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strawberrytoo · 5 years ago

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alexei: happy smirnoff headcanons.

the softest, SOFTEST boy.

cuddles galore.

teaching him english (although it’s slightly broken still).

(“I kiss you?”) (“Is good?”)

him teaching you some russian, spreading that bilingual love.

ur also p shit to start off with but both of you don’t give up bc you literally love each other sm??

watching old movies together a lot. the oldies are his favourite but he loves going to the movies with you.

date nights a lot after things cool down and you move out of hawkins.

alexei likes to go to the VHS store with you to pick out ones he thinks look cool, not if they are actually good. doesn’t even mind it they are shit.

“this one they shoot lasers? with glowing swords?” he asked, holding up the cover of the film.

“that? yeah, it’s called star wars. it’s one of my favourites actually.” you beamed, leaning your chin on alexei’s shoulder as you looked down at it.

“your favourite? then we must watch. quick, quick.” he grinned, grabbing your hand and pulling you to the counter.

he absolutely fell in love with star wars just like you.

“you are leia and i am han.”

cutest comparison ever.

when the empire strikes back comes out in theatre normal i love yous are out the window: “i love you, alex.”, “i know.”.

your nicknames for him: honey, sweetheart, darling.

smirnoff when you’re feeling sentimental.

his nicknames for you: lyubov moya (my love), zvezda moya (my stars), malysh (baby), sweetness, angel.

carnivals are still his favourite thing.

wins A LOT.

gives you all his teddies.

strongly believe your house will have a spare room FULL of them.

pure glee; “it’s not rigged, see?”

sharing cotton candy and corn dogs.

kissing on the ferris wheel.

loves the fast rides because “they are very american. big, loud, fast.”

as much as he loves the carnival i feel like he has some mild ptsd from when he was shot. like sometimes he’ll just start to panic in the middle of the carnival and you’d have to calm him down; gently holding his face, telling him to breathe.

he’d calm down, thank you, hold your hand and you’d both move on because that’s all you can do. he knows how lucky he is to be alive but it still scares him.

“they can’t hurt you anymore, sweetheart.” you would whisper to him at night, holding him close to your chest as you ran your fingers through his soft curly hair. “you’re safe now.”

this is why he loves cuddles. he just feels so safe in your arms.

leading to my next point; he is the little spoon almost always.

sometimes will hold you but like, he likes being held. secure, safe, warm.

he’d love feeling your arms around him, one leg draped in between his, pressing kisses to his head and back of his neck.

you know what else he loves? showering together.

soft boy isn’t pervy he just loves being in your presence and getting to wash you and getting to be washed by you.

both of you, smitten.

sweet whispers at night.

he’d enjoying laying his head on your lap or chest when he felt sad or cuddly so you could run your fingers through his hair.

slow dancing to gentle vinyl records you pick up when shopping.

he’s a very good dancer.

almost daily trips to 7/11

can’t stress enough how much he’d love a dog.

calling it jimbo after a very angry but missed (i know hopper ain’t dead but let’s pretend) cop who you both once knew.

chowing down on the couch and watching cartoons together, snuggling up is one of your favourite pastimes.

domestic! bliss!

cooking meals together.

alexei loves baking cookies with you.

usually ends in a mess but-

because alexei was an immigrant he had to stay at home for a while whilst you were the breadwinner until you both decided to move out to the country and to another small town.

alexei taught science at a high school.

you worked in a florists.

you’d bring a flower to him everyday on your lunch break.

cute blushing alexei.

strongly believe you’d both stay in contact with murray.

him and alexei are best buds and murray would, after being forced to by the actions of a certain copper, be forced to relocate.

he chose the same town as the both of you.

alexei would propose quite soon after the events, like a year?? purely because you both know you want to spend the rest of your lives together.

“i love you with all my heart, myshka. will you marry me?”

“of course i’ll marry you, you big russian goofball.”

small wedding service; murray is the best man. joyce and the byers gang are invited.

let’s face it; 3 kids minimum.

great dad. like,,, GREAT dad.

watching cartoons w/ your kids all day on a sunday.

telling your kids the story of how you two met when they are old enough. the whole hawkins’ mess a distant memory now.

“uncle murray? is it true your code name was bald eagle?”

pure tender rage directed at you and alexei who just howl with laughter.

murray softens up. ADORES your kids.

also think you’d meet with joyce for old times sake.

alexei living the american dream like he deserves and dying of old age. not being shot by arnold schwarzenegger lookin dick head.

#Alexei x reader #Alexei #Alexei imagine #alexei headcanons #stranger things #stranger things imagine #stranger things headcanons #headcanons #smirnoff #smirnoff x reader #fluff #alexei should have lived

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k00252868 · 5 years ago

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Oasis - Definitely Maybe (Photography)

Music/Artist: Oasis (English Rock Band)

Date the work was created: 29 August 1994

Reference source: creativeboom.com ; radiox.co.uk ; telegraph.co.uk ; theguardian.com; musikexpress.de

Designer/agency: Michael Spencer Jones (Photographer)

Concept behind the album artwork: The original line-up of the band is sitting in a room, surrounded by “meaningful” objects: an inflatable globe, glasses of red wine, a Burt Bacharach album and a photo of footballer George Best. They mainly wanted to create a photograph like the one of the Beatles in the back of the 1966 compilation ‘A Collection of Beatles Oldies” sitting around a table in an off-duty moment. Besides, Art director Brian Cannon wanted more objects in addition to orientate on the Flemish Renaissance Artists like Van Eyck, to tell a story.

Other relevant/interesting information: The photograph was taken at Paul “Bonehead” Arthur’s house in West Ditsbury, Manchester. The photographers’ suggestion was that they shoot in the lounge towards the big bay window and positioned Liam Gallagher on the floor to distract from the bare floorboards. “(Otherwise) it looked like an advert for Ronseal Varnish. Liam was up for it straight away”. In the background sits Oasis drummer Tony McCarroll gazing up a television showing “The Good, the Bad and the Ugly”. They tried to get a similar photograph to the one of the Beatles, but had to rethink about angles and perspectives, to get an interesting shot.

Personal reflection on the artwork: The album cover of “Definitely Maybe” shows an interesting photograph showing the band in an off-duty moment. The photograph is very affective because of its interesting perspectives with Liam Gallagher lying on the ground, with the head towards the viewer, and the other band members, placed in all levels within the photograph (foreground, middle ground, background), underlining the “off- duty” effect. There are lots of objects lying around as picture frames, wine glasses and an inflatable globe, telling a story about the band. It looks like there is natural sunlight coming through the window. The colors within the photograph are bright and eye catching. All in all I would say that Oasis’ cover artwork is one of my favourites.

#wwb

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akaanonymouth · 7 years ago

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Things I’m Working On...

List all the things you’re currently working on in as much or little detail as you’d like, then tag some friends to see what they’re working on. This can be writing, art, vids, gifsets, whatever…

I’ve not been tagged, but I was making a list of things I’m writing because I’m driving myself insane opening 43 docs and forgetting what idea/ story/ whatever goes where and then spending more time reading and cutting things than actually writing so…. what better place to make a note! (It may be a loooong note! I mean, like, I’m talking through my ideas here because nothing’s actually finished, so feel free to wither jump in and provide input, or just keep scrolling now!) Berena

Berena and the Fletchlings: As you may know, one little “Berena dancing in the kitchen” idea escalated into a 7,000odd word fluff fest involving the Fletchlings, then Berena took them all swimming, and now my brain seems to insist on inserting some Fletchling interaction at almost every opportunity, so I named it a series, and since I named it a series, I haven’t managed to finish a single idea, haha! But, here’s what I got in the pipeline: (Actually I will put this under a cut to save people’s dashes, because I have a lot of ideas to work through and I’ve apparently lost a verbal filter alongside gaining a mental health issue, who knew! Sorry! Anyhoo:

-Evie’s Birthday: She wants to attend a festival. Fletch is dead set against it, Evie’s obviously having a meltdown, so is Fletch, Serena steps in. Decides to throw a mini fest in her house/ garden, and gets most Holby staff involved. Bernie convinces Charlotte to come, because Charlotte can play guitar and sing, and Elinor is also persuaded, because she can sing and play piano and Serena’s set up a gazebo like a stage, but there’s also a piano in the living room, and it turns out Bernie can also play the piano because have you seen her hands?! Anyway, they have mad fun all day, Ric and Sacha do an ‘oldie’ set, etc etc. I’ll stop there with all the details otherwise no one will want to read it when it finally gets done properly! But it’ll include Bernie and Serena dancing, to new and old songs, and Ellie is all like “eww�� but Evie’s all moon-eyes and explains what she sees to Ellie, and Charlotte is persuaded by Cam to play an acoustic version of his favourite song and…. basically a lot of Bernie and Serena eye sex, slow dancing in bubbles they create for themselves, and Evie just being crazy about her OTP. I haven’t decided yet if Berena are established, or whether it should be another sort of “intervention/ dawning realisation” type thing, so if anyone wants to add their thoughts, or message me for more details, PLEASE feel free to!

- Bra shopping: I was going to keep the “fletchlings” series relatively angst-free, but this one, canon-compliant with Elinor’s death, is bugging me. Serena promises to take Evie bra shopping; does take Evie bra shopping on the following Saturday. Bernie goes with them. It’s Mother’s Day the next day, and they see shops full of Mother’s Day paraphernalia etc. They have a lovely time shopping but towards the end, melancholy/ anger/ grief sets in, so Bernie does little things to keep them in the here and now, not really knowing what else to do. When they’re heading home, they detour through the park, and come across Mikey in an altercation with a few other older boys. They’re picking on him, and Bernie steps in (BMAM!) and they start to take the piss, but she sends them off, then Mikey turns his anger onto her, and she encourages him (a bit like the speech she gave Serena in the toilets) and he fights her; breaks down; they head back to Serena’s. There’s silent cuddles, angst, but loving. Etc and all that.

- The as-yet-wholly-unformed-idea whereupon Evie still wants to move in with Serena, is in love with Berena, as in, the actual ship, as well as them as individuals, and loves spending time with them. She’s made aware that maybe she is intruding, so she tries not to encroach so much, but Bernie messages her asking if she wants to go to the cinema one night, and she just… Yeah, The One Where Evie is the Berena Fandom Incarnate (and gets to bask in their presence for weekends at a time). May tie this in with the drabble I wrote about Evie giving Serena a friendship bracelet after Elinor died, with green for Bernie weaved through it, then she does the same for Bernie.

If anyone has any Berena + Fletchlings ideas they’d like to see written, pop me a line, and I’ll try my best :)

Untitled WIP:

1) Comedy of sorts. Half the hospital staff are sick to the back teeth of Serena and Bernie tiptoeing around each other, because please, as much as they both liked to preach from their pedestals that they were only being professional and didn’t want the hospital, the trauma unit, AAU, the patients, the bloody agency nurse who turned up now and again to suffer, suffer they were. Especially those that kept stumbling into the middle of serious eye fucking sessions and half-finished sentences. It had to stop. In which Zosia’s taken it upon herself to be Bernie’s fairy godmother (and if she gets a good few snogs out of Jac along the way, all the better), and the staff come up with, frankly, ludicrous ways to get B&S together, even employing Mrs. B as a seductress. Why no one just talked to Jason, I don’t know…

2) If Holby writers can steal Doctors on The Roof from ER, then I can steal Stinky the dog from it, and give him a storyline with Serena and Bernie. (Or, The One where Serena gains a dog and a Wolfe). Kerry Weaver ended up taking home a dog called Stinky from a tramp that died, and I’ve apparently based a whole story on that idea. Also I love Kerry Weaver.)

3) In which Serena loses the point of Texas Hold ‘Em because she’s too busy wondering what Texas holds, exactly? Bernie tells her to add it to her Google list….. And I’ve lost the plot a bit with this one, but Im sure it’ll come back (or it is already here, trapped in the wrong document!)

3) Smut fic. Pure smut. There is nothing but smut. I mean, at a push, it could be described as character exploration through sexual situations, character development via sex…. basically I’m just writing a multi-chap fic about Serena and Bernie having sex in the here-and-now, and harking back to various ‘first-time’s’ as it comes up in their conversation. (Can I work “fight on your feet or die on your knees” into this? I think I can. I can see Serena saying this.) 4) Smut fic. Yes, like the above. But, I found I was thinking about their lives post-Elinor death, and what impacts that would have. This is a bit darker. Not harrowing, and with as happy ending as anyone could have with a dead child, but still, dark enough to warrant being a separate story.

5) The obligatory stuck-in-a-lift-fic that I have never written for any of my OTPs before, so feel it’s beyond time that I give it a go. Mingling it with the “sweaty, vigorous passion” episode, substituting Raf for Bernie :)

6) Angst. In which Bernie uses Jason to determine Serena’s mental state, because whatever is happening, Serena does not lie to Jason. Wrote the idea for this when Elinor first died, so I don’t know if I’ll finish. Just a one-shot, to try to explain to myself where their relationship was, where Bernie’s level of concern was at, at the time.

7) After a whole day of being majorly, ridiculously excited about the post, I am writing a perfume-based story haha!

8) I’m not technically working on this one, because I don’t watch Dr Who religiously, and I’m not a massive, massive fan, but I couldn’t get rid of this thought: Serena is all bitter and sad, and Kate Stewart turns up like “Somewhere in your memory is a woman called Bernie Wolfe….” In order to be happy and save herself (and Holby or the world, if that’s your bag) Serena must remember Bernie, must remember her timeline for her actual reality to realign again, because Bernie is Serena’s soulmate, but not only that, Bernie and Serena’s relationship has a direct impact on Kate’s lineage (or something, it’s all about the timey-wimey shit that I haven’t figured out) and so Serena absolutely has to remember that Bernie was wiped from her memory, because it’s the only thing that’ll bring her back. I’m probably never going to even attempt to start this one, but I would read the shit out of it if anyone could do it?!

9) I nearly forgot about this one! Actresses AU. Whereupon Serena and Bernie, and the rest of the cast, are the actors in a medical drama. Serena and Bernie’s story remains theirs, but there are eerie similarities between them and their character storylines. Bernie remains married for much longer, her character is written out of the show they play in for an indefinite amount of time because she does a moonlight flit, etc. Angst, slow burn. Not entirely sure how this will play out; it’s one I think I’d like to finish completely before posting.

Aaaand I’ll end there. Maybe I’ll do a separate post for the HP, DWP and ER fics that I’ve either temporarily (does 7 years count as temporary?!) abandoned, completely lost, or thought so much about that I think they already exist and am horrifically surprised when they do not (hello, me Voyager fics, too, haha!)

Not tagging anyone, but I’m always grateful to read what other people are up to! God bless anyone that’s made it this far!

#anonymouth #writing #too many ideas not enough time or confidence to follow them through #berena fic

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tabbysgotclaws · 5 years ago

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The Executrix Pt.1 - #Throwback

Another golden oldie. I’ve had weirder nights. Gonna split it into two parts because it’s longer than Ron Jeremy - if you have a problem with that, you can eat my ass.

***

A lot of people consider prostitution to be the world's oldest profession - that's how I started all this last time. But, for something older than a T-Rex's asshole, there's always a request that can still surprise you.

Imagine, for a second, that a three-hour-long session of cock-and-ball torture is your idea of a quiet day at the office. Imagine you know what the Fried Clam Slammer is, and you can think about it without losing your appetite. Also - imagine, if you can, satisfying that appetite by eating cheating dirtbags for fun and profit, and doing this for a few thousand years.

First of all: if all this is true for you, then congratulations, gorgeous, you're me, and you look phenomenal.

Secondly: imagine what kind of request it'd take to shock you. Something so rare that, even after all this time, it still has the power to raise an eyebrow, like seeing a dick wider than it is long.

So we're in Starbucks - the Agent Smith from the Matrix of coffee franchises - and he's drinking a mocha-locha-frappe-ding-dong or whatever the hell it's called. You know, those drinks that are like half ice-cream and cost so much you have to remortgage your house if you wanna buy one. He's young, attractive, and single, so no scorned beauty or beaux is paying me to chow down on him tonight - but that doesn't mean nobody is paying me.

"You know," he says, his voice smooth and confident, as you can expect from a guy born with a silver spoon between his ass-cheeks. "Part of me was expecting you not to show."

I give him the classic pursed-lip grin, my mouth a crimson check-mark. He's not paying for the Girlfriend Experience - this is just negotiations.

Normally, I'd do this part online, or over the phone, but he's giving me an advance to meet in public for this one. Mr. Playboy doesn't want there to be screenshots, or recordings. And yet, he's not said a word about what he actually wants yet.

Meet Tyler Bradley. I did about ten minutes ago. He's 24 and looks it: fit, athletic, kinda like a black-haired Ken Doll whose features have been moulded and sharpened by the tip of a scalpel. Unlike the last client I told you about, he's catalogue-model-handsome. Not exactly skinny, but not buff either. A less substantial lump of meat.

It'll be easier on my figure, at least.

"Why so coy, Mr. Mysterious?" I ask him, dialling up the flirtatiousness to eleven. "This your first time?"

He smiles at me, the way an adult smiles at a kid who's just asked them where babies come from.

"I'm not a virgin," he says, a little too firmly for someone secure in themselves. "Quite the opposite, actually."

"So you're a regular Don Juan, are you?"

"Yeah. I guess you could say that."

He takes another slurp from his tall cup of overpriced bean juice, and I suddenly feel the urge to smoke.

"Look, I'm all for foreplay, kid, but you're killing me here. Aren't you gonna tell me what you're after?"

"It's a little...niche."

"Niche is my middle name, Hun."

"Really niche. Like, really, really niche."

"Try me."

Another self-conscious slurp.

"Aren't you gonna have anything?" He asks.

"I'm saving room for later. Say, speaking of room, how about we find one?"

Tyler smiles in an attempt to hide the fact the back of his jaw is clenching up. His hands are fidgeting - on the cup, off the cup, on the cup, off the cup - but he never picks it up.

I'm running through different scenarios of what he might ask me: vacuum-bag asphyxiation? Rubber hose oviposition-play? A fisting session that'd put the Rumble in The Jungle to shame?

What I don't expect - and, incidentally, what I get - is a brief autobiography.

"I was born rich. My dad owns Bradley Aeronautics, it's been in the family for a few generations, so I've never really been in want of anything," he says. "I want a Lamborghini? I can have six by dinner. I want a new house? Done. A yacht? Where's the nearest port? So, you know, material goods never meant much to me. It's all just stuff."

"That...must've been tough for you."

"So for me, the only thing that's ever been worth anything is experience. Drugs, booze, women. Chemical highs. Strip clubs. Adrenaline junkie stuff. Just anything that gets the blood pumping, you know? I'd scale Everest, have an orgy with a boatload of Russian supermodels, rail the purest X you've ever seen."

"So what do you want with little ol' me?" I ask, already bored of him.

Tyler glances both ways, and leans across the table towards me, getting all up in my face.

"The one experience I've never had."

"Oh yeah? What can I do that a baker's dozen Russian babes can't?"

"Well, I've heard on the grapevine that this whole hooker thing isn't all you do," he says, that tight little smile uncurling across his face like an expensive rug.

"I don't know what you're talking about."

"Yeah, yeah, whatever. I've been looking into this for a little while now, and I know, sweetheart, I know. You're different. You've been helping people take care of little problems, haven't you? Little problems that don't just go away on their own."

For the first time in longer than I care to mention, I'm feeling a little nervous. Does he...does he know what I am? Does he know what I've been doing to people?

"Now, I'm not sure what you've been doing with the bodies--"

Phew. Thank fuck for that.

"--but I know for a fact, you've been killing people. Not everyone, but some folks who go your way? They never come back, and people sure do take a while to file the missing person's report."

I'm still forcing that lippy smile, and I'm wondering if I can just snap the guy's neck and leave without anyone noticing. I've been outmanoeuvred by this fucking kid. It's almost as embarrassing as the rubber chicken incident - but that's a story for another day.

I have to find an elegant solution to the Tyler problem.

"What's your point?" I ask.

"You're a hooker, and you kill people," he says. "Isn't it obvious that that's really fucking hot? I can't be the only one seeing this."

"Wait, what?"

"I like a lady who can take charge, you know? I'm so used to pushovers, people who'll do anything for me because they know about all the money. It's pathetic. But someone like you? Someone willing to take a life, but isn't afraid to put out, either? That really revs my engine, babe."

"So...let me get this straight," I say, speaking a little quieter than usual. "You want to watch me kill someone?"

Tyler laughs, and shakes his head at me.

"Oh, no, nothing like that. I want you to kill me."

And there's the money shot.

"Uh, come again?" I ask.

"You heard me - I've done it all, seen it all, fucked it all. So what's left? The ultimate sexual taboo: death!" He says. "After a certain point, everything just gets kinda played out. Like even your favourite song, if you listen to it enough, it gets dull, right? But I can think of something I've never done: seeing if I can orgasm and flatline at the same time."

What I'm feeling right now is a cocktail of confusion, curiosity, and immense relief. As far as I'm concerned, little Tyler's sexual death-wish suits my purposes just fine - and if I can get paid and he can get off in the process, then everybody wins. A happy ending for all, real Walt Disney stuff.

"Okay, I'm down." I say, "a hundred grand, cash, if possible."

He raises both eyebrows like I've just dropped trou and pissed in his cup of hipster nectar.

"That's a little steep, isn't it?" He says.

"What? You're gonna be dead, dude, it's not like you can use it. And it's a hell of a lot cheaper than six lambos," I say, coming dangerously close to showing off my fangs in a self-satisfied smirk.

He shrugs, as if to say, "fair enough."

"I didn't expect you to be this eager."

"Well, you seem like a sweet kid, I'd be more than happy to murder you."

"Thanks. I'm flattered."

"I know a place nearby, the Restin' Easy, I'm a friend of the manager. He'll be able to clean up once I'm done with you," I tell him.

He pauses and shakes his head again. He does that too much for me to enjoy his company.

"What's the problem, slick?"

"Not there," he says. "There's a warehouse on the edge of town. I want you to kill me there."

A warehouse? A freaking warehouse? That classic romantic getaway location, if you're a meth-addled hobo and the pack of expired sirloins he's about to fuck. A little unsanitary adds character, sure, but I don't wanna feel like I need to hose the little bastard down before I eat him.

But, the customer is always right - if they've got the cash. And Tyler Bradley has the cash.

"Okay, deal."

"Excellent. I'll email you the directions." He says, slurping the last dregs out of his cup.

"So, when do you wanna die, Tyler?"

"We'll say tomorrow night. I'm looking forward to it."

"Likewise. It's a pleasure doing business with you."

***

When you spend every other night drenched in blood, you get worse at noticing red flags. If my vision were a little clearer, I'd have noticed that Tyler Bradley was all red flags - from his weird-as-shit request to his sex-trafficking-racket location choice.

But, if this business has taught me one thing, it's that you miss out on a hell of a lot when you're greedy, hungry, and horny. It's why Sherlock Holmes never solved cases with an empty wallet, an empty stomach, and an eight-inch throbbing hard-on.

So, I turn up at the warehouse, just like Bradley-boy asked. It looks like a forty-foot, metal picnic basket full of black mould, rust, and asbestos, and I thank Satan my lungs aren't human.

As I walk through the gaping doorway, I keep myself amused by trying to figure out how many senses you'd have to lose before this shithole seemed like an appealing place to get your fuck on. Mafioso's don't shoot rats through the back of the head in places like this because of the appealing aesthetic qualities: they do it cause nobody in their right fucking mind would ever wanna go there, unless they were quietly taking care of their own little problem too.

Tyler's standing inside, wearing a leather jacket and jeans, and there's an inexplicably clean mattress laying on the grimy floor next to him.

"I brought this along," he says. "I'd hate for you to get tetanus."

"How thoughtful of you. So, you ready to do this?"

"As I'll ever be. The anticipation is really beginning to get to me."

"Then how about we just get it over with?"

We disrobe, nude bodies uncomfortable against the stale, stinking air of the warehouse. He's well-equipped, enough to assume this night won’t be a total write-off, but I'm still pissed about the venue.

Oh well, can't have it all.

He lays across the mattress and waits for me, erect, and I can already tell I'm going to be the one putting all the effort in tonight. You might be wondering, "why not just kill him now and get it over with?" but when I make a deal, I make a deal. You can't compromise on professionalism.

So, I descend on him, and we go at it for about eight minutes until he looks like he's having an asthma attack. I may not be a boat full of Russian supermodels, but I've got a couple thousand years of experience, and you don't make a living fucking and killing for that long without picking up a few choice techniques.

Once he blows his load, we're just sitting on his mattress, an island of white linen on a sea of rat-shit-covered concrete.

"You were pretty good, for what it's worth," I say, wishing I had a cigarette. "It's gonna be a shame to take you out of circulation. Speaking of, how do you want it done? I've not brought any tools so I was hoping you'd have your own, if that's what you're after."

"Manually is fine," he said. "It's more intimate that way."

"Oh, Tyler, you never told me you were a romantic."

I crawl on top of him and start reaching for his neck. This whole thing can end in one quick snap, and then I can leave, the money gets wired to my account, and the whole mess is over with.

Tyler seems nervous. I can't blame him.

"Bye bye, Tyler," I say. "It's been a pleasure."

"We're not done yet," he says.

Then the cold barrel of a gun is being pressed into the back of my head.

Tyler smiles.

"You cut it a little close there, boys," Tyler says, climbing to his feet and picking up his clothes.

"We were enjoying the show," says another voice from behind me.

And I'm just kneeling on this god damn mattress, with a gun to the back of my head, wondering what the fuck is going on.

Two-Face-Tyler is getting dressed again, and a skinny guy - mid-twenties, T-shirt and jeans, redhead - walks over to pass him a new pair of shoes. Some designer bullshit with an Italian name, most likely.

"Thanks, Al," Tyler says.

Al bows out, and I can tell from the smell and from the number of hearts beating that there are two more behind me. One bigger, with a strain to his heartbeat, and the other small, nervous. Heart bumping thirty to the dozen like he's just seen someone holding a toaster above his bathtub.

I've been expecting Tyler to pull some entitled, rich-kid bullshit since I saw the mattress. This whole cracker-ass shakedown is practically signposted, but I’m morbidly curious as to where it's gonna go, so I let them have their fun playing bad boys.

"Hey, hey, let's be reasonable here," I say. "What exactly is going on?"

Tyler, now wearing his douchebag uniform once more, comes strolling over to me, and leans down to meet my eyes directly.

"Thanks for the fuck," he says, grinning like a pervert in a middle school locker room. "But we're just getting started, honey. I wasn't lying when I said I'd done almost everything that money could buy - except one thing."

He reaches out and pats me on the shoulder.

"Don't you wanna die?" I ask him.

"The only one dying tonight is you."

We'll see.

#Stories

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waynekelton · 5 years ago

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Excellent Two Player Games on iPhone, iPad and Android

Some of the greatest things in life are better shared. Two player games offer the most direct chances for head-to-head competition or connection. No misty-eyed sentiment there, just a fact. One mind probing the ingenuity and exiguity of another through games.

If you want something epic to embark on on your own, how about taking a look at these great RPGs?

Maybe you like to play in person on the same screen, or even on different devices via local multiplayer, or instead online with asynchronous multiplayer. A test of reflexes or planning? The games below run the gamut, with variety enough for all kinds of people and situations. Give them a try the next time with a fellow gamer. You won’t be disappointed.

Reader Recommendations

Ticket to Ride

Potion Explosion

Lords of Waterdeep

Splendor

Istanbul

Through the Ages

Indian Summer

Fort Sumter (Review)

Developer: Playdek Platforms: iOS & Android Price: $6.99

Playdek's Fort Sumter: Secession Crisis tackles the introductory moves to the American Civil War in a quick, 15-minute hand of cards between two players. Your job is to position yourself for the most political influence possible as you prepare for the inevitable outbreak of the war. But Fort Sumter manages all this in an elegant little game that takes the card-based intrigue of Twilight Struggle and streamlines them, and the result is a two-player experience that's easy to learn and allows for a lot of nuance in every game.

Tides of Time (Review)

Developer: Portal Games Platforms: iOS & Android Price: $4.99

Tides of Time's digital adaptation does an excellent job at bringing this 2-player micro-game to life, with wonderful visuals and animations, and a faithful recreation of all the rules and mechanics. It's flaws are mainly to do with the original design: There's not a lot to it, so it's not a game you can play a lot off - physically or via an app. It should definitely be part of your two-player playlist though, and you'll enjoy its drafting and set-collection strategy. It's a nice, casual game where the competition isn't too fierce, but the challenge is still just as rewarding.

Morels (Review)

Developer: Mossbark Games Platforms: iOS Universal, Android Price: $4.99

The physical version of Moresl (also known as Fungi) was a very casual and fun card game for two people. It's only drawback was that it took up a fair amount of room, but thanks to Mossbark's excellent digital adaptation, that's no longer a concern. If Pass & Play and even online multiplayer modes, all of the best traits of Morels have survived into the mobile port.

Especially good for couples, Morels is very laid back, but also paced and easy to play. You won't need to remember anything too complex, and it's an excellent time-waster if you're travelling together or are just looking for some quick and easy post-dinner entertainment at home.

Uniwar

Developer: Spooky House Studios Platforms: iOS, Android Price: Free with non-invasive IAP

Uniwar is an ambitious turn-based strategy game which proudly wears its influences on its sleeve. It has the conquer-the-map tension of Advance Wars as well as the creative asymmetry of different player races: the fleshy Terrans, chitinous Insectoids and metallic...Robots. The abilities and interactions across these units are rather lively and varied, walking the fine edge between ‘interesting’ and ‘unbalanced’. Hotseat play is simple as can be, with quite a few maps offered, and there’s also online play.

Words with Friends 2

Developer: Zygna Platforms: iOS, Android Price: Free

Words with Friends has been around almost as long as smartphones themselves, and it’s still a golden way to spend the better part of a day or longer. Yes, it’s like that other classic board game, and there’s a delicious subtext of who-spells-what-when. (Words score points but also...score points, making associations, repartee, even a kind of conversation). It just works on multiple levels, from a pure gameplay perspective but also in terms of social pay-out and connection. Oh, and on the gameplay front, it’s worth noting that advanced play involves so much more than just scoring the most impressive single word on a given turn. It also means thinking about positioning, letter draws and pacing, bonuses: basically long-con strategy stuff. Words with Friends is an oldie but a goodie, and a surprisingly handy way to keep in touch with friends.

Burgle Bros. (Review)

Developer: Fowers Games Inc. Platforms: iOS, Android Price: $4.99

Co-op games are great, but even the greats tend to be best either purely solo or with the max player count. Burgle Bros, however, is unique in that it shines especially with two. With two, the joint is cased twice as fast, but hiding is much harder. To quickly reprise the game for those unfamiliar: players explore each floor’s tiles till they discover the safe, crack the combination, retrieve the and advance to the next level. Patrolling guards and alarms will make things difficult, and if any player runs out of stealth points they risk getting caught and getting sent to the slammer. Some of the game’s more advanced tactics and interactions really only come into their own with a dynamic duo. Yes, gadgets and treasures along with character abilities combine but the real clincher is the pathing and alert system. Guards can be re-routed by tripping alarms, so the best teams take heat for each other. Two-player stealth doesn’t get much better than this.

Onitama

Developer: Asmodee Digital Platforms: iOS, Android Price: Free (with expansions, content packs as optional DLC)

Onitama is a game primarily about not losing. Sounds like weak, roundabout praise, I know, but what this means in practice is thinking many steps in advance, reasoning recursively to move from point B to point A, something surprisingly difficult. Woah there, let's back up a little and actually talk about the game. Onitama is a two-player abstract game played on a two-dimensional square grid, much like chess. Players win by either capturing their opponent's 'King' piece or alternatively by moving their own respective King onto the other player's start space. The twist is how movement patterns work, for they are dictated by cards which can be used once, then eventually become playable by the opponent. There are only five given movement pattern cards (of a larger set) in a specific game, and this larger flow between good positioning and a good hand of cards makes the game quite intense. The app is free and as well-polished as any of Asmodee's releases.

Neuroshima Hex

Developer: Portal Games Platforms: iOS, Android Price: $4.99, 2.99

This one features asymmetrical factions trying to control the board by selecting two of three tiles (six-sided hexes, that is) each turn. The post-apocalyptic setting and wildly divergent playstyles of the groups make it an unusually colorful strategy game, but these flourishes of variety do nothing to detract from the game’s balance. The base game only includes four races, but that alone is plenty to start with and the rest are available as paid DLC. Tile-laying madcap fun.

Glow Hockey 2

Developer: Natenai Ariyatrakool Platforms: iOS, Android Price: $0.99, Free.

Arcade- or action-style two player games are the epitome of beer-and-pretzel fun. Crystal clear consequences, nothing to overthink or overanalyze just quick wrists instead of quick wits. Pure impulse and reaction make for some reliable fun, and Glow Hockey is a passable digital dupe for Air Hockey, minus the constant click-clack of the pucks. The physics are satisfying, the controls responsive. It works well in an understated and way that is impossible to hype, but it still entirely worth recognizing.

Antihero (Review)

Developer: Versus Evil Platforms: iOS, Android Price: $4.99

There is no high road in Antihero. Mischief and misfortune rule in its Victorian, Dickensian setting which makes the sooty and sullen into something fun. (The art direction and design are majorly on point with this game). Plus, the game itself is incredibly intense and stressful, always putting players in a race for victory points over a shockingly brief time. The game still manages to have a distinct beginning, middle, and end while allowing for a non-trivial variety of build paths and playstyles. It’s fog-of-war and bluff systems inject just enough tension to keep the game from becoming deterministic, and it’s one of the best original digital games to come out within recent memory. Oh, and it’s exclusively for two players, either through asynchronous or real-time play.

Ready Steady Bang

Developer: Cowboy Games Platforms: iOS, Android Price: $0.99, Free.

A western showdown at sundown. Quick-draw, one-shot, one-kill. Ready, Steady, Bang is this experience, over and over, with variable countdown timing and a variety of death animations. Technically there’s also a short ‘campaign’ mode vs. AI with ironclad timing thresholds, but the meat of the game can be reduced to a single perfectly timed gesture. Dead simple, quick and satisfying. Just don’t be the other guy.

Patchwork (Review)

Developer: DIGIDICED Platforms: iOS, Android Price: $2.99

Patchwork may be pint-sized compared to some of its juggernaut neighbors on this list, but what it lacks in player count or time commitment it makes up in charm and crystal-clear, razor sharp strategy. (Those two make for quite the odd couple) Patchwork is a variable-setup perfect information abstract for two players. Players work to fill up their empty boards by adding patches to them, of various polyomino sizing, with the ultimate goal of filling the whole swath and collecting as many covetous buttons along the way. It is almost instantly intuitive yet perplexing and sophisticated even after dozens of plays, with turns chained together or telegraphed from miles away. A sweet game that can also be a hardcore match of wits.

What are your favourite games to play between two people? Let us know in the comments!

Excellent Two Player Games on iPhone, iPad and Android published first on https://touchgen.tumblr.com/

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chompslurrpburp · 7 years ago

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One can never run out of options when it comes to heading out in Delhi – we love our classic sit downs and we love our Momo walla stalls. But leave it to me time and again I choose those pretty, cozy places that don’t just win your heart with the resplendent food but also their breathtaking and tastefully done interiors. And if they also serve breakfast, I am a fan like no other. Here is our pick – 10 prettiest place we have been to in this past year. (Can’t believe the year is ending already!)

SodaBottleOpenerWala, Khan Market and DLF Cyberhub

This is one our absolute favourite cafes, we LOVE their Breakfast menu, their pop ups, the eggs kejriwal and just the general vibe. When at Cyberhub, my heart is always set at the gorgeous corner with flowers in teapots and all things vintage. At Khan Market, the train running overhead has the Sheldons in us piping with joy and the terrace is quirky, peppy and gorgeous. SBOW, for an authentic Parsi experience with Bombay favourites and so much prettiness.

SBOW at Cyberhub

SBOW at Khan Market

Civil House, Khan Market

This boutique style cafe houses a gorgeous patio in the middle of Khan Market. White texture walls, hand illustrations, pop of yellows and oranges, fresh flower vines donning the place and a longing for open air Tuscany cafes. You can shop for pretty exciting labels and delectable food.

Imperfecto, Hauz Khas Village

The wacky upside down “IMPERFECTO” is the first thing to catch your eye as you enter Hauz Khas Village. Once a prime hangout spot, Hauz Khas still see loyalists coming to their favourite outlets. This quirky version with all the imperfections, fairy lights, Jackson Pollock inspired wall paints and the iconic chair, remains a hot party spot and the terrace gives one of the prettiest views for the fort remains.

Lavaash by Saby, Mehrauli

The famed place for Armenian x Bengali cuisine, Chef Saby and Chef Megha dish out delicious meats all year round with special winter and summer editions. With a view of the majestic Qutub Minar, they have a cozy outside area with a porch swing, colorful prints with thread work upholstery and the huge blue frames hanging inside just have my heart.

Mr. Mamagoto, DLF Cyberhub

The quirky, sophisticated cousin to Mamagoto, Mr. Mamagoto adds a vintage charm to Cyberhub with all its pop art, muted colors and floral juxtaposition with the traditional Asian art. The primary color splashes do add the Mamagoto touch to this fine dine restaurant. Also, their chicken liver pate and fried calamari are not to be missed.

HONK, Pullman, Aerocity

This authentic Asian restaurant is perfect for a fancy date night. Over turned cane baskets acting as lamps, and comfortable couches. The warm Asian vibe sets the mood just right and the sprawling glasses over looking their gorgeous garden. Also, their wine selection is killer and the authentic Rendang curry, like no other.

Olive, Mehrauli

Olive, definitely does perfect interiors. The patio style dining with flowy curtains, natural greens, rustic interiors transport you right up. Add on their beautifully plated food and delicate yet delectable flavours, and you have a game changer.

Interiors at Olive, Qutub

Olive, Qutub

Dine Al fresco

Parallel, Khan Market

Like the name suggests, this minimalist cafe is my personal favourite. Their clean lines, threadwork, pops of yellow dandelions and French windows are everything. Pick your spot near the windows and fluffy yellow cushions, a good book and their yummy breakfast spread.

Lady Baga, Connaught Place

Goa feels in Delhi are synonymous with Lady Baga – shacks, low seating couches, fairy lights and a sprawling bar. They have even fixed a minivan with bright colors and psychedelic patterns. Like Goa, their shots are so cool and we are totally in love with their Portuguese menu.

Smoke House Deli, Khan Market

If hand painted illustrations get you going, this is THE place for you to check out. Although my favourite was at Hauz Khas Village with the fort illustrations overlooking the lake. The one at Khan Market has an old world charm, with quotes from famous quotes and capturing the essence of Khan Market with grand father clocks, oldie telephones and typewriter. The breakfast, steak and the new addition of waffles, yumm.

Smokehouse Deli, Khan Market

Only 40 days to a new year, here’s to prettier times and more exciting food.

Our pick of Delhi’s 10 prettiest restaurants One can never run out of options when it comes to heading out in Delhi - we love our classic sit downs and we love our Momo walla stalls.

#ambiance #artistis #Cafe #cafe interiors #date places #delhi #pretty #romantic #vintage

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waynekelton · 6 years ago

Text

Excellent Two Player Games on iPhone, iPad and Android

If you want something epic to embark on on your own, how about taking a look at these great RPGs?

Reader Recommendations

Ticket to Ride

Potion Explosion

Lords of Waterdeep

Splendor

Istanbul

Through the Ages

Indian Summer

Tides of Time (Review)

Developer: Portal Games Platforms: iOS & Android Price: $4.99

Morels (Review)

Developer: Mossbark Games Platforms: iOS Universal, Android Price: $4.99

Uniwar

Developer: Spooky House Studios Platforms: iOS, Android Price: Free with non-invasive IAP

Words with Friends 2

Developer: Zygna Platforms: iOS, Android Price: Free

Burgle Bros. (Review)

Developer: Fowers Games Inc. Platforms: iOS, Android Price: $4.99

Onitama

Developer: Asmodee Digital Platforms: iOS, Android Price: Free (with expansions, content packs as optional DLC)

Neuroshima Hex

Developer: Portal Games Platforms: iOS, Android Price: $4.99, 2.99

Glow Hockey 2

Developer: Natenai Ariyatrakool Platforms: iOS, Android Price: $0.99, Free.

Antihero (Review)

Developer: Versus Evil Platforms: iOS, Android Price: $4.99

Ready Steady Bang

Developer: Cowboy Games Platforms: iOS, Android Price: $0.99, Free.

Patchwork (Review)

Developer: DIGIDICED Platforms: iOS, Android Price: $2.99

What are your favourite games to play between two people? Let us know in the comments!

Excellent Two Player Games on iPhone, iPad and Android published first on https://touchgen.tumblr.com/

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waynekelton · 6 years ago

Text

The Best Two Player Games on iPhone, iPad and Android

If you want something epic to embark on on your own, how about taking a look at these great RPGs?

Editor's Top Tip: I've been playing a lot of Ticket to Ride with my wife recently. It's already on our list of the best Board Games so it's not feature below, but between the challenging bots and the pass-and-play functionality, it's a great one to whip out when it's just the two of us and we're stuck for something to do.

Morels (Review)

Developer: Mossbark Games Platforms: iOS Universal, Android Price: $4.99

Uniwar

Developer: Spooky House Studios Platforms: iOS, Android Price: Free with non-invasive IAP

Words with Friends 2

Developer: Zygna Platforms: iOS, Android Price: Free

Burgle Bros. (Review)

Developer: Fowers Games Inc. Platforms: iOS, Android Price: $4.99

Onitama

Developer: Asmodee Digital Platforms: iOS, Android Price: Free (with expansions, content packs as optional DLC)

Neuroshima Hex

Developer: Portal Games Platforms: iOS, Android Price: $4.99, 2.99

Glow Hockey 2

Developer: Natenai Ariyatrakool Platforms: iOS, Android Price: $0.99, Free.

Antihero (Review)

Developer: Versus Evil Platforms: iOS, Android Price: $4.99

Ready Steady Bang

Developer: Cowboy Games Platforms: iOS, Android Price: $0.99, Free.

Patchwork (Review)

Developer: DIGIDICED Platforms: iOS, Android Price: $2.99

What are your favourite games to play between two people? Let us know in the comments!

The Best Two Player Games on iPhone, iPad and Android published first on https://touchgen.tumblr.com/

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