#that? where the fuck did That come from? idk man the faeries are fuckin around they're messing with people's heads they can do whatever the

[i-am-just-a-skeleton]

do you ever just re-read your old fics and go 'hey actually this is Great i'm really good at this, let's fuckin go'

in other news i may in fact post a new chapter of Fireflies before the end of august

[fktonofwhatnow]

ok hold on. acomaf is my fave book out of the whole series (it's mostly out of emotional value, i read it when i was younger and didn't have a real understanding out trauma and abuse only that i saw a character i loved getting out of a bad situation and getting happy) so obviously i didn't mind feysand being endgame and the development all of the characters had. i can accept tamlin turned out like that is realistic due to his trauma, i can accept feyre had to flee because it wasn't right for her, but the thing is after acofs i see no point to feyre leaving tamlin when rhysand ends up doing everything they told us tamlin was evil and unredeemable for. hiding the risks of her pregnancy, putting on shields on her, having feyre need to compromise over it. i honestly felt so betrayed by that. i'm not saying feyre and tamlin were good for each other, but it doesn't feel worth it to dismiss the potential they had for what we got with feysand.

also, sarah learn to treat "ugly" trauma with respect challenge. no they don't need to learn to physically fight to fight it. no they don't need a love interest to overcome it. yes the behaviors acquired from trauma and abuse aren't pretty but that doesn't mean a person is undeserving of kindness and compassion.

i think i had a point somewhere but i can't get to it. so hope you don't mind my rambling. anyway i loved your meta about tamlin i think he deserves better too

HOLY SHIT THIS ONE IS SO GOOD OK IM SO EXCITED

Bro you are so fine, I'm the one who doesn't make any sense and I totally get what you're trying to say. (Acomaf was actually my favorite book in the series too ngl)

BUT FUCK YEAH LETS TALK ABOUT RHYSAND.

I don't think it's a secret that Rhysand is one of my least favorite characters in media, probably ever? (How do I even put this into words) He is a bad character and to me, laughably so. You know how if you've ever written a character, there's that little phase that's like "what if people don't like this character' and then you're sad for a little bit? That's how Rhysand feels to me. He feels like SJM looked at this character and thought "I can't stand the thought of people not liking this character because I love him so much" and then did everything in her power to make sure we know how great he is.

Idk if this is just me screaming into the void, but I get to this place with my characters where like, especially if they are a little more morally gray or their decisions have negative impacts, I understand that I don't need the audience to like my main character. they can stand on their own, they can own up to what they do and they can grow from it. Thats what a good character does. That's how you keep your audience rooting for them. You gotta knock them over sometimes.

SJm doesn't knock Rhysand over. She doesn't push him to make mistakes, apologize, own up and move on. Rhysand has never made a decision that ended poorly for him. Everything goes the way he wants it to, because SJm wants us to know how cool and great he is. People who are cool and great don't make bad decisions! SJm doesn't let Rhysand fail, and she doesn't let him suffer his own decisions. Everyone else suffers his decisions, not him.

Rhysand's reputation as a good person hinges entirely on the audience liking him and/or thinking he's hot. And then what happens when the audience thinks neither of those things? Ya get a rly long post like this by a lil enby who is mad all the time. Rhysand loses all credibility when you look at him through a critical lens. Not a single thing the man does makes any goddamn sense. Here I thought acosf would give us a different perspective on Feysand and I was desperately hoping that Nesta would tell us what she really sees in them and how people around them really feel, I hoped that SjM would throw us for a loop and tell us that hey, she does know that Feysand are fucking toxic as hell and ruin the lives of people around them and she wants to show us that from an outside perspective but noooOoOOOoOoOOOO...

Instead we get Nesta hating herself because Rhysand told her that she shouldn't tell Feyre that Feyre could uh die in childbirth. Hey what the fuck.

Now I don't actually ship feylin, I kinda always sorta knew, even without spoilers, that it wasn't going to work out. Tamlin isn't sjm's idea of a good partner because he's not charming and witty and dark and handsome ya know? We met Rhysand and I knew that I was going to fucking hate this romance. Which sucks because I found Rhysand so intriguing in the first book. Ngl all the time spent in the spring court was kinda boring and every time Rhysand showed up to throw dead faeries at Tamlin I was like "oooooo" and I wanted to know more about why Tamlin, this awkward, blunt and kinda shy dude had beef with this super duper sly and shady man from another court.

I don't know if I've ever said this before, but SJm doesn't let her love interests grow. Rhysand doesn't change over the course of the story because he was already a good guy and his motives were for Feyre's sake I swear, the same goes for Rowan in TOG. SJm doesn't give Rhysand room to change. She needs to get to the part where they fuck make sure everyone knows that Rhysand is a good guy and actually he was good all along so that we like him more than Tamlin. It backtracks on everything bad Rhysand has ever done because you know... He had a good reason! It's fine!

I know it's probably just because SJm doesn't actually know how to write a good character growth arc but... Like can you imagine if Rhysand stayed the bad guy? Or at least remained the bad guy through acotar and acomaf? And then when Rhysand comes to take Feyre for his bargain it really was only to spite Tamlin? What about Rhysand, taking Feyre to the night court with him once a week every month for a long time, if only to see Tamlin's eyes grow darker and emptier every time he goes, and then he really starts to fall in love with Feyre. He's been a monster all this time, angry and cold and cruel and then he actually starts to fall in love. And then to get Feyre to stay he really does try to change, he stops antagonizing Feyre, he stops throwing dead faeries at Tamlin, and he stops harassing the Spring court. He starts spending genuine quality time with Feyre, he starts to learn about her and all the things she likes and he stops trying to get her to come with him just so Tamlin will be mad. He starts asking her to come with him because he wants to be around her and he prays that someday she'll want to be around him too. What if SJm let him grow.

But nahhhhhh instead we have a character who always knows the right answer to things, and he always knows how to fix every issue, and he is always so innovative and outside the box except that he isn't. We get a character who does the same shit as Tamlin but it's ok because he had a good reason not to tell Feyre that she could very well die in childbirth. Uhhhh don't know what that is but uhhh I know he has his reasons because all he has are his reasons.

It would be so easy to hold a mirror up to Rhysand and say "look at this. Look who you are. Do you not look just like Tamlin right now?"

But nooooooooOoOOOo Rhysand doesn't get to be wrong. Rhysand doesn't get to look like Tamlin because Tamlin is evil and Rhysand is definitely NOT I SWEAR.

But yeah I think the point I'm trying to make is that Sarah thinks so highly of Rhysand that he could never do wrong. He could never be like Tamlin, despite the narrative literally telling us the exact opposite.

Like you said, we lost the potential of what feylin could have been if SJm didn't suddenly decide that her audience needs to love Rhysand as much as she does. I think feylin could have been slow and sweet and a story of true healing and learning about one another. I think it would have been kind and steady and lots of "are you ok"s and "I'm sorry"s and "talk to me"s. Everything about Feysand feels rushed and hard and fast and the rest of the world doesn't have time to catch up. It's fucking exhausting to read it ya know what I'm saying.

(also can we talk about Rhysand like dying and Feyre finding the suriel and learning he's her mate and then instead of being like "k let's put a pin in that and fuckin save his life first" she like throws him around and everyone is like "wtf woman" and she's like I neeD tO Be alOnE these people have no idea how to prioritize)

Truly, I think it's innocent to a degree. There is absolutely no harm in wanting people to like your character. The harm comes when you destroy another character with no reason or explanation other than you want people to like a different character. Villain arc? Completely out of left field. You gotta build to that shit or like... Make it so that when you look back you slap your forehead and yell at a wall "OF FUCKING COURSE I SHOULD HAVE SEEN IT"

anyways, SJm treat "ugly" trauma with respect challenge SECONDED.

WELL IM SO SORRY THIS TOOK ME WEEKS YO WRITE IM HAVING A HARD TIME I know it probably doesn't make any sense I can't find my braincells BUT thanks for the ask @xelly

Tell me all your acotar things I love yo hear them !!

[scigebabadook]

PREFERRED NAME — james !

PRONOUNS — she / they

AGE — 20

PINTEREST — HERE ! it’s not pretty but i link my boards w/ every intro so might as well uwu !

DISCORD — @emo stan#3644 i need 2 change it but idk what to yet usdjfkg

TUMBLR (PERSONAL/MUSE/RPH) — @svrgcnts !! 

MYER-BRIGGS — i was an INFP but apparently now i’m an ISTP !!

HP HOUSE — uuhh god ,,, fuck ,, uuhhhhh ,,, slytherin hufflepuff combo

ASTROLOGY — aquarius !

DO YOU BELIEVE IN ASTROLOGY? — 50/50 i just know it’s why i’m unemotional :/

HOW OLD WERE YOU WHEN YOU STARTED RPING ON TUMBLR — 19 but i’ve been rping since i was 10 dfjkmghl

WHAT YEAR WAS IT? — 2018 jdnkmfg

NAME A RANDOM ROLEPLAY THAT STICKS OUT IN YOUR MEMORY — this was like a priv. rp between the three of us but it was a like ... rp based around the spies of this supernatural agency and their lives undercover on a farm ?? idk why they were on a farm. but they were and it was fuckin’ sicc. that was where saige blossomed.

WITHOUT GOOGLING IT FIRST, WHAT DO YOU THINK SIR ELTON JOHN’S NET WORTH IS? — god like ... in the millions ... like high millions ... i refuse 2 be wrong so i’m keepin’ it vague

NAME THE FIRST SONG ON YOUR DISCOVER WEEKLY ON SPOTIFY OR THE FIRST SONG THAT COMES ON APPLE MUSIC / ITUNES SHUFFLE — lately i haven’t been sleeping by spirit club !

NAME A BOOK THAT YOU READ IN SCHOOL THAT YOU SURPRISINGLY LIKED — the great gatsby & pride and prejudice ,,, i ate both of that shit tf up even if i used cliffnotes for all of my tests ,,,

NAME A BOOK YOU HATED THAT MOST PEOPLE LIKED — jnsdkmfg i don’t read a lot of popular books so i’m not ... sure ? what’s hip ? what’s likable ? the only book i can think of that i just. despise. is the hazel wood by melissa albert

WHAT TV SHOW DID YOU RECENTLY BINGE? — i watched half a season of buffy p recently but like ... i don’t think i’m going to finish it ... otherwise i was watching grimm but i also stopped out of sheer laziness

FAVOURITE QUOTE — i don’t know how to read ! but i like uhh  “ She could never be a saint, but she thought she could be a martyr if they killed her quick. “ and anything tht comes out of six of crows (aka i have ‘no mourners, no funerals’ tattoo’d on my very body)

LINK TO A VINE THAT EXUDES YOUR ‘ENERGY’ — lmao

DO YOU WRITE OUTSIDE OF RP? WHAT DO YOU WRITE? — write ... write ? i haven’t heard that name in years ... it’s a lot of urban fantasy / magic realism usually involving faeries.

THREE YOUTUBERS YOU STILL TRUST — trust? in this economy? cryaotic, gus johnson, & jenna marbles

A CELEBRITY CRUSH THAT JUST WON’T QUIT — i don’t get attached 2 celebrities :/ (keira knightley, anne hathaway, i’m just gay :/ )

EVER MEET A CELEBRITY? SHARE YOUR STORY — no but i dream-predicted robin williams’ death :/

WHAT’S YOUR PICTURE-PERFECT NIGHT? — eternal slumber !

A CONSPIRACY THEORY YOU KINDA BELIEVE IN — aliens ... i can’t think of any others atm :/

ARE ALIENS REAL? — yee to the haw, sir

GHOSTS — yes.

BIG FOOT — he won’t call me back so idk

THE LOCHNESS MONSTER? — i hope so !

WHAT WAS THE GENRE OF YOUR LAST DREAM? — brave of u to assume i remember anything but i’m like fairly sure it was romantic slice of life.

DO YOU STILL PLAY POKEMON GO? — no but i used to when i wasn’t a college dropout

WHAT’S A FILM YOU LOVED WHEN YOU WERE YOUNG AND RECENTLY WATCHED, ONLY TO FIND OUT YOU DON’T ANYMORE — that love just doesn’t stop, man ,,, i haven’t watched anything old recently but that’s bc i’m afraid that this exact thing will happen !

DO YOU COLLECT ANYTHING? — boxes :/ buttons :/ knick knacks i buy from goodwill impulsively :/ why do i keep buying pretty glasses i’ll never use? i dunno !! lights that go pretty colors. empty water bottles. dust.

WHAT’S SOMETHING YOU WANT TO LEARN MORE ABOUT BUT YOU’RE TWO LAZY? — aaaaAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

THREE LANGUAGES YOU DON’T SPEAK, BUT WISH YOU COULD — italian, irish or scottish gaelic, wingdings.

A GUILTY PLEASURE MOVIE — literally any movie from the 2000s.

A GUILTY PLEASURE MUSICAL ARTIST — [looks at the 20 emo playlists i’ve been listening 2 for a month now] [sweats nervously] uuh ... um ... the ... um ...

TELEVISION SHOW — is this also a guilty pleasure ... literally ... anything from the 2000s once again ... i love the 2000s ...

NAME A FICTIONAL CHARACTER FROM TV/FILM/MOVIE/GAME/BOOK THAT YOU FIND YOURSELF PROJECTING ON / YOU RELATE TO — uh i semi-related 2 veronica mars’ traumas but that’s all i can remember !

DO YOU FOLLOW ANY SPORTS? WHO DO YOU ROOT FOR? — no.

HOBBIES BESIDES WASTING AWAY HERE? — no.

PLUG A TV SHOW / MOVIE / BOOK / VIDEO GAME / ETC… YOU WISH MORE PEOPLE WOULD CHECK OUT — literally go read six of crows and the raven cycle right mf now. 

WOULD YOU EAT A STRANGER’S FINGER FOR A MILLION DOLLARS? — um. i need more info. is it cooked? is it still on the bone? is it like a rib? is it seasoned? probably not but not b/c of like ... morals, it’s b/c meat grosses me out easily :/

TEAM EDWARD OR JACOB? edward but also alice.

LIVE-ACTION DISNEY MOVIES, YAY OR NAY? — i’m just not a big disney fan in general but ! if it’s done well then why not ,,, it’s all about capitalism and consumerism anyway ,,, and copyright claims ,,,

ON A SCALE OF 1-10, HOW MUCH DID YOU HATE FILLING THIS OUT? – 5/10 but only b/c i hate putting effort into anything that takes more than one (1) brain cell.