#that i've been staying away from tumblr/reddit for so long

[curiosityjams]

*

[creamtese]

Demons and Stigmas

I made a reddit post about this, and thought I should post it on tumblr too for easier reading!

I wanted to make a post about all the stigmas and demons that we know so far. The names are all anagrams of Ars Goetia demons, and some of them have similar powers to the demon or have potential motives to summon said demon. With that, we can possibly predict what some of the stigmas do that we only have a name for, as well as what might have been their motivation for summoning their demon.

I've taken some information from the Ars Goetia wikipedia page, and bolded some things that I thought are noteworthy.

Frostheim

Kamurai Jin, Bianerus.

Bianerus is an anagram of Naberius

Jin can command people to do as he says with his stigma

The demon Naberius (also Naberus, Nebiros and Cerberus, Cerbere) was first mentioned by Johann Weyer in 1583. He is supposedly the most valiant Marquis of Hell, and has nineteen legions of demons under his command. He makes men cunning in all arts, but especially in rhetoric, speaking with a hoarse voice. He also restores lost dignities and honors, although to Johann Weyer he procures the loss of them. Naberius appears as a three-headed dog or a raven. He has a raucous voice but presents himself as eloquent and amiable. He teaches the art of gracious living. He is depicted as a crow or a black crane. Concerning his name, it is unclear if there is an association with the Greek Cerberus. It is said that in 1583, Johann Weyer considers both of them to be the same demon.

Ishibashi Tohma, Argeas.

Argeas is an anagram of Agares

Tohma's stigma lets him send vibrations long distance.

Agares (or Agreas), ruling the eastern zone of Hell, and being served by 31 legions of demons. He can make runaways come back and those who stand still run, finding pleasure in teaching immoral expressions. He also has the power to destroy dignities, both temporal and supernatural. He is depicted as a pale old man riding a crocodile.

Lucas Errant, Iggnaim.

Iggnaim is an anagram of Gamigin

Lucas has a barrier

Gamigin (also Gamygin, Gamigm or Samigina) is a Great Marquis of Hell who rules over thirty legions of demons. He teaches all liberal sciences and gives an account of the souls of those who died in sin and who drowned in the sea, speaking with a rough voice. He also answers what is asked about, and stays with the conjurer until they are satisfied. Gamigin is depicted as a little horse or a donkey, which changes form into a man under the conjurer's request.

Fuji Kaito, ???

No stigma name currently, but we have an idea of what his powers may be from something Hyde has said.

Vagastrom

Mido Alan, Yagsal Olbalsa

Yagsal Olbalsa is an anagram of Glasya-Labolas

It's never been explicitly said, but it seems to be some sort of super strength

Glasya-Labolas (also Caacrinolaas, Caassimolar, Classyalabolas, Glassia-labolis, Glasya Labolas, Gaylos-Lobos) is a mighty President of Hell who commands thirty-six legions of demons. He is the author and captain of manslaughter and bloodshed, tells all things past and to come, gains the minds and love of friends and foes causing love among them if desired, incites homicides and can make a man invisible. He is depicted as a dog with the wings of a griffin.

Kurosagi Leo, Haxs

Haxs is an anagram of Shax

Leo's stigma allows him to have enhanced hearing

Shax (also spelled Chax, Shan, Shass, Shaz, and Scox) is a Great Marquis of Hell, and has power over 30 legions of demons on evil horses. He takes away the sight, hearing and understanding of any person under the conjurer's request, and steals money out of kings' houses, carrying it back to the people. He also steals horses and everything the conjurer asks. Shax can also discover hidden things if they are not kept by evil spirits, and sometimes gives good familiars, but sometimes those familiars deceive the conjurer. He should not be bothered too often. Shax is thought to be faithful and obedient, but is a great liar and will deceive the conjurer unless obliged to enter a magic triangle drawn on the floor. He will then speak marvellously and tell the truth. He knows when lies are told and uses these to teach lessons. He is depicted as a stork that speaks with a hoarse but subtle voice; his voice changes into a beautiful one once he enters the magic triangle.

Haizono Shohei, Spurno

Spurno is an anagram of Purson

We don't have an explicit answer for what it does yet, but he was able to trip? throw back? the anomaly in episode 2

Purson (also Curson, Pursan) is a Great King of Hell, being served and obeyed by twenty-two legions of demons. He knows of hidden things, can find treasures, and tells past, present and future. Taking a human or aerial body he answers truly of all secret and divine things of Earth and the creation of the world. He also brings good familiars. Purson is depicted as a man with the face of a lion, carrying a ferocious viper in his hand, and riding a bear. Before him, there can be heard many trumpets sounding.

Jabberwock

Sagara Haru, Bahnti

Bahnti = Bathin

Haru's stigma reduces the affect of gravity on his body

Bathin (or Bathym, Mathim, Marthim) is a Duke (Great Duke according to Pseudomonarchia Daemonum) of Hell, who has under his command thirty legions of demons. He knows the virtues of precious stones and herbs, and can bring men suddenly from one country to another. He helps one attain astral projection, and takes you wherever you want to go. He is depicted as a strong man with the tail of a serpent, riding a pale horse.

Otonashi Towa, ???

Another one we aren't really sure of

Shiranami Ren, Raothtas

Raothtas = Astaroth

We don't have an explicit answer as to what his stigma does, but he was able to remove ink stains from the floor

Astaroth (also Ashtaroth, Astarot and Asteroth) is referred to in The Lesser Key of Solomon as a very powerful demon who commands 40 legions of demons. In art, in the Dictionnaire Infernal, Astaroth is depicted as a nude man with feathered wings, wearing a crown, holding a serpent in one hand, and riding a beast with dragon-like wings and a serpent-like tail. According to Sebastien Michaelis he is a demon of the First Hierarchy, who seduces by means of laziness, vanity, and rationalized philosophies. His adversary is St. Bartholomew, who can protect against him for he has resisted Astaroth's temptations. To others, he teaches mathematical sciences and handicrafts, can make men invisible and lead them to hidden treasures, and answers every question formulated to him. He was also said to give to mortal beings the power over serpents. His name is possibly taken from the goddess Asherah or Astarte.

Sinostra

Hoshibami Taiga, Malab

Malab = Balam

All we know is that he has good luck

Balam (also Balaam, Balan) is a great and powerful king of Hell who commands over forty legions of demons. He gives perfect answers on things past, present, and to come, and can also make men invisible and witty. Balam is depicted as being three-headed. One head is the head of a bull, the second of a man, and the third of a ram. He has flaming eyes and the tail of a serpent. He carries a hawk on his fist and rides a strong bear. At other times, he is represented as a naked man riding a bear.

Romeo Lucci, Tiris

Tiris = Sitri

He can turn things into bombs

Sitri (also spelled Bitru, Sytry) is a Great Prince of Hell, and reigns over sixty legions of demons. He causes men to love women and vice versa, and can make people bare themselves naked if desired. He is depicted with the face of a leopard and the wings of a griffin, but under the conjurer's request he changes into a very beautiful man.

Shinjo Ritsu, Acimo

Acimo = Camio

Ritsu's stigma lets him harden his body, to the point bullets cannot damage him

Camio (also Caim, Caym) appears in Ars Goetia, the first part of The Lesser Key of Solomon as a Great President of Hell, ruling over thirty legions of demons. Much detail is offered: he is a good disputer, gives men the understanding of the voices of birds, bullocks, dogs, and other creatures, and of the noise of the waters too, and gives true answers concerning things to come. He is depicted in 19th and 20th century occultist illustrations as appearing in the form of the black bird called a thrush, but soon he changes his shape into a man that has a sharp sword in his hand. When answering questions he seems to stand on burning ashes or coals.

Hotarubi

Kagami Subaru, Talnandio

Talnandio = Dantalion

Psychometry

Dantalion (or Dantalian) is a powerful Great Duke of Hell, with thirty-six legions of demons under his command; he is the 71st of 72 spirits of Solomon. He teaches all arts and sciences, and also declares the secret counsel of anyone, given that he knows the thoughts of all people and can change them at his will. He can also cause love and show the similitude of any person, show the same by means of a vision, and let them be in any part of the world they will. He is depicted as a man with many appearances, which means the faces of all men and women.

Kusanagi Haku, ???

¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Kotodama Zenji, ???

ahhhh eto...bwehhhhh

Obscuary

Edward Hart, ???

thanks old man!

Mizuki Rui, ???

I don't recall him saying his stigma, but he's able to relieve pain and exhaustion temporarily.

Lyca Colt, Ramsochisa

Ramsochisa = Marchosias

He can follow the scent of anything, so long as he's smelled it before

Marchosias (also Marchocias) is a powerful Great Marquis of Hell, commanding thirty legions of demons. He is a strong and excellent fighter and very reliable to the conjurer, giving true answers to all questions. Marchosias hoped after 1,200 years to return to heaven with the non-fallen angels, but he is deceived in that hope. He is depicted as a wolf with a man's form as well as a griffin's wings and a serpent's tail, that under request changes shape into a man.

Mortkranken

Isami Yuri, Agnihaet

Agnihaet = Haagenti

10000 iq moment

Haagenti (also Haage, Hage) is a Great President of Hell, ruling thirty-three legions of demons. He makes men wise by instructing them in every subject, transmutes all metals into gold, and changes wine into water and water into wine. Haagenti is depicted as a big bull with the wings of a griffin, changing into a man under request of the conjurer.

Kirisaki Jiro, ???

wahoo

Let me know if I missed anything or got anything wrong! Hope this helps with your theorycrafting and oc making 💖

[loycspotting]

Leaving Tumblr

Last night, my account was terminated. I don't know why. I was in the middle of using the site when suddenly I was locked out. No warnings. No announcements. Nothing. I was an absolute wreck. I couldn't eat or sleep. There was no word from Tumblr's management team. I could only explain what happened and sit on my hands. I felt utterly helpless waiting and hoping for a miracle. I had a home here. I had friends who became family. People that I love. Fandom that was my absolute joy and honor to participate in. It was all ripped away for no reason at the drop of a hat. My work. My mutuals. My home. Gone. Just like that. I couldn't say goodbye. I didn't know if or how I'd be able to find my moots again. I was able to create a second account called @loycspotting-thee2 and wracked my brain trying to remember my friends' usernames while terrified that that account would disappear too. I couldn't focus on anything. I was completely distraught. Thankfully, a miracle did happen and my account was magically reactivated. Again, no warning. No one reached out and explained what happened. One moment it was here, gone the next, then here again. In all my years of being on social media, I've never feared that a platform would kick me off like that until last night. I stayed up reading story after story of people who have used Tumblr, some of them holding accounts for YEARS with thousands of followers, logging on just to find it wiped from existence on any random day. This is a serious and repetitive issue, but not apparently to Tumblr. I may not have been a Tumblr user for long, but this incident has irrevocably broken my trust. No amount of saving and cataloging and backing up my account will protect me from being a victim of this website's carelessness. I would always have to worry if I'd be the unlucky user of the day that got their account deleted with no guarantee that it would be reactivated. I cannot and will not live in fear that everything I've created and the home I've found will be taken from me again against my will. Therefore, I have decided that the best option for me is to deactivate my account and say goodbye on my own terms. I am absolutely heartbroken to come to this decision. This has been the most unreal online space. I loved it here! It was everything I've been looking for and I only regret not signing up the first time I heard about it all those years ago. I love being in the Ewan McGregor fandom! Where it's not just a fandom. It's a fanhome ���. I found my voice here, as well as people who heard me. People who understood me. This was my absolute favorite place to be, bar NONE. I felt fulfilled writing and reviewing. There were so many more things I wanted to do and experience with you guys. It was you who encouraged me. You listened, reblogged, commented, and messaged. You accepted me. From the bottom of my heart I love my mutuals. Even if we don't follow each other, if we've talked or interacted with each other's posts I love you too. I love the passion and creativity flowing through this site. I don't know what will happen with the Ewan McGregor Screentime Percentage project. I'm not ready to quit just yet. Maybe I'll start a Reddit or letterboxd account. Of course, for the writing, I can consider joining Ao3. If you want to keep in touch, then I implore you to message me so we can work something out. The friendships I made here are paramount to everything else. I'm going to leave this up for 9 days (or until I'm terminated again 🙄) to give myself time to get things in order. On September 1st, I will say goodbye.

[tarathoughts13]

FIXING BIT CITY - PART 1

okay this is a very long post and i apologise - i didn't mean to have this many thoughts on bit city but i do so i would really appreciate if you read through this whole thing and hear me out completely:

so, i think we can all agree that the smosh main channel right now isn't doing so well, this time last year, most of their videos on main had a good 1 million+ views, especially after food battle. but nowadays, most of the bit city sketches get from 400k - 900k on average views, 2024 youtube sucks is the only bit city sketch to get above 1 million views.

i think a big reason for this drop in numbers is for 2 reasons, 1. the fact that smosh put hold on all their other sketches that they were doing on the main channel for bit city, and took a whole 2 month break for it, for the end result being, well, average. and the 2nd reason being is that, well, bit city as a whole isn't the best show and while it has it's strong points, it's not a good enough show on it's own that will make your average viewer want to tune in and it's also just, not, that good. now im a big smosh fan and i only want the best for the channel, which is why im gonna try and break down the reasons why bit city isn't really working and how to fix it, hopefully if we spread this around a little bit in the smosh fandom here on tumblr, we'll be able to spread some news (ill post this on reddit as well).

okay now the breakdown. let's start with the concept of bit city, from what i've gathered, bit city is basically trying to be the 'snl'/late night with jimmy show of smosh, the all in all sketch show that has a bit of everything (like a variety show). now i don't watch snl much but from what i know of it, snl episodes have a typical format that they fall into, they start with a cold open, followed by a monologue, then 2-3 sketches, then commercial break which is where a lot of commericial parodies happen, then a musical performance, then weekend update, and sometimes an addtional performance by a musical guest, and then credits. and you can see smosh borrowing some of those segments for bit city, now this as an idea is great. i think that smosh could pull it off if they wanted to, they have a whole multiverse (literally) of characters to choose from for sketches, they have multiple cast members who are great at hosting and who are able to carry segments on their own, and they have a good enough budget to pull different parts of these segments off.

however, where smosh breaks away from the snl format is the fact that they have structured their show more like a late night show would, having a host and a guest, now this is where smosh starts to lose me a little bit. not because i hate the idea, but because, late night humour is very different from sketch comedy, late night tv's comedy typically relies on topicality (meaning the current things going on in today's society like politics, pop culture, etc.), interviews with guests and recurring segments (think mean tweets on jimmy kimmel), yes they do have sketches, but the format of the sketches is very different. that being said, i think waht smosh was going for in the end, which was a 'late night' esque show where the 'guests' are characters or impressions by the cast, is a geneuienly great idea.

where bit city starts to fail or let me down is the execution, now they cast chanse and angela as the hosts, which i do actually really like since i think they both have a lot of personality, they both are entertaining to watch, and they have a good dynamic which viewers can watch and be entertained by. so i think it was a good choice to have them be the hosts. where i think bit city starts to really lose me is, well, the bits, the sketches.

so far, there have been 6 episodes of bit city, and so far, the bits and characters that have stayed in my head and that i think are truly memorable include the one direction reunion, the "straight eye" cast, the kardashians bit and the ianthony bit (although i personally was let down by that it was very popular in the fandom so im including it), that is it. every other bit has been either average or forgettable, in fact, the only episode of bit city which i think lands on every level is the straight vs gay episode.

why? let's break it down.

bit city as a show follows a general structure, the show opens with a 'cold open' of sort where angela says something like 'XX PERSON DID WHAT?' and chanse replies with something along the lines of 'yeah bitch' or some one liner response, after that they have a bit of bantering between chanse and angela which goes on either too long or too short, before cutting to their first set of commercials, after that they return with their first sketch or bit which is typically an interview or a reunion with the 'guest' being either an impression or character by the cast, in the middle of the interview they cut to the commericals again before returning to the bit again, after the bit hits it's "climax" of sorts, then they cut to a third set of commercials, before returning for either an improvised segment with members of the cast as themselves playing games ie. straight vs gay trivia. or the 'hot goss' section where they have tommy read off a teleprompter some jokes about modern day pop culture before interviewing another guest (sometimes they cut to commercials here as well but not always), before having the show come to an end with chanse jumping over a car.

now, let's go bit by bit (pun not intended) on every part of this show and break it down bit by bit (okay this time intended).

the cold opens - imo this is one of the weaker parts of the show, i get what they're going for with it, but it just feels so dry and bland, i get that they can't do a full opening monologue and they need something to open the show in that way, but eveyr joke in the cold open section has since fallen flat for me, so really, my only advice here is get better writers or write better jokes.

the banter/improvised section - this is one of the better parts of the show which i do like (althooguh i do think that it does in some cases go on for way too long) but it's mainl because chanse and angela are such likable people that it works, recently they've started adding in some bits to this section like the rib cam and the erewhon taste testing, so i think if i have any real advice for this section of the show, it would be to a. shorten it and not make it drag on as long or b. if you're not gonna shorten it, then at least add more improvised or bits like the rib cam to this part of the show, this would be also be part of the show to bring back segments like smoffice or let's do this on a smaller scale (although ill add more about let's do this later) to have somehting entertaining for this part of the show

commercials - the commercials are one of the most disappointing part of the show to me not because they're bad, but because they could be so much more. like the concept of parody commercials in a sketch show is SOO good, for one, it can help point out flaws in advertising and commercial industry in general, but they can also just be the perfect ground space for character building ro for expanding the smosh universe, but every bit city commercial, the the humour jsut feels so, generic? and it falls so flat every time. and this falls into one of my main critiques of the show, which is, so much of the show feels like such average level humour, like this is smosh, the channel which literally thrives off of characters and over the top bits, so why aren't they utilising that? i can't think of 1 commercial which has stayed in my head or which i would call memorable in this show so far, besides maybe the straight vs gay 'straight boyfriend os' commercial (but even that cuold have been better imo). my real advice for the commercials in the show is a. cut it down, don't have 3-4 commercials in every bit city episode (especially if they're gonna be so average), but b. if you're gonna have this many, use them to expand the smosh universe. have commercials like idk, Mr. Pervert's coffee shop, now hiring, or Fred Dart's new single just launched, anything that will actually add value to the smosh universe and not just be some one off. but if they want to do one off commercials, they could also return to their 'apple product commercial' esque skecthes, like the apple vision pro sketch they did? yeah, do that and split it up into 4 parts instead of all at once, and you have 4 commercials for a bit city episode.

interviews - the interview segments have been okay so far. i liked the one direction reunion, i liked the kardashians one, i somehwat enjoyed the old smosh reunion (but im not that much of an og smosh fan so i didn't enjoy it as much as others) and i really liked the 'straight eye' cast one. i think my main critique for the interview sections of bit city is the same for the commercials in that, it could jsut be SO MUCH more. i for one would love for them to maybe do stuff like a 'smosh the sitcom reunion' with all the characters like kevin, krungle, young sebastian, chosen, etc. or a 'chosen special' where chosen gives us a deep dive into being a chosen, waht it takes to be a chosen, who is or isn't chosen, etc. these sketches in my opinion would be a. more funny than just random pop culture references, and b. interesting deep dive into the pre-existing characters of smosh. and that's not me saying that i think they need to completely erase the pop culture elements of the show, im jsut saying, lean into more of the smosh specific character work of the cast instead of focusing more on the pop culture elements, you can still have reunions like the hsm or the teletubbies reunions (which btw i think were top tier smosh sketches) but just don't make that the focus of the show. also i do think at one point having actual guest features for this section of the show could be interesintg, but seeing how things are going right now, i don't think that will be happening in the near future.

improvised 'games'/recurring segments of the show: so far, what i think they're trying to do in the second half of bit city episodes is try to have one of those 'recurring segment' bits like they have on late night tv with the smosh cast, basically where the cast and host s play improvised games, now this isn't a bad idea but imo it is kinda pointless. liek i don't hate it as a segment, but i think it takes up a lot of run time which could instead be used for stuff like, idk, actual sketches? but if they are trying to do bits like this, i think what would be better is to bring back the 'google search history/watch history' sketches they used to do for this part of the show, since it actually fits quite perfectly. also, my advice for this segment of the show to elevate it a bti more is to really lean into the audience participation part of the show, i think they're trying to do that with the 'crew stories' part but so far they're kinda falling flat/hit or miss, so i think what would be better is to do stuff like have audiecne shots liek they do in real late night tv, play games which involve the audience, or if you wanna involve the crew stories,maybe do it in the format of like in the live show for under the mistletoe (or maybe it was UTI i dont remember) where they have one crew memeber or audience memebr on stage interacting with the cast in characters (like in UTI they had lisa's exes) or just have the crew member tell a story from their life and show them in the audience. that would be better imo.

hot goss - now for every episode where they don't do an improvised game or recurring segment, they do hot goss, which i think you can tell is trying to act as like the 'weekend update' of this show btu more leaning into pop culture elements, which, im sorry, i love you tommy, but this segment is very hit or miss. i don't hate tommy as a host, i think he has a lot of personaltiy which makes him likable and entertaing to watch at times, but this segment is just, very glass half full for me. i liked the stephen king's son episode i think that was well done, but i think my real advice for this segment is the same for the rest of bit city which truly is lean more into the character element of smosh, do stuff like 'deep dive into krungle's dating life' or 'GERALD CAKES TELLS ALL' stuff like that. or if you really want a segment to be about pop culture, then i think a better way to do that would be to maybe bring back the teleprompter bits that they used to do in smosh pit weekly back in like 2016 or so, OR, just get better writers (also cut it down - we do not need like 10 mins+ of amanda being chappell roan and sabrina carpenter's agent - which btw is SUCH a good idea for a character, but as all bit city bits, it fell flat).

--> ,however, i think a better way to do this type of 'weekend update' type show is bring back a smosh pit weekly esque segment - smosh weekly or bit city weekly - and THAT'S where you bring in the topical element of bit city, it's a much better way to do it imo. and you can still keep hot goss if you want to for as i previously siad the character gossip deep dives or the pop culture characters, but alos have this weekly show drive the 'topical' parts of bit city.

chanse jumping over a car - really have no commenrs on this one, i like it as a bit, i think it'll get old really quickly, but for what it is, i like it

@lilac-hecox @smoshkidtv @guessitrunsinthegenes @wazurenaide

[fractualized]

hi I sent that last ask and I appreciate you so much. I love how chill you are. I love that you speak up and aren't afraid of others people's opinions of you -- because you talking about that helps me realize exactly what you were talking about about.

my critical online space that shaped my brain was Tumblr growing up, much in the same way reddit or 4chan or anything else was for others, and as positive as it was and as much as I stay here, there were some HEAVY years of thought policing and performing perfectly at all times and I really think it fucked with my head!

not to trauma dump, but the way it related to starting off by policing each other in fandom just happened to spill into every other aspect of my life too. every thing is black and white. every interaction is perfect or you are flawed and not worth anything at all. people literally judging you off stupid fandom shit behind a fake name dressed up in sparkles and curiosity was enough to call you a monster who deserved to be alone. the fuck??

from fandom cops telling me that portrayals of fictional characters in my head were an actual meter that we can base if we're deserving of human connection made me think about what ELSE could be important. aren't there things a little more pressing than fictional characters?? the words I use. the way I behave. move my face. micro express, leave pauses in sentences, judged by everything! I've been taught that the LITTLEST OF INDICATIONS OF HUMANITY were going to be the death of me. I couldn't exist. all because of fictional themes that creators are allowed to make, but fans are not allowed to enjoy unless it's the "right way". even though the people CREATING it are also exploring it. rules for thee but not for me.

it's gross. I felt like a monster and when the only other people who are kind to you are monsters, it really makes you wonder why fandom cops find themselves so much morally superior to others 👹

People have told me I'm chill before and I'm always like, "excellent, they can't tell I'm yelling on the inside." 😂

Sometimes I wonder if I would be different if the show Heroes hadn't ended as such a clusterfuck. And by that I mean that my experience with that show ended on such a sour note, I wound up drifting away from fandom for 5-ish years. And it wasn't because of the Heroes fandom itself! It was because by the end I was hate-watching the show, and that kind of headspace is just no good. I wasted too much energy being mad at something that wasn't going to improve, and my other fandom interests weren't strong enough for fic, etc. I still lurked here and there, but otherwise I focused on life stuff.

At the point I left, tumblr was popular but I was still a livejournal (and journalfen) holdout. As a result, I was simply absent during the most intense tumblr years. I have a general idea of what it was like from everyone's descriptions, but from my point of view, five years passed, Telltale Batman: the Enemy Within came a-calling, I started writing fic again, and uhhhhh things sure were different.

Not entirely for the worse. For one thing, as someone who unavoidably grew older, yeah, I do keep in mind that there are children running around these parts. The increased focus on tagging your work is also good, so people can avoid what they don't want to see. And it's just always been a good general rule to be mindful when getting into sensitive topics, and I was seeing more of that.

Buuuuuuuut yeah, with that it seemed like "don't like; don't read" was out, and witch hunting was in. Some slight mistake might indicate you were actually one of the Bad Ones all the long! And everyone must know! I mean, there's always been fandom police, but fandom's mainstreamification definitely made it worse for a host of reasons. And I actually was unnerved by it for a while, even though the Enemy Within finale had me indulging in fluff. I was probably safe-- but then again who knows what blunder or improper deference to a sensitive subject could bring a swarm of strangers!

But eventually I was fluffed out, and chatting batjokes with people was giving me new ideas that would have me explore and indulge in (gasp) darker ideas. And by that point I was just like, I'm a freaking adult. I tag my shit. I'm here to have a good time with people I like, not worry about a bunch of randos who probably get as much anxiety making a cold call as I do. And yeah, why are fans supposed to be judged on a different metric than the creators?? I'm going to do what I want!

And with that rallying cry… I mean, nothing ever happened. 😂 Not the first time I've built up worries in my head for nothing.

I can see it taking me longer to get to that point if I'd fully marinated in the thought policing, though. I think people get that instinct because of the age-old lack of control elsewhere in life (especially nowadays, with all the… everything). Surely if someone can get everyone in their orbit to behave in just this way, then at least things there will be okay. Nothing bad will happen! (It's not as if rigid mindsets hurt people and their relationships, or performatively good people still do atrocious things. No, surely not.)

I don't have a good closing, so here's an Reno 911 icon from the old days:

[bil-daddy]

hi mr bildad um im just gonna dump this here since i have no one else to talk to

as someone who has always praised in their ability to be friends with anyone (i also need human interaction to survive btw) ive been feeling very lonely, especially since now are the school holidays.

my best friend (who is one year older than me) is barely online and doesn't take me seriously enough. and when i ask my friend group (with 2 other people my age) if they want to go out nothing happens. ive asked so many times but it's like they just don't want to hang out. and i keep seeing them post everywhere of them having fun with their OTHER friends (i don't know them bc they're from their primary schools; we are in secondary school now). and the obvious solution is to hang out with my primary school friends, right? well awesome news I DONT HAVE ANY.

and like ive just been feeling really really lonely especially today. i don't even text anyone except for my best friend, and even then she doesnt really respond properly because its like i dump a lot of messages and 4 hours later she skims through them, rinse and repeat.

(also side note i used to have another best friend but he ended up having a crush on me and didn't give me space so i kinda ended the friendship bc i wasn't comfortable with it)

during my entire TWO MONTH school holiday i haven't gone out with friends. not even once. while i see everyone else my age having so much fun and enjoying life while i just rot at home scrolling through tumblr.

so yeah im not really having a great time. hopefully when i get back to school in january things will be better

sorry for the long rant

Hey, kid (human). No need to apologize for the long rant. Actually, I've got a lot to say about this topic, too, so take a toilet break, grab a beverage and a snack, then sit down with your deal old Bildaddy (platonic, metaphorical) for a chat.

First off, sorry you're going through this. It hurts a lot when friends start fading away, and you realize they no longer consider you as close and you consider them. Feeling left out and like you don't have any real friends seriously sucks.

But it's actually something every single person goes through at some time or another--though most of us aren't brave enough to admit it like you have, because it feels embarrassing and shameful. Like there's something wrong with you.

There isn't.

There is nothing wrong with you.

Friends come and go, and 99% of the time it has nothing to do with you, or anything you've said or done. It isn't your fault. That doesn't mean it hurts any less, but it isn't your fault.

But that being said, I promise you, for every person you see pictures of having so much fun and enjoying life, there are twenty--probably even more--at home like you, scrolling tumblr, or tiktok, or reddit, or whatever the kids are scrolling these days.

And even those people you see posting pictures, that isn't their everyday life. They post pics of the good times, not the bad ones (well not usually) or the boring ones. Especially not the boring ones. I bet they do more sitting at home and scrolling than you think. They're just not advertising that for all their followers to see.

But that's not the point. The point is (dolphins! goats!) your current friends aren't fulfilling your need for socialization. And that means you need to find some new friends, anon.

You can still stay friends with your best friend and that old friend group. As in, don't send them a message officially ending the friendship, and don't delete and/or block them everywhere. You can still talk to them in school when you see them.

(Do unfollow them on social media if seeing them hang without you is upsetting--or better yet, pause on using social media entirely--except for tumblr, of course--until you're in a better place, mentally and emotionally. Bildaddy deleted instagram five years ago and never went back.)

But starting today, back off on asking these friends to hang out, and sending long text messages to your best friend that she only skims through. They're not matching your energy, so you need to start matching theirs. Either they'll notice the difference and start making more of an effort (no, not that kind), or they won't and they won't. But either way, you'll stop wasting your time.

Next, you take all the energy you were spending on your old friend group and start looking for new friends.

While you're still on winter break, there might not be as many opportunities, but there are some possibilities. Do you have any cousins around your age who might wanna hang out? Or maybe there are local events aimed at teenagers you can attend? Check libraries and community centers. Or on New Year's Eve, there might be some sort of Parents Night Out event you can volunteer for and help babysit a group of little kids, along with other teenagers that you could befriend?

Then, when winter break ends, look around your school for other students who might be in your same situation--and trust me there are others in your same situation. Is there someone who always sits alone at lunch? Or what about that kid in class who's too shy to speak up? Is there someone getting bullied or ostracized? Someone new to the school who hasn't made any friends yet? Look for the ones who might need a friend as much--or even more--than you do and try to befriend them.

It won't always work, no, cause nothing always works. But it will work sometimes. And you only need it to work enough times to make a couple friends. And if you make the right friend, they might have a friend group that you can join.

I know it's really scary to put yourself out there and make the first move. But you'd be surprised how receptive people are, especially the shy ones who are too scared to say 'hi' first, and rely on the braver ones, like you, for the human connection they need. Because we all need it. (Even me. Because I'm totally 100% human.)

Other ways to make friends are clubs, in school and out of school, which is probably what adults will suggest if you ask them, so I'm not going to spend much time on this. But they're right. If you're not already in clubs--academic, sports, art, books, music, anime, whatever your interest(s) is--join some! If there's nothing of interesting at your schools, churches and other local organizations might also have youth clubs and activities, too.

Shared interests in a sure way to make friends. I see it happening all the time on Tumblr. Those mutuals you wish didn't live so far away? Well, you can find mutuals just like them IRL! (Especially if you start or join a book club that reads Good Omens, or a tv show club that watches Good Omens)

Another option is getting a part-time job at a place other teenagers work. If this is something you can do without disrupting your schoolwork, try it. Fast food restaurants, cinemas, places like that.

You say you're someone who has the ability to be friends with anyone? Well, prove it! This isn't a threat, by the way. This is encouragement. I'm encouraging you.

Now go out there and make some friends, kid! I know you can do it! I believe in you, and everybody here is rooting for you.

And, as always, have an ox rib (platonic)

[darlingian]

weekly tag wednesday friday

thank you to these lovely ones who tagged me: @jrooc @creepkinginc @energievie @deedala @gardenerian

@blue-disco-lights @vintagelacerosette @heymacy

how did you get into the fandom? I just kinda inserted myself. Lmao. Followed a bunch of gallavich blogs and did some detective work to find an invite link to the discord. lolol

how long have you been here? just over a year! (this time) I've been on and off tumblr (with the same blog!) since 2010 though!

what’s the first fandom channel you found? (Youtube, Reddit, Tumblr, Insta, Twitter, FB, other?) Tumblr, aka the fandom Homeland.

what’s your favourite now? tumblr is my ol' reliable.

which mutual have you known the longest in the fandom? I first reached out to @gallawitchxx by being annoying in her inbox. Then I did the same to @gardenerian. Sorry pals.

which tumblerino’s did you have your first fandom crush(es) on and wanted to get to know? @gallawitchxx and @gardenerian , hence the inboxing. Buuuuut also @heymacy and @heymrspatel and @whatthebodygraspsnot and

@michellemisfit . You all seemed so cool and like authorities on the subject. lolol

first Gallavich fan fic you read (or that blew you away that you remember) The first gallavich fic I ever read was not very good. LOL. But the first one I fell head over heels for was Restoration by @palepinkgoat. I think about it all the time.

first fan art that blew your mind? @steorie art of some kind! Possibly something from Cooperative Gameplay? Or @deedala 's Mickey and Debbie fanart.

fanfic trope that you were sure wasn’t for you but now you low key (or high key) love? AUs. for a long while I refused to read anything but post series fics.

what surprised you most about this fandom? How much WORK people put into this fandom. There are so many people not only writing or making art or gifs etc, but there are people who have databases of deleted fics, fics that align with certain tropes, there are people organizing fan events like it's their job, people who are encouraging newbies, people making prompts lists and running very specific blogs for very specific fandom needs. everyone working together on this thing that we are all a part of. It's just so beautiful. And like yeah, this happens in other fandoms too. But the consistency here is just so lovely. Plus it feels big enough to usually stay pretty fresh, but also small enough that you can really form connections.

moment in the show (or YT vids if you’re one of those) that you fell in hyperfixation with Gallavich? I specifically remember watching the scene where Mickey is beating up Ian at the abandoned buildings in like 2013? and thinking "Oh no. I'm never getting over these two." and I took a break for a while but it did ending up being true so far. lol

ian or mickey? Ian Clayton Gallagher is so special to me I have a hard time articulating it. So, Ian. <3

which Gallagher or Milkovich are you? At times I have felt like Lip, Fiona, Mandy, but these days I feel like a Ian/Debbie combo.

I'm not tagging anyone else because I'm so late. <333

[herpartnerintime]

hiatus

for anyone who knows me on twitter/discord I'm taking a long hiatus from Life is Strange communities. I'm leaving twitter and discord and when I return I'll only be in other communities NOT life is strange communities. My IMs are open to anyone who wants to talk here on tumblr. I don't know when I'll come back to Lis communities outside the bubble of tumblr. I've been so so sad about the Max and Chloe situation. The lis fandom has become triggering, triggering me and my ocd and stressing me the fuck out for months and I realized I need to like, stay away. It becomes to tempting to read more feelings about Double Exposure and it triggers me all over again...

I just can't! I spent years thinking the leak that came with True Colors was true and that Max AND Chloe were coming back. I never expected them to bring back Max without Chloe, and I really didn't expect them to break them up OFF screen, via a letter, and turning Chloe into the way her haters see her. It hurts so much to have waited so long, to have held out hope that they'd be long distance wives for the game and we'd get a very special episode where she comes to see Max but NOPE.

After the Storm would have been a beautiful game, a BTS style game set directly after the storm, something like Emma's comics but focused on really diving into their love and trauma. God it would have been beautiful. Fans would have loved it. But no. All I have ever wanted is to SEE them actually be girlfriends. We only got that at the end of the comics. We still have to see a Bae kiss on screen. We only have one life to live, and is it silly I just really wanted a Max and Chloe after the storm game to exist for me in this life, for us in this life?

I'm so devastated. And the community is destroyed. Baers Pricefielders have nothing, trust is totally lost, and none of us see any light. I can't be in the lis fandom other than in this tiny bubble of tumblr. If any light returns, maybe I'll come back... maybe if they drop a DLC or a game that explains this was all a bad dream or that wasn't the real Chloe....

I need a long break before I find muse again. For my own mental health I can't look at reddit or discord or twitter or any lis space anymore, save for here. Any other lis space triggers me badly. Just will stay here so I know if any light comes back...

[voidpunkanathema]

IMPORTANT PSA

In recent times, /pol/ has turned Sylveon into a hate symbol and frequently uses her in transphobic, fascist and bigoted memes. Read my tweet for more information: https://twitter.com/WatchingTheChan/status/1760290278890422780 I recommend you stay away from theese types of posts and Sylveon for now, because many nazis outside of Reddit and other sane sites use Sylveon as an "inside joke" to identify and communicate with eachother. They have recently started posting them on Tumblr to intentionally harrass us and harrass transgender communities, but on other sites without active Trans Sylveon communities, sharing Sylveon edits (especially ones with the colors changed or made slightly more pastel to reflect the Dutch flag) has became a common dogwhistle. Also, remember: they are trying very innovative tactics to sneak bigoted Sylveons into our posts (Watch out for "Stealthjaks" or other hidden nazi imagery in Sylveon images). One of theese tactics is to make fake "snitch" accounts and misinform people on where theese attacks are coming from, so remember theese bulletpoints: - The trolls coordinate on 4chan's /pol/ (and on a few discord servers I've infiltrated and are watching right now) -They're spreading their mostly recently created affection for "nazi Sylveon" (aka "based Sylveon, "chudded Sylveon", "YWNBAW Sylveon") to other sites out of malice. Watch out for theese posts and report them. - Don't underestimate their tech savvyness. They will try their best to dox you if you present yourself as a great enough threat to them That is all, please share this to everyone you can. If you see theese Sylveon hate posts, report them, tell others about the bait, and move on. Stay safe out there! (please share this around I've been trying to warn people and raise awareness on my own for so long and honestly i'm so tired)

I was admittedly skeptical but I checked the Sylveon tag and there is indeed a raid going on 🙃 These people would better serve the world as fertilizer. Remember that the harmless things that give you comfort would never hate you, block and move on.

[redley-of-many-noodles]

IMPORTANT PSA

In recent times, /pol/ has turned Sylveon into a hate symbol and frequently uses her in transphobic, fascist and bigoted memes. Read my tweet for more information: https://twitter.com/WatchingTheChan/status/1760290278890422780 I recommend you stay away from theese types of posts and Sylveon for now, because many nazis outside of Reddit and other sane sites use Sylveon as an "inside joke" to identify and communicate with eachother. They have recently started posting them on Tumblr to intentionally harrass us and harrass transgender communities, but on other sites without active Trans Sylveon communities, sharing Sylveon edits (especially ones with the colors changed or made slightly more pastel to reflect the Dutch flag) has became a common dogwhistle. Also, remember: they are trying very innovative tactics to sneak bigoted Sylveons into our posts (Watch out for "Stealthjaks" or other hidden nazi imagery in Sylveon images). One of theese tactics is to make fake "snitch" accounts and misinform people on where theese attacks are coming from, so remember theese bulletpoints: - The trolls coordinate on 4chan's /pol/ (and on a few discord servers I've infiltrated and are watching right now) -They're spreading their mostly recently created affection for "nazi Sylveon" (aka "based Sylveon, "chudded Sylveon", "YWNBAW Sylveon") to other sites out of malice. Watch out for theese posts and report them. - Don't underestimate their tech savvyness. They will try their best to dox you if you present yourself as a great enough threat to them That is all, please share this to everyone you can. If you see theese Sylveon hate posts, report them, tell others about the bait, and move on. Stay safe out there! (please share this around I've been trying to warn people and raise awareness on my own for so long and honestly i'm so tired)

I’ve seen examples of this on several zionist and radfem blogs, and can attest that Sylveon is actively being used as a hate symbol and dog whistle.

So, fellow tumblweeds, if you engage with or are active in any Pokémon fandoms or even Pokémon-adjacent spaces, please reblog and spread the word. Don’t give this propaganda a foothold in your community.

[theangryjikooker]

Finally, a voice of reason is back 😁. I feel like our opinions on jikook are pretty similar. I like watching them interact, and they have a beautiful relationship, but I do not think it is a romantic one. At one point I got pulled into the shipping and started interpreting everything as a proof they are together, but I took a two weeks long social media detox and it helped me get out of it.

Somebody on reddit (I think) said that hard core shippers are like flat earth believers, and I couldn't agree more. You can find proof for anything if you really want to believe in it. If it was Taehyung going away before every live JK does, they would say it doesn't mean anything. Just like every proof of Taehyung and JK hanging out would be a proof of a relationship if it was Jimin instead. Same goes for Taekookers.

I tend to stay away from Tumblr because, in my experience, it's the worst place. On twitter and insta you can filter things out, but here almost everyone seems to be on the same level of delusional, so I am happy to see you back to bring some much needed common sense here 😊

Thanks, anon. 💜

From a hypothetical perspective, I'm not dismissing romance entirely since I would support them if more substantial evidence came to light about them, but definitely given what we know, it's not enough to make me feel that way. Like I've said before, among the members, they have the most unique dynamic, and that's worth acknowledging at the very least.

Shippers aren't really credible to the majority of the fandom, but this isn't news to anyone who spends enough time outside of shipping groups.

I agree with you on the Tumblr experience. I've been toying with the idea of bringing TAJ to Twitter and keeping a locked version of it over there. But that's also a slippery slope because Twitter tends to eat my time like nothing else.

[lone-rhapsodist]

Some major updates...

I am going to try to sum up the things that have happened in the past few weeks. I am trying to get back on track and move on and I need to get a few things off my chest before I can do that properly.

This post contains major updates about my Classics project, my Discord server, and a few new and upcoming projects. This is definitely a very long post, so I will put a 'Keep reading' below to make it easier on your dashboard. If you do want to read it, please make sure you have a tea or a coffee on the ready. As always, thank you for your patience and support!

First, the 'no' news. I received no reply from Working Classicists. I know I should insist. I know I should probably send a second email before giving up. But the reality is, no one is interested in my project to create an online community for Classics. Not in the way that I intend it, at least. So, I am quitting. Or to put it more positively, I am shelving this particular project for the time being, if not for good. I know I could try reaching out to Asterion and other organisations, but to be honest, I am not convinced. I am not convinced that anyone is really interested in the idea, or willing to work with me to make it happen, or both. The only person who understood what I was talking about and wanted to support me was that ex lecturer of mine from university. She is the best, bless her. But anyone else, whether academic folks or not, has been largely unresponsive. Christ, even the people I started working on this project with abandoned me just after a few months. I have been working on this on and off for years now. What is the point of keeping on banging my head against this wall? I no longer have the drive to keep going. Therefore, I shall stop.

Second, the 'bad' news. I deleted my Discord server, SymForum. I had been thinking about doing it for a while. I was keeping it as an experimental platform, in the hope that things with other organisations would pick up and I would be able to move on from it soonish. In the meantime, it made sense to keep the server as a testing ground for ideas, to see what worked, what didn't, what to keep and what to throw away. Turns out, what to throw away was the whole thing. Because the server was basically dead. And so there was no point keeping it if it was just going to stay dead. I would like to point out, there is no problem whatsoever with that. If anyone on here was on it and they were just lurking, that is absolutely fine. I am lurker number 1 here. I lurk on Facebook. I lurk on Twitter. I lurk on Reddit. I lurk pretty much anywhere but here, and by most Tumblr users' standards, I reckon my activity on here is pretty much lurking anyway. I lurk on Discord too, especially since I've got nothing to contribute to most conversations. When I have something to say, I'll say it, but that ends up being like one time in a million, and then that one time is fine, but it's one in a million, so, it is what it is. Anyway, as a major lurker myself, am I really going to blame people for lurking on my server? Hell no. But am I going to blame myself for it? Hell yes. Because I'm supposed to run the show here. And I hate doing that. I hate being in charge of things. It's the story of my life, and I just can't do that anymore. So I deleted the server. And in my opinion, good riddance. If it was supposed to be a playground for my project, it showed that people are not interested in bringing in their ideas and asking for advice on how to develop them further nearly as much as I thought they would be, and that's fair enough. But if it was supposed to be a Discord server in the traditional sense, then there's already plenty that fit the bill, and I'm happy to recommend them: Classics Central; Miletos; The Cambridge Latin Discord Server; Tychon's Symposium; and for those of you who like hoarding stuff, the Classicists' PDF Society. There are also several subreddits that are valid, such as r/latin, r/ancientgreek, r/classics. I hope you find these useful.

Now, the 'good' news, at least for me, I guess. While I was damning myself with these questions about how to create an online Classics community in any way, shape, or form, something remarkable happened. A local Classics community popped up on my Facebook feed and I was invited to attend an event. Literally 15 mins away from my house. The timing couldn't have been better. While I was in the depths of my struggle, I had at some point contemplated the idea of moving this project of a Classics community from online to physical. I am not going to give away where I am based, but I live in a pretty big place, and it always struck me as odd that, amongst all these very official Classics academic societies, nothing existed that was more open to the general public. I did look into how I could get something like this started, but options seemed limited to using Facebook and word of mouth, and even then, I wasn't quite sure what the actual thing should look like. Online, I always wanted something like a forum, but in real life, what would it be? A monthly meet up? A book club? No idea. So, when this society came up on Facebook and I went to their first event, I was very impressed. The aim of the society is to promote Classics among everyone, through informal meet ups in which we read something in translation and then have a discussion alongside it. It's very chilled, very simple, and to be honest, very enjoyable. Our first meet ups have been about a few Platonic dialogues, and again, I was so happy with them -- we just sat down with tea and biscuits, took turns reading the dialogue, and from time to time had a pause to discuss what we just read and share our thoughts on it. From conversations I've had with the person who started this, it is clear to me that this is intended for anyone with an interest in Classics, with no need for prior learning, which I really appreciate. So, to me, it seems like a no brainer that I should invest more time into the society, and that I should help them develop further. I am currently applying to become part of their committee, and hopefully I will be able to join them soon. But even if for some reason I was unable to, this is a very valid project, and it makes sense that I should try to contribute to it, since it is very local to where I live, and it's perfectly in line with my job, and indeed, if there is any way in which anything even remotely close to my own original project could ever develop, it is through things like this -- grassroots approaches to Classics communities, similar to Working Classicists, grounded in reality, with real people, through real conversations. That's not to say that what happens online isn't real! But it is something I'm noticing, at least for myself, with all this 'online living' that I do, that because of it, sometimes I tend to lose touch with reality, and in turn, I end up not doing things in the real world that I would like to do, as if doing things online could be a replacement for that. Online can complement reality -- indeed, it is an extension of it. But online is online, and reality is reality. It's not easy to articulate, and I still struggle with the concept myself at times, but I do see a nuance, a difference, a distinction etc. I think that me moving the project from online to physical is a positive thing, and I look forward to exploring it further, and this not just for this particular project, but for other ones too.

Of course, technically speaking, the society does not (yet) fully replace the project, and in that sense, there are still some things which I would like to experiment with online, if at all possible, some more in an active way, some more in a passive one. An example of passive project is what I would like to refer to as 'Classics Helpdesk'. You know what a helpdesk is. It's a form of IT or other support desk that you go to or contact to ask questions about a problem that you need help with. That's what I want to do, but for Classics. Basically, the idea is to create a helpdesk where everyone who has any questions about anything Classics related (a text, a topic, a bit of Latin, university, work, you name it) can ask it, and I will respond, and I will try my best to help them with it, and hopefully it will actually help. It's essentially the idea that was at the heart of the project -- to help others develop their ideas about the ancient world -- but stripped to its core and reduced to something like "I'm a Classics person, ask me anything" as a service for anyone to use. I like it, because it requires no real work -- it will probably be just a pinned post at the top of my main blog, inviting people to send me any asks, even anonymously, or just message me, and I will respond, either publicly if it's an ask, or privately if it's a message. The details can be refined as I go, but basically that's the gist of it. Again, it would be good for me because it would require essentially no work, and I could just sit here and mind my own business, and then, whenever someone sends me a request for help, I can info-dump them with whatever they need, and hopefully make them happy, and definitely also make ME happy in the process, because let's face it, this is as much about making me happy as it is about making you happy -- with making you happy being more important by a pretty good margin, but still, it's a win-win. And don't get me wrong, this is not intended to rival or replace the already great number of brilliant people on here who also offer this kind of service. If anything, I would simply like to join their number in a more official fashion, by putting myself out there through my own helpdesk service, and hope that I can actually be of service to anyone. In the past, I've had a couple of people send me asks with questions about Latin stuff or Greek mythology, and it was so fun to sit down and respond to them, and I hope that I may be able to share again that kind of happiness with others in the future. So yeah. Classics Helpdesk. Please watch this space.

As for the more active side of the project, the one specifically about helping people develop their ideas about the ancient world… I think it's about time I faced the fact that the one person who really needed help developing their ideas… is me. So, one of my personal goals with this thing for the upcoming academic year -- yes, I still measure my year goals using the school calendar… I'm a teacher, don't judge me -- is that I should actually start, well, writing. And not give a fuck about it. Like, what it looks like, whether it's good or bad etc. This is an incredibly painful thing for me, and so far I have found it really hard to make the time to make it happen. But I just can't bear to keep not doing this any longer. So, here we are. The great idea to help me make this easier for myself is to do a bit like I'm doing for my Classics project and try to ground it more into reality. One thing I had considered was starting a podcast, because I noticed that when I talk about my ideas out loud with people in my life it's a lot easier to get the words out and make things make sense. However, lately I have been thinking that something that could work well for me instead is writing dialogues. This is something that goes back a long way for me personally, as dialogues were some of the very first original posts I ever wrote on Tumblr -- not on this blog, but on my old one, and in my native tongue. It was a great way to get thoughts out and do some self-critique without being too harsh or lenient on myself. As an informal way to explore my own ideas about the ancient world, I think it could work very well. Not to mention that dialogues are literally THE form of self- and collective reflection from the ancient world par excellence. So yeah, I cannot think of a better way to do this. I could still try other things. Letters are a possibility. Essays too. But first, I need to regain some confidence in my writing. I hope that this will help.

Lastly, I should perhaps mention that, at some point, you might end up seeing some of my own poetry on this blog too. This is mainly because Poetizer, where I first started posting my poetry, is now turning to a subscription-based model -- those bastards… So now I have to consider moving somewhere else. I always thought I would end up on Tumblr with my poetry too anyway, so I suppose this is just the sign that I need to make the move. I don't know when, I don't know how. I don't know whether to make another blog for it. I guess it would make sense. I already have neon-rhapsodies as an archive for my blogging, plus ideally that is where the dialogues would go as well. However, I do think that the poetry should be separate. I think I'll probably stick with the identity I had crafted for myself on Poetizer, but we'll see. In the meantime, it's exciting to think about all the possibilities that might materialise in the future.

Man, this was a long post. Thanks for sticking along for the ride. I am sorry if you were invested in my Classics project as it originally was, and wanted me to keep going with things as they were. I hope you can see why a change was needed, and that you will be happy to keep following any developments in this sense. I am grateful as ever for all your encouragement and support. Thank you, and take care.

[conniemb]

I see so many people online just constantly complain about destiny and bungie as a company but y'all still playing the damn game. Like I know it has a lot of issues with servers and connections nd bugs and whatnot but honestly what game made in this day and age fukin doesn't. I don't think Destiny is a game that is made for gaming sake if you know what I mean. Its made for sweaty little lore goblins that're just happy to be playing as their character and experiencing the world. I've only jus come back to destiny so I'm sure there's a lot I haven't experienced and am yet to experience but I've been basically playing destiny none stop for a week now and the only thing I've had issues with is slight connection issues which tbh is just caused by my shitty internet. Idk if it's a difference in servers cuz I play on ps4 but like it kinda jus be feeling like every other game rn in terms of how it runs. I understand the concept of like voicing your opinions so bungie actually does something about it but it just feels so constant. I've just been staying away from the main destiny subreddit because istg the first like 5 posts I see are jus people nagging on about the games issues that I'm apparently immune to cuz I haven't been experiencing them. Like I get it but the negativity feels so constant at the same time. Tumblr gaurdians on the other hand jus be out here making they fun arts and fanfics and jus generally having a good time. I'm much preferring the atmosphere here and it feels much more welcoming for newer players. I'm honestly thinking that half the reason it took me so long to get back into destiny was because of my time spent trying to learn stuff off Reddit which was a huge mistake. My advice would be to jus dive into the game how you like and see if you stick. Try keep to positive spaces if possible cus no matter how much you enjoy a game if your new to it or freshly coming back and all your getting from the online community is negativity it's gonna make you wanna jump ship.

[floweronthetopofagun]

If you're here from my Twitter, hello ♡

The birb site is going downhill by the day thanks to Musk so I've returned to tumblr (I've had this blog since I was like 16 sooo... please don't judge the absolute crap that it's full of if you scroll far enough back!), I've changed up my blog's theme and will be looking for new blogs to follow!

I've been active here on and off over the last 10 years so there's a big ol' mix of posts, and ngl it'll probably stay that way because my neurodivergent brain hyperfocuses on new shit all the time lmao. But I want this to be close to Twitter where it's my safe space on social media and I can post whatever and fit into communities here, but that being said I'm flaky as hell with tumblr and may just disappear again in a month lol.

Anyway I'd rather this not be insanely long, but thank you for coming here from Twitter if you did and if you've just stumbled upon my blog here randomly and want to stick around then thank you too ♡ (I'm using these hearts because idk yet if emojis are acceptable on tumblr?? I know they aren't on reddit but I've been away from here too long to know haha)

I have a hello page on my blog (not sure if it's accessible on the app mind you!) if you'd like to get to know me better and my inbox is open too.

[ibbys-dump]

twitter sucks, so I'm mainly posting on here now, mind joining in?

heyoo! it's been a while since I've been on here but I think I'd like to start somethign new :)

if you don't mind, could I take ~20 minutes of your time (maybe less if you get the gist of it and scroll)? it'd mean a lot ♥

twitter...

twitter is a GREAT app!

before, this account used to just be reposting art and spamming random thoughts like it's twitter, but I've learnt since then that this isn't twitter at all. twitter has some great stuff, I get to talk to friends, find more through mutuals, share and reblog art, and become more immersed in the communities I love! that's great to me, but it resulted in me being stuck with it... and I mean stuck.

twitter is the ONLY app I can use!!

I've tried to leave the app several times, but the thing is all my friends are on it, so I have to use it to talk to and stay updated on my friends. I barely tried a discord server, but starting conversations really aren't easy when there's nothing to talk about. the thing with twitter is that it lets you be updated on what your friends are doing, so you can chime in and talk about whatever, it's a cute ecosystem that messaging apps and stuff like reddit struggle to maintain (reddit posts and replies are messy but I can't pin on why lol, just take my word for it [also who has a private subreddit lol]). BASICALLY twitter is too good to leave.

twitter kinda really sucks...

now you may ask why I'd want to leave the ideal app? well, twitter DOES have its problems and I think many are aware of it. it has a practically unmoderated void of the timeline that you can't help but check out to find new people, but you just get an unrelated mess of people posting 7 word phrases for interactions from randoms and it becomes an addicting cycle to scroll. just checking the app after being logged out awhile resulted in 20-40 minute scrolls, and it's taken away from my morning sometimes.

on top of this, GOD twitter is depressing.

HEY, HERE'S A HOT MORALLY CONCERNING HEAVILY DEBATABLE DEPRESSING TAKE THAT'LL RUIN YOUR MOOD‼️‼️👈👈♻️❤️ (1/14 tweets of slowly increasing dread!)🧵

... is an inevitability that you'll see often while just trying to look for your friend's posts, or sometimes they'll even repost it on their page... and it gets depressing. I don't want to see the world falling apart while I'm talking to friends, I get politics is important but my #1 rule is that it isn't shoved down my throat, and twitter is the biggest discriminator without a doubt.

twitter is also a huge unmoderated pit of posts, I've muted all that I can but people still find a way to be sexual, even minors but that's a whole other rabbit hole. there's no real way to mute it all, and it sucks. nobody uses spoilers on images, and twitter's timeline is a mess so you'll get some random's TOP 10 WACKY OPINIONS ON RANDOM WOMEN out of nowhere ┐⁠(⁠´⁠ー⁠｀⁠)⁠┌

the thing is, twitter was made back in like 2008 to post very short phrases on what you're doing, but now it's evolved poorly into a mixed mess of becoming THE social media app

so use Tumblr, PLEASE..!

the good without the dreadful

I didn't realize that 2010s web-blogs were the future, but blogs actually are a perfect solution! I read this article not too long ago, and I loved it. isn't it cool being able to just read some person's cool opinions and thoughts on their little journeys?! from there I got to thinking...

"didn't Tumblr have a blogs system as cool as this??"

it does!! I can check in on my friends on one page dedicated to them all, I can support cool artists, I can meet new mutuals, find new people with the # pages actually being useful (twitter's one sucks, don't you lie to me), the For You ONLY shows tags I follow, sexual content is banned, people actually use #s in posts which I can mute easily, there's like no politics and I can enjoy my space in PEACE!

so can you help me out and use Tumblr with me?

this is literally the best app for literally any community, but the tragic thing is not enough people use it. I get that new can be scary, and a month ago when I did use it, it was pretty difficult, but once you get the hang of it, you'll learn to love the new side of your communities! you also have your own space, so you can post your slick rhythm game scores or live posts of tv shows, it's great!

so with the whole essay I made, totally consider adding Tumblr to your ecosystem! make an account, get started talking to people, share the love for this app getting new people in here, and have fun!

you're gonna need some basic "get started" tips and get some extensions maybe, tumblr is an old place and has its own style, so I wouldn't skip these (they're short, promise!)

here's a twitter thread I used ages ago, super useful!

apparently my friend used this and got good tips, some extra pointers if you're interested!

as for me, I'll be talking more about things with you people on both apps, but mainly on here, this is the return I'm comfortable with, I'll still be on twitter for random silly posts, but general stuff goes on this blog. I hope this works well enough and I really would love to see all of you guys on here too!

> thanks for reading this, it means a lot

- ibby❤️

[phantomrose96]

Chrissy help how do you keep motivation for such huge writing projects?? I've seen you posting about abot for a long time but I just clicked it and it's got like 360k words. My guy you are incredible and if you've got secrets to share I'd be very interested. Major props to you

(ABoT)

I'm hoping to resurrect Dickinsonian-era "paid by the word" writing gigs and retire off ABoT Kidding! kidding! I make 0 dollars and 0 cents off ABoT do not sue me IP holders.

More genuinely it's a couple things I guess. One big and simple one being just--I really like the story. It's long because there are a lot of parts I like and wanted to tell. Another is spite, because for a long period of time between 2017-2020 I thought I would never be able to come back to the story so it's something of a "fuck you look what I made anyway."

But I really REALLY think the biggest part to this all was the (tough, but doable) process of learning to be okay with this story taking however long it's gonna take, and being however long it's gonna be.

Back in the days when Tumblr was really a hub for fandom, fandom attention was extremely fleeting, and when you had any of it, it felt like it was always moments away from vanishing. Tourmaline, my 80k Steven Universe fic, I wrote in the span of just over 2 months. I had a chapter out roughly every 2-3 days for that entire sprint. I'm proud of pulling that off. But my main motivation for doing that was absolutely the fear of losing people's attention and interest if I dawdled even a little.

Early-days ABoT was like that too. The first 9 or 10 chapters were all posted in intervals of about 2-3 days apart. I was staying up extremely late to do this which wasn't good for me and I was doing it because I was afraid of losing people's interest and I was getting more intimidated the more I realized how long ABoT would likely be. And then for school and life reasons, my update schedule absolutely had to slow. And I was having a bad time because it was like I could feel myself losing readers and losing relevance, and the backlash was growing, and even when I was finding the time to write I'd started burning out hard on my passion for the story. I'd get frustrated with my own plot and characters, and you can't write a good passion project while frustrated with the characters.

And then I kinda quietly admitted defeat because the stress and the backlash were too much to handle and I couldn't wring anymore of this from myself. After a 1 year, 2 years, I was pretty much sure my readership was long gone. I still thought about the story constantly! I still cared. I just figured I'd missed my window and would never be able to come back except to backlash.

Then just shy of 3 years, I said "fuck it, actually" and wrote the next chapter (okay it was a lot more complicated than "fuck it" but that would take too long to explain.) And in FACT, a ton of the readership came back! It was an extremely warm reception! And new readers, too. Just a lot of really warm, positive feedback. Which absolutely blew my mind because it was completely at odds with my feeling that things needed constant updates to cling to relevance. And the idea of "well if they waited 3 years..." has helped me a lot with allowing time and breaks between chapters. I don't burn out on them. I edit them more. My update schedule's been more like 2-6 weeks between chapters, rather than days.

Allowing that down time, letting ABoT be a steady jog instead of an all-out sprint, has been absolutely crucial to getting as far through it as I am. Even right now, it's been pretty long since chapter 45. I dove super deep into putting ch45 together and I kinda needed some time off after to decompress and step away to not risk burn out. Which was very needed and helpful and now I'm back to chugging through ch46.

There was an old comment, I think on Reddit, that I read years ago which has stuck with me ever since. Someone was recounting a conversation with a single mother who was considering going back to college to get her degree, but was hesitant to do so because she would be 40 by the time she graduated. To which the other person responded "You'll be 40 anyway."

And "you'll be 40 anyway" plays in my head a lot. Like, ABoT's been going for almost 6 years. Well 6 years were going to pass anyway. ABoT might not be done for x-many more months. X-many more months are gonna pass anyway. Time's gonna happen anyway. So I'm not worried about whether this thing is still going by then or not. I'm just keeping at it until it's done.