#that little boy's screams are going to haunt my nightmares tonight

[felinemotif]

that bastard killed su-yeong i'm so upset she was only nine years old and everything she did was to protect her little brother TT could have killed off any other character in that scene it did NOT have to be her

[missmarveledsblog]

Not just a flower child huh? ( logan howlett x reader ) part 3

summary : y/n finding her past haunting her more and more , people are starting to notice the way logan is with the new resident. when she gets upset she find she may have another gift to which leads to needing answers to what the lab done to her facing her fear of being tested on while her brother decides to make food from their childhood .

warnings : nightmare , flash backs, slow burnish , angst and fluff , google translated russian ( feel free to correct me ) , grammatical errors ( sorry )

( previous part)

Two months she was free  of the lab and yet she was still so out of place, she could talk to the kids and her brother mainly in russian as speaking english sometimes was bit exhausting . she did do the hangout thing with rogue both sitting in rogues room reading  but mostly in silence, short conversations but no more than a few sentences . she also would do same with people in the mansion unsure of how to socialize much, she also tied scott up couple more times although each time the vine got looser to point he was able to get himself out. She did love how more open the kids where lia and ana seemed love the attention of the other little girls and luka and henry loved the rough play with the other boys .  she couldn’t ask more than that , the kids actually getting to be kids . it was easier to talk to the younger residents , the older one though she could tell they were patient and it wasn’t them it was just hard concept of having people around . the greenhouse was her favorite place by far being able to have that quiet time and still watch the world around her it was best of both situations . she was even able to bring produce to the kitchen she learned to let it grow slower when they found themselves overstocked at one point but still it felt nice being able to contribute. 

The night though they never change each night she still would wake in a tear filled , panting and sweaty state . the screams were still as loud , the images still vibrant and vivid. Tonight she didn’t even bother trying to go back asleep . tiredly she dragged herself to the kitchen what she wasn’t expecting was her tea already on the counter made along with a blanket placed beside it and the back door open . wrapping the fuzzy soft material around her shoulder she took the mug in her hand and headed out only to smell that familiar scent. 

“ though you might enjoy looking at the stars without the glass in the way” logan turned to see her furrowed brow soften even a hint of a smile on her lips . 

“ don’t you ever sleep” she asked coming to his side as her eyes looked up at the sparkling stars . 

“ could ask you the same thing but i’m guessing your in the same boat” he turned back to look up at the sky. 

“ is sleep supposed to haunt you” she asked . 

“ i guess for us it does but it shouldn’t” he nodded . 

“ is the sky always like this ?” she asked again almost like a whisper. 

“ like what?” 

“ dark yet beautiful , i never seen anything like this in such alone time i used to think of it but it never was like this” . 

“ did you never get to see the outside world while you where there?” he asked chancing his arm on getting her to open up . 

“ not the sky no only a small window that would show if it was night or day” she mused. 

“ you made it not as bad for those kids , i mean without you they would of been well worse” he said looking at her seeing her eyes go glassy . 

“ i didn’t want them to feel like i did , i grew up in with those people , i know what that was like and i tried to make sure they didn’t” she sniffled looking up . “ i failed though” she added. 

“ you need to stop blaming yourself for something you had no control over”. 

“ it was my fault i tried to escape , i tried to leave and if i wasn’t knocked out i could of saved the others” she finally said running off back into the house . 

Morning finally came but she didn’t sleep not one bit , the past played in her head on loop almost like it was her own form of torture and she couldn’t get it out of her head nothing not even the stories she read could stop it . she walked down to the kitchen eyes filled with exhaustion , filled with sorrow and sadness as she got a cup of coffee hoping that it would help. It wasn’t missed on the other her mood as anything plant like around her either crumpled to dust or began to rot. Leaving the with her cup she headed to the living room the plant in the hall wilting and withering in her trail as she passed by the professor and storm . 

“ hey you ok” storm asked. 

“ tired is all “ she nodded leaving to the living room . 

“ you go see that the kids have eaten” professor gave sad smile as he turned to the living room watching her head hang low almost hiding her face from anyone who might pass by. 

“ you know dear i don’t need to look in your mind to know something is wrong” he called making her look up . 

“ you look in my mind and you will change how you feel about me” she sniffled . 

“ i have seen, your thoughts are loud and it does not change a thing , you are not the monster you think you are” he came closer as she moved back into the sofa. 

“ i think you are wrong on this one , i could of just stayed if i didn’t move they would of been here too” she looked down at the book . 

“ how do you know that?” .

“ because i would of been able to protect them , stopped the bastards getting near” . 

“ you tried to save them all , you risked your own life time and time again that is not action of a monster” he told her. 

“ and yet they are dead and i am not” 

“  four of them are here , thriving because of you” 

“ and the scream of five haunt my every waking moment “ she looked him in the eyes showing him what it was that haunted her , showing him it all .

“ this changes nothing it just shows you been through more than you should of ever been and that blame you hold on yourself is misplaced” he shook his head. 

“ i don’t think this is something that we will ever agree on” she laughed dryly . 

“ you poor thing” jean gasped as she looked up seeing them all standing there .

“ please spare me your pity all off you i am a monster” her voice raise as the lights flickered around her even taking her by surprise. “ great something new” she huffed. 

“ how many powers do you have” scott asked absent mindedly .

“ that is one question i do not know the answer to, i’ve been with them almost two decades and they pumped every concoction into my veins , the mind stuff and elemental was what the rest is them” she sighed. 

“ we can run some test and see , it wont be like the lab it will be pain free and you can stop anytime or even say no” jean said to her. 

“ anytime?” she asked considering it needing to know herself. 

“ anytime” the redhead confirmed. 

“ when?” she asked 

“ now or anytime you want you are in control with this here and it always your choice” . 

“ is this in his book” she finally asked a small smile on her face. 

“ is it working?” jean smirked as y/n nodded. “ well then no it not” . 

“ you should take notes gold retriever… lets do this i need to know” she stood wiping the tears from her face. 

“She really haunted by her past huh ?” scott asked as they walked into the kitchen. 

“ very much so it’s not pretty and she blames herself for it” professor solemnly spoke. 

“ what happened ?” piotr  spoke up yet he didn’t know if he was truly ready to hear the extent of the horror his little sister face. 

“ it’s not my story to tell , maybe when she is ready she might share it but now we just have to let her deal with her feelings let her know she is not a monster she believes herself to be” . 

“ i have a idea it not much and its not going to heal her but i can make something she love as a child , our grandmothers stew no matter what  we need to get new vegetables and other things though” piotr looked around the room . 

“ logan and scott could you get what he needs?” storm asked . 

“ of course he will .. and me too” scott smirked . 

“ whats that suppose to mean”. 

“ meaning you follow her around like  the loyal what she call you again doberman” he chuckled. 

“ oh fuck off” logan rolled his eyes as the other tried hiding their knowing smirks.  “ let just get this shit” he huffed walking out the door. 

“ i don’t know how i feel about this” Piotr brows furrowed. 

“ you’ll get used to it” storm patted his shoulder. 

She sat on the metal bed looking around the lab nervously it was nothing like the ones she used to be in but still it made nervous regardless . 

“ we don’t have to do this now we can wait til you're feeling better” jean told her softly feeling the girl nervous state radiate off of her.  

“ it just the first lab i’ve been in i’ll be ok” she shook her head. 

“ if you want to stop anytime let me know ok remember this is all your choice” the redhead reminded her. 

“ lets just get started” . 

“ ok i’m going to take a blood sample if that’s ok..  Hey let me get your brother or the professor maybe logan?” she didn't miss the smile on the redheads mouth at the last one. 

“ my brother will do” she blushed. 

“ what is going on with you and logan?” .

“ nothing really he’s there at night guess he has nightmares too” she shrugged as jean smile grew wider. 

“ i don’t think thats it , logan stopped having those a while ago  not completely gone but he rarely has them “ .

“ then why does he come to the kitchen?” her head tilted . 

“ that’s one you’ll have to figure out yourself “ jean winked. “ i’ll go get your brother” . 

“ no just do it , can i hold your hand on your coat” she asked nervously yet her mind was no working over time at the new information . 

 “ of course i’ll be quick and it will only be a little pinch and done ready” she asked as y/n nodded . she winced feeling the little sting as she grabbed the womans coat only to feel the hand replace the fabric . “ there we are done that part now i’m going to scan you and put these on you it won’t hurt one bit and but remember we can stop anytime” . 

“ i’m ok i’m not scared anymore” y/n smiled . 

“ scotts right your smile is pretty” jean winked as she went to put the vile of her blood in the analysis machine . 

“ your boyfriend is not as annoying but don’t tell him i said that” y/n huffed out with a laugh. 

“ my lips are sealed , you ready for next part” . 

“ born ready” she nodded. 

It was nearly dinner time when they emerge from the lab when the scent hit her nose . one that brought her back into the past this time it was a happier time . suddenly she was the little girl who spent her days on  the rural farm lands of russia  the smell of her grandmothers stew would signal the womans arrival making her run as fast as her little legs would take her into the small farm house.  She would almost knock her grandmother over as she jumped into her arms . when she was there it meant her parent weren’t cruel  , they wouldn’t be so hard and harsh on her and her big brother in the presence of the elderly woman .  she also would get spoiled rotten with treats and toys , pretty dresses . it was her most cherished times one she would use to keep her going when she felt like giving up . if it wasn’t for her brother and grandmother well she didn’t know how she would of been in the world, now she could smell that memory in real time one . 

“ он пахнет ее. ( it smells like hers) “ she walked in seeing her brother standing at the stove stirring the pot. 

“я пытался довести это до совершенства.

 ( i tried to make it to perfection) “he chuckled as he pulled  the big pot off bringing it into the dinning room . she couldn’t help but almost float following after and she couldn’t help the tears that fell down her cheeks she was surprise she still had some left. 

“ я сделал хуже?

 ( did i make it worse?)” piotr asked worriedly . 

“ нет, это прекрасно, это слезы счастья.

 ( no it’s perfect , these are happy tears)” she wiped her face. “ happy tears” she said in english as they all looked at her. 

“ smells good” scott stood as he handed her the ladle and piotr handed her a bowl. 

She got herself a generous helping sitting as they all filled their own. The moment it hit her taste buds she moaned happily .

“ taste  like hers” she smiled once more. 

“ what is this , so good “ rogue asked as others hummed their agreement . 

“ Solyanka but our grandmothers version” piotr explained as y/n was too busy wolfing it down . 

“ taste like home” she said grabbing more  as Piotr sat a little taller with pride . 

“ do you remember any of her other dishes” storm asked. 

“ i have her recipe book” piotr said softly . 

“ wait you have it” y/n almost dived over table excitedly. 

“ yes in my room she sent it too me so i wouldn’t forget the good food” he chuckled. 

“ that means we can make her Borodinsky” she gasped animatedly probably the first some of them seen her so excited, so happy . 

“ yeah i can give it to you later” piotr smiled happily .

part 4

taglist : @oscarissac2099 @ayamenimthiriel

[two-white-butterflies]

WAITING FOR A BUS

Pairings: Aemond Targaryen x Reader, Daemon Targaryen x Reader (MODERN)

Description: A new promotion at work prompts you to move into a small modest town with your boyfriend, Aemond Targaryen. There you meet a few friendly faces. It seems like life is going where it's supposed to. That is until you meet your new boss, Daemon Targaryen, who is your boyfriend's estranged uncle.

It doesn't help with the fact that you've been having dreams about him since birth.

It was a shit storm from the beginning. You told him that attempting to murder his nephew was a death-wish. That they would never make it out alive. "You're not going anywhere," you mumble while holding him in place. He camped outside of Harrenhall for thirteen-fortnights. He wanted to kill Aemond — you of all people should know that.

"We're not retreating," he asserts while moving past you. Caraxes was slumbering behind you, a thick fog of smoke reigned over Gods Eye. It was the largest lake in all of the seven-kingdoms, and gods be damned if it became your beloved's sarcophagus. "I would rather die, woman." he gritted his teeth, staring demandingly at the stone castle.

The castle could easily be burnt by his dragon, but he couldn't ruin the only castle that reminded his niece of Harwin Strong. "— and die you will, if Aemond ever has the mind to descend upon us." you feared the one-eyed prince and his large dragon.

Vhagar was said to be the largest living dragon. You didn't have any doubts about that. "I will not die today, but my nephew — he might." he said smugly seeing the familiar figure of his petulant nephew.

Aemond's back was slumped, a sign of bad posture. In his right hand was a metal sword — on his left side was Alys Rivers, his loyal paramour. Daemon's hands found the small of your waist — feeling possessive over your small figure. Aemond was staring at you up and down, almost undressing you with his mere eye.

"Your cowardice has reached an end, dear nephew. It's nice of you to make your presence known." Daemon smirked while playing with the dark sister on his right hand. Only one of them will survive tonight, and it's going to be him. "You are the only coward here, uncle." the boy replied smugly while petting his dragon.

There were goosebumps on your hand. Throat attempting to leak green bile — but showing weakness wasn't good, he taught you that. The sounds became too loud, and soon — both of them began to board their dragons and fight atop the lake.

"Daemon!" you scream, seeing his figure disappear above the clouds.

——— Beads of sweat formed atop your forehead, hands grasping upon the velvet blanket, and you began to sit upright. Another fucking nightmare, you cursed while staring at the digital clock beside you. 3:41, the clock read as it beeped neon green. It was too early. Too fucking early for bullshit.

These nightmares have been haunting you as far as you can remember. Those lavender eyes that have been staring at you since you were just a little girl. It was stupid to dream about dragons and fire, yet the theme always stayed the same after all these years.

Aemond stirs awake, his heavy arms wrapped around your thighs. "Aemond," you whisper in a hoarse voice. Your loving boyfriend of six-years, knew all about these nightmares. "Go back to sleep," he replied in an equally hoarse voice.

The light of the lamp illuminated his neat features, his slender nose and sharp jawline. "I can't sleep," you whisper feeling your eyelids flutter in tiredness. When these 'night terrors' begin, there was no hope for rest. "Just close your eyes." he mumbled while pulling you back into the bed.

It stayed like that for a while. His broad chiseled arms wrapped around your petite figure — his legs there were rested atop yours. He had a steady breathing, mouth slightly ajar from all the lack of sleep. You didn't want to bother him, but sleep wasn't exactly coming.

You slither away from his grasp, avoiding his second-attempt at hugging you. In your place, you add a soft pillow smothered in between his legs. It was enough to fool a sleeping Aemond. You began to sashay into the living room, which was adjacent to the kitchen. The apartment had an open-concept to it, and thus you were able to see everything all at once.

You reach for the pack of bread inside the fridge (something Aemond found weird as bread wasn't usually stored in fridges,) and you place them inside the toaster. You had a few minutes until Aemond woke up, as he couldn't sleep without you.

The fridge opens again and out comes a jar of butter that he made from scratch. The toaster beeps — and a pair of toasted bread came out. You groan, the beeping could wake him up. And that man deserved all the rest that he could get.

And just like you predicted, he was already up — scratching his eye lazily and walking in your direction. "Why are you up so early, babe?" he asks while pressing a soft kiss on your cheek. He took a bite of the toast you made, slathering a spoonful of nutella. "I couldn't sleep again," you replied while taking a bite of your own toast.

There were battalions of reasons as to why you couldn't sleep. It could be the fact that those 'nightmares' seem too realistic to become nightmares, or that the man named 'Daemon' with purple eyes couldn't be erased from your mind. You couldn't remember his face, but those purple eyes have engraved themselves into your soul.

It was fucking real. You could still feel the fog of Gods Eye, and the heat of that dragon, Caraxes. There was another man there too, he was a dragon-rider, but you couldn't remember his name. Only the fact that he was an enemy.

"I think you should go to therapy." he advised while playing with the strands of your hair. He found great comfort in your hair — according to him, he used to have much longer hair until his abusive father forced him to cut all of it off once he turned nine. "The nightmares have been gone for a while, babe. I think it just came back 'cuz we moved into a new city." you reason, trying to get away from therapy.

In all truths, you didn't have money for it. It was too expensive for a normal day citizen. You couldn't ask your boyfriend for any more money, he hated taking money out of his trust-fund. "If it continues even after we've settled, I think it's worth going to therapy for." he added while finishing his toast.

You chuckle softly, taking a sip of your hot water. "I won't have time once I've started teaching those high-school kids." you laugh, reminiscing the days of your childhood. They were all blurs to be honest. "I don't think you'll be able to do much teaching, they're all sycophants." he rolls his eye.

"Sycophant, that's a big word." you frown while wiping the counter clear of the crumbs from your toast. He's been acting weird for a while. Sometimes he doesn't even seem like the same person. "I learnt it from wikipedia," he pipes while pushing you away from the sink. "By the way, I'm washing the dishes." he dominates while taking up all the space.

It makes you smile, thinking about how lucky you are to have him.

"Get ready for school — look scary, and make sure that those kids hate to love you." he reminds, and you press a kiss to his temple. "You want me to become a terror teacher?" you giggle, pressing another kiss to his cheek. "A hot one," he chuckles closing his fist and opening it into your face — splashing you with water.

"Mkay," you mumble, taking a step away from him. You began to walk to your room, already having an outfit in mind for school. "But remember to pick me up. I'm not familiar with the streets yet." you remind and he nods his head.

"I won't forget it, love." he promised, seeing you retreat inside the room.

———

The school was a few minutes away from your apartment. Ten to twenty minutes, depending on whether or not you use the public transport. Aemond was driving you today, which meant that you were going to be a little early to class. Better early than late.

He stops in front of the junior high-school building. "I'll pick you up later, pumpkin." he lowers the window, you lean a little closer to peck his lips. "I'll be out at six," you remind and he nods his head. "I'll try to get out of work early, but if I can't then Aegon can pick you up." he briefed while slowly driving away.

You wave goodbye, seeing the red car disappear from view. You turn around to face the large building, feeling nervousness creep inside your soul. You open your small android phone, already feeling eyes stare at you. Highschool students were crazy, but not crazy enough to send you running.

You stare at the email. You are the advisor of St. Maria Goretti, the patron saint of purity, young women and assault (at least according to google.) You begin to walk in the large halls of the building, searching for the 10th grade, and finally finding your assigned classroom.

You lower a big box on your desk, it was filled with binders and free notebooks — you weren't sure if the students were going to use it. It was a catholic private school, all of them were loaded.

A woman clears her throat from the other side of the room. Your eyes trail down from the floor, to her shoes and finally to her face. Pale blonde hair, and a familiar pair of purple eyes. "Hey, you must be the new teacher. I'm uhh — Ma'am Rhae, I'm actually the coordinator for english — and this grade level." she walks towards you in a warm manner.

"I'm (Your Name), I teach science." you smiled offering your hand to shake, but to her surprise — she begins to welcome you into a deep hug. She smelled like peony and suede, a wonderful combination — but typical for an english teacher. "Really? What college did you go to?" she inquired with renewed interest.

"I'm sure that you haven't heard of it, I'm kind of a country bumpkin." you chuckled while giving her a modest smile. It's nice to have a friend around here.

———

Rhaenyra excuses herself, exiting your room and running towards the nearest lavatory. There she fiddles with her pockets to find her phone. She dials the familiar sequence of numbers. 'Uncle Daemon 👹' the nickname read out, and it took a few rings for him to answer.

"Uncle," she called out in a panicked tone, she turns the faucet on so that other people may not listen in to the call. "Hey, what's up?" her uncle responded in a casual tone, there was grogginess to his voice — which meant that he had just woken up. "(Your Name) is here, and she doesn't remember anything." she breathed out in panic.

She could hear him curse from the other side of the call. Then suddenly, the call is dropped.

chapter two>>

AN: Comment to get tagged.

[stannyramirez]

𝐚𝐬𝐬𝐨𝐫𝐭𝐞𝐝 𝐥𝐲𝐫𝐢𝐜𝐬 𝐦𝐞𝐦𝐞

 ❝Not a side or a main, I’m the only bitch he entertains. ❞

 ❝All my battles have been won but the war has just begun. ❞

 ❝The city looks so pretty, do you wanna burn it with me? ❞

 ❝As in heaven as on earth, we’ve been dead since our birth. ❞

 ❝Thank God I ain’t have to smack a bitch today. ❞

 ❝If I see you in the street, bitch, your ass is done. ❞

 ❝I don’t need your opinion, I do what I fuckin’ want. ❞

 ❝If he don’t eat it, he a d-bag. ❞

 ❝I’m killing myself when bitches would kill to be me. ❞

 ❝He keep calling, I ignore it. he says I’m crazy. Don’t I know it? ❞

 ❝I’d rather just do it then I’ll think about it later. ❞

 ❝I never learn my lesson, so I always do it twice. ❞

 ❝Say something once, why say it again? ❞

 ❝Cut deep and I’m still alive, I’ll talk my shit ‘til the day I die. ❞

 ❝They won’t fix it, they ain’t with ya. They won’t muzzle the mouth that just bit ya. ❞

 ❝Might show up to the party with a blunt — might get stoned, might get drunk. ❞

 ❝Walking passed the mirror like, ooh, damn, I’m fine. ❞

 ❝Haunted house, I make him scream. ❞

 ❝Bonafide hustler making my name. ❞

 ❝No one on the corner has swagger like us. ❞

 ❝We pack and deliver like UPS trucks. ❞

 ❝I got a basket full of lemons and they all taste the same. ❞

 ❝You can spend your whole life working for something just to have it taken away.❞

 ❝I don’t know why I say the things that I say, but I say them anyway. ❞

 ❝Keep on building prisons, gonna fill them all. Keep on building bombs, gonna drop them all. ❞

 ❝Chaos and commotion wherever I go. ❞

 ❝Tonight, I’m gonna let the Devil in. ❞

 ❝It’s my party, and I’ll fuck who I want. ❞

 ❝Who are you to change this world, silly boy? ❞

 ❝I’m a gangster, but I’m such a fuckin’ lady. ❞

 ❝First to watch my story but don’t like me? Weird. ❞

 ❝Never mind what I had to do to get these diamonds. ❞

 ❝These bitches wanna judge me but I don’t care. ❞

 ❝Only want a love where the card never declines. ❞

 ❝My baby is my employer. ❞

 ❝No, I don’t want your number. No, I don’t want to give you mine. ❞

 ❝Sun goes down, another dreamless night… you’re right by my side. ❞

 ❝You say go fast, I say hold on tight. ❞

 ❝Got you so obsessed, it’s sickening. ❞

 ❝You know I might break your heart, just let it slide. ❞

 ❝Could hurt you really bad, take everything. ❞

 ❝I let you try it, now you want to buy it, but you know my price is going up. ❞

 ❝So what if I’m toxic? ❞

 ❝Yes, sir, I’m’a do it again. I’m fucking him, her, probably they and them. ❞

 ❝I know you’re wondering what I’m gonna say, I do, too. ❞

 ❝My mind always wonders what will I say? I wish I knew… ❞

 ❝I love myself, I wanna see it. ❞

 ❝I’ma do just what I like on the regular. ❞

 ❝It’s really not my fault if you’re scared of a sweet little unforgettable thing. ❞

 ❝No, I’m not sorry. I’m just loving my body. ❞

 ❝You know I don’t give a motherfuck about your last name. ❞

 ❝Has someone like me ever existed? ❞

 ❝I can’t help it, I just woke up like this. ❞

 ❝Nightmare dream girl, I am what your type is. ❞

 ❝When I go into that ground, I won’t go quietly. ❞

 ❝I got troubles, they won’t let me be. ❞

 ❝I’ve been on the run since I was a boy. ❞

 ❝I’ve got troubles of more than one kind. ❞

 ❝If I had a dick, you’d probably lick it like a lollipop. ❞

 ❝Bitches say they fuckin’ with me, chances are they’re probably not. ❞

 ❝If he had a twin, I would let them run a train. ❞

 ❝I swear I feel like a toilet bowl shitting on everything I’ve said or I’ve done. ❞

 ❝Thanks for the talk, are we done? ❞

 ❝I’m over wasting time in life trying to be something I’m not. ❞

 ❝Do you ever feel like you’re underwater, drowning inside? ❞

 ❝I’m not gonna hang my head and be another accident. ❞

 ❝I’ve given up our romance. I have nothing left for love. ❞

 ❝I’m not sick, but I’m not well. ❞

 ❝Fingertips like memories, I can’t forget the curves of your body. ❞

 ❝Been around the world and found that only stupid people are breeding. ❞

 ❝I don’t even have a TV. ❞

 ❝Put me in the hospital for nerves and then they had to commit me. ❞

 ❝It’s a sin to live so well. ❞

 ❝I’d like to turn off time and kill my mind. ❞

 ❝Hear the voices in my head, I swear to god it sounds like they’re snoring. ❞

 ❝If you’re bored then you’re boring. ❞

 ❝The agony and irony, they’re killing me. ❞

 ❝She says she loves me at dusk, but at dawn I pack up my things and I’m gone. ❞

 ❝Never been a perfect soul but I will not apologize. ❞

 ❝I did a lot wrong that I can’t make right. ❞

 ❝That face, baby, it ain’t fair. ❞

 ❝I eat boys like you for breakfast. ❞

 ❝I never said it’s right, but I’m gonna keep doing it. ❞

 ❝I’m sick and, honestly? I’m getting high off it. ❞

 ❝We don’t deal with outsiders very well. ❞

 ❝They can smell the intention on you. ❞

 ❝They call me an American horror show. ❞

 ❝What I gotta do to find a sub or a dom to choke me? ❞

 ❝I could be your little monster. ❞

 ❝I like when you piss me off, it usually means the sex is rough. ❞

 ❝I am the big idea. ❞

 ❝If you got a problem, better speak up. ❞

 ❝My generation’s had enough, and you should be afraid. ❞

 ❝I like my coffee black just like my metal. ❞

 ❝I can’t wait for you to shut me up. ❞

 ❝I’m friends with all my demons. ❞

 ❝I’m the definition of the worst kind of mean. ❞

 ❝I will not die in the night but in the light of the sun with the ashes of this world in my lungs. ❞

[440gallery]

Synopsis:: Remus Lupins nights before the full are always filled with dreadful memories from the past. But luckily, Sirius Black is there to help him.

Word count:: 3251

There was a monster.

A monster under his bed.

And no one seemed to have noticed it, even though his mum had looked underneath several times and his father had conjured little lights underneath with his magic wand so that the darkness underneath disappeared.

But it was no use, no use, no use.

For there was another monster. A monster so big and scary that Remus preferred to hide under his bed with the smaller monsters.

The room was dark, the light breeze of the cool night flowing into the room through his window, but never in his life had Remus shivered so hard. Tears streamed down his face and he hoped, hoped so much, that his dad would come to him now, protect him and hold him in his arms, because where was he? Where, where, where?

"Remus."

The purr filled the night and crept through Remus’ every bone. He didn't know who this man was, didn't know why he was here, didn't want to know. The only thing he wanted was to curl up in his mum's arms and never have to escape from them again.

"My good little boy" A nauseating stench filled his nose, wet sweaty skin, the metallic smell of blood and so, so much fear.

"I'm here to give you a gift, little one." The voice was low, rumbling, and Remus clutched his teddy. Maybe if he didn't move, if he didn't make a sound, the man who had come sneaking through his room tonight would disappear again.

"Remus, Remus, Remus," a hoarse whisper, from deep in his throat, and he got goosebumps.

"You're going to be so good for me, so good." Remus didn't know what the man meant. Tears streamed down his face. "You're so perfect. Please-" the voice became guttural and groaning "show yourself to me."

And with a heave he was there and screams followed from his too small throat. So loud, so glaring, so painful that not a second later the door to his room flew open. And yet, it hurt, so much that his lungs barely made room for more breaths and his screams and sobs were so loud in the night that it would haunt him forever.

Wet lips on his hip, a tongue snaking along his bare skin and teeth digging into his flesh. So sharp, so deep, so unforgettable as the scar they left.

Hot breath on his ear, a loving, sickening moan, hands all over his body and where was his teddy?

Where was his ma, his pa?

"Such a good boy, oh I'll never forget you little Remus."

And then a flash that pulled the heavy, wet body from him and so much blood he didn't know where it came from. And then, his Ma: warm hands, hot tears and a loving smile that looked more like a grimace. And he cried and cried and cried, because there had been a monster, a monster under his bed and why hadn't they found it?

And the last, the last thing he heard was his voice.

"Oh, I'll never forget you."

And neither will he him.

-

With a jolt, Remus woke up, his face wet with tears, his heart racing from the memory that had been shot through his dream.

He hated it.

Hated that even after 13 years he still had nightmares of that night he was bitten by Greyback. Every time he thought of it, his heart constricted and his throat tightened, wondering why on earth after 13 long years he was still being tortured with the paintings of his past. He sighed, got out of bed, for there was no point in going to sleep now, not after that dream and not on the night before the full. Perhaps it had become a kind of habit that he experienced this dream every time, every month, on the very night before the full, but it never got any easier.

He grabbed the packet of cigarettes and opened the window to go out onto the small balcony. It was far too small to sit down comfortably, especially for him, but Remus pressed himself against the wall in spite of it and stretched his long, gangling legs through the railing so that they dangled in the air and the endless nothingness below. The cold night air was icy, but he was so sweaty and his body was still sending out adrenaline that he didn't mind. Not that he would get cold quickly, after all, he was a werewolf and had a better circulatory system than any other human.

With his long fingers he pulled a cigarette from the pack, lit it with a lighter.

Smoke filled his lungs and he kept it there for a few moments until the burning became too strong and he blew the smoke through his nostrils. At least it put out of his mind the smell of old, dirty skin and the hot, filthy breath that still haunted him.

God, sometimes he wished he was less sentimental about his childhood, but all he really remembered were the painful transformations, his cries for his mother, and his Father, who could no longer even look him in the eye.

Monsters were everywhere, and now he was one of them. He hadn't looked for shapes under his bed for a long time, because he knew that anything underneath was better than he was. He was the monster, that had become clear the moment he turned and began his thankless journey with lycanthropy. Smoke left his lips as he eagerly tried to forget all that lay dormant in his mind, but on a night like this before the full moon, when his limbs began to ache and he became restless, he usually had no choice.

He looked into the starry night at the moon, which had now become so much his hated enemy. It was round, almost full, and Remus dreaded the coming night, imagining all the things that might come, that would follow.

He lit another cigarette and breathed the smoke from his lungs. It didn't really calm him down, but at least he had something to keep his fingers busy. A distraction from all that he had been dreaming. The bitter taste of tobacco on his tongue rushed through his system and he licked his lips. His face was still hot, red marks decorating it after he had woken up crying, but he felt better. Not good, but better.

He leaned his head against the wall, felt the wind on his bare feet, which slid through the spaces between his toes, and allowed himself a moment to breathe.

"Moons?"

Sirius.

Always, always Sirius.

Gentle footsteps, soft shuffling, like Padfoot, just like Padfoot and a small thin smile formed on Remus' lips. How Sirius knew when exactly he was awake in the middle of the night was a mystery to him, but he was glad, so glad, not to be sitting here alone on the balcony of Hogwarts, hoping he wouldn't fall into the depths of darkness that had threatened to swallow him moments before.

Sirius. Sirius. Sirius.

Remus closed his eyes, resting his head against the wall, cigarette lightly caught between his lips, when he heard the window open and Sirius come out. Sat down next to him. More likely pressed against him. Not that there wasn't already little room for Remus alone on the balcony, but it was definitely too tight for two people. He felt Sirius' body heat, smelled his warm, rich scent mingled with earthy tones of life, so much life.

He wanted to dive into the angelic curve of his neck, suck and sniff and lick, he wanted-

His black, onyx hair whipped in the wind and Remus imagined Sirius pushing closer to him. His shoulder touched Sirius', long, elegant legs pressed against his. He felt warm, quite lightheaded.

"Moons." Sirius's voice was soft, low, as if the wind carried it to his ear and whispered against it, a gentle breeze on the wind, a tender touch. He took a drag on his cigarette before finding the courage to open his eyes. And then, the moment he did, they met his.

Stormy grey, some days almost a languid blue when the sun hit just the right angle and made them shimmer, hit golden brown. And Remus found it so, so hard to breathe, because how could you breathe when you had him in front of you?

Sirius with his high cheekbones, with his deep eyes that he lost himself in so easily, Sirius with his soft hair playing around his ears that Remus wanted to run his fingers through- He was so, so beautiful, so incredible, breath-taking, bloody beautiful and Remus couldn't breathe.

How could he when Sirius was giving him all his attention?

He wrestled a smile from himself, which probably looked more like a grimace, the way Sirius' face changed. His eyes were worried and Remus hated how much he could see through his façade, how easy it seemed for him to decipher and read Remus, as if he were an open book. He sighed, a sound that seemed too loud for the silent night.

He held his cigarette out to Sirius.

Long, slender fingers closed around his wrist and pulled it to soft, full lips that wrapped around the cigarette and Remus was mesmerised. The way they closed around it, the way they sucked on it, the way the smoke flowed through them, like water. How those lips, just for a tiny moment brushed his fingertips and it felt like fire.

Remus turned his gaze away from him, to the dark night and the sea of stars that twinkled above them. The moon caught his attention again and again, reminding him of what had happened that day, 13 years ago. And he wanted so badly to forget it.

So, so much.

And yet, Oh, I will never forget you little Remus.

He shuddered.

"Which one was it this time?" Not Greyback's voice, but Sirius's.

Soft and warm and all he would ever need to forget all his worries. Sirius and he had told each other enough about their nightmares over the years, had a schooled understanding of how they worked, what they needed, when it happened. And it happened often.

So often that the two of them found themselves together in their beds more often than not, secret stories, hushed voices, lingering gazes, the soft touching of hands, intertwined.

"Greyback." He said, and his voice was rough and heavy, as if he hadn't used it in a long time. And it was true. It had been years since he had spoken his name, years since he had sworn to find him and kill him, years since he had destroyed his life and taken from little Remus somewhat everything that stood for innocence. But Sirius understood. Sirius always understood, through soft smiles and heated gazes, small, comforting touches and hot hands and heavy breathing and silent tears, he always, always understood.

As he did now.

“Come inside Moons, it freezing.”

Cold, soft hands in his, intertwining, pulling him closer and closer inside, in the comfortable warmth of Sirius and his body and he was so grateful to have him, to be his friend, to love him in secret and wishing for more, but it would always be friends first.

Sirius tugged him on, hair a mess, eyes awake but still wrung with sleep, tiredness in everyone of his bones, but he was up, and he was up for Remus. The destination was Sirius’ bed- They would very often end up in each other’s beds.

Remus felt himself collide with the soft mattress, rumpled sheets around him and a smell so strongly of Sirius it burned away any other essence still lingering in his mind. He buried his face into the sheets, gathering all the headiness of the smell into his mind, memorising it there, willing it to sink into his heart and soul, to be one of his scents, too.

And then there was a warm body, cold feet against his shins and he hissed, as Sirius smiled as he placed himself beside him on the mattress, but otherwise he was warm and welcome and familiar and so not Greyback. Remus felt his arms stretch out around him, enclosing him in a soft but tight embrace because he wanted to feel safe and only Sirius could with his hugs and arms and half warm half cold sheets twirling around them like yarn, tying them together, forever. And then once comfortable silence fell over them, heated bodies against each other’s, he felt home. His heart pumped in his chest but he had never ever felt more alive than with Sirius in his arms, with his breathing soft and lulled, his hair everywhere, even, yes, even his cold feet against his shins. That might have been his fault anyway, by going out on the balcony at two in the morning.

“You wanna talk about it?”

Muffled responses into his shirt, hands travelling everywhere making him heady.

He sighed, pushed his nose into Sirius’ hair, inhaling. Please, please never let me go, he thought, tightening the embrace, which was way to intimate to be shared by just friends, but they were by far way over this already.

“Just about the night it happened.” He mumbled, fisting the shirt of Sirius on his back. They were so close, shared breaths until it was their air they were breathing, long gazes until it was their haze they’ve been creating. Always theirs, forever theirs.

“Greyback biting me. I just thought- “he broke off unsure what to say, how to describe the feeling in his chest, withering and tightening and pushing, always wanting to be hidden but acknowledged. Sirius nudged his nose along his jaw, making him fight his shivers. Nonetheless an encouragement to make him speak further if he wanted.

“I don’t know.” He finished. “I thought after 13 years it would get easier to, you know, get over it, but it still haunts me. Every time I wake up from this dream it leaves me helpless and I feel this panic all over my body, like when I was four and- “

“I don’t know- “he said again, not finding the words for feelings right now “I just thought it would get easier.”

“Moons.” Sirius shifted so that his eyes found honey brown again and he smiled softly. “It’s okay to feel like that. It’s something that changed your whole life, it changed so much for you, that it is okay if you would never get over it. You were four Re, you were a child and it still haunts you because this man caused so much pain and so much fear like never before. No one blames you for still waking up to nightmares from this man, and you shouldn’t blame yourself too. It’s your body trying to cope with everything you’ve been trough and it wasn’t easy. It was not then, and it is not now. Let yourself heal from it.”

“But I don’t know how Pads.” Remus whispered, his voice thick, because how, how, how was he supposed to get over something so drastic that it changed everything for him?

“Let yourself live trough it. Let the feelings come, acknowledge them, feel them, and let them go. Wash them out of your system.”

Long fingers along his jaw, turning and turning till his head was titled into a direction of grey eyes and soft features.

“Talking helped.” Sirius whispered, his voice low and breathy like always when he woke up from sleep late at night. “It helped me get over my family and the shit they did. You know.”

Yes, Remus knew. Knew sleepless nights, crying, sobbing, clutching and a body shaking in his arms, too small, to tired to deal with all this trauma from the past. Whispered silencing charms and long talks, shared cigarettes and comforting hugs under warm sheets.

Remus nodded, voice to tight to speak, unable to say anything meaningless in their bubble of warmth and ease.

And then Sirius.

“I’m always here, when you are ready.” he said smiling into the thin night air and letting himself fall back against Remus’ chest before running his fingers along his bare chest, drawing constellations of nothings into his skin, marking his scars, creating patterns of love and friendship. Remus breathed and halted, as Sirius kissed a rather brutal scar across his chest, which he inflicted on himself in their third year, when the transformations had gotten harder and harder to manage, before the marauders found a way to help him.

“Moons.”

“Pads.”

“You’re everything.”

Everything. Everything. Everything.

His heart races in his chest and he was sure Sirius was listening to it intentionally, his head pressing harder into his chest to hear, hear, hear how his words made Remus tumble and fall into hopeless crushes that turned to love at the end of fifth year, even with the prank separating them for good but bringing them back together even stronger than before. And he was so, so in love with Sirius Black he wanted to scream it into the world and announce it to the endless oceans and heartless skies that he was his.

“Sirius- “

“Moons, I- “

So much unspoken, so much fear of rejection even though they both knew they wanted it, needed it like breathing air, because Sirius became his air, he became his stone at the shore, the person keeping him from the thread, the one- and only-person Remus Lupin would ever love.

“I know, Sirius.” He whispered. “I know.”

And Sirius looked at him, so deeply, so full of emotions that Remus could do nothing other than let his own swim in his eyes. It made him heady to know, to cross this unspoken line, something that always held them back, but maybe, maybe not anymore.

Hesitant hands mingled into black, onyx hair, guiding him softly to Remus’ lips because he wanted, he needed, he longed after this.

Eyes flickering back and forth and finally, so close that you could feel the hot air of each other’s breaths and the last second before all went crashing and firing and exploded because lips met lips and Remus felt like worlds were changing and Sirius’ lips were so soft and warm, his breath smelled like tobacco from the cigarette but he was the most delicious thing Remus had ever tasted. His hand pulled him closer, more pressure on hot lips, open mouthed kisses till their lips were raw and red and breaths flowed out of their chests into the other and he never wanted this to end, never wanted his lips not attached to those from Sirius Black, because he felt seen, and at home, and so, so alive.

He wanted to burst with happiness.

“I love you.” Sirius kissed into his mouth and Remus said it back, all emotion and fears and vulnerability showing at the tip of his tongue but Sirius was right there, was holding him in his arms, and somehow, that made everything okay.

“I love you too. To the moon and back.” He whispered, as the sun set at the sky and Sirius lay tangled in sheets and Remus’ body, trapped in warm embraces that would never ever end.

Shared smiles and soft touches turned into heartful gazes and yielding kisses and full-blown love.

A love that would keep Remus Lupin alive forever, even when it didn’t hold his friends.

[tteokdoroki]

awake with you | s.todoroki

♡ pairing: shoto todoroki x fem!reader.

♡ word count: 1.7K

♡ rating: everyone.

♡ genre: ua student!au, angst, comfort, fluff.

♡ summary: during the night, bad things happen but your boyfriend is always there to keep them away. by your side always, shoto todorki makes it his mission to fight your demons and make sure you know that you’re loved.

♡ warning(s): please read ! character death, mentions of car accidents, nightmares, guilt, lack of sleep, but a lot of fluff and the best boyfriend in the whole world :(

♡ author’s note(s): guys! it’s shoto’s birthday, so here i am postiing this shoto request from anon a while back, i hope you all enoy and have celebrating the beautiful boy’s bday <3

♡ masterlist | requests

it was hard for you to sleep.

harder, when shoto wasn’t around.

sometimes it was your thoughts that kept you up; late at night— dark thoughts that swirled around in your head and slowly poisoned your brain with heavy black venom. it was hard to sleep when your mind was heavy with fear, but ever since dating shoto todoroki; those nights became easier and sleep wasn’t so hard to come by.

you weren’t so sure what it was about your boyfriend that made it easier for you to get some shut eye; it’s not like he really knew either. todoroki just didn’t like seeing you in pain, the way your face twisted with discomfort or the way sleepy tears would wet your cheeks under the moonlight— but you had somewhat of an idea, that his fresh peppermint smell and warm arms are what often helped you.

shoto would so lovingly sneak into your room, no matter the time, dusk or dawn— he would hold you tight under the sheets until you drifted off to dream land. even if it meant being teased by the others for stumbling out of your room in the morning, his pretty hair a wild mess creating the image that’d you’d both been up to no good, he’d face it all for you, over and over again.

but tonight, your loving, caring and doting boyfriend was nowhere to be seen— everyone’s second internships had begun and todoroki had chosen to work with his father along with izuku and katsuki, so it was no doubt that they wouldn’t be home until late. what with endeavour being the number one and all.

your friends knew about your struggles to sleep, of course, todoroki bluntly mentioning how you ‘like to sleep together’ to soothe your nightmares ( iida had lectured you about it after, saying it was inappropriate while deku and ochako turned as red as your boyfriend’s hair ) so offered to stay up with you— but you needed rest, today’s training sessions  having taken a toll on your body, and wave them off with a smile laced with tiredness.

you could call him, he wouldn’t mind and you know it— but he’s with his father and that takes enough out of him as it is.

you decide, instead, to trudge to the dual quirked boy’s bedroom, instantly calmed by his sweet peppermint scent embedded into every inch of his dorm. you swipe one of his clean sweaters straight from the closet before hitting the lights and snuggling into his bed.

tonight would be fine, todoroki would come home, wrap you in his arms and with the aid of his scent surrounding you— you would sleep safe and soundly.

is what you hoped as you drifted off to the land of dreams.

when you were younger, you watched your older brother, haru, get hit by a car.

the scene haunts you to this very day, crawling up on you while you rest at night— choking you out in your dreams. you see it now, feet glued to the ground as you’re forced to watch the younger version of you, mess with your older brother using your new found quirk. your parents had called it scenery, back then your powerful quirk had been their pride and joy, giving you the ability to create a mirage in a certain targets mind— make them see things that weren’t really there.

back then it was fun to play tricks on your sibling— you made haru see all of his worst nightmares, everything but the road.

everything but the oncoming car.

everything but his untimely death.

you want to scream at little you— tell her to stop and that it’s not funny anymore as she forces your brother back into the road— he’s giggling, he doesn’t know it yet and neither do you. but the words you want to say die down deep in your throat, suffocating you from the inside although they burn at your lungs to burst through.

why cant you speak? why cant you stop her?

adrenaline trickles into your blood stream as you will yourself to run out into the street and protect haru from the oncoming traffic just as he slips off of the sidewalk. your senses are blown out of the water, static noise filling your ears and intertwining with childish screams and the sound of a not so distant honking horn.

you claw harshly at your throat. speak. save him. for god’s sake; do something.

“you’ll kill him! stop! you’re going to kill him!”

the flickering of artificial, yellow light behind your closed eyes has you jolting awake, sweat forming at your brow and hands clenched tightly around your boyfriend’s plain bedsheets. your gaze darts across the room while your heart thumps loudly in your ribcage from the fear that struck you in your dream and finally, your stare settles on a shirtless, bewildered shoto todoroki. his face is a little scratched up no doubt from being on his father’s patrol and he looks exhausted but that doesn’t stop the concern he has for you taking over his expression. “yn—?”

“s-sho,” you hate how your voice caves so easily, the single syllable of your nickname for him falling wetly from chapped lips. todoroki is by your side in an instant, not caring that he’s only half dressed and half awake. he’ll deal with that later.

with tender hands shoto cups the back of your head, letting you sink into the warmth of his flesh. you reach out for your boyfriend and he’s there, taking your free hand in his and giving it a gentle squeeze to help ground you. “love, what happened? why didn’t you call? you know i don’t mind—” his timbre voice fills your ears like warm honey, calming your rapid breathing but all you can do is shake your head.

“nightmare ‘n you were working,” you pant, cutting him off while the death grip on your lover’s hand begins increasing. you feel so far from the ground, the scene of haru’s death dancing across your mind. “i killed him, again—“

shoto watches your body twitch with fear and your usually glimmering eyes gloss over in away that makes him feel sick. you’re not here with him yet, still tangled up in the black string of your bad dreams. the world around the dual eyed boy begins to change and it seems you’ve activated your quirk by accident— showing him scenes of the day your brother died.

you screw your eyes shut as flashes of his body tangle with reality to the point where you don’t know what’s real and what’s not. you’re losing control of yourself so easily, fresh sets of tears stinging their way down your streaked cheeks. trapped. you feel trapped like a bird in a cage even while you’re awake and the sounds of cars and screaming burn at your ears once more.

make it stop, please.

“yn... come back to me love, i’m right here,” todoroki’s calm voice cuts through the suffocating song of death, dragging you back to reality while the effects of your quirk drift away. his fingers, although contrasting temperatures, now cup your cheeks to tilt your face towards him so that your eyes lock with his under the crescent moon. “you didn’t kill him. that wasn’t you. it wasn’t your fault.”

you blink away more tears like a helpless child, chest heaving but todoroki doesn’t give up. “but—“

“no.” your boyfriend says softly, yet sternly, leaning down to place an eskimo kiss to your nose. your eyes flutter shut at his simple gesture, although it raises saftey and warmth across your body— black radiates behind your closed eyelids, no longer plagued broken bones and blood. it’s easy to keep breathing from there, focusing on that as todoroki pulls you into his lap and the sheets fall away from your body.

“no,” you repeat back to him while shoto’s arms settle on your waist and his familiar scent of fresh peppermint fills your senses. “not my fault.”

it wasn’t your fault, that day the car had come speeding down a usually safe road in a residential area. the accident was a hit and run, but being a child made you feel every ounce of the blame. shaking the thought away you curl into your lover’s chest, listening for sounds of his heartbeat while he toys with a lose string on his sweater— the one you wear.

“that’s right, good girl...not your fault, here with me yet, love?”

when you glance up, todoroki is looking right back down at you— brows creased with worry but there’s love in his stare, overwhelming amounts that make you hum into his bare chest, grounded by the feeling of his skin against yours. “present and accounted for,” his chest rumbles with relieved laughter, soothing you even more. “thank you, sho. i’m sorry for making you do this so late at night.”

this time, shoto shakes his head— sending locks of red and white flying. “don’t thank me and don’t apologise,” his words are feather light in the dark while he manoeuvres you both onto his back to settle into bed. you’re about to mention that he’s still half in his suit, but your boyfriend doesn’t seem to care, already closing his eyes. “i’m yours, your boyfriend and i’m going to support you no matter what. i’ve got you, okay? you’re always here for me so i’ll do my best to do the same for you. what kind of man would i be if i wasn’t?”

“a very unmanly man,” you tease with a kitten like yawn, already feeling the confines of a more comfortable sleep, taking over.

todoroki rolls his eyes but pulls you closer to him anyways. “you’ve been spending too much time with kirishima.”

“at least i don’t spend everyday working with bakugou, now that’s true nightmare.” you counter, narrowly missing a pinch to the side from your boyfriend.

the pair of you sleep soundly that night, wrapped in each other’s arms. you feel safe, knowing that nothing could ever harm you, as long as you were with him. shoto todoroki would give anything for to you to have a goodnight’s rest. no matter what. even if it meant staying awake with you and being late to patrol with endeavour the next day.

not like he cared, he hated his dad anyway.

[marauderundercover]

Taking Chances Ch. 11: Blast from the Past (Siblings)

AO3

Prev

Swinging side by side with her father was an amazing experience. Marinette tried hard to stifle her laughter, figuring Batman wouldn’t appreciate it if word got around that the newest vigilante was a giggler. He swings to the next roof and pauses, Marinette frowning as he listens to something on his comm.

“Alright. All hands on deck. Robin, you’ll stay on the roof with Ladybird.” He instructs, Marinette frowns. Was he really sticking her younger brother on babysitting duty? And why couldn’t she go wherever it is he’s going?

“What’s happening?” She asks, crossing her arms.

“There are several crates of weapons and a few dozen armed men in a warehouse a mile out from here. You and Robin are going to stay on the roof to make sure no one leaves before the police arrive.” He instructs before turning and grappling away. Marinette frowns, but follows behind him. Does he really not think that she can handle herself? And she knows this is going to cause problems with Damian. He already doesn’t like her and now he has to stay with her. She watches as he swoops down into the warehouse and she lands silently on the roof.

“I do not appreciate this.” Robin says, stepping out of the shadows with crossed arms. Although she can’t see his eyes behind his mask, Marinette knows he’s glaring at her. She just rolls her eyes.

“I don’t either. I don’t need someone watching me 24/7. I can take care of myself.” She says, and with a sudden jolt, she realizes this is the first time he’s willingly speaking to her. The first time they’re talking and it’s to argue. Lovely.

“If you had simply stayed away, then I would have been allowed to follow Father. Instead, I am being punished for your insolence.” He adds. Is he going to lecture her the entire time Batman and the others are fighting in the warehouse, she thinks, raising an eyebrow. She starts to snark back, but a shadow moving behind him pulls her attention instead. Narrowing her eyes, she watches as a figure steps out of the shadow, a gun raised at her.

“Well well well. What do we have here?” The man asks, a smirk on his face. Marinette glances at Robin, trying to see if he recognizes the voice. She doesn’t see any recognition, so she immediately catalogues the man as an unknown threat. Chances were that he was involved with the group currently fighting in the warehouse and not an actual Batman level villain. But he still had a gun, so she wouldn’t underestimate him. Robin turns to face the man and he immediately takes the gun off Marinette, pointing it instead at Robin’s head. Marinette narrows her eyes. She may not know him very well, but he was still her little brother. And she wasn’t about to let some stupid goon threaten him. Flicking her wrist, she aims her yoyo at the man’s gun, smirking as she manages to yank it from his grasp. She catches the gun as it flies back with her yoyo, holding it carefully and trying to ignore the internal panic. She’d never held a gun before, never wanted to or had a reason to. And she really didn’t want to hold it now, but she didn’t want the man to know that she was scared of the gun, because that would give him an advantage. She just grins at the dumbfounded look on the man’s face, his shock enough so that Robin was able to knock him down without a fight. He pulls a zip tie out of his utility belt and ties the man’s hands together.

“Well that was disappointing. I was hoping for more of a fight.” Marinette teases, hoping that the tension between her and Robin would break. She watches as his lips purse slightly, not sure what the expression meant.

“I hardly think one buffoon with a gun would be much of a fight for either of us.” He finally says, and her eyes light up. Success!

“But if it was the right foe, they could surely take you down.” A new voice says, and this time Marinette can practically feel the tension rolling off of Robin.

“Slade.” He says, obviously tensing for a fight.

“Damian. I wasn’t aware you were in possession of a Miraculous.” The man, Slade, says, turning towards her. Marinette stiffens, uncomfortable by both his words and the fact that she can’t see the man’s face because of his costume.

“I’m not in possession of anything.” He says, his jaw clenched. Marinette shifts into a defensive position, desperately wishing that she had a comm. Surely the rest of the family had heard this man’s intrusion through Robin. But she wished she could hear them. Whether it was giving information about the man or reassurance that the rest of them would be there soon, she wanted to hear them.

“Tell me, little girl, how did you stumble upon one of the most powerful pieces of magic in the universe? And why haven’t I met you before?” He asks, stepping towards them. Glaring at the man, Marinette steps forward so that she’s standing in line with Robin, unwilling to cower behind her brother.

“I don’t think we run in the same circles. And I assure you, I didn’t stumble across anything. I was chosen to wield this Miraculous.” She says, shoving false confidence in her tone when all she wanted was to grab Robin and run. Slade oozed a sense of wrongness and danger. Not a combination she wanted anywhere near her or her family.

“Mmm. Perhaps not. But we’ll never know, will we. I’m going to have to ask you for that Miraculous now, dear.” He says, her eyes narrow.

“I’m not sure if that’s worked for you in the past, but it’s not going to work today. You’re not the first creep in a mask asking for my Miraculous.” She snarks, hand twitching as she analyzes him and tries to come up with a plan. Without any warning, he lunges towards them, a sword suddenly in his grasp. Marinette jumps back, going on the defense as Robin lunges forward with his own katana. Marinette flits around both of them, throwing her yoyo at Slade every time he got too close to Robin. It was obvious the man was well trained, and it was also obvious that he had little patience for the two.

“You’ve improved, but you’re still not good enough.” He hisses, lunging towards Robin, his sword aimed at the boy’s chest. Marinette lunges towards them, shoving Robin out of the way. She shrieks in pain as Slade slides his sword into her shoulder. She can’t see the man’s face, but she can just imagine his smirk. He puts his other hand on his sword, and she just knows he’s going to twist. She can’t let that happen. So instead, she jerks back, screaming as she pulls herself off the sword. Robin launches himself at Slade once again, furiously slashing at the man. Slade lifts his sword up and Marinette flicks out her yoyo, grunting in pain as she irritates her shoulder. But she’s able to wrap her yoyo around the man’s wrist. Smirking, she tugs roughly, pulling the man off balance enough so that Robin can disarm him. Just as she lets her shoulders relax, Slade yanks his arm, tugging her to him. She yelps in pain as he wraps her into a chokehold. Staring at Robin, she tries not to panic. They’re gonna come for them, right? The rest of her family? Surely they’ve beaten those goons by now. They definitely heard the problem on the roof through Robin’s comm, right?

“Unhand her.” Robin says, shifting his position now that he has two swords.

“I don’t think I will. Not for free, anyway. You want her alive for some reason.” Slade says, tightening his hold. Marinette lets out a choked breath, desperately trying to pull in enough oxygen.

“What do you want?” Robin asks, Marinette tries to shake her head, already guessing what the man wants. She’d rather die than give some psycho the power of Tikki. Not only could he destroy the world, but Paris would also be lost without the Miraculous Cure.

“Her earrings. Let me take them, and I’ll let her live….this time.” He says.

“No….don’t...not..worth it.” Marinette manages to say, just barely able to shake her head. She gags as Slade tightens his grip again, black spots dotting her vision.

“Ladybird-” Robin says, and Marinette is certain she’s hallucinating now. Because he almost sounds pained.

“Don’t.” She begs, fighting to stay conscious. As she watches him, she sees a smirk make its way onto his face. That’s good. Good. Smirking brother means….what does it mean? She’s not sure. All she knows is that suddenly, the pressure on her neck is gone. She falls to her knees, gasping for breath and wincing at the burning in her shoulder. Too much. Too much all at once. A hand on her good shoulder shakes her from her thoughts and she weakly hits at it.

“Ladybird, it’s me.” A voice says. She blinks, opening her eyes, wincing at the pain enveloping her. Looking closer at the figure, she sighs in relief, letting herself slump down. She’s safe. Arms pick her up gently and she smiles softly, tiredness hitting her as the adrenaline finally fades. Curling in closer, she mumbles into Batman’s chest.

“Thanks dad.”

---

Bruce Wayne was pissed. And the only person who could piss him off so much was himself. He’d left Damian and Marinette on the roof alone because he thought they’d be safer. He didn’t think the two would be able to get into any trouble up there. Of course he would be wrong. Of course Slade Wilson would choose tonight to come after Damian. And of course the man just had to know about the Miraculous.

Hearing his daughter’s pained screams over his son’s comm would haunt his nightmares. It’d likely become the unholy symphony over the images of Jason’s broken body and Damian’s limp form. Images that’d haunted him for years and would continue to do so until he dies. When he was young, his nightmares were just of his parents. But he had seen things much worse since becoming a father. And now he’d heard much worse. Shaking his head, he tries hard to hold onto the one bright part of the evening.

Marinette had called him dad.

It was the first time she’d called him anything other than ‘Mr. Wayne’. His heart warmed at the thought, but everything came crashing down again when he remembered. Slade Wilson was gone. He’d managed to get away while his focus was on Marinette’s wellbeing. Which means his daughter was now in even more danger. Damian had informed him of the man’s obsession with the Miraculous. It was something they’d need to talk about, but not tonight. After she passed out in his arms, he brought her back to the manor. Alfred stitched her shoulder, and Bruce brought her to her room. It wasn’t decorated yet, but he’d made sure to pick out a room for her after finding out about her. Even if she didn’t want anything to do with them after this, she’d always have a room here.

Sighing, Bruce sticks his head into Marinette’s room, just to reassure himself that she was there. That she was safe. It was something he did with each of his kids, every time they were injured. Every time he was afraid that he would lose them. The sight in front of him makes him pause and pull out his phone to take a picture. They might be mad at him for it later, but he’d curse himself forever if he let this moment slip away. All of his children were piled in Marinette’s room. The girl herself was on the bed, curled into a ball despite her injured shoulder. At the foot of her bed was Damian, his face peaceful for once. Jason, Dick and Tim were all in a pile on the floor, pillows and blankets scattered both beneath them and on top of them. They were an impossibly tangled pile of limbs, guarding their youngest sister. He smiles softly, eyes finally falling on Cass curled up in an armchair that she must’ve pulled next to Marinette’s bed. Satisfied that all were well, Bruce shuts the door gently, not wanting to risk waking any of them.

His children were together, and safe. For now.

Next

Tag list: @maribat-bdbwm @vixen-uchiha @stainedglassm @liquid-luck-00 @jayjayspixiepop @jjmjjktth @mizzy-pop @trippingovermyfeet @queenz-z @thepaceperson @iloontjeboontje @waiting247 @laurcad123 @toodaloo-kangaroo @ritacrow-blog @deathssilentapproach-blog @kittenmywaythrulife @nerd-nowandforever @tazanna-blythe @when-no-wings-do-broomsticks @imarivers8

[zodiyack]

Who’s Watching

Requested by @cai-neki​: May i ask a request; Youngest Shelby!reader one an angsty again, where someone's haunting the reader (she couldn't grasp if it's a past memory or person) ending up into various looks from her brothers thinking she may have a trauma but it turns out there is really someone following her around. Kinda long and messsy but yeah.

Pairing: Shelby & Gray Family + Shelby!Female!Reader

Warnings: Stalkers, swearing, my horrible reference in the title, angst

Words: 1,642

Summary: (See Request)

Taglist: @matth1w​, @redspaceace-writes​, @peakysputain​, @fandom-puff​, @darling-i-read-it​, @cai-neki​, @simonsbluee​, @marquelapage​, @sebastianstanslefteyebrow​, @thewarriorprincessxo​

Masterlist | Peaky Blinders Masterlist

Her chest heaved with uneven breaths as she slammed the front door shut behind her, back pressed against it. Her brothers walked in to see what the noise was about, surprised to see their sister’s disheveled body blocking the door.

“What the fuck happened to you?” Arthur exclaimed first. He eyed her with wide curious eyes, not all that sure whether he should be mad at her or getting revenge for her.

“S- some- someone-” She couldn’t form a full word with how heavy she was breathing, gasping for air as she rested her hands on her knees.

“Someone what? Did they follow you?” Tommy moved to the windows, looking around before drawing the blinds. “Are you alright?”

“W-wat-wah-”

“Water. Get her some water, Finn!” Arthur yelled before turning back to his sister. “Nod or shake your head. Are you alright?”

She shrugged.

“Do you need help?”

Again, she shrugged.

“Did they want to kill you?”

She shrugged once again, this time taking the water as Finn passed the glass to her.

“Can you stop fucking shrugging?”

A few gulps of water later, the cold liquid soothing her dry throat, she spoke up. Her breathing was still off, but she was recovering. “Someone was following me. I don’t know if they’re trying to kill me or if they followed me home, I just know that I did the thing you taught me-”

“What thing?” Finn furrowed his brows in confusion.

“Tommy. He told me that if I got a bad feeling about someone walking in the same direction as me, to turn a couple times, walk in directions off-route. This person followed me even then. As soon as I realized that, I ran as fast as I could. I didn’t even take the time to look back.”

“Good girl.” Every head in the room turned to Pol, who leaned against the door-frame of the family room. She slowly walked forward, moving her niece aside to look around outside the door before shutting it and locking it. Tommy gave her a questioning glance, to which she replied, “all clear at the front door.”

“Alright. Finn, go check the back, Arthur, can you patrol the house? If one of the doors were unlocked, they could have gotten in while we were talking.”

“Yep.”

The three waited in the main room for over an hour. Tommy and Polly took turns comforting Y/n as they waited for the boys to return. When Finn and Arthur did indeed return, Tommy was suddenly more doubtful than Y/n expected. Finn confirmed that all the doors were locked, Arthur reporting no one but themselves in the home.

Thomas turned toward his sister. “Are you sure someone was following you? Did you forget a turn and assume they were?”

“What?” Y/n’s face morphed into an expression of disbelief, hurt that her brother would question her. She was horrified, looking as if she’d seen a ghost, when she ran inside. The entire time she was running, her body felt uneasy, like she would faint had she stopped for even a second. It felt like her stomach had dropped.

“Are you one-hundred percent serious?”

“Yes- well- I-” It was ironic. She’d looked like she’d seen a ghost and for a split second, she thought it was a ghost. Had she been hallucinating? No, the chase felt too real. Whether it be a person or something from long ago, she knew it was after her. “I don’t know if they were human but-”

“You don’t know if they were human?” Arthur cackled. “Tommy, she thinks a mummy ran after her!”

“I never said that!”

“Was it a werewolf? Was he going to eat you? Gobble you up?” Arthur continued to poke fun. Only Thomas, Polly, and Y/n remained straight-faced. Polly noticed Y/n tearing up, the genuine hurt in her eyes saying that whatever it was, she was still terrified for her life.

“Arthur. Stop.” Although he continued to chortle, Finn’s laughter faded as he made eye-contact with his aunt. “Arthur.”

Finn nudged Arthur harshly. He stopped laughing and turned to Pol. “Yeah?”

“Stop teasing your sister right this damn moment or I’ll find whatever was chasing her and let it have you instead. She was beyond terrified. Look at her!” Polly snapped. “Can’t you see she thought she was literally going to die?!”

As the arguing went on, Y/n sighed and headed to her room. Her aunt was a great save, but that didn’t mean she believed her either. Only defending her due to catching how mortified she was. The embarrassment gifted to herself by a simple overthinking thought. ‘What if I was only imagining things...’ her brothers made her second guess herself.

The night went on, lights turning off, Shelbys and Grays lying in their beds, until everyone in the home was fast asleep. The windows and doors were locked, blinds drawn, and home quiet. The creaking of the wood, however, was new. It sounded like someone was stirring, but no one was awake to hear it.

Screaming awoke the members of the Shelby home. John had just returned, Ada as well, and had a head start to their sister’s room. She had sat up so quick it felt like she should’ve gotten whiplash. When the other four got to Y/n’s room, Ada was sitting on the bed beside Y/n, holding her close to her, and John was sitting on the edge of the bed, shooting her a sympathetic look.

“Did you see them again?” Finn inquired. Arthur slapped him up the back of the head, earning a glare from his little brother. “I’m being serious!” He whisper yelled at Arthur, only to be ignored.

“See who?” Ada looked at her family with widened eyes of confusion. She turned to her sister then back to her brothers and aunt. “What happened?”

“Ada. I’ll um...tell you in the study, okay?” Polly mumbled softly. Ada nodded and rose from the bed, hugging Y/n reassuringly before walking to her aunt. Both women stopped in their tracks as Y/n’s voice sounded again.

“I had a nightmare. The same person. They were in...here. My room. They opened my door and began to walk over to my bed. I couldn’t move. I was terrified. I thought it was all over, but another door opened and the person ran away. I screamed when I could, but for some reason, it was delayed.” She didn’t even take a break to breath or rethink details. It was like she was reliving it even at that very moment.

Tommy looked concerned. He whispered something to Pol before gathering his brothers and the other two females. They left the room, Tommy closing the door behind him, and left Y/n by herself to meet in the study.

“She’s got some kinda flashbacks or something like that.” Finn commented.

“We went to war, she...well, whatever happened, it wasn’t as bad as war. I doubt it’s some kind of thing she’d seen. Perhaps it’s her imagination again.” Arthur grunted in response.

The three older brothers had dealt with PTSD before, the effects similar to Y/n’s awakening, but Arthur didn’t believe she was hurt. He couldn’t bring himself to believe it. The man wanted his little sister to be safe, and knowing he couldn’t keep her so would hurt him more than the war did.

“I say it’s a trauma.”

“What kind?” Ada was quick to question Thomas, as per usual. “Injury related or event caused?”

“Either. If she hit her head, perhaps walked into something on the way home, or if she saw something she didn’t want to see...”

Unbeknownst to the family in the study, Y/n was on the other side of the doors. She pushed them open with a furry. “I’m not traumatized. Nothing that happened is from my imagination or some injury! This person is real and no matter what you do or say, they won’t stop.” She stormed out just as quickly as she stormed in, leaving her family to dwell in her warning.

She hadn’t left the home all day. It concerned the family, but they understood. No one had spoken a word to her since she’d made her point. When it was time to sleep again, Ada and Pol were the only ones to bid her goodnight, the boys cowardly, even more so when it came to admitting it.

The creaking occurred again. Y/n was awake this time, wide awake. The dream felt just as real as her escape had. Last night, she’d fallen asleep, given the person an advantage. Not tonight, she swore, not tonight.

Footsteps grew louder as they neared her door, the small squeak of the door opening causing Y/n to clench her eyes shut. Cold air followed the stranger; Y/n thought to herself, the person must have opened a window...but they were all locked, were they not?

She couldn’t be certain.

They stood over her bed, hesitating for whatever reason. Y/n had her own advantage this time. She wasn’t in sleep paralysis, she wasn’t incapable of showing the stalker what Shelbys learn since birth. Right as they reached for her, the mirror next to the wall by her bed positioned so she could see them, she slid under their squatted legs and darted out her bedroom door.

Behind her was not her concern as she ran for a specific room. Their footsteps thundered loudly, yet not loud enough to wake the rest of the family. Hot on her trail, they aggressively swung for her, but her distance was just far enough that they couldn’t reach her fully.

Reaching the room, she grabbed the first gun in sight, turning and firing. A few seconds later, steps padded throughout the house and stopped at the door. There they saw their little sister with a gun, standing over the person who’d been stalking her, wounded but not dead.

“Told you.”

[skzfairies]

monsters under the bed

pairing: yuri + yunho

time: june 2021

summary: after watching “it” with members, yuri runs to yunho, asking him to check if there’s monsters under the bed after a nightmare.

warnings: it, clowns, monsters, nightmares

yuri and her members had just finished watching it, and she knew if she wasn’t as sleep deprived as she was now, she probably wouldn’t have found the movie as scary as she did now, but she was extremely tired. she tried shutting her eyes, but all she saw was flashes back to the movie, sights that made her tremble.

she normally wasn’t one to get scared of horror movies, but perhaps it was her lack of judgment of herself, or the movie was just scary. she refused to admit to herself that she was scared, no she wasn’t scared, just paranoid. there’s a difference....right?

yuri tried to focus her mind elsewhere, and began imainging she was singing to the first song that popped in her head, and imainged the dance moves that followed with it, and the screams of the crowd. suprisingly, it worked, because yuri felt herself sink deeper into her mattress, and felt herself doze off.

“hey yuri, i think you dropped something!” she heard a shrill voice speak. where was that noise coming from?

yuri tilted her head, and began walking towards the voice, she didn’t see anyone around, who could have said that?

“look down, sweet girl.” the voice spoke again, and yuri slowly looked down, she just saw her feet, her feet couldnt possibly be talking to her, could they?

she trailed her eyes upwards again, and that’s when she saw it, pennywise. she heard the shrill chuckle, and then red ballons started floating across the sky. she could hear children chanting “we float too”, and she could feel herself going up, up, up-

yuri quickly sat up, and breathed heavily, there was no way she was going back to bed after that.

she slowly climbed down the ladder, and looked down at hongjoong, who was sleeping peacefully. why couldn’t that be her? she just wanted sleep, not to be haunted. she didn’t think that was much to ask for... she should have never agreed to watching the stupid movie.

she was about to leave the room to go to the kitchen, when she saw something move, right under hongjoong’s bed. stop it, your just seeing things.

but as she was going to turn away, she swore she saw a white dry hand emerge from under the bed, and she quickly hopped away, before running out of the room.

what the hell was that? please say that wasnt penny wise, why why why.

yuri comtinued to run, before she reached the closest room, and quickly entered the room. she was not getting killed tonight, no way.

”what the- yuri? what...why-“ yunho mumbled, clearly just waking up from her running in. he was quickly cut off though, when yuri started pulling him out of his bed. he quickly stood up and looked at yuri confused, what was she doing?

”come on, i need you to check something.” yuri huffed, and continued to drag the sleepy boy out of his room, and back to hers. she could sacrific yunho, but she would be damned if she let that crusty hand come close to her.

she opened the door, and pulled him towards her bed, before pointing right where she saw the hand, under her bed.

”i need you to check for monsters under my bed.” yuri whispered, looking up at yunho, who had his mouth open in shock. did she just- yeah... she did.

”yuri, i know hongjoong hyung is scary but he isnt a monster.” yunho said, softly laughing. yuri just rolled her eyes and crossed her arms.

”i’m not taking about hongjoong, stupid i saw something move under his bed, and i need you to check to make sure the monster is gone.” yuri snapped, and yunho couldn’t believe his ears at the moment. was a grown ass women asking him to check under her bed for monsters, in the middle of the night? he began laughing at the situation, and yuri grew more frustrated. she began hitting yunho’s arm, and yunho’s laughter grew more.

“yuri, go to bed. you are loosing your mind, sleep.” yunho said, rolling his eyes and began to leave his room, stopping when he realized yuri did not move to go back into her bed, and turned around.

the girl in front of him looked scared out of her mind, her arms hugging her waist, and she was nervously looking under the bed while rocking back and forth on her feet. yunho sighed, and walked over to girl, pulling her into his arms and resting his head on her head.

he felt yuri wrap her arms around his waist, and he smiled softly. she really was a little kid, still.

“can...can i sleep in your room? please.” yuri whispered, her voice was so small and quiet, yunho instantly felt bad for making fun of her.

“of course yuri, i promise there isn’t monsters in my room.” yunho whispered back, letting go and grabbing onto the girls hand and leading her into his room. he could feel her hand shaking, and and rubbed his thumb across it, in hopes to comfort the girl.

“here, sleep with this.” yunho picked up a plushie off of the ground, and handed it to yuri, who grabbed it instantly. she looked at it for awhile, she quickly realized it was san’s, and looked back up at yunho.

“won’t san get mad if i take his plushie?” yuri asked, while she slid into yunho’s bed. yunho laughed and shook his head, slightly sighing in annoyance.

“yuri, i don’t think you realize how much we love you. san won’t get mad at you, if it was me, it would be a different story.” yunho huffed, laying down next to her, grabbing his lap top and started a show he knew yuri liked, wandavision.

“yunho, what do you mean?” yuri asked. yunho looked over at her, and widened his eyes, did she not know she was clearly the favorite?

“yuri, you are litteraly everyone’s favorite. seonghwa-hyung never lets people lay in his bed, and your in his bed more than you are in yours. your the only one hongjoong-hyung wear his clothes, the list could go on. if jongho asked me to check for monsters under his bed i would just walk away. its like a, super power you have yuri.” yunho said, brushing the hair out of his eyes, ignorant of the smirk growing onto yuri’s face.

”oh my god, you guys are so whipped for me.” yuri laughed, while yunho rolled his eyes. they were whipped for sure, but they would never admit it.

the rest of the night, yunho listened to the girl next to him qoute the show, shaking his head at the fact that she knew almost every line. they got through two episodes, when yunho no longer heard her voice, and looked next to him.

yuri was hugging onto the plushie he gave her earlier, and was curled slightly into a ball, her legs overlapping a bit into his own, and her mouth was smally parted. her hair was spread against the pillow and her face, and yunho brushed the hair off of her face softly, whispering a soft “good night”, into her ear, before falling asleep him self.

[peachbear88]

So This is Love (Pt 2)

You squint, the burning sunrise filtering through your eyelids as they fly open. You take out your earphone, your right ear burning from keeping it in all night. "Good god." You groan, stretching freely until your arm hits another body as you turn to find Wanda Maximoff asleep, wrapped in a fluffy plaid blanket. "Holy shi-" You exclaim, toppling off the chair and hitting the floor with a loud thump before cursing for being so loud and clumsy. She twitched, seemingly realising that there was more space on the couch and stretched out, filling the rest of the couch with her sleeping body. You slowly stood up, admiring her sleeping face. It was angelic, as opposed to her waking face, her eyes constantly haunted by the ghosts of her brother and parents. You reached out a hand to push away a stray lock of hair only for her eyes to snap open, grabbing your wrist and twisting it as you scream in agony. "Jesus Wanda! Ow! Same side! Same team! Yeah, guess who? Hi!" You ramble, attempting to pry her steely grip off your wrist. She lets go, taking in her surroundings. "What am I doing here?" She mumbled, rubbing her eyes. You slowly edge towards her, sitting on the edge of the couch. She rolls her eyes. "Oh come on, I'm not going to bite." She remarks. "Could've fooled me..." You mumble, rubbing your wrist wistfully. She giggles, and you feel your heart skip a beat before you mentally slap yourself. Come on Y/L/N, get a grip on yourself. She pulls the other earphone out of her ear, slapping it into your hand before leaving you alone, outside on the couch. You sit there for a few more minutes, contemplating the turn of events as well as Wanda's mood swings before Natasha pokes her head outside, interrupting your train of thought. "Hate to break up this little zen thing you've got going on but Tony's got some shitty movie afternoon planned and Spider Boy is choosing the movie." She rolls her eyes, indicating how little she thought of Peter's movie taste. You snort, following her into the living making a quick pit stop by the kitchen to grab a quick bite before hopping into your shower for a quick cleansing of the mind before you get dragged into watching some childish Disney movie.

4 HOURS LATER

"Tonight, we will be watching... HOW TO TRAIN YOUR DRAGON 3! Brought to you by myself." Peter screams, winking at the Avengers gathered around the large TV in the main room. You turn to hear a few groans from Bruce, Nat, Rhodey and Tony. Steve looks around, confused as to why no one is excited to watch this movie. You chuckle, knowing he'll realize exactly why as soon as the movie starts. Your eyes flick towards Wanda to see her reaction. Surprisingly, she seemed quite excited to watch the movie. As you settle into your seats, Tony hollers at you. "Oi, Maximoff and Y/L/N, care to grab some sodas for everyone?" You glare at him as you had just found a comfortable spot and honestly, seeing the shit eating grin on Tony's face, he was definitely going to steal your spot when you left. You feel a tug to see Wanda, towering over you, attempting to drag you to the kitchen to get the drinks. You throw one last glare at Tony before following her to the kitchen. She opens the fridge, pulling out some cans before passing them to you, your fingers brushing which sends a shiver up your spine. You take hold of at least 4 cans, struggling to balance them as they wobble back and forth. Wanda closes the fridge with an equal amount of cans and the two of you make your way back to the group with the two towers of precariously teetering soda cans.

You chuck a Coke at Tony's face, catching him off guard as it clubs him in the face. "Hey!" He exclaims in protest. "That's what you get for stealing my seat." Wanda chuckles, shaking her head as she plops down into the small couch. You're preparing your ass for the pain it'll be in from sitting on the floor but luckily, Wanda comes to the rescue, patting the space beside her. "There's enough space for both of us." She claims as you sit down, squishing against her warm body. She pulls her sweater closer to her as you look anywhere but at her. Your eyes lock onto Steves who's staring at you in complete shock, having witnessed her lashing out at you only 24 hours ago. You allowed yourself to relax a little, leaning into the back of the couch as you sipped your own Coke as Peter cheered at the sight of all the dragons. Not paying any attention to the movie at all, your gaze wandered over to Wanda who was watching the movie with wide eyes, her inner child bursting at the seams, unable to contain her excitement. You grinned, briefly forgetting yourself as you slung your arm around her shoulder, but that happy feeling was instantly replaced by fear as you felt her stiffen under your touch. Oh shit... Oh dear god this is going to be the end of me. Any moment know she's going to use her lil' fingers and throw me through 5 straight walls of concrete. You thought, silently praying to yourself but to your surprise, the bright red blast never came. Instead, Wanda slowly softened and wiggled closer to you. At this point, Steve wasn't even watching the movie. His eyes were as wide as saucers as he watched Wanda laugh at the movie, still snuggled into you while you were stiff as a board, staring into his soul, begging for help. You found yourself draining the soda can, your eyes locked on the TV screen, refusing to look anywhere else, more specifically Wanda. What you didn't notice was Wanda, glancing up at you every few minutes.

Eventually, the movie reached the end with Peter wiping away a few stray tears and Tony cheering with joy while everyone else trudged towards their rooms. You look down to see Wanda, still leaning against you, fast asleep. You take a moment to admire her the angelic look upon her face before gently sliding out from under her. You slide your arms under her body before gently lifting her up. "Wow, you're actually pretty light!" You stage-whisper, making sure not to wake her up as you make your way towards her room, nudging the door open with your foot. You take a sharp breath when she turns a bit, giving a contented sigh. Letting out the breath, you proceed to deposit her gently on the bed and cover her with a blanket. You take one last look at her and before you can decide otherwise, give her a light kiss on her forehead. "Good night." You whisper, turning off the lights and leaving her in what would be a fitful night of nightmares.

_____________________________________________________________

That's it for this part! Any advice would be greatly appreciated! Hope you all enjoyed!

[yaimlight]

First Time For Everything

Rating: 18+

Pairing: Todoroki Shoto x fem!reader

Summary: Shoto gets fucked and its exactly what he had hoped it would be. 

Tags: pegging, slight sub vibes for Shoto, explicit sex 

Shoto stood staring at the door in front of him, hand hovering ready to knock but he couldn’t get it to move any further. It had taken him longer to get here than it should have, his nerves finally getting the better of him and causing him to drag his feet. He had woken up this morning pulse thumping and covered in a cold sweat, the last foggy strands of his dream clinging to his sleep heavy mind. More like a nightmare actually, the faint images of everything that could go wrong tonight haunting him. He had come close to calling it off several times throughout the day but he had talked himself out of it every time he went to pick up the phone. His nerves had carried over into his dinner with Izuku and Uraraka. He hadn’t been that good of company tonight and his two friends had noticed but Shoto had played it off as work stress and lack of time for personal relationships. They had seemed to buy it, telling him he needed to take better care of himself and they would always be there for him if he needed something. It had hurt to lie to his friends but it was a necessity. He should probably be worried how easy lying was for him now but he supposed it would come in handy when trying to bluff a villain. Groaning Shoto took a deep breath, squaring his shoulders and holding his head high. He could do this. He had started down villain’s intent on killing him and put himself in life threatening situations on a daily basis, getting his girlfriend to fuck him was nowhere near as dangerous. With one last deep breath he knocked on the door, two quick and sure taps that seemed to echo around the hall.

The door of the next apartment along creaked open and Shoto turned with a frown, watching as a messy tuff of black hair poked out, brown eyes watching him intently. The door in front of him swung open and Shoto’s head shot back round to look at the women before him. She stood in the doorway, one hand holding the door and the other curled around the doorframe. She had on an oversized black T-shirt with a white skull print on and a pair of black shorts that just peaked out from under the hem of the top. She was smiling widely up at him eyes sparkling and Shoto wanted to drown in them. “Hey you” she said fondly and all he could do was mumble back a strained ‘hello’. Laughing gently she stepped to the side, motioning him to come in. He took a few tentative steps inside, hearing her close the door behind him. “Your creepy neighbor was watching me” he said in his usual monotone voice as he undid his jacket, pulling his hat off his head and tugging his scarf from around his neck. She stepped around him, taking his jacket from him as he shrugged it off, along with his other items before disappearing behind him again. “Probably because the last person who knocked on my door screamed so loud the police were almost called” she yelled, her voice slightly muffled and Shoto could only assume she was still in the closet, putting his things away. He hummed his understanding as he toed his sneakers off. He didn’t think that was it, not all of it any way. The guy was a creep and a bit of a stalker and Shoto knew he was probably just keeping track of who was coming and going. “Drink?” she asked as she appeared once more and Shoto nodded. He would probably need it if he was going to get through tonight without hyperventilating. She grabbed his hand, lacing their fingers together and tugged him through the apartment. He let his eyes dart around the space, taking in the open planned room. She had called it a studio apartment but Shoto didn’t really understand what the meant. It was one large room, the walls painted a bright white and the floors a dark hardwood. The bedroom area was on the right, her bed set in the middle and pushed against the wall. In the middle of the room was her living area with a two person sofa with a coffee table in front. There were two matching armchairs at either end of the table and a TV in the other side. On the left was a kitchen, the worktops in the same dark wood as the floor. The wall opposite was completely glass and looked out over the neon light city. There wasn’t much decoration in the space, just a few photos scattered around, some of him, some of the two of them together and a few of her with people Shoto had never meet. It was all very subtle and tasteful and surprisingly cozy.  Once in the kitchen she sat Shoto down on one of the high stalls. She grabbed two tumblers from the cupboard, placing the decorated glasses in front of him before spinning on her heals to dig through her freezer, pulling a chilled bottle of vodka from within. She brought two large chunks of ice with her, dropping one into each class before pouring the vodka in. Shoto took the glass she offered him wordlessly, staring at the clear liquid for a moment before bring the glass to his lips and knocking back its contents. He coughed and spluttered as the alcohol hit the back of this throat, slamming the glass back down on the counter and wincing at the taste. She was smirking at him as she sipped at her own drink, watching him out the corner of her eyes and clearly amused by his reaction.  Wordlessly she poured him another shot but this time he sipped at it carefully. He watched her as the silence stretched on between them, making him want to squirm as it amplified his nerves. He blurted out the first thing that came to mind, desperate to fill the silence but unknowing what to say.  Shoto sighed, shoving a hand through his hair and asked the one thing he had been worrying about. “Are you sure this is going to work?” his voice came out not much more than a whisper as he looked down at his drink. He wasn’t sure if he was asking about the act its self or if their relationship would be the same afterwards. he knew he was being paranoid but he was asking a lot of her and though she had seemed into it the niggling feeling that she was only doing it for him kept persisting. Delicate hands wrapped around his and Shoto looked up to find her smiling at him reassuringly. “It’s going to be fine. Trust me” she asked and Shoto nodded, offering her a small smile back. She gently tugging him from his seat, stepping round the counter to be closer to him. “Did you do everything I told you to?” Her voice was serious now as she spoke, her gaze fixed on him as she waited for his answer. Shoto blushed, remembering very clearly the short list she had sent him that morning. It had been a strange morning but he had done what she had asked of him. Not trusting his words Shoto nodded, his eyes darting away from hers to look at their joint hands instead. “Good boy” Shoto’s head jerked up at those words, a small thrum of pleasure shooting down his spine. He didn’t know if it was the words or just the praise in general but whatever it was Shoto had liked it. Her smile widened, eyes flashing in recognition and Shoto knew that this wouldn’t be the last time he would hear those words or some variation of them. “Why don’t you head back and get ready?” Shoto stiffened slightly at the words. He knew they would be coming, the two of them having discussed this but it made the situation that much more real to hear her say them. He swallowed before licking his dry lips, eyes nervously darting around before stopping on her. Pulling in a deep breath Shoto nodded, pulling his hands from hers and started to make his way towards the bathroom. He lent back against the door once it was closed, eyes closed and just breathing. He stayed there for a few moments, trying to steady his nerves and gain some composure. He was fine, there was nothing to be scared about. He knew that she would take care of him, that she wouldn’t do anything he didn’t like or ask for. He was safe with her. With a sigh he pushed away from the door and began to strip, folding his clothes neatly and placing them on top of the closed toilet. He turned the shower on, letting the water heat up before stepping under the spray. He let the warm water cascade down his shoulders and back, head hung forward in an attempt to keep his hair dry. His cock hung limply between his legs and Shoto wondered if he should try and get it up before going back out but in all honesty he didn’t know if he would be able to.  He was excited sure but he was also nervous and a little scared if he was being honest with himself and at the moment the negative outweighed the positive.

Groaning Shoto grabbed the soap and began to wash himself, his movements methodical and quick. He let out a small groan as he groped his own ass, cold fingers prodding at his entrance, his dick twitching in interest. Trying to ignore his growing arousal Shoto finished washing, turning the shower off and stumbling out to grab a towel. He rubbed over his body, rough and quick in his haste to get dry. He looked down at his clothes, wondering whether or not to put them back on. It seemed pointless, like an extra obstacle in getting what he wanted. Deciding not to bother he wrapped the large fluffy towel around his waist and headed back out into the main living space.

He found her sat on the edge of the bed, leaning back on her hands and head tipped back. She had turned all the lights off in the apartment apart from the one lamp on the bedside table, the warm yellow glow making everything seem softer. Slowly he walked over to her, coming to a stop in front of her. She looked at him from under hooded eyes, smiling gently. “Hey” she whispered, tipping her head forward and dragging her eyes across his exposed chest, eyes lingering on the obvious bulge between his legs. The smile slipped into a smirk, her pink tongue darting out to drag along her plum bottom lip.

Swallowing nervously Shoto adverted his gaze, eyes landing on the few things she had placed next to her. There were a couple of condoms and a bottle of lube but what caught his attention was the black silicone dildo that led on top. It looked bigger than he had expected, the veins more pronounced than he though they would be. 

“You can touch it if you want” she purred, fingers ghosting along his abs before gripping his waist tightly. With one last look he turned back to the women in front of him, shaking his head no. He was afraid that if he touched it he would manage to talk himself out of it.

With a soft smile she stood, wrapping one arm round his waist whist she griped gently at his chin with the other hand. She leant up at the same time she pulled him down, their lips brushing in a gentle kiss. Shoto sighed into it, his eyes closing as he gripped at her waist. It was over quickly, Y/N pulling away from him just enough that they could look at one another comfortably. “You ready?” she asked, her voice gently.

Shoto stilled, his eyes boring into hers. It was a simple question but it left him feeling anxious. Was he ready? He had had weeks to prepare for this, to psych himself up for what was to come and he had thought that he was ready for it but now faced with it he was unsure. He wanted it, wouldn’t have asked her for it if he didn’t but was he ready to have that experience now?

The hand that had been griping his chin slid up to cup his cheek, her thumb brushing against his cheek bone. “It’s okay. We don’t have to do anything you don’t want to”. She reassured him and Shoto felt all the tension leave him in a single rush. He trusted her with this, with him and he knew he wouldn’t come to regret this in the morning.

“I’m ready” he whispered, turning his head and placing a gentle kiss on her palm. She smiled at him, leaning up to place one last kiss on his lips before stepping back. She wasted no time tugging the towel free and threw it back towards the living room. Her eyes raked across his body, taking in everything and Shoto had to fight the urge to cover up, feeling exposed. “On the bed” she jerked her head behind her and Shoto moved without question.

She hadn’t said how she wanted him so he climbed into the middle, laying down on his back and head resting on the pillows. His head was elevated enough that he could watch as she climbed up from the end of the bed, crawling up him with an almost predatory grim on her face. She hovered over him, knees on either side of his hips and hands next to his head. “Do you trust me?” Shoto’s eyes widened slightly at her sudden whispered question. After all this time did she really think she had to ask that?

“Yes” he whispered back, his cold hand cupping her cheek once more. With a soft smile she leaned forward, his hand slipping from her cheek so he could drape the arm across her shoulder. She placed soft kisses along his jaw and Shoto turned offering her more space as she kissed and nipped her way up to his ear. He gasped as she sucked the lobe between her teeth, nipping gently at it. “I’m going to wreck you” Shoto stiffened at her words, her gentle laughter sending shivers down his spine. She took advantage of his stunned silence, kissing her way back down his neck. Her teeth scrapped across his skin before sinking into the soft flesh where neck met shoulders. He cried out at the sudden shock of pain, eyes screwed shut, his other hand coming up to tangle in her hair. He felt her smirk against the abused flesh, her cool tongue soothing the sting.

She continued to move down his body, kissing, sucking and licking at every bit of exposed skin. Her mouth and tongue alternated from the sting of ice to the prickle of fire against him, making him gasp, squirming beneath her. Her assault on him was constant, never stopping to let him breathe or regain his bearings. Her hot mouth sealed around one of his nipples, sucking and licking at it hungrily. The other didn’t go ignored for long, her ice covered fingers pinching and twisting until Shoto was gasping, arching his chest off the bed and offering more of himself to her.

The stark contrast in temperatures was jarring, his mind unable to really comprehend to two different sensations all at once. It was maddening but also not enough, all it was doing was stroking the fires of his arousal, making him crave more. Suddenly everything shifted, what had been hot was cold and what was cold now hot. Lips were exchanged for fingers and fingers gave way to sharp teeth. Shoto cried out at the sudden shift, the sensitive skin aching at the sudden and drastic shift in temperature.

Shoto hardly had time to process the change before she was moving on, fingers skimming down his side as her lips dragged down his abs, tongue licking at the groves and teeth nipping. She shifted, hands curling around the inside of his thighs and forcing his legs open. She settled between them, eyes find his and holding his gaze as she swirled her tongue around his belly button before placing gentle kisses down his stomach. Shoto held his breath as he watched her, anticipation thrumming through him the closer she got to his straining dick but she bypassed it, placing more kisses across his thighs. Shoto’s annoyed whine turned into a pained gasp as she bit down on his thigh, sucking the skin into her hungry mouth. She let the skin go with a wet pop, placing a soft kiss over the mark that was undoubtedly there. “Patience is a virtue” she whispered, smirking at him and Shoto groaned in annoyance, his head falling back to the pillow. His leg twitched as she kissed down it, all the way to his ankle than started on the other one, making her way back up. He expected her to skip right past his straining erection, continuing the slow build up so it came as a shock when she sucked him down in one go. Shoto cried out, hips jerking forward at the sudden attention. She hummed around him, hands grabbing at his hips and forcing him back down against the bed. Shoto curled a hand in her hair, not to control her movements but just for something to hold onto. She sucked and licked at him, her head moving up and down his length painfully slow and Shoto was lost. He tried to thrust up again, to get her to speed up her ministrations but she pushed him back again, her hands heating up to prickle uncomfortably at his skin. He hissed at the sudden sting, pulling away from her. She hummed around him, her hands cooling to sooth the pain and his hiss turned into a sigh. She sped up after that, her tongue swirling around his head before sucking him back down till he hit the back of her throat, the muscles constricting around him as she swallowed. She worked him perfectly, driving his desire higher only to bring him back down with a pained sob. He was begging, could hear the desperate please for more tumbling from his lips in between moans and cries of pleasure but she wouldn’t let him, keeping him on a knives edge. So far gone was he that he didn’t really register that her hands had left him, nor the sound of a bottle being opened. She shifted between his legs, the angle changing and he slid between her lips, her tongue dragging along the sensitive vein. He hit the back of her throat and she stopped. Panting Shoto lifted his head to look at her, his eyes struggling to focus on her. Finally his eyes locked onto hers and his breath caught. She was looking up at him, eyes hooded and stretched lips quirking into a smile around his dick. As soon as she realized she had all his attention she swallowed, a slick finger pushing at his entrance. Shoto’s head fell back, crying out at the sudden sensations. She slowly slid her slick finger in, pressing gently forward whilst still sucking at his cock. It stung, probably would have hurt more if he hadn’t been so blissed out already but he supposed that was the point. Distract him with pleasure so he didn’t notice the pain. She stopped once her finger was all the way in, her knuckles pressed against his ass. She pulled off his dick with a wet pop and a quick lick to the leaking slit before lifting herself up slightly to look at him. “You okay?” She asked, her voice rough yet still managing to sound concerned. Shoto was panting, his ass squeezing down on the intrusion. It felt odd, a little uncomfortable and he was fighting his body’s urge to force it out but it wasn’t bad. His erection had flagged a little but not completely, probably helped by the fact she had delicate fingers that were well lubed. Absentmindedly Shoto wondered how many he would have to take before she deemed him ready to take the abandoned toy. Shoto shifted his hips slightly, groaning as he felt her move inside of him. “Yeah” he managed to groan out. She smiled at him, blowing him a kiss before she ducked back down, taking him back into his mouth. She lapped and sucked at him leisurely as she slowly pulled her finger back before pushing it back in just as slowly. They continued like this till her finger was gliding into him effortlessly, his muscles relaxing and accepting the intrusion. The sting of pain had subsided, the hum of pleasure building again. “Another?” She numbed against his hip, teeth dragging across the bone. All Shoto could do was grunt, spreading his legs wider for her, planting his feet flat on the bed and raising his knees up. He felt exposed like this, wanton but he didn’t care, he just wanted more. She smiled against him, placing a gentle kiss before she pulled back. Shoto groaned as her finger slipped free, and odd sense of emptiness filling him. He rolled his hips trying to chase her retreating finger but the only answer he got was her teasing laughter, her warm breath fanning over his neglected dick and caused him to whine. “Shush love, you’ll get what you want soon enough” she soothed, mouthing up his dick and swallowing him back down. He let out a small moan, rolling his hips again to press deeper into her waiting mouth. He hissed as he pushed back, pressing his ass against her waiting fingers. Slowly she pushed forward, slick fingers stretch him one again. They went in slightly easier, his body more accepting this time but it still stung slightly.

She carried on as she had before, fingers working inside of him whilst she distracted him with gentle suction and hard licks except this time he felt fuller, the painful stretch not taking from his pleasure but adding to it. He was breathing heavily, hips rolling down onto her fingers before pushing back up into her waiting mouth. It was everything he wanted from her, better even and they weren’t even to the main event yet.

Her fingers shifted, pushing deeper and curling up wards and Shoto screamed, a bright shot of pleasure darting up his spine and setting his nerves alight. “There you are” she whispered, her lips curling into a smirk against his thigh as she pushed against the spot again causing him to gasp. “Wha…what…what’s” he managed to gasp out but the rest of his words stuck as she rubbed her fingers inside of him, pushing hard against his prostate. “Told you I would make you scream” she purred, her fingers pushing gently against the spot once more before pulling them out.

He whined at the loss, his dick twitching and leaking. “Come on” she commanded, hands grabbing at his hips as she began to turn him. He went with a groan, rolling onto his front and lifting himself up onto his hands and knees. They had spoken about this beforehand and Shoto knew this would be best for his first time but he couldn’t help but feel a little disappointed that he wouldn’t be able to watch her above him as she took him apart.

Cool hands ran up his side, quick fingers dancing across his ribs and tweaking at his still sensitive nipples. He let out a little gasp, head falling forward and his hair falling around him. The hands moved on quickly though, sliding down his back and messaging his ass. He moaned softly, rocking back and pushing his ass back into her hands. Her laughter ran out, loud and clear in the quiet room, nails digging into the muscle slightly as she squeezed.

“Look at you. Already so desperate for me” he groaned at her words, unable to deny her claim because it was true.  He wanted her to own him, to keep her promise and completely wreck him. “Please”. The word tumbled from his lips, begging her for more. He felt her move behind him, her hands gripping his cheeks and pulling them apart, exposing his clenching hole to her. He felt even more exposed than before, his greedy hole and dripping dick on display for her and he loved it. Loved that she was watching him fall apart for her so intently.  “Not yet love”.

Her warm breath against his twitching hole was the only warning he got before she dragged her tongue along his crack. Shoto cried out, hips jerking forward at the sudden sensation but her tight grip on his ass kept him place. Her tongue flicked at his rim, lapping at it and pushing down ever so gently before sucking hard. Beneath her Shoto squirmed, his arms giving out as he collapsed face first into the sheets, panting and moaning. He pushed back against her tongue, the tip slipping inside of him. His walls clenched around the intrusion but she pushes forward, tongue slipping in as far as it could go until her face was flush against his ass.

It felt so dirty, a filthy imitation of what she would be doing shortly as she fucked her tongue in and out of him and Shoto loved it. He rocked back against her, the lewd sucking and slurping noises driving him on. For a second he entertained the thought of reaching back and grabbing a fist full of her hair and using his grip to hold her still whilst he ground himself against her face. The thought had his dick twitching but he couldn’t bring himself to move, his hands tingling with pleasure.

With one last suck she pulled back and Shoto’s body relaxed, all the tension leaving him. “Such a filthy little pervert”. She nipped at his ass and Shoto yelped, hips jerking away from the sudden sting of pain. She laughed at him, one hand leaving his ass to stroke at his neglected cock. Her grip was nowhere near tight enough or fast enough but it had him moaning regardless. Her fingers were back at his entrance again, dripping with lube and rubbing gently against his hole. She dipped the tips of her fingers inside of his loosened hole before pulling them back out, teasing him with what he wanted until he couldn’t take it anymore. He rocked back on her fingers, forcing them deeper inside of him. They booth moaned, her head falling forward to rest against the small of his back. Encouraged by her reaction Shoto began to rock back and forth, pushing himself down onto her fingers and then forward into her waiting hand.  

“Look at you, fucking yourself back onto my fingers like the greedy little whore you are” Her filthy words had Shoto gasping, pushing back harder. “Please” he gasped, hoping she would grant him whatever it was he was begging for because he didn’t know. He wasn’t sure if he wanted her to continue with the filthy words, fingers moving inside of him or if he wanted her to finally give him what he had asked for all those weeks ago.

“Shush love” her voice was low and gentle as she soothed him, a delicate hand petting at his side. “Just a little more and then I’ll give you what you want”. As she spoke she pulled her fingers out of him causing him to let out a small sob at the emptiness. He didn’t have to wait long, her fingers returning but this time a third pushed in alongside the other two. Despite knowing better Shoto pushed back against them, wincing at the sudden shock of pain at being forced wider. “Gently” she chided him and Shoto stilled, allowing her to slowly work the three fingers into him, pushing a little bit deeper every time. He let out a shaky breath once her fingers stilled, finally all the way in.

She kept still as Shoto adjusted, stroking his sides and a pressing kisses against the small of his back in between soothing words. “You’re doing so well. Shush just breathe. Relax, that’s it. Doing so well love”.  He was breathing slow and shallow, trying not to move too much. He felt so full, his ass stretched wide around her fingers and it was a delicious kind of pain.

After a while he felt comfortable enough to rock his hips slight and that was the only permission she needed. Her fingers curled, brushing against his prostate and causing him to cry out once more. She worked methodically after that, her fingers moving in and out of him quickly and efficiently. Her fingers barley brushed against his prostate but every time she did it had him gasping and pushing back for more.

She shifted behind him, draping herself along his back and nipping at his ear. “You ready?” It was the second time she had asked him that tonight and unlike last time he was quick an answer, gasping out a desperate ‘yes’ as she brushed against his prostate one last time before gently slipping her fingers free. “Touch yourself” she demanded before placing a quick kiss on his cheek and moving back, the bed shifting as she got up. Groaning Shoto wrapped a shaky hand around his dick, lazily moving it up and down. He kept his grip lose, afraid that if he gave himself too much attention he would cum before she got to fuck him. Behind him he could hear fabric rustling as she finally undressed, catching a glimpse of black as she threw her top to the side. Then came the snap of elastic and metal snaps clicking into place, the crinkling sound of a condom wrapper being opened and then the sound of a bottle cap opening. Shoto wanted to look. He wanted to see what she looked like with it hanging between her legs. Wanted to watch her cover it in lube whilst she hovered over him. He was just about to turn when the bed dipped, her warm hands sliding up his thighs as she crawled up behind him. He pushed back against her hands, hopping to feel more of her pressed against him but she was too far back and he groaned in disappointment. Laughing gently she knocked his hand away from his aching dick and replacing it with her own, fingers wrapping tightly around him. He cried out at the sudden increase in pressure, her hand moving quickly for a few short strokes before her hand was gone. He didn’t have time to lament the loss as she curled one hand tightly around his hip and the tip of the dildo brushed against his waiting hole. He stiffened at the sudden pressure, body tensing at the prospect of having something bigger inside him. “Breath love. We’re going to take this nice and slow” she reassured him, booth hands rubbing soothing circles into his sides. With a deep breath Shoto shifted, getting both hands back underneath him and pushing his chest back up. He lifted his head, staring at her headboard as he tried to calm his racing heart. He was nervous again, worried about the pain that he was sure would come. She stayed still behind him, the tip just pressed against him as her hands ran over his back and sides, trying to ease his tension. He was grateful for her allowing him this moment, his breath finally evening out and he nodded his head and pushed back over so slightly. Her hands went back to his hips, holding him still as she began to push forward. Shoto gasped at the first real push, his hole stretching around the head of the toy. It didn’t hurt as much as he thought it would, the time she spent stretching him helping with that but it still stung slightly. She pressed forward slowly, rocking her hips gently and stopping every now and then to give him time to adjust. The whole time she whispered words of encouragement to him, her tone gentle as the words tumbled from her lips. “You’re doing so well love. Just relax. That’s it. Halfway now. So good for me. Just breathe. Look at you taking it so well. Almost there last push”. Her words helped, the whispered praise sending shivers down his spine. When she finally bottomed out she stilled, hips pressed tight against his ass. Shoto’s head had fallen forward, hanging between his trembling arms as he tried to calm himself down. He was so full and he could feel every inch of the thing inside of him, every raised vein pushing against his walls, the stretch just on the good side of painful. Experimentally he constricted his muscles, clenching down on the toy and letting out a soft moan. Chuckling gently she leaned forward to rest her head on his shoulders, the toy shifting inside of him and causing him to suck in a breath. He could feel her smiling as she mouthed at his warm skin, teeth nipping at his shoulder blades. “Feels good doesn’t it” it wasn’t a question and Shoto frowned turning his head slightly to try and look at her. “Did you really think I was going to put something inside you that I didn’t know would feel good?” She mumbled against his back, teeth scrapping gently across the abused skin. Shoto’s eyes widened as he fully registered her words, his mind filling with images of her in a similar position as he was now expect she was alone, working her own fingers into her before plunging the toy into her stretched hole, twisting and turning it to get the best angle as she fucked herself. He groaned, head falling forward once again and pre-cum dripping from his neglected cock. At some point he wanted to see that, to watch her take herself apart on the same thing she was using to wreck him but that would have to wait, his own need pressing down on his mind and demanding release. He must have spoken without realizing it because she was laughing again, leaning back and gripping his hips once more. “Next time love”. With that she slowly began to pull back until only the head of the toy was left inside him. “Sing for me” she demanded then snapped her hips forward, pushing back inside and Shoto did, head flying back as he cried out towards the ceiling. She quickly found a rhythm somewhere between fast and slow, grinding against his ass every time she pushed into him. Every couple of thrusts she would brush over that sensitive spot inside and he would cry out, hands clawing at her sheets as he pushed back looking for more of that sharp burst of pleasure. It didn’t take long for him to start pushing back against her, fucking himself back on the dick that was now gliding easily into him. He was a babbling, incoherent mess, begging her for more but she wouldn’t cave, instead keeping to her maddening pace that wasn’t enough to push him over the edge. One of her hands left his hip and Shoto keened, anticipating the feel of her hand wrapping around his aching dick but it never came. There was a soft click, barely audible over his heavy breathing, followed by a gentle hum. Her fingers clenched on his hip, blunt nails digging in as she let out a low groan. She collapsed against him, her breasts pressing against his back as she ground her hips forward. The hand not in his hips slipped into his hair, grabbing tightly at the slightly damp strands and tugged his head back. He gasped at the sudden pain but the sound was swallowed as she sealed her lips over his in a sloppy kiss. He kissed back as best as he could, his tongue lapping at her mouth and muffling her moan. Pulling back he made a confused noise but she was already gone, letting go of his hair to grip at his hips and jerk him back onto the toy. He gasped as she hit his prostate straight on, hitting it again and again as she spoke, her voice low and breathless. “I said you couldn’t have a vibrator, I didn’t say anything about me not having one” he could hear the amusement in her voice as she thrust forward again groaning loudly and all Shoto could do was let out his own cry. “Please. I, I want” he couldn’t get the words out, every one falling into a moan. She slowed down, closer to grinding against him than actually fucking him and Shoto whined at the lack of friction, trying to pull forward so he could fuck himself against her. Her hands tightened on his hips, her bruising grip stilling him and holding him tight against her. “What do you want?” She asked, tone gentle as she came to a complete stop. Shoto sobbed, his arms finally giving out and he collapsed onto his elbows. “Shoto. What do you want?” She asked again but this time her voice was hard, an edge to it that left him no room to deny her. “Wonna see you” he managed to mumble out against the sheets, head turned to the side and tear filled eyes straining to make out the room beyond. Silence greeted him and Shoto began to feel panic creeping up along the edges of his mind, slowly eating away at his pleasure. Had he said something wrong? Maybe she didn’t want to see him, see the blissed out look on his face as she fucked him. Maybe she truly was disgusted with him and this was the only way she could make it through this. She slowly pulled out of him and Shoto let out a chocked off sob, shoving his face into the pillow. He felt the bed dip as she got off and he had to fight back tears. This was the point she left him. He jerked as gentle fingers slid round to curl under his chin, gently turning his head to look back out over the room. He expected anger and disgust but instead he found her smiling gently down at him, eyes filled with love. Her cheeks were flushed a deep red and he could see where she had been biting at her lip. “Whatever you want my love'” her voice was gentle, loving and Shoto felt a rush of relief flood over him, mixed with the overwhelming love he felt for the women before him. He smiled gently back at her and began to turn onto his back, wincing slightly at the dull throb of pain. She stayed next to the bed until he had made himself comfortable, checking that he was okay before climbing on top of him and settling between his spread legs. His eyes instantly went down to thing between her legs, the black dildo looking incredibly large and he couldn’t help but marvel that it had been inside of him. His erection had softened slightly in his moment of panic but watching her line herself back up to his entrance, getting ready to take him again had him hardening once more. Slowly she slid back inside and Shoto gasped, the angle different like this and causing the toy to push against his prostate. She watched him intently, looking for any sign of discomfort but when she didn’t find any she smiled down at him. He watched as she fiddled with a small control she had tucked into the side of the harness, pushing buttons until she let out a small gasp, hips jerking forward and pressing the toy deeper inside of him.

She leant forward, resting her weight on one arm braced against the bed next to his head and the other slid down his thigh, curling around the muscle and yanking his leg up to her hip. Like this they were closer, her breasts pushed against his chest and mouth close enough to his that he had no problem reaching up, curling his arms around her neck and pulling her down for a kiss. It wasn’t lost on him that this was often how they ended up when he fucked her, pressed close together and sharing breath as they both moaned and panted for more. She couldn’t get the same kind of movement like this as she had before but like this she pushed against his prostate with every thrust, the toy dragging against it and pulling almost a constant stream of cries from him. Breaking free of his lips, she hung her head down next to his ear, every moaned word that came next sending shivers down his spine. “Look at you. Taking me so perfectly. Singing so sweetly for me it’s almost enough to make me cum from that alone”. Shoto arched up into her, nails digging into her back hard as her words washed over him. He wanted to be perfect for her, wanted her to enjoy breaking him as much as he was enjoying being broken. “Please” he gasped, nails scratching along her back as she lifted herself up enough to look him in the eyes. He could only imagine how he looked to her. Skin flushed red and tears falling from his eyes, mouth hanging open as he gasped for air and moaned for more. “Please” he cried again, rolling his hips down as best as he could. “Okay” she whispered, pulling back even more so she could fuck into him faster and harder, hitting that spot dead on every time. Shoto cried, his muscles clenching down on the toy as his climax rushed forward. He felt on edge, like glass about to shatter but it wasn’t enough, he needed more. Whining he grabbed at her hips, fingers scrabbling at sweat slicked skin as he tried to pull her closer. She snatched up one of his hands, curling it around his own dick before going back to gripping his leg, holding him open for her as she drove him closer to the edge. Franticly he jerked at his straining prick, his hands gliding as he rubbed his pre-cum over himself. He was babbling nonsense, chasing his release and not really paying attention to what was coming out of his mouth, only catching the odd word. He was sure he called her name, singing her praise as he begged for more and in between he gasped and moaned, sure he sounded like one of the pornos he had gotten the idea of this from. Above him she moaned, her hand disappearing for a second before returning to his thigh. The vibrating sounds had gotten louder and somehow she was slamming into him harder and faster, moaning just as loud as him. “Close, I’m close” he called out as the coil tightened in his stomach, his hand squeezing tightly at his swollen and dripping head. “Then come for me” she demand before falling forward, lips crashing against his and forcing her tongue into his waiting mouth. Shoto cried, body tensing as she pushed hard against his prostate, his hand moving quickly over his pulsing member. He came harder than he could ever remember, ass clenching down on the toy inside as hot spurts of cum shot out of him, splattering against their stomachs and dripping over his hand, his vision blurring as it burst with bright white. Above him she stilled, groaning into his mouth as her body shock and then everything seemed to fade to black. When he finally came to Shoto groaned, unsure how long he had been out. She was no longer with him, the room eerily empty. Frowning he went to sit up but a sharp pain shot up his back and he collapsed back onto the bed with a gasp. “I highly recommend against moving” her voice floated across the room and Shoto turned to see her coming out of the bathroom, washcloth in hard. She had gotten rid of the toy and harness and was now gloriously naked with faint red lines loping around her waist and thighs but they were already fading, probably along with whatever ones he had left on her back. Slowly she sank onto the bed next to him, dragging the warm cloth over him and cleaning him off. Shoto hummed at the gentle treatment, eyes slipping closed once more and enjoying her caring touch. “How you feeling?” She asked tentatively. Shoto cracked his eyes open looking at her and surprised to see her frowning down at the towel in her hands. “Sore” he said truthfully, not missing the way she tensed slightly. “But good”. She turned to him, eyebrow raised in question but her lips were quirking you in a small smile, matching his. She threw the towel toward the corner of the room before crawling into the bed and curling into his side. He draped an arm over her shoulder and buried his face into her hair. “Thank you” he mumbled, his arm tightening around her. “Glad I could give you something you wanted” the silence stretched in between them and Shoto felt his eyes starting to droop, exhaustion finally finding him. “Was it, what you wanted?” Her voice was quiet and if he had been just that little bit closer to sleep he probably would have missed the whispered question, uncertainty lacing every word. He kissed her head before using his head to get her to tip hers back so he could look into her eyes. “Better than I imagined”. She blushed at his words, any trace of doubt being chased away. He lent down placing a gentle kiss against her bitten red lips. It was soft, nothing more than a gentle brush of lips but it was perfect. The sound of her phone dinging had her pulling away with a groan. Reluctantly she pulled away, stumbling from the bed and disappearing into the half-darkness of the living room. When she came back she had a large fluffy looking grey throw with her, throwing it across him before turning the lamp off and crawling back into the bed, snuggling up to his side once more. The light of her phone was harsh in the darkness and Shoto turned his head away, eyes closing as he let out an annoyed huff. “Who is it” he grumbled, annoyed that his moment had been disturbed. “Work” she sighed, slinging an arm over his stomach so her hand could curl around his side and turned to press her front flush against his side. “Nothing important” she mumbled and Shoto grunted, eyes closing and resting his head against hers. Her breathing evened out quickly, little puffs of warm air tickling his skin. With a sight Shoto sunk back into the bed, closing his eyes and willing sleep to take him. Tonight had been good, better than he had ever dared to hope for and all he wanted to do tonight was bask in his pain fuzzy afterglow and enjoy having the women he loved in his arms.

[pockcock]

nightmare (levi x f!reader)

MINORS DNI summary: levi is haunted by his nightmares. warnings: MANGA SPOILERS. canonverse. smut. angst. mentions of drinking. choking. semi-public sex. raw sex (wrap it before you tap it PLEASE NOT EVERYONE IS LEVI). bilingual writer (please comment my mistakes down below, that'll help a lot). word count: 0.8k a/n: HELLO!!!! I'm back after a long fight with writer's block (I won ehehehhe). Also huge AND HUGEEE thanks to @leviverse for letting me use one of her asks, you can find it here! Please feel free to comment down my mistakes because I’m still learning <3 THANK YOU AND SEE YOU SOON <3

A gasp leaves your lips as he hits your cervix for the nth time. “L-Levi!”

He puts his hand on your mouth, trying to muffle those sounds you make for which he would die. “Shut it. They’ll hear,” he whispers into your nape. “He will hear.” His left arm is holding your leg up, his oh-so-pretty cock hitting every right corner in your cunt.

“Let them…” You say lewdly as you push his hand lower, guiding it to your throat, wanting him to squeeze. “Let him hear me. Let him know that you’re the one who can make me feel good. You’re the only one...”

A smirk passes his lips. Levi wraps his hand around your throat as you wish. “Brat...” He pounds harder, aiming to steal every single cute noise you make. Wanting to get another scream of his name from you. His pounds grow sloppier but his fingers on your throbbing clit make everything much easier for him.

“I’m— LEVI!” You can’t even manage to say ‘close’ before gushing all over him with an agonizing scream. You are sure everyone outside of his tent is hearing your moans or screams. Pleasure hits you so well, so good. You see colors of love in front of your eyes. You see colors of him.

He joins you after he makes sure you ride your high. “Pretty little brat…” His cum paints your walls. He rests his head on your nape, inhaling the heavenly scent that calms him down whenever he feels lost or needy. “Don’t let it drip out, you’ll ruin your pants.”

“I’m guarding him until sunrise,” You say after pulling your pants up. He is sitting on one of the wine boxes that are sent from Marley. “Try to sleep, I’ll join you once I’m done.”

His smile is bitter. “You know that I don’t sleep.”

“You do when you’re with me.”

(...)

“Read your book, beardy.” You kick Zeke’s leg when you see him eyeing Levi who (what a surprise) isn’t sleeping, instead, talking to his teammates. You know Zeke is trying to hear what he has been talking about. “Eavesdropping is not a nice thing to do.”

Zeke scoffs. “I’m just thinking about how a man his size can satisfy you.” He locks his disgusting grey eyes on you. They are shining in waggery. “It’s..” He is trying to find the right word. “Interesting?”

“You’d be surprised.”

Trembling body, ragged breaths and painful groans. Levi was having a nightmare.

Erwin, I’ll finally be able to keep the promise I made back then. He is going to kill him, finally, tonight. Levi is looking for you. He wants to keep you near him, safe. Only he can protect you.

That’s when he hears the hellish scream.

His vision goes blurry, his mind foggy and his thoughts muddy. “y/n…” is the only thing he can say after seeing his soldiers turning into his enemy with a flash of light.

He sees you, in front of him. You smile as if you’re trying to say ‘Take care’. Then he sees a flash of light. A tear drips down from your eye as you transform. His heart crumbles up, hurting more than ever. He loses you. He loses his life.

He lose-

“LEVI!”

Your scream made him open his eyes with a flash. Sweat was forming on his smooth forehead, now decorated with some scars that only enhanced his beauty in a different way. His breathing was heavy.

He blinked a few times adjusting his eyes to your sight towering above him, anxious and scared. His dry throat tried to form some words. “y/n…”

You took his face in your hand. “I’m here. Breathe, Levi, please.” Your pleas were accentuating your tears forming in your eyes. He hated this view.

He flipped you over with a swift motion, wrapping his hand around your throat. He squeezed hard. “Don’t breathe.” His thumb was right on your artery.

“Lev-”

“Shut the fuck up.” A tear fell on your cheek as he spoke harsh words which were in fact words from a scared boy. “Please, shut up.”

You did as he said, letting him feel your pulse, you knew him. His routine after a nightmare. He never told you about his nightmares but you knew what he was thinking about. He just wanted to feel you, feel that you were still alive and still were with him. He didn’t kill you that day. He didn’t slash your nape, he didn’t watch you evaporate.

“L-Levi…” You said as his grip loosened. “I’m here.” You held his wrist, guided his hand towards your cheek, placing a small kiss onto his palm.

A hiccup left his chest. He slowly fell on you. “Why?”

“What?” You said pulling him to a tighter embrace, caressing his undercut. He loved feeling your nails softly scraping his nape.

He exhaled. “Why didn’t you drink that wine?” His hand was still on your cheek, feeling the warmth and the smoothness of your skin.

You played with his split ends. “You would make me tea,” You kissed his hair. “I thought they were much more precious than some special grade wine.”

He snuggled into your neck, he found peace in your scent. “Thank you.”

I love you.

© 2021 sunshinedragonofthewest. All rights reserved. Do not modify, copy, repost my work.

[inkdemonapologist]

SESSION TWELVE of the BatIM Call of Cthulhu game, aka Continuing to have a Great Time At The Masquerade! : )

Joey and Bendy destabilised early on, meaning Joey went through the ENTIRE masquerade UNABLE TO STOP SMILING

getting some mixed messages here, Joey

Sometimes u dress ur characters up as rabbits for fun but then you have a lot of emotions about them losing their minds and then u gotta draw them losing their minds while dressed as rabbits... anyway Jack being mind-controlled did NOT help Sammy hold onto his mental stability at this nightmare party in case you were wondering,

ANYWAY HAVE, MORE OUT-OF-CONTEXT QUOTES, UNDER THE CUT

[Sammy is played by me, Joey is played by Boo (inkyvendingmachine), Henry is played by Maf (inkcryptid), Jack is played by Mochi (whatyouwantedmetosee) and Thren (haunted-hijinxer) is our GM!]

[GM] Joey, make a POW roll also... [Joey] Oh, boy, [GM] ...because Bendy was also told to enjoy this party, and you guys just passed a plate of food, and he wants to eat! [Jack] FEED YOUR SON! [Joey] No!!! [Henry] HES A HUNGRY BOY! [Sammy] A GROWING BOY!

[Henry] Henry will look back to see if Moonlight is trying to follow them! [GM] He will see that Moonlight has grabbed onto the railing of the stairs and is hobbling slowly down them. [Joey] *extremely evil-sounding cackling*

[Jack] All Cthulhu Official Dice actually come weighted, to make you fail.

[Henry] Gotta try harder than that, bitch! [Henry] ....that wasn't in character. [Jack] It's in character, but he's only thinking it. [Sammy] That's the golden text you see on the wall if you use the seeing tool

[Henry] My Luck is 68, I don't know what y'all are doing! [Jack] We're spending Luck so that we'll fail! [Sammy] BEING UNLUCKY! I've barely spent any Luck, I'm just NOT A LUCKY GUY

[Henry] Oh, Avedon's here, [GM] There's a gunshot, and he tries to shoot Fowler! [Joey] Um, well, uh, whoops!, rest in peace Fowler! [Sammy] Yeah, that'll sort itself out, let's go! [GM] Moonlight seems to reconsider from telling people to grab you guys, to grabbing Avedon instead. [Joey] Oh! THANKS AVEDON, your sacrifice will, not be thought about in the slightest!!!

[Sammy] Is... weird question, does this room look like it matches the architecture of the rest of the house? [GM] [GM] [GM] ...make a sanity check.

[Sammy] It would be a like, Come on Jack, do you know where you are, shake it off, snap out of it, kind of thing. [GM] Why don't you make a... a.... oh boy, [Sammy] One of my REALLY persuasive social skills?

[GM] This probably just registers to Jack as, Sammy griping about a party, which isn't that strange. [Jack] Yeahhhh, he wants to leave. He always does that. I wanna stay at least a little longer! [GM] That just means it's Jack's job to find them something fun and good to do. [Sammy] Oh boy, [GM] I don't think Jack is being compelled to be aggressive about this necessarily, he just feels like he's Jack at a party, doing the things Jack normally does, and trying to have a good time! [Sammy] Ah, and everyone else is being weird, [GM] Yeah! Everybody's being really weird! You're at this nice party, and now you're in this weird room? The party's back there somewhere! [Jack] I mean not that he's opposed to bein' dragged into side rooms at parties by cute boys, but,

[GM] The table looks like a table that Henry has in his house, actually. [Sammy] Have I ever been in Henry's house? These are questions I didn't expect to need to ask tonight.

[Sammy] Jack, this is weird! You see this is weird, right?! [Jack] Well yeah, it is kinda weird that we're in-- what are we doing here? [Joey] Joey is going to grab Jack's arm, and point to the next door, and go "Party is this way!"

[GM] Peter looks worried... [Sammy] Sammy looks worried too! Well, Sammy looks angry, but in a worried way.

[Joey] Joey is going to scream frustratedly. [Sammy] Is there ink in this room? [GM] There is not. [Jack] Is there a party in this room? [GM] Definitely no, only the party you bring with you.

[Joey] Joey is going to scream again. [Joey] He's also going to kick the door. He might stub his toe. [Sammy] Through all this, Joey is smiling. I just need us all to remember that. [Joey] YES. Also his tail is furiously going. [GM] Bendy is also upset! There is nothing to eat here.

[Joey] Joey is going to try to feed Bendy some ideas, [GM] He doesn't want ideas, he wants food!

[Joey] So.... what happens if you fumble a sanity roll?

[GM] See, here's the silly part. At this point, right? At this point, the best place to do the tasks you want to do, involve either getting the stone out of the room with the safe, or having the staff that Henry is currently holding. [Sammy] So you would arrive, by completely different means, to the same place that we are! [GM] Clearly Joey is inside the safe.

[Jack] Bad and naughty Joey Drews get put in the safe to atone for their sins!

[Henry] Henry is going to channel his inner Joey Drew and round the corner and say "No, sorry about him, we're just here on inspection, we need to check the safe." [Henry] Which is probably a Fast Talk, which I hope it isn't, because my Fast Talk is a 5. [GM] Unless you wanna try to turn that into a persuade somehow? [Henry] I'll do Persuade! [GM] What are you doing to persuade them, rather than just lying? [Henry] *rolls* I failed... I'm gonna push it... [Sammy] *uneasy noises* IF YOU PUSH IT AND IT GOES BAD, IT GOES WORSE [Henry] AH! HAHA! I ROLLED A SIX! [Sammy] THAT'S STILL NOT LESS THAN FIVE! [Henry] WELL IM DOING PERSUADE! [Sammy] That means you have to NOT LIE! [Henry] ....Fuck. [Henry] Okay, uh, there's an emergency, we need the contents of that safe. [Sammy] THATS STILL A LIE??? [Joey] NO actually, THAT'S TRUE! [Henry] It IS an emergency!!

[Sammy] Sammy cannot believe that this is working.

[GM] Bendy does wonder what his plan is for getting out of the safe. This does not seem like a fun party place. [Joey] Um, [Joey] Joey says it's a surprise.

[GM] Henry, the safe does indeed open! And there's a Joey! [GM] Bendy says "Oh wow!" [Henry] Henry tries his best to keep a straight face, like yes! this is exactly what he came here for! [Sammy] (Sammy is NOT keeping a straight face) [Jack] (Straight? In this party?)

[Jack] He's probably saying something like, "What are you doing, he's one of us!" [Jack] And that could go either way. That could mean "No, he's chill, I will persuade you to stop!" Or that could mean, "We are also criminals!"

[GM, as the guards] Then why does he look like the Yellow King's messenger? [Henry] *not missing a beat* We get that a lot.

[GM] Something falls from the sky and lands in front of him. And it's a person! [Joey] Is he alive? [GM] Very much not. [Sammy] How... how Illusion of Living canon-compliant is this Joey...?

[Jack] So... it would probably occur to Jack that this is weird for a party,

[Henry] Joey don't touch it! [Joey] Why not? [Henry] There's runes around it. I don't know if you can touch it. [Joey] Joey's gonna touch it. [Henry] *long-suffering sigh* If you get zapped, I'll tell you I told you so!

[Jack] Jack really wishes we were just back at the party right now, you guys... [Jack] Only bad things have happened. [Jack] Pete's traumatised, Joey's goopy, the Lurker ate all of the snacks,

[Sammy] Can I try to break free from Henry? Sammy's gonna try to run over there. [Henry] At this point, Sam can go, if he wants. [Sammy] Okay, cool. Then Sammy's gonna go and put ink in his mouth! [Henry] Goddammit. I was hoping you were going to check on Joey!

[Joey] You can’t take all of the sanity hits! You have to leave some for other people! [Jack] Says you! You got so many temps!! And an indefinite!!

[GM] Bendy probably is complaining loudly about WHY DID HE WALK THROUGH THE RUNES??? [Joey] Oh! I thought he was going to complain about the party, or lack thereof, [GM] That’s part of not having fun at the party, he’s not into that! [Joey] Well, [GM] This is not a fun party activity!!

[GM] But he doesn’t think it will destroy either of them, if you do it right! [Jack] That’s a nice, way to end that sentence,

[Sammy] Let us hurry! May I take the stone? [Joey] Joey shrugs. [Sammy] Sammy will, uh, attempt to reach inside of... whatever this is, and find the stone. [Henry] Reach INTO your LOCAL boss, and you will find A Friend And Boy,

[Sammy] Is there anything in this room that I can pick up, and then hit him in the head with? [GM] Henry has a stick... uh....there’s a projector.... [Sammy] Can I pick that up? [GM] No, you cannot. [Sammy] It would be REALLY funny if Sammy dropped a projector on someone else’s head. [Sammy] HOW THE TURNTABLES!!!

[GM] ...Can you impale with a rocking horse...???? [Sammy] I don’t want to impale, I want to knock him in the head so he passes out!!! Rest your head, it’s time for bed!!!

[Jack] I don’t think Jack has any plans after this! [Jack] I meant that in the sense that he doesn’t know what he’s doing next, but the way I phrased it, now it just sounds like he’s hitting on Fowler, like, he doesn’t have anything to do after this, are you free? That’s not canon.

[Joey] I don’t know how this will go, [Sammy] Good luck! [Joey] But Joey would like to-- [Sammy] Sammy believes in half of you! [GM] w-which Sammy? wHICH HALF?!

[Jack] I know you said “note.” But my brain at first processed that word as “milk.” [Henry] *laughing* “Did you get my milk, Fowler?” [Jack] He drank the last carton and he didn’t buy more! [Sammy] “I’m going to the store, want me to get anything? *jumps into the lake*”

[GM] Combat Jack! [Jack] *exasperated* He’s not a Combat Boy! Jack is soft and warm, like mashed potatoes!!!

[GM] Norman is wondering to Henry if he oughta be concerned about you all getting what you want out of this. [Henry] .....Maybe.

[suchalonelysunflower]

Searching Clearer Skies

Where The Storm Gathers - Chapter 1

Pairing: Stable Lad! Calum Hood x Princess! Reader

Summary: Safe and sound at the Crimson Islands, Y/N and Calum adjust to their new life

Warnings: Mentions of abuse. Violence. Blood. Murder. Guilt. Language. Some grammatical errors (English is not my first language, I’m sorry)

Word Count: 8K

Author’s Note: My babes are here! I would love to know your thoughts for this 🥺Remember that Reblogs, Feedback, Comments and likes are super important and they help me a lot 💕 Hope you like it and Happy Reading 🦋🌻✨

My materialist // wanna be part of my taglist?

Book 2 Materialist || Prologue

The whinny of the horse echoed throughout the woods as the horseshoes crashed against the mud, slipping a few times on its steps but still standing tall as the race continued, encouraged by its rider.

The storm was strong and merciless, dark clouds hovering over the sky crashing one against the other and creating thunders that lasted for more than a minute. The winds whistled threats as the raindrops soaked the ground violently, flooding the path. One wrong move and everything could be lost for those who wander under this storm, but only madmen are capable of doing it.

But Calum was not a madman, he was desperate. His heart beat fast as he hunched over the horse, commanding him to go faster and faster into the darkness. His clothes were soaked and his eyelashes were glued together due to the raindrops that cut through his body like a knife, making it impossible for him to see past the head of the horse.

Lightning crashed, the thunder roared and still, they weren’t as loud as his voice calling his beloved’s name.

He went wherever his heart would tell him to, no second-guessing as he jumped over the fallen carcass of trees that were hit by the wild winds that were blowing, but his determination allowed him to stay put, never once failing to catch himself back in the moment, running faster and faster hoping to get there in time.

“Y/N!” He shouted above the thunder, commanding the horse to take a sharp left as a flash of lightning came crashing down near them.

How did they end up there? So far away and without each other. What made them torn apart? Yet, none of those questions could be answered right now. There was no point to them. Not when she was gone and he couldn’t find her.

The woods seem to expand with every gallop, just a sea of darkness in front of him, an endless void of a starless night, and an unreachable ending as his hopes were starting to falter.

“Y/N!” He cried, voice already hoarse and strained. The strings of his heart almost breaking to the point of feeling nothing but pain every time silence would answer him “Y/N!”

“Calum!”

It was faint, almost inaudible over the rain. Anyone could think that it was just a simple and cruel trick of the mind. But only Calum could recognize that voice anywhere; it was his love and she was in danger.

“Calum!”

She called again, but from where? The echo made it seem like she was everywhere and nowhere at once. Almost as if she was some kind of bird in which his name was cursed to be her calling, always chasing but never catching it.

“Y/N! Where are you?!”

He ran, as far as the horse’s legs would let him as he encouraged the animal to go even faster as they went against the storm walking right into it as he kept calling her name. Knowing that even if she was in the middle of a hurricane, he would never stop until he found her.

“You’re running out of time, boy” A sinister voice accompanied by her cries mixed with the thunder echoed through the woods, but for Calum, it felt almost as if they were whispered in his ear.

The stable lad tightened his grip on the reins and commanded the stallion to go faster “Y/N!”

But he hears nothing but cries. Earth Shattering screams bleed into his head, suffocating him as he cried for her, praying to every deity that was still loyal to them that she would be okay.

“Calum!” It seemed so far, but so close at the same time “Calum!” So he kept going.

Trees would fall; lightning would scatter and the thunder roared, and he ignored all of them. He just needed to get to her even if the world around him seemed to fade into nothingness.

Y/N’s screams seemed to get louder and louder until suddenly, they disappeared.

Calum pulled on the reins, making everything but the rain stop. His heavy breathing was ringing in his ears as he looked around, wondering where she went. But it wasn’t until a ray of lightning hit the ground that he saw her.

She was standing at the edge of a cliff with a tear-stained face, looking straight at him but not moving an inch. Her hair clung to her face as the rain-soaked her entire figure, making her white dress become nothing but a rag.

“Cal…” She whispered, but he still heard it loud and clear.

He jumped off the horse the moment he saw her, an immense sense of relief and happiness came over him as he started to run, calling out for her as the moon calls her stars.

But then, he saw it. A silver light shine pressed against her neck; only a glimpse, only a second, but enough to make him stop in his tracks, just a few meters far from her.

“Glad to know that you have some common sense, boy” The sinister voice called again, but this time Calum knew exactly who it was.

As quick as a bolt of lightning, King Richard made his appearance, wrapping a leather-gloved hand over Y/N’s throat, making her head fall back onto his shoulders as he squeezed just enough to make tears spill from her face.

A condescending, pleased smirk came to his face, watching with red-blooded eyes how she succumbed to his strength. Then, he slowly turned to Calum, showing all of his teeth in a wicked smile.

“So glad you could make it,” He said, pressing the tip of the knife into her skin “I was starting to think you would never find us, and what’s the fun in that?”

“Let her go” Calum nearly growled, taking a step closer to them but stopping the moment Richard pressed the knife harder, drawing a drop of blood from her neck.

Richard smiled “You’re smart. Good At least I know my daughter has a bit of sense when it comes to her choosing a partner” He sneered

“Let. Her. Go” Calum repeated, clenching his fists at his sides and with his heart beating as fast as the rainfall “She’s got nothing to do with this”

“She has everything to do with this!” Richard barked, moving the grip from her neck into her arms and digging his fingers into her skin, leaving marks that might stay there for days.

“Father, please-” Y/N begged in between coughs for air “Leave him be”

“Oh, I will dear. But I must teach this boy a lesson first”

Calum set his desperate eyes on her, unable to hide the fear in them as he watched how she tried to regain her breathing without any sudden moves that could get her closer to the knife.

“Y/N-”

“Cal, please go” She begged, pressing her lips into a thin line to try and drown the pain and the fear “He can’t hurt you here”

He shook his head “I’m not leaving without you”

“How touching”

Calum’s eyes became hard as stone as he turned to the King, standing straighter despite the rain’s attempt to bring him down with them.

“Leave her alone,” He said coldly, taking one step closer “Or I promise you, your head will roll down that cliff with the scum where you belong”

The King just laughed hysterically, closing his eyes as he shook his head slowly “You really think you can threaten me? Me?! I am your King!”

“Calum…”

“You are nothing but a fake! A coward who hides behind his daughter’s body. If you’re so valiant, come and face me like a man”

Richard smiled, almost as if he was waiting for it.

“Oh, Calum, Calum… That’s where you’re wrong” He said, eyes darkening as his smile widened “I’m not a man. I’m a King”

And all that Calum could hear afterward was the sound of the knife slashing her throat.

*

He jolted awake with beams of sweat running down his forehead, his whole body was drenched in sweat which made him think he was back in the woods. But Calum wouldn’t, Calum couldn’t because the woods were at home in RoseWood and there were no woods in the Isles.

His brown eyes quickly landed on his side, finally being able to breathe with some sort of relief the moment he saw her sleeping there: His wife.

Y/N had her face pressed into the pillow, shifting slightly and mumbling something in her dream when his hand came to brush some of her hair that had fallen into her face, covering her beauty from him. Calum watched her sleep for a few minutes, thanking every god there is for allowing him to live this moment, even if it was just for a few more hours before they have to wake up. He just wished she could sleep peacefully tonight, no nightmares.

Outside the window it was still raining, it hasn’t stopped since they came here almost six months ago. He couldn’t remember the last time he saw the sun, but he knew he always felt warm with her by his side. And she was by his side, and that was the most important thing. She was there with him, alive and well and still in love with him. He could go a lifetime without sunshine if it meant to keep her safe.

Thunders were roaring and he was thankful that Y/N was a heavy sleeper, he even was a little jealous because he knows he won’t be able to fall asleep again. He never does after those kinds of nightmares.

The memory of that afternoon in the woods still haunts him. The screams the Princess let out when she begged her father for mercy still live in his head, reminding him that this was all his fault. He could still hear her call his name; feel her cling into his aching body on the damped, humid cells of the dungeon; and, even if she won’t admit it, he still remembers the sadness in her eyes when they had to leave home because “home” was not safe enough. And he can’t help but to feel guilty.

Calum rose from their bed, wiping a damped cloth over his face as he walked up to the window, hoping that the rain could wash out his fears and bring him back to the present. He leaned over, pressing his forearm to the glass as he watched the clouds crash against one another, counting the seconds after the lightning to hear its sounds.

He doesn’t know how much time he stayed there, maybe a few minutes, maybe hours. What he knows is that he could never truly relax until he felt a pair of arms wrap around his waist, smiling when he noticed a gold wedding band adorning one of the fingers.

“It’s cold without you there” She mumbled, pressing her cheek against his back.

“I know, I’m sorry,” He said, placing his hands on top of hers.

“Hmm, you knew and you still left” Y/N reprimanded, making him chuckle as he lifted her hand and placed a soft kiss on her palm “It was another nightmare, wasn’t it?”

“It’s always the same, at least the ending is”

“You could talk to me, you know? Maybe it could help” She offered, slipping into his arms and ending up in front of him, doe eyes looking straight at him “I hate to see you so caught up in there,” Her hands flew to either side of his face, cupping it delicately “Just let me in, let me help you”

Calum smiled softly “You’re too kind, my rose. But this is not a burden I’d want you to carry. It is only mine to bear”

“It doesn’t have to be,” She said. “You’ve helped me carry my burden for years, creating a safe space with you while my nightmare was just beginning. You’ve helped me so much, Cal. Why can’t you let me do the same?”

“Because I’m selfish,” He smiled “And besides, now it’s not a time to talk about nightmares”

“Why?”

“Cause the sun’s coming up”

Y/N gasped and turned around, but was only met with cloudy skies and a light drizzle. Then, she turned around with a frown only to find Calum trying not to smile.

“That’s not funny,” She said, punching him lightly on the chest. “Besides, how do you know it’s morning already? You can’t see anything past those clouds and the fog”

“Take the word from a man who worked his whole life on a field” He laughed, placing one hand at either side of her waist and pulling her closer “And you also look gorgeous in the morning”

Y/N hummed as he kissed her forehead “Didn’t my husband say I look gorgeous every single time of day?”

“Did he?” Calum asked, placing kisses all over her cheeks and down to her jaw and neck “Must be a very observant and smart man”

“Yes,” She let out a breathy giggle, tangling her hands at the back of his head. “But don’t tell him, or his ego would be unstoppable…” She sighed when his lips met the spot behind her ear, curling her fingers but finding nothing to hold on to “God, I miss your curls”

“They’ll grow back” He whispered in her ear, biting it slightly as his hands traveled to the back of her thighs, picking her up with ease without ever stopping the work of his mouth on her skin.

“Cal…” She breathed, “Take me to bed”

“As you wish”

He pulled away just in time for her hand to cup his cheek, bringing him closer as their lips met, carefully savoring their moment as he carried her to bed.

*

Life at the Isles was nothing like in RoseWood, that was for sure.

Thanks to Ashton, Y/N could keep her title as The Princess of Roses, yet the benefits she used to hold at her birthplace did not follow. Here, she was just another member of King Alex’s court and so was Calum and although it was not what they were used to, they managed to adapt pretty quickly.

Early in the mornings, all members of the court were expected to stand in the throne room to receive the King and Queen and discuss what’s been going on with the Kingdom; after that, Y/N and Calum went their separate ways.

The ladies of the court were free to choose any activity or class of their liking, something foreigner to the Princess who's been told all her life what she should do. While the men of the court were sent to train or to their own business to negotiate trades with other kingdoms. When they arrived, Calum offered his service as a Stable Lad, yet that position was already taken and King Alex thought he might work better as an apprentice of the Welder, hence the ring on his wife’s finger and his matching one on his left hand, made out of just for her by his own hands.

Still, life at the Isles was pretty lonely. Words travel fast, especially when a runaway Princess and her new not-Royal husband escape their Kingdom a day before her wedding to a powerful King. And while King Alex was very aware of the situation, the other members of the court had their own ideas, and so, rumors started to spread.

But neither Calum nor Y/N paid much attention to them. They knew their story, they knew what they went through. So the words of strangers did not damage them but made them stronger, ready to prove them wrong when they were underestimated. And, after all, they had each other and they were safe, that was the only thing that mattered to them.

“Do you think he’ll notice we were late?” Y/N asked as she hurried her steps through the stone-floored hallway

“There is still time,” Calum assured her “Although we might not make it to our places in time”

“And surely Lady Johana will have something to say about it” She rolled her eyes “I can’t believe you convinced me to stay in bed a little longer than we’re used to”

Calum chuckled “It’s not like you needed much convincing anyway, Rose. After all, dear wife, who was the one that couldn’t keep her hands off-“

“Say another word and I’ll tell Lord Gillian how interested you are in learning ancient geology” She challenged with a smile, the same one she held every time she playfully threatened him since they were children.

Calum just rolled his eyes and grabbed Y/N by the waist, sweeping her off her feet and pulling her closer to him as she squealed, trying to get away from his grasp as he started to tickle her.

“Cal! Noooo” She tried to hold her laughter as he hid his face on her neck, putting her down and wrapping his arms around her waist, holding her closer “You’re a menace”

“Yet, you still chose to marry me” He kissed her cheek “So I’m your menace, no one else’s”

“Hmm, you better” She pecked his lips “But my menace of a husband is going to make us late”

Y/N slid from his grasp, grabbing his hand and pulling him with her as they made their way to the throne room and take the small space in the corner, earning a few glances from the not-so-friendly members of the court.

King Alex’s throne room was not as big as the one in RoseWood, nor as brightly lit. But it was enough to hold all 30 members of the court, the monarchs, their pets, and a few servants who always stayed put in case they were needed.

All members of the court stood in a semi-circle around the two throne chairs, all of them with an assigned space where they would wait until the King or Queen asked them something, or until the meeting was over.

It was weird for the couple to see such order and respect for each individual, given that Y/N’s father was not one to take advice from people and just act out of his own thoughts and ideas, no matter how cruel or crazy they might be. But King Alex was always fair, a bit eccentric and sometimes narcissistic, but always fair and respectful towards others; not to mention a good friend for the RoseWood’s Prince, taking Y/N and Calum in and promising them nothing but safety in his realm.

He was a respected man, a noble, humble King that carried no weapons in his court because his trust was always in his friends. Yet, today when the servants opened the door for him and the Queen, it was the frown set upon his face that made all conversations die as he made his way to his throne.

King Alex’s eyes surveyed the room, biting the inside of his cheek lightly as he laid his eyes on the RoseWood bound couple before sitting down.

“Sir Steriff!” The King called, making everyone in the room shake at the sudden boom of his voice.

“Y-yes, your Majesty?” Poor Sir Cleamont Steriff stuttered, but King Alex just rolled his eyes.

“How’s the situation down at the bay? Sources say that there’s a clear decline in the production”

The questions were not as serious or as important as his voice made them out to be. Y/N could recognize that tone of hidden anger, it was the same tone her father used when he had to speak to her in a public setting, and the same one Ashton used when something about his royal duties as an heir bothered him. She knew Calum could recognize that too, so when her eyes met his she found the same comforting look he used to give her, as well as a tug on her hand for reassurance.

It was in the small moments where Y/N found herself back in RoseWood; a simple whisper or ill-intentioned look brought back the memory of her father; the sound of crystal shattering or the sound of a whip or a slap; even the shadows that surrounded the palace made her wary of what may hide inside them, wondering if there could ever be free of the crows and her father’s power over her.

Because even when they were kingdoms away, a father’s harm can still hurt and the memories may never be forgotten as long as they shall live, but they’ll live differently in a separate perspective where one is a villain and the other one is smiling over that fact. Y/N was still learning to live with that darkness, make it part of herself so she could let go and grow with it and never let it win.

Luckily for her, Calum was willing to do anything and everything to make sure that she was safe in every single sense of the word. For Calum has had his own share of darkness, the moments that haunt him at night even though the proof of their victory is still the beating of their hearts. It was the demons they had to face, but they would never do it on their own, not as long as their hands are intertwined and their love lives in their hearts.

“I would like to request an audience with Princess Y/N and Sir Hood” Alex’s voice made them go back to reality, feeling all eyes on them as they solemnly nod and bow “Alone. You are all dismissed”

The whispers were louder this time. A handful of eyes looking in their direction going from pitiful to curious to confused. The King rarely asked for private audiences, so no one really knew if they should feel grateful or jealous at the couple’s fate.

Once the room got cleared out except for The King and Queen, a few servants, and Calum and Y/N, King Alex finally let out a sigh, leaning his back against the throne and pinching the skin right between his eyes.

“Your Majesty,” The two of them said in unison as they approached the throne, bowing.

“Rise,” King Alex commanded. “I assume the two of you would not hide something from me after I gave you shelter under my kingdom, correct?”

“Yes, Your Majesty” Calum answered, not even batting an eye “We could never hide something from you”

“You’ve been so good to us,” Y/N added, a kind smile playing on her lips as she looked between the monarchs “We owe you two so much for all your kindness and understanding. We might never be able to repay it”

“There is no need for a settlement of debt” The Queen smiled, placing her hand over her husband’s “And we have no doubts about your intentions in our kingdom, knowing how difficult it was for you to get out of RoseWood. But-”

“But there’s been some unsettling news that traveled all the way overseas” The King finished “And any information you have about it would be useful for us”

“If we can ease Your Majesty’s mind with something, then we’ll do our best for it to be so,” Calum said with a nod, standing straighter and looking directly at the King so he knew he wasn’t lying.

“There is a rumor running around,” The King of the Isles said gravely “That the King of Roses has an army ready for battle and that he wants to go to war with all the nearby Kingdoms who oppose him”

Y/N’s breath hitched in her throat “It can’t be”

“It is said that other kingdoms have started to revoke their promises to RoseWood until a true leader comes along and that Richard is not happy about it. Would you happen to know anything that could confirm or deny this rumor?”

“I’m afraid we possess no such information, Your Majesty” Calum said, practically ripping the words out of Y/N's Mouth even though she was too frightened to even speak “The last time we heard news about King Richard was that he lost all support from The Vail when King Luke swore allegiance to his son, Prince Ashton. Maybe the other kingdoms got winds about the deal and did the same”

“And my father does not have an army,” Y/N added, hands shaking at the memories “He offered to marry me to King Luke to gain the most powerful army with the warriors of The Vail since RoseWood’s soldiers could not face so many kingdoms at once. The last news we got was from one of King Luke’s letters saying that my father was in shambles when it came to political power, and do believe me Your Majesty when I say that King Richard is not a strong man to pick himself up on his own”

King Alex’s hummed, seemingly pleased with the answers “I know your loyalties lie with the right side of the story,” He said, making the two of them let out a breath of relief “But truth is that you’ve been away from home for far too long to know if things have indeed changed in the months you’ve been here in Crimson Isles. Say, Your Highness, any news from our dear Prince?”

Y/N visibly tensed and her hand reached for Calum’s in an unconscious and instant move at the mention of her brother's name, the only one who’s been consuming her thoughts with worry for she didn’t know anything about him since they went away.

“I’m afraid not, Your Majesty,” She said, clearing her throat “Although I’m hopeful that by the next shipping news will come from RoseWood”

“Let us pray it’ll be that way” The Queen answered with an understanding smile “Our dear Prince Ashton must be very busy as always, but he will not forget us”

“Captain Merrick will come in a fortnight” King Alex added “I’ll request an audience with him and with the two of you. My Lord,” He said, referring to Calum who nodded “I take your lessons are going well?”

“Yes, Your Majesty”

“And your lessons, Your Highness? Is Maester Lorcas treating you well?”

Y/N smiled with ease “I’m learning a lot from the Maester, it’s an honor to be his pupil and I’m thankful for the opportunity”

King Alex smiled as well, pleased that the two of them were content in his court “And we are grateful that you’re here and safe. Now, you may go on with your day. You’re dismissed, if anything new comes regarding King Richard, I’ll let you know”

Calum and Y/N thanked the King and Queen with a bow before exiting the throne room. They walked a few meters, making sure no one was following them when Calum pulled her to a secluded hallway, finally letting out their worried breaths as they stood one in front of the other.

“Calum…” She said, eyes wide open with a threat of tears gathering at the corners.

“It’s okay, Rose,” He said, cupping her cheek with his palm, masking his own worry. “It’s just a rumor. We both know your father cannot do much with Asthon there, and even if he sent him to another political trip, the army is not strong, not under his command”

He was trying to be reasonable. RoseWood’s army was good and it could manage in a battle. Yet, with King Richard on the throne the administration of it never really progressed into anything else than a simple guard. They were not equipped for war and it seemed rather impossible for them to become a force to be reckoned with in less than a year.

“But we don’t know where Ashton is!” Y/N whispered, trying to bite her tongue almost as if the blood that might drop from it might keep her grounded “Calum, it’s been months since his last letter and I know my brother. I know he won’t break his promise to write to us; to me. And I can’t shake this feeling that maybe-”

“If anything were to happen we would already be informed” Calum tilted her head so she could look him in the eyes “I’m not disregarding your feelings, my love. But we also try not to draw conclusions too quickly. The weather here might’ve delayed any letters and if Captain Merrick is on his way he might bring news from him. We must remain hopeful, Ashton will be fine”

The stable lad pulled her close, placing a small kiss on her forehead as he felt her shoulders relax into the embrace.

“Do you want me to walk you to the laboratory?” He asked with a small smile, running his hands up and down her arms. Y/N shook her head.

“I’ll be fine, my love, thank you. Thank you for everything”

Calum smiled, cupping her face one more time as he took her in. All of her and her beautiful eyes looking at him, filled with love and comfort, he knew he was right where he was meant to be just by looking into those eyes.

“I love you, my little rose”

“I love you more”

*

The color of the liquid changed from yellow to green inside the little pot as it started to boil, making the Maester gasp as Y/N smiled proudly at her mixture.

“Your Highness! That’s a perfect ointment there!” The old man said, practically jumping with joy as he mixed the spoon with the now gooey product “And on your first try! May the gods bless those hands, Princess. You’re a natural!”

A small scoff was heard around the room, undoubtedly coming from one of the other ladies from the court that also chose to learn more about medicine. Yet, Y/N kept her head held high, as a Princess she was raised to bow to no one that didn’t deserve her respect and she was not going to let some ill-intended comments get to her, not after everything she had to endure from people that were meant to love her.

But that didn’t mean Maester Lorcas would keep the same composure.

“Lady Gillian,” He said, raising one of his white, bushy brows “Care to share with the class what this ointment does? From what I see, you still haven’t finished yours”

Lady Gillian gasped as her cheeks turned beat red, mumbling under her breath: “I did finish mine”

Maester Lorcas hummed with disdain “Can anyone else tell me what is that you’re doing right now? Why is important? Anyone?”

Y/N raised her hand “The ointment is mostly used to treat scars; one needs to scatter it across the damaged tissue every six hours and let it rest on the patient’s sink. If treated immediately, it could potentially erase the scar and prevent further damage and infections. It also works to erase any dark spots of the skin if accompanied by other treatments”

The old Maester smiled and laughed joyfully at her answer “See?!” He asked the other ladies “That’s what happens when you pay attention instead of talking about the latest gossip that everyone already knows on this small Island. You learn. Good job, Your Highness, as usual”

“Just because she’s a princess doesn’t mean she gets special treatment” One of the other ladies scoffed under her breath. Y/N only rolled her eyes and went back to her mixture “She had the perfect life anyway”

“Maybe if you stop whispering about her as if she wasn’t in the same room, you’ll be able to do something more than to waste everyone’s time,” Y/N said, not even turning around as she added a bit more chamomile seeds “I was raised to see honor and value in everything except on empty words and ill thoughts, and to respect every soul as an equal, no matter their background, something that you all lack. But maybe it’s a Princess’ thing and you wouldn’t know about that” She said, finally turning around with an unreadable face “Feel free to keep talking, it’s your right. But it is going to take more than that to try and hurt me. And maybe I could take it more seriously if you say it to my face”

The ladies all snickered and scoffed, lifting their noses and going back to their own pots as they tried and failed to get the recipe right. Y/N turned around, sending a complicit look to the Maester who stood and watched with a proud smile at how those nasty women were put back in their places with such grace.

Still, Y/N could not share the same joy as she sighed, going back to her work without saying another word.

She knew that life at the Isles would be a hard adjustment, but she was doing a great job considering the rumors that surrounded her. From the very first day in court whispers about how she was a runaway bride, breaking a powerful King’s heart as she decided to flee with her secret lover from a much lower social class. Others said she was bewitched; others that she was some kind of witch herself. No one knew about the hell she went through or the pain inside her heart at having to leave her hometown and the only family she loved behind.

Yes, she always dreamt of flying away from home, finding new horizons with Calum by her side. Find the home she never had on RoseWood, to begin with. But the guilt of leaving her beloved brother behind after knowing what her father was capable of; the pain of leaving behind all her mother’s memories; and the undying feeling of knowing something was wrong consumed her every day, wishing she could have more time to say goodbye to the place that saw her become the person she was today, maybe one last goodbye to the tree that saw her love bloom or one last trip to the square town, promising to go back one day when the skies were clearer and the danger was far gone.

She knew that time would come eventually, but without any news from Ashton, those hopes seemed farther and farther away.

“Your Highness?” Maester Lorcas asked, bringing her back from her thoughts “May I have a word?”

Only then did Y/N notice that the lesson was over and they were the only ones in the old lab.

“I must say, Princess, that I am very impressed,” He said, sitting on his chair with some difficulty “Are you sure you’ve never had any experience in the medical field?”

Y/N smiled, looking down as her cheeks were tinted pink “I can’t say I have, Maester. RoseWood didn’t let the royal family ever step foot into the infirmary unless it was an emergency. Fearing we might get sick”

Maester Lorcas laughed, raising his brows “Say, I never took you for one to follow the rules”

“Certainly not,” She laughed as well. “There were… situations in which I had to fend for myself to get an ointment or two without anyone noticing. My husband used to help me get them after I told them which one would be useful and effective, taking the information I stole from the Maesters at the palace”

“Must be a loyal one, that husband of yours”

“I wouldn’t be here without him,” She said, smiling at the memory of Calum helping her heal the wounds her father would give her, stealing from the town’s Maester or directly from the palace with the empty promise of it being the last time he would have to see her in pain because “it won’t happen again, you’ll see” until it happened again “Still, I was always interested in healing. So when King Alex so kindly offered to take these classes, I knew I couldn’t say no and prevent myself from so much knowledge”

“And let’s pray you might never have to use this knowledge if you come back home”

Those words seemed to spark something in her as she raised her gaze to the old Maester who looked at her with crystalized eyes and a knowing, merciful and understanding smile. Almost as if he could see the scars and old bruises that still covered her body. Still, he said nothing and Y/N was thankful for that.

“It’s an honor to have you as a student, Your Highness,” He said “For what its worth, I am glad that you came here”

Y/N pressed her lips in a thin line, nodding lightly before bowing and leaving the room. Feeling somehow validated by a stranger, finally someone she could trust.

*

The evening rain was stronger than this morning’s, still, that didn’t stop Calum from training, nothing did.

He swung the sword with such ease, cutting through the rain in synchronized moves; placing his feet where they were supposed to be; his breathing calm and collected as he raised his elbow to the level of his eyes, ready to strike again against the invisible evil that stood in front of him.

Grunts due to the effort escaped his lips as the rain fell on top of his buzz-shaved head, soaking him completely and making his white shirt cling to his skin, rain, and beads of sweat mixing and falling to the ground. But Calum didn’t care about how tired he might be or who might see him fight the rain. In his head, he could still hear her screams and watch her fall to her death without him being able to do anything about it.

The vivid memory of Y/N’s screams back in the woods; her father’s laughter as he started to hit her, grabbing her by the hair and kicking her sides while she pleaded for mercy on him, pleading with tears in her eyes for his guards not to hurt the man she loved.

All he could see at that moment was her. He did not care about the guards beating him up, if anything he couldn’t feel anything anymore, not while she was in pain, and all because of him. He tried to stand up, oh how many times did he try, but all that got him was mocking laughs from the King and his guards, feeling pathetic as he couldn’t protect her.

The sword made a swoosh sound, cutting his thoughts short as he started to hit the mock doll that they had ready for training. Only a crazy person would be training under the rain; but Calum was not crazy, he was determined. Determined to get those screams out of his head.

When King Alex offered him a job as a welder apprentice he took it with the condition to also have time for training. Y/N asked him why the sudden interest in learning how to fight with a sword, but how could he even explain without bringing her more pain than the one she was already carrying?

For years he stood and watched the mistreatment she suffered at the hands of her father; the abuse and cruelty she went through. Still, she managed to smile and see the beauty in everything, carrying such compassion in her heart and the hope for things to change. He wished he could be better, just like her. And he tried when she begged him to wait for her birthday so they could finally be free… He now knows he should’ve strode into the castle that night and confronted him, consequences be damned, but at least she would’ve been safer.

His heart was beating strongly inside his chest as he closed his eyes and let his instincts guide him on his next movements, imagining that exact moment in the woods and all the things he could’ve done.

Y/N watched with a heavy heart how her husband moved under the rain, hitting the target once, twice, three times before starting again with different moves.

She ponders on how much Calum has changed since they came to the Crimson Isles. He cut his hair short, fearing someone might recognize him upon arrival and bring Richard’s rage upon them; the muscles on his back and arms were more defined, more broadly as he scheduled at least two training sessions every day without missing a single one. But it was in his eyes where she could notice the biggest change, they were still warm and full of love whenever he looked at her, but it was in the moments when he thought she wasn’t looking that got her worried; she could see the storm that was hiding in them, all the thoughts he didn’t share, the pain and cold memories that haunt him.

It was impossible to lie. For Calum, it was impossible to lie to her, even if he was just hiding the truth.

She jumped when the iron sword hit the ground, Calum was still giving his back to her as he crouched to get the bow and arrow that was lying on the ground, moving swiftly towards the Alamy that stood at the other side, shooting arrow after arrow as the muscles on his back tensed.

Her eyes gazed at the sky, getting darker as the storm was getting restless, not thinking twice as she walked towards him, letting the mud cling to her dress as the rain covered her whole.

“It’s late,” She said as Calum hit the target.

“I know,” He answered, grabbing another arrow from the quiver, not even turning around to see her “I’ll be there soon”

“Calum,”

The thunder roared above them, but neither of them even dared to flinch as the arrow hit the target once again.

There were so many things unsaid under the rain, a pang of shared guilt and an indescribable fear, so similar and yet so different at the same time.

“Calum, let’s go to bed” She insisted with a sweet but firm voice “It’s time”

“Just- I need to get this right”

“Why? We are safe here” She put a hand on his shoulder, making him visibly relax “Cal…”

“It’s okay,” He whispered with a sigh, turning to look at her through the raindrops “I’ll be up there soon, my rose. You don’t have to wait out here in the rain”

“You shouldn’t be out here in the rain, my love”

“I want to be ready”

“For what?” She sighed, shaking her head before meeting his gaze once again “Sometimes I wish I could know what you’re thinking, the things you’re not telling me for some reason”

Calum looked at the floor “I don’t think there’s anything you don’t already know, my rose”

She nodded, giving him a small smile that didn’t reach her eyes like she used to do. Then, she took a step back but stood still as her eyes never left his.

“Y/N,”

“I’m not letting you be in the rain all on your own, Cal,” She said, squinting her eyes due to the rain.

“You’re going to get sick,” The stable lad argued, but the Princess just shrugged.

“Too bad!” He was about to say something else but she cut him off “We are a team, Calum. Where you go, I go. If you get sick then so will I. You knew that before we married so don’t pretend I’ll leave without my husband”

Calum couldn’t help but smile, even though he tried, but the word “my husband” coming out of her lips still brought butterflies inside of him, reminding him of how lucky he was to be able to call her “his wife”

He knew there was no way to stop her if she wanted to stay. Y/N was never the one who took a no for an answer when her head was stuck on something so firmly, so stubborn yet so kind and loving. Calum could not love her more even if he tried, and he knew she loved him, too. So how not rejoice in that?

“What kind of husband will leave his wife standing in the rain?” He asked, taking a step closer to her.

“The worst kind, of course,” She smiled, placing her hands on his chest “But mine stays with me, so the debt is paid”

“The other husband should take notes”

“Maybe he should”

They both smiled before Calum wrapped his arm around her waist, bringing her closer as she stood on her tiptoes, brushing their lips together as they started to feel warm under the cold storm. Knowing they’ll be alright after all.

*

When the morning came so did the breeze, making Y/N shiver as she nuzzled into Calum’s chest, letting his heartbeat be the melody that will lure her back to sleep. She could feel his strong arms wrapped around her, bringing her closer as he stirred awake, placing a soft kiss on the top of her head.

Their legs were tangled under the sheets, finding warmth and comfort in each other’s embrace as they didn’t say a word. There was no need to say what they already knew, what they already felt deep inside their hearts. Safe and sound as they let the morning take its time to arrive.

Still, the breeze kept blowing, getting colder each time as it blew through the sails of a ship called the Kaleidoscope where a man stood proudly with a smirk as The Crimson Isles could already be seen standing a few kilometers away.

“My Lord?” The captain of the ship called his attention “We’ll be arriving shortly, just wanted to let you know so you can get your luggage ready”

“Thank you, Captain Merrick” The man smiled, extending his hand, taking the captain to shake “You are so very kind. I’m anxious to go back to the Isles after so many years”

“You said you were traveling a lot?”

“For work, yes”

Merrick hummed, narrowing his eyes “What do you do for a living, my Lord? If you don’t mind me asking”

“Ah, I worked for several Ladies and Lords from different courts around the world” The man smiled “Some easier to work with than others”

“I see,” The captain nodded “Is that where…?” He was pointing to the scar that ran down the mysterious man’s left eye, a mark he seldom saw in travelers.

“This? Got it from an altercation at The Vail. A misunderstanding, you see, people from The Vail are… not as trustworthy as one might think”

The charming smile that man wore could convince anyone of his lies as the captain clearly believed him.

“Haven’t heard from people from The Vail in a while”

“Really?”

“Yes, the last conversation I had with someone with a connection from that place was a Princess and her new husband,” The captain said, trying to sound as vague as possible for the stranger that unbeknown to him was already aware of the story “I heard nothing but good things about their King”

“You might be surprised” The man muttered under his breath “You said you were going to King Alex’s court once we get there, is that correct?”

The captain nodded “King Alex is an old friend, and he requested an audience.”

“Would it be okay if I come along?” The man asked “I want to present my loyalty and service to the crown and I believe it would be comforting to do it in the presence of such a nice acquaintance”

“I don’t see why not. Could you remind me of your name, my Lord? That way I can let the King know we’re on our way”

“Jefferson,” The man said “Bernard Jefferson”

And just like that and with a simple but elaborated lie, the crow’s plan started to take flight.

*

*

tags: @iknowyouthinkimbulletproof @mystic-232 @talksoprettyjjx @theshyspy @hoodhoran @flaneurcth @conversecake @bubblegum18 @irwin-fletcher-ash @just-here-to-escape-from-reality @1980holland @wiiildflowerrr @hoplessromantic727 @fivesecondsofonedirection @another-lonely-heart @aabc5sauce @dudethisiswhyyoudonthavefriends @fakebetch9694 @5sos-imagine @SunflowerAngel2123 @perfectnouis @in-superbloom @lukeisstillapenguin @sadcupofcoffee @superstarmarvel @personalmuyverypersonal @cnco.angels @vtte @as-hs-blog @himbohood @sofiaaraee @irwindoll @lolzkye @ashtonsunflower @nicebasscalum @calumspupils @secretsicanthideanymore @the-ghost-of-ash @alltimepogue @wontlastimokwiththat @ttinahood @lukespitinmymouth @perfectnouis @cncoangelss @darrensos @whywontyoulovemecami @itwouldburnupintheatmosphere-de @yeah-and69 @fckingpernico @multistann @averageantichrist @a-darneddarling @tpwkcth @f-mu @kindahumanbutalsoinsane @floweronyourskin @ihavenoideawhattodowithyou @bittersweetb4by @aria-grace-scott @thestarsandtheircoffee @bvbygxrl @luisa180206 @xxxlaura

[animalkingdom-an0nymous]

False God- Sean Wallace

Disclaimer: No gifs or photos are mine unless stated otherwise.

Warning: A violent, smutty NSFW Sean Wallace fic. What if that last day ended differently? What if Sean made it out with his wounds? And what if there was someone from his childhood who haunted him just as much as he haunted her?

Subject: Sean X Y/N

Growing up, Sean Wallace and I were one in the same. We liked the same jokes, ate our peanut butter and jelly sandwiches cut the same way- in triangles- and our only real difference was that I was an American. Our fathers, both legendary crime bosses in their own right, were great business partners and made each other filthy rich. We were dangerously similar.

Until we weren’t.

I’d been in America when Finn Wallace was murdered, and I’d stayed in America during the aftermath. My father had cared deeply for Finn, but the world we lived in was fucking brutal, cold, and my dad would never risk my well being by allowing me to go to the UK to be with Sean.

Hearing about all of it had been a nightmare, though. Hearing about murders and the carnage, communities and families wiped out when Sean locked the city down. My heart ached for the boy I once knew and feared for the man that was, and then, just as quickly as it all blew up, the flames went out. All was quiet.

Sean Wallace was dead.

Or so the world thought. My father, who had an in with Billy and Jac, knew the truth. The Wallace family had connections within the police force- cliché, right?- and when a few of their own found him lying in a pool of his own blood, bleeding out from his fucking face, they quickly pronounced him dead at the scene. I didn’t know the ins and outs, didn’t care to, because the life I lived now was so far from the life I was forced to live as a child. All I knew was they got him out of there and Sean Wallace, as London knew him, was dead.

I needed him to stay that way.

It had been nearly a year since then, nearly a year since I last had the nerve to ask my dad about him. I think he knew how I felt, knew I had gone to great lengths to distance myself from him and my mother and the hellish, brutal life they created. But that didn’t mean my dad didn’t love me. I knew he did in his own, twisted way, and I knew he caught on to the hurt I felt whenever Sean’s name was mentioned.

So he stopped mentioning it.

Billy and Jac were stateside and living under different names, that much I knew. I had yet to see them, but I knew they were close enough to drive to because my mother had made sure to mention in her last email that their “home was beautiful and they think it was quite rude of you not to come around and visit, Y/N.”

It was bullshit. Billy and Jac didn’t feel any type of way about me, we were never close. That was reserved specifically for Sean and me. And look how well that turned out.

I was haunted by the ghost of a man I didn’t even know anymore.

He was labeled as a terrorist and maybe that’s what hurt more than anything. I could never scream from the rooftops how much I fucking loved him because that’s crazy. Because who could love a terrorist? Who could love a man that had murdered, cheated, stolen to get his way? And if I did love him, what kind of woman did that make me?

It was a thought that had been in my mind on replay all day long, the musings drifting into the night as I drove towards my childhood home. I had made the agreement with my parents- namely my father- that once a month I would return home for dinner. It was nearly a two hour drive but one that I committed to because if I didn’t I knew they would show up at my apartment. And what twenty-something year old woman wants her parents showing up at her apartment unannounced?

The gravel ground under my tires as I pulled my all black BMW into the driveway. It was already dark and I knew my mother would have something to say about me showing up late, but at least I showed up. Sure, I was still wearing the navy blue pantsuit I’d worn at work all day and I usually changed whenever I had dinner with them, but my mind was occupied tonight. By thoughts of Sean. By thoughts of Sean getting his face blown off. Did it hurt? Did he remember? Would I ever know?

My father met me at the door. Six foot three and wide like a linebacker, the man was not to be messed with. He was no nonsense and the only people he smiled at were me and the people he was going to shoot right before he shot them. You can do what you want with that information.

“My little angel,” he said and reached for me, taking both my hands in his and bringing them to his lips. It was a simple gesture but one he did every single time. It was the one constant my dad ever provided me. “How was the drive up?”

“Traffic wasn’t too bad tonight, but I ended up getting out a bit later than I thought I would.”

He swung an arm around me as we made our way through the marble foyer, my heels clacking against the floor. “My art gallery owner. Your mother and I are so proud of you.”

I raised my eyebrows. He was feeding me bullshit, both he and my mom wanted me in the family business more than anything, but from the time I could voice my opinion I let them know. No. I would be taking no part in the family business.

Not that I didn’t know my shit. I knew my way around a gun shop and had a better shot than half the men my dad hired to protect us. I hit harder than my first two boyfriends and let everyone know that my last name was still my last name and not to fuck with me. I knew I was untouchable.

That didn’t mean I was embracing the lifestyle.

“Yeah, business is going great, I even hired someone part-time to help out.”

“Background check?”

I rolled my eyes and laughed. “Of course.”

“Family ties?”

“Her name is Mindy and she’s from a farm in rural Kansas.”

He paused and raised his eyebrows, one of the rare times my father ever looked shocked. “She doesn’t even know what our last name holds, does she?”

I shook my head. “Not a clue.”

He laughed his hearty, deep chuckle and stopped us at the bar cart outside of the dining room. As always, he grabbed two tumblers and threw a handful of ice in each before adding to fingers of whiskey. Our favorite. One of our few commonalities. “Proud of you, kid.”

“Thanks, dad.”

I was about to ask him how his week was when my mother’s voice drifted in from the balcony. She liked to drink her wine out there at night, before dinner. Just one glass, but it was a ritual she followed religiously. Her voice was somewhat raspy, a little cold, and I could hear her laughter as though it was wrapping around me like a vine.

But that was the thing; my mother drank her wine outside alone. That was her time. So who was she laughing at?

I glanced over my shoulder at my father to find him looking as though he was at a loss for words. It was so rare that he was speechless, a man of his stature always held a level of composure that was sometimes shocking. But not this time.

“Dad, wha-“

“You’re going to want to finish that drink, angel.”

My blood ran cold at his words. His tone was low, suddenly serious. The lighthearted moment from before was gone, something dark and heavy in its place.

I should have listened to him and finished the drink because as soon as I turned around I was met with the coldest, most pristine set of blue eyes I’d ever seen. Eyes that I once swore I would drown in someday.

Sean Wallace was standing eight feet in front of me. It was the first time we had seen each other in years, the first time I’d seen him since he was… dead.

His face was… fucked. Marred by the bullet that ripped through his left cheek on that fateful day. The skin was raised, almost burn-like, and left a medium sized indent in what would otherwise be a perfectly symmetrical face. His left eyelid held a little lower and it looked like he tried to cover up the other, minor scars with the facial hair that littered his jaw and around his mouth.

But even with the new, broken face, Sean Wallace was still the most breathtaking man in the room. His suit was impeccable and fit him like a glove, the stormy gray matching the storm that seemed to be raging in his eyes. His tie was a navy that matched my own suit and it felt like the universe was pointing at me and laughing. It felt like that bitch was having the time of her life watching me suffer.

“I…” I started, unsure of how to finish.

“I didn’t mean to startle you. I know this” he held a hand up to his face “is a lot to take in.”

I already shook my head, my stomach turning at the thought of him thinking he was ugly. “No! No, I… I, I’m, I wasn’t-“

“Best private schools in the state and she still has that damn stutter.” My mother’s cutting voice ceased my own and I bit at the inside of my cheek. She came around the corner in all her glory, designer dress, perfect manicure and not a hair out of place.

She made me fucking sick.

“It’s nice to see you.” I finally managed to get the words out, although I didn’t know if I was talking to Sean or my mom.

“Jesus, Y/N, you couldn’t even change first?”

“I think she looks great.” Sean’s voice caught everyone off guard and even my mom turned to look at him. “Beautiful, really. You always looked great in a suit.”

I knew he was referring to my high school graduation. Sean was two years older and had flown in to see me graduate. My mom, ever the lady, was determined to force me into a nightmare of a ball gown while I wanted a simple, chic suit. Sean had been there for the entire screaming match, laughing at my mother as she tripped over the dress she had been hellbent on making me wear.

I couldn’t help the small smile that tugged my lips and nodded at him. “Thank you.”

He nodded in return and said nothing else.

“Let’s eat, shall we?” I felt my dad’s hand on my back as he ushered me into the dining room. My feet felt like stone blocks were attached to them as I walked, feeling Sean directly behind me with his eyes burning holes into my suit jacket.

We all sat in silence with the ghost of my past sitting directly across from me. Sean made no secret that he was staring at me and it reminded me of the ignorant young boy I once knew. Sean knew he was handsome, powerful, and could easily get his way. He held himself with the confidence of a man who had everything and it seemed a gunshot to the face didn’t change that.

“You’ve managed to stay under the radar.” I noted as one of the maids poured red wine into my glass.

“Y/N!” my mother scolded.

I raised my eyebrows and didn’t glance in her direction, my eyes holding Sean’s. “What? Are we supposed to sit here and pretend everything is normal? You want me to ask him about the weather?”

“Y/N…” my father’s tone held a warning in it.

“No, she’s right.” Sean spoke up as I took a hearty gulp of wine. “Facial reconstruction had me laid up for a bit. Reconstructing an entire cheekbone can be tricky. And expensive.”

I nodded. “Especially when the entire cheekbone belongs to a dead man.”

The room fell quiet with even the staff scurrying to disappear. My mother was glaring at me and I was sure my father was too, but I didn’t care. I’d spent my entire childhood and teen years caring about and loving Sean only for him to cut me off when he became Finn’s minion and then fake his own fucking death a few years after. He got so caught up in the Wallace life, in the life I thought we both hated, that he forgot about me. And I was angry about it.

“I deserve that.” His accent was the same as always. Smooth. Elegant. The best that private school could buy. “I should have reached out sooner as I knew my siblings were in touch.”

My mother, the martyr, was quick to reassure him. “Sweetheart, you don’t owe us anything. We’re just so happy you’re alright.”

She was so warm with him, a complete contrast to how she acted with me. It was a constant reminder that she always wanted a son and ended up with me instead.

My father opened his mouth to speak when his right hand, Marcus, walked in with a phone in his hand. His face looked pinched, stressed, and my father immediately stood. “Excuse me.”

Sean nodded politely and turned to my mother, but she was already standing and following behind dad, sensing his stress.

“Should we be concerned?”

I shook my head, my eyes still trained in the doorway. “I doubt it.”

Things were quiet then. Too fucking quiet. So quiet I felt like I was suffocating. I took a sip of wine. Then another. Another until my glass was empty and the bottle was taunting me from the center of the table.

“You have every right to be angry.”

“I’m not angry.” I was instantly defensive.

His smile was small, but it was there. “You always were a shit liar.”

“You were always a good one.”

His smile disappeared then and I was soon sitting across from the gangster that was always lurking underneath. Sean could do cool, calm, and collected. But he could only hide the angry, arrogant Wallace traits for so long. 

“I… can’t remember the last time we were face to face.”

I shrugged my shoulders, suddenly uncomfortable. “Christmas. Six years ago. Kingston.”

His smile- God, that fucking smile- reappeared. “You threw a drink in my face.”

“You called me a spoiled fucking twat.”

“You were acting like one.”

Now it was my turn to smile. I didn’t want to, but I couldn’t help it. My early twenties were filled with vodka soda fueled arguments and boyfriends that my family- and Sean- hated. I was so different, that girl doesn’t even seem real anymore.

I was about to respond when I heard shouting coming from down the hall. My father’s office.

Sean and I stood at the same time, both of us sensing a certain level of danger. My father rarely ever shouted, it had to be something catastrophic for him to raise his voice like that.

Entering the hall, I quickly grabbed my bag next to the bar cart and produced my glock before tucking it into my waistband. Sean watched me silently the entire time. He was getting a little too comfortable with staring at me.

“Always prepared.”

“Family business, right?” I shot back at him over my shoulder as we neared my father’s study.

“No, no, fucking No! What do you mean they’re all dead? An entire fucking warehouse of people and they’re all fucking dead?”

My heart stopped in my chest. That was… impossible. The warehouses were untouchable, no one knew where they were unless they were part of our inner circle. Our microscopic inner circle. Which could only mean one thing…

It was an inside job.

“Fuck.” I spat. “Fuck, fuck, fuck!”

“Y/N, something’s happened.” My mother appeared in the doorway as we approached.

“Who did it?” I asked, getting straight to the point. “Any ideas?”

My dad was seated behind his wooden desk, a desk so large it was fit for a king. When I was a child I would spend hours in there reading on the stuffed leather couch while he worked silently. It was one of the few places I felt “safe” growing up.

“Kensington’s dead.” Our eyes met.

Rodger Kensington was my father’s longtime business partner and someone who was like an uncle to me. He’d been there at my prom, my graduation, and when I took my first steps. He was… family.

“Shit.” Sean’s word was quick and quiet, but then I remembered he knew Rodger too, and he knew what this meant.

“What about Sherry? The kids?” I was desperate to make sure their little ones were alright, they were all so young.

“They’re fine. They weren’t home, they-“

My father never got the words out as one of the staff walked in. I had turned at the sound of him entering the room, just barely meeting his eye as he raised his arm, a small handgun pointed directly at the man whose home we were in.

“Y/N!” My mother screaming my name like that would haunt my nightmares for months after.

A single shot rang out and my ears rang, a gasp leaving my lips as I reached for the gun in my waistband. But it wasn’t there.

The man was dead, a gunshot to the temple with crimson blood spilling all over the Italian wood floors. And then there was Sean, standing at my side with my gun pointed straight ahead, a dead look in his eyes.

It was all dangerously quiet and I could hear my own heartbeat, but only for a moment. Because as soon as I took a single breath, shit hit the fan.

My mother released a blood curdling scream, Marcus rushing to her side and grabbing her as she collapsed. My father, stoic, stood and walked over to the wardrobe near the window, swiftly pulling out guns and rounds of ammo. More security rushed in and I stood next to Sean, everything moving in slow motion. I could hear voices, hear my dad barking commands at his security who acted like his soldiers.

“There’s blood on my shoes.”

“What?”

What? Did I just say there was blood on my shoes? But it was true. My expensive cream suede shoes had blood splatter on them and I was ninety percent sure there was bone fragment near my heel.

“Blood. On my shoes.” My voice sounded far away.

Sean was suddenly in front of me and tucking my gun back into my waist while everyone shouted around us. “I’ll buy you a new pair. Bought them at the store on fifth, yeah?”

“How the fuck did you-“ I stopped, putting two and two together. “Have you been watching me?”

Sean’s face changed then and he straightened his shoulders. Our height nearly matched but only because of my heels, and I knew his gesture was dominant, authoritative. “I promise we can talk about that later, but-“

I pushed past him and walked towards my father who was barking orders into a phone. “Did you have Sean keep tabs on me?”

“Y/N, this isn’t the time for you to complain about your independence.”

I slammed my hand down on the wooden desk the same way I had watched him do it so. Many. Times. “Answer me!”

My father, all six foot three of him, stood tall and looked over me even with a desk separating us. “Watch yourself, young lady.”

“What the fuck is going on that you hired someone to watch me? That you hired Sean to watch me? What aren’t you telling me?”

He paused for the briefest of moments while everyone moved around us. I could hear safeties being turned off, my mom screaming down the hallway, and feel Sean standing close enough that I could smell his cologne.

“I’ve known for a bit that someone on the inside was giving information to Merkov brothers. Rodger and I spent months sifting through the weeds trying to figure out who it was. We had a break last night, I was going to tell you everything-“

“Four black SUV’s were spotted five miles from the property. Moving quickly. We need to go.” Marcus had appeared in the doorway sans my mother, his face wiped of anything sort of emotion. In fact, Marcus may have been the most emotionless man I had ever come into contact with. I would even venture to call him heartless.

“Shit.” My dad scrubbed a hand over his face. “I promise I will tell you everything, angel.” He looked at me, the desk separating us. “But right now you need to go and it can’t be back to your apartment.”

“Dad, I…” I had no idea what to say. I couldn’t go back to my apartment in the city, there was most definitely a hit out on my family, including myself, and Sean Wallace was back from the fucking dead. My day was going from bad to worse, my life blowing up in a twenty minute time span.

But I knew my last name, knew the weight it carried. I knew I had a certain responsibility to handle my shit and handle it well, with my shoulders back and my chin up.

“Where am I going?”

He was already on the move and I was on his heels, following him down the winding hallways of the home I grew up in. It was the same house that was sure to be shot to shit as soon as those SUV’s showed up.

“Harbor House.” He barked over his shoulder. “You can drive down there in the charger. Tinted windows. Marcus, have Anthony load a bag into the car. Ammo, guns, everything she’ll need.”

“No one knows where Harbor House is except us.” I reminded him. His business partners may have known about the warehouses and my father’s permanent residence, but Harbor House was for family and family alone.

“I’m not taking any chances, Y/N, not with you. Sean will accompany you and you’ll stay there until you hear from me. I’ll call-“

“What?” I cut him off. “Sean’s not coming with me.”

“I’m not taking any chances with you.” He repeated.

“I don’t need a babysitter.”

Sean cleared his throat behind me and I refused to look at him. I knew he was offended by what I’d said, but quite honestly I was offended by everything he had done since stepping foot in my parents’ home that day.

“This isn’t about what you need or want, Y/N. He’s going with you.”

I was about to fully lose my temper when shots rang out through the house. I reached for my glock and turned the safety off, immediately ducking behind a marble pillar with Sean’s hand on my elbow, holding me still.

There was yelling and gunshots, some of the housekeepers screaming bloody murder from the second and third floors. There was no way those SUV’s were already on the property, no way. It had to be someone else.

Someone had burned our entire fucking family.

“Dad!” I yelled as a bullet whirred past my head.

“Y/N, go! Now!” I could hear him but I couldn’t fucking see him. Marco was beating the shit out of a man dressed all in black, ripping his gun away and firing off a round into his chest. The smell of blood and gunpowder burned my nostrils and I winced.

“I’m not leaving you!” I screamed so loud my voice cracked.

“Sean!” My father shouted. “Get her the fuck out of here! Get her out now, kid! Now!”

I glanced over at Sean, warning him with my eyes not to touch me, but it was too late. He ripped the gun from my hand and wrapped an arm around my waist, tugging me backwards.

“Sean, no!” I screamed, trying to pull away.

“We have to go, Y/N.” He dragged me down the hall while I fought him the whole way , dragging my feet and scratching at the suit clad arm wrapped around my waist. He finally stopped at the side door at the end of the hall and yanked it open before tossing me in.

I stumbled across the cold concrete of the garage and caught myself against the car I was supposed to be leaving in.

Sean locked the door behind him and turned to me, my gun still in his hand. “In.” He motioned to the car.

Still the same, bossy man he always was. Without responding, I turned and made my way across the expansive garage, shoving a table out of the way and yanking open the drawers of a metal cabinet.

“Y/N!” Sean was losing his temper and we were losing time.

“You took my gun!” I finally screamed back, practically growling at him as I picked up twin Berettas and tucked them into the back of my waistband. I grabbed a rifle to throw into the backseat, and one more Glock since Sean had unceremoniously stolen mine and left me empty handed.

He was staring at me as I made my way back to the car, his chest heaving. God, he still looked good. A gunshot to the face only amplified how rough and beautiful he was. Dumb fucking asshole and his dumb fucking face.

I grabbed the keys from the wall and tossed them to Sean who caught them with one hand.

Show off, I thought to myself sullenly as I got into the passenger side, my heart leaping out of my chest. I was about to leave my parents to potentially die. My childhood home was being torn apart, half the staff that knew me since I was a child were now lying dead in the same house they’d dedicated their lives to. It made me sick.

“Just focus on driving.” I told him as the garage door began to rise. I could already see the shadows of feet on the concrete leaned halfway out the window, my nine millimeter raised. One shot to the knee and a man fell, a second shot between the eyes and he was done.

The second man was smart, moved off to the side and just out of aim, and Sean floored the gas pedal while I kept watch.

“Your left.” I said quietly and pointed the gun in front of him, sending shots flying out of the driver’s side door, taking out the second man who had been waiting for us.

“Three of them in front of the gate.” Sean nodded towards the gate at the side of the property, all of them holding assault rifles and aiming at us. “Duck.” he commanded with the car still in reverse.

“What?”

“Duck.” I felt his hand grab at the back of my head he shoved me down, my forehead nearly knocking against my knee as he picked up speed. A loud blast blew out the back windshield and then there was a loud, violent thunk.

His wide palm was still resting on the back of my head, grip so tight it made my scalp prickle in a way that annoyed me. My body had no business getting turned on while in the midst of this shit.

When the tires squealed against the gravel and we went surging forward, I sat back up. I could see smoke coming out of the windows, bullet holes in the brick and mortar. It was a fucking war zone and we were on our way out, leaving behind my family and any shred of sanity I had left.

Fuck.

* * * * * *

The ride to Harbor House was almost completely silent. Sean, ever the Brit, would curse out other drivers every now and then even though ninety percent of the mistakes were his own. Maybe I should have insisted on driving, but at the time the only thing I could think about was whether or not my parents got out.

Although we were never close, I didn’t wish death on my parents. Sure, I resented them for bringing me up in a life of chaos and violence and I’m well aware they caused me a lifetime of trauma, but that didn’t mean I wanted them dead. Definitely not murdered.

It was nearly midnight by the time we arrived. Harbor House was in an exclusive neighborhood and every home had a gate. It had been years since I was last at the house, but it held the only fond memories from my childhood. Harbor House and the Wallace house always felt like home to me. Strange that I was sitting next to a Wallace and not a single shred of me felt comfortable or at home. It was strange, when we were kids he was always my safe space.

I punched in the code and black iron gates opened up, promptly closing with a loud clang behind us. The property itself was a sprawling estate with a two floor home as well as a large yard, pool, and separate guest house. It was on the edge of a cliff and overlooked the Atlantic. Isolated. Safe. Private. The kind of place my family relied on to keep us safe.

“Pull the car into the garage, we’ll get a rental tomorrow.” My voice was monotonous. I felt so drained of every emotion other than pure exhaustion. I was covered in blood, my clothes smelled like gunpowder and sweat, I needed a hot shower.

Sean silently pulled into the garage and killed the engine. We sat there quietly for a moment, so quiet I couldn’t even hear him breathing. If he had any blood on him, I couldn’t tell. From this angle he looked every bit the GQ model. It was only when he turned his face to look at me that I got a glimpse of the mauled left half and got angry all over again.

I was angry at my parents for birthing me into this.

I was angry at whoever burned us.

I was angry at Sean for disappearing from my life in favor of violence. But I was so fucking angry that he had let it go so far that the world thought he was dead.

I almost wished he was.

“There’s five bedrooms. I trust that you’ll find one far away from me?” I phrased it like a question but we both knew it wasn’t.

He gave a curt nod.

The house was exactly as I remembered it. It even smelled the same. Hardwood floors, light walls, French doors leading to a beautiful deck. A kitchen so modern it would make Gordon Ramsey cream his pants. It was the homiest home my family had. It was my haven.

Only now Sean was here to cast a shadow over it.

“There’s plenty of clothes in all the guest bedrooms. My parents like to be prepared for every emergency, you know that.”

Sean nodded as he closed the door that connected to the garage. He locked it and was quick to set the code. The code that he definitely shouldn’t have had.

“How did you-“

“Your father.”

I raised my eyebrows incredulously. “My father gave you the codes to Harbor House?”

He sucked his bottom lip into his mouth, eyes narrowing. “He gave me the code for the gate too, but I was polite enough to let you do it. That’s something, innit?”

He was being a smart ass, pushing my buttons on purpose simply because he could. Or because he’d had enough of my attitude. Either way, I wasn’t having it.

“You must be so fuckin’ proud of yourself. You still have an in with my father even after the shit you pulled in London. My father, Sean, not me. You don’t have shit with me and you made that perfectly clear.”

He squared his shoulders and I couldn’t help but roll my eyes as I sat on the edge of a beautiful cream colored sofa. I couldn’t wait to sink into it tomorrow with a good book.

I quickly fingered at the straps on my heels and kicked them off while mentally preparing for whatever speech he was about to throw my way.

“I’ve really had enough of you talking to me like I’m some shit person. Enough, Y/N.”

I stood back up, hating that I was smaller than him now as I turned on my heel and headed up the stairs. “If you hate my attitude so much then leave me the fuck alone and let me take a shower in peace.”

* * * * *

My shower was hot and relaxing and everything I needed. As soon as the steam surrounded me, I was able to calm down a bit, and once the hot water hit my skin I was able to sigh in relief. Washing off the blood and grime left me feeling like a whole new woman.

So new, in fact, I briefly forgot about the bane of my existence showering down the hall.

Sean. Showering. Sean in the shower with water dripping down his chest and into that perfect V of his hips. Sean’s hot, wet body pressed against mine. Sean’s-

“Can you not?” I said to my reflection as I ran a brush through my hair. Even when I was angry at him, violently angry, it was impossible to deny that he was attractive.

We never hooked up, not even when we were young. But there was always something there. We flirted. We toyed with each other. We got into nasty arguments. People noticed, my friends made comments. I always ignored them and played it off and said it was because we knew each other forever and just connected that way. They all argued that it was more.

I ignored them.

After changing into a comfortable pair of loose cotton pants and a long sleeved shirt, I made my way downstairs. The windows were open and I could hear the waves crashing against the cliff side. My favorite sound. It gave me peace. It soothed me.

The kitchen was empty and I grabbed a bottle of red wine with every intention of drinking the entire bottle. After pouring a rather large amount into the pristine crystal stemware my mother bought, I threw my head back and took a long, large sip.

Ugh. That’s better. I closed my eyes and took another sip, getting lost in the sound of the waves and the dark, cherry taste of the wine. A moment of peace after all the bullshit I had to endure tonight.

It was only when Sean cleared his throat that I realized I wasn’t alone. He was standing at the bottom of the stairs wearing black sweats and a white t-shirt. Simple. Clean. Comfortable. If this had been a few years ago I would have been aching to curl up against him.

“Kitchen’s all yours,” I said as I grabbed my glass and bottle, preparing to go out back.

“You told me you didn’t want to talk to me anymore.” His words cut like a knife to my retreating back and it made me pause, not yet turning around. “You fucking told me you were done.”

I knew what he was referring to. The last time we spoke had been over the phone, maybe four years ago. It had been a normal night with normal conversation and normal “I miss yous”. Sean had truly been one of my best friends and closest confidants. And then the conversation turned ugly when he informed me his father was sending him out on a seriously violent, potentially fatal, mission. Our argument had gotten vile and I said horrible things. He did too, including telling me to “stop acting like a girlfriend because you’re so fucking lonely”.

That had been my breaking point. He reminded me so much of Finn then. He dressed like him, spoke like him, became a carbon copy of him, and I was having none of it. So I had told him to fuck off and lose my number, to never call me again, to pretend I was dead.

It was the one time Sean listened to me and the one time I wished he hadn’t.

To this day, I got embarrassed when I thought about what he had said to me. The way he screamed and the way he humiliated me. Maybe I was lonely, maybe it came off as clingy, but my intentions were always good and I never thought I was a burden to him. But after that last conversation I spent years telling myself that’s exactly what I was. A burden. I checked in too much, my double texting him probably got on his nerves. Constantly complaining about our families when I knew how fortunate I was to live such a lavish life made me sound spoiled, he got tired of it. I spent years convincing myself there was no possible way he missed me and I didn’t miss him either.

“Do you even remember our last conversation?” I turned slowly to face him. “Do you remember what you said?”

He took a step forward and scrubbed a hand over his face. “Of course I do. I’ve had plenty of time to think about it- you. I’d been out drinking with my father-“

“And then turned into him?”

“Oh, fuck off then.” He shook his head, his frustration evident as he rounded the marble island in the kitchen. An expert, he seemed to know where everything was. The glasses. The whiskey.

“I’m not wrong.” I defended myself.

Sean laughed and the sound was hollow, sarcastic. He took a sip of whiskey before turning to me with a cold look in his eyes. “And I wasn’t wrong that day either. Was I?”

I scowled at him to mask the absolute hurt I was experiencing. My heart ached. He’d known he was hurting me. He didn’t care. He remembered and he didn’t care.

“Oh, fuck you, Sean.” I whispered before quickly pushing through the french doors and stepping onto the deck.

“Oi!” Sean shouted as I slammed the doors behind me, taking off down the steps, wine glass in hand.

“I’m not done talking to you.” Sean was hot on my heels.

“The conversation is over.”

“Like hell it is.” I felt long, thick fingers curl around my elbow and then he was hauling me back against him. “You say what you want to say and then think we’re done. We’re not.”

I ripped my arm back and shoved my finger in his face. “I’ve waited four years to say this shit to you!”

“So have I!” He shouted back, the vein in his neck becoming prominent. The female part of my brain wondered what it would feel like to run my tongue along that vein, feel it pulse against my mouth.

Wrong time, I thought to myself and shook my head. “You fucked off for four years, faked your own death, and now I found out my father has had you following me. I don’t know what kind of weird, stalker fetish you’ve developed, but it’s really not doing anything for me.”

Okay, maybe that last part was flat out bitchy, but at that point I didn’t care.

I drained my wine glass while I waited for his response.

“Would you like to tell me about your fetishes?”

“Sure, they all involve watching you bleed out.”

“Should have been there a year ago then, yeah?”

I didn’t have a response for that. I zeroed in on the left half of his face, the scar on his cheek. His cheekbone curved differently, probably because it was handmade, and his scar disappeared into his stubble. He looked so vastly different from the Sean I used to know. He was hardened by life, by Finn’s life. Thirty and angry and alone and legally dead.

I ached for the Sean I once knew, but this wasn’t him.

“How long have you been watching me?”

“A little more than three months.”

“Three months?” I was shocked. I’d had a tail for three months and I didn’t even know it? How embarrassing.

“You wouldn’t have known.” It was as though he could read my mind. “I’ve always been better at it than you.”

“You’re so fucking cocky.” I didn’t know whether to laugh, cry, or slap him, so instead I walked past him and back up the stairs, making my way back into the house to refill my glass. I knew he was following me, knew that the alcohol in my bloodstream was making me feel bold, more bold than I was sober.

Sean closed the French doors, the lock clicking with a tone of finality. I was too aware of it.

“You were shit as hide and seek when we were kids.”

“So that makes you a better spy?”

His tone was serious when he responded. “I was never spying on you. I didn’t have access to your flat. I didn’t follow you around with that ugly wanker with gray hair.”

“Leave Beckett out of this.”

“Beckett?” It was the first time his face had resembled something other than anger. He looked amused. “You’re dating a man named Beckett?”

I cocked my head to the side, narrowing my eyes. “We actually aren’t discussing my dating life, we’re talking about my stalker.”

“Stop saying that. It was to and from work. Only when you were out in public.”

“That doesn’t make it okay!” I finally shouted. None of what happened today was okay. Sean, my dad, the shootout. None of it was okay. “You don’t get to keep up with my fucking life when I have to pretend you’re dead!”

“Lower your voice.” Sean took a step forward.

“Fuck off!” I shouted even louder than before. “You don’t get to just come back and bark orders at me. This isn’t London, Sean!”

“Enough.” He took another step forward and I backed up, reaching for my wine glass.

He was so calm, so fucking collected while I was beginning to fall apart. I hated him for it. Fuck Sean Wallace, I wanted him to hurt the way I did. So, without thinking twice, I hurled my glass at him. Sean barely dodged it, whipping his head to the side as it soared past him and landed on the floor in a million little pieces.

He was a blur as he flew across the kitchen, growling as he slammed my back up against the wall. I cried out as searing pain sent shock waves down my back, but I was too angry to focus on it. My hands instantly went into fight mode and my fingers caught the tip of his nose as I swiped at him, but he pulled his head back, out of my reach.

“Are you out of your fucking mind?” He roared in my face. “Are you bloody mental?” His hands circled my wrists and he pinned them at my sides, effectively halting my movements.

Stuck between Sean and the wall, I suddenly couldn’t breathe. “Let me go.”

“The fuck I will.” He squeezed my wrists harder.

“Sean.” I shoved myself against him and he did the same thing, his face even closer than before. I could smell the whiskey on his breath, see the smattering of freckles across his nose and cheeks. God, he was a sight. “Fuck. Off.”

His eyes zeroed in on my mouth as I enunciated the words, nostrils flaring slightly. My breasts were pressed against his chest and I couldn’t move even if I wanted to, because suddenly we were staring each other eye to eye and I couldn’t look anywhere else. I was drowning the way I always imagine I would except this time I didn’t want it. I wanted no part of it.

“Don’t even think about it.” I whispered softly.

“Or what?” Sean’s remark felt snide and childish, something I would have happily said to him had he not leaned down and slid his lips over mine. It was a light touch, so soft I barely felt it. But I still gasped because it was Sean’s lips touching mine and I hated that I liked it so much.

At the sound of my sharp intake of breath, he smirked. “I fucking knew it.” And then he smashed his lips against mine, not letting up on the grip he had on my wrists.

Sean’s tongue pushed past my lips and slid against mine, weakening my reserve just a bit. He tasted good, his scruff scratched against the edges of my mouth and I reveled in it, loving how rough he felt.

He fucking engulfed my mouth, taking complete control of the kiss and demanding that I give him more. Forgetting the position we were in, he let go of my wrists in favor of cupping my face, wide palms against my cheeks.

I should have pushed him away, should have told him to leave, but the simple truth was that Sean Wallace knew how to kiss. He kissed like a man, held my face, stroked rough thumbs over my cheekbones, and swallowed my moans. He crowded me, stood so close our torsos were touching while we made out against the kitchen wall. Our tongues touched, teeth clashed, and when I sucked Sean’s bottom lip into my mouth the groan he let out was guttural. Animalistic.

But the noise was enough to bring me back to reality and I shoved my hands against his chest, pushing him away from me as hard as I could.

Sean stumbled back and caught himself on the counter. He was just as caught up as I was, his eyes wild, cheeks flushed red.

“You’ve got some nerve.” I cleared my throat and wiped my mouth, still tasting him on my tongue.

“Me?” He had the audacity to smile, still clearly fired up. “You were the one sucking my lip like it was my cock.”

My cheeks felt hot. The way he said cock with the accent and the smirk… it murdered me on the inside. It absolutely killed me how good it sounded. “You wish.”

“Every fucking night.” Sean stepped forward again. “I think about you sucking my cock every. Fucking. Night.”

His admission left me breathless. It felt like someone had knocked the wind out of me. The thought of Sean laying in bed at night and thinking about my mouth wrapped around his dick lit me up. I was hot everywhere.

“Sean-“

“Shut the fuck up.” He crowded me again, this time wrapping one arm around my back and pulling me against him. “For once in your life, please, Y/N, shut the fuck up.”

Cupping the back of my head, Sean kissed me again. I wanted to fight him, wanted to tell him to fuck off, but that would only prove him right. I really did have a problem with shutting the fuck up.

So, I kissed him back. I gave it my all, twining my arms around his neck and leaning against him. Sean tongue fucked my mouth as though he’d been dying to for years, and after his admission I wondered if he had. His body felt warm against mine and feeling his fingertips glide along the exposed area of my lower back made my knees nearly buckle.

He smiled against my mouth and before I knew it, Sean was sliding both hands down, gripping my hips and hoisting me in the air. My legs locked around his waist instantly, ankles crossing at the small of his back while he carried me through the kitchen.

Our mouths never stopped touching. I’d been waiting years to kiss Sean. I’d been waiting years to slap the fuck out of him as well, but right now the only thing I cared about was keeping our mouths fused together for as long as humanly possible. I felt drunk on him, on the taste of whiskey on his tongue.

I didn’t realize we were in the living room until Sean sat down on the couch with me straddling his lap. I took the opportunity to pull back slightly, his lips chasing my own, and I smiled at the way he leaned forward. I cupped the right side of his face, loving the way his scruff felt against my soft palm. He truly was beautiful, the red-brown hair and beard, the plump mouth that spent more time scowling than smiling. His freckles, God, when we were young I could have spent hours counting them.

And then there was that scar. That brutal, obvious scar. The trauma his body must have gone through made me sick and when I reached up to run my fingers over the jagged, raised skin, Sean was quick to grab my wrist in a bruising grip.

“Don’t touch me there.”

But I wanted to. So badly. But it was clear in his reaction, in the stiffness of his body, that he was serious. Of all the limits Sean DIDN’T have, touching the left side of his face was one of them and I had no choice but to respect it.

“Fine, how about you touch me then?”

It was all the incentive Sean needed and he flipped me onto my back, hovering over me with one hand braces on the back of the couch. Our eyes held as I slid my hands down his chest, his heartbeat pulsing under my hand as I slid lower, lower still until I gripped the hem of his shirt and yanked it up. He leaned back, only for a moment to rip the shirt off his head and send it flying.

Fair skinned with broad shoulders and a tapered waist, I itched to lick the V that disappeared into his waistband. He may have been injured, but he hasn’t been resting this last year. Sean didn’t have the body of a man who rested, he had the Jody of a man who was constantly pushing himself. He was strong in every sense of the word and it made me pathetically, desperately wet for him.

“Your turn,” he said against my lips, fingers playing under my shirt and sliding along my ribs. “You’re so fucking soft.” He whispered against the skin of my cheek.

Unable to help myself, I reached down to cup him through his sweats. Jesus… Christ. “You’re so fucking not.”

Sean laughed then, but I was dead serious. Either Sean was hiding a gun in his pants or his cock was just that fucking solid. And… thick. Even through his pants I could tell. I squeezed once and he let out a guttural groan, the sound sending shock waves between my legs. I wanted that sound on a loop for the rest of my life.

He pushed my shirt up and over my head, eyes zeroing in on my breasts. “Fuck me…” He trailed off, cupping one in his hand and giving a firm squeeze as he settled his eight between my legs. I could feel him against my clit even with barriers of clothing separating us.

“I always wondered what your nipples looked like.” He licked one gently and my back arched hard, my whole body tightening. “They’re so much better than my imagination.”

Sean fastened his mouth against my nipple and he sucked, flicking his tongue against the sensitive bud while I writhed underneath him. My nails scraped through his shirt hair, digging into his scalp and holding him against me. He said he had wondered what they would look like, but I spent the better part of a decade wondering what this would feel like.

Fuck, it felt good.

Sean’s hips ground against mine as he moved to my other nipple, hands roaming felt over my body, gripping my clothes thighs and sliding up my sides. Tracing along my collarbone, fingers tugging at the nipple that wasn’t getting any attention.

I felt like a horny teenager, aching to have him inside me as fast as humanly possible. My nails raked over his shoulders and he gave a delicious growl in return, leaning up and hovering over me again. 

“I’ve thought about your mouth on my cock for ages, but right now the only thing I want is to be buried inside you. That okay?”

I was modding before he even finished speaking. Fuck a blowjob, fuck foreplay. I didn’t need that with Sean, not now. Right now I just needed… connection. I was almost desperate for it and it fucking terrified me.

Sean leaned back on his knees and hooked his fingers into my pants, tugging them down in one swift move and leaving me completely naked and sprawled out in front of him. His eyes raked over me and my breath hitched in my throat. He could see… everything.

“Fuck me… this body was fucking made for me.”

I couldn’t help but laugh, wiggling my brows. “A bit cocky, yeah?”

“No.” His face was serious, eyes focused as they raked over my breasts, my hips, my legs, zeroing in on the spot between my thighs. Sean slid one long, thick finger over my slit and I cried out, my body stiffening. “I knew you’d be bald here.” He repeated the motion. “Been dying to see that tattoo on your thigh for ages.”

I’d gotten the tattoo when I was 20 and officially moved out of my parents house. It was one of those stupid young decisions, but I didn’t regret it. It was a snake that wrapped all the way around my right thigh, the snake’s tongue permanently engraved on my inner thigh like an invitation. Or a warning.

“And?” I asked inquisitively, rubbing a hand absentmindedly down my stomach.

“And I think this body was fucking made for me.”

His lips came crashing down on mine again and I wrapped my bare legs around his waist, loving the way his hip bones pressed into my thighs. He littered kisses over my cheekbone, an oddly sweet gesture, and then absolutely assaulted my neck, licking and biting and nipping at my collarbone until I cried out.

I reached down, yanking at his sweats and pushing them down his thighs with my heels. I was fucking dying for Sean Wallace to be inside of me, I couldn’t even breathe because I wanted him so badly. Needed him, needed to know what it was like to feel him.

“Sean.” I gasped as he braced one hand above my head, the other one gripping his cock and lining it up at my entrance. I gripped his bicep when he pushed the tip in, my nails digging half crescents into his skin.

“Sean.” I repeated his name, this time somewhat panicked because what the fuck was I doing? Was I really about to fuck him?

“Remember when I told you to shut the fuck up?” Sean’s eyes met mine and he gave one sharp, hard thrust and was suddenly inside me so deep I swore I could feel him in my cervix.

I didn’t even have time to gasp, my mouth fell open in a silent scream and Sean’s groan was something I’d think about for months. He was so deep I felt as though I couldn’t breathe, looking up at him completely frozen.

“Oh, fuck.” He finally breathed out. “That’s right, so good you can’t even speak.”

“I… hate you.” I finally managed, leaning up and catching his bottom lip between my teeth, tugging so hard he let out a groan of pain.

“You don’t hate me.” Sean pulled nearly all the way out before slamming back inside me, giving me no warning or time to breathe. But the yelp I let out was enough to make him smirk.

Cocky bastard.

Fine, I could play. Tightening my legs around his waist, I raked my nails down his back and watched his face change, jaw clenching tight. I licked his collarbone before sucking the skin there. I sucked hard and didn’t stop until I felt his fingers tangle in my hair and yank me back, forcing me to look at him.

“You’re not the fucking boss right now.” He practically growled the words, not letting up on the grip on my hair. He pumped in and out of me, my scalp pricking with a weird, pleasurable pain that left me moaning for more.

Sean’s thrusts got harder and I cried out when he hit that spot, so deep I could feel him everywhere. “Sean!” I cried his name, my breath hitching in my throat.

He let my hair go in favor of those perfect ducking fingers wrapping around my throat. His thumb pressed firmly under my jaw, I had no other choice but to look at him as he fucked me into oblivion.

“Fuck, I missed you.” He groaned, pressure on my throat tightening just a bit. “Thought about you every fucking day.”

I was instantly thrown back into reality. Everything that happened that day. The shooting. Sean coming back from the dead, all of it.

“Nope, stay with me.” Sean commanded, sensing my disconnect. He slowed his thrusts leaning down to lick at my lips lightly. It was oddly erotic and I found myself whimpering for more. “That’s it, relax for me.”

“I…” I started desperately. “I can’t. Sean-“

He squeezed my throat harder and I suddenly gasped, my air being cut off. “Relax.” His voice was oddly soothing. “You can still breathe.”

I shook my head.

He paused his thrusts, once again settling deep inside me with my legs splayed. “Yes, you can. I’m not squeezing that hard. Breathe.”

I took in a breath. It was shallow, but it was there. Letting it out slowly, I repeated the motion, Sean catching on and thrusting every time I exhaled. It all felt different like this, barely able to breathe and dripping wet onto the couch. I’d never wanted someone more and I was terrified, I’d never been “handled” the way he was handling me, treating me like I was his.

“Been waiting years to feel you come on my cock.” He groaned when he released my throat, leaning back on his heels and looking down at where we were connected. “God, you’re soaked. Made a proper mess all over me.”

I moaned because at that point words were not possible. My stomach felt tight, I felt like I was going to cry or laugh or scream. I felt like I was going crazy.

And then Sean rubbed his thumb over my clit, watching me jerk, and I knew I was done for. He did it again and again, giving me shallow strokes while he rubbed the little bundle of nerves that were certainly going to send me into a tailspin.

“Sean, please.” My back arched and I shouted, so fucking close, teetering on the edge.

“Come all over my cock so I can watch you lick it off after.”

My mouth fell open and I screamed his name, my orgasm hitting me like a ton of bricks. I squeezed my eyes shut, feeling Sean lean over me and wrap an arm around my back.

He picked up the pace while I clung to him, whispering in my ear about how he’d wanted it forever, how this was his, how I was his. It was overwhelming, yet I couldn’t bring myself to do anything other than rake my nails through his hair and whisper his name over and over again in his ear.

“Fuck.” Sean’s groan was long and low, stroking into me one, two, three more times before holding himself still, his climax hitting him as hard as mine hit me. 

His arms shook as he held himself over me, eventually collapsing onto my chest in a huff. We sat there silently, the sound of the waves crashing against the cliff side lulling us. Sean’s right cheek was pressed against my breast and his dick was still inside me. He was as close as he could possibly be but I somehow wanted him closer. I wanted to fucking absorb him into my body, keep him there forever and enjoy the weight of him on me.

“Sean?” I whispered, wondering if he was still awake.

“Hm?”

I ran my fingers lightly over the back of his neck and delighted in his shiver. “I’m really glad you’re not dead.”

He lifted his head then, searching my face for some sort of emotion, but I forced myself to remain stoic. It took Sean fucking my brains out for me to realize how much I missed him. How much I fucking loved him. But I couldn’t tell him that, I couldn’t give him that much power over me.

“Today was the first time in a year that I was thankful that bullet didn’t kill me.” Sean’s words were honest, quiet.

We didn’t say anything after that, we didn’t really need to. In that moment we were safe, together after years of being apart, and now all we had to do was wait for word from my father. Until then, I was going to enjoy whatever time I had with Sean and I prayed I would never have to pretend he was dead again.

[herstarburststories]

you and me and the devil makes three.

Pairings: Dean Winchester x reader, Demon!Dean Winchester x reader, past Lisa x Dean

Summary: Dean is a demon, he will take whatever he wants.

A/N: This got darker than I expected. I wanna make it clear I don't condone or engage with Dean's acts on this. This is my submission for @jawritter 's Make Me Cry Challenge. Congrats, honey! Hope you like it. Dividers by talesmanic and gif credit here

Prompt: I guess I should have been more like her.

Warnings: non consensual kissing, language, UNHEALTHY BEHAVIOR, non con (kissing and touching but no sex), dirty talk

Dean Winchester was a dreamer.

In the rawest way of the word, the meaning in the dust-collecting dictionaries and not the idealistic form. His eyelids shut close and, just like magic, Dean’s head was as haunted as the home he swore he’d never come back to in Kansas. The ghosts of the past, not ever so very friendly, coming to greet him at least three times per week. Sometimes they were happy films he could never starre in real life, his mom singing or a picnic with a lover saying that they needed to hurry up to get their kid at the baseball. The nightmares were sleepy visions of flesh and blood, mostly about his time underneath, Sam hurting, or his father spilling out his worst fears at his face. 

Maybe it was how the eldest Winchester’s brain compensated for the lack of bedtime tales and docile affairs growing up. The own way that his brittle soul discovered and molded not to let him collapse, or to always keep him on red alert. 

Good and bad deals are mostly a matter of which side you are betting your money on, really.

Because yeah, Dean did wake up feeling like he had shut his forest eyes briefly for twenty minutes instead of hours when he dreamed, but he also had never spent so long trapped in a better place. The green eyed hunter didn’t know which one was worse: the good dreams or the horrific ones. After all, he had went through all the atrocity and made it out alive, but the engulfed craving for light-hearted scenarios was suffocating. The hunter could never have it all. Trust him, he tried. Then, which is more agonizing: to have everything you ever wanted for a couple hours and have every scrap of it taken from you, or to undergo the calamity that accompanied your breaking point? 

Dean didn’t know, he didn’t even know what to tell Sam when he wondered what his brother had dreamt about to wake up sweating and screaming, all the light and stupid apple pie desires and the sharp brutality crawling out of the back of his mind. He made a joke, Megan Fox really liked knives, man. He kept it in, shoved down a good amount of alcohol, and mocked the worry of doing the lawn. Ready for another day. 

But now he was a demon, and apparently whatever he was made of - sulfur, cruelty, and black eyes under garden ones - wasn't worthy quiet reliefs in the middle of the night, or even frightening figments of memory. He became his worst dreams and all the dreams slipped beyond his reaches because of that. Demons, those unholy creatures, didn’t get the human peculiarities. You know what? Fine by him.

Who needed dreams when you don't need sleep, anyway? Even better: who needed dreams when you don't care about what you gotta do to put your greedy hands on the prize you had been eyeing for years? 

Dean Winchester was finally free. Free for the first time since he was a four years little boy who watched his mother burning with a terrorized expression, ironically mimicking the one Mary wore on the ceiling. His dad’s shouting for him to grab Sammy and run, take your little brother and run, echoing through years and years. There was never time for Dean, for his grief or his questions or whatever the child frozen in time under his rib cage could come up with. They said, stupid psychologists with their fancy degrees and malicious bartenders with a unfriendly grun under the counter who learned a little too much, everybody said that when someone was so traumatized as a kid, that person would tend to get frozen at that age. Therefore, how tremendously alleviating was to kill any reminiscing emotion of the whiny child he used to be. 

The kind of freedom that no traveler longed for; when one’s ruined and damaged enough not to care, and just take and take and take like hunger itself. Dean was an evil thing now, what else could he do but act on the figments of the worst intentions?

And feel so fucking good when doing that. 

‘’Where do you think he's going?’’ Your eyes raked over the street, darting between the asphalt under Baby’s wheels and Sam’s weary features.

‘’I don't know.’’ He sighed, attempting to organize his thoughts. Even as a demon, his brother wouldn’t just run miles and miles away by himself for no apparent reason. There had to be something you and Sam were missing out, some unseen clue or a hidden meaning. ‘’What the localizator says?’’

At least you had managed to put a tracker in his boots during your last encounter. Whatever Dean was thinking of starting there, you and Sam wouldn’t let him.

‘’Still Cicero, Indiana.’’ You sighed. Sammy furrowed his eyebrows, a long forgotten memory rising. ‘’What?’’

‘’We had a case there once years ago.’’ He explained, opting not to elaborate. Your and Dean’s relationship was troubled enough with his new self. Sam didn’t want to blow it up completely. His brother would need you once he came back to himself. The look on your face, though, reported how you weren’t buying his cheap excuses. The long haired hunter sighed. ‘’Did Dean ever tell you about that?’’

‘’No.’’

He stepped on the accelerator.

To find the woman was excruciatingly easy. The freckled demon couldn't believe he opened his computer many times and gave up before today. He glanced through the glass window and there she was, standing in all her glory with a body that seemed to forget how to grow old. Her tan skin still glowing, as appetizing as ever. Brown eyes shining so bright, tiny hands that always seemed to know where he wanted to be touched. She was laughing like there was no tomorrow, holding a glass of wine with one hand and her cellphone with the other, while her dark hair was falling so perfectly over her shoulder, like waves against the rocks in the sea.

Dean can’t wait to smell her again, to taste her, to prove her. His fingers were tingling, begging to touch what was his as he hopped off the car, walking towards the porch. He had been gone for a long time, but now he was back. 

He will destroy that quintessential, sequin woman so good.

The Winchester buckled in front of the white door, graced with the sound of the female giggle. Thin walls, he thought, those will be useful to make sure the neighbors know who’s back home. Her steps on the wood floor growing closer and closer as he heard a goodbye, probably aimed at whoever she was on the phone with. It was almost like the caramel skinned woman knew that whoever was on her doorstep wasn’t gonna be a hustled visitor. Or so the demon’s arranged mind said.

‘’Hey, Lis.’’ Dean’s voice lacked any cherishment as she opened the door, who would know that the absence of a soul wouldn't be gelid, just dry? As for her, Lisa’s face was drained of love. For all she was aware of, he was a stranger who knew her name. The male let out a chuckle empty of joy. She really didn’t remember, huh? ‘’Whoa. Cass really fucked up your head, huh? At least he did one thing right.’’

‘’Excuse me?’’ The man with dirty blonde hair and perfect teeth smelled like alcohol. She wasn’t having any of this tonight. ‘’Listen, I don’t know who you are and--’’

‘’Don’t worry.’’ He tranquilized her, although the lopsided grin on his lips held anything but good intentions. ‘’I’ll make you remember. I have a spell. You won’t believe how much you missed me.’’

The mocking laugh that left her lips utterly aggravated him. ‘’I don’t know you. Please leave or I’ll call the police.’’

Dean didn’t need a crowd for that part, a bratty woman in need of a firm hand should get a particular lesson. 

‘’You always liked a little cat and mouse.’’

Speaking of, the demon pushed the door wide open without any effort. Lisa jumped at the sudden move, every instinct inside her deciding that man was a threat and not some harmless wasted guy. Her body was quickly erect, thinking about ways to run and get help, but Dean swiftly pushed her to him and kicked the door closed-- her small figure collided to his chest.

Human savagery was cut in urban ways, molded to civilize the animalistic instincts. Imagine meat. A dead animal on a silver plate, and we couldn���t wait to chew every inch of it. We couldn’t wait to eat it, put that dead thing inside us and hope it’ll be enough to control the predatory hungry. Humans will always be animals, but so will be their rests that constructed the demons. 

Dean may not be a hunter anymore, but he’s still a predator who can't wait to taste his prey. He could small it, the fear in Lisa’s sweat making his mouth water. How much she tried to fight against him and scream other names when his was the only one he wanted her to need tonight. The resistance of a poor human barely made the monster shiver.

He closed his hands around her arms, throwing her against the wall like someone tossed an old toy away. There was no space for delicaly. In that moment, Dean Winchester was a tiger, a lion, the big bad wolf attacking the omega. Lis winced, her back hurting as her fibers. She couldn’t believe this was happening, that man was about to do something so terrible and disgusting to her in her own house, the place she was supposed to feel warm and safe. Why did he seem to know her? Why did he say she was gonna remember? Was he crazy, hallucinating, or drugged? Why was he so satisfied with how frightened her tiny body looked? How could she use all that information to somehow push him away?

‘’Let me go!’’ She demanded, her legs kicking the demon with ferocity. ‘’What’s wrong with you? LET ME GO NOW!’’

The brunette’s skilled body moved itself desperately, and the act of resistance only brought a hysterical laugh out of Dean. The wrong kind of goosebumps washed her skin, she had to run away for her life. This man was mad.

‘’FIRE! FIRE!’’ Lisa started to scream. Well-aware that people were most likely to come around and help a woman screaming if she said fire. ‘’THERE’S A FIRE. SOMEONE HELP ME!’’

One of his hands went to her neck, wrapping his fingers around it to shut her up. That was rubbing him off the wrong way. Lisa Braeden used to beg for his touch, how dared her not to want him anymore? Now that he was better, stronger, and thicker.

The brown eyed girl went quiet, probably scared by his brutal behavior. Dean smiled, a blood stained grin that carried mischief and pervertment. He licked the tears savoring the salty horror coming from her. Just like the day he was a vampire who almost gave in to drinking every drop of her luptuos blood. She may not remember but he did and he couldn't wait to get inside her, those tight walls squeezing his hard cock.

‘’You’re gonna do as I say, Lis. And I won't hurt you… Much.’’ He risped, crooked nose stroking her wet cheek. She whined. ‘’Don’t worry, honey. You loved it. Bet you’ll scream so much once I fuck you good.’’

‘’Please, don’t do it.’’ She begged as he coaxed his body against his. That man was stronger than her, she had no other choice but to plead to his human side. If only she knew.

‘’Begging already?’’ Dean lifted his head, smirking at her. Lisa just wanted to cry and close her eyes until everything was done. How could someone do that? ‘’I told you, don’t worry. I’m gonna make a lil’ spell that will give your memories back and you’ll remember everything. And then we’re gonna have so much fun, Lis.’’

His last murmur was finished with a kiss. A harsh, ruthless kiss. Actually, she wasn’t even sure if she could call it a kiss; teeth against each other, his vicious mouth pressed to her weakened lips, his tongue invading her like a robber and showing an unrequited dominance.

‘’Dean!’’ Your voice resonated stridently, louder than the door Sam had stormed open. You couldn’t believe what your eyes witnessed. ‘’Stop it!’’

Dean groaned, as if you and Sam were stepping on his territory. He simply turned his head to you two, not pulling away from Lisa. You couldn’t see her face, your boyfriend’s large shoulder and tall body covering her up. His eyes were still green, which set the scene in an even more atrocious light. 

Your thoughts were racing. How could he come to her, crave her so badly that he drove away miles and miles as a demon? He was supposed not to feel a thing. You prepared yourself for a cold man, not an obsessive one. Apparently, a heart hidden under the black smoke. Choose if it's a gift or Pandora's box. Sam told you their history. Of course he would want that and not you. Dean never left Lisa because he fell out of love for her, he was ripped out from her life. You were so pissed at yourself; how could you picture playing the woman in his veins? How stupid were you? He may be a demon guided by wants and not emotions, but what was love but an amount of outrageous desires laced up with some pretty words and flavored with dependency?

‘’Y/N and Sammy--’’

Love was the wrong word here. Anyway. Go head and unwrap it.

‘’Please help me!’’ Lisa’s voice came to life once more through her quiet cry. Dean hardened the hold around her throat, making her cough a little.

Suddenly, your body is frozen. That, whatever that is, whatever he’s doing to Lisa. It wasn’t love. She didn’t want it. When his frame moved to face you and Sam, you caught a glimpse of her face. She was petrified, her delicate features contorted in wrath and fear and beg for help.

‘’Quiet.’’ Dean howled, glancing at her rapidly before his eyes fell on you and Sam again. ‘’You two are such killjoys. I told you to let me go.’’

You couldn’t believe what you were witnessing. You wanted to puke your guts out.

‘’And what? Kill your ex? Or do something even worse to her?’’ You elicited with disgust.

‘’She’ll come around eventually. Just playing hard to get. You know how frisky women are.’’ The corner of his lips curved into a barbaric grim, one of his hands touching Lisa’s cheek. The victim winced at the touch. ‘’Besides, I’m not just gonna take her. I’ll make her remember and she’ll want me.’’ He shrugged, unbothered by the horrified looks of everyone in the room. ‘’Are you really worried about Lis, Y/N? Or are you just jealous that I didn’t go for you?’’

‘’Enough, Dean.’’ Sam groaned, holding the gun up. It felt oily. ‘’Let her go. And come with us.’’

The demon tossed the brunette away with a simple sleight of hand, pulling his sleeves up with a marred beam. His eyes switched from starry green to black, showing his true facette. It was a peculiar relief. It wasn’t Dean. It wasn’t Dean. It wasn’t Dean.

Yet, Dean’s gruff voice said in a twisted playful tone:

‘’Come get me, Sammy.’’

Dean Winchester was cured. For most people, to heal is to let go or to learn with things. In the doctor’s case, healing is leaving a bruise to cover up a wound. Everyone believed the war started and ended, and that was it. But when something so ravaging is gone, you gotta deal with the trauma.

He was a trauma. Cured from a sickness, drowning in sorrow and waves of woe. All the worst things Dean ever did, he knew now, weren’t to himself or to the monster he so proudly killed. His unspoken acts were against the people he cared about.

The hunter never thought his hands, his bruised and tough hands could ever hurt Lis. The woman who was his lifeline when Sam died, who allowed him to be a father and live in his dreamland of suburban life. All she ever did was to love him, and what did she get for it?

He was disgusted with himself. What almost did to her was enough to hunt him and make him sure he was going back to hell, very deserving this time. Threating to do that to a woman, and enjoy it… Dean couldn’t bear driving into memories. He was selfishly glad he didn’t remember about that, only Sam’s explanation was enough: he went to Lisa, he kissed her without her consent, and Sam and you stopped him going any further. Would his unscrupulous, demon self go ahead? He was too scared to wonder, even though his brother said that he apparently had a spell to make Lis remember and wasn’t planning on just taking her. A forced kiss was disgusting enough. He just wished Sam had put a bullet in his black eyes right there.

You walked in the bathroom that you once shared with the eldest Winchester

She was everything he ever wanted, all the suburban dreams and acceptance of hunter reality without being in it. Lisa loved him completely and you could only love him sideways-- you never wanted to be a mom, or to have a family or live in a suburb. Those were valid goals, just not yours. You thought you and Dean were on the same page about it, but this other side, not only the pervert demon but the domestic man, hadn’t been shown to you until a couple days ago. Sam had cured his brother, his dirty nature washed away with holy water, but you couldn’t help the bruises that came from the dog days. Lisa had her memory erased by Cass again, you didn’t have the same unfair luxury.

‘’Dean.’’ You said, making him look up at you. Bags under his eyes and wrinkles more evident than ever. ‘’We need to talk.’’

He sighed and wiped his face. ‘’Y/N, I don’t want to talk right now.’’

‘’You never do.’’ You scoffed, gaining an incredulous glance from him. ‘’I know that what happened was disgusting and sick and the worst thing you could ever do, but we need to talk.’’

He took a deep breath. ‘’What do you wanna talk about?’’

‘’You went to her.’’ You stated as a lawyer in front of a jury. Dean furrowed.

‘’What?’’

‘’Lisa. You went to her.’’ When the arrow hit someone so damaged, it was like an animal with his teeth there that wouldn't let go. Yeah, his human soul wasn't the same brittle glass as before but it lingered in his demon self in the shape of delusion, and it was distorted by whatever he was made of, violence and darkness, and turned into something disgusting. ‘’You love her.’’

‘’Love?’’ The word burned his tongue, Dean didn’t think he had the right to ever use it again. ‘’I was a demon, Y/N. I didn’t love or feel anything. What I did--’’

‘’You didn’t do anything.’’ You interrupted, loyal as a soldier.

‘’I forced a kiss on her and wanted to bring her memories back to have sex with her. That’s disgusting and I did half of that.’’ He pointed out aggitadly, plump lips moving fast and voice deeper. ‘’It wasn’t love. Leaving her years back was love.’’

You didn’t miss how Dean didn’t even dare to say her name. ‘’So you don’t think about her? Not even once?’’

He scoffed humourless. ‘’Are you kidding me?’’

‘’I guess I should have been more like her.’’ You hugged yourself, glancing at the wall. You didn’t want to cry in front of him. Not again, not for another woman. That wasn’t even your cicatrix to ache. 

‘’Y/N, what the fuck are you talking about?’’ The fully green eyed man raised to his feet, glancing at you with disbelief. He couldn’t face how messed up it was. ‘’I can’t believe you are jealous of what happened. I thought I was the broken one here.’’

‘’I’m not her.’’ You two shared it, the glance that only two women who were hurt by the same man could. You both understood that when he got inside you, it was like the syringe in an eutanasia. Once you were happy because you loved him, now you were scared and not so sure this was what you wanted. ‘’I’m not her and you knew it. When you became just instincts and selfish and did whatever you wanted, you didn’t come to me. You came to her.’’

‘’I hurt her.’’

The next words fly out of your mouth, as weak and totaled as you felt: ‘’Why didn’t you hurt me?’’

‘’This is the most unhealthy shit we ever went through.’’ Dean’s right. You have her expression mesmerized on your brain. Dean was the man on top of her, teaching her how to hate. How to fear. You can’t trust yourself. ‘’I can’t believe you.’’

‘’Neither can I.’’ You were so sick. How ravaged and annihilated one had to be to wish to be a demon's object of obsession? To get jealous that another woman almost died in the arms of a beast that cried his blood out once he came back to being a man and saw what he had done? ‘’I hate it. I hate feeling like this. I was there and I saw how scared of you she was, how all she wanted was to push you away and run because she was so disgusted--’’

‘’Stop.’’ He groaned, but it came out more like a whine than anything. ‘’It wasn’t me. I would never hurt Lis. I would never force her to do anything! I--’’

You gave him a sad smile. ‘’You love her.’’

‘’I love you.’’ Dean approached you, fumbling in despair to fix yet another thing his hands destroyed. If Rome was built in ruins, he was a kingdom. You pulled away before his tough hands landed on you.

‘’But you love her too.’’ The hunter stopped on his spot, unable to answer. ‘’I ruined myself for you, Dean. I can’t-- I won’t do that again. You are right. This is unhealthy. The fact that you’ve been pining for her for so long, pushing down those feelings to the point they are twisted into something so cruel and disgusting. You need help.’’ What kind of ugly you have to have inside you for a monster to love you? And, even worse, what kind of sickness you have trapped, written in your blood to want it to be spilled out in his name? ‘’You really are venom. If this is how you love, it’s scary as fuck.’’ When you loved a broken man, you were never sure if his shattered pieces would glisten or cut your hand once the light came in. Here’s your answer. His parts crawled inside you through pulled up scars, scraping your insides to make into ruins, but you never liked Rome much. You had to be better than that. ‘’Goodbye, Dean.’’

He couldn’t bring himself to go after your steps.

Once again, it’s the kind of freedom no traveler wants. When you lost it all and didn't have any person or place to cling to, when you had to leave because you were becoming the girl you swore you’d never leave, when you walked away willingly without a map.

Still, it was all you had. You’d make a good use of it. You’d be okay. No more ugly emotions or sentiments that made you unrecognizable. No more knives that cut both ways, or situations so complicated you weren’t sure where your morals could rely on.

You’d be okay, healthy, and happy.

You’d be okay.

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