#that last one is my mom's fault ahahahaha

[la-cocotte-de-paris]

Love how my music taste is either french music from the 60s, punk and goth music, or horslips

[technofinch]

for the background ask game - mulligan ❓✨🍑🗑️

❓ - Estranged family/relatives they've never met

"Estranged" is a strong word but he's never been super close with his parents, after his dad died he only went back to see his mother once. She sometimes talked about taking him to see her relatives in Quebec, but they never had the time/ money. I think if he spent any time with his cousins they would get into. So much trouble (and now i kinda wanna see it)

✨ - Children (current or future)

Ahahahaha <3 Mulligan has a notoriously fucked up relationship with Jameson, the only one of his kids that he's actually met. He feels bad about it in like 7 different ways but is honestly glad that he wasn't involved in the child raising in any way. He would also rather not meet any of his other kids, but the gm has threatened a mariner's revenge/boy named sue situation and I would LOVE to see it

🍑 - Notable flings

There's Samantha, Jameson's mom, who didn't particularly want a child but was married to a high ranking military officer and needed the divorce to be his idea. (There's a lot of reasons Jameson turned out kinda fucked don't worry about it)

There's also Catherine, a fellow marine who slept with mulligan twice because her wife didn't really want kids (the first one was raised by their relatives). That was also a fucked up relationship but honestly that one isnt mulligan's fault

🗑️ - "It's complicated"

JAAACK jack halderson my beloved first mate badass engineer accounting degree non binary aromantic bestie. They have the weirdest fucking Thing with mulligan bc mulligan is stupid and thinks it's improper to develop feelings for "subordinates" even tho jack literally slept with every member of the last ship they were on INCLUDING the captain. And jack likes that mulligan isn't trying to sleep with them but also kinda wishes he'd Figure His Shit Out so they can get Real weird with it. But basically mulligan cares about and trusts jack more than anyone else in the universe. And jack claims that they only stick around bc mulligan owes them money. He keeps paying them back but they just gaslight him into thinking he didn't. So they're kind of extorting him but it's only bc they're being tsundere about it. Also mulligan physically put himself between jack and an attacking xenomorph bc he caaares. Jack is literally the only person he trusts with his ship. Also everyone assumes they're fucking and mulligan gets confused and flustered every time. AND ALSO when we were stuck on a backwater scrap heap with everything gone to shit & mulligan trying desperately to relapse into alcoholism, all of the other employees and stuff were absolutely terrified and refused to give him any sort of booze and he thought that Julio had talked to them (bc he's the ships surgeon and new to the crew and a huge bitch a real stickler) but NO we find out later that it was JACK who went around threatening people in order to keep mulligan safe and sober <3

If you can't tell jack is the love of my life and I would do anything for them and it's extra funny bc me and the gm were explicitly planning on NOT giving them any sort of romantic/sexual tension and then. It happened anyway. The unbreakable bond of a captain and first mate

EDIT i didn't even MENTION jackbox nights (mulligan and jack have an underground fight club that's basically just the two of them beating the shit out of each other. To blow off steam and definitely not any sort of intricate ritual)

[howlingday]

Ruby: So, what are you guys getting?

Blake: I'm having fried fish.

Yang: Ooh, same! I've been craving something fried.

Weiss: I'll stick to the salad, thank you.

Nora: Boring! I'm getting the steak!

Ren: I will also have the salad.

Jaune: I'll get the chicken tenders.

Pyrrha: I'll have the pork sword.

Ruby: I'll have... the grilled chicken.

Yang: Wait, what'd you say, Pyrrha?

Pyrrha: I said pork slices.

Yang: No, no, you didn't. She didn't, right?

Blake: She didn't.

Weiss: Stop trying to force your perversions onto others.

Yang: What perversions? She clearly said pork sword!

Pyrrha: No, I said pork cuts.

Yang: You changed it again!

Pyrrha: Yang, are you alright?

Ruby: I think she's a little tired from working out with Jaune today.

Ren: Oh, you two worked out?

Jaune: Yeah. Sorry we didn't invite you.

Ren: It's fine. Her workouts get too intense for me, anyway.

Nora: I wanna work out with you guys!

Yang: Nora, the last time we worked out, you almost put us in the hospital.

Nora: Pssh! Not my fault you're all so weak.

Weiss: Oh, the waitress is coming.

Waitress: Hello! Are we ready to order, or would you like to start with drinks?

Ruby: I'm ready to order. Are you guys?

Jaune: I'm ready.

Pyrrha: So am I.

Weiss: Is anyone not ready? ...Very well. I'll have the Queen's Salad, with Hundred Isle's dressing. To drink, just ice water.

Waitress: Of course. Anyone else?

---------------------------------------------------

Waitress: Alright, I'll be back with your drinks and your meals. (Leaves)

Yang: ...So about what Pyrrha said.

Jaune: Yang, could you please let it go?

Yang: Not until she admits to what she said.

Jaune: What did dhe say?

Yang: She said, "pork sword."

Jaune: Okay, so?

Yang: Huh?

Jaune: So what if she did? It's not like it hurt anyone. It's not an actual pork sword.

Yang: ...What?

Jaune: What?

Yang: What do you mean by, "it's not an actual pork sword"?

Blake: Jaune, do you know what a pork sword is?

Jaune: Yeah, it's like what Weiss has.

Weiss: EXCUSE ME?!

Jaune: What, is it not?

Nora: Oh, this I gotta hear.

Weiss: I do not have a... thing like that!

Jaune: Sure you do. You whipped it out in Professor Port's class, remember?

Weiss: What?! When?! How?! I-!

Jaune: You even killed that Boarbatusk with it.

Weiss: ...Are you talking about my rapier?

Jaune: Yeah, your pork sword.

Weiss: STOP CALLING IT THAT!

Nora: Hahahaha! Pork sword! Ahahahaha!

Pyrrha: You're thinking of a pig sticker, Jaune.

Jaune: Wait, they're aren't "pork swords"?

Yang: No, a pork sword is something WAY different!

Jaune: What is it, then?

Yang: Huh? Oh, uh, well...

Blake: It's a euphemism for penis.

Jaune: ...Oh, that explains a lot, actually.

Ruby: Explains what?

Jaune: When I was younger, my parents were in their bedroom, and I got up to get some water. On my way back to my room, I heard Dad say to Mom, "Be careful with the ol' pork sword, dear."

Pyrrha: Snrk! Jaune!

Yang: AHAHAHAHAHA!

Ruby: Geez...

Weiss: Why would you tell us something like that?

Nora: Hehehe! Pork sword...

Ren: One quiet night at dinner, that's all I ask for...

Waitress: I'm back with your drinks. You all look like you're having fun.

[bouwrites]

Maribat March 2020 Prompt: Fake Dating

Week 4, Day 5.

Maribat March 2020 Calendar.

Day 1: Sweetheart’s Dance, Day 4: Roommates, Day 6: Time Travel.

Ao3.

1964 words. Story under read-more.

“Hey, Marinette! My beautiful, clever, resplendent bestest friend ever!” Jon grins as best he can into the camera, watching as Marinette’s face quickly morphs from happy to see him to exasperated. Of course, he knows he’s being obvious, and he can tell from the look on her face that she’s going to call him out on it. He hopes for just a little bit of time instead of jumping right into this as his greeting, but… well, he may as well get to business. “So… guess who’s dumb?”

Marinette arches her brow. “Damian?”

Jon can feel his cheeks warm as he reluctantly shakes his head.

“Oh, no, Jon. What did you do this time?”

He coughs awkwardly. “So, uh, I was like, flirting with Damian a bit an-”

“Excuse me. Why, exactly, would you flirt with Damian Wayne?”

“Because it’s fun!” Jon protests. Marinette’s expression tells him all he really needs to know about her position on the idea. “It’s not like he’s ever going to notice! He just gets confused and does that funny scrunching thing with his nose.” Jon scrunches up his nose, pointing to it as he makes a silly face.

Marinette starts cackling. “He does not do that!”

“Close enough! It’s funny! And his brothers think it’s funny, too, so they’re not going to tell him I’m doing it on purpose, so I’m safe! Or, I was, anyway.”

“Oh, dear, who caught you?”

“Dad.” Jon covers his face. “Honestly, I’m not sure if I’m more terrified of him finding out I’m bi, or of him being all for it and trying to set me up with Damian.” Marinette just continues cackling, like a traitor. “It’s not funny! Dad’s bad enough, but do you know what Bruce would do if he thought I liked Damian?!”

“Ahahaha! I’m sorry, Jon, but this so your own fault! What did you expect when you flirted with Damian Wayne?”

“I just thought I’d mess with him a bit! Just have a bit of fun at his expense after all the stuff he’s done to me! I didn’t think Dad was going to eavesdrop! Stop laughing!”

“I’m sorry! I’m sorry, I just… that’s hilarious!”

“Marinette!!!” Jon whines. “Fine! Get your laughs. I may as well tell you how I made it worse, now, so you don’t have to stop before you start again.”

“Oh, heavens, there’s more?”

“I don’t need this!”

“Sorry! Sorry! Tell me! What’d you do?” Marinette is grinning ear to ear and on the edge of her seat. Jon tries not to take personally just how much she’s enjoying his suffering.

“So, uh Dad pulled me aside to ask about what I was saying to Damian, right? And I sort of panicked?”

“What did you say?”

“I, uh… I kind of blurted out that I have a girlfriend and ran away.”

Marinette honest to goodness snaps her knee. She’s wheezing by the time she finally says, “Jon, you didn’t.”

“Don’t judge me! I was panicking!”

“Isn’t being a superhero supposed to, I don’t know, teach you how to work under pressure?”

Jon covers his face. “Shut up! I’m seriously freaking out right now! He knows I lied. I’m sure Damian does, too.”

“Oh my god. Damian heard you? That’s even better! Ahahahaha!”

“Mari, please!”

Marinette valiantly fights her giggles, though her success leaves a bit to be desired. “I’m sorry. I’m so sorry. This is serious. Hilarious, but serious. I’ll try to contain myself.”

Jon slouches over, hanging his head. “I seriously don’t know what to do. I’m not ready to have that talk with Dad! And I definitely don’t want to talk to Damian about it.”

Marinette sighs the last of her giggles away. “Well, why not? What are you afraid of?”

“You mean, aside from coming out to my family? Maybe Damian or Dad or Bruce or, God forbid, Mom misinterpreting something and trying to play matchmaker?”

Marinette opens her mouth, shuts it, and then shrugs. “That’s fair. You know your parents are going to be cool about it, though, right?”

Jon fidgets nervously. “I mean, Dad was raised in rural Kansas, Marinette. I’m not really… confident.”

“Jon, your grandparents raised a literal alien. I guarantee you they won’t mind if you kiss some cute boys.”

“Those are completely unrelated, but thank you. That does make me feel a little better. I’ve just… never talked to them about it before. I mean, they seem okay with the other heroes and stuff but it never really gets brought up? I don’t know how they’d feel about someone in their family being bi.”

Marinette gets a sly grin on her face. “Aside from your dad’s obvious crush on Bruce, you mean?”

“Marinette! No!” Jon covers his face. “I was being serious!”

“Ahaha, sorry, sorry. I’m only teasing.” Marinette says. “But alright, so, what are you going to do about your dad?”

“Ugh, I don’t know! I was hoping you’d have some… ancient queer wisdom, or something?”

“Alright, let me think. Well, you told them you have a girlfriend, right?”

Jon frowns. “Yeah. But there’s no way Dad didn’t notice how I was freaking out, and even Damian isn’t that oblivious. They know I don’t.”

“Don’t you, though?” Marinette leans conspiratorially closer to the camera.

“Uh… no?”

“Don’t you?”

“Mari, I don’t understand what you’re trying to tell me.”

Marinette giggles. “If it’s for you, I’ll be your beard. You can tell them I’m your girlfriend, then we can break up later.”

Jon surges up in his seat. “Seriously? You’d do that for me? Oh, Marinette, thank you so, so much! You’re the sweetest, awesomest, coolest, bestest… augh, I don’t know! You’re the best person in the world!”

“I’m aware.” Marinette chuckles. “But mostly, you deserve the chance to come out when you’re ready. I’ve got your back.”

There are few people in the world with the ability and courage to lie directly to Superman’s face. Jon is almost more terrified of Marinette than he is of the potential consequences of this going wrong when she proves that she is, without a doubt, one of those people.

He expects it, though Marinette doesn’t tell him exactly when she’s coming, when she appears in the watchtower, transformed as Ladybug, with half-amused fury. Some of the loitering heroes wisely move out of her path, and Jon blanches when she makes a beeline for him. “Seriously, Super Boy?” She stops in front of him, hip cocked an eyebrow raised as she looks at him with that scary, scary anger. “Not a week into it and you announce it to your dad? I thought we agreed not to tell anyone!”

Robin openly smirks at Jon. Despite not knowing the details, he can tell Jon is in trouble and that’s enough to laugh about. Jerk. And several other heroes are gathering around to watch, as well, including Superman. At least she has good timing. “I, uh…” Jon starts. “I’m sorry?”

“You should be! Ugh, you are so lucky I love you! I should’ve known you couldn’t keep it a secret.”

“I… well… it was only Dad!”

Ladybug rolls her eyes. “Well it’s too late now. May as well stop the charade.”

Jon carefully brightens up, an expression he practiced in the mirror a thousand times just for this. “Really? Just… open?”

“Yeah. We still on for tomorrow?”

Jon grins. “You bet!”

“Great.” Ladybug grabs his collar and pulls him down to quickly kiss his cheek. “Still mad at you, but I’ve got a lot of other stuff to deal with right now, so I’ll see you later.”

Despite himself, Jon feels his cheeks burn when she kisses him. “Y-yeah. Later.” Ladybug takes off, leaving the rest of the watchtower in her wake, including Jon staring after her, thinking, God, she is so cool.

He’s only broken out of his reverie by Robin’s comment. “Wait, so you were telling the truth about having a girlfriend? And it’s Ladybug?!”

Jon blushes but smiles smugly at his friend. “Yup. Why would I lie about that?”

Robin scowls and turns back to his work, leaving Jon to chuckle in relief. One down. Now, just… He turns hesitantly to face his dad. One to go.

It has to be believable, Marinette says, which is why they agree that they only started dating last week. No one will believe they can hide it long. Or, at least, that Jon could hide it long. It’s also why Marinette engineers this whole thing in the watchtower, right where Superman and Robin can both see, because if he wasn’t supposed to tell then he has reason for his panic when his dad asked him about flirting with Damian. Even if it does make him out to be a bit of a jerk.

He’ll take it, happily, if it makes the whole “flirting with Damian” thing ancient history.

The lecture his dad gives him about pissing off his secret girlfriend is totally worth it. And when Jon tells him the story Marinette came up with behind why she wanted it quiet in the first place, he buys it.

Jon leaves the watchtower that day feeling like a kid in a candy store.

Their first date is planned for appearances. Marinette is already one of Jon’s close friends, so it’s really not all that awkward. They just go out, eat lunch together, and hang out for the day. It’s a lot of fun!

The second date is planned knowing that Damian is stalking them. Damian has been giving him curious looks, recently, so maybe he’s trying to confirm that they’re actually going on dates. Jon is affectionate with Marinette, of course, but most of their time together in person is in the watchtower and he and Marinette both try to be more professional there, so Jon can see where the suspicion comes from.

Still, Jon doesn’t much appreciate being watched. Marinette whispers in his ear to remind him that they have to reinforce their ruse, and this will get Damian off their backs for at least a while, so Jon reluctantly agrees and pretends to not know his friend is there.

They hold hands, but past that for the most part they just keep doing what they always do. They joke and laugh and goof around. At one point, Marinette cuddles into his side and Jon can’t help the little stutter in his heart.

Little things like that – their fingers interlaced, her tucked under his arm, soft lips on his cheek for just a moment – it’s different. And it’s a lot. It makes his gut go sideways and upside down like he’s falling instead of flying. Jon returns the gestures, reminding himself that tricking Damian is worth any weird feelings in his chest.

Their third, fourth, and fifth dates they don’t bother wondering if someone is watching them. They’re pretty sure someone does at some point, but they don’t particularly care. They just act like they’ve got Damian on their tails regardless.

On the sixth date, they’re watching the stars from rural Kansas, not quite close enough to anywhere to have to worry about anyone catching them, not even the folks who live out here. There’s no need to keep up appearances – really, there’s no need to be out here at all – and yet some confusing part of him is telling him to make a show. He looks over at her, splayed out haphazardly, limbs crossed over his own, as the stars gaze into her eyes, and he wonders if he can convince either of them that they need to cuddle closer, that he needs to hold her hand to his lips or to sit up and lean in and…

He can’t. He can’t do that. But he can dream.

On the seventh date, he realizes he wants that dream.

[erintoknow]

got tagged by @curiousstrawberry​ for this oc interview meme and i’ve got some free time before i crash for a nap so... tagging other people... um.... @frozenabattoir​, @queenofthieves​, @ratkingkisses​?

(art by xan @saltypeepo​)

name ➔ “... um, Ariadne Becker?”

are you single ➔ “Haha what. Oh geez, um. I – I um... guess... not...?”

are you happy ➔ “That’s, um. That’s a loaded question. W–what are the uh, the parameters? Like... how often? Long? When? What – what does this even mean. Fuck.”

are you angry ➔ “Look, just – Everything is f–f–fine. Okay? D–don’t worry about it.”

are your parents still married ➔ “I um... I don’t think she ever married...? But I – I haven’t seen her in a... wow, in a long time. Unless um... you mean, like... biologically? That... Um... Let’s uh– let’s say th–that I don’t know them.”

NINE FACTS

birthplace ➔ “...okay. Um. It was very hot. And... dry. If you... s–snuck out at night, you could... lay back and look up at the stars in the sky. Pick out the, um, the c–constellations. N–nothing else about it is... worth m–missing.”

hair color ➔ “Red?”

eye color ➔ “...green.”

birthday ➔ “Oh no. N–not this again. Um. M–march... 20th? Or... really, um, what ever, uh, what ever the first day of Spring is, that – that year.”

mood ➔ “What? ‘Facts,’ ‘mood’? Mood fact. I don’t – I’m sorry. I–I–I don’t understand the question. Oh god.”

gender ➔ “...excuse me?”

summer or winter ➔ “Spring.”

morning or afternoon ➔ “P–please don’t make me get up early. I’m – I’m begging you.”

EIGHT THINGS ABOUT YOUR LOVE LIFE

are you in love ➔ “That’s – I – um – uh...y–you’re gonna make me say it...?”

do you believe in love at first sight ➔ “Haha, um. That would be... pretty cliché r–right? Someone who, uh, who did that. That’d be uh, that be crazy. “

who ended your last relationship ➔ “I don’t – last? There was a last!?”

have you ever broken someone’s heart ➔ “I mean – I’ve... broken people’s bones. But... hearts? Uh... I feel like, um, like some of these questions are a little accusatory...? J–julia... did you write these?”

are you afraid of commitments ➔ “Haha. Ahahahaha. Hahahahahahaha. Me...? A–afraid?”

have you hugged someone within the last week? ➔ “.........yes.”

have you ever had a secret admirer ➔ “Wait. If – if they’re secret how would I – how would I know...? Oh. Wait. Telepathy. Um. I–I–I don’t want to think about this.”

have you ever broken your own heart? ➔ “Julia y–you fucking pendeja, you did write these d–d–didn’t you...!”

SIX CHOICES

love or lust ➔ “...love?”

lemonade or iced tea ➔ “Iced tea makes me, um, Makes me sick, uh... later.”

cats or dogs ➔ “...oh geez. I miss Cat.”

a few best friends or many regular friends ➔ “I don’t – I don’t think I’ve ever had more than like... two friends at once before. Ever?”

wild night out or romantic night in ➔ “....it depends.”

day or night ➔ “Night.”

FIVE HAVE YOU EVERS

been caught sneaking out ➔ “...yes.”

fallen down/up the stairs ➔ “It–it–it was one time! One time!!!”

wanted something/someone so badly it hurt? ➔ “...fuck.”

wanted to disappear ➔ “...um.”

FOUR PREFERENCES

smile or eyes ➔ “S–smile I guess? By, um, by default? I just... People looking. Their eyes... I – I hate it.”

shorter or taller ➔ “...what? Why does that m–matter?”

intelligence or attraction ➔ “I... What? I don’t understand?”

hook-up or relationship ➔ “Hook-up!? Just – what? W–what kind of girl do you th–think I am!?”

FAMILY

do you and your family get along ➔ “...I um. I haven’t heard from my uh, I guess ‘honorary’ mom in like... eleven, no twelve, years? It’s... It’s my fault, really. I... I messed up.”

would you say you have a “messed up life” ➔  “.................N–next question.”

have you ever ran away from home ➔ “Y–yeah.”

have you ever gotten kicked out ➔ “...yeah.”

FRIENDS

do you secretly hate one of your friends ➔ “I – I thought I did. Maybe. But I was... I was wrong. I was... so, so, so wrong...”

do you consider all of your friends good friends ➔ “As opposed to... ‘bad’ friends...?”

who is your best friend ➔ “F–fuck you Julia, you’re already smug enough.”

who knows everything about you ➔ “Damnit Julia!!!”

[01010010-posts]

— our love is a starred staircase; i jump two steps at time but you can only go one by one.

i. → becoming human. “and this is hen.” “mhh, very interesting.” “.... i hate you.” he unwillingly cracks up, slightly turning to the other side because, honestly, he’s not that bastard (maybe) “sorry–” he bites his lips, not wanting to be exposed, gosh, he really is such a bastard “it’s just that– well, how do i put it.... learning a new language from scratch, without any download, it actually is difficult.” there is it again, that devilish sneer “i swear to god, love” “okay, okay. i’ll say it. but please don’t be mad. it’s your handwriting. it’s hard to read. it’s so ugly you could be a doctor.” he’s doing his best, he vows, but since being deviant his sense of humour has highly been affected. you lose no time in emerging onto his jolly demeanor and begin smacking him “you’re not being fair! ouch– please! you promised to not get angry!” he refuges his hair behind his knuckles, while still enjoying taunting you “i’ve spent the past hour memorizing things with you and that’s how you repay me! and i didn’t promise that!” he lets you tease him for too little, and without even realizing it you’re in his grasp, frozen, sweetly pouting, a mouth that he kisses “you’re right, here’s your reward, teacher.” “did you at least learn something?” “ohh, yes, a wonderful lot. i learnt how to kiss you here, here, and here.” and saying that he follows his preaching, teaching you where he adores to leave lovebites. ii. → pieces of you between the pages. it’s not his fault. sometimes night shifts happen. but he hates them abysmally. why? because, as much as he gets bored when you’re sleeping, he can’t help but worship those endless hours he has available, basking in the lone presence of your body, recording each minute thing, with such limited time on this earth, then, he.... but tonight is a little different. he phoned you for a while (you had to force him to hang up), assured that you finished eating at a normal pace, didn’t steal too many snacks from the cupboard, watched something nice and got to bed at a reasonable hour. yes. he’s not your mom but he likes to remind you that his way of loving is varied. of course, soft words and i love yous and invisible smooching were not absent at the roll-call. he’s not only your mom after all. ahh, almost forgot. this is just routine. the deviant thing tonight is: a book. your book. your favourite book. you probably forgot it in his bag. but it’s not very important right now. he picks it up, the spine slightly visible from the black fabric incorporating it. it’s an ordinary book. he sits, and since he’s kinda alone, nobody prevents him from propping his long legs on his desk, relaxing in his leather ergonomic chair. reading a bit won’t hurt. the content, the plot, it’s not really important. what he’s actually reading is: your underlined parts. you normally don’t do that, you said one time. it ruins the paper, you said. yet in this one, this one, so important to you, you used graphite pencil to emphasize. mostly, about love. iii. → doing nothing. “i won’t stand for this!” he huffs in a bit of what appears to be the middle of an angry and annoyed tone. his arms hurriedly coming into a fold around his chest, he doesn’t really know how to react. you try to hide your benevolent smirk, an android this cute shouldn’t exist “why? you’re already doing it.” “that’s– that’s because it was your turn to choose what we should be doing this evening.” “so you’re peacefully protesting?” you urge him, now holding back snorting is almost impossible “.... kinda.” and at this point you’re nearly choking on your own laugh “you’re making fun of me?!” he finishes his retort and darts, indignant, sitting upright on the couch. so so so sorry but you have to cover your face with your digits and turn towards the other side because, honestly, you’re not that bastard as to burst into laughter in front of him (maybe) “gosh– it’s– it’s– pfft– i apologize i’m– ahahAHAHA NO PLEASE NO!” while you were, indeed, mocking him you lowered your guard and him, a weapon, took that as his advantage “PLEASE BABY” “ohh, we’re begging before i even get serious? my my, you’re quite weak.” his fingers carefully threading between your ribs, stroking your skin in a delicate manoeuvring until he’s satisfied with his revenge “you’re terrible.” he grins, both short of breath from being such imbeciles “i am.” he gently lowers down your crouched shape, half on the sofa the rest on the floor, and kisses your reluctant cheek “what’s the plan, then?” “don’t think i’ve changed my mind. i don’t want to do anything. i want to continue until i reach absolute zero.” iv. → your things // your place. he doesn’t need to shower, nor to bathe, and if he indulges in those activities it’s just to bond, he assures you. but suddenly it’s not so credible when you, wanting to surprise him, come back to your place without telling, sneakily unlock the threshold and tiptoe to search for him to no avail. you’re about to open your mouth and shout, to see some sort of shocked reaction, maybe a jump from the scare, but he’s not in the living room. and not in the compact kitchen. and not in the bedroom either. then, where could he be? you silently ponder, a tap of your shoe asking if he left to go shopping. but you know, the fridge is not that empty. could he be....? without letting out a sound you enter the bathroom, certainly not expecting the sight that presents to you. a single curtain separating you from his shadow. of course, you can’t resist the call. with a swift movement you pull the nylon and expose him, who can’t help but nervously shriek in distress “ah! what the fuck!” you cackle “surprise!” he sighs, exasperated by your childish behaviour, and turns off the water “is that my.... body wash?” your attention shifts rapidly, taking in the image of his fully naked anatomy but pointing an index at his palms “what–” he halts mid-sentence, his cyan eyes darting to his fingers “oh, well, huh–” “you’re using my body wash.” “i can explain.” “you always say you’re too upgraded for bubbles.” “.... my phrasing is not exactly that however i was just– curious.” “to try my body wash.” “yes. to try your pink velvet sunflower body wash.” “wait. how do you know the exact name. suspicious.” if his forehead wasn’t already shimmering from the droplets of your interruption he would be drenched in cold sweat “.... i analyzed it.” “you fucking ate shower gel.” “in my defense–” v. → what do you do when you’re happy. he longs for moments like these. for when you both come home, him entangling his arms around your waist as soon as the door closes, leaving a trail of tiny pecks from your shoulder to your lobe, slow as a snail, savouring each millimeter of skin, each little relaxed spasm your muscles have, each complaint you attempt to address to his figure, each tender giggle escapes your mouth. he longs for moments like these. the same as when your shared friends send a text at the last minute, asking if it’s okay to come over and then maybe go somewhere, drinking or eating doesn’t really matter, it’s just to be together. and you sweetly smile, a bit tired after work, but still willing to say ‘yes’, serene in the comfort of not even having the need to change into fancy clothes, only bustling with secret excitement, waiting to be in stitches in the back of a non-automatic car. he longs for moments like these. as that time you both got a couple days off and decided to spend them in a countryside house, clutched by vines of different species: virginia creeper, common ivy and climbing magenta roses. and as soon as the door closed you rushed, gliding on the worn burnt sienna cotto tiles, up the old rusty stone stairs, reached the top and opened the small cabin, only occupied by a toilet and a small painting (‘in bed’ by federico zandomeneghi. a girl with long auburn hair, facing a floral wallpaper, resting in a tranquil atmosphere while stretched out in her bed under light blue covers.). you promptly proceeded to push the wood window frame, letting light invade the whole space. he was right beside you as your head stuck out, inhaling the fresh air and remaining speechless in front of the sun, the sky, the clouds, the as much red roofs interspersed with yellow lichens and green moss, the rest of the panorama composed by infinite sweeps of earthy fields. he longs for moments like these. vi. → our things // our place. “don’t forget to brush your teeth.” he whispers from behind you, his face reflected on the mirror in which you’re admiring yourself in search of some imperfections. you absentmindedly chuckle “i know” your eyes fixated low, watching the drain of the pale china sink. logically, the most convenient way of getting the toothpaste to exit the tube, is to squeeze from the end and let it come out on its own. of course, he noticed, you don’t do that. you, as if reading his mind while he’s standing close, watching and mimicking a human nightly routine, do the complete opposite of what he’s thinking, pressing your thumb at the very start of the mixed aluminium-and-plastic bottle you’re holding. a tiny bubble forms where the cap should be and you hint a smile. infos bothering his vision at the corner of his irises: it’s some internet articles about teeth blackening, mostly persistent in asia. it’s somewhat fascinating to him, or at least, it’s different from the constant obsession with lightening. he wonders what you would think about it. he wonders if you even know about it. white gel slowly fills your tongue and coats the ends of your lips. you’re kinda messy, he admits, but finds it utterly adorable nevertheless. vii. → dying human. your hand. your hand is what kept him alive for so long. because, despite his appearance, he’s as old as an adult can be at this time of your life. your life. two parallels tracks that never meet, going their way, wanting to touch but never able to. you, growing old. him, growing and nothing more. because he can’t be old, can’t he. he will never be old. he must be about.... no, that’s stupid. no hypothesis could change anything. it doesn’t matter which numbers he should have in his ID – not that androids have any in the first place –, what matters is the inequity of your age “you’re always beautiful” you murmur “mh? look who’s talking” the end of your mouth curls up in a childish smile, wrinkles adorning all of your features “flatterer. i could be one of your grandparents for all you know” he gives you a lazy expression, lids half closed, nevertheless content, a bittersweet happiness. he takes your right hand in his and draws it near his cheek “it’s rough, c’mon” you’re a bit ashamed but he lets the warm rays of sunshine glimmer onto him, eyes slowly leaving space to complete relaxation “no, it’s tender, don’t worry, just as you.”

[jojofurkmelifu]

Steven and the Diamonds

White Diamond: Yes I will look at the memory data on this Pearl *looks at it* Steven:So anything? White Diamond:Quite the adventure you have been on Pink Diamond, no Rose Quartz Steven:Rose Quartz? White Diamond:Oh sorry I meant STEVEN UNVIERSE *Steven shits his pants* Steven:Um I can explain White Diamond:No need you thing I understand exactly what you are, but the fact something of your existence has set foot in my presence really bothers me Steven:I guess I'll just be going now heh heh White Diamond:No stay Blue Diamond:Huh shes not Pink? Yellow Diamond:Where is PInk? Tell us Rose! White Diamond:Thats not Rose you idiots, Rose is just one of Pink's many alter egos she tricked us for thousands of years Blue Diamond:So she never died? Yellow Diamond:What? What? Then what is that thing down there? White Diamond:Some sort of combination of gem and organic from Earth identified as the sound "Steven Universe" Blue Diamond:So thats what you meant by Steven you little! Steven:Diamonds please I can explain White Diamond:Calm down you two dont make noise in my court *Blue and Yellow shit their pants* White Diamond:Pink my dear Pink perhaps its time I give you a reality check Steven:Huh White Diamond:Millions of years ago I decided to create three constructs to follow my grand creation the gem empire that would one day conquer the entire universe in time. I didnt have to create you three I could have ruled it by myself, GEMS ARE MY CREATIONS NOT YOURS I JUST LOAN THEM TO YOU REMEMBER THAT. It also means you are also mine you do what I say, i gave you life and I can take it away anytime I wish. So the least you ungrateful children can do is MAKE ME HAPPY! Blue and Yellow are wonderful daughters but you you you you ohhhhhh. Im so disgusted I cant even think straight *breathes in* Pink I gave you a colony 900,000 years ago and you messed up big time so I decided to held off giving you one until after you matured. I thought you matured but I was wrong

White Diamond:It seems as though you are unfit for running a colony or commanding gems meaning you have no purpose as a diamond. It means I was wrong I HATE BEING WRONG I HATE IT! Me a perfect being wrong its unfathomable! Three perfect creations that all I asked for! ALL I ASKED FOR! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! The failure of gems dont matter to me but you are my personal creations you must never fail you have to be perfect like me why arent you like me! *she breaks down into tears* Blue:Pink you made White cry Yellow:Steven I know Pink is there I can sense her in you, what do you have to say for yourself Steven:Look I dont know whats really going on here Im just a human from Earth, and Pink Diamond is my mom Im just doing this because I dont want the Earth to be seen as an enemy to the Diamond Authority so could you please leave Earth alone? White Diamond:Leave it alone! That planet is now a reminder of my imperfection it must be eviscerated. Blue:I agree Yellow:Absolutely Steven:Oh no :( White Diamond:So Steven Universe return to your rock and enjoy your last days with your species until their extinction at our hands, and blame no one but your stupid "mother" Pink Diamond for your suffering. Steven:Wait please dont do this, kill me instead leave the people of Earth alone! Blue:Never Yellow:We never let any species that disrespects us live at all its just protocol Steven Universe White Diamond:As for you Pink I can believe Im doing this, you are clearly banned from the Diamond Authority forever. You will be seen as a nongem to all gems form this moment, you will have no diamond privileges, you will not be allowed on any gem controlled territory either. Your court will be split and shared among your sisters, and your planet will be given to either Blue or Yellow but it seems they want to destroy it so Ill just give the entire star system to one of them no need to waste all of that matter.

*Steven breaks down in tears* Steven:Please Ill do anything to make you not destroy Earth Blue:What part of Never can you not understant SteVON Universe? Yellow:Hmphf we are done here now get of this planet White Diamond:Remember you thing this is all Pink Diamond's fault, gather up this worthless Pearl, those "crystal gems" and your pet leave this planet. Never come back or you will be sorry Pink Ill do something far worse than killing you stupid girl. *Blue begins crying* Blue:You went too far this time! It breaks my heart that I cant even consider my sister one of my own anymore but I'll still love you no matter what Pink we just wont see each other anymore forever Yellow:Stupid runt this is goodbye it was fun I guess little sister *Yellow Diamond shows slight signs of sniffling* White Diamond:If you are gonna make that noise do it outside my court! *Blue and Yellow leave* *Steven gets the gang and they take a ship back to earth, the ship self destructs after it leaves them on Earth to ensure they can never get back to Homeworld* *Steven falls to the ground in utter defeat unable to even talk* *Connie begins freaking out about the upcoming gem invasion* *The crystal gems begin crying as well*

*weeks past and Steven is suffering from intense despair and depression over the ordeal* *Greg is sad as well his Stewball is a sad sack* *Back at the temple* Garnet:So its war then a second gem war but we have no forces we need some sort of rebel army Bismuth:We only survived because it was staged by Rose I mean Pink Diamond in real war we cant beat the Diamonds Garnet:So what do we do? Bismuth:Look I know Rose sorry Pink Diamond loved this planet but if it means Im going to be killed for it then Im out Lapis:I agree its just one planet out of many that has water on it Peridot:A logical assertion but Steven really likes this planet so I cant give up on it because hes my friend Lapis:Steven will be really happy with me and him just alone somewhere out there in the cosmos just us two hehehehehe *Bismuth gives a wtf expression* Garnet:Steven cant be reasoned with right now hes pretty down so all we can do is try to make him happish by giving him hope he can stand on Bismuth:Yellow can instantly end us this is not a fight at all its a massacre its like a star fighting an asteroid there just is no chance at victory. Peridot:Maybe the cluster can help? Garnet:Huh? Peridot:Its friends with Steven but the cluster should be able to match the diamonds in power Garnet:Its a gem fusion meaning one hit from Yellow and its over Bismuth:In my fight with the diamonds they are pretty indestructable nothing we used even scratched them and that White Diamond is said to be even more powerful than those two combined and shes coming here too Garnet:Right White Diamond how do we stop her? Lapis:Lets just run away and take Steven with us! Hes gonna outlive all the creatures on this planet anyway but we can live forever with him. Bismuth:I made an oath to Steven Lazuli I cant just betray him Im not his mother Pearl:Uhhh well are there any bright ideas?

Peridot:The only way to beat a diamond is to use a diamond, a diamond has more power than all gem armies put together non fusion wise I mean if we had one we could destroy every army Homeworld throws at us Bismuth:We do? Garnet:Steven isnt Pink Diamond Pearl:Actually the gem on Steven's belly is Pink Diamond so we could bring her back if Steven were dead? But I would never do something like that even if the planet Pink wasted her life on was threatened. Bismuth:Right.... Garnet: If only there was a way to summon Pink without killing Steven, Steven even if he could use Pink's power doesnt have the mindset to really fight the Diamonds we need her Pearl:Well Im not supposed to tell you this but you could talk to her you know *every gem looks at her dumbfounded* Garnet:Pearl why? Why?! Bismuth:You have got to be kidding me I think Im gonna drown my face in some magma again this time for 400 years Peridot:What a revelation! hahaha Lapis:What? Pearl:Im sorry I couldnt really tell you Garnet:Talk to Pink Diamond I dont know Ruby and Sapphire wont like that Bismuth:Its the only way Pearl:Very Well then Ill show you.

*They are in some sort of dimensional space for minds or something* *They see Steven playing in field* Garnet:Steven why are you so cheerful? "Steven":Im always cheerful Garnet I love being human and happy ahahahaha Garnet:Rose Steven:Oh no you found out *Steven morphs into Pink Diamond* PD:So you found out huh? What did you think was it funny? Garnet:Funny? Do you have any idea how many gems died because of you? PD:Oh man you should have seen Blue crying it was hilarious Garnet:Pink why did you start the rebellion? You told me as Rose it was the protect the Earth was that true? PD:This again Garnet I already told you no more questions, but if you wanna know yes I did start the rebellion because all attempts at the Earth being ran my style failed Garnet:Was it worth it? PD:Earth is still here right so yes Ameythst:Uh hey Rose I mean Pink Diamond you are my diamond right so like Im supposed to follow you. PD:No I dont care what you do I dont really care if gems grovel to me Ameythst:Wow you are so much cooler than those duds back on Homeworld PD:My Ameythsts understand me so well Bismuth:You told me that the diamonds are the enemy and that our reward for winning the rebellion was freedom, and yet you bubbled me PD:Bismuth how are you doing, it been thousands of years still making weapons I see Bismuth:Dont change the subject PD:Sigh you have freedom no diamond is telling you what to do right? Theres your freedom embrace it Pearl:My diamond because of your actions planet Earth is at risk PD:What but the faking of my death? Pearl:Unfortunately thanks to your son the diamonds found out about it PD:Oh Steven Pearl:So I ask you what we your orders for the upcoming invasion? PD:I dunno why are you asking me I dont anything about tactics, Rose Quartz was really me thinking up stuff on the fly Im not military person you see Bismuth:Um..... Pearl:My diamond I understand you can be quite whimsical but this is serious

PD:Well nobody told him to talk to my sisters did they? Pearl:My diamond hes only a child he felt guilty over the things you did and he felt it was the best way to save Earth PD:A child ignores what mom and dad keeps hidden from them, I guess Steven's just a bad kid reminds me of myself sometimes Im so proud of him Garnet:Ahem, your sisters are gonna invade this planet what are you plans? PD:I just told you I got no plans Pearl:What if Earth is destroyed? PD:Oh well at least do me a favor stuff my sweet Greg into a pocket space so I can play with him for the rest of time will you Pearl Pearl:You remember the human PD:Oh Greg I miss you so much how I loved your organic tentacles inside of my body! Pearl:Too much information my diamond

(courtesy of /sug/ we need this as you do)

[dear-mrs-otome]

♥ Tagged - Randomize my life! (SLBP Version)

Rules: Pick 15 people and randomize them here. Make a new post and fill in each section with the number corresponding to your results. Feel free to tag anyone!

I got tagged by @mandakatt  and decided to do this entirely SLBP style. But oh god, what have I created?!

1. Mom or Dad: Kenshin - Good lord can you imagine? It’d be like one of those sitcoms or dramedy movies where the kids take care of their loopy space-cadet father, wouldn’t it? Making their own breakfast, otherwise he’d be serving chocolate ice-cream on top of cinnamon toast crunch or something.

02. Sibling: Yukimura - Awww. Awwwww...this would be so cute. I’d totally welcome Yukimura as big or little bro. Either way he’s got your back!

03. Grandma or Grandpa: Shingen - Ahahahaha...ever met one of those pervy old grandpas that insist on telling you about all the ladies they dated before you grandma, or how suave they were back in their day, or giving you dating advice? And you’re just cringing and stuffing another deviled egg in your mouth at Christmas, desperately wondering why your wine glass doesn’t refill itself? No? Nobody? Is this just a problem I have??

04. Haunts you: Mitsunari -  What a shitty ghost to have, really. He’d organize your messy books, spoil makeup he thinks is cheap and tawdry, and rearrange the spilled salt to spell out insults. Heaven help you if you ever pulled out the ouija board - he’d manage to throw shade as a shade that would blister the devil’s own ear. No wonder he’s still stuck on earth.

05. Boyfriend or girlfriend: Toramatsu - It’s a heavy, weighty responsibility - that of corrupting the innocent. But I am ready, willing, and able to take on that burden sir yes sir!

06. Your ex: Mitsuhide - Oh man. It was probably one of those quiet breakups, the ones that almost hurt worse than the explosive types. Where you just realized one day that there was no way you could force a square peg into a round hole, but it’s not the other part’s fault. You don’t have a good reason to NOT be with him...you just don’t have a good reason TO, and that really. Really. Sucks.

07. Your best friend: Saizo - WTF. I feel like this would not really actually happen but if it did it’s more just because he’s also your brother Yukimura’s bestie and they include you in everything, until one day you wake up hungover in a strange place at 3 AM and when Yuki doesn’t answer you find you’ve called Saizo. It’s never spoken of again after he takes you home, but the knowing sits warm and tight in your chest for weeks afterwards, and when he just sort of shows up one day you sit around watching Deadpool and pick it apart together.

08. Proposed: Toshiie - Is this really any stretch? He’s probably been joking about marrying you since you were seven. When he asked at ten you squealed about how gross boys were. When he asked at fifteen you just turned bright red and ran. When he asked at your twenty-first birthday you were more than a little tipsy and laughed until rum and coke came out your nose and then ran off to tell your friends. That was the last time he asked.

09. Your boss: Shigezane - This would be so? Cool? Shigezane would be the most awesomesauce boss, laid back and chill but still supportive AF, and if you ever need to take a personal day it’s yours. No questions asked. 

10. A random person you meet at a bar: Kojuro - It was probably a wine bar, near the courthouse where all the bigshot lawyers and corporate types schmooze about. You’re there for a special networking event, and the man with his jacket tossed over the barstool behind him and his sleeves rolled just the perfect amount up shares a quip while you wait for your glass of pinot gris. Only later does it occur to you that your tab’s been taken care of, and though you visit again for the next few weeks you never see that steady smile again.

11. Your rival: Nobunaga - I mean this is kind of a given, right? I think Nobunaga is incapable of any existence where he’s NOT a rival of some sort. The man needs drama like he needs air. Last box of brownie mix on the shelf just before Thanksgiving? Throw down. That asshole in the Lambo at the red light beside you, revving his engine and eyeing you in your Volvo over the top of his aviators? Nobunaga.

12. Gave you your first kiss: Masamune - I feel like this had to be a dare. Or a game. The most awkward round of spin-the-bottle you played in someone’s basement, dark and fumbling and his lips tasted of 7-Up, a thousand degrees beneath yours with the heat of his embarrassment.

13. Drunk and singing karaoke with: Oichi - YES. YES. I need this like yesterday. We have ‘Telephone’ choreographed and everything and belt it out together, and she always manages to get the number of the same man whose lap she’s poured her drink into by the end of the song.

14. Played seven minutes in heaven with: Hideyoshi - Oh hells yes. I mean, have you read the epilogue where this basically already happened?! You’d tumble out when the time was up, flushed and panting and not remembering what goddamned century it was, and even his smug grin wouldn’t be enough to make you resent the way he haunts your wet dreams for the next three months.

15. Gave you your favorite dessert: Ieyasu - This is hard to see. Unless it’s bribe? It’s probably a bribe. It’s definitely probably a bribe.  And I’d be double checking to make sure it wasn’t poisoned.

This was a lot of ridiculous fun, thanks for the tag Mandakatt! If anyone else would like to do this, go for it - I’d specifically like to see @wonky-glass-ornament, @yoolee, @cavern-of-bells, @suzunesays, @han-pan, @frywen-babbles try it!

[gspaepro]

Sorry this is so long but this took 2 weeks. (More to come btw)

Elister Stuff Sweet Little Lie Scenario: Gaster is with the boys on the surface. While Elisha is with Loli back at the house [At the Skelefam's Place] Eli- I'm gonna call G to check where him and the boys are. Loli- K. Eli- *ring ring* ... *ring ring* uhh... Gaster- *picks up* Hello? Eli- Hey G~ Gaster- Oh. What is it Elisha? Eli- I was just checking on you guys. Gaster- Oh! Then umm we're doing fine. Eli- You seem very unconfident in that answer... Gaster- N-no! We are alright dar- Elisha. Eli- ... You almost did it. Again~ Gaster- No I did not. Eli- Yes you did. Gaster- A-a-anyway. We are perfectly fine. How are the both of you doing? Eli- Yeah right... Oh! We're doin great! Gaster- Good. Now- oh! Papyrus would like to talk to you. Eli- Ok! Hi Paps! Pap- HELLO MOTHER! Eli- How's it goin? Pap- VERY GOOD! WOULD YOU LIKE TO SPEAK WITH SANS? Eli- Well of course "The Great Papyrus"! Sans- Heya. Eli- Hi Sans. Are you behaving? Sans- Y-yeah..? Eli- Uh huh... Is your brother? Sans- which one? Eli- ... I already talked to Paps... Sans- Oh. OH! Yeah i guess he's been doing good. Eli- Alright. Can I talk to him? Sans- Sure! Colt- Moooooooooommmm Eli- Uhh... Colton? You alright? Colt- Sans kept picking on me! Eli- About what? Did you tell your father? Colt- He kept saying my hair was poofy. And no... I didn't... Eli- What happened? Colt- Dad embarrassed me on the way heeeeeerrrrreee... Eli- Heh. Not surprising... What did he do? Colt- He said that I was the cutest one out of us three. Eli- Aww but you are~ Colt- Ugh. Im giving the phone back to dad. Eli- Colt! Really?! Gaster- Oh dear Asgore... Eli- So you were saying..? Gaster- Ok. They have fought a few times... Eli- I had never even dreamt about you lying to me! Gaster- Elisha. I- never mind... Eli- Aww I wanna hear... Gaster- Fine. I'm sorry about that. Eli- I forgive you G~ Gaster- We have to go. Good bye! I love you~ *muffled* Boys come say good bye to your mother! Boys- Bye! Eli- Good bye you three! Be good okay? Boys(mostly Colt)- Fiiinnnneee... We will. Gaster- We will be home soon. Eli- I love you baby~ Gaster- Don't c-call me that Elisha! Eli- Alright, alright... Bye G!~ Gaster- Bye. *both hang up* Loli- Sooooooo how are they doing? Eli- The boys are... Uhh... fighting... Loli- Oh. Eli- Yeah. Their fine though. Especially Paps. Loli- Not surprised. Eli- Colton floofed again. *shows pic* Loli- Pfft- AHAHAHAHA HE EVEN GOT A PICTURE?! Eli- Yup! He's adorable isn't he?! Loli- No wonder Chloe likes him so much! *doorbell rings* Eli- Already?! *opens door* Gaster- Hello Elisha! Eli- Hi! *hugs* You guys are back already? Gaster- Yes... We expected a longer drive back but... I guess not! Eli- I'm surprised you didn't run into traffic! Cause I have been on the surface WAAAYY longer than you guys. Gaster- I'm surprised too! Eli- How'd the rest of the trip go? Gaster- It went well... I guess... Eli- G... Come on...~ Colt- Hey ma! Eli- Oh! Hiya Colt! *hugs* Colt- Mooooom pleeeeeease Eli- Hey Sans hey Pap! Sans- Yo. Pap- HELLO MOTHER! Eli- Guys what did you do this time..? Sans- ... Eli- Gaster..? What did they do? Gaster- Oh. Uhh... They may have fought again... IT WASN'T BAD Eli- Oh really? What about? Sans- Pfft- Colt- *snorts* omg Eli- Guys? Pap- Umm... Gaster- I-I uhh... Eli- Oh...~ Was it you who started it G?~ Gaster- M-maybe... Eli- Aww c'mon G~ What happened?~ *wraps arms around G* Gaster- Elisha... Sans- Tell her!!! Colt- lol he ded Pap- GUYS STOP MESSING WITH HIM!!! Eli- He's fine boys... I just really wanna hear it now...~ Gaster- U-uhh I well... *bloosh* Eli- I'm gonna embarrass you again~ Gaster- You already are!!! *blooshes moor* Eli- I know~ Sans- Aww c'mon Dad... Colt- JUST DO IT! Gaster- The last time I checked, you were not Shia LeBeuf. Eli- *laughs* Aww... Really? I want to hear it! Colt- Yeah dad! It was cute! Gaster- I won't say it again until you boys apologize to your mother for your behavior during the trip. Colt- ugh. Sorry mom... Sans- Pfft- srry ma Pap- IM VERY SINCERELY SORRY MOTHER Eli- C'mon Pap. You didn't do anything. Pap- oh. Eli- Ok Gaster~ Go on... Sans- OHHHHHHHH SHIIIIIIII- taki mushroom? Eli- Your lucky you made a comeback kid. Colt- Ooo... Eli- Colton. Colt- Whoops Gaster- W-well... Sans- Come on dad. You know you want to~ Gaster- SANS! Sans- whoop! Eli- All right babe~ Gaster- Don't call me that. Eli- tell me!!! Loli- I EXIST GUYS Eli- We all know that. Anyway... Loli- hmph Colt- uhhh... He still won't do it. *knocks on the door* Eli- Huh? AGAIN?! Gaster- I have no idea who's here. Eli- *opens door* Chloe- WELL I HEARD TH- Eli- *slams door*  *pulls out phone* *texts Chloe* no. Chloe- *texts Eli* ... Oh... Ok... Eli- *puts phone away* ok then. *grabs Gaster by his collar* continue~ Gaster- Fine... I said that you were the most beautiful creature I have ever seen in the entire underground. *bloosh* Eli- *bloosh* Wing Ding!!! THATS SO FREAKING ADORABLE!!! Gaster- Come on! Its nothing! Eli- Kiss me ya nerd!~ Gaster- Not in front of the boys... Loli- AND ME! Although I would love to see that... Eli- SIS! Loli- I'll leave. *walks out the front door* Colt- Ahem... Where should we go..? Eli- Oh! I forgot! We need to go see Tori later! Sans- k we'll see you there guys Gaster- Alright. We will. Chloe- *texts Eli* can i go? Eli- God dammit. *texts Chloe* no. Chloe- *texts Eli* kk... Eli- Now where were we?~ Gaster- Elisha i'm serious... Eli- C'mon... We have been so caught up in taking care of the boys... Gaster- Fine... *kisses Eli* Eli- *pulls away a bit* There we go...~ Gaster- Now shouldn't we go to Toriel's? Eli- Nah... We have time... *gets closer* Gaster- Oh really..? Eli- Yeah... *kisses G's neck* Gaster- Stop that! Eli- I know you like it...~ Gaster- It's weird! Eli- Alright... Guess we should go... *lets go* Gaster- Oh dear Asgore... Eli- What? Gaster- Nothing. *picks up Eli* Eli- Hey! PUT ME DOWN! Gaster- Nope. Eli- COME ON!!! Gaster- No. You have been a little brat since I got home. Eli- IM NOT LITTLE! Gaster- Yeah Right... Eli- *blooshes* I ain't short. Gaster- *puts Eli down* Fine. We should go. You are still short. Eli- AAARGHH! Fine. Gaster- What are you? A pirate? Eli- *glares* Gaster- Alright! [in the Ruins] Colt- MOM! *sprints towards Eli* Eli- Whoa! Slow down kiddo! Colt- Mom! Asriel is back! Alphys found a soul for Flowey and he turned back into Asriel!!! Eli- Wait... He did?! Azzy- H-howdy! Eli- Hi there Asriel! The names Elisha. But you can call me Eli. Azzy- Oh! Tori- Good Afternoon Elisha! Eli- Heya Tori! How have you been? Tori- Very good! Asriel has been helping me with baking and I told him about everyone! Gaster- Hello Asriel. Azzy- Uh- I- Um- howdy? *backs away from G* Gaster- Oh it's fine I won't hurt you! I mean your the heir to the throne. I'm the former royal scientist for your father, Dr. Gaster. Azzy- oh... Tori- It's fine Azzy... He's nice! Eli- Heh thats pretty funny G! You scare the crap outta him. Gaster- It's not my fault! Eli- You are pretty creepy... At least to the little ones~ Gaster- You are little~ Colt- OHHHH BUUUUUURRRRRNN Eli- *glares* Colt- Oops Sans- Soooo... What did you guys do? Gaster- Adult things..? Eli- Do you even know how bad that makes it sound? Gaster- yes. Sans- pfft- Gaster- Don't even dare... Tori- Heh heh... Aaanyway... I have introduced Asriel to Colton and they seem to be getting along! Eli- Thats awesome! 'Guess we'll have to set something up! Colt- Mom! Mom! Look! Eli- What is it little guy! Colt- Look! Asriel is growing horns! Eli- Aww! Tori look! He has little stubs already! Tori- Asriel Dreemurr! Why didn't you tell me!? Azzy- Oh umm... Sorry mom... -Later- Gaster- Mrs. Dreemurr..? Im sorry for the interruption but, it's getting late and we should probably be heading out. Tori- Oh! I haven't even been paying attention to the time! Oh dear... Well I guess that you all will come back soon? Eli- Definitely. Colt- Awww... I don't wanna leave... Eli- We'll set up a hang out date for you alright? Colt- k... Azzy- Bye Colton!!! Colt- Bye Az! Sans- See ya kiddo. Pap- I CAN'T WAIT FOR OUR NEXT TIME TOGETHER! Tori- Alright! Goodbye boys! Eli- I hope you have a wonderful night Tori! Gaster- We will be back sooner or later. Goodbye. Tori- Goodbye everyone! Azzy- Bye! -at the Skelefam's Place- Eli- Ahh... Home sweet home. Sans- I think i'm gonna head to bed. Pap- ME TOO BROTHER! Eli- Colt..? That means you too. Colt- Aww... C'mon... Eli- Nope! Get to bed right now mister. I will be there in a minute to tuck you guys in. Boys- Alright. Gaster- So... I'm going to bed. Eli- C'mon G. Please..?! *puppy eyes* Gaster- Fine. Only one episode. -time skip- Eli- Go to sleep kiddos. See ya tomorrow morning. Boys- Goodnight. Gaster- Goodnights boys... Don't stay up talking all night. Alright? Boys- Okaaaay... -Another time skip to tomorrow morning!- Eli- Uuuugghhhh Gaster- *has already made breakfast*  What now. Eli- G?! Gaster- Yes..? It's me. Your husband. Eli- Sorry. I just got a bit discombobulated... I guess Gaster- Alright. Breakfast is ready. Eli- i'll be there in a minute... @~@ Gaster- Okay. The boys and I will be waiting~ Eli- Okay... Eli- ugh. Might as well get down stairs. Eli- but I don't want to. I'm an adult. I can do whatever I want! Eli- Aaaaaand now I want to get up and see my children... What do I do? Eli- ugh. Alrighty then. -downstairs- Eli- uuuugggghhhh. Gaster- Are you sure you are okay? Eli- yeah. Just tired. Sans- Uh huh. Eli- 😩 come ooonnn Gaster- Why don't you just go back to sleep? You could have said something. Eli- I know... Gaster- I'm just making sure your okay. Eli- Yeah i'm fine... You don't need to worry about me so much ya know. Gaster- Yes I do! I vowed to protect and care for you did I not? Eli- Well... I mean... Gaster- I know Elisha... I didn't mean to push you. Eli- I know you better than you know yourself... And don't let my teenage mood swings get in the way either. Gaster- It's fine now right? Eli- Well duh! Gaster- Just making sure... -later that day- Eli- ugh Gaster- Are you still tired? Its almost lunch time. Eli- Yeah... Hey. Didn't we set something up? Gaster- Yes. The boys are going to see Asriel at 2. Eli- oh yeah... What time is it? Gaster- 11 o'clock. Eli- WHaT?! Gaster- Calm down! Eli- ughhh... *flops on G's lap* i'm gonna diieeeee Gaster- No your not. Eli- yes I ammmmmm Gaster- Well then I guess you won't get to go to Grillby's for dinner~ Eli- *head props up* grillby's? Gaster- Yes. You heard me right. Eli- *eyes widen* *gasp* Gaster- Alright I'm going to see if Papyrus wants to cook today. Eli- Okay... Gaster- You can take a nap you know... Eli- i'll try Gaster- I'll be back in a minute. Eli- mm hm -in the Boy's room- Gaster- Papyrus. Pap- YES FATHER? Gaster- Would you like to help me make lunch? Pap- OF COURSE! Gaster- Now get to it Papyrus! You and the others have to go to the castle to see Asriel. Pap- ALRIGHT! Sans- k Colt- YESSSS Gaster- Get ready now okay? Boys- OK! -back downstairs- Eli- zzz... Gaster- *smiles* *taps Eli's shoulder* Eli- zzZ *wakes up* Huh? Gaster- Papyrus is getting lunch ready. Did you sleep well? Eli- i guess... Gaster- So what were you thinking of doing after the boys leave? Eli- Sleeping and drinking. Gaster- Did you stay awake last night or something? Eli- ... Uhhh... No? Gaster- You did. Didn't you? Eli- maybe? Gaster- That's a yes. Eli- soooo... Is lunch almost ready? Gaster- He just started so i'm not sure. Eli- Ok... Pap- LUNCH IS READY! Gaster- Does that answer your question? Eli- yup

[littlemisseightysixed]

The Alphabet Game!

Alphabet Tag Game

I was tagged by the wonderful @olivieblake​! and @ariel-riddle<3

rules: answer the questions in a new post and tag 20 blogs (I am honestly not sure I even know 10 people)

a - age: 18! :)

b - birthplace: Virginia

c - current time: 4:45 pm

d - drink you had last: I was actual double fisting Lemonade and Water at the same time, I know, I am the most attractive person alive.

e - easiest person to talk to: Pulling this one straight from Olivie, Definitely myself. Sometimes when I take my annual cross country road trip from Virginia to California I will pull down the mirror and have a full on conversation with myself... I wish I was kidding. Other than that, definitely my mom. <3

f - favorite song: At this moment? Entirety of Bastille’s Wild World discography which has inspired my current Dramione fic I am working on. Though I have been listening to No Sense by Shere Khan (Theo James from Divergent), Hot Thoughts by Spoon, and Oh No! by Marina and The Diamonds (Definitely reminds me of Hermione)

g - grossest memory: Oh geez... I am not sure... When I was a little kid I was running down this little sidewalk that runs into the grass (it leads up to the neighborhood Graveyard that has been there since The Civil War) and I was running down it barefoot. I tripped, and well, my whole big toe’s toenail came completely off. I was a champ though! Didn’t even cry! Though in the process of that the entire portion of skin that was on top of my knee cap came off also which was still fine, didn’t shed a tear, until my mom sprayed this antiseptic stuff directly onto it. *shudders* I can still remember that pain to this day.  

h - horror yes or no: It really depends on what type it is. I enjoy psychological horror for the most part, though I feel like my mother “ruined” horror movies for me, ever since I was young she would always remind me things were fake and they weren’t real, which essentially built up my immunity I suppose haha.

i - in love? With Tom Felton? Yes. With Draco and Theo in all of Olivie’s fan fics? Yes. In my current personal life, there isn’t anyone. I was hurt really bad by someone who I though genuinely cared for me, guess I was wrong. Though in the end it ended up being a good thing. It gave me time to focus on myself and want to beat him in a number of things. (Hes a published writer... *rolls eyes into the back of my head*)

j - jealous of people? Currently? Not really, at least not the malicious kind. I am a bit envious of some of the followings my favourite authors/accounts have but I am so happy for them, they deserve it! Though I can get jealous in the not so friendly way... one of my faults. I acknowledge it though!

k - killed someone? Does in my mind count? Some people just make me want to throttle them.

l - love at first sight or should i walk past again? You can definitely walk past again ;) Though I do believe that being physically attractive is a bonus (Which is normally what love at first sight has to deal with) unless you got a big brain and intellect to match that fine ass... keep on walking. <3

m - middle name: Elizabeth

n - number of siblings: I am an only child, more than enough attitude and sass for my parents to handle. Though, my parents did try for six years to have a kid and well, they got stuck with me!

o - one wish: Meet all of my favourite authors! Both Fan Fic authors and Original Work authors! I wouldn’t mind to have my own original work published either... *Cough* *Cough*

p - person i called last: My mom <3

q - question you’re always asked: What the hell is wrong with you? Also, “Did that hurt?”

r - reason to smile: My pug Jack, Dramione fan art/fan fiction, my family, the fact I won Young The Giant tickets, and that I just got my cap and gown for graduation!

s - song you last sang: Kingdom Come by The Civil Wars

t - time you woke up: 6:30 am. I rolled over, looked at my phone, contemplated getting up for school, went back to sleep. I ended up going into school late.

u - underwear color: Black

v - vacation: last one was when I went on my annual roadtrip, from Manassas, Virginia to San Diego, California. Route 1 and 101 were breathtaking.

w - worst habit: Yikes. I mean its not really a habit.. but I can get really hangry. Bless everyone in my life who can put up with that insane amount of bitchiness that can only be quenched by Chipotle bowls, chicken salads, and whatever else that is nearby that I can inhale. Oh actually I do have a habit. Procrastination ahahahaha. Or Starting something and not finishing it. Will not be the case with my stories though xx

x - xrays: Never had one. Though if we are talking about xrays of the soul.. stop trying to analyze me! I kid... sort of.

y - your favourite food: Chinese maybe? I don’t know, I really love Mexican food too (I am half so I may be a little bias...) Oooo or a California Burrito.. too hard!

z - zodiac sign: Scorpio I am not fancy enough to know my moon and sun rising </3 please send help.

Tagging @pierrej92​ @colubrina​ @vexedbuckbeak​ @salazars​ @ship-master​ @rosevtyler​ @mrbenzedrine89​ @freya-ishtar​ @provocative-envy​

@nympcdora​ @remusprongsandprefectsnogging​ @trjwizard​ @aeryastark​ @ssimsass​ @queenkhaleesistark​ @targayrens​  That will have to do.

[youcanbeyourlight]

so im basically just gonna vent a little here bc i need to and this is the only place i can where no one i know irl will see it and then be all super compassionate and all “its not your fault!!11!” bc i really dont need that right now

so im still unemployed despite the fact that ive had several interviews for a ton of places and i cant help but feel like its because im disabled but not ~disabled enough~ and im fat so since i need accommodation theyre just like “oh she must just be lazy and not want to do x y z” but like no its actually really painful or me but im still a damn good worker so i fyou could fuck off with your ableist bullshit that would be great, and bc im still unemployed, we dont have the money to afford literally anything, we’ve eaten ramen noodles every day this week, with spoonfulls of peanut butter to hold us over bc we can’t afford anything else and its literally one packet of noodels a day so we can keep it lasting until the gf gets paid again and now we also cant pay rent that was due on the fifth (ahahahaha) bc we tried and it went through but then didnt go through so the bank was like oh nsf then and then we tried again bc we needed to pay rent and it again went through and then didnt go through and decided it was nsf again so now we owe our apartment people like seven hundred dollars for rent bc of late fees and nsf fees which we dont have bc we had to pay other shit like our electric bill and its due by monday and we most definitely arent going to have it and even if we do somehow get it we’e got next months rent due the fifth so we won’t have that either and we cant do payday loans bc the all know us and we cant ever pay those back on time ever and i cant even ask my fam bc none of them are doing alright financially and im pretty sure we’re gonna get evicted and not be able to have a home for our animals, one of whom is super sick with mange or something we dont know for 100 percent sure because we cant even afford to take her to the vet so we’re using leftover med from my moms dogs from the same litter who had mange and this vitamin supplement thing on her food my aunt gave us and to top it all off my aunts selling the house i grew up in bc my grandma died last spring and my aunt cant really bear to stay there for much longer since she moved back to live there until it gets sold and i really wish we could take the house but we cant afford to buy a house rn clearly and im honestly just really done with everything and it all seems kind of pointless and nothing is going well and i really dont know what to do because i pretty much have a panic attack every day because im so stressed

so if youre feeling particularly giving today or happen to have a ton of money just chilling please please please send me some. im desperate and can make you a thing in return. 

[youichi21]

Get to Know Me

1. What is you middle name? R= i don’t have one :C  2. How old are you? R= In exactly 10 days I turn 23 years old :v  3. When is your birthday? R= April 13! 4. What is your zodiac sign? R=Aries (just like ussop!)  5. What is your favorite color? R= ummm totally doffy’s fault xD its pink  6. What’s your lucky number? R= 21!  7. Do you have any pets? R=  yes and beatiful cat, her name is blasfe and a chihuahua named lorena x’DD 8. Where are you from? R= mexico 9. How tall are you? R=  i’m 58 m tall 12. What was your last dream about? R= i dream with my dad... he passed away a few days ago.. i miss him every single day.. i think that’s the reason because i dream with him.... it was a simple dream... we are like every day... eating.. laughing... he looks so healthy and happy.. i miss you dad...  13. What talents do you have? R= drawing?????? cry in the middle of the night without no reason????  15. Favorite song? R= every annabel song (?????) garasu no toshi from boku no sexual ed???? my favourite song its from a yaoi ova???? oh god... 16. Favorite movie? leon the professional lol i just can’t think in nothing else 18. Do you want children? oh please no  19. Do you want a church wedding? maybe?? 20. Are you religious? no??? 21. Have you ever been to the hospital? thanks to the heavens no 22. Have you ever got in trouble with the law? R= no..... 23. Have you ever met any celebrities? R= no.. 24. Baths or showers? bathssssss 25. What color socks are you wearing? no one, here in mexico It's too hot to wear socks 26. Have you ever been famous? hhahahaha i’m the personification of a loser so.. no  27. Would you like to be a big celebrity? haha noooo 28. What type of music do you like? sometimes anime soundtracks, sometimes really really  hard rock/ punk music, the enoug for hurt your ears  29. Have you ever been skinny dipping? ehhhh no..... 30. How many pillows do you sleep with? i don’t like sleep with pillows, usually i put the pillow in my feet 31. What position do you usually sleep in? I sleep sideways or I usually sleep on the other side of the bed 32. How big is your house? ehh at least i can live with my sis and my two pets so.... 33. What do you typically have for breakfast? usually i don’t have a breakfast but when i do,it’s usually bread with milk. eggs or some tacos x’D i love tacos!  34. Have you ever fired a gun? oh no.... 35. Have you ever tried archery? nop when i was a child i wished but i never can... 36. Favorite clean word? no one 37. Favorite swear word? no one 38. What’s the longest you’ve ever gone without sleep? two days.. i’m too weak.. 39. Do you have any scars? ummmmmmm in my little toe. when i was 9 years old I cut myself by accident with a glass bottle ... the doctor had to sew my finger ...  40. Have you ever had a secret admirer? dear god no...  41. Are you a good liar? oh yes 42. Are you a good judge of character? nop  43. Can you do any other accents other than your own? no i totally suck at that  44. Do you have a strong accent?  45. What is your favorite accent? brittish 46. What is your personality type?  47. What is your most expensive piece of clothing? no one i don’t care a lot for stuff like that... i think the most expensive piece of clothing i have is a sweater that my aunt bought me because I was going to go party with her and she insisted that my clothes was a total disaster and I would not go out with her like this,, i want free food so... 48. Can you curl your tongue? nop :C  49. Are you an innie or an outie? innie OWO  50. Left or right handed? right hand!  51. Are you scared of spiders? very much... 52. Favorite food? all types of pasta! <3  53. Favorite foreign food? no one :S  54. Are you a clean or messy person? kinda a little bit from both sides...  55. Most used phrased?  56. Most used word?  dammit.. or  mendokuse ( what a pain in the ass in japanese.. a phrase from gintoki from the anime gintama x’DD) 57. How long does it take for you to get ready? 10 minutes  58. Do you have much of an ego?  59. Do you suck or bite lollipops? suck :P  60. Do you talk to yourself? a lot  61. Do you sing to yourself? sometimes 62. Are you a good singer? no  63. Biggest Fear? being alone  64. Are you a gossip? ehhh no 65. Best dramatic movie you’ve seen? the pianist???????????? 66. Do you like long or short hair? long but its more comfortable short 67. Can you name all 50 states of America? i’m mexican so.. no 68. Favorite school subject? currently digital animation 69. Extrovert or Introvert? INTROVERT 1000000000000000000000%  70. Have you ever been scuba diving? nop... 71. What makes you nervous? people, talk in public, confrontation, talk, any contact with people... sighs... i reallt suck in socialize.... 72. Are you scared of the dark? sometimes...  73. Do you correct people when they make mistakes? only when it’s neccesary.. 74. Are you ticklish? ehhh no 75. Have you ever started a rumor? no..  76. Have you ever been in a position of authority? lmao no one takes me seriously... 77. Have you ever drank underage? ehh no i hate it 78. Have you ever done drugs? never 79. Who was your first real crush? ahahahaha oh my god..a child named juan carlos when i was like.. 7?? 8 years old?? oh god.. he was a really  pretty boy..  80. How many piercings do you have? no one... i want a tatto but i’m too poor for pay for one... 81. Can you roll your Rs?“ not even a bit 82. How fast can you type? ehhh   83. How fast can you run? very slow  84. What color is your hair? black  85. What color is your eyes? brown eyes 86. What are you allergic to? dust??  87. Do you keep a journal? haha oh yes... usually i write how was my shitty day 88. What do your parents do? my mom is retired... my dad worked in the field  89. Do you like your age? lmao noo i just wanted to die young.. 90. What makes you angry? stupid people  91. Do you like your own name? yes it’s a curious name with a pretty meaning btw my name is anabel (  92. Have you already thought of baby names, and if so what are they? hahah no.. i don’t have kids.. i’m a troublesome person.,, how it’s supposed to raise a child being like this? oh god please no..  93. Do you want a boy a girl for a child? NO 94. What are you strengths? Finish all my homework in one night lmaoooo 95. What are your weaknesses? be a crybaby, coward person 96. How did you get your name? i don’t know my mom says it was dad’s idea.. 97. Were your ancestors royalty? no 98. Do you have any scars? yes in my little toe 99. Color of your bedspread? blue 100. Color of your room? ehhhh orange????