

“But it was home,” Dave said.

“Yeah. That’s a weird word for it, but yeah.”

Dave shifted a little closer, not touching Karkat at all but now sitting upright next to him. Silence filled the space for a long moment.

At long last, he said, “We really are just two assholes in the same sinking ship, aren’t we? Got our leaky-ass bowls and empty cans out, scooping and bailing away, but this shitty boat’s goin’ nowhere but down, and I ain’t brought my floaties.”

Karkat snorted. “You really do have some bizarre ramble for every occasion, don’t you?”

Dave grinned.

For all her disdain over the alien who seemed to know her brother better than she did, Rose would concede one good thing about this whole messy process of familial integration: Kanaya was a fascinating conversation partner. She had a lot to say about her job, about her own life on Alternia, and in particular about Aunt Ramona’s books. Rose took to speaking to Kanaya on a fairly regular basis, often settling in to do so as soon as she got home from school (homework could wait until later; she had a guest, after all!).

“—and I am still adjusting to some of the differences between our rainbow drinkers and your vampires,” said Kanaya one day, while they discussed one of Aunt Ramona’s books which Kanaya had particularly enjoyed. “Particularly the difficulty with daylight, as on our world, it’s quite the opposite. Rainbow drinkers are said to be very fond of daylight, and indeed to be quite luminescent!”

“I suppose their being diurnal makes sense, since trolls are nocturnal,” Rose commented, “but, luminescent, really? I suppose they’d have to hunt in the day in order to not be spotted by prey if they’re literally glowing.”

“Well, some stories show them being able to turn it off,” said Kanaya. “Still, the occasional bout of confusion aside, I did really enjoy Fangs for the Memories. I was a bit uncertain, at first, with how Sinestra was being a bit manipulative to keep Alicia doing her job, but it did come out to a very fitting conclusion, I thought.”

“Vampires being manipulative is fairly standard fare in literature concerning them,” said Rose. “They have some aspects of their portrayal in common with the Fair Folk, although they’re hardly a creature you’d expect to see in such places as those inhabited by the Lords and the Ladies.”

“I have noticed that,” said Kanaya. “It seems we have tricksters in common, but such beings seem to be more common in your folklore, whereas on Alternia those who win by wit rather than by skill and natural power and wisdom tend to be geared more toward children,” she said with a wince. “They’re generally regarded as escapist fiction, but it seems you humans love it at all ages.”

“Well, it’s only natural for a species that survived on wits to have such a fondness for the witty,” Rose said.

“I’m glad of it,” said Kanaya. “Although I am a bit confused about how Alicia supposedly outwitted Sinestra just by hiding within her own home? The door wasn’t even locked, and the book mentioned many times how Sinestra is very physically strong, and yet she couldn’t come inside?”

“She wasn’t invited,” Rose said. “That’s another bit of folklore that vampires share with the Fair Folk. It ultimately boils down to both being very closely adherent to following rules, which means that a vampire cannot enter a building they have not been invited into. There are of course dozens of loopholes they can use, but none were available to Sinestra, and so she was forced to wait out in the rain, until she sincerely apologized for that whole mess with the werewolf. Quite a fair bit of retribution, I’d say, as well as a nice shifting of the power dynamics.”

“That’s an odd weakness to have.”

“Oh, there’s all sorts of mythology we have about inviting things in,” said Rose. “Vampires, fairies, the devil. In more xenophobic tales, you have the dangers of offering hospitality to dark forces we cannot understand, trying only to be kind, and being rewarded with death or worse for our foolishness. Yet, to add confusion, other stories warn against failing to offer hospitality, and being punished for crossing beings which could so easily destroy us. Still others caution against taking shelter under the wing, sometimes literally, of a being that could destroy us. “Will you walk into my parlor,” said the spider to the fly,’ and all that.”

“That sounds like a fantastic way for the fly to get itself eaten alive,” said Kanaya.

“Too right,” said Rose, “And the fly knows it. But the spider is charming, he acts sweet and offers her flattery and gifts, and she is drawn in…and inevitably eaten. Charmingly dark little poem, that one.”

“I fear I can relate to the poor fly,” Kanaya winced. “I’ve had my fair share of mistakes in that regard…Still, what an odd thing to have so many stories based on.”

“What can I say? We’re a curious lot,” Rose said.

“Curious?”

Rose scooted slightly closer to Kanaya, and winked gently as she added, “There’s something so deeply intriguing to the thought of inviting some strange, mysterious being from worlds unknown into your home. The danger only makes it more…exciting.”

Kanaya blushed slightly, and gulped. “Yes, well,” she said, smoothing the wrinkles on her skirt, “I suppose, that’s, um…Hm. Didn’t you just finish telling me a human story about how flattery is to be regarded with caution? I’m not the one in a stranger’s house, here.”

Rose chuckled. “‘Sweet creature,’” she quoted, “‘You’re witty and you’re wise!’ And just as dangerous to me as I might be to you, I would think. You may have come into my parlor, but it’s still we who have asked in a mysterious stranger from worlds unknown. And a very lovely one, no less.”

“I don’t know whether to be charmed or terrified,” said Kanaya, coy.

“I’d say —“ Something crashed in the basement, interrupting Rose and bringing a scowl to her face. “God dammit, Dirk,” she muttered. “We may have to finish this tomorrow, I’m afraid. I need to make sure my dear brother hasn’t blown one of his robots and/or himself to smithereens.”

“Oh, dear,” said Kanaya. “Best of luck, then. I’d be glad to chat again any time, so long as you promise not to trap me in any spider’s web,” she said with a smile.

Rose smiled back and winked.

It was a little over halfway through May, Dirk was driving himself and Rose home from school on what was his last day of the semester (Rose still had another week), and he was fucking exhausted. Three hour finals were an absolutely monstrous concept. As soon as he got home, he was going to collapse on his bed downstairs and sleep like the fucking dead.

That plan was, to his irritation, derailed as they pulled up on the gravel driveway to the sight of Dave on the roof. He was looking at Karkat, who was standing below and shouting up at him. Kanaya was standing near Karkat, with her head cradled in one hand.

“Just do that fucking bullshit flicker thing already!”

“Not with my — ow, Jesus, you fucking furball, I’m trying to — my arms are full of angry animal here, Karkat, I’m not going to risk breaking my fucking LEGS, Jesus Christ he fucking bit me, ow ow ow, fuck!” Dave shouted back. “Just — motherfuck, ow ow ow, just go dig a goddamned ladder out of the garage or something! Preferably before Dirk getsssssshit he’s home, fuck, fuck, fuck ow goddamned cat —!!”

Dirk, halfway out the car door, exchanged an exhausted look with Rose. She shot him a look of mixed amusement and sympathy.

Dirk sighed and closed the car door behind him, Rose following close behind as he strode toward the trolls. He gestured up at Dave, his eyebrow crooked in a question.

“Jaspers apparently got himself trapped on the roof,” Kanaya explained, as Karkat continued shouting at Dave, who had gone quiet. “Dave somehow got himself onto the roof to rescue him, except apparently Dave is now also trapped up there.”

“He says he can’t do the fucking flickery teleport thing —“

“Flashstep,” Dirk said, interrupting Karkat.

“Whatever, fine. He can’t flashstep because the cat keeps attacking him?” Karkat said, incredulously. The statement was highlighted by another yelp from Dave.

“Makes sense,” Dirk said. “It’s not really teleporting, just moving really fast. You gotta be really careful about how you do it between different elevations, and it’s asking for trouble to attempt a jump from that height with both hands full. Especially if what you’re holding is being really distracting.”

“Should we get the ladder out, then?” Rose commented dryly. “I’m sure you could handle it, but you are so tired, after all.”

Dirk didn’t let himself react to the barbed comment. “I can handle it,” he said. There was a tree near the wall by Dave; it was an easy matter to use it and the wall to bounce up to the roof. Three quick flashsteps and he was next to his brother, who reacted with a jolt.

There was blood visible dripping down his hands and seeping through his shirt sleeves. Cat really had done a number on him, then. Dirk sighed, too tired to fully register the way the soft breath made Dave stiffen, and took the cat from him. Jaspers, upon realizing he was no longer being held by Dave, but instead a human he considered more trustworthy, settled down and let Dirk carefully shift him to his shoulder.

“Meet me in the kitchen,” Dirk said, before carefully flashstepping down the same way he’d gotten up. Back on the ground, he handed the cat off to his sister, who cradled the animal, stroking his fur soothingly. Dave, after a moment’s hesitation, turned around, stepped backward off the roof (eliciting a shocked gasp from Kanaya and a worried yelp from Karkat), easily caught the windowsill leading into his own room on the way down, and pulled himself in.

Dirk hurried into the house, making a beeline for the hall bathroom. He’d need the first aid kit, for sure; Dave’s arms had gotten pretty beat up, from the look of things. He arrived in the kitchen just as Dave came silently down the stairs. Dave was fidgeting, shifting his weight from foot to foot and clenching and unclenching his hands.

“I never left the house,” he said, quietly. “I’m—I’m sorry for being up there, but I didn’t leave the house, I swear, I got up there from my window, and, the cat wouldn’t stop meowing and I felt bad for him, and —“

“Good,” said Dirk, quietly, “I’m glad you never left the house. That’s not really important right now, though. Let me see your arms.”

“…Am I in trouble?”

“For trying to get the cat off the roof? Of course not,” Dirk said. “Give me your arm, though. Gotta get it cleaned off. Cat scratches have a nasty tendency of getting infected.”

“Oh,” said Dave, “fan-fucking-tastic.” He still hesitated a long moment before holding his right arm out; Dirk took him by the wrist and gently pulled him toward the sink (and couldn’t help but notice the white scars crisscrossing his skin underneath the fresh wounds, nor could he ignore how worryingly thin Dave’s arm seemed. Dirk had to take a deep breath to force down the rush of anger toward their father to keep focused on the task at hand). He ran a cloth under the water for a moment, then carefully wiped the blood away from Dave’s wounds. They weren’t as bad as they’d looked on the roof, but Jaspers had definitely done a number on Dave. As gently as he could manage, Dirk toweled off Dave’s arm, and reached for the bottle of disinfectant.

“This is gonna sting a little,” Dirk murmured, dabbing the disinfectant on one of the wounds. Dave nearly jerked his arm out of Dirk’s grasp. “Sorry. I’ll be fast,” Dirk promised, and Dave nodded numbly.  Cleaning finally done, Dirk started bandaging each scratch (and the one bite on Dave’s wrist).

“Really keep an eye on that one,” he said, gesturing at the bite. “Bites are even worse when it comes to cats, you can’t be too careful.”

Dave nodded mutely. Dirk was vaguely aware that the others had come in, and that Karkat watching him with an odd expression. He paid the troll no mind.

Dirk inspected Dave’s arm one last time, and, satisfied, said, “Other one,” releasing Dave’s wrist.

Dave hesitated even longer this time, and his hand shook a little as he offered it. When Dirk grabbed his left wrist, Dave flinched away hard.

“Hey, you okay?” Dirk asked, concerned.

“Y-yeah,” Dave mumbled. “Sorry, it’s, uh, reflex.” He offered his arm again, and Dirk tried holding it a little higher up this time.

As he was cleaning off and bandaging the wounds, Dirk noticed a particularly bizarre looking scar running up Dave’s left wrist; it had marks like the wound had been stitched shut, but they were messy, haphazard, and the skin all around it looked…off. Pinched and warped in a way that looked uncomfortable. Dirk nodded his head toward it.

“The hell happened with that?” he asked.

“Um,” Dave mumbled, “Got caught off guard once, and my hand got cut, and, uh. I wouldn’t stop bitching about it, ‘cuz I was worried about losing my drawin’ hand, an’ shit, so Br- fuck, uh, Dad called in a buddy of his who stitched it up. It took a really long time to heal, even stitched up, and, uh.” He shrugged. “I still can’t use it much. Wound up fucking it up worse with stitches, so good job on me for complaining, there’s a self goddamn fulfilling prophecy for you. Can’t hold a fuckin’ pencil with it anymore, or anything smaller’n a sword hilt, really.”

Dirk paused. “…Shit,” he said softly. Then, louder, “Well, when you’re off house arrest, I can talk to Mom about it. There’s no guarantee, but I’d imagine that might be fixable with surgery. Once we can get you into a doctor, it’s worth a shot.”

“….You think so?”

“It’s possible.” He put on the last bandage, then made another once-over. “Alright, that’s the last of them,” he said. “Again, keep an extra eye on the bite, infected cat bites are not something you wanna ignore.”

“……Got it,” Dave said, softly, rubbing at his wrist. “Can I…”

“You can head upstairs if you want. I just wanted to make sure the scratches got cleaned.”

“Thanks,” Dave muttered, and darted upstairs. Karkat, after a long, hard look at Dirk, followed after.

Dave settled into his room after the cat incident, more confused than ever. He’d…really been expecting that to be it. Dirk’s expression taking Jaspers down from the roof had been the one Dave had long since learned to recognize on Bro as the ‘you’re about to get your fucking ass kicked’ face. When he was pissed enough to actually look the slightest bit pissed, that’s when Dave knew he’d crossed the last line, but.

Dirk had said he’d done nothing wrong.

He’d been gentle. What the fuck.

Dave sat on his bed and stared at his arms. He’d been assuming he’d be taking care of the scratches on his own, same as he’d always dealt with his own wounds, that he’d have to figure out where the first aid kit was kept in this house without bleeding everywhere or worst case scenario make do with toilet paper. He’d not been expecting Dirk to call him downstairs not to be punished, but to patch the wounds up.

What the fuck.

Maybe no one here was going to hurt him. Even if he fucked up.

No, that was too optimistic, probably. It was probably just because he hadn’t actually broken any rules. Couldn’t let wishful thinking take him on too many flights of fantasy, or he’d wind up all kinds of fucked. Be off in fuckin’ Narnia while the Witch of the West is happily taking over the big green city, except the city would be Dave’s ass and ‘taking over’ would mean ‘beating the shit out of’.

Still, it was….weird.

(Despite his best efforts to keep himself realistic, a tiny, rebellious spark of hope flared up, warmer than anything he’d felt in a long time.)

[a-lovecraftian-mind]

Who I Could’ve Been

This is going to be absolute word vomit of tangents and incoherent babble. writing stuff down helps someone figure it out, this is what this is. so i get it, this is stupid long, it’s stupid grammar, stupid concept and just downright stupid but this is to help me think.  

 I realised that there was something close to something I had thought about all the time but a part of it i never considered, and I enjoyed the little journey it led me on but since it was a thought process and this is the first time i’m writing it down it’s probably gonna take the same form with tangents and things in the wrong order of remembering something I can add to something from earlier.

This paragraph came from how I keep passing both the academy i went to and the one I could have gone to, they are both getting knocked down, it’s a time for recollection. I love to think about if I was brought up somewhere else or in a different time just how much would change, this is a fairly common fantasy people have. for example not just place but time, in academy I knew plenty of people in my own year group, I knew a fair few in the year above just individually and not their full social circle and I knew one or two in the year below, this is socially of course I still knew of people in each year group just not know them. Anyway it could be conformation bias or just luck of the draw of who I got to know, the year above seemed to be majority of stoners and the like, not just because they were older but all the way from year 1 to year 5 they seemed to have that personality around them the stoner archetype, there was also alot of hard workers like perfect pupils with volunteering and good grades as well as popular, our school was big enough that each year group did have a little bit of each personality types anyway, year above, stoners. Year below there were so many NEDs and chavs, and then my year i suppose is a little harder to point to as i at least knew everyone's name so there is so much to point at one majority as i’m sure in reality if i was in a different year group the same would go, the group i hung around i can only describe as every single one of them went into social studies that was my social group. this all has a big * by it saying after year 3 I never really had a real social group, with less and less each year finally declining into I had this social group, these friends i talked to in school, and then the weekend would come, i’d wait for Monday then i’d get to hear what they got up to on the weekend together. Anyway the whole point of this, again each year group had what i saw as majority archetypes, year up stoners, year down NEDs. If i was a year up or a year down would that change my personality, likely not, yes environment is a big part in social development but as my mum put it when I spoke to her about it “you’ve always been you” I’ve always been the way I am since I was a kid, sure there were some ways I could have developed that would be similar but different, she just didn’t think that if I hung around stoners as I was developing that the way I turned out would be so different. there is another thing to consider though, my friends.

I did say I had a few friends in the year above and I knew a couple of ppl the year below, what if we shifted that up one, my personality might not change but my relationships, my friends, maybe even my teachers we usually had a new teacher every year one in one out. say i’m in year 3 now, if my life changed and it all shifted up one, i’d go from knowing a couple of ppl in year 2, and knowing everyone in year 3 to knowing no one in year 2 and only a couple in year 3, and so  on and so on. so now i know everyone in the year above because I am in the year above, what’s different. Would the people that I was friends with individually but not part of their full social group, would I be, at least in the same way I was with the normal world, hanging out at school till Friday to hear about what they got up to together on Monday. would the person I dated for a short time be in my life more or less, I knew her through a friend in the normal world, would we still find each other, and if we did would not having the obstacle of a single year help, cause in academy a single year seemed to change a lot. I did think more on this but i’m kind of getting bored organising these thoughts, onto the next word vomit to try and make sense of what’s in my head. 

(auto correct really wants to change grandad to granddad i just let it do what it wants in this para) this thought started when I went to visit Helmsdale, I saw a stupidly attractive person there, and my first thought was I have no idea what her name is, if i lived here I would have probably went to school with her she looked my age, i’d at least know her name. My family, my mothers side, is from a small fishing village up north called Helmsdale, and if you ask anyone that talks to me they probably will say i talk about it too much. Every single holiday, every single long weekend even for part of it we would go up to Helmsdale, sometimes we’d go up to go camping or fishing or to at least DO anything, but sometimes we’d go up to just sit around the house as we would normally at home just the difference is there is a mountain out the window as the view not grey buildings. and Helmsdale is the dream for me, in my ideal life i’d get a job that means I have to travel so no matter where I live I can work as it only changes where I start from to travel to work, rather than a commute to work every day, it’s a travel every weekend for a work somewhere else for a while till I return home to Helmsdale. so this place is important to me, but it always was a holiday destination, it wasn’t grandads house I’d visit on the weekend it was a holiday, even tho it was the exact same thing as going to my granddads for the weekend it felt different, like i was out of my element and not home. If I went to my grandad here at home I felt at home, If i went to my granddad in Helmsdale i felt uneasy, the people there were foreign to me, I had one friend and I was too afraid to approach anyone else. every holiday, every long weekend i’d go up there and just relax with family and that’s not bad, the whole point of this is to think what could’ve been. So that’s the real world, what about in the theory world where I lived in Helmsdale born and raised. Like I’d at least know that chicks name, I’d know more than one person there that isin’t family (everyone i know in helmsdale since i was a kid was just introduced as aunts and uncles, i know a few aren’t blood family but I don’t know who is who for sure, either way they are all family) since I don’t know enough people there it’s hard to gauge anything, based on one person I've seen would i trade my life here for there. and then there is my education, i’d either have less or have to travel for it, college and uni. all that said, I look forward to making Helmsdale my holiday destination into my home at some point in my life. 

I even thought about what if i lived in a slightly diffrent area of where i do now, still in the same city but just somewhere else. this thought came when I went to the beach with my mum, we decided to go a little out our ways to go to the sand dunes rather than just the flat beach, seemingly i went there as a kid but i must have been too young to remember. as we were coming home i saw a chip shop with a park behind it, I thought to myself “if i lived here that’s probably where me and my mates would hang out”.  there is more to be said about my academy, like how i had the option to go to a different one that was further away but we had only just recently moved so i knew more friends at the farther away one and it was commutable but i think we covered academy enough there already, the only topic there is like again friends, my first kiss i had in like primary two would we bound over that or something or my childhood friend where we are at the point we can say “hey we should catch up” would me being who i am have messed that up and fought with him, fallen out where now in my adult life i can’t catch up with my childhood friend because i pissed him off. 

Finally, after piling all this together on the ride home from the beach, I was trying to figure this all out to pass the time, i realised something that i never considered, a scenario that never had popped into my head before, and if it had i’d forgotten, either due to me not dwelling on it too long or it being so unimportant. in every single scenario I considered not one did i think about a different family, not even a slight change like my asshole brother not being born. living in helmsdale, being in a different academy, even the times i thought about being born in another country as my friends on the internet. always my family were there and the same every single one of them just as they were no different accent, no diffrent personality due to their environment. I started trying to think and consider this, but i didn’t want to make up a family in my head so i considered how you see  in movies kids get mad at their family and say stuff like “you’re not my real dad” and how my brother likes to think mum ruined his life and if he had another mother his life would be better. I took a page out of their books and tried to think through every single other persons family i knew, not the fake nice you see when you’re a kid and you go round to your mates house. i’m trying to think of people that i was round so much their family couldn’t really keep the nicety up and they didn’t become assholes, just themselves.  I spent so long thinking as hard as i could, and nothing, not a single person stood out. I don’t know if that’s due to most of the peoples family i know well enough to consider them real are kinda shitty in their own right, fathers walking out, abuse, poverty. They all lived and they all were happy but why hadn’t i considered “what if i was this kid and they were my family” once, I started to want to think of a family better than mine, i’m sure there are plenty of opinions out there, but thinking as hard as i could for as long as i could there wasn’t a one. i really wanted to think of someone. it’s hard to explain, i’ll just quote what me and my mum said  mum;”so you think we’re so bad you’re trying to find someone worse” me;”no i’m looking for someone better” i don’t like being mushy so i wanted to be able to agree that i at least couldn’t consider any other family. i started thinking of fictional families, rich and famous. none in every scenario i have in my head of how my life turns outi can’t consider any of them without my full family. i have issues with my dads side of the family, they are alot more NED and cars, a DJ and the like, still wouldn’t trade one of them both when it was just my mind wondering “what if i lived here” they were there and when i started actively thinking “ok what if i had a different family” i could barely consider the thought, it all ended in there is no “if i had a different family” I wish there was a lot different in my life, my family isn’t one of them