#that falls under the relative privilege thing imo

[woodswake]

sometimes i think, in marginalized communities (maybe especially disability communities) people fall into a trap of viewing things as... not exactly a competition, but resenting others who are also suffering because they are suffering less, or suffering differently

and that experience itself is very common to have happen, and nothing is wrong about feeling that way! we can all be a little mean and petty in private sometimes as a treat

i think though it causes problems when people take that feeling and extrapolate it out to "and therefore the other people aren't really suffering at all"/"and therefore the other people shouldn't get to complain at all"

like, to me there is a big difference between "hey, you know you are relatively privileged in (not appearing visibly disabled/being nd but having been labelled gifted/being read as white or straight or cis/being trans but not transfem/etc. etc.)" - which is true and an important reminder!!

and "how dare you complain about the experiences you had with that version of being marginalized" or dismissing that there might be particular unique aspects of that aspect of being marginalized that make things difficult

like, i would never argue that as someone who is non-aligned nb and read as a cis woman, i am MORE marginalized than a transfem person who doesn't "pass". but i would say it is reasonable for me to point out frustrations and hardships about that position - both those we have in common (e.g. people equating sex and gender) and those that are unique to my situation (feeling invisibilized by binarist phrasing/thinking, frustration with knowing that even if i had infinite money and resources i could never be read by default as my real gender, etc.)

[balrogballs]

re. prayers wank - ngl am very curious to know about your ambivalence/not too much love for arundhati roy's novel + covenant of water. i haven't read the latter, but i have ambivalent feelings about the former (esp. re. the question of caste) & would love to hear yr thoughts if you'd like to share (feel free not to as well)

oooh what a delicious question! i’ve put most of it under the cut btw…

So with Covenant of Water my gripe is mainly that I just don’t like it hahaha, nothing particularly academic. I think it goes too ham on the exoticised exceptionalism re: ✨ the backwaters ✨ but instead of making a point with it (eg. Roy does the exceptionalism stuff too but imo with her it works pretty well for the most part bc she’s clearly conscious of it) even if about the individual story, not even a national point or whatever, it’s just very… travelogue.

Which is fine because it was clearly written for an audience unfamiliar with Kerala and I know that’s a difficult one, but when the whole book is just that sort of thing, navel-gazing to the point of nursery rhyming, it got grating. And that plus the overly melancholic migratory trajectory tracing, except instead of doing something interesting and looking at, say, Kerala-Gulf migration and the various shades of it, it does the same tired UK/US medical-professional thing… it actually had a really interesting narrative with the “medical issue” plotline but it was just, er, coated in wank.

With Roy, I’m honestly a fan of her stylistically speaking, I really love maximalist prose (too much I’d say…), she did some deliciously nasty things with language… but yes the casteist elements of what is ostensibly an anticaste novel was eyetwitchy to me. Mainly how Velutha is written, actually, that explicit fetishisation, writing of him like the divine incarnate, he and his family’s privileged, primal “understanding” of nature, the “noble savage” etc — and while it would have been perfectly fine and effective to describe him like that when viewed through Ammu’s perspective to show the impact of caste on her own gaze, it’s just a constant refrain presented either through omnescient or child-Rahel’s perspective… had it even been adult Rahel, I’d be like yeah totally fair, but it wasn’t, so it just sounds uncomfortably like the authorial voice doing it rather than narratorial.

The “god of small things” is, of course, Ammu’s view of him, but it is also present in descriptions of him that has nothing to do with Ammu or her gaze. It’s definitely not a purely-Roy problem ofc, most UC writers writing Dalit characters fall into the same hole… Roy does have a general tendency to do this though, especially with Dalit men of a certain age, even beyond GoST - if it didn’t rear its head so blatantly in Walking With the Comrades as well, I’d not have been so icked about its presence here, especially as she was quite young when GoST was published, but alas…

Other thing is obviously the police’s treatment of Velutha showcased purely through the impact it has on the Ayemenem family. This too, presented uncritically aside from the “bad” or explicitly casteist characters being dicks about it. The extreme level of brutality is not my issue of course, it’s relatively realistic, but rather that being used as a not-very-effective literary tool to showcase the arm of the state acting as per the wishes of a regionally powerful family + in the aftermath of the death of a young white girl. All these elements just had me thinking about Velutha as a figure nakedly brutalised for the sake of showcasing brutality — trying to do too many things at once and so doing very little at the end. I guess the most straightforward way I’d put it would be that I felt like the novel would have ended and read very similarly had the death-in-custody not happened (but all the other “transgressions”, including Sophie’s death, had).

I think again about the real life case that most literary depictions of anti-left police brutality in Kerala, including this one, tends to reference in some way or the other (hell my fic has a direct reference) because it was so stark in cultural memory - as in Comrade Rajan’s torture and death in the custody of the Kerala Police during the Emergency. Rajan’s case, however, was so memorable and tragic not because of what the police did to him (for there were Rajans in every police station across the country) but rather because of how his father went all the way to the President to find out what happened to his son, etc.

And what I thought Roy did badly by choosing to parallel elements of said case and transpose it directly into a caste context + 1969 context without changing any other details, was that it simply becomes about this rootless, free-flying forgotten figure spurned by even his family, who after his “transgression” had no connection to the land except through Ammu’s family, and the “he leaves no footprints” thing to me seemed a bit overdone halfway through the novel when it starts to become a little “he leaves no footprints anywhere EXCEPT IN MY BOOK”.

Because the thing with the Rajan case was that Rajan was very upper caste and his family very educated even if not wealthy, he was a college/student activist at one of the best colleges in the state at the time — those elements are removed entirely when it comes to adapting his story for Velutha’s, and again presents anti-caste brutality in isolation, viewed solely through the lens of an upper caste family’s experience of it…

My last issue is honestly an unfair nitpick because I’m certain Roy had no idea re: how globally popular the book would end up being when she wrote it, but it’s mainly the lack of contextualisation of the national political theatre. Everything she says about the CPIM of the 1960s is absolutely right, as is everything she says about the state’s ideological superiority complex, same with everything she says about the mindset of Old Syrian Christian Families who are Communist “in name but not nature”. But the hyperlocal setting meant that the Party and its people were not showcased as a part of what was in its entirety a rotting national fabric, but rather a problem specific to the Kerala context and the Communist context — her understandable and correct derision towards the CPIM of the period I think would have been more effective when placed in a national framework for the reader not familiar with South Indian politics…

however again, I don’t fault her for this as the book obviously was a very surprise win on the Booker stage and was not exactly written with that global audience in mind. But yes in general I think it lessens the effectiveness of her Kerala-exceptionalism, which she uses as a tool very well in general, to present it as so exceptionalist that the Indira-shadow on the arms of the state that was incredibly present in 1969 to be bypassed almost entirely…

I’m being a bit wanky here ngl, I’ve met her a couple times and she’s very nice, and I do genuinely like her style and work in general, I just think there are Certain Issues however where she’s treated as somewhat of an authority figure when she very much isn’t. And a lot of that’s less to do with her tbh and more her being put on that Mouthpiece of India pedestal by the Anglophone lit world for a while, because other than the Booker judges irritation/controversy about her win, she was very palatable to that specific group in several ways, many of which were beyond her control, eg the way she’d looked, the way she spoke, her Hindi+Bengali upbringing and fluency meaning she was appealing to that crowd as well…

I am so sure this sounds SUPER incoherent 😭😭😭 but hopefully it makes a little sense? I think this also (and I am in no means calling my silly little fic a work of Literature, it’s honestly more of a fever dream plus diary from hell) goes some way to explaining some of the choices in said story as well

but yes haha I have too many thoughts on the matter i think

[queerofthedagger]

I would love to hear your essay on why Merlin didnt own telling Morgana about his magic, because it honestly makes me mad when people say he should have since he too had magic

Ooh hey, thanks so much for the ask! And about one of my favourite pet peeves too 😂❤️ I have a lot to say on that because yeah, it makes me mad too. This got really long, so I apologize for that in advance... (I tried to put some of it under a readmore but tumblr is being a pain again.)

Obligatory disclaimer that obviously, everyone’s entitled to their opinion and I’m not aiming to change anyone’s mind.

First of all, I think it gets ignored sometimes that Merlin didn’t actually leaver her alone or didn’t try to help. He very much did so in “The Nightmare Begins,” by finding out how to get her to the Druids. This is directly after she tells him about her belief that she has magic and that she’s scared, and he does so against the explicit orders/advice from both Gaius and Kilgharrah.

When he goes to find her because Uther is executing people and she refuses to go back, he doesn’t pressure her. People are getting killed about it, and yet when she says, “I'm sorry. I'm never going back. These are my people. They're like me. I don't feel so alone here. Do you understand?” his only answer is “Better than anyone.”

But yeah, it does tell him that when it comes down to a choice between self-preservation and saving others, Morgana will choose the former. And that’s fine, to some degree! People are allowed self-preservation and putting themselves first, and Merlin and Arthur often are self-sacrificing to a truly unhealthy degree. That being said, I personally find it questionable if accepting the death of innocent, also at least under-privileged if not oppressed people for your own sake is the morally “right” choice but as I don’t want to start a philosophical rant here, let’s leave it at that.

There’s—imo—more than one reason why Merlin didn’t owe her anything; first of all, I personally don’t think you ever owe anything of this kind to anyone, ever. Just because someone tells me a huge secret, doesn’t mean I have to do the same, especially if it’s a life-threatening one; all you “owe” is kindness, understanding, and keeping the secret that was entrusted to you. All of which Merlin did.

Then there’s the whole axis of power to their relationship; Morgana might be nice and treat Gwen and Merlin with respect, but that doesn’t erase the huge difference of station between them. Since the first week Merlin arrived in Camelot, he saw that the word of a servant, his word, meant absolutely nothing against a knight, noble, or actual royal.

Morgana didn’t hand him any power over herself when she revealed her secret. Merlin, on the other hand, would’ve handed her complete power over his life or death. I’m not saying Merlin would’ve ever revealed her secret under any circumstances—I actually think if he had told Arthur in season 3, Arthur would’ve believed him; he’s proven he would, more than once. But it wasn’t only about being believed, it was also, still, about not giving her away. (Though to be fair here—what it was also about was that she threatened to reveal that he poisoned her. Which, obviously, fair to some degree but if she did that, I doubt she would’ve revealed why he did, which ultimately only plays back into my point that Morgana’s loyalty is conditional. Which, again, is a valid stance to have, but not that of a person I’d trust with such a secret.)

Anyway. Just because Merlin never would’ve revealed her secret, doesn’t mean that the difference in their potential power over each other wasn’t there, and it’s important. Especially if you look back to the start of season 2 where—even before she turned her back on Camelot—Morgana made it clear that for her, self-preservation prevails when it comes right down to it.

Well, and thirdly, there’s also the matter of destiny and responsibility if Merlin’s own safety and well-being isn’t already enough (which it is, just in case there was any doubt about my opinion on that matter.) Of course, in season 2, Merlin’s not yet as fixated on Arthur as he is later, not even on destiny, as his intention to leave Camelot shows (if he had stayed away is another question altogether but I digress.) Still, Kilgharrah made it pretty clear that this was about more than Merlin, and while Merlin definitely didn’t always listen to him, the threat was immense.

And it wasn’t only about Arthur either, I’d even say that in the great scheme of things, Arthur played relatively little into this decision; it was about his people as a whole, and it was about Gaius because if Merlin had been revealed, Gaius had already proven that he’d try taking the fall if not get accused of harbouring a sorcerer. I don’t think this alone would’ve been enough, but taken together with the other points, I think it did have some weight in Merlin’s decision and I also think that it was a valid choice to make even beyond the “you don’t have to reveal anything to anyone even if it’s only because you don’t want to.”

Last but not least, I also think it’s important to keep in mind how long they’ve known each other which, at that point, were maybe two years. Merlin’s been most likely told from the day he could understand it to never reveal himself to anyone. Until Freya, Merlin never tells anyone on his own volition (except maybe Will, we don’t know, but they’ve known each other their whole lives), and it’s impossible to compare the circumstances. Just because Morgana told him in what she herself calls a moment of weakness does not mean Merlin has any obligation to do the same.

I want to reiterate that he did try to help her, actively with the Druids, and also passively by reassuring her that there’s nothing wrong with her and that he will keep her secret. This is already more than he would have to do—the whole thing with the Druids put Merlin at risk too, arguably much more than her. Of course, that has never stopped him which is what we love about him, but I think that it’s more than enough. Merlin is not responsible for fixing every little thing in Camelot, he’s not responsible for other people’s actions and decisions, and he did more than could be expected of him.

Which is also why I think that if he had told her about his magic, it wouldn’t have changed anything in the long run, but as this is already way too long, let’s leave that can of worms for another time...

[risingsouls]

Headcanon 1: Nappa

[I think this is actually 2 but I forgot to pull the other one over from the old blog like a FOOL.

I’m not sure if it was watching the episode of GT where all the villains return and the scene where Nappa and Vegeta are face to face again after the latter murdered the former was INCREDIBLY disappointing or just creating this blog has me thinking about it, but I think in the little time we see Nappa, whether in the manga/anime canon, movies, game appearances, etc., his most striking trait is his loyalty. To Vegeta and by extension the Saiyan royal family. Additionally, he exercises his loyalty to the Saiyan race after their extermination by continuing to instill Saiyan culture and practices in Vegeta and Raditz despite being under Frieza’s thumb. As the only one left who had lived in a Saiyan culture before the Cold’s and Frieza (I’m still playing with the timing of this; the timeline I looked up and my own general HCs agree that it wasn’t LONG that he had this privilege. Someday I’ll decide on a number. Maybe), he felt this was his duty to not only the prince but to Raditz as well.

That said and going back to that GT scene, Nappa is portrayed as angry and bitter over Vegeta killing him...and well that’s all we get before Vegeta kills(?) him again. I feel like this is a disservice to a more complicated issue as it only focuses on one facet and a very surface level interpretation of Nappa’s death and how he would feel about it.

While I agree that he would be pissed--who wouldn’t when betrayed by the guy you practically raised and served for at least half of your life--I think his emotions would be more mixed than that, and it stems from what I’ve gleaned from the series about Saiyan culture (a challenge when they seem to want to retcon and change the whole narrative of most things pre-Z) and my own headcanons in extending that lore.

For the most part, Saiyans seem to be relatively loyal, at least to each other. We see that in Bardock with his team as well as Nappa to the King and later his son. Even Raditz to an extent considering his treatment (whoops). Vegeta himself and Raditz is a bit more hmmm complicated, but this isn’t about them and is another conversation. Probably the better point here is the older Saiyans show a fairly high amount of loyalty to their fellow Saiyans, especially before the fall of Planet Vegeta, and this was likely something that survived through the Cold takeover.

Additionally and unquestionably, strength is another HUGE facet in Saiyan culture. We see this both in pre-Z content and throughout at least the first half of Z. For example (and the biggest foreshadowing ever), is how Vegeta and Nappa both talk about Raditz being weak. When discussing the Dragonballs and the prospective wish, Nappa assumes they will use their wish to revive Raditz (which goes back to the loyalty thing, as well as imo his own ideas of you know...keeping as many Saiyans alive considering there is only three of them at that moment). Vegeta immediately reprimands him for the idea, reasoning that they had no need for weaklings (arguably, a bit of Frieza and HIS ways likely coming out here, but again, another conversation). To me, Nappa agreeing could of course be out of fear of arguing with Vegeta about that, but I think it’s also because it is sound logic for a Saiyan: the strong survive and they had no use for weak Saiyans. I mean...they jettisoned weak kids off to weak planets to conquer. Even if that WAS a practice brought in after the Colds took over, I still think Saiyans have a culture that resembles ancient Sparta; they were a warrior race, and they would want their children to reflect that.

ANYWAY. Point is that how Nappa would feel about his death by Vegeta’s hand would be complicated by his loyalty and Saiyan ideals instilled in him growing up. To an extent, and it might take a little while through his initial anger, Nappa would come to logically agree that Vegeta only did what he was taught. To an extreme level, but Nappa had lost to Goku and was rendered unable to fight in that moment. He was bested in combat by a third-class Saiyan. Thus, not only did this reveal his weakness, it also disgraced him. Death, even by Vegeta’s hand, would almost be like a mercy to him and justified by how the Saiyans place strength above pretty much all else.]

[clarabosswald]

tlj spoilers

thelukeskywalkers

POC were treated badly (Finn was sidelined and treated like a joke; Poe was turned into the hotheaded latinx stereotype when it didn’t align with his previous characterization; both were hurt multiple times for no reason)

Rey and Luke were ooc and had their plots revolve around kylo

i didn’t feel that finn was either sidelined (given his own plotline just like rey and poe?) or treated like a joke (as in, cracking jokes and being a bit panicky at times? i felt like that was consistent with his tfa characterization; he actually had more opportunities to be a serious character and make impact on stuff - willing to ditch everything to save rey; coming up with the hijack plan with rose and poe; facing phasma; willing to sacrifice himself to destroy the cannon - all of that is very non-jokey and in my eyes majorly outweighs the comical aspects of his character) - but please elaborate (if you like) bc i may very well be missing something here poe - the thing about poe is that i had almost 0 connection to him in tfa. i felt like he had almost no personality whatsoever. so i was really hyped to see him get his very own plotline and get to see his motives explored - so in this case i’d rather have him fall under the hotheaded latinx stereotype instead of be an empty character with no apparent drives or thoughts or anything, which i think would’ve been more harmful (but obviously that’s me talking from a white pov) as for them getting hurt - specifically, with tons of people getting hurt and/or dying in this movie, i felt like they were both relatively protected by Main Character Plot Armor pretty well - if any poc character got unnecessarily badly hurt, imo that’d be rose more more than finn or poe i mean i feel like there’s a major different between unnecessarily killing off poc characters and between poc characters getting hurt because of their choices and their plotlines - can you honestly wrap all poc characters with a protective bubble to keep them safe, and at the same time give them an interesting and meaningful story with their own independent choices and motives? without turning them into token poc characters or plastic stand-ins? as long as they don’t get ejected from the plot for no reason, and as long as their choices put them in dangerous situations, then i think that getting hurt (without going too overboard and angsty with it) is a realistic consequence to have, and a sign if good writing (again that’s my white privileged pov speaking so corrections are welcome) rey and luke - i didn’t really feel ooc-ness in rey’s stuff personally; as for luke, it’s literally been decades in his life since we last saw him (i mean in the original trilogy, not tfa where he just stood there and stared for a few seconds) - the man’s been through tons of traumatic shit and man, he also just. aged? so of course he’d seem ooc if you expect him to be exactly the same as that young guy in rotj. but i feel like i’d have been super disappointed if he were? i didn’t expect him to be exactly the same; if he were, he would never have isolated himself on that damn island in the first place; so personally i really loved the conflict and bitterness and grumpy-old-guy-ness because it fit him - it fit a man who’s lost everything and went through so much trauma trying to do the right thing, it fit a man who’d choose to run away from the universe. and i loved the arc of him finding purpose and hope again, finding his way again - in a way, returning to be “in character”. so that’s my 2 cents on that them revolving around kylo - well, it started with rey wanting to convince luke to come back, and wanting him to teach her/help her find her path, which was on its own completely unrelated to ren; then it naturally connected to ren, since ren was luke’s student, and that failed as we learned in tfa - so it HAD to go there. as for rey’s ~special mind connection~ with ren, yeah, that felt super awkward and i didn’t like it much at all. the mock/almost redemption arc he got was... also uncomfortable, but i felt like it was necessary - it’s such a popular concept in the fandom - any fandom really - it had to be addressed in one way or another - and i was so relieved that it ultimately didn’t work, because it should’ve have, and for it to work would’ve been super ooc and fanwanky imo; but yeah, rey and luke being so focused on kylo was a plot necessity because it always led there - for them to have a healthy teacher/student relationship while completely ignoring luke’s past with ren would’ve been super unrealistic and frankly worse writing than the (admittedly exaggerated) focus we got on it in the end bc the fact is, while i dislike ren, he’s a major character - he’s the main villain, always has been, much more than snoke (which is why him killing snoke made so much sense, at least to me) - and he’s got those strong ties to luke and leia, and rey after all their battling in tfa - so, logically, there had to be some degree of major focus on him during this movie - ultimately i’m just so glad it didn't all go the redemption arc way in the end - especially since we seemed so damn close to it after snoke’s death

so basically the poc treatment issues - i see where you’re coming from, but i think that was actually good character writing rather than neglection of poc characters - but i recognize that i speak from a white privilege pov so my opinion doesn’t really matter much in this subject rey and luke ooc-ness i also disagree with (though i just vomited by own opinions since you didn’t elaborate much, so maybe i didn’t even address anything you were meaning/referring to in saying “ooc”) kylo ren centercism - agree with to some degree - the ~special mind connection~ was imo mostly unnecessary and embarrassing, even if it gave us some interesting insight into character motives etc - but some focus was essential since he’s the main villain and was left with dangling plot threads from tfa (conflict of light vs dark in him, what went on between him and luke, his relationship with snoke, etc)

and yeah