#that won't stop me from not realizing my typing mistakes but it's an improvement in case I do 😝

[dracimexidae]

I was tagged by @valentinaonthemoon (thank you! 😊)

RULES: bold the ones that are true & tag 10 people to do it.

APPEARANCE

blonde hair // I prefer loose clothing to tight clothing // I have one or more piercings // I have at least one tattoo // I have dyed or highlighted my hair // I have gotten plastic surgery // I have or had braces // I sunburn easily // I have freckles // I paint my nails // I typically wear makeup // I don’t often smile // I am pleased with how I look // I prefer Nike to Adidas // I wear baseball hats backwards

-- so yeah, if we consider any piercing I have the "boring" one per ear as well, I'm kind of entertaining the idea of doing a second piercing on both ears near the ones already open but my lobes are rather small, so I don't know, we'll see // I've been dyeing my hair for some years now, since nature didn't give me red hair I took that matter into my own han... well no, actually my hairdresser's hands 😁 (I've never dyed my hair on my own, I guess it would be cheaper but I'm afraid I would make a disaster)! I don't even go entirely red, I just do meshes on top of my head and keep my natural colour behind and on the sides (I carry short hair), which is dark brown... and grey/white, because nature did decide to give me plenty of white hair even if I'm not even 35 yet, yay! 😅 I think I have to thank genetics from my father's side for it but whatever, I don't really mind much, it's not really the reason why I dye my hair anyway // if by "braces" you mean that infernal stuff used by dentists to trap your teeth and having a nightmare inside your mouth, yeah, sadly I had them, and I HATED it!!! And I know I definitely should have kept them more, and on both dental arches (I only wore it on the upper one) because my teeth are far from perfect, but whatever, since they finally freed me from that instrument of torture I was sure I never wanted to have anything to do with it again! // ah, the "I am pleased with how I look"... coming from someone who has been struggling with her body (especially her weight) practically all her life, you know what? I am arriving to a point in which I'm more sure of myself when I say that yes, despite everything I am pleased with how I look after all, not because I was born or grew up to be particularly beautiful, at least... canonically speaking? What is considered canonical anyway? I believe beauty is very subjective and personal in terms of appreciation, and I can only speak according to my own standards of "beauty", which would make me say I'm not really beautiful, but I've been working on myself, I've been dealing with my ups and downs, my satisfaction and my guilt for whatever I have been doing (or not doing) to take care of me, and I'm finding that with time more moments came in which I rooted for and appreciated myself and my appearance more than the ones in which I thought it wasn't worth it and I wasn't doing enough and even if I did, MY enough would never be enough anyway... maybe it was the effort and sacrifices I put myself through, maybe I'm learning to be kinder and less judgemental with the way I criticize what I (or don't) say or do, but I can see I'm doing better, and I know that it doesn't sound forced when I say it and that I want to continue to walk this path! --

HOBBIES & TALENTS

I play a sport // I can play an instrument // I am artistic // I know more than one language // I have won a trophy in some sort of competition // I can cook or bake without a recipe // I know how to swim // I enjoy writing // I can do origami // I prefer movies to tv shows // I can execute a perfect somersault // I enjoy singing // I could survive in the wild on my own // I have read a new book series this year // I enjoy spending time with friends // I travel during work or school breaks // I can do a handstand

-- I don't know if I can say that I am artistic, does occasionally making jewellery and accessories and a bit of calligraphy makes me so? 🤷And in all truth I'm not yet able to make them from scratch, so I generally follow others' tutorials, maybe tweaking stuff here and there, but whatever 😅 // So far I know, aside from my mother tongue - Italian - I know English and a bit of Spanish... well, not nearly enough to have a proper conversation I've been studying for not such a long time but I'm starting to understand more the written language and catching up a bit more on the spoken one, but the latter is way harder atm, as with all languages, I suppose... Unfortunately my Babbel subscription (I started learning Spanish there) has expired and prices have increased since last year, so for now I put it on hold, even if I finished the main courses and was going through the ones to expand my vocabulary, and tbh I had half a mind, if I reactivated my subscription, to start learning another language, which would be Portuguese 😊, but I'm not really keen on paying for two languages at the moment, idk... // Well, when I say I can cook without a recipe, let's say they are rather basic dishes and that I do it with recipes I've done over and over, because otherwise I'm rather "maniacal" in following a recipe, and that is true especially with baking, that I really can't do from scratch - maybe it's also because even the baking recipes I do more frequently, like muffins or pancakes, I don't do them often, in any case I would be too scared of forgetting or messing up stuff, so I always need to have written instructions... I would hate to fuck them up, both for my sake and my mother's, since we are the ones enjoying them! 😋 // When I say I enjoy singing, I'm not saying I am good at it, although once some years ago, when i was really in the mood (because I usually sing on my own, I'm still not that comfortable with doing it with other people around) and I started singing along with friends in a car, a friend of mine who a rather trained ear for music said I had a good voice... Anyway, I give my best performances at home with nobody around: I believe my go to songs would be Abba's, or my childhood's anime theme songs (the ones sung in Italian, if you've ever heard of Cristina D'Avena or Giorgio Vanni 😝), but I've even dared to try some Nightwish or Evanescence, even when I'm working out, can you imagine the result (especially when I work out, while concentrating on the lyrics distracts me from the effort of doing an exercise, there is that tiny aspect of keep my breath, which I definitely can't use for both singing and exercising, and sometimes even laughing at myself for even trying and failing both 😂) --

RELATIONSHIPS

I am in a relationship // I have been single for over a year // I have a crush // I have a best friend who I’ve known for ten years // my parents are together // I have dated my best friend // I am adopted // my crush has confessed to me // I have a long distance relationship // I am an only child // I give advice to my friends// I have made an online friend // I met up with someone I have met online

-- I really don't know if during the years I've made some friends online (which would have happened only here on Tumblr, since I didn't meddle with other social networks), there were few people with whom I talked I did consider friends, but I've been so awful at keeping relationships going with my inconstancy and disappearances that I'm aware it's rather difficult to keep up with me and I don't know if those people ever considered me even close to a friend 😔 --

AESTHETICS

I have heard the ocean in a conch shell // I have watched the sun rise // I enjoy rainy days // I have slept under the stars // I meditate outside // the sound of chirping calms me // I enjoy the smell of the beach // I know what snow tastes like // I listen to music to fall asleep // I enjoy thunderstorms // I enjoy cloud watching // I have attended a bonfire // I pay close attention to colors // I find mystery in the ocean // I enjoy hiking on nature paths // Summer is my favorite season

-- I'm probably illuding myself but I think I've heard the ocean in a conch shell? I like to think I did, at least 🐚 // something I would like to do is sleeping under the stars and watching the sun rise, especially the second, not that I had many opportunities to do either but I guess what really prevented me so far has been that I'm too lazy and enjoy comfort too much to sleep outside or wake up at ungody hours ah ehm 😅 // the sound of chirping calms me... mh, not really at not even 5 am when I'd like to sleep but it wakes me up, it doesn't 😆 I mean I like it, but I believe not even the birds are chill most of the time (not the ones outside my window for sure), so why would their "chattering" make me calm?! 😝 // I admit I've been enjoying rainy days with moderation more recently, because we have some problems at home with electricity we still haven't figured out (there is likely an exposed cable outside the house which, when there is rain - probably also directed by wind - makes electricity go off) and it's rather annoying since we don't know what exactly causes it yet; not to mention that recently with heavy rain there have been some pretty serious floods in the region and in areas near where we live which were disastrous for some people, towns and infrastructures - they were surely exceptional events but they made me more distrustful towards rain; also yeah, well, surely rain is less bothersome when one's cozy at home and not outside! Let's just say that I mainly enjoy light rain, or better just cloudy days, ok?! // for all reasons above, I couldn't bold the fact that I enjoy thunderstorms, in fact they terrify me, but that was even before recent events tbh // when I was little, while watching the clouds I often enjoyed spnding time to guess what familiar shape they took, it's a fairly common game, one that I sometimes do even now 😊 // I'm not really sure what "paying attention to colours" means, but I do keep an eye on them and their combination, not only while dressing (I'm not a fashionista at all, but I still pay a bit of attention coordinating my outfits, with the little I have), Idk I just really like colours! --

MISCELLANEOUS

I can fall asleep in a moving vehicle // I am the mom friend // I live by a certain quote // I like the smell of sharpies // I am involved in extracurricular activities // I enjoy Mexican food // I can drive a stick shift // I believe in true love // I make up scenarios to fall asleep // I sing in the shower // I wish I lived in a video game // I have a canopy above my bed // I am multiracial // I am a redhead // I own at least 3 cats

-- as long as I feel I'm safe knowing that someone I know is with me and is vigilant, like traveling with me on a train, yep, I believe I can fall asleep in a moving vehicle, I did it in the past after all, in a car with my family even more so, but if I'm on my own there's no chance, I need to be alert at all times, I'd be to anxious for someone to take advantage of my being asleep // I don't think I may have eaten enough of Mexican food to judge it fairly, but so far I liked what I ate, and I read some recipes that seem delicious even if I haven't tried them // if "stick shift" is indeed a car, eh, theoretically I can, but I almost never do it, because the road (mostly other people driving) drives me nuts andupsets me... it's something I'm aware I have to work on, because now I fortunately don't have much need of it, but being able to drive is sadly important, and as much as I don't like it I'll have to learn to be more comfortable with it, sigh // alas, don't ask me how or why, despite all in this world that wants to prove me otherwise and my character and better sense, somehow I still believe in true love, whatever that means (I think how it is perceived is s also rather individual, I have my own definition of it, or how it should be, and I don't consider it exclusive to romantic dynamics btw - friendship is a form of love as well and it can be as powerful and meaningful and worthy of being considered "true love" too, and I will die on that hill // given that my making up scenarios is not relegated just to bedtime, as much as I'd like for them to making me feel more cozy and relaxed and help me distracting from the day to day problems that I can't possibly solve while lying in bed so that my brain would just shut the fuck up and leave me be for few hours please and thank you ��, the thing is sometimes I find an idea or scenario that gets me excited enough to keep me wide awake, which is rather counter-productive if you ask me 😅 // I don't actually sing in the shower, not at least while I shower, or at least i do it very rarely, but I occasionally like to sing in my bathroom and shower stall because i like the acoustics in there 😎 --

I'm not tagging anyone (not even sure if people I'd tag would remember me 😅), but if anyone wants to give this a try and let me know feel free to do it!

[starblue2406]

Ok, this chapter comes with many illustrations. Very stupid but it has them.

Let's start with the most important: The parallelism between the past and the present that Acomfire shares with Arceus/Argique. How could you have realized, it was an idea that I had had for a long time, however the original drawing had to remain as a conceptual art due to the passage of time, the improvement of the drawing style and the new technique in which I want to guide my art. However, I still love the original drawing.

We continue with more of Acomfire's stuff, originally, before I started to make the drawing above, I thought about drawing right in her joy just when she has the flowers in her hands and smells them, however, it didn't convince her at all, although if you notice it also had influence with the main drawing

From here things are more of a joke and that is why they are much simpler and hand-drawn.Let's start with this, which is practically the scene where Damos says this dialogue:

The idea came to me from a meme on the right side. "When you stay at your friend's house xD" and we can see an edit of a Mexican YouTuber who was previously famous and a funny photograph of one of the candidates for the presidency from 6 years ago.It was just that image to think "literally this is in my fic".

Many think that Argique is a woman when they see her, I didn't realize that when I drew him, I only saw a sophisticated and elegant man when I did it.Now I can't stop thinking about that and knowing Acomfire's great chivalry, it is logical that he believed that this pretty being was a pretty princess. Damos He hadn't even realized that until Acomfire mentioned it, now he won't stop thinking about it and he won't be able to stop himself from laughing his head off.

Now I won't be able to help but have questions about Arceus/Argique's gender identity and expression, I thought my version was simple enough to think about issues of that type, but I think I made a mistake. Maybe I'm just wasting my time and that topic just remains a stupid joke, but I think it's worth thinking about for a while.

Such as the dialogue and the scene is a reference to one of my favorite memes:

[nathank77]

12/22/24

7:40 p.m Changed Significantly/Super added to I'm going to stop typing bc I wrote a fucking essay and I want to watch TV and I really want a cigarette and the spelling mistakes are making my withdrawal worse cause it's making me mad to have to fix everything so i can reread my essay and think through my feelings...

Maybe i should have told my audiologist that I hear a voice... I mean I have tinnitus 100%, I'm sitting here right now with my left ear just as one consistent long beep. I thought everyone had that happen. But it's gotten worse it used to be sometime. Now it's whenever I don't hear the voice. I didn't even tell her about the beep bc I thought it was normal.

I prefer it. I've been trying to focus in on the beep. But it's also deafening tbh. I probably should get treated for tinnitus.

I know i had cannabis induced psychosis...... and I know i got ptsd from it....

But the voice is lame. Sometimes my thoughts are very psychosisy... I don't like to game much bc I'll think a thought like, "I want you to kill yourself then your case against me will get dropped and your father won't have anything on me.", and I'm like that's Kristen... as an insta thought... but I'm like God can you fucking stop giving yourself anxiety...... cause like none of it is a hallucination...

I'll think, "i think you're creepy and I'm building a harassment case against you but i don't have enough yet to press charges." That's Elise. And then I'll want to hit myself bc its an auto thought.. like those are psychosisy thoughts. I know it's not Elise and it's not Kristen but I think the anxiety thought, have the auto thought and it makes me want to stay busy 24/7 bc then I don't have all these thoughts. Like, I can't even tell you when I play minecraft or something i get such bad psychosisy thoughts. My brain even will be like, "you keep thinking about having kids with me bc we can send mental messages and I'm going to marry you and have a baby with you." That's Elise. Sometimes it's positive but nonetheless they are all labeled as psychosisy thoughts and annoying and I don't want to have them.. so I don't game like i used to....

Or I'll think, "I only haven't blocked you bc I'm afraid you'll report me and It's going to stay like this forever to protect me... and I'm hoping I'll run out the statue of limitations bc you're too stupid to realize how crazy you are and how I'm never going to talk to you again. Obv I'm protecting myself. And I'm banking on you thinking I'll show up for you one day. I don't trust you. I'm scared of you."

I have all sorts of thoughts like this... so I stay busy all the time.

But these thoughts are like when psychosis was bad but it was an auditory hallucination instead whereas now it's just a thought with no hallucination attached... which is why I don't game like I used to... and why I stay constantly busy..

I know my hallucination has decreased and gotten better bc it used to repeat every thought i had and now it doesn't. It's gotten a lot more silent but I still hear the happy birthday party every morning when I wake up... it's improved but it sure isn't a quality of life...

And the trauma from psychosis still haunts me everyday. If only I had a therapist.. it's too bad I got no one to talk to. I'm very self aware and if I had a good therapist I'd probably be able to make progress.

But anyways when I say my auditory hallucination is pathetic the voice part (Not like the fucking mental pictures with sound effects... I hate that it's very uncomfortable and makes falling asleep hard, its traumatic but less traumatic than the mental pictures with verbal auditory hallucinations.) but the voice is really a broken record with no intelligence now.

I mean it used to be scary, intelligent, creative, come up with all these elaborate stories and whatever. Now it's really just:

1) happy birthday

2) I have a birthday present

2) bussycunt

3) successful right now

4) deadname

5) Nathan

6) Elisha

7) This is special

I mean I don't hear much else. It lacks everything it used to have and as I've written this ive focused in on the prolonged nonstop beep in my left ear.. and yes I've heard the voice whenever I've thought about it... but not as much

Maybe i can replace the voice with this beep bc i don't like it. It's deafening silence... and it's uncomfortable and makes me dissociate and experience derealization.... I prefer it over the voice... but not much. But it feel like recovery.. I've been writing for 20 minutes and this beep has not stopped..

I really should have told my dr. I will when I get my hearing aids.. maybe they can have me see a tinnitus treatment place. Idk..

But sometimes I wonder if the voice is remnants of ptsd and psychosis but mostly just tinnitus... cause this beep... it's constant

Like what if i beat psychosis but have severe ptsd and severe tinnitus.. idk i def mostly beat psychosis and white mulberries helped a lot.

I should probably tell my Dr sooner than when I get my hearing aids.. But yea I've just been thinking about this a lot. I mean it is recorded that I have tinnitus. But they don't know the severity.

Maybe i should tell her I hear a voice all the time and in white noise its worse and I hear a prolonged constant beep when I don't hear the voice and sometimes with the voice. But the prolonged beep is in silence. Same with the voice but I can almost pick what i "want," to hear. But not really cause I'd never hear the voice again if I actually could...... . I'm afraid that she will want to send me to a psychiatrist. And I'll refuse.. maybe I'll stick to the beep.

Oh and I'm going to my dad's on Christmas.. why? It's my Christmas and it's not fair to me to not have a Christmas dinner and to not have a tree and to not be able to sit in a chair without having anxiety.

It's not fair that Riley is still here and i deserve to have a normal family and be loved and wanted....

I feel awful but I mean... guilt and what if it's her last Christmas is whats keeping me here. Maybe I'll change my mind but all I can do is sit in a camp chair which I'll take in a bag to the living room keep it away from the dirty Riley furniture so my clothes stay clean...

But it'll be depressing. I'll have to make my own dinner. Although as I write this and hear this beep and the voice...and think about her being here alone i feel like a piece of shit.

Yet I got to think about what's the right decision for me? Well to go to dad's bc then I'll have a Christmas. But then I think what if it's my mother last Christmas?

So I'm anxiuos bc my mother goes back to work in January... early January. I told her Riley has to be in the crate all day otherwise I'm going to let her run out in the road bc I got places to be and I don't have the money to buy the gloves I need to fucking crate her bc she's torturing me and doesn't care about my feelings.

I can't afford to buy vinyl gloves and use like 84 of them a day and wash my hands in cold and hot water bc I touched her dirty crate. She needs to stay in the crate the entire time she's at work.

Speaking of tinnitus I just heard a ring. Like a cell phone ring... maybe with any luck I can turn this into full-blown tinnitus and no more voice??

[keefwho]

August 20 - 2023 Sunday

10:04 AM

I'm feeling like I can't sustain an emotional connection. I'm having the thought that I won't be able to stay on the attack and do what I need to do because I'll stop as soon as I see any improvement. But I know even if I see improvement, I have to keep going or I'll inevitably start to falter.

1:48 PM

I need to go to the store soon to pick up some bottled water and rice and maybe a couple other things. While today is the perfect day schedule-wise, I am struggling to work myself up to it. I'm trying to isolate exactly what kinds of thoughts are stopping this from being a simple little trip. I can't always rely on naturally feeling great in order to go out so it would be helpful to get to the bottom of this.

First of all is the worry that I might embarrass myself. This is something that used to be a big problem. I'm afraid of speaking up because I feel like socializing is some type of puzzle where I need to say just the right thing or else I'll "fail" for lack of a better word. I've overcome this by realizing if I have something to do, all that matters is my goal really, it doesn't matter if I make good small talk or win anyone over. It's as simple as getting the chore done and exercising honest communication in order to do that which I am good at. I mostly fear socializing for fun because I have a low opinion of myself and dont feel like I have anything interesting to talk about. Not to mention I'm usually so deep in my own head that I can't do other's enough justice by listening to them.

I guess my focus is not very good today and I can picture a lot going wrong because of that, even though actually going into the store would be less than a 5 minute experience.

I supposed to boil it down, I'm having thoughts that even for a menial task, I will be a failure. I'm telling myself a story where I won't be able to focus on or enjoy my time out or see myself on equal footing with everyone else. All eyes will be on me, judging me like someone special. Instead of focusing on everything that could go right, I'm focusing on past mistakes and even making up new ones.

5:16 PM

This happens every weekend where I cannot pick what to do with myself. I feel overwhelmed, like I can't focus at all. Like my head is full of TV static. It always results in the day flying by and me having nothing to show for myself. All my attempts so far to do something about this have failed. Its not as simple as doing something if I can force myself to do so. I think it has to do with focusing my attention on one thing instead of thinking about everything I could be doing.

11:06 PM

Today was a flop. I did a couple things here and there but for the most part I couldn't pick what to do for fun or otherwise. It all happened in a way that I don't remember any of today. It all blurred together into one big boring mass. A couple things I can pick out are watching more of the Chris Chan documentary and eating a chicken burger with WAY too much onion on it.

The worse thing that happened today was this period in the afternoon where I felt lonely but also didn't want to talk to anyone and I didn't want to do anything so I was kinda stunlocked.

The best thing that happened today was my lovely conversation with my bestie in the flowers under a tree in VR. It's refreshing seeing her after the last few days.

[archenemyintellegence]

(21/1/2023)

Today is a very interesting day.

When I offered Loki his daily dose of chocolate, I found out I got the one with special packaging again. I did a google search last time this happened and I found out there's someone claiming that there may be one special package in each box. But I doubt that it's that common. Despite I was not a regular Melty Kiss consumer before I started offering Loki chocolate, I ate it for years and I have never seen one with special packaging in my whole life before this. I thought it's Loki giving me confirmation that he appreciate me buying him new boxes of chocolate, but later I realized it's deeper than that.

I often eat the chocolate after lunch but as I was in a hurry today, I forgot to eat it and take a photo to record this special chocolate. But there's no mistake. Everything is planned. Because then my sister told me something that really makes the day special.

Last week, when I did my prayer to Loki, I heard my late grandma speaking to me. She told me to take care of my sister, and also told me to remind them to pay special attention to potential car accident. It's not uncommon for me to hear things from spirits, but as it's happening too often, I often doubt the voices or thinking that it's all in my head. However, as I was praying to Loki that time, I paid special attention to the voices and believed that the message is legit. So I told my sister to be careful with car accident. But they seemed to not care about it so I was upset about it for some days.

After today's dinner, my sister brought up the topic again. They told me that they actually cared about my reminder, and they got so terrified that they avoided going out for days. After a few days, they went out with their girlfriend at night and the thing happened. When they were absolutely distracted due to the pain from a wound, a black van came out of no where and crossed the road with full speed while the green pedestrian sign is up. Fortunately, their girlfriend stopped them at the very last second or my sister probably gone lol.

After listening to their experience, I just remembered that at the day before yesterday, I heard Loki and my grandma told I no longer need to worry about my sister. But I had no idea of what happened to my sister until now? My sister heard this and told me that I should really consider starting a spiritual career instead of planning to work at the McDonald's lmao.

Also today I realized that I may actually be very good at manifesting. Yesterday my friend was talking about crystals with me and brought up ideas that I never heard of before, like telling me that crystal can be trained? However, we both have little ideas about crystals so we were not sure what's going on. Then, when I was walking to my grandpa's home to have dinner with him, I came across a second-hand book store today and guess what. I FOUND A THICK BOOK TALKING ABOUT ALL RANDOM TOPIC ABOUT CRYSTALS, INCLUDING HOW TO CHANNEL ENERGY INTO CRYSTAL AND TRAIN THEM? I told my friend about it and she told me that I must've attracted the book to my life. Now all I need is some actual money to buy some crystals lmao.

Besides the book, MY MUM BOUGHT ME A SNAKE NECKLACE? I was searching for a snake necklace recently because I wanted to buy some accessories with Loki vibe. But the necklaces I found in random boutiques were not my type so I just forgot about it. And now my mum just gifted me the perfect snake necklace. (Also she has a snake phobia so it's very surprising that she will buy me a snake necklace?) I will take a photo of the necklace in the future lol.

My power is just insane. Things just work. I really need to value my power more and clear the shitty thoughts out of my head, so I won't manifest some weird things into my life, since I am so fucking powerful now. Also I probably have to work on more spiritual stuff and learn more about it as I seems very talented in it? Thinking about this excites me and motivates me to improve myself. The glorious evolution shall continue and no one can stop me 😃👍🏻💯💯🦾🦾💙💙

Also here is a pic of the special chocolate! The special heart pattern is on the very right side of the package this time. And I swear I will improve the presentation of the print in the future. I plan to print him in a photo shop but the minimum order is like 10 photos so I have to gather more drawings to print. So he will stay like that for a while lol 🥴

[noxtivagus]

i didn't mean to ramble sm in tags, i meant to just say a bit but oh well i'll just continue n delete when i'm less busy 🥹

oh my god it's 9 am

[theglitterypages]

Haikyuu Boys As Your Boyfriend

******

Bokuto Koutaro

•He's a big baby

•He's the type of boyfriend to hug you all the time, he loves warmth and affection so please be generous enough to give him those.

•Clingy but not in an annoying way, you'll jusy feel like you have a boyfriend and at the same time, a son (LOL)

•Bokuto is the type of person who will always apologize first after arguments. Arguments will be very rare though, because when it comes to you he'll always listen.

•Kou is probably an insecure boyfriend, he thinks more men are much cooler than him that's why he's always working hard to improve himself.

•He's the type of boyfriend who will definitely avoid making you jealous, he'll limit his interactions with women because he doesn't like it when you're jealous, you're cute when you're being jealous but he's afraid that you might leave him.

•Loves kissing you

•He will always tell you how much he loves you.

•Your picture is his wallpaper and lockscreen.

•His IG, FB, Twitter or any other social media platforms is full of you, your pictures. messages for you and stuffs.

•Bokuto is your diary, he loves listening to your rants, it doesn't matter if you guys aren't together, just call him and he's always ready to listen.

•He's the type of boyfriend who will always brag about you, he's just so proud of everything you achieve. It doesn't matter how big or small the achievement is, he will celebrate it no matter what happen.

~°~°~°~°~°~°

“Baby Bear!” you opened your arms widely as you ran towards your boyfriend. Bokuto lifted you off the ground, he kissed the tip of your nose before putting you down. “I miss you, baby.” he told you as he let his hands rest on your hips.

“I miss you too, sorry if I don't have much time Kou.” you apologized and he just pulled you closer for a hug, “Shh it's fine. I know you're busy, but how's your tests?” he asked.

You looked at him with sad eyes and the poor baby panicked, not knowing what to do, “What? Did you fail? It's alright baby, I'm proud of you, I know how you worked hard for this.” he pressed his lips on yours with a smile, he cupped your face and let his forehead rest on yours before kissing you for another time, much longer than the first one.

“I almost got my exams perfect baby!”

“You scared me! But I know you can do it!” he laughed and showered kisses on your face as he keep on saying how much he loves you and that he's so proud of you.

“HEY, HEY, HEY! MY GIRLFRIEND IS THE PRETTIEST AND THE SMARTEST GIRLFRIEND EVER! SHE ACED HER EXAMS!”

~°~°~°~°~°~°

Kageyama Tobio

•Cold at the beginning of the relationship

•Kags is not yet used to physical contacts so don't expect much at first.

•But as the time passes by, he'll start wondering how it feels like to keep you in his arms for a long time so he will try and do it once when you two are studying in his house.

•Because Kags loves how warm and comfy it is to hug you, he'll start hugging you a lot (not in public though, he will be so shy)

•He's the type of boyfriend who'll fall asleep while watching movies (Forgive him, playing volleyball is hard)

•He wouldn't call you baby, babe or other endearments but he loves it when you give him one. His favorite endearment? LOVE

•Kags is a supportive boyfriend, he's the first one to cheer you up if you're sad.

•He's sharp as hell so he would always notice if you're not feeling well once he notice that he will do everything he can to make you smile or to make you feel better.

•Loves it when you keep on asking him to carry you.

•He loves the fact that you're shorter than him (Readers, if you're taller than Kags sorry😭)

•He would always walk you home.

•Sweetest thing he do for you? Taking care of your fingernails 💅🏻 he would definitely watch tutorials in applying nail polish. He also takes care of his fingernails so he wanted to do the same for you.

•When it comes to kisses it also take him some time to kiss you, he always wondered how it feels like to kiss you but he doesn't want to creep you out so he'll behave for quite some time.

°~°~°~°~°~°~°

“Tobio, you used the wrong method for this equation.” you called him out, Kageyama was quick to look at the problem that you're pointing out and his mouth gaped open as he realized his mistake. “Sorry, I'll do it again.” you giggled and showed him your homework, “Look at mine and compare it to yours, both methods are similar but they will have different answers so beware.” Kageyama started revising his answer while you continued studying for the another subject.

When he was done he looked at you just to see you so focused on what you're doing, you were pouting while answering your own homework and he couldn't help but stare at your pinkish lips.

You two have been dating for almost a year and you two haven't kissed because Kageyama is too shy to make the first move but right now he couldn't help but be tempted.

“Y/N, look at me.”

When you looked up at him, he immediately grabbed your nape and pressed his lips on yours. He was still unsure of how to do it but he did his best and boy, Kags is not too bad for a first timer.

When he pulled away you couldn't help but look at him completely dumbfounded. He will chuckle on your expression and will lean down to press his lips on yours for the second time.

“I love you.” he whispered.

~°~°~°~°~°~°~°

Kuro Tetsuro

•The type of boyfriend who acts like a Dad (no one can change my mind)

•Kuro will definitely keep on reminding you that eating vegetables is good for you.

•He will monitor your sleeping routine. He would even buy scented candles for you to help you sleep.

•He's so smart so expect him to help you in studying.

•Kuro is addicted to kisses, he will always do everything in his power to steal a kiss from you even if it's in front of his teammates.

•He will tease you a lot for being smaller than him but once you get pissed he'll stop and he will keep on bugging you until you finally agree to forgive him.

•He will always talk about you, in fact he never shuts up about you to the point that Kenma is asking you what kind of love spell did you put in Kuro. He'll politely ask you to decrease the effect of the ‘love spell’

•Kuro loves pinching your cheeks (it hurts so you will get mad) once you get mad he'll be showering kisses all over your face and will talk to you in a baby voice saying things like, “Oh look at baby YN looking so cute with red cheeks. Sorry baby, come here I'm gonna kiss the pain away.”

•What is the sweetest thing that Kuro did to you? He installed a period tracker app on his phone, so he can remember your cycle. If you're on your period, expect Kuro to be extra gentle. He won't tease you or anything, he will buy you snacks and he will always check up on your mood.

~°~°~°~°~°~°

“YN, the captain of volleyball club is looking for you.” says one of your classmates. You smiled at your classmate and nod but before you could stand up from your seat, Kuro is already in front of you, “How're you feeling? Do you want to go home? Internet says ginger tea is good for reducing nausea during period.” your eyes widened and you covered his mouth using your hands.

“You don't have to announce to everyone that I'm on my period Tetsu!” you whispered yell and he gently removed your hands from his mouth. “Okay, calm down. Sorry, I know that there's a whole lot scientific process going on inside you, I understand your outburst. I brought snacks for you.” he lifted the plastic bag on his left hand and smiled at you.

You were about to smile back at him but you realized something, “How did you know I'm on my period?” Kuro blinked for a few times before clearing his throat, “I saw the period tracker on your phone, I installed the same thing on mine so I can monitor your period. My Mom told me periods are uncomfortable and painful so I just want to do what I can for my dearest girlfriend.” your heart melted at that and you started crying, Kuro's eyes widened as he pulled you close to his chest.

“Shh, baby what did I do?”

“Nothing. It's just that...I love you so much.”

“Oh experts believe that the drop in estrogen and progesterone, which occurs after ovulation, triggers mood swings during or before your period.” Kuro whispered as he caress your back gently. You sniffed and hugged him tighter still crying because you just felt so loved. “These hormones reduce production of serotonin, a chemical neurotransmitter, it's natural to be emotional, baby.” you looked up at your boyfriend and when you saw how serious he was you just couldn't help but laugh.

“You're such a nerd. God, I love you.”

“I love you too.”

~°~°~°~°~°~°

[soulscar7]

The bad dreams won't stop again =[

Had the worst one tonight

You tried to move on so fast

That hurt so bad

To replace me as soon as you could

With whomever gave you any small type of attention

Instead of self healing and self improving like you had told me

Big Mistake

It ended up back firing on you

You ended up getting fatally sick

And Eventually you did come back and did tell me the whole truth right away

But still

seeing you with someone else

Made me realize

A sudden hard truth

That made me wake up sobbing

Yelling into your shirts

It's like you learned

how to genuinely love from me

But

Instead of fixing what you broke

And giving me the type of love I had always deserved

From you

You decided to give it someone new

But your karma followed you

You got sick

And THEN decided to come back

I loved you so much

i took you back

you did not live long =[

You left me alone again

That’s when I woke up crying

When you came back

You were so loving apologetic

humble and open

And seeing you like that

Resparked everything again

It made me

Open to fighting for us

Full force like never before

It's like I completely believed

You learned your lessons

And genuinely forgave you

And not only did you help heal me

I healed you

And in the process

Our love grew to new heights like never before

Things started to feel the same but way BETTER

We were supper happy again

And then you passed

If only you stayed and fixed what you broke 💔

we could’ve had the best life

I can say this with certainty

I would have ran away

Eventually my fam would have come around

After they say how Serious we were about fixing ourselves and and living happy successfull LOVING life’s

Bby it was real

And

it was magic …

🥀🌹🥀

[pokefanbri]

https://www.facebook.com/104057744428568/posts/156998459134496/?sfnsn=mo&d=n&vh=e

Fucking told him its a huge red flag if someone doesn't get rid of their apps. Multiple apps. Smh 😠 "oh yea i don't use them anymore" proceeds to use fb dating app" for real come on bro!

Some comments of the post:

"If you have to be checking up on your Partner then you shouldn't be with that person.. Idk how people have time for all this .. love yourself and know your worth.."

"If you're in a serious committed exclusive relationship you should not be on tinder. That's how I met my fiance and as soon as we said we are gf and bf and exclusive we both deleted it. Honestly if I was her I would have broken up with him too"

"a person also has a right to trust their gut feeling and check things out if something's not feeling right. Knowledge is power"

I've already discussed this but this news clip further validates my point of the topic, nothing more. I could call him out on hs bs further with detail, but I won't....yet, out of respect even though he probably doesn't deserve it. Til he reaches me & apologizes for everything he's done, i can say whatever tf I want & i could make a whole damn list.

Its the events of this what happened that started our downfall to begin with cuz i didn't trust him & he didn't even try to gain it back just left it as is when I could've turned my back right then & there, no apology either. Didnt apologize much actually, not even when i last saw him. But from then we spiraled & he got bored of me. I wasn't giving him what he wanted in whatever way & he wanted to find more. Closed himself off from the beginning & that created his boredom 😒

Would've had a blast together like a normal fucking couple if he was less closed off, & wouldn't have felt the need to do shit behind my back.

I'll stop talking about it for now, I have the anger & urge to keep going but I wont...actually no Screw it im pissed 😡 but ill keep it light. Its just not fair, I did so much for him but I was disrespected in different aspects of the whole relationship. Fuck! I've talked about the positives alot cuz i do love him..but the negatives are such bs too.

I want a good ass sincere apology for all of it so I can forgive him & move on, ive already apologized myself even though I dont think I should have to 😒. Didnt even give me a straight answer for the breakup, it was always a different excuse when I know he just wanted to pursue other women without me around im not fucking stupid. His own toxicity was too much even for himself & I was in the line of fire, to where i was the toxic one? No fuck that its unacceptable, he always lied when it came to covering his own ass.

For all i know he's watching me squirm & taking pleasure in all the pain I'm going through over him cuz he likes the attention. But no I actually don't think so on that one he's still good & ill give him credit where its due. But I gave him all the attention he wanted/needed & still wanted more from someone else. Really dude fucking really!?

Man up & own up to your mistakes, speak to me where I can actually hear ur voice speaking back to me with sincerity. We'll apologize together. Yea ull be pissed about this, but after u get over it & calm down. Give in & call me, granted when ur ready, & open up for once in your damn reserved life. Itll help us both with more closure & may even take a weight off our shoulders if we just talk it out, no arguing...since we're done there's no point anyway..a friendly non judgment zone cuz idc, i won't think of u any less.

U confused me during & especially after the relationship cuz i didnt know who u really were, i know the good cuz that's what u allowed me to see, ive accepted the bad that I knew already & from what ive learned...i accepted u regardless.

I always forgave u & not cuz im passive, cuz forgiveness is what the Bible teaches.. ive forgiven u & myself the best i could especially with the last things ive showed u, (accept this part cuz im pissed rn & standing up for myself, ill delete eventually maybe if u ask cuz nobody wants to be seen any less of a person. but I can make it alot worse, calling me the mistake was the worst thing u ever said to me & pointing out your faults so u can be better throughout the relationship was my only toxicity to u) we actually never really fought except the 1 time, just argued a tiny bit rarely about little things.

Ive tried using every ounce of my courage to show u how much im sorry for any wrong ive done. but its up to u now to make things right. U know me, ive always said that u can talk to me about anything. I want to be able to trust again & move on whilst staying friends. What else do u have to lose, might even have a great heart to heart convo dude to dudet

Everything ive ever said up to this point lies all my Questions. But here's most of the list, we both were equally in control of the relationship. Maybe u didn't want me to? But doing everything I had to for myself & the household, what u & ur parents wanted of me & just me being me cuz i had to, u had your own part to play & did provide...but did u actually not want me to cater to u if it were a sign u were lazy or something? Like did u not feel worthy of me? What is it u think is my "addicting personality" that isn't fixable on the surface? What is it really that u didnt like about me? This is why i don't have closure, u left me like this, confused as well as wanting more since u held back so much. Was that on purpose to give me even more false hope & want me to pine over u? Did u ever or do u still, love me at all? What did u want from me & out of the relationship, what was the purpose of it from ur perspective & why do u think i couldn't give that to u? What did i lack that u felt compelled to not tell me so I could improve & vise versa so we both could improve? Why wouldn't u allow me to help u become a better man when (I shouldnt have to btw), its exactly what u wanted but maybe didnt see it? Do u realize your own faults even as u do them? Lol. Like i genuinely want to know as much as the good ive seen, cuz to be better the more open of a person u are the more u understand yourself too.

Unless claiming u want to be a better man is part of ur alluring charm in love bombing process to land a caring girl on purpose lol...god I hope not, that would just mean u rinse & repeat like a for real narcissist 🤔 seriously tho look into that im not even kidding, im asking cuz i care. Im pissed now but 1 thing is that im trying to not put ur behavior against u cuz maybe u can't help it, its just the way u are, all ive seen & experienced points to maybe 50% of u lol. Ive always suspected narcissism, a real psych problem that might be worth looking into. But yea 1 of the reasons especially why im so forgiving & trying not to put it against u, why i still care despite u being a dick lol. I chose to look past it, all the time & up to now cuz I understand what its like to have psychological ailments. The worst part about it is most dont realize it, so i encourage u to do some research & self reflection & admitting it to urself are the 1st steps. Okay? There's different kinds & levels to being 1 too, i found that fascinating. bryan is definitely a different type, ur more lighter than that...definitely not the worst which is the physical harm type. Trust me its worth finding out more about yourself, just dont use it to ur advantage in a bad way but i trust u to do right & grow. Not sure a discarded supply (ie me) has ever tried telling a narcy what they might be for the benefit of their own self awareness 🤔,idk if its ever been done, but theres a 1st for everything? U can find alot on it in quora digest alone but Google is also ur friend.

You always were worth every effort of mine to help u in any way to be happy, & i was most happy when u were. U mean alot to me still, its the effect u had on me, I was under ur spell lol its hard to rid myself of it still, not sure when it'll pass. I chose to see it as a gift rather than a curse, that ur effect on me is still so strong when I shouldn't give a damn. If u really are a narcy, then I understand & don't put alot against u cuz its just the way u are & i need to accept it, but if it somehow helps u to help yourself cuz of it, then whats the harm? But, even in doing this or having my socials public for u...maybe just feeds into what u want...i still dont care, I want u to see how bad or good im doing without u in my life, so u know im okay at least. U promised friendship, least I can do is allow u to keep tabs on me too we spoke of, on my end of things.

The 18th of June was the last time i saw u. It'll soon be a month ago in about a week & a 1/2 & your birthday would mark 2 months. Cant believe we couldn't even last through to that 😔

Mark my words playa I will be contacting u on that day lol. Can't ghost your homie forever sweetie

[hawaiian-has-moved]

https://www.instagram.com/p/B9CaJQDHwI8/?igshid=6ek9zdk4jnsg

Okay, since this was also referenced apparently in the information I was told, allow me to put you in my shoes at this time. This was back in February. I had just decided to say I "kinned" Who I am now, Beetlejuice, and this is from my first few drawings. I had just entered the fandom. I only recently. Maybe June? Figured out how bad the shipping was of Lyds and I. So I drew this thinking it would be cool to put my new favorite musical into the style of the cartoon that I grew up on. And also man this art sucks I've improved so much. I literally just wanted to draw the cartoon style because it was home room hour in my old high school. I also showed the picture of Lydia looking obviously uncomfortable next to it. I EVEN MADE HER LOOK UNCOMFY IN THE DRAWING. HHH-- also since this was when I had first gotten into the fandom, the wedding scene had yet to have given me horrible break downs. Also.... I don't know if I had even seen the musical bootleg yet I'm realizing while I type this.

But, since the Beetleb*bes think me being Beetlejuice would automatically make me be on their side, allow me to give you more insight on my life. I have to look away when I put on the Bootleg to go to bed at night. My mind gets loud and I can't sleep if I don't play my favorite thing at the time in my life I like something. I have texted my friend who kins Lydia many times over break downs. I apologize to her so much because of the guilt. I know it's wrong. I've moved past it to stop people from being p*dos. Even though I did it out of a green card thing. Green card meaning Lydia was my ticket out of being dead. I grew the fuck up and learned my mistake. What's your excuse?

Also there is research on taking on a fictional character's pain. It relates to human empathy I've already heard the whole whiny bitch saying I cannot take on a fictional character's trauma. You're gonna be using already fired bullets. They won't work this time. They didn't really work last time anyway.

Guess I'm a closeted Beetleb*bes shipper because of old art I drew me and Lydia hugging. F in the chat boys, I've been calling myself out this whole time.

But seriously. I'm a minor and I actively speak out about beetleb*bes being p*dophilia. Twisting the perspective of my new and old art isn't gonna make me a closeted shipper, if that's even a thing. Y'all fucking good???? I mean you're p*dophiles, so no, but you need so much help. Christ.