#that my portfolio/assignment is not nearly done enough for me to actually go down whatever wormhole this has the potential to be

[straykats]

little ramble about queer vocab in viet <3

so im. thinking about how the only word i know that means 'gay' is 'be de' (spelt here without the proper letters but anyways) and thats actually a slur, the equivalent of the f-slur, and how the only other word i know that connotes being gay is 'bong' (not pronounced like a bong btw but like. bohwm? idk man, once again not spelt right - im not a tually sure of the spelling tbf) and how that only implies being gay and does not actually mean it. it's the word you'd use in conversation when referring to someone who is gay, the same way people probably do the "you know, he's [the hand thing]" and i'm thinking about how the word be de was only brought into the vietnamese vocabulary through french colonistion and prior to that, there was no word for queer bodies. i'm thinking about how the word 'be de' was thrown around at school (because i went to afairly multi-cultural school, with a great number of vietnamese people) and how people still used the f-slur (because it was highschool and there was a thrill in using 'bad words', though of course this doesnt excuse it) but they knew it was bad, whereas be de was thrown around without much though for it. everyone knew it meant gay, also knew it could be translated to the f-slur, but it didn't carry that weight with it.

i'm thinking about how there aren't any words (or, that i'm aware of anyways. we'll get to this later) for being bisexual, for being lesbian, for being trans. how if I want to come out to my parents in my mothertongue, i will need to literally spell it out for them. take apart who i am and state it word by word. there is no word that encompasses loving more than one gender, not even a word that encompasses the queer community itself?

and perhaps i'm just not aware of it because I live outside of vietnam, but even if i try and find words, i get mixed results and then i'd need to look at if these words are the words being used by medical professionals or by the community itself? there's so much to unpack and break down if i'm to try and find a word, or a handful of words that could work. but historically, there is no word. and is that because there was never a need for the word? and if so - why was that? because queer people loved in private? because identifying yourself would be to bring harm to yourself? or maybe those words, if they exist/ed, are now kind of just... lost. no one knows them, or at least not enough people use them for them to be known.

and like. i can identify myself in one language, but not the other. i can be my full self in western culture, but not really in my viet one, and bwhilst i don't live in a world where the two are mutually exclusive, it still makes me feel really disconnected.

**please note i'm literally just rambling and thinking and i don't actually have references, nor have i acually sat down and tried to deep dive into the history of queerness in vietnam. i'm talking from my own experiences, from what i've heard from my parents, from what i know as a diasporic queer person (????)

[cosmic-hearts]

thunderstruck | yang jeongin

yang jeongin x reader - highschool!au, badboy!au

genres; romance, fluff, slice of life

warnings; none

summary; in which you’re not afraid of the school’s resident bad boy, yang jeongin, but thunderstorms terrify you.

Unamused, that’s what you are. 

You remain thoroughly unamused as Yang Jeongin towers over your desk, his school blouse wholly unbuttoned, exposing the hideous graphic T-shirt within. You wonder why this delinquent even bothers coming to school if all he’s going to do is scare people into doing his homework for him. 

“No?” He asks, his voice soft, dangerous. 

“No,” you say, voice firm with conviction. Jeongin smirks, leaning his face closer to yours. 

“You’ve got guts.”

“I don’t have guts. I have common sense. Why would I let you copy the homework I toiled over for hours last night without you giving me anything in return? That’s not how business works, buddy,” you retort, patting his shoulder and leaning back in your chair. The whole class feels the tension rising up between you two like invisible tendrils of smoke. Some curse your stupidity for talking back to Yang Jeongin, but really you would respond in the same incredulous way if anyone had asked you to let them copy your homework. You might be a model student, but you’re certainly no pushover. 

“You’d better watch your back from now on,” he warns, pushing himself off your table. You can’t help but think of how cliche he sounds. Typical empty bad boy threat. He could have tried being a little more original, more intimidating.

“I’ll be waiting,” you call out, shaking your head and returning to your philosophy essay.

—

“Mrs Park, you asked to see me?”

“Ah, my dear Y/N, my model student! Come, have a seat.”

You do as you’re told, knowing that it won’t be long before Mrs Park drops some sort of bomb on you. Maybe you’ve failed the chemistry quiz last week. You know you should have studied harder but that darned philosophy essay—

“Am I in trouble?” You ask before you can let your thoughts run wild.

“No, of course not! You could never get in trouble,” Mrs Park peers at you through her glasses, smiling in a manner that makes you want to run from the room.

“I need a favour from you. The teachers and I are very impressed with your performance this year, so we’ve decided to get your help concerning… a particular, rather trying student. Would you be up for tutoring Yang Jeongin?”

For a moment you wish you had actually failed the quiz. That would have been much better news than this. 

“I’m sorry, Mrs Park, but I’ve got a lot on my plate. I recently took up the philosophy elective so I’ll have a lot of assignments coming up—,”

“Oh, don’t worry! I’ve already spoken to your philosophy teacher and he says he’d be more than happy to extend your deadlines and let you off early from class. Plus, we all have perfect faith in your ability to manage all your work. Just to add, I know you won’t need an incentive, but you’ll be getting extra credit for this in your appraisals. Which would look really good in your testimonials and portfolio!”

You know you don’t have a choice. Mrs Park is practically forcing you into a corner; you’d look like a total ingrate if you don’t take up this offer. Plus, the extra credit you would receive would make it all worth it.“Okay. I’ll do it.”

—

And that’s how you find yourself wasting your Friday afternoon away in an empty classroom, waiting for a certain someone to show up. 

At exactly 4.30, the door opens with a loud bang! and Yang Jeongin saunters in, a swagger in his walk that grates on your nerves. You’re surprised he actually arrived on time. Heck, you’re surprised he even showed up at all. He slides in the seat next to you, a cocky smirk on his lips. 

“I told you to watch your back,” Jeongin drawls, tossing his backpack carelessly onto the floor. 

You turn on him, incredulous. “You mean you planned this?”

“Not so smart for the class valedictorian, are you?”

It takes all your willpower not to smack him across the head. Then again, he’s probably gotten into enough fights to be able to block it. 

“Whatever. At least I’m getting extra credit for this. Hurry up and get out your math stuff. We’ll be doing integration.”Jeongin surprisingly complies. You expected him to fire back with another snarky retort. 

It turns out that the teacher isn’t kidding. Jeongin needs a ton of help. He can’t even tell the difference between integration and differentiation, for crying out loud. Over the course of the next few hours you teach him the basics. He isn’t particularly rebellious or obedient towards you, he just nods and does what he’s told, and if he gets a question right he whines for a break which you deny him immediately. 

“I’m sleeeeeepy,” Jeongin whines, putting his head on the table. You glance up at the clock and get up with a start. It’s already been three hours?

“Okay, fine. We’ve done enough anyway. Next week, here, same time. You’d better show up,” you say sternly, before gathering your books and walking out. Then you hear a voice call behind you. 

“Y/N,” Jeongin says, his face serious. You’d never seen him look so austere before. Then he holds up a thin piece of material in the shape of a square. Recognizing it, you instantly blanch and scurry over to him, your cheeks rapidly turning a deep shade of crimson. In your haste to get away from him, your pad had slipped out of your pocket, fallen to the floor and got picked up by Jeongin. 

“One of those days, huh? No wonder you’re so snappish,” Jeongin remarks, smirking as you snatch the pad away from him before getting the hell away from Yang Jeongin. 

—

A week later, you’re waiting for Jeongin to show up, wondering if he’s forgotten about the lesson. Then again, it might not be such a bad thing if he fails to show up. You can get so much done for yourself without him.

Fifteen minutes after your supposed meeting time and he’s still nowhere to be found. You sigh, taking out your laptop to continue working on your philosophy essay. 

Right at that moment, the door opens with a soft click and you lift your head. Jeongin walks in quietly, not even bothering to make eye contact with you. He trudges over to the seat next to you, pulls out the chair and slumps down into it.

“Well, aren’t you punctual,” you say sarcastically. Jeongin keeps quiet, head lowered, his chin nearly touching his chest. His stormy countenance is an anomaly; usually, he’s mischievous, loud and obnoxious, even flirtatious if he feels like it. However, today he exudes a gloomy aura that stumps you. 

“W-Well, get out the stuff I asked you to do for homework.”

He reaches for his backpack stonily and pulls out a few sheets of paper, tossing them onto the desk. You take them and begin to check his answers.You’re absolutely astonished. He’s managed to get every single question correct, and his conscientious working (in his own handwriting) proves that they aren’t flukes or lucky guesses. 

“Woah, this is… this is good. No mistakes. You did well, so stop looking so glum.”

That’s when Jeongin finally looks at you, and you’re taken aback by the ferocity of his gaze. 

“Why are you surprised that I did well? You didn’t expect me to be able to do it, did you?”

You narrow your eyes at him, wondering where this sudden bout of sensitivity is coming from.

“I mean, last week, you were pretty terrible. You couldn’t even tell the difference between differentiation and integration! So honestly, I didn’t expect you to get it all correct. But I’m impressed, really.”

Your response apparently displeases Jeongin, because he slams his hand on the desk, gets up from his seat and leans closer to you, towering over you. He keeps one hand on your desk and the other on your seat, practically trapping you within his arms. You look up at him, more puzzled and bewildered than afraid.

“You must think I’m a good-for-nothing, stupid delinquent, don’t you?” “Your words, not mine.”

He narrows his eyes at you, evidently not expecting such a defiant answer from you. “What?”

“If you think of yourself that way, then that’s what you are. My perception of you doesn’t matter, neither does anyone else’s. If you believe that you’re a hopeless delinquent, then you truly are one, and unfortunately I can’t help you with that.”

“You don’t have to help me if you don’t want to. The last thing I need is you looking down on me. I don’t need your pity.”

He expects you to launch into another tirade where you attempt to offer him your unwanted pearls of wisdom he clearly lacked, but instead you place a gentle hand on his arm and ask softly, “Yang Jeongin, did something happen? You’re not usually like this.”

The tenderness of your response throws him off and he recoils, clearly unsure of how to proceed. He was prepared for a fight, for a battle of heated confrontation, not for a counselling or heart-to-heart session with you.“You probably won’t want to talk to me, but I’m willing to listen if you need it,” you say, looking straight at him, a gentle look in your eyes.

“How come you’re not scared of me?” Jeongin asks, unable to come up with anything else, “How come… you’re so strange?” You shrug. “What’s there to be afraid of?”Jeongin stares at you for a moment. Simply stares, seemingly without intention to speak.

“Look, I can tell something’s bothering you. I think we should take today off because obviously we’re not going to get anything done. So, what’s the matter?”

Jeongin throws you a stony look before finally conceding.

“Coach threatened to kick me off the basketball team and replace me with freaking Kim Seungmin if I didn’t pull my grades up. Like, I know he gets good grades and all, but I bet he can’t even make half the number of hoops I can. And it’s not fair-- coach called me hopeless in front of the whole team just because I don’t do well for tests. What has my grades got to do with basketball, anyway? Just because I can’t study doesn’t mean he has the right to look down on me like that.”

You’re shocked. You would never have expected Yang Jeongin, with his exterior of toughness and steel, to be so tender-hearted within. The way he’s pouting obstinately right now reminds you of a five-year-old who got his candy taken away from him. You suppress the urge to pat him on the head in an attempt to be comforting.

“Your coach sounds like a jerk,” you say, and at this Jeongin’s left lip cocks upwards slightly. “But I’d be a hypocrite if I tell you I didn’t think of you like that before.” 

Jeongin looks up at you, hurt flashing across his eyes. 

“I did think that you were a delinquent, to be honest. I mean, you literally asked to copy my answers to our homework. Not exactly the best impression right there, you gotta admit. But after seeing this, how you got everything correct— you have so much potential, Jeongin. You’re definitely not dumb, useless or hopeless. When I started learning this topic I couldn’t even get everything correct like you. If you tried I bet you could do really well.” 

Jeongin stays quiet for a while, processing your words. 

“And, well, you kind of have no choice now but to buck up. I know how much you love basketball. There’s no way you’d let Kim Seungmin take over your spot.” Jeongin finally looks up at you. 

“You really think I can do it?”

“Yeah, sure. I mean, you’ve already got yourself an amazing tutor. What more can’t you achieve?” You suppress a smile as Jeongin judges your elbow in protest, a grin spreading across his cheeks. 

“You just need to start believing in yourself, buddy. If you don’t, then why should I?” 

—

You never thought that your words would have such an effect on Jeongin, but apparently they did, and he begins to actually put effort into his studies, something he’s never done before. 

He scores well on pop quizzes and common tests, shocking the teachers and especially his coach, who decides to keep him on the team after all. 

“This is good,” you say, looking at his perfect score on the most recent quiz. “You’re doing so well! Keep this up and I’m going to lose my title of class valedictorian,” you say jokingly, feeling genuinely happy for Jeongin. 

Within the span of time you’d spent tutoring him, you learned that he was actually rather diligent and really did try his best, and he had a quick ear and sharp wits. He picked up the foundation quickly, and soon moved on to solving advanced problems with a strong sense of mental agility that definitely proved his intelligence.

“Yeah, you’d better watch out. You wouldn’t want me as your rival,” he says, smiling.You simply smirk and turn your head to look out the window at the dark clouds quickly taking over the sky. The premonition of a brewing storm. 

“Maybe I should give you today off,” you say to Jeongin, still looking out the window. 

“What? No way. Are you actually afraid that I’ll overtake you in class ranking?” Jeongin teases, poking your cheek with his finger. 

“What? No! Fine, forget I asked. I was just trying to be kind. Let’s continue then,” you stutter, trying to hide your blush that blossomed from the fact that Yang Jeongin just touched your cheek. 

Over the next fifteen minutes, the sky turns into a massive grey-black expanse and you feel yourself getting tenser with every minute. 

“Hey, what’s up? If you continue holding your pen like that your knuckles are gonna break,” Jeongin jokes, tapping your fist with his pencil. 

“Shut up,” you say, and right at that moment an electric bolt of lightning shoots across the sky, just before an ear-splitting peal of thunder rocks the classroom. You squeal and clamp your hands over your ears, dropping your pen onto the floor with a loud clang! 

Jeongin stares at your cowered form in disbelief, unsure how to react. “So you’re not afraid of me but you’re afraid of thunder? Really Y/N?” He says, and you expect him to go off in a fit of raucous laughter at your unexpected fear. 

However, another loud clash of thunder reverberates throughout the tiny classroom before he has a chance to mock you, and you bury your head into your hands and slump down onto the desk, trying to calm your erratic heartbeat. 

How this fear developed, you have no idea. You just weren’t a fan of loud and sudden noises, and you hate the mini heart attack that occurs whenever you hear the sound of thunder. You had no idea how people could just carry on and act like nothing happened each time thunder struck. 

Jeongin looks at you for a moment, incredulous, but also finding the sight of you cowering on your rather endearing, as strange as it sounds. He thought you were fearless, what with the way you skillfully shut down his attempts to threaten you, something no one had ever done to him before. Turns out you had something you were afraid of as well. He smiles slightly. 

Seeing as you aren’t about to get up anytime soon, he inches closer to you, practically closing the distance between you two. You don’t notice this with your head buried between your arms. And then he proceeds to put his hands over your ears, drawing you close to him. 

Your heartbeat, which had finally begun to slow down a little, picks up again, this time faster than before. You two stay like that for a while, with his hands over your ears, your back against his chest as he shelters you with his body. 

Though you would never admit it, you felt safe in his half-embrace. Funny how Yang Jeongin, self-proclaimed gangster-in-training, had the ability to make you feel safe. 

“You okay now?” He asks as you slowly remove your hands from your ears. “Y-Yeah, thanks.”He stares at you for a moment before breaking out into a smirk. 

“You’re adorable.”

You narrow your eyes at him. “What was that, Yang Jeongin? I am many things. I am fierce, intelligent, charismatic. But I am not adorable.”

Jeongin taps your nose with his pencil. “So adorable. But also pretty stupid.”

“You’re really calling your tutor stupid, Yang Jeongin? You’re treading on dangerous waters here—,” “You’re stupid for not being able to see how much I like you, idiot.”You do a double take, your eyes widening to the size of saucers. 

“Y-You like me?”

“How could I not like the girl who turned me into a math genius? Or rather, how could I not like the girl who believed in me, unlocked my potential and showed me that I wasn’t useless and dumb after all? You really can’t expect me not to fall for you, can you?”

Your head swirls with Jeongin’s unexpected confession, unsure of how to react. 

“Let me return the favour. I can protect you from thunderstorms,” Jeongin says, tilting your chin upwards to look directly into his eyes. 

You look at Yang Jeongin, the boy who intruded into your life, and you wonder how you managed to grow so fond of him in the past couple of months. You couldn’t even stand being in his presence just a while ago. Maybe you should give this a try, let him hug you close and cover your ears during thunderstorms, and most importantly, open up your heart to him.

“Okay, I’ll let you,” you say, breaking out into a huge grin, just as a rainbow emerges from behind the dark clouds, creating a beautiful spectacle, marking the start of something new. 

a/n; badboy jeongin is such a concept smh;;;  im hardly satisfied w this but i rlly wanted to put smth out!!! idk why but i always take sooo long to write and i’m rlly bad at coming up w ideas eesh... but anyway happy 2019 everyone!! i’m rlly excited for my next story can y'all guess which member it is hehe

[berrytaetae]

college!taehyung ♡

a/n: i was inspired by my favourite - @warmau - to start writing; if you want to read some beautiful imagines, please read her work if you haven’t alreadyㅠㅠ i love this boy very much so i hope i did him justice... since this is my first imagine, constructive criticism is much appreciated! also, please feel free to message me - i have no friends :) -🍓

being the fashion major that he was, taehyung was always around campus looking like a greek god

even if what he was wearing included a kilt and a pair of sandals, he was always turning heads wherever he went 

of course... his hair was no exception

it was basically his canvas, painting whatever new colour he wanted onto it

people would always ask whether he was worried about his hair falling out but taehyung just smiled his wide, rectangular smile and said that it was fine! he always wanted to try shaving his head anyway

and although the fashion majors were known for keeping to themselves, there was not one student who could say that they had never heard of taehyung

he was quite the social butterfly, always at college parties with his best friends, dance major jimin and film major jungkook

he wasn’t one of those people who went out to forget about their problems and wake up in some stranger’s bed in the morning

no, taehyung was always found dancing and laughing with some new friend he had just made

don’t get me wrong, taehyung enjoyed a shot of soju every now and then... he just knew how to control himself  

of course, you knew of taehyung as well - he was infamous for his good looks after all - but you had never crossed paths 

that was until one day, a friend from your study group had urgently called you because they had left their graphic design portfolio behind in the library and you, being the amazing friend that you were, had promised to pick it up and drop it off at the art building after class

after a long, emotional exchange of “you just saved my life” and “i owe you big time”, you had decided to wander around a bit... you had finished all your classes for the day anyway and you had never been to this part of the school before

so as you were walking around, listening to some music and admiring all the pretty paintings and sculptures, you hadn’t even noticed that someone else had joined you

it wasn’t until you had stopped in front of a particularly stunning watercolour painting that you had realised a boy was talking directly to you

taking your earphones out and apologising for your ignorance, you looked up to notice that this was not just some boy... no... this man standing next to you was the one and only kim taehyung... and wow he was even more attractive than you had imagined

stopping yourself from staring for too long, you stuttered, “i-i’m sorry... i didn’t quite catch what you were saying”

with a glistening smile, he repeated, “that’s okay! i was just asking what you found most beautiful about this painting?”

and before you could tell him that no, you weren’t an art major, taehyung started describing all the small details about what he believed the student was trying to convey through this form of expression

and you didn’t know what it was, but something about the way that he had captured the beauty of the painting in his words had prompted you to do the same

so you carefully explained everything from the colour, texture and composition to what you had interpreted differently about the symbolism of the painting to taehyung who was listening intently on what you had to say

and when you were done, he moved onto the next piece, doing exactly the same

you lost track of how long you guys had been talking for, but as you came to the last few displays, you noticed that the sun had already set and the cleaners were telling you guys to leave because they had to lock up the building

so taehyung and you went your separate ways and...

that was it

you hadn’t talked about anything else let alone exchange numbers... heck, if he wasn’t already known as the boy who caused way too many heart palpitations, you didn’t think you would have even caught his name

so you didn’t think much of your small encounter with taehyung until a few days later when you were grabbing lunch at the cafeteria

you were chatting with a friend, talking about the stress of exams and assignments, when you had reached out for the last bottle of banana milk

but instead of the cool plastic of the bottle, you were met with a soft, squishy object...?

and looking to your left, you had once again come face-to-face with kim taehyung for the second time that week

with a smirk, he snickered, “i see you can’t get enough of me”

“you’re the one who keeps following me around”

“and you’re the one who’s about to steal my banana milk”

and that’s when you began to rant about the shitty mess of a morning you had just experienced with someone spilling coffee all over your new white top and how your professor got angry at you for something you hadn’t even done when taehyung stopped you with a wink and said “don’t worry - i’ll strike you a deal. you get the milk if you help me with my next project”

and maybe it was the thought of not getting your banana milk that day or the way that taehyung had winked at you, but without a second thought, you had agreed to his proposal

so after handing you a napkin that he had quickly scribbled his number on, taehyung was gone as fast as he had appeared leaving both you and your friend dumbstruck in the middle of the cafeteria

“what was tha-”

“i don’t even know.”

that night, you had received a text from taehyung properly introducing himself and asking when you were free

and in a couple of minutes, you two had decided to meet at the cute cafe near campus the following tuesday

you couldn’t tell if something out there had decided to play tricks on you, but you swore that time moved infinitely slower in the days leading up to your date(?) with taehyung

but you planned out a super cute outfit for the day anyway

and when you got there, sitting down with your beverage of choice, you nearly choked when taehyung revealed what his exact plans for his next project actually were

“the fashion majors are holding a fashion show and i need you to be my model”

your first instinct was to immediately decline - you couldn’t walk down an entire hall without tripping let alone an entire runwary

but the excited look on his face stopped the words from slipping out and you were forced to nod your head with a sigh of resignation

so your next few weeks were filled with countless sessions of sketching, measuring and sewing

the hours would include taehyung groaning as he stained yet another one of his drawings with coffee as he worked on his project while you studied next to him until he needed to take his next measurement

but you guys got along well too well

taehyung would always make you laugh until you had tears wellling in your eyes and the people around you were annoyed from the amount of noise

and there was the small smiles and touches and the pink tint of blushing cheeks

and the moments of eye contact that lasted a little too long to be accidental

it didn’t help that taehyung was also a gentleman - he always offered to pay for your drink, brought you your favourite snacks from the convenience store and walked you to your dorm

but as much as you pleaded, he never showed you what he was working on, keeping everything as secret as possible

all you got were glimpses of fabrics and thread - nothing more and nothing less

and before the two of you knew it, it was the day of the fashion show

you, of course, were nervous

you had never done anything like this before and you didn’t even know what you were wearing for goodness sake

taehyung could have made you a clown costume for all you knew

but when you saw his bright smile greeting you and asking you to close your eyes, you suddenly felt the butterflies in your stomach become something more than just the thought of walking down a runway

with taehyung’s hands covering your eyes, making sure you wouldn’t peak, and a countdown from three, you were soon confronted by the most beautiful outfit you had ever seen

the white silk, adorned with the most intricate, fine details, caught the lights around it in the most beautiful ways

and the thought of taehyung working tireless hours to perfect this dress to fit every curve of your body made all your insides feel giddy

so in the spur of the moment, you threw yourself into taehyung’s arms, overwhelmed with the spectacular masterpiece that stood before you

but to your surprise, taehyung’s soft lips pressed against yours and you could feel him smile into the kiss

and in a soft whisper, taehyung asked, “before you try it on, i need to ask you something...”

and with a small nod of approval from you, he continued, “will you go out with me?”

“only if you let me keep the dress”

“i was going to let you keep it anyways”

“in that case, i’ll be happy to go out with you”

and that’s how you and taehyung became the most iconic couple on campus

like you guys constantly look like aesthetic couple pictures come to life with the matching outfits and everything

and you quickly come to learn that wow, this boy loves to cuddle

tbh he probably loves being the little spoon just as much as he loves being the big spoon uwu

when you guys are together, he always comes up from behind and wraps his arms around you, resting his chin on your head and shoulders

taehyung’s favourite place to take you out is the movies

he loves the feeling of the dark, open space

like he isn’t one of those people who gets bored halfway through a movie and starts making out with their significant other

no... taehyung is the type of person who will put all the armrests up and cuddle you through the whole movie AND the credits (”because what if there’s a post-credits scene that just makes everything perfect” he says)

once, taehyung had dyed his hair bright red and you refused to call him anything but ‘berry boy’ for an entire week

he eventually convinced you to dye your hair as well so it was a win-win situation in the end

his favourite place to kiss you is your neck and collarbones

“they’re made perfectly for my face” he says

and taehyung is honestly just boyfriend material™... like he would treat you riGHT

he would always buy you a bottle of banana milk and put it in your bag where you would find it with a cute note stuck onto it

and sometimes he would take you to fancy dinners where y’all would hold hands and enjoy a plate of spaghetti ‘lady and the tramp’-style with some glasses of wine

while on other days, he would take you on a picnic on the roof of some building so you could go stargazing

and sooner or later he would end up lying on your lap while you played with his hair, asking each other deep and personal questions about life

and taehyung would genuinely listen to all your answers because he thinks that your mind is just as beautiful as your face

and with closed eyes and a goofy grin on his face, he would tell you how much he loves you

and while you’re at it, give yourself a pat on the back because wow, you managed to score yourself a kim taehyung

[ncyrocks]

I guess I have to take this seriously now, huh?

Over the holidays, I worked a fair bit on improving myself and my workflow. I figure I’m in my final year now (AAAAAHHH) so I should give it my all – but I should also figure out the best way to do that. “Work smarter, not harder” and all that.

A lot of the changes I made to my workflow were inspired by Cal Newport and his book Deep Work. He argues that scheduled, focused work is not only by far the most effective kind of knowledge work there is, but it’s also a skill in and of itself that is sorely needed and rarely mastered. I also did a lot of research into productivity techniques in general.

I did this with several goals in mind:

Improved quality of my Studio work – I wasn’t always satisfied with my work last semester, nor did I always think it would be a good addition to my portfolio.

Improved grades – I’m not content with a B/B+ average like I’ve been getting the past couple of years.

Practice truly focusing on work – not only will this be a valuable skill, but it should also be a great help in learning other skills in the future.

Less work at home/on weekends – if I can do everything I need to at uni, I don’t have to worry about leaving anything unfinished.

I had a look at the elements in my workflow that I didn’t need and tried to give myself more opportunity to do deep/valuable work, especially on my Studio projects.

I made the following changes to my workflow:

I scheduled my entire week.

Well, my workweek. I split it into 15-minute blocks and defined when I’d sleep, when I’d travel to uni, and what paper I’d work on at any given time. I haven’t scheduled what I’ll do at home – I have enough confidence in myself to do everything I need to do at home, like eating and preparing for the next day at uni, without a schedule. I also want to leave the weekend blank.

I scheduled my sleep.

Instead of going to sleep when I was done and waking up whenever I feel like it, I (try to) go to sleep and wake up at the same time every day. This should allow me to get up earlier than I used to and spend more of my day at uni working. (I am currently trying to sleep from 11 to 7 every day, and I’ll only change that if I think it’s hurting my health.)

I quit my job.

I used to work as a grocery assistant at my local New World. I left my job there the first week of this year to focus more on uni and social events.

I restructured my Todoist workflow.

I’ve mentioned Todoist on my blog before – it’s how I’ve been keeping track of my to-dos for over a year now. I’ve fiddled with its myriad of settings almost constantly, trying to find my optimum workflow. I recently changed it to work like this:

All my ‘main’ tasks (related to major projects, like uni and hobbies) are given priorities from 1-3 depending on how long they’ll take. All other tasks – minor errands and routine tasks – are given no priority. They’re still priorities for me, of course, but I don’t assign them as such inside Todoist anymore.

Priority 1 tasks are worth 4 points, priority 2 tasks are worth 2, and priority 3 tasks are worth 1. I assign myself 15 points’ worth of tasks each day.

During my work hours, I focus on using my 15 points to complete the most valuable tasks possible. When my work hours are over I stop working, reschedule anything I didn’t get done, make sure I’ve got my most valuable tasks scheduled for tomorrow, and only complete non-priority tasks until the next day’s work.

(I should probably note that I don’t know how long this exact technique will last me. For a start, the numbers I use are pretty fiddly, and I’ve changed them before. And like I said, I fiddle with my Todoist settings often – this technique might not work as well as I thought, so I could swap it for something that seems more effective. I’m okay with this – if it doesn’t work, I shouldn’t keep it up, and if I keep trying new ways of working I should land on something truly effective sooner or later. Prototypes, right?)

I wrote down a workflow I think Kōwhai Studio should use.

This semester, I’m working again with Kōwhai Studio, the game dev team with which I made Project Kōwhai. I figured I could improve our team’s workflow as well as my own.

I wrote down a minimal list of the apps, workflows and roles I think we need to produce a game this semester. I also suggested we revisit it every couple of weeks to improve it.

I moved Kōwhai Studio towards asynchronous communication.

Asynchronous communication is much more conducive to deep work than real-time communication, as you don’t have to respond immediately and break your concentration on whatever you’re doing. Apps like Slack (which we were supposed to use last semester) and Messenger (which we actually used last semester) are both focused on real-time communication where everyone has to be online.

I asked everyone to sign up for Twist, which allows people to read a whole, separated conversation in its entire context no matter when they read it. We use it for all our Studio-related communication.

I deleted distracting apps from my phone.

I no longer have Facebook, Twitter, Messenger, YouTube, or Chrome on my phone. To keep them installed was to give myself a huge amount of instant distractions almost every second of the day. I don’t miss them.

Along the same lines, I turned off almost all notifications from my phone.

I work less online and more with pen-and-paper.

Working while online gives me a huge amount of potential distractions, so I try to work offline when I can. I’m writing this post in Word with my laptop in Flight mode – I’ll go back online and copy it over to Tumblr once it’s done. I try to only go online if I have a specific reason.

I also try to use my computer less and try to organise things with my pad of A4 paper I haven’t used up since I got it in Year 9. I use it for planning my days, my work, even my blog posts:

This switch to writing stuff down helps me to think about things much more thoroughly and lets me ease up on the amount of info I need to consciously remember while working (which I’m bad at). I carry around a notebook and pen wherever I go in case I have a thought I wanna remember later.

I’m trying to work less in Studio, especially in the mornings.

I love our level 11 space as much as the next Creative Technologist, but it’s distracting. There’s always a lot of stuff going on, and last year I often found it difficult to concentrate there. I’m trying to work more in the library or in other spaces at uni where I can just sit down and work without distractions.

I’m still coming into our main space every day, of course, but I’m trying to set apart the morning for the kind of work I can’t do while I’m there.

I haven’t had nearly as much time to try this one out yet, so we’ll see how it goes. I have two classes in the morning both semesters this year, so I can only really do this one three days a week.