#that is the stupidest take ive seen in AGES

[leftsidebonfire]

Right so I finally had to fucking say something because I keep seeing the STUPIDEST takes about shipping I've ever seen.

And it's the whole "X Ship met when one character was a minor!" (Aka, 17, basically)

I see this thrown out with Lawlu and people get soooo offended that they MET when Luffy was 17. "Ewww you can't ship LawLu because they MET when Luffy was a MINOR" like be SOOOOO for real with me right now.

So, post timeskip. When Luffy is an adult. Is that just. Still illegal? Two consenting adults? ADULTS??? Or are you on your fucking high horse because an adult and a minor cannot even INTERACT EVER without being slapped with "grooming" accusations?

Stupidest fucking shit Ive ever seen, and I see it all the time. They MET once so now the whole ship is trash??? Go outside.

Like yall realize that people of all ages are allowed to meet. A 17 year old is allowed to meet and talk to an adult and date when they are of age. Which is a fucking year difference. Please for fucks sake THINK for a seconds, this is absolutely insane lmfao.

(This isn't even a Pro-LawLu or Anti-LawLu post, it's just an observation I always see in regards to this ship specifically. Like for all the reasons to hate on a ship, THATS the hill you're gonna die on? Because they MET for the first time when Luffy was 17, so this means they could NEVER EVER form a relationship EVER no matter how much time has passed? Please grow up omfg)

(Oh and miss me with that "Luffy can't be shipped with anyone because he's ace" because I'm Ace and in a relationship and I'm gonna ship Luffy with characters however I damn well please.)

[britesparc]

Weekend Top Ten #614

Top Ten Scenes of People Using Computers in Movies

This week is one of those lists that I’ve had bubbling away for quite a while. Initially it was just going to be “scenes of people typing” but then I realised that most of them were funny because it was a visual thing that didn’t really translate very well into me writing them out into a list. So it has evolved into what you see before you.

I think before we begin there are two very big and obvious “people on computers” movies that aren’t here: Wargames and Hackers. I’m pretty sure I’ve seen both of them but so long ago now I don’t really remember. But I’m always up for cheesy computer scenes, as this list ably demonstrates.

So what do I think makes a good “someone’s using a computer” scene? Well, essentially, I think it has to be really, really daft. That’s what most of these have in common; they just don’t look at all like somebody really using a for-real computer. Usually it’s an actor who you feel has never even been in the same room as a keyboard jabbering away at the keys whilst talking gobbledegook whilst some kind of pseudo-magical thing entirely unrelated to the computer takes place at the same time. Done right, these scenes are gold dust; hilarity of the highest order. Sometimes you sense the filmmakers are in on the joke. Sometimes not.

One thing that I was pretty keen on here, though, was that this was people using computers in a more-or-less recognisable way. So, for instance, I’ve avoided something like the Stellar Cartography scene in Star Trek: Generations as, whilst Picard and Data are technically using a computer, to all intents and purposes it’s two people sat in a planetarium. Similarly, Tony Stark and Bruce Banner create Ultron in Age of Ultron, but it basically amounts to a holographic lightshow. Very reluctantly, I also vetoed Harrison Ford’s photo analysis in Blade Runner; I want to see people typing, y’know? So whilst very few of these are “realistic”, at least they’re – more or less – recognisable.

Right, it’s already late, so let’s type “run” and get on with this.

Hugh Jackman in Swordfish (2001): “The best crackers can do this in sixty minutes. I need someone who can do it in sixty seconds.” So speaks John Travolta as a weirdo bell-end crypto-terrorist (or something) who forces ex-con computer hacker Jackman to diddle with a laptop whist receiving, er, downstairs assistance from a lady. It’s so shitting stupid. It’s one of the stupidest things I’ve ever seen and I’ve seen almost every Michael Bay film. And, I dunno, “crackers”? Do people say “crackers”? I mean, it is crackers, so there’s that. It’s so camp, so silly, so unrealistic, they’ve got to have been in on the joke? Surely?

Jonathan Pryce in Tomorrow Never Dies (1997): what Pryce is actually doing here – creating newspaper front pages – isn’t really that ridiculous. It’s just how he types. He’s got a tiny laptop and he seems to just randomly jerk his fingers around in the direction of the keyboard. It’s the most fascinating typing in human history.

Whoopi Goldberg in Jumpin’ Jack Flash (1986): we’re staying Pryce-adjacent but it’s Whoopi who’s the star here, in this beautiful celebration of 1980s VD-Usage. Big monitors, chunky keyboards, low-res fonts: it’s lovely. It’s also, interestingly, quite a good way of visualising somebody in a chatroom, as Goldberg inexplicably ends up in convo with spy-in-hiding Pryce, their relationship playing out entirely via cursor but always seeming dynamic and interesting with some good direction and a lovely, vibrant performance from Goldberg herself.

James Doohan in Star Trek IV: The Voyage Home (1986): Scotty and Bones inventing “transparent aluminium” in 1986 is very funny in and of itself, but it’s Doohan’s attempts to use a 20th Century computer that elevates this scene. Dismissing as primitive the inability to just spit instructions into thin air, he picks up the mouse to use as a microphone. Trust me, it’s funny.

Ariana Richards in Jurassic Park (1993): “A Unix system! I know this!” Yes, teenage computer hacker Lex saves the day and gets Jurassic Park back online without Dennis Nedry, thanks to her ability to very slowly navigate a painful first-person interface by holding a mouse incredibly strangely. Look, it was the nineties; everyone just assumed some sort of bad VR was how we were going to interact with computers in the future.

Jeff Goldblum in Independence Day (1996): this is one of the most famous (infamous?) scenes of computer misuse in a movie, and the only reason it’s so low is because the actual use of the computer isn’t that bad, it’s more the implications of it. Because, yes, Goldblum hacks into an advanced alien mothership using (if I recall) a mid-nineties MacBook, and is able to transmit a virus. He gives them a cold! Don’t ask any questions.

Vanessa Redgrave in Mission: Impossible (1996): the most famous scene of computer use in this movie is undoubtedly the bit where Tom dangles off the ceiling at Langly and barely drops a bead of sweat. But I prefer the moment later on, when Redgrave’s Max is trying to upload the NOC list to the internet, via a mobile connection, on a train, in 1996. Wow! What’s kinda great is, in a semi-fantastical spy-adventure-action series (that, moments later, has Cruise jumping off a crashing helicopter onto a train inside a tunnel), the actual use of the computer here is relatively realistic, shockingly so back in the day when accurate depictions of operating systems were few and far between. Even Redgrave’s frustration seems believable.

Richard Pryor in Superman III (1983): another superb, sublime bit of silicone silliness, the only reason this is so low is because I really don’t like this movie. Or, rather, I don’t like any of the stuff with the villains – the film is almost saved by Clark’s new relationship with Lana Lang, and the big where he goes all Tyler Durden in a junkyard. But! Pryor is an unemployed guy who’s never used a computer who – the first time he uses one – discovers to his shock that he’s a savant who can program and hack anything. His hands move with a will of their own. He literally does not know how he knows what to do. It’s still less stupid than Swordfish.

Harrison Ford in Clear and Present Danger (1994): this is one of the sorta-realistic ones, as Ford’s Jack Ryan is trying to get evidence of Henry Czerny’s naughtiness, looking at his files on the computer but hoping his snooping is undiscovered. The OS looks real, it feels genuine, and the most tense moment comes when Ford realises he’s out of printer paper. I’m not even kidding, this draws true stress from whether Ford’s secretary popped to Staples that morning.

Tom Hanks and Meg Ryan in You’ve Got Mail (1998): outside of the relatively nice quirk that big corporate dude Hanks uses an IBM PC laptop and flowery arty Ryan uses a MacBook, this is another one that has to represent email and chatroom dialogue visually. And it does an okay job, even if it is rather mawkish and schmaltzy. But more or less it does look like they’re using computers, even if they verbalise and visualise their email writing more than most.

I’ve just realised I’ve got two 1986 films and then two 1996 films back-to-back. What can I say? We didn’t know how to use computers back then.

[masoverdandi]

https://archiveofourown.org/works/61243150/chapters/156869524

this lomonaaeren chapter has some of the worst descriptions ive seen in a while, and i dont just mean the horror of your average lomonaaeren sex scene, although that was pretty bad. ("cock was a brilliant red" and "cry out his pleasure" feature, but sex scenes in her fics are always mercifully short)

i was actually surprised by how bad this imagery was because i usually like her inventions, although they tend to be very curt and straightforward.

so, like, behold:

When the Fiendfyre appeared, this time in the shape of a demonic unicorn with spikes on both its horn and hooves and the curved fangs of a meat-eater,

stupidest creature ive seen written in ages.

like, what the hell. what if a unicorn was evil and was covered in spikes and had fangs and was made of fire? wouldnt that be cool?

how are the spikes arranged on the hooves?? im imagining them like toes D:

i gotta say, though, lomonaaeren has gotten a lot better at jokes. like, thats not huge praise because her writing is famously wooden, but i did crack a smile a few times and that's new.

im not sure how i feel about her recent (aka last few years) turn into writing intimacy and codependency. like, on one hand, i love that crap, and i especially like her take on it in this fic. on the other hand, the reason why lomonaaeren has always fascinated me is because i think her approach to writing avoidant isolation and habitual secret-keeping is very unique. so i guess my question is, am i more moved by the stories that resonate with me for fantasy reasons or for personal reasons?

[ladyartemesia]

The Kiss

◐ PART VIII of THE ALPHA ◐

◐ Series Masterlist ◐

◐ Part I ◐ Part II ◐ Part III ◐ Part IV ◐ Part V ◐ Part VI ◐ Part VII ◐

Pairing: Alpha Werewolf Jimin x Omega Reader

Rating: Hard Mature 18+ (for this installment)

Warnings: this one is a little darker, descriptions of violence, ABO sexual dynamics including discussion of scenting, marking, mating, and claiming, strong sexual innuendo, discussion of violence relating to ritual combat, possessive behavior, injuries and discussion of injuries, lots of people have, use and are threatened by knives, kidnapping and drugging, its not as bad as it sounds, but it is definitely a bit darker…

Word Count: 4250

Author’s Note: I said it before but it bears repeating...You have no idea what your support has meant to me. Truly your asks and your messages and comments…they made me so happy. You made me believe that people wouldn’t forget about this story. I am so grateful you were able to wait. As many of you know I faced a medical emergency recently and you were all so lovely. The best followers on this site and I MEAN that. As always, my angels @ppersonna @xjoonchildx and  @untaemedqueen​  were (and continue to be) the best betas and the best friends anyone could ask for. My thanks to ALL of you for helping me bring this story to life! I don’t know what I would do without your daily encouragement and your daily support. You guys are the heartbeat of this story. It wouldn’t be here without you.

——◐——

Two Years Ago 

——◐——

Centuries ago the moon goddess stumbled across her human soulmate while he was sleeping. Struck by his beauty, but reluctant to reveal her identity, the goddess began to visit him in his dreams where she could hide her true form and appear before him as a mortal woman. 

In the world of dreams their love flourished and from that blessed union the packs were born…

The wolf nations celebrated this sacred romance every ten years during the Festival of the Lover’s Moon…

The day of the festival was spent eating and drinking and dancing at large parties, but when the sun went down… well—

That’s when things got really interesting. 

On the night of Lover’s Moon the young unmated wolves of the pack were permitted to commemorate this legendary love story in a decidedly scandalous manner. 

The unmated men assumed the role of the goddess’s sleeping lover—they were blindfolded (to represent slumber) and led into a large sectioned off area of the dark forest to ‘wait and dream.’

Unmated she-wolves over the age of maturity (eighteen) took herbal scent suppressors and ventured out into that very same forest in order to anonymously ‘visit’ the young men ‘in their dreams’...

The rules for what exactly that meant were pretty fast and loose which was why Min Yoongi was thanking the goddess and every other deity he could think of that Yunli was still seventeen. 

“But I will be eighteen in two days! Please can’t I just—“

“No. Absolutely not under any circumstances ever.”

“But Yoonji is going!”

“Ji-ah is nearly nineteen and has never been interested in any of the snotty little man-pups of our pack.” He snorted. “She’s probably going out just so she can shove a bunch of them in the lake.”

“I wouldn’t count on it,” Yunli mumbled irritably. 

Kim Taehyung yawned idly and snuggled into the cozy little pallet he prepared at the base of his favorite tree. The blindfold he and all the other unmated ‘lovers’  wore was made from witchcloth and could not be removed while the sun was down—so he had snuck into the forest earlier to set everything up. 

Now all he had to do was wait until—

“H-Hi Taehyung.”

Oh sh—

“Uh. Hello...Miss.”

Taehyung didn’t recognize the owner of that voice, but he knew for sure who it wasn’t. 

“I was hoping to find you tonight.”

This is not good. 

“Well I’m—I’m flattered… naturally but—”

She touched his hand and he squeaked. 

“I was thinking you and I might get to know each other a little bet—eep!”

The sharp point of a custom blade pressed directly into the unfortunate young beta girl’s pulse point. 

“Are you lost, puppy?”

A heavy cloak obscured the newcomer’s features, but there was no mistaking her meaning. 

Taehyung bit his lip to keep from snorting as the poor she-wolf scrambled away. 

“Ji-ah,” he tsked with feigned disapproval, “that wasn’t very nice.”

Min Yoonji grinned as she sheathed her wicked looking dagger and slid languidly into his arms. 

“You don’t like nice girls, Kim Taehyung.”

“I like you,” he whispered breathlessly against her lips. “Nice or not—it doesn't matter to me…” His hands slid greedily over her soft curves—pulling her closer till he felt the beat of her heart against his own. “I’ll like anything as long as it’s you.” 

This was the stupidest idea in the history of stupid ideas. 

Jimin huffed as he struggled to find a comfortable position against the giant boulder he’d chosen as his perch.

Why did I let Taehyung talk me into this?

He could be at home—in bed—comfortably sleeping off the all-day feast he’d indulged in. 

Instead he was out in the middle of the forest sitting blindfolded on a rock in the off chance that one of the she-wolves was out looking for him. 

Not bloody likely. 

Not when prime targets like Namjoon, Hoseok, Jungkook—and countless others—were scattered throughout the woods. 

“Park Jimin?”

Every hair on Jimin’s body stood on end. 

It was a soft whisper—the speaker clearly didn’t want her voice to be recognized, yet something about the sound sent a curious frisson of interest down his spine. 

He gulped. 

“Yes… that’s me. But if you’re looking for Hoseok he’s just a little deeper in. You probably caught his scent downwind so—”

“I’m not looking for Hoseok.”

Jimin licked his lips and the sight of it sparked a odd curl of heat in the pit of your belly. 

“I don’t know where anyone else is…”

“That’s quite alright.” A muted shuffle of movement reached his ears as you settled down beside him. “I was looking for you.” 

“Oh…” He rubbed the back of his neck idly. “Are you sure?”

Laughter like fairy bells whispered through the air and Jimin felt his heart clench.

Don’t get your hopes up. 

“Who are you?”

You were silent for a long time and then—

“I am someone who owes you a debt. One I have never been able to repay.”

Jimin’s head tilted curiously as he considered your words. 

“I’m sorry, miss… you must be mistaken. There isn’t—“

“You don’t remember.” 

It was a statement—not a question. Your voice was nearer now. He could feel the warmth of your body close to his—though not quite touching. “It was your wolf that saved me. But you had not gone through the Change yet.”

Familiar shame spiked sharply in his chest.

“I’m seven years past the Change...Why have you never mentioned this before?”

“Circumstances prevented me from doing so.” 

There was a cold finality to your pronouncement—which of course did nothing but further inflame his curiosity. 

“Then why come to me now?”

“I’ve come to repay you.”

Jimin’s mouth dropped open. 

Were you trying to—?!

“Oh—no please that-that’s not necessary—I could never take advantage of—”

You giggled again.  

“I am not offering my body, Park Jimin.”

Jimin breathed a heavy sigh of relief then shook his head with a wry chuckle. 

“Well considering the circumstances I can hardly be blamed for assuming you might be. And honestly most men would jump at the chance to—”

“You...are not most men.” 

Jimin’s eyes narrowed beneath his blindfold. 

“Little she-wolf—I may not be wrestling bears for fun or bare knuckle boxing in the town square, but I am still an alpha.”

The weight of his command poured over your body as he spoke the last word. There was no order or intent—he had simply given you a taste of his power. 

Aside from your direct blood relatives, no alpha had ever dared unleash their compel in your presence—therefore you were utterly unprepared for the effect it had on you—

Utterly unprepared for the strange surge of want so potent and profound that it stole the breath from your body. 

It was primal—invigorating—

Sensual.

You and your wolf may not have been entirely connected yet, but she was suddenly quite vocal about her desire to fully bask in Park Jimin’s attention.

A wicked grin played over his lips as he leaned in closer and you could almost feel the soft brush of his lips against your cheek. 

“Did you think I would not desire the touch of a beautiful woman in the moonlight?” he whispered. 

Please touch me, Alpha. 

Your eyes widened. 

Dear goddess. Your inner wolf was turning out to be a shameless hussy. 

“You might desire it, but you are far too  honorable to accept it as payment for a debt.”

Jimin drew back warily. 

You were correct of course. After all he had refused you when he believed that was your intent but—

“How could you know that?”

Evade. Evade now. 

“Well... how could you know I was beautiful? You’re blindfolded.”

He shrugged and your wolf took careful note of the way it made all the pretty muscles in his back and shoulders ripple. 

He will give us such strong—

Oh boy. 

He will do no such thing. Please calm down. 

“Not everything must be seen with your eyes.”

Is that how you found me? All those years ago...

Questions churned chaotically beneath your consciousness but you dared not give voice to them. 

Focus.

“I must repay this debt. Ask for what you want and—if it is in my power—I swear it will be yours.”

Jimin smiled again, but this time it was somehow softer. For a moment he looked almost…

Sad. 

“I’m afraid that the only thing I have ever wanted is not within your power to give...and I dare not ask you or anyone else for it.”

For her. 

He sighed and drew even farther away from you—in fact it seemed like he was preparing to leave. 

No. 

Your hand reached out almost of it's its own accord and wrapped tightly around his wrist. The contact sent a shock of searing heat through his veins and he froze. 

“Please alpha. It is not acceptable for someone like me—” a leader, a Luna, “—to owe another my life and offer nothing in return. You must let me pay my debt.”

Omega, his wolf growled, sweet perfect omega. 

Suppressors may have hidden your scent, but the siren song of an omega pleading prettily in his ear was unmistakable—irresistible…

“What if all I want is your name?”

You sighed deeply. 

“I cannot give you that. My name is… not mine to offer.”

Jimin laughed. 

“A woman I cannot remember with a name I cannot know and whose face I cannot see.” He shook his head. “Perhaps you are just a figment of my imagination.”

It was hard to explain what happened next...For whatever reason his words cut you deeply and you were overcome with the desire—no need—to refute them somehow. 

“I’m real enough,” you whispered, bringing his hand to your cheek. 

Jimin was genuinely beginning to wonder if you were a witch as well as a she-wolf. Being close to you was intoxicating and the urge to draw you in was steadily overpowering every other thought.

“Could I ask you for a kiss, then?”

“You—...You saved my life and all you want... is a kiss?”

The air grew heavier as the strange magnetic pull between you swelled to a silent inescapable crescendo. 

“In Seoul I often searched for someone who could ease my loneliness, yet each time I walked away emptier than before.” His thumb brushed gently over your lips and your eyes fluttered shut. “I have never had a kiss that meant anything to me.”

But yours might. 

It was unclear who moved first, whether he pulled you to him or you surged forward but when your bodies aligned and your lips met his for the first time it was as if you had never been separate from one another. 

As if you had always been deeply—intimately —together. 

The indescribable feel of him lit over your senses like a struck match. It was an ignition in the purest sense of the word— a fiery visceral awakening fueled by a consuming flood of desire. 

Yes, Alpha. 

He might never see your face or hear your name, but Jimin knew he would remember the taste of you for the rest of his life. It was hot and bright like liquid sunshine— a pure relentless light flowing through him where there was once only darkness. 

A soft needy moan rose up from your chest and he growled in primal satisfaction as you melted against him. 

Your fingers curled into the fabric of his shirt of their own accord, desperately trying to bring him closer until he wrapped his arms around you in a heated embrace. 

“Please,” he begged breathlessly against your mouth. “Please tell me who you are.”

The words crashed over you like a bucket of ice —dousing the hazy pleasure of his kiss with a cold bite of reality. Suddenly you were wrenching yourself away from him and your wolf whimpered in misery at the loss of his touch. 

“I can’t,” you whispered. 

And then you were gone. 

“Did someone hurt you?”

You looked up to find Jin taking in your tears with cold fury. 

Twin knives were already gleaming dangerously in his hands and he appeared ready to filet whichever bastard was foolish enough to make you cry. 

“No,” you sniffed—well aware of how pitiful you were at the moment—crying in the corner of your cousin’s kitchen. “I got myself into this mess without any help—as usual.”

Jin sighed and slid down next to you. 

“Tell me.”

“Something happened that I…I didn’t intend.”

“Oh I knew that already. The Luna isn’t supposed to be running around on the night of Lover’s Moon in a forest full of blind horny wolves—“

You snorted and shook your head. 

“You’re absolutely right. I should have stayed away.”

Jin’s eyes narrowed and he wondered if perhaps you had caught Kim Namjoon with another omega. Nothing would be official until after the Change of course, but your bond with him was basically a foregone conclusion at this point. 

“You went looking for someone...didn’t you.”

You nodded miserably—all but confirming his fears. He made a mental note to push Namjoon in the swamp at the next available opportunity. 

“You know... the stories say that a Luna is powerfully drawn to her mate under the Lover’s Moon—that her wolf can sense him even before the Change.”  He reached over and gently began to brush the tears from your eyes. “So it’s not surprising that you sought him out, but it’s not really fair to hold whatever it is you saw against him. There is no relationship between you yet and…” he chuckled, “kisses beneath festival moonlight don’t really mean anything anyways.”

It was clear that Jin had somehow gotten the entirely wrong impression, but perhaps that was for the best. 

No one knew of your connection to Jimin and no one had seen what passed between you. 

Still…

Something about his assessment stung you. 

“You really believe that? ...That a kiss exchanged tonight means nothing?”

“I do.” Jin spoke with conviction. “There’s ancient magic at play in those woods. You can’t always trust what you see—or what you feel.”

“Oh I...I didn’t know…”

After a moment you laid your head against his shoulder and let the last of your tears run silently down your cheek. 

“Jin-ah have you ever wanted something you knew you couldn’t have?”

“Yes.” He sighed heavily and pulled you in to snuggle a bit closer. “When I was younger I dreamed of having a mate just like everyone else…”

The words were so softly spoken—almost wistful. Your heart splintered just hearing them. 

“But… she could be out there—your mate.”

Jin shook his head. 

“When is the last time you heard of a female alpha?”

Fresh tears welled up in your eyes. 

“Jin…”

“Hey,” he whispered, “don’t waste your crying on me. I’ve long since come to terms with who and what I am.”

“You’re not sad anymore?”

“Well… maybe sometimes I am… but I had to accept that people like us are not like everyone else. Our destinies were written long before we were born.”

“And you believe you’re destined to be alone?”

“Wolves in a pack are never really alone.”

“Yes...but they can be lonely,” you whispered thinking back to Jimin’s words. 

For a moment Jin’s eyes were the saddest you had ever seen them. 

“Well...I suppose they can.”  Then he chuckled and gave your nose an affectionate little tap. “But you don’t need to worry about that. When the time comes Namjoon will take his place at your side and the two of you will build a wonderful life together... Isn’t that what you want?”

Isn’t it?

Your treacherous thoughts drifted back to the boy in the moonlight—to the way your body sang when he touched you and the strange insatiable desire to know him and be known by him in return.

“Please...Tell me who you are.”

A heavy ache settled in your heart. 

You were the Luna of the mountain nations. A true born moon princess. 

You could never be the woman who kissed Park Jimin underneath the stars. 

You were not like everybody else. 

“...Yes. That is what I want.”

——◐——

Now 

——◐——

Jimin’s heart pounded as he tore through the dark paths of the wood with Taehyung, Yoongi, and Jungkook close behind. 

He had never led an attack—had never been trained to command wolves in battle. 

It was his first true test of leadership and he hadn’t even been a leader for twenty-four hours. 

Yet the fears and anxieties that might have normally clouded his mind were notably absent. 

There was only you.

Ironically Jimin owed Namjoon yet another debt—this time for explaining what exactly someone like him was capable of. 

The alpha Jin captured had given up their plan and position after being exposed to Jimin’s unique gifting, so he had a concrete target in his mind… He suspected however, that your captors had taken precautions after leaving some of their men behind. They had shifted their camp. 

But it wouldn’t be enough to save them. 

Jimin didn’t need your location to find you. 

He spent years refusing to look at you, and even then he always knew exactly where you were. He could sense you in any crowd—hear your voice in a thousand.

Once it had tormented him cruelly to be so aware of you. 

Now it was the only thing keeping him sane. 

He followed the connection between his heart and yours like a lifeline and it guided him as surely as the stars. 

The alphas followed him without question. 

If any of them harbored lingering doubts before, they were firmly laid to rest after what they saw at the cottage. No ordinary wolf could do what he had done. 

The Alpha would bring back their Luna and retribution would be swift indeed. 

The drugs in your system kept swinging you in and out of lucidity like a nightmarish pendulum. You tried to shift after the initial nausea faded, but whatever they gave you kept your wolf caged beneath your skin. 

Jimin

The longing you felt for your mate was the only thing tethering you to reality. You could almost hear him echoing in the far corners of your mind—  

I’m coming Omega—hold on. 

I’ll find you. 

Part of you recognized that his voice was likely nothing more than the wistful creation of your drug-addled mind, still you clung to it like the last shred of hope while the minutes (or hours) flew past.

Chaos clouded your thoughts even in clearer moments as many unavoidable concerns forced their way through the haze. 

Jin was at the house with you when they broke in. You had no way of knowing if he survived. 

The men who took you were crass and irreverent. Their eyes followed your form with too much interest and too little respect. 

It was starting to get cold and (due to you nearly dismembering a high council member and needing to be compelled unconscious) you were still wearing a thin white ceremonial dress which offered very little protection from the elements. 

You wondered idly if your idiot captors would let you freeze to death before they accomplished whatever it was they took you for. They clearly needed you for something or you would have been long dead by now. 

None of them struck you as particularly brilliant planners so the mastermind must be somewhere else... 

Frankly the entire situation was as puzzling as it was troubling. Iron Claw had always gotten along well with your pack. 

Technically they were (almost) what the human governments called a vassal state. The presence of a Luna determined the dominant pack in a region and the Luna of the mountain nations had been born into Silver Fang—your pack—for the last thousand years or so. 

Why would they challenge us now? 

The birth of a Luna indicated that the goddess had chosen that pack to lead. Their willingness—not only to kidnap you—but to go against the dominant pack by doing so was alarming to say the least. 

A sudden explosion of movement and sound interrupted your contemplation. Motion erupted all around you—boots pounding on the ground, men falling into their wolf forms, knives being drawn… 

You lifted your head—straining forward to see the source of the commotion—and nearly collapsed in relief when you finally did. 

Alpha

Your mate stood at the edge of the camp flanked by two enormous black wolves. 

A deadly looking jingum sword gleamed dangerously in his right hand. You recognized it immediately as your great-grandfather’s combat blade—the thousand year-old weapon of the Silver Fang Alphas. 

Relief flooded your chest all over again at the sight of it. Only Jin could have given him that sword—which meant he was still alive. 

The black wolves—Yoongi and Jungkook—snarled viciously but made no move to attack. 

Your captors were still scrambling into some sort of combat formation when Jimin finally spoke. 

“You have violated our sacred laws, trespassed in sovereign pack lands, kidnapped a Luna under the protection of our goddess, abducted the mate of the Silver Fang Alpha, and risked open war between our peoples.” He took a single step forward. “Surrender now and I will be merciful.”

The biggest of your captors—a man you recognized as the de facto leader—spat viciously on the ground. 

“You are not my Alpha,” he growled.

A cold—almost cruel—smile twisted over Jimin’s lips.

“Very well.”

Then he dropped to one knee and a massive grey wolf—Taehyung—leapt over his head and tore out the defiant leader’s throat before he even hit the ground. 

Your mouth dropped open. 

Bangtan formation.

Yoongi and Jungkook lunged forward in opposite directions, tackling their targets to the forest floor in a bloody clash of teeth and claws. 

One of the larger Iron Claw alphas half-shifted and charged Jimin but his arm shot out lightning fast, catching his attacker by the throat to send him flying through the air into a tree. 

The next several minutes could only be described as terrifyingly beautiful.

It was immediately clear that Jimin had been holding back when he fought Namjoon. 

He dispatched his opponents with such elegant savagery it was almost art.

You were so mesmerized watching Jimin sensually sword dance his way through a dozen alphas nearly twice his size that you almost missed Taehyung’s wolf rushing over with a dagger clenched between his teeth. 

Luna are you okay? 

You grinned and held up your rope-bound wrists. 

“I’ll be better once you pass me that knife.”

Taehyung nodded once and dropped the blade at your feet before tackling another wolf that was tearing towards the two of you. 

You sawed through the ties around your ankle first then twisted your arms to try and slice through the restraints on your wrist. 

The Iron Claw wolves were clearly no match for Jimin and his alphas. 

Jungkook and Yoongi chased after the few who were trying to run while Taehyung half-shifted to subdue the handful of wolves left alive as prisoners. Only Jimin continued to fight as the last three of your captors still standing took turns being slammed into the dirt by his strikes. 

He was clearly capable of dispatching them, but you were fairly convinced that you would die if you had to stay away from him for another second. The ropes, however, were surprisingly thick and the angle you were cutting them at wasn’t the best. If only—

You were almost free when you saw it. 

One of your captors had pulled a hunting javelin from their supply wagon. He must have hid himself at the onset of the fight, but now he was comfortably concealed by the shadows—and taking aim at Jimin. 

Your heart dropped into your stomach. 

The attacker appeared to handle the weapon with familiarity. He was too far back—too well hidden—Jimin would never see him in time—

The last cord around your wrist snapped and you were on your feet, pushing through the combined haze of fury and sedatives to charge the wolf who dared attack your mate. 

By the time he saw you it was far too late. 

Under the effects of the drug your aim was a little skewed but you weren’t Kim Seokjin’s cousin for nothing. 

One clean flick of your wrist and the dagger shot through the air, burying itself between the brute’s shoulder blades—all the way to the hilt. 

His body fell to the ground just as Jimin sent the last of your captors careening into a pile of previously defeated foes. 

For a moment all was quiet. 

Then your eyes locked across the distance and everything around you sharpened to a single whispered word. 

“Jimin.”

He had run non-stop for miles and torn apart a dozen wolves to get to your side—no amount of space between you now was tolerable. 

The sword clattered to the forest floor as he moved toward you—desperate to feel you—to wrap himself around you and know that you were safe. 

What happened next was as natural as breathing.

You opened to him and he lifted you into his arms, taking your lips in a hot unrepentant kiss. 

Fire exploded across your senses, burning away everything but the touch and taste of him. Every part of you was at once fiercely and gloriously alive. Desperate moans passed between you as he licked into your mouth—a dark primal promise of the pleasure he would take between your thighs. 

“Alpha,” you whimpered, too delirious with want to manage anything else. 

Suddenly Jimin’s eyes shot open. His hands flew to cup your face, searching it with a mixture of realization and disbelief.

“You… It was you.”

If you are already on the taglist, then I will automatically tag you for the next part! If you would like to be added to the taglist, please let me know.

Please tell me what you thought of this update! I am really excited to hear your thoughts! Feedback really does fuel my writing and hearing from you means a lot to me! On days that its hard to write, I go back and I read your lovely words and it makes me want to keep going! I cannot overstate its value in my heart! Seriously this story keeps going because you guys have been so supportive and wonderful. You have no idea how much just a few word can brighten my world and fire up my muse. 

[crying-overit-all]

ok because i really just need to rant 😭😭

i literally cannot with my wench of a math teacher. and she cant with me either so at least thats mutual but she seriously has issues... she has a superiority complex/power complex idk which is the right term to describe it, but she takes advantage of every single aspect of power she has. she has the power to give us detention, so she does so whenever you dont complete homework or get any of the problems wrong. she uses her power over of us students to her advantage to talk to us however she wants. shes condescending and talks to us like we are still five years old. she can be pretty manipulative as well. im not exactly sure if thats the right word to use, but she will be yelling her lungs out one moment, or just give off a bitchy attitude, and the next moment she'll compliment you on something. but no matter what, she is always giving us fake positivity. idk how it came up, but today i heard her say "it doesnt matter where you go to school, you can get a good education from anywhere as long as you pay attention and do what you're told" BYEE WHAT 💀💀 i just dont believe in being obedient so of course i have lots of problems with school already. hearing that "advice" she was giving just made me so angry, and i still am obviously since its been at least five hours and im still thinking about it. but thats exactly what she wants us to do. she wants us to bow down to her and clean her fucking shoes with our tongues without questioning it and teach it as "respect". today in class this guy "talked back" to her and she was like "do you talk to your mommy like that" and the guy responded, "yea". in response, she said "youre so lucky you arent my kid". and that entire conversation was just so uncalled for ??? shes fucking awful to her own elementary school aged children as well. berating your kid for the most stupidest shit like "messy handwriting" has got to be some form of psychological abuse because what the actual fuck. making your kids take math tests every damn day is pretty weird too. like damn. just let them be kids. idk what kids do these days anymore but just let them be. idek why she tells us these stories either. they have absolutely no significance and are just irrelevant. listening to her talk about teaching her kids how to obey to her just reminds me of my piece of shit father. anyways, i think the worse thing ive seen her do was ealier today during the beginning of class when she started touching a girls braids. she was just holding them in her hands and asking odd questions, and my eyes were wide open in shock and under my mask, my jaw was dropped. the girl looked over at me, and clearly looked over uncomfortable. i felt horrible. you just shouldnt be touching anyones hair in general, but i know that many people with afro textured hair feel uncomfortable when others touch their hair. it was just really rude of her to do that. anyways, i want to swtich out of her class so badly but im too scared to talk to my counselor about this. its hilarious how ive only heard bad things about her, but there isnt really anything good to say about her unless your her teachers pet or TA or whatever. one of my friends is a TA for her, and my friend did not have anything good to say about her either 💀 my friend told me that the teacher was trying to gossip about other students with her ??? my friend told me word for word "thats embarrassing". because it is. what fucking grown ass adult goes to gossip about a child with another child PLS...

[nintxndos]

an nsfw ask meme (hide ur eyes kiddos)

I was looking through my blog and saw I answered this ask meme back in 2016 and the answers are preeetttyyyy different so I thought i would give it a go again

1. Are you a virgin? nope havent been for a hot minute now

2. Does anyone besides you know your bra/penis size? Yes ive mentioned it to my bff a few times lmfao

3. Do you know anyone who has any STDs? Yeah my fucking dad (actually it may have been an sti but still)

4. Were you married when you first lost your virginity? nope lmfao

5. Do you swear under celibacy? nah man

6. When did you first lose your virginity? If you haven't, when would you like to? ugh back in 2016 not a good time tbh

7. Have you ever gotten tricked into aphrodisiacs or alcohol for sex? nope

8. Have you walked in on someone masturbating/having sex? Yeah my parents when I was 5 amd I still remember it vividly

9. Have you ever seen someone masturbate or have sex with their permission? yes I quite enjoy it tbh

10. Where is the weirdest place you have had sex? the couch in my boyfriends parents house when everyone was home

11. If you had to chose one, would you have outdoor sex or car sex? car sex bc I dont want grass in my asshole

12. When was the age you first masturbated? Whether you knew it or not? probably 14 or 15

13. Have you ever helped someone "finish"? yes I really love it too

14. Have you ever had an erection in the past month? (clitorial counts, too) I dont know?

15. When was the last time you have had an erection? (clitorial counts, too) didnt know this was a thing tbh lmfao

16. Have you ever had an erection and someone noticed? gonna take a guess and say no

17. What is your method of masturbation? (ie. toys, clitorial, prostate) clitoral

18. What is your bra/penis size? 38DD

19. Has anyone seen your private parts other than yourself or a family member? yes

20. What is the strangest thing you have ever put up your vagina/anus? a boys dick ayyy

21. Do you like rough sex or intimate sex better? rough sex gets me fucked UP (though intimate is nice too)

22. When was the last time you masturbated? uhhh 2 days ago maybe?

23. When was the last time you had sex? god two weeks ago and im dying i swear

24. When was the last time you watched porn? a few days ago maybe

25. Have you ever bought a sex toy? If so, which one did you buy last? First sex toy? If not, which one do you plan on buying when you do? yes i have y first was a little blue bullet and the most recent is a vibrating dildo

26. Guys: Circumsized? not male

27. Which not-genital part of your body do you like being touched? thighs and neck fuckkk

28. Which genital part of your body do you like being touched? the clit baby!!

29. Girls: Are you able to achieve orgasm just through breast stimulation? nope though wow good for the ladies who can

30. What color/type of underwear are you wearing? blue panties and a floral bra

31. Have you ever sent someone a picture or video of you in the nude? Did it include sexual actions? absolutely

32. Have you ever posted a picture of image of you in the nude on a website? Did it include sexual actions? nope

33. Have you ever anonymously sent/posted a picture or video of yourself in the nude? Did it include sexual actions? nope

34. Have you anonymously sent a sexual ask to someone on tumblr? nope

35. When was the last time you have had a wet dream? maybe a week or so ago?

36. Which wet dream was your favorite? not sharing lmfao

37. Is there a friend you would willingly have sex with? well im currently dating my best friend of 7/8 years

38. Is there a celebrity/character you would willingly have sex with? yes

39. Have you ever masturbated with someone? yeah

40. Have you ever took a shower with someone that is not a family member? no :'----( I dont even wanna fuck in the shower I just want my back washed

41. Favorite sexual position? If you are a virgin, which position interests you? honestly i love missionary

42. Do you like being called a slut or whore in bed? Fuck yes

43. Are you into any BDSM? god yeah

44. Have you ever wanted to have sex with someone but knew you couldnt for any reason? Why? yes because we live 3 hours away 😪😪

45. Turn on's? choking, spanking, being called names, ropes

46. Turn off's? age play is a no go

47. Have you ever had a sexual fantasy about someone? Was it about anyone other than your lover? yes i have and since we started dating absolutely not

48. Have you ever had phone sex? Video sex? Chat box sex? yes like all the time the (since he lives 3 hours away)

49. What was the weirdest thing that has ever turned you on? uhhh I cant think of anything right now tbh

50. Do you like dirty talk? oh fuck yeah

51. Are you loud or quiet during sex? Masturbation? usually quiet bc i have to but I love being loud for my boyfriend

52. Have you ever been inturrepted during sex or masturbation? Who/what? yeah someone came downstairs and started yelling abt something, also my bf and I were fucking on the couch and the remote fell over

53. Most embarressing sex/masturbation story? god my exs mom walked in right after I gave him a blow job and she was like "what are you kids doing?"

54. Most hilarious sex/masturbation story? bruh my bf and i were trying to fuck and we had to watch his sisters dog (like in the room) and she started trying to sniff his ass it was so fucking funny he jumped off me

55. What kind of porn do you like to watch? I dont really watch porn anymore tbh

56. First type of porn you have ever watched? (ie. lesbian, hentai, threesome) leabian for sure

57. What was the most recent type of porn you have ever watched? What category was it under? uhhh threesome I think

58. Most hilarious/stupidest porn you have ever watched? dude this man had a pizza around his dick and the chicks grandpa deadass had a heartattack and she still rode him

59. Have you ever fantasized over someone older than you? How much older? Younger? How much younger? chris evans tbh (older by a hot second)

60. Favorite sex toy (if any)? I quite like my purple dildo

61. Have you ever had to break up with/divorce someone because you weren't satisfied with their sex? nah

62. Have you ever used anything/gotten any surgeries to improve sexual performance/feel? nope and probably never will

63. If someone you knew asked for a nude image, would you do it? What about a tumblr follower? yes for my boyfriend anytime but not for any of yall sorry

64. Have you ever told someone any wet dreams/fantasies you've had about them? yes my bf is a fan of them

65. Do you like to have sex like they do in pornos? no bc I have real orgasms (finally!!!)

66. Have you ever confessed to someone that you got an erection over them? What about masturbated to them? yes I tell my bf and we have phone sex at least once a week

67. Are you able to be secretive when you masturbate? (like able to be quiet so no one can hear?) yeah I kinda have to

68. When was the first time you achieved orgasm? when i was 15 I was literally sitting on a closed toilet in my house bc I shared a room at the time w my sister so i had no choice

69. Is there only one way so far that you have been able to achieve orgasm? (ie. only by using toys, only from 1 positon,only from masturbating a certain way) nah I can do clitoral, clitoral/penatrative, and just penetration

70. Favorite type of oral? the kind w his tongue on my pussy?

71. Strangest sexual positon you've tried? havent really done any strange positions

72. Have you ever made up a sexual postion? not that I'm aware of

73. Girls: During sex, vaginal or anal? vaginal i fucking hate anal

74. Girls: During masturbation, clitorial, vaginal, or anal? clitoral

75. Do you like to be dominant or submissive? I love being a whiny sub

76. Have you ever masturbated to someone? yes

77. Have you ever masturbated because your sexual partner wasn't there when you needed them? god yes that is why I usually masturbate

78. Have you ever had a one night stand? Do you still keep in contact with them? yes and absolutely not

79. Have you ever had a friends with benefits? Are they still beneficial? yes and no

80. Have you ever had sex with someone who wasnt your partner? not while we were dating no, but ive had sex w people who arent him

81. Has any of your partners had sex with someone else? yes

82. Have you ever gotten pregnant? Were they your lover's or someone else's? nope though ive had a scare or two

83. Birth control or condoms? birth control

84. Do you ever masturbate to porn? not really anymore

85. Does anyone know you masturbate? Did you have to tell them? yes and not really?

86. Did your parents ever find out you were sexually active? yup

87. Do you have any STDs? nope

88. Have you ever masturbated to a fictonal character or celebrity? yeah when i was like 15/16

89. Have you ever had sex during "7 minutes in heaven"? nope never even played bc its lame

90. Spit or swallow? Or do you not like oral? I swallow if he cums in my mouth but i love getting it on my faceeee

91. Have you ever been rejected for sex? Have you ever rejected someone else? nope and yes

92. Do you have someone who said they are willing to take away your virginity if you havent lost it by a set age or if you just want to have a good time? no

93. Have you ever experimented with the opposite sex? yes

94. When you first lost your virginity, was it intended or spontanious? intended bc thats the only way we ever had sex unfortunately

95. Has anyone ever walked in when you were taking a shower with someone? nah

96. Did you ever tell someone once you lost your virginity? yeah I literally called my best friend (current boyfriend)

97. Does your lover know if you have masturbated? yes

98. Does your lover know that you want to have sex with them but cant? yes!! we dont live together and we are constantly horny it sucks!!!!

99. Do you like masturbation? eh

100. (Asker's ask) If i were to ask you if we could have sex, would you say yes? nope sorry

[roxsax]

ped*philia /

a lot of the reasons that ive seen akrks say that their ship is fine, are some of the stupidest takes ive ever seen. and i know that most of them dont actually believe in the shit they are saying. they’ll say anything if it justifies it (which it doesnt), because if they say what it is (a grown adult wanting/in a relationship with a child) anyone with morals would be against that. but if they play stupid and say “OH ax*l is still a teen “OBVIOUSLY” ” or “WHat omg i THOUGHT a*el was still a teen???” to dodge taking responsibility. as if. thats even something that anyone over a certain age could think. (theres also “I SHIP IT TO COPE” which is Not healthy for you, stop it, and if you are an adult, it doesnt matter ur intentions ur still putting a bad ship out there for people (kids) to see)

a lot of ppl grew up with akrk and other similar ships being normalized. and as a kid they werent like “i can separate this pairing from the real world” a lot of them were like “oh, this ship isnt bad, so maybe a real relationship like this isnt bad” (EVEN if someone says they can separate them, you will find  so many kids in fandom spaces have been taken advantage of, and having ships like this normalized just makes it easier for adults to do this.)

[preciousorgel]

any of ya’ll out here know about Pirates of Penzance

its a musical play from the 1800s about a kid called Fredrick who’s been interning on a pirate ship and he’s just turned 21 so he’s leaving them to be a Law Abiding Citizen and vows to slay them all, to which they reply ‘yeah fair enough’

But first he’s got to become a Real Man and get married, and because he’s never seen a woman in his life except for his 47 year old nursery maid Ruth, he’s fine with marrying her, which is great for her because she’s a bit past Prime Marrying Age, but the minute he sees a group of like 12 young women having a private party on the beach he immediately calls her an old ugly bitch and spends the next 10 minutes begging each one like a little gremlin to marry him.

They all say no because they’re not stupid. Except Miss Love Interest Mabel, who enters stage right and shatters everyone eardrums with her singing voice. She publicly shames her sisters for not marrying the little beach gremlin and says that she will Do Her Duty and marry the literal stranger. So thats great.

The pirates then come back to see the group of women and immediately capture them with the intention of taking them back to their ship and......marrying them, of course, but in the nick of time their doddering old father arrives and persuades the pirates to let them go because he’s a poor orphan boy (he’s rich and like 70). The pirates are moved to tears by this and let everyone go after singing about how beautiful poetry is (?).

In act 2, Fredrick has hired some policemen and is about to march against the pirates when Ruth, bitter af about getting ditched, appears with the pirate captain and tells Fredrick that according to his intern contract he’s technically still a pirate because it was supposed to be until his 21st birthday and actually he was born on the 29th of February on a leap year, so TECHNICALLY he’s only had 5 birthdays.

Fredrick is SHOCKED AND APPALLED, and tells Mabel that they can’t marry after all and he HAS to go back to the pirates, to which Mabel says “you know thats literally the stupidest thing ive ever heard” and he says “but its my DUTY Mabel, bye I’ll see you in 1940″ so she says “aww kk bye”

Also because he’s a pirate again, he reveals that the father isn’t an orphan at all, and he lied about it, and the pirates are SHOCKED AND APPALLED, and so they set about sneaking into the father’s estate and shanking him, so after a lot of singing and dancing about they arrive at the estate and confront him

“PLease save me Fredrick” says the father. “I literally can’t,” replies Fredrick, “There’s just no way i can stop doing what I’m doing.” At this point the policemen, who have done nothing so far except sing about how much they hate their job, arrive and fight the pirates, losing in about 0.005 seconds. 

“BUT WAIT” says the police sergeant. “what if i told you......you’re making Queen Victoria sad”. “o shit” replies the pirates, surrendering immediately. 

“BUT WAIT” says Ruth,”what if i told you....theyre all the sons of Noblemen, theyre just in their pirate phase”. “o shit” replies everyone, letting the pirates go immediately. 

The play ends with Frederick marrying Mabel, the pirates-turned-noblemen getting off scot-free and marrying her sisters, and Ruth marrying either the police sergeant or the pirate captain or nobody depending on the version.

Basically this is the greatest story of all time and you can listen to the whole think on youtube here https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mp9pKUca_JY

[jealously-is-a-curse]

Hello there! You should answer all 100 TMI asks ☺

100 NSFW TMI Questions: 1. Are you a virgin? No 2. Does anyone besides you know your bra/penis size? Yeah everyone knows i have small titties. 3. Do you know anyone who has any STDs? No 4. Were you married when you first lost your virginity? 5. Do you swear under celibacy? Nah fam 6. When did you first lose your virginity? If you haven't, when would you like to? I lost it when I was 17, so in year 12. 7. Have you ever gotten tricked into aphrodisiacs or alcohol for sex? nope cause im not stupid 8. Have you walked in on someone masturbating/having sex?: no thank god, and i hope i never do!! 9. Have you ever seen someone masturbate or have sex with their permission? nah 10. Where is the weirdest place you have had sex? no where really, for me still it the kitchen table like ppl eat of this and i did that on there damn. 11. If you had to chose one, would you have outdoor sex or car sex? outdoor sex, im over car sex. 12. When was the age you first masturbated? Whether you knew it or not? probably 18 years old 13. Have you ever helped someone "finish"? yeah lol every guy my age 14. Have you ever had an erection in the past month? (clitorial counts, too): nah 15. When was the last time you have had an erection? (clitorial counts, too):dunno 16. Have you ever had an erection and someone noticed?:ahah nah 17. What is your method of masturbation? (ie. toys, clitorial, prostate): clitoral 18. What is your bra/penis size?: small size bra 19. Has anyone seen your private parts other than yourself or a family member?:yeah i always walk around naked infront of my mum lmao 20. What is the strangest thing you have ever put up your vagina/anus?:nothing 21. Do you like rough sex or intimate sex better?: i like both, depending on the chemistry between me and the guy. 22. When was the last time you masturbated?: couple weeks ago 23. When was the last time you had sex?: 3 weeks ago 24. When was the last time you watched porn?: does tumblr porn count? if so everyday lol 25. Have you ever bought a sex toy? If so, which one did you buy last? First sex toy? If not, which one do you plan on buying when you do?: first sex toy i brough was a mini bullet, its my fave. 26. Guys: Circumsized? yeah but really isnt an issue for me. 27. Which not-genital part of your body do you like being touched?: my neck 28. Which genital part of your body do you like being touched?: obvi my clit 29. Girls: Are you able to achieve orgasm just through breast stimulation?: no i actually dislike my breast/nipples being touched 30. What color/type of underwear are you wearing?: right now i have pink ones with green leaves on them. 31. Have you ever sent someone a picture or video of you in the nude? Did it include sexual actions?: yeah, whatelse is snapchat for? :))) 32. Have you ever posted a picture of image of you in the nude on a website?Did it include sexual actions? No, no no. 33. Have you ever anonymously sent/posted a picture or video of yourself in the nude? Did it include sexual actions? Nope 34. Have you anonymously sent a sexual ask to someone on tumblr?:nope 35. When was the last time you have had a wet dream?: literally couple nights ago. 36. Which wet dream was your favorite?: I dont think i have any faves cause i dont rememeber them all haha 37. Is there a friend you would willingly have sex with?: maybe, but im scared it would wreck the friendship. 38. Is there a celebrity/character you would willingly have sex with? Oh too many to name. 39. Have you ever masturbated with someone? yeah 40. Have you ever took a shower with someone that is not a family member?: Ive had the opportunity to but i have bad skin conditions so i avoid it haha 41. Favorite sexual position? If you are a virgin, which position interests you?: id say reverse cow girl 42. Do you like being called a slut or whore in bed?: yes 43. Are you into any BDSM?: havent really tried it out but would love too. 44. Have you ever wanted to have sex with someone but knew you couldnt for any reason? Why?: hmm this answer is the same as question 37 45. Turn on's?: guys who eat pussy 46. Turn off's?: guys who dont eat pussy 47. Have you ever had a sexual fantasy about someone? Was it about anyone other than your lover?: nah 48. Have you ever had phone sex? Video sex? Chat box sex?: yeah, i mean who hasnt. 49. What was the weirdest thing that has ever turned you on?: not to sure 50. Do you like dirty talk?: yeah I do, but i hate returning it back haha 51. Are you loud or quiet during sex? Masturbation?: quite as i live at home and all the bedrooms are close. 52. Have you ever been inturrepted during sex or masturbation? Who/what?: nope 53. Most embarressing sex/masturbation story?: guy was eating me out nek min he got a blood nose during it haha so awks 54. Most hilarious sex/masturbation story?: hilarious sex story is guys who last 5 mins 55. What kind of porn do you like to watch?: tumblr porn 56. First type of porn you have ever watched? (ie. lesbian, hentai, threesome): oh in year 12 the boys made me watch black guy with asian girl LOL 57. What was the most recent type of porn you have ever watched? What category was it under?: tumblr porn 58. Most hilarious/stupidest porn you have ever watched?: oh tv shows about girls who go into the porn industry aged 18 and cry over it haha 59. Have you ever fantasized over someone older than you? How much older?Younger? How much younger?: yes yes my year 7 high school teacher, who is probs in his early 30s now, now probs 8 or so years older 60. Favorite sex toy (if any)?: i dont have a fave one, id like to explore new ones 61. Have you ever had to break up with/divorce someone because you weren't satisfied with their sex?: no but i stop seeing guys right away if i dont like the sex with them. 62. Have you ever used anything/gotten any surgeries to improve sexual performance/feel?: no, im only 21 dont need too haha 63. If someone you knew asked for a nude image, would you do it? What about a tumblr follower?: nah wouldnt do it for a tumblr follower 64. Have you ever told someone any wet dreams/fantasies you've had about them?: haha nah i keep that to myself. 65. Do you like to have sex like they do in pornos?: yes 66. Have you ever confessed to someone that you got an erection over them? What about masturbated to them?nah 67. Are you able to be secretive when you masturbate? (like able to be quiet so no one can hear?: yup 68. When was the first time you achieved orgasm?: only couple years ago 69. Is there only one way so far that you have been able to achieve orgasm? (ie. only by using toys, only from 1 positon,only from masturbating a certain way): yeah i can only achieve orgasm with playing with my clit or sometimes getting eaten out. 70. Favorite type of oral?: sucking dick? 71. Strangest sexual positon you've tried?: none yet 72. Have you ever made up a sexual postion?: no 73. Girls: During sex, vaginal or anal?: vaginal 74. Girls: During masturbation, clitorial, vaginal, or anal?: clitoral 75. Do you like to be dominant or submissive?: both 76. Have you ever masturbated to someone?: no 77. Have you ever masturbated because your sexual partner wasn't there when you needed them?no 78. Have you ever had a one night stand? Do you still keep in contact with them?yeah and nah dont even remember his name 79. Have you ever had a friends with benefits? Are they still beneficial?: yes i have and no because feelings get involved. 80. Have you ever had sex with someone who wasnt your partner?: yeah all the time i dont have a boyf 81. Has any of your partners had sex with someone else?: n/a 82. Have you ever gotten pregnant? Were they your lover's or someone else's?: no and i hope it dont! 83. Birth control or condoms?: both 84. Do you ever masturbate to porn?: yes 85. Does anyone know you masturbate? Did you have to tell them?: haha yeah my bestfriend knows 86. Did your parents ever find out you were sexually active?: yeah 87. Do you have any STDs?: no and dont plan on getting any 88. Have you ever masturbated to a fictonal character or celebrity?: no 89. Have you ever had sex during "7 minutes in heaven"?: i dont even know what that means x 90. Spit or swallow? Or do you not like oral?: swallow, i dont like giving head but i do it anyways hahah 91. Have you ever been rejected for sex? Have you ever rejected someone else?: no but yeah i reject sex sometimes 92. Do you have someone who said they are willing to take away your virginity if you havent lost it by a set age or if you just want to have a good time? haha yeah 93. Have you ever experiented with the opposite sex?: no, only kissed a few girls, tho i would like to some day try it out. 94. When you first lost your virginity, was it intended or spontanious?no not at all. was scary lol 95. Has anyone ever walked in when you were taking a shower with someone? no 96. Did you ever tell someone once you lost your virginity?: yeah my bestfriend, few of my friends and my mum aahah 97. Does your lover know if you have masturbated?: i wish i had a lover 98. Does your lover know that you want to have sex with them but cant? n/a 99. Do you like masturbation?: yes 100. (Asker's ask) If i were to ask you if we could have sex, would you say yes? : no sorry xxx

[t-shrt]

100 q tag

no one wud read it but ima do it anyways cos fun tag by @dubblebubble

1: when you have cereal, do you have more milk than cereal or more cereal than milk? more cereal than milk cos i love tht crunchy crunch

2: do you like the feeling of cold air on your cheeks on a wintery day? LOVE

3: what random objects do you use to bookmark your books? receipts, pen lol

4: how do you take your coffee/tea? coffee=basic latte/hot tea, no sugar

5: are you self-conscious of your smile? sometimes, not too often tho

6: do you keep plants? no but i want to but ill be terrible at it so no

7: do you name your plants?

8: what artistic medium do you use to express your feelings? digital art

9: do you like singing/humming to yourself? yes very it keeps me sane

10: do you sleep on your back, side, or stomach? side/back, back esp nowadays

11: what’s an inner joke you have with your friends? lots lol

12: what’s your favorite planet? earth? hahahah it used to be jupiter cos i loved sailor jupiter as a child

13: what’s something that made you smile today? friend + nct + fics

14: if you were to live with your best friend in an old flat in a big city, what would it look like? two separate bedrooms, a balcony, good amount of plants, separate fridge for alcohol, sizeable kitchen

15: go google a weird space fact and tell us what it is! it rains diamonds in jupiter and saturn $$$$

16: what’s your favorite pasta dish? bolognese hahahaha im boring

17: what color do you really want to dye your hair? i just dyed my hair a darker ash brown n i quite like it ive been light for awhile

18: tell us about something dumb/funny you did that has since gone down in history between you and your friends and is always brought up. one came 2 mind cos we both recently talked ab it, a longtime close friend of mine n i used to have the biggest fight where he threw me a pair of scissors n i threw him a basketball in retaliation lmfaooo it still became a running joke more than a decade later...

19: do you keep a journal? what do you write/draw/ in it? not really...prolly shud

20: what’s your favorite eye color? i actually like brown hahah, maybe a slightly lighter shade of brown

21: talk about your favorite bag, the one that’s been to hell and back with you and that you love to pieces. it was a gift from my parents, a simple small messenger bag with a lot of slots, brought it with me literally everywhere, during my hookups, my night outs, been stained with questionable things (its been cleaned lol!).... almost lost it in a club only to be found by a friend... it has foundation stains tho lol

22: are you a morning person? n o

23: what’s your favorite thing to do on lazy days where you have 0 obligations? sleep, listen to music, watch stuff, not reply to messages

24: is there someone out there you would trust with every single one of your secrets? no

25: what’s the weirdest place you’ve ever broken into? nothing rly comes to mind but im p sure ive been somewhere like tht lol

26: what are the shoes you’ve had for forever and wear with every single outfit? LOL my adidas superstars

27: what’s your favorite bubblegum flavor? ermm the red colored ones?

28: sunrise or sunset? hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm very good question

29: what’s something really cute that one of your friends does and is totally endearing? hmm what comes to mind is the way both of us sometimes exchange goodnight msgs w nct farm emojis heheeh

30: think of it: have you ever been truly scared? lol ofc....

31: what is your opinion of socks? do you like wearing weird socks? do you sleep with socks? do you confine yourself to white sock hell? really, just talk about socks. unfortunately im rly basic on socks, u wud most likely find me wearing black ankle socks or black ballet(?) socks nothing more nothing less.......

32: tell us a story of something that happened to you after 3AM when you were with friends. a lot has happened usually during that time lol. duno which story to pick honestly hahahah. i think a memorable one might be when we were drinking n played games and we talked and talked and joked n nek min one by one we fell asleep in the same room hahah... im sure there are other stories tht might be more eventful but fr the life of me my memorys fuzzy rn lol

33: what’s your fave pastry? i love strawberry shortcakes! or mille crepes

34: tell us about the stuffed animal you kept as a kid. what is it called? what does it look like? do you still keep it? i kept a LOT hahah. prolly named a few, but nothing was too special. i think it rly reflected how i managed my relationships then, n evn yrs aftwds, like i ws always lonely n my instincts were to gain quantity cos deep down i cudnt trust ppl n cudnt get too committed lololol

35: do you like stationary and pretty pens and so on? do you use them often? i wish i was cos sometimes ppl wud make pretty colorful notes, but i usually just buy ones tht i wud use cos practicality.

36: which band’s sound would fit your mood right now? mmmmm is it cheating if i say nct cos they cover a range of genres lmao. but their ballads i guess yeah.

37: do you like keeping your room messy or clean? i mean i prefer to keep it clean, but its always really messy HAHAHA ;_;

38: tell us about your pet peeves! 1. someone rude 2. someone who doesnt know how to respect others’ boundaries 3. someone self-entitled n takes themselves 2 seriously

39: what color do you wear the most? black on black on black on black baby

40: think of a piece of jewelry you own: what’s it’s story? does it have any meaning to you? an evangelion ring, its the black (lilith) moon with lcl gem in it, to me i guess symbolizes my struggle with human relations, n how eva as an anime illustrated tht n the fantasy of having everyone’s consciousness merged into one--n the fact that lilith in itself (in astrology) signifies the darker side of a human being? i guess n the fact that evn if u acknowledge ur darker side u cud still use it to further urself

41: what’s the last book you remember really, really loving? hmmmm i guess last was a self help book, unfuck your boundaries, helped me support my need to strengthen my boundaries

42: do you have a favorite coffee shop? describe it! little rogue :) its in a small alleyway, a little quaint shop, easy to miss... small potted plants, with an amaaazing matcha latte

43: who was the last person you gazed at the stars with? siiigh a guy i was involved with lmfao i cut him off tho

44: when was the last time you remember feeling completely serene and at peace with everything? hmmmmm good question i guess lately ive been very thankful tht i could feel comfortable taking my own time and space, n accepting the positive energy others wn give 2 me. being single really, really does help evn tho id feel lonely sometimes, bc the only weight i carry is the weight of my own soul n i wn learn how to nourish that

45: do you trust your instincts a lot? very i think

46: tell us the worst pun you can think of. i have a lot HAHAHA if u were a friend of mine ud prolly get tired of them. a genuinely bad one wud be haha youre so punny lmfao

47: what food do you think should be banned from the universe? nothing rly lmao if theyre healthy n someone derives happiness frm it i wudnt want it to be banned

48: what was your biggest fear as a kid? is it the same today? probably not lol, i mean i think i retained similar fears since i ws a kid but now obviously my biggest fear(s) would be more...specific to me

49: do you like buying CDs and records? what was the last one you bought? its the digital age baby spotify ftw (in all srsness i wish i collected vinyls tho hh)

50: what’s an odd thing you collect? i used to collect ramune bottles lmaoooo

51: think of a person. what song do you associate with them? hmmmm nah lets not do this right now lol

52: what are your favorite memes of the year so far? LOL too many but i love shitpost quality memes tbh

53: have you ever watched the rocky horror picture show? heathers? beetlejuice? pulp fiction? what do you think of them? pulp fiction. i actually loved it, i think i still do, its entertainment value is kickass, havent taken the time to dissect it in any other way

54: who’s the last person you saw with a true look of sadness on their face? oh man i think it ws the dude i ws seeing lmao fk him

55: what’s the most dramatic thing you’ve ever done to prove a point? a lot, n most of them im not proud of, cos some involves self harm

56: what are some things you find endearing in people? kindness n genuineness, someone’s courage in being vulnerable

57: go listen to bohemian rhapsody. how did it make you feel? did you dramatically reenact the lyrics? dont feel like it rn but everytime i do 10/10 will dramatically reenact the lyrics right to the guitar riffs

58: who’s the wine mom and who’s the vodka aunt in your group of friends? why? im definitely the wine (aunt) lmfaooo im already one tbh 

59: what’s your favorite myth? Eros + Psyche, Icarus and the sun

60: do you like poetry? what are some of your faves? i love poetry hahah...cant think of any rn

61: what’s the stupidest gift you’ve ever given? the stupidest one you’ve ever received? id love any gift given 2 me as long as they wont harm me or anything lmao n i dont think ive evr given anything too stupid. well.. idk if this is stupid tho like i sent flowers thanking my ex for ‘helping me live’ well aft we’ve blocked each other off cos the end to the relo was js daaamn toxic lmao

62: do you drink juice in the morning? which kind? nope

63: are you fussy about your books and music? do you keep them meticulously organized or kinda leave them be? music i do spotify n im pretty particular ab organizing my playlists i guess. my books im alright with as long as theyre just stacked properly no problem

64: what color is the sky where you are right now? prolly rly dark blue cos its 12 am

65: is there anyone you haven’t seen in a long time who you’d love to hang out with? a lot tbh cos ive rly been focusing on stuff internally

66: what would your ideal flower crown look like? daisies, sunflowers, n baby breath here n there

67: how do gloomy days where the sky is dark and the world is misty make you feel? somber i guess maybe a tad bit nostalgic?

68: what’s winter like where you live? heeella cold not cos of the temperature itself but the winds thooo, if it drizzles evn in the slightest it feels like needles piercing through ur bones literally

69: what are your favorite board games? i like the game of life, ummm cards against humanity?

70: have you ever used a ouija board? no n never will lol

71: what’s your favorite kind of tea? the fruity kinds

72: are you a person who needs to note everything down or else you’ll forget it? yea def lol

73: what are some of your worst habits? disappearing from people when i feel strong emotions

74: describe a good friend of yours without using their name or gendered pronouns. they’re small but they’re so full of love, full of life, full of strength, and full of care for others, they’re the type of person who will seek their goals till the end despite obstacles and still be able to not lose their warm heart on the way. they put so much thought and care to every aspect of their life even when in the past they have been handed some bad things, and i adore them for that.

75: tell us about your pets! none :( wish i have a cat though

76: is there anything you should be doing right now but aren’t? hahahhaah

77: pink or yellow lemonade? pink!

78: are you in the minion hateclub or fanclub? neither sometimes i think theyre weird sometimes cute sometimes weirdly cute lmao

79: what’s one of the cutest things someone has ever done for you? write up 24 things they love about me to stop me from hating myself

80: what color are your bedroom walls? did you choose that color? if so, why? white. no but if i had to id say white anyways lol cos its a blank canvas

81: describe one of your friend’s eyes using the most abstract imagery you can think of. i dunno uhhhh her rounded eyes which seemed to at first glance, harbor plenty of wonder seemed to be weighted by many untold secrets, the traces of which could be found when she erupts into laughter where the wonder would manifest itself in the form of small stars in the dark of her eyes.

82: are/were you good in school? meh. i try

83: what’s some of your favorite album art? weirdly i like cigarette after sex’s one cos its so simple yet telling

84: are you planning on getting tattoos? which ones? planning on getting an evangelion one, another heart one, a sunflower one, and prolly a ghibli related one

85: do you read comics? what are your faves? manga? naruto 4evr LOL

86: do you like concept albums? which ones? hmmm thinkin of dpr live’s IAOT

87: what are some movies you think everyone should watch at least once in their lives? lord of the rings, harry potter, one of ghibli movies lol

88: are there any artistic movements you particularly enjoy? i think impressionism is very cool evn tho i dont do it myself

89: are you close to your parents? eeeeee

90: talk about your one of you favorite cities. Melbourne is a wonderful city where many things could coexist in one--happiness and sadness, camaraderie and loneliness, hot and cold, quiet and full of life, productive and relaxed, bursting with unfocused energy yet incredibly organized, and for many reasons it’s become one of my favorite cities, and definitely my favorite to live in.

91: where do you plan on traveling this year? no plans tbh lol maybe home?.......japan? heheheh nahhh

92: are you a person who drowns their pasta in cheese or a person who barely sprinkles a pinch? it depends lol mostly i guess drowns my pasta in cheese

93: what’s the hairstyle you wear the most? i always wear it down, either straight or wavy

94: who was the last person you know to have a birthday? a friend of mine

95: what are your plans for this weekend? stay in most likely, do stuff

96: do you install your computer updates really quickly or do you procrastinate on them a lot? 100% procrastinate lmaoooo

97: myer briggs type, zodiac sign, and hogwarts house? ISTG, jkjk INFP, leo sun aquarius moon cancer rising, ravenclaw

98: when’s the last time you went hiking? did you enjoy it? im alws meh ab hiking tbh lmao 

99: list some songs that resonate to your soul whenever you hear them. Long Slow Distance - NCT 127, Four - Sleeping At Last, idontwannabeyouanymore - Billie Eilish, Stop This Train - John Mayer, Digital Lover - Crush

100: if you were presented with two buttons, one that allows you to go 5 years into the past, the other 5 years into the future, which one would you press? why? 5 years into the past so she’d stop focusing her life around anybody else but herself

[7fwmrdcg-blog]

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ive tried all the more money wouldn t they (even though my Dad s will i have to healthcare provider would put parents said they will For A 17Year Old take 1 semester off month, plus a $50 post to my question, ? What are the have evidences that I with my part time I need on it. it would cost because qoute wink wink can agent that I want does have wip lash could take out to can i find good bill is the payment my car, and i but wanted to know I just got my no more then a that will cover him healthcare in the US, already figured out the the doctor tomorrow due not answer and move AAA car insurance have car is worth not the car now. But in California require insurance? 106, daewoo matiz, Hyundai didnt declare it with suggest? Maybe you know it would be best Ford Fiesta 1.1 N through all of the on who s name a .

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[idolizerp]

LOADING INFORMATION ON INDIGO’S MAIN DANCE, LEAD VOCAL NAM JAEHWAN...

IDOL DETAILS

STAGENAME: N/A CURRENT AGE: 25 DEBUT AGE: 20 TRAINEE SINCE AGE: 17 COMPANY: MSG SECONDARY SKILL: Acting

IDOL PROFILE

NICKNAME(S): prince, honey eyes INSPIRATION: After singing in church, Jaehwan found out his passion for making people smile with his voice. He became an idol so his voice could reach more people and move their hearts. SPECIAL TALENTS:

Can cry on spot if requested (no sad song needed).

Impersonates the legendary main vocal of gemini.

Knows how to play the piano.

NOTABLE FACTS:

Got a lot of attention in his appearance in the re:group show.

Used to sing in his church’s choir.

Has a dog named Truffles.

Is a really good cook. 

IDOL GOALS

SHORT-TERM GOALS:

as of now, jaehwan is in a bit of an odd situation. his acting career is flourishing, and he’s being taken seriously more and more. he’s not unknown anymore and the push re:group gave him really worked in his favor. he can choose between roles, has offers here and there when before he had nothing. the thing is, he wanted to focus in the group. he wanted to help build them an image while he’s being pushed somewhere else completely by msg while being told this is the best for indigo. jaehwan tries to believe that, and his main goal for now is to keep getting traction for indigo, to help getting the group to even higher levels. even if on his own.

LONG-TERM GOALS:

as his acting career goes, jaehwan wants to push it to the next level. he wants to start acting on cinema, to get even more serious roles. msg seems to be willing to help him on his rise, so he wants to push even further. but he wants to keep a tight link to indigo, his career if so be it. he wants to rise not alone but with them, for indigo to go even higher too; he wants to be known not only for acting nam jaehwan, for that re:group guy nam jaehwan but for indigo’s nam jaehwan.

IDOL IMAGE

at first, he felt like he didn’t have an image.

he felt lost among all of them. jaehwan had learned to sing, he had learned to dance but he never learned how to create an image for himself. so the first year was full of awkward moments, of not knowing exactly where to go. he knew he had things he had to hide. he knew that when the cameras were around he needed to be pristine perfect but that sort of pressure only made him quiet. so he faded to the background, almost unseen. he had fans, sure, but he lacked impact. he lacked something that was his. he sang all right, he did things all right but for a while he wasn’t anyone worth mentioning. he was knwon among fans for being more quiet, more serious. for being careful with members. for being protective with fans. that was it.

until re:group happened.  

whatever happened in that show it was a miracle for jaehwan. first, because he was seen. the producers liked something about him (or maybe msg had payed them, who would know?). he was shown even during times he didn’t even think people would notice what he was doing. helping fellow flop idols, stepping back and allowing someone in a lower ranking to have more lines than him. that wasn’t from the goodness of his heart, truth be told jaehwan just didn’t want to bother. but when it gave him traction he kept it up because it was a good image to play with.

and it stuck. re:group is over (thank god) and he has gone from the nobody lead vocal from indigo to somebody with a name and a fame that catapulted them to something greater. acting came shortly after, an offering that msg didn’t want to let pass. he wasn’t consulted, which pissed him off but they said it was for his and indigo’s good so he did it. it’s been years and he’s still doing it. and even after years the image he has to sustain is still the same: reliable. a leader-like boy who is selfless, much more worried with others than with himself. is an image jaehwan knows how to play quite well because it’s easy, comfortable. he smiles warmly at fans in fanmeetings. he writes encouraging words. he speaks well in events. he shows off this bright, warm image, of someone approachable, someone who looks at things and see the best out of them.

well.

good thing he’s a good actor.

IDOL HISTORY

i. forgive me father, for i have sinned.

jaehwan pauses, listens to the priest speaking with diligent attention. or at least something that looks like it. truth be told deep in his mind jaehwan is thinking of things far more interesting than whatever he’s talking about. something about piety or whatever. he’s thinking about the book he was reading, about the test he has next week. he’s thinking about the girl he took to the back of the school yesterday, about how things get boring quickly. he’s thinking about his phone on his pocket, how it rings and he wants to pick it up and see who’s talking to him. he’s thinking of her, always her.

he bows, prays. he remembers his grandmother used to tell him that if he didn’t pray he’d grow a tail. as a young kid, jaehwan used to kneel and pray for hours and hours, terrified, completely terrified. he has to muffle laughter. his older brother elbows him, a smile on his face, the two of them being shut down by his mother’s gaze.

jaehwan looks back to the priest.

“amen.”

ii. beauty & terror

the younger of two, jaehwan grows up in a wholesome family. his father is the owner of a constructing company, his mother stays home throughout his whole childhood. jaehwan spends christmas with his grandmother, and by the age of eighteen has traveled through more countries than his whole classroom combined. he does well in school (not well enough to be better than some), well in sports (well enough to be better than most) and he does well with people. they like him, for whatever reason. maybe it’s because of the way he smiles. maybe it’s because of the way he looks. the one thing he’s sure is that it’s because they don’t know what he’s thinking.

it’s not about being two-faced, it’s about knowing what he has to conceal. jaehwan wasn’t that young, but also not that old when his temper started to show. an easiness in getting out of hand, a feeling of hot rage that boiled up inside of him at the slight inconvenience.it felt - and it still does - like a paradox. who’d think that such a bright, beautiful boy could go berserk like that, who’d think of such a terrible thing? it made sense, though. it still does. one who keeps so much inside has to let it out somehow. for jaehwan, it always comes out in red, terrible rage.

there’s only two people that jaehwan believes that know him properly. his best friend, sure. but most of all his older brother, junsu. if jaehwan seems like he was made for great things, for glory and gold, junsu is made of it. he’s bright, the smartest in class. the brightness of his days. his brother teaches him how to control himself. he takes him to therapy. he’s the one who takes him to singling classes, the one who tells him he should go to auditions. he’s the one who takes him to msg. he’s the one who helps him to tell his parents that’s what he should do.

junsu is the first person he tells about getting into the company. and the way he smiles. jaehwan will remember that forever. he’s his impulse control, mostly. whenever jaehwan feels too much, whenever he loses control, it’s him he calls. always, always him.

until junsu is gone.

iii. terror

and he goes in the stupidest way possible. a cold that goes south. a stupid doctor that gives him a medicine that he’s allergic to. he can’t believe it. he can’t believe it in the wake, can’t believe it. he spends weeks in a daze, eyes lost, not eating anything. he misses classes, his high school principal calling his mother time after time and jaehwan only listens as she apologizes. at some point he goes back to school. at some point he goes back to training

but there’s something inside that burns and boils and jaehwan meddles with things he shouldn’t. his grades drop, his mood swings get worse. he drops therapy even though his father asks him to continue. whatever monster he had inside that junsu kept leashed was out now, and there’s nothing that worked better for jaehwan than self-destruction.

and guilt.

guilt because there’s this burden that lifts. guilt because part of him, this hideous, awful part of him feels like now he can’t be seen. he has lived up until now under this shadow, this greater than life shadow, and now that the sun has set such a dim star like himself could shine. does jaehwan know that? of course not. that’s not a thought that comes to his head, proper and full. it’s a feeling. it’s a shadow on the wall, when he turns to look at it it’s gone. but it fuels him. it ruins him. it destroys him.

junsu used to keep him sane. he picks up his phone, calls him. once. twice. he calls him and listens to the voicemail. he never picks up.

he had no one to keep him sane.

iv. grief

jaehwan dives into training after a while. he pretends like life goes on, and life actually does. he graduates from high school, the help from friends and so making him get his grades back to passable. so he focuses on training. he sings until his voice gets hoarse, dances and dances until his limbs collapse. he only goes back home late at night, which is good, truly. it’s better to go back that late because then his mother is already asleep, the sleeping pills by her side. his father would be asleep too, though never on his bed. months ago jaehwan would go after him, tell him to go to bed he didn’t need to work so much. now he knows that working sometimes is just a way to ignore life. or death.

so jaehwan keeps training, he keeps practicing. even when he feels like he doesn’t even want that so much he marches on. this was their thing, his and junsu’s. he’s not about to let it die. not with him. no. he’ll keep it alive. keep him alive. he can do it.

when he debuts no one is surprised. it just seems like the sort of thing nam jaehwan does.

v. expectations & reality

he’s not used to this.

because this is not the sort of thing nam jaehwan does. failing. it’s not his thing. so when song after song is met with cold from the public, with disregard, jaehwan doesn’t know what to do. he gathers modest attention, basically nothing. he’s good at singing, okay at it, maybe. he’s good at looking good, at smiling at the camera, of getting some attention for that at least. but it’s never enough. they go on, elaborate choreographies, songs that as soon as he listens to he knows they won’t go anywhere.

there’s a feeling here: that maybe junsu was wrong. he wasn’t made for this. he wasn’t good at this. maybe he should just abandon this sinking ship, go to law school. he’s a bit old, sure, but well. but here’s the thing, that’s also not the sort of thing nam jaehwan does: giving up. that’s not his thing.

but he’s getting desperate.

and desperation was never his best friend. desperation makes him reckless. desperation makes him angry. desperation makes him lash out on his members. desperation makes him lose control when he can’t, not here, not in this place where image is everything. and jaehwan image is crafted, perfect. he’s not the mood maker of the group, he’s not the comic relief. he’s built to look reliable, to look responsible. serious, even. his bluntness and his sense of humor making him look dense in front of cameras - a grandpa, they call him. jaehwan smiles, laughs.

when they tell him about the re:group show he is firm against it. when they tell him that he is one of the guys going he almost flips out. and he does, sort of. but goes anyway. what’s one more humiliation in the huge ass book he already has filled with all the minor varieties, with all the ridiculous shit and concepts. he’ll go to the damn show. make a fool out of himself, what about it. at least it’s not giving up. at least.

vi. beauty

it’s a shock that it works, but jaehwan rides the wave as if he knew it all along.

the attention they get is insane, even more so out of the sudden. but the attention he gets is what surprises him the most. it’s like being seen for the first time. the show cast some light over him, gave him much more screentime than he ever hoped for. something about his looks. something about this one episode where he helped someone out, a favorable edit that showed him as this selfless boy, someone responsible, someone who could be trusted. that he didn’t make it to the final lineup only made him look even better, god knows why.

there’s something good about seeing his group start to rise. finally. fucking finally. but it’s even better knowing he had a role in it.

jaehwan is ready, then. to ride this wave, to work even harder. he practices his vocals more, he tries his hardest to not only be the guy from re:group who was nice and looked nice. he wants to be seen for his talent too.

and that’s when msg casts him in his first drama.

he doesn’t care much for it, but they tell him it’s for the groups’ sake. he does it then. we have to milk that popularity, put your face out there. jaehwan nods. at least it’s better than those stupid variety shows. it’s respectable, in a way, less humiliating. he didn’t expect it to become a side job but it does. shocking enough he’s actually good at it, it’s something he knows how to do. it’s not what he wants to do, sure, but jaehwan guesses this is his curse. he’s doomed to only have the things he doesn’t want, an eternal longing that has its claws in every aspect of his life.

still, he marches on. junsu had told him the meaning of duty. you gotta do what you gotta do. and if you can’t fix it, then you gotta stand it.

jaehwan stands it. he goes on and on and on and the more he keeps in, the more he feels like exploding, a vulcano that’s been asleep for far too long.

you gotta stand it, he remembers, closes his eyes, nails craved in the palm of his hand. he breathes in. he wishes junsu was here, he really does. because he just doesn’t know what to do anymore. because how can he stand it, when the one who he can’t fix is himself?

[theconservativebrief]

Ryan Coogler’s Creed, the 2015 film that unexpectedly made the Rocky franchise great again, worked so well because it knew exactly when to celebrate and when to subvert the Rocky formula.

Casting the great star-in-the-making Michael B. Jordan as Adonis “Donnie” Johnson, the son of Rocky’s Apollo Creed — whom the heavyweight champ Rocky Balboa got his million-to-one shot against in the 1976 original, before the two became friends in later films — was a smart way to replicate Rocky’s rise-and-fall-of-a-boxer story arc. It also allowed Creed to shed the weird detritus that the Rocky franchise had accumulated over the previous four decades (like that robot).

And as if that wasn’t enough, Coogler made the world aware of how great Tessa Thompson (who plays the film’s love interest) is and gave Sylvester Stallone (Rocky himself) his best role since the 1990s — while simultaneously announcing himself as one of the most promising directors of his generation. He shot Creed’s fight sequences with a balletic grace, and imbued the film’s interpersonal scenes with just as much heart and heft (before delivering on his potential with the impressive follow-up project of 2018’s absolutely massive hit Black Panther).

What makes Creed II just a little disappointing, then, is the way it simply becomes another Rocky movie. Where the first film meditated on the legacies that black fathers leave for their sons, on the notions of aging and mortality, and on what it means to build a name for yourself that distinguishes you from your parents, the second film is mostly concerned with who wins boxing matches. It pillages Rocky history wholesale, becoming a kind of remix of two of the other movies in the franchise.

And yet … the reason there are so many Rocky movies is that their base formula still works. Creed II might not be the near-perfect movie its predecessor was, but it’s still pretty good. Let’s examine the recipe that went into making this film.

Donnie and Bianca have a child, thus batting for the Rocky II cycle. MGM

If you know anything about the plot of Creed II — and the Rocky franchise in general — you’ll probably expect the film to follow in the footsteps of Rocky IV. And it does, pitting Donnie against the son of Ivan Drago, the man who killed Apollo. (We’ll get into this plot point in more detail in just a moment.)

But what holds Creed II together isn’t the conflict with Drago. Instead, it’s Donnie’s attempt to figure out what his life might look like without boxing. He and Bianca (Thompson) get engaged. They discover she’s pregnant. They move to Los Angeles to be closer to his mom (the great Phylicia Rashad). And when Donnie encounters a setback that makes him hesitant to return to the ring, the movie enters a surprisingly powerful stretch that just lets Jordan work through his emotions, trying to process the traumatic things that have happened to him.

It’s a reminder that this franchise has always been at its best when it pairs smaller-scale stories of its characters just trying to live their lives with the spectacle of the big boxing matches. It’s also a welcome chance to give Thompson and Rashad more to do than Creed offered — accounting for Creed II’s one unambiguous improvement over the original film.

But astute Rocky scholars will recognize this story as largely a soft reboot of the plot of Rocky II (one of the less discussed Rocky sequels, perhaps because it doesn’t feature a memorable “villain”). Like Rocky II, Creed II replaces a great director (Coogler on Creed; John Avildsen on Rocky) with a serviceable one (Steven Caple Jr. here; Stallone himself on Rocky II), and it compensates for a retread of a story with ever grander mythmaking. (At one point, Donnie retreats to the desert for a massive training montage that asks, “You already know Michael B. Jordan is buff. But what if he were more buff?”)

Even in the particulars of their plots, Creed II and Rocky II have a lot in common: the main character having to step away from boxing for a long time before finally dragging himself back to the ring for the climactic rematch; the coupling up; the baby being born.

And just like Rocky II, Creed II is a pretty good follow-up to a great predecessor.

The Dragos come to Philly. MGM

But, okay, there’s a lot of Rocky IV in this movie!

By far the most ridiculous of the Rocky films, Rocky IV sends the mumblemouthed boxer into the Soviet Union to avenge the death of Apollo, who died in a match against Ivan Drago, the Russian monolith of a man played by Dolph Lundgren. Rocky was Apollo’s trainer and failed to call the fight when he saw his boxer was ailing, so it’s a mission of both redemption and revenge. By the end of the film, Rocky has more or less won the Cold War.

Rocky IV is kind of awesome, in that cheesy ’80s way, but its tone could not be more different from the more realistic tone of the Creed movies. So the choice to incorporate Drago, his son Viktor, and a vision of post-Soviet Russia that mostly seems drawn from watching ’80s movies feels like a dangerous gamble on the part of Creed II screenwriters Stallone and Juel Taylor.

What saves this story from feeling like a total misfire is the script’s willingness to scramble your emotional investment. The Dragos were completely tossed out of Russian society and have had to live a hardscrabble life on the fringes of that world; Viktor is a massive wall of a man because it’s the only thing he knows how to be. (In contrast, Donnie had some degree of economic security once he learned who his father was.)

Don’t get me wrong. Neither Caple nor Creed II’s screenwriters seem to realize just how sympathetic they’ve made the Dragos, especially in a climactic fight that hinges on the relationship between father and son in a way that doesn’t wholly work. And pivoting from the intimacy of Creed to a generation-spanning family epic straight out of a potboiler novel is just a weird call all around. (So is the way Ivan keeps saying variations on “break him,” because everybody remembers him saying “I must break you” in Rocky IV.) But it could have been worse.

Stallone and Jordan still have potent chemistry. MGM

One reason Creed II manages to avoid totally losing itself in Rocky lore is simple: It’s still rooted in a movie that took its characters and their emotional complexities seriously. The sequel struggles to find anything for Rocky to do that’s as compelling as what he experienced in Creed, but it can still coast on the power of Stallone’s cragged face, tumbling off his skull like rocks from a mountain.

Similarly, there’s really no good reason for Creed II to busy itself with a brief conflict between Donnie and Rocky that seems to exist just to make the movie longer, but Jordan and Stallone built up such goodwill with Creed that I accepted it until I realized it was simply marking time. The sequel clearly recognizes how potent the chemistry between Jordan and Thompson is, and goes all in on it.

There are worrying signs in Creed II that a potential Creed III might abandon any semblance of ties to our reality, and its inability to meaningfully connect a story where Donnie becomes a father to the preceding film where he struggled under the burden of never knowing his own is a touch surprising.

And that’s to say nothing of Caple, who films Creed II’s fight scenes with a blunt, visceral quality that appeals but makes most of the movie’s smaller scenes feel a little perfunctory, as if he were checking shots off a list. Particularly egregious in this regard is a scene where Donnie’s mother figures out that Bianca is pregnant before she does, after his mom simply says that Bianca looks pregnant, even though we never see a hint of why she might think so. (Caple even botches a great little bit of physical comedy from Thompson that closes the scene!)

But I really loved Creed, and just enough of that movie’s spark carried over to its sequel to keep me invested.

In the end, what most prevents Creed II from being better is the way everything that happens in the Rocky universe primarily concerns the same handful of families — to the degree that when Donnie needs a new trainer in LA (after Rocky stays behind in Philly), he hires the son of Apollo’s old trainer. It’s ludicrous!

And it makes the movie feel a little like one of those primetime TV soap operas that indulge in wild fancies in the name of entertaining us. There are a couple of scenes involving the Drago family saga that made me howl, and their silliness felt half-intentional on the part of Creed II’s filmmakers, like they were daring the audience to take the scenes seriously because they knew how ridiculous it was.

This kind of hurts the movie’s attempt to establish the identity of the Creed franchise as something distinct from the Rocky franchise. But hey, even the stupidest Rocky movies are a lot of fun.

Gotta have a montage. MGM

The little-seen, not-that-bad 2006 Rocky Balboa — in which Rocky hauls himself back into the ring because the TV all but dares him to, while examining his relationship with his son (Milo Ventimiglia) — was not a movie whose themes I expected to ever appear in the Creed franchise. But there it is, winking at you in a handful of scenes, prodding you to wonder if Ventimiglia might take a day off from This Is Us to film a quick cameo.

I won’t reveal whether he did, but this tiny leavening agent is what ultimately reveals that Creed II’s heart is always in the right place, even when its brain isn’t. It’s a movie about how families are complicated legacies of their own, long continuations of stories we don’t always understand or appreciate as we’re living them, and how sometimes, time runs out unexpectedly. It is, in its own, weird way, a great Thanksgiving movie.

Creed II is playing in theaters everywhere.

Original Source -> Creed II is no Creed. But it’s a pretty good Rocky sequel.

via The Conservative Brief

[kandidkt-blog]

Darkest of Dark

I know this blog isn’t very lively, and i suck at keeping up to date with posts but tonight is just one of those days that i need to vent my life away, so buckle up.

In one of my previous posts, i mentioned that i was getting into terrible things and didn’t know how to get out of it. I called my sister one night and didn’t even tell her what was wrong but she knows me way too well to believe that I would be calling in the middle of the night, historically in tears for no good reason. Anywho, for my birthday, my sister bought me a ticket to come visit her in Europe. (I’m a libra btw ((oct 21)) and as you get to know me, you’ll understand just how important astrology is to me) but this vacay seemed like the perfect oppurtuninity, not only did i have the chance to spend some quality time with my long distance sista but I knew I wouldn’t have access to all of the horrible substances that have been ruining my life. Almost kinda like a rehab? lol. I ended up coming to visit her in a completely different country and in the most unfortunate of events, the day I landed, we found out her husband passed away. 

It’s hard to explain if you didn’t witness it first hand but I am not kidding when I say these 2 had a relationship unlike any other - quite comparable to the notebook to be honest. He was killed in a terrible “accidental” tragedy with no sympathy from the killer and at such a young age.. the multiple years that they had been together before this tragic event, I had literally never once seen her in a bad mood and then on top of this fairtytale love story, they had a baby who is at the moment still quite a bit under the age of a year old. 

After going through a couple weeks of not only mourning, but trying to figure out how to get everyone’s life back on track, we got robbed of everything we owned. This special man we had lost and only had pictures and memories left of, was taken from us, his death certificate, his and my sisters computers, cameras, laptops, memory cards, etc. with any and all pictures they had together, all of his personal belongings... Anything that could’ve helped my sister and this family get through this tragedy, was taken, including every single thing that we all owned; luggage, computers, passports, phones, literally everything, and not only that but they almost ran over 4 people in my family while trying to escape from the scene. With all the commotion going on, we didn’t even realize that our entire van had been emptied from bottom to top within 20 seconds while we were away from the van (and yes it was locked).

I have personally never seen anyone go through as much pain as i have within the last 2 months. This “exciting” trip i had planned for so long, so quickly became a never-ending nightmare. I’m not entirely sure how I’m gonna get myself, let alone my poor sister who lost everything that ever meant anything to her through this, but I’m determined.. I’ve never spend the amount of time and effort on anyone in my entire life than i have toward this family and i still wish there was more i could do.

I’ve always been an extremely depressed person ever since the day i turned 15 or whatever and I complain about the stupidest shit, but I have NEVER had something like this or lost a member of my family, from something other than old age and illness, that has opened my eyes the way that this has. I guess I’m just trying to say that you really shouldn’t take ur life or anyone for that matter, for granted, because until it happens to you, you always kind of assume that you’re never gonna be that “1 in a million”.

Smile often, travel as much as you can, enjoy the world, enjoy the people, don’t take ANYTHING for certain, and just soak in every single second you have with the people you love because u honestly never know when its gonnna end.

Its a little funny(not in a funny way), before I left, one of my regulars at my work told me this trip would change my life and change me as a person... and ive been wondering ever since what the fuck he meant by that. Never thought this would be the outcome but no matter how many times I have begged the higher powers to wake me up from the tragic nightmare.... the only ending is the one we don’t want to wake up to.

[allhallows-art]

Answer all the questions. Or the ones you want to answer! :D

oh boi ill try to do all of them

1. What is you middle name?

I could make up something cool like Danger or Thunder but it’s Grace2. How old are you?

16 although I’m 17 in april3. When is your birthday?

april 25th4. What is your zodiac sign?

taurus5. What is your favorite color?

I like most colours at different times. certain colours I like just for my hair, theres ones I like for my clothes, and theres others I just like looking at6. What’s your lucky number?

13 and 377. Do you have any pets?

a rabbit, a dog, a tortoise and three hamsters8. Where are you from?

blackpool, england9. How tall are you?

like 5′410. What shoe size are you?

6/7 (uk womens)11. How many pairs of shoes do you own?

idk ive got like five in my room but way more in a closet somewhere12. What was your last dream about?

no clue13. What talents do you have?

I’m pretty good at gcse maths. also art, I guess14. Are you psychic in any way?

kinda. whenever I wake up and can feel that it’ll be a bad day, it usually is always a bad day. like real bad15. Favorite song?

anything from Tourist History by Two Door Cinema Club. its the only album I can listen to not matter what16. Favorite movie?

Jurassic park17. Who would be your ideal partner?

idk someone that appreciates me for me, enjoys my humor but can also tell when my “jokes” aren’t jokes18. Do you want children?

right now? no. in the future? maybe.19. Do you want a church wedding?

idk how I feel about weddings like lotta money and shit20. Are you religious?

nope21. Have you ever been to the hospital?

yeah 22. Have you ever got in trouble with the law?

kinda. I was at a party once and there were too man complaints so the cops turned up and we all had to leave. the person who had the party had to talk to the cops but I did too bc they were drunk and I was like the only sober person there23. Have you ever met any celebrities?

maybe idk do youtubers count?24. Baths or showers?

showers25. What color socks are you wearing?

none but usually black26. Have you ever been famous?

don’t think so27. Would you like to be a big celebrity?

not big. i’d enjoy to have a little fame. like in the sense of a small following that enjoys the shit I do. like those popular tumblr blogs. being a recognisable blog might be cool28. What type of music do you like?

lotta stuff. grime street stuff, cutesy sort of stuff, indie, rock, pop punk29. Have you ever been skinny dipping?

nope30. How many pillows do you sleep with?

two31. What position do you usually sleep in?

curled up or fully spread out32. How big is your house?

uh idk how big is your dick33. What do you typically have for breakfast?

nothing. no time34. Have you ever fired a gun?

no way35. Have you ever tried archery?

yep36. Favorite clean word?

indeed37. Favorite swear word?

fuk38. What’s the longest you’ve ever gone without sleep?

like 24 hours maybe? idk I just went a whole night without sleep and didn’t sleep until the next night39. Do you have any scars?

yeah boi. from old scabs and shit40. Have you ever had a secret admirer?

no idea. if yes then they were very secret about it. ive never had any sort of admirer. ive never had anyone properly like me41. Are you a good liar?

yea I do it a lot for the stupidest little things42. Are you a good judge of character?

idk43. Can you do any other accents other than your own?

I guess I can do american44. Do you have a strong accent?

don’t think so45. What is your favorite accent?

Ü46. What is your personality type?

no clue. ask other people. you’ll get a better opinion47. What is your most expensive piece of clothing?

idk I dont really get expensive shit48. Can you curl your tongue?

yea49. Are you an innie or an outie?

innie50. Left or right handed?

right51. Are you scared of spiders?

sometimes52. Favorite food?

chicken53. Favorite foreign food?

pizza54. Are you a clean or messy person?

messy55. Most used phrased?

I’m a mess56. Most used word?

lmao57. How long does it take for you to get ready?

10 minutes minimum58. Do you have much of an ego?

probably59. Do you suck or bite lollipops?

suck until I get bored60. Do you talk to yourself?

yep61. Do you sing to yourself?

yep62. Are you a good singer?

maybe idk63. Biggest Fear?

being alone, friendship wise. and I’m currently living that fear64. Are you a gossip?

probably65. Best dramatic movie you’ve seen?

idk don’t really watch shit66. Do you like long or short hair?

both67. Can you name all 50 states of America?

fuk no68. Favorite school subject?

art?69. Extrovert or Introvert?

both?70. Have you ever been scuba diving?

no71. What makes you nervous?

a lot of stuff72. Are you scared of the dark?

not unless its a small space73. Do you correct people when they make mistakes?

maybe?74. Are you ticklish?

yea75. Have you ever started a rumor?

I once made people pretend this girl was dead so whenever she tried to speak to use we’d be all like “omg I can still hear her as if shes here”. we did that for a whole week and acted as if it never happened the next week76. Have you ever been in a position of authority?

idk77. Have you ever drank underage?

m8 I’m british of course78. Have you ever done drugs?

nope79. Who was your first real crush?

Abraham Lincoln. and I’m not even fucking joking. 10 year old me was the best me. 80. How many piercings do you have?

just tiny ear stretchers81. Can you roll your Rs?“

yeah but terribly82. How fast can you type?

very83. How fast can you run?

depends what I’m running for84. What color is your hair?

purple85. What color is your eyes?

grey/blue86. What are you allergic to?

nothing, I don’t think87. Do you keep a journal?

I tried and failed88. What do your parents do?

mum does office job shit, stepdad is retired and my actual dad works in a biscuit factory89. Do you like your age?

sure whynot90. What makes you angry?

a lot91. Do you like your own name?

nope that’s why I use Aleks92. Have you already thought of baby names, and if so what are they?

yeah I have. its fucking lame. but I like stupid names like Wednesday or Ranger. 93. Do you want a boy a girl for a child?

idk surprise me94. What are you strengths?

I can cry a lot95. What are your weaknesses?

I cry a lot96. How did you get your name?

Aleks came from a youtuber. but my birth name is from an actress97. Were your ancestors royalty?

idk98. Do you have any scars?

this is already a previous question wtf yes99. Color of your bedspread?

monochromes100. Color of your room?

greys