#that someone else made comes with uhh implications. it shouldn't (i should allow myself to exist) but it does for me
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woke up in a cold sweat after dreaming that rcg became infinitely more cringe
#i don't remember exactly what their new thing was but i wouldn't describe it if i could#but it was just shameless and lazy and out of touch and yet still a cash grab#and my parents (mom mainly) somehow knew and disapproved?? i think that was in the mix bc you can't just have interests or like things in#this house your things are either gonna get shat on often and profusely or only sometimes#if one parent doesn't hate what you love the other one is gonna#i'm tired of explaining and apologizing for being myself all the time because these people refuse to be open and accept who their#own fucking children are lol#and it's tiring to live under scrutiny and social media already provides me (and us) with scrutiny and i'm already sensitive to it#because my parents couldn't be normal about me 🙄 and then there are men and capitalism out there and that's scary..#and it's scary that so many people unabashedly chase money or fame or whatever and put on masks and btw an influencer is a#type of horror creature#anyway that's all whatever‚ it also scares me that it's possible to hurt yourself through parasociality gysgxy and that loving anything#that someone else made comes with uhh implications. it shouldn't (i should allow myself to exist) but it does for me#and this was all wrapped in a nice little shit bundle of awkwardness and pity and regret and i did not like this dream#kata.txt
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