#that you need to live at home so u could actually finish ur degree even if home isnt much better cause at least its constant shelter to fin

[artificialqueens]

Me and You Together, 4/10 (Taywhora) - Ortega

fic summary: The cardinal rule of having flatmates is that you Do Not Catch Feelings For Your Flatmates, because everything inevitably goes to shit and gets made horrifically awkward. A’whora and Tayce both know this, but being in first year of uni and making good decisions have never really gone hand in hand.

a/n: fam this response is crazy it really is…thank u all so much for the love, kudos and comments, i’m so sorry if i’ve not managed to reply to urs yet but know that i’ve read them all and cherish every one and i will get round to replying and yelling some love and thanks at u soon!!! pls enjoy this chapter in which A'whora does not possess the flat’s shared brain cell at any point. that being said, i wish all the readers of this fic a very pleasant italicised ‘oh’ xo

last chapter: January-Tayce and A’whora still had unfinished business from a night out and a hungover morning in December.

this chapter: October- The gang make plans for their first year together, Tia gives everyone plans for the evening, and A'whora has a realisation that will change the dynamic of her friendship with Tayce forever.

***

“Bimini, what is it you’re actually doing?”

A’whora’s intrigued by the way her flatmate’s sitting on the sofa: legs crossed, notepad in one hand and a cigarette in the other, and looking deep in thought. They’ve not long since stretched over the smoke detector with a sock, having long since established nobody in the flat minds them smoking indoors as long as the windows are open. Lawrence is beside them on the other end of the sofa having been to all the lectures that’re required of her already today and has got a bright pink, blue and purple-flecked ball of yarn hanging from two knitting needles, with which she seems to be knitting some sort of cosy accessory. It’s a wholesome picture that’s playing out in front of A’whora, one that’s miles away from the raucous, drunk nights they’ve all shared in the first month of uni so far.

“Okay, here’s what it is,” Bimini starts, clicking their long nails together. “I am making us a freshers bucket list, and I want your input.”

“Ooh!” Lawrence perks up beside them, and A’whora, interest piqued, picks up the bowl of pasta, butter and cheese she’s spent all of five minutes making and crosses the room to sit beside her flatmates.

She knows it’s only been a month so far, but she really loves everyone she’s living with. For a start, there are four of them that take classes at the art college (the ‘art hoes’, as Tayce calls them), so they all get to walk to lectures together and hang about between classes and workshops with each other depending on how their days are going. Bimini is almost always in the flat, with not a lot of contact hours making up their journalism degree, so they’re a comforting presence for A’whora to come home to at whatever hour of the day, always asking how she is and always offering to make her coffee. Tia is sweet and funny (if ever-so-slightly grating to her at first) and they’ve bonded over being the only two flatmates seemingly able to keep the place clean and tidy. Lawrence is endearing and big-hearted, if A’whora spends half her life hoping that her next prank isn’t involving her in some way (Ellie is usually the butt of them). Ellie herself is one of A’whora’s closest flatmates; they’ll often stay up half the night finishing prototypes or assignments together, all while watching a film which they have spookily similar taste in- they’ve agreed on 101 and 102 Dalmatians, Hocus Pocus, and The Wizard of Oz so far.

And then there’s Tayce, who A’whora thinks is both the absolute carbon copy of herself and yet also so different, the yin to her yang. Tayce has been her closest friend in the flat since day one when she booted the door to her room down and dragged her out of her emotional stupor, and that’s really what’s set the tone for the rest of their friendship; Tayce, upbeat and motivating, constantly and infectiously helping A’whora feel the same way even when she doesn’t want to go out, or doesn’t feel like dragging herself out of her room for a chill flat night with the others, or even when she just feels like a heap of shit. She’s such a fun and positive person to be around, relentlessly optimistic and goofy, and she brings out that side of A’whora too. As opposed to during sixth form and high school, where she’d put up a front to make sure nobody fucked with her, A’whora finds that at uni she can be the person she truly is and let her guard down a little.

This includes being open about her sexuality for the first time ever. She’s out to her family (for the better or worse), but nobody else back home knows (not even her friends) and she wants to keep it that way for now. But at uni things are different- nobody knows her here, nobody has these preconceived ideas of who she is and who she has to be, so she’d taken the plunge and been open about everything. None of the others had cared of course, in fact they’d all been too excited about the fact there’s not a single straight person in their flat comprised of four lesbians (Tayce, Lawrence, Tia and A’whora), one bi (Ellie) and one pan (Bimini).

“What’ve you got so far?” A’whora asks Bimini, sitting down on the sofa opposite her two flatmates.

Bimini reads off their notepad. “Casino night, bottomless brunch…get the train down to Newcastle, have a big night out, stay out all night an’ get the first train home-”

“Christ, that’ll be a challenge for me, you know I get sleepy around midnight,” Lawrence chuckles.

Bimini shrugs. “We’ll just get you an IV drip of Ellie’s Monster, you’ll be alright.”

“What else’ve you got?”

“That’s it so far.”

A’whora spears a pasta spiral, tilts her head in thought as she eats it. “Get drunk in a lecture.”

“Aw, good one!” Lawrence cries enthusiastically. Bimini, for their part, frowns with disapproval.

“Wait, no! Not a good one. Not a good one at all. It’s alright for you art school bitches, you’ve got some lectures together and you can coordinate, where does that leave me n’ Tia?”

“I guess that leaves you…downing a bottle of five pound chardonnay on the back bench of a lecture hall like a tramp with a drinking problem,” Lawrence shrugs, A’whora yelping out a laugh as Bimini shoves Lawrence with their foot.

Just then, there’s movement in the hall and as A’whora turns around she’s greeted by the sight of a tired-looking Tayce and Ellie walking into the kitchen. They shrug off their coats and take off their shoes and dump their bags on the kitchen table with a huff before they walk over to the others. Tayce spreads herself out over the sofa that A’whora’s sitting on, thudding her feet onto her lap without asking permission, to which A’whora instantly pushes them off her and gets a glare and a smirk in return.

“Lawrie, are you knitting?” Ellie laughs, sitting on the arm of the sofa beside her.

“Yeah? And?”

Ellie snorts in amusement. “Just didn’t realise we were living with a wee granny.”

“Well actually, bawbag! I was in the middle of making you a scarf because I can’t stand to listen to you talking shite about how you’re cold every time we leave the flat, but I can leave it if you want,” Lawrence explains. A’whora thinks it’s funny how Ellie backtracks immediately; she can’t tell if she’s blushing or just out of breath from scaling their block’s stairs. Bimini gains control of the conversation, tilting their head in intrigue.

“How were your lectures, huns?”

“Shit, thanks for asking,” Tayce groans, thudding her head down dramatically against the sofa cushions. “I don’t know, I just can’t concentrate when I’m getting talked at for an hour at a time. I need to be doing stuff, you know?”

“Feel that,” Ellie joins in, deflated. A’whora can sympathise- she loves the practical elements of her course, but not so much the lectures. She’s glad she shares a lot of them with Ellie, and the two of them can dick about and text each other and doodle designs in their notebooks while keeping one ear on whoever’s speaking.

“Well if you want to be doing something, you can help us with this,” Bimini suggests, explaining the bucket list they’ve been making.

The girls get settled and the ideas start to flow, Lawrence putting her speakers on for background noise as they all come up with new and increasingly more chaotic exploits. Ellie suggests trying every cocktail in Levels which gets scribbled down into Bimini’s notepad, and Tayce suggests going to Levels sober, which doesn’t get afforded the same appreciation. A’whora comes up with crashing the catered halls for breakfast one day, which they all agree is a good idea but the chances of it actually happening are low considering the earliest riser in the flat is Tayce and even she doesn’t waken up til half nine on a weekend.

“What’re some clubs we’ve not been to yet?” Bimini asks, shrugging. “Could put those down, try an’ visit every one in the city?”

Lawrence snorts derisively. “You go to Underground if you want your phone stolen, Velvet if you want to be bullied by fifteen year olds in the toilets, and Crystal if you want to subject yourself to painful misogyny and probably some light sexual assault.”

“So none of those, then,” Bimini murmurs.

“Those are all really het as well, though,” Ellie wrinkles her nose up in distaste. Then her face lights up as she gets an idea. “Oh! Put down Pride in July.”

“Nice one,” Bimini nods as they scribble down Ellie’s suggestion, the others making little hums of approval.

The conversation goes on for quite some time. Halfway through it Tayce seems to decide she’s bored of lying down and instead moves to sit on the floor between A’whora’s legs, asking her to play with her hair. They’ll do this sometimes- it’s a routine they fall into, A’whora being able to style Tayce’s endlessly long, straight hair and Tayce finding the whole thing therapeutic. They have a lot of little routines like this: they’ll sit close together on the sofa during a flat movie night and take turns leaning on each others’ shoulders, spontaneously give each other hugs at random points throughout the day, trace patterns into each others’ palms when the other seems stressed.

It’s nice. A’whora’s never really had a friendship like this, soft and caring and kind. In school her group was the kind that made catty jokes about each other then buffered them with a “love you!” afterwards and took kissy-face group selfies only to bitch about each other on a private group chat mere hours later. If it was a wolfpack then it was rabid and cannibalistic, and it had seemed like a full-time job ensuring she was never the runt of it. What she’s got with all her flatmates now- especially Tayce- makes her feel like she can finally breathe.

“What about the Centurion Challenge?” Lawrence suggests with a small gasp, breaking A’whora’s reverie as she expertly twirls Tayce’s hair into a loose and chunky French plait.

“Jesus Christ, Lawrence,” Ellie mutters in amusement.

“What’s the Centurion Challenge?” Bimini asks, pulling a face.

Lawrence gives a blythe shrug as she elaborates. “A hundred shots in a hundred minutes.”

A’whora ruins Tayce’s braid in shock, her hair untwisting itself from the braid as if it’s outraged too. The cry she gives joins in harmony with that of Tayce’s and Bimini’s. “A hundred shots? You’d fucking die!”

“Not of vodka! Obviously not of vodka! I know we all have one communal brain cell between us but Christ, can one of yous not use it?!” Lawrence protests. “It’s a hundred shots of beer. Don’t shit yourselves.”

“Aw, well that’s alright then,” Bimini pipes up sarcastically. “What’s actually wrong with Scottish people? Is your breastmilk spiked with whiskey? What d’you get instead of Cow and Gate formula, just cocaine?"

“Actually, a hundred shots of beer sounds more doable to me,” Tayce shrugs, and A’whora can feel her relax against her lap.

“I’d need to change it, I can’t stand beer,” A’whora considers. Ellie cocks her head in consideration.

“Well what alcohol do you like?”

“Fucking none of it,” A’whora laughs. “Cocktails. Vodka cokes. Anything where there’s juice to cover it up.”

Tayce twists her head to look up at her, a little twinkle of mischief in her eye. “I think the challenge ceases to be a challenge when it’s reduced to one hundred watered down shots of Woo Woo, Rory.”

As the others blurt out a laugh A’whora glares down at Tayce, but she can’t help but break out into a giggle too when Tayce grabs her knee and gives it a playful wobble, letting her know she was only joking without even having to say a thing.

A’whora’s not sure what time it is when she hears the front door swing shut and Tia emerges from the hallway, her long hair all messed up from the seemingly ever-present wind outside and almost obscuring the bright smile plastered on her face. “Hey, huns!”

“Oi oi,” Tayce greets her from her position on the floor. “What’s got you so smiley?”

“Nooothing,” Tia smirks, dragging the word out playfully. “Just got an invite to the night out of a very cute girl in my MT society…and she said you guys can all come too. Pres at her flat and then out to The Avenue. Evening plans sorted?”

“Oh, love that!” Bimini gives an enthusiastic clap. “Go on then, who’s the girl? Whose night are we crashing?”

“Her name’s Veronica,” Tia smiles bashfully. “She’s so lovely. Honestly, she wouldn’t mind you coming! She’s got one of the big flats over at Gourock Court so it’s not like it’ll be packed.”

“You don’t exactly want to go to a party that’s not going to be packed,” Ellie screws up her nose. She looks unimpressed and her tone is flat. “And even if it is, I don’t know if I’m in the mood for a flat party with a ton of new people, Tia.”

A’whora’s face drops and she locks eyes with Lawrence simultaneously, who’s got an equally incredulous look on her face. “Els, are you unwell? You never turn down a night out.”

Ellie shrugs quietly, not giving much away on her face. Tia, obviously keen to move to the girl she’s crushing on, carries on persuading her. “C’mon, Eleanor, don’t be such a fucking…square! It’s the musical theatre society, we’re just a walking Pride festival who all happen to be able to hold a tune. There’s loads of fit lesbians?”

“Well if I wasn’t convinced before, I sure am now,” Tayce purrs, a little smile appearing on her lips and a cheeky twinkle in her eyes. A’whora feels her laugh come out weakly. She doesn’t know why, but an odd, uncomfortable feeling lodges itself in her gut. She can’t quite put her finger on what exactly it is or why it’s put itself there.

“And there’s gonna be so many musicals on the playlist!” Tia continues to insist, despite being met with Ellie’s sour face. “I know you’ll love it! They’d probably even play stuff from Shrek if you got them drunk enough.”

A’whora can’t help but scrunch up her nose in distaste. “Hey, I’m only coming if they play fucking…normal people music as well. I’m not gonna be sat in a room with twenty white kids trying to rap to Hamilton or whatever the fuck it is.”

Tia rolls her eyes, plants her hands on her hips in exasperation. “Calm down, A’whora, you’ll still get all the top 40 dance-pop shit you love so much.”

“To be honest, it sounds class. And The Avenue’s always good,” Bimini cuts in calmly. A’whora does have to agree with that. They’ve not been there in a while- the bar across the road from the city’s most popular LGBT club- and its selection of early 00s pop princess tracks combined with its deal of two vodka mixers and a shot for a fiver makes it a guaranteed good night out.

“Well it seems like we’re all down, even if this stroppy cow isn’t,” Tia smiles happily, sticking her tongue out at Ellie for good measure. Ellie finally heaves a world-weary sigh, rolling her eyes dramatically as she relents.

“Ugh, fine! Fine, but this Verruca or whatever the hell she’s called better be the hottest bitch on the planet for you to drag us all out with your MT weirdos, Tia Maria,” she grumps. Tia ignores her bad mood and lets out a cheer which the others join in with, and A’whora resolves to interrogate Ellie about her Bitter Betty attitude later on. Preferably when they’re both drunk. That always makes things easier.

In the melee of excitement, Tayce twists round from her position on the carpet, folds her arms and rests them on top of A’whora’s thighs. “Right. You need to come help me choose an outfit if we’re going out. I need to look fit.”

A’whora smiles with pride. “Ooh, personal stylist duties? I’m honoured.”

“Well I’m hardly gonna ask Tia, am I?” Tayce giggles quietly, and A’whora joins in like it’s a little secret they’re sharing. “Or Ellie. She’d just send me out in one of her bodysuit/skirt combos. I swear to God that girl is like Marge bloody Simpson. Open up her wardrobe and she’ll have twenty sets of the same outfit. Serial killer behaviour, that.”

At this point A’whora is laughing so much that it draws the attention of the others, who eye them with suspicious stares. “What the hell’s so funny?”

A’whora gives Tayce a mischievous look. “Tayce just called Ellie a serial killer.”

Tayce yelps in outrage at having been called out, and as Ellie narrows her eyes Tayce leaps up from the floor and tugs A’whora off of the sofa with her. “That’s taking it out of context, you absolute hound! Come on, help me pick something.”

Tayce’s fingers stay curled around A’whora’s hand all the way down the corridor and into her bedroom. It’s a feeling that A’whora likes because it makes her feel close to her friend, and Tayce taking her hand is like an affirmation and a reassurance all in one; that she likes her, that their friendship has reached the level where hand-holding has become acceptable, that A’whora is worthy of being liked, of being someone’s friend- their real, proper friend. The validation sets her heart off like a flare. It’s nice to feel wanted.

A’whora perches on the edge of Tayce’s bed as she scrapes the coat hangers in her wardrobe and throws outfits onto the bed like a tornado, each more gorgeous than the last and all ones Tayce would look stunning in. That’s something that always strikes A’whora about Tayce; just how beautiful she is, how absolutely blessed with the God-given good genes. The way she looks serene and ethereal without makeup, walking to lectures in the morning with the sun hitting her face and giving her skin a glow. The way she paints for a night out and knows how to accentuate everything about her face that’s already perfect, a feat that would seem like an exaggeration if A’whora hadn’t seen it for herself to confirm it’s true. She frequently finds herself having to hold back from giving compliments to Tayce because if she started she’d never stop.

“Okay, first thoughts are…” Tayce announces unnecessarily loudly, and A’whora laughs at the way she’s talking as if she’s a stylist on a morning TV show. “…I’m thinking something black.”

“Of course you are,” A’whora interrupts with a laugh. “Tayce wearing black. How predictable.”

Tayce gives her a shove on the shoulder that’s too hard and makes her fall back against the mattress. “Shut up! I’ll wear something other than black when Lawrence wears something other than purple, how’s about that?”

The pair of them giggle at the joke as Tayce rifles through the clothes she’s shortlisted, holding up a black leather jacket and a black bralet with an intricate lace hem. The combination makes A’whora’s eyes fly wide open in appreciation.

“This?” Tayce raises an eyebrow at her inquisitively. The fact she’s obviously seen her reaction makes A’whora feel a little self-conscious and she doesn’t particularly know why. “Because I’m wanting to wear either my wet-look leggings or my black vinyl skirt with the zip up the front, and I don’t know if that’s too much leather effect stuff?”

“It’s too much,” A’whora nods, physically unable to help her honesty. “Also I think you should wear the skirt because you’ve got good legs and you should get them out any chance you get. But also the bralet won’t go with it because it’ll make your proportions all wrong.”

Tayce smiles appreciatively as she throws the bralet back into her wardrobe as if A’whora’s given her a command and not a suggestion. “See, this is another reason why you’re the queen of outfit advice. Bimini wouldn’t give me this level of honesty, they’re too nice.”

A’whora feels a warmth spread in her chest at the compliment, but she doesn’t show it. Instead she snorts, nods in agreement. “Yeah, because you could come out dressed in a pair of child’s pyjamas and they’d still say they love it. They’d say it’s very Y2K or something.”

Tayce lets out a cackle before holding up the skirt and leather jacket, humming in thought. “Okay, so you’re saying ditch the jacket but keep the skirt.”

“Yes.”

“And ditch the bralet.”

“Yes.”

“So you want me to go out in a skirt and a pair of heels and nothing else,” Tayce raises an eyebrow at her, and as A’whora bursts out laughing and protests she has to fight off a blush at the thought of her best friend topless in heels. Topless in heels and a vinyl skirt. Topless in heels and a vinyl skirt with a zip that could just be pulled down to leave her in-

The heat floods A’whora’s face like she’s been smacked and she shifts on the bed in an attempt at dissipating the feelings that’ve hit her like a tsunami. Inappropriate. Weird. Way too weird. Don’t do that again.

“What about the bright blue fur coat you’ve got? Because you could have an all black outfit with that as a bit of colour,” she suggests, shrugging lightly in an attempt to pretend that she hadn’t just been thinking about Tayce in the way she had.

Tayce’s face lights up and she points at A’whora with one hand and reaches into her wardrobe with the other. “Love that. Okay, top?”

“Are you addressing me? I’ve never topped for anyone,” A’whora attempts a joke. If Tayce can make jokes like that to her then she can do it right back.  

“That’s very clear, baby,” Tayce shoots in response without missing a beat. Before A’whora realises it, she’s flexing her toes. What the fuck is happening to her? She needs to steer this conversation back on track.

She thinks for a second. “You’re a size eight, right?”

“In theory. The amount of pot noodles I’ve been chucking down my neck since I moved in is very quickly rendering that a distant memory, I’ll tell ya,” Tayce says, as she leans against the door of her wardrobe and folds her arms.

“I’ve got a black lace bodysuit that would go with that. It’s a ten so it’ll fit. D’you want to try it?”

“Well despite the fact a skirt and a bodysuit was the very thing I just roasted Ellie for always wearing…that sounds lush. Thanks, Rory Roo,” Tayce agrees, the nickname-of-a-nickname setting off the click of a small pilot light in A’whora’s heart. She’s about to ask if she wants to come try it on just now when she hears both their names being yelled from the kitchen.

The pair of them head back through to find that Tia has changed the playlist on the speakers from the chilled-out, calm acoustic one that had been playing to her early 00’s tunes. Combined with Bimini half-singing, half-yelling along to Murder on the Dancefloor and the blast of the extractor fan as Ellie stirs something in a big metal pot at the hob, it’s a far cry from the calm, cosy scene that A’whora had witnessed in the kitchen some hours prior.

Ellie had been the one who had shouted on them, and she whips around from the cooker when she realises that Tayce and A’whora have come through. “I’m making dinner for me, Bims and Tia, you wanting some?”

“Depends what it is. Come on, talk it up, Ellie. Give us some options,” Tayce shrugs with feigned disinterest, and A’whora can’t help the bubble of laughter that bursts from her mouth as Ellie narrows her eyes at her.

“It’s spaghetti and meatballs, and your alternatives are fuck off or die,” she shoots back savagely, and the whoop of shock and laughter that goes up from the others soars above the music and the fan. Tayce laughs good-naturedly in spite of the barb.

“I’m joking, ‘course I’ll take some.”

A’whora wrinkles her nose. “You’re making meatballs for a meal that Bimini is gonna eat?”

“They’re not real ones, dipshit,” Bimini pipes up from over on the sofa. “It’s that Birdseye Green Cuisine shit, innit.”

“Birdseye Green Cuisine shit,” A’whora repeats disdainfully. “If you ever go on The Apprentice, Bim, Alan Sugar’s gonna shit himself at your selling abilities.”

Tayce snorts, tries and fails to cover it up. When her eyes rest on A’whora they share a little smile, and A’whora’s grows bigger when she thinks about the way they’re both so in sync all the time.

“They’re nice, I promise! Veronica’s talked them up loads, she told me she’s been trying to eat more veggie things,” Tia insists, with an entirely unnecessary namedrop of her crush. A’whora relents and says she’ll have a small bowl before jumping out of her skin as Ellie bangs the spoon against the pot somewhat aggressively with a face like thunder.

Before A’whora can ask Ellie about her bad mood, Tia speaks again as she scrolls her phone to change the song. “Honestly, Ellie, you’re a star for doing dinner. Thanks so much.”

“Aw, don’t be silly, doll! It’s nothing!” Ellie turns around from the hob and bats the compliment away, shooting Tia a dazzling smile in return. It’s funny the way her demeanour seems to instantly do a complete 180 at the praise, and it makes A’whora wonder what’s changed.

She’s distracted, though, by the way Lawrence enters in her dressing gown with her hair up in a towel, obviously having come straight from the shower. She pouts and whines in a very un-Lawrence way as she lingers at the doorframe between the hall and the kitchen.

“Guysss, does anyone have an ID they can give me for tonight?”

“What about your friend? Who was it…Rosé?” A’whora shrugs, and Lawrence fixes her with a wide-eyed stare of incredulity.

“Oh my God, A’whora! I never thought about asking the girl I’ve been borrowing ID from since the start of uni! Thanks for that!” she says sarcastically, Bimini giving a yelp of laughter and A’whora leaning off the countertops and swiping at Lawrence in retort. “She’s using it. She asked her girlfriend and her flatmates for me but they’ve all got plans. I felt like a fuckin’ daytime TV charity advert.”

“For just one pound a week, you could help an underaged child get blackout drunk on triple trebles,” A’whora puts on a dramatic, concerned voice, proud of the way it makes Tayce blurt out a laugh.

“It’s such fucking bullshit,” Lawrence huffs, leaning against the fridge and folding her arms. “I mean my eighteenth’s in five days and I’ve been drinking in parks since I was fourteen, how can I not just be let into a fuckin’ bar?”

“Grow up and order a fake one,” Ellie shakes her head with incredulity, smashing the wooden spoon against the pot again with a bang-bang-bang to get the excess pasta sauce off.

“Just you pipe down, hen, you shouldn’t even be at uni. In fact, have you even completed primary yet?”

The two girls stick their tongues out at each other, a mirror-image of petty bickering that makes A’whora laugh. Luckily Bimini steps in, shrugging as they open their purse.

“Here, babe. I’ve still got my course friend’s provisional from when she dropped it on Gordon Street when she was off her face. I ain’t given her it back yet an’ I’m sure she wouldn’t care if you borrowed it. She’s chill.”

Lawrence accepts enthusiastically, bouncing over to Bimini and thanking them gratefully. A’whora watches her face drop, though, when she takes a look at the photo.

“There’s no way this’ll work.”

Bimini tuts and shakes their head, the picture of casual composure. “It’s fine, babes, they never look properly anyway.”

Lawrence drops the hand that’s holding the license to her side and fixes her friend with an astounded glare. “Bimini. This girl is black.”

As the others screech with outrage and mirth, Bimini waves Lawrence’s concerns away blithely. “It’ll be dark! It’s fine! Asttina an’ you have both got similar…well…you’re both girls, an’ you’re about the same height. Give or take a few inches.”    

“Christ. I’m going to have to just forward roll past the bouncers, aren’t I? Then draw a fuckin’ club stamp on my arm in Sharpie.”

“Oh my God, stop moaning!” Ellie sighs from her position at the hob, bangs the spoon again for emphasis. “Look, I’ll ask Pippa from flat 2, alright? You both have brown hair, so…that’ll probably be enough.”

A’whora thinks it’s interesting the way Lawrence doesn’t shoot something back in her foghorn of a voice like she normally does. Instead she smiles warmly, dashes over to the kitchen where she hugs Ellie from behind, squeezing her tightly at the stomach and making her flinch in surprise.

“Thanks, Ellie-Bellie,” she sing-songs, swaying her aggressively from side to side until Ellie bats her away, flicking the spoon in a way that threatens to shower them both in marinara sauce.

“Right, that’s plenty. Don’t even do things I enjoy for that long.”

“When’s this gonna be ready, Els?” Bimini shouts through as Lawrence lets go. “ ‘Ave I got time to do my makeup before it?”

Ellie shrugs. “If you can do your makeup in ten minutes.”

A’whora kicks her leg out in Tayce’s direction and jerks her head towards the hall. “Do you want to try on that bodysuit before tea?”

Tayce nods enthusiastically in agreement, so they go back along the corridor with a shout to the others telling them they won’t be long. A’whora holds the door of her room open for Tayce and her heart sinks in embarrassment when she realises she forgot to make her bed this morning.

“Sorry about the mess,” she apologies, to which Tayce gives a cry of a laugh in response.

“A’whora, have you seen my room? You’re fine, kid, don’t worry.”

A’whora thinks that’s true- Tayce’s room is a state, but somehow it seems to suit her. Tayce’s room with the crowded bulletin board, desk covered in sweet wrappers and sketches, floor carpeted with clothes that need washed and outfits that didn’t make the cut. The cracked picture frame on her window-sill of the first selfie the six of them all got together on the first night of freshers and the huge cheese plant that sits next to her bedside table, Tayce’s pride and joy. They’re all little intricate shards that join up to form a perfect picture of her personality, and A’whora thinks it’s sort of perfect.

She looks out the bodysuit from its neatly Marie Kondo-d place in her wardrobe and hands it gently to Tayce. “Try it and see. It’s a small 10 anyway so it’ll probably be fine for you.”

Tayce accepts it gratefully and hooks a finger around both of the straps, letting the rest of the material fall out of its perfectly folded little parcel. She gives a little gasp of appreciation as she looks at it. “Oh yes, baby. I think this’ll do just fine.”

A’whora feels good- proud that she’s managed to find the perfect piece for Tayce’s outfit, to help her look as inevitably gorgeous as she knows she will. The smile on her face falters, though, when Tayce shoots her a wink and leans against the wall with her shoulder. “This is gonna get me someone I can pop off my acrylics for, I can tell. You’ve got the best taste, girl.”

“Are you actually going to try and get with someone tonight?” A’whora injects a laugh into her question that she’s banking on sounding genuine, otherwise it comes across as accusatory and that’s not what she means it to be. Or is it? She doesn’t know. “You know how messy nights at The Avenue always get. Last time we were there Lawrence got so drunk she told us she couldn’t see, remember?”

Tayce laughs her off with a shrug. “Well then I’ll just have to be careful with my drinks, won’t I?”

A’whora gives a false laugh, tries so hard to get it to meet her eyes. Why is she so pressed about this? She gets with girls on nights out too, she’s brought the occasional one night stand to the flat. Tayce is allowed to do the same.

So why does she feel ever so slightly gutted?

If her smile looks fake (which it is) then Tayce doesn’t notice, and she only shoots her a smile as she opens the bedroom door. “You’re an angel. I’ll pop this on then be back in five.”

A’whora takes the opportunity of Tayce having left to make her bed, and as she does so she feels lots of little thoughts dart around her mind like minnows, none of them staying in the same place for long enough to be able to be deciphered. She manages to catch a few before they flee away and she clings to them, turning them over in her head: why does she feel so bothered about the prospect of Tayce finding a girl at the party, talking to her and making a connection and laughing at her jokes? Why had it felt like a punch to the gut when Tayce was joking about doing so? Why does she have this part of her that feels like an idiot for setting Tayce up to look her best and knowing that it’s for the benefit of somebody else, somebody that doesn’t know her like she does?

And then her bedroom door opens and A’whora turns around and lays eyes on her best friend. Tayce in her high heels and bare legs and the skirt with the zip. Tayce with her baby blue fake fur coat and her straight, dark hair tumbling over its shoulders. Tayce in the bodysuit- A’whora’s bodysuit- with the lace and the mesh that clings to her chest like it was designed just for her. There’s something about the fact that she’s wearing something that belongs to A’whora that makes something inside her chest tingle, the fact it’s a little piece of her in Tayce’s jigsaw puzzle that seems to fit regardless of the difference.

“What d’you think?” Tayce smiles, all too aware of how drop-dead stunning she looks.

And then the realisation hits A’whora like a train.

Oh.

Fuck.

She’s screwed.

[ghoestys]

and this is ruby! my 4th and final muse! been wanting to use gayoung’s pretty face since she was in tempted and now that shes in true beauty it made me want to use her even more! and the content she gave us while playing yeo hajin? iconic this is ruby <3

STATISTICS

full name: ruby odette im nickname(s): rue, rubes, ro, odette, od, odettie age: twenty two date of birth: october 8th, 1998 hometown: tba! gender: cis female pronouns: she/her/hers religion: christian (raised, non-practicing) sexuality: bisexual & biromantic hair colour: brunette eye colour: brown height: 5'9″ tattoos: dainty colored lavender on her left ankle facing outward (ex) piercings: standard & upper lobe (both), forward helix & industrial (right), daith (left)

PROMPT + BLACKMAIL

a legacy and member of the yale's elite, they're twenty-two and a sophomore undergrad student majoring in law. they are as positive as they are negative.

● was caught with a dui and almost got her license revoked because of it, but she flirted her way out of the ticket and convinced the police officer to kill the report by giving him tickets to a movie premiere where she held a small role.  background: this happened in new york after she was attempting to drive home from a party with her 3 model friends who were also all drunk. she was 20 at the time and should’ve also gotten in-trouble for underaged drinking along with driving under the influence, but she truly utilized her fame status and looks. luckily no one got hurt and the road was pretty empty so there wasn’t many cars, but it was still dangerous and irresponsible because if she wasn’t pulled over, then she would’ve hit busier traffic and something definitely would’ve happened. after being pulled over and saving her ass, ruby stopped driving and ordered a lyft to pick up her and her friends to drop them back to her apartment in new york. 

● was convinced her father was having an affair with a news anchor, so ruby convinced producers, news channels, and everyone in the business to blacklist them from ever working and essentially ruining and ending the new anchor’s career. unknown to ruby, though, is that the news anchor was never having an affair with her father and it was actually colette who was having an affair with her father at the time.  background: her relationship with her dad has always been rocky, but the minute she found out he was having an affair and cheating on her mom made ruby go batshit. she wasn’t sure who the person was exactly except for that her father was having an affair because she was overhearing flirty & secretive phone calls and was seeing bills for expensive gifts that her mother was never receiving. when ruby saw her dad meeting with a news anchor frequently, ruby automatically assumed that was the person her father was having an affair with and essentially ruined that new anchor’s career. the new anchor’s career ended very abruptly and ruby loved seeing it. she loved her mom and she wasn’t going to let anyone hurt her- not her father and not the news anchor. unknown to ruby, though, is that the news anchor was never having an affair with her father and it truly was just business. ruby framed the wrong person and ruined an innocent person’s career for no reason. 

ABOUT

family/upbringing/childhood

ruby’s family consisted of her father (randolph im), her mother (marissa im, nee byun), and her three younger siblings (edeline, brietta, and dominick)

her father, randolph im, is a top politician and was formerly a senator before being removed from officer and losing to his component- senator ahn. instead of being a senator, he’s apart of the house of representatives. other than being a politician, randolph also runs a loan business that’s not  known unless you’re also apart of the top 1-10%. since they have so much money, he doesn’t mind giving out loans to those in need, but he always expects something in return (like a vote or an endorsement) and he always expects being paid back in time with interest included. if he doesn’t get his money paid back in time, then he’s a loan shark who sends his henchmen to do all the dirty work for him.

her mother, marissa im, is a house wife who happily takes care of her kids. 

the family is as tight knit as it can be. it’s not hard for them to act loving and family-like infront of the media because that’s how they are everyday. they have their tense moments like every other family does, but they’re healthy for the most part. 

healthy until it involves ruby and her father. these two are constantly butting heads and always arguing over something. maybe it’s because she’s the eldest daughter or maybe it’s because she doesn’t support her father’s shady loan business. she just doesn’t like him and the only time you’ll catching her supporting her father’s political career is when it’s family involved and her presence is required. other than that, ruby is typically absent from whatever political campaign her father does. 

ever since ruby was a toddler, she loved the spotlight and performing. she loved acting and she loved when the cameras were on her whether it be for performing something or posing for something. since her mother noticed this, she was quick to put ruby in auditions for acting and modeling and since ruby was a natural, her acting and modeling career began at a very young age. she acted in children’s shows, movies as the younger version of a character and modeled for campaigns and spreads for brands like guess kids. 

due to her career being a success at such a young age, ruby never experienced “real school” and was homeschooled her entire life. when she was on set for tv shows where she had to act in a school setting was basically her only experience as a student in a “real school”. 

although her siblings would grow up differently (attending private schools instead of homeschool), ruby never minded this and never felt like she missed out on anything because she still learned how to socialize and got to act out wtvr she was possibly missing out on

career/college/the elites

luckily, as ruby got older and went from being a child to a pre/teen, her career didn’t stop and just kept growing. she filmed some tv shows and mostly focused on movies. when she turned 16/17, that was when her modeling career began to become more prominent because she was “old enough”, looked old enough, and was taller. she was having fun, living life, and traveling the world. 

since she was a politician’s daughter, she was getting tutored on information about law and politics by the time she was 13. she had interest in law especially so she could spite her dad by telling him what he was possibly doing wrong, but also so she could negotiate her own contracts and understand what’s being said during the meetings. as a minor, she can’t sign contracts without a guardian but she sat there at the meetings feeling lost and wanted to know what they were saying. 

although she loved spotlight when she was younger, by the time she was twenty she was starting to get over the fame. her career was successful, but she was starting to see and feel all the negatives that came with fame (especially in the modeling world where they criticized her looks often) and simply wanted out

when she turned 21, as a gift to herself she decided to take a break from her career/the spotlight so she could attend school and actually get a degree in law so she truly could negotiate her own contracts and understand all the legal terms being used during those meetings. she applied to yale and luckily she got accepted (mostly due to her career and philanthropy and because of yale being her father’s alma mater). 

her father was a member of the yale elites, which makes ruby a legacy so that made her entrance into the organization very easy. 

she still does modeling when she has the time, but her acting career is on hiatus until she finishes her bs in law. 

don’t really know where to put this, but her stage name is odette im (her middle name) and only those that actually know her like friends & family call her ruby. she prefers to be called ruby because it’s her actual name, but professionally and in the tabloids she’s known as odette. she will still respond if you call her odette in a non-professional setting and honestly if ur muse met her while she was working then they probs know her as odette 

personality

out of all my muses, i think ruby is the most genuinely nice one with no ugly intentions. silvia used to be like this, but silvia was also just willing to do shady things versus ruby who only does shady thing when shes truly hurt or angry or doing it for someone she loves (like ruining a person’s career to avenger her mom) 

like taking care of people because shes an eldest daughter but also loves being taken cared of much more. whenever she’s being babied or treated as the youngest she’s happy because she’s used to have to take care of other people instead of herself

is honestly tired of the constant spotlight because she experienced it for so long, so think she’s more lowkey now except for those moments when shes modeling and partying at extravagant places and cities 

believes honesty is key and the biggest way to lose her as a friends is to lie to her. she grew up away from the political setting, but it was still something she was apart of nonetheless and she knows how shady that area can b. knowing this, she tries to b as honest as possible and likes to hold people at a very honest level too like pls just be real with her and she’ll be real with u

doesnt mind talking about herself because thats what shes used to (her having to do interviews n shit all  the time makes it easy for her to talk about herself) 

basically an open book and even tho shes an award winning actress, shes terrible at hiding her real emotions infront of people who know her on a non-superficial level 

can be very superficial with others due to her job and having to present herself a the best possible version of herself, but shes usually genuine for the most part like. if ur her friend then ur her friend she wont treat u like a professional associate or wtvr like??? does that even make sense

probs actually enjoys philanthropy work so shes involved n shit 

can cook because she was the eldest daughter and also because she had to take care of herself while being in different cities by herself bc she couldnt eat out everyday 

cant bake for shit tho like.. that shit is just not her thing. cant even make box brownies

fiercely loyal to those she loves and will legit do anything to protect them. also loves spoiling her friends bc like. if she has the money for it y not 

WANTED CONNECTIONS IDEAS

someone that her father loaned money to! ruby is aware of her father’s business and is also aware of the clients because her dad doesn’t keep it a secret within the family. maybe your muse borrowed money and still hasn’t paid her father back for the loan so now the father found out information about ur muse and is holding it against them. ruby could be aware of this and attempt to help you-- if the muses get along tho :) 

someone she met thru work! whether it be thru acting or modeling but i think that’d be so fun!! could be a good experience where they became friends or maybe they’re rivals in their careers that the media loves to put against each other. maybe they were even costars who didn’t get along, but the media loves making them out to be bffs! 

bffs! friends! close friends! 

enemies! betrayals! negatives!

cousins! because why not! 

romance! ex flings! flirtationships! someone who leads her on! 

ruby isn’t the type to do fwb or non-attachment style relationships because she gets attached to people very easily. with her job shes constantly surrounded by people and while she loves traveling, it can get very lonely. if she fell in love with u then she fell in love with u genuinely and whole heartedly. i think of all my muses, she falls in love the easiest

[blacknovelist]

Hi 👋 I love the ageswap AU it’s cute! So what’s the relationship between Mentor Shigaraki & Student All For One is like compare to canon? Sorry if this has been ask before but I’m curious to see your opinion? (Thank You For Reading.)🙏

Hi!! I’m so glad you’re enjoying Ageswap – content for the AU’s pretty inconsistent in coming around (the au itself is pretty inconsistent sometimes but shhhhh we’re just here to have a good time) but it always makes us happy, haha. This isn’t a question that’s come up, actually, tho I’m really glad u asked?? Because I only got caught back up to the manga recent-ish, so me n @guardianlioness got to hammer out a whole bunch of details on that end out while we were conferrin’ about this

hang on to ur seats folks bc im here to finish my school work and talk a lot

and i’ve just finished my school work

(also, as an aside: me and lioness always want to talk about ageswap. I don’t think i’ve deleted a single ageswap ask, they’re still here, waiting for me. they’ll happen eventually, probably, I guess, one way or another, and thank u to everyone for bein’ patient

Also also, spoilers abound bc of some names I’m dropping! If you haven’t made it through that one League of Villains arc with the Liberation Army and don’t want spoilers, this isn’t the post for you.

So in the much broader sense, we’ve at least discussed the history of One for All and All for One to some degree over here, but we’re gonna expand, add, and shift stuff around a smidge probably, in actual AU context. The important tl;dr is basically that the League is just a group that opposes the users of One for All after a vendetta when One for All first manifested, and All for One (who henceforth will be referred to as AfO, probably, because although Shigaraki’s his name it’d be confusing, I think, to just leap wholesale into that) was the child of Izuku’s as-of-yet unspoken of OfA mentor, who was assumed dead along with the rest of the mentor’s family but was instead taken in by Tomura (as we’ll be calling Mr. Shimura Tenko from here on out, to try and reduce confusion still and also bc in the beginning he didn’t have the name Shigaraki ) when Tomura lead the league to wreck OfA mentor’s shit bc he’s petty like that.

Now I don’t necessarily need to get into the big details – for the sake of brevity, I’ll make a separate post on AfO, his goals, the brother whomst he loves a lot that we’re giving him for canon parallels in spite of how much we’ve already bungled stuff up, and AfO’s relationship with Toshinori now that that’s all been hashed out – but I do want to point out that, for a time AfO was unaware that Tomura was the one who destroyed his home, only that Tomura was there and saved him and his little brother. OfA mentor hid/went underground/stopped using their family name of Shigaraki after the rest of the family died in grief, so Tomura used that to persuade AfO to not run back to his parent until AfO was swayed to his side, so to speak.

For the most part, Tomura and AfO’s relationship in Ageswap is something of a twist again on canon. See, and this is fun because we love drawing those lines between characters, Tomura (in both Ageswap and canon) is a fascinating emotional sort, both in relation to his mentor/student AfO, but ALSO to Izuku, who does studies on quirks and mumbles a lot and has incredible observational skills, whereas Toshinori is a beast of instinct and feeling, which again foils him to the far more calculating AfO and his logical student! That is to say, the parallels are criss-crossing: Toshinori could be attributed towards Tomura, where AfO could be towards Izuku. Now, obviously, it’s not a 1:1 ratio because nothing is, but it means that when we flip the dynamic we get something just as dysfunctional and unhealthy as in canon, but in a totally different way!

Tomura’s something of the Worst Mentor Slash Elder Sib Figure Ever in this world. He’s a hot mess to AfO’s young meticulousness, and through him AfO kind of. learns to live a little, so to speak. Or at least, relax and also take what he deserves w his quirk bc hey, he has the power, why not?

The general attitude we’re giving Tomura in this AU is kind of…. unnervingly touchy-feely or close physically, esp given what his quirk is. AfO isn’t quite so scared of it, because it’s Tomura, who’s a beloved teacher and friend, but it’s something of a (possibly unintentional, haven’t decided) way for Tomura to keep the League metaphorically close. Because he acts so relaxed and familial, it draws the League together and makes them less inclined to leave, later. And even if they wanted to, well… Tomura’s right there, and we all know what his quirk is. The relationships he’s fostering are just as unhealthy as in canon, just differently.

I think the dynamic might be that Tomura’s encouraging AfO to go apeshit, basically. Kind of like “you have this quirk you barely use/barely know about, and you can do all these things, so why don’t you?” ish, pushing him to overhaul a world/society that condemns his quirkless brother and keep his own power so tightly wrapped he suffers, you know? There’s a weird extra-close obviously openly familial aspect to the League, which is meant to parallel how awkward Izuku is with Toshinori and how they maintain a distance even though they also care and love each other a lot, and it has everything to do with the way Tomura acts and holds himself. Also, the League all refers to him as Tomura in private, to kind of…. sit on those close pseudofam vibes.

As for what AfO thinks of his mentor… well, AfO is the one who offered his family name “Shigaraki” for Tomura to use, a name that even Izuku hadn’t known because his own mentor never told him in their attempt to separate from their grief. So, you tell me what his thoughts might be.

[toomanysurveys9]

Does anyone know your bank pin number other than you? Who?

Probably not.

Have you ever had a boyfriend/girlfriend who was depressed?

That’s usually my job. -insert eye roll-

Would you be able to climb out your bedroom window to sneak out?

I wouldn’t need to since I’m an adult, but probably not. I would need a ladder anyways to do it.

What would you do if you found out the last person you called was pregnant/got someone pregnant?

I don’t know who I last called even was.

Can you taste the difference between brand name food and store brand food?

Some things, yes.

Would you be embarrassed to buy pads/tampons/condoms? Which one more?

I used to be embarrassed to buy all of them. Now I just turn a little red when I am buying condoms.

If a stranger went in your bedroom, would they be able to tell what gender you are from just looking at it?

I doubt it. Since there are 4 people basically living in it.

Are your parents gullible?

My mom might be to some degree. She tends to read things on facebook and believe it too easily.

Do you still own a VCR?

My mom would like to buy one since we have a million VHS tapes, but no.

About how much money have you spent on food in the past two weeks?

Uh, like $55 or something.

If you were in a car accident would the last person you kissed care?

I would hope so since we’re married.

If you were looking for a new pair of shoes where would you go?

Probably Walmart. They’re cheap.

How much was the last pair of shoes you bought?

It was Converse, so more than I usually spend on myself.

What color is the computer/laptop you’re on? Did you buy it yourself?

Black, and no. My parents bought it for me right before I graduated college because the one I bought myself right after I graduated high school wasn’t holding up anymore.

Do you have a second home?

I do not.

Would you be surprised if you saw the last person you texted smoking?

Kind of, yeah.

Does the smell of cigarettes, weed and beer repulse you?

I don’t really enjoy the smell of any of those things, but especially cigarettes.

Was the last person you kissed younger or older than you?

He is younger by a whole 22 days.

Do you think people have any misconceptions about you?

Oh, I am sure they do.

Have you ever purchased Girl Scout cookies?

I have, but not usually for me. I don’t really care for them.

Do you like waffles?

Sure. I don’t eat them often though. 

Do you watch birthing videos on a day-to-day basis?

No. I used to watch birth vlogs on youtube when I was pregnant with Wyatt, but those don’t show everything. Just labor and then baby after, usually when they’ve been cleaned up a bit.

Do you find piercings/tattoos attractive?

Depends on the person, but sure.

Would you talk to someone you don’t know on the internet?

I have several times. 

How often do you drink Monster?

Pretty much never these days.

Have you ever made totally pointless videos with your friends?

When I was younger, I did that a lot.

Do you like to buy those Warped Tour compilations?

No idea what those are.

Do you like sitting on the inside or outside of a restaurant booth?

I prefer the inside. But I’m almost always put on the outside so I can feed my babies, or assist them in feeding themselves. Because Jacob evidently can’t.

Do you own a nightgown?

I do not.

Have you ever made a house out of a giant cardboard box?

Kind of, yes.

Have you ever made a tent out of sheets in your bedroom?

Ohh yes. Many times.

Do your grandparents know how to operate a cell phone?

My grandpa on my dad’s side does not. My grandma on my dad’s side can barely. It’s interesting to see her comments on Facebook. My grandpa on my mom’s side can’t really. My biologically grandma on my mom’s side passed away, but she could handle a basic phone well. I’m sure she’d love the phones now. My grandpa’s girlfriend, who’s like a grandma, does really well with her phone.

Have you ever had sex or something like it?

I have two kids. What do you think?

Have you ever read a George Orwell book?

I don’t think so.

Have you ever worn fishnets?

Yeah. For Halloween.

How many piercings and tattoos do you have?

I don’t know what piercings are still open. I have 3 tattoos. I want more tattoos.

Is someone in your family affected by Asperger’s?

One of Jacob’s cousins.

In a hotel do you always nose through all the drawers and cupboards?

Not anymore.

Would you rather go out to eat or be eaten out?

Go out to eat. I’ve missed going out to eat, and I’m too tired to deal with having sex.

Do you always wear your seat belt?

Probably about 98% of the time.

Have you ever liked someone much older than you?

Celebrities.

Have you ever been in a play?

I was in a musical in middle school.

Do you have any secrets that nobody knows about?

Probably.

Is there ice cream in your freezer?

There is, actually.

Have you ever started to laugh but played it off as a cough successfully?

I’m sure I have.

Have you ever liked the lyrics of a band but hated the music?

Yup.

Does your bathroom have a window?

Unfortunately. I hate it.

Do you go somewhere to get your eyebrows done?

I do not.

When you were younger did you read the A Series Of Unfortunate Events books?

Some of them. I never finished the series though.

Who was the last band you saw live?

Does Ed Sheeran count?

Do you believe prayer really works?

I do not. 

Are you a fan of the band Gym Class Heroes?

I liked a couple songs.

Frosted flakes or frosted mini wheats?

Lately, Frosted Flakes. 

Have you been on a date in the park?

I guess so, sure.

Ever dated someone you were best friends with first?

Not best friends. But we were friends.

Are there any diseases/health problems that run in your family?

Yup.

Do you have asthma?

I do.

Are tongue piercings slutty?

Of course not. 

Is there anybody you think is hot over the age of 40?

Jensen Ackles. Misha Collins.

Last person to take off your pants, besides you?

Probably Jacob.

Do you remember those cool highlighters that smelled like popcorn?

I do not.

Might you enjoy hanging out in the woods for day or two?

Eh. Maybe if we’re camping.

Have you ever written something on a bathroom stall?

I have not.

Least favorite alcoholic drink?

Jager.

Have you ever kissed someone named Paul or Luke?

I have not.

How did you meet the last male you texted?

Middle school. He used to sit on my lap and eat my lunches.

Have you ever had an embarrassing email address?

I guess so.

Do you put shampoo in your left or right hand?

Left.

Do you have a bull ring through your nose?

I do not.

Do you and your dad get along?

We do. Might not be as close as I am to my mom, but we get along well. I’m a lot like him in a lot of ways.

Can you see your purse right now?

I don’t carry a purse. 

Are you wearing any perfume? What kind?

I am not.

Are there products in your hair?

Nope. Unless you count the remnants of the Splat hair dye.

When you get colds, do you use nasal spray to help get your nose unstuffy?

Not usually.

Do you actually like sneezing?

I hate it.

Have you taken a shower yet today?

No. I did Sunday. And I will probably take another in the morning before work.

Do you have one best friend who is always there for you?

I guess.

Do you wear skirts a lot?

I do not.

Do you wear sweatpants a lot?

Not really. I wear leggings pretty often.

How many pairs of jeans do you think you have?

Maybe four.

Do you like hoodies?

Looove them.

Big ones or the form fitting kind?

Big ones. The bigger and comfier, the better.

Do you wear polo shirts a lot?

I do not. Ever.

Did you ever actually have a rubber duck?

I think so.

Are you one of those people who claim to live with no regrets?

No. I definitely have regrets.

Do you love your computer?

I like it. It works for my purposes.

Do you drink coffee?

Every now and then.

Do you basically like all of your clothes?

I mean. For the most part, sure.

Do you shop mostly with your parents, your friends, or by yourself?

By myself or with my mom.

[botanyshitposts]

Please tell us more stories about the corn!!

brief preface: i live in iowa, one of the united states’ largest producers of corn (as in maize for those overseas), and worked at a corn breeding research facility. these guys are in charge of creating new lines of seed for farmers to grow; i took the job because it was the only plant science-related job i could, and it sucked but it wasn’t the worst job ive ever had and i made bank because it sucked and no one wanted to do it. there were two parts to this job: data collection and pollination. i wrote out a huge thing on the details of these and then decided it was too long and rambly so imma just gonna skip that stuff and get to the Weird Liminal Space Corn Stories:

-for data collection, our job was to take plant an ear hights in fields all around iowa, meaning that we would get to work in the morning and they would load us up into transit vans and drive us out to a random small town with a test field for testing. once we got there, we had 16-foot-tall wooden measuring sticks we would unfold and bring into the field with us, and the instructions from there were simple: 2 people on each side of the breeder. you measure the line of corn behind you by sticking ur stick next to an average looking plant and reading off first how far up on the plant the first ear of corn was, then reading off how far the base of the flag leaf was. then, you turn around to face the line of corn behind you, and while youre turning around and sticking your measuring stick into the ground on that side your partner reads there numbers, you read your second line of numbers, your partner reads their second line, and then you walk into the nearest alley and march up two lines of corn while the people on the other side of the breeder go. you read the two data points on one side. your partner reads and u turn around. you read the data points behind you. your partner does. while you are going, your breeder is walking up the field typing in the numbers on a data logger and the other team is walking up two rows. once you reach the end of the field, your breeder stops you, you walk two plots down and turn the other direction. you read off your data points, ect, you do that all the way down the field. you do this for hours until your set is done. all told, once your team of 5 people gets oriented and going, it should sound like this to you:

stick. 65, 102. turn. stick. 68, 104. pick up stick. walk down two rows. stick. 85, 102. turn. stick. 84, 103. pick up stick. walk down two rows. ect. you have to annunciate yourself and not talk to your teamates so the breeder can hear you through the corn. on windy days, you have to shout. you dont have time to stop and talk; you actually barely have time to do anything but focus on the manual task of number, turn, number, walk, number, turn, number, walk. when we were done, we would come out covered in sweat and dirt with our sticks, pile in the transit van, and drive like, the 2-3 hours back. work days were about 9 hours with 5 in the field, meaning that you worked 40 hours a week and could do overtime on weekends doing pollination (which was actually really fun). 

-no headphones. at first i thought that rule was stupid, but like, once you enter a cornfield you realize that this is because 1. if someone is screaming your name you need to be able to hear and 2. corn touches everything; when you’re in the corn, there is always something touching you. we wore special hats with veils, long pants, long shirts, eye protection, and closed toed shoes because the corn leaves are sharp and will cut you up; i have scars from this. your headphones would get ripped out within like, .3 seconds, because like corn just snags and slices up everything. 

-one time, on the hottest day of the summer, we were doing the number-turn-number-walk routine and heard someone yelling for our breeder guy. he stopped us short and called back, and like, this is the scary part about cornfields: like i said in the tags of that one post, corn swallows up sound more than anything. it’s impossible to tell where you are and impossible to hear anything, even if you scream, so its best to stay close to your team unless your doing solo work, and if you’re doing solo work like, for the love of god, keep walking in the direction youre supposed to be walking until you’re finished. trust that theres something on the other side, even if you cant see it. but anyway; hes yelling, and shes yelling, and suddenly she bursts through the corn after searching for us and says that this one kid is having a seizure. queue both of them running out of the corn and we’re just standing there. eventually we hear one of the other breeders yelling “___’s group, where are you?!” and we’re like “over here! we’re over here!” and put our sticks up, and the other breeder comes into the alley and we keep doing data points. we had like, 6 kids go home that day because of how hot it was (over 100 degrees) and we ended up not finishing the field because they decided it wasnt safe for us to work anymore. (also, kid was predisposed to seizures and they took him home, he was fine and came back to work a couple days later)

-i kind of talked about this in the tags of that other post, but i think the scariest day was the day we were in a test field a little ways away from the research center. it was kind of stormy but we were like ok whatever, we’ve gotten rained on before with no problem, queue us starting the data collection for the day. its…..really windy. like. i wish i could recreate that feel in art or something or even film it someday, because 1. when the wind blew, the whole field-which, remember, this is our whole world when we’re in there because you can’t see anything but corn in every direction- moved. like, bended, which is typical of corn because like yeah duh it does that, but its like if you were standing in a hallway and suddenly all the walls bent with the wind and so did the cieling. it was that disorienting; i actually stumbled a few times because the only steady thing was the ground and 2. it was loud, like a weird roar in the background. everything is rustling all around you at once. we had to scream our numbers for the breeder to hear us, and when i moved my measuring stick would catch the wind and drag me back a little. then, we heard thunder in the distance. our breeder was like “okay guys we’re gonna finish this field because we’re only like 4 ranges away from the road” and we’re like ok yeah, 40 plots, we can do this. the wind picked up, we kept moving at like twice the pace to get out of there, and when we reached the end it was really close and our breeder was like “come on we have to go now” and we like, picked up our sticks and ran through the corn bending around us with the thunder and everything, can i say midwestern gothic because ive never experienced midwestern gothic more than 4 teenagers with corn sticks and a dude with a data logger running through a discombobulating corn haze at 11am with thunder rolling in. we get to the edge of the field, scramble over the barbed wire fence because we are not running through the rest of the field. in a hot second more teams emerge from the field at various speeds just as it starts storming. we pack up our sticks. our team of four gets in our breeder’s pickup truck and we drive back in the rain. it was a look guys ngl

-throwback to when i just finished doing solo tagging of the ranges in the corn in a field three hours away from the research center. our breeder said to meet him back at the truck when we were done, so when i reach the end of the field having stapled on tags for around 100 ranges (about ten minutes of walking and stapling alone in a single line; these tags will help orient harvesting in the fall), i turn around and start heading straight back, because like again, when you’re in the corn alone its best to know exactly where you are and the way out is always a straight line. i start following my tagging trail back. about five minutes into walking i hear rustling near me. y’all, i was not ready, started jogging and checking behind me and after a little bit i slow down because i feel like i lost whatever it was. rustling continues like its following me. hellno.jpg, not today, i run out of the corn into the alley on the other side, decide i must have imagined it, and start walking towards the truck. as it turns out it was another one of the guys who didn’t know where to go, saw me from his row, and was following me to find his way out of the corn. almost died that day y’all

-occasionally we would visit fields to do brittle snap count, which is lining up, walking a plot, stopping, and yelling out how many broken stalks of corn we counted in the plot we just walked through, then continuing. the whole thing is that farmers understandably hate it when all their corn breaks and dies. we went to this one field that had been hit by a wind storm; it was a really hot day and we were all like dying. this is where my aforementioned scarring comes in. in cornfields, there exists a thingy called corn rash. this is where the corn hits your skin so much that it makes tiny cuts all over you, and then pollen from said corn gets in the cuts along with sweat. it is the worst time i have ever experienced in my life like literally nope would not recommend. eventually we realized that half this field of test crop was broken. like, we stopped counting the amount of plants with broken stems and instead started counting the amount of plants still standing. i was wearing all the protection i needed/that was required (so was everyone else), but it was so hot that literally all of us had corn rash and i was bleeding, big yikes. eventually our super nice breeder for the day realized that we were Struggling™ and was like ok listen we’re going back this isn’t worth it and all the corn is literally dead inexplicably anyway and then took us to get gas station ice cream after bc she felt bad for us lmao, a blessing

-talked to the breeders a lot and asked a ton of questions. learned that sunflower breeding is a thing that happens and that they’re bred to be larger to bear more seed for like, those bags of sunflower seeds you see at gas stations. the more u know

-zoo corn

-the corn in the pollination fields (the corn being bred into pure, genetically identical lines for testing….*insert Corn Discourse Concerning Loss Of Genetic Diversity Here But Not Gonna Talk About It In This Post Bc Its Already Super Long*) gets really weird mutations that i’ve talked about before

-this post got so long im sorry

tl;dr: corn is a terrifying liminal space

[heidissswritingsss]

Crossing Paths- Chapter 2: Taking a Walk

Notes: Thanks for the love on the first chapter, hope you enjoy this next one :)

________ 

It was the day before classes began for Betty and she was feeling her nerves turn with excitement and anxiety. It was 10 am and she was running around her apartment gathering her school supplies and chucking them in her bag to make sure she had everything she needed for tomorrow before she headed out for the day.

“Damn it” Betty muttered under her breath, as she realized that she left all the books she was currently reading in Riverdale.

She decided she would try to find a book store while she was out today. She was planning on finding her way to campus and having a walk around before starting school, to help herself feel more comfortable, and running any last minute errands she needed to before she was drowning in homework.

She pulled on some denim shorts and a button down then pulled the top half of her hair back before grabbing her purse and heading out the door. The hall was burning hot. The air conditioning must have broke, why is everything breaking here, she thought. When she proceeded to walk down the stairs she noticed that all the other floors had air conditioning. She sighed and continued out the front door.

Her walk to school would be two right turns, then a left, then 3 blocks forward. Pretty straightforward, she thought and set off towards school. Once she got there and started walking around she realized just how big the campus was. She decided to find where her first class would be so she wouldn’t be completely lost tomorrow. This specific writing class was at the very end of the hall, better be early tomorrow, she thought. Once she looked around for a while longer, she decided it was time to go find a bookstore.

She pulled up google maps on her phone and found a used book store just a couple blocks past her apartment the other way. It was called Commonwealth Books. On her walk over she was admiring the city scenery and thinking about starting school. Will I make any friends? Will anyone even want to talk to me? She sighed and decided to just let tomorrow unfold without worrying and risk surfacing her anxiety.

Once she came to Commonwealth, she stopped and gazed in the window at all the beautiful old books. When she walked in, she immediately turned into one of the many rows of books and started grabbing anything that caught her eye. She was in her element, reading, writing, words, they were her favorite things in this world, besides mugs of course. She was accumulating quite the stack of books in her arms when she took a step towards the next row and ran straight into someone, knocking the books out of her hand. She scrambled for her books and was apologizing before she heard her name.

“Betty?”

“Y-Ya… Jughead?” she said surprised

She gazed at him, noticing a single raven curl falling in front of his eyes out of his crown shaped beanie that she remembered he wore even when they were 15, as he started slowly picking up her fallen books and putting them back into her arms.

“Thank you Jug” she managed, “Oh, do you work here?” she asked

“Ya.. 6 days a week” he said with a smile

“Wow I’d love to work here, you have no idea how much I love old books” she said

“Um.. actually I think I have a pretty good idea” he said with a shy smile, “So what are you up to today?” he asked

“Oh, I actually just came from campus, I was just familiarizing myself before tomorrow, and then I came on a hunt for a good book store and found this place, It’s so cool in here” she gazed around at all the books with a grin spreading across her face.

“Ya I love it…Do you need any help finding anything?” he asked

“Actually I was looking for The Great Gatsby because I started it when I was still at home, and then forgot to bring it.” she said

“Uhh.. actually I think I just put a copy away” he turned to start looking in the next row over, Betty followed close behind.

“Here it is” he said with a grin handing it to her. “Can I ring this stuff up for you?” he asked

“Sure that’d be great, thanks” she said

She followed him to the register and got her wallet out as he started putting all her books in a big bag.

He handed her the bag and said “Well maybe we’ll run into each other on campus tomorrow”

“Hopefully we don’t actually run into each other again” she said with a laugh

“Haha ya.. See ya later Betty”

“Later Jug” she said with a smile as she headed out the door

He’s so nice, and he loves old books! She hadn’t really noticed until now but he seemed really sweet, not to mention those big blue eyes and soft raven curls.

It was now 2pm and Betty decided she needed some iced tea and headed towards a coffee shop she had noticed near Commonwealth. Once she ordered her drink, she was looking around and noticed a small table with a stack of papers that said Now Hiring, she considered for a second then grabbed one. It’s not like she had enough money saved up to pay rent indefinitely, she knew she would have to get a job eventually and this place was really close. She filled out the application and handed it to the worker when she handed her her drink.

“Looking for a job I see” the lady at the counter said after taking the paper.

“Ya, actually, and this place is really close to where I live and go to school.”

“Oh do you go to Boston University?” she asked

“Ya, I start tomorrow”

“I am taking some classes there right now too, just to finish up my degree this year. Maybe I’ll see you around? Oh by the way my name’s Lex.”

“I’m Betty, nice to meet you… and see you around” She turned to the door with her tea and left with a smile.

Betty took her time on her walk home, it was a beautiful day. She stopped by a park and sat to write in her journal and drink her tea. She watched the ducks in the pond and felt the slight breeze in her hair. This is exactly what I needed, she thought. She felt so at peace, which was a special and rare moment for Betty, as she constantly felt worried, and she definitely didn’t think she would feel this calm the day before starting college classes, It must have been the trip to the bookstore, she thought.

When she finally got up to walk the rest of the way home it was 4pm. She walked into her building feeling pretty tired from walking around all day, then as she made her way up the stairs she paused and remembered that the airconditioning in her hall was broken and decided to take a break in the still air conditioned halls before walking the rest of the way up the stairs with a hot death trap awaiting her at the top. She pulled out the Great Gatsby and started where she had left off at home. After about a minute Jughead walked up the stairs.

“Hey Betty, whats up?”

She quickly looked up from her book and smiled at who it was before saying, “Well actually the air conditioning in my hall is broken and I was taking a break before walking up there” she smiled and blushed when she realized she had been waiting right in front of his apartment.

“Oh that sucks, they really need to get a maintenance guy over here soon, is it still ok in your room though?” he asked

“Ya it was this morning, so it should be all good”

“Ok well just let me know if it gets too hot in your room… you could always chill in mine…” He trailed off not really knowing what he just said or offered.

Betty looked up at his blushing face and said “Oh, that’s very nice of you, thanks Jug..”

They stared at eachother for a moment longer before Betty said “Well I better continue my trek up these stairs, Maybe see you tomorrow?”

“Ya, see ya later Betts.” he clenched his teeth at the old nickname he had just used, then smiled and turned towards his door.

“Bye” Betty managed with a smile before climbing up the stairs to her apartment.

Jughead entered his apartment still blushing as he reached to feel his burning cheeks. He sunk into his couch and pulled out his phone. After scrolling through Twitter for a while he opened a message to Archie.

J: Hey Arch, I was wondering If you could send me Betty’s Number

A: Uh ya, here’s her contact  [Betty Cooper]  why.. Do u like her?! ;)

J: No, I mean I guess, Idk. You’re the one who told me to be nice to her and offer to help if she ever needed anything man.

A: Alright alright whatever man, talk to you later :)

Jughead continued blushing after that conversation and pulled open a new message to Betty.

J: Hey, Betty, Archie sent me ur number… you can text me if you ever need anything… by the way, is your apartment still cool?

He waited a couple of agonizing minutes before she texted back. He just felt so awkward texting her when he had got her number from Archie, but I guess it’s worth it he thought.

B: Oh, hey Jughead, ya my apartment seems to be cool, but damn that hallway is like hell. Thanks for checking on me btw, ur really sweet ;)

J: Well that’s good haha… see you later.

B: Alright Jug ;)

Betty spent the rest of her night chilling before her big day and went to sleep early with a smile on her face.

Jughead was starting to feel excited about starting school and he found himself hoping he would have a class with Betty. He wasn’t sure what his feelings meant, but he knew that he couldn’t stop thinking about Betty, she was so sweet and had the cutest smile he thought, but he wasn’t ready to admit anything to himself yet.

[ganymedeandcallisto]

someone asked me for the 100 questions but tumblr is fuckin up so here u go my friend

1. What’s your middle name, and do you like it? a: lea (pronounced lee), it was my grandmas middle name and yes I do love it 
2. are you artistic? a: fuck yeah I am I sing and play instruments and do art 
3. Have you had your first kiss? a: yes 
4. What is your life goal? a: to be happy TBH 
5. Do you have any expieriences with a famous person? a: my dad went to grade school with this guy who won an Oscar! also Bernie sanders came to my high school for a rally which was so so cool 
6. Do you play any sports? a: what is a sport 
7. What’s your worst fear? a: that everyone I love is pretending to like me TBH 
8. Who’s your biggest inspiration? a: Kim from Matt and Kim ngl, also the people in Costa Rica who created the giant dog sanctuary 
9. Do you have any cool talents? a: I play 6 instruments and also I have a really good memory 
10. are you a morning person? a: YES I love getting up early especially when I don’t have to do anything 
11. How do you feel about pet names? a: hate (dyldoge) 
12. Do you like to read? a: YEAH I DO it’s so fun to me 
13. Name a list of shows that have changed your life. a: the office, game of thrones, the walking dead (mostly cause glenn and maggie) 
14. Do you care about your follower count? a: nope unless it’s 420 or 666 
15. What’s the best dream you’ve had? a: probably one where I was either flying or hugging someone 
16. Have you ever kissed someone of your same gender? a: I have not 
17. Do you have any pets? a: YEAH I HAVE TWO BEAUTIFUL BABIES (dogs) 
18. Are you religious? a: I am not 
19. Are you a people person? a: ahahahahaha noooooooooooooooo 
20. Are you considered popular? a: I’m not sure?? TBH 
21. What is one of your bad habits? a: saying yes when I want to say no, also procrastinating 
22. What’s something that makes you feel vulnerable? a: showing music I love to people 
23. What would you name your children? a: *dogs I love all dog names 
24. Who’s your celebrity crush? a: Marcos is the biggest celebrity of my heart 
25. What’s your best subject? a: English/history that uncovers how awful white america is/has been 
26. Dogs or cats? a: both!!!!!!!! but TBH dogs more 
27. most used social media besides tumblr? a: I’m not sure but I’m gonna say chat snaps 
28. best friends name a: Marcos and varla ofc <3 <3 <3 
29. who does your main family consist of a: my sister and my mom and dad and my two beautiful dog children 
30. Chocolate or sugar a: chocolate 
31. have you ever been on a date? a: yes! not formally like “would you like to go on a date with me?” tho 
32. Do you like rollercosters? a: I did……but Marcos and I went to the fair last summer and concluded that we are too old for this and our joints are too stiff 
33. Can you swim? a: yes and I love swimming so much 
34. What would you do in the event of an apocolypse? a: grab everyone I love and live in a Costco 
35. Have you struggled with any kind of mental disorder? a: yes ednos, depression, and trichotillomania 
36. Are your parents together? a: yes they are 
37. What’s your favourite colour? a: green forever and ever 
38. What country are you from/do you live in? a: USA :^) 
39. Favourite singer? a: I’m gonna say my favorite artist is Matt and Kim but there are so many other favorites ahahah 
40. Do you see yourself being famous some day? a: no TBH unless it’s for cooking 
41. Do you like dresses? a: yeah I fuckin love dresses but they are uncomfy sometimes 
42. Favourite song right now? a: poplar street by glass animals or vampire money by mcr honorable mention: planetary [go!] by mcr, well it’s true that we love one another by the white stripes, northeast by Matt and Kim, man on the moon by zella day, the way we move by langhorne slim and the law, when you’re young by Edward sharpe and the magnetic zeroes 
43. Does talking about sex make you uncomfortable? a: no I actually really like talking about sex! I think it’s healthy to 
44. How old were you when you first got your period? a: like 11 I think lmao 
45. Have you ever shot a gun? a: nope and I don’t really wanna 
46. Have you ever done yoga? a: yes 
47. Are you a horror girl? a: hell yeah give me some of that 😩💯😭👌🏽✔️✔️👅💦💦😳👀😍 babadook 
48. Are you good at giving advice? a: sometimes like I know exactly what I wanna say but I talk around it bc I’m bad at explaining things 
49. Tell us a story about your childhood. a: one time when I was 4 my cousin was bothering me and putting a pillow over my face so I bit him so hard it bled and now he’s a trump supporter but I can’t bite him bc I’m an Adult 
50. How are you doing today? a: I’m good!! I had a really great breakfast with my RA Rebecca and my roommate Sydney! 
51. Were you a cute kid? a: there was no kid cuter than me up until like 1st grade when I got glasses 
52. Can you dance? a: when no one is watching TBH 
53. Is there anything you do that you can’t remember ever not doing? a: eating with chopsticks and also wanting to be in love 
54. Have you ever dyed your hair? a: nooooo but I wanna 
55. What colour are your eyes? a: brown 
56. What’s your favourite animal? a: horses and dogs!! 
57. Have you ever made a huge fool of yourself? a: yes I definitely have :^)))) 
58. Do you have a good relationship with your parents? a: I think so!! they support my decision to change my major and I’m so so happy 
59. Do you have good friends? a: like 3 maybe who I never get to see ://// 
60. Are you close with anyone of the lgbtq+ group? a: ya bich it me (also yes!! many of my friends are) 
61. What’s your favourite class? a: this quarter, Asian American studies 
62. List all the tv shows you are watching. the walking dead, westworld, full frontal with Samantha Bee, daily show, game of thrones, I think that’s it? 
63. Are you organized? a: honey………no 
64. What was the last movie you saw? Opinion? in theaters I saw rogue one and I loved it so much THERE WERE POC LEADS 
67. Which tv character do you relate to most? a: I don’t know actually but probably Pam from the office TBH 
68. What are some things that stand between you and complete happiness? a: distance :/ and financial instability :/ 
69. If you received enough money to never need to work again, what would you spend your time doing? a: taking care of dogs 
70. What would you change about your life if you knew you would never die? a: id change the not dying part…….it’s gotta happen sometime just not now 
71. What would you do differently if you knew that no one was judging you? a: I’d dance all the time in public 
72. If you could start over, what would you do differently? a: stand up for myself 
73. Would you break the law to save a loved one? a: is this even a question of course I would 
74. When was the last time you travelled somewhere new? a: in August when me and Marcos went to SLO 
75. When you think of your home, what immediately comes to mind? a: the living room and my dogs greeting me and getting in n out for dinner 
76. What have you done to pursue your dreams lately? How about today? a: I found out I can change my major really quickly 
77. What did you want to be when you were a kid? a: a paleontologist I loved dinosaurs 
78. If you dropped everything to pursue your dreams, what would you be risking? a: not too much actually I dream of being financially stable with my love Marcos and being surrounded by dogs and having my family live not super close but not too far away 
79.When did you not speak up, when you know you really should have? a: in class bc participation is part of the grade 
80. Describe the next five years of your life, and your plans, in a single sentence a: I’m going to finish college with a steady job, hopefully travel a lot, and spend all the time I can working towards The Dream™ 
81. What would happen if you never wasted another minute of your life, what would that look like? a: me: graduates college and gets a masters degree within a year 
82. If you could live forever, how would you spend eternity? a: looking for a way to make Marcos also live forever and then taking care of all dogs 
83. How would you spend a billion dollars? a: I’d buy a big house that has a lot of land for my dogs to run around in and pay for a bunch of kids’ tuition and buy my parents a bunch of vacations and create spaces for dogs everywhere and donate to Bernie Sanders and Elizabeth Warren……that’s kind of a big question 
84. If you could time travel, would you go to the past or the future? a: the past so that I can see all the history white people cover up 
85. What motivates you to succeed? a: The Dream ™ of being financially stable in a nice apartment with a few dogs and the love of my life Marcos 
86. What dream that you’ve had has resonated with you the most? a: I had a nightmare that trump became president 
87. Would you rather live in the city or the woods? Why? a: woods bc city smell like pee and is smoggy 
88. Do you believe in life after death a: kinda but I hope it’s a life where I don’t really have to Do anything 
89. What teacher inspired you the most? How did they? a: my great uncle because he was a professor of English and he loved my great aunt so much and had a house in the middle of nowhere surrounded by forest and deer and it had a greenhouse and a place for bats to roost 
90. What’s your fondest childhood memory? a: making pillow forts with my sister and then destroying them by jumping on top of them 
91. If you could have dinner with any one person, living or dead, who would they be and why? a: I wanna have dinner with Donald trump, specifically so I can stab him in his orange face with my fork 
92. What would you have to see to cry tears of joy? a: not too many things TBH I cry very hard at practically everything 
93. What is the hardest lesson you had to learn in life? a: you shouldn’t have to change something about yourself in order to deserve love (unless ur a neo nazi or a mass murderer or something like that obviously) 
94. What do you think happens after we die? a: party in the afterlife 
95. What would you do if you would be invisible? a: probably steal money from trump but make it look like mike pence or richard spencer did it 
96. What’s something you can’t do no matter how hard you try? a: whistle ahahaha 
97. Would you want to choose the sex and appearance of your offspring? a: all dogs are beautiful 
98. How did your first crush develop? a: my first crush was on Luke Skywalker and it developed by me watching a new hope 
99. Is there a feeling you are trying to ignore? What is it? a: it’s the feeling of That Fuck Shit and i ignore it on the daily 
100. Do you live or do you just exist? a: time is meaningless and none of us Actually exist

[pips-fics]

ask: um hi hello i rly rly like ur lucy fics and i finally came up with a prompt !! could u please write gwangil becoming overwhelmed with trying to balance university + helping make music + lucy promos and getting so anxious to the point he becomes physically sick? i would rly like to see how u write that as well as how the other members react/try to comfort him. thank u so much i rly look forward to reading it and ur future lucy fics too 💜

tw: the entirety of this fic depicts anxiety. please skip it if that is triggering to you. though i didn’t intend to write a full-blown panic/anxiety attack, many of gwangil’s symptoms here are reminiscent of one and could be triggering. i’d say the most triggering paragraph is the “at six pm” one, but it is very woven into this fic as a whole so please use caution. for anyone who would like to know more details, here are his symptoms, which are described in some cases quite graphically: difficulty breathing, shaking handsets sweating, achy muscles, light-headedness, nausea, headache, the sound of one’s heart beating in their own ears, and vomiting.

as much as he complained about the difficulty, gwangil always told wonsang to push him when it came to playing the drums. he figured it was the quickest way to improve his skills, and since he felt he was lagging behind the others due to having had less time to learn his instrument, he wanted to get better as quickly as possible.

unfortunately, he may have been a bit overambitious with school for similar reasons. the other members of his band had either completed university already, or weren’t planning on attending. gwangil wanted to finish his degree as soon as possible so that he would have more time to dedicate to his craft. he didn’t think taking one extra class would be too much of a problem.

he thought he was handling things well for a while, actually. he kept himself on a very regimented schedule, planned every day’s activities down to the minute, and finally broke his habit of procrastinating.

he was feeling pretty confident, until quite suddenly he wasn’t.

at six pm, he had two papers due within hours and three exams the next day, and suddenly gwangil couldn’t breathe. in the car on the way to their first music show for their recent comeback, unsure if he could even play their latest release because his hands were not only blistered but achy, shaking, and sweaty, gwangil wondered if his professors would let him off the hook if he passed out. having not slept for two whole days and become friends with a seemingly permanent headache, gwangil felt his stomach lurch threateningly.

“pull over.” gwangil wasn’t in the habit of ordering anyone to do anything, least of all their driver who was very good at her job, but he couldn’t manage anything else just then. he figured being curt now and apologizing for his rudeness later was preferable to vomiting in the car right then and there. he leaned forward and put his head beneath his knees, trying to ignore the way the car jolted his head up and down. yechan, who was next to gwangil and had started rubbing his back, encouraged their driver to hurry in an uncharacteristically serious voice, and then told wonsang to look for a bag in the back of the car.

if gwangil wasn’t desperately trying not to vomit, he would’ve been thoroughly impressed. as it was, he had to swallow back a mouthful of rancid sick that had made it up his throat once and was threatening to return with a vengeance momentarily.

fortunately, the car slowed to a stop, and with yechan’s help, gwangil stumbled out of the car. he squatted in the grass at the side of the road and bent forward, waiting. sangyeop had taken over for yechan and was massaging gwangil’s shoulders - which was nice, but gwangil felt a sliver of guilt slice through his gut for causing so much unnecessary concern, and for drawing things out for so long.

five minutes had passed and all he’d managed to do was sweat through his nice shirt and drool a bit onto the grass. the nausea was still there, stronger than ever, but nothing else seemed to be happening. he tried to take a deep breath, but couldn’t seem to get his lungs around enough air, and ended up coughing.

painful as it was, that seemed to do the trick. brought up by a cough-turned-retch, puke splattered into the grass and, once he fell to a kneel, onto gwangil’s hands. he could hear his heart pounding too-loud in his ears, somehow louder than his retching.

there wasn’t much in his stomach to expel, but the first wave was followed by uncontrollable dry-heaving and a few mouthfuls of bile. dizzy and exhausted, gwangil leaned in to the cool hands that brushed his sweaty hair back and helped him sit on his heels. he was still shaky and nauseous, but the overwhelming need to vomit was fading, and he could refocus on his surroundings again.

sangyeop was explaining to yechan - and probably gwangil himself - that he didn’t have a fever, and he couldn’t have eaten something bad because they’d been having their meals together since they’d spent the entire weekend practicing. yechan, whose lips were pressed into a thin line (once again catching gwangil off guard in its serious nature), nodded in agreement, but reached out to check gwangil’s forehead just in case. wonsang hesitantly offered gwangil a bottle of water.

after taking a few sips, gwangil cleared his throat. “shouldn’t we get going?”

the other three men looked at him like he’d just announced that dogs meowed and cats barked. “what?” he demanded. “we’re already going to be late.”

“you don’t get carsick, do you?” yechan asked, hesitant, almost hopeful. gwangil frowned.

“no, but we’re still gonna be late.”

recently, sangyeop and yechan had begun exchanging glances with each other more frequently, communicating silently as if they actually did have powers of telepathy. gwangil was torn between finding it amusing and being annoyed by it, but right now, he found no humor in the way they both simultaneously shook their heads without speaking a singe word aloud. finally, sangyeop, in the gentlest voice he had, broke the silence.

“we’re not going, gwangil.”

his immediate emotional response was not surprise. it was not disappointment, or confusion, or sadness. it was anger, red hot and inexplicably potent.

it was surprise at his own volatility that stopped him from lashing out blindly. gwangil wasn’t typically an angry person. he’d never seen red before, not literally, not like this, and something in the back of his mind told him that he was in the wrong.

yes, he had worked extremely hard for this performance - but so had the others. sure, he’d been a bit busier with school recently, but that was the consequence of his own choices. no one had forced him. he looked around at his bandmates and saw no anger there, no disappointment - just concern. his own anger drained away, leaving only disappointment, sadness, and a question that he probably already knew the answer to.

“why?”

“you’re sick,” yechan said, as if that explained everything. it was what gwangil had expected him to say.

“i’m not. you both checked - i don’t have a fever, do i?”

yechan shook his head, and sangyeop played with gwangil’s hair. “you don’t need to have a fever to be sick,” sangyeop murmured. “we live with you, gwangil - you can’t think we don’t see how hard you’ve been pushing yourself, especially recently. it’s too much.”

“i’m sorry,” wonsang said in a small voice, before gwangil even had a chance to argue. “i kept asking more of you, even though i knew you were already under so much pressure…”

gwangil felt himself soften. “it’s not your fault, hyung. i told you i could do it!” he lightly punched wonsang in the arm and received a weak smile in return. “i…” gwangil sighed. “i might not be the best at pacing myself,” he admitted, “but that’s on me, okay?”

wonsang still looked uncertain, but when he nodded, it seemed genuine.

“let’s go home for now, yeah?” yechan asked, reaching out an arm to help gwangil up. standing, he felt his exhaustion kick in to a new level, and was suddenly relieved to not have to play the drums tonight.

“can i draft emails asking for deadline extensions for your essays?” sangyeop asked. gwangil shrugged.

“just let me read them before you send them.”

sangyeop nodded. “of course.”

when they returned to their dorms, gwangil’s bed felt so much like heaven, he couldn’t even bring himself to be sad about the missed performance any more. well, just a little. he stayed awake long enough to approve sangyeop’s emails and spared a few thoughts to hoping he’d be allowed the extensions, but ultimately concluded that there wasn’t much he could do about it at the moment, and drifted into the first deep sleep he’d had in weeks.

——

a very quick reader survey (specific to this fic!) to make me smile and help me plan/get hype for my next fic: https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/TCPV6LW

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feel free to send more asks! / rules

[shitpostingperidot]

tag game #1

tagged by @shinelikeastarlight​ 

tagging: @queerczar​ @persona-engine​ @kates-barbaric-yawp​ @mebediel​ @brokenlightdances​ @petticoatsandparlipro​ @oshindijo ok so some of these questions are about kpop and i don’t know anything about kpop so like im not gonna answer these questions and you don’t have to either, also it’s long as shit so i won’t take offense @spacewifespock and @boyjadzia you were tagged in sara’s but idk if you’ve done it

last text sent: “and puppers”

list three favourite colours: purple, blue, teal-ish

what time did u wake up at today: idk late what were u doing last night at midnight: watching faking it with @spacewifespock​ and @boyjadzia​ name something you can’t wait for: finding a job when was the last time u saw ur mother: two weeks exactly one thing u wish u could change abt ur life: recognition from parents and teachers and medical professionals that reading at a young age and being assigned female at birth do not preclude diagnoses of developmental disorders whats getting on ur nerves rn: right at this second, the fact that my room is very small favourite tv shows: dollhouse, su, btvs, got a big soft spot for bones  first best friend: cora in 1st grade, we became fast friends because she stayed at my house every day in the summer while her mom worked listening to rn: my roommate and her friend reading shitposts out loud 

3 fears: abandonment, 3D movies, insects

4 turn ons: soft hair, nibbling my ear, being the big spoon, i think i took this question too literally 4 turn offs: disrespectfulness, stalkerish behavior, lack of willingness to learn from mistakes, policing my food choices sexual orientation: hell if i know, into girls and maybe into guys but idk if that’s real or a comp het thing senior year quote in my year book: “how lucky i am to have something that makes leaving so hard” -aa milne (also lmao i was so glad to be getting out of that hellhole this quote is absolutely a lie in that context) first thing i notice in a person: entirely dependent on the context in which i encounter them shoe size: us womens 9ish eye colour: bluey greeney  hair colour: i’m not sure how to describe it but i failed at doing box dye job of blue (while drunk) about six weeks ago so bits of it are bleached, bits are green, bits are greyish, bits are my natural dirty blonde, it’s a mess favourite item of clothing: my new gay baseball space shirt from the regina spektor concert what colour of underwear i’m wearing rn: ugly cream color with flowers ultimate bias: whats a kpop ultimate bias group: what is the difference between this and the other question favourite season: the days in winter that are both sunny and snowy how much time i spent on designing my blog: i spent a few weeks finding a theme and then like 30 mins customizing it the reason i joined tumblr: the gf pestered me about it do i ever get “good morning” or “goodnight” texts: every night from both my mom and gf, rarely morning though i like to send them when did i last hold hands: about 3 hours ago how long does it take me to get ready in the morning: depending on my executive function level between five minutes and two hours to do the same exact things brain why u do this have i shaved my legs in the past 3 days: try five years where am i rn: in bed do i like music loud or at a reasonable level: reasonable but if it’s actual speakers i like to stand next to them and vibrate 3 things i love: my gf, dogs, video games how i feel rn: sleepy something i rlly, rlly want: a job 3 things that upset me: when people say one thing and do another, subtext, the breaking of promises what i find attractive in other ppl: good taste in video games, passion and knowledge, respect of my interests, cuddliness, being strong “in the real way” (okay i’m literally just describing abi) 3 habits i have: dermatillomania, snoozing my alarm for hours, not doing laundry something i fantasize abt: i have a very specific fantasy about visiting abi in europe next year, it is a several day itinerary i think about something im talented at: emotional labor the blog i give the most notes to: spacewifespock last person re-blogged sth from me: @single-ready-for-pringles do  i smoke/drink: no/yes my favourite food: peanut butter my favourite dessert: a three layer brownie bar my grandma made but now i can make it what i did yesterday: spent the day searching for a lost cat number of kids i want: dude idk i almost got suspended from college last quarter this is something i don’t need to be thinking about number of siblings i have: 1 human, 1 dog something thats constantly on my mind: abi :)

last person i messaged on tumblr: my tumblr sister oshindijo can i drive: theoretically, i’m not insured though which given the absurd number of car accidents my family has been in that are other people’s faults, gives me pause even when i’m in tn and have access to a car what state or part of the world do i live in: chicago, illinois am i in school: i’m on extended student status, which means i’ve finished my graduation requirements but can’t yet graduate for various reasons, so i’m auditing a class this quarter and gettin that degree in june do i get grossed out easily: i get grossed out by very specific things and gore/bodily fluids is not one of them because in high school my interest was the tv show bones somewhere i would like to visit for a week: i wish i had enough money for tokyo disneyland, alternatively, visiting abi next year, going on her old stomping grounds in rennes, taking her to my old ones in paris, making some new ones for ourselves i’ll love u if: you help me through my problems last show i binge-watched: theoretically faking it what words upset me the most: r word what words make me feel best abt myself: when abi gets really drunk and starts telling me that i am exactly how i wish to be perceived in the world, that’s good a wish that i’ve wished for repeatedly on 11:11: okay so i had one that was on behalf of myself and i knew i was in love when i unconsciously switched to one that was on behalf of abi and i knew that i meant it who i would switch lives with for a day: i was gonna say anita sarkeesian but sara @shinelikeastarlight has got the right idea, switch with some rich fuckboy to show him how the other half lives and also wire a bunch of cash to the real me my favourite ice cream: moose tracks allergies: almonds, mold, ragweed, the usual plants, but none but almonds has ever been a problem in chicago sexiest person to come to mind immediately: abi ;) my childhood career choice: YA writer or editor one of my insecurities: becoming a bad student when i used to not be how many blogs am i following: 892??? i need to be more aggressive with the unfollow when i see something that pisses me off how many tabs/different windows do i have open at this very moment: 17 coke or pepsi: dr pepper tea or coffee: tea, because you can steep one tea bag on multiple occassions movie or book: book a sense i would be willing to lose: controversial opinion: sight quote i live by: my inner voice/things that i remember are uh, not kind enough to me to repeat type of accessory i wear the most: it’s rare that i’m not wearing a hat last awkward situation i found myself in: being unsure if i should get off the bus at my apartment or drop abi off and walk home and the bus was like at my stop when i realized i’d have to make this decision what time is it rn: 1:53am

a song that made me cry: when regina spektor at her concert last friday played a russian lullaby in memory of an old friend and chicago resident who had died since regina had been to the city last, i have no idea what they were saying but it was emotional first song u ever sang at karaoke: my eyes from dr horrible with some dude i didn’t know who was the only one who knew the other part