#that is frankly the dream man if you're a pop star

[blessyouhawkeye]

just found out that not only has dolly parton been married for nearly 60 years to the same normie ass guy who owned a road paving business who and i quote "went to a single event before swearing off hollywood forever" but also he looked like this

and all i have to say is. good for her.

[whocaresstillthelouvre]

Golden Girl Texts

Written for @jolapeno's Dear-uary challenge. I chose to do texts between Dieter and Golden Girl throughout their friendship. General warning for drug and drink mentions... it is Dieter.

Thank you to @devineconjuring for her help and accepting my rambles. She also made the Sweets bride pic much more ~Golden~

The texts start from when Warren & GG get engaged and end at Dieter leaving for London at the end of So It Goes.

FYI, the texts receivers switch. Check the top first for whose phone it is. 🫡

Blue is Dieter. Pink is Golden Girl.

✨July, 2016✨ Dieter’s Phone

There’s that familiar hot pit in his stomach, it burns brighter as he zooms in on the ring. Fuck. He should have done something… or at least told you how he felt about you, but instead he stayed quiet, finding solace in illicit substances and people. He’ll respond tomorrow. Right now, he’s going to pop some pills, fuck someone, and try to forget the text. 

✨September, 2016✨ GG’s Phone

Oh Sweets, you're too good to everybody around you. Too good at finding the best in anyone. A broken man like him doesn't deserve your concern. He hits repeat on "Self Control" waiting for the lines that always makes him think of you:

Wish I was there, wish we'd grown up on the same advice And our time was right Keep a place for me, for me I'll sleep between y'all, it's nothing

✨April, 2017✨ GG’s Phone

Why are you zooming in on the picture of your husband's best man? Why do you wish he was sitting on the lounger next to you at this luxury five star resort? Why does Warren have to insist on working during your fucking honeymoon? Why is it only 1 PM and you've already had three piña coladas?

✨September, 2018✨ Dieter’s Phone

You got it. Your dream house with the picket fence and the pretty lawn. You got the large backyard with the picturesque view. You're going to fill that home with cool art, unique finds, and beautiful memories... and he'll just be a visitor.

✨January, 2020✨ GG’s Phone

New Years is bullshit. It's something he's always believed, but it's made worse when he has to watch the woman he's in love with inside her beautiful home kissing her husband at midnight. Bullshit.

✨August, 2020✨ Dieter’s Phone

You call Dieter, he answers all bleary eyed with a huge smile lighting his face at the first sight of you. You talk to him for three hours, comforting him, telling him all of this will be worth it. You put a package of cookies in the mail for him the next day.

✨September, 2020✨ Dieter’s Phone

Of course you're happy for him. Of course you don't know that when he stood at the altar in that dingy Las Vegas chapel and Anika walked out, his heart sank when he realized she wasn't you. Of course you don't know he's already miserable.

✨April, 2021✨ GG’s Phone

You knew it wasn't going to last, but you still wanted to believe that maybe one day Dieter would find his soulmate.

✨June, 2023✨ Dieter’s Phone

Damn, he's getting brave with these mixes.

A selection of songs from Dieter's playlist For Sweets #16

"Sun In The Morning" - Future Islands

"Pretty Please" by Dua Lipa

"Red Eyes" by The War On Drugs

"Amoeba" by Clairo

"The Color In Anything" by James Blake

"Bodys" by Car Seat Headrest

"Foreign Kicks" by We Are Scientists

✨June, 2023✨ Dieter’s Phone

Dieter doesn't answer, as amazing as Vegas sounds. Frankly, he's sick of Warren and his bullshit. He barely even recognizes him these days... he wonders what you think.

✨September, 2024✨ GG’s Phone

[proxylynn]

Blorbo: Guzma (Pokémon Sun and Moon)

{Wanna see what destruction looks like? Here it is in human form! It's your boy... Guzma!}

[Growing up with Pokémon since gen1, I never really got into the "evil organization"s that pop up in each gen. Mostly because they all follow some contrived stupid thing (minus Geovanni, he thought shit out and was legit) like I wanna flood the land, I wanna use Pokémon to free Pokémon, I want to use a death laser because fuck you, or I want to go unleash Pokémon Satan because reasons, etc. Then Sun/Moon came along and gave me Team Skull and it works... Because they aren't the evil team! (was that all it took for a decent team? to not make them the main villains?) And none of this would matter if the team leader wasn't interesting, which ya boi totally is.

"Guzma originally aspired to become a Trial Captain with Professor Kukui. He was even Hala's apprentice to train in battling. While he was a talented trainer in his own right, having won many trophies and awards, he also struggled in his efforts to be the best, never once having placed first in any tournaments. It is also implied that he suffered domestic abuse from his father and he ran away from home to escape it. He was also rejected as Trial Captain for unknown reasons. After failing to become a Trial Captain, Guzma formed Team Skull with other kids who failed the Trial vowing to destroy the very same traditions that shattered his dreams."

This is a great opening for a character, his motivation is relatable and not some grand over-the-top nonsense. He's a guy who feels he got shafted and when no one backed him up he said "screw you guys, I'm gonna show you you're wrong and make you suffer for doubting me". This alone would work to make me like him, but then they go and make him even more sympathetic. There's some hints of his dad being a possible abusive prick (I say possible because GameFreak likes to leave the fucked up stuff to the creatures more often than the people characters and I'm not 100% on this). He longs for approval and recognition, the man wants respect, so much so he is the henchman to Lusamine who is playing him like a fiddle by giving him the slightest bit of attention (fucking bitch!). Bro, I just want to jump into the game and tell him he's better than this. He's a bug trainer! This man made bug types cool to me! And his love for his bugs, especially his Golisopod, is so damn precious.

Game Freak knows he's awesome because they made Guzma too cool to join that shitshow crew Rainbow Rocket. Dude helps you take all those baddies down like the mother fucking boss he is. Not only this, but it was to Guzma of all people that Ash finally became a league champion and that battle was epic as fuck! Sadly, they would try to rehash this greatness and, frankly, it just isn't good (Team Yell and Star). Still, as much as I don't care for Pokémon as much as I used to, I still follow blogs on here that are about Guzma. Shout out to elbdot who has a long-running still going strong Pokémon Sun/Moon comic series with best boi Guzma being a key character, I love it so much!]