#that’s good progres

[blushy-plushie-bovid]

Gritting my teeth and doing better for myself every day! Even if i slip up or take steps back i am not evil for that i am making progress!

[avatardoggo]

when you meet a Guy and he is 99.9% perfection but the Holy Spirit says no

[violetsareblue-selfships]

good morning!! :3

[meliohy]

Me slacking off at work because I'm frustrated with my job: What if I made up some OCs?

Me five minutes later: ok so the OC is a guy who got burnout with his job so he quit and then he met some people who do their job badly in a fun and messy way and they're all silly together :)

Me:

Me: Wait. Did slacking off at work because I'm frustrated influence the OC making process? Unbelievable.

[smokedcapybara]

YOUR METABOLISM CAN INCREASE WHEN YOU REACH 30???? FUCK

I've been so reassured by everyone telling me I'm gonna start gaining weight faster and I might start losing instead????

[yuri-is-online]

Can I request a part 2 for when the guys leave some of their stuff in the guest room? Can it be with Azul, Jamil, and jade please? Thank you!

While cleaning the Ramshackle guest room, the prefect occasionally finds items that remind them of their guests. Sometimes that is because those items actually belong to them and need to be returned, other times it's just a happy coincidence. Either way, the item needs to be delivered, might as well invite them over again? Or just chase them down, whatever is most convenient.

notes: they/them used for Yuu, I was a bit surprised to get this request! In a nice way~ No warnings for this one, just pure fluff. The first one can be found here and more fic can be found on the Masterlist.

Antique Coin

Azul Ashengrotto is a well put together young man. His suits are pressed, his shoes are neatly polished, his rooms are always orderly and without dust.

Which is why he notes immediately when something is even mildly out of place, and completely falls apart once he's in the privacy of his own room. He knew he never should have paid attention to that stupid article Floyd had shared in their group chat, coins being symbols of good luck wouldn't make him relatable to anybody and now he's missing one of his best coins! How stupid could he have been to think that-

"Hello, this is Azul speaking." He snatches up his phone without even checking the caller ID and immediately begins sweating when he hears your familiar breathing (he swears he's not a creep, really! He's just noticed that whenever you speak on the phone, not that you do that often really just when he can work up the nerve and hey this is technically the first time you've called him! Progress he's making progre-)

"Hey there, you got a moment?" Azul can feel the heavy sweat drop on his forehead. He's done enough research to know conversation starters like this are never good.

"I'm a bit busy right now." He tries to lean casually against his desk and glares at the book that has the audacity to fall off his desk and startle you. "Is this terribly important or can it wait?"

You, laugh? Is it nervous, or is it affectionate? Does even know what that sort of laughter would sound, is it bad that he finds your voice terribly beautiful even if it's mocking, even if it's- "Um sorry, but are you missing a coin?"

"A... coin?"

"Yes! I remember you saying you collect them and this one I found in my guest room smelled a bit like the ocean so. Yeah. I thought it might be yours." He smiles.

"My dear, you know I'm just going to say 'yes' and take it from you." You laugh again, how silly that last one was nerves. This one is affection, his hearts are fit to burst with it so it must be. "I'll be there in thirty minutes. If that’s acceptable?"

"Of course! I'll be here." Perhaps that article wasn't completely wrong after all.

Red Feather Accessory

There are few things Jamil hates more than being sick. Assassins don't have sick days, or maybe they do. Maybe they have better benefits than he does. Maybe he'd make a really good assassin in some alternate universie like that one video game series from your world you told him about once, the one with the emblems and gangrene? He doesn't remember much of the conversation Kalim tricked him into having by saying he wanted to hang out in your guest room yesterday.

"But you were so happy to see them!"

Because of course, that had been Kalim's justification. And sure, he probably had been really happy to see you. He'd been running quite the fever and he can't imagine you made that temperature any better.

"Good morning, prefect." He manages it smoothly, you look properly embarrassed to see him this early, your eyes flicker to his hair and linger just a moment longer than normal. "Sleep well?"

"Mostly." You try to focus on his face, but his hair is clearly distracting. Your eyes keep darting back to it, Jamil expected to be embarrassed, but this is oddly empowering. "Is there a reason you're here so early?"

"I think you know why I'm here." You don't, he can tell that much from how you swallow. "Can I come in?"

"Sure?" You move just the bit and Jamil let's himself inside, the doors in Ramshackle always look so damn similar. Just how do you find your way around in here? "Um, Jamil?"

"Yes?"

"Do you know why you're here?" You look lovely

"Of course." He laughs. "I left a hair accessory here yesterday when Kalim decided to visit." How odd, normally you'd flinch if he worded it like that. Instead you just look sort of blurry.

"I see." You're close now, but he can't see you through this weird fog that's filling your hallways. You push back his headband and press the back of your plam to his forehead. "Oof. Well that's not good." Your arm encircles his shoulders and boosts him back up to his feet. He supposes he can afford to lean towards you, there's enough plausible deniabilty in what he's said already to keep his feelings to himself.

"C'mon." You do your best to boost him and march back towards the door. Jamil is smiling similar to how he does when he gets one over on Azul, but you doubt he's planned this. He's so feverish that his skin has gotten clammy. "I already took your hair pin back to Scarabia, ok? Let's get you back to bed."

"That's so kind of you." His hoarse voice tries to purr. "Perhaps you'd like to stay for breakfast?" Thank the seven Grim isn't awake yet. You'd never hear the end of this from either of them.

Encyclopedia of Tea

Books are expensive, you can count on one hand the ones you own unrelated to your school work scattered around your dorm. They are precious to you, signs of your life in a world you don't belong in. A way to tell something about you if someone decided to look at the little shelf you had finally put up in your guest room.

And someone had, because you know damn well this book isn't yours, the process of returning it is guaranteed to be a headache but the longer you hesitate the more ammunition the book's rightful owner will have to accuse you of stealing it. Assuming that's what Jade's goal was anyway, it seemed like something he would find funny to do. You could picture him slipping the book onto your shelf with that calm look on his face.

Jade's face isn't what you would call wildly expressive. He smiles pleasantly most of the time, seldom do you see him frown. Even now when his forehead is knit in concern there's nothing really resembling the scowl you saw during Azul’s overblot.

"Hello Jade, forgotten something?" You hold the book up and shake it slightly. His eyes widen, and his smile drops into something more nuteral. This expression is adorable, it stays as Jade speaks, allowing you to admire it longer

"Oh?" He blinks, Jade wakes easily enough so your own expression flickers to concern at how slow he seems for just long enough to give him back his confidence. "It seems the simplest solution was correct. Thank you, prefect." He reaches for the book, hands lingering near yours as his eyes focus on the title of the book. He is painfully slow in taking it back.

"Do you really take this everywhere with you?" Your hand involuntarily flexes as you retreat back into your personal space. Sometimes you wish you could read minds, it would make this heavy feeling in your heart more explainable. Let you notice the way Jade's teeth display for you and not hide inside your own insecurities, how he wishes you would keep your eyes on him.

"Of course, it helps to have some light reading on hand when things get slow." He wishes you had kept the book long enough for it to retain your scent or some of your warmth. Perhaps now that he's set this precedent, he can fake it. Leave his jacket or his scarf? But no, that wouldn't be believable. He's Jade Leech, the Vice Warden of Octavinelle. You would never believe the real reason the book ended up where it did. His dreams are his to dwell in alone.

"Perhaps as thanks I could prepare one of my favorites for you? To clear the debt so to speak." For now.

[a-d-nox]

pac/pap: what is changing in your life this season?

take what resonates leave what doesn't - nothing is 100% for you because these aren't personalized so please no angry comments or dms about what i am saying not being a good fit for you or that you "don't claim" just keep scrolling if that is the case. be kind, self reflect, and have fun.

last pac/pap: how can i present myself in the best way possible?

masterlist of pap/pac posts

want a personal reading? click here to check out my reading options and prices!

pile 1

you might be meeting someone new who brings a fresh perspective or emotional depth into your life; it could be a friend, partner, and/or mentor. this is also a great time to start a new artistic endeavor; painting, writing, or crafting, which will allow you to express yourself in unexpected ways. personal growth can occur through these activities as well as they aid with introspection or therapy, leading to a better understanding of your own feelings and needs. engaging in and/or receiving unexpected acts of kindness that uplift your spirits and encourage you to connect more deeply with others will greatly benefit you this season. receiving and/or giving thoughtful and heartfelt gestures in a romantic relationship will deepen emotional bonds. that being said addressing and healing past emotional wounds is critical, this will lead to a renewed sense of peace and emotional clarity.

there might be a new opportunity for growth in your career/investments. prioritize your self-care and personal well-being this season; perhaps through adopting healthier habits and/or finding more balance in your life. don't shy away from practical advice that will help you manage everyday responsibilities more effectively. you could experience increased productivity in your work and/or personal life; which could be supported by your increased organization and focus this season.

you are likely to find yourself making quick decisions and/or decisively acting to pursue your goals, even if it means facing challenges head-on. make sure you are engaging in stimulating conversations or debates, where sharp thinking and clear communication are crucial. this will help you make the correct decision for you long term. also make sure you are using your logic and analytical skills to cut through confusion and to help you solve problems efficiently. it is time to address conflicts or misunderstandings directly.

pile 2

you may experience unexpected expenses, find it hard to save money, and/or face a temporary loss of income. make budgeting and financial planning your focus starting now. as there could be delays or obstacles in your career, such as a promotion being postponed, a job offer falling through, or feeling unmotivated/uninspired at work. minor health issues or feeling physically drained could arise; you need to pay more attention to your well-being, diet, and/or exercise routines. you may find it difficult to concentrate on tasks which leads to unfinished work and/or feeling scattered. your investments (financial or otherwise) may not yield the expected returns, causing you to rethink where you’re putting your resources (and time) in to. you could be questioning what’s truly important to you, leading to a shift in how you view success, happiness, and/or stability.

you may feel trapped in a situation (relationship and/or job) without a clear way out. which could lead to frustration or a sense of helplessness because you’re unsure how to move forward. is it the universe or you? it might just be you who is resisting necessary changes; holding onto the familiar out of fear of the unknown (even if it’s not in your best interest). otherwise, instead of taking the time to think things through, you might make hasty decisions that lead to you feeling as sense of regret. you could find yourself holding onto past hurts, grudges, and/or regrets, which prevent you from moving forward with a clear and open mind.

you might feel like you’re not making progress, even though you’ve put in a lot of effort. there’s a sense of being stuck or not being able to move on to the next phase of your life. i feel like it is unresolved issues or "loose ends" that need your attention before you can truly move forward. this could involve past relationships, projects, and/or personal matters that require closure. it may be a struggle to find closure in certain situations, whether it’s ending a relationship, leaving a job, and/or moving on from a past experience. this lack of closure can prevent you from fully embracing new opportunities. there is a sense of disconnection from others and/or from your sense of purpose. there could be a feeling of isolation / lack of harmony in your relationships or within yourself. the time is now to wrap things up or learn better coping mechanisms.

pile 3

you may find yourself managing multiple priorities or projects - prepare yourself mentally for taking more on. life may throw some curveballs your way; you will be required to adapt quickly. go with the flow and handle changes with grace - this will be essential. budgeting and/or managing money might be a key focus for you this season as well. you need to organize your time better to accommodate all of your commitments, both personal and professional.

projects and/or plans that you hoped would move forward might encounter unexpected setbacks. which could lead to frustration and/or a feeling that things are not progressing as you thought they would. you might struggle to see the bigger picture, causing you to hyper-focus on immediate problems and not the long-term. which could pigeon hole you or decrease your opportunities upcoming. now is a good time to re-evaluate your current goals and/or strategies. rethink which direction you want to head to ensure it aligns with your true desires and capabilities. also this season there may be issues with teamwork and/or "your cooperation". misunderstandings and/or a lack of support from others is likely.

otherwise, there is something worth celebration happening for you this season; whether it’s a party, a reunion, or any event that brings your people together. enjoy the company of friends and loved ones - celebrate your achievements and/or special occasions this season. your social circle and friendships are going to be more important than ever this season. you might find yourself relying on your friends for support or just enjoying each others company. reminder: you don’t have to go through things alone; there are people who care about you and are willing to help.

[lemoncrushh]

Saturday Night

Summary: Harry needs comforting after his performance on SNL.

Warnings: None, lots of fluff and emotions

Word Count: 1639

A/N: One shot written in 2017 after Harry's appearance on SNL. I believe this was a request. Written in first person, but the woman's name is not given.

He was nervous.

He didn't want me or anyone else to know he was, but I could tell. And who wouldn't be? It was his first performance in over a year, and his first ever as a solo artist. I would have been nothing but a ball of nerves if it were me. He'd paced back and forth in the green room, spreading his fingers out as far as they would go, bringing them back into a fist over and over again, repeating the cycle each time he'd make it to the other end of the room and turn around on his heels.

I'd sat quietly on the sofa, nibbling on the display of fruit and crackers that sat in the middle of the coffee table. I was nervous too, but I said nothing unless it was to reply to a question, giving him the most space I possibly could. I'd asked him earlier if he would rather I took a seat in the audience, but he assured me he wanted me backstage, waiting for his return. Though he never expressed why exactly, I took it to mean he wanted me to be there for him, for him to see my face and perhaps share an embrace after he'd walked off stage, and I took comfort in that.

I'd watched his first performance on the monitor in the green room, sitting on the edge of my seat, my hands tucked underneath my thighs as I bit my bottom lip. By the end of the song, I'd felt my eyes well up, quickly wiping them away with the back of my hand before he saw. I could tell as soon as he walked in that he was less than pleased with himself. He'd missed a couple of notes, his voice raspier than usual from all the practicing, and once he'd even had to drop a word at the end of the phrase due to lack of air. I knew he had to be mentally scolding himself. But I'd thought it was flawless. He'd done it. He was Harry Styles, rockstar.

He didn't say a word to me as I rose from the couch and our eyes met. Instead, I saw his chest rise and fall with a deep breath before he removed his suit jacket and discarded it on a nearby chair.

I'd watched the rest of the show in the same spot, my gaze again meeting Harry's whenever he reemerged, but quickly faltering. I felt a tenseness in my muscles, a sourness in my stomach, wanting badly for him to tell me how he was feeling. But I knew better. He'd tell me when it was all over, and he could finally take a step away from it all and get out of his head. During the skits, he was his usual charismatic self, and I could tell he was having a good time. But I knew that during his second song, he was again in his head. Not that that was always a bad thing. Just as before, he was flawless, at least to me and probably ninety-nine percent of his fans. Though he seemed a little more relaxed than he had been during the first song, his nerves remained apparent. I wanted to hold him, to tell him how proud I was of him - remind him how incredible he was.

This time when he came into the room, I sensed a lighter air around him, a calmness. I let out a breath and smiled at him, to which he returned with a thumbs up, making me feel a little more at ease. However, he still said nothing, only rolling down his sleeves and grabbing his jacket to put back on. I bit my lip as I watched him on the screen one final time, to bow and blow kisses to the audience as Jimmy thanked him and the rest of the cast and crew. He looked genuinely happy, and that filled my heart with joy and pride.

I stuck around for a while after the show, allowing Harry to hug everyone and say goodbye. I could tell they all adored him, as it should be. I stood by his side while he chatted lightly with people, feeling his hand sometimes squeeze mine. I'd give his a squeeze back, our own little silent conversation. I could feel the tension dissipate from his body little by little as the evening progressed into early morning, though I knew eventually there would be a discussion with actual words. For the time being, I was content in letting him enjoy his moment, the friendly banter with the cast members serving him temporary distraction.

By the time we arrived at our hotel, Harry opting out of the cast party that followed, I could tell he was exhausted, though itching to finally talk. I sat on the edge of the bed, removing my shoes as I watched him, his back to me while he unbuttoned his shirt.

"You were amazing," I declared.

I saw his head turn slightly, though he didn't look at me.

"Coulda been better," he muttered with a shrug, shaking out of his shirt and tossing it on the floor.

I sighed as I rose from the bed, carrying my shoes to my suitcase.

"I don't think so," I argued. "It was perfect to me."

"Mm not to me," he huffed, pulling down his trousers. "I fucked up."

I stood frozen as I watched him cross to the bed and lie down, his arm over his eyes.

"I think you're a little hard on yourself," I said. "Everyone loved it."

"I didn't love it."

"Harry..." I murmured, climbing onto the bed next to him. "It was live television. You were bound to be nervous."

When he didn't reply right away, I worried that I'd said the wrong thing. I laid down beside him, watching his bare chest rise and fall. I wanted so badly to make him feel better.

"I'm really proud of you," I whispered.

Harry dropped his arm and blinked as he stared at the ceiling.

"You did exactly what you set out to do," I continued. "On your terms. Your rules. Your music. That's like every musician's dream. You're living it."

Turning his head finally to look at me, I saw his green eyes glisten.

"You liked it?" he asked, his voice scratchy.

"I loved it, baby," I replied. "And so did your fans. You have to know that, right? Everyone is rooting for you. We're on your side. A couple little glitches mean nothing. In fact, if anything, they made you more likable. It was so raw and real."

"It just sounded better in rehearsal," Harry muttered.

I tried my best to hold in a chuckle.

"You're such a perfectionist," I grinned. "But that's one of the things I like most about you. You keep pushing yourself because you know you can do it. That's what makes you great. That push...that drive...it's appealing."

Harry's expression softened as he sighed, his gaze returning to the ceiling.

"I'm just mad that I let my nerves get the better of me."

"It happens," I said. "But it didn't ruin the performance. It was spectacular."

I caught the corner of his mouth wiggle slightly. "Thanks, baby."

I scooted closer to him, placing my hand on his chest. I was relieved when he covered my hand with his and gave it a squeeze.

"You know how wonderful you are, right?" I asked rhetorically. "I envy you. Even though you might have been nervous tonight, you're the most fearless person I know. You just exude sheer talent, it's in your blood. I'm constantly hearing how kind and charming you are, and I'm so grateful I can attest to that because I see it with my own eyes. At least half the planet is crazy about you, and the other half just saw the show tonight and are gonna be talking about it for weeks."

I saw Harry's eyes blink faster at my words and he squeezed my hand tighter.

"I'm not saying all of this just to make you feel better," I stated. "I mean, I want you to feel better. But I'm saying it because it's true."

I pressed my lips to his cheek then, kissing a trail to the tiny freckles on his cheekbone and up to his temple.

"I'm so proud of you," I whispered again in his ear. "So proud."

With one last kiss, I released him and rolled onto my back. But within seconds, Harry followed, laying his head on my chest. He wound his arms around me, nearly taking my breath away. I smiled to myself as I heard him hum, the vibration tickling my skin from the inside. I let my fingers comb his hair as he continued to breathe and hum gently to the rhythm of my heartbeat. We laid there like that for several minutes until I thought he might be asleep.

"I love you," he spoke, making me jump.

"What?"

I wasn't sure I heard him correctly. Although I'd known for a while that I was in love with him, neither of us had confessed our feelings for the other. Raising his head, Harry looked at me and crawled up my body so that he hovered over me. I stared into his eyes with anticipation until he closed them softly and lowered his mouth to mine. He kissed me passionately, like he had many times before, but somehow also differently.

"I love you," he repeated.

"Harry..." I murmured, pulling him back to me for another kiss. And another.

"I..." I stumbled between kisses. "I love you, too."

Harry grinned, pressing his lips to my forehead, then the bridge of my nose.

"I know," he said, before kissing my lips once more.

If you enjoyed, please like, comment, reblog or send me a msg!

MASTERLIST | KO-FI | FEEDBACK

[veradragonjedi]

@airlocksandaviaries @many-legged

Gertrude Robinson commission for @thatf-ckinnerd through @magnusforgaza !!

[bornulhu]

Progr tamer

A profession in which a Koolu gathers up Sweet flake plants and with them and a small shakey instrument lures wild Progrs. Which are then tamed/domesticated. Progrs lay nutritious eggs and their dung serves as really good fertilizer. Some Koolu cultures even eat Progrs

[canmom]

Hello! I absolutely love your blog, everything from your festival recounts to animation analysis and programming (one of tumblr's recommended posts was the one where you made your own rasteriser, and I liked your attitude in what I've read so much that I'm gonna attempt to conquer my 3-year-long grudge against using opengl during college and do something similar now that I'm a bit older and have no deadlines :D).

But anyway, I have 2 questions (sorry if there's easily accessible answers, tumblr search is not helping): 1. During your animation nights, does the screen stay black while everyone watches their own video while you provide commentary? I haven't caught any yet but maybe someday! And 2. do you have any youtube channels or just one-off video essays that you like that also cover animation/directors? Or, even programming lol.

Sorry for the long ask have a nice day!

hiii! i'm very touched that you like my dorky eclectic blog <3

For the Animation Nights, I just stream the video over Twitch from local sources on my computer, typically by playing the video in mpv and recording it in OBS. This is obviously not ideal from a video quality perspective, but it's the easiest way to watch video in sync without making everyone download files in advance. Then we all chat in the Twitch chat box (in large part to crack stupid jokes, it's not that highbrow lmao). I've gotten away with it so far!

As for youtube channels, I can recommend...

anime production/history (i.e. sakuga fandom)

SteveM is likely the most sakuga-fan affiliated anituber. He makes long, well-researched and in-depth videos on anime history, usually themed around a particular director or studio.

Pyramid Inu might be my fave anituber - very thoughtful analysis of Gundam, obscure mecha anime and oldschool BL and similar topics. tremendously soothing voice too.

The Canipa Effect does excellent deep dives into the production of specific shows, both western and anime. I appreciate the respect he gives to the Korean animators of shows like AtlA in particular!

Sean Bires's 2013 presentation on sakuga is pretty foundational to this whole subcultural niche, and a great place to get an introduction to the major animator names to know and significant points in the history of anime. unfortunately a couple of the segments got slapped down by copyright but the rest holds up!

animation theory (for animators and aspirants)

I'm going to focus here on resources that are relevant to animation in general, and 2D animation. if I was going to list every Blender channel we'd be here all week :p

New Frame Plus is one of the best channels out there for game animation, describing in tightly edited videos how animation principles work in a game context and analysing the animation of various games. highly recommend

Videogame Animation Study is similar, examining the animation of specific games in detail

the 'twelve principles of animation' (defined by Disney's Ollie Johnston and Frank Thomas) remain the standard approach to animation pedagogy; there are various videos on them, but Alan Becker (of Animator vs Animation) has quite a popular series. I haven't actually watched these but many people swear by them! Dermot O'Connor expands the list to 21. Note that some of the terminology can be a little inconsistent between different animators - c.f. 'secondary motion'...

Dong Chang is an animator at Studio NUT, who produces a lot of fantastic, succinct videos on standard techniques in the anime industry, timesheet notations, etc. etc. Studio Bulldog, a small anime studio, are a good complement; they focus more on douga than genga and are generally a bit more traditional.

programming

big topic here, I'm going to focus on game dev and tech art since that's my field. but also some general compsci stuff that's neat

SimonDev - graphics programmer with a bunch of AAA experience, fantastic explanations of advanced optimisations and some of the more counterintuitive aspects of rendering

Acerola - graphics programmer who makes very detailed guides to a variety of effects with a very rapid and funny 'guy that has seen monogatari' editing style. When he's good, he's really good. His video on water is probably the best one I've seen (though I can recommend a couple of others).

TodePond - the most charming, musical videos about recursion and cellular automata you've ever seen. less programming tutorial and more art in themselves.

Ben Eater - known for his breadboard computer series, a fantastic demonstration of how to go from logic gates up to the 6502 with actual hardware. worth watching just for how clean he puts the wires on his breadboards like goddamn man

Sebastian Lague, Useless Game Dev - both do 'coding adventure' style videos where they spend a few weeks on some project and then document it on Youtube, resulting in a huge library of videos about all sorts of fascinating techniques. great to dive into

Freya Holmér - creator of the 'shapes' library, makes videos on mathematical programming, with gorgeously animated vector graphics. Her video on splines is a particular treat.

There are definitely many more channels I can recommend on these subjects, but I'll need to dig into my history a bit - unfortunately I need to rush out right now, but hopefully that should be good to be getting going with!

[patchwork-crow-writes]

Why Good Doggies Are Also Bad Doggies

(And What That Means For MyHouse.wad)

There are two dogs in MyHouse.wad. One's a sweet, harmless puppy, and the other's a relentless, deadly hellhound. Both of these dogs reside in what's commonly known as the Brutalist house, a vast concrete structure that shifts in size from small to large as you explore it.

The smaller dog, quite naturally, provides little in the way of an obstacle, and indeed its presence is surprisingly uplifting in such a bleak, sad game. It's the big, two-headed brute, the "Bad Doggy", that aims to prevent your progres; it's swift, deals a lot of damage, and takes a lot of firepower to subdue. It rules the space it resides in with an iron jaw, and will not take no for an answer. Your only options are to avoid it, or to kill it.

But there's a catch - kill the Bad Doggy, and the Good Doggy also dies. And while this does open up a loophole to allow you to deal with the Bad Doggy with no risk - killing the Good Doggy yourself - the fact remains that an innocent creature's life has to end for your journey to become easier.

Of course, you know this, and likely opted to "spare" the Bad Doggy so that the Good Doggy could join you on the beach at the end. And yes, the sight of our canine friend napping by the waves does help to complete the sense of a "good" ending - or at least, a "peaceful" one.

But... have you ever stopped to consider what this actually means? How, rather than being a throwaway device to make you feel sad, or a lazy reference to Tom's fear of dogs, this "Good Doggy"/"Bad Doggy" actually serves to reinforce the core message of MyHouse.wad?

Consider these dogs again... or rather, consider this dog. Singular.

There is one dog in MyHouse.wad. Sometimes it is a Good Doggy, playful and diligent and affirming to our wellbeing. Other times, it is a Bad Doggy, aggressive and domineering and striking fear into our hearts. Kill one, the other dies. You cannot separate the two. Where the Good Doggy goes, the Bad Doggy must inevitably follow.

How do you stop a Bad Doggy from being a Bad Doggy? You can't, not entirely. A Bad Doggy is bad only in the context of its owner's view of it. A doggy that shreds the furniture, is overly-aggressive in its interactions with its owners, jealously guards spaces and important objects, is deemed bad because of its actions. When it exhibits behaviours that are more paletable to the humans that care for it, it becomes a Good Doggy.

As a child, Tom was scared of his family's pet dog. Viewed through the lens of a terrified young boy, a dog that might be only the most loving and attentive creature, excited to play with someone similar to it in size, may appear vicious and unrelenting, causing fear and injury with its exuberent actions and disregard for its own strength. These experiences, whatever form they might have taken, left a visceral impact on Tom, as we see in his sketchbook containing the multiple-headed hellhound.

What happened to that dog? Was it ever rehabilitated? Did its status as a Good Doggy outweigh the trauma it potentially inflicted upon Tom's psyche? Or... did something else happen to it? Were its actions deemed too harmful, too Bad, to continue living with its owners?

We can only speculate on these points, but they do serve to provide an answer to the above question on how to stop Bad Doggies - you get rid of them. Give them away, abandon them, put them to sleep. Problem solved. But that doesn't just remove the Bad Doggy from the picture - it also eliminiates the Good Doggy that can provide comfort and companionship, as well as any potential future joy that same doggy could bring to its owners.

Which brings us back to the beach, and our Good Doggy having a nice nap there. Of course, I'm sure you've realised, it's also the Bad Doggy.

But what exactly does that mean for our "perfect", "happy", "peaceful" ending? Are we going to be savaged on the beach the moment we let our guard down, having fought so hard for the happiness we were so desparate to recover? Of ocurse not. But consider what its potential presence means for the future.

The Good and Bad Doggy are inexorably linked. To have the potential for joy and companionship and love, you must also accept the possibility of pain, conflict and loss. For better or worse, the bad has to come with the good - either you have both, or you have nothing at all. That's why there's no dog at the fake beach - that ending represents attempting to escape bad things altogether, but the world that results is unsatisfying and devoid of meaning. The reason things hurt so much is precisely because of the joy that came before it. Denying pain and sorrow is no better than giving up on life.

To live a meaningful life, we sometimes have to accept people as they come, warts and all.

Happiness, as Steve opines at the end of his journal, has to be fought for. But the fight doesn't stop just because you won once. Having resolved to come to terms with the world as it is, the world where your dearest friend has died, you therefore choose to re-enact that battle every single day. Some days it's easier. Some days, it's torture. That's what being alive is all about. That's what makes the moments of peace, the moments when Good Doggies really are Good Doggies and nothing more, all worth it in the end.

Thank you for reading :)

[peppermint-moss]

y’all are literally so sweet omg 🥺🥺 thank you thank you!!

Everyone’s always like “I know you from your Trushpelt AMV!” But no one’s talking about your super sick, super angsty, and very clever “Fine, Great” Jayfeather animation, smh

aw haha thank you!

[bluehourbucky]

Oooooo yes. Oki it's a bucky/reader

Reader was an asset at the same time as bucky and her orders were to keep him safe at all costs, so even if it ends with her taking a bullet. So they've had an intense relationship and hydra being hydra uses it against both of them.

Fast forward to the snap, she doesn't get dusted and manages to escape hydra. She meets nat who helps with her trigger words. They don't fix her since shuri is gone but ends up tweaking it so she's really only listening to her handler- nat or bucky as that's a default lol.

Come to the blip and her and bucky reunite and he has some lingering winter solider tendencies when it comes to her and being protective af. So Sam being sam notices it and gives bucky shit. He snaps and essentially says that she reminds him of hydra and can't stand her.

So typical angst troupe. She avoids him until they get put on a mission and she gets triggered. So bucky ends up taking care of her. Can be smutty lol. Like any part of this can be used. Doesn't have to be the whole thing lol

a/n: Hope you don't mind I simplified it cus I think I'd need more than one part to write all of this properly!!!

Hope you enjoy reading this I put all of the angst into it 😅😅

Sorry this is so long 😅😅😅

MY FIRST REQUEST EVER!!!!

To forgive

pairing: bucky x exhydrasoldier!reader

summary: tension between you and Bucky is unbearable and when a misson goes wrong apologies are in order

warnings: f word couple of times / angst a lot of it

masterlist

_______________________________________

Sam actually doesn't know how he managed to get stuck with not one but two super soldiers who have a staring problem but this is his reality right now.

Recently you and Bucky have been staying with Sam since you two could not live with each other alone anymore.

Bucky became your roommate after everyone came back after the snap.

At that point you were 5 years free of Hydra and mostly recovered, you had been found by Natasha and she had helped you a lot and so has Steve. Steve already had experience watching his friend struggle with what had Hydra done and his heart ached seeing his friend in you. The same lost and broken expression made him sad.

They did everything they could, Natasha and Steve even bought you to Wakanda but without Shuri the progress was slow but it was still progres.

Steve before leaving talked to both you and Bucky and suggested you two could help each other out since there was no one else who could understand more what you two had lived through.

It had been good in theory but in practice it was not.

Buckys' recovery was way past yours, and it frustrated you, you were angry especially because you still had this need to protect Bucky at all times.

Being Hydras punching bag was not fun, you didn't blame Bucky it wasn't easy for him either but he was so precious to them that they needed someone to protect the most important asset. It wasn't like you were the only one, you just survived the longest. There had been many before you, who had been removed or just killed in a mission to protect The Winter Soldier.

To Bucky, you were just a reminder of the torture he had survived. Some nights neither of you slept because the same nightmares haunted you, and yet you didn't talk to each other.

You both remember very little about each other from your time in Hydra, the pain is the only thing you both remember so clearly.

It had become impossible to stay together the night when Bucky had a nightmare and you had tried to help, it was awful. That night when Bucky woke up he had thought he was back at Hydra because he saw you. He yelled and screamed and even attacked you, telling you to let him go, and you didn't even defend yourself immediately going back to your training with Hydra.

"Protect the asset no matter what. your life is not important, the winter soldier must be saved. Do not hurt the asset or you will be punished."

That night had changed everything. The weak friendship that you've had with Bucky vanished and all you ever did was fight.

"The dishes aren't washed princess."

"Can the Winter Soldier throw out the trash sometimes?

"Does princess need to be reminded to not use all the hot water."

Oh but the missions are the worst for everyone.

Sam started to bring a spray with him whenever you and Bucky even try to speak to each other because sometimes it is so unbearable that it could ruin the mission.

Sometimes against your wish you jump in to protect Bucky, the Hydra training instincts rooted deep inside you.

"You don't have to protect me!"

"I don't have a choice here asshole! If it were up to me I wouldn't care less if something happened to you!"

But when Bucky had jumped from an airplane without a parachute your heart had dropped. And it was not because your instincts had kicked in, you had watched the man you've been protecting many decades jump from an airplane that was like 30000ft in the air!

You put a parachute on you and brought one with you and jumped after him.

"Dumbass you forgot something!" you had yelled over the wind catching up to Bucky.

He'd ignored the parachute you tried to give him and left you to just watch him descend.

You have no idea how he survived but you were pissed off and were ready to kill him yourself.

"ARE YOU FUCKING INSANE? WHY THE FUCK WOULD YOU JUMP WITHOUT A PARACHUTE!"

"WHY DO YOU CARE IT'S MY PROBLEM IF I JUMP OR NOT!"

"NOT IF YOU ASK ME! I LOST MY LIFE TO PROTECTING YOU AND YOU DO THAT! YOU'RE SO SELFISH!"

You had pushed him hard enough so he stumbled a bit but that's only because he didn't expect it. Bucky had also received a slap to the face which Sam might have enjoyed way too much. It had caused an actual fight between two of you and it took Sam 30 minutes to separate you. By the time you had to fight people you had come to fight in the first place you and Bucky already had battle wounds.

Tonight you're in Madripoor and the plan was that Bucky pretends to be The Winter Soldier, it made you nervous.

Sharon had give you a dress and some flat boots in case you needed to run, Bucky and Sam had received some very nice suits.

When you saw Bucky in a suit your heart flipped at the sight of him. You've never seen him in a suit before and you weren't sure how to feel about it. He looked handsome, it's not the first time you had that thought but usually there was annoyance clouding any other thoughts about Bucky.

When Bucky looked at you as you exited the room you were changing in his brain and heart malfunctioned. He'd never seen you in a dress before, you preferred clothes that covered your body completely - the scars on your body made you feel very insecure - Bucky was the same the more his body is cover the less attention he has on himself.

But God, have you taken his breath away. It isn't like he thinks you're ugly, you're gorgeous, and if you had known each other back when he was himself and before you had been brainwashed to protect him he would've loved to have taken you to a dance. Unfortunately your situation was too complicated and it had made it impossible for you two to have any kind of relationship not only romantic.

Bucky and you have a very awkward moment where you made eye contact and then quickly looked away. The tension in the room grew to a 100 real fast.

"So ugh about the plan." Sam coughs to fix the awkward vibe that has enveloped the room.

While Sam is explaining the plan you and Bucky glance at each other when the other isn't looking and Sam pretends not to notice.

The club is crowded and the atmosphere changes when people start to notice The Winter Soldier.

You're on edge the entire time.

Suddenly a fight begins but all you hear are the trigger words which do not affect Bucky but you're entirely a different story.

As Bucky was about to get punched you had jumped in front of him stopping the hit with your hands. You break the the guys hand and turn around to hit another big guy.

"Get out of here I will take care of this."

"No you won't."

And when you don't Bucky pulls you by your hand and you have no choice but to run with him.

When you finally arrive at a safe destination away from everyone who's trying to kill you Bucky turns to you.

"ARE YOU SERIOUS? WHAT HAPPENED IN THERE YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO WAIT! ARE YOU SO STUPID YOU CAN'T FOLLOW SIMPLE INTRUCTIONS?"

You only stare back at him not even blinking.

"Bucky stop she's not okay can't you see?" Sam puts a hand on Buckys shoulder backing him away from you.

"She fucked up she wasn't supposed to engage."

"Bucky look at her."

That's when Bucky notices that you're not looking at him you're looking at the floor, your hands behind you as if waiting for punishment.

And suddenly it clicks, your trigger words. Some of them were the same as his.

"I'm so sorry. I- I didn't notice I'm so sorry."

You stay in your place not moving an inch.

Bucky tries to touch you and at first you flinch, he doesn't know what to do - he hugs you, surpsing himself.

He stands there his arms tightly around you.

When you finally come back you start sobbing and Buckys heart breaks. He was supposed to know better.

"I'm sorry, I'm so sorry I should've known I should've said it was a bad idea I'm sorry."

You're shaking in his arms and his heart breaks a little more with every whine.

It takes you 45 minutes to stop crying and that's only because you've exhausted yourself with crying.

Bucky carries you to a dodgy motel that him and Sam found. Your limp body in his arms makes him feel incredibly guilty. He feels awful, he'd been awful to you for months and you're right he's been selfish. Bucky can only hope you can forgive him.

You wake up with a headache the light coming through the window indicates that it's for sure not early morning. The sun is gentle and you can tell that sun is about to be gone. To the right of you there's a night stand and to the left is Bucky sleeping on a chair, sitting up.

You notice that you're in Buckys shirt and your pyjama pants.

"Hey."

You turn at Buckys voice.

"Hi."

"I'm sorry about last night I was out of line. I've been out of line for a while. And I'm really sorry I've put you in danger-"

"Bucky..."

"No I need to say this, please."

you nodd.

"There's so much I regret but I regret putting you in danger and giving you shit the most. I've done nothing to make your life easier I've only made it worse. And you were right I was selfish. I was in my head too much and you're the only person who completely understands what I've been through. Last night shouldn't have happened but I was stupid. I hope you can forgive me and I'll do everything in power for the rest of my life to make it up to you."

"Bucky... I-... What happened to us is not fair and we both did stuff we regret, I also wasn't fair to you. I'm not okay. I haven't been a while and last night wasn't your fault. I'm sorry too. I'm sorry for calling you The Winter Soldier and for hurting you purposely. And you have nothing to make up for nothing that happend is your fault."

Bucky and you stand in silence for a while each trying to process words and the situation you're in right now.

"Fucking Hydra."

Bucky breaks the ice with that statement and you both laugh.

"Bucky, could I ask you for a favour?"

"Anything."

"I haven't been well for a while and last night only showed how much I need help. I'd like to go to Wakanda so they get me in cryo to fix my brain. Please be there for me when they put me under and when they wake me up."

"I promise."

True to his word Bucky is there when they're preparing you for cryo.

"It's going to be okay. These people are the best they know what they're doing. Besides they had their experiment animal way before you!"

"Oh shut up..... Thank you Bucky. I'll see you when I wake up?"

He smiles and gives you a tender hug full of emotions but mostly love.

"I promise."

The last thing you see are Buckys blue eyes looking at you softly he doesn't let himself cry.

The next time you see Bucky is when your new life begins.

_____________________________________

[THE END]

This is gigantic udhdhdudud I'm not sure If I should've written so much but it was fun?

Likes reblogs and Comments are appreciated <3

[monsters00km]

I wanna talk about people fighting for Zaun. Bc i feel like they did interesting things as a show.

Vander.

Made a deal with the sheriff. That helped protect the people but wasn't good for the progres sof Zaun as a community/economy.

Silco.

Helped the economy of Zaun. But this really only benefitted the chem barons and himself. The people of Zaun were thrown into addiction and further into poverty.

Sevick.

Never really helps zaun on her own. She will have the opportunity now as a council member. But she mainly helped who she thought was Xauns best choice as a leader; Vander, Silco, then Jinx.

Chem barons.

We don't see them too much. But pretty sure they were kidnapping children in s2. Using child labor. And creating shimmer. So not helping Zaun.

Jayce.

He is interesting. Bc he fights for Zaun for a minute. Then, he kills a kid. And gives up. Then decides the best option is to hand zaun over to Silco. Who is not helping Zaun either. So he is just kinda throwing the problem away instead of working to fix it.

Viktor.

WANTS to help Zaun. But never does. Bc of piltover politics, hextech is to help piltover first. And jayce doesn't help in this matter.

The Council.

Not helping Zaun. Also SUPER ignorant to what is going on. Bc the last 2 sheriff's made deals with Zaunites to keep the council out of their business.

Cassandra Kiramman.

She cleaned the air. She is definitely ignorant of what is going on. But used her power and money to clean the air of Zaun bc she believed they deserved clean air.

Vi.

Doesn't help Zaun. Listen. This isn't a shot. It makes perfect sense. She gives herself up in s1 to stop a war between Zaun and piltover, bc of Powder. She always picks her family first. And then she spends 7 years in prison and is released into a world she doesn't know. She has no obligation to Zaun and I do not expect her to fight for Zaun.

Ekko.

Fights for Zaun. Like fully. Best boy. He is trying to stop the distribution of shimmer. But. Here is Ekkos but. He isn't powerful enough to stop it/ take on silco. He is focused on a brighter future. And it trying his hardest.

Caitlyn.

Ooo caitlyn. Actually, tries to help Zaun. Don't freak. It's true. She completes 2 of her 3 goals. Eliminates shimmer production. And the chembarons. Which is 2 things that are not good for the people of Zaun. Her methods are ehhh. But in reality. Ekko couldn't stop the source of his issues being shimmer, silco, and the chem barons. But Caitlyn does. But she also helps ambessa with martial law. Which is bad. But then she stops the use of solitary cells in stillwater. She also is the person who gives them a council seat.

Caitlyns journey with Zaun to me is so interesting. Bc in s1. We see her eyes open and her want to help is there. Then Jinx kills her mother. And she STRUGGLES. understandable. And she makes bad decisions. But then at the end she's making decisions to help zaun.

Jinx.

Helps Zaun on Accident. Yes. It needs to be said. Love her. But she had zero intentions of helping them. She becomes a symbol of hope bc she's the zaunite who attacked piltover TWICE and didn't get caught. But the first time was literally in anger about what they had done to her. And the second time was bc they were looking for her. When asked to help Zaun she said no. In fact she only helps AFTER Isha gets kidnapped. Then walks into those cells like a hero. When the only reason she is there is for Isha.

She is like Katniss Everdeen. Her goals are like survive and help little sister. And everyone around them are like... wow what a rebellious symbol. And I love this about them both. It's so real. Like i feel like alot of people who are symbols. Dont choose to be. And thats Jinx.

I just kinda wanted to talk about this. And see what other people thought. Mainly bc I feel like there is this standard of who helped zaun. And so much is overlooked or embellished.

[ssbooks]

DAY 11! (I forgot the ears.....)

I blow the bit of eraser dust off the paper. And look down at my fished drawing. The sun from the window hits the paper just rights making it sparkle. I take in my fished product all at once. The face of my MC stared pack at me. I grinned.

Then my smile slipped off my face. And an ugly knot tightened in my chest. I look over the mistake over and over again. How could I have done that??? It was so basic??

SHE WAS MY CHARACTER!!!!

HOW COULD I FORGOTEN THAT SHE DIDN'T HAVE EARS??????????

My glaring mistake glares at me like a hot needle. The two round forms of the ears I had give her glare at me. I bury my face in my hands. "How could I have forgotten??" i sob into them. "I'm the writer! WHY DID I FORGET????"

I uncover my face, and wipe my nose on my sleeve. I snatch the eraser off the bed. Determination crosses my face. I looked down at my paper for the last goodbye.

"Good thing mistakes can be erased." My eraser plunged downwards.

Anyways on a different note...

I got 1000 Words done on my novel. GUY'S I'M MAKE PROGRES!!!!!

What is this feeling??

I feel invincible!

Is this how it feels to be productive?? I should do this more often.

...If only it didn't require so much energy...Ugggggg.

Do you guy's ever forget something crucial to your character?