#that one invincible meme : I think I miss…. smiling friends | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

bangtansfavwriter · 5 years ago

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💘bangtan as boyfriends: taehyung💘

-he was rather shy at the beginning of your relationship but you soon realised how serious he was about you

-very commited to you, your relationship and your future together

- but all in all he was rather slow to open up but you have taught him to trust more in people

-with each passing day his walls crumbled more and more and you started to see his soft side

-you have taught him that vulnerability is not something to be afraid of

-this is why tae is absolutely bound to you, no matter what happens

- the depth of your relationship is what keeps you going despite every hardship you face, for example when he's gone on tour for months

-you miss each other terribly and it's difficult for both of you... but embracing each other again once he's back makes it worth it again

-his career is very important to him obviously, but he knows that he must make time for you as well to make things work out

-bc he's also very serious about you.. even when you guys were a new couple he knew that this was gonna be long-term

- he will give you his honest opinion and full support whenever you need it most

- very very dependable

- knows when to be straightforward with you and when to goof around to make you smile

-oh my god he loves your smile so much, it can brighten up his entire day and you get so shy when he tried to tease you to smile at him and he adores it sooo much

-he managed to catch a blurry pic of you while doing that and it's his phone wallpaper ever since

- sends you good morning texts every day and will never end the day without sending you a good night text

- will never let you pay when you're out together so don't even try, he'll take personal offense tbh

- sends u gifts per mail from every country that they're touring through and will write you small letters about how, when and where he bought it and how much he misses you.... you'd send him a picture of it whenever it arrived and it'd just make his day to know how excited you got when the package arrived

-he's very thoughtful and sweet

-and you knew that you wouldn't get to hear him say "I love you" very often but instead he'd show it through actions like the ones I listed before, that's his love language

- also, he's not too big on pda, very private displays of affection, like when you're cuddling at home and back hugs like when you're making yourself tea and suddenly he's behind you and slowly roams his hands up your body and wraps you up against his body, while planting soft kisses against your neck

-needless to say, your focus was not fixing tea anymore

-kisses start off slowly but will turn steady, he knows how to build up your tension

- he's a very sensual lover, stimulate him in the right way and .... you're in for a ride

- very passionate when he wants to be, body talk let's him say things he fails to put into words sometimes

- loves pillow talk and your topic range would be HUGE bc I can see him being into unusual and lengthy conversations with someone who can keep up with his unconventional side and match this energy in a conversation

-so it wouldn't be rare that you guys would chill on his balcony on summer nights talk until without realising how quick time would pass and you both would go "oh, the sun...."

- sometimes your lengthy talk wouold be much to the dismay of the other members who'd chill with you from time to time

-3am-

tae: i just KNOW we're not alone in the universe

you: but will they ever accepts humans and show themselves to us ?

tae: right... 😔 they probably think we're stupid as hell and -

jimin, from his room: go the fUCK TO SLEEP!!!!

- taehyung glared towards the door bc aliens are the best topic ever tbh and you'd look at him and say "the last time I saw you glaring at jimin like that was when the dumpl- ", tae: "DO NOT EVEN START WITH THAT"

- anyway, let's not lose focus here lmao

- since tae and you started off as besties you guys are very chill together, sometimes tae forgets his bf duty because of that

-like the time he forgot valentine's day, which u didn't really mind bc you knew that he was busy but he pulled up at your flat at 11pm and insisted on taking you out and did so.. to a very very fancy restaurant and you were like "oh crap" when you saw the prices there but tae didn't take no for an answer bc he loves spoiling you

- he always makes you feel special and it doesn't take fancy dinners to do that

- whenever you tell him some story he's fully concentrated on you and listens to each of your words so intently that it was making you shy at first bc he'd sit there like you were telling him the secrets of the universe

-so you told him that it's kinda weird for you, only to realise that he didn't even know he was doing that and he became shy afterwards

you: oh god I didn't want to make you uncomfortable with that, I'm sorry 😔

tae: nooo *grabs your hands* I should be the one to say that... I never realised I do that, it's just weird, right?

you: not weird, but unusual, I guess ? It's not like everything I tell you needs your undivided attention

tae: everything you say needs my attention. everything you say is important to me, sweetheart. you could say the dumbest words and it would still sound like heaven to me. maybe that's why I stare at you like that... I don't know.. but I hope you don't feel uncomfortable around me because I do that. You're just very dear to me...

-he told you all of that and shyly scratched his head and you'd sit there completely awestruck about the fact that kim taehyung pretty much adored you in any way, even when talking about whatever random stuff that came to your mind... and you couldn't find words at that moment that could show him the immeasurable amount of love, warmth and affection that he made you feel that moment so you just hugged him very tightly, which was surprising to him at first but then he started chuckling and hugged you back

- makes you knees weak every time he calls you "my love"

-finds your odd habits cute, looks at with the biggest smile when you did a sing-song to remember where you put your keys

- at least 40% of your texts are memes, tae would get a message from you, grin and get up before opening it next to the guys and they'd be like "ohh, risky texts?👀" whereas it was just a meme streak you guys were doing

- your biggest fan and hype man tbh

-you had some good lighting in your room one day and used it to make like 34 selfies out of which 3 were like okay-ish and 1 actually looked pretty nice so you decided to put it as your new profile pic... tae was doing promotions and a fan sign that day and he got the notification and actually suddenly GASPED and everyone was like "????", his fan signs actually captured the moment which made you laugh your ass off when you found out about it and it is now your favourite picture sequence

-he texted you after this happened

tae: how dare you... my heart couldn't handle it.. even the fans noticed

you: ????

tae: your dp... how dare you look so ravishing... 👀

you: lmaoooo, is that what this is about ?? - you sent him a link of the gasp moment -

tae: when u hype ur lover and still get mocked 😔✊🏼

you: nooo you were so cute baby, thank u for being my hype man 😚💕

tae: always, baby 🥰

-btw couple items even couple outfits are a huge thing with you two

yoongi, seeing your matching coats and yeontan's matching sweater:

"why"

taehyung, while trying on some of his 6274 sunglasses with you:

"it's called fashion, hyung"

"and love, yoongo"

"looove, hyung"

*dog panting*

yoongi: -walks away-

-you pretty much feel invincible when he's with you and he feels the same way

- you two are very devoted to one another and that's why everyone is sure that this will very likely be a long-term relationship

-he's rather dominating sometimes but you know... 👀 you don't mind 👀👀

-never jealous bc he knows there won't be any other hoes

- you once were in the front row during a concert and stared him down when he winked at some bimbo who yelled her lungs out.... and he had the audacity to laugh and mouthed "fan service" to you.. you nodded, but still were disgruntled af, so some time later he danced his way to your side of the stage and knelt down, while you put out your phone to film his anpanman antics and he took your phone and filmed him and the guys on stage before he gave you back your phone, but not without turning away from the audience and throwing a kiss into the cam...

the girl next to you: LUCKY YOUUU

you: GIRL I KNOWWW

-one word from bang pd and your relationship would be public right away

-taehyung's trust in you and your support for him are a solid foundation for this and everyone is very well aware of that

- tae goes into these moods sometimes where he puts up his walls again and starts distancing himself from you

-this used to be a reason you got into fights at first until you talked it out and you realised that he needs you show him love in times like these

-he assured you that he doesn't do this on purpose but that it's more like that he loses his trust in himself sometimes and thinks you're better off without him

-this tended to happen most when he was away from you for a long time and this made things worse bc you couldn't speak to him directly

-but when you two finally talked it out (when he was back) you knew that taehyung needed grounding from this stressful side of his life... so you promised him that you're gonna stay by his side as long as he doesn't shut you out, which he promised you too

- after a long talk you both felt drained but knew that this was gonna change things between you, your bond has strengthened and just when you were about to drift to sleep in his arms, you heard him whisper "I love you.. you have no idea how much..." and you finally fell asleep and had the most blissfully peaceful sleep in ages

-he loves to see you interact with his friends or even family members

-you were so nervous when you met his parents but soon your worries faded into thin air as the kim family made you feel their warmth and love

- tae's heart grew like 3 sizes when he saw you laugh with his parents, while playing with yeontan who wouldn't leave your side (taehyung occasionally calls him brutus), all in all he knew that you indeed were a perfect match for him

-loves to help you reach your goals, as much as you support his

- to him, you stand out in any crowd and he's just very proud to have you by his side and call you his

- knows how to surprise you and will give a lot of thought into the dates he plans

- takes a lot of pictures of you, for example when you guys were at the zoo and he saw you looking at cubs with

heart eyes or when you were at an art exhibition and discussed some piece with an elderly man who was there too... half of taehyung's gallery consists of your candids

- btw you two are regulars at a dog cafe nearby and both of you lose every bit of self-control as soon as you see the first pup run towards you

- he once planned a 2 hour trip to some cabin just to go stargazing there with you and it was truly worth it as you saw the night sky in it's most mesmerising form... taehyung and you were trying to figure out some constellations, but some time later you noticed that he went quiet and chuckled when you caught him looking at you.. "you're gonna make me blush again.." you said shyly. "too bad it's dark and I can't see you blush", he teased and winked at you when you looked at him. "seriously, tae, you should keep looking at the stars." - "i am, my love.."

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mcnypieces · 4 years ago

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THE POSITIVE & NEGATIVE; Mun & Muse - Meme

fill out & repost ♥ This meme definitely favors canons more, but I hope OC’s still can make it somehow work with their own lore, and lil’ fandom of friends & mutuals. Multi-Muses pick the muse you are the most invested in atm.

My muse is: canon / oc / au / canon-divergent / fandomless /

Is your character popular in the fandom? YES / NO / IDK

Is your character considered hot™ in the fandom? YES / NO / IDK ( They’re missing out )

Is your character considered strong in the fandom? YES / NO / IDK ( It’s subjective )

Are they underrated? YES / NO

Were they relevant for the main story? YES / NO

Were they relevant for the main character? YES / NO / THEY’RE THE PROTAG.

Are they widely known in their world? YES / NO? ( This is... also subjective. )

How’s their reputation? GOOD / BAD / NEUTRAL

How strictly do you follow canon?

As closely as possible, considering there’s not very much to work with in regards to his canon to begin with. There’s a lot of freedom in picking up any kind of minor canon character. I look mainly to expand on what little is present. I adore fleshing out even the smallest ideas so having something I can comfortably build on is great.

SELL YOUR MUSE! Aka try to list everything, which makes your muse interesting in your opinion to make them spicy for your mutuals.

Pica is loyal, beyond anything. Strong, well-built, and never wavering. Regardless of the situation, he is always on task, diligent to the last moment and perhaps longer. Devotion and collected functionality make a grand guardian. Always acts as a pillar; a collected foundation of a man centered around dedicated familial values. Being in contact with stone makes him nigh invincible, granting him not only the protective assimilation but the literal stature and appearance of a stone goliath given enough material. Strategic with respectable swordsmanship, constantly protective of what’s important. He’s nice on the eyes, quiet, and a good listener. There’s order and beauty laced within all that cataclysmic chaos just waiting to be found.

Now the OPPOSITE, list everything why your muse could not be so interesting (even if you may not agree, what does the fandom perhaps think?).

Distant, stoic, absolutely terrible with expression that isn’t hateful and violent. Pica is very strict, lacking a sense of humor. His voice is extremely disruptive. The smallest remarks set his short fuse alight and it burns on and on until there’s nothing left. That murderous intent settles for very few things, and getting him to open up is a long, grueling process. He’s self-conscious but in an overbearingly cocky way, in that pride often masks everything genuine. He thinks very highly of himself and looks down on other people constantly. He’s uncooperative, constantly wrapped up in solemn business, and heavily against indirect methods. Abrasiveness is a weapon and he uses it without remorse. Stubbornness and general unwillingness to speak with strangers make attempting to converse with him the equivalent of talking to a wall. Pica is impatience, wrath, and apathy tied together with coarse cobblestone.

What inspired you to rp your muse?

As odd as it sounds, I found certain parts of Pica relatable in very specific, personal ways. People never took me seriously when I was upset because I was so small ( sometimes they still don’t dskdsks- ). For awhile when I was younger my voice was really deep and hoarse due to adenoid issues. Speaking in general was hard, because breathing was hard. It made me sound very masculine, especially over any kind of voice-only system. Normally adenoids aren’t an issue at that point because they’re vestigial and tend to essentially be shrunk down to nothing. But something ( probably fighting off infections and never shrinking/bad allergies, nobody knows ) blew mine up and they were blocking 3/4ths of my airway for ages without anyone having any idea what was going on until it got bad enough to the point it was obvious something was wrong. I couldn’t have any stuffed animals in my room because it was legitimately dangerous and a lot of my non hypoallergenic stuff had plastic covers on it. Made me really sad. Eventually they were surgically removed, and it cleared up my breathing and in time my voice was relatively normal. Before then, nothing felt worse to me then than struggling to breathe trying to defend myself in tandem with all the emotional stress it brought on me.

I was always quiet and distant otherwise, and a lot of people thought I was just weird and unapproachable ( unless you wanted a laugh, anyway ). There were days before I made my small group of good friends I’d just spend sitting under the stairwell up against a wall eating lunch by myself. I’m probably one of the few people that listened to Pica talk for the first time and didn’t immediately burst into laughter. I didn’t completely click with him at that point, but watching that one little thing turn into a running gag constantly coming back to undermine everything else that was amazing about him really set my feelings in stone... pun completely intended. I’ve loved him ever since. That inspiration and adoration has only grown with time.

What keeps your inspiration going?

Quite a few things. Aside from the constant love pouring from my being, I love looking at highly detailed stonework. It’s beautiful. Scrolling through rolling mountain landscapes, listening to certain songs, daydreaming in between sentences. I never really lose inspiration for Pica. Something new hits me every day in the most mundane tasks. A lot of it does go unshared, but some of it is personal and other times I simply don’t have the energy or reason. Very well I could be brimming with inspiration for him all day and have nowhere really to put it without excess. Getting opportunities to do so really makes me smile, though. It’s amazing how much being invested in a character will keep your inspiration at an all time high even when you’re having a rough time. Sometimes all it takes is just an extra comment from someone else or an occurrence or some kind of image to put you right back on track. For me, seeing any kind of lovely stonework or abandoned, run down places really sets my inspiration for him in motion.

Some more personal questions for the mun.

Give your mutuals some insight about the way you are in some matters, which could lead them to get more comfortable with you or perhaps not.

Do you think you give your character justice? YES / NO ( I would hope so! )

Do you frequently write headcanons? YES / NO ( I’m always thinking of new ones! )

Do you sometimes write drabbles? YES / NO ( It’s been awhile, though... )

Do you think a lot about your muse during the day? YES!! / NO

Are you confident in your portrayal? YES / NO

Are you confident in your writing? YES / NO ( Generally speaking, I try to be! )

Are you a sensitive person? YES / NO

Do you accept criticism well about your portrayal?

Actual criticism, yes. I don’t mind it. At the same time, however, I’m really just here to have a good time ─ as is everybody else. Growing and developing my writing is always a bonus when I’ve the experience here in an environment I’m comfortable with, but critique isn’t exactly something I go hunting for. I’m here to write the characters I love and adore and honestly, sometimes, it’s better to have the freedom to do things as you wish without the worry of receiving it, no matter how well-intended it may be. It’s all chill times and good vibes doing what we enjoy most.

Do you like questions, which help you explore your character?

Absolutely! I love randomly being sent things that keep me thinking with any character. I’m always looking for little intricacies and tidbits to really bring them to life. Sometimes it takes a bit for me to think of something appropriate but I always appreciate the brain candy when it comes to new details! It goes without saying that I’ll happily accept anything that gives reason to my constant, aimless musings related to Pica.

If someone disagrees to a headcanon of yours, do you want to know why?

Yes and no? I always love hearing other ideas on why someone else’s headcanons differ from my own. For all I know it might be enough to change my mind or, at the very least, give me a different perspective on something I’ve never thought about before. I’m always curious about stuff when it relates to a character I love. As long as they’re not rude about it and we’ve talked to the point it’s not out of the blue, it’s okay. On the other hand, it doesn’t really matter if someone disagrees. We all have our own headcanons and it’s very easy to be respectful about them. Despite what has already been said, there’s a high chance I’m going to keep to my own headcanons as they are regardless, because I put a lot of thought and heart into them. Someone disagreeing with them at face value isn’t going to make me up and throw all that work in the trash just like that.

If someone disagrees with your portrayal, how would you take it?

That’s okay. There are plenty of different ways to interpret a character. People are allowed to like and dislike whatever portrayal they so choose, so long as they’re not bashing anyone outright. I would much prefer that be something that’s kept to oneself, however. It’s very easy to simply ignore something you don’t agree with, and it’s just as easy to be kind about things when expressing your own thoughts in comparison with theirs. Plus, there’s always making your own blog and writing whoever however you please! Someone out there is bound to enjoy whatever portrayal you prefer. ♥

If someone really hates your character, how do you take it?

Not personal, certainly, unless it was somehow directed at me personally. It’s very understandable. There’s a lot of potential present for actual progressing development, but on the surface Pica is very dislike-able. It’s very clear his purpose was to act as a stepping stone for another major character’s development and there wasn’t much left beyond that. Of course it’s always a sad thing being hopelessly attached to a character like that but as an avid lover of what are often viewed as very minor, niche characters, it’s something I’m very much used to. Perhaps not intense hate in every case, per se, but underappreciated. It just so happens that Pica is... not exactly a good person, putting it kindly. But that’s just another reason I love him so much as a character.

Are you okay with people pointing out your grammatical errors?

Sure! Though chances are I’ve probably already noticed at that point and have been embarrassed about it/fixed it. I’ve probably made many over the years and also not realized it. Most of the time it’s something minor anyway, and a lot of people just naturally read it as it’s supposed to be read. So there’s no trouble!

Do you think you are easy going as a mun?

I’d certainly like to think so! I tend to be very patient and accommodating. I wholeheartedly stand beside the idea that RPing is meant to be fun and enjoyable and not something that causes more stress. People should take their time with things and set their own pace. Being comfortable is part of what makes RP the wonderful hobby that it is. Really that applies to any hobby, but there are many little things that can turn someone away from doing something they love at any given time. There’s nothing that would hurt me more than unintentionally making something someone enjoys a chore for them. I try my best to make sure everyone knows that I’m really just a chill little bun having a good time doting on characters I love. Pica might not be cordial, but I certainly try to be!

That’s about it, congrats for filling out!

🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉

tagged by. @tenyxshx ─ thank you flamingo nerd ♥ ilu

#♠ // * etc ( pica. )#❥ // * passing bottles off the walls ( games. )#❥ // * ever running on stories of the sea ( long post. )#❥ // * the rabbit stowaway ( ooc. )#|| you knew I'd pick pica you heathen!#as if I'd ever NOT pick him for something like this.#''this won't be that long'' I say as it takes me an entire day to get to it.#sometimes you just get going and then you can't stop.#also this was a nice change of pace! it was fun!#clearly since I went nuts filling it out dskdkdskdks ||

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redemptioninterlude · 4 years ago

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45 Oop

a softer world meme ( accepting < my fave meme ever ) + @joc-cook // cook 45. when I picture you with your new lover I get angry, and then sad, then kinda horny. (I miss you)

The problems begin when she accidentally fucks Cook.

Now, that’s nobody’s fault, really. They’re both on Molly and she can kind of remember it, bits and flashes and how they laugh too much while it’s happening, and its eased of the awkward pretension that she’s always known before when it comes to intimacy of any kind, how she doesn’t know how to navigate, both rudderless and without compass. She doesn’t remember who starts it but, she remembers KISSING HIM and the taste of cigarettes and weed and cheap beer, and it’s all a mess from there, and she might have even enjoyed it, which feels weird for her, the girl who never really knew what it was like to sleep with someone without feeling some sense of pressure weighing down on her chest, some obligation that she felt she had to fulfill.

No, this was...

....

She doesn’t want to think about it.

It wells up inside of herself and there’s nothing she knows about this feeling, how it’s torrid and messy, and Rue’s never really liked that, that’s why she’s always riding the crest and the wave of YET ANOTHER HIGH, and this is just... this is just. A bad fucking idea. Cook’s out of control, and she’s a god damn disaster, and they are a whirlwind of things best left undone, unsaid, and they went and fucked that all up and she was the one sneaking out of her own place after shamefully picking up her clothes from the floor and getting dressed in the hallway just so that she could escape, unseen, unheard, with one sock and a sweater that she’d rescued off of the floor, and her hair a mess, just like she is on the inside.

Things carry on, like normal.

That’s what she ought to want, isn’t it? But there’s something that feels itchy when she sees him, and it’s nothing to do with him having anything (she hopes, did they use a condom?), but she’s ducking, weaving, it’s HARD TO BREATHE when she sees in him the dark, in flashing moments, lit up with his stupid smile and that roar he does when he’s rolling deep and heavy. Suddenly the drugs don’t do enough, and he’s not about os she’s tasting what sobriety is like, for a bit, that is, but the places here are wash with people who will give you pills for a kiss and a a dance and she remembers what it’s like to be all used up again, and the balance feels a little bit restored, doesn’t it? It’s easy when everyone’s either a friend, or the enemy, and nobody’s supposed to be fucking their friends and she’s kind of blurred the lines for that, hasn’t she?

Empty streets, but she sees him still, with some new girl (brunette, this time), and he doesn’t see her, or if he does, he doesn’t show it, no screams of RUESTER above the din, like she’ll fucking wake him up with a crow at the top of her lungs (what did she sound like, then?). It feels a bit wrenching, all rough and tumble shitty, like it did finding out that Jules had slept with Anna without her ever saying as much, as it did watching her smile for somebody else when she was staring at her with eyes wide open, begging without the words, look at me, but... but this isn’t it, it can’t be it, and she feels loathing boil like acid from the pits of her stomach, angry because this isn’t right, this shouldn’t be, and she knows fucking better than this. Everyone’s always talking about, sex like it’s transactional or an act to get what you want, so... what the fuck was this, even?

Another night, she’s got black hair this time hanging off his arm, or maybe she doesn’t, Rue, can’t tell the difference when she’s this drunk, coked up and, fucking feeling INVINCIBLE despite the fact that she’s got a black hole in her and they haven’t talked in like, maybe 5 days. He could have called, but Rue isn’t looking, she feels fucking weird, and she’s trying to find a new vice, but instead she’s looking at the bottom of a bottle of tequila and feeling kind of depressed, like she’s on the come down from the Molly they took, but that was like, days ago. Still. Skips another meal, buys another drink, and, her cheeks are warm, and so’s her body, she’s feeling all flash-bang-p o p. And still no Cook, but if she turns around she knows she’ll see, some new lover, some new sweetheart for the evening, and it makes her feel...

It makes her f e e l....

Fucking confused. Like the end of this night, with her head still spun, and her face pressed against the pillows of her room where the sheets are forever twisted, and, she thinks about him and his hands on someone else and it reminds of the way that fentanyl like, HITS YOU DIFFERENT, gets you spun, how it felt so fucking good she couldn’t remember how anything else ever compared, and maybe that’s this, maybe that’s why her fingers slide beneath the covers to touch herself and she’s thinking about, those little flashes of memory and, what it felt like not to care for the first time, in maybe like, ever, and she cums without thinking, palm over her mouth to stifle the sound, dazed, confused, spent.

#joc-cook #❝ r. bennett ❞ ┆ canon verse ┆ drugs are kind of cool !#❝ r. bennett ❞ ┆ meme reply ┆ everything feels so permanent !

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vankoya · 7 years ago

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Can you believe I stuck with a persona for a whole year? No, neither can I. But I have somehow managed to be Ivory for the entirety of 2017, and I deem that an accomplishment in itself. Here is to hoping I can stick with her for 2018!!

The past year has been interesting, to say the least. A lot of good shit happened; a lot of bad shit happened. But we made it!! I was away at university for a good five months of it, which was such an eye-opening experience and I am super excited to get back into my second semester at the end of February. Because of this, I definitely did not get to do as much writing as I hoped, but that’s okay!! Life happens like that!! I am wishing that this year will bring me more opportunities to write, and that while I am at university, I can manage my time better to fit writing in. Fingers crossed.

Thank you all for sticking through this year with me. I love all of you so much, and I am so proud of how far everyone has come. I hope each and every one of you has a fresh new year of exciting beginnings, loads of happiness and love, that inspirational drive you have been searching for, and above all, great health. I promise we are all going to kick ass in 2018!! We got this!!

Without further ado, let’s get to the sappy messages.

@vantesoleil – Hey, best friend. You don’t even use Tumblr anymore, but how could I make a post like this without including your bitch ass? Thank you for coming into my life almost two years ago now. You make every single day so much brighter, and I am beyond grateful to have you there to talk about everything and anything. Whether it is guiding each other through hard times as a shoulder to lean on, or thirsting over unspeakable things, or sending ugly ass snapchats, or blatantly sassing one another with the craftiest insults ever, or coming up with the wildest nicknames. You are my rock. You are my sunshine. I love you!!! Thank you for being an incredible, talented person!!!

@baeseoul – Katie, where do I even start? Most of our conversations are in complete caps lock, and are about sex toys or a certain someone whom we both adore with our whole hearts, and I would not have it any other way. We have always been in contact for the past few years, but it was not until the last two or so months that we have really connected and delved so much deeper into our sweet, yet nasty little friendship. You are hands down one of the most inspirational, talented, a goddamn hilarious people I have ever had the utter pleasure of meeting. I have never, ever met someone who can not only craft such unique, gripping fan fiction, but come up with the wildest fucking analogies for literally ANY situation. For example: “I slid off the fucking toilet and almost died. I shit you not, I was like a bumblebee in a particularly strong gust of wind.” Please. Thank you for being you. Thank you for being as hard a procrastinator as I am. I love you so much, even when you make up my author preferences in your head!!! (Who the fuck is Edgar!!!)

@versigny – Kappy, we are coming into our third year of friendship and it is so fucking cool to think about that. Three years of being friends. Holy moly. I cannot express how downright bloody happy I am that we had the chance to meet and become buddies. You are not only such a selfless, kindhearted, precious being, but you simultaneously manage to be so filthy-minded, meme-y, and absolutely hilarious. One of my earliest memories of when we were still budding pals in 2015 was when you messaged me, nervous about posting The Take-Home Test (and then you DID and it blew the fuck up and we could not BELIEVE you lured hundreds of people into the kink realm of armpits and it was fucking awesome.) I have adored watching you grow into such a stunning writer, and a brilliant human being in general. Seeing that you have messaged me, or sent me a 4:20am/pm snapchat, or replied to my tweet, or fucking anything that involves you interacting with me makes my day and I smile so, so much. I love you!!! (I think of you whenever I hear this heavenly song, but you know that already!!!)

@tayegi / @kingdomtae / @dailydoseofdia / @floralseokjin / @kittae / @the95liner / @kimtrain – I am grouping all of you together because I want to say the same thing to each of you wonderful, talented ladies. We came together over such a shitty occurrence. But, unbelievably, there was a bright side, and that was all of us becoming the most supportive circle of friends I have ever been a part of. All seven of you are immensely talented, and such beautiful, sweet people, and I am beyond honoured that I am friends with each of you. Thank you for always helping me through my shit, and thank you for coping with my randomly thirsty ass in the group chat. I love you girls so much!!!

@tayegi / @softshow-12 / @heungtanbts / @yuudetama – Lu, J, Hyun, and Yuu. You fabulous women will always, always have such a warm presence in my heart that is overwhelmed by love. All of us are crazy busy with real life and all that fun, adulting shit, but nothing will ever break the Holy Quintet. We are bloody invincible. Three years and still going strong as ever. Here’s to our New Year’s resolution of doing a Google Hangout this year, for the first time in two years!!! I love you, my cactus dildo babies!!!

@war-of-hormoan – Rams, you are too special to me. I am so glad to have met you last year, because you are such a delightful, supportive, and all-round fabulous friend. We are both so shitty at keeping in contact, but that is okay, because no matter how much time passes between our last sent messages, we always jump straight back into conversing like we were only talking five minutes ago!! I truly treasure you, and I am so proud of you and everything you have accomplished this past year. You are amazing, never forget that!! I love you!!!

And here is a special shout out to the most wonderful, talented people who I have had the absolute pleasure of interacting with and/or befriending over the past year(s), and admire more than I can express. I wish all of you the absolute best for 2018, and hope that your health and happiness is bountiful!!

#appreciation post #I love you all!!!!!#if I missed u pls SLAP me #I am so bad with things like this

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lunapaper · 4 years ago

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The year was 2010. Emo was just starting to die out (long live the scene). I was studying to become a secondary school teacher, and Katy Perry was shooting whipped cream out of her boobs...

Second albums, more often than not, fail to live up to the hype. And yet, Teenage Dream has somehow endured.

While Perry’s 2008 debut, One of the Boys, launched her into the mainstream, it really hasn’t aged all that well. On tracks like ‘Self Inflicted’ and ‘Fingerprints,’ she tries way too hard to emulate Paramore’s bold pop punk. On others, she attempts to rebel against her gospel roots by turning the bawdiness up to 10.

It can also come off pretty juvenile at times. The singer was almost 25 when she sang on the title track: ‘So over the summer, something changed/I started reading Seventeen and shaving my legs/And I studied Lolita religiously/And I walked right in to school and caught you staring at me.’

But let’s be honest: Even though it’s been declared ~problematic~, you still jam out to ‘I Kissed A Girl’ when you hear it, don’t you? I hadn’t listened to ‘Ur So Gay’ before this, either, but its slinky, jazz-infused vibe absolutely slaps.

Like Teenage Dream is also a product of its time, presenting pop at its most sugary, hook-laden and bombastic. It managed to spawn 5 No.1 singles, the second album in history to do so after Michael Jackson’s Bad, as well as a documentary, Part of Me. There’s even a deluxe edition, cleverly titled The Complete Confection. It was Perry at her peak.

You know the title track, of course. Evoking images of cherry red lipstick, tight denim and driving down an empty highway in summer, Perry desperately clings to the memory of young love, breathlessly pleading ‘don’t ever look back, don’t ever look back.’

‘The One That Got Away,’ meanwhile, is its bittersweet sequel, Perry's lovesick nostalgia now tinged with regret. Yet, the only thing I really remember about the song is the video starring Cassian Andor himself, Diego Luna, as Perry’s past love, the beautifully dishevelled and tortured artist of my dreams (Dear God, that penetrating stare...) He’s also the only reason why anyone bothered to watch Dirty Dancing: Havana Nights, if it wasn’t already obvious.

First single ‘California Gurls,’ on the other hand, is pure pop exuberance at its most campy and carefree, indicative of a more innocent time when it wasn’t driven by algorithms or social media. ‘Firework’ is still a go-to empowerment anthem for just about every kind of montage imaginable. ‘ET’ (featuring a pre-’presidential’ Kanye) is heavily-synthesised cyber pop that doesn’t get nearly enough love.

But Teenage Dream, in retrospect, has quite a few misses. ‘Peacock’ is just one big, long, glitchy dick joke. ‘Not Like The Movies’ is big ballad schmaltz. The brassy soft rock of ‘Hummingbird Heartbeat,’ meanwhile, opens with a hell of a line: ‘You make me feel like I'm losing my virginity/The first time, every time when you're touching me.’ And I’m pretty sure ‘What Am I Living For?’ is partly plagiarised from Justin Timberlake’s ‘My Love.’ Even Pitchfork awarded Teenage Dream a rather tame 6.8 in their recent retrospective review.

By the time Perry released Prism in 2013 – her ‘darker, moodier’ record - she had shifted further into ‘inspirational anthems.’ There was the inescapable mega-hit ‘Roar,’ the saccharine power ballad ‘Unconditionally’ and the Eastern-tinged ‘Legendary Lovers,’ complete with wellness and spiritual motifs.

But it wasn’t without its bangers: ‘Dark Horse’ (featuring Juicy J) jumped onto the trap pop bandwagon just in time with its subterranean bass and eerie, otherworldly synths. Even the slick, 90s-indebted ‘This Is How We Do’ has a certain charm.

Prism also marked the point where Perry’s invincibility began to wear off. Where the masses once lapped up her candy-coated antics, they were now calling her out for wearing braids in the video for ‘This Is How We Do’ and dressing up as a geisha during a performance at the American Music Awards.

And they would only get louder during her era of ‘purposeful pop.’ Released in the aftermath of the 2016 US election, Witness was meant to cement Perry as ‘Artist. Activist. Conscious’ - as her Twitter bio read at the time. She had joined Hillary Clinton on the campaign trail. On Instagram, she was quoting the likes of Socrates and Plato. She was Woke now, and she was telling anyone who’d listen.

Yet you’d be hard pressed to find much trace of this ‘purposeful pop’ on Witness, bar the first single, ‘Chained to the Rhythm.’ Written with Sia and Max Martin, the singer implores listeners to ‘put your rose-coloured glasses on and party on’ amid whirling, colourful synths.

The rest of the record, however, is made up of either soppy, overly sentimental ballads (‘Save As Draft,’ ‘Pendulum,’ ‘Into Me You See’), awkward lyrical turns and CHVRCHES/Purity Ring knock-offs (‘Hey Hey Hey,’ ‘Roulette,’ ‘Deja Vu’).

Funnily enough, Purity Ring’s Corin Roddick produced some of Witness’ better tracks: ‘Mind Maze’ and the soaring ballad ‘Miss You More, along with ‘Bigger Than Me.’

Final track ‘Act My Age,’ meanwhile, feels like a pre-emptive strike against the criticism Witness would inevitably receive (‘They say that I might lose my Midas touch/They also say I may become irrelevant/But who the fuck are they anyway?’).

Then there’s the godawful ‘Bon Appetit’ (featuring Migos) with its food-related double entendres. It was ‘Yummy’ before ‘Yummy’ existed. Seriously, I just wanna see Orlando Bloom say he likes this song with a straight face...

But I will still defend ‘Swish Swish’ to the death. Do the lyrics suck? Yeah, but Perry’s never been the strongest lyricist. But its pulsing 90s house beat does a lot of the heavy lifting, along with Nicki Minaj’s spitfire verse.

The promotional rollout for Witness, meanwhile, proved just as messy. Among the most infamous was a 72-hour livestream, where voyeurs got to witness Perry sleep, meditate, do yoga and welcome a random assortment of guests, including Gordon Ramsey and activist DeRay McKesson. Then there was the meme-laden video for ‘Swish Swish. She literally served herself up on a platter in the clip for ‘Bon Appetit.’ She tried reigniting her feud with Taylor Swift on James Corden’s Carpool Karaoke. Needless to say, it reeked of desperation.

Looking back, though, you can’t help but feel a little bad for Perry, trying so hard to please only for it to blow up spectacularly in her face. So devastated, it sent her to the Hoffman Institute, which offers an abridged version of therapy. As she later told the Guardian:

‘I think the universe was like, ‘OK, all right, let’s have some humble pie here […] My negative thoughts were not great. They didn’t want to plan for a future. I also felt like I could control it by saying, ‘I’ll have the last word if I hurt myself or do something stupid and I’ll show you’ — but really, who was I showing?’

But although Witness lacked the perkiness of Teenage Dream or the cartoonish charm of One of the Boys, it shines best on its darker moments.

‘Dance With The Devil’ has the kind of smoky allure that wouldn’t look too out of place on a BANKS album, while ‘Power’ is a revelation. Produced by Jack Garrett, what could’ve been yet another dull empowerment ballad is turned into a gritty, groaning slab of vaporwave pop, with sultry sax riffs that sample, of all things, Smokey Robinson’s ‘Being With You.’ It’s electric as fuck. You believe it when Perry sings: ‘’Cause I'm a goddess and you know it/Some respect, you better show it/I'm done with you siphoning my power.’

If the singer had just done away with the whole ‘purposeful pop’ concept and stuck with Garrett, Roddick and Terror Jr’s Felix Snow as her core producing group, Witness probably wouldn’t have been half the failure it was. It could’ve had a chance to grow on people, the kind of slow burn Perry could’ve gotten away with at this point in her career. The cyberpop dystopian feel also could’ve gone hand in hand with her newfound wokeness, echoing people’s fear and anger in the aftermath of Trump’s win. But alas, we’ll never know...

While the rollout for Witness over the top, Smile’s was lacklustre and wildly inconsistent.

First single ‘Never Really Over’ came out a whole 15 months before the release of Smile to little fanfare, along with a hippie-inspired video to match. ‘Harleys in Hawaii’ later followed, which also stuck with the flower power aesthetic. Other singles - ‘Daisies’ and the title track – seemingly came and went without a trace.

So how did Katy Perry get to this point? And is there any chance of coming back?

It’s hard to say. A lot of artists go through a rough patch or two: Miley's twerking antics divided audiences when she released 2013’s Bangerz. Taylor Swift’s reputation divided audiences. Only in recent years has Lady Gaga’s ARTPOP been vindicated. Such is the nature of music and pop culture in general. It’s fickle, just one vicious cycle after another; an endless quest for trend-bait that'll never end.

Right now, disco pop is going through a renaissance, while hyperpop reigns supreme. Dua Lip and Charli XCX are basically untouchable at the moment. TikTok has taken over from Top 40 radio when it comes to breaking hits, while the gap between album releases has also grown shorter and shorter. Even the nature of fandom has changed, shifting from old-school elitism to the bloodsport that is ‘stanning,’ along with an unhealthy amount of ‘endless simping’ (to quote a close friend of mine).

Perry, meanwhile, has failed to keep up, choosing to play it safe in order to avoid further scrutiny. But in doing so, she strips away the humour, the mischief and other idiosyncrasies that fans fell in love with in the first place.

But what choice did she have? As Junkee’s Sam Murphy notes in his own piece about Perry’s rise and fall:

‘At that point, you have two choices as a popstar — hunt for relevancy or make what comes naturally to you. Perry chose the former and came unstuck. She inserted vague wokeness into her songs as cancel culture infiltrated pop, tacked on rap features as hip-hop became the dominant commercial genre, and worked with producers who may have been able to find her credibility.’

(Full disclosure: I started writing my piece on Perry back in December 2020, so the timing of Murphy’s piece and mine is purely coincidental).

Even if you don’t believe in cancel culture, no one actually wants to be cancelled. It’s just not good for PR, especially for someone with an image as glossy and as carefully put-together as Perry’s. Even now, she continues to atone for Witness, telling the LA Times: ‘Having more awareness and consciousness, I no longer can just be a blissful, ignorant idealist who sings about love and relationships […] Even my travels have afforded me a new perspective on cultures, class systems and the inequality around the world, not just in the United States,’ though she carefully avoids the subject of politics on Smile.

But redemption is possible. Swift – Perry's one-time nemesis - was a total pariah back in 2016, mocked for her Girl Squad, for diddling the Hiddles while on the rebound from Calvin Harris and criticised for remaining coy on her political leanings. Now she’s earning indie cred with two of 2020’s biggest albums, folklore and evermore, and has thrown her support behind a number of social causes.

The devil works hard, but Swift’s PR team work harder. I might not be her biggest fan, but Taylor works Kris Jenner levels of mastery when it comes to rebuilding public sentiment. Thanks to her newfound indie cred, you’ve almost forgotten about the pastel atrocity ‘Me!,’ her 2019 duet with that insufferable drama kid cliché, Brendon Urie. Shifting her songs away from petty grievances to more original storytelling was also a smart move.

But while Swift has managed to move on, Perry seems to have fallen into the same adult contemporary trap as Gwen Stefani, Kelly Clarkson, Christina Aguilera and Pink, one that ensnares many female artists over 30 (Though many have also managed to escape – Gaga, Taylor, Beyonce, Rihanna, Kesha, Robyn...)

As ‘woke’ as the industry and fans at large might think themselves to be, they’re still pretty ageist. There's still an expectation to ‘mature’ your sound as you age, to become more ‘serious.’ No more fun, no more experimenting, boomer. But when you do end up filing away the edges, you’re called dull, generic and past your prime. Perry said as much on the aforementioned ‘Act My Age. You just. can't. win.

And yet, many female artists over 30 have created some of their best work yet in just the past year or so: Hayley Williams made the dramatic shift from pop rock to low-key, Radiohead-inspired tunes on her solo debut, Petals For Armor. Fiona Apple’s Fetch the Bolt Cutters was hailed by critics as her most bold, urgent and visceral. Jessie Ware’s What’s Your Pleasure? was a cut of understated disco pop elegance. Carly Rae Jepsen, meanwhile, released an equally stellar companion to 2019’s Dedicated.

At this point in her career, Perry could afford to follow a similar path to that of the Canadian singer. Once the meme value of ‘Call Me Maybe’ wore off, along with her mainstream appeal, Jepsen finally had a chance to discover real creative freedom, pushing her sound to greater heights and earning critical acclaim, all without having to compromise her love for catchy hooks and bold synth pop arrangements.

A couple of years ago, a Reddit user made a post about participating in a focus group held by Perry’s label to discuss why she’s ‘no longer one of the[ir] most notable female pop artists,’ and ‘what can [they] do with her image or marketing to make you care about her again?’

It’s depressing to think that an artist as accomplished as her needs a focus group to help solve her identity crisis. There really is no easy answer. Hopefully, Perry will be able to return more vibrant and assured than ever, on her own terms...

-Bianca B.

#music #katy perry #longform #opinion #new #Bianca B

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richiethereptilianplant · 7 years ago

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"I THINK SV ROBERTS & TRISHA PAYTAS RUINED MY LIFE”

There’s this place I used to go to in my teenage years of mischievous boners and sad boy playlists on my iPod classic. It was tucked behind the railroad tracks that wound around the neighborhood I lived in. The neighborhood being a once proud jewel of the new housing development to the Arvada foothills. Sometimes I’d go there instead of school. I didn’t do drugs or drink booze there - just liked to go and sit. Sometimes I’d bring a book, or some paper to write on - I thought of myself Ralston Valley’s own JD Salinger.

To get there you needed to sneak out of my basement room, which was easy if you knew how to fo it. Every 30 minutes, either the fan or heater would blow a loud grinding sound through the house, masking any sound like rain on footprints. Then it was up the drain ladder and into the surreal echoless rows of patterned homes in this little village of women with nice hair, and husbands with plaid shorts. Every night I would sneak out of this house. I would meet some girl, other times I would go by myself. I would reach the edge of the homes to a park. There, a tall and mighty high lamp-post stood. Spreading a spotlight presence across everywhere. Someone could see every feature on my dumb little face and could report the authorities that a minor was out past his bed time. But for some reason, I would reach the edge, and that light would shut off. As if this place wanted me to enter.

And just like that, I would cross the train tracks. And venture into this unknown. And no one would ever know where I was. The only friends I would ever need at this time would be the people on my iPod. And it was mine. It was all mine for the taking. A fort of paradise and no one ever knew it existed out there beyond the border of my bubble.

I brought my first love to this spot. My one and only S.V. Roberts. The one who I was supposed to spend the rest of my life with. And it was her that I made this spot home with. We would climb trees, put gum under desks, and it felt like we could smoke batteries - we’d be just fine. Because we were invincible. Being with her was like living the lyrics of a white stripes song. We made fun of jocks, and liked to make-out under the big oak tree in our own little home near those railroad tracks. And on prom night, the cliche’s of all cliche’s, I lost my virginity with her in the back of a student driver car. I was 16 and the world felt like it was mine. And then she was gone. And I haven’t really kept in touch.

I don’t exactly remember it very well. One day we just stopped holding hands. And I would spend an entire summer going to that spot. Sitting under the trees. Thinking of S.V. Roberts. One day I didn’t go. And then I didn’t go for a week; and then a month. And since then I have never been back. I found a pack of lucky strike cigarettes and started seeing someone who I didn’t really like, or want to be with. She was cute. And mean. And not really the person I wanted. And one day I got her pregnant. And another day she got an abortion and then we stopped talking. And I never have really spoken to her since.

From there I think I just wanted someone next to me. A blur of faces and hair. Some lasted longer than others. Some were funny. Some were just one tear away from sobbing. Some were lonely like me, and others were just using me to get back at their boyfriends. Some I lived with. Others I just saw on the weekends. But I made sure to never bring them back to that place. That special place that I kept really far away.

But one day that changed. It was about a week from Valentines day and I was with some mistake, and that’s when I saw her. Hidden under some scarf - she had the bangs of a record store clerk and the nose ring of a band groupie. She had bright blue eyes. And no matter how hard I made sure not to look at her, I could feel her looking at me. And in that moment, I let her into that place behind those railroad tracks.

To even write down the feelings I had for this stupid woman, would honestly take too long, and it wouldn’t really do very good justice. She wasn’t perfect. She was a trashy mess at times. She liked to hit stuff when she was angry and would have me dying of laughter. Was she the one? Is she the one? I don’t know. Anyway, one day we sorta fell out of love. And decided to stay together to see if we could fix it. But we couldn’t. And now she isn’t exactly in my life. I think what I miss most is her company. The way she smells. The way my hand fell perfectly on her waist when we laid next to each other. Her racist and sexist memes. Her stupid youtube videos. But these are all just materialistic things to love about someone. The only real reason I could give you is that she just did it. What it is, and how she did it is something for me to know.

Well, I ran into S.V. Roberts on Cinco De Mayo - she was at a bar I like to go to with her friend, I just watched her enter and sit in the corner. She saw me. I know she did. But there was no hello. She was just another stranger. No feelings of teenage dreams. And then the moment left and I sat listening to my friends argue, and I started thinking about someone else. I don’t know how long it takes for the wounds I have to heal. And I don’t know if Miss Blue eyes is ever going to send me memes, or kiss my neck, force me to watch trash TV again, eat pizza and let her talk about Trisha Paytas again. But I will miss it.

I found out about a year ago that my spot was eventually bulldozed. And there’s some houses built there now. And the light switched off because, like the heater and air conditioner, it was set on a timer. And I know that we all have to except the reality of the situation. And maybe the reality is that the time I spent with Blue was just a sliver in the vast cosmic fate of humanity. But it was a lot of fun. And I had a really good time. And when I see her again, I’ll make sure to make her smile, and smile wide. She likes it when I smile. And I’ll make sure to hug her tight. And if she’s with someone I’ll be polite. Maybe it will be in New York in five years. Maybe it will be in Tokyo in twenty. Maybe it will be in Denver tomorrow. I think the point is that she’ll know. And I’ll know, and in that way, we did it.

#writing #love #sad #trashmemesandTV #buttstuff #trisha paytas

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deliverydefresas · 7 years ago

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with my head in the clouds, i start to run and then i fall

I’m not sure what this is??? but i guess i can describe them as smol drabbles of simbar moments we’ve had so far.

Possibly a part 1, not sure yet about that, lmao.

No, it’s not proofread.

She doesn’t know why she does it at first; why her instincts tell her to convince him she’s changed.

Part of her thinks it’s because he’s liked by everyone, that because if Simón believes it then Luna and everyone else will, too. Another part, a smaller one, isn’t as convinced. After all, he’s a great partner, and has always been nice to her. He’s never done something to justify her faulting him.

But, she can’t afford to be merciful, or emotional, or weak. From now on he’s just another pawn, another piece in the game she’s been carefully planning. She can’t afford to lose anything else, her pride is wounded enough.

The smaller part is ignored.

When she succeeds, and the situation is done, he’s just going to be residual effect; nothing of importance.

She should’ve known better, though. Because, just like the song says, residual effects always find a detour from the way you expect them to take.

It’s almost comical how easily he trusts her.

She hadn’t been sure how to approach him, but now she has Jazmín’s stupid crush to thank. It seems, it’s made the girl smarter and helpful for once.

Their time together is filled with music, and the occasional small talk at first. He doesn’t fully trust her, but he’s keeping an open mind and more importantly, he’s willing to give her the sense of doubt. He hesitates at first, not sure what to make out of her, but soon enough he’s buying her act. A smile, a few compliments and false self-pitying words and Ámbar knows she’s successfully sold her performance.

She’s trying to keep it light, following almost everything he’s telling her to change about her song. It’s easy, since he’s focusing solely on the task in the beginning; then, of course, Simón being Simón, throws the ‘f’ word at her.

He wants her to feel the song.

She tries not to let it show that she’s offended, especially after he asked her not to be offended, but she is. Never one to turn down a challenge, she tries it.

And fails.

So, she focuses on him, promising she’s going to keep trying later, asking him to sing the song he’s chosen for himself. He denies her, and she can’t help to question him. Suddenly, she realizes she’s willingly asked about him and his problems, shocked to find that she’s interested in the answer. She even gives him advice.

It’s almost comical how easily she broke out of her act, and didn’t even realize.

Jazmín is unbearable with her jealousy.

She reassures her he’s just a part of her plan, and lies when she tells her they talk about the redhead when they’re alone.

Both are lies.

He’s back at it again with the feelings. She tries, and succeeds, but it’s not enough yet. She’s going to keep trying. Ámbar Smith doesn’t settle for less.

He goes on about the meaning, about how the other person makes you feel like you’re touching the sky and being two fireflies. (He calls her pretty). She wants to scream at him that she knows, that she’s the one that wrote it, that’s not her fault she just can’t connect with it as much because it just hasn’t happened yet.

She doesn’t.

Instead he’s not-so-subtly asking her to leave him alone so he can rehearse his song. Ámbar’s been curious to find out what he’s singing, so she insists on staying and offer her two cents. It’s obvious to her the song has a deep meaning to him, since each word is coated with emotion. He’s also nervous, so she claps and cheers him a little more than necessary, but still offers her honest opinion. After that, she reminds herself what his purpose to her is, so she suggests him to ask Luna for help; she knows by now that it would create a conflict if she was helping Matteo, too. When it’s clear her comment worked, she offers to go outside and take some time off.

He vacillates but ends up agreeing.

Then they’re outside, eating their melting ice cream, he tells her just how much Reik’s song means to him. Apparently, it’s the first he learned to play on his guitar, and one of his grandmother’s favorites, who he loves dearly and has a special place in his heart because of this.

She feels a lot better when she knows it’s not completely about Lunita.

Ámbar doesn’t let herself dig into that.

She steals Simón’s guitar thingy, and her plan goes perfectly when Luna misses half of Balsano’s performance.

But, of course, she gets back just in time to see the end, and Matteo doesn’t waste time to show just how cheesy he can be. It fails, so she might as well go and try to gain brownie points with Simón when she ‘finds’ the missing piece.

He’s so thankful he kisses her hand.

She grins.

Ámbar has to remind him to go on stage or else he’d be automatically disqualified; and even if she doesn’t plan on him to win, he deserves to at least have a fair chance. She owes him that.

She calls for Jazmín, and her idiot of a friend has the audacity to defy her.

The make-up is horrible, unsalvageable. And then he’s there, offering his support and reassuring her that if anyone would be able to pull it off, it’d be her. His words are magic because they work. She doesn’t feel pretty, but she feels confident, and she’s so moved, she’s suddenly hugging him as tightly as she can.

He hugs her back, and she allows herself a couple seconds there. His arms feel very good, and his aroma is really, really nice. The feeling of someone else’s eyes makes her own open, Jazmín’s thrown aback face make her feel smug because her little tantrum backfired right on her ass. So, she hugs him a little tighter, smirk visible to her so-called-friend just for two seconds, before she pretends to notice her.

She tries to play the hurt card, but Simón won’t allow it. He dares to defend Jazmín. She’s pissed at this, but conceals it as nicely as she can and asks him to leave them alone so they can talk. Ámbar knows just what words to say to leave her feeling worse, and then sends her away too.

She needs a few moments more to talk herself into performing.

Eyes on her had never bothered her before, but now all she can think about it’s how much they’re judging her and the meme’s the internet will offer later. She scans the crowd, and her gaze sets on him.

He’s smiling, nodding for her to see he’s there, encouraging.

So, she sings.

Ámbar belts out every word, her eyes searching. every other lyric, to his direction just so she can confirm his attention is still on her. Between the cheers the crowd’s giving and Jazmín’s pout because her little charade didn’t work, she feels invincible.

All attention is on her, and she loves it. For the first time in what feels like forever, she feels on top, in control. She feels at home.

The song ends and she feels both smug, and proud of herself. Her eyes flicker to his without her consent, and find his proud grin and approving face – a look she hadn’t seen in a while directed at her. It feels super nice.

She likes it.

Ámbar doesn’t know it yet, but if the song wasn’t about him before, it sure is now.

#simbar #soy luna #simón álvarez #ámbar smith #my sl ff #my simbar ff #again im not even sure where im going with this but i hope you enjoy at least

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