#that’s just me screaming ALLAH ALLAH YA BABA

[theklaapologist]

Hhhhhhhh can’t wait to get my second dose of corona juice so I can finally go to Leros and vibe with my grandma’s sister and my Egyptian relatives I’ve missed this place so bad skbsksbssn

[bollywoodconfessions]

HIT NAHIN FLOP HAI MOVIE PIYA.....

I don't know where to start, I shouldn't be wasting my time reviewing such a shit film, but I think I need to get the shitfest out of my system!

Ok..so...the movie started, and it actually opened up pretty promisingly, I enjoyed the song "first class” it is the only song that I enjoy of the album anyway, but after that song the whole movie is downhill! And mind you that song came in the first 10-15 minutes of the super long boring movie.

After that the whole movie is a big time haze. The only people who stood out for me in the first half were Sonakshi, Aditya and Sanju baba. It was nice to watch their family dynamics in between the rubbish of Heera Mandi. I liked all of them together as they had really good chemistry.

However the glue of the whole movie, which was the love story between Alia and Varun was the most boring and weird part of the whole first half, I couldn't invest in them one bit. Alia and Aditya had far better chemistry, heck even Sonakshi and Aditya had far better chemistry.

I always knew that Varun Dhawan is not hot, but I am appalled to see how bad his acting has become, his acting sucked, it lacked soul, he couldn't bring any intensity to his character, nor could he create even a small amount of chemistry with Alia, moreover his weight gain made him look ugly, it all fell very flat.

I mean like come on? no wonder the khans are still thriving, the young generation just suck, they have no intensity! Only in Bollywood, a woman can have an affair with Varun Dhawan when she is married to ARK! Makes no sense!

Don't get me started on the terrible bull fight, I have not seen a more horrific sequence in my life, absolutely terrible, the CGI was a joke and Varun looked like a joke too, someone tell him to concentrate on acting than showing off his 6 pack abs, he needs to get back down to earth.

Then came the horrific pre-interval portions, and they were crap to the core, like I can't even decipher or understand, so bloody crap, such shoddy writing, it made no sense whatsoever, Madhuri's acting in those sequences was horrific, especially when she screamed her dramatic "YA ALLAH” it was so bloody funny and terrible at the same time. Both Madhuri and Varun acted so terribly in the first half of the movie and they didn't even improve when things got dramatic! 

Sanju and Aditya downplayed the pre-interval portions, which makes much better sense, but it was obvious that even they knew that the writing is crap. The complication is the silliest thing I have seen in the history of cinema, made no sense at all.

The second half was extremely horrific and I have blocked it out completely, if I am not wrong Sonakshi’s character dies in the second half, and that scene was so very sad, the way both Aditya’s character and her character cry in each other's arms is just heartbreaking! Really good acting by both of them in that scene and it made me cry. Another sequence which I liked was when Sanjay Dutt’s character confronts Alia Bhatt’s character, and tells her to take over the duty of the woman of the house and be of help to them. Apart from that the whole second half was terrible.

Now let's get to performances! Madhuri and Varun were absolutely hopeless. I love Varun but he was such a disappointment. Madhuri cannot act to save her life, the botox and face surgeries don't help, her mujra was a joke, and it is time for her to retire.

Aditya, Alia and Sonakshi acted very well! Special mention to poor Sonakshi, she was so good, yet no reviewer even praised her, I loved her! Sanju was good in his special appearance and made an impact, but there is no denying that his character was half baked, but I enjoyed watching him nonetheless. He has many movies lined up, so I am sure I will soon see him in better movies, so it doesn't worry me much. I am glad he was credited as a special appearance even though his screen time was equal to Madhuri's.

Anyway a complete shit fest

1.5/5

[maryamti]

the day you made me a mama

March 24, 2018      

Maryamti, 

I didn’t know it but I have been waiting for you my whole entire life mama. You were literally the perfect baby in every way. Even your pregnancy was a smooth one alhamdullilah (we’ll forget about the morning sickness for the first 4 months ;)) Baba used to joke that I was the doctors’ favorite patient because I never had any issues or concerns. That was all a blessing from Allah swt. 

Mama, this post is your birth story. 

I was supposed to be working at CVS until Thursday March 22,2018. I had a Drs appointment on the 23rd and maternity leave started then. But as we all know, God always has other plans for us. 

I started feeling contractions Sunday night, March 18 and your dad suggested that i call off from work the next day. i had about three contractions that were about 20 minutes apart but thats it. I wasn’t even sure if they were contractions but it was a strange feeling I’ve never felt before with you. anyhoo, i called off and since your khalto basma was visiting us, I spent time with her while baba was at work. We went walking mostly to induce the labor. But let me tell you, that labor was stalled. Girl, you were just too comfortable in there and I don’t blame you honeybun, it was cold in Detroit. 

On Wednesday, I woke up with the worst back pain I have ever felt. I could not walk, I was limping and I needed to have something to hold on to, it was excruciating. But baba and everyone told me to walk to get things moving. On Friday, the 23rd, we went to my Dr’s appointment and I wanted you out, I was done. The midwife did something called a sweeping and it was supposed to help induce labor. This was at about 2pm. After my appointment, basma and i went to have some tacos and mocktails at this place I have been really wanting to try called Mcantinas. the tacos were soooo good and you know your khalto basma is a foodie. then we attempted to go to the mall to walk but i really coudn’t so we went home and i made some dinner for your baba. We made fish and salad and rice.

 At about 8pm, while we were having dinner, i felt a strange pain in my abdomen that was different than earlier. I didn’t think too much of it but it happened again about 15 minutes later. So your baba suggested I shower and he even blow dried my hair (he really is the sweetest soul) and we got the hospital bag ready.

 By 11pm, the contractions were coming every 5 -6 minutes and I would fall to the ground from the pain. Everyone told me I would know contractions when they came and boy where they right!! I changed my clothes and I could not even walk to the hospital even though your baba and i had timed it before and it is literally a 5 minute walk. We drove to the hospital and the contractions were getting real and painful. I am not one to scream when I am in pain but i just cried and tried to breathe. I wanted to be alone. I didn’t want anyone next to me. We got inside and as soon as they got me to check me, I asked for the epidural lool (i was done with the pain, I could not even think straight). I was 5 cm dilated and you were coming into the world, on time too! Your due date was March 24,2018. You get that from your baba, I am not an on time kind of girl 

We went into the labor and delivery room at about 12 am and they gave me the epidural. Let me tell you that I had not loved anyone as much as I loved the anesthesiologist. He was just sent from God, he put it in right away without any complications and within 10 minutes, I couldn’t feel anything and I loved it. We all decided to get some sleep so I was able to push when the time came. At about 6 am, my water broke. It was such a strange feeling. It was like I peed on myself but I didn’t need to use the bathroom. Then, at about 7 am, i started having a a fever and your temperature was rising too. I was not aware of what was going on, but your baba was loosing it and I had no idea. He knew something was up and bless him for being on top of the doctors there bc they ended up having to remove the epidural and I needed to push you out QUICK. I was scared. I didn’t understand what was really happening. I was in pain. a lot of pain. I think I pushed for about half an hour, i’m not too sure, but all i remember is your baba and basma telling me to “PUSH!!!” and “You can do this, you’re so close!!” but really i just wanted to punch everyone bc I didn’t know how much longer I could push for. Alhamdullilah, I pushed and pushed and then I heard the midwife say “I see her head!” and i put my hand and felt your head and it was very squirmy (sorry if thats not what you were expecting loll). But i think it was 2 more pushes and Maryam Abuzaanona was born into the world at 9:57 am. They put you on my chest and you were the most beautiful thing. You made me a mama. You were 7lb 6 oz and 20.5inches of perfection. Ugh, i still see your lips and smell your smell when you were on my chest. Your baba was next to me and he had tears in his eyes and Basma was on my other side in awe and I was just soo relieved. You were on my chest, my daughter, you looked around you and looked at me, your mama and I just did not want to let you go. They only gave me a few mins with you bc they had to run a lot of tests bc they were afraid you got an infection from me. Baba was with you the whole time and he held out his finger and you grabbed it with such a tight hold. I got to see you a little while later. We went to the NICU and held you and then began our journey with our loveliest gift Maryam Ahmed Abuzaanona. Oh man, I’m crying now just remembering it all. 

Maryamti, I love you with every ounce of my being and you make me the happiest person in the whole world. Allah yihmeeki ya mama