#that she stays here bc it's easier to control ur kid in this country than it is in the west

[lemonlovemeanslove]

The more I think about it the more upset I get at how badly I was treated by my first employer. She was such a racist piece of shit. A UNBELIEVABLE controlling mother, unbelievably (Gilmore girls being her favoriteeeee show is so on the nose it feels like parody) all she did was look down on the middle east, the culture, it's people, the religion. Every aspect was mocked and belittled in her oh so annoying I'm a well educated English white woman voice.

So I grew up in the middle east right, THIS is my home, and here, in my home, throwing away good food isn't just frowned upon, it's a pretty big fucking sin. And I was the baby sitter for her kid right (who had ZERO friends btw bc her mother isolated her and spoiled her to the point where no other child could stand her company) and she was about the throw away a ice cream we just got bc she didn't want it anymore and I go to stop her, and tell her well now we shouldn't throw away food like that it's wasteful, you don't have that must left. It's not like I was gonna force her to eat it I just wanted her to stop and think about it, about wasting food and what it means, which she very obviously hadent been taught to do, and this psycho mother grabs it from her hand and tosses it in the trash, then goes to preach "well I've raised my kid not to treat her own body like a trash can blablabla" And I give this bitch a are you fucking serious look bc NOT EVEN 5 MINUTES AGO she looked at one of the cleaning crews that were washing the pavement and sighs and goes "these people" are so irresponsible and WASTEFUL don't they care about the environment smh smh. And I was like well...they have to clean it, we all need it to be clean bc we all need to use it and its not like they control how much water is being used like it's a bit much to demand which pisses her of right bc how dare u question me little brown child. Any fucking ways this also serves as example 12531 of how white people will cry about "environmental activism" before they ever check their own rasism (the irony here what with the connections of white supremacy and environmentalism is so obvious I don't really have to point it out but still)

[fleurdeliszt]

this is ALL @abunnycotton ‘s fault. Pls direct all ur anon hate at her 

For those confused, it’a sequel to this https://kimcottonbear.tumblr.com/post/183332179653/so-this-is-all-abunnycotton-s-fault-she-wanted

Also it should go without saying that this is a work of fiction. There's a a lot of bad stuff in here and if you ever meet a guy like this irl, run.

Warnings : emotional manipulation, abuse

//

“Don't you think that idol from XX company is creepy?” (+34, -1560)

“ㅋㅋㅋㅋ you mean the leader of the new boy group yeah he has serial killer vibes” (+20, -1005)

“YALL MUST be kidding bc that is an actual angel??” (+2070, -12)

“What do i-fans know of Koreans? ㅋㅋ go back to your country instead of leaving comments on Naver” (+17, -172)

“His eyes are so cold it's like he has no soul” (+23, -78)

“that's kind of my type tbh” (+268, -89)

“Aren't those all XX idols? Their company idols are all robots” (+134, -76)

//

There are downsides to letting you debut. For one thing you're very much in the public eye and it makes it very difficult for him to reach you.

For another it has encouraged unsavory individuals delusional fantasies about how you belong to them.

//

“they say if you stalk XX gg you will die” (+451, -170)

“lol wtf” (+781, -53)

“you shouldn't be stalking anyone in the first place (+1704, -5)

“No but really, it's just one member.” (+561, -351)

“this is ridiculous you're all idiots, stop stalking celebs and get a life” (+2718, -198)

//

“Hyung.”

He turns around.

The same boy who 5 years ago grinned at him carefree and happy now has an odd expression on his face.

He smiles, settling down on the sofa and beckoning the younger boy closer.

To his amusement, the boy merely flinches.

“Is there something wrong?” His tone is gentle, and the wounded expression on the boy's face grows.

“It's nothing hyung.”

//

Recently he's found it difficult to focus. It might have to do with the numerous articles being released about you.

It might have to do with your rising popularity. Or your recent dating scandal.

Or the fact that you were no longer under his control.

His and your schedules barely ever overlapped and he found it increasingly irritating that you had a world tour coming up in the next few weeks.

He himself had his musicals and various other projects and was just plainly too busy to bother with you, but--

But.

It was infuriating and agitating for things to not go his way.

He would clench his teeth and bear it for a while. But not for too long.

//

There is another award show tonight.

He's sick of them.

Yet, he smiles at the cameras as he always does and locks eyes with you for a beat longer than necessary.

Lights blink and flash wildly around the both of you as you bashfully duck your face and turn away. He lets a smile touch his lips.

//

A magazine falls in front of him.

‘Netizens suspect popular boy group member A to be dating labelmate,’ the headline seems to jump out at him. He hides his smile behind his mug of coffee.

“Oh?” He raises his eyebrow at his group member, “What's this?”

“Trashy rumors,” his fellow member sniggers, “But manager still wants to talk you. Don't get into trouble hyung.”

A pause and then,

“It's not real, is it?”

He stands up and walks to the door to meet his manager without answering the question.

//

You sit there, tears overflowing onto your cheeks.

You have never looked more beautiful to him. He wants to wipe away the tears and kiss the tear tracks, all the way up to your lips. However, there are other important matters to attend to.

Like the disappointed looks your managers are aiming at you both.

“Why are you harassing her over some netizen comments?” His voice is cold.

“You know it's not like that,” his manager hastily assures him, “It'd be fine if it's just random comments. But somebody's been leaking pics of both of you. It looks bad.”

Of course it did. He leaked them himself.

The crying by his side gets louder.

“This is such a bad time to be in a scandal,” your manager sighs,”Couldn't you have been a little more careful?”

“We aren't dating!” You exclaim, “Please explain to them,” you beseech him and he sighs.

“We aren't dating,” he repeats and both the managers give you incredulous looks.

“You're kissing her forehead here,” he points it out at you, and you turn crimson.

“We're friends.” Your denial irritates him to no extent, but it doesn't matter. At least, not now.

“You can release a statement saying as such. That we're really close or something.”

Your manager sighs. “So much trouble over nothing. Nobody will believe this we're just friends excuse. At this point I wish you were dating. It'd be easier to explain.”

“We'll discuss it with the CEO. You'll probably be called soon as well.”

He ducks his head in apology even though he can't stop the smile stretching his lips.

//

To his irritation, his company just chooses not to acknowledge the issue.

It blows over after a while, like everything always does in the entertainment industry.

It does have added unwanted effect of making your popularity skyrocket.

You're casted on more shows, more collaborations. Your talent is finally recognized, as countless people comb through your fancams to find flaws and instead find an honestly endearing girl.

The nation is smitten.

Fantastic, he thinks bitterly, sipping his coffee.

//

“Do you think hyung is dating her?”

“They seem close.”

“Do they really though? They barely ever hang out after that news release of him and her.”

“Should I ask her out then?”

“Are you insane? What if hyung knows?”

“What does it matter to him? It's not like they're dating.”

His fingers dig into his palms so hard he can see indents.

//

It's time for drastic measures.

//

He didn't want to do it. Not really. He liked maintaining status quo.

You forced his hand though. Quite impudent of you, but that's why he liked you.

//

Your world tour is next week.

He's at your place, not the dorms, your actual house, where you lived with your parents.

“I didn't know you needed that music file so urgently!” You look bashful,”I thought I could take the demo home and practice a bit.”

“Yes well, it's the only copy so we need it.” It's the only copy because he has deleted other copies but you didn't need to know that.

“Please wait a minute,” your entire face is crimson and he likes it. A lot.

You hand over the USB to him, hesitating. He knows you like him. He knows you want him to spend a little longer at your place. He knows and yet he waits for you to speak.

“Uh- do you want to eat or drink something?”

Perfect. He smiles politely at you, nodding as you disappear into the kitchen.

It's time.

//

Your scream sounds like music to him and as it's abruptly cut off he sighs. Oh well.

Arranging his face into concern and fear, he moves quickly to spot you lying at the bottom of the stairs, your leg sprawled at an unnatural angle.

He had to actively stop his smile because this had gone exactly, if not better than his plans.

//

He rushes you to the hospital.

//

“He was at her place lol how much more proof do we need” (+5647, -234)

“I'm so worried for her, it looks like she really will have to take a break, her leg looks bad” (+1236, -367)

“what a bitch lol inviting guys to her place. Bet he's not the first one” (+657, -200)

“will her concert schedules be okay, I got the tickets after so long now I can't see her” (+749, -137)

//

He refuses to leave the hospital.

Even though it's him that's the reason for all of this, he feels an unfamiliar niggling in his heart.

Guilt.

It's for your own good, he tells himself sternly.

He's just not sure he believes it anymore.

//

“He stayed here all night.”

“What?” You almost sit up, but the pain that shoots through your broken leg makes you whimper.

“Don't push yourself,” your leader smiles, “He must really like you, though.”

“He's just guilty probably,” you sigh. “That's just like him though, to feel guilty over things that are out of his control.”

“Do you want to see him?”

“Am I allowed to?” You pout, “They probably won't let him in because it'd cause a bigger issue.”

“Leave that to your unnie,” she grins at you, and you grin back, feeling lucky to be so loved.

//

“Hi,” he waves at you, a bit awkward, and so very handsome that you blush.

“Hi,” you smile back, feeling like a 14 year old once again.

“Is that… Are you feeling okay?”

“I am,” you smile, “I'm glad I hadn't broken my neck. The doctor said it's a very real possibility.”

He looks alarmed.

“It didn't happen!” You wave your arms at him, laughing, “I'm fine now.”

“But you would have...died.” The last word is a quiet whisper.

You shrug, trying to make light of it despite your fingers trembling against your sheets. “It didn't happen so, don't worry about it.”

He looks at your a moment, and pulls you into a sudden embrace.

“I couldn't bear to lose you.”

Your heart pitter-patters in your chest. He's so close to you, you can feel his warm breath washing across your neck, his large hands that grasp your waist, the lingering scent of last night's cologne mixed with something more him.

“I really wouldn't survive losing you,” he whispers, and your head spins with the implications of his words.

He pulls back, his eyes bright with intensity. “I love you.”

//

“So they were dating.”

“I'm glad I didn't ask her out, hyung would have murdered me.”

//

IS this over? Idk.. Did he change in those last few minutes of the story? Uh no.. He’still crazy, hes probably always going to be that way lol unless he gets help. I was really really really inspired by Toma from amnesia (if any of u have played that pls feel free to hit me up!!! Absolutely in love with Shin and uhh Toma sgdjdk pls don’t judge) I haven't had this urge to write in so longgg omg