#that makes me feel better skjnfkg

[andthebubbles]

not that it matters to anyone but for the next week or so i won’t be checking the seb tracked tag but just a few people’s blogs instead for my seb content becaaaause there have been soooo many posts on seb’s retirement to the point that it’s starting to annoy me and i’m starting to be like ‘just go already’ which is not exactly what i actually feel skjfnkfkfgkf. like, you can post all you like about that and that’s fine, but so many people are doing it and i don’t want to see it anymore

but then i started to ponder why i’m not so bothered that he’s leaving, and i think it’s because 1. i only sporadically watch f1 now, 2. i like seb but not in the same way as in the rbr days when i used to think the sun shone out of his arse; i LIKE him but, 3. possibly i like rbr!seb more than am!seb. am!seb is lovely and has grown up so well but i’m still more attached to the racing-is-everything singlemindedness must-win rbr!seb, i guess that’s because i relate to that better. i did also like the little nuggets of wisdom rbr!seb used to drop. am!seb drops beautiful lines about hanna meanwhile and less about how to live your life (or whatever it was), and ngl i am not as left as seb is when it comes to environmental issues. i respect that he’s passionate about it though. but i’m not one of those people who looks to famous people as a bunch of viewpoints and makes sure mine align with theirs, and then get angry when they support something i don’t. after all they’re just people, not someone to put on a pedestal, and maybe this is why i’m comparatively fine with seb just leaving and going to do something else. he’s just... a person first and foremost, not ... idk, an embodiment of f1? probably it helps though that i don’t watch f1 so dedicatedly anymore. (on the other hand, maybe i’ve entirely missed the point.)

DUNNO. it feels like whoever’s gonna read this is gonna be mad at me now, but like... maybe i’m just getting old, or more likely i’ve just stopped being so fandomly passionate about what i like. idk why i’ve become this way. maybe i’ve tried so hard to just shrug and move on about things that i would’ve gotten mad/upset about in the past that now i can’t stop doing it to the point that it’s read as apathetic. but idk, i’d say this is better than the way it was in 2012-2014 when f1 used to either boost or utterly ruin my mental health for at least 24 hours after each race, to the point that i took like a 6 year break from it and came back all chill and apathetic lol.