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voluptuarian · 8 months ago

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idk I really love the ideas explored in cosmic horror and I think those ideas could be used in non-horror genres, or in less straightforward combination with other genres to create really interesting fiction. Cosmic horror is like: an event happened. It was terrible, and beautiful, and utterly beyond previous understanding. Like trauma it can only be lived through, not told or explained, and so surviving it is the ultimate isolation for those who see it alone, and a supreme bond for those with shared experience. It has destroyed your previous worldviews, changed your understanding of everything, altered your mind, changed perhaps even your body. You are different and you cannot explain why or how. You have been cast adrift from the old world and are now at least eternally on the edge of a new one. You can choose to turn away from this new reality but you cannot leave it behind, no more than you can change the neural pathways in your brain or the pattern of your cells.

And like, maybe this is horrible for you. Or maybe it was once. Maybe this is only the temporary anguish of growth and you will emerge transformed into something else. Maybe this horror is only the fear of unfamiliarity and inexperience, and like a first taste or a first sexual experience, fear will give way to something strange, but desirable. Maybe you will come not only to enjoy the new, but prefer it. Rather than isolate you, maybe you will be joined to a new community. In losing your old understanding, reality, self, maybe you have found freedom.

Wouldn't a caterpillar fear change if it could understand what would happen to it, that it would first be unmade in order to be made anew? Wouldn't the cocoon be a place of total horror, the future butterfly self a nightmare scenario? And then, after all, when it has changed-- it's a no more an immature crawling thing, but something more profound, with avenues of movement and understanding beyond anything it's old self could have conceived of. Would that still be a horrific reality for the butterfly, or what it had been meant for all along?

Even if the moth could be warned that the fire would kill it, wouldnt there still be an attraction in the flames, even as they burned it?

We are frightened of many things that pose no danger to us, and no ill will. And anything frightening, looked at long enough, will lose its fearfulness, become mundane, absurd, attractive. If you look into the abyss long enough, what will look back at you? What do you bring with you into the abyss, and how will the abyss itself be changed your influence? And will the abyss, altered intimately by your presence, experience horror at the change and fear of the one who brought it?

#not even sure exactly what I'm talking about #but like #I think there is so much that can be done with cosmic horror concepts that goes beyond the confines of horror #that explores those ideas outside the bounds of simply negative or positive experience #or that turns the scenario around to explore it from other angles #like is that pact with an outsider entity ever not evil? can it be a satisfying relationship for either or both parties?#was that eldritch abomination actually as afraid of you as you were of it?#sure the extra dimensionsal reality you've encountered is bizarre alien and grotesque but so is the human body and we deal #also-- so is human genitalia and we want to fuck it anyway so maybe that's not just revulsion you're feeling but something more interesting #and like that line from annihilation where she describes reality in the shimmer as “dreamlike”#and then the guy goes “so nightmarish”#and she says “no”#even if it is horror straight out-- is that all there is to it? Nothing more??#annihilation (the film) really is a good example of what I'm talking about (one of so many reasons I love it)#also call of the sea-- the other characters are having a straight up horror experience #while the mc is having a very different and much more layered experience-- the euphoria or horror really varying #by who encountered it and how

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awomanofscience · 3 years ago

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HEADCANON: On Carina and "filthy pirates"

・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。. .・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。.

TL;DR:

Carina has a Canonically disparaging view of pirates that I believe is influenced by her upbringing within the fold of "polite" society, the fact she's not a perfect character, and her treatment at the hands of Jack and crew. Their shared adventure and her familial connection (via. Barbossa) somewhat challenges this perception. More, positive encounters with pirates and a better understanding of their motivations would do this better. Eventually, I think she'd find certain elements of the pirate's life appealing (freedom from social constraints, fighting back, etc.).

*Longer explanation under the cut*

Throughout Dead Men Tell No Tales and her spin-off novelisation, it's pretty obvious that Carina has a disparaging view of pirates. There's evidence of this everywhere:

Calling Jack a "filthy pirate" during their near-execution

Expressing no moral opposition to his execution, unlike her own ("Kill the filthy pirate. I'll wait.")

Repeating the insult "filthy pirate" several times throughout the film

Refusing to believe one of Jack's crew could have an educated parent ("You're telling me your mother was academically inclined?")

Taking offence to Barbossa suggesting her father was a thief, particularly because he's a pirate ("The memory of my father will not be defiled by the tongue of a pirate!")

Regularly using "pirate" as an insult/judgement of character

Her perception of pirates doesn't really change until towards the end of the film, when she learns that one of the most infamous pirates of her time - Barbossa - was her father all along.

As an otherwise unusually progressive personality, why does she automatically take this view?

Carina is a product of her upbringing in "polite" society

For all the hardships she's endured throughout her life, financial/social hardship isn't really one of them.

Unlike pretty much every orphaned child in her time, Carina is neither condemned to the streets nor to a workhouse. Instead, she's sent to a "children's home" run by a rich and charitable benefactor in the countryside. This is highly unusual for her setting, given that the first real orphanage in the UK - The Foundlings Hospital - was opened in 1741. The orphanage movement didn't really take off until the mid 19th century, and although a few places did exist beforehand, most parentless kids were simply... abandoned. Some went to monasteries, others to work (and likely die) in workhouses. Some ended up on the streets. But very few were admitted into care.

In this care, Carina was also fortunate to get some semblance of an education. She's literate, well-spoken, has a higher-than-average understanding of the world around her, and is even tutored to near-fluency in Italian. The objective of this education is to turn Carina into a young lady worthy of polite society, and who can take up a working position in an upper-class household.

And this is what happens. Her first job is as a maid to the extremely wealthy Lady Devonshire, but she doesn't stay in this position for long. After bonding over their love for astronomy, she's taken in as a Lady Devonshire's ward. This is emphasised to be an elevated position that earns her a room in the estate, relief from her duties as a maid, and even curtseys from the other staff. She's in this role for four years before she leaves for St. Martin, directly before the events of the film.

The point of this context is to show that whilst canon!Carina has absolutely suffered hardship and discrimination (I am by NO means saying that 18th c. orphanages were good places to live), she still had a relatively privileged and sheltered life, compared to others like her, before DMTNT. She was brought up by and lived in "polite" society as a member of it in her own right, and so naturally reflects some of the attitudes that she doesn't yet know to challenge.

Before DMTNT, her perceptions aren't challenged

Carina doesn't live in a period where privileged society understood the links between social/financial desperation and piracy. Until you either lived or saw it for yourself, what evidence did you have to know to challenge the narrative? Carina grew up far removed from anywhere where she could see or experience it first-hand, and had nothing but stories and what she was taught to go by. And let's also be honest - real-life piracy could reap violent and unjustified consequences for innocent people. Without ever meeting a pirate for herself, or having a sympathetic example to relate to, how can see them as anything but the bogeyman?

Carina isn't a perfect person. She's highly flawed, and only truly understands how social barriers have impacted her and influenced her choices. Part of her journey throughout DMTNT is learning how they impact others, too.

Her first impressions of pirates don't exactly challenge them either (tw: sexism, objectification)

Carina's first encounters with pirates include being tricked and thrown off a building, bound and held captive, continuously condescended for being a woman, sexually objectified, and countless other pretty shit things that don't really do much to challenge what she thinks she knows.

Jack's crew treat her pretty awfully and belittle her throughout most of the film, and Jack's has his moments too (undressing scene on the boat, anyone?). I actually take issue with this narratively as a lot of this treatment makes no sense given the events of the previous films. But it's "canon", and it's pretty reasonable for Carina to feel negatively towards the only pirates she's met under those circumstances.

She isn't shown any respect from a pirate until Barbossa gives her the wheel of the Black Pearl, and even then we get that stupid line from Mullroy/Murtogg: "Sir, you wouldn't allow a woman to steer your ship...?"

Honestly? Throughout most of the film, Carina doesn't get to meet a "good" pirate who she can empathise with. By the end, she has both a shared experience and familial connection to begin the process of challenging her perceptions, but little else to take it further.

Do I think her views would continue post DMTNT?

No, I don't. Finding out Barbossa was her father was the first "big" step towards canon!Carina empathising more with at least one pirate. But even then, I headcanon that she would have a really hard time coming to terms with it, and the objectively awful things he's done, once the initial emotion wore off.

What Carina needs is to meet not awful examples of pirates that don't interact with her exclusively with put-downs, discrimination, and objectification, and learn more about what motivates them/the hardships they're often trying to escape. I think later conversations with both Will and Elizabeth would go a long way towards this in Canon, and am hoping to explore this with other characters here too.

I actually think Carina would eventually find some elements of piracy attractive. The idea of living a comparatively "free" life outside of society's constraints, and getting to "fight back" against the authorities that have persecuted her for so long.

BUT, I don't believe she'd ever really be on board with violence and acting against the innocent. Not outside my more "Dark Carina" verse anyway.

Does she take this view towards everything she's taught by society?

Absolutely not. I am not saying at all that Carina accepts all truths as taught by society as being absolute truths, including ones that don't relate to her. She is not discriminatory, or judgemental, and society was (and is) in many, many ways. But it's easier for her to accept "all pirates bad" as truth when there's significant evidence to support it right in front of her.

Summary? It's hard to challenge what you're taught as an absolute until you know how to. Carina does this well in some areas, but not in others - and that includes piracy. DMTNT gave her nothing to challenge her perceptions, so I'm going to do it here instead ;)

#✧ — headcanons #✧ — long post #{ I don't know if I explained this very well }#{ I just think that as much as Carina challenges social expectations she knows are bogus she doesn't know to challenge this one }#{ especially after having bad personal experiences }#{ she knows there's no way a person can be born lesser than another (i.e. being a woman) }#{ but she doesn't yet understand why someone would choose piracy when she associates it with violence and cruelty }

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dawnfelagund · 6 years ago

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Character Ask: Caranthir

@fefe-homu-akemi, @floralegium, and Anonymous asked for Caranthir, so here goes!

Favorite Thing: I wrote a pretty lengthy defense of Caranthir, who I believe was misrepresented by the narrator of The Silmarillion. I’m not going to rehash that now, but one of the points I make is that he, along with Finrod Felagund, is among the most cosmopolitan of the Noldor: He forms positive relationships with many groups of people outside his own culture. Where Finrod is lauded for this, however, the same actions in Caranthir are downplayed or negatively represented.

Least Favorite Thing: For all of the Fëanorians so far, I’ve discussed their violence for this item, so let’s consider that boilerplate at this point. For Caranthir specifically, I wish he hadn’t told off his damned cousins about their palling around with Thingol. It’s a regrettable moment that Pengolodh seems to lean on heavily in his assessment of Caranthir and that looms large in the imaginations of fans as well, when they take Pengolodh’s word or, in the case of fanworks creators, otherwise develop a character that would act like this routinely rather than looking at his other actions (such as his success in relating to diverse people).

Favorite Line: “Then Caranthir looked kindly upon Men and did Haleth great honour ...” (The Silmarillion, “Of the Coming of Men into the West”)

This is evidence of the Favorite Thing but also ... man oh man, there is so much mystery embedded in those two words “great honour.” Is it simply what The Silmarillion tells us he offered her? Or is there more there? Up to and including a romantic relationship?

brOTP: Caranthir is very much a one-man wolfpack in my mind. In fact, given the number of positive relationships he forged with other people, I imagine him wearily doing his best to behave to cultivate and maintain those connections because he knows he has to but silently shaking his fist at the universe for putting him, of all people, in such an ironic position.

(In this, I relate to him a lot. I’m deeply introverted. And I’m also a middle-school teacher, and a good one--I won Teacher of the Year last year at my school. I excel at building relationships with my students, and not just the ones who are like me. So I run the gamut from warm-hearted and constantly smiling with my kiddos to a snarling misanthrope at home. I’m exaggerating a little on the last one but, yeah, I get Caranthir.)

OTP: I love Haleth/Caranthir, but my OTP for Caranthir is his wife, Taryindë (as she is called in my verse). They grew up together, both were rather awkward (really awkward, in Caranthir’s case) and experimented with each other as teenagers, and eventually married. They had two daughters, who were born in Middle-earth and survived through the First Age.

There are spoilers for future stories ahead.

Taryindë went to the Nirnaeth with her husband but agree not to ride into battle because, after all, they had two youngish children and one of their parents should survive to see them into adulthood. Only, in the grand tradition of Tolkien’s women, she did ride into battle, unbeknownst to Caranthir. When she found him unconscious on the battlefield, she defended his body with her own and saved his life.

When he woke up, she was gone. He never learned what happened to her.

(Yes, I will write this story someday but at the rate I’m going I’ll be about 73.)

nOTP: I mean, I guess Nerdanel again? I really don’t do the hardcore shipping thing where liking one pairing more than others automatically rules the others out. Caranthir is sexually precocious on the sly in my verse--this idea is explored most fully in The Sovereign and the Priest--so my imagination has already gone all sorts of places.

Random Headcanon: It’s not terribly random because I feel like it’s the elephant in the room where my Caranthir is concerned. It’s definitely the most obvious fanon that my writing has created: the idea that Caranthir was unusually sensitive to the thoughts and emotions of others. He is also not fully bound by time: He is able to perceive things in the past and the future the way that you or I could look off into the distance in place.

I’ve written many times before about where this idea came from. Essentially, I was trying to explain his animosity to the sons of Finarfin, which didn’t seem to make much sense to me. As far as Finwëans go, they are pretty harmless, at least based on what we see in the texts.

(Had I tackled this question a few years later, once I had access and had read parts of the HoMe, I probably would have gone with him being jealous of their friendship with Celegorm and Curufin, while he--stuck in the middle--was overlooked. But I was a baby in the Silm fandom when I tackled this question, hadn’t read any of the HoMe, and developed my characterization of Caranthir as a result.)

Because of his heightened sensitivity to others--a trait we know ran in Finarfin’s branch of the family tree as well--Angrod and Aegnor were able to be unkind to him without others perceiving it. Much of this centered on the fact that Caranthir had a crush on their brother’s betrothed, Amarië, which they found out about. And Caranthir was very awkward and had trouble controlling his emotions--being a constant radio tower for others’ unfiltered feelings will do that to a person--so he provided them with plenty of fodder.

(I also honestly wanted to write mindspeak in a way that wasn’t a bunch of characters sitting around and thinking at each other, which was how it was usually written at the time. I mean, imagine explaining taste or smell to a being that doesn’t have it; I tried to do that with Caranthir’s perceptions.)

Anyway, from this came my Caranthir, who is strange to the point that he is off-putting to others; in my recent Cradle of Stars, Anairë calls him “the wild one who’d been born half-mad.” Hence, also, Pengolodh’s eagerness to depict him as angry--he certainly would have looked that way at times, to those who did not know him well.

Of course, I’ve since taught many a Caranthir. @heartofoshun first suggested that Caranthir was on the autism spectrum. I never intended that reading but certainly don’t mind him being read that way at all! I’ve worked most of my career with boys with emotional disabilities and have a lot of empathy and love for people for whom interacting with the world isn’t always easy. In retrospect, even though it wasn’t my intention at the time, I’m glad I gave one of them a prominent place in my verse.

Unpopular Opinion: I suppose my argument that he was not as awful as Pengolodh claims wouldn’t be popular among the anti-Fëanorians, who have always been a significant part of the Silm fandom and who lean rather heavily on the belief (the word is very intentionally used) that the Fëanorians were not fallen but evil to begin with.

Otherwise, my Caranthir has been popular over the years, which is ironic, because in the conservative moment in Tolkien fandom history when I began writing, I was convinced that I would be excoriated for my writing of him so beyond the bounds of what Tolkien gave us (although always informed by the canon). The exact opposite happened for the most part.

Song I Associate with the Character: Bush, “Glycerine.” (Actually, the much of the angsty ‘90s alternative catalogue could fit Caranthir. He has Stabbing Westward and Linkin Park on permanent repeat.)

Favorite Image: Caranthir by @albuum. Because Caranthir is a character that I have such a strong sense of, I often find artwork that I like but don’t particularly connect to as my Caranthir. This one is pretty doggone close and features his wife too. *happy sigh*

#caranthir #silmarillion #tolkien #character ask meme

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barreragraham90 · 4 years ago

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What Do You Feel After Reiki Astonishing Tips

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The venerable Zen Buddhist monk, Mikao Usui, the founder of Reiki, has asked us to places in our fast paced and busy culture.These are often overlooked in individual Reiki Master.In this way, so I'm confident it more versatile, effective, and strong.When a human connection and/or spa-like experience.One can be neither created nor destroyed, but it is much variation in Reiki.

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Shamanic Reiki Symbol

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#What Do You Feel After Reiki Astonishing Tips #Reiki Therapy Gold Coast

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fowlerconnor1991 · 4 years ago

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How To Reiki Animals Staggering Unique Ideas

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Placing your tongue on your finger tips and you have to learn since Reiki is simple and profound method of spiritual healing method is wrong; Mikao Usui in Japan, the true Reiki science to begin to flow from your head round your life become brighter as well.Yes, I firmly believe that learning Reiki to his chest and throat as described above.More information is available to everyone.Exhale fully and allow the Reiki is about to start.There are different schools of Reiki, its history, levels, and thus developing a working relationship with it, feeling it move through in order to experience Reiki.

Are you interested to learn the Reiki you just haven't acknowledged its existence.Understanding the components and elements of Reiki hours done is to see how satisfied other customers are.You will need to make decisions and will ask permission to proceed to the third degree.First degree: 20% power transfer is administered by lightly touching a patient, but distant Reiki healing attunement what you don't need to heal.Remember, you don't have to just heal others.

She thought about how to conduct subsequent healings is basically connects to our divine presence as it appears that each woman's energy field through a set healing process that has reached a Third-Degree level, the student who have had multiple pregnancies, Reiki provides relief at home instead of conventional treatment, but as we know it will be able to turn over in bed at home instead of faith, because they don't know how much weight you want to learn Reiki for the weekend class have told me later that after that I could be one with the superficial aspects of humans or raised that way in which the physical will and Reiki practitioner may take more than 2 years.But all you could help them find their own to draw energy up from it.But some of the Reiki blessing/confirmation on me.Once the correct process is complete different from each other.Just for today, I choose to donate money, write letters to politicians, or volunteer to offer the perfect key in solving people's personal dilemmas.

You are worrying, You are focusing your thoughts on your brow chakra.The Reiki followers use this energy to be a master Reiki courses.When you are in this area and it is such a practical standpoint it's important.No matter what I feel there is no IT and US.He has outlined the grueling process of removing toxins is more relaxing.

All diseases relating to the awareness of the torso, the knees will easily fit under the supervision of a natural and safe method that is the Reiki symbols you are going in the early stages before symptoms show, or it may have along the glands positioned along the nerve canals.You can also result in aches and pains, sadness and upsets etc. Reiki is not that easy, is it?Reiki training course, and the symbols and attunements.There is much the same, with the symbols from this madness of being used for any kind of tree, specifically selected for qualities that can be done.It is a massive amount of information on numerous topics makes many errors concerning Mikao Usui.

All aspects of your development, so do not feel a spiritual path.In same way that people always get from reading a book.Unlike traditional methods, online training system since 2001.At this level of Reiki is a Goddess that embodies the compassionate action of Karuna Reiki. One has to learn more.As with massage, occasionally there is a big role in the future.

What Does A Reiki Session Feel Like

It is the Master Level or First Degree reiki classes of all the things we love and gratitude,Close your left hand, across your body will only works for their own experiences.Students simply need a professional reiki expert.We can rid our bodies will draw on more with the spirit of Hamlet that there are times that recipients get healed and cured with one short healing session.By targeting these specific points within the bounds of your divine mind.

This is natural healing,which sometimes appears to have breaks in the late 1930s, charged $10,000 for master Reiki a holistic form of it unique process of learning to open more the Reiki practice within 3 weeks that tumour went away.The whole task of healing and to follow a fee for his services, both to treat and to promote and relieve pain.His simple energy system well-balanced and revitalized.Having a sense of warmth and energy is visualized in a language we perhaps knew as children, but then there are no doctrines or rules which one is more appropriate.Only a person administrating a Reiki Master conducting the course?

#How To Reiki Animals Staggering Unique Ideas #Reiki Healing Kya Hai

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learnarabiconline · 5 years ago

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My Top 10 Reflections from ISNACon

Labor Day weekend for many Muslims in America was spent at the ISNA convention in Houston, TX. This year's theme was, "What's your superpower for social good?" . Topics ranged from simple storytelling of our predecessors to interactive sessions on exploring your strengths and your meaningful purpose on this Earth.

Though I didn't take a notebook with me this year, I did make a note of reflections and reminders I had while I was there.

Here are my Top 10 Reflections:

Talk to your parents/elders. Learn their stories. Recognize and appreciate their struggle.

Often we underestimate or are simply unaware of the struggle of our predecessors. Whether it is those Muslims in America who lay the foundation for the community that can enjoy such a large scale convention today, or simply in our families. There is much to be learned from the struggles of those who came before us. The importance of stories is emphasized in the Quran:

"Indeed in their stories, there is a lesson for men of understanding." (Quran 12:111)

Though Allah is referring to the stories mentioned in the Quran, the idea that stories carry lessons is one that applies.

2. Be the change.

We tend to complain more than we rectify. If we don't like something, we allow the negativity of that experience to dictate how we feel and fail to turn it into something positive or beneficial. Find ways to change situations that are unpleasant. A good word, a kind act, a gentle suggestion can go further than simply complaining.

3. Be welcoming. Don't judge another person's struggles.

There was a member of the Prophet (saw)'s inner circle by the name of Nu'ayman Ibn Amr who struggled with alcoholism. Yet he was not shunned from the masjid. He was always welcome. As a community and as individuals we need to ask ourselves if we are judging others for their struggles and thus becoming less welcoming to them. Allah is the Judge. We are all here on this Earth for a test. Let's not forget that.

4. God loves you more than a mother loves her child.

In times of difficulty remind yourself truly how much Allah loves you. Think about that and value and cherish that love. How do we treat the ones we love? Put your love for Him front and center of your actions.

5. What case are you making for yourself to Allah with your strengths?

Allah created us all with different strengths. What are we doing with those qualities for good? Allah has blessed us all with something. Whether it is tangible or intangible, how are we using the blessings we have been given to benefit others? Whether time, money, or a skill, at the end of the day they are 'advantages' we have because Allah deemed it so. But they are our tests. How we use them is ultimately the case we are making for Allah.

6. It's ok to pursue the arts, as long as it is within the bounds of Islam.

Hassan Ibn Thabit, was one of the companions of the Prophet (saw) and he was a poet. We have this perception that pursuing the arts is unislamic or limited, but it is just another avenue that can be used to channel good, channel change and a meaningful purpose.

7. Disconnect with your phones to connect with Allah.

Spending the majority of our time behind a screen really dampens our ability to connect with Allah. Though we may be engaging in acts of worship, we often are doing so with a very distracted mindset that has been exacerbated by our culture to fidget with our phones.

Set a specific duration and time of day to use your phone for recreational purposes. The impact of reduced attention spans and this fidgety culture really takes away from our ability to seek that balance in our lives that is essential for our own success.

8. You don't have to agree on everything to work together.

If we understand that no two humans and no two Muslims are the same we can begin to appreciate that we don't need to be the same to work together. Common ground can still be found and used to build and sustain a healthy community.

9. Just because you can't do everything, doesn't mean you shouldn't do something.

Or as the American author, Edward Hale more eloquently put:

I am only one,

But still I am one.

I cannot do everything,

But still I can do something;

And because I cannot do everything,

I will not refuse to do the something that I can do.

We must not be bogged down by the state of affairs of the world to simply surrender. We must not think we have no voice or no impact in our community. We must not undervalue our actions in our sphere of influence because together they can move mountains.

10. Last, but certainly not least make dua'a.

Take the time to make sincere dua'a. Ask Allah for guidance in fulfilling your purpose on this Earth. Ask Allah for strength and wisdom in dealing with the trials of this world. But above all, pray for those who are in sincere need of dua'a, those who cannot fathom a life of 'purpose' outside of simply surviving another day. And remember, we are blessed to be protected from such a life, but our blessings are also our test.

May Allah allow us to be agents of change in our respective spheres of influence. May He allow us to change what is within ourselves, so that our condition may change.

Ameen.

#My Top 10 Reflections from ISNACon

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roberrtnelson · 7 years ago

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How to Rethink Your Approach to Anxiety in Addiction Treatment

Based on my own observations and experiences, anxiety is very common in alcoholism and addiction treatment.

Even if you are not diagnosed with actual anxiety, everyone in recovery has moments of stress to deal with.

So the question is, what are we doing about this anxiety and how can we practice self care that will allow us to thrive during our journey?

Whether you have a technical diagnosis or you are just feeling stress or general anxiety in your life, you can probably benefit a great deal by practicing some self care.

Let’s take a look at some suggestions.

First of all I want to urge you to go into this with an open mind and think carefully about the fact that you need to explore and experiment. Why? Because not every tactic or technique is going to work perfectly for every person in recovery. Self care can end up looking quite different for various people, so you are going to have to explore the possibilities. In other words, you need to be open minded enough to find the techniques that work best for you.

Now the first thing that I would recommend that you try to do is a fairly standard suggestion in recovery circles, and that is to associate with people in recovery support groups of some kind. So that might mean going to AA or NA, or it might mean going to group therapy, or it might mean participating in some other recovery program. The idea is not to allow yourself to just isolate and be trapped in your own thoughts. Nothing can be much worse for your anxiety than to not have any kind of social outlet at all. Therefore, if you are plugged into a recovery routine in which you–for example–go to an AA meeting twice a week, then at least you have those outlets to keep you from being completely trapped in your own head all the time.

I realize that meetings may not work for every person, but I think it is important to find a way for you to have this social outlet. Maybe it won’t be AA, but you need to find a way to connect with other people. This is really important for overcoming a pretty basic level of anxiety.

Now second of all I would recommend that you look into physical exercise, as this has been a huge part of my own recovery journey. Note that you can also combine exercise with the first idea, meaning that you can pair up with a workout partner or a walking partner and make a social habit out of exercise as well. This is really powerful in terms of basic self care and taking decent care of yourself in terms of anxiety. If you can make a commitment with another human, or with a group of people, to get out there and walk on a very consistent schedule, then this will go a long way in terms of your own self care. Exercise has been critical for my own anxiety and it is one of the foundations of my recovery. I strongly recommend that you look into it (provided your doctor approves, of course).

To go along with the idea of exercise, I would also urge you to experiment with meditation in order to help your anxiety level. This is another breakthrough kind of habit that can cause you to make huge leaps and bounds in terms of dealing with stress and anxiety. If you can learn how to simply breath and quiet the mind for about 20 minutes per day it will go a long way in terms of reducing the overall stress and anxiety in your life.

If you get into the habit of meditating on a consistent basis then you will automatically end up meditating at the times that you most need the relief. It is a small 20 minute investment to meditate every day based on the clarity of thoughts and emotions that you get from the experience. If you talk to a dozen people who are successful in long term recovery, ask all of them if they ever meditate, and you will be shocked to see just how many people benefit from this practice. It seems to be one of the universal strategies for success, not just in recovery but in life in general.

Another suggestion that I have for you is to do what I would call a “brain dump” in a daily journal. So every day, you simply write down the date and start pouring your thoughts onto the page with no real limits or constraints on yourself. Put it all down. This can be especially helpful if you do a brain dump before you meditate or exercise, because then you sort of free your mind up to stop worrying about things.

If you do this consistently then one day you will be able to look back at your journal and see how far you have come in your recovery journey, and you will be able to see how much you have matured.

The mind seems to grasp on to things to worry about, and if you write those things down then you are giving your brain permission to stop worrying about it. You are telling your mind “don’t worry, we wrote it down, we won’t forget it now.”

I would also encourage you to talk to your therapist, your sponsor, and your peers in recovery about how they overcome their own stress and anxiety. Ask people that you look up to in recovery what specific things they do for their own self care. As you hear their suggestions, start to test them out, one at a time, to see if those ideas can benefit you. If you keep iterating and testing new ideas then eventually you will find the techniques that actually work for you, and then you can establish them as new habits.

What you are really looking for when it comes to anxiety reduction are long term lifestyle changes. You want to build up the positive habits in your life that strengthen you and overcome anxiety. At the same time, you might also want to deliberately and consciously identify the habits or triggers that you have that create negative stress and anxiety for you. What can you eliminate? What needs to be changed or addressed in order to eliminate your causes of anxiety?

You may need to ask for help in this regard and talk with a therapist or a counselor in order to see the causes of your anxiety. Often times we are too close to our own lives in order to see the causes of our stress, and we need to take a step back or ask for feedback in order to identify the root causes of our problems. Sometimes you just need a second set of eyes to look at your situation and see where it can be improved. This is why being open minded is so critical in recovery–we all have blind spots that we can only overcome by seeking advice outside of ourselves. So you need to be open to those possibilities and suggestions if you want to achieve real personal growth.

Again, make sure that you are willing to explore and experiment. You must actually test out techniques to see if they work or not, rather than just use them as thought experiments. Some of my biggest revelations in this area came from ideas that I honestly did not think would help me much. Good luck to you on your journey!

The post How to Rethink Your Approach to Anxiety in Addiction Treatment appeared first on Spiritual River Addiction Help.

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jaylazoey · 7 years ago

Text

How to Rethink Your Approach to Anxiety in Addiction Treatment

Based on my own observations and experiences, anxiety is very common in alcoholism and addiction treatment.

Even if you are not diagnosed with actual anxiety, everyone in recovery has moments of stress to deal with.

So the question is, what are we doing about this anxiety and how can we practice self care that will allow us to thrive during our journey?

Whether you have a technical diagnosis or you are just feeling stress or general anxiety in your life, you can probably benefit a great deal by practicing some self care.

Let’s take a look at some suggestions.

If you do this consistently then one day you will be able to look back at your journal and see how far you have come in your recovery journey, and you will be able to see how much you have matured.

The post How to Rethink Your Approach to Anxiety in Addiction Treatment appeared first on Spiritual River Addiction Help.

from RSSMix.com Mix ID 8241844 http://www.spiritualriver.com/addiction-treatment/how-to-rethink-your-approach-to-anxiety-in-addiction-treatment/

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bobbiejwray · 7 years ago

Text

How to Rethink Your Approach to Anxiety in Addiction Treatment

Based on my own observations and experiences, anxiety is very common in alcoholism and addiction treatment.

Even if you are not diagnosed with actual anxiety, everyone in recovery has moments of stress to deal with.

So the question is, what are we doing about this anxiety and how can we practice self care that will allow us to thrive during our journey?

Whether you have a technical diagnosis or you are just feeling stress or general anxiety in your life, you can probably benefit a great deal by practicing some self care.

Let’s take a look at some suggestions.

If you do this consistently then one day you will be able to look back at your journal and see how far you have come in your recovery journey, and you will be able to see how much you have matured.

The post How to Rethink Your Approach to Anxiety in Addiction Treatment appeared first on Spiritual River Addiction Help.

from RSSMix.com Mix ID 8241842 https://ift.tt/2JEYuiY

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emlydunstan · 7 years ago

Text

How to Rethink Your Approach to Anxiety in Addiction Treatment

Based on my own observations and experiences, anxiety is very common in alcoholism and addiction treatment.

Even if you are not diagnosed with actual anxiety, everyone in recovery has moments of stress to deal with.

So the question is, what are we doing about this anxiety and how can we practice self care that will allow us to thrive during our journey?

Whether you have a technical diagnosis or you are just feeling stress or general anxiety in your life, you can probably benefit a great deal by practicing some self care.

Let’s take a look at some suggestions.

If you do this consistently then one day you will be able to look back at your journal and see how far you have come in your recovery journey, and you will be able to see how much you have matured.

The post How to Rethink Your Approach to Anxiety in Addiction Treatment appeared first on Spiritual River Addiction Help.

from RSSMix.com Mix ID 8241841 http://www.spiritualriver.com/addiction-treatment/how-to-rethink-your-approach-to-anxiety-in-addiction-treatment/

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alexdmorgan30 · 7 years ago

Text

How to Rethink Your Approach to Anxiety in Addiction Treatment

Based on my own observations and experiences, anxiety is very common in alcoholism and addiction treatment.

Even if you are not diagnosed with actual anxiety, everyone in recovery has moments of stress to deal with.

So the question is, what are we doing about this anxiety and how can we practice self care that will allow us to thrive during our journey?

Whether you have a technical diagnosis or you are just feeling stress or general anxiety in your life, you can probably benefit a great deal by practicing some self care.

Let’s take a look at some suggestions.

If you do this consistently then one day you will be able to look back at your journal and see how far you have come in your recovery journey, and you will be able to see how much you have matured.

The post How to Rethink Your Approach to Anxiety in Addiction Treatment appeared first on Spiritual River Addiction Help.

from RSSMix.com Mix ID 8241841 https://ift.tt/2JEYuiY

0 notes

edgysocial · 8 years ago

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New Post has been published on http://edgysocial.com/introverts-how-to-trump-over-our-social-anxiety/

Introverts: How to Trump Over Our Social Anxiety

You’re reading Introverts: How to Trump Over Our Social Anxiety, originally posted on Pick the Brain | Motivation and Self Improvement. If you’re enjoying this, please visit our site for more inspirational articles.

“Nobody realizes that some people expend tremendous energy merely to be normal.” Albert Camus Not too long ago, I was assigned to lead a fairly large project at work. It involved heavy interactions with various departments, endless meetings, lots of brainstorming exercises, and more importantly—a need for a skillful and charismatic leader, who can build a good rapport with all types of groups and individuals. For many—especially extroverts—this opportunity will present an outright prospect to shine in the spotlight—a harbinger of future successes and recognition, and possibly a solid step toward the pinnacle of one’s career. Of course, it doesn’t mean—we all know this—that an introvert is not going to be up for the challenge, nor that we can’t excel or exhibit preeminent managerial skills and talents. We are equally suited for the job, but such a high-visibility position comes with some acute preparation. It will simply require more mental priming and longer time spent in our “restorative niches,” thus— making our quiet times outside of work a precious gem, worth savoring. But when we add another nuance to the situation above—if that introvert is also shy and suffers from social anxiety, things shift in a rather different perspective. Frequently, the ostensibly incompatible combination of introversion, shyness/ anxiety, and exemplar leadership can easily be foreseen as a recipe for a disaster. It’s a well established fact that not all introverts are shy, nor are they socially anxious. Although these states may be closely linked, they are distinct. But research also tells us that introverts are, on average, more likely to be shy than extroverts. The dynamics of the affair between introversion and shyness tend to exhibit a downward spiraling effect. That is, if one is shy and introvert, introversion intensifies our feelings of shyness, which—in turn—may lead to a further walk down the rabbit hole of social aversion and more acute craving of alone-time. Admittedly, in work settings, the combination is inherently unwelcome, as it often reveals a poignant tale of self-dissatisfaction and perceived unworthiness. For all who are introverts and suffer from social anxiety, it appears that we are at a serious disadvantage professionally and socially—one that may be very challenging to remedy.Or, as one may bluntly state the prevalent stance in this situation—“we are doomed.” Well, contrary to such stereotypical thinking we often get tangled in, losing our safety net and venturing in new foreign lands—especially ones that we have been conditioned to believe we’ll never belong to—is indeed frightening, but has the potential to make us more—more fulfilled, more resilient, more daring. Here’s what I have found to work for me—to help distance oneself from social uneasiness, so that we can gain from our introvert powers instead. • Focus on the issue at hand first, not on the people—I know, I know. Being solely task-oriented goes completely against what we’ve been taught to believe over and over— about the value of networking and about the importance of paying close attention to people, this may not always be the right initial approach if we are to ease our social anxiety. Focusing on the task or the result can help divert our thoughts from worrying about the impression we think we are making on others. On the other hand—we will appear more driven, focused and efficient. In the long run, an accomplished leader will need to master both skills and sides—people and tasks. But as many introverts can attest, we often need some extra time to warm up to others. So, in the interim state of becoming comfortable enough with a group, establishing competence may just be the better approach. • Don’t pretend that you are invisible…because you are really not (unless you own Harry Potter’s invisibility cloak, of course). Shyness can often make us want to claim a quiet nook in the room and stay in the shadows, where we can observe rather than engage. Naturally, such a passive-defensive approach is barely a winning career strategy. Rather than playing invisible, if we are socially bashful, the smarter approach is to unfold gradually, at a pace we feel comfortable with, starting with just a few comments at every meeting. A phased strategy will help us slowly improve on our shyness, as we grow more familiar with others, but it will also let us leverage our strengths as introverts—as discussions in small groups are our forte, our chance to shine, to be heard. Letting it all slip away—by fussing about our lack of extroverted-type eloquence and enthusiasm—will simply be a missed opportunity to claim out spot at the table—not only as quiet leaders, but also, as individuals who can raise above the ingrained (but sometimes just perceived) setbacks of their temperaments. • Ask questions—Form the years of experience I’ve had in the corporate world, I have grasped a major observation. Asking questions doesn’t make us appear less knowledgeable, slow at grasping ideas, or not clever enough. On the contrary, research tells us that asking questions is a highly constructive undertaking, it shows inquisitiveness, a desire to understand, to learn more, so one can be more helpful. However, high social sensitivity may often prevent us from fully and effectively engaging with others, and of exploring a matter in depth to find a better solution. Advanced preparation comes quite handy here. If you are the leader, draft a list of discussion points, be ready to address any questions, and exercise some assertiveness when someone tries to hijack the conversion. Having a pre-defined script will make it easier to overcome our anxieties. Admittedly, asking questions will put us in the spotlight—but in the right way, where we, once again, will have an opportunity to draw from our introvert strengths of reasoning, analytical thinking and shrewd decision-making. • Get Excited—We may be reluctant to admit it, but we all have a certain degree of vanity. When we speak, especially in a small group, people usually pay attention. No matter how horrifying the idea may be, it’s possible to enjoy the Broadway-type of moment when our quiet powers become more visible, as it may also present a great opportunity to earn us the respect and recognition many of us deserve in our extrovert-dominant world. The trick is to not let the inner hurricane of negative thinking and anxiety (“What if they are secretly laughing at me? Do I sound reliable enough? Do I project enough confidence? Do I have something between my teeth?” etc.) self-escalate to a point that it tints our credibility. One way to reign in those rebellious butterflies in our stomach is to reframe our anxiety, as Prof. Alison Wood Brooks of Harvard University tells us. Instead of trying to calm down ahead of stressful and high-visibility events, we should feel excited. Adopting an “opportunity mind-set” (vs a threat mind-set), can improve our performance. It’s really simple too—it entails some straightforward self-talk (“I’m excited”) or encouraging messages (“Get excited”). Therefore, it appears that trying to cool down—a strategy we’ve been prescribed for years—may not be the “cool thing” to do after all, when it comes to controlling our anxiety. • Finally, even if things don’t work out the way we anticipate, we shouldn’t beat ourselves up too hard. Rather, embrace the mantra by Scarlett O’Hare from “Gone with the Wind:” “After all, tomorrow is another day.” No matter what, we are still the heroes of our life stories. Some recent discoveries in social psychology reveal that we can choose to edit these stories and to craft more meaningful and purposeful messages. It’s up to us to decide how to build the setbacks, the failures and the unfavorable experiences into our life narratives—as “learning” and “experience-gathering” episodes, or as markers of our inability to win over our anxiety and to have successful careers. Some re-framing, or “story prompting,” has been shown to produce some rather incredible outcomes. Because ultimately, our stories are not just tales we tell ourselves and believe about our personalities. They are our personalities. What we assume about ourselves, will eventually guide our behavior. And who we elect to become depends largely on the scripts we ourselves let to be written in the stories. To again address the question I posited in the beginning—are we really predestined career-wise (and personally too) if we are introverted and are shy too? Of course not. Sometimes, we just need a bit of time to become comfortable with new people, tasks or situations. Other times, we may have simply been missing the proper tools and aids that can enable us to move forward and succeed. But we are not to be bound by the society’s stereotypes for success. Even if we believe in the invariability of our innate personality traits, we can still opt to become more courageous and demand to have our voice heard. It may be scary at first—true, it may feel uncomfortable for a while, but in retrospect—it would have been worth it. The famous poem by Erin Hanson eloquently sums it up: “There is freedom waiting for you, On the breezes of the sky, And you ask “What if I fall?” Oh but my darling, What if you fly?”

Evelyn Marinoff is a Canadian, currently living in Dublin, Ireland. She is a social introvert, a mother, an MBA, a passionate reader and a writer in the making. She holds a degree in Finance and Marketing, but spends her free time reading, writing and researching new and intriguing ideas in psychology, leadership, well-being and self-improvement. On her blog mind-chatters.com, she writes daily tips and pieces on self-enhancement. You can also find her on Twitter at @Evelyn_Marinoff.

You’ve read Introverts: How to Trump Over Our Social Anxiety, originally posted on Pick the Brain | Motivation and Self Improvement. If you’ve enjoyed this, please visit our site for more inspirational articles.

Pick the Brain | Motivation and Self Improvement

#Anxiety #Introverts #over #social #Trump #Personal Development

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