#that they can't use their trauma as an excuse to blow up everyone else's lives

[justalittlebluetiefling]

Sometimes I try to write down thoughts about this campaign but I admittedly have not been paying enough attention to feel confident in my character analysis so I write an incoherent text post and then delete it because I don't know if I'm actually making the correct judgments.

[petrich0-r]

warning!!! long rant incoming

weeks later and i am still not over how much reading chapter 426 traumatized me. seeing touya reduced to a what??? burnt-up corpse strapped to a wall and on life support, barely breathing and with no hope of recovery, with only a bleak "slow march toward death" ahead of him was only the first blow.

then we see the todofam marching into the hospital determined to "talk with him" while he can barely string together a few sentences and is strapped to a heart monitor in a way that invasively reveals his true feelings of upset/excitement/anixety at whatever they feel like talking to him about, which was personally mortifying to witness.

one of the FIRST things he says is how he isn't "some damn tourist attraction" for them to come gawk at and talk at to make themselves feel better. and yes even though most of my ire is directed at enji i still dislike how the rest of the family acted in this chapter. all determined to say their piece now that he's forced to stay there and listen to them, and even shouto's part in all of it being framed as him "saving" touya and making time for them all to have together while he is DYING an AGONIZING and SLOW death. also natsuo not even saying anything to touya even though he was the only one to ever advocate for him and constantly remind everyone in the family of what happened to his brother and demanding justice from enji. although if i interpret this as him recognizing that talking with touya now would only violate his privacy since he can't hide his feelings because of the heart monitor his behaviour is the only one that makes sense.

enji once again taking the opportunity to talk about what HE is doing to atone for "his sins", in a way that fills me with such indescribable rage and fury at this man's audacity to even show his face to any member of his family and makes me once again want to kill him with my bare hands because i am SICK and TIRED of hearing about his "atonement" and "rejection". and even though natsuo renounces him definitively once and for all once they exit the hospital, he also says he thinks enji is a "badass" now???? EXCUSE. ME. also shouto calling him "father" still makes me want to puke i'm sorry.

to rub salt into the wound the chapter then switches to hawks talking with nagant who is now fully recovered?? from literally exploding??? in a parody of what i hoped a final dabihawks interaction was going to be. but i guess only heroes and "good" victims get to live and have miraculous recoveries in this story.

another thing that makes me livid is this trend horikoshi has set of showcasing touya in pivotal panels as not-being-burnt-to-a-crisp so he can?? what??? show us his imagined facial expressions better??? idk it just feels so disingenuous to him being crippled, burnt to death, stripped of all bodily autonomy, irreversibly and gruesomly injured only for horikoshi to take the easy way out when he wants to show emotions on his face so we can what?? see him as a person still and not a disfigured corpse???? i don't get it.

as someone who up until those chapters at the end where horikoshi decided that yes izuku should absolutely vanquish tomura was very hopeful about bnha's ending and where it was headed and what kind of story it wanted to tell i feel immeasurably and utterly betrayed and furious at what happened to the remaining lov characters. touya's end is a nightmare scenario on a personal level but what tomura's character went through at the end felt like a complete butchering of everything he as a character stood for. and don't get me started on himiko, a fucking TEENAGE GIRL who i was SURE would get to live if nobody else from the league did. but those are rants for another post.

my final thoughts for this rant are musings on whether horikoshi is aware how hurtful and trauma-inducing chapter 426 is. i struggle to grasp how he could write such a nuanced character without apparently knowing the first thing about how to resolve their story in a satisfying way. whether or not he waffled on how he should end bnha and then chickened out on its "true/controversial/revolutionary" ending i can only speculate but at this point i don't even care because the fact is he CHOSE to end the story this way and i have no idea what the point of it all even was anymore and i am tired and rant over because i've been rambling like a lunatic for way too long now

anyway sorry if this doesn't make a lick of sense idk what i'm saying or trying to articulate here, this is my first post of this length and i was gonna keep it all inside but i felt i had to let it out somehow. if u got this far thank you for reading this and have a good day <33

[watchyourdigits]

Below the cut are some smutty Frankie/Danse headcanons/musings that I've finally gotten around to writing down. I've been heavily neglecting those two lately and have been taking 10pts of psychic damage every 30 seconds because of it.

Frankie doesn't like giving head. Not because he's being prissy about it or anything (he used to LOVE slurping schlong). It's 100% an insecurity thing. He knows how he used to look, and he's very aware of how he looks now. "Why would you want this ugly mug between them gorgeous thighs of yours?"

Danse is very particular about protocol and having a game plan/sticking to it, where Frankie just generally thinks that any way The Man wants things done is probably flawed in some way. At the very least, it ain't his idea of fun. Him having ADHD doesn't help any of this. He's a bit reckless, and it always makes Danse worry like crazy. Everyone in Sanctuary knows that if Frankie and Danse are butting heads over any sort of procedure that you've gotta avoid their living quarters for a while. The closer they seem to coming to blows, the longer you should steer clear. Their fellow settlers aren't oblivious to the way they'll come back far more disheveled than before, with Danse stoically standing aside while Frankie takes the reins on whatever it was they were arguing over to begin with. His solutions always end up more rational than they were before he and Danse, uh, ""talked"" about it.

They aren't gentle with one another very often. These are two large men with a lot of trauma who have been pigeon-holed into using themselves as weapons for most of, if not their entire lives. They start off absolutely fucking nasty, usually with a lot of biting and clawing involved (sometimes a little blood for it, too). They fuck like they're desperate, again, because trauma related to losing loved ones in very violent ways, as well as both being very repressed and dishonest with themselves. It almost looks like hatefucking & most people probably wouldnt understand it from an outsider's perspective. For them, It Just Works™

It takes a while for them to learn to take their time with one another. The world isn't going to end for a second time in the next five minutes, ya dig? Sex CAN last longer than that if you want it to. The first time they discover this and finally go at it slowly, it's a transcendental/borderline religious experience for them both. Danse learns what the word passion truly means, and Frankie ends up thinking he finally might believe in God again. Well, maybe not... But Danse was certainly ✨️glowing✨️ after all was said and done & Frankie swears he's got a goddamned halo around him.

Frankie's favorite time of day is just before dinner, which is when Danse gets his reps in. He loves to just sit there and watch the swear pour off him. It's game over when the shirt comes off and he can catch a glimpse of his body hair. Frankie often has to excuse himself to go rub one out. Given that Danse is a very clean (borderline neurotic) person when it comes to personal hygiene, Frankie is mortified by the idea of asking to do anything with him before he's showered. It's one of those things he knows will crush his soul if he's rejected, so instead, he sticks to fantasizing about licking him clean from head to toe.

Little does he know, Danse is secretly hurt every time he leaves during his workouts. He feels like he could be spending time doing literally anything else other than getting himself filthy just before dinner. He wonders if it's worth it to go through the effort anymore, but the praises Frankie offers him throughout the sessions fuel his very soul. He blushes and tries to keep his breathing steady as Frankie drawls on and on about how good he looks and how he wants to put him on a pin-up poster, like the ones they had before the War. Maybe one day he'll ask Frankie if he can use him to practice his hip thrusts instead of the weights, but he can't figure out how to go about it without sounding too forward/creepy. Maybe someday these two idiots will learn to just SAY WHAT THEY WANT!!!

Also at some point Danse discovers that he loves to jerk off while Frankie purrs in his ear about how perfect he is, how he's putting on such a good show, how amazing he looks all splayed out like that,, In other words, Danse has a crippling praise kink, pass it on

Bonus silly: oh no Frankie is being bratty again! Danse is gonna grab him by the scruff of his neck and fuck him into subordination. Frankie has intentionally crafted this outcome by maximizing his Nuisance Levels just enough to break Danse uwu

Anywhomst, thank you for coming to my gay ass Ted Talk

[snowydaffodils]

Underground

1473 words | Seventeen

Warnings: profanities, violence, mentions of character death, crime, and uh, its a mafia au so its dark. A bit angst too, because its uh, there's deaths and casualties. So we gon be sad about that.

a/n: This is a Seventeen Mafia!AU involving all members of Seventeen, including the ex-supposed-members, too. It includes everyone but the ones who appear is Seungcheol, Soonyoung and Jihoon. It's just a simple prompt I've thought of, and maybe would want to make continuous chapters but I'm still not sure. I hope you enjoy this one, though!

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Seungcheol sighed, looking at the last of what they had for the week. With that much, they could barely survive food for all thirteen of them, much less feed the survivors. He gripped the straps holding his bulletproof vest on him and dumped the heavy armor on the old couch behind him.

"Is this all we have?" Seungcheol didn't mean to raise his voice, but his frustration was hard to contain. Across him, who for once he was away from his computer screen, was Jihoon, who shared his look of concern.

"With a couple more part times from a few members maybe we can have enough for the survivors as well this week," Jihoon sighed. "But for how much longer do we have to do this, Cheol?"

Born from the Underground, it was difficult for them to work normally in society. They have burdens to carry, and while it was their choice to leave their main families and leave the gangs they were part of, it also became their anchor because they were marked as betrayers.

Resources were hard to get because they weren't only blocked from the open society because of their records, blood and pasts, but also because their previous families decided that they would make it hard for them to gain anything in the Underground. Imagine being blocked off even from the black market.

Soonyoung was on the other side of the table, his guns still attached to his body, his full gear still on, he didn't bother taking anything off because the next mission is in half an hour. His face was grim, as he had just came back from a mission. He had just taken captives away from being trafficked by the infamous Kim family and he succeeded his mission perfectly, but not without cost. Minghao was unconscious when they brought him in, which frightened him on the inside, but he couldn't let his concerns be in the way of the mission. He had carried his member back, Junhui on the other side and Chan clearing anything that was in their path, and Soonyoung had the darkest look on his face. As soon as Jeonghan claimed Minghao's vitals were unharmed and that he would leave, Soonyoung breathed relief, took a few seconds to himself, but immediately went back to work as if nothing happened.

They were literally fighting for their ideals and for their own values, but it certainly wasn't easily. Being outnumbered was one problem when it comes to these mafias, but cutting off resources was proving to make them suffer even more. They have been trying to slowly put the other survivors into society, managing their housing, their jobs, and their identities, but it costs a lot and they can only return so few, when the number of people needed saving was only growing.

"We can't keep doing this," Soonyoung breathed out. Soonyoung was the type to bring the happy atmosphere in the room, one of those who just make the world a little brighter. But once he's on edge, he'd just turn and blow up. The casualty of his member and the stress on necessities were more than enough reasons to push him there. "We can't manage, we can't live like this!"

On normal days, Jihoon would've the more rational one, the cool-headed one, but he, too, was on edge.

"What do you suggest we do, huh? Spit your shit, Soonyoung!" Jihoon retorted. Every single one of them was being too sensitive, they knew this. They wouldn't mean the things they'd say, but they needed to blow off steam anyways.

"I don't fucking know, Jihoon!" Soonyoung cried. "Quit being superheroes!? Get a job, blend to society?! Maybe then Minghao can actually lay on an actual hospital bed!"

"You think I don't want that?" Jihoon snapped back. "You think I haven't been trying for the past years, to put all of you into society, put you to proper jobs, give you new clean identities without having to worry about shit?"

"Well it's all for nothing, isn't it?" At this point Soonyoung didn't realize the words he was spouting. "Tell me, what kind of growth have we gone through the years, Jihoon? Seungcheol, what makes this so different than when we first started?!" Jihoon just glared at him, knowing full well Soonyoung was just on rampage mode, and he wasn't thinking, but every word still struck his heart like spears would've. "Well it's not any different!" Soonyoung cried.

"Shut up, both of you!" Seungcheol yelled. "Just," his hands made their way through his head as he tried to clear his mind and he lowered his voice as he spoke. "Shut up. The boys will hear. We can't have all thirteen of us raging at each other. We have missions to do. People to save."

When Seungcheol first gathered them, they were given a choice, just like any other runaways he had met. To join him, or to keep running. He had never once held them back against their choice. When MingMing chose to go back to China, live a normal life, Seungcheol only wished him luck and bid him goodbye after handing him a new passport Jihoon had managed to get. To both Dongjin and Samuel, he had urged to go back to society after they joined for a while. They were too young. They wanted to help, but when Seungcheol saw what trauma Samuel had to deal with, he asked Jihoon to prioritize the two and hand them their ticket back to society. It was easier, too, because they were young, and not much of a gap in their lives to be filled on paper.

"I'm not telling you to leave or stay," Seungcheol had said. "You can choose, but your ticket is right here, and I promise you'll be fine. You won't have to fight anyone ever again, nobody will touch you. We'll all be here for you, no matter what."

Both Dongjin and Samuel bawled, and Seungcheol had hugged them tightly. On weekends, he kept his promise and checked up on them routinely. He'd escape basecamp and watch them from afar. Only Soonyoung and Jihoon knew where he'd disappear after dark hours, as they sometimes joined him, and other times made the excuses for him. Seungcheol was proud of the two, and that was evident everytime he returned from his "lookout" trips. Once, Seungcheol came home with a rare smile on his face, and it was everything the world needed. "I saw Samuel audition in a company today. He's really talented," he had said, his eyes beaming.

At times like these, Soonyoung questioned why he had to lead this life. Why he had to be the responsible one and save everyone else and why he can't just run like any other person. He wanted to be like Samuel, given the clear way out, and Seungcheol would still have his back no matter what. In fact, they all would. Nobody would blame or judge him for it. But damn him and his pride; him and his conscience. The guilt he would've felt had he left just like that - he won't, couldn't, live through it. Not for the people who were just like him, who were unlucky enough to be born in the dark, not to those who were held against their will, victims of the Underground, and certainly not to those who he treated as brothers.

Soonyoung just screamed. He hated feeling so helpless.

"Soonyoung," Seungcheol called, the bags under his eyes became evidence of his tiredness. "Take a break. Have Jun lead close combat. I'll send Hansol to your team. I'll cover his position."

No. He couldn't rest now, not now when one of his members is already hurt. Soonyoung took a deep breath, and sighed. He shouldn't be hot-headed. Not now when they have mission after mission to complete.

"No, I'm sorry. I'll keep my cool. Minghao's down, I can't leave the team," Soonyoung resigned heavily.

"No," Seungcheol said firmly. "Not when you're emotional. If it bothers you, go get Seokmin and have him back your team up, too."

"I'll be calm, I prom-"

"You know very well I can't make decisions based on promises, Soonyoung. That's not how we work here."

The hurt in Seungcheol's eyes were evident, and both Soonyoung and Jihoon knew full well why. Seungcheol diverted his eyes away; he can't bear to see the eyes of his friends, his long time partners, both wallowing in pity to him and to themselves.

"You guard here - that's final. Jihoon, you make sure he stays. Soonyoung, unarm yourself and go get Seokmin."

Seungcheol didn't stay for more arguments. He left after he took back the bulletproof vest he threw on the couch and went to get his team.

Soonyoung cursed in frustrations, and Jihoon just held his head on his hands.

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