#that is extremely difficult to deal with and flares the old ed up a lot | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

deplcythebattery · 5 months

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figured out where my weird body image issue currently stems from. i'm in my mid 20s so i feel like i'm only supposed to be skinny i'm too young to be anything else and that's what sucks. i look at older people who aren't skinny and foam at the mouth but i feel like i'm not old enough to look like that yet so i Should Be Skinny. it's truly maddening and not at all fun

tags might be triggering

#delete later #weight talk #body image issues #it's like my brain is like you're not allowed to gain weight until you're past 30 #why. go away. stop it.#how do i combat this. how do i do it #bc it's no longer 'you're not allowed to gain weight' it's 'you're not allowed to gain weight *yet*'#i'm Supposed to be bigger. i'm not Supposed to fit into clothes that were loose on me when i was a teenager and #not eating. it's good and healthy and fine that i'm bigger now #and that my medications are making me gain weight #that's fine. it's fine. it should be fine. But. apparently it's also very much not #how do i stop feeling like i looked so fucking good when i was skinnier #how do i stop feeling like that i don't know how to get out of it #i was only that small two years ago bc i was so stressed and sick my body was falling apart and i wasn't eating #but how do i stop missing that body. how do i stop missing the way it looked. how do i stop wanting to be back in that version of this body #i don't know how to navigate this #it's especially hard when i'm no longer the skinniest in our friend group #that is extremely difficult to deal with and flares the old ed up a lot

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