#that was ALL aq baby and everyone needs to respect her

[multeasers]

people focus so little on aq when it comes to yi city as if she was not witness to the entire reason the arc occurs within the story to begin with

[silverbastardgoldenfool]

Realm of the Quarantine Reread End-of-Book Questionnaire: Assassin’s Quest

Any differences between your first/previous reading experience and this one?

Keep in mind I’m writing this months after finishing the book lol (it’s mental illness innit). I have LOTS of notes to go off but yeah, things aren’t as fresh in my mind overall. With that said the biggest difference I can think of between my first and second experience with AQ is my feelings towards Kettricken. I think the first time around reading you know that Fitz is an unreliable narrator but you are still limited by his viewpoint so you can get a bit trapped seeing things the way he does. For this reason, I think I pretty much just forgave Kettricken when he did on my first read, whereas on this read I was like……. Waiting for her to actually apologise and show some sympathy towards Fitz and it just…. Never happened.

Like, don’t get me wrong, I still love Kettricken as a character and I fully recognise that she has been traumatised. I don’t expect her to be nice or act rationally, and in the case of being willing to take Nettle for the crown… It’s cold but she’s doing what she feels she has to. My issue is - do what you have to, but don’t expect Fitz to understand or forgive you (same with Starling). But I think what bothered me the most was how Kettricken would constantly confide in Fitz and break down to him and he was always there to let her do so, yet she NEVER gives Fitz the chance to do the same. The one time he does “open up” in a sense is when she forces him to air out his traumas in front of everyone, and she didn’t show him any sympathy for what he’d been through then or later. She has been through hell, absolutely, but while her plight may not have been any better than Fitz’s it certainly wasn’t any worse. She pretty much had two modes in this book: completely cold or a crying wreck - but she was only ever crying for herself. She lets Fitz console her but she never consoles him. Again, this is a result of her own trauma and I don’t expect her to act any differently, but it just reaffirmed for me that while she and Fitz care for each other deeply it is not an equal relationship. Fitz feels an obligation to serve her and she - knowingly or not - takes advantage of that. Like, after realising that this is their dynamic it is so obvious that the same is true in Royal Assassin as well, and it will be interesting to see how it changes (or doesn’t) in Tawny Man as I don’t remember it well enough to say.

Must reiterate: Kettricken is still a great character and I still have a lot of respect for her, unfortunately she just falls into the overfull camp of people who love Fitz but have an unhealthy power dynamic with him.

The other big difference I noticed was that the Verity stuff just wasn’t as devastating this time. Not because it was any less sad but it just didn’t tear out my heart like it did the first time. That’s not a fault with the writing at all, I think it’s just the fact that, knowing what would happen to Verity and that we wouldn’t see the real Verity again, I kind of already let go of him at the end of Royal Assassin.

Something you can’t believe you forgot

I guess more of a misinterpretation/wishful thinking but like, realising that there is no passage explicitly stating that Fitz and the Fool were actually spooning in the mountains murdered me and spat on my corpse.

Oh also!!! Fitz yeeting himself out the window at Tradeford castle jskaskjf

Favourite character introduction moments/scenes

I love Kettle in general and the way we’re introduced to her as a cranky old lady sets her up perfectly

Favourite character arcs

Man they’re all so fucking sad lol but I guess the Fool? He goes from thinking Fitz is dead and his purpose failed to reuniting with Fitz, their relationship growing into something really real for the first time, and actually completing his mission - at least for now lol. This book is really the first time you get to see the Fool be properly vulnerable. Even when he was getting beaten up by Regal’s guards he always had his veneer of snark and superiority to hide behind - and I doubt when he went through his sicknesses at Buckkeep he would have revealed his weakness to anyone in order to be helped. But in the mountains he lets so much of that facade of the King’s Fool fall away - at least when it’s just him and Fitz. When he and Fitz meet again he lets Fitz see his grief and pain and hopelessness and joy as the Fool looks after Fitz, and then later when it’s the Fool who needs looking after he lets Fitz look after him. When was the last time the Fool had anyone really care for him like that, ya know? Had someone protect him purely out of love? Ouch dude!!!!

Also he gets to kiss Fitz at the end so good for him!!!!!!!!!! Be gay ride dragons!!

Favourite quote/s

“I would kill Regal. It only seemed fair. He had killed me first.”

“I had looked into the heart of my enemy. I still could not comprehend him.”

“The more I drank, the less tolerable my situation seemed. And the more intolerable I became to my friends.”

“I had never thought to be disdained by a tree.”

“The Fool, the Fool, only the Fool. I sought for him. I almost found him. Oh, he was passing strange, and surpassing strange. He darted and eluded me, like a bright gold carp in a weedy pool, like the motes that dance before one’s eyes after being dazzled by the sun. As well to clutch at the moon’s reflection in a still midnight pond as to seek a grip on that bright mind. I knew his beauty and his power in the briefest flashes of insight. In a moment I understood and marvelled at all that he was, and in the next I had forgotten that understanding.”

“When you can either laugh or cry, you might as well laugh.” - the Fool

Favourite relationships

Fitzandthefoolfitzandthefoolfitzandthefoolbahslbghabfhalgngjba 

Also fitz and nighteyes (speaking of which, Nighteyes’ arc in this book is also fascinating and surprisingly complex) and Fitz/Nighteyes/Fool mwah magnifico chef’s kiss

Favourite setting

Kelsingra baybeyyy. I remember the first time reading this having no fucking clue what was happening in that chapter but I guess it was the gay agenda all along

Favourite chapter

It’s gotta be the chapter where Fitz and the Fool reunite, right? Catch me just gradually losing my grip on reality with every lingering stare 

Most loved character

Foooooooooool

Most hated character

Ya know, for a minute I was actually wondering if I would like Starling this time round but yeah no lol. She was actually okay for a while but as soon as she sold Fitz/Nettle out she became The Worst, just as I remembered her. It’s not even because she betrays Fitz but because, like Kettricken, she expects Fitz to forgive her for it, to the point of running to tattle to the queen because Fitz isn’t giving her enough attention (I’m also not impressed with Kettricken for actually getting involved instead of just telling her to grow up). Not to mention her constantly misgendering/gendering (??) the Fool or just assuming the Fool’s gender and loudly fucking proclaiming it to everybody is just truly fucking disgusting. Like I cannot even explain how furious I was reading her incessantly using she/her pronouns for the Fool despite no confirmation that her theory is right or that the Fool is comfortable with this and despite EVERYONE ELSE using he/him pronouns. God I’m mad now lol. She just acts like a spoilt brat and it makes my blood boil. But that’s probably because I have known many people like this so… Good character writing lol congrats

Raise your hand if you’ve been personally victimised by Robin Hobb (most heartbreaking and/or visceral moments)

The whole first chapter/s are just so heavy and carry on that gut wrenching feeling from the end of Royal Assassin. Fitz just has no real desire to live and watching him systematically severing the last few ties he has to his human life is just so sad.

Even though I wasn’t as attached to Verity this time, his goodbye to Fitz still made me cry

As did Fitz giving Kettle her skill back

Verity using Fitz’s body to have sex with Kettricken really got to me this time, mostly because I either didn’t notice the first time or had forgotten just how much it affects Fitz. It’s no wonder he doesn’t want to acknowledge Dutiful as his son when the event that brought that fact into being was so fucked up and traumatic. It’s really upsetting.

Burrich saying he almost took Fitz to Chivalry and he should have never let the Farseers take Fitz just …… breaks my heart. Just seeing Burrich so raw like that in general is so unusual it really takes you aback.

Details, observations, spoilery notes made with the benefit of the full picture

Strap in lads this part is lonnnngggggggg

Is it bad to immediately want to cry just from seeing “Sandsedge” on the map and thinking of Sandsedge brandy

I never really thought about how poor Hap didn’t get the real Fitz all those years and how their relationship could have been if Fitz hadn’t been partially forged

Pls I have no idea why but to picture someone as emotionally repressed as Fitz actually sitting down and writing about his life makes me want to fucking cryyyyeeeee

Fitz in the prologue talks about needing a purpose as something to distract himself from sinking [into his chronic pain, mental illness and addiction] and boy howdy if that ain’t relatable. As someone with mental illness and chronic pain Fitz is just painfully relatable way too often.

“I have never forgiven myself the triumph I ceded him when I took poison and died.” Fitz :(((( my guy :((((((( forgive yourself for surviving however you could baby!!!!!

This book mentions Bingtown providing slaves to Chalced

It’s so funny to me when people expect Fitz to have social skills as if he didn’t literally live as a fucking wolf for weeks at a time. It’s a miracle he bloody speaks

The state Fitz is in at the beginning of this book was literally Burrich’s greatest fear for him, yet Burrich doesn’t just say I told you so and leave. He stays, is patient and even optimistic.

“He (Burrich) is not bigger than I.” Why does this feel so wrong lol??? I just can’t picture Fitz as bigger than Burrich

“When you were younger and not supposed to go into taverns without me…” So it’s fine if the child goes into taverns and gets drunk as long as you’re also there. Got it, Burrich.

Fitz calling Chade “the grey one” wow get rekd old man river

Seeing Chade and Burrich interact is so bizarre

Fitz is still having seizures at the beginning of this book! I had forgotten that

God okay so idk if I can articulate this point super well but the whole thing of Fitz going through this extensive abuse and then essentially becoming an animal feels like a metaphor for the way your brain’s “higher” needs and functions just shut off sometimes under certain levels of stress. Like in order to cope with the trauma you don’t think about concepts, or long-term goals, or other people. You just take care of your basic needs - food, sleep, shelter, water - long enough that you start to feel safe and secure again, at which point your brain can open up a bit more and allow you to really think again; to want again, to plan again etc. Like obviously literally becoming an animal is a heightened version of reality, but the functionality of it is the same; our wounds and our fear stop us from fully embodying ourselves.

Burrich be like, Fitz was getting way too dependent on drugs before all this so let’s steer clear of those. :) LET’S GET HIM ABSOLUTELY SHITFACED INSTEAD

I  love how Fitz has his own unique relationship with Lacey and she’s not just Patience’s servant in his mind

Fitz talking about how even his memories from before his time in the dungeons are soiled by his trauma :( baby boy

Dude it’s so rich Chade lecturing Fitz about not making a life for himself, having friends or just chilling out like???? WHO TRAINED HIM TO BE AN ASSASSIN CHADE?? Like I get your point but what the hell kind of life did you think he was gonna have? Who ever took the time to teach him the importance of making connections with people for their own sake, and when would he have ever had the time anyway? I think Chade himself doesn’t actually know what he expects from Fitz.

Fitz saying he’s bad at making decisions because he’s never actually been allowed to make any is literally a point I’ve made lol. This is what happens when you teach teenagers how to murder in lieu of any basic life skills.

Burrich + Chiv were luv at first sight. No I will not elaborate.

“We kept you a boy, looked after you too much.” Huh??????? Fitz was never fucking sheltered lol. He didn’t have autonomy. There’s a difference.

I’m so fucking glad Fitz hugged Burrich before he left and that they actually left off on okay-ish terms. I didn’t remember that and it vaguely dulls the blow of knowing we don’t see Burrich again til Fool’s Fate (and that he thinks Fitz is dead the entire time between now and then).

“If I shaved my hair back from my brow” bitch disgusting

“Honey was the older of the two women. Perhaps my age.” jskfjnajgbl my guy those aren’t women then those are children!!!!!! U freak

I was wondering for ages why Fitz doesn’t mention the Fool like literally at all bc that’s so unusual right? Even in Assassin’s Apprentice he thinks of him when he goes to Moonseye and just in general the Fool usually enters Fitz’s thoughts pretty frequently. So why now, when Fitz doesn’t even know if the Fool is okay, is he just not thinking about him? And then I realised that that is exactly why. Because the only two people from his old life he doesn’t think about are the two people whose fates he knows nothing of: Kettricken and the Fool. So he can let his mind wander to think what Patience and Lacey might be up to at Buckkeep, or who Molly is with or whatever, because he knows they are all safe. But in such a fragile state I don’t think he can bring himself to really wonder whether Kettricken and the Fool made it to their destination - he probably doesn’t really believe they could have, and that is far too painful a road to go down when you are trying not to think at all.

I know the first act of this book is slow and that bothers some people, but I think it is so necessary, not only for Fitz’s arc but also because it really demonstrates just how severe the situation has gotten with the red ships and forged ones AND it shows just how destructive a king Regal is. Without this perspective it would probably be much harder to buy that the extreme measures taken at the end of the book are really worth the sacrifice.

Fitz is Demisexual, Exhibit A: when Honey is coming onto him, all he can think about is Molly.

Fitz is so scared of the Forged ones :( his trauma affects everything. He has no faith in himself and less heart for the violence than ever.

Speaking of trauma metaphors: the way Fitz tends to drift off into the wit or Skill after a traumatic experience is… pretty much just dissociation but magique

I forgot that witted folk can apparently communicate with each other mentally, not just with animals

“Her head was the size of a bushel basket.” Ah, yes, a bushel basket, a thing whose size we are all intimately familiar with.

Fitz finally finds others like him and even then he is not fully accepted. Told he is doing the wit wrong. Othered by the Others. It’s the queer experience innit.

Also forgot that apparently the forged are attracted to the wit as well as the Skill?

“I wondered if I had as many wolf mannerisms as they had halk and bear.” Yeah no probably not you only bloody LIVED as a wolf, Fitz.

Okay I know it doesn’t need saying but Patience is just so fucking cool!!!!!

Jesus fucking christ, Fitz skilling out to Molly when he knows Will knows he’s alive and is looking for him is just… so dumb. So so dumb. I know he’s just fixating on her because he’s miserable and she’s like this unsullied thing he had before everything went wrong but holy moly is it frustrating 

Not to mention he doesn’t connect the dots between the fact that Burrich went to “help a friend” and every time he reaches out for Molly he sees Burrich sajkdbshkhja dude

Nighteyes leaving just goes to show that Fitz cannot rely solely on Nighteyes for companionship. No matter how innately the same they are they are equally as innately different. Fitz needs Nighteyes but he shouldn’t have JUST Nighteyes (which is why he, Nighteyes and the Fool are the holy trinity). When Nighteyes leaves, Fitz is in way too fragile a state to be left alone, but Nighteyes cannot think of the future or what might happen. All he knows is he’ll be back at some point and that’s all that matters.

“My anger fed my competence” whatever you need to tell yourself sweetie

I think I had blocked out the fact the Regal was keeping animals trapped in filthy cages so they could ravage people in the king’s circle uggggghhhhhhhhh I hate him

Fitz is down on himself saying that without Shrewd’s largesse, Chade’s information and Verity’s protection his idea of himself has been stripped away and that he’s not actually competent etc. but like. This is an extreme situation!! You’re literally alone in the wilderness with nothing and no one!! Who would thrive in this situation? And nobody gets by without help anyway! The people in our lives do define us to an extent. You don’t have to be able to stand 100% on your own at all times with zero resources to be considered capable. It’s human to depend on others. Yes I am chiding myself as much as Fitz here :))))

Burrich’s earring is the repressed gay earring. No I will not elaborate.

Fitz refusing to sell Burrich’s earring is frustrating yet something I would 100% do lol

Direct from my notes: Celery hiding out in caves?? Bad bitch

“I felt I was within the flames looking deeply into the Fool’s eyes” um okay gay

It’s actually surprising that Fitz admits he would not have gone after Molly even if he had known she was pregnant when she left. On one hand so self aware yet this doesn’t stop him from completely idealising their relationship.

And then you have Molly who says he was supposed to come after her “so she could forgive him”, that he was supposed to be the one to light the candles for her childbirth etc. The fact that she in any way thought he was mature enough to be a father just shows how little they really knew each other.

Burrich treating Molly like a horse while delivering Nettle is way funnier than it has a right to be jskakjasd makes me think of Dwight treating Phyllis’ back injury in The Office lol

The first thing Burrich notices about Nettle is that she has Chivalry’s brow are you fucking kidding me. Gay!

Fitz is Demisexual, Exhibit B: He had no interest in Tassin whatsoever until she literally started kissing him. At this point his body reacted, which is normal, but as soon as he got a second to actually think about it he stopped, because for him it would not be satisfying to sleep with someone he didn’t have feelings for.

“It seemed to take years for the dried beans and lentils to soften.�� Okay mood

I love how Fitz just assumes Molly will take him back. “I have a woman and child awaiting me.” Says who bitch?

Small ferret? More like big legend

Ya know, we give Fitz so much shit but honestly with so much physical, mental and emotional stress on this journey how can we expect his mental faculties to be at 100%? I wouldn’t be making good decisions either, in fact I would be long dead.

Starling telling Nik that the earring once belonged to Chivalry is truly a smooth brain move

“Do not fear, little brother, I am here to take care of you again.” Words can’t explain how much I love Nighteyes and how often his dialogue makes me smile :’)

It’s so cute how Nighteyes is worried about Molly and Nettle until he knows that Burrich is taking care of them

It’s really interesting when Fitz claims “I’d rather be with Molly even if it meant rocking a crying baby in the middle of the night” because, well, he’s literally made other claims to the contrary, saying he wouldn’t have gone with her even if he’d known she was pregnant. Because at the end of the day as much as Fitz is compelled by others to do work for the greater good, I think deep down a lot of the time it is what he would do anyway. Like I really don’t think he could actually enjoy being with Molly knowing that the world is burning down around them. He would want to get out there and help somehow; not only to secure their own future but to reduce other people’s suffering as well. He’s an empathetic boy even though he’d like to be selfish.

Every time Fitz calls Molly his wife I lose ten years off my life

Again, I understand why he’s thinking like this, but Fitz’s ownership of Molly is just so uncomfortable. The fact that he can’t imagine her not having a place ready and waiting for him in her life when he returns just illustrates that she is not a fully realised person to him. She is just a comforting idea.

Oh yes, it was definitely Starling’s “pillowtalk” that got you captured and not the fact that you fit the exact description of the witted bastard right down to having Chivalry’s earring and a whole ass wolf

Somehow forgot that Jhaampe is basically a city of tents with only a few permanent buildings and people constantly coming and going

Fitz’s first words to the Fool are “I’ve come to you.” I’m gonna fucking die

Literally every single word from the moment Fitz realises it’s the Fool and starts describing him is a full body assault and personal attack I am seeking reparations

God the tenderness, the angst, the relief……… shall i pass away

“I doubted he was much taller, but his body was no longer a child’s.” My dude this is a gay awakening if I ever saw one

Fitz be like *spends 87 pages describing the Fool in painstaking detail* anyway I love being a heterosexual male

I’ve heard ppl cite Fitz’s descriptions of Kettricken as evidence of a crush (hard disagree) but literally nothingggggg even comes close to the way he describes the Fool. Not just this once but over and over again it’s insane.

“Talk fell off between us. The bottle of brandy was empty. We were reduced to silence, staring at one another drunkenly.” skjakfnajghajgnaLNGJ is it gay to silently gaze into thine homie’s eyes

The Fool protecting Fitz from everyone - especially Starling - in Jhaampe is often hilarious and always heartwarming

Realising Fitz was skinny enough for the Fool to lift on his own ahhh no wonder he said the famous “When I recall how beautiful you were” line, Fitz is a total wreck

I love that the Fool actually gives Chade shit for his plan to take Nettle. I love him.

“Too few folk cared for me. I could not hate a single one of them.” Oh, Fitz :(

I always wonder how the Fool really feels about Molly. Is he jealous? Does he compare himself to this woman Fitz idolises and he doesn’t know? Does he know that Fitz is barking up the wrong tree or is he stuck thinking Molly must really be Fitz’s soulmate since he won’t shut up about how much he loves her and can’t wait to get back to her? He just never really lets on how it makes him feel when Fitz has relationships with women. We know Fitz gets jealous of the Fool (for litch rally like no reason lol), so with the Fool being much more honest with himself/in general about his love for Fitz and having much more legitimate reason to be jealous, is he? Or is it just something he’s made his peace with, that these women give Fitz something that he cannot? Is he okay with that cos he has to be or does he have a different, less monogamous view of love and relationships (he does have three parents after all). I dunnoooo dude I just have so many questions. Like obviously - OBVIOUSLY - if Fitz and the Fool didn’t have romantic feelings for each other before, there is no doubting that romantic feelings appeared the moment Fitz appeared in the Fool’s hut. Fitz won’t admit that but mere chapters later the Fool is talking about how he loves Fitz in every way so like. He knows. So how does he feel when Fitz is calling out for Molly in his sleep, or openly speaking of seeking her out when all this is over, and lying to the Fool to protect Molly and his daughter. Really makes u think!!!!

Fitz reuniting with Sooty and going to see her every day in Jhaampe is so cuuuute and made me so happy. Sooty is a good girl :’)

Fitz be like *leans against the table where the Fool is carving and watches his fingers at work like a true repressed gay*

Verity is literally so strong???? He submerged himself in skill and was able to pull himself back from the stream can u imagine? Go off king!

Bro I literally can’t with the Fool mentioning Jofron so casually and Fitz immediately thinking wow oh my god they’re definitely fucking oh my god the Fool has a girlfriend - Fitz sweetie calm down

I love how Fitz and the Fool just naturally walk together :))) and Nighteyes babysitting Kettle is so cute

Molly never once says that she misses Fitz. She says she always expected him to do the right thing, to come after her and not leave her alone with a child. But she doesn’t look back on their time together fondly or have much positive to say about him as a person. And all that is fair, but it’s also just… Not really the behaviour of someone who’s been separated from their soulmate. It’s more just someone who’s been left in a shitty position by someone they cared about but hardly knew.

Fitz asking the Fool what is between him and Starling when they’re literally just being civil is sooooo fucking funny. Not everyone finds the Fool as irresistible as you do, Fitz.

The Fool just casually finding a pretext to call Fitz the light of his life

Fitz telling Kettricken firmly that he will not travel if the Fool is ill is one of the only times he ever puts his foot down with her GEE I WONDER WHY

I’ve said it before I’ll say it again…… there really do be something about the way Fitz can’t meet the Fool’s eyes………. It’s not like they’re weird and colourless anymore like they used to be!!!

The Fool already talking about Clerres in this book!

Fitz and the Fool and Nighteyes playing in the stream is too fucking pure omg, it’s what they deserve

And then Starling has to bloody ruin it bc she’s homophobique

But seriously, Fitz actually lets go for the first time in ages and has a nice evening only for Starling to go tattling to Kettricken, and Kettricken having the gall to confront Fitz about it. And then Fitz solves the problem by saying he doesn’t disdain her when like!! He has every right to!!!! She sold him out, sold his daughter out. She never even apologised but instead has just been totally petty and self-righteous and stirring up trouble amongst the group. She hasn’t earned or even asked for his forgiveness. So fitting that she’s the one constantly judging Fitz for his relationship with Lord Golden in Tawny Man lol, she just cannot let Fitz and the Fool be the queer icons they are!!!

Verrrrrrrrrrry interesting that Fitz only “suddenly missed the human warmth and comfort” of Starling taking his arm or sleeping against him literally IMMEDIATELY after the plumbing and love confrontation with the Fool. I mean he has been doing all of those things with the Fool (sleeping together, walking arm in arm etc.) so it’s not about human touch at all, it’s about convincing himself that a WOMAN’S touch is somehow inherently different.

He does the same thing with Starling as with Kettricken. She technically apologises but it’s not sincere and that’s not why he forgives her. Same as Kettricken, she tells her sob story and he can’t hold onto his anger. It makes sense, but it’s just very toxic. It would be nice if at least one person would really recognise how much they’ve hurt Fitz and really, genuinely want to atone for it, or apologise without expecting forgiveness. The onus should not be on Fitz to forgive Starling but on Starling to grow up and not need Fitz to like her in order to remain civil and do what they have to. Also “I do not find your wit bond offensive” has the same energy as someone telling you out of nowhere like “It’s fine that you’re gay :)” like wow thank u?? lol

Fitz is Demisexual, Exhibit C: “I wanted her with a desperation that had nothing to do with love, and even, I believe, little to do with lust.”

“By his love he is betrayed, and his love betrayed also.” So fate agrees with me, Fitz and the Fool are in love? :)

Anytime the potential that Fitz might have to choose between Molly and Nighteyes I lose brain cells. That’s ur brother Fitz!!! It’s not even a choice!! How dare u

It’s just sooooo intentionally laid out for us in this book that Fitz’s relationship with Molly really wasn’t good or healthy and that his fixation on it is misguided, and I think that’s why I struggled sooooo hard with the ending of Fool’s Fate, because it kind of implied the exact opposite. I’m hoping on this reread I will pick up on it being laid out as a result of Fitz getting his memories/teen feelings back rather than it just feeling like a lowkey retcon, but I guess we’ll see lol

“I felt I was a bit in love with him, you know. That sort of lift to the heart.” the confirmation that the Fool KNOWS HOW IT FEELS TO BE IN LOVE sends me deep into the swamps goodbyeeeeeeeeeeee

“The one who loves him best will betray him most foully.” So fate agrees, the Fool loves Fitz best :)

“You do love me! … Before, it was words. I always feared it was born out of pity.” Godddddd Foooooooooool!!!!!!!!!!! 

Everything about Fitz, the Fool and Nighteyes meeting in the skill for the first time is just truly perfect iconic unparalleled.

Fitz’s love for Verity hurts my heart so much. Just think of the relationship they could have had if they weren’t stupid royals.

Kettle’s whole speech about Fitz and Molly… Just yes to every word.

Look I’m just gonna say it… The way Burrich reacts to Molly’s advances … like I know it’s probably not intentional but it just reads as very much fitting in with my headcanon that he is gay. As soon as she makes it clear she wants to sleep with him he like leaps across the room lol. I do believe he cares for her and loves her in his way, but it does feel mostly like he’ll just do whatever he needs to to care for her and the baby.  Sowwy

I wonder why the Fool wasn’t as affected by his giving up of memories to Girl-on-a-Dragon?? Or was he, and he just gets them back before we see him again in Tawny Man?

“Take my hurt that I never knew my father, take my hours of staring up at his portrait when the great hall was empty and I could do so alone.” um this is so fucking sad

It was the Fool who sent Starling to find Fitz after Verity uses his body and again I have to ask, wtf is going on in your mind, Fool!

Fitz is Demisexual, Exhibit D: Even once he actually sleeps with Starling he has no enthusiasm about it, he just kind of goes along with it, likely to prove to himself that he has really let go of his past/Molly. 

I always wonder why the Fool leaves now. Is it because he thinks their work is done and doesn’t want to risk messing things up by hanging around his catalyst like at the end of Tawny Man? Does he intend to come back and find Fitz again but get sidetracked by a lead or a new dream? Like it’s just weird because at first he was like “Prophet and Catalyst stick together” and was gonna stay with Fitz - or was that just an excuse because he was obsessed with Girl-on-a-Dragon? Fool u spicy lil enigma

It’s blood and the wit that wakes the stone dragons so does that mean King Wisdom was witted? Or is that obvious lol

Fitz isn’t even bothered by the Fool’s kiss, just shocked. I am looking.

Patience shouting orders at Verity-as-Dragon is beautiful ksjjk

Of courrrrrssse Burrich names his first son Chivalry

In the epilogue, the Fool is the only one Fitz actually says he misses. Exquisite.

I know some people have an issue with Regal’s death but personally I find it delicious

Okay that’s all (I say as if this wasn’t 139841989 pages long). See y’all in 92 years when my sister finally starts reading Liveship!

[artificialqueens]

papillionlisse 1/? [gigi x nicky / jan x jackie] - pinkgrapefruit

[ chapter one ]

Fast forward to the middle of sixth year and she’s signing up for the Beauxbaton exchange program, egged on by Jan who’s bouncing on her toes, the tote bag slung over her shoulder almost overflowing as Crystal explains the significance of her One Direction stick’n’poke to Jackie who still only has a limited knowledge of muggle music but bless her, she’s trying.

[harry potter hogwarts/beauxbaton au]

A/N - hey! there was a prompt on aq that i was IN LOVE WITH because I’ve wanted to venture into my second favourite fanfic fandom for months but haven’t seen the need. but hey - this should be fun. Thanks to Meggie for betaing, this should be about 6 chapters but don’t hold me to that <3

*

Ever since she was seven, in the aftermath of one of the greatest wizarding wars in British history, Gigi has longed to go to Hogwarts. Her uncle (on her magical mother’s side) would tell her stories of his youth running through ever changing corridors - challenging ghosts and stealing food from the kitchens. Her mother would scoff, nose up high as Gigi and her father would lean into the fantastical tales. Her dad was a muggle but he was fascinated nonetheless, one of the few that would lean into the wizarding world as far as he could rather than run screaming. Their family had hidden during the war - Gigi’s mother a part of one of the highest orders of pure blood family that still accepted the marrying of muggles (and hadn’t affiliated themselves with Death Eaters) - and Gigi had been immersed in the Pure Blood culture for a few months. She was tended to by house elves and taught to fly on a broom by her grandpapa who regaled her with his time playing as keeper for Hufflepuff.

When she got her letter she cried. And then she sent a letter to her grandpapa with her old owl Fluffy and a chocolate frog.

She’d sat on that train, knees bouncing the cage that held her new tawny owl Snitch at a rate that had agitated the poor bird so much he was flapping at the top of the cage. A small girl with insane dark curls entered the carriage and immediately removed the cage from her legs.

“You doin’ okay there?” the girl asked with a peppy voice and wide eyes. “I’m Crystal.”

“I’m Gigi,” she responded quietly, overwhelmed with excitement. “Do you want a crisp?”

“Are they salt and vinegar?” Crystal asked and Gigi nodded. “Awesome! Yeah!”

It was the start of a very firm friendship.

*

Gigi and Crystal entered the great hall with mouths agape. They were funneled in by Hagrid, grouped together with the first years to be sorted and their eyes flitted between the ornate decorations and the hall full of students in black house robes - seated at long tables decorated with banners and flags of the houses; Gryffindor, Ravenclaw, Hufflepuff, and Slytherin.

“What do you want to be?” whispered Crystal eagerly as she vibrated next to Gigi.

“I don’t mind,” Gigi mused. “None of them are bad.”

“I want to be a Hufflepuff,” Crystal enthused and it made Gigi giggle at her new best friend.

“GOODE, GIGI,” Headmistress McGonagall called from the front of the hall and Gigi skittered up to the front of the room nervously, passing students both older and taller than she. She sat on the stool carefully as the Sorting Hat was placed onto her head. It wriggled uncomfortably for a few seconds, mumbling things Gigi couldn’t quite make out before screeching ‘SLYTHERIN’ at the top of its nonexistent lungs. The green table erupted into cheers as she ran to take a seat on the end, the badge on her uniform transforming into a snake in front of her eyes.

She sat patiently for a few moments as various other girls were called - a Mateo going to Gryffindor and a Liason going to Hufflepuff before Crystal’s name was called.

The young girl sat for only a second before the hat called Hufflepuff and the house cheered in triumph, Crystal giving Gigi a little wave before running to join the sunny yellows of her house.

Once everyone had been sorted, McGonagall tapped her glass to silence the room. “Welcome first years! As you may know,  since the Battle of Hogwarts we have taken house unity very seriously. This means that although you are governed by your house’s prefects, earn points for your house and play quidditch in your colours, you will live, work, and eat with whomever you choose. Aside from special occasions - you will function as a unit, not separate groups. Common rooms, while house specific, are open to everyone and your dorms could be anywhere so it’s important that you respect all house prefects because you don’t know whose rule you’ll live under. Be kind to one another - it matters more than you know, and let the feast begin!”

With a final flourish of her wand, the empty tables were full of platters and the once plain ceiling looked to be full of stars.

*

Gigi’s dorm ended up being in the old Hufflepuff quarters, ever filled with a glowing warmth. She was thrilled to find Crystal lounging on a bed when she entered, two more girls also already having claimed beds - Jan Sport and Jackie Cox. She’d discerned from conversation that Jan was a half-blood like herself and Jackie appeared to be a very clueless Canadian Pure-blood which only made Gigi chuckle as she thought of the confusion on two sides the girl would be facing.

As she lay in bed that night - the room a perfect temperature and the bedspread an emerald green, she’d never felt so at home.

*

Fast forward to the middle of sixth year and she’s signing up for the Beauxbaton exchange program, egged on by Jan who’s bouncing on her toes, the tote bag slung over her shoulder almost overflowing as Crystal explains the significance of her One Direction stick’n’poke to Jackie who still only has a limited knowledge of muggle music but bless her, she’s trying. Jan smiles to herself as she watches her girlfriend try to understand how the ink is staying under the skin. “C’mon Gigi, write quicker!” Jan whines, “I want to go get waffles before the guys eat them all.” Gigi stifles a laugh knowing that’s the only reason Jan got up before seven today before scribbling her signature at the bottom of the form and transfiguring it into a paper butterfly to be sent up to Headmistress McGonagall’s office without hassle.

They all enter the hall, finding four seats together on the end of an old Gryffindor table - the hall only really sticking to the tables on Quidditch game days and special feasts where house unity can be thrown out of the window and no one wants Slytherin to win another house cup (Gigi doesn’t blame them - she’s the captain and they’ve been damn fantastic these past few years).

Jan’s shovelling waffles into her mouth as Jackie mutters for her to breathe when McGonagal clears her throat and taps her glass bringing the hall to silence.

“As you all might have heard, the Sixth Year Beauxbaton Exchange starts after the holidays. For all who have not heard - today is the last day of sign up. Sixth years who choose to participate will be assigned a partner from Beauxbaton. The partner will come here for our summer term - partaking in their normal NEWT subjects and sharing dorms and generally experiencing life here at Hogwarts. They will take on their partner’s house for all house related activities and will not be eligible for quidditch teams before any of you ask.” She pauses, eyes directed towards Gigi with a smirk making the brunette blush in her seat. “Then, in the winter term our students will visit there - the same rules will apply - before all returning here for our famous Yule Ball just prior to Christmas. This is not a graded event but it will do well for anyone wanting international experience or those considering a mastery at Beauxbaton after their NEWTs. With that, it’s almost nine so you have a few more minutes to devour your eggs before I expect you all in your classes - promptly.” She ends with a smile and a wave indicating the hall can get back to its usual chatter and it does with some immediacy.

“Are you sure you don’t want to do it, Crys?” Gigi asks, pushing a final toast crust around her plate with her fork as the girl opposite her gets crumbs all over the transfiguration essay she’s frantically finishing.

Crystal looks up at Gigi with a raised eyebrow, her unruly curls falling over her face (although they’re quickly fixed back by Jackie who’s particularly proficient at beauty charms). “Baby, if I tried to speak French I’d insult them all.” Crystal chuckles. “I failed year six french, thank god I didn’t have to do high school.” Jan and Gigi chuckle in agreement as Jackie sticks her tongue out, insulting them all in french. She drops a kiss on Jan’s head before leaving for her Ancient Runes class.

“You both in transfiguration next?” Jan asks with mouth full of eggs. Gigi and Crystal nod - Gigi looking much more excited as it’s her favourite subject. Crystal sighs - she wants to be a healer so she’s got a full board of classes from Charms and Transfiguration, which she cannot do to save her life, and Potions and Herbology which are much more her speed. Needless to say she’s grateful for Gigi in spellwork classes.

Jan brushes a few lone crumbs off her robes, grabbing her Beatles themed tote bag and rushing off to Care of Magical Creatures, leaving Crystal and Gigi to walk to Transfiguration together.

“What do you think your girl will be like?” Crystal muses, a finger fiddling with one of her loose ringlets.

“I hope she’s nice…” Gigi replies as if she hasn’t put a lot of thought into it (she has but she’ll deny it to her grave).

“Yeah, and respectful. It takes a lot of respect not to throw a pillow at Janet and Jaqueline some nights,” Crystal jokes and Gigi snorts out a laugh as they arrive at the classroom.

“Alright bitch, are we hoping for an E?”

“If I exceed expectations I will be very happy,” Crystal agrees and they take their seats.

*

Gigi normally finds the Hogwarts Express relaxing. She’s usually soothed by the feeling of the old steam engine chugging away under her feet. Crystal stuffs as many pumpkin pasties as she can into her trunk and Jan spends the whole ride with her head in Jackie’s lap which would definitely be a hazard if the train happened to brake (it doesn’t, it’s a magic train, but it could).

She’s normally relaxed about now, but she’s going to meet her exchange partner and honestly she’s finding it very hard to be relaxed. Not to mention she has a very new cat (Quaffle) that is currently unimpressed with being in a train carriage and has found a home on Crystal’s lap, begging for attention.

“You doing okay there Gi?” Jackie asks, worried as always. “You’re looking a little pale.” This is a joke of course, Gigi’s pretty sure she’s never been more tanned than alabaster but if her reflection is anything to go by, she’s not looking particularly calm.

“Just nervous,” she admits, batting away the stick of Droobles Bubblegum Crystal tries to offer her - branching out from her usual snack trolley order.

“Big day!” Jan enthuses from her reclined position, Jackie’s fingers tangled in her hair.

“Big day,” Gigi repeats under her breath, trying to channel some of her roommate/best friend’s energy. “Big fucking day.”

*

“Honestly Crys I’m pretty sure you’re more excited than I am.” Gigi chuckles as they all walk up to the castle together, Jan holding the squirming cat carrier as she’s the only one not phased by the movements.

“If you think about it,” Crystal starts, adjusting her robes as she walks a way akin to a confused badger, “She’s kind of like a family pet. If you get her - we all kinda’ have her. Like a dog.”

Gigi and Jan burst out laughing while Jackie gives a snort that she stifles into an exasperated sigh. “I swear to god Crystal if you refer to the poor woman as a pet while she is here I will disown you.”

Crystal hums nonchalantly at the threat but all of their attention is drawn away by the faint sound of twinkling in the air. They look up out of instinct and coming out of the clouds is a giant, powder blue carriage drawn by Abraxans (large horses with wings). It floats as if weightless and the entire student body stops in awe just to watch it descend onto one of the large fields by Hagrid’s hut.

No doubt they’d all stare for much longer but Professor McGonagall calls from the entrance, requesting them to hurry and put their things away before dinner.

They all enter the dorm with a hubub and Gigi calls the bathroom first, forcing Jackie to charm her hair into one long brown braid that falls over her shoulder. She applies the minimal makeup she knows how to - feeling an urge to impress the girl she is yet to meet before being hurried out of the bathroom by Crystal who is insisting she needs the mirror to do something (none of them are quite sure what).

An additional bed has been added to the dorm between Gigi’s and Crystal’s. While Jan and Crystal’s beds have yellow covers and trimmings, Gigi’s is green and Jackie’s a deep blue - this new bed has a deep purple cover with delicate silver trimmings down the side and Jan appears to be examining it curiously as she braids her silver blonde hair into a messy french plait. They all bide their time, as they wait for Crystal, and once Jackie has rescued whatever hairstyle the dark haired girl was attempting, they head down to the hall.

Despite this being a start-of-term feast, the house restrictions have been lifted for the school so they all find themselves sat in their usual seats at the Gryffindor table, idly waiting for the process to begin. As far as Gigi knows, the Beauxbaton will sit on the same stool they all sat on as first years and the hat will call out the name of their partner - to get a feel for Hogwarts, or so Professor McGonagall said. Then Gigi will have to stand and the girl will join them at the table.

She plays footsie with Crystal under the table through McGonagall’s speech - too nervous to pay much attention (and knowing Jackie will let her know anything important) and then the sorting starts.

The room goes deathly silent except for the sound of the rain on the enchanted ceiling as the first girl is called up. Violet Chachki is paired with Pearl and Gigi finds herself glad as the girl seems intimidating - her dark hair a stark difference from the rest of the blonde, porcelain skinned, part veela girls.

The part-Veela doesn’t worry her. For one she’s not a desperate straight boy clamouring after a perfect French girl and two - she doesn’t really care but she does feel oddly drawn to the girls in blue and she takes a brief second to wonder what would happen if she did get a Veela more interested in women. A smile flits across her face and Jackie rubs a warm hand on her leg.

The next girl - Nicky Doll - is called. She’s blonde, like the rest, and lithe - gorgeous really - and even from where Gigi’s sat, she can tell her eyes are a pearlescent blue. She sits carefully on the stool - managing to make it look like a Vogue shoot rather than a school ceremony. The hat is placed on her head and it dwarfs her petite features - her button nose and her shining eyes and it makes her look almost childlike. Gigi is so focused on this she barely registers the way the hat screams ‘GIGI GOODE’. She’s sure she wouldn’t have if Jackie hadn’t jabbed her wand straight up into her ribs to jumpstart her again.

She stands inelegantly, smiling at the French girl who bounds towards her like Bambi but much more gracefully. It’s like she’s floating along the old cobble floors and then slides into the seat next to Gigi, breathless.

“Nicky Doll, enchanté,” she offers sweetly with her gloved hand outstretched. Gigi takes it gladly and is pleasantly surprised by how warm it is given the general coolness of the castle - even in April. Her shock must show on her face because Nicky gives a soft chuckle “Warming spell.” She shrugs.

“I’m Gigi Goode.” Gigi remembers to introduce herself. “This is Crystal.” The brunette waves jovially while her eyes stay fixed on the continuing ceremony. “Jan.” She waves too. “And Jackie.” Jackie turns for a split second to shake hands before she goes back to watching a girl named Brooke be paired with Vanessa Mateo - the feisty Gryffindor from their potions class.

“Do you know when there will be food?” Nicky asks rather brashly for her demeanor. “I’m starved.”

Gigi laughs softly. “Give it another five minutes and we’ll have a feast,” she jokes quietly and they turn their attention back to the end of McGonagall’s speech - Gigi unable to help getting caught on the feeling of a warm thigh pressed on her own.

*

Gigi doesn’t think to ask about the bedsheets until they’re getting ready for bed. Jan’s already tucked into Jackie’s bed in her girlfriend’s oversized Holyhead Harpies shirt attempting to read the astrology book that’s peaked the Persian’s fancy.

“I’m surprised you can read, Jan,” muses Crystal while cradling the, now much calmer cat, like a baby. “You’re such a cutie, Quaffle, aren’t you,” she coos at the kitty as Jan pounds the shade button they’d found in the Weasley’s joke shop on Diagon. The snake that comes out makes the cat squirm out of Crystal’s arms onto Nicky’s bed where the blonde picks it up gently. Out of nowhere it calms and curls up on her lap.

“He likes you,” Gigi states plainly and Nicky chuckles, running her fingers through the longhaired tabby’s fur,

“Most cats do I suppose.” Her hair is in loose blonde curls and she’s dressed in a satin blue babydoll which only makes Gigi self conscious about the loose sports bra and shorts she prefers. The dorms are always warm thanks to the old Hufflepuff wards so she’d rather go light than overheat.

Gigi settles herself in her bed, the green covers resting just under her grey bra. She bundles her hair up on top of her head and pulls out the glasses she only wears in the comfort of the dorms. “So tell us about yourself,” she asks as all the girls look to the purple bed. Everyone keeps their curtains open most nights so you can see round the curve of their dorm room through each of the poster beds.

Nicky hums as she thinks, tilting her head to the side in a way that makes her curls spill over her shoulder. “Well, in Beauxbaton I’m in Papillionlisse - and, uh consequently my colours are purple and silver. We are not like any of your houses. Ombrelune is probable to be Slytherin and I would say Bellefeuille is maybe Gryffindor but Papillionlisse is not. We are kind and artististic and idealistic at times.” She smiles softly as if remembering something nice and in the soft dorm lighting Gigi can see freckles on her cheeks.

“Oooh, we’ll have to see what houses we would be sometime!” Jan decides from where she has tucked herself under Jackie’s arm.

Nicky giggles and nods. “Absolutely Janet. Um what else? I do - what are yours called? NEWTS?” Crystal nods and she carries on. “Well I do astronomy, potions, transfiguration, charms, and divination.”

Gigi thinks for a second before she responds, brow furrowed as she mentally figures out logistics. “So you’ll be with me and Crys for transfiguration and charms - although Jackie comes to transfiguration too sometimes. We all do potions together and then astronomy you’ll be with Jackie and divination you’ll be with Jan.” She looks around to check that’s right even though she knows it is.

Between them they cover every subject with Jackie in arithmancy, ancient runes, astronomy, herbology, potions, history of magic, and transfiguration, Jan in care of magical creatures, potions, herbology, and divination, Crystal in potions, herbology, charms, and transfiguration, and Gigi in charms, transfiguration, potions, astronomy, and defence against the dark arts. Muggle studies is mandatory once a fortnight since the wizarding war and they all sit through it for the sake of their academic careers rather than for the joy of it.

“I have a feeling I shall enjoy it here,” Nicky contemplates as she moves Quaffle so that she can lay on her side under the covers.

“I hope so,” Gigi smiles. They fall asleep facing each other.

[fweeble]

Episode 7: The Rich Boy

So if my predictions are on track, everyone will want a friend available to hold their hand this episode, but especially next episode. This is your early warning detection system Fwee working just for you. Pick a calming friend.

*hysterical laughter* THE MUSIC. Shorter, my love, please. I die without oxygen.

Ibe popping out at the last second to take this snapshot is the cutest thing. Weh.

Shorter, no. Are you taking pictures of her. That’s rude. Also, what’s with this bizarrely off-model hands-and-arms action going on, Mappa???

That poor lady.

Please have some pity, Ash. He was in a very emotionally taxing custody battle over his son and now you are all heading to his ex-wife’s. And Jessica is to be feared and respected.

I’m awful and I’m laughing so hard at the fact that Max nearly hurling is what causes the car to careen away from the lady. Good job, Max. Stop Shorter from being skeevy.

*cries* Eiji and Ibe are so cute in this. My heart.

Holy shit, Jessica, your house is gorgeous. I want to live in a house like that. And in the LA area. 

Y’all are heartless. Poor Max. At least offer him a bottle of water. His poor nerves.

*screams* IT’S MICHAAAAAAEL.

My heart. Max’s happy face at seeing his son. Q vQ <3

THIS IS EXACTLY MY FEELINGS.

JESSICA PLEASE. GUNS ARE DANGEROUS AND YOUR SON IS NEAR YOUR TARGET.

Just gonna casually slide these panels in:

Truth in television: most child abductions are by family members (particularly parents if they are separated).

I’d hide behind the car too. Look more worried, Ash.

*cackles at Max’s face*

*even louder cackling*

I love Jessica.

Fair enough.

Max’s adopted kid and his biological kid: side by side.

They tactfully left this conversation out. = u= Poor Michael.

My heart. You’re such a good child, Michael.

ASH. WHY. LOOK AT IBE AND SHORTER’S FACES. 

Have I mentioned how much I love Jessica.

The phone book interruption is marginally better than asking for mustard. @ v@

Oh, Ash. My heart. Why the lighthearted music, this is actually super painful

*clutches chest* This is super rude. Q AQ

Apparently they don’t discuss Abraham with Jessica, huh.

Max, Jessica’s gonna knee you in sensitive bits if you keep that up.

*cries*

Usually I’d be blowing kisses at Mappa, but all I can think about is I want this house, I could have some dogs run free in the front yard.

Shorter, why do you walk like this. You’re gonna kill your back. 

*cries over their protective stances* Sweet children.

*high pitched distressed noises*

I always forget this line. Personally, I never found them very similar. Looks or otherwise.

*screams* STAY HIDDEN ALEXIS, STAY HIDDEEEEN.

They also totally cut out an additional scene in NY with Charlie and Jenkins.

I really love how they don’t bring up Ibe or Eiji, since they both, without a doubt, know that they’re in violation of their visas. Q uQ You’re good people, Charlie, Jenkins.

I LOVE JENKINS SHOWING OFF HIS DETECTIVE SKILLS. Q vQ <3

SHORTER WHY MUST YOU STAND AND WALK LIKE A YANKEE STRAIGHT OUTTA SOME 80′S MANGA. YOU’LL HAVE BACK PROBLEMS BEFORE YOU’RE 30.

*cries* I really do have a type when it comes to favorite characters. Yankees.

Eiji is so impressed. I miss the scene where Ibe and Max are the ones astounded. Good ol’ 80′s.

Criminal geniuses, Max please. Eiji isn’t one.

*cries over how much Ash trusts Shorter* I love these two so much.

GOOD INSTINCT!!!

VERY GOOD OBSERVATION, ASH!!! That’s why you’re the boss.

...of your own gang.

BULLSHIT. I’m clumsy as fuck. I’m like a bull in a china shop. *cries* I will never be called twinkle toes unless it’s an insult.

Bless you, Shorter, for being an inelegant asshole as well. 

Nooooooooooooooo. They cut so much ooooout. But, fair enough. More time for better things later!!!! (Please keep in my two favorite scenes, please!!!)

He had to meet some friends. *emotional*

I LOVE THIS SCENE SO MUCH. Sassy asshole Ash is always my favorite Ash. u vu <3 <3 <3

Eiji is basically Daphne. He finds all the good clues.

Which makes Ash Velma, since he puts those clues to good use. u vu

AWW LOOK AT THESE TWO. They’re gonna develop their own high five. Please give me a scene where Eiji and ash also have their own secret thing. Maybe a handshake that involves hip-checking. Please. 

Look at a certain someone about to spontaneously combust with envy. That’s totally the face of envy and not... outright confusion.

Holy shit, Prof Dawson. Still using XP! 

Nope. It truly isn’t. 

*whispers* Essentially, Nanner Fish is primarily shrooms and LSD.

Prof Dawson, who keeps notes like this. Please revise your notes. At least add commas. And work on formatting. 

*blows kisses at Mappa* Marry me.

This answers my giant question I’ve wondered about for years. Hong Kong, huh. No wonder they spell their last name with Lee. I’ve always wondered why a clan part of the Chinese mafia would use Lee instead of Li.

Hong Kong is one of the few places (besides Taiwan and Macau, I think?) that uses that variation. (ANWAYS, back to the Nanner Fish anime...)

Shorter. Please. Your back. Just take the phone from him, look at it, and return it.

Oh, my heart.

THIS IS NEW AND SO FUCKING RUDE. EXCUSE YOU. *crying* Shorter without his sunglasses. I’m crying. Nadiaaaaa.

*ugly bawling*

FUCK.

*screaming*

*uncontrollable sobbing*

Sonny... Q AQ

Fuck you.

TAKE YOUR HANDS OFF HIM.

(Don’t look at me. I’m fucking. Nooooo.) 

Ooooh, I like this change. Instead of switching between Max-and-Ibe and Max-and-Ash, it just starts with Ash and Max working on the Nanner Fish research together. Nice.

Ooooh, is this a callback to the vivisection password?

*noises* Griff.

*whispers* Papa Max. I don’t care what anyone says. I like to believe that Max guilt-adopted Ash as a son in his heart. He meant to think of Ash as a baby brother, but paternal instincts are strong.

Listen to Max, Ash. Please.

*distressed dying manatee noises*

*loud wounded hippo noises* Just leave me to die.

My heart... *lies drowning in endless sea of salt and tears*

They’re really trying to make him so much more sympathetic in the anime. He was a lot more aggressive and confrontational in the manga. A sample:

*cries* Max...

I tried so hard to get a nice picture, but it was panning so quickly every one of my gyazo shots were blurry. God. How much did this kill Shorter?

CMSKDLFJOIEWJFLDSKF. FUCK YOU.

*HIGH PITCHED SCREAMING* YOU ARE TOO GOOD, TOO PURE AND THE LEE CLAN TOO CORRUPT AND CRUEL. 

SHORTEEEER.

FUCK YOU WITH THE LARGEST BASEBALL BAT WITH THE RUSTIEST LARGE NAILS HAMMERED INTO IT. HOW DARE YOU MAKE IT A RACE THING. ESPECIALLY IN THE 10′S. FUCK YOU.

CMLKSDMFLSDF. YUT-LUNG. FUCK. *cries over the opening* 

MAPPA YOU ARE SO UNBEARABLY RUDE.

Please. Just kill me now.

*cries* I’ve always loved this lovely mood whiplash exchange. I prefer the manga version of it, though. It’s more... slapstick?

Poor Sonny. Q nQ

Why would they put the mark there. That’s not easy to conceal. 

I think they should’ve stuck with the bracelet. Yeah, someone could steal it, but still a lot more subtle than a huge black dragon tatt on Yut-Lung’s neck.

Yup. *sigh* Sadly...

*whispers* And this is why, no matter what people say later on, why I will always hold a grudge against Yut-Lung. Shorter...

Consider this: No. Fuck you.

Oh, my heart. Since Shorter made the comment that Yut-Lung looks like Eiji... I wonder if this is why he makes that comment. Because... Because...

You’re a kid too, Shorter...

*whispers* This is important.

*continues to stage whisper* Also important.

I love the effort Mappa put into all the details. The strangely Chinese-esque artwork hanging on the wall considering this is Alexis Dawson’s house and he’s not connected to the Lee Clan.

Good job, Ibe!!!

Especially since the anime doesn’t bring up your visa status.

m so glad Ibe doesn’t have to fully entertain the notion that he might just have to kidnap Eiji (and how he’ll have to do it). Bless Ash for volunteering earlier.

Poor Ibe. Eiji, you’re gonna make him age 30 years in 3 months.

Also, bonus Max being hot-headed and totally not reading between the lines.

*cries* That’s not true, Eiji! You helped solve the computer’s password! ...In the manga...

YEAH. AND THAT. I totally didn’t forget. *sweats*

*strangled noises* Ash...

What about Shorter. Q AQ

Excuse me as I curl in the fetal position, crying about letters and mountains and leopards and how everything about this is so much more painful in hindsight. 

Eiji... I just... *aggressive hands* All these feelings and nothing I can do about anything.

On one hand: I like the art direction taken.

On the other: Why you gotta be like this, Yut-Lung?

*whispers* They left this out. Truly toning down Ash’s tsuntsun nature.

Every time I read these panels, all I can think of is Shorter internally screaming for Ibe and Eiji to get away. To fly to Japan and never come back. 

If y’all have your friends on hand like I suggested... lucky you.

@freykugel​...

Because I’m in pain...

I love how Max has a higher EQ* than he does in the manga. He truly misses a lot of emotional cues that he doesn’t in the anime.

I miss Max rubbing it in, though. Manga Ash was a lot more emotional and hot-headed. Until...

...

*really fucking loud crying about epilogues*

I really appreciate how much emphasis is put on Max’s guilty conscious in the anime. My heart. 

Cmkalsfsadfljkasfd. NO. Yut-Lung. Just. No. NOPE.

I’m sad they cut out my son’s snark, though.

Rebel! Rebel in every tiny way possible, Shorter! No matter what happens, what anyone says, I know you tried. And I’m so proud of you.

There’s a very valid reason why...

Cmkalsdmflasfd. I just want to see his eyes. I want to see Shorter’s face after he’s been order to commit another betrayal.

God dammit, why do you have to live a billion miles away. I seriously need someone who knows what’s about to happen to be close enough to hold my damn hand already. *weeps*

FUCK YOOOOOOOU.

CMSDKLFMLSDF. FUCK YOU SO MUCH, YUT-LUUUUUUNG.

HOLDING NADIA HOSTAGE.

Oh god. Seeing Shorter’s eyes doesn’t make this better. Cmklsamfdlsafd.

Ohmg, yes!!! They kept this bit in!!!

(How dare Mappa add this expression. How dare they try to make me sympathize with Yut-Lung any more than the manga already tries. How dare.)

This is so much worse than I ever thought it could be.

Shorter.

WHY DO YOU LOOK SURPRISED. WHY.

*strangled sobbing* I wonder if this is a reason why... Yut-Lung obsesses so much... about... 

*intense feelings about Yut-Lung and his feelings towards himself and his family*

Why add this totally unneccessary scene about Yut-Lung noticing Shorter’s tears, Mappa you bastard. *cries*

The same scene in the manga because I’m emotional and I’m totally not biased for Shorter and hoping people don’t start dumping my boy in the trash... Honestly...

(I live in constant fear...)

THIS IS SO CRUEL. 

I’m so torn between: EEE! Michael with his surprise present (that didn’t show up in the manga! Since there wasn’t an excuse of “It’s Michael’s birthday”). Cutest child to ever cute.

But also: Fuuuuuuuck. I was secretly hoping they’d get off scott-free since Jessica doesn’t know anything about them heading to check out Dawson’s house. Whyyyyyyy.

Why you gotta be so observant, Jessica. Q vQ

Fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuck. Nonono. No. NOOOOO. 

I said NO.

SOMEONE SAVE THEM.

Lay me to rest. Play If I Die Young at the funeral and send me off like like Going Merry. I’m done.

I’m not quite sure how they’re handling the pacing, especially since it seems like my projections are a little off. Still so worried how they’re gonna fit 19 volumes in 24 episodes... especially since it looks like The Episode I Fear the Most won’t be happening next episode like I originally estimated but episode 9 instead...

*Emotional Quotient: google it if you’re curious

<<Episode 6                                     Masterlist                                    Episode 8>>

[artificialqueens]

You're a Winner, Baby? - Echo (Craquaria)

Hi everybody, long time no see! Welcome to whatever this is. I hope you enjoy this mess I call a story! Also - I made a side-blog thing under the name Echo-AQ so go check that out. Love y'all (Also I thought I’d let everyone know I’m having trouble with tags but I am working it out so sorry!)  

The past three weeks have been something for Max. After having to face his elimination all over again, then immediately taping the finale and reunion, having to see the top four episode without him, and attempting to deal with the mess that is the reunion, he was exhausted. He hardly wanted to get in drag just to go to a gay bar and watch someone else win the crown. Max didn’t know how he wanted tonight to play out. Like he said on the show, he wanted Aquaria to take home the crown, but he also knew that she would never be home anyways if she won. Max had seen it with Bob and with Sasha, once they win they’re so busy that the only time they’ll have for other people is when getting ready for a gig together. Of course, he wanted Aquaria to win if he wasn’t, this was her big chance at everything she ever wanted. He was just upset at the idea of losing this friendship they had just recently fixed.

Max sighed as he pulled himself off of the couch, going into the bathroom to get ready. He wasn’t jealous of the attention, the money, the title, or the respect that Aquaria could gain in the next couple of hours, no. Max wasn’t jealous of Aquaria, he was jealous of her interviewers, the queens hosting her gigs, girls who got to go on tour with her, the fans meeting her at meet and greets. Max was jealous because at least they would get some time with Aquaria, Max would have none. He didn’t know why this idea scared and upset him so much, as that was basically the way it was for so long for them before the show, but he told himself repeatedly that it was just because they were so close now, though a small part of his brain kept shouting the inevitable truth.

As Max was finishing his makeup, slowly turning into Miz Cracker, he thought about everything that could happen tonight. He already knew Asia had no chance but there were three other girls who could win tonight, and he wasn’t sure who to root for. Based off of the lipsync Max thought that it would be either Kameron or Aquaria, but if it was based off of overall performance, it was Aquaria or Eureka. In his mind, he knew that Aquaria had the best chance of winning and deserved it the most but that didn’t make him happy about it.

As he struggled to put on a dress over his giant hip pads, he realized he was being irrational. This was his friend - one of his best friends - and here he was, moping about her getting everything she ever wanted. He pulled on his wig, which probably weighed 30 pounds on a good day, and headed out the door, grabbing some money and going. He knew Aquaria would be at a bar just two or three blocks away tonight, so he doubted anyone would really be at the one he was headed to anyways. He decided to walk there as it was only 5 blocks. Katelyn was already there, so Max shot her a text letting her know he was on his way. Despite being stopped by two straight girls with their boyfriends standing awkwardly behind them, Max was able to walk to the club undisturbed by anything but his thoughts.

He thought about losing Aquaria, losing Giovanni, and why it bothered him so much. He thought about Giovanni, a lot. He thought about their time on drag race, and he thought about the time after, before it aired. He thought about how they got up almost every “morning” (usually around 12) and got coffee together, one of them taking an uber or cab to the other’s apartment and them walking there and back, always hanging out until they had other plans or gigs. He thought about watching the All-Stars finale together, a bet of 10 dollars or whether Shangela or Trixie would win (Max won). He thought about the movie nights they had when they both didn’t have a gig, and he thought about how Gio canceled his gigs for a week when Max’s boyfriend broke up with him, despite Max claiming he was “fine” (he wasn’t). He thought about how that all changed as soon as the cast was released.

He soon was at the bar, smiling like an idiot from the memories. He wiped the smile off his face as he walked in, remembering what was about to happen. Max knew that Aquaria was probably worried out of her mind right now, so he sent her a quick text saying “good luck”, not much, but he knew she would appreciate it. They’d barely been able to talk the past few weeks, not counting while they got ready for the reunion and after when everyone went to grab drinks together. Max snapped out of his thoughts as he saw Katelyn waving across the room. He put on a fake smile and walked over to join her at the table. Max had missed the first two lipsyncs already, but he had been there to see what happened. He awkwardly ran over to the table so he could get there before everyone started freaking out about Monet winning Miss Congeniality.

Just as he was able to say “hi”, the whole bar erupted in cheers. Katelyn and Max clapped but stayed seated, as they had known this for a couple of weeks. It wasn’t long until the final lipsync started. Max smiled a little as he saw his friend’s eyes light up as she performed, the way they always did. Max loved to see that rush of emotion, that was his favorite part of the younger queen’s performances. The lipsync was great. Despite the camera men not showing her nearly as much as the others, Max couldn’t take his eyes off of Aquaria.

It was really no surprise when Ru crowned Aquaria. She deserved it, she worked for it, she earned it. This was all she ever wanted, so why wasn’t Max happy? He froze as her name was spoken, looking once to Katelyn and clapping once or twice. He knew why he was so upset. He was so god damn blind this whole time. He got up as soon as her speech ended, knowing that right now she was giving an acceptance speech.

He quickly asked a local queen for makeup remover and was given paper towels and dish soap. It would have to work, for now, Max supposed. He thanked her and called an uber. Max got home as fast as he could, ripping his wig off and throwing it on the floor as soon as he was in his apartment. He had managed to remove his makeup in the uber, so all that was left was clothes. As soon as Max was able to get his boy clothes on, he called an uber and ran a comb through his hair once, pulling it up into his normal bun. He ran downstairs, out of the building and into the second uber of the night, telling him to head to the bar that Aquaria was probably still inside.

Max rushed in, searching for the newly crowned queen. After being unable to find her, Max ran to the backstage area, knowing exactly where to go as he had performed here many times. When a security guard stopped him, he thought he was completely fucked, until Aquaria stepped out right on time, telling him to let Max through.

“Why are you here,” was the first thing that Aquaria - now mostly Giovanni - asked. Max was surprised by the coldness of his tone. When Max took a step away, Giovanni’s eyes softened slightly.

“I just wanted to say congratulations I guess, I know it’s all you’ve ever dreamed of,” Max said, suddenly losing all the courage he had built up in the last 20 minutes. Giovanni looked at him confused as he took off the last of his makeup. He could obviously see that there was something Max wasn’t telling him, but Max just didn’t have the guts to say it.

Max knew that this may be his last chance to do something before everything got too crazy. With a quick “fuck it” under his breath that he knew Gio heard, Max walked towards him and grabbed his face, (having to stand on his toes to do so) pulling him into a short kiss. Max knew two things right now: One, that he would regret this as soon as it was over, and two, that the feeling of Giovanni’s lips on his was intoxicating, and he wanted more immediately. The kiss probably lasted less than five seconds, but it was everything Max needed to know that this was why he had been so upset about the concept of Aquaria winning, of Giovanni leaving.

Max uttered a quick “sorry” and began to walk out of the room when he felt someone grab his arm and pull him back in. This kiss lasted much longer, was much more passionate and loving. There was no sparks flying or bells ringing, but it felt right like their lips were made for each other. It was unlike anything Max had ever experienced, and he wished it would never end.

“You’re so stupid,” was what finally came out of Giovanni’s mouth as they parted. Max looked at him confused and Gio laughed quietly. “I’ve been trying to kiss you since the day we met!” He shouted and Max laughed too.

“You were like 18 when we met,” Max reminded him and Giovanni just shrugged.

“Didn’t make you any less hot,” Gio said and Max’s face turned bright red. Giovanni just laughed and kissed him again. If this was what it was like for Gio to have the crown, it couldn’t be nearly as bad as Max thought.