#that’s because I’ve only seen this film twice and can’t handle it because I cry

[wonderlandhatter]

Comfort in you.

Pairing: Spencer Reid x femReader

Summary: You have a cuddly secret that is keeping you up at night, and your solution makes Spencer think you are falling out of love. (sorry that's not a great summary)

Word count:2580

Warnings: I don't think there's any, itsy tinny bit of angst if you squint but just a load of fluff

A/N: To be honest I don't know how I feel about this, I like it but idk. if I missed a warning feel free to tell me and if you have any feedback it is very welcome I am looking to improve my writing. Hope someone enjoys this :).

A/N2: My old account got deleted so I'm just reposting my fics I would appreciate if you could bust this so i could get back to where my account was thank you for your time.

Everyone has a source of comfort, something that makes everything bad disappear even for just a moment. For some it was a hobby and for others it was a person, either way everyone had one, yours just happened to be one most people have had but said people have also left it behind, along with wearing dippers and eating crayons.

You weren’t a child; you weren’t you just found comfort in it. So, what if you were in your twenties and still slept with a plushie who's business is it anyways. You can’t help it you just can’t sleep without it; you've had it since the moment you were born, plus your parents never made a move to take it away when you were younger. So here you are now.

It had never really been an issue, yes, your friends teased you but not in a hurtful way besides you had been friends since primary school, so they didn’t really care, as long as you were happy. Now boyfriends are a whole different story. You hadn't had many so it was never really an issue, you have had 3 in total if one of them even counted I mean it lasted until lunch time and you were 5 and  he wouldn’t  have minded since he also slept with a stuffed animal.

Your second boyfriend was in high school, you were sixteen, you hadn’t even thought about the fact he might find it strange so the first time he came over you didn’t try to hide it, it didn’t go well, he called you a baby and threw it around, and got annoyed at you when you asked him to stop because he was going to damage the plushie, the nerve of the guy. Well that did not last awfully long not just because of the plush but because he was a prick.

And now here you were 23 and dating the wonderful Dr Spencer Reid, you guys have been dating for nearly 8 months, and what amazing 8 months have they been. You owned quite a popular bookshop and that is how you met; he had come in a few times before he was able to muster up the courage to even say hello. He found everything about you wonderful, the way you handled books with such care and how you carried yourself with such grace, (the grace one wavers as in his second visit he witnessed you trip twice, but he just he found it endearing and wonderful). Honestly, he already had a bookshop he had frequented previously but this one had something no other shop could ever have. You, and so he kept coming, and you two kept talking, and talking in the shop lead to talking at the coffee shop, which lead to talking over dinner and then talking for 6 months which may have lead to some activities with some inappropriate talking, and now 8 months later and you have never been happier.

Honestly it’s a miracle you’ve made it 8 months without him finding out about your little secret, it helps that you guys hadn’t started having sex until 2 months ago, neither of you had been in a rush and so took your time, and the first time was wonderful, but that’s a story for another time. Another thing that helped was the fact that he was nearly always on a case, he made time for you, and you understood he had to be away and admired his career choice, it just meant that when you were together most of the time you chose to spend time together, saying that there have been times as soon as Hotch has dismissed him he has gone straight to your apartment and is picking you up and too your room, but what can he say, he is just but a man and you are just but a very hot woman. Thankfully that time he had been so preoccupied with getting his clothes off that you were able to put the plush under your bed without him noticing (you did feel bad about shoving  it under the bed but you had no time he was a man on a mission), you hadn’t been able to sleep that night or any night you had stayed with him, so you stopped staying over even if it was just to sleep..

Now the issue came when Spencer got a couple of weeks off from work around the holidays, so you were off too. And oh boy were you tired it wasn’t that you were doing it like bunnies but you did enjoy time together so you wanted to be together for as long as you could, and you were absolutely loving all the stolen kisses and the reading to each other and arguing who the best doctor is (the sex is very good too), the trouble only came at night when he said you should stay, he  hated you being out by yourself at night, too many cases involving creeps, so you would stay.

But after a few days without sleep you were so exhausted, you started making up excuse to not stay and to stop sex, it worked for a few days until it didn’t.

You had been watching some foreign film Spencer had seemed very excited for, you loved watching these with him, not because you understood what they were saying, it was complete gibberish to you, but you quite enjoying feeling his breath on your neck when he leaned down to whisper the translations for you, he knew there were subtitles and you knew there were subtitles but this turned you on and you both knew it. So, it confused Spencer when after the movie was over and after two hours of whispering and you subtly rubbing your thighs together you yawned and said you should get going.

He would never force you into anything, and would never expect sex from you, but he knew you were turned on and he knew you wanted it, he knew what you looked like when you wanted him, he had seen it enough times, and he loved the sight, but here you were clearly frustrated and about to just leave. Don’t misunderstand Spencer here it isn’t just the leaving clearly horny it’s the not having slept in the same bed for days, he knew you had some trouble sleeping any time you had slept over, he just assumed it was being out of your bed, but you almost always went out of your way to not sleep together in your bed. So, he chose to say something.

“Y/N can we talk”, “oh that seems serious” you replied humorously while tying your laces, until you looked  up and saw his face, “you look upset, did I do something”, you said clearly upset,“ No! no you didn’t do anything, well you did but um ahh, I don’t know how to word this”, this was a first, he always had the words to say, normally he couldn’t stop talking, but right know all he was thinking was how his girlfriend couldn’t stand to be on the same bed as him, and how she was doing what she could to avoid sex, he knew he wasn’t overly experienced but neither was she, but he always made sure she was getting some sort of pleasure, and made it his goal to get you to finish at least twice.

What if you had faked it, what if you were falling out of love, was it all the hours he had to work or was…his thoughts were cut short by you “ Spencer please talk to me, what did I do, I’m sorry if I’ve upset you”, he could see the worry in your face and without thinking he just blurted out “do you not like me anymore”, “ What!!!” you said almost immediately, he could see the confusion in your face but you spoke before he could, “Spencer I love you, why wouldn’t I like you anymore, do you not like me anymore”, he saw the hurt in your eyes as your mind wandered and he couldn’t speak fast enough to stop that train he needed to take that hurt away, “no, no god no I love you too, I love you much it’s just that lately you’ve um, you’re always coming up with reasons to not sleep with me, and I don’t mean sex I mean even just sleep, well you’re also avoiding sex but that’s not the point, I also know you never really sleep when you’re with me and I’m sorry if being that intimate with me makes you uncomfortable, because I can see you were turned on after the movie and you were just going to leave and I just need to know if I make you uncomfortable.”, Spencer spoke so fast you were left there stunned and a little embarrassed at him knowing he turned you on but also you were backed into a corner, you could see the pain in his eyes, he though he made you so uncomfortable you couldn’t sleep in the same bed as him, at the thought of how you hurt him your eyes began to water.

“Spencer I don’t know what”, “please don’t deny it Y/N its been over a week since we slept in the same place” Spencer interrupted before you could get your pathetic attempt of n excuse out, so you were going to come clean, he is going to break up with you was the only thing going through your head but you had to tell him, you hurt him and that was worse.

So you mustered up all the courage you had and looked down because you might cry if you looked at him in the eyes, oh well all your courage could only do so much, “you don’t make me uncomfortable Spencer. You’re wonderful that isn’t why”, spencer interrupted before you could continued, he just needed answers,  “then, why?”, “promise me you won’t laugh at me”, he looked confused how could you ever think he would take your feeling for granted and laugh at them, “of course I won’t” he simply said as he gently pulled your chin up with his hand, he could see your you were nervous and so gave you a kind smile, and did something you two do quite often, he offered up his pinkie, you giggled as you put your pinkies together to make a promise, after your pinkies were separated you looked slightly down again and quickly blurted out “Icantsleepwithoutmyplushieandididntwantyoutoseethatistillneededitandthatswhyicantsleepbesideyouandwhyicantsleepwheniamwithyuo” it was so quickly the flash couldn’t have understood, his confused face was honestly adorable but your adoration was cut off by his very confused “what?”, and so you took a deep breath looked at him, thought over your words for a second and finally said much slower, slightly hesitantly and embarrassed  “ I can’t sleep without a plushie,” you said shyly he smiled softly at this and you continued after a beat “that’ s why I can’t sleep when I’m with you, I didn’t want you to know, I mean I’m in my twenties and still sleep with a toy its pathetic, and after a few days of not sleeping I was exhausted and so I  thought I could just avoid having to sleep without it, I understand if you want to break up or if you want to make fun of me”, you stopped talking when Spencer pulled you in for a quick kiss, “sorry you were spiralling and that’s what you do when I’m spiralling”, he smiled while his face was still only a breath away, you simply nodded and made no move to move.

“So you’re not breaking up with me” you asked shyly, assuming since he had just kissed you, “why on earth would I be breaking up with you”, “because its childish and ridiculous that I can’t sleep without it”, he gently smiled and pulled your chin up to look at him with one hand and held your hand with the other. “it isn’t strange or childish, actually 44% of adults still own a childhood toy and 34% of adults sleep with a stuffed animal, its perfectly normal, and honestly really cute” the last bit made you blush but all together you felt better, “thanks bub”, “what for”, you shrugged an simply said for not making fun of you and with that he pulled you into a hug, and neither made an attempt to move.

And so here you were now in Spencer’s car on your way to your apartment, if you were being honest you were too tired to be as embarrassed as you would have normally been, but he wasn’t  shaming you and all you wanted was to sleep by his side. As you got to your apartment complex you walked hand in hand, made your way inside, and went to your room.

Spencer had been there multiple times before so he had some clothes he could sleep in already there (also you may have stolen a good amount so he could borrow those too), so he put some plaid pyjama bottoms on and a graphic tee and made his way to his side of the bed, you had gone to the bathroom to do your skin care routine and came out in some thin cotton pyjama shorts and one of your (his) old Cal tech sweatshirt, he can’t deny he absolutely loves seeing you in his clothes, to him it is possibly one of the most beautiful things he has and will ever see.

You made your way under the covers and cuddled him, you both shared some lazy kisses and light touches before you stopped so you could sleep, you made an attempt to try an sleep without it but Spencer nudged you and gave you a half amused smiled so you sighed dramatically and stretched over to your bedside table were your plushie was living, as you took it out and made your way back to Spencer’s side you held it close so he couldn’t really see it. He wasn’t really having that though.

What he’s curious he wanted to see it, so with a much more amused smile and looking down at his adorable girlfriends he asked “ can I see it”, “no” you answered almost immediately and in more of a grumble against his chest, “please, you look adorable and it looks really soft, can I please see it”, and so without looking up you not so gently pulled it out from nearly fully under you and pushed it to his chest, and hid your face deeper into him. He gently picked it up and inspected it, you didn’t hear him say anything so you looked up and saw him already looking at you with simply love in his eyes, “what?” you asked slightly confused, he simply kissed you and you understood, no words were needed to explain what he felt.

You picked up the toy and hugged it again and Spencer hugged you, you felt safe, you felt loved and overall, you were happy. Maybe Spencer could be your new comfort source, you would never get rid of your plushie but maybe it wouldn’t be a necessity maybe holding him would be enough. But being honest he already was he was enough; he was more than enough. And with that thought you both drifted off exchanging quiet I love yous.

[nugnthopkns]

take the sadness out of saturday night

word count: 2.8k 

warnings: insinuated fem!reader, a couple of curse words, alcohol consumption, vaguely described feelings of inadequacy 

recommended listening: chinatown | bleachers featuring bruce springsteen

a/n: will i ever write anything more than 3k? probs not. also this baby is completely self indulgent but i don’t even care

All you want to do is sleep. Or drink an entire bottle of wine. Maybe both. 

Graduate school is a lot harder than you expected it to be. You obviously weren’t naïve enough to think it be as easy as your undergrad, but you didn’t think it would be like this. It’s competitive; with people doing whatever it takes to get ahead. You’ve almost had your thesis topic stolen twice. The workload is also incredibly different. Gone are the days of small tests and assignments: everything relies on your thesis paper being of the utmost quality. You feel like you’re drowning in the middle of the ocean.

Today was the worst in a succession of terrible days. On the way to campus you dropped your coffee but didn’t have enough time to get another one. The conditions didn’t get any better once you reached school. Your lunch got left behind on the kitchen island and your advisor didn’t show up for your meeting, putting you another two weeks behind schedule. To top it off, you left campus later than usual and caught in the horrendous Philadelphia traffic. By the time you reach your apartment complex you’re thoroughly exhausted and two seconds away from crying. 

How you can afford your current lodging is beyond you. Tuition is waived by the university, which certainly helps, but you’re mostly relying on loans. It will be a bitch to pay off in a few years, but you don’t have any other option. The building isn’t ridiculously flashy, with semi-outdated furnishing, but it’s in a central location that anyone in Philly would kill for. Every day you wake up grateful there isn’t an eviction notice on your door; though you’re very careful to pay rent on time. Only the small lamp in the entryway is on when you unlock the door, but you keep it that way. Kicking off your sneakers and haphazardly hanging up your jacket, you shuffle into the bedroom portion of the studio. The pyjamas tucked under the pillow are calling your name, and it feels so good to free yourself of business casual clothing. 

The next stop on your mad-dash around in order to plant yourself on the couch as quickly as possible is the bathroom. You scrub your face vigorously, knowing you’ll pay for it in a few days when a breakout appears, but you can’t find it within you to care. It feels so good to be clean and in control of a situation. The kitchen is where you meander to next, filling the largest glass you can find with rosé. A bag of candy is grabbed as well, and then you’re tucking yourself into the corner of the couch and piling on the blankets. You open Netflix and briefly debate what to watch before deciding on something you’ve seen a million times before that won’t require your full attention.

Half an hour into the film you get hungry, but with no ambition to cook for yourself. Take out it is. You place an order at your favourite sushi joint and lazily return your gaze to the T.V. The scene on the screen no longer appeals to you, so you dig around the cushions to find your phone. It’s been a while since you’ve called your mom and you know she’s been missing you; truth be told you miss her a resounding amount. Philadelphia is a long ways from home and you can’t afford to travel often. Not being near your pillar of support is definitely wearing on you. She picks up on the fifth ring. 

“Hello?”

A tear slips out at the sound of her voice. Yours catches in your throat slightly, and your response is garbled. “Mom,” it breaks at the end, and the tears quickly turn into a waterfall. 

“Oh honey,” she sighs, chest filling with pain at your apparent despair. “What’s the matter?”

You sob for a minute or two before it subsides enough for you to actually speak. Through hiccups and sniffles you detail your horrible week, and the one before that for good measure. Your mom stays silent, listening with intent, and the one sided conversation eventually turns into you fretting about how you feel inadequate in your academic community and how you can’t picture a future. Only once you’ve ran out of words does she speak, negating the argument put in place by your imposter syndrome and doing her best to inflate your ego. 

“You’ve earned your seat at the table Y/N,” she says with conviction. “I know it doesn’t feel like it, but you deserve to be there. You’re cut out for this; no one is more passionate about their work than you.”

Another hiccup slips past your lips as you respond. “Thanks Mom.”

You don’t have to see her to know she’s sporting a smile. “We’re so proud of you honey, and always will be. No matter what you decide to do. Hell, you could move to Peru to become an alpaca farmer and your dad and I would be the happiest parents on Earth.”

The comment is meant to make you laugh, citing the time you called her during your undergrad to inform her you were dropping out and moving to the Andes. It works. You can’t help it, and have to admit it feels good after days of negative feelings. She distracts you further, recounting a story about your youngest brother’s recent baseball game that ended with a trip to the hospital after an unfortunate sliding incident. You wince at the mention of the basemen’s cleat colliding with his ankle, and chuckle when she talks about Connor singing showtunes in the recovery room. The story swapping continues, and it brings comfort. If you close your eyes you can envision yourself sitting on your mom’s bed, hiding your face in a pillow when anything embarrassing happens. 

A knock at your door ends your conversation, and the sadness slowly trickles back into your bones. “Mom, I’ve gotta go. The delivery person is here.”

“Okay sweetie. I love you.”

“Love you too.”

Having lost track of time, you’re wildly unprepared to pay for your food. “One minute,” you yell in the direction of the front door, praying the person on the other side heard you. You root around your wallet for the appropriate amount of cash before sliding across the floor and unlocking the door handle. The person standing there is not in fact a food delivery service worker, but your neighbour from across the hall, holding what you presume to be your dinner. 

“Nolan?” 

To say you’re shocked is an understatement. Though you’d go as far to say the two of you are casual acquaintances, he’s never shown up unannounced on your doorstep. Most of your interactions take place in the elevator or hallway, and you’ve only been inside his apartment once when you left your keys in your advisor’s office. Being a professional hockey player means he typically isn’t around a lot, but you had learned from a friend he’s spending the season sidelined by an injury. He still hasn’t been around a lot from what you could tell. 

His low rumble catches you off guard for a millisecond but it doesn’t take long to adjust. “They, uh, sent it to the wrong door,” he mumbles, holding out the bag to illustrate his point. 

“Fuck,” you swear. “Sorry. How much do I owe you?” A ballpark figure is in your brain, but you aren’t above throwing in a few extra dollars for the inconvenience. No one wants to receive their neighbour’s food. 

Nolan shakes his head profusely and shoves his hands in his pockets when you try to slip the money into them. “It’s on the house,” he shrugs. “Think of it as an apology for being a shit neighbour these past couple of months.”

“You’re a great neighbour Nolan. I have no complaints.” He returns your smile but doesn’t speak. An awkward tension fills the air between you, almost as if each of you is waiting for the other to talk. 

“Well I’ll let you –”

“Would you like some company?”

The question stops you dead in your tracks. A look of bewilderment must appear on your face because Nolan starts blabbering. “It’s just that you looked upset when you came to the door, like you’ve been crying. I can also see the nearly empty bottle of wine on the counter and that’s never a good sign.” He pauses for a second to take a breath before blurting out a final sentence. “And there’s a game tonight and if I don’t distract myself from it I think I might die.” Ragged breathing punctuates the sudden stoppage, and when you look up to meet his eyes you feel a sense of desperation. 

Without saying anything you open the door wider and retreat into the unit, hoping he gets the hint. It takes him all of two seconds to follow you, quickly darting across the hall to lock his door. You’re at the fridge when he returns, and turn around to ask him what he’d like to drink. 

“It seems like an alcohol kind of night,” you chuckle. “What are you having?”

He looks at you sheepishly and rubs the back of his neck. “Could I have a glass of that rosé?” 

You nod and gesture for him to pass you the bottle. “Never pegged you as a wine drinker,” you comment as you fill his cup. 

“Travis teases me relentlessly so I don’t keep it at the house anymore. Can only drink it in private.”

At the mention of his teammate’s name you understand. It’s exhausting to fit into someone’s mould of you. “Your secret is safe with me.”

The two of you migrate to the couch and once again become shrouded in silence. It’s comfortable this time, as you nurse your glasses and watch the skyline. Just having someone by your side is enough to quell the upset you’ve felt all day. You wonder why you hadn’t sought Nolan out sooner. It seems he’s been in a similar situation; having terrible days and feeling alone. Conversation only comes once he realizes both your drinks are empty. Nolan opens the fridge to find one more bottle of wine; a cheap, fruity one that’s meant to taste like a cooler. It’s strawberry flavoured, which equal parts thrills and disgusts him. He’s thrown back to his first high school party, when this was the only alcohol he could get his friends’ older sisters to buy him.

“I feel like I’m sixteen again,” he laughs, not bothering to fill his glass. Instead, he swigs from the bottle before reaching over the back of the couch and placing in your lap. You follow his lead, drinking directly from the vessel.

“Don’t judge me,” you huff. “I like the way it tastes.”

Nolan gazes sideways at you before dropping his voice to a near whisper. “Your secret’s safe with me.”

In a streak of boldness that came from god knows where, you place a hand on top of his. He doesn’t retract but doesn’t push forward either. You’re too scared to do anything else, and soon retract your hand and place it in your lap. “So,” you cough. “You need a distraction?”

☀☀☀☀

One comedy special turned into three, and it’s safe to say both you and Nolan are feeling exponentially better than when he knocked on your door. The alcohol flowed until you ran out, but neither of you are drunk. Perhaps tipsy; most definitely content. It’s so nice to enjoy someone’s company without the pressure of maintaining a perfect appearance. Nolan must feel it too, because he slowly begins to open up, talking about his career and ambitions for a life after hockey. You sit quietly, much like your mother had done hours before, as he describes his frustration with the migraines and how he yearns to bond with his teammates.

“I’m just so scared this is it, that I’m done,” he hiccups. 

You tentatively shuffle closer to him, looking for signs that he’s uncomfortable. Once you’re squished beside him, shoulder to shoulder, you take yet another page from your mother’s book. “If tonight is a good indicator of who you are, then you, Nolan Patrick, are going to be just fine. Seems to me that this is nothing but a bump in the road. You’re destined for greatness.”

He smiles, possibly the first completely real one he’s given you all night, and it reaches his eyes. “You really think that?”

“Absolutely. Wouldn’t have said it if I didn’t believe it to be true. You see, in my line of work, truth is of the utmost importance.”

At Nolan’s incessant prodding you talk about school, your thesis, and what you hope to achieve. It doesn’t sting the way you thought it would, possibly because you’re speaking to someone who’s completely enamored with the topic. Academia clearly fascinates Nolan, though he makes it clear he has no interest in joining the community. The only way you can describe the feeling of explaining everything to him is refreshing; he asks insightful questions about your research and isn’t bogged down by the technicalities like so many of your fellow scholars. When you’ve exhausted all you can say and Nolan’s ‘poked’ holes in all of your theories, he gets a serious look and turns so your body is framed by his. 

In this position there’s no denying how attractive he is. Of course you’ve always found him easy to look at when you passed in the halls, but knowing him as intimately as you now do makes you realize how much you like him. “Come to a game with me?” he asks. 

Your rhythm is once again thrown off by the man in front of you. “A game?”

Nolan nods enthusiastically. “A game. I’ve been meaning to go to one for a while, but I can’t find the courage to go alone. The next home game is on Tuesday, but we can obviously go to another one when it fits your schedule. If you want to come, that is.”

He’s yet to be this excited about hockey all night, and who are you to deny your newfound friend something he wants so badly? “Tuesday’s perfect Nolan.” He pumps his fist in happiness and you giggle at his antics. 

“I’m so happy I could kiss you.” It slips out before he realizes, and the shock on his face lets you know it was an accident. 

“You can if you want.”

You’re surprised at your own boldness, but don’t have much time to read into what the statement could mean because Nolan’s leaning in to rest his forehead against yours. 

“Yeah?”

“Yeah.”

The moment his lips touch yours it feels like a homecoming. He’s gentle but firm, letting you know he doesn’t want this to be a one time thing without saying anything at all. Nolan brings to you a sort of warmth that settles in your chest that makes you truly content with how life is going. You lose yourself in him, letting your heart steer the ship. He never waivers from you, only pulling back slightly to card his fingers through your hair. They settle at the nape of your neck and make shivers tingle your spine. You’re impossibly close, but you wish it would never end. After what feels like a millennia you break apart, chests heaving slightly from the lack of oxygen. 

You can’t find the words, but you know you never want to be without Nolan again. All the anguish you experienced earlier feels light years away after a few short hours of truly knowing him. It seems that he’s on the same page, because Nolan makes no effort to remove himself from the situation. In fact, he seems perfect content to never move again: arm comfortably around your shoulder as he places a chaste kiss to the crown of your head. 

“So is Tuesday a date now?” You squeak, voice small. You’re worried you’ve ruined the moment, but he cuts off your overthinking with a squeeze your bicep. 

“It’s whatever you want it to be,” he replies, and you know he means it. 

You can’t help yourself and slot your lips against his once again. “I’d like that a lot. There’s one condition though: I want to meet Gritty.”

Nolan’s laugh echoes off the walls and sounds like the sweetest melody you’ve ever heard. “Think I can manage to pencil you in to the schedule. It has a soft spot for me.”

As he reaches for the remote to put on highlights of the game that’s well over, you shuffle to rest your head comfortably in his lap. Your fingers find his and lazily combine. Nolan mumbles something you don’t quite catch, something about a play Travis made, but you hum in agreement anyways. He’s most likely right. Your eyes begin to droop, and as you fall asleep you forget why you were even sad in the first place. 

☀☀☀☀

taglist: @jamiedrysdales​ if you want to be added shoot me an ask :)

[fantastic-bby]

GOT7 as college professors

Pairing: - 

Word count: 3.1k

Genre: Headcanon | It’s kinda crack I’m ngl

Warnings: - 

Masterlist

Jaebeom

Teaches music and film production 

Dresses very casually (oversized shirts/hoodies and oversized pants)

Gets mistaken as a student a lot 

Has a picture of all of his cats on his desk 

Intimidates students at first glance, but all of them agree that he’s actually one of the chillest professors on campus once they spend time in his classes

Always late to class 

Which is one of the reasons that made the students realise he’s more on the vibey side 

He doesn’t seem to have anything planned when he walks into class 

Places bag onto the table, sits down, looks at everyone and pulls his phone out to play music while he teaches 

He’ll ask them what they wanna learn before he actually even starts the lesson because he’s interested in what they think about the course

When he’s not in class, he’s usually seen with Youngjae and Mark

Avoids talking to BamBam and Yugyeom because he knows that they’re just gonna bully him the entire time 

Always eats at on-campus café that has a pet daycare for anyone who needs to leave their pets while they go off and do work

He spends his time there petting the cats 

The students who own the cats are in love with him because of that 

They come in and it’s like 

“Professor Jaebeom…?”

“Oh, is this your cat? She’s so cute”

They stand there and watch him play with their cats if they didn’t already love him before, they love him way more now

The entire music and film production department is IN LOVE with him 

The students, the other professors, the janitors

They all love him 

They think he’s the sweetest man ever 

Until someone treats his class like it’s ass

Then Jaebeom goes OFF 

The entire class is quiet 

Completely stunned 

Because he is a n g r y 

The student who was purposefully being an ass is staring at him like O-O 

Because no one really expected him to lose his cool 

But if you treat Jaebeom’s class like it’s not worth your time, he will get so mad 

Wouldn’t hesitate to kick you out if you shit on his hard work 

He doesn’t want to let one single person being an ass affect the whole class, so he’ll try to move on from them as quickly as possible

“If you think my class is not worth it, then get out. You chose to take this course, so don’t go around wasting other peoples’ time”

Mark

Teaches mathematics

Dresses in smart casual most of the time, but occasionally dresses fully casual 

Has gotten mistaken as a student a couple of times 

Has a picture of Milo and his family on his desk

Intimidates students because he’s more on the quiet side 

But some of them have seen the way he acts around his friends, so they’re a little bit more comfortable around him 

Cries at graduations

Always arrives to his classes on time except for that one time where he had to clean Milo’s crap off of his carpet

The students actually like him a lot 

He’s very patient with them but has the tendency to get a bit more strict 

Always has his plan ready by the time he’s in class 

Understands that not everyone likes maths and that’s why he’s pretty patient 

Takes his time with students who have a hard time understanding the formulas

Spends his time in-between classes with Jaebeom and Youngjae

Students will see them chilling at the skatepark or at the pet café

Youngjae’s usually just watching them do tricks whenever they’re skating

“Youngjae, do a trick”

“Hyung, I can’t skate”

“Doesn’t mean you can’t try” 

Has most of the campus fawning over how school he looks on his skateboard because he uses it to get around the place 

“Good afternoon, Professor Mark”

The group of students burst into giggles the moment he waves while skating past them 

Is honestly one of the coolest professors on campus 

Even the other professors agree that he’s cool as hell even if Mark won’t admit it 

Usually seen talking with Youngjae about their precious fluffy, white, dog babies usually arguing about which dog is cuter 

Only for Yugyeom to pop in with a picture of Dalkyum 

They stare at him before completely ignoring him because the argument is about two tiny fluffy white dogs 

Then BamBam and Jaebeom come in talking about cats instead and the two of them just give up 

Rarely gets angry in class 

Has once blown up only because someone was being rude to another student in his class 

“Why don’t you do the whole class a favour and just stop being an asshole?” 

The student shuts up immediately 

He gives them a glare before moving on with the lesson 

If he hears them starting shit again then he’ll lose it 

“Dude, if you’re just gonna sit there and shit on someone then just leave” 

That’s enough to get the student leaving the class out of embarrassment because no one had ever gotten Mark pissed off enough to tell them off twice in the same lesson 

Afterwards he just pretends nothing happened and continues to teach the students like normal 

“Who doesn’t understand this concept?” 

Jinyoung

Teaches literature and philosophy 

Campus DILF 

Always dresses formally and has never gotten mistaken as a student before 

Has one single picture of him and his friends from when they went to Italy together on his desk

Everyone’s scared of him 

Who wouldn’t be? 

His resting bitch face makes students scared of attending his lessons sometimes 

Has made a few students cry just by looking at them when he was asking a question

Usually ends up staring at them like :| but can’t do anything about it because his face is just like that 

He wasn’t even angry, he was just… looking at them

Spends most of his time with Jackson but also looks like he tries to escape him half of the time 

Jackson calls him in the middle of a lesson and Jinyoung’s slightly concerned because he thinks something is wrong

“Jinyoung, did you look at the picture I sent you? It’s funny!”

“Professor Jackson, I’m in a class” 

The students find their dynamic really cute 

But it doesn’t make them less scared of Jinyoung 

He walks around campus with so much confidence and ass 

The entire campus fawns over him because they think he’s such a hottie 

He usually denies the attention whenever any of his friends see a student being a bit friendlier towards him

The student in question literally bends over his desk and flirts with him

He kinda ignores their advances because he’s professional like that 

Treats all of his students equally and knows all of their names 

Pays extra attention towards the ones that struggle with the course because he knows how difficult it can be to have to fully understand either literature or philosophy

Has never yelled in class, but the students can tell when he is angry 

Knows exactly who’s paying attention and who’s not because he’s really good at reading his students

Whenever someone disrespects him or the course he’s teaching, he turns around slowly, clicks the cap back onto the marker and gently places it onto the desk 

“What poem are we currently analysing?”

“Uhm…” 

If they get it wrong he gives them this very blank look that has them pissing themselves because they’re already halfway through discussing this one single poem and they’ve spent about two weeks on it

“Wrong. Get out.” 

The student hesitates and Jinyoung lets out a heavy sigh which has them just scrambling straight out of the class 

He picks his marker back up and turns to the giant whiteboard

“For those who don’t bother to even pay attention, we’ve been studying this poem for the past three lessons. Now, can someone tell me what I’ve covered in this lesson alone?” 

Jackson

Teaches sports science

Is literally the most friendly professor on campus 

Gets mistaken as a student all the time because 1. He’s always mingling around the students and 2. He barely ever dresses formally 

Everyone on campus just absolutely loves him because he’s so easy to get along with

It makes his lessons very comfortable to be in 

The students love how he jokes around all the time 

Acts completely unhinged sometimes and likes to bother his friends in the middle of their lessons 

Mostly barges into Jinyoung and Mark’s lessons because he knows the others will barely pay him any attention

“Mark hyung, I learned a new trick”

Straight up does a backflip in the middle of Mark’s classroom

“Professor Jackson, you’re so cool!”

The students love him so much

Basically, everyone on campus knows who he is and everyone just loves him because he’s everywhere at once 

No one minds whenever Jackson shows up unannounced because he usually ends up leaving a mark on the students that has them more excited 

Spends his time with Jinyoung where he’ll drag him to the gym

Will be sitting on his desk, cross-legged by the time students come into class

Will start his class with a joke just to get the students to feel more comfortable with engaging

Every student has had a crush on him at least once

Has had a few students walking into his classroom with gifts and trying to ask him out 

But he just laughs and declines politely 

During graduations, he gets a lot of ‘thank you’ gifts from his students

His heart just melts whenever he gets surprise cards on his desk from students basically telling him how much they enjoyed his class and him in general 

Has the tendency to get distracted in the middle of a lesson but is also able to get back on track really quickly 

Has gotten angry in class once 

And when Jackson’s angry 

He is

A N G R Y

Would full on yell if he needs to

It’s usually a student that’s bullying another student

He can take disrespect to him, but he does not tolerate disrespect towards his students 

“Treat my students like that one more time and you’re not allowed to step foot in my class ever again” 

The person in question is just frozen 

Because, my god, how much of an asshole do you have to be to piss off Jackson 

“Actually, no, get out of my class” 

Jackson won’t ask twice 

He’ll just glare at the student until they leave and when they’re gone, he checks up on his students to make sure they’re okay

“Did they do anything else to you?”

“N-No, sir”

“If they keep bothering you then just let me know. I’ll handle it” 

Youngjae

Teaches performing arts 

Dresses in smart casual 

His smile and laugh lights up the whole classroom 

He’s very gentle with his students and they all appreciate him for that 

Has about four pictures of Coco on his desk 

Will show everyone pictures of her in a cute dress he bought 

Will also brag about how well trained Coco is 

Sometimes arrives to class late because of Coco 

Basically, he loves his daughter and he makes sure everyone knows that he loves her 

He even brings her to graduation because some of his students end up growing attached to her

The students love how calm and chill he is 

Tells a lot of dad jokes that everyone laughs at because they don’t want to make him feel sad or awkward 

Will cheer up everyone and anyone 

Spends his time with Jaebeom at the pet café because that’s where Coco is when he’s on campus 

Sometimes brings her to class with him 

Gets vvvvv flustered if any of the students flirt with him 

Like

Super flustered

He’s blushing all over and he’s completely shocked that they’d mustered up the confidence to approach him that way 

But he always turns them down

Once had his class ended because he tripped over a marker that rolled off of his desk 

The entire class just watched in horror 

Stood up with an awkward laugh before gathering his stuff and bolting out of the classroom because he’s embarrassed

“Professor Youngjae, you didn’t have to run out of class like that…”

“Hahaaaaaaaa” 

Pretends the whole incident didn’t happen

His class is really chill to attend 

Youngjae just wants his students to feel comfortable in his class so he puts in the effort to do so

Tries to be as early as possible to have everything set up before his students show up

Loves all of his students 

Of course there are a few bad seeds here and there, but Youngjae rarely ever gets mad 

There were a couple times where he would scold them for a half-assed assignment or a disruption in class over something really dumb 

But if someone really pissed him off, he wouldn’t blow up 

Youngjae’s not as scary as his members but only because he’s more open with his softer side 

So if he feels like someone in class is either being a disruption or is hurting someone, he doesn’t exactly blow up

He’s very calm about it 

“I’m emailing the counsellor about this”

“I don’t need a counsellor”

“I don’t care if you ‘don’t need a counsellor’. If you’re being an asshole, then you need a counsellor”

BamBam

Teaches fashion design

Is the most stylish person on campus 

Wears all of his gold to class

Doesn’t have physical pictures of his cats on his desk because he has his cat family as his phone wallpaper 

However, he does show off any awards he’s gotten from designing clothes for celebrities in his office 

Has every eye on him when he’s on campus because of how well he dresses

Usually brings his students out for graduation dinners

Is known as the campus stylist 

Students sometimes come to him for fashion advice even if they’re not in his class the college staff do this too

Spends his time with Yugyeom where they spend their time at each other’s office or just walking around campus together 

Will be seen together whether its on campus or off campus

They walk around campus like they own it because they’re that powerful together

Students are intimidated by him at first because he looks so… expensive, but once they actually attend one of his classes they realise that he’s got a heart of gold and is super easy to talk to

His class is extremely chill 

But can also be a bit chaotic sometimes

BamBam’s a really professional person that does very well with trying to make sure the people around him are comfortable

He allows a small bit of chaos to fill his classroom because it relieves any tension 

And by chaos, it’s allowing Jackson  to come in and basically teach the lesson with him 

What’s a sports science professor supposed to know about fashion designing?? 

BamBam just sits back and watches while Jackson stares at the sketch of a model that’s being projected onto the screen 

“So, uhh, you need to make sure they have… sleeves”

“And?”

“Uhh… the dress is ugly?”

“Anyone in the class can answer what the problem with this sketch is?”

A student raises their hand and BamBam nods to allow them to answer 

“Sir, the colours aren’t that nice together. The green is too bright and just doesn’t go well with the pink at all”

“Correct”

BamBam’s style also helps when he’s conducting a lesson 

Uses his own outfit as examples

“See this white blazer? This outfit wouldn’t be as eye-catching without something contrasting my black turtleneck ” 

Does not tolerate assholes 

Students aren’t exactly scared of him

Has a handful of admirers, but no one’s mustered up the courage to actually talk to him about it because the one time someone did

BamBam kinda 

Laughed

Then he felt bad about it because he realised they weren’t joking

Because he’s so young, it's easy for students to relate to him 

But when he gets mad at someone who starts to disrespect him, oof 

BamBam isn’t scared of swearing in his class and neither is he scared of lashing out if he feels like he needs to

Especially if someone is intentionally disturbing the other students because they’re being an ass

“Get the fuck out of my class” 

“B-but, sir”

“Another word out of that mouth and you’re not seeing me for the rest of the semester”

Yugyeom

Teaches modeling 

Has pictures of him and his friends and Dalkyum on his desk 

Dresses casually most of the time but asks BamBam for good outfits for when he needs to show examples to his class 

Bambam likes to style him up every once in awhile which helps Yugyeom a lot

Spends his time with BamBam the two of them make a very powerful duo

They’re only so powerful together because when you combine Yugyeom’s modeling with BamBam’s style, you get a pair of the hottest professors on campus 

Is on time for his classes but sometimes is late because he spent the previous night having dance competitions with Jaebeom and Jinyoung

His class is actually really strict 

Because modeling means having really good control of your entire body to be able to express what you’re trying to model for 

Yugyeom takes it very seriously

Students are very intimidated by him 

They know when to be playful with him and when not to and during class is when they have to be professional

Is really friendly with the students when he sees them around campus 

Allows only Jinyoung into his class because he knows that the others would end up causing chaos if they’re together 

Sometimes lets him model for his class 

“Hyung, could you pose for my class, please?”

Is very professional with his friends if he’s conduction a lesson 

But outside of it…

“Hyung, you looked like a vulture when you entered my class”

“I’m never modeling for your students ever again”

Is more on the quiet side like Jinyoung is 

His looks can kill 

He doesn’t have a resting bitch face like his hyung has, but he knows how to intimidate using his face

And he uses it against his students whenever he needs to

He’s also not that scared of going off either 

But it’s more of the very quiet kind of angry

Will not hesitate to kick someone out if they’re not cooperating 

“Get the fuck out of my class before I physically go over there and kick you out myself”

Which is why a lot of the students are very scared of him whenever he’s teaching 

He doesn’t tolerate any kind of bullshittery and if he feels like you’re half-assing his class, then he’ll go off on you 

But if he thinks that you’re just struggling to keep up, he’d be more than happy to help 

Is very kind and very patient if someone needs extra help understanding something 

Because he genuinely wants them to succeed 

“Is there something here that you don’t understand? I can get one of the other students to help tutor you if you’d like” 

[wonderlustlucas]

the visit - hwang hyunjin

⇢ prompt “And do what? Watch another horror so you can cry?” ⇢ pairing hyunjin x female reader ⇢ word count 1.8k ⇢ genre fluff & little smut but not really ⇢ warnings swearing, make out sesh & a little grinding action ⇢ summary “hwang hyunjin x female reader. Genre is up to you, please (fluff/smut) ~ Theme - Hyunjin and his s/o are watching a horror movie. And s/o laughs a lot, being rational and isn't scared at all. While Hyunjin is ehh a scared drama queen? haha”—request ; friends to lovers!au

You’re beginning to think inviting Hyunjin to your dorm to watch The Visit with you wasn’t the best idea.

It’s not like you had many other choices. With your roommate having gone home for the weekend and Hyunjin’s dorm only a few doors down, it was your best option. And on the typical occasion, you wouldn’t be complaining; usually, you are more than happy to spend time with one of your newer friends who not only makes you smile so hard it hurts, but also happens to be ridiculously handsome. You know. As a plus.

You should have guessed that Hyunjin isn’t a horror kind of person. Seriously— he’s a pretty rose-colored glasses, happy-go-lucky guy. So why he agreed to watch one such movie with you in the first place is beyond your level of judging expertise.

You’re trying to not get ahead of yourself.

Hyunjin lets out an audible gasp when it is revealed who the ‘grandparents’ truly are. You can’t help but pause the movie, trying to stifle a laugh. “Are you for real?” You ask, turning to look at him. “You didn’t realize who they were?” Somewhere in the back of your head, you take note of how unfairly cute he looks right now, lying on his stomach beside you with his face smooshed into one of your pillows.

“Um, no?” He scoffs like it’s the most reasonable thing ever, sending you an unamused glare.

“You’re dense.”

You start to feel bad as the movie draws closer to its end. To you, the movie is stupid; totally predictable and you can’t stop laughing. Hyunjin, on the other hand, is not having as fun of a time. Clearly frightened—or, maybe just overwhelmed—by the sudden and rather aggressive turn of events, he finds it much more disturbing and you begin to find yourself focusing more on the way he keeps flinching rather than the movie.

“Okay,” you finally quip, slapping your laptop closed, “I think that’s enough.”

“What?” Hyunjin hollers, leaning up on his elbows. “What are you doing?”

“You’re clearly freaked out, Hyunjin. You should have just told me you didn’t like horror movies and stayed in your dorm,” grumbling, you miss the hurt that flashes across his face when you reach back to retrieve your phone.

“Then I wouldn’t get to see you,” he admits, keeping his gaze glued on you as you come back down next to him. You momentarily forget how to breathe, heat making its way up your neck to settle on your cheeks. He can’t help but smile to himself at the reaction.

“Well,” you cough, “we could have watched something else.”

“No matter how disturbing it is,” Hyunjin hums, reopening your laptop, “I have to see how it ends.”

Reluctant, you look to him with a frown and momentarily wonder if he’s trying to prove something. You certainly hope not. Before you can even make sure he really wants to continue, Hyunjin offers the softest of smiles for reassurance and you can’t help but send one back. He simply has that effect. With one last sigh, you quickly type in your password and reposition yourself; this time, a little closer to him. “Fine,” you sigh, continuing the movie, “but if you cry or something, I’m going to laugh.”

He doesn’t cry. In fact, he’s stiff as a board, face devoid of emotion as he keeps his eyes glued to the screen. It isn’t until you shift to rest your head on his arm does the smallest of smiles appear on his lips. And before you know it, the movie is ending and you realize you have spent the last twenty minutes or so transfixed on Hyunjin rather than the film’s conclusion. Oh well.

“That was interesting,” you offer. You’re not sure what to think at the moment. A part of you likes to believe one too many lines were crossed this evening for friends who only met at the beginning of this semester, but the more reasonable side is convinced Hyunjin would never see you as anything more than that. Friends.

“I think you’re a liar,” Hyunjin quips unexpectantly, brows furrowed when you whip back to face him. “I think you’re scared, but you just play it off and laugh ‘cause you don’t want to blow the little façade you got going.”

You scoff, leaning back on an elbow to regard him. “I’ve seen some scary movies, Hyunjin, but this definitely wasn’t one of them. Get the hell out of here.”

“But I wanted to stay,” he whines with a pout of his lips. Fuck, if you were knee-deep in shit before, you might as well be drowning now. “And do what? Watch another horror so you can cry?” You challenge like always, blowing off what could be flirting because it just seems too outrageous to you. “No,” Hyunjin frowns, suddenly serious and it turns your blood to ice.

“What, then?” You laugh airily, looking away for the sake of your own sanity and watching the movie’s credits intently. The silence is deafening, dragging on for so long you begin to fear that he can hear how heavily your heart is beating. Finally, you muster up the courage to look back at Hyunjin who, to your surprise, seems to have been regarding you quietly the entire time. “What?”

“Can I kiss you?” Hyunjin asks in a rush.

“What?” You blurt, nearly choking on the air you heave and staring back at him with wide eyes. “Why would you want to do that?”

Hyunjin rolls his eyes, deserting his pillow in favor of sitting up to lean against the wall. “Do you want the confession version or the dirty version?” He asks like it means nothing at all, the corners of his eyes scrunched in amusement. You nearly choke—again.

“Dirty?” You repeat, bewildered. At this point, you must have died and gone to heaven to hear Hwang Hyunjin even utter such words. You scramble to sit up, keeping a safe distance from the boy talking absolute buffoonery at you.

“My friends were talking about you,” he starts, and instantly the alarms begin ringing in your brain. Hyunjin is one thing, but his friends? They’re an entirely new level of terrifying, and the fact that he’s using plural friends has your heart racing. “No, no, no. I actually don’t wanna know,” you interrupt, waving your hands for him to stop and opting to look at the now dark screen of your laptop.

Hyunjin ignores you. “They’ve been talking about your ass for weeks now after you wore this one pair of jeans, and it’s driving me absolutely nuts because, yeah, your ass is great, but it also made me realize how possessive I feel about you. I don’t think I can handle another day listening to them wonder ‘what that mouth do,’ because now I can’t help but wonder, and it’s fucking me up because I really like you and I love spending time with you but then you’ll do some nonchalant shit like… just the way you leaned back. It makes my head spin. And I hate knowing anyone else is thinking of you the way I do. But like, if you don’t feel the same way and don’t want to kiss me, I get it. We’re probably just a bunch of horny teenage boys to you, and I don’t know why you would want me of all—”

“Jesus Christ, shut up,” you groan, hastily waddling on your knees until you’re close enough to swing a leg over his lap and cup his face in your hands. For a moment, you hesitate—pausing to look him in the eyes and wondering whether you should offer some sort of confession in return. Later, you decide. Because right now, whether it’s from the words that just left his mouth or simply how delectable he looks up close, giving Hyunjin a damn kiss is your best option.

It’s nothing more than a peck—once, twice, three times, on the fourth, however, Hyunjin finally seems to come to his senses. With one hand sliding up your back to press you closer and the other coming to cradle your jaw and angle it to his liking, three simple pecks quickly evolve into much more. And for the time being, you’re entirely lost in the plushness of his lips and the taste of his tongue and the fire his touch leaves behind as he reaches for everything but nothing all at once.

“Hyunjin,” you squeak out without even meaning to. You hadn’t even meant to stop kissing him, but here you are, fingers twisting in his shirt and body throbbing with a need you did not think you would feel tonight. “Yes?” He hums, making his way down your neck with the way you tilt back for him, littering your skin with pillowy kisses in between the small bruises he sucks along the way.

“Shit, I don’t know,” you manage breathlessly, subconsciously trying to wrap your legs around his hips so that the slow roll of your core against him does more to satisfy your growing desire. “You have a problem down there?” Hyunjin whispers, noticing the determined movement and dropping a hand buried in your hair to grip at your thigh, thumb tapping at your clothed center, just a few centimeters below your most sensitive nerves. Still, it has electricity coursing through your veins and you nod hastily, lifting your hips to try and position yourself so his thumb presses into your clit.

Realizing what you are trying to do, Hyunjin clicks his tongue and moves his hand further away, stifling a laugh when you whimper. “Jesus, ___, what happened to you? I didn’t expect you to be so needy,” the fucker giggles, lifting you by the hips to guide you into spinning around and sitting between his legs, back now pressed to his chest.

“I didn’t expect Hwang Hyunjin of all people to tell me he’s possessive of me,” you retort despite how lightheaded you feel with the way his hands roam, one hand dipping under your sweatshirt to slide over the warm skin of your stomach and give your breast a squeeze; the other trailing over the waistband of your shorts.

“It’s true,” Hyunjin sighs dreamily, pressing a kiss to the crown of your head. Instinctively, you drop your head against his shoulder and tilt to kiss the curve of his neck, unable to fight your smile. “Before we do anything though, ___, I have to know,” he clears his throat, fingers finally slipping beneath the fabric of your shorts and underwear, “is this going to be a one-time thing?”

This question in itself is enough to sober you from the desire clouding your mind. Leaning up just enough so you can twist around and look him in the eyes, you offer Hyunjin a reassuring smile before anything else.

“No,” you answer, pressing a soft kiss to his lips, “we still have so many horror movies to watch together.”

[wydguk]

exile - kth

pairing: taehyung x reader (ft. namjoon x reader)

genre: angst, tae and y/n are exes

warnings: really angsty.... there are arguments and screaming matches in here... sort of toxic relationship? they're bad at communication

word count: 3.4k

summary: it took you five whole minutes to pack the entirety of your relationship with taehyung and to leave.

note: I'M BACK!! namjoon has like one line in this i'm so sorry T.T there's like zero fluff. like absolutely no fluff. and chaeyoung makes an appearance in this! it's up to you if u wanna picture park chaeyoung (rosé) as chae or son chaeyoung from twice as chae lol.

ALSO! this is based on taylor swift and bon iver's song exile on the folklore album! i do not own the song or the lyrics in any way, shape or form.

/

i can see you standing, honey

with his arms around your body

taehyung walks out of the store, scrolling through his phone. his day is just as mundane as it was yesterday and will be tomorrow. it’s been mundane since he last saw you.

his feet suddenly come to a stop when he hears your laugh ahead of him, but he shakes his head, reprimanding himself for thinking about you again. he’s about to continue his way down the street when he hears you laughing again and he looks away from his phone to see you laughing in someone else's arms.

he blinks. once, twice.

you’re there. you’re really there. he can hear his heart pounding in his ears and falling to his feet and jumping up into his throat all at once at the mere sight of you. you seem to notice him too, eyes widening before looking up at whoever you’re with. only then does taehyung register the fact that you’re not alone — you’re with someone else while he still wonders what went wrong every night before he sleeps.

you look happy. pure, genuine happiness is written in your eyes. the stranger’s arms are wrapped around you as you avoid taehyung’s eyes, continuing down the street as you listen to what your partner is saying. taehyung feels sick to his stomach.

laughin', but the joke's not funny at all

“you know, i’ve been thinking about removing my spine. i feel like it’s only holding me back!”

as you walk closer towards taehyung, he can hear the joke the other man is making.

you let out another laugh just as you walk right past him and he frowns. that is one of the worst jokes taehyung has ever heard and you laughed at it like it’s one of the best. which is misleading, considering the fact that taehyung used to tell you jokes all the time. his jokes were definitely funny. how have your standards gotten so low?

he lets out a breath he didn’t even realise he’d been holding, but this only allows him to smell your perfume, and it’s still the same perfume he’d given you on your last birthday.

your last birthday is probably the last time he really felt content. whole.

to pack us up and leave me with it

and it took you five whole minutes

holdin' all this love out here in the hall

taehyung doesn’t like to think of you because in spite of all the good memories, your last argument still ricochets in his head. withstanding the shouts and crashes is impossible when all he wants is to remember you laying in his arms, sharing a tub of ice cream.

three weeks after your birthday, you and taehyung sit at the dining table in silence, staring down intensely at your food. you haven’t fought since the week after your birthday, when you threw insults at each other just because the other couldn’t keep up with chores, or call to say they were okay. taehyung still thinks about the way you shouted at him.

-

“i don’t remember why i ever wanted to be with you!”

taehyung exhales, running a hand through his hair. “you don’t mean that, y/n. you’re just upse-”

“upset? yeah, i am upset. why shouldn’t i be? am i the one making mistakes? no! it’s you. it’s all you, taehyung!” you yell. “you have some nerve, taehyung.”

“so now it’s my fault? everything is my fault, because you’ve been the perfect girlfriend this whole time. you haven’t made a single mistake, and you have nothing to own up to, because you’re just so, so perfect, aren’t you, y/n?” taehyung is breathless and his blood is boiling.

“shut up! i don’t care. talk to me when you’re mature enough to own up to your mistakes.” you walk off and slam the bedroom door, leaving taehyung speechless. “real mature, y/n! go ahead, keep slamming the doors like it makes you any more mature.”

-

taehyung is jolted back into the present when he hears you set your fork down onto your plate. “tae, are you going to finish that? i’m about to wash the dishes,” you speak quietly, standing up to go to the kitchen. “i’ll wash it myself,” he replies, and he watches you enter the kitchen without a word.

he follows you in after a few minutes, where you’ve just finished washing your own dishes. instead of leaving, you lean against the island counter and he looks back at you. “i think we need to talk, tae.”

taehyung lets out a low chuckle as he looks down at the sink. “go ahead,” he’d already seen this coming, but now that it’s here, he doesn’t know how to act.

you’re silent. only when taehyung faces you do you speak. “i think we should break up,” you start. “i know,” he replies. “is this okay with you?” you reach out for his hand but he runs it through his hair before you get the chance to.

“y/n, you don’t have to stay if you’re not happy. regardless if i’m okay with it or not, i can’t just ask you to stay for my sake.” he sighs. he’s handling this better than he thought.

“thank you, taehyung.” you’re crying, but you wipe away your tears before they can fall. “i’ll… i’ll go soon.” you don’t look at him because you if you do, you know you’ll be crying your eyes out and convincing yourself to stay.

taehyung sits on the couch and stares straight ahead at the television screen, which is playing an action movie he has no intention to pay any mind to. all he can focus on is the sound of you shuffling around behind him, packing everything you own into your suitcase. he thinks about how easy it is for you to pack up the entirety of your relationship in a few minutes.

“tae?” you call out, standing by the door. his heart shatters when he realizes this is probably the last time he’ll see you in a long time. he gets off the couch and takes in your face, capturing your visage into his memory one last time. when you reach out for his hand, he doesn’t avoid it again. he won’t be able to do this again.

“i love you,” he whispers. “i love you too,” you look down at your intertwined hands before walking out and closing the door, leaving all the love behind with taehyung.

if you’ve thought about him since then, you won’t admit it, and he doesn’t know it.

i think i've seen this film before

and i didn't like the ending

taehyung refuses to think about the breakup again. he hates the way it ended.

you're not my homeland anymore

so what am i defending now?

taehyung watches you walk farther and farther away from him, and all he wants to do is reach out for you. he wants to rip you away from that stranger and feel you in his arms again, feel your warm hand in his.

but you’re not his anymore, and he let you go all those months ago. he has no reason to feel this way. the green eyed monster shouldn’t be clawing away at his rational thoughts, yet still taehyung’s feet are begging to let him run after you and make you his again. he wants to return things back to the way they were, to the pure love you had for each other.

he has no reason to feel this way.

you were my town, now i'm in exile, seein' you out

when did things change? you were his home and his heart. it’s been months and he still doesn’t understand.

i can see you starin', honey

like he's just your understudy

you’re laughing at another one of namjoon’s jokes when you feel someone’s eyes on you, their stare heavy. when you look ahead, it’s taehyung. the same taehyung who you left alone in his apartment all those months ago. the same taehyung you laid with in bed every night. the same taehyung whose shirt you spilt coffee all over, and the same taehyung you met at the museum all those years ago.

it’s taehyung.

your eyes widen and you turn away as quicker than you can blink, muttering underneath your breath. “it’s my ex.” namjoon’s grip around you tightens. sneaking a glance at taehyung again, you can see how his eyes are unblinking. it’s not written on his face or in his body language, but from his eyes alone you can already tell how he feels about namjoon.

there is nothing violent or scary about his stare, but it’s almost arrogant. he looks at namjoon like he’s just a temporary replacement despite the fact that you both know you’re never getting back together.

like you'd get your knuckles bloody for me

taehyung isn’t a violent person. he’s the type of person to calmly talk things out, the type of person to break up a fight. he’d never even hurt a fly. once, you watched as he picked up a spider and let it crawl across the balcony railing while you shrieked from inside.

so it’s shocking when you watch as his hands twitch and his jaw clenches. taehyung’s definitely protective, but what does he have to protect now? why does he look like he’s about to pummel namjoon into the ground? he agreed to let you go.

second, third, and hundredth chances

balancin' on breaking branches

you gave him so many chances. so many opportunities to apologize.

but did he? no.

those eyes add insult to injury

he probably thinks you got over him quicker than you did. in fact, it took you weeks that bled into months to get over him. there were numerous occasions where you considered knocking on his door and taking it all back, but you never could. it drained you emotionally just thinking about it.

“he made you so happy, y/n,” chaeyoung says as she tries to shake you out of your trance. “just text him or something.” giving up, she flops down next to you on the bed, snatching the tub of ice cream out of your hands.

you groan, shoving your face deeper into the pillow. “he hurt me so bad, chae. i don’t know if i can just forget about it all just to go back to him,” you sit up and let her feed a spoonful of ice cream into your mouth.

“you don’t have to date him again, dummy. it’d still be a good idea for you to get some closure at the very least, right?” you hate how chaeyoung is always right, especially when it comes to these situations. “i don’t want closure.” you state grumpily. “i’m just gonna stay here with you every day and cry about how much i miss him.”

“if you’re gonna do that at least buy your own ice cream…” she hums, and you grin at her before eating another spoonful.

you don’t like the way he’s looking at namjoon. it only rubs in the fact that he’s being jealous when he has no right to be.

it’s completely unfair.

i'm not your problem anymore

so who am i offending now?

before you broke up, he was always complaining about the little things you would or wouldn’t do, nitpicking at the simplest of details. in time, you got used to his nagging and he got used to your habits. even now, in your head, you still hear his voice reminding you to do this and not to do that.

his friends didn’t seem to like you all that much, so you tended to stay home whenever taehyung invited you to spend the night out with his friends. although he’d always frowned whenever you turned him down, he’d brush it off and leave you alone to your sleepless nights waiting up for him.

“text me next time if you’re coming home late, okay?” you whisper as you look at his fluttering eyelashes under the covers.

“i will,” he mumbles sleepily before drifting off, arms tightly wrapped around you.

he never remembered to text you.

it’s foolish of him to look at you like that. he looks agitated and offended and sad all at once but what could you do? he wasn’t yours and you weren’t his to take care of anymore.

i think i've seen this film before

so i'm leaving out the side door

you hate the way he’s making you feel in only a few short seconds, so you look up at namjoon again and laugh at whatever joke he’s making again. it took you this long to get over taehyung and you weren’t going to throw it all away just because you’ve seen him again.

so step right out, there is no amount

of crying i can do for you

when taehyung arrives home, the first thing he does when he gets into his bed is cry. he’s always been alarmingly good at suppressing his emotions but seeing you again after so long has taken its toll on him.

he hasn’t cried like this in a while, but it hurts just as much as the last time.

-

two hours later, taehyung stares up at the ceiling when he suddenly feels the urge to text you. before he knows it, his fingers are typing away uncontrollably and pressing the send button. instead of reading what he sent you, he sets his phone down on his bedside table and falls asleep.

when you arrive home that night, you check your notifications and choke on your spit when you see that taehyung has sent you a message. “chae,” you call out, throwing yourself onto the couch. humming, she comes out of her room. “taehyung texted me.”

her eyes bulge out as she throws herself onto you and pulls your phone out of your grasp. “no way!” she yells, standing up and raising her hands up to her mouth. “you’re kidding me!”

“don’t get too excited!” you laugh, sitting up straight. “he just wants to meet for coffee. it’s no big deal!”

“no big deal? y/n, you haven’t spoken since you broke up!” she lets out a breath, placing her hands on her hips. “he has some god-level timing. right when you and namjoon start going out? unbelievable.”

you reach for your phone, almost tumbling off the couch when chaeyoung pretends she's not returning it to you. begrudgingly sighing, she throws the phone into your lap and cuddles into your side and continues her earlier humming. "it doesn't matter if namjoon asked me out or not. there's going to be nothing romantic about our meetup. we're just gonna talk about whatever he wants to talk about and that's it!" you decide. if you keep repeating it to yourself in your head like a mantra you might start to believe it.

"isn't it strange though? how he's texting you out of nowhere after months and months? he's thinking about you, y/n!" chaeyoung giggles.

"well," you start. "i did see him earlier today while i was out on my date with namjoon…" chaeyoung whips her head around to look at you, shock written all over her face. "y/n, you're joking," squealing, she flails her legs around giddily. "you guys are meant to be. nsmjoon won't mind. he'll understand when he sees you two together."

"chae!" you whine. it would be devastating to break namjoon's heart after how good he's been to you. "i can't break his heart like that, he's done nothing wrong! he's a perfectly sweet guy and he really does care about me."

"are we talking about taehyung or namjoon?" chaeyoung teases, a smirk on her lips.

"chae…" you groan.

"fine, fine! i'll stop. but you have to meet him for that coffee. it's going to be the best coffee meeting you'll ever have in your life. i can feel it in my bones."

you hate how you hope she's right.

-

never being the patient type, your leg bounces restlessly as you wait for taehyung at your table. the coffees you bought for the two of you are still steaming hot when you look up to the sound of the door bells jingling and lock eyes with taehyung, who gives you a sheepish smile.

"hey," he starts. sliding into the chair opposite you. "you didn't have to get me this," he motions toward the coffee.

pushing his cup closer towards him, you shake your head, a tight-lipped smile plastered across your face. "it's nothing," you reply. "so why did you want to meet me here?"

unbeknownst to namjoon, you didn't cancel your plans with him because you had a supposed dentist appointment. if you told him you were going to meet taehyung he surely would've stood guard outside your door to prevent you from leaving while chae would lecture him on letting you make your own decisions.

it was easier this way.

"i just figured we haven't talked in a while. what's up with you? how's it going?" he says. you narrow your eyes at him and take a sip of your coffee. "what reason do we have to talk? we're not in each other's lives anymore." you decide. setting down your cup, your fingers lightly drum against the table, and you watch as his face drops and his eyebrows furrow.

"maybe if you didn't walk out on us we'd still be in each other's lives," he mutters. "w-what?" you gasp, taken aback. "you let me go! i asked you and you said it was fine. would you rather have us both unhappy but still in a relationship?"

leaning back, he sighs. "i was happy, y/n. you-"

"but not happy enough! not the natural happiness that wasn't always on the edge of turning sour. didn't you notice, taehyung? all this time, we've always walked a very thin line." you rant, your feelings getting the best of you. "i didn't and i don't want you to settle for the bare minimum, lo- taehyung." your heart stutters when you almost let his old pet name slip, his eyes meeting yours, unblinking.

taehyung stares at you for a moment. "and how did you know, y/n? that i wasn't happy? that i wasn't content or whole in our relationship?" you pause, throat constricting. "yea, i let you go. but i didn't want to. not for a single second did i ever consider willingly letting you slip away from me. but what could i do? you still left, i had to let you because i knew you'd be happier. but ypu, you didn't even hear me out, and you never gave a warning sign."

"i gave so many signs!" you protest. "i-"

"and i was just supposed to catch on? you couldn't even say it straight to my face?" he's unrelenting, eyes burning holes into your soul. he's angry and he's hurting and you know it's partially your fault. maybe even wholly. "all this time, i never learned to read your mind." he scoffs.

"yea, i guess you never learned to read my mind. and i'm sorry i expected that much from you! but you never turned things around. you didn't try to figure out what was going wrong and if we could mend it." you sputter, and you feel your cheeks starting to heat up.

"i'm saying! you never gave a warning sign. what could i do?" you've never seen taehyung look so small and defeated, and your heart aches in your chest. all you want to do is take him into your arms and tell him everything will be alright.

yet you can't. maybe all those months ago you could've. and you thought you had moved on and you thought he had too, but it's become glaringly obvious that none of you have.

"tae…" his eyes widen and he blinks at you. "taehyung! taehyung. i should go…" you murmur. taking his hand, you study the lines on his palm and the divots on his knuckles and let out a watery smile.

"you always do," he replicates your smile and watches as you stand up. "i love you."

"i love you too," you whisper.

when you walk away, you half expect him to chase after you and beg for you to stay, but you know it's too selfish of you to want it.

when you walk away, he half expects you to turn around like they always do in the movies, but he knows your pride always gets the best of you.

you've both seen this film before, and neither of you liked the ending.

/

note: very unedited and also this was a bitch to re-stylize on tumblr. thank you very much for reading! like or reblog if you enjoyed it and feel free to tell me what u think :) my asks and my dms are always open!

[lovedsammy]

All right. I’ve seen El Camino twice now because the first time I was way too emotional to really give my thoughts on it. The second time around, I really got to think about the movie as a whole. And I really, really loved it. 9/10 for me.

I love that this movie centers not just on Jesse, but those who’ve shaped him as the man he’s become by the end of the movie. Those people being Walt, Mike, Jane, Brock, and unfortunately Todd and his gang. The movie’s premise was about an abused man trying to escape the horrors he’s suffered and get to freedom. That was it. Would I have liked to have seen more? Hell yes. But then we’d have a 4+ hour movie (something I’d be okay with tbh) but just seeing the end to Jesse’s story was enough for me.

- I loved that Jesse’s PTSD wasn’t brushed aside. While it became less apparent throughout the movie, the implication is still there that Jesse is both literally and emotionally scarred for life. He’s going to have days where his torture breaks him. He’s going to take a long time to heal, if he ever does. But we’re left with hope that he’s going to be okay.

- Speaking of the PTSD, the abuse Jesse suffered was.... horrendous. The dark scares him. Hot showers are a trigger because he was subject to water torture. He has scars on his back from having to run around the lab with a harness strapped to his back yanking him painfully back and forth while his captors laugh. And I’m sure there’s a hell of a lot more that we didn’t see. But we didn’t need to. It was awful enough. I was crying so much seeing those scenes and didn’t know how I was going to get through the first 10 minutes at first. I kept pausing because I was crying too much. I didn’t know if I was going to be able to handle the entire movie if it was like that. Luckily it wasn’t.

- The ending was perfect and everything I wanted. He’s free, in Alaska, away from the horror of it all and able to be his own man. He can live in peace and quiet and try live a semblance of a normal life. Seeing his content smile at the end vs the erratic, crying/screaming reaction in Felina.. it was a striking parallel. Jesse was free in Felina, but only physically. This movie was him being free in every sense of the word.

- The plot, while not overly riveting, does just what it needs to. Jesse needs money. How does he get that? He remembers where Todd had it, because Todd was so careless to show Jesse his apartment. Todd didn’t think Jesse would ever try and escape and would never succeed in doing so. He could tell Jesse because Jesse was an obedient pet and wouldn’t go anywhere. All the while Jesse is trying to evade not just the police, but also the last of his kidnappers. The scene where he realizes the two weren’t cops and instead were working for Todd was nerve-wracking. Especially the one guy who built his literal shackles. He had to escape from that guy, too. Not just Todd and Jack’s gang.

- The shootout was badass. Jesse didn’t want to kill anymore but he had no choice if he wanted to be really free. Killing them was him killing the last of his demons.

- I LOVE the fact that it was Mike who made the Alaska suggestion. Jesse went there as one last attempt to honor Mike. Their relationship is one of my fave things about the show and I love that we see how Mike shaped Jesse. In the shootout scene, Jesse was very reminiscent of Mike, too.

- Jesse choosing to remember Walt as the kind family man who wanted him to go to college and not the asshole he became and tearing up at hearing his death... kill me. How is this boy still so empathetic and forgiving even after everything he’s been through? I don’t think he forgave Walt, not really, but he’s choosing to remember him in a better light and that speaks volumes about Jesse’s character.

- Seeing Jane again was so emotional, especially while Jesse is driving to freedom in Alaska. He’s taking her advice and going where he chooses to. He’s making his own way, his own path. Very fitting since the title “El Camino” can translate to “the path” or “the way.”

- I actually like that Ed (the disappearer) made Jesse work for his 2nd chance, even if it was frustrating. He wanted to see how badly Jesse wanted this, and Jesse was determined. When Ed is reading Jesse’s letter to Brock at the end, I think he saw some of the pain that Jesse’s endured and realized he needed a fresh start more than anyone. Jesse earned it.

- the letter to Brock hurt me. That is all.

- Skinny Pete & Badger are the best friends Jesse could ever ask for. They were so gentle with him and empathized and really tried to help him. I love them so much for that.

For those of us that love Jesse, I feel this film was not only essential but healing. I loved it so much. I can’t wait to rewatch it more and more.

[kittae]

Bottoms Up

Pairing: Kim Taehyung x reader

Side characters: Min Yoongi, Jey

Summary: A drabble series where Taehyung is a successful artistic erotica actor but has to expand his areas of expertise in the rapidly evolving world of adult film. Lost and inexperienced in everything that doesn’t involve classy settings, flattering lighting and romantic scripts, he basically has to start from scratch to make it in the online porn community. As a highly demanded A-lister in that community, you take him under your wings (or better yet, between your legs).

Genre: Smut, fluff, a bit of comedy here and there. Maybe some angst, who knows.

words: 1368

Disclaimer: Slight alcohol intoxication, dialogue-heavy, foul language, both of them had too much to drink and are being annoying lmao

« previous — next »

“I trusted you! You’ve betrayed my trust!” Taehyung wails, dramatically flinging himself against the wall of Yoongi’s living room.

“Stop acting, you’re going to drain yourself.” Yoongi murmurs as he pours himself another drink. “Besides, why are you being like this in the first place? The shoot went better than expected, you should be celebrating with me instead of fake crying.”

“I’m not fake crying.”

“Yes, you are and you know what else you are?” Yoongi takes a sip of his whiskey, “Killing my buzz.”

Taehyung merely pouts, knowing his crocodile tears aren’t going to coax sympathy out of the slightly tipsy older man. “You should’ve discussed this with me in advance.”

“You know, I totally would’ve if you hadn’t been such a stubborn baby about the whole ordeal from the beginning. I could barely get you to agree to the shoot, heavens know how you would have reacted if I told you about the seminars.”

“You know what?” Taehyung scoffs, heated, “I’m sorry if I inconvenienced you by showing my true feelings towards your off-putting suggestions.”

Yoongi snorts, rolling his eyes and taking a rather large gulp from his glass.

“But I am who I am and I thought you supported me! You’re making plans behind my back instead.” Taehyung presses on, crossing his arms in displeasure. He didn’t come here with the intention of making a fuss considering everything went shockingly well today, yet he needs to make sure that Yoongi knows how he feels about the secretive way he handled things.

“If I don’t make plans behind your back sometimes, we’re not gonna get anywhere,” Yoongi calmly explains, gesturing with the crystal glass in his hand, “You only got to expand your boundaries today because I arranged it like that and that’s what being partners is all about.”

“No,” Taehyung slowly counters, “Being partners is about trust and honesty, which is the opposite of what you did today.”

“Noooo, I really don’t feel like arguing right now,” Yoongi groans as he slouches further into his padded couch, “Can’t we just hold hands and call it a day?”

Taehyung squeezes his eyes to slits, “Don’t try to bribe me into forgiving you, hyung.”

“Why not? You do it all the time.” The manager grumbles, reaching for the bottle to prevent his glass from getting empty.

After fiddling with the buttons of his silk, albeit questionably patterned shirt, Taehyung sighs and collects himself. He then goes over to Yoongi’s liquor cabinet to fetch a glass identical to that of his manager.

“What are you doing?” Yoongi asks, an amused look on his face.

Tae shrugs as he flops down next to his friend and plucks the bottle right out of his hand. “Getting a drink.”

“You hate alcohol.”

“Correct,” Taehyung responds matter-of-factly, “I just like the aesthetic of swirling scotch around in a crystal glass while I ponder over what you could do to get my trust back.”

Yoongi scoffs. “How about not kicking you out of my apartment? Sounds good?” He raises his brows, briefly letting the amber liquor tickle his tongue, savoring the slight burn when it hits his throat. “You’re here more than at your own place. You’re lucky I’m not charging you for rent and unwanted sleepovers.”

“You wouldn’t dare!” Taehyung gasps.

“You are the only one allowed in my apartment and even you will lose your apartment privileges if you won’t quit it.” Yoongi warns seriously. “And those include storm cuddles and hurricane hangouts.”

Taehyung look absolutely horrified and gulps hard before taking a big swig of the whiskey in pure misery. Needless to say he instantly regrets it, the liquid too sharp and the vile taste of alcohol burning through his throat. He coughs dramatically as if he’d just drank poison, with Yoongi already on his way to the kitchen to get him a diet coke to wash it down –although not without an eyeroll or two.

“I swear you’re worse than a baby sometimes.” He sighs as he opens the can for his teary-eyed younger friend who reaches for the soda as if it’s his only lifeline. “Bet seeing you like this would burst more than a few bubbles of the women who love your films.”

Taehyung says nothing, too busy chugging the coke ad fundum. Only when any trace of the whiskey taste is gone, can he relax. And he does, with a big, content smile on his face.

“Love you, hyung. You know that, right?” He coos, nestling his head on the older man’s shoulder, who responds with a barely suppressed sound of disgust.

“Fuck’s sake Taehyung, did you get drunk from that one sip already?” Yoongi frets, exasperated.

“Sometimes... people w-won’t never adjust to changes.” Tae offers a vague explanation, followed by a hiccup as he makes himself cozy against his manager’s side to take a nap.

Yoongi gives up, sighing, simply patting the younger’s head and accepting his punishment. “Alright buddy.”

“–and then he just flipped a switch or something! Woah, you should’ve seen it, it was really incredible.” You conclude before you wash down the spicy food with some more beer.

“Yeah, it must’ve been...Seeing how it’s the only thing you could talk about for the past hour,” Jey chuckles, reaching for another snack. The dining tent is crowded this evening, lots of noise and ruckus of other drunk customers filling your ears while you talk.

“Ah, sorry… Do I talk about it too much?” You grimace.

“Nah, you’re fine,” she waves away your concern with a laugh, “It sounds like it was a whole experience. I’ve never seen him like that either so it is kind of fascinating to me to hear this.”

You gasp, snapping your fingers when you recall something. “Right! You once told me you sometimes work for him!”

She frowns. “Told you twice… Actually, Yoongi called me today asking for my help but I was booked.”

“Is he usually shy like that? When you fluff him? No, wait, not shy– Uh, you know, super careful?”

Jey full out laughs at your rambling now, “Honestly, I’ve never seen you so invested in one of your projects before.”

You pout at that, “Don’t call him that.”

“Oh my god, ___, are you in love with him or something? You’re creeping me out.” She pulls a face before cupping your hot cheeks with her palms. “Oh, nevermind. You’re just super drunk.”

Shrugging, you shake off her hands like a child, only to replace them with your own when you rest your chin in them, elbows on the wonky, iron table as you lean over to her, smiling wide. “I still haven’t seen his dick,” You whisper-shout and Jey snorts at your drunken obliviousness. “Tell me about it.”

“Alright, sweetie, you’re making it weird,” she flicks your forehead and you whine, “It wouldn’t be very professional of me if I told you, hmm? Besides, didn’t you binge his films last week? I think you have a good enough idea of what his dick looks like.”

“But I’m so frustrated!” Your whining gets louder and more heated as you put up your index finger and practically shove it in Jey’s face, “I just wanted to feel it once, Jey. Just once.”

“Time for some water I think,” Jey raises her eyebrows and calls the owner of the tent for a bottle, “I don’t get what you’re getting worked up about. He’s going to be taking your classes, right? You’ll have plenty of chances to suck his dick later so stop crying about it, jeez.”

You clap your hands and giggle, the alcohol really starting to get in your head, “That’s true! I can still suck his dick then!”

“Shhh!” A hand instantly comes to cover your mouth before you can say more. “You don’t have to shout! What’s wrong with you?!”

“Mmmight be getting a little bit tipsy,” you helpfully suggest as if she hasn’t been trying to sober you up since you started talking about Taehyung’s dick.

“No shit, really? After only six beers?” She jeers sarcastically while forcing the bottle of water against your lips, sighing in relief when you allow it and start swallowing. “Let’s get you home, messy girl.”

Heliotrope masterlist

[demigodsanswer]

Clarisse and the Labyrinth

While she had been on a mission from Chiron to investigate the Labyrinth in Manhattan, she hadn’t been planning to actually enter the maze. She ended up stuck in the maze relatively unprepared. She had her backpack with her, which had nectar, ambrosia, and enough food and water to barely last her a week if she very carefully rationed it. But she knew she needed to get out. 

She figured the only way out was forward once she lost the exit into Manhattan. She was the first modern demigod they knew of to enter the maze, so she didn’t know what to expect.

She ended up trapped for what felt like 9 days. Each day, she cut a strip of fabric from her shirt and tied it to her necklace to keep track. On the 8th and 9th days, all she could do was take a sip of nectar every few hours to stay alive. 

She had already had an uncountable number of monster attacks. Three of them had nearly killed her; she only barely escaped. One of the more deadly one got a good swipe at her braid, pulling her by her hair until she was able to get a hold of her knife to cut her own hair off. She was weak, tried, starving, and dehydrated. She was pretty sure she was going to die in there. 

And then she finally, finally, by the grace of something, she found a way out. She found a delta insignia and the maze opened into an abandoned building. 

The first things she noticed was that it was hot and bright. 

She stepped out of the building on weak and weary legs, and almost cried when she saw where she was. 

She was in Phenix - she was maybe two blocks from where her mother was a dance teacher. She made her way, injured and thirsty, down the street until she got there. 

She must have looked awful, because the woman working the desk clearly didn’t want to let her in. But Clarisse said she was Madeline’s daughter and asked if she was working and the woman looked shocked. She said Madeline wasn’t in, but that she would call her to pick Clarisse up. 

While she waited, Clarisse drank so much water from the fountain she thought she might throw up. The woman working the desk offered her the first aid kit or an ambulance, but Clarisse refused. She would be okay once she was home. 

She hadn’t been home since she was ten. She would turn fifteen in March. She and her mom had talked in the meantime, but they were so different in every way except their stubbornness and temper than their relationship had always felt strained. They loved each other, but they didn’t particularly like each other.

But while she was in the maze, all she could think of was how she had never told her mom what she was doing. Her mom wouldn’t understand if she died. Her mom didn’t understand demigod things. 

When her mom showed up, Clarisse saw her through the dance studio’s glass doors, and she ran out to greet her. Her mom is sobbing as soon as she sees Clarisse. Her mom, she realizes, is looking at her like she’s just come back from the dead. 

She was. “I thought you were dead!” Her mom yells. She held her tighter, “Oh baby, what did they do to you?” 

“I’m not dead,” Clarisse assured her. 

 “Chiron called me two weeks ago and told me you were missing and that you were likely dead.” 

Clarisse was crying and holding her mother too, until she realized what she said. “Two weeks ago? No, I’ve been in there for 8, maybe 9 days?” 

 Clarisse’s mom shook her head and said, “No, when they called me, they said you had already been missing for a week.” 

“What day is it?” 

“November 21st.” 

Clarisse almost fell over, and not just from exhaustion and hunger. She had gone into the labyrinth on the 1st. She had to call Chiron. 

“Can we go home? I’ll explain everything there.” 

Clarisse isn’t sure how her mom drove home, she was crying so much. When they got to their home, Clarisse went right to her mom’s room, so to avoid her grandfather. Her grandfather was sick with dementia, and Madeline hadn’t told him that they thought Clarisse was dead - she didn’t want to until she decided to have a funeral. So she didn’t want him to see Clarisse torn up and injured. She told Clarisse to take a shower and put on her robe, she would go to Walmart and get her something to wear and eat. 

When her mom left she called Chiron, not bothering to shower first. 

Chiron looked like he might pass out when he saw her. 

When he asked what happened, Clarisse thought she might break down. Thinking of the things she fought, the number of times she almost died for the first time was a lot to handle. 

She’s always been someone to wear her emotions on her face if she didn’t consciously control them, so Chiron could tell she had been through something traumatic. He told her she didn’t have to tell them yet. 

The one thing she did tell him was that it was nearly unsurvivable. “I survived the sea of monsters and my father. If I barely lived, few others will too. If Luke is sending demigods in there, I don’t think we have much to worry about yet. Not unless they find a way to navigate it.”

Then she told him that she wouldn’t be going back in. “I can’t do that again. I won’t survive again.” 

He says he completely understands and that he will arrange for a flight to take her back to camp. 

“I’m not coming back. At least not right away. I’m staying in Phoenix. At least until the new year. I haven’t been home in four years,” then she started to cry despite her efforts. “All I could think of while I was in there, dying, was that I hadn’t seen my mother in years. I miss my mom. You should have seen how she looked at me. Like I was back from the dead. I can’t ... I can’t come back right now. I need to stay here. And heal. Not just physically.” 

Chiron nodded, understanding. He assured her that when she wanted to come back, they would arrange for it. “Sherman has been running your cabin. He refused to burn your shroud last week when it had been two weeks since we had last heard from you.” 

That made Clarisse smile. “He’s always been on my side. Tell him he’s in charge until I come back. Tell them I’m alive and okay. But tell them not to call me. I can’t ... not right now.” 

Chiron understood that too. “They’ll be happy to know that you’re okay.” 

Clarisse just sniffled and thanked him, She said that she would try and investigate the opening she had found and see if she could close it. Chiron thanked her for that, and then told her to get some rest, and call if she needed anything. 

Clarisse spends most of the time in the shower, scrubbing off grime. When her mom got home, she changed into pajamas and fell asleep on the couch until her mother woke up up to eat something. 

The two of them pretty much cried the entire day, with it coming in short bursts. Clarisse tells her mom that she wants to stay, and her mother cries and tells her to stay for as long as she wants. 

The first two weeks are great. They hardly fight (and when they do, it’s low stakes and just the result of their temperaments), and Clarisse likes getting to spend time with her grandfather.  

But in the third week, early in December, she’s investigating the opening to Labyrinth, and she finds Chris. 

“Shit, shit, shit, shit, fuck me, fuck me, fuck, fuck, fuck.” she mutters to herself as she walks up to him. 

When she gets closer, she realizes that he doesn’t recognize her - in fact, he doesn’t seem to recognize anything. He’s insane, she realizes. 

She brings him home before he can be arrested and institutionalized. She calls Chiron, and realizes that the fates have decided that her vacation is over. It’s time to get back to work. 

It takes over two weeks for them to figure out how to get him back to camp. He couldn’t get on a plane, and a long car ride with a madman seems like a bad idea. A flying chariot isn’t ideal - he might panic and try and jump. 

For the two weeks Chris lives with them, Clarisse and her mom start to call their house “the asylum” because of her grandfather and Chris. Twice, Chris forgot how to speak English, and her grandfather heard him speaking Spanish and called 911 claiming there was an “illegal” in his home. Clarisse had to hide in her room with him, trying to keep him quiet. She learned that if he was watching Star Wars, he would pretty much be quiet for the duration of the film.

Finally, Beckendorf and Lee Fletcher designed a larger sized chariot, meant for four, with one section enclosed and comfortable for Chris to rest in. They decide that Will will travel with them to help keep Chris calm and maybe heal him. it would be Chris, Pollux, Will, and Clarisse on the chariot. 

"You should find a way to get a portable DVD player. He likes Star Wars,” she told them.

They manage to get him back with only mild struggle. When she gets back, she learns that Annabeth and Percy had a few hunters have gone on a quest. 

Chiron asks Chris if he remembers anything, if he remembers why he was in the Labyrinth. When Chiron hears him mention “string,” Luke’s plan becomes clear. Clarisse realizes they can’t be done with the Labyrinth. But she won’t go back in, she tells Chiron. She’s done. She’ll share what she knows, and help where she can. But she can’t - she won’t - go back in. 

Chris scares her, she admits to Will one day. They don’t know what specifically drove him mad, but it’s not hard for her to believe that it would happen. She had hardly had a good nights sleep since she got out - she had been plagued by nightmares and memories. The dark and tight spots had become triggers for anxiety. Someone accidentally turned the bathroom lights out when she was in the showers at camp and she had a full-blown panic attack. She worried she would go mad next. 

[dirtydobrik]

can’t say goodbye - d.d.

this is part two of you aren’t here to kiss me, which you can find here 

 please read part one first !!

 plot: the reader and David finally talk things over after their explosive fight, after spending a many days apart

author’s note: hi! this is a continuation of a previous story i wrote called “you aren’t here to kiss me”, so please read that before reading this. i intended for there to be a lot more angst in this but i’m a sucker for a happy ending. i hope you guys enjoy reading my work! i love hearing what you guys have to say about my work, and if you want to request an imagine about David, i will try to write one. 

word count: 1.8k

masterlist

David stood on the steps, watching as you climbed into your car. He was expecting you to run back to him, saying you couldn't leave him again. But you didn't, and he stood frozen as you drove off, as reality finally sunk in: you were gone simply he told you to leave.

On your drive home, you had to pull over because your tears were blurring the road in front of you. Sad love songs played through the speakers of your car, and you couldn't stop crying. This was your first real heartbreak and it was absolutely not how you anticipated it would have happened. It felt so incredibly selfish on both of your ends, but you couldn't go running back to him. You had just tried to do that and he wanted nothing to do with your apology. If David said he wants space, then you had to give him some.

 You sat in apartment for three days, just waiting for the phone to ring and for David to say he needed to see you. You hadn't seen any of your friends since you fled from Chicago on New Year's Eve, and you knew they would all ask about you and David, and you didn't have it in you to talk about it.

David was back to uploading his vlogs on time, and many of the comments were asking why you weren't in them lately, and immediately you put the blame on yourself. You and David had kept your relationship a secret for a few months, telling only your closest friends. But eventually you were sick of having to keep it a secret, and you told David that all you wanted for your birthday was to go public with your relationship. You had a few talks about it, seriously considering everything that would come from, and finally agreed to tell everyone about your relationship about a week after your birthday. But now that people knew you were dating it, they all had an opinion on the situation and rumors were flying about where you were and what was going on between you and David.

While wrapped up in your thoughts and reliving happy memories with David, you heard a knock on your door. Your heart skipped a beat, hoping that it might be David, but when you opened the door to see Natalie, your heart sank a little.

"What are you doing here?" you asked, trying to make her think you were pissed off, but in actuality, you were relieved to see her. You had been meaning to ask her how David was doing, you just didn’t know if you could handle hearing about it. Or worse, you were worried she would shut you out like David did.

"I wanted to check up on you. You've been distant. We miss having you around. David misses you," she said and you scoffed.

"Like hell David misses me. He told me to leave."

"He only leaves his bed to film twice a week, and I have to force him to that. He doesn't eat. He barely sleeps. He locks himself in his bedroom and cries constantly. He's heartbroken. I've never seen him like this before," she explained.

"Then why did he tell me to go? I was right there and he wanted me to leave!"

Natalie sighed. "He didn't mean it. He didn't think you would actually walk away."

"I don't believe it. Not unless I hear it from him," I said. For a split second I thought David would appear in the doorway. He didn't.

"Just please, talk to him. I can't stand seeing him like this. He's completely lost without you by his side. He needs you," Natalie urged, and you sighed. You told her you would try to talk to him, but you weren't going to make any promises. She gave you a hug before walking away, leaving you alone with your thoughts again.

You thought about calling David, and you thought about texting him. You thought about showing up to his house unannounced again, but you couldn't do it. You couldn't, no, you wouldn't let yourself get your hopes up if they were only going to be crushed again. 

You needed to go for a drive to clear your head. Pretty soon, you ended up at yours and David's spot. It was a little outlook off of a side street where you could see the ocean, and it was about halfway between your apartment and David's house. You used to meet him here all the time when your relationship was still a secret. He'd bring you dinner, usually Chipotle, and you would just sit in his car and talk. It was nice to have an escape from reality. It was like you two were in your own little bubble any time you were together, like the world stopped spinning and time stopped. You missed that. You missed him. It was so simple and easy to just be with him. It didn't matter what you were doing, there was something about David being there with you that made everything better. You needed him in your life, you couldn't let him get away. 

Your finger hovered over the facetime icon, but you decided to hit call. The line rang and moments later David answered. He looked so much worse than you were expecting. His hair was a mess and it looked like the life had been drained from his body. Natalie was right, he was falling apart.

"Hi," you said in a whisper, your voice breaking.

"Hi," he replied, his eyes bloodshot from crying, you assumed.

"Can we talk? In person?" you asked, not even having to tell David where you were. He just nodded, and said he would be there as soon as possible.

While you waited for him to come, you thought about all the things you wanted to say to him. All the things you needed to say. You wanted to tell him how much you love him, and how sorry you were about that fight. You wanted to say that you overreacted and that he had every right to be mad. You wanted to tell him to take all the time he needed before coming back to you, if he even ever wanted to come back to you.

But when he pulled into the parking lot and you both got out of your cars, you forgot everything you were going to say to him the moment you two made eye contact. He said something in a whisper and you didn’t catch it, but he help his arms open and pulled you in for a hug.

"Hi," he whispered, holding you close to him. "I'm sorry."

"What are you sorry for?" you asked, pulling away from him and looking up at him. "I'm the one who needs to apologize."

"You came to apologize to me, and I told you to leave, but I really wanted you to stay. I need you." His voice was low, and you knew he was on the verge on tears.

"Why did you tell me to leave, then?" You were beyond confused.

"I wanted to be mad at you. You left me alone in Chicago on New Year's Eve, and the logical thing to do would be to end things. But God, I can't do that. Every part of me is saying that I need you."

"Dave," you sighed. You loved him, and you wanted to be with him. There was no doubt in your mind that he wasn't your soulmate. "I need you, too." You wanted to say that you didn't feel whole without him, but something told you that you didn't need to. 

You two were sitting in his car now, talking and feeling like you were in your own little world again. The moment felt almost perfect, but there was still something you needed to talk to him about.

"Hey, Dave," you said quietly, turning to him. He knew by the sound of your voice that something was bothering you.

"What's up?" he asked, trying to figure it out on his own.

"I don’t want to start a fight, but can we please just talk?" David nodded for you to continue, realizing that this was going to be about recording your reaction on Christmas.  "Sometimes things can be just between the two of us. Not everything needs to be recorded for your vlog. Some things should be kept private, or at least talked about beforehand."

"It's a habit. I just always have my camera on," he explained, and you nodded. You understood that.

"I know, babe. It just sometimes ruins a moment. And I don’t know if you do things just to get a reaction and footage for your vlog."

"I'm sorry. I'll try to be better about it," he reassured you, and you believed it. You didn't have a reason not to. "Oh, I have something for you," he said as he reached down and pulled out a familiar red box. You opened it to reveal the same ring he had given you on Christmas morning. A puzzled look crossed your face.

"Let me explain," David said, noticing that you were confused. "I did it wrong the first time. And I'm sorry. I didn't buy you the ring to film your reaction for my vlog. I got it because I love you and I wanted to get you something special." He pulled his own Cartier ring off, turning it so you could see an engraving that matched yours, but with your initials on the band of his ring. You felt tears forming in your eyes and you couldn't stop smiling.

"God, I'm so in love with you," you giggled and David grinned as you held out your right hand out for him to slip the ring on, like one would do with an engagement ring. He leaned in and gave you a quick kiss. You wrapped your arms around his neck and ran your fingers through his hair. It felt nice having him close to you after being apart for so long.

"I want to stay here forever," he said, looking over at you, his eyes twinkling. "Right next to you," he grinned, reaching down and squeezing your thigh.

"That sounds perfect," you hummed, leaning over and resting your head on his shoulder. You looked out at the water, and got the same feeling you used to get in the beginning of your relationship. Like the world stopped spinning and time was frozen. You two were back in your own little bubble and you knew nothing would pop it this time.

[snarkwriteswrasslin]

FFT: dreaming of a wedding dress; adam page

Notes:

this was sent to me by @kyleoreillysknee​ on my main and I wanted to move it to here, give it it’s own post and stuff. 

Summary:

Sadie and Adam are exes. Both miss each other. Adam decides that he’s not about to keep missing her and shows up at her house. Fluffy reunion ensues.

Pairing:

Adam Hangman Page x OFC, Sadie

Warnings:

uhh, does fluff count? bc yeah. lots of fluff.

The shrill cry of her alarm barely registered to Sadie until it stopped. She sat up in bed, rubbing her eyes and stretching her arms over her head. The third snooze alarm started and Sadie sat there a few seconds, trying to process.. To get back into reality, if you will.

The vivid -and yet distinctly vague, dream she’d been having for the better part of nearly 3 weeks now was hard to shake after awakening, she was used to that. What she wasn’t used to was the urgency the dream seemed to have lying beneath this time.

She could close her eyes and easily call it back to memory. Well, every part of it except for the groom/ father of the child she had by the end of the dream.. Because while the sights, sounds and even smells in the dream were all so vivid and bright… The groom in this scenario was not.

And just before she’d awoken, he’d been whispering something.

She couldn’t remember it now, to save her life. And this was bad because Sadie got the distinct feeling that whatever he’d been whispering was something she wanted to hear. What if it was important?

That thought had her laughing to herself and shaking her head as she slipped out of bed and ventured over to the window, the sheet wrapped around her body trailing behind her as she went. She pressed her hand to the cold pane of glass and peered out, up at the moonlit sky.

“It’s just a dream, nothin more. It’s probably dumb as hell, fixating on the damn thing like I’ve been doin.” her words came slow and soft, followed by the revelation as to why exactly she seemed to fixate on that dream the way she did.

Standing here in her grandma’s big 2 story farmhouse out in the middle of nowhere, staring up at the moon, she suddenly realized that whether she chose to acknowledge it or not, there was something lacking as of late. She felt restless again. Like she was sitting back and waiting, and while she did that her life passed her by.

Sure, she had a comfy life - she’d almost dare to venture way too easy. But as she stood there, staring up at the moon, several things were occurring to her all at once.

The biggest of these things was the fact that at 26, she’d never taken any actual risks. She’d never done anything on a whim. She’d never gone after anything she really wanted, deep down.

… Just like you let Adam get away… Seeing him on tv the other night really drove that home…

… you know it never would have worked, he’d be gone all the time…

… you won’t ever know, will you? Didn’t even attempt trying, you just panicked when he said he loved you  and instead of saying it back, you  broke it off… You were so damned afraid that it’d be like your mom and dad all over again that you panicked… And now, it’s probably too damn late…

The phone was ringing and she grabbed it off her nightstand, answering.

She winced as she heard her friends shouting at her.

“Guys, it’s like… Midnight.”

“Duh!” - Shayna was the one with the phone at the moment but in the background, Sadie could hear the rest of her friends in the background. “What the hell were you doing? Sleeping?” - Shayna asked the question and Claudia snatched the phone.

“You are not about to sleep. It’s too early! Come on, please?”

She gave a quiet laugh and then sighed. She was about to try and beg off, - Mimi was politely pointing out to the others that maybe she was tired, but then the dream came rushing back… And with it came that feeling of… Something missing.

She didn’t want to lie in bed replaying both the dream and the last time she had actually seen Adam over in her head, so after a few seconds, just as Louisa was about to tell them to let her go back to sleep, that we all did have work in the morning, she spoke up.

“Give me ten.”

“You’re serious.”

“She’s bullshitting us again.”

“If you want to go to sleep it’s totally fine.”

She cut into the conversation going on between all of them and spoke up. “No, no.. I wanna come. I don’t know why I was makin such a big deal. I’ll be there in ten minutes. Wasn’t like I was going back to sleep anyway.”

Mimi had the phone now, a concerned tone to her voice as she asked what was wrong and if Sadie was really sure she wanted to come out. She heard Louisa and Claudia asking her in the background if everything was alright and she laughed quietly, catching sight of herself in the mirror over her bathroom sink. She grabbed her hairbrush as she listened to her friends talking, trying to drag whatever was wrong out of her and she loved them for it, but like… she couldn’t explain it, either.

Shayna was the one who guessed it. I don’t know how, because I’ve only mentioned this dream maybe twice.

“Is it that super realistic dream you keep having?”

“Among other things, yeah.” I answered as I slicked on deep red lipgloss. Cherry flavored. …. Adam always enjoyed this one when I wore it…

…It’s been four and a half months, Sadie…

… He’s obviously fine with things ending, because he didn’t try a single time to stop you from breaking it off with him.. He still hasn’t. It wasn’t like it was that long ago.

Again, the practical side of her brain was taking over and she scowled in frustration, the expression scrunching up her face and making her realize that she didn’t really smile that often, either.

“What other things?”

“It’s nothing, just… Like… Ever felt like something’s missing? Nevermind.”

“No, I know what you mean.”

Claudia had the phone now. “You could have moved in with Mimi and me when we asked, I mean if it’s a lonliness thing.”

Sadie gave a soft laugh and grabbed for her jacket and her keys. She realized about halfway out the door that she was wearing a pair of pajamas and a tank top and glancing back at the porch, she just… Decided she didn’t honestly give enough fucks about the way she looked to go back and change.

By the time she got to the little bar and grill we all hang out at most of the time, she was starting to relax a little. Not much, but enough.

By the time she was sitting down between Shayna and Louisa, stealing food off their plates when they weren’t looking -and were covertly arguing over the bouncer at this place that Louisa has a thing for and why Louisa won’t walk up and talk to the guy already, she had started to really realize that the dream was recurring for a reason.

She needed to do SOMETHING.

She needed to fix the mistake she obviously made.She was not so sure why she knew it was Adam in her dreams, but she just knew.

Sadie didn’t have to see him, didn’t have to clearly be able to hear him speaking. she just had this intense gut feeling that the dream was about him -and it was fallout from the way she handled things back then.

She must have zoned out, because Mimi was clearing her throat, eyeing her expectantly. “Are you sure you’re okay?”

“Yeah, yeah. Just like… Thinking.”

“About?” - her friends were all staring at her right now and man, did that make it hard to get out what she was trying to get out. She took a few more fries off of Shayna’s plate and dragged them through a milkshake sitting in front of me and after chewing thoughtfully, she sighed.

“That damn dream. Remember Adam?”

“Hold up… He’s the hot cowboy you were dating, right? The one who went on to start wrestling?”

She nodded. “That’d be him.”

Louisa eyed her, nodding. “Yeah, I remember him. What’s up?”

“He works with the competition now… For the company Sami’s wrestling with? Yeah.. One of the owners is being a completely clueless bag of dicks and it’s making Sami miserable… Has to do with a drop in their ratings and a rise in the other companies.” Shayna spoke up and Sadie laughed, nodding. “Yeah, I’ve been… Watching… Aew… Since I flipped past one night about two weeks ago and saw him on there..” she gave a sheepish shrug.

“Get the fuck out. I thought you said you weren’t even remotely interested in pro wrestling. That was your excuse when Mimi and I tried to drag your ass to Vegas.” Claudia looked up from her snapchat conversation with Zak to stare right at me.

“I know what I said, but.. He’s so intense. I watched him in that ring and like.. I can’t explain it. I was… I was seeing all these little things I never noticed before. And I can’t stop thinking about it all.”

“Just say you’re thirsty.” Louisa was joking with her gently and Mimi snorted in laughter but then she went quiet, almost thoughtful. She instantly got this feeling she was plotting something.

Unfortunately, she had to piss, so she jumped up and excused herself to go to the bathroom.

XXX

“You guys remember Mox, right?”

“Yeah, that guy you met when you and Claudia went off to that Vegas show, right? Isn’t he a fighter too?” Louisa eyed Mimi and Mimi nodded, almost excitedly. “He is. And here’s the interesting part. Mox works with Adam.”

The bouncer made his way past and Louisa fanned herself with a menu, eyes following him intently as he moved towards the back of the club to break up a fight. After Shayna cleared her throat and nudged her, Louisa turned her focus back onto what Mimi seemed to be suggesting.

Mimi continued, “ When Claudia and Zak and I and the other guys were all in Vegas for that pay per view they were filming, I… Kinda spotted Adam backstage. I thought at first he was just there as a fan like we all were.”

“Did he say anything?” Shayna asked as she finished firing off a text to Sami, checking in to make sure he was okay. He wasn’t happy with the direction they seemed to be taking with his on screen persona lately, and while he did his best to hide it, pretend it didn’t bother him, Shayna knew better. She glanced up and Mimi shook her head no, reaching for her bottled water and taking a sip.

“No, but.. He was talking to Mox right before Mox walked up to me and introduced himself and got that one really crazy drunken asshole away from me… So..”

“Yeah? Oh man…. Yeah, do it. Do it. I mean, if you’re thinking about doing what I think you’re thinking about doing…” Claudia looked up from snap chatting Zak to laugh and nod. “Either you do it or I’ll drive her to the arena they’re at next and leave her there.”

“Hard same. I’ve always kind of figured that she didn’t really want to break things off with Adam, but you know how weird she can be with big decisions. She was a lot happier.”

Louisa spoke up, tearing her eyes away from the bouncer. He’d gotten close enough to read the tag on his shirt this time. His name was Braun, she filed it away for later. Maybe she was considering just going for it and making some kind of attempt to talk to the guy.

She had to do something.

To take her mind off of it, she forced herself to focus on the conversation taking place between her friends at the moment. “You guys do realize she will never.. Never.. Ever… even consider the possibility that there’s still a chance. That we’re gonna have to essentially coax her into doing anything about this whole thing. But we all know it’s eating her up inside.”

“She can say it’s not, but it totally is. The entire blind date Zak and I set her up on, she was all mopey and shit. She’s been all mopey and shit for a while now.”

“She has. She tries to hide it, but she’s not very good at it?” Mimi laughed quietly and nodded towards the area in the bar the bathrooms were located at. “I’m gonna text Mox.. I think I know exactly how to go about doing this…”

“Remember, she cannot have one single clue we’re up to something. Otherwise, she’ll hide in that damn house and we’ll NEVER get her out. I swear, she’s a hermit.”

Mimi texted Mox, explaining the situation as best as she could in short sentences. Mox wound up calling her because to quote him, “Can’t text to save my fuckin life, got no interest in learnin. I’d rather hear someone’s voice.” so Mimi stood and walked out, making sure she was by herself once she got outside.

“You know that guy you’re working with? Adam?”

“Yeah, Hangman. Guy’s always slappin my fuckin ass. Why?” Mox sounded worried, maybe even a little jealous. Mimi bit her lip and quickly reassured him and then she explained the situation, Mox chuckling and pacing, she could hear his footsteps echoing.

“I’ll talk to him.”

“Are you sure?”

“Course I’m sure, baby girl. I can tell it means a lot to ya.”

“It’s not just that.. I have this feeling about those two.”

“Anything you want me to do, kitten.”

Inside the bar, Louisa stood, taking a deep breath. She made her way past where Sadie stood in line, ordering herself a drink and she nudged her friend.

“Wish me luck.”

“Whoa, what?”

“I’m going to fucking do it. Tonight is the night I talk to him.”

Sadie followed her friends intent gaze and she let out a low whistle, smiling. “You better, or I’m totally shoving you two into a back room and leaning against the door.”

“You wouldn’t dare.”

“Oh, I think I would.”

“Oh, so you can meddle, but we can’t? That’s not really fair.”

“Louie… The longer you stand here, arguing the unfairness of the whole thing with me, the less time you’re gonna get to go over. It’s just a word. All you have to do is say Hi.” Sadie insisted, more or less trying to wiggle her own way off of the hook. She let out a deep breath when it seemed to work and burst into giggles when the bouncer Louisa was currently planning to go over and talk to seemed to have the same idea.

“I’m gonna go steal more food. You.. Talk to him.” Sadie nodded to just behind her friend and Louisa turned, finding herself body to body with the giant of a man. He gave this smirk and nodded to the dance floor, leaning in.

“I don’t do this often but.. You wanna dance?”

“I don’t dance with strangers sir, so maybe if you introduce yourself…” Louisa teased gently, moving a little closer, staring up at him. “I’m Louisa.”

“Name’s Braun. I’ve seen you around. Every time I think I’m gonna get to talk to ya, those goddamn idiots from that frat house two blocks over start fightin.” Braun chuckled, the sound booming. Louisa swallowed hard and nodded, smiling. Her heart was racing a little.

Shayna watched Braun leading Louisa out onto the floor and laughed softly to herself. “Finally. It’s about fucking time.”

“What’s that?” Sami asked, falling back against the bed in his hotel room, the phone resting between his ear and shoulder.

“That guy. The bouncer from the sports bar I bought you to meet most of my friends? The one Louisa is really, really, really into? He just asked Louisa to dance.”

Sami chuckled and then sighed. “I’d really rather be there with you right now.”

“I know, babe. I know. But I promise.. This weekend, I get on a flight. And I am all yours for the next week. No distractions.”

Sami smiled, raising to sit, grabbing the remote, then deciding against the television. He rubbed his chin and mumbled thoughtfully, “So I have you all to myself, hmm?”

“Mhmm. And we can do anything you want.”

“Oh really, now.. Anything? Because you realize that’s a blanket statement, yeah?”

“Oh, trust me. I’m well aware.” Shayna scanned the bar, searching for Sadie and Claudia, finding Sadie leaning against a wood column with a beer sitting on the rail by her hip and a poolstick leaned against her body.

Claudia was sitting a few booths away, snapchatting with Zak.

“Find any ghosts yet?”

“This place is a bust. The only thing scary about it so far is the raccoon that ran out when Aaron kicked in the door. It’s probably condemned.” Zak chuckled. “Are you upside down?”

“Yeah. I’m trying to spread so we don’t lose our booth like the last time. Everybody just kinda scattered. Oh.. News.. Guess who actually left her house tonight?”

“Sadie actually came out with you guys? Ya know, if she weren’t so hung up on that guy Adam or whatever…”

“Zak, no.”

“I’m just saying, she and Nick were really hitting it off when we all went out to that abandoned house last time I came to town to film.” Zak shrugged and Claudia nodded. “They were, but I honestly believe Adam was just it for her. Still makes zero sense, why she broke up with the guy.”

“Probably cold feet. She seemed real skittish when we were all hanging out.. Remember? Nick tried giving her his coat, she politely declined. Then when he put his arm around the back of the booth behind her, she sat up? Yeah.”

“I felt so bad for Nick. He’s a sweet guy.”

“Nick’s a dumbass.”

“Well, that too, but I mean. He was really pouring it on that night and it was like Sadie wasn’t having it. And she told me the next day that if it weren’t for her mind being elsewhere, she’d have had a great time.” Claudia shook her head and rose to sit up, eventually standing. “In other news.. I may have gotten permission..”

“Fucking seriously? How? I thought that guy.. Your neighbor, I mean. I thought she was hell bent on not allowing anyone to investigate that property?”

“Power of persuasion.”

“Babe…”

“Thank me later, Bagans.”

“Oh, I intend to.”

“Color me curious.” Claudia started to say as she walked over, tapping her friend Sadie on the shoulder.

“Wanna play against me?”

“How about winner plays?”

Claudia eyed Shayna and then the table. “Well shit.. Sure, why not.”

“Oh, c’mon, don’t pout! You won four games last time.” Shayna pouted as she said it, ending in a laugh. Sadie flipped them both off and muttered something about having an off night.

“Damn right I did.” Claudia laughed and grabbed for a poolstick, chalking the tip.

“So, Sadie… Back to what you obviously think we’ve all forgotten.. What is it about that dream that keeps bothering you?”

“Damn it. I was hoping y’all forgot.” Sadie sighed and then rubbed her temple and let her eyes scan the table for a potential shot. “I’m calling the 9. Middle left pocket.”

“Not unless you’ve got Jedi powers.”

“You’re about to get fucked over.”

“Don’t hit too hard, otherwise it’s gonna bounce right back out of the pocket.”

“Ladies? Can I shoot or no?” Sadie teased her friends, taking a sip of her drink and bending, aiming the pool stick at the cue. She grumbled and flipped off the table when the cue followed the 9 ball right into the pocket.

“Okay, alright, fine.. In the dream, I’m getting married. And while I can’t see who it is… I just.. I’ve been thinking a lot about how bad I screwed the whole thing with Adam up… And… I don’t know,” Sadie took another sip and fidgeted with the bottle after sitting it down, finally making herself say it out loud. “I think the dream I’ve always had has been about Adam. And that night, when I ended things… It wasn’t what I wanted to do at all. I panicked.”

“Okay, so… What are you going to do to fix it?”

“Oh nothing, not a damn thing. Obviously he’s fine with it? I mean it’s been over four months now and I haven’t heard a word out of him….” Sadie dragged her fingers through her hair and raising her beer to her lips, she took a few long sips to finish it off.

Her cell phone buzzed, making her jump and she took it out, for a second, she found herself hoping against hope that it’d be him but..

It was work.

“And apparently, I’ve gotta go into the station. I’m really really really regretting the decision to work Forensics, y’all. It’s gonna be another long night.”

As she went to walk out the door, Mimi stopped her. “Maybe it’s not too late to fix things. You never know.”

Sadie eyed her friend and after hugging them all goodbye, she grabbed her coat and set off for the station she worked at. And the entire time she was processing the scene she’d gotten called to, she kept thinking about everything.

By the time she was preparing to leave the station, she’d tried at least six different times to put it out of her head once and for all, he’d looked really happy on television and he was doing what he loved. What if her breaking things off that night was better?

It didn’t feel like it though.

XXX

Her number was still in his phone. Tonight, he tried again to delete it, just because Kenny suggested that maybe if he weren’t going to do something, make some attempt to reach out, then maybe he just needed to let go.. He had the number highlighted, his finger hovering over delete and then those dreams came rushing back to him.

“Damn it.” Adam launched the phone and it settled onto the floor of the hallway after bouncing off the wall. Mox picked it up, stifling a laugh, fixing his gaze on the other man and raising his brow.

“That upset about the outcome of the match?”

“No, it’s not that.” Adam didn’t even really intend to blurt it out, but he did. And once he’d blurted that part out, the rest came flowing out as well. Mox stood there, torn between mildly uncomfortable at the way Adam was just spilling his guts and partially amused.

He smirked to himself. Maybe what he promised his girlfriend Mimi he’d attempt doing wasn’t gonna be so hard to do after all.

Might even be as easy as taking candy from a baby. Or that goddamn skateboard from Darby.

Either way, he saw an opening, and ever the opportunist, he took it. He grabbed a chair, straddling it so that the chair’s back pressed into his chest and he just sat there, letting Adam go on and on.

It wasn’t like the guy.

By the end, Mox had his opening and then he spoke up. “What if I told ya there might still be a chance to fix things?”

… this would be even better than what Mimi suggested. If he could just talk the damn guy into going to the girl Mimi had been telling him about earlier…. He could tell Adam wanted to…

Adam eyed Mox. He couldn’t tell whether Mox was being serious and knew something he didn’t or whether the guy was just trying to suggest something, either way, he shook his head, took a deep breath.

“I’d think she made it real clear that night how she felt about us. I told her I loved her and she got this look of terror on her face then she suddenly has to leave? Not seeing how I could do anything. I just know it’s driving me fuckin insane because I swear it’s her I’m dreamin about.”

Mox didn’t know or care to know what he was referring to, frankly, it wasn’t his business. But, Adam apparently needed to get all this out.

“I’m sorry, shit.” Mox shrugged as he said it, and Adam coughed, nodding. The tension settled in as the two went quiet and Adam spoke up again. “What makes you think there’s a chance to fix things… I mean… You sounded pretty convinced.”

“My girlfriend’s best friends with her. Said that it’s been real rough on her too. Or somethin like that.”

“Whoa, what?”

“You fuckin heard me, Hangman. My girlfriend knows her. And maybe my girlfriend was mentioning the fact that this chick is tearin herself up over endin it now. Or somethin like that. Look, all I know is it’d take nothin to fix the whole thing. But from what Mimi’s told me, you’re gonna have to be the one to do it.”

Adam shook his head. From where he stood, what would the point be? She was the one who broke things off. He’d just been leaving her alone, letting her have her space, throwing himself into competing, traveling and doing whatever he could not to think about just how much he fucking missed her.

… Pride, man… Pride is what’s gonna cost you… Either you lose your pride or you keep it and let her go completely…

After dropping that bombshell, Mox stood and stretched. “Just do somethin, man. Because ya head ain’t in it lately. And ya got shit to get done.”

Adam eyed him, a brow raised.

“I don’t wanna wrestle against ya when ya not in it. Ain’t safe for you or me, man. I don’t give a fuck what you do but fuck… Do somethin.” Mox walked off and Adam stared at his phone again.

“Maybe he’s right…”

XXX

It had been one hell of a Monday. All Sadie really wanted to do by the time she finally left the lab was go home, soak in a long hot bath and crawl into bed and sleep for her next two days off.

The cat brushed against her legs as soon as she opened the doors and she bent, picking it up. “Hey Sir Mew.”

The cat purred, nuzzling against her.

“I know man. Mom had a real long day. Let’s get you food, hm?” Sadie flipped on the lights and started to walk towards the kitchen, getting her cat his food. She turned on some music and opened her fridge, wrinkling her nose at the contents - or lack thereof, that it held.

“There is… Literally nothin here I wanna eat.” she grimaced as she caught sight of a Chinese takeout carton that had to have been in the fridge at least a week now. Grabbing it, she tossed it in the garbage.

She was just about to grab her keys and head back out, to a diner a few blocks over, but her cellphone started to ring and someone was knocking on the door.

She looked back and forth between the two, trying to decide which to answer first. Finally, she answered the call and started to walk towards the door.

“Oh my god. Oh my god, oh my god, guess who called me.” Louisa was breathless on the other end of the line, and Sadie gave a soft laugh as she reached for the door handle.

“I told you he’d..” but as soon as she had the door open and saw who was standing there, her words trailed off.

“Hey, did you hang up? I’m gonna come over tomorrow and raid your closet.”

“That’s a great idea! Hey, Louie?”

“What’s wrong, Sadie Lynn…” Louisa raised a brow at her friend’s suddenly spaced out tone of voice. Sadie’s answer was enough to put her at ease.

“It’s… Adam is here.”

“I’ll call you back later, girl. Talk to him!”

“I.. Yeah.. Okay.”

Adam raked his hand through his hair, sizing her up as he stared down at her. The last 20 odd hours were a blur of him leaving the hotel where the show had been stopped, driving here with maybe a few hours sleep caught in an empty parking lot here and there. He didn’t know what he was in for, all he knew was that one of them had to fight.

… Mox better not be lyin or I swear to fuck…. He was starting to get paranoid because she was standing there in front of him, not saying anything. … Why isn’t she sayin something?…. I knew this was a bad….  The thought was driven out of his mind when she suddenly stepped closer. Much closer.

“You’re… I thought you were on the road… You’re missing a show…” Sadie’s words came so fast she nearly stumbled over them and Adam chuckled, shaking his head no. He stepped closer, cautiously.

He figured that par for the course in their not so distant past, he’d have to make the first actual move or be the one to say it, so it surprised the hell out of him when he found himself shoved against the door frame and her molding against him.

“Sadie?”

“ I never should have let you go.” She muttered it quietly, shaking her head as she looked up at him nervously. Trying to work up the nerve to do something.

To kiss him.

Seeing him standing on her porch only drove home just how much she really missed him.

When she grabbed hold of his black tee shirt and started to use it to pull his mouth down to her own, the weirdest thing happened. Every single frame from the recurring dream she’d been having for a while now suddenly played back in total vivid clarity in her mind and it was enough to leave her gasping as she saw the blank spaces and blurry images filling themselves in.

Adam groaned, not wasting any time grabbing her ass and pulling her up his body, meeting her mouth with his own. “It was you. I knew it.” maybe one of them mumbled it, maybe both… The words were swallowed up by teeth nipping at lips, by tongues clashing hungrily, almost desperately. Her hand raised and she dragged it through his hair, tugging, causing him to grip her tighter and growl quietly.

“I’m sorry, I’m so so sorry..”

“Shh.. It’s okay, darlin. Everything is gonna be just fine now. I promise. Ain’t lettin you go again, I swear.”

“I hope not. It’s been hell.”

“It has for me too. Trust me on that.”

[allthefilmsiveseenforfree]

The Kitchen

Oh guys. Ohhhhh you guys. It’s been awhile, you know? It’s been awhile since I’ve knowingly seen a film with less than, say, 30% on Rotten Tomatoes, but sometimes I can be convinced! Gimme a great cast and as long as the movie’s not trying to be a comedy I’m willing to give it the good ol’ college try because at least I can usually find something to laugh at. So I went into The Kitchen fully expecting a less-than-stellar but no doubt perfectly adequate time at the cinema. You’ve got Oscar nominee Melissa McCarthy, prestige TV darling Elizabeth Moss, and breakout charisma machine Tiffany Haddish as three women taking charge of their husbands’ mob empire in 70s Hell’s Kitchen? What could go wrong??? Well...

Imagine watching a montage of every 70s era mob movie you can think of. Got it? Got it firmly in your head? You have now had the experience of watching this movie. It’s like it’s 1993 again and you’re fighting with your sister over the remote and one of you hits the fast forward button while the smell of Bagel Bites drifts through the rec room and as you’re struggling to get the remote back, the movie is unspooling in front of you, incoherent images and sudden jerky movements, and your mom yells at you to stop fighting or she was gonna take the movie back to Blockbuster and NO ONE was gonna get to watch it. It’s like that, but unfortunately someone DID watch the movie, and that someone was me. 

Some thoughts:

So first of all, I’d like to say that I enjoy Tiffany Haddish as a person. She seems like a real delight, and I think she’s working her ass off to get hers in Hollywood, which is fantastic and I wish her all the success in the comedy world. That being said. There’s uh...there’s a lot of eyebrow acting going on here. Just. So many eyebrows doing so many things. And a lot of nodding. People don’t nod this much in real life. She’s acting in scenes across from Oscar nominee Melissa McCarthy and usually that would tend to elevate a performance but for some reason, it’s all nods and eyebrows and I just think maybe gritty dramatic acting is not going to be her next successful career move. 

It’s not just her though. All the bit parts and character actors they hired to fill out the Hell’s Kitchen neighborhood feel like they’re rejects from the first 10 minutes of a Law & Order episode. At one point, an old married woman says “Ain’t that right, Sal?” to her husband and he shushes her by swatting the air in front of him and grumbling “AAAAH.” THIS HAPPENS TWICE IN THE SCENE. I’ve seen termites that chew through scenery less. 

The overacting? Forgivable. The weak script? I could handle it. But the pacing of this movie is so relentlessly awful that it almost feels like performance art. There are - I counted - 3 scenes that last longer than approximately 90 seconds. Just imagine it. You’re watching a movie. You like the actors. The story’s ok. But something seems off. You don’t know what. The costumes are good. The performances are ok. The music is great. But something is wrong. It’s definitely wrong. Do you feel it? Is it bothering you? Have you had enough yet? Are you yearning for a descriptive sentence, an appositive phrase, anything with even one fucking comma in it to indicate a complex thought? Congratulations, now you know what it’s like to watch a 102-minute film that feels like it took 3 hours. 

Let it never be said that I can’t find the silver lining amongst this pile of dreck! Domnhall Gleeson is a goddamn delight as a slightly unhinged, sleepy eyed mob assassin who came back to Brooklyn cause he heard Elizabeth Moss’s husband was in jail. In between making googly eyes at her, there is what is by far the funniest, weirdest scene in the movie in which he methodically explains how to dismember the dead body of an attempted rapist currently residing in Elizabeth Moss’s bathtub. This scene may be my favorite black comedy short film of the year. 

Related: it’s fucked up but Gleeson is upsettingly attractive in this movie. These feelings are made even more complicated, because when he first shows up, I thought he was Elizabeth Moss’s estranged brother. But then they started making out and for a second I was having some VERY confusing feelings.

One thing the movie has in its favor - the soundtrack, while obvious, is banging. It’s 1978, if you don’t have a killer soundtrack it’s like you’re not even making an effort.

There are a few other shining spots. Melissa McCarthy does a fine job with the material she’s given. Elizabeth Moss at least seems to be having fun. It’s really not the actors’ fault that first-time director Andrea Berloff simply had no idea what to do with them. 

On a related tangent, I would just like to point out that a criticism that is always levied towards works of art created by women and POC and queer folks and any other minority is that people only think it’s good just because the person belongs to that particular group. Well, I’m going to point to this film every single time someone tries to pull that bullshit ever again - I’m sure Andrea Berloff was trying her best, and there may have been unseen drama going on with the studio or during the production that led to this frenetic pile of polyester, but the end result is not at all better just because she’s a woman. I wanted to like this, I really did, but a poorly made film is a poorly made film no matter who’s behind the camera.

Case in point - my favorite scenes in the movie have nothing to do with the main characters, but instead focus on a group of rival mobsters in Brooklyn, led by an oily and perfect Bill Camp. His tete a tete with our main ladies is one of the three scenes allowed to be long enough to be, you know, interesting. Plus, he has an entourage of other Brooklyn mobsters with him, including the Jersey Shore-lite guy that Ann Perkins makes out with during the Harvest Festival in Parks and Rec, who has my favorite line in the whole movie. When he’s explaining to Melissa McCarthy that there’s a hit out on her and the gals, he explains how he knew - “I was in a bar......lookin at some titties...when he asked me.” “Asked you what?” “To kill you.” It’s his wide-eyed good cheer and sheepishly boyish grin that really sells it. I’ve been laughing about it for days. 

Margo Martindale might be one of this generation’s finest character actresses, but she can’t do a New York Irish mob accent for shit.

Did I Cry? Oh god no. I should have - there’s major character death all OVER the place. But nah. I was still laughing about the titties. 

I hate that I know how good this could have been. These women deserved better, and there are tiny seeds of interesting ideas going on, but ultimately everything falls flat. 

If you liked this review, please consider reblogging or subscribing to my Patreon! For as low as $1, you can access bonus content and movie reviews, or even request that I review any movie of your choice.

[prabbling-blog]

Feel the Fear and Do it Anyway (Bill Skarsgard X Reader)

Requested: Hello!! :) hope you're having a great day! I was wondering if you could make an imagine where you are watching 'IT' for the first time with Bill but you hate clowns. Kept up the good work!

Warnings: none

Word Count: 1665

A/N: Thanks for requesting hopefully this is what you wanted - I know it is a bit different, but I really enjoyed writing this!

All her life, Y/N saw herself as a coward. She was a coward during the first grade spelling bee, during every exam or test, during her first date, during college tours, during everything. During every somewhat challenging situation her heart would begin to race, her hands would become clammy, and her mouth would become ickily dry. No matter how much she recited ‘this too shall pass’ to herself, the mantra never seemed to stick.

A few years back, Y/N decided to make peace with her cowardice and therefore come to terms that she was just destined to lead a boring, dull life. No airplanes (it could crash!), no public-speaking (what would everyone think of her?!), no walking atop the space needle (heights!). Which was fine. It was fine with her.

This epiphany (as it was just her luck) took place a year before Bill entered her life. A daring and fearless character, hell, the man was a regular Nik Wallenda. While she spent her days alone answering phones in a cubicle, he was out pursing his dream in one of the most difficult industries out there. If she ever asked him about it, she knew he’d laugh. He’d clutch his stomach and laugh aloud and say, “Yes how courageous of me to go to forty auditions a week and get none of them”. She wouldn’t reply, but in her head she would think, that is exactly my point.

Her cowardice was even the root of most of their arguments. Even though the majority of their disagreements dealt with silly things like forgetting to buy Bill’s peach smelling soap or printer ink, some, however, were very much real. Those debates could be so loud it rattled the ceiling above them and quaked the floor beneath them.

When Bill got the role of Pennywise the argument they had was earth shattering.

“I CANNOT BELIEVE YOU’RE TELLING ME NOT TO TAKE THIS! I’VE BEEN WAITING FOR SOMETHING LIKE THIS FOR MY ENTIRE CAREER!” Bill yelled, he was blue in the face already from screaming and he had stretched to his full height of 6’4. He was still dressed in his plaid yellow pajama pants and an old t-shirt from Y/N’s cousin’s wedding (‘Laura and Tom Forever’ was hardly visible now that he had worn it and washed it countless times). He reached over Y/N’s shoulder and roughly poured coffee into his mug. The hot coffee splashed all over the floor, burning the tips of Y/N’s toes.

“I’M NOT SAYING THAT YOU SHOULDN’T TAKE IT, BILL!” Y/N countered, ignoring the dull pain in her toes. “I’M SAYING THAT MAYBE YOU SHOULD THINK TWICE ABOUT HOW GREAT THIS IS! HOW OFTEN DO YOU THINK WE’LL SEE EACH OTHER ONCE FILMING STARTS HM? ONCE A WEEK? THAT - IS - NOT - GOOD - ENOUGH!” The thing about Y/N (and most cowards for that matter) was that she could never let an argument go. Once she started she was like a ball rolling down a hill. She couldn’t ever walk away for fear of what might happen if she did; would he walk away too?

“I THINK WE’LL WORK IT OUT! HONESTLY YOU’RE JUST BEING SELFISH AS ALWAYS!” Bill screeched back, but as he used his arms to gesture the rest of the coffee in the mug spilt onto the floor. Y/N jumped and retreated but, if she were to be honest, she wasn’t quite sure if it was because of the coffee or because of the vile in Bill’s words. Selfish as always, he had said. Though they had made up eventually, after cleaning the coffee and apologizing to one another profusely, she couldn’t get those words out of the back of her mind. Like a ghost they followed her, when Bill came home for the first time since filming started, Selfish as always, when she met the cast of the Loser’s Club, Selfish as always, when Y/N went to set to see Bill, Selfish as always. Perhaps it was in the nature of the cowards, to be selfish, always fearing the ultimate thing as they watched their own backs.

So Y/N tried to make peace with that development too.

“Hey honey,” Bill murmured as he leant down to peck Y/N’s buttery lips. She had just gotten off the plane, her pillow still hanging around her neck and headphones spilling from her ears, she lugged a heavy carry on bag. “Let me get that for you,” Bill said, still just as quiet as he attempted to grab the handle of the case but Y/N immediately used her right hand to pull it away from his helpful grasp.

“I got it babe,” Y/N replied, rubbing her boyfriend’s shoulder comfortingly with her free hand. He looked at her, eyebrows furrowed, lips apart for only a moment, before shaking it off and telling her all about his day (“I told you about how I was nervous for that scene but Andy said to just…”). Y/N listened carefully, trying to hang onto every word to ask him about later. As Bill spoke on and on and on, Y/N nodded, laughed, smiled at what she hoped were all appropriate times. She dragged her suitcase along the cold floor of the airport, finally reaching the sliding glass entrance doors which revealed a cloudy scene. There were plenty of places she would’ve rather been then cloudy and rainy Vancouver (take for example sunny California), but Bill had wanted her here to experience the full screening of IT with the rest of the cast and crew. Therefore here she was.

Once they reached Bill’s car, Bill, helpful bugger that he was, took Y/N’s suitcase, opened the car door for her, and buckled her seatbelt. Selfish as al-. She stopped herself from thinking the rest, breath in, breath out. Breath in, breath out. She had been concentrating so much so on her breathing that, before she could realize it, she was sitting in front of a big blank movie screen in a small, freezing theater. She could slightly remember going to bed the night before, being pulled by the waist into Bill’s long and strong arms. She could slightly remember getting dressed this morning, being prepped on what she could and could not reveal to the public about the movie (like she’d be able to talk to any sort of media).

As the introduction music played and the screen blinked to life, Bill wrapped his arm around her shoulders, pulling her into him like he had done last night. He looked at her, smile wider than Y/N had ever seen before and whispered in her ear (as to not to disturb anyone else in the theater), “Are you excited?” Y/N quickly nodded back, smiling just as wide (but not nearly as genuine), before motioning for him to hush.

As the movie rolled on, the happiness from the cast and crew was palpable, which was ironic considering the dark subject of the film. Bill kept on leaning in to whisper things in her ear and nudge her to let her know to pay attention at certain bits. Y/N was so proud of him. It was truly beautiful to know how talented the person one loves is, but as the scenes played on she couldn’t help herself but tear a bit. She was not necessarily afraid of the movie. Pennywise, for all intents and purposes was her boyfriend, she had seen him in and out of costume a number of times. Regardless, by the time Bill was on screen climbing out from a refrigerator, Y/N couldn’t help but silently sob. Wet, full, heavy tears rolled down her cheeks and pooled into her lap. Selfish as always, Y/N remembered as she rubbed her nose with the back of her sweater, creating a pitiful sniffle that alerted Bill to look at her.

“Y/N, ar-are you crying?” Bill asked, reaching up to touch her cheek with pads of his fingertips. She looked away from him, causing his arm to fall from her face. “Y/N?” He repeated, and she could feel his looming figure ghost over her shoulder. She took a shaky breath in, letting it rattle her rib cage, before grabbing her coat and leaving the small cinema entirely. She pushed her way out of the double doors, and covered her face with her hands, as tears after tears pour from her ducts.

“Y/N! Y/N WHAT THE HELL!” She could hear her boyfriend shout from in the theater, but she ignored it. She simply leant against the wall and sank. Sank to the floor.

“Y/N WHAT - WHAT - oh.” He stopped as he saw her state. Sunken. “What happened? What - is- is it movie?” He didn’t crouch on his knees to comfort her like she had expected him to, rather he just stood aloof.

She wiped tears from her soft cheek and laughed sardonically. “No n-.”

“Then what is it? Why are you -?” Bill asked, Y/N could sense the strain and panic rising in his voice. He waited for a few moments shuffling back and forth on his heels awkwardly as he awaited a response.

“BECAUSE!” She finally yelled, cutting the tension, causing more wet hot drops to squeeze out. “I’m TRYING NOT to be ‘selfish as always’ and I’m TRYING to brave, because I can see how much you love this but - but..” She trailed off, to have the things she have been thinking about over the course of the last year finally vocalize was a relief but she couldn’t help but to stop once she saw Bill crestfallen.

“But what?” Bill whimpered so quietly Y/N wasn’t sure she had actually heard it.

“But I can’t.” She said, pushing herself off the wall and standing up. Tears still streamed down her face and she could tell that her eyes were red and puffy, but she got up anyhow and left.

[surveys-at-your-service]

Survey #470

“how can you choose to let the blind see better than you?”

What was the main character called in the last film you watched? Dewey. What would you name your pet snake if you had one? It would depend on its appearance. The snake I have now is named Venus because of her coloration. Do you like peanuts? Only if they're covered in chocolate or in granola bars in small portions. Have you ever gambled? What was your biggest loss/win? No. What was the last movie you watched? Who did you watch it with? Girt and I watched School of Rock together. What do you eat for breakfast? Excluding the rare occasions my mom cooks something, usually cereal or a sandwich. Do you have a Flickr? I do, but it's abandoned. Anything exciting happening in the month of September? No. When was the last time you had an ice cream sandwich? Oh man, it's been too long. I really want one now. Do you eat breakfast daily? Yeah. What was the last thing to scare you? "Scare" is a strong word, but I was very, very nervous to hear what weight I'd gained since my last doctor's appointment. Do you like mustard? Yeah, I do. Do you have a desktop computer or laptop? A laptop. Do you like to play Jenga? I guess? I don't really have an opinion on it. Do you like Fresca? Not very, but I'll drink it if I really want a soda and it's the only option. How many towels do you use after a shower? Just one. Would you ever flash a cop if you knew you'd get out of a ticket? Um, no thank you. What is your favorite thrill ride ever? I don't like those. I'm afraid of puking or fainting. Biggest irrational fear? Truly irrational, probably whale sharks. Favorite movie sequel? Hm. If you had endless funds, where would you buy most of your clothes? Cloak and Rebel's Market. How many jobs have you had? Three, technically. What is your favorite thing to do in your city? Oh hun, fun doesn't exist here. This place sucks. Have you ever gone strawberry picking? Ha ha, yes... but I was a little kid that absolutely gorged on the strawberries instead of putting them in my basket. The person that worked there didn't make my mom pay for what I did or anything, but they made a joke about weighing me to check the damage I did, ha ha. My face was COVERED in strawberry juice. I wish I could actually remember the occasion, but I was too young. How many times have you seen a doctor this month? It feels like a lot. >_< I had to get blood drawn for two different things on separate appointments, I had a follow-up appointment with my primary physician about my weight, I recently spoke to my therapist and psychiatrist... Could you pull off orange hair? I've actually considered like, a light creamsicle orange. I actually edited a photo of me with my current hair style trying different colors, and that tint looked pretty cute. Do you shave your legs? It sounds dumb, but yes, now that I'm in a relationship. I feel obligated to at least try and be attractive by societal standards. I know it seriously doesn't matter, but I would be so inexplicably mortified if he saw my unshaven legs kalsdj;flkasdjwe What type of weather is your favorite? Snowy! Coolest place you've ever been? Disney World, probs. Do you like corn on the cob? Yeah, man. Have you ever waited tables? No. Build your favorite pizza. Soft pan crust, your average amount of sauce and a good amount of cheese with various meats on it. What did you last get fancy for? I wouldn't say I got like, super fancy, but I wore a nice shirt and a necklace when Girt came over for the first time as a couple. I thought we were actually leaving the house to go out to dinner, but the plan was actually to have Buffalo Wild Wings delivered. It was totally fine by me, I'd just misunderstood. Dream pet? A female Brazilian Black tarantula named Black Betty. :') Do you tend to get clingy in relationships? I know I do. What is the last horror movie you watched? It's sad that I don't know. :( Would you be grossed out if your best friend mooned you? No, I'd just be extremely confused lmao. What is the last thing that you drank? Milk. Currently popular song that you can't stand? I have zero idea what songs are popular right now. What is the weather like right now? Too fuckin' hot to be mid-September. Do you have favorite type/brand of pen? I mean, I like the feel of gel pens. I don't know about brands. What is your go-to snack at the convenience store? Some form of Reese's. Popular drink that you dislike? Coffee shocks the most people. What TV show are you waiting on to return/create a new season? None. What is something you currently want but cannot afford? Oh, dear. -_- Do you have sensitive skin? Very. How many toilets are in your house? Two. Do you have an older sister? Three that I know, one that I don't really count because I know nothing about her and have never spoken to her. What color is your mum’s car? White. Do you live in an apartment? No. Cats are usually cuter than dogs right? Kittens are generally cuter than puppies, imo. Where do you keep your kitty litter box? It has to stay in my bedroom, which I hate. Mom insists on in being in here so I don't forget to clean it. My memory is awful, but I'm preeeetty sure I'd remember to give my cat a clean place to use the bathroom if it was kept in the spare room by the door... Are you rude to little children? No; even if I don't really like kids, that is something I definitely avoid. Kids should never lose their hope in or love for humanity, and I would absolutely hate to be one of those people that makes the human race appear unpleasant. Are you a lighter complexion than your father? BY FAR. He's a mailman so is out in the sun nearly every day, so he's pretty damn dark to be Caucasian. I wouldn't be surprised if by his complexion he's ever been mistaken for being Hispanic, because the color definitely fits. Do you like apricots? No. Are banana chips delicious? Ew, that sounds gross. Do you like kinky sex? I wouldn't know, my dude. I've never really explored outside of pretty vanilla stuff. What is one thing you will never do again? Rely solely on another person for happiness. Would you rather be twice as smart or twice as happy? Twice as happy. That's not even a competition. What would your parents be surprised to learn about you? I very legitimately wonder if I would be disowned for how fucked up some of the shit I write is, ha ha. Mom would probably cry if she saw some of even the milder stuff and force the topic to come up in therapy. If you could have been a child prodigy what would you have wanted to be skilled at? Maybe painting? If earth could only have one condiment for the rest of time, what would you pick to keep around? Hmmm... I suppose ketchup. Do you think it’s important to stay up to date with the news? I think it is, but I don't. .-. What is the best present you could ever receive? An all-expenses-paid trip to South Africa to visit and tour with the Kalahari Meerkat Project to meet and photograph the meerkats. :''''''''''') Would you give up one of your fingers if it meant you’d have free WiFi wherever you go, for the rest of your life? Nah. That's what data is for, lol. If someone told you you could give one person a present and your budget was unlimited–what present would you get and for whom? A new car for Mom. Giant house in a subdivision or tiny house somewhere with a view? Oh, that is SO easy. Give me the view. Well wait, HOW tiny is the house? My answer would change if it was one of those truly mini houses that would make me feel claustrophobic as shit. What was your favorite Disney movie as a kid? The Lion King. Still is. Do you brush your teeth in the bathroom, or do you get bored & roam around? I roam around. Does your city/town have a little festival/carnival every year? Yes. I never really pay attention tho 'cuz I never go. Have you ever been to an apple orchard? No, but I would love to go. Were there any cartoons your parents didn’t let you watch as a kid? Except "adult" cartoons obviously, no. Could you handle motherhood? No fucking way. Being entirely serious, I think I'd either end up dead or horribly depressed, and the kid psychologically damaged to some extent from having an unstable mother. Like do not get me wrong, I'd try very hard, but I know I couldn't stay sane and happy as a mom. Have you ever touched a squirrel? No. What's better, candles or incense? Incense. What movie did you see the most in theaters? I don't watch movies in theaters twice. It's expensive to go even once. Who played the best Batman? Idk. I didn't watch all the movies. Who’s the best American Idol thus far? *shrug* What’s likely to happen next in your family - wedding, funeral, or birth? Uh, I suppose a wedding? None seem likely any time soon. Do you like hot, cold, or lukewarm showers? Hot. Have you ever taken part in a threesome? No, not my jam. Do you plan on having both your parents at your wedding? Yep. Which movie’s musical score is truly memorable? Tarzan came to mind very quickly. What’s your favorite scene from the movie Titanic? Idk, I've only seen it once. Which TV show theme music do you remember most? That '70s Show. Have you ever bounced any checks? ... I don't even know what that means. :x Have you ever been snipe hunting? I will never in my life hunt in any way, shape, or form. Do you try to be politically correct? For the most part, but I do believe it's gone too far. Generally though, I try to conform to the "rules" to avoid offending someone. What’s your favorite kind of sea critter? Bottlenose dolphins, various types of whales, sea turtles... I don't think I could pick one. Have you ever tasted locally-made honey before? Does it count if it's from a honeysuckle flower? Do you like to wear toe socks? No, they're mad uncomfortable imo. Have you ever worn bright red lipstick? Yes. Do you think raccoons are adorable, like I do? BABIES!!!!!!!!!!!

[1dhq]

How was it Julia omg tell us EVERYTHING.

it was surreal. this is gonna be long and rambly but i can’t leave anything out. if i had to choose one word to describe the whole experience it‘d be special.

we arrived at the venue at 5am and had prepared to queue all day, which was more than worth it. at first i thought security was making a way bigger deal about things than necessary but i absolutely ate my words because it was smooth-sailing for everyone all day. super well-handled and kudos for putting so much effort into ensuring everyone’s safety and enjoyment. not only did we get to be pretty close to the stage (i‘m getting to the show in a bit) but we also had the chance to meet the most incredible people throughout the entire day. i expected the show to be pretty rainbow-filled from the projects alone but it was even more mindblowing than i could have ever hoped for. it felt like everywhere you looked there were people carrying rainbow flags of some sort. special shoutout to everyone who brought goodies for others and THANK YOU to every single person to took the time to come up to me and talk to me and ask for stickers. i‘m not one to toot my own horn but the dozens of times that people said “thank you so much for doing this“ made my day. so thank you for being accepting, for participating, for being there, for being open and for celebrating with me.

it’s no surprise that the show was beyond words too. MUNA were amazing, they were so happy and appreciative and they enjoyed us just as much as we enjoyed them. we thanked them with a sea of rainbows.

harry was.. a vision. i’ve seen one direction twice before but never in a small venue like this and certainly not from up close. he is so slender and young but he demands the stage. he paid special attention to both balconies where people had draped several rainbow flags, asking them how they were and saying hi. it was all smiles and appreciation. i don’t need to tell you that his voice is one of the most beautiful things on this earth or that he went crazy for kiwi and what makes you beautiful. what i found much more fascinating was how the crowd and harry carried each other. we were fucking LOUD. we danced, we sang, we jumped and he was right there with us. some of my friends even told me the bar staff in the back deserted their posts to film and dance along. and he can count in german hahaha! it was so special to hear harry emphasise how colourful we were and see him proudly wear and wave that rainbow flag. culminating in SOTT and the most beautiful display of rainbows i’ve ever seen in my life. the video i posted is just a small fraction of the 5+ minutes of the way the show closed. when the lights came up everyone was crying and hugging and trying to comprehend what just happened. a harry styles show will not just go down as an anecdote told in passing, it will go down as a vivid memory of something massive happening. to steal MUNA’s words.

thank you, harry, for being you and for embracing us as your own. thank you, cologne, for being liberating and safe.

[teapotfiction]

Ok buckle up kiddos...

...because I’ve slept on yesterday’s episode and I have a lot of thoughts. (The inner literature grad in me has been twitchy twitchy twitching).

Now, there were a lot of problematic things and inconsistencies which I don’t really want to get into in this. Mostly because it would take up the entire post, also because I think most of us are all too aware of where the real character stretches occurred (unless there is more to this episode than we know yet.).

So where to start?

Betty.

I think Betty broke all of our hearts this episode. Lili’s acting was astounding (did we expect anything else?). It’s heartbreaking because it’s the all too familiar trope of the person who most needs her friends, pushing them away. I struggle with the lack of communication between her and Jughead, but the tension between them was planted in the episode before. I’m struggling a little with the timeline of Riverdale too. Some sloppy dialogue led us to believe that it’d only been a few days, but the characterisation and more specifically, the dramatic changes in character suggest a much longer timeframe.

Betty’s character has changed. Season 1 Betty was desperate to keep people together; sometimes at cost to herself. (Think the Veronica/Archie situation, she was so desperate not to lose her friends that initially she didn’t give herself the time she needed to get over her own heartbreak). She wouldn’t let Jughead push her away in S1 E10; even in S2 E4 she accepted his explanation quickly for the sake of their relationship. The Black Hood is hitting at the very essence of Betty; her desire to appease those around her. Aside from the very real threat of, y’know, a murderous psychopath who may or may not kill those she loves, it is devastating to see Betty isolated because we know that is the very thing she fears. (Think back to the amount of times she’s defied her mother, or other authority figures and stuck up for her friends. For Betty, and her unwavering loyalty, her friends have always come first. It’s led her to bite her tongue, to go along with Veronica even when she’s felt uncomfortable, and maintain the friendship with Archie even when she was hurting. It’s also what we love most about her relationship with Jughead. More on that later…) The Black Hood is playing a deeply clever and manipulative psychological game with her. He knows her well enough to know that her relationships are her priority and her drive. Because once she’s destroyed those, at his bequest, what does Betty Cooper have left? He is destroying the very core of Betty; and by implication the very core of Riverdale.

Speaking of Betty’s relationships - this moves me onto Archie. I, for one, am enjoying his character arc. I think it’s important that he’s (finally!) being shown as someone who is a good friend to Betty. It’s a pity this wasn’t really featured in Season 1, because it made their friendship look entirely one sided, and made a lot of the audience fairly unsympathetic towards him. Had we had a bit more of their friendship build up before he turned down Betty’s advances, I think we’d have had a lot more empathy for him having to have that conversation with someone that he cared so much about. (No, I’m not defending the way he did things in Series 1; he went about it in entirely the wrong way and was also having a wholly inappropriate affair with a teacher, but - big but - he is a 16 year old boy and teenagers are horribly inept at dealing with things properly. That’s just life.) I do think sometimes we forget how hard it is to be the heartbreaker rather than the heartbroken because that’s not the story that’s ever focused on in TV and Film. Anyway, I digress. Seeing Archie and Betty work well in last night’s episode was important - just introduced far too late. It helped us understand why Betty asked Archie to do her dirty work and break up with Jug. (Must. Not. Cry. Must. Not. Cry.)

I’ve seen a lot of criticism of how Archie handled the break up with Jug. But consider this - Betty’s ‘It doesn’t have to cruel’ was indicative of her mental state, her desire to protect Jug and her need to convince herself she was doing the best by him. It was the only thing she could think of to convince Archie to do it. It wasn’t a realistic request. Betty knew this. That’s why she said ‘it doesn’t HAVE to be cruel’ - not, ‘don’t be cruel’. Subtle, but important difference. Because, for Jug to believe Archie, it had to be exactly that, cruel. It had to be cruel enough that Jughead would take it on face value and wouldn’t call Betty to verify. It had to be cruel enough that he really wouldn’t come near her. It had to be cruel enough that it would close off the final, vulnerable link between the two.

And it was. It was cruel, in the first instance, that she sent Archie and didn’t do it herself, because (as has already been discussed at length) it played into Jughead’s worst insecurities. It was also necessary, because she knows that Jughead can see through people (Ref, when he visits his dad in prison and says something along the lines of ‘my dad’s been lying to me for years, and he’s never been very good at it’). She couldn’t do it herself because she wouldn’t have the resolve if Jughead started to doubt the sincerity of her words. She also knows that he is particularly susceptible to ideas planted in her head. Her telling him outright that she didn’t want to be with him, would never be as effective as Archie planting the seed of doubt. Because that’s what he did - the doubt that not only does she not want to be with him, she’s been thinking it for a while, he’s been too blind to see it, and that she’s couldn’t tell him herself. It leads his imagination into overdrive. Why hasn’t she told him? Has he really been that distant? Is his new lifestyle too much for her? Is she too scared to talk to him now, to tell him the truth? How did he miss that she was suffering? Did she know he was lying to her at Pop’s? Because there’s a grain of truth in the way that they have been distant - and he knows he’s lied to her at least twice - when Archie delivers the message, choosing the words that he does (‘you can’t have them and her’), it’s all too easy for him to believe that this is real.

It also hinges on Archie’s character. Archie has many flaws, but he is essentially a truthful character. He doesn’t tend to lie. He sometimes doesn’t tell people everything, but if he is telling you something, it’s almost certainly the truth.

So basically, kudos to Archie, who was put in a very difficult position (and let us not forget, he must have felt sick to his stomach when he saw Jughead freely associating with the group of guys that he literally fought in the previous episode). Especially when you consider that Archie has quite a simplistic view of the world; good guys are good, bad guys are bad. There’s not a lot of room for nuances - especially post-Fred being shot. He wasn’t just saying what he did to stick in the knife or be unnecessarily cruel; he was saying it to be believable and because when he saw Jughead with the serpents he realised that it was true. Jughead can’t have the North and the South - not when they’re at war.

(Phew, that was long).

(The above assumes that the breakup isn’t just some rouse they’ve prearranged and it’s a code etc etc… I’d love to believe this interpretation, but the ending of the episode discredits this for me.).

And finally we come to Jughead. Juggie. Jug.

Oh geez. Where to start?

It is Jughead’s decision to join the Serpents before Betty breaks up with him that I find interesting - and problematic. If it had come after the breakup, the motivation could be dismissed as a simple knee-jerk reaction to feeling like he’s already lost everything. So it is very telling that the writers decided to position his loss mid-way through his serpent trials.

It’s quite the character change; this is the boy who literally chose homelessness over accepting his father’s life and was completely shocked when the serpents that he - and Betty - had been defending for most of series one, presented him with a bloodied body in his living room. Certainly, I think there’s more than a little bit of him that is seeking his place in the world and desperate to cling onto what he has left of his father. Certainly there’s a part of Jughead that’s always wanted to fit in. Series 1 Jughead found that with Betty; Series 2 Jughead is more ‘unmoored’.

Do I even need to discuss the lack of communication between him and Betty? I mean, what happened to them? Can we smash their heads together or lock them in a cupboard until our little beans start to talk to each other? What ever happened to that couple that we held a candle to as being one of the first, extremely healthy communicative relationships?

I am struggling with the writers’ decision to have Jughead embrace the violence of the Serpents. (Also, do not get me started on the Serpents’ initiation processes, and why are they a bunch of teenagers with just a couple of adults hanging about. It’s WEIRD, and bordering on too ridiculous even for Riverdale. And as for the bloody rattlesnake...). However, we do know that Jughead has quite the streak of self-sabotage, and is more than the ‘conscientious objector’ (He punched Chuck after all). He’s also used to being the one who’s left out. The one who’s family is unreliable. The one, for whom, things tend to turn to shit. This means when it comes to himself, he’s defeatist. He places little value upon his own happiness, and he will sacrifice it for what he thinks is the greater good. Sometimes, when you’re in this headspace (and especially when you’re a 16 year old, which I keep banging on about because I have to keep reminding myself that’s what they are!), you’re blinded by the idea that the decision where you’re suffering the most, must be the one which protects others the most. He’s not going to take the path that an older, more rational person, who is more invested in self-preservation might take.

The bit which sticks out for me is that I just feel Jughead would see the whole thing as a little bit ridiculous. We get a moment of the old Juggie in the trailer going over the ‘rules’ with Toni, but, surely, someone like Jughead - who is wise beyond his years in many respect and has a vast and sophisticated sphere of reference -would see the serpents for their frat-boy mentality instantly. As much as he wants to be close to his father, he doesn’t idolise him. He sees FPs faults, and until a couple of episodes ago, he seemed determined to avoid repeating them. I really struggle with how quickly he changed allegiance.

And then there’s Toni. Another allegiance change. I best get this bit over with quick because it makes me so sad. I really wanted to like her character. I was interested to see how the SouthSide was represented by someone who - unlike Jughead - wasn’t desperate to shake himself from its shackles. And I’m disappointed. Perhaps she’ll get a bit more depth of character later. Perhaps. I’m disappointed that she’s - so far - been brought in to compete with Betty (I am so done with female characters being pitted against each other). I’m disappointed that the writers have just shifted the Betty-Veronica-Archie love triangle to a Jughead-Betty-Toni one. She’s so obviously designed to be the opposite of Betty (even down the the clothes; black vs pastels), and Jughead has been her aim since she arrived. He carries the mystique of being Serpent royalty (to her at least, he doesn’t seem to hold that for the other serpents). It feels a little forced. I’ve have really liked her to be a friend. And if she had ulterior motives, did they have to be romantic?

So much about THAT scene upset me. Okay. So we have Jughead, at his absolute lowest, completely vulnerable. He’s lost everything, and feels like all his ties to the North have been severed in the worst possible way. But let’s not cast him as a victim entirely. He must have had an inkling about Toni’s intentions - from her volunteering to show him around on day one, to her hanging about his trailer, her (subtle but still evident) insults towards Betty, the signs have been there and he’s never discouraged her.

Actually, there are quite a few comments from Jughead throughout the episode that suggest he might be a little interested - or intrigued. (‘It was something you said, actually.’ etc). Here, he is the one who lets her in; he volunteers that Betty is a non-issue. Whether or not we want to accept it, it certainly looks like he wants to kiss her. And he kisses her back. He leans in and kisses her back. Not cool Jug. Did you want my heart to splinter into about a thousand pieces on the floor? If it was just the kiss and no comments, I’d be feeling a little bit better about the situation. But the combination…. Ack.

Until we see next week’s episode and the aftermath of the kiss of doom (sorry. Sorry. I just.. I’m not okay.) it’s hard to analyse exactly what’s going on with Jughead here. Is it desperation for something tangible? Is it that he’s realised there could be something with Toni, that represents his new life? (The one he can actually have - not the one that he felt like he was just chasing all the time). Is it purely a moment of weakness, wanting to feel close to someone to fill the void left by Betty? (Please. Please. Please). Will he regret it or pursue it? I’m too blinded by what I want to happen to be able to comment on that directly.

All I know is that the saddest sight of the show for me was Jughead sitting in his trailer, icepack on his head, new tattoo sealing his fate (the permanency of that really upset me. He’s fully committed. There’s no going back.) leaning in towards Toni - because he’s literally got no one else. He’s spiralling; he’s been thrust into a horrible situation but made it about a thousand times worse for himself.

Actually, no. The saddest sight of the entire show was Betty, who doesn’t have anyone.

Thanks Riverdale Writers. I didn’t want my mascara to stay on anyway.

(I don’t actually expect anyone to read all the way through, I just needed to get things off my chest).

TL;DR

I’m heartbroken.

Someone needs to have a word with Jug.

His foster parents are going to have a tough time explaining the state of his face to social services should they pop in anytime soon.

I vote we all step in to wrap Betty in cotton wool and protect her from everything.

Of all the crimes that the Black Hood has committed, breaking up Bughead was his worst.

[beeandhearttattoos]

Boy Next Door (Part 2)

A/N: It has been a long while since I’ve written fluff, so I was incredibly glad that you guys liked the first part! It was absolutely insane. I’m thinking a part 3 to end this fic, and I hope you’ll like that. Like the first one, please tell me what you think. I would appreciate it!

The one where Harry teases her a lot, and Y/N keeps getting smitten

One of the things that Y/N loved the most is her work. It wasn’t anything glamorous or whatever, but it made her gain more friends, co-workers and regular customers alike. She actually treated them like family already, and they treated her like theirs too. So when she’s gotten to work that morning with a smile on her face as she bobbed her head to the music playing, they were in for a treat.

“Someone’s chippy today,” Maria, a lovely thirty-year-old mom who works with her, pointed out as Y/N placed her things down.

She huffed, taking off her earphones and settling herself to get ready for work, “What are you talking about?”

“You’ve got that glow in you, sweetheart,” Maria teased.

She finally shrugged it off with a shake of a head and a chuckle as she wore her apron and started with her day. Mind you it wasn’t even the last time that anyone had noticed her being too cheerful that day, but she just brushed them off with a good, “I’ve just had a good night’s sleep is all.”

“So no more noises from your neighbor?” Alan, the cook, inquired.

Y/N kept herself busy by cleaning up the counter, “There still is, but it’s not unpleasant.”

The day went by pretty smoothly, a few bumps here and there, but it’s nothing that they can’t handle. And by the time it was already three and the place looked almost deserted, most of them were just having coffee by the bar, letting the day pass by as they wait for more customers to come around. It was when the door opened and Harry strides in, wearing a white button down tucked in his black skinny jeans.

“Hey, neighbor,” he smiled, placing down the stack of papers he’s been carrying around on the bar next to her.

She blinked a few times, digesting in what was in front of her, “Hey, you. What are you doing here?”

“Said you worked here, so I wanted to visit,” he started, eyeing the papers, “And to ask you if you’ve heard the songs already.”

“I-” she hesitated, contemplating whether she should immediately say that she did, or make herself look cool and say she had to go to work and will listen to it when she gets back home. Does she seem too eager when she says she’s already listened to it on her way to work and loved all three of them? Would he be flattered? Would he be creeped out? There were so many questions!

“So what can I get for you, darling?” Maria interfered before Y/N can even open her mouth again.

Harry smiled, “Coffee, please,” he said before turning back to his friend.

Y/N excused herself once she’s seen someone come in and had taken a seat on her section, happily greeting the customer and taking their order. On her way back to the counter, Maria walked over to her and whispered, “He’s the neighbor you’re talking about?”

She only nodded, bracing herself from the teasing that she’ll be receiving, “No wonder you were in such a good mood,” her co-worker winked and walked away.

More of these meet ups had constantly happened. Harry would usually wait up for her to finish her shift, and they’d go back home together and have dinner while watching a film either of them had chosen that night. At some nights, when he would suggest a horror film (basically just to tease Y/N because she liked to pretend that she’s a big girl and can handle the gore and the terrifying bits), he’d watch her curl up into a ball at the opposite end of the couch, with her hands over her face whenever it’s gotten too much. Sometimes, he’d also notice her flinch when something or someone jumps out on screen, and that just made him giggle a little bit.

And of course, Y/N enjoyed Harry’s company as well. She’s listened to him sing his songs, or watched him write the lyrics and create melodies. Maybe once or twice asking for her input on it, to which she gladly pitched in a few lines. She’s also been taught how to play the guitar. And mind you, it took a whole lot for her to concentrate while feeling his fingers move with hers, placing them through each string while going through different chords, explaining which frets she needed to go to, and how to strum correctly. She genuinely loved his passion for it all, and she loved how serious he looks while doing it. Even when he’s just grading papers, with his brows furrowed, lip tucked in his teeth and his hand fluidly moving through the paper as he writes down notes and grades.

So maybe one day when she was staying at his place (like the usual, they rarely hang out at hers), while Harry was holding his guitar and she was preparing them tea, that’s when he heard. A soft hum coming from her lips, making him stop his playing to listen; and the melody seemed so familiar to him. His eyes widened, blinking a few times as he spoke, “You’re humming my song,” his smile was slowly creeping up to his face.

Y/N didn’t realize it. It was just the first thing that came on her mind! She did hum or even sing while she’s at home alone, or around the people at work, but never with Harry. And now, she was doing that, with his song in mind! She started blushing, “It just came in my head.”

“Have I gotten myself a fan right here?” now he’s just full on smiling. He stood up, walking towards her and leaning against the counter, “You listened to them then.”

“Yeah, I did. A few times,” that was a lie, she’s been listening to his songs every single day as she goes to work and back home. They're the perfect amount of time for her walk, apparently. Or at least she’s trying to convince herself that that was the reason.

“Aw, you’re cute when you’re blushing,” he said and leaned in closer, “Would you like a selfie with me? Maybe an autograph?”

“Oh, shut up,” Y/N turned away from him, focusing back on their tea.

Okay, maybe she is a little smitten for Harry.

He never let it go. Every single time they were together, he’d say, “There’s my number one fan!” with a huge smile on his face and his arms stretched wide as if he’s waiting for her to hug him. It was tempting, but the thought of being that close to him made her blush even more, so she’ll just shake her head and laugh at him and go to his place and do what they always do.

It was how it all happened every time, except for this one day. Y/N was on her way home, the usual songs still playing and she’s still singing with it in her head when she saw it. It was that girl from the other floor, with brown hair and blue eyes. She looked gorgeous, really, Y/N thought when she first saw her long ago, and the other times she’s seen her. More like a model if anything. She was talking to Harry outside his door, giggling and touching his arm. Now, Y/N didn’t know what she felt, but it wasn’t the best. Warmth boiling up from her stomach to her throat and her heart started beating erratically it was quite concerning. She didn’t realize she was just there staring at them, but they never noticed. They were all too invested in their conversation to see her planted to where she was.

She was quick to recover the moment she realized it, but it was unavoidable that she will be seen once she walked towards her door, but she didn’t care. She didn't care that Harry had his full attention to this girl. She didn’t care that he was chuckling at whatever it is she’s saying. She didn’t care that he's not brushing her hand off his arm. She. Didn’t. Care.

So she went straight to her door without so much of a greeting to Harry, but he stopped her, “Oi, bunny,” he called out as she slipped in the key to her door, “We’re still on fo’ movies, yeah?” the girl was just eyeing her up and down, raising a brow at her.

Y/N felt twitching on her lip, forcing herself to keep a straight face, “Of course, love,” she replied, darting her eyes to the girl beside Harry and raising her brow in return, “I’ll be at your place in a while,” she finished, hitting the final nail as she flashed a smile on both of them and opened her door, swiftly walking in.

Harry beamed back, and the girl? Well, she’s already forgotten on Y/N’s book.

Their movie night went on quite smoothly. This time they’ve decided on watching a rom-com, both of them mouthing the words on some parts. Especially the confessions of love or the incredibly dramatic event that will turn the whole movie around. And no matter how many times both of them have seen any film, when someone cries, they cry too.

Dinner was quite nice as well, Harry insisted on cooking this time, preparing a pasta dish that was genuinely amazing and Y/N loved it. She also loved how he looked while he’s cooking, wearing these adorable pink with white polka dots apron that she gave him. Although no matter how much she’s tried to forget it, the slow burn of her jealousy still lingered. And as the time went on and the night was about to end, she couldn’t help it.

“So what were you guys talking about earlier?” she asked when they were seated on the couch.

He furrowed his brows, trying to recall who she was talking about, “Oh! Ashley? We just bumped into each other. She lives upstairs?”

“Yeah, I saw her a couple of times before. She’s really pretty,” her voice was faltering at the end of her sentence, thinking why is she even trying to have this conversation with him.

“Are you jealous, bunny?” Harry smiled, leaning in closer to her spot.

The pet name made her quite relieved that he isn’t mad or irritated about all this, “What? Me? Why would I be?”

“Don’t worry, you’re still number one in my book,” he pulled her in for a hug, squeezing her until she squeaked.

“Oh, piss off,” Y/N pushed him off, still feeling his warmth hold on to her body.

“You love me,” he continued to tease, a smirk plastered on her face.

“I do not,” she said to him, but it felt like she was also convincing herself about it.

Everything died down after that exchange. They went back to their usual routine with her lying on the couch as she reads papers that he’s written lyrics on and him seated on the floor with his guitar on his hands and a pencil tucked on his ear while he’s writing down melodies. With a few glasses of wine she’s had (and he had some too. Both of them feeling quite tipsy already), her mind started racing as she looked at him. She figured she could stay like this for hours with him and never get bored. Everything just seemed so effortless no matter what they do. Whether it be discussing lyrics, or changing melodies, or even talking random things that she had read days before. All of those seem so easy. And she loved how everything was so easy with him.

Time also flew by really quickly every time they were together. It was already almost two in the morning when she glanced at her phone. With a yawn escaping her lips, she began to stretch, hearing a few bones crack. Y/N pushed herself to sit on the couch to tell him she has to leave and that she’ll see him tomorrow.

“Well, this has been a fun date,” he wiggled his brows and ending it with a wink at her. God, he’s so drunk, she thought.

Her eyes widened, “What the hell do you mean? This isn’t a date!”

Harry slowly nodded, guiding her to the door with his hand on her lower back. She just shook her head and gave up, feeling the effects of the night creep up to her. With the thoughts of her bed coming to mind, her eyes started drooping, wishing she could just be there immediately. As he opened the door, she felt him squeeze at her side. He leaned in closer to her, so his lips were brushing over her ear and the smell of wine was still in his breath, “It is if you want it to be, love.”

Okay, maybe she wanted to, but he doesn’t have to know about that.