#that’s not even hard to look up to make it more realistic Aaaaaaaaaah

[problemeule]

I’m hoping all of you people in my phone know how much I’m restraining myself to not post through my new obsession even more

[pinetasticapple]

A Miraculous Carol chapter 5:

An intermission before the last spirit shows up. Adrien needs an aspirin after all of this.

Also on FF and AO3

Adrien had been taught since he was ten to be calm against adversity and face it head-on. He was collected. Years of modelling, fencing, studying and etiquette had taught him to act under pressure with a firm stand and tranquillity. To not let his emotions run wild. He was poised, calm, controlled.

At least until he came back to his room after a ghostly vision.

"Aaaaaaaaaah" Adrien broke. His mind was a loop of 'Marinette is Ladybug, I found out who Ladybug is, Marinette is Ladybug' over and over until Plagg pinched him hard on the arm "hey!"

"You are freaking out," Plagg deadpanned at him.

"Of course I am! Oh shit, oh shit oh no, no, no" Adrien paced around the room, his hands were ruffling his hair, tugging at it as if that was going to help him. Thoughts were a mix in his head, the ideas tangling and ravelling so fast it was starting to bring him a headache.

"Kid,"

"Shit, fuck, no, this, oh no," Adrien's breath quickened "what am I going to do? What will I do? Oh shit, this is bad; this is very bad."

"Adrien- "

"Plagg cataclysm my memories!" he held the kwami in his hands "or my eyes! Make me forget what I saw!"

"You and I both know that's not going to happen" Plagg squirmed away from Adrien's hands.

"Ladybug is going to murder me, she's going to bury me six feet under and then dance on my grave,"

"You're overreacting,"

"W-wh- excuse me?" Adrien turned at Plagg, his voice a pitch higher than usual "I just figured out Ladybug's sec- "he lowered his voice "secret identity."

"I'm surprised you did, with that oblivious head of yours it was taking forever" Plagg shrugged, prompting Adrien to groan and pace again.

"Pl-agh! That is not the point!" he whispered, his cheeks flushed out of frustration "the point is, she's going to murder me, dispose of me, find another Chat Noir, oh I can't no."

"I doubt it," Plagg said "how did you finally figure it out? Because that was not what you were supposed to see."

Adrien ignored the kwami. Why did he say finally? Was it that obvious that one of his closest friends was also the superheroine and saviour of Paris?

A little voice in his head said yes. He opted to ignore it.

"It doesn't matter now! I know and she doesn't know that I know and oh God when she finds out she's going to be so upset! What if she decides I can't be Chat Noir anymore? What if she decides she can't be Ladybug anymore?!"

"You already said that- "

"I'm thinking too many things Plagg!" Adrien hissed through his teeth "can't process everything!"

He sat on his bed and groaned, his hands covering his face as all realization fell upon him like a ton of bricks. Marinette Dupain-Cheng was Ladybug. He was so full of emotions he didn't know how to process all of them.

He was, of course, excited; the girl he was in love with was someone he already knew! And he meant what he had said all that time ago, he'd love whoever was behind that mask. For her to be Marinette, someone close to him, it was a dream come true! Marinette was so kind and loyal and determined he couldn't help the small part of him growing about her being his companion.

But with that also came embarrassment and confusion. Marinette was goal-driven, compassionate, stubborn and direct. The more he thought about Marinette the more his heart did weird leaps inside him. Were they always there or just now that he figured out who Ladybug was? Not to mention how many times he had said how good of a friend she was. Did he already have feelings for Marinette before? Or were they just popping out because of the realization? They weren't two different people; they were the same. Two halves of a whole and Adrien was still trying to piece them together in his mind.

The shame also came onto him. He had violated a rule, a secret that was not for him to see. Maybe that was not what he was supposed to figure out but alas his brain decided to piece those things together. How was he going to even face her afterwards? Worst case scenario she would renounce the miraculous or he would have to give it up. Not to mention…

"I failed them both at once," Adrien flopped back on his bed "Plagg how am I going to fix this?"

"Which of everything?"

Adrien rolled on his bed. Too many emotions and he still had one more visit to attend to. This explained the lack of balance Felix had mentioned. Marinette had been bullied and ostracized by their classmates, by Lila, that it was also affecting her duties as Ladybug. Adrien felt another emotion coming back to him, the anger at Lila, at his classmates, at himself for what he had let happen.

"I have to…" Adrien stood up "I have to see her; I have to tell her- "

"Wow, wow" Plagg hovered in front of him "look at the time kid, it's four in the morning."

"But,"

"And what are you going to tell her? That you found out who she is? After she had a good healing moment with Adrien not so long ago?"

Adrien bit his thumb. Plagg, no matter how much Adrien hated to admit, was right. There was no point in going right away to see Marinette. He had no plan on how to tell her he knew. And he was not going to let his identity a secret to her unless she asked. But if he did that, Marinette would maybe feel betrayed and hurt. He didn't want that anymore.

He had to tell her of course. But there had to be a right way to do so. Adrien needed a plan.

"Not to mention from your freaking out you aren't so keen on your girlfriend being pigtails."

"She's not my g- "Adrien huffed "and it's not because of that! I, agh!" Adrien rolled on his bed "I'm happy it is her but this is too much!"

"It's not that deep Adrien,"

"It is!" Adrien sat back up "I'm so excited over knowing and guilty about knowing and happy it is Marinette but confused about my feelings now! And I can't go without telling her that I know because there wouldn't be trust anymore but if I tell her we'll have to give up being Ladybug and Chat Noir and I can't let that happen! Marinette is amazing, she cares too much, she is an excellent Ladybug! I can't take that away from her because I decided to put two and two together."

"Ok, maybe it is deep," Plagg hovered in front of him "you are in this deep."

"You think?" Adrien glared at him "I don't know what to do" he plopped back on the bed, exhausted from all the thinking.

He was in a metaphorical between the sword and wall situation. A lose-lose game because there was no way he would be able to hide something so important from Lady-Marinette.

Even now the image of both merging was causing his head and heart to throb.

"No," Adrien punched the mattress and stood up again "no, there has to be a solution to all of this, a way to, to fix everything."

He just had to think. He figured it out on his own, what is to say Marinette did so too? The consequences of them knowing each other identities? Now he understood how important it was for his lady, classmate, to keep it a secret. But Hawkmoth hadn't been able to find out about them and even after all this time no one else had been close to figuring out their identities.

And perhaps, Adrien sighed, they could work this out. Maybe they would be able to create a system for each other, because while Adrien could hide behind extracurricular activities and his overloaded schedule, Marinette didn't have that alibi. The vision of the present –or immediate future but Adrien wasn't going to think about semantics at that time- came back to him. Lila was planting even more seeds of doubt against her. To say Marinette was Hawkmoth's ally? That was so low Adrien wanted to jump right out and tear a new one off the Italian girl.

But that was not going to work, He needed realistic plans.

So, Adrien bit his thumb, if he could nudge Marinette into finding out who he was on her own, that wouldn't be downright telling her. Then again, he would have to be around and be prepared for that blow out that would occur. He would need to, Adrien sighed, do this with his head rather than his heart.

He remembered Heroes' Day, how it had turned out against Chloé since she publicly announced she was Queen Bee. He couldn't tell for sure but had a hunch Carapace and Rena Rouge knew of each other's identities and that had become a problem too that day.

Yes, he was not ashamed of how his emotions ran faster than his thoughts. But this time, he had to play it on the logical side. He would have to listen to all the downsides and then, with the most objective tone possible, bring up the positives of them finally knowing. If it meant to put his feelings on hold for the sake of defeating Hawkmoth, well, he was willing to do it for her.

Besides, she's in love with someone else.

The thought halted his steps. Ladybug had mentioned it. Repeatedly to him. Adrien's heart clenched in his chest, the vision of Luka holding a distressed Marinette popping in his mind. Of course, he had to also remember that part.

"No," Adrien shook his head "use your brain, Adrien, think objectively."

The heartbreak hurt but he had to focus. So long Hawkmoth didn't figure out they knew each other outside of the mask, Adrien thought, that was enough of an advantage. And if they could hang out outside of the mask they could work a way to throw him off their trail because what would two teenagers know about a magic terrorist?

The shift in their dynamic was going to change. The balance was either going to be strengthened or broken. Adrien was a step ahead here but he wanted the board to be even for both of them. He loved Ladybug, Adrien sighed, with that logic he loved Marinette. But the image was still strong in his mind, the processing taking still its sweet time.

"Alright," Adrien shook his hands, buzzing with energy again "Alright, I have a plan."

"You do?"

"I have… a percentage of a plan" he frowned "but it's better than nothing!"

Plagg didn't laugh only because Adrien was beyond his usual composure. But he kept it for later. He knew, oh he knew if the two miraculous holders didn't sort out the reveal about their identities then it would be the end. He trusted pigtails, however, as she was a smart girl. Tikki was fond of her and if she could help talk this through then things were going to turn out for the best.

"Now to find out when would be a perfect time to tell her," Adrien kept muttering "tomorrow, well today I need to take Marinette away from her home, last she needs it for Lila to rub it in her face what she's up to, ugh I should have told her about the picnic," he slammed a fist on his hand, resolve in his posture "it was around noon so I can pop around before it all begins, and I'll be with her if she allows me to…or I could…"

He could call Luka, set him and Marinette up for a date or a hang out at least. He wanted her to be happy, even if it meant she would be with someone else.

Suddenly the temperature in his room started to drop, condensation forming on the crystals. Plagg dashed to the inside of his shirt while Adrien hugged himself, shivering and teeth chattering. Was it an Akuma? He looked outside but the cold had made his windows frosty. He jumped when an invisible finger traced figures on one, shaping themselves into letters.

"Hello CN" Adrien read, his voice quivering with the cold "are you the n…next spirit?"

The word "yes" showed up on the next crystal and Adrien looked around, hoping to find the spirit, only to be faced with a tall figure covered in a dark cloak. Their face was hidden and the sleeves were too long to cover their hands.

"I…I g-guess you are the spirit of F-future time?"

The spirit nodded.

"A-alright," he walked towards them "I-I am ready."

And with that, everything around him turned white.

[just-an-anxious-mess]

Looking Back

Part 2

Trigger Warning: mentions of blood, character death, sorry in advance :P

Seven minutes.

That was all the time Logan had left if his calculations were correct and they usually were. The chances of him making a mistake were

"infinitesimal"

"You make one mistake and this is what happens!"

Logans lips twitched up into a small smile as he remembered how much Patton enjoyed bringing that mistake up.

He'd felt sort of upset at first but Patton had explained that he didn't mean any harm, it was just mild teasing. It became a sort of affectionate little joke and it became more worrying if Patton didn't bring it up.

Patton had started out as such an annoyance to begin with, someone Logan dreaded spending time with, but he'd grown rather fond of the pun loving trait.

Each time they interacted Logan couldn't help but feel warmth in his chest which started out small and then grew until whenever he even thought about Patton he'd be filled with a fuzzy warm feeling.

Logans smile faded slightly as he thought of what had happened when he'd tried to understand that feeling.

He'd been reluctant to go to any of the others for help and had at first tried to research it online but came up with barely any reliable results.

He'd reluctantly tried to seek help after that had failed.

Logan coughed violently and winced as he checked his watch.

6 more minutes left.

He thought of how he'd gone to Virgil first, having felt more comfortable talking to him as he was the least likely to point out that he lacked knowledge of something and required help from someone else.

"I dunno maybe it's just heartburn or something?"

"It is highly unlikely to get heartburn so frequently and at such a coincidental time."

"Alright, whatever then, why did you come to me in the first place? Surely one of the others would be better at explaining? Patton is literally Thomas's heart, Roman's also good with emotions and stuff, Thomas might be able to help and heck, even the snake would be better at this than me."

Virgil had tried his best to help but neither of them were particularly good when it came to expressing or talking about feelings.

Thinking of Virgils comment about Deceit being more helpful made Logan chuckle slightly.

Deceit was never very helpful when anyone asked him a question, he loved toying with them, switching between lying and telling the truth.

Logan had found that out the hard way when he tried to figure out just how many snake mannerisms he had.

"do you require other sources to heat you up or are you warm blooded still? Do you have scales in other places? Do you shed your scales? Do you have a third eyelid that comes down over your serpentine eye? Do you produce any sort of venom? Do you have specific dietary requirements? How often do you have to eat? Is one huge meal enough for several weeks or do you eat regularly like the rest of us? Can you unhinged your jaw to fit bigger items in your mouth? Are your teeth sharper than normal? Can you... "

"Sssssstop! Has no one told you that you talk to much? If you want the answers to your questions you need to sssssssshut your mouth and let me speak."

"my apologies, go ahead."

"my answers are yes."

"excuse me?"

"You're excused."

"I... I was asking you to... Nevermind. What I meant was, what do you mean by your answers are yes?"

"I mean exactly what I said LoLo."

"yes doesn't answer all of the questions properly though, what do you... Deceit! Come back!"

"nah, I've got other things to do which I definitely don't want to do right now. I'd much rather listen to your inane questions."

"Deceit!"

Deciet had never answered any of Logans questions so he'd had to try and figure them out himself through careful observation.

Logan felt a judder of pain radiate through him and he winced.

5 more minutes.

While Deceit was infuriating with his lack of answers it was nothing compared to Roman. Roman was quite possibly the most annoying person Logan knew, constantly overcomplicating things, so blinded by his love of fantasy and romance that he never stopped to think things through realistically.

The two had definitely disagreed on a lot of things due to that but Logan wouldn't have changed any of it. So many times they'd argued only for them to suddenly realise that both of them had valid points that could then be put together to form an almost perfect solution. Not to mention the rap battles. Logan grinned as he remembered the first time when he'd shocked everyone with his ability to rap.

"where.... Where did that come from?"

"I have an appreciation for poetry"

"Aaaaaaaaaah!"

The scream of excitement from Patton coupled with the stunned disbelief on Romans face had definitely made that a memorable moment.

He and Roman actually found they shared a lot of common interests, poetry being one of them and Shakespeare being another. Obviously they liked those things for different reasons but that didn't matter.

4 minutes.

Logan closed his eyes, holding back a groan of pain. When the pain faded slightly he sighed.

"to quote Shakespeares Sonnet 60: Like as the waves make towards the pebbled shore,

So do our minutes hasten to their end;

Each changing place with that which goes before,

In sequent toil all forwards do contend."

He coughed and spluttered violently after saying all that aloud before shoving a hand over his mouth to muffle the noise. The last thing he wanted was for the others to hear.

He shook his head as tears slid down his pale cheeks. He didn't have many regrets but his biggest one was definitely his own pride. He was too prideful to ask for help even when it was the only logical solution. He guessed it probably had something to do with his own ego. He hated appearing as if he had no control or knowledge of something but when he did it didn't help if one of the other traits pointed it out.

His damn pride was the reason he was in this mess to begin with.

He could feel his lungs protesting as he took a shaky breath and just about managed to glance at his watch again, his limbs becoming harder to move as he grew weaker.

3 minutes.

He leant his head back against his bedroom wall, closing his eyes as he thought of how this would effect Thomas.

He had purposefully told the others he was not to be disturbed no matter what today. They'd all had at least one issue with his request but upon seeing his dead serious expression they'd allowed him the whole day to himself.

He wasn't sure if Thomas knew though and the last thing he needed right now would be to get summoned because what was happening had some effect on Thomas that made him panic and call for Logan.

Logan hoped the others wouldn't pick up on what was happening because it wasn't exactly like he could lock his door to keep them from bursting in.

2 minutes

Logan glanced at his bedroom door a small choked laugh coming out of his mouth as his eyes struggled to focus on the empty space where the lock used to be. He only had himself to blame for the lack of a lock on his door and remembered how he'd cursed at himself for managing to get on the wrong side of Patton for once.

"Logan Sanders! What on earth do you think you're doing?"

"mphmmph."

"give me that jar right now! I already told you Dinner is going to be in 20 minutes!"

"mmmph.... It's mine!"

"Logan! I swear to dog if you don't open this door I will ban you from eating Crofters ever again!"

Patton had gotten Roman to kick open the door, breaking the lock in the process, and had then confiscated the jar and spoon Logan had in his hand. Logan was banned from eating Crofters for a long time and it was only recently he'd been allowed it again. Not that it really mattered anymore.

Logan screwed his eyes shut as he felt a stabbing pain in his chest and lungs everytime he took a breath. He had a single minute left. 60 seconds and then it would all be over.

He forced his eyes open and looked around his room, tears running down his face as his vision blurred slightly.

Not having a lock on his door had made it more difficult to hide what had been happening and he'd had to think up some rather ingenious places to hide the evidence, just in case someone burst in.

Logan felt something rising in his throat but could no longer lift his arms so he couldn't muffle the choking cough or stop the blood from trickling out of his mouth.

30 seconds.

His breathing was laboured and he shut his eyes. He thought once more back to Patton and the smallest of smiles spread across his lips as he remembered the one instance that had solidified his love for the moral trait.

"Logan could be a Gryffindor."

"and why is that Patton?"

"because he's my hero."

Logan started choking as his lungs seemed to stop functioning completely and he began to think of everything he’d to say to Patton if he had been there at that moment.

10 seconds.

"Patton I love you"

9.

"I'm sorry for everything."

8.

"I didn't want to trouble you"

7.

"it was easier this way"

6.

"me and my damn pride"

5.

"I never wanted you to see me like this"

4.

"if you're the one to find me I'm sorry"

3.

"I'm so fucking sorry"

2.

"maybe I should have said something sooner."

1.

"back when I first started coughing up  p  e  t  a  l  s "

Logans body went limp, a glistening string of blood and petals coming out of his mouth from where he'd fallen victim to the hanahaki disease.

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