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americanowrites · 6 years ago

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All I Want

CHAPTER 6

“You pull on that dress one more time and I’ll throw my shoe at you,” Lauren yelled at me, I looked up to see her glaring at me in the mirror. She was stood playing around with her hair which she claimed looked terrible, all I could see were perfectly formed curls framing her perfectly contoured face, expert eye liner to match. She’d poured her body into a very tight fitting dress, one which created curves in places there weren’t any but still made her look slimmer than ever. I hated her slightly. “You look fine.”

Sometimes I look in the mirror and can’t see past the flaws staring back at me, the wideness of my jaw, my big lips, the dip in my nose. The double chin. I didn’t tend to look in full length mirrors, the flaws would be too long to list, but I knew my round tummy and thick thighs would be top of the list. There were big flashing red arrows pointing out everything wrong with me, constantly reminding me what was hideous about me, a daily reminder to hate myself.

“I don’t want to look fine.” I sighed, I knew what I looked like and I hated it. I felt like a whale and I looked like one, maybe even two.

“You look beautiful and that dress is gorgeous.” She continued to stare at me, whilst rolling lipstick over her already red lips. I looked away from her eyes and down at the dress. It was gorgeous, I’d give her that. It just didn’t mean it looked gorgeous on me. I kept hearing what those girls had said, seeing the looks they gave me whenever I looked in the mirror. I felt constantly sick whenever I thought about it and I couldn’t stop thinking about it. But I’d fallen in love with it instantly so bought it despite knowing it would look nicer if I lost a few pounds; the cream mesh fabric was see-through, giving a view of the material beneath. It actually complimented my pale skin instead of making me ghostly and self-conscious. The shimmery golden flowers dotted on the mesh give it more of a party feel, I just prayed I would fit in amongst all the designer dresses and shoes. I’d stuck with nude wedges, a choice I was sure to regret. I was tempted to just go in flats but both Lauren and Lucy would refuse to let me leave the house in flats. Lauren had already made a comment about being shocked I wasn’t in Vans.

“What time’s Tom getting here?”

“Ten minutes ago,” Lauren sighed, finally happy with her appearance she turned away from the mirror. “He text saying he’s on his way, but I’m not sure.”

“London traffic is a nightmare.”

“Sticking up for Tom, whatever next?”

“I’m pointing out fact.”

“Can I ask you a question?” she put down the lipstick she was playing around with, turning her full attention to me.

“Sure.” I tried to sound confident, but the look in her eye was making me feel quite nauseous.

“Just… what’s going on with you and Harry?” she glanced away, clearly not as confident in her questioning as she seemed.

“Nothing,” she cocked her head, not believing me. “Honestly, we’re friends. I think. I really don’t get why everyone is so weird about it. Can’t we be friends?” we were friends because I wasn’t stupid enough to think anything else would ever happen. I mean, he’s Harry Styles and I’m me. I didn’t make boys look twice, I didn’t turn heads and I wasn’t the type of girls boys dreamed about. I couldn’t attract attention from normal, non-famous boys I saw every day, so what hope did I have of ever attracting the eye of Harry Styles?

“Of course, I just don’t want you to get hurt.”

“Why would I get hurt?” I sat on the bed, my feet were already stating ache, as was my head.

“His life is different… difficult.”

“Don’t you think I know that? Honestly why is everyone acting like I don’t know who he is? I’m well aware of who Harry Styles is. I can handle it.”

“Okay, fine. Just be careful.”

“Girls!” Lucy’s voice came from across the hall, she’d been in the kitchen pretending to cook but I knew she’d been trying to listen to our conversation. She had also been quizzing Lauren on Harry and me, trying to find anything out. She refused to believe that we were just friends. Apparently girls and boys couldn’t be friends.

“What?”

“Come here, don’t shout April.” I groaned and rolled my eyes, she was just shouting and now suddenly it was acceptable. Lauren laughed before strolling from my bedroom, taking her clutch with her, our conversation suddenly forgotten. I looked around making sure I had everything before following her.

“What?” I found her and Lauren at the breakfast bar, drinks in hand. “Why are you drinking champagne?” I frowned, as I watched Lucy pour me a glass, the bubbles shooting up the sides of the glass made it look like a bath bomb.

“Because you’re about to go to a celebrity party, I’m sure the champagne will be better than this, but at least you’ll be slightly accustomed to it.”

“Harry isn’t really the champagne type.” I accepted the glass she held out, I’d had champagne before, but I never liked it. It had an odd taste and I’m not sure why it was such a beloved drink.

“I imagine he is. Just imagine the stuff he drinks, probably treats Moet like bottled water.” Lauren replied, I frowned at her, wondering where that image of Harry had come from.

“You know Harry’s not like that. He drank Corona with me.” He seemed pleased with the drink I bought him the other day, and he’d drunk it all.

“Because he thinks he needs to act like a student to get you to like him. You’ll see a different side to him tonight. Guaranteed,” She gulped down her flute, looking the opposite of ladylike. I was about to reply when the intercom buzzed. “Thank god for that.” Lauren sprang around the door and picked up the phone, like she lived here. Lucy laughed before coming over to me as I listened to Lauren yelling at Tom.

“Have a good time and please enjoy yourself. Remember Harry wants you there.” She rubbed my arms and squeezed slightly, before Lauren stuck her head around the corner.

“We need to go; he’s having a bitch fit about the cab fare.” She rolled her eyes. “See you later Lucy Lu!”

“Bye, look after each other.” She told us as we reached the door. “If David Beckham turns up, send him over.”

We had to sign in. There was a register. We didn’t even have those at uni for our classes. Yet Harry had one at his birthday party. There were also two security men at the door and one inside, they looked a bit scary with their frowns and black clothing, but I guess they were meant to. Tom found it hilarious, saying how he remembered him having a party at the local children’s restaurant and it being odd that we were now at a private members club in Mayfair having to sign in to a party. Lauren mumbled something about it being pretentious and over the top. But I knew it was a precaution that needed to be in place, especially after seeing the men outside all stood around waiting for someone photo worthy walking past. We’d been ignored, thankfully but it didn’t stop them from taking good long looks at us, assessing us and our monetary value.

The party was on the second floor, but the music was booming throughout the building, the bass making the floorboards jolt and shake. It wasn’t the music I knew Harry listened to, but The 1975 were hardly party friendly, instead chart hits and EDM seemed to be the DJs choice. Lauren trailed behind Tom and I as we made our way upstairs, she was already complaining about her feet hurting and neither of us had any sympathy.

“Hurry up Lauren.” Tom called over his shoulder at her.

“If you were a gentleman, you’d come and help your girlfriend.”

“If you were capable of thinking, you’d have thought about this scenario.”

“Sorry I presumed there wouldn’t be stairs; blame the popstar, not me. I’m gonna give him hell when I see him.”

“Shut up the pair of you.” I snapped, they’d done nothing but bicker all the way here, about Tom’s lateness, the traffic, their present for Harry. Everything. I was about ready to push them both down the stairs.

We rounded a corner and came face to face with an open door and another security man. This one looked friendlier.

“Hi,” I smiled at him, he returned the smile before smirking at Lauren, who came up behind us huffing and puffing. “Don’t mind her; she’s just not used to exercise.” The man laughed before gesturing for our hands. He held out a stamp, and pressed it to my skin. It left a big red H on my hand, just like something you’d get in a club. I moved my brows in question.

“In case you need to go outside for a fag break. We can let you back in,” He stamped Tom and Lauren before moving away from the door. “In you go. Harry’s over in the corner.”

The room was dark, very dark, the only light coming from the flashing lights. Strobes of red, blue, orange moved across the walls, in a deliberate attempt to make you feel drunker. It was packed, I had expected a small party but there looked to be over a hundred people crowded into the room. Except it wasn’t really a room, it did look like a club, the floor was tiled and shiny, but lacked the traditional stickiness found in clubs. And there was a full length bar to the left of me, with a wall of alcohol and glasses.

“Is it a free bar? I hope it is.” Lauren yelled at the side of me, the music made it hard to hear much. I couldn’t even recognise the song it was so loud.

“I think he said it was.” Tom replied, slipping his hand onto her waist and pulling her over to the bar. They left me stood in the middle of the room looking around me, not knowing what to do, where to go or who to talk to.

“You look a little lost,” A voice boomed in my ear after a few moments of panic, a blush spreading across my cheeks at the proximity of the stranger and the feeling of breathe against my hair. To my right staring at me, was mound of hair and brown eyes. Nick Grimshaw, I forgot him and Harry were friends. I started failing, my mouth opening and closing as Nick assessed me with a smirk on his face. “You are meant to be here right?” I nodded, my mouth snapping closed. “What’s your name?”

“April.” I stuttered out, my blush deepening at my hideous display. I had no idea why I was acting like this, why I seemed to be starstruck. He talked on the radio; I didn’t even listen to him.

“Ah, yeah I know you. Harry’s over here.” He grabbed my hand and pulled me through the mass of bodies, calling out greetings as he passed people. I tightened my grip on the parcel in my hand. The present I’d bought for Harry suddenly feeling a ton heavier as regret set when the people thinned out and I caught a glimpse of a pile of presents in the corner. “Look who I found!” Nick yelled again, stopping us from walking. I looked around his body to see Harry snap his head towards Nick, his mouth opening in question before his eyes found mine. His face transformed from blank to a heartbreakingly wide smile in a second, making his dimples indent, eyes crinkle and my heart thump.

“April!” He jumped off his seat, the brown haired girl next to him grunting as he stumbled over her legs and bounded over to me. Nick managed to drop my hand and move away before Harry encased me in a tight hug.

My heart kicked up its tempo, my arms automatically circling his waist, the buckle of his belt digging into my stomach as he squeezed me. We’d never hugged before so I wasn’t prepared for the assault on my emotions and nose. I didn’t really know how to respond, I wasn’t a hugger and my heart and belly were both jumping and jolting about.

“I’m so glad you’re here.” Harry mumbled into my hair, his voice sending a tickle throughout my body. Despite the loud music and talking, I had no trouble hearing him.

“I said I’d be here.” I rubbed my free hand up and down his back, the fabric of his shirt moving against my hand and the hardness of his muscles making my palms sweat.

“I know. But I did wonder,” He laughed and pulled away, his cheeks slightly pink. I wanted to reach up and touch the pieces of his hair falling into his eyes, but he lifted a hand from my waist and shoved his whole fringe above his head before I had chance to embarrass myself. “Are Tom and Lauren here?” He looked over my head, pointlessly searching for them in the sea of people.

“They found the bar. And I hope it’s an open one, or Lauren will be pissed.”

“Won’t she be pissed anyway?” I laughed at his joke. “Come and meet people! I’m so happy you’re here,” If he didn’t stop saying that, I may collapse. He dropped his hold on my waist, but slipped his hand into mine, our fingers entwined. My heart twisting and tightening as we moved towards a table full of people. We were holding hands and I wasn’t sure why but I liked it.

“Guys this is April. She’s the genius I told you about; she’s also very funny, total mastermind when it comes to films and music and she looks extra pretty tonight.” I blushed at his introduction, looking down at my feet, making sure to suck in my stomach as a series of chuckles emitted from the people sat around the table. I quickly glanced at the faces, recognising no one, apart from Nick. At least I had time to prepare for the celebrities; if I knocked back a few beers it might not be so bad. “April, this is Sam, Lou, Ben, Tom and the girl sat sending me evil daggers is Gemma.” He pointed to the girl he’d been sat next too; she stuck her tongue out at him before smiling at me.

“I’m his big sister, so any concerns about his behaviour please direct them to me and I’ll pass them along to our mother. He’s already slightly drunk, so excuse any funny business.” She had a deeper voice than I would have imagined, but the sibling resemblance was uncanny. She was Harry with long hair.

“I am not drunk, ignore her, she’s telling lies.” Harry told me, pouting his lips and shaking his head, my heart stammered at how cute he looked.

“I love your dress.” A high voice on my left turned my attention away from Harry’s eyes and lips. I saw a girl with grey and blue hair looking at me, a smile on her lips. I thought for a moment before remembering she was called Sam.

“Thank you.” I smiled; glad my outfit fit in with her choice of a black shift and combat boots. “It’s very pretty. Have I said that before?” Harry chuckled next to me, he really was drunk.

“Come and sit down April. Tell us all about being a genius.” Gemma called to me over the table, patting the seat next to her. I squeezed Harry’s hand and let go, moving towards his sister in a rare flash of bravery. I normally had to be forced to talk to new people, hence why I still had the same best friend I did at eight, but these people were smiling and with Harry watching me I was able to paint on my courage.

“She’s mine Gemma; you’ve stolen enough of my friends. Find your own.”

“Zip it. Go and get the girl a drink,” Harry dramatically flapped his arms around before turning towards the bar, gently pushing his way past a snogging couple. “So, tell us about yourself April.” The whole table turned and looked at me, my cheeks flushed at the attention. I looked down, pulling my dress, covering my legs with the short fabric.

“Um. I don’t really know what to say.” I tried to smile, but I think it came out wrong, my courage all but vanishing. Why did Harry have to leave me alone with strangers?

“What do you do?” I looked at the man who asked the question, I think he was called Ben. He looked older than the others, a beard covered his lower face, his eyes looked kind and genuine.

“I’m at uni, in Leeds.”

“Leeds, we’re from Hull,” I turned my head and caught the eye of Lou, as she pointed to between herself and Sam. “And Tom.” She pointed at the man next to Ben; he was itching at a tattoo on his crowded arm, the inking’s twisting and morphing as he moved.

“I’ve been to Hull fair before.” I didn’t really know what else to say, so I pulled out the only thing I knew about the place.

“Hull fair is ace; we take Lux every year.” Tom told me, I knew from the fandom that Lux was a baby Harry was often with. I suddenly remembered seeing Lou’s face before; I’d seen her in photos of the boys.

“You’re the band’s hairdresser aren’t you?” I asked Lou, she smiled at me, not at all startled by my sudden question.

“I am. Not that they ever let me do any hairdressing. I do their makeup too.”

“Makeup?” I couldn’t help but smirk, the idea of the boys sat in chairs getting powder pressed to their cheeks was hilarious.

“Harry isn’t as flawless as he claims; he needs a lot of help.” Gemma replied, dragging a laugh from my lips. It felt extremely bizarre to be sat with the people Harry cared about, people who knew every side of him. I crazily felt like I actually fit in with these people.

“Yeah he does think he’s pretty awesome.” I replied, this time causing her to laugh.

“I like you; clearly you’re immune to his charm offence. It’s lovely to find someone like that.” I laughed, not wanting to admit that I was putty in his hands and he didn’t even have to try and charm me.”

“The same can’t be said for my sister. I think she fell in love with him.”

“He’s met your sister?” Gemma’s brows lifted up her forehead, they were perfectly plucked and shaped.

“Yeah, last night.”

“Where?” Her tone had changed to serious, she wasn’t joking anymore.

“I went for dinner with Lucy and her boyfriend and Harry showed up. He said he was eating alone so he joined us.” Gemma frowned at my answer and I felt like I’d given her the wrong answer.

“Have you heard this?” The rest of the table had started their own conversations, but turned back to Gemma. “Harry was with April and her sister last night.” Her tone held a note of disbelief. Tom and Ben both laughed.

“Why do I feel like I shouldn’t have said that?” I asked the table, causing Tom to laugh louder.

“Because that little shit had dinner plans with us and he cancelled, said had band stuff to do, something about the Brits. I can’t believe him.” Gemma sounded mad and looked ready to knock his head off.

“I’m sorry. He said he was alone or I wouldn’t have let him stay.” I can’t believe Harry cancelled on his sister and friends, to stay and eat dinner with me, Lucy and her freaky boyfriend.

“It’s not your fault, April.” Lou told me, reaching across and tapping my hand.

“He’s such a shit,” Gemma was sat fuming. “Why lie? It was his bloody idea.”

“Gemma, don’t say anything tonight, wait until tomorrow at least. He needs tonight.”

“He needs a slap.”

“Who needs a slap?” Harry’s timing was incredible, the table turned to look at Gemma, fearing she was about to blow.

“David Cameron, I mean he’s policies are just stupid.” She gave him a seamless answer, the lie falling easily. Harry gave her a funny look, not fully buying her response but he let it go as he slid a glass towards me.

“I didn’t know what to get, so I got you a long island iced tea. Lauren said you liked them.” Harry smiled and pulled out a chair opposite me.

“Thanks.” I smiled back before taking a sip of the drink. I did like long islands, but I knew I wouldn’t be having another one tonight, my eyes nearly watering at the strength of it.

“So have you had an interrogation?” He picked up his glass; the liquid was clear so it could have been anything.

“Not at all, they’ve been very nice. I hear you like to wear makeup.” Harry took a drink at the same moment I spoke; he coughed at my mention of makeup and sent liquid flying around the table.

“Smooth.” Gemma laughed at my side, as did the whole table. Harry’s cheeks turned pink and he scowled at his friends.

“I do not wear makeup.” Harry stared at me, deadly serious.

“Oh hun, the makeup bag I have at home with your name superimposed on it, would suggest you’re lying.”

“Shut up Lou!”

“Stop lying Harry!” They sat making faces at each other; acting more like brother and sister than work colleagues “I need a drink if I’m gonna deal with you all night, nice of you to offer your other guests a drink Harry.”

“You know where the bar is, you have functioning legs,” He coolly replied, which caused Tom to whoop from across the table. Lou stood up, glaring at her boyfriend, Sam and Gemma followed her lead, pushing their way past the boys around the table. I watched as they pushed their way into the crowd and felt Harry drop down at my side. “Hi.” He grinned at me.

“Hey, happy birthday!”

“Thank you very much. I spy something… Dare I ask if it’s for me?” He wriggled his eyebrows at the parcel I still had clutched in my hand, excitement colouring his voice.

“You dare and it is for you. I kinda feel I should warn you not to expect much.”

“I didn’t expect anything, so I’m already happy.”

“That is such a cliché answer. Everyone expects presents on their birthday.”

“True and I’m secretly bursting with excitement about the pile I’ve got forming over there. It’s huge and I’m a child.” I laughed and handed him the gift, I’d wrapped it in pink shiny foil paper and topped it with a purple bow.

“Love the paper. Very manly.”

“Says the guy in the heart shirt.” I eyeballed his button up, the dark shirt was littered with white love hearts and it honestly looked like something a woman would wear. “Did your mother lend you that?”

“Yeah, cos I haven’t heard that before. It’s Burberry. Men’s.” He added.

“Just because it’s Burberry, doesn’t excuse it.” I secretly loved the shirt, it made him look very cute and the dark fabric complimented his skin tone perfectly.

“Whatever, you’re as bad as Gemma. She didn’t stop laughing for an hour after she saw me.” He was running his fingers over the present, in an attempt to figure out what it was.

“I wish I could say the paper was a joke, but it was the only stuff I had and I’m tight so I wasn’t buying another roll.” Harry laughed before sticking a finger into a gap and ripping the paper off, he wasn’t one to save the paper, though he had removed the bow and stuck it in his shirt pocket. He stared at the gift before cracking up, rolling his head back.

“I hope you aren’t suggesting I need this?” He waved the book about.

“Take it any way you wish.” I took another sip of my drink; the ice had diluted the alcohol slightly.

“You know I’m going to be bombarding you with jokes now. I might instate a daily joke service. How do you feel about daily texts?”

“I’ll block your number.”

“You love my jokes. Everyone does.”

“Did you miss the part where I bought you a joke book? I really recommend you read it. ASAP.”

“Whatever, I’m so underappreciated,” he huffed, leaning back against the back of the chair, before throwing himself forward again, his face looming close to mine. I could see the tiny wisps of hair dotting his upper lip. “Thank you very much April. It is the best present I’ve ever had.” He placed a kiss against my cheek, holding it for a few seconds while my heart clattered about before blowing against my skin, the smarting of fine hair on his chin and the vibration both resulting in a series of high pitched squeals from me.

“Harry!” I screeched at his move, feeling a patch of spit on my cheek. I lifted his arm using it to wipe against the wet patch he’d left. Harry was dying with laughter his entire face bright red as he howled, people sending us curious glances while Harry struggled to breathe.

“Your face was a picture!” His whole face was scrunched up in glee, a sight that had my own lips twitching.

“You’re a dick.” I crossed my arms, trying my best to imitate the pouted lips he wore so well.

“Oh come on, smile.” He poked my side, causing me to jump. He then did it again and again, until a laugh escaped.

“Stop it!” I coughed out between giggles.

“Never!” He yelled through a roll of laughter, jabbing me a few more times before we both heard a cough. “Niall!” Harry bellowed, holding his arms out to his bandmate, leaving me breathless and nursing my aching ribs.

Niall Horan was stood looking at me, his eyes were glued on me, the bright blue colour visible even in the dark room, roaming over my face, taking me in. his intensity was causing me to blush. Again.

“ ’Sup, who’s ya pal?” He nodded at me, dropping a wink in my direction, his eyes locking on mine.

“This is April Summers.” Harry slid an arm around my shoulders. An exchange seemed to take place between Harry and Niall, a silent conversation told with their eyes.

“April Summers, lovely to meet you. I’m Niall.” He said my name with a hint of familiarity and came so close to me, his eyes blurred in my vision, before leaning down and kissing my cheek.

“Hi, Niall.” I smiled as he leant back up. He looked a lot younger than in photos; his baby soft face and bright blue eyes gave him a youthful and naïve appearance.

“Liam’s around somewhere, I lost him by the models.” Niall shrugged, not seeming to care about his friend as he laughed. I was certain Liam had a girlfriend but I wasn’t about to question it.

“Where’s my present?” Harry asked Niall, necking back a drink that seemed to appear from nowhere.

“In the shop,” Niall reached across for my drink, not asking before he took a sip. He cringed at the taste. “That tastes like shit.” He pushed the drink back to me; I definitely wasn’t drinking it now it had his germs all over it.

“I know.” I told him, hearing a gasp from Harry.

“What? I thought you liked it.” He looked wounded, his smile disappearing as his eyes and lips doubled in size. His pout was painful.

“I do normally, it’s just very strong and I’d like to be able to remember how to walk.”

“You should have said, I’d have gotten you something else. Have mine,” He lifted the glass to me, before realising it was empty, his face dropping as he turned back to me. “I’ll go get another one.” He made a move to stand up, but stopped when Niall held his hand up.

“I’ll go mate, I need one too. What you having?” He asked me with a smile on his face.

“Corona please.”

“Coming up mi ’lady.” He dropped another wink, making Harry create a retching noise and making me jab my elbow at him. Niall ignored him and sauntered off towards the bar.

“I’ll have to keep an eye on him.” I heard Harry mumble, but I ignored him and watched the partygoers throw themselves around the room, the hits of the past years ringing through their veins.

Harry sat with his head ducked, flipping through the pages of the joke book, I heard a soft snigger when he landed on a page near the back.

“Don’t tell me, it’s actually funny.”

“What's a frog's favourite drink?”

“Oh god.”

“Croaka Cola!” the grin stretched across his face was adorable, making up for the atrocious joke.

“That book was supposed to make your jokes better!”

“That joke is brilliant!”

“A frog could actually think of a better one.”

“Debatable. Wouldn’t tell em like I can.” My heart stammered when he dropped a wink at me. I found myself staring at him for a few moments before I could speak again.

“W-what else did you get?”

“Gem got me a jacket, Lou got me a photo of Lux and me, put it in a frame Lux decorated and mum and Robin got me a camera.”

“You a photographer now?”

“Nah, not yet, wanna start taking more photos though. I see so much but don’t really see it too. Ya know?”

“Yeah,” I knew his life was full of touring amazing places but I also knew what fans were like, I was a part of the fandom, I saw the mobbing at airports and outside hotels, it wasn’t easy for any of the boys and Harry always seemed to have it worse. “You should make it a thing; try something new in every place you go. Like Strudel in Berlin or Churros in Mexico. Though you’ve probably had both of those, you can get Churros on bloody Oxford Street.”

“I had some at Chimichanga once, never from Oxford Street.”

“There’s a really awesome place called Seven, it’s in Brixton so a bit far out but the Churros are to die for and I want to bathe in the chocolate sauce.” Harry was staring at me while I spoke, probably shocked by my passion for Churros, the little smile on his face sending my blood pressure sky high.

“That good? We’ll have to good sometime. Think I can brave a trip to Brixton.”

“Once you’ve had them, you’ll walk a million miles for them. guaranteed.” My voice didn’t betray, didn’t let Harry hear how ecstatic I was about the idea of making plans with him, that we could take a road trip across the river and get lost in South London while stuffing our faces with sugary bites of heaven and singing along to our favourite bands. It was stupid to think it would happen, but I couldn’t stop the image lodging itself in my head.

***

I was drunk. My ears were fuzzy, like someone had stuffed cotton wool in them, and I was swaying. My eyes were also starting to tingle and blur at the sides. It was my own fault, so I had no right to complain about the hangover I could feel fermenting. I’d only drunk so much so I could try and get through the night, but my body didn’t seem to care about that, it was determined to punish me. I’d started necking back the shots when the stripper walked in, a women supposedly dressed as a police officer, had stormed in, demanding to speak to whoever’s party it was. Harry had shit himself, actually believing the woman as she sat him down and told him how naughty he’d been.

Of course it was all fake, it took Harry a little longer than necessary to realise, and in that time the women had shred her top and unbuttoned her trousers. Nick had bought Harry a stripper as a present, the whole room was in stitches, watching and snapping photos as Harry tried to cover his eyes and his cheeks burned, the grin never dropping from his face. If he hadn’t held my hand earlier and if I wasn’t so completely besotted with him when I had no reason to be, then I might have found it funny too. Instead I’d found it devastating, seeing everyone ogle her perfectly toned and curved body, while the grin on Harry’s face slowly killed me. He hadn’t touched, but only because he knew it was being filmed, I’m sure he wanted to.

I’d just thrown another vodka down my throat, contemplating how I could leave without saying goodbye when I felt fingers touch my back, before they slid around my front, encasing my against a firm body. The shiver down my spine alerted me to who it was.

“Come dance with me.” His words were slurred, tumbling together; he was as drunk as me, if not more. He didn’t phrase it as a question, more of a demand, but we both knew I’d never say no. He didn’t wait for my response, before pulling me backwards and further into him, our bodies pressed together in ways I’d only dreamed of. Holding me against his side, an arm still glued to my waist we walked into the mass of bodies; blending in under the dark lighting and the drunken swaying bodies.

He spun me around, a little too roughly for my suffering head, but all that vanished when our chests collided. I could feel his heart beating, the fast thud radiating into my own chest, mixing with my heartbeat. It felt like our hearts wanted to leap from our chests, given a chance, I knew mine would. It would leave me and run straight to him, where it was beginning to build a home.

He slowly wrapped his arms around my waist, pulling my lower body closer to him, every deliberate move made me feel more and more lightheaded. We were flush from head to toe; his belt buckle was digging into my stomach again, I could feel every part of him. Slipping my hands up his arms, revelling in the bumps and curves of him before locking my hands around his neck, I could feel his pulse practically quicken as we settled in our position. A few strands of his hair tickled my fingers, the soft curls slightly damp from the warm room, moved around my fingers. He started to slowly move us from side to side, swaying us. The music had calmed down, the heavy bass replaced with a soft, lulling Ben Howard song that seemed to float around us. Our foreheads moved towards each other, him having to bend down to reach mine, before our clammy skin touched. I never wanted to move again.

His spread his hands across my lower back, and with his long fingers holding me tight and close, I felt safer than I’d ever felt before. He slipped a hand inside the opening between the lace and slip of my dress; the heat of his hands easily seeping through the material, warming me to my core. I shivered, seeing a smile move across his face, transforming his features. He knew his effect on me.

Our eyes moved slowly to each other, both of us drinking in the sight of the other, my eyes roaming over his broad shoulders, the long expanse of his neck, his perfectly formed jaw bone. I could look at him forever and never get bored. Another shiver ran through me when I finally reached his eyes, finding them waiting for mine, the green I’d seen in photos for the past three years, would never match up to how they looked in real life. So many colours ran together, swirls of browns and dark greens, which no camera would ever capture it and I was so thankful for that. He pressed against my back, trying to get us closer, the roughness of his jeans against my bare legs only heightening the sensation. Our eyes didn’t stray as he moved his face towards me, lips slightly pursed, the gap between us closely quickly.

It was mere seconds before our noses touched, sliding against each other before slotting perfectly together. He stopped moving. I could feel his breath against my tingling lips, I wanted to move but I was frozen. I needed him to move. It was agonising. He grinned before moving again, slower. Painfully slow. Our lips ghosted over each other, barely touching. I barely registered the slight ridges of his chapped skin, before he pressed his plump, full lips against mine. My eyes closed and my head moved backwards, the force of his movement taking me by surprise. Our lips moving together instantly moved against one another, both of us battling for dominance. I curled my fingers around his hair, feeling him groan against my lips. His reaction had us both smiling against the others lips, the pressure never once wavering.

My heart was about to explode from my chest, when he forced my lips open, a blast of hot air hitting my throat. I gasped, unable to breathe fully as he gently nibbled my lower lip. His grip was the only thing keeping me from collapsing; I’d lost all feeling in my legs. I tightened my grip on his hair, scratching my nails against his scalp as he touched my lip with his tongue. I felt like I was on fire. Every inch of my body craved more. His tongue moved teasingly slowly over my lip, before it touched my own. A jolt ran through my body, I wanted to be closer to him, I needed to be closer. I was desperate for air, swallowing his breathes as I attempted to catch my own.

He groaned again, the sound vibrating around my mouth. We’d stopped swaying but he started to attempt walking backwards, out of the crowd I’d forgotten about. Our bodies collided with other guest; he let out a moan into my mouth. My eyes shot open, seeing his still closed, our mouths still moving together. I unwound my fingers from his hair and moved my arms down his chest, his heart still pounding. His eyes fluttered open, the green colour gone, replaced by his black pupils. I dragged my lips away, wanting to savour the feel I knew I’d never experience again. I gently pressed against his chest, separating our entwined bodies. The flash of confusion at my sudden distance nearly floored me.

“What’s wrong?” His was low; stirring something in me I wanted to squash.

“We can’t.” I shook my head, withdrawing my hands from him, the beat of his heart doing nothing to slow mine or clear my head.

“April. I want to.” He sighed my name; I closed my eyes, loving the way it sounded against his lips. I needed to get away before I welded our lips together again.

“No. You don’t. You’re drunk. I’m drunk. I’m going to go.” I took a step away from him; he followed immediately, closing the space again.

“Don’t go. Stay. Please.” His pleas were killing me as his hand grappled for mine. I didn’t let him entwine our fingers again. I knew he wouldn’t remember this in the morning. I would. I’d remember it forever. It would torture me.

“I don’t want to. Just let me go please. ” Something flashed across his eyes, I couldn’t tell what it was, but it destroyed me. I stepped away again, this time he made no attempt to follow. He let him arms fall against his sides, looking utterly defeated. I couldn’t even force a smile, before I spun on my feet and ran away.

She was at his birthday party. Fuck

Arry is real

I hate her

She’s so fat.

That dress looked ready to burst

Harry was so fucked he probs didn’t know she was there

She looks so rough in that photo gemma posted

What does harry see in her

#aiw #chapter 6

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