#that everyone thinks i'm insane bc they never said that? even though like. that was clearly communicated to me. somehow.

[moe-broey]

It is so fucking dire. My dream. Of Summer Sharena. Over. Sniped. By my most hated banner of all fucking time. I have so many problems. This is going to be torture. Crafted for me, specifically. She is undeniably adorable. A duo w Veronica is undeniably adorable. This is like a Saw trap to me. I'm dying in a fucking Saw trap right now.

[perilegs]

i pass pretty much all the time but hm. ive heard interesting stuff from drunk ppl i know who dont know im trans

[magicalmanhattanproject]

man im just like. thinking about egg signs and how they've evolved over the course of the qsmp and how the qsmp has evolved over the course of the qsmp and just feeling so much love and affection for every part of the project. i dont have any grand overarching point with this just. like. here's a history of egg comms bc of the kind of person that i am

so wayyyy back ten months ago now at the start of the short and sweet egg event that was planned to last maybe a month at most, the eggs had their own custom, decorated signs!

[ID: Leo with a pink sign with an egg on the bottom corner that reads "hello" in all caps. Her nametag reads Leonardo. End ID]

They were extremely simple, single word signs. There was hello, hola, story, feed, sleep, and maybe one or two more and each was its own separate sign. The eggs could only communicate the most basic needs in words and everything else was through minecraft body language or just hoping their parents guessed right.

But obviously, there was a lot more that parents wanted to hear from their children. I'm not sure who was actually first, but the earliest departure from this system I know about is BadBoyHalo giving Dapper a simple oak sign so he could name his pet slime. (Screenshot from @/lxrd-ren)

[ID: Dapper wearing a diver's helmet standing next to a tiny slime in a boat with an oak sign reading "Bouncy (slmecicle but better)" End ID]

Parents quickly realized how much more convenient this was and pretty soon every single egg had stacks of signs to communicate with.

The next innovation came from Vegetta, who was the resident mod knower at the time. He knew about colored canvas signs and gave Leo signs in her favorite color purple because he loved her and gave her everything she wanted.

[ID: Leo's bed in her room under some Fooligetta fanart with a purple sign reading "<3" End ID]

Colored signs obviously had a lot of advantages. Being able to tell at a glance which egg placed which sign was a huge step forward in eggs being able to have long, complicated conversations as well as leaving obvious marks of their personality everywhere they went. It took a little while for them to be standard for every egg though. Bobby never stopped using oak signs even after Richas and Pomme both showed up with colored signs.

[ID: Two signs reading from right to left a red Pomme sign reading "we already started working on a guillotine factory" and a dark grey Dapper sign reading "thats the most french u have said so far pomme" End ID]

And this was the system for a while! And it worked pretty well for most people! The biggest struggle most people had was egg signs not being translated, but streamers adjusted to that by reading signs out loud so the translators would pick up on them. This also lead to adorable and fascinating dynamics like Richas swearing in signs he wrote for Bad and then warning Bad not to read them out. There was also the genuinely phenomenal development of Leolingo where Leo writes only in Spanish to Foolish because it's easier for her to write and he takes his time to puzzle his way through it and learn in a way that's super cool to watch someone else do onscreen.

Then Tubbo joined the server. And Tubbo himself had no problems at all with the system, but he is dyslexic and he casually mentioned offhand that it was getting kind of annoying to read signs after a ten hour long stream and the admin team Fucking Cooked.

Within 24 hours, they had TTS working on the signs. Within 48 hours, it was working on books too. I can't remember how long it took to get translation working, but it was definitely under a week.

And this opened up a whole new world of possibilities for the entire QSMP. The admin team has been on top of capitalizing on it for story purposes, but also just allowing the egg admins to speak in their native languages to everyone whenever they want has been so enriching for everyone involved. Leolingo is awesome but Foolish has been learning Spanish insanely fast and his process is a lot slower and more frustrating than most people can do in front of an audience of thousands of people without feeling discouraged. That's also one language. We've had everything from Foolish being able to check his work a bit more faster to Phil insisting on his eggs taking a day to speak to him in their native languages to Ramón writing a book for Fit in Cantonese, a language we haven't even seen on the server in any other context!

And all of it is fully understood and fully communicated! Sometimes the translators mess up but no one expects them to be perfect and people ask for clarification if the translator says something that doesn't sound right. It's not only a massive step forward in communication technology, but it's a great demonstration of how to use it and when you can and can't rely on it.

And finally, the most recent innovation! One of BBH's viewers sent him a dono saying they had trouble reading certain signs because they were too low-contrast. Bad, Richas, and Pomme just. Took it upon themselves to fix the problem right there and then. Based on One (1) bringing up their own personal struggle, those three came up with new signs that innovate tremendously on the originals.

[ID: Two separate images of the before and after. The first is the egg signs in their original colors with the corresponding egg's name written on them to demonstrate the font color and the second is in the new, higher contrast colors with the same text. The new signs also have custom decorations for each egg. The second picture also has two signs from Pomme in all caps that read "Send all the love to Richas he spent a whole night making this he's the best <3" End ID]

There are three main innovations visible in the above pictures

1: Obviously, the colors are higher contrast. The signs with white text have darker colors and the signs with black text have lighter colors.

2: The colors themselves are lower saturation. Richas said this made it easier for him personally to read them so he corrected that way, but that's open to change if it causes difficulties for more people than it helps

3: The decorations are for accessibility reasons! People with various different forms of colorblindness will find different sets of colors easier or harder to distinguish, but any of them can look at the decorations and use them to identify whose sign is whose instead.

But! Those innovations are not why I made this post! It's these ones!

[ID: The backs of the new signs when placed on the ground. Most visible are Chayanne's with vines and a hardcore heart, Sunny's with shining sunglasses, and Pomme's with an apple and the Eiffel Tower. End ID]

Richas added distinguishing marks to the backs of the signs too! This is something that Bad brought up specifically as something he wanted because it was hard for him to tell who was talking when he was using TTS from behind signs and couldn't see the colors at all.

We went from custom egg signs (a hotbar or so of words and nothing else to communicate with) through a long journey of expanding communication and expanding who we're bringing along on the communication and how easily they can join in and we've circled all the way back around to custom egg signs (they can say anything they want in any language they want and anyone will know it's them saying it from any angle)

and i guess i have enough feelings abotu that to write All This about it

[lola-bunn1]

can u do one where neteyam is expected to find a mate and you get distant and all bc yk its not gonna be you and another guy makes a move on u and he gets mad n confession n stuff? i love ur writing

oblivious

❥ genre: angsty ish to fluff

10 years, you've been best friends with neteyam for 10 years. you both saw each other grow up, and now it's over. you know it is

neteyam has finally matured, he was ready to get an ikran, ready to go hunting with the others, and most of all, he was now expected to mate.

you know whoever he's gonna mate with is not gonna like you being friends with him, you admit it yourself, you wouldn't like your partner spending time with another girl. so you understood why it would happen

so you began distancing yourself, as a preparation. but also to ease the pain for when you finally see him with someone that isn't you. it was bound to happen. you were stupid enough to fall for him, and now it was going to be harder than it should be

you cried, you cried at night just thinking about the way life would be, you were sure he didn't feel the same, besides, he was going to be the next olo'eyktan, he needed to have someone proper, someone actually important

who were you to be mating with someone like him? he would probably pick elmirìey, she was a proper girl, a gorgeous one. or maybe he'd pick awia, she was a great warrior, from a great family

not only did you distance yourself from him, but his family too. you were so close to them, hell even neytiri liked you. but now, you acted like you didn't even know them

you sat at a special spot you found in the forest, you and neteyam used to come here but he's too busy now. so its just you

"hey!" you heard a voice behind you

"oh, neteyam" you said

"what a way to greet me, do you not want me around that much?"

"what?" you furrowed your eyebrows

"don't be like that. you know exactly what I'm talking about." he said

"I heard you're looking for a mate now that you've had your ceremony"

he sighed, knowing you're trying to change the subject, "yeah. but to be honest, I've already found one. Just gotta figure out a way to tell her"

your heart shattered.

"oh, that's nice. I um, I have to go" you said

"y/n wait-"

and with that, you ran off somewhere, your tears sliding down your cheeks, how could he find one so fast? does he love her that much? has he been loving her, just waiting for his ceremony so he can finally pick her?

"oh" you heard a voice and sighed

"I'm sorry I ran--" you said, turning around to see that it was not neteyam speaking

"are-are you okay? you look like you've been crying" the man said

"i'm fine, thanks tenio" you said, wiping your tears

tenio was a fine young man, he was actually really nice, but you've never really talked to him

"i was just looking for some fruits to pick for my mother, but ill leave you alone-"

"no no, you can stay uh, i know where you can get the ripe ones, follow me" you said, walking along the forest with him next to you, you two talked for a bit as he was picking the fruit

"i heard you had your ceremony the other day" you said

"yeah, it sucks though." he said

"wait what? why so?" you asked

"well everyone is waiting for me to mate with someone, but there isn't anyone in my life, ill have to mate with some random stranger" he sighed

"oh...im so sorry"

"it's fine-"

"there you are!" neteyam's voice filled your ears, he turned to see tenio there, and his face faltered

"let's go" he said, grabbing your hand and walking away, an angry look on his face, you definitely did not want to do anything to upset him more

"uh, tell your mother i said hi! enjoy the fruits!" you said and he just nodded

once he was out of sight you pulled away

"why were you with him?!" he said

"i was just helping him pick fruits!"

"everybody knows that trick! you help him and he subtly mentions that he has nobody to mate with so you can feel bad"

"you're being insane right now. nobody has ever done that" you rolled your eyes

"they have, you just never realize it" he yelled

"what if i do realize it, hm? what if i want them to do it? why don't you go tell your stupid girl how much you want her to be your mate and leave me alone!"

"i can't go"

"why not!" you yelled

"because she's standing right in front of me"

"what?"

"it's you, y/n. i don't want anyone else why don't you understand that? you think I don't notice how you've been avoiding me and my family too?"

"i-i avoided you because i couldn't stand seeing you with another girl."

"wait-you thought i was gonna mate with someone else?" he asked

you looked down and avoided looking at him, he lifted your chin up with his finger

"i've been waiting for years to finally make you mine, y/n. it hurts me to see you with anyone else too."

"really?" you asked

"i see you, y/n."

"i see you, ma nete" you smiled, and the two of you shared a kiss

how were you so oblivious?

[likedovesinthewindd]

hey babes i recently commented under one of your posts about ex patrick 😮‍💨😮‍💨 oh my god that was like insane. i thought i’d come to the ask box to elaborate. i’m thinking readers perspective. you’ve been on some shitty dating app for hours, just trying to find a casual hook up bc hey ur horny, whatever!! and no guy is like hot, not like patrick. your kids spending the night with him, you dropped her off earlier. so you show up at his door at about 12 pm, tell him to not say anything as you take him straight to the bedroom of the house you once lived in together. tell him to shut up when you fuck him 😞😞😞and patrick’s living for it bc like he’s desperate. and you look at his hand and the damn rings still on like god!

i'm so glad you elaborated on this because this is just perfect, your mind is beautiful. the ring still being on? telling him to shut up? pussy = exploded

You've always been a very proud person, very assured of your worth, and never willing to bend the boundaries you've set for yourself. That was why it just felt ten times more humiliating that you found yourself on a dating app at eleven pm on a Friday night, searching for what you could only call a quick fuck.

It's been close to an hour and a half's worth of scrolling and swiping, and you've found nothing. Some candidates have come close, but upon closer inspection, their descriptions made them sound like the worst people on earth, and even though you were somewhat desperate, you still had standards.

You switched off your phone and threw it next to you on bed with an exasperated sigh, staring up into the broken ceiling fan in your dark bedroom. Is this what your life had come to? Single, lonely, and frustrated beyond belief? You closed your eyes, mind running through your day's activities as you refocused your mind on trying to fall asleep instead of jumping into a stranger's bed.

Your mind drifted to earlier today when Patrick came to pick up your daughter. She had been so excited, practically jumping into his arms and shrieking in joy as he lifted her into the air. He looked so good, dressed in a simple pair of jeans and one of those stupid polo shirts he always wore that sat a little tighter around his biceps, emphasizing their size. He loitered around your apartment a little longer, making small talk and as always inquiring you about your life before he was on his way again.

Your apartment felt so empty without your daughter's laughter and presence around, which only intensified the deep longing and loneliness that felt like it ran bone deep. Ever since your divorce, you've assured concerned friends and family that you'd have no problems adjusting to now being alone because, in all honesty, you didn't feel alone. Your daughter kept you busy, as well as your job, and you had a good support system from said friends and family. Up until recently, though, you've been feeling what you suppose everyone had warned you about. Not being alone but lonely.

The next few moments after that were one big blur. One minute, you were jumping out of bed and hastily dressing yourself in something warmer and searching around your apartment for your car keys, and the next you were in front of Patrick's door at a quarter past midnight.

After a few knocks, the door was opened by a half asleep Patrick, eyebrows creasing in confusion when he saw you standing in his doorway. "Hey?" he said, voice still thick with sleep as he stepped to the side, making way for you to come inside. "Hi," you said softly as you made your way inside the small house.

Upon entering, it was like a wave of nostalgia hit you, almost knocking you off your feet. Patrick hadn't made much effort to renovate or change the place after you left, basically just replaced the things you took with you and keeping everything else the way it was when the two of you first moved in. The area just above the fireplace still proudly displayed a plethora of photos; mostly your daughter's baby photos and pictures from college, but what caught your eye was that he still kept all your wedding photos. You picked up one of the framed photos, finger wiping the dust that had gathered around the edges as you stared at how happy the two of you looked together.

You hadn't even noticed Patrick had joined you until you felt his presence looming behind you. "Everything alright?" he asked softly, genuine concern in his voice, "It's late, and you don't usually just show up at my doorstep."

"How come you haven't taken these down, Patrick?" you asked, gesturing to the wedding pictures still displayed. You looked at him over your shoulder, noticing his eyes on you instead of the pictures. "I was too lazy to take them off," he mumbled as he watched you carefully place the picture back before turning to him. "Really?" you asked softly.

"No," he said, "I just didn't wanna take them down." You bit the inside of your cheek as you considered his words. "If I did, it would mean everything was over," he added after a moment. "It is," you said matter-of-factly, but he only smirked down at you. "Then why are you here?" he asked as he moved closer to you. Patrick always had a problem with personal space, practically in your face as he peered down at you.

It was like the damn finally broke, and before you could stop yourself, you were kissing him. And it t felt so right, like it was what you had been looking for this whole time, what you needed. You tugged him closer desperately before looping your arms around his neck. Patrick groaned at that, arms wrapping around your waist as he deepened the kiss, tongue already looking for access. You granted it, parting your lips and allowing him to lick inside your mouth. He moaned at the taste of you, something he had been starved of for so fucking long.

He suddenly pulled away, and you whined, trying to pull him back to your lips. "Please don't," you said out of breath, already knowing he had some smug line or I told you so he wanted to get in. You didn't give him the chance to before your lips were on his once again. His hands move down from your waist to your ass, squeezing the doughy flesh in handfuls and smiling against your lips when you shuddered in his grasp, your grip on him only tightening.

His hands move down to below your ass and he taps the back of your thighs lightly. You take the sign and jump into his arms as he wraps your legs around his waist before he's carrying you through the hallway blindy and to the room you once shared.

You land on the bed with a light bounce, and soon Patrick is on top of you as he continues to kiss you feverishly. His weight on top of you felt heavenly as you clung to his warm body. Your hands tugged at his t-shirt, and he lifted himself again to quickly tug it off. You followed suit, getting rid of your sweatshirt and old sleep shirt, exposing your bare chest to him before you lay back down.

His eyes fall down to your breasts, pupils dilating as his mouth parted in a shaky breath. He lowers back down to you, lips continuing their assault to your skin as his hands greedily grab at the soft fat of your tits. "Is this why you've been on my case so much, hm?" he spoke against the skin of your neck, "why you've been so fucking mean to me? Y'just needed to get laid?"

You wanted to roll your eyes at his smug tone, retort with some sarcastic quip, but he was telling the truth. It was hard to find a smart reply when he was already making you feel better than any guy had in months. You pulled his face up to yours in an attempt to shut him up, and he obliged happily, kissing you as his hips started rutting against yours impatiently.

The friction felt perfect, your whole body set alight when you felt his mouth on your left breast, lips taking your nipple into his mouth and sucking hard while his hand squeezed at your other breast. It all felt so good, but it wasn't enough, and you were beginning to grow impatient. Any complaint quickly died on your lips the moment you felt Patrick's mouth trail kisses down your body as he played with the hem of your sweatpants. He looked up at you, mouth still planting kisses to the soft pudge of your stomach as he wordlessly asked for permission.

You nodded eagerly, hips lifting from the bed to help him as he pulled down both your pants and underwear in one swift move. He laid back down, finding home between your legs as you spread them to make space for his broad figure. He lifted your legs by the back of your knees before placing them over his shoulders, teeth nipping and kissing the soft skin of your inner thighs as he moved closer to where you needed him most.

You can feel his hot breath against your cunt, you know he's staring at it in all its glory with rapt attention, and you squirm under his attention, pussy clenching around nothing and the sight makes Patrick smile. "Fucking beautiful," he muttered as he pressed a kiss to your mound, just above your clit, making you whine in frustration.

"Patrick," you huffed, propping yourself onto your elbows as you peered down at him. "So pretty. Everything about you's so fucking pretty," he seemingly ignored your plea as he placed another kiss right to your clit before he was licking a broad stripe up your pussy. Your head fell right back down onto the sheets with a soft thud as you moaned softly, the sweet sound making him groan into your pussy as his hups bucked into the mattress below you.

He was like a man starved, tounge licking through your folds and up the seam of your cunt until he reached your clit, sucking it into his mouth as his tongue traced tight circles onto the small bud. You were reeling, hand moving down to grab onto his hair as the other squeezed at your breast, willing yourself to keep quiet even though it felt like you were about to explode. Your hips bucked uncontrollably, and Patrick pressed his arm over your lower stomach to keep you still as he doubled his efforts, tongue dipping into your drenched hole as he started fucking you with it.

It felt like liquid heat was streaming through your whole body and settling deep in your lower belly as you tried not to make too much noise, still considerate of your daughter sleeping just a few doors away.

You took quick breaths, trying to find the air that was being knocked right out of you, breasts raising and falling in rapid breaths as you felt yourself approach that familiar peak. Patrick kept his attention on you the whole time, eyes trained on the way you grabbed and squeezed at your tits, eyes meeting yours when you'd look down at him with a half lidded gaze and parted lips singing quiet praises and unintelligible profanities his way.

He took your clit back into his mouth, sucking lightly and your eyes rolled into the back of your head, hand moving to cover your mouth as the other tightened its grip on Patrick's hair. "I'm gonna cum," you managed to force through heaving breaths. In response, Patrick moaned into your pussy and the vibrations were enough to push you over the edge, a silent scream leaving your dry throat as your body spasmed uncontrollably. He worked you through it gently, lapping up at your cunt untill you slumped back down in bed with a satisfied sigh.

He barely gave you time to recover before he was moving back up your body, mouth finding yours in a sloppy kiss as he moaned into your mouth, hands all over your body as you kissed him back through your still hazy mind.

"You still out of it, huh?" he asked, smiling against your mouth and laughing when he heard you groan. "You should've come to me sooner, baby," he continued as he dipped his head into the crook of your neck, placing soft kisses there.

In a swift move, you pushed him off of you until he was on his back before you went to straddle him. He smiled, hands immediately finding place on your hips as he looked up at your heavenly figure above him, body illuminated by the bright streetlights coming through the half closed blinds.

"You never know when to fucking shut up, Patrick," you breathed as you lifted yourself off him, pulling off his briefs and sitting back down on his lower stomach, making sure to stay out of reach from where he wanted you most. He tried to not so subtly move you and move himself so that he could just slip inside, but you weren't going to let him have it so easily. You dragged your nails down his torso lightly, enjoying the way the muscles in his stomach twitched at your touch and the way he shuddered beneath you.

You finally move downwards, planting yourself on his lap and when he feels the wetness of pussy he audibly groans before stifling it, still mindful of his volume. You take his dick into your hand, slowly stroking him before you're lining him up. He tries to give the final push inside, but you angle your hips away when he does. When he drops his hips back down to the mattress defeatedly, you once again lift your body before positioning yourself.

Your slowly lower yourself onto him, and Patrick moans at the feeling of your cunt enveloping him. "Fuck, yeah. That's it," he breathes, hands squeezing at the fat of your hips as he watches as you leisurely take him in his entirety. He watches your pretty face contort in pleasure as you work yourself onto his dick, determined to be filled to the hilt.

When your hips finally meet his, you both let out a sigh of relief, and you have to take a moment to get used to the reacquainted stretch. It's so good, everything feels too good and you're already dangerously close, but you'd be dammed if you were going to let Patrick know that.

After a few moments, you carefully lift yourself until just the tip is inside before dropping back down with a soft plop. Patrick curses loudly as you steadily build up your tempo, eyes not leaving his as you slowly bounce yourself on his dick. You moan sweetly, heat pooling in your lower belly, and Patrick smirks as he watches you lose yourself as you fuck yourself on him.

"Yeah, that's it. Take what you need, baby. You fuckin' needed this didn't you?" he said with a breathless laugh, watching the way your tits bounced as you moved above him. "Just needed to get fucked. Those assholes you've been going out with weren't doing it for you? Huh?"

He sounds so proud of himself, cocky because he finally had you where he's wanted you for years, basically, without even having to really do anything. "Shut up, Patrick, just shut up," you say through a moan, hips ceasing in favour of grinding down against him instead. "You're always fucking talking, acting so damn smug and like you were so unaffected by it all," you say, doubling your efforts and causing Patrick to moan underneath you. He lifts his knees slightly, and you balance yourself on his upper thighs as you change your angle, your clit rubbing against his public bone perfectly and making you whine in pleasure.

His hands grip on your hips tightens as he aids your grinding, other hand coming up to harshly squeeze at your right breast. Your eyes catch a glimpse of the golden band on his finger, and you laugh breathlessly. "Fuck, Patrick, you're still wearing your fucking ring. You still have out wedding pictures up, you haven't even changed anything in the house since I've left. And you wannna act cocky?"

He whines underneath you, eyes closing as he bucks up into you, causing you to moan. The coil in your stomach is tightening with every drag of your hips against his, and every time he bucks up into you, he punches the air right out of your lungs. He's in no better condition, either, audibly moaning when you build up the energy to start bouncing on him again.

"Fuck, I'm close," he breathes, doubling his efforts as he fucks into you every time you lower yourself on him in an effort to get you on the same page. "Tell me you missed me," you moan, looking down at him with pleading eyes. He nodded, mouth dry as he tried to construct a sentence from his pussy whipped mind.

"Fuck, f'course I fucking missed you," he slurred, "Can't see myself with anyone else, baby. Don't want anyone else. Only want you. Need you so bad."

"I'm gonna cum," you squeeked, whining at the painful burn in your thighs as your pace began to falter. Patrick saw this and acted quickly, pulling you down to his chest as he planted his feet on the bed. He held you tightly to him as he fucked up into you at a frantic pace, causing you to moan into the crook of his neck as you felt that coil in your stomach pulling taut. You came with a scream as you bit into Patrick's shoulder to muffle the sound, him not far behind as he gave a few uncoordinated thrusts before he was cumming as well.

The room fell quiet, only the sound of your heave breathing filling the space. You planted a few apologetic kisses to his shoulder, feeling the vibrations in his chest as he hummed softly. He kissed the top of your head, mouth lingering there a little longer before he was pulling away. You got off of him carefully, wincing at both the mess and slight burn between your legs before you plopped down on the sheets.

Patrick made his way into the bathroom, returning with a hot towel he used to carefully clean you up with before he plopped down next to you, pulling you into his arms as he kissed you softly. You stayed like this a while, head resting on his chest as you absent-mindedly played with the band on his finger and he quietly drifted off. You suddenly lifted yourself from him and woke Patrick from almost falling asleep. "What's wrong?" he asked groggily, watching as you moved around the dark room in one of his old shirts, looking for your clothes.

"I should probably go," you whispered, struggling to really see anything in the dark room. "It's almost three AM, I'm not letting you drive right now," he reasoned, "besides, I don't want you to go."

You sighed, rubbing over your face as you mulled over his words. "I don't wanna go either," you admitted softly, "but what are we going to tell her when she wakes up and sees I'm here?"

"Tell her we had a sleepover," he shrugged. "Patrick," you said seriously and he sighed. "Okay, we'll think about it in the morning, okay?" he said tiredly before extending his hand to you, "please don't go." You sighed, looking at his outstretched hand before you took it, allowing him to pull you back against the heat of his body before he was pulling the sheets over you, falling asleep in the bed you once shared.

[badchoicesworld]

Heyyyy I really love ur writing! And also kind of ur vibe as a person 😳 but anyway!

Since you said we can be specific, I wanted to ask about Hobie getting a just a little bit flustered when receiving genuine heartfelt compliments and affection through words bc it catches him off guard. He'd also find the reader a bit naive at first only to find out that they're actually incredibly cunning and calculated. They just come across as naive bc they're so ridiculously sweet once they trust someone :3 (and it always looks like they trust quickly bc they have insane psychoanalytic abilities but now I'm rambling;;; (⁠´⁠⊙⁠ω⁠⊙⁠`⁠)! )

Hope this isn't too much ^^"

hobie realises you’re not as naive as he thought

hobie brown x gn!reader

omggg 😳 tyy anonnnn you got me blushing n shit 🤭 but no fr, ty that’s so sweet lmao <33 and no, this was perfect, ily

warnings: none

pairing: hobie brown x gn!reader

requests: masterlist plz

★⋆ ⋆☆⋆ ☠︎︎ ⋆☆⋆⋆★✧

on first inspection, to hobie, you appear to be this person that trusts way too easily and immediately treats people way too kind for a person you just met- you seem clueless and completely naive when it comes to putting your trust in others since you’re so quick to do it

hobie doesn’t think it’s a bad trait at all to be inherently kind, but when you’re kind to literally everyone you immediately deem trustworthy, it’s like you’re looking to get hurt

he might occasionally have one of his rants to you about the ins and outs of the “real world”, propaganda that surrounds you, distracting you from the truth, the sharks at the top of it all, the people that would take advantage of you

there’s no ill intent, he just really thinks you’re gonna get hurt like that

and who wants that ?

so yeah, anyway, when he first meets you, he can basically see the switch once you’ve realised he’s trust worthy

you’re the sweetest person ever without prompt, and it admittedly looks like nativity to him at first

but because you now trust him, it means you’ll be a sweetheart to him

at first, it’s small compliments that he can appreciate- maybe something about his style or rebellious attitude that he’s heard all before

but you suddenly amp it up for no reason one day and it just completely turns the tides

if you’re aware of his secret identity, you change his perception of you completely when you basically soul read him

you manage to craft the most heartfelt, genuine, sincere acknowledgement of the sacrifices he’s made, along with genuine thanks and somehow stating the closest interpretation of his emotions that he’s ever heard before. from someone that isn’t him, anyway

hell, you’ve maybe even just helped him realise a few things about himself

he’s fucking gobsmacked

he stares at you as if you’ve just said the most outrageous but enlightening thing ever to be uttered

slack jawed, eyes wide, completely silenced for a solid while

he’s eventually able to process wtf you just said to him, and now he’s just trying to play it off with a really goofy grin that doesn’t hide he’s flustered

hobie’s doing all sorts with his hands to try distract the both of you- gestures while he tried to defend the little of his pride he has left, holding the back of his neck, maybe nudging you or shaking your whole frame

he gets the faintest idea that you might be just a little less naive than he though, but not entirely

that might have just been a lucky guess, after all

you’re definitely smarter in his eyes, though

depending on your status, if you’re a spider-person, from a different dimension, from his dimension- it doesn’t matter, he’s intrigued by you now

might brag a bit or be like “can you believe this?” when he sees you soul reading someone else

now there’s been multiple times throughout your guys’ friendship where you manage to slap him with some ungodly wisdom relating to him out of absolutely nowhere, and it never fails to catch him off guard

of course, hobie’s effortlessly cool, so being caught off guard is gonna keep making him feel a little vulnerable and flustered

especially when you just casually do one of the most in depth psychoanalysis of him ever for like the third time this week

he’s starting to think that you know something the rest of the multiverse doesn’t, how do you do that ?

“alright, alright! allow it, man, allow it.”

he’s laughing, but he’s also questioning where you stand in the world, are you secret intelligence ? tf is goin on

if you weaponise this ability to read people like an open book, then he can have fun with it

now it’s funny

especially if you guys are spider-people together and he just casually points out a villain you’ve been assigned to, with a look that says “ruin them”

this can also happen to random people on the street

it’s like how he can completely destroy peoples perception and faith in the establishment n all that, if you so choose, you can really make people feel seen or completely vulnerable or called out

after these encounters with bad people, he realises something about you

you’re somehow able to just know who to trust, and your guts never wrong

he wonders if it’s your spider-sense at first, if you have that

now he’s starting to piece everything together

you can easily distinguish between the good and bad people- the good you immediately trust and treat like an old friend

the bad, you never give the time of day

you’re always so quick to trust, and naive

but it’s starting to become clear to hobie that this isn’t nativity, you just have an uncanny ability to know people before they even introduce themselves

it’s kind of reassuring in a way, if he’s ever doubtful about someone, he’ll go to you and be like “thoughts?” then you can relay this insanely detailed psychoanalysis of this person you’ve just met

now he sees you as this incredibly insightful person, a lovely individual who has the potential to ruin lives with your insane ability to call people out

bonus:

if you guys are spider-people together, you’re both pretty well known for running your mouths

you instil fear

★⋆ ⋆☆⋆ ☠︎︎ ⋆☆⋆⋆★✧

as always, lemme know if this ate or not and i’ll try my best to fix it !

[micahulrichdraws]

I don't think self-deprecation or concern for the person's well-being is ever going to come across well to someone saying they like what you do. Maybe I'm missing something, but there are reasons to like your art besides being miserable. Even if only the truly miserable liked your work, responding to them by pointing out how miserable they must be wouldn't feel great for them. Your art isn't giving them depression, and it's not like you're contributing to net suffering by making art with ~themes~, so it seems unnecessary to bring up. You suggested that if you struggle to enjoy life, and you make something, anyone who resonates will also struggle to enjoy life. I disagree. Some people will like it for completely shallow reasons. Some people have empathy for others' suffering. You can have a decent life and no mental illness and probably still appreciate a well-drawn skeleton. I don't know what kind of art a perfect world would produce, but any world where people are mortal is going to have sadness, and some art will reflect that. Yours isn't uniquely dark.

Sorry if you've gotten 100 asks saying this same thing. I wasn't sure based on the ones you responded to, and I just found your blog. I know it's sort of a joke, bc you do still sell art prints and stuff, so you clearly are okay with people liking your art. Tbh, I /had/ depression for a few years, so I'm not exactly proof against the theory that your art somolehow only appeals to depressed people. It seems unlikely, though. And the way you talk about your art as "garbage" kind of gave me flashbacks to the sort of self-deprecating humor I'd use when I hated myself. I don't know you or how you're doing, but that feeling made me want to say something.

You didn't just miss something, you missed like, everything I've ever said on my blog about like, everything to the point I'm not even sure this was intended for me? Like I'd break it down, point by point and be like 'no what are you smoking' but that'd be a waste of time after the 'why do you think my art gives people depression!?' part of whatever this is. Like, this is offensive levels of trying to make me be someone I'm not for the sake of a hypothetical argument against a strawman. So if, you want to take offense to who I am in case you misclick and end up here again here's an asshole enough of a response to give you a legitimate reason to find me intolerable:

Welcome to my page! I make art, jokes, and bullshit with folks to make people happy. I started doing this when I was big sad, because cheering people up cheers me up. Now, here's the crazy part: some people are very sad, and sometimes they tell me it makes them a small amount of happy, which gives me dopamine and makes me do it again. The word 'some' means 'not everyone', or even 'a fraction of a percentage'. For example, in this case, it means 'most people just like my drawings but some people get an extra lil bit out of it'. I don't take myself seriously because I know that the art world is insanely intimidating to those outside of it, and sometimes artists tend to be egotistical and condescending, a word that means 'having or showing a feeling of patronizing superiority'. Naturally, I do everything in my power to avoid that, because I'm a very 'gates open' kinda person.

So, here's the WILD part: in my perfect world I would've never had depression. Now, I know, that would have been inconvenient for you as someone who passed by my page one time, and I do apologize. I also apologize that I don't make 'dark art', because I like frogs and mice doing cool shit. Finally, I apologize for my art having -~*themes and concepts*~-, I know good art only comes from ChatGPT and that was my bad.

Sike, I didn't apologize, my fingers were crossed behind my back when I said that. Fuck you for thinking me not wanting to be around for a decade is 'worth' because I drew a mediocre skeleton, and because somehow sadness is necessary. That line of thinking is so awful, here's a video explaining it:

PS: the reason my friends and I in these parts call my art 'art garbage' is because that's what my professors called it back in school for like 4 years, back when I started this shitshow. Much love.

[pablitogavii]

Can you do one where reader is feeling a little insecure abt her body (even tho it's perfect and she's stunning) and she says she wants to get a boob job or a bbl and gavi gets super dom and he gets a Lil aggressive saying no you don't need it (bc she is perfect) I think it would be soo cutee

Thank uuu<33

Forbidden

You just kept scrolling social media looking at all these models with their plum breasts and perfect butts. It was incredibly depressing to look in the mirror afterwards ... you looked like a kid compared to all of them.

"Are you insane!? Do you know what the recovery is for a bbl!?" your best friend told you one day when you mentioned in at college. She thought you were completely insane but she didn't have to deal with everyone commenting on her look on the internet. Not to mention she wasn't dating a celebrity all girls in Spain want.

"I'm home, mi amor!" Pablo walked in exhausted from the training noticing that you were way too focused on your phone to notice his arrival.

"Aii nena, what got all your attention huh?" he asked and you quickly turned off your phone where you were searching different plastic surgeries available nearby.

"Uff nenita, should I be worried???" he said and you shut him up with a kiss telling him not to be ridiculous since it was obvious that you were head over heels in love with him ...but how long will he want to be with you looking like this???

A few days later, Rapha walked to Pablo during training and pulled him to the side. He had an interesting conversation with his wife who told him about your questions.

"She asked her where to get work done???" Pablo made sure he understood and Rapha nodded explaining that it's often that women get insecure even though they look divine in the eyes of their men.

"Don't attack her Pablo, just try and get her to tell you herself" Rapha advised and Pablo followed his words hoping you would soon open up about this with him.

"Amor, venga aqui please?" he said sitting on the bed one evening while you were still finishing up your skincare. You walked to him and he pulled you on his lap with a kiss.

"Can you wear that lingerie I got you in Paris? I miss seeing you in it nena..." he said and you felt a lump in your throat ...you breasts barely fill the cups and despite Pablo saying he loved how it looked on you, it made you feel insecure.

"No ... amm... it's okay ...maybe another night Pablito" you tried avoiding the situation at all costs but he wouldn't let go keeping you on his lap.

"Que pasa contigo mi amor? Talk to me ..." he said and you looked anywhere but his eyes because you wouldn't lie but you can't say the truth either because it's embarrassing right now.

"Please, let me go ...I'm tired Pablo" you said but he wouldn't budge. Ugh sometimes you really hated when he was stubborn like this.

"You know I think your body is sexy ..." he said not able to keep it to himself anymore. He needed you to know how much he admires you from afar.

"Que?" you were a little taken back. Pablo was never much of talker, especially about intimacy, he preferred to show it all.

"Your breasts me vuelven loco ...they fit perfectly in my hands like they were made for me ...and your perky butt is perfect to be spanked ...and you know how much I enjoy doing that when you're mala ...hmmm but I know you secretly love when I squeeze in like this" he spoke slowly and seductively while squeezing your ass roughly making you fight an urge to moan.

"Pablito ..." you whisper and he kept his hands there for while until moving to hold your face and make you look in his eyes. He kissed you passionately and a little agressivly as well like he needed to to feel all his words in action.

"Listen to me, mi amor ...go put on that lingerie and let me enjoy what's mine" he said slowly releasing your hold and you jumped off quickly but still refusing to do what he said or talk about it.

When he saw you pull out your regular pajamas instead, he walked to the wardrobe and sat int he corner sofa.

"Don't be mala, nenita mia. Do what papi said!" he said sternly and you gulped looking at the lingerie in the box while signing.

"I want to get plastic surgery, Pablo!" you yelled it out and he sighed grabbing your hand rather roughly and pulling you to sit on his lap. You were once again trapped there and couldn't move.

"Now you listen to me, nena ...you are perfect and you don't need to get anything done! I don't want my things touched by anyone else or ruined with plastic surgery! I want you as you are ...perfect and mine" he spoke sternly and you held onto every word. There was no arguing with Pablo when he got dominant like this ...fuck you were also turned on so you decided to push your limits.

"But wouldn't you like if they were a little bigger Pablito???" you took his hand and placed it on your breast and he squeezed looking at your mouth longingly. You could feel underneath your butt that he was just as turned on as you.

"Dios ... they're perfect. Don't do it amor...por favor" he said helplessly at the end and you smiled kissing him passionately while he carried you to bed.

"Do you really like me like this Pablo?" you ask after a heated makeout session as both of you discarded your clothes on the floor enjoying every intimate moment.

"I don't only like you nena ...I love you just the way your are ...natural, divine and all mine. Si? Dime eso" he whispered into your ear kissing your weak spot leaving his famous marks all over your neck as you moaned.

"aaahh all yours Pablito ..." you half moaned and he smirked nodding his head while kissing you all over.

"Promise me you won't touch anything?" he said while resting between your thighs knowing how desperately you needed him.

"Porfavor ..." you begged hating being teased

"Promise me or I won't give it to you nena" he smirked knowing he is winning this battle.

"I promise Pablo! I won't do anything! Please give it to me!" you were yelling on top of your lungs and he was very proud of you in that moment. He will spend this night and the rest of his life showing you just how perfect you are for him ...just the way you are ❤️❤️❤️

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

AITA for getting a friend banned from Tumblr ? I(19nb) met a group of people through fandom (6 of us, adults) and we started talking on discord. It was fun and everyone was cool. We (privately) would send Fandom Takes on the discord and kind of make fun of how bad they were sometimes. It was pretty harmless, until one friend Summer(26f) (fake names) decided to fixate on a particular person named Brian in the fandom.

Brian was, I believe, about 13 or 14 years old at the time. They were a system blog (sorry I don't understand systems very well) and Brian was (or identified as?) a bunch of characters in this fandom from a lineage of ancestors that Summer liked. So I think Summer took it personally or something that this person mischaracterized them cuz they were her favorite characters?

Like I said, it started as harmless, privately posting some stuff that Brian had said and saying stuff like "me when I'm 13 years old" etc etc but Summer started to get an unhealthy fixation with this person and would start posting DAILY about Brian. I mean paragraph-long rants about this kid. It was getting out of hand so I started defending Brian even though I don't even know him cuz it started to sound really mean. But Summer would just kind of laugh it off and say "well its not like I'm saying this in public"

Summer also started to attack Brian personally about the whole 'system' thing, i don't really know anything about systems, and again, this kid is a total stranger, so idgaf, but Summer said that tiktok has totally bastardized what systems are and she's sick of kids thinking its an identity thing and stuff like that, since she works as a PSW in a psych ward and deals with people who have that disorder, I think this is also a big reason why Brian made her so mad, but again... Summer and Brian don't even know each other so it was getting uncomfortable, like it became so that nobody even posted in the Bad-Takes channel anymore bc Summer was just constantly posting personal stuff about Brian and it made us all feel weird about the channel altogether.

So this is where it starts to suck: Summer makes a sideblog, burnbook style, called something like We-Hate-Brian or Brian-Fucking-Sucks (cant remember the name) and starts literally copying Brian's text posts and parodying them and editing stuff into his icon photo and his art. She posts about this in our discord thinking its absolutely hilarious and I immediately start DMing everyone to mass report the blog (and her main) cuz I'm ashamed we even let it get this far.

So Summer gets banned from Tumblr, gets upset about it in the discord, and nobody really replies to her insane rant about it, she's totally convinced that somehow it was Brian himself. We all move to another discord to quietly ghost her and she messages us once in a while but I think what happened really soured everyone on her. Nobody has ever told Summer that it was us that got her banned, or why we did it. I feel kind of weird about it since we never told her and just collectively agreed to ghost her to avoid the inevitable drama. so AITA??

What are these acronyms?

[lycankeyy]

Jesus Christ these doodles already feel so old . I was not lying I really am using this fixation to speedrun learning to draw humans LMAO. Anyway I made some of those silly "understand ship in 5 minutes" memes with my Favorite pairings in funkycule au not ALL of them just the ones that I brainrot hardest about. If I did one for all of them we'd be here all day I'd probably hit image limit it's called the funkycule for a reason

ANYWAY infodumping/details under the cut:

BF/GF/Pico:

I am a "BF and GF are Fucking Tall™️" truther because it's funny to me. With BF it's harder to tell because his posture is absolutely atrocious but GF is just So Fucking Tall

I'm going to be honest with the gender headcanon for BF. I guess I default to him being transmasc but I can see him as. Like. Anything. In fact I think he's just every gender. But I'm a coward so he's transmasc for the purposes of the chart. GF is a girl but identifying her as "cis" or "trans" doesn't mean much when demon genders don't really work like that. It's complicated. Pico is just a guy

Pico likes being the big spoon because he likes knowing that his partners are safe. However GF likes being the big spoon More. The result is Pico Sandwich. He will never admit it but Pico feels the safest he ever has in his entire life when he is being Pico Sandwiched

BF is very much a verbal affection type of guy. Yes he is nonverbal. His words of affection are various dubstep noises. His partners appreciate it so much

BF grew up kinda spoiled and never really learned how to cook. However after noticing that Pico is like extremely bad at feeding himself (canon six pack means nothing to me. That boy is skin and bones I won't be told otherwise /silly) he for the first time managed to convince himself to try it and he got Really into it he's actually good at it. He still loses his mind when GF makes him pb&j sammiches for dinner though it's his favorite thing in the world

Pico is Insanely overprotective mostly because he's extremely hypervigilant and sees potential danger in everything. BF is the exact opposite and even in situations where he's in immediate danger he'll be ironically more worried about Pico getting too worried about it. GF is also pretty ditzy about this due to her confidence that her boys can handle Anything but if either of them ever got hurt she would explode everyone in a 50 mile radius with her mind so like that counts for something

Random headcanon: the group's favorite date night activity is looking up an extremely bad movie and then commentating over it like old-school rage youtubers the whole time in an effort to see who can get the others to laugh the hardest. BF wins often because the flatness of the TTS voice he uses adds something to the humor of it

Pico/Darnell:

I kinda bounced around with what label to use for Darnell for a while. I definitely see him as arospec, with the stipulation that he does feel romantic attraction just like very not traditionally and after a Long Time. After going between quoiromantic and demiromantic for a bit I landed on grey bc it's open-ended enough to encompass it. The point is it took Darnell like 3 full years to realize that his feelings were less platonic than he thought and even then theyre still like. Only half-romantic lmao

Unfortunately as he cannot provide the Pico Sandwich Darnell is getting little spoon'd by a guy nearly a foot shorter than him. F

Pico and Darnell are pretty verbally coarse with each other in a way only people who've been through the amount of shit they have been together can be w/o jeopardizing their relationship. That being said they often express affection and insane amounts of trust through actions very frequently, sometimes even without either of them realizing. Them immediately making up after weekend 1 was one of those times lol

I put Pico on the "squashes the bug" end of both charts but in reality I think he just takes them outside unless it's like a gnat or something. Darnell isn't scared of bugs he just wonders what would happen if he set one on fire. Pico refuses to let him set them on fire

Even though Pico 2 is in a weird limbo state in funkycule just like it is irl, there's still some point in the timeline where Pico expressed protectiveness over Darnell, to the point where, years later, when Darnell heard Pico took down a whole army for BF and GF, he got jealous, because that was supposed to be their thing >:(. This was quickly followed by his Oh moment

Random headcanon: Pico and Darnell had been acquaintances for the whole time they were in school together, but they became friends when Pico (and Nene by proxy) were the only kids to continue hanging out with him after The Class Presentation Gone Wrong (Darnell Plays with Fire). To return the favor, Darnell stuck by Pico even after the events of PS fundamentally changed him as a person. Though their relationship can be messy, they've been virtually inseperable since.

Nene/Cassandra:

The levels of toxicity of this are mostly dependant on When in the timeline by the time these two are like 21 they've normalized a bit dw lmao

Okay so like. I've made so much Lore. For Pico's School. For no reason. Anyway penilians have nothing against child soldiers so Cas was shipped off to infiltrate Earth at the penilian equivalent of 13. Also while on a surface level she's transfem in more depth it's like "all penilians are One Sex and have One Gender so technically she is xenogender, using neopronouns, and if you want to be extra silly with it, by the time she's 19 she's functionally alienkin but for humans as a coping mechanism for being banished to earth (dw abt it)"

[Projects my trauma and its side effects onto Nene] who said that

I didn't think much on the borrowing clothes thing until I realized that I draw Nene and Cassandra wearing the same style of turtlenecks I was like. Do you know what would be really funny

I don't have many intimate cute headcanons for these two Yet because I'm so early on in developing my shit and these two are Not cute at first. However I do like to imagine that Nene calls Cas all kinds of over-the-top cutesy or stupid nicknames just to get a reaction out of her. She called her a "vixen" as a furry joke + something between a compliment and insult once and she almost died

Nene is literally the only one in this entire cast who's never gotten her license suspended also she's somewhat good at car maintence which Cas find inexplicably hot

Giggles and kicks my feet at putting both Pico and Cassandra at the far end of the overprotectiveness spectrum. Anyway

Random headcanon: in the short period of time before Cas started ghosting Nene and FNF happening, they were in contact for One Christmas when they were like 15. Nene got Cas a cute little switchblade with hearts carved into the handle. Cas keeps it in a box by her bed and refuses to let anyone touch it or to let it ever get dirty.

If you have read this far I love you. Here is your reward should you choose to accept it:

[melz-367]

right, so this is odd but I just had the WEIRDEST revelation and went what if I made Michael Yew trans, gave him a massive self-hate arc when he hits puberty and make Jake the best boyfriend ever for just being awesome through it?

...

so I did.

and I can't be asked to make a proper story out of my random chunks of writing to put on ao3 so I'm posting it here lol

just... don't question where my brain went with this, it's cool, I'm insane

😎 👍🏻

first bit is a lil angsty and cringe bc I havent edited properly but the rest is basically crack and chaos

~~~

Jake wasn't all that surprised when he found Michael in their tree, staring at the sky miserably. Instead, he sat beside his boyfriend and joined him in watching the clouds. "What's up?"

Michael sighed heavily, muttering something under his breath that Jake didn't catch. He raised an eyebrow at the son of Apollo, and the archer huffed, covering his face with his hands as he spoke.

"Maturing."

Jake paused. "Sorry?"

His boyfriend groaned, rubbing at his eyes and refusing to look at Jake. "I'm maturing."

"Right. And...? Isn't that what everyone does as they get older?"

"No. Well, yes, but like..." He sighed, spitting it out. "My body is maturing and I hate it."

Jake stopped, realisation washing over him. "Oh. So, you're..."

"Menstruating." Michael said through gritted teeth. "And it sucks. It doesn't feel right. Also, hip curvature equally sucks."

He looked at the son of Apollo, faintly befuddled. "Hip curvature?"

Michael groaned, then sat up and pulled his shirt tightly around his waist, and Jake paused as he spotted what the archer had been hiding under loose t-shirts and hoodies.

Oh.

His boyfriend's hips had indeed curved, forming a slim waist and slight hourglass figure that most girls would die for. Michael, however, looked absolutely miserable about it, seemingly under the impression Jake might be put off or horrified by the change, but the son of Hephaestus just looked at his boyfriend and noted how it accentuated his natural beauty. He gently moved to wrap his arms around the other, carefully pulling the archer into his lap, and found his hands fit just perfectly in his boyfriend's curves, meaning he was easily able to hold the smaller boy, and it felt right. Michael had tears in his eyes, and Jake pulled him closer, resting his head on the other's shoulder as the son of Apollo refused to meet his eyes, staring out into the trees stubbornly.

"I think you're beautiful." He hummed, pressing a kiss to the archer's jaw, and Michael blushed, but still avoided eye contact, seemingly embarrassed as he sniffled quietly. Jake smiled and cupped his boyfriend's chin, turning his face to look at him. "Hey. I don't care that your hips are curvy, or that you're on your period, or any of that shit. Actually, I do care, and I think it makes you even more beautiful. This," He slipped his hands under his boyfriend's shirt, tracing his fingers along his boyfriend's sides and outlining his curvy figure. "Is not something to be ashamed of. I love you for who you are, and that will never change, yeah?"

Michael smiled slightly, then sighed, looking at himself in disgust. "I'm a girl."

"No you're not. And if you are, I'll love you just the same. Doesn't matter to me."

Michael snickered slightly at that. "Are you seriously saying you'd turn bisexual just for me?"

Jake smirked, shrugging. "Yup. I'm yours, no matter what."

His boyfriend looked at him for a minute, then grinned, leaning forwards to kiss him. "I don't deserve you."

"Likewise."

"I'm still a boy, though."

He grinned. "Good. Thought so."

Michael snickered, then sighed and looked back down at himself, frowning. "But this still isn't good."

"Why?"

"The bone structure isn't as strong." He said, matter-of-factly, and Jake smirked, raising an eyebrow at him.

"So, it makes you more delicate?"

Michael sighed, rolling his eyes. "Technically, yes."

"Good to know. Guess I'll have to be extra gentle." He grinned, and Michael slapped him lightly, huffing, but there was a smile twitching at the son of Apollo's lips.

"Shut up. I'm not fragile."

"Only to me."

"Shh. I'm fine. See?" He hit himself in the ribs, hard, and Jake paused, grabbing his boyfriend's hands and looking at him, unimpressed.

"Don't hurt yourself."

"I'm fine."

"Please."

Michael looked at him for a moment, then sighed and nodded, leaning his head on Jake's shoulder. Jake smiled, moving his hands back to the other's waist, secretly loving the feel of his boyfriend's curves, not disgusted in the slightest by the change, and instead enjoyed the way the son of Apollo did feel more delicate, in contrast to his normally hard, stony exterior. Michael was unbelievably strong in some ways, but in others he was much more fragile, particularly mentally, and Jake sometimes had to take the initiative, not that he minded, because in times like this, Michael let himself be taken care of, and the son of Hephaestus enjoyed it.

~~

He soon found out that the only downside to reassuring the son of Apollo that he loved the way he looked, was when Michael used that to his advantage, and managed to twist Jake into a complete mess, simply by losing a bet.

Michael had reluctantly informed him earlier in the day that he'd managed to lose a bet with Kayla, and she was making him pay the price at campfire. Therefore, Jake was expecting his boyfriend to be forced into playing his guitar during sing-along, or telling bad jokes onstage, or something else the son of Apollo would greatly dislike.

He did not expect him to walk in wearing his sister's clothes.

Michael was dragged into the amphitheater by a giggling Kayla, the son of Apollo wearing skinny jeans, a crop top, and his camp necklace tied around his bow, with only the bronze pendant Jake had given him on show. Jake felt his brain short-circuit as he looked at the other boy, noting how ridiculously good Michael looked in those clothes, with his slim figure and tanned skin shown off brilliantly. Nyssa whistled quietly next to him, nudging her brother in the ribs.

"Kay mentioned she was giving Mikey a glow up as punishment for losing, but I didn't think she'd be able to get him looking that good. Damn, when did he grow into his height like that?"

Jake just stared, completely and utterly entranced by the other boy. Kayla soon spotted him gaping, and nudged her brother, gesturing to Jake and grinning. Michael turned and spotted him, instantly blushing scarlet when he noticed the son of Hephaestus staring at him, and he smirked, winking at the other boy, which absolutely did not help with Jake's current state of mind. Nyssa snickered and poked him.

"Dude, you're basically drooling over him right now, you know that?"

Jake slowly peeled his eyes off his boyfriend, face bright red in embarrassment as he looked away, instead meeting Nyssa's eyes as his sister smirked at him. "I- shut up." He blushed, and Nyssa grinned.

"Wow. You really are a simp."

"Shut up! I just... didn't expect it. He looks good, though."

His sister smirked, looking back at the son of Apollo. "True. Since when did puberty hit him, my gods."

Jake snickered. "About a month ago. He was really upset, got his period and everything."

Nyssa winced. "Poor guy. Confused?"

"Nah, he knew what was going on. Just embarrassed, mostly. Disgusted by himself, which I wasn't okay with, but I think we've sorted it. He had to go to Ellie for period advice, which he was not happy about either."

"Hm. A late bloomer, clearly."

"Apparently so."

"He's grown into it, though. If he was a girl, he could totally pull that figure off. Damn."

"Yup." Jake was staring again, and he knew it. Michael seemed to be finding it endlessly amusing. Nyssa suddenly poked him again.

"Not gonna lie, I don't think you're the only one checking him out." She hummed, nodding to a boy that had slipped through the crowd to sit next to Michael, eyes trained on the son of Apollo's hips and waist. Jake scowled as he sat down beside Michael, much too close for anyone's comfort, and quite clearly started flirting, trying to touch the son of Apollo and wrap an arm around his waist. Michael, however, was not amused in the slightest, and Jake could see him snapping at the other boy and pushing him away. The camper didn't seem to get the hint and kept pushing, until Michael rolled his eyes and pointed to his necklace, then at Jake, who was glaring the guy down, resisting the urge to punch his face into a wall. Michael seemed quite amused by the angry fire blaring in his boyfriend's eyes, and eventually managed to shove the camper away, but Jake could still see far too many eyes on his boyfriend, and it made him grit his teeth. He'd never been a massively jealous person, but right now he was feeling seriously possessive; the urge to walk over, make out with the archer and hold him tightly, clear to everyone that the son of Apollo was his, becoming very strong in the back of his mind.

He just about managed to avoid that until the end of campfire, and then as everyone was packing up, the other boy just grinned at him and disappeared back to cabin seven, leaving Jake fuming as he returned to cabin nine. Jackass.

~~

"Hey."

Jake was sitting against one of the trees bordering the lake, just relaxing and watching some of the younger campers splash around in the water, until he heard a very familiar voice and looked up.

That was his first mistake.

Michael was stood next to him, grinning and leaning against the tree, wearing a similar outfit to the night before with low rise skinny jeans and a slightly cropped shirt. He was still wearing his bronze pendant, with his bow slung over his shoulder, and the son of Apollo looked absolutely amazing. Jake just stared at him for a moment, then shook his head and quickly looked away, training his eyes on one of the trees on the other side of the lake. Michael snickered, flopping down next to him, and Jake groaned internally. This wasn't going to end well for him. Michael just laughed. "Are you ignoring me?"

"No." Jake replied, continuing to stare at the trees. "Just not looking."

"Why?" He could hear Michael's grin in his voice, and he knew the other boy knew exactly what he was doing to Jake. Asshole.

"Because I can't have a conversation with you if I can't think straight. Literally."

Michael snickered, shuffling up so they were shoulder to shoulder, and Jake sighed heavily as the other boy spoke, smirking. "Do you like it?"

He huffed. "Too much, along with half of camp." He grumbled, and Michael snickered again.

"Jealous?"

"Unbelievably jealous. I was about ready to punch that guy last night."

He snorted. "Wasn't the nicest guy, I'll be honest. Bit touchy."

"Looked it."

"You wanted to kill him, didn't you?"

"Just a bit. Gods, I don't know what the fuck you've done to me, but I completely stopped working last night. You melted my brain into a puddle of sappy thoughts."

Michael laughed at that, but Jake had noticed a new camper, roughly their age, quite clearly checking Michael out with a smirk. He muttered something to his buddy, and then they were both staring at the son of Apollo and oh, Jake felt the possessive urges return. He just about managed to keep a cap on it, but Michael saw right through him and snickered, nudging the son of Hephaestus teasingly. "You alright there, Tool Boy?"

"No." He growled.

"And why's that?"

"Because there's about five other people checking you out here, and it's pissing me off."

"What are you going to do about it?"

He turned and saw the son of Apollo grinning at him innocently, and Jake sighed heavily, knowing the archer had got his way quite easily here, but he couldn't bring himself to care too much.

"Jackass." He muttered as he leant forwards, and Michael laughed as they kissed. It wasn't as long as Jake would have liked, considering there were about ten little kids in view, but it certainly did the job as Jake spotted several shocked or annoyed looks when they pulled away, much to his amusement. Michael snickered, and the son of Hephaestus hummed, gently grabbing the smaller boy and pulling him onto his lap before he could protest. Michael smirked, leaning back to look at him as Jake wound his arms around the archer's waist protectively, and Jake shrugged, smiling.

"Someone feeling a bit possessive?" The son of Apollo teased, grinning, and Jake hummed, watching the guys that had been checking Michael out huff and walk away, rolling their eyes. Good.

"Possibly. You're absolutely fucking beautiful." He murmured, resting his head on the smaller boy's shoulder, and Michael blushed brightly, but smiled.

"Does that mean I should borrow my sister's clothes more often?" He smirked, and Jake huffed.

"If you want me worked up into a complete mess on a daily basis." He grumbled, moving his hands to hold his boyfriend's waist, rubbing his thumbs along the other's sides and tracing his curves. "I'm glad you're embracing this, though."

Michael shrugged, humming and leaning into the son of Hephaestus' touch. "I thought over what you said. And then Carly walked in when I was changing and completely

freaked and made me play dress up with her and Kayla."

Jake snickered. "You enjoyed it, didn't you?"

"Hm." He shrugged. "Carly supposedly figured out what my best colour is or some shit. And apparently Kayla had wanted to put me in a bunch of random different outfits for a while now, so she loved it."

Jake smirked. On the one hand, it was hard to imagine Michael willingly playing dress up with his sisters, but on the other hand he knew the son of Apollo would do anything to see his siblings smile, so it wasn't all that surprising. "And what did Carly say your best colour was?"

"Green, apparently."

"Do you even own anything green?"

"Nope. I have no idea how she figured that out, but she made me wear a green shirt and... yeah, I kinda see her point."

Jake raised an eyebrow at that. Michael was never one to ever think he looked good in anything, particularly with his history with his body, but if he thought he looked decent in green... That was interesting. He wondered what magic Carly had done to make the son of Apollo like wearing something.

"Interesting. Is that another thing that's likely to make my brain fry?"

Michael snickered. "Yeah, probably."

"I'm happy you think it looks good on you." He grinned, pressing a kiss to the smaller boy's jaw, and Michael blushed.

"Shut up."

"Nope." He smirked, pressing another kiss to his boyfriend's jawline. "You're beautiful, and perfect, and amazing, and I'm the luckiest person ever because I get to date you and those losers don't."

Michael blushed brightly, his ears tinting red, and Jake grinned, amused by the reaction. Michael rolled his eyes, but kissed him anyway. "You're such a sap."

"You love it."

"Shut up."

~~

Jake frowned as he walked past the Apollo table at breakfast, noting Michael wasn't there, and looked at Lee in confusion. The older son of Apollo grimaced.

"He's back in the cabin. Not feeling well."

That made Jake frown. Michael rarely got sick- and never that badly either- it was a side effect of being the son of the god of sickness, so either Lee was lying, or his boyfriend was embarrassed and hadn't given his brother the true reason for why he was staying inside.

Jake popped in the Apollo cabin after breakfast to check on him, and found Michael curled up in a pile of blankets on his bed, holding his stomach and looking absolutely miserable. Jake walked over and carefully climbed the ladder, sitting next to the archer, and Michael looked at him for a minute, then sighed. "I'm fine, don't worry."

Jake raised an eyebrow. "If you were fine, you'd be outside. What's up?"

Michael huffed. "It's just- ugh." He winced, leaning forward slightly and wrapping his arms tighter around his waist in pain. Jake looked at him in concern.

"What is it? Why are you...?"

His boyfriend groaned quietly, head now on his knees as he rocked back and forth slightly.

"Nothing. Just..." He sighed. "Cramps."

"What, like stomach cramps, or- oh." Understanding dawned on the son of Hephaestus, and Michael groaned again, nodding.

"Yeah, fucking period cramps. Shit."

"Bad?"

"Really bad. I couldn't walk earlier. Lee did a scan and told me there wasn't much he could do, I just have to wait it out. Fuck-" He groaned again, cursing. "Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck."

Jake winced, then looked around the cabin, searching for something. He hummed when he spotted what he was looking for, climbing down off the bed and walking over to grab a beanbag stuffed parrot. He wasn't sure whose it was, but he knew it was microwaveable, and that's all that mattered. He walked over to the small microwave they kept in the corner of cabin seven, used for reheating things or making hot packs for injuries, and plopped the parrot inside, pressing start. Michael looked at him in confusion.

"What are you doing?"

He shrugged. "Nyssa uses a hot water bottle to combat hers. Figured a parrot might work the same."

Michael raised an eyebrow. "You're microwaving Carly's parrot?"

"Mhm. The bean filled ones are like hot packs, just covered in fluff. Harls has a dragon one that Niss steals every so often."

The microwave beeped, and he pulled the parrot out, now very warm, and walked back over to Michael's bed, climbing up and flopping down next to the son of Apollo, passing him the parrot.

"Try it."

Michael looked at it. "What, I just hold it?" Jake smirked.

"No, you put it where it hurts, dummy."

"Oh. Right."

Michael took the parrot and placed it just below his stomach, curling back up again and humming happily. Jake smiled. "Better?"

"Yeah, actually. Thanks."

"Anytime. I am gonna get you a beanbag animal now, though. I don't want Carly to kill me for stealing hers."

Michael rolled his eyes. "I can get one myself, you know."

Jake smirked. "Where's the fun in that?"

Michael elbowed him and he snickered, then looked up as the door to the Apollo cabin opened and the rest of Michael's siblings walked in, not even noticing Jake and Michael until Sam turned and spotted them, grinning and placing his hands on his hips. "Mason. Are you trying to make a move on my brother?"

Michael rolled his eyes as Jake blushed. "No, dumbass."

"Oh, really?" Carly grinned. Jake smiled.

"I borrowed your parrot for Michael's cramps, hope you don't mind."

She looked at him for a minute, then smirked. "Ah, you're here on boyfriend duties. I see. It's fine, I use it for that anyway."

Michael huffed, and Ellie smiled, walking over and reaching up to ruffle his hair teasingly.

"Feeling better than earlier?"

He sighed. "Ish."

"Are they like, a stomach ache, or more like someone stabbing you?" Austin asked casually, flopping backwards onto his bed, and Lee suddenly grinned, moving to rummage through a cupboard in the back of the cabin.

"Why don't you try it?"

Kayla looked at him. "Sorry?"

"We have a machine that replicates the pain of a period cramp, because I convinced Chiron it could be useful for teaching people about why they are a valid excuse to skip on things."

Jake snorted. "To teach the Ares cabin, you mean?" Lee shrugged and Ellie hummed.

"Not Clarisse. She gets them bad."

Lee suddenly pulled a box out of the cupboard, blowing the dust off and smiling. "There it is. It has different settings, so why don't we get the people that experience them to put up their normal setting for the rest of us to try?"

Carly smirked. "Sure. I'll go first."

Lee explained how it worked; putting a pair of pads just below your stomach under your shirt and turning the knob up a notch at a time to reach the average pain scale. Carly hummed and placed the pads below her stomach, then turned the dial up slightly. She continued for a few notches until she started wincing, then stopped. "Five."

Kayla snatched it next, placing the pads on herself instead and turning up the dial until it hit her average and she winced. "Yeah, five."

Ellie was an eight, and Michael said that apparently he'd reached a break in his cramps, so he'd give it a go. The son of Apollo scrunched his face up as he turned the dial, flitting straight past five and eight, up to ten. There were fifteen notches on the scale, and Ellie stared at him as he grimaced in pain, taking the pads off quickly. “Ten.”

“Ten??”

He winced. “Yeah.”

Austin wandered over, picking it up off Michael’s bunk and walking over to Lee. “Can I try?”

Lee smiled at him, gesturing for his little brother to sit beside him on the bed as he talked him through it. Austin made it to a four, and he winced, looking at Kayla.

“Yeah, I see your point.”

She hummed, nodding, and Ash grabbed the machine next, him and Sam sitting on Sam’s bunk and messing with it for a bit. Ash made it to seven, grimacing, and Sam looked at Jake quickly. “Do you want to go next?”

Michael snickered. “Give it to Jake last in case he blows it up.”

Jake looked at him. “Seriously? I’m not that bad.”

“Jake, I’m surprised you haven’t seriously injured yourself yet with the amount of things you’ve accidentally blown up this month.”

“Harsh.”

Ash snorted, passing the device to Sam. “Just take it while they argue like an old married couple.”

“Hey!”

“Michael, he’s not wrong.” Kayla grinned, and Michael rolled his eyes, flipping his sister off and ignoring Lee’s dirty look at the action. Sam made it to eight, and Will got to six, then it was passed to Jake. He frowned as he turned it on, quickly noticing a problem with the electronics, and the rest of the room snickered as he pulled a screwdriver and a pair of pliers out of his pocket and quickly started fixing the problem, because it would annoy him if he didn’t. Michael grinned, taking advantage of his distraction, and flicked the dial straight up to ten. Jake yelped, doubling over in pain, and a small explosion occurred, blowing up the device. He sighed heavily and sat back up after a moment, glaring daggers at his boyfriend, who smiled back innocently, nodding to the machine.

“I think there’s something else for you to fix now.”

Jake huffed, swatting him on the head. “Jackass.”

“Language!”

“I thought you weren’t allowed to do that for me because you have no responsibility over me?” He smirked, ignoring the rest of Michael’s siblings laughing at the blown up device while Lee raised an eyebrow at the son of Hephaestus. Carly snorted.

“You’ve basically become an extra sibling at this point, you’re in here that often. Plus,” She grinned. “Brother in law counts, doesn’t it?”

Both Michael and Jake immediately blushed scarlet, and Michael waved his hands at his sister, scowling. “Slow down a bit, for fuck’s sake.”

“Language!”

“Fuck off!”

Kayla snickered. “Dibs on first speech at their wedding.”

Jake groaned as Will snickered. “Oh, come on-”

“When’s the date? Gotta get my suit ready.”

“Will, I will pin you to an archery target.”

“You can’t even move right now.”

“Won’t fucking stop me.”

“Language!”

“Piss off Lee!”

“Fine, but I’m walking you down the aisle.”

“Lee!” Jake groaned again, ignoring Lee’s teasing smirk. “Don’t encourage them! We’re fifteen and sixteen!”

“Oh yeah, you’re a pervert.” Carly nodded. “Preying on someone younger than you.”

Michael burst into laughter as Jake looked at the daughter of Apollo. “Carly, what the heck? I’m five months older, not fifteen years.”

“You never know.”

He scoffed. “You never know- yes, because I look like I’m thirty, clearly.” Michael was in fits of laughter, and Jake huffed, picking up the device and hopping off his boyfriend’s bunk, walking out the cabin and rolling his eyes at the teasing smirks. “Goodbye, I’m going to fix your machine. Michael, you better eat lunch.”

“Ooh, Mikey, you’ve been called out for starving.”

“Starving?? Bitch, how many meals do you think I’ve missed?”

“Language!”

“OH MY GOD I’M FIFTEEN!”

“AUSTIN’S ELEVEN!”

Jake snickered as he closed the door behind him, listening to the group bicker between themselves. Some things never changed.

[strwberri-milk]

Something like Taylor Swift's goldrush haha, I'm sorry for not clarifying

okay thank you yes i love. tragically beautiful characters and the PINING??? insane just a reminder this is w diluc and kaeya x reader who is gold rush coded (so for me, kaeya and diluc fantasizing being w this tragically beautiful character and just. giving up bc their own reservations prevent them from pursuing you) so!! one sided pining uwu just mainly bc looking at the lyrics i was struck by,,,the pining but if you wanted to s/o feel free to send the request in again if you feel like this wasn't enough for you!!

Diluc has met many beautiful people growing up. Being the son of a very successful wine tycoon made it pretty easy to meet such a wide variety of people, especially when everyone wants your hand in marriage for the power and status you hold. That, plus his being a beautiful child who grew into a handsome man made him even more desirable.

All of this is to say that he never expected to be taken aback by someone like you. You were beautiful, sure but it wasn't just the way you looked. It was the way you carried yourself, the attention you commanded in the room just by existing, and the kindness he could see you exuded.

He didn't typically feel too strongly towards people he didn't know, wanting time to grow into any feelings he might have but you stole his attention from the second he met you. He couldn't help but stand off to the side, watching you from a distance.

That's how it always was with you. He'd watch people come up to you, glide around, and disappear into the throng of your admirers. You acted as though you had no idea that they wanted you so badly, smiling softly at any sort of attention they give you.

No matter who it was, you always seemed so untouchable. Nobody could reach you - you lived in your own world. People could only hope to orbit around you before returning to Earth, utterly disappointed that you couldn't be theirs.

Diluc was content like this. He couldn't imagine trying to breach the world you lived in, finding his joy in simply being around you. He loves you, he's sure of that but he isn't ready to be with someone like you. He wouldn't be able to keep up with those who adore you, unable to give you the attention you deserve with all the work he does.

No, he couldn't do that to you. He couldn't keep something as precious as you all to himself when he couldn't give you the world on a silver platter as a casual gift when you want it. He'll make his peace loving you just like this, fantasizing about being yours for the rest of his nights.

If, somehow he managed to get over himself and somehow managed to get you in his arms you would be loved forever. Diluc trusts you with anything and everything and no matter what people said to you it would never stop his feelings for you. He would do his best to become a better person for you,knowing that his life is totally unsustainable if he wants to keep you in it.

Kaeya demands attention. That is fact. He is effervescent, the life of the party, and just someone people want to be around. This made it easy for him to meet you one day at a function, smoothly introducing himself to you with a kiss pressed to the back of your hand.

You were spellbinding, drawing his attention from the moment you walked in. He knew he was one of many who was looking at you, but he felt that maybe, he might have a chance with you.

But, when you talked to him he realised immediately you were too good for him. You wouldn't, no, shouldn't love someone like him. He was dirty, a liar, just everything that would tarnish someone like you. Even if he thinks he's in love with you just from a short glance, he knows he can never do anything to move things along.

Instead, he'll spend his time thinking about you. Thinking about a life you could have together, one where he could be himself around you without worrying about what that would mean for you. The two of you somehow became friends, which he thinks hurts even more.

It hurts him to be so close to you without being able to confess his feelings, constantly shoving them down his throat to keep them buried in his chest. He loves just being around you for now, ignoring the bite of jealousy that rises up when people try to steal you from him.

Eventually, he decides that being around you hurts too much. His mind played dirty tricks on him, making him think that his feelings for you are somehow returned. He tells you kindly that he doesn't think your relationship can continue, wanting to at least give you a definitive answer as to why your friend was suddenly abandoning you.

He'll still be there for you if you need him to be, but he can't seek you out anymore. He didn't even let himself daydream about you, trying to push out any thoughts of you away to ignore the dull ache in his chest. Loving you is something he knows he'll always do, and staying away from you was how he showed that devotion to you.

If you decide to confront him, you'll need to confess to him your feelings. If he doesn't know you love him too he will never go back to you. Once your feelings are out there in the open he spends a lot of time just coming to terms with them, understanding that for whatever reason it was, you chose him. He'd spend the rest of your lives making sure you never live to regret that decision, holding you tightly until the day you leave.

[hawkogurl]

I'll probably have more to say about this later bc I'm going to sleep soon, but I feel like, you, oliveroctavius, me, and a few other people are like the small minority I've seen anywhere who actually criticize TASM for the eugenics and ableism, and it honestly floors me that no one talks about it when it's so blatant and tumblr loves bringing up disability and ableism otherwise? Like, it's not even a case of how everyone has valid differing opinions and needs/wants when it comes to how the vast range of disabled experiences should be approached in fiction and there's nuance in how to do even tricky, but real experiences like grief and loss - we're talking about a film series where an antagonist meant to be sympathetic makes a speech about disability being a weakness of humanity that must be genetically eradicated to strengthen it (which is never deconstructed or challenged) and has no other characterization beyond sad amputee whose only interest for a decade is his missing arm, and where Peter is some kind of genetic chosen one whose Good Genes give him cool powers, and the whole mess with Harry.

The few other times on tumblr I've seen it brought up is to like, woobify (internalized) ableism even though the films go way beyond realistic personal struggle and straight into eugenics, and as someone with a Lizard niche in the Spidey fandom, I'm floored at how everywhere else, I keep seeing the TASM version of the character topping best adaptation discussions by a huge margin compared to way better takes with zero references of the ableism (this was not the case even a few years ago, idk what happened), and you can correct me on this if I'm wrong bc you would know more about the Harry side of things than me, but I feel like TASM!Harry used to be very popular and be moved, at least until MSM2017 and Insomniac came along.

Hi sorry my brother just graduated college. Anyways, in regards to the Harry side of things, I think a lot of the ableism SHOULD be pretty obvious, but apparently it’s not considering how little critical thought there is with all these villains. There’s the good genes bad genes eugenics of Harry wanting Peter’s blood to cure himself and then it doesn’t work because the spider only worked with Peter’s “good genes” (I don’t care about their in canon excuse, it still buys into this trope) and it reacted so badly with the TERMINALLY ILL CHARACTERS “bad genes” that he turned crazy and evil. And that’s ignoring my general distaste for disability or “insanity” being used primarily as a source of fear for the good, noble, and of course able bodied protagonists.

Something that’s also pretty weird that nobody mentions is the fact that like, Electro in these movies just HAD to talk to nothing. Normally it wouldn’t bother me as much or I might be willing to give it a pass, but it’s these movies, which just love to make their disdain for disabled people clear, so it comes off as super bad taste.

Like… I’m only scratching the surface. Why are there three people who consistently point out how ableist these movies are? Especially when as you said, tasm Harry is pretty popular! Ignoring my beef with him as a Harry Osborn, it’s so odd to me because so much of that is either like, sort of romanticizing his chronic illness and breakdown or getting off on that ableist insanity I mentioned earlier.

And when you bring it up, people get SUPER defensive. I don’t know if like, the amount of invalid criticism just makes people defensive or if it makes people think there’s NO valid criticism but like… these movies aren’t bad for the reasons you think. The issues they have are like… the writing saying that eugenics is cool and fun alongside generally iffy writing.

[stxrvel]

greatest fear (3)

series summary: you woke up from a long coma with no memory of a part of your life only to be told by your teammates that you're married to the man you hated seven years ago. even though that seemed to be the only problem, as time goes on you're realizing there's a lot more history and mystery behind the accident that left you in medical care for months. blackouts, more memory loss, mistrust and a strange man who seems to be connected to everything. every day it gets harder to trust anyone around you, but you won't stop until you can finally uncover the truth behind the accident.

chapter summary: bucky has to learn to deal with the fact that things don't always work out the way we want them to.

pairing: bucky barnes x f!reader

words: +5k i think

warnings: none? angst, that's for sure

note: hello!!! i think it's been almost a month? but better late than never. this didn't came out like i wanted at all, but i'm still gonna publish it bc i don't dislike it that much. i probably could've approach the subject way better. maybe i'll edit this someday. anyway, i do hope you all like this and give it some love 💜 i'll try to keep it up to get you guys pt 4 sooner, but i don't promise anything. feedback is always appreciate!! thank u all!!

masterlist | next | series masterlist

Everyone already knew Bucky's greatest fear. He had spent years being untouchable, seemingly the only person on the team who wasn't afraid of anything, not even living on the edge. They had spent years getting used to seeing the inscrutable face of an emotionless man. And they'd spent years thinking that was never going to change. To be honest, Bucky believed the same thing. As he resumed his “normal”, ordinary life, he felt that there was nothing he hadn't experienced before and that, because of that, there was nothing that could really hurt him. So why bother worrying about anything, why be afraid in the first place?

Bucky used to be an unflappable person. Even after meeting you, after confessing his feelings for you, after knowing that you might be a weak spot, Bucky still thought he wasn't afraid of anything. What's more, with you by his side he considered himself an invincible person. Unreachable. The people around him saw him as so sure of himself that they never once doubted that he could be the most fearless man in the world.

Until you had the accident.

Bucky began to see the world in dark colors. He had been afraid, yes, he had said so many times. But he was also struck by how close he had come to going insane. The people around him had ceased to view him with respect, but with concern. He had never allowed himself to be seen that way, because even if he had ever felt in a similar way, he had never been as strong as he was that time. He was at a point of vulnerability that was almost incomparable to anything that had happened in his life before.

The level of despair and stress he was dealing with from the moment he found out about your accident until months later when he knew how to manage his emotions, he couldn't quantify it in a rational way.

And the people around him were sympathetic, but he still hated that he had let himself be seen that way. The quivering mess he'd become since he found out about it haunted him like a symphony echoing in his head on the highest note. Sometimes it wouldn't let him think, wouldn't let him remember, wouldn't let him live. Even being there in a room with you, there was nothing but a din of incongruous notes crashing against each other, without any harmony, without any order.

At other times there was silence. A deafening silence sometimes accompanied by a beeping that increased as the minutes progressed. The voices were echoes and the images were blurred figures in the distance. There was nothing else in his head but space to process the silence.

Everyone knew Bucky's biggest fear, and it had caused him some long-term problems that he still didn't know how to handle. Since everyone knew that, he was no longer the fearless Bucky, the most daring person. Now he seemed to be perceived as a walking time bomb, even though he seemed to be the one who handled the situation the best… well, not from the beginning, but he learned to cope.

He hated that that stage of vulnerability had become so embedded in the memories of others that it was now the only thing they evoked when they thought of him. He hated that consideration. As much as he wanted and appreciated the support, he hated when it came from regret. From condescension. Of the wary glances. Like tiptoeing around him in fear that he would explode at any moment.

That was how Bucky felt at that moment. With everyone watching him around him, thinking that at any moment he would freak out and start screaming at each of them.

“She's okay now,” Bucky heard Natasha's voice flooding the room that had become the recipient of an imperturbably uncomfortable silence. Her voice was neutral, calm and patient, like the others', even though their faces showed incomparable chagrin.

Bucky let out a long sigh and let his gaze fall on any object in that room.

The rain was lashing hard against the city that day. The drops bounced off the large window and fell swiftly towards the end of their ephemeral life where gravity used to drag them down. The cold crept into the building through every crevice it could find, as if seeking any refuge from itself within the warmth of the human structure.

Bucky didn't plan to ever feel fear again.

He was constantly surrounded by worry, but tried to reassure himself that you were in a safe place surrounded by people who were willing to protect you. Until Steve appeared running down the hallway of the rooms shouting his name, and then yours, and then named Dr. Cho. A peculiar combination of words but they were enough to push him over the edge.

He had never run so fast from one end of the building to the other since that fateful day.

Memories slipped as fast in front of his eyes as raindrops did that day, swept away by the restlessness of his mind surrounding almost possible catastrophic scenario. Bucky knew he shouldn't do that, but telling him not to was like going against nature.

The worst part was that he couldn't see you as soon as he got to the medical wing of the Complex. He could barely make you out through the glass doors.

And so hours went by.

Bucky stayed in the next room waiting for some news, when one by one the others began to arrive.

Near midnight Natasha appeared and finally gave him good news.

“They stabilized her and are now waiting for the drugs to take effect.”

Bucky nodded at her words and the vibe in the room finally changed. Sighs of relief and comforting words leapt into full view, but Natasha didn't take her eyes off Bucky.

“What happened to her?” he finally dared to ask, though he knew the answer the moment the redhead entered the room.

“They still don't know. One moment they thought it was cardiac arrest, then a stroke, then she had seizures. But finally she was just… still. At some point she regained consciousness and said her whole body hurt. The doctor gave her some medication and now she sleeps. All her vitals are fine, like nothing ever happened.”

Bucky was not thinking clearly. He had understood every single word that came out of Natasha's mouth, but he couldn't pin his thoughts down to a single idea. His mind was conjecturing at an incomprehensible speed and it was causing him severe irritability that he couldn't come up with a solution.

“Did she say anything else?”

“No.”

“Okay. Thank you.”

--

It had been six hours when you woke up. Bucky had settled into a chair in the corner of the room, not too far or too close to where you were lying, and was trying to get some sleep, but worry wouldn't leave him. Steve accompanied him for a while before he had to leave on a mission, and Natasha stopped by at some point to drop off something to eat before leaving, just like Steve, on a mission. After that, he must have spent about two hours trying to fall asleep, but it seemed an impossible task. The constant sound of the machine monitoring your heart kept him unconsciously aware of his surroundings. And, even if there were no external stimuli to keep him awake, his mind would have done so. The fear, the panic, the hopelessness…. He almost feared that you would never even wake up again.

His body almost reacted to your movements because he opened his eyes just as you were beginning to move on the gurney.

“Y/N?”

Rising from the chair, he began to slowly approach you, even though his body was begging him to run to your side and wrap you in his arms. He watched you move one of your arms to cover your eyes for a moment, before focusing your gaze on his.

Your frown did not bring him good news.

“Where am I?”

Finally reaching where you were, Bucky pressed the button on the side of the gurney to call the doctor, his heart heavy and aching. That those were the first words out of your mouth should have made him understand what had happened, and in a matter of seconds the limbs of his body shook with a shudder. But it couldn't be like that, he couldn't go through that again. Bucky was not in the capacity to go through that again.

He was promptly convinced otherwise and focused on your confused expression.

“You're at the Avengers Complex in Washington.”

“What do I do…?”

“You were in an accident. You lost consciousness for several hours.”

The dazed expression on your face didn't change and Bucky's nerves ascended with each passing second. The words came out of his mouth as an automatic response and your face contracted taking in the reality, but you didn't seem to make peace with understanding. The few things Bucky had told you seemed to only worsen your state of confusion.

“Do you know what day it is?”

When you shook your head, Bucky felt a cold chill run through him as if he were standing in the middle of a heavy snowfall. The fear he had deprived himself of and had almost prayed he would never feel again was making its way through his mind and body, and if he didn't stay calm things were not going to go well.

“It's November fourth of the year 2023. Do you remember anything about this year?”

You shook your head again. Your expression was starting to change from confusion to fear and Bucky knew he had to do something soon to keep you from being consumed by the feeling.

“No… No, I don't understand… what's going on. It's like my head is totally black. There's no-I don't see…”

Your distressed gaze met Bucky's and your bewilderment bordering on concern caused a pang in his heart. He felt like he could die of a broken heart at that moment. He didn't know what the look on his face was, but he knew it must not be as neutral as he wanted it to be because somehow he had to let out the feeling that was choking him at that moment. It seemed like that look Bucky had on his face gave your tears permission to start bulging in your eyes.

“I can't remember anything. At all,” you sobbed. “I don't know what I'm doing here. I don't remember what happened. I don't remember who-”

Bucky watched your eyes move around the room and noticed how you clenched your hands on the sheet. Your breathing becoming ragged confirmed to him that you were about to have a panic attack. Of all the times he had done it before, he automatically reached out to you and took your hands in his. He swallowed the feeling that wanted to overpower him and the hopelessness in a second. He couldn't leave you in that situation at that moment. Your glassy, big eyes turned to his.

“You're okay right now, okay?” with your eyes locked on his, still breathing erratically and your heart about to burst, you nodded slightly. “Okay, then breathe with me and then we'll talk again.”

Bucky took a deep breath, lifting his shoulders and not taking his eyes off yours to urge you to mimic him. He stayed in that position until you did the same, taking a shaky breath and tightening your fingers around his hand. The tears wouldn't stop coming and the sight almost made him cower in the corner of his head to cry with you.

“Now let the air out of your mouth slowly.”

Exemplifying your words, Bucky let the air out and you mimicked him next, still not letting go of the trembling.

Bucky took another deep breath and you followed suit, expelling the air once he did.

Like that, again and again.

And again.

And again.

Until you could only stare into his blue eyes without a single thought in your head.

“Feeling better?”

You nodded without a word.

Bucky could notice your lowered shoulders and the few tears on your red cheeks, so he ventured to let go of your hands. He didn't let it go unnoticed the way your eyes parted from his, after so long, to observe the place where your hands were joined. You intertwined your own hands and let out a sigh. Bucky had to swallow again the feeling and the urge to move closer. It made him angry inside because he thought he had already learned how to handle the distance and because he didn't think he would have to go through such a scenario again, but life is full of surprises.

“I understand that you're scared and worried, okay? But I want you to try to stay calm for a while while Dr. Cho asks you some questions and runs some tests, are you okay with that?”

Bucky watched as you shook your head as he pointed behind him to where there were two women standing in the door frame who he had heard enter a few minutes ago, but didn't acknowledge their arrival until you were calm and willing. He was dying to know what had been going through your head as you cocked it and frowned slightly watching the women.

“Yes,” you barely mumbled, but Bucky could hear you perfectly. He could hear you even in any kind of crowd.

With a heaviness in his soul, Bucky got up from the gurney and gave Dr. Cho and the nurse, Christina, room to pass.

He took a few more steps away, until he was near the door, and it weighed on him to see how your eyes did not leave his figure. He didn't know whether to leave or to stay there waiting for them to finish. He didn't want to leave you alone, that was clear, but the pressure in his chest grew stronger with each passing second, and he wasn't sure he could stay any longer if you kept looking at him like that. Like he was the only person in the room, like he was the only person who mattered, like he was someone you remembered… but you don't. You don't remember him. Not anymore.

--

Bucky found himself wandering around the Complex until he decided to settle on the rooftop. He thought that spending that time alone wouldn't do him much good because his mind would replay over and over again the moment when you had that frightened expression on your face again, and then he wouldn't have time to try to calm down and regain his composure. And he did. For a few minutes.

Bucky let his mind snap. The tension building up on his shoulders was too much, and if he didn't let it out, he feared it would explode inside him. He was thankful to be alone at that moment because he didn't like to cry around people. Not just crying, but expressing too much in general.

At that moment he was crying not only for his suffering, but for yours. Because more than not wanting to go through it himself, he had to think about what you must be feeling and thinking, being in a completely foreign environment and with strangers proclaiming to know you more than you know yourself. Bucky hated the thought of you having to go through that again, even if you didn't remember the first time. Bucky was crying on that rooftop because once again life had robbed you of the well-being you deserved, because you could no longer spend a moment fully aware of yourself.

More than his pain, Bucky ached to think of yours.

And what could he do about it? Nothing. Just like last time.

He didn't know how long he'd been there, arms resting on the edge of the rooftop overlooking the green field around Complex. He only knew it was around noon when Tony Stark opened the door behind him.

“You must be hungry,” was the first thing the man behind him said, trying to lighten the tense mood that must have been surrounding Bucky at that moment. But no, he didn't have time to think about mundane things.

“Not really.”

A silence settled and he knew Tony must be weighing whether or not it had been a good idea to show up there knowing he was alone. Bucky really didn't mean to be hostile, he just felt too much anger and rage against life and the universe inside his body that he wanted to get out somehow. It wasn't the right thing to do, of course, and he was trying to control himself, but he didn't deny that it would be difficult.

“I'll leave it here, anyway. Just in case.”

Bucky caught the sound of the bag and then the sound of Tony's shoes that weren't moving away but coming closer.

“Thanks.”

“It's the least I could do.”

“And you didn't have to. I was almost going down anyway.”

Tony snorted, moving closer to the wall where Bucky was leaning.

“Surely you don't even know what time it is.”

“Surely,” Bucky agreed, nodding.

Both men took a detailed look at the trees stretching a long distance away in an oddly comfortable silence.

“Did Dr. Cho say anything?”

Tony turned to watch him, and stood for a moment pondering what to say.

“Everything's fine. She ran several tests, but everything came back fine.”

“Everything's fine except her memories are gone again.”

“She thinks it may be some kind of condition left in her brain after the accident.”

“It's been over a year now, Tony.”

“I know. They're exploring every alternative.”

Bucky nodded, getting a bitter feeling in his mouth. He knew he should be grateful you were alive, but damn, did you have to go through all that?

“How's she doing?”

“She's looking good. She hit it off real quick with Christina and was eating with Clint when I came out.”

“And she's eating well?”

“Yeah, the usual.”

Bucky nodded again. Maybe he should come back, stay with you for a while and talk about some things; anything. But every time he thought about going back he felt that tug in his chest that made him recoil from any progress. He didn't want the situation to overcome him, but he was losing the battle.

“Barnes, I wanted to tell you-”

“Tony, it's not necessary.”

“It is, especially at this time.”

“No, it's not,” Bucky spat, shifting his body to stare at the mechanic. “Especially right now, it's not.”

The man pursed his lips and Bucky turned away to look at the lunch that should have been inside the white bag on the table.

“I just wanted to say I'm sorry. For everything. That was it.”

Bucky turned to look at the man who had settled in the same way, both of them with their backs to the green field. Bucky sighed, and knowing Tony he knew he couldn't leave without having his conversation. But maybe that would do him good. It had been months since he'd last talked to anyone about that situation.

“There was no way to foresee it, you know that.”

Out of the corner of his eye, Bucky watched the man shake his head as he did every time someone gave him a similar comment. He just wouldn't accept it.

“I could have been more vigilant, you know? I've spent my life trying to learn from my mistakes, trying to take care of the people in my charge, trying to do my best to keep everyone safe. I still don't understand how… How I could have made that mistake.”

“We were dealing with something bigger than ourselves. I think, even if you had gone all out, there couldn't have been any other ending. And believe me when I tell you I'm the person who would have wanted another ending.”

Bucky crossed his arms over his chest with his eyes on the rooftop floor. His mind roamed over those memories he tried not to return to under any circumstances, and he allowed it only because he couldn't deal with that situation any other way.

“I had to have tried.”

“Tony, I know you did your best. And I also know that after everything that happened you asked FRIDAY a thousand times if there would have been another chance to have avoided what happened. Did you have an answer?”

Tony didn't answer.

“Then it doesn't make sense for you to blame yourself for something you simply couldn't have controlled. I guess that's the way things were supposed to be.”

“It's unfair.”

“Life isn't fair to anyone.”

Bucky stepped away from the wall and reached over to take the bag Tony had brought him. “Thanks for this.”

And without further ado, he walked into the building once more.

--

From outside, Bucky watched you talking animatedly with Clint and Carol. Dr. Cho had told him that, although she had not yet been able to find the reason why you had lost your memories again, you were in perfect health. Bucky wanted to punch a wall, but settled for thanking her for looking out for you.

The day had gotten extremely long and he had only spent a quarter of it with you. It was already dusk and he had barely mustered the strength to come see you. And seeing you there, so giggly and happy, made him question whether he should come in and ruin all the fun. He knew his face was a jumble of a hundred emotions that he still couldn't quite control, because even seeing you caused him a sharp pain in his heart that he couldn't tolerate. So he didn't know if going in looking like that was the best choice.

But before he could weigh it further, your gaze met his through the masses of air, and his breath hitched for a few seconds.

The look of recognition you gave him brought a sense of warmth to his body. It was like wiping a damp cloth over his bruised heart. Bucky knew you didn't remember him, but that in such a short time you could give him that kind of look meant too much to him. Your face looked much more serene than the last time you had seen each other, and you no longer had so many wires around your body embedded in your skin, from what he could see from a distance.

Maybe it was indeed safe for him to enter.

Act normal, act normal…

“Hi, Bucky!” you greeted him effusively.

Bucky felt his body faint. Halfway through he planted his feet on the ground and watched the other two with you hold back smiles. Well, Clint wasn't so sneaky.

“How's it goig Bucky? Did you enjoy lunch? It was courtesy of Tony for everyone.”

“Yeah,” he replied dryly. He knew Clint was trying to keep his spirits up, but he didn't feel moodily ready to keep talking to other people, just to share a pleasant silence with you.

“Y/N ordered ravioli,” Carol added to the conversation, turning to look at your red face. “And she also ordered your lunch.”

Bucky frowned.

“I'm glad you liked it,” you mumbled in his direction, barely audible but crystal clear to him. His heart flipped, and he hated that his mind was trying to remind him of where he stood. He wanted a small moment of ignorance.

He didn't know what to say other than thank you, so he just stood there in front of them in a very awkward position.

“All right, Y/N, our fun is over.”

“You're leaving already?”

Bucky detailed you looking at Clint as he and Carol stretched to leave. He mentally wondered if it bothered you to be left alone with his presence, if you didn't want them to leave and leave you with him. If you saw him as an annoying, grumpy figure. He wondered if the others had said something to you about him that suddenly made you see him in a less sympathetic or friendly light. He wondered if-

“We have a mission to attend, and we're very punctual,” Carol's voice broke in on Bucky's train of thought.

“As soon as we get back we'll be here. We have a lot of other things to talk about.”

“Okay, have a good one!”

Bucky watched you shake your hand in farewell to the two people who were leaving the room and was surprised at how much your attitude had changed since he saw you after you woke up. But hey, it had been a while since then. Maybe you had been able to make peace with what had happened by now, and they must have told you everything?

“How are you?” Bucky found himself suddenly asking.

“I'm feeling fine. Besides the obvious, I'm not in any more pain. Dr. Cho told me I'll probably be discharged tomorrow.”

“That's good,” the man mused. “And you want to talk? About what happened.”

You made a thoughtful grimace that Bucky found quite tender, but his mind conjured up the times when you'd made similar grimaces in the past and he'd planted a kiss on your mouth. It wasn't a good time to reminisce about things like that, and the twinge in his heart proved him right.

“Not really,” you replied. “Why don't we talk about you?”

“About me?”

“Yes.”

“And what things do you want to talk about me?”

“Well, I was told that our relationship was different from the friendship I had with everyone else, so we can start there.”

“You want to know what kind of relationship we had?”

“Mm-hm.”

“We were married.”

Your eyes expanded in surprise, as if you expected any answer but that one. Which was strange for Bucky because he couldn't conceive of what other kind of relationship you could have besides a friendship.

“Married?”

“Yes.”

“But I don't have any rings,” you mumbled as you held up both hands to look at your fingers, then held them out to him, as if to let him see you weren't lying.

“You don't use it anymore.”

“Why?”

“Well…” Bucky didn't know how far to go with his historical account because he didn't know how much Dr. Cho or the others had told you and he didn't want to saturate you with information either. “What do you know about what happened?”

You took a deep breath and brought your hands to your lap as if you had been waiting for that question. It probably was.

“Dr. Cho told me that I had an accident over a year ago due to which I was in a coma and lost my memory. That a couple of months after being in the hospital I was discharged and came to live here. And that almost two days ago I had some kind of incident that caused me to lose my memory again.”

Bucky was taken aback by the matter-of-fact way you told him all that. The only thing that was going around in his mind was how before you didn't like to mention the subject at all and used to avoid it any way you could unless it was strictly necessary. At that moment it was as if you were telling someone else's story and not your own, because not a hint of emotion could be seen on your face.

“Then why don't I wear the ring?”

Bucky held his frown. This was definitely almost that much of a sharp change to the last few times he interacted with you.

“Hum… You've had it removed since the accident and I gave it to you after some time in the hospital, but I told you that you didn't have to wear it if you didn't want to.”

“Oh, I understand. So I decided not to wear it. And where is it?”

“I don't know. You kept it. Maybe it's somewhere in your room.”

“Right. I'll go look for it when I get back.”

Bucky nodded at your words not really knowing what to say. He didn't know how to act in reason to your behavior. Well, it should be good that it didn't seem to affect you as hard as it did before, but he found it hard to believe that it didn't affect you at all. Could it be that it really was?

He couldn't know for sure, but the calm expression on your face was about to convince him completely. The way you looked like you didn't have a care in the world made him feel much better, and he would definitely battle to make it last much longer.

“Besides that, is there anything else you want to tell me?”

Too many things.

“No.”

You let out a short laugh that bloomed in Bucky's chest.

“Then our relationship boils down to: we were married, and that's it.”

The man shrugged, not really having a clue what else to say about it.

At his gesture, you exhaled with a determined look.

“We were close?”

“Yes.”

“Did we make jokes?”

“Yes. You mostly.”

“It definitely had to be that way. Did we go out on dates often?”

“Yes.”

“Did we argue?”

“Not a lot.”

“Okay. Did we buy each other gifts?”

“Yeah.”

“Aw. Did we live together?”

“Sure.”

“Did we sleep in the same bed?”

“Of course.”

Bucky frowned as you stood for a few seconds in silence, just watching his face.

“We had children?”

The man went blank for a few seconds, only looking into your eyes. He definitely wasn't expecting that question, but it was something that had been on his mind a lot before.

“No.”

“Ah. So, did we travel a lot?”

“Yes, we traveled quite a bit.”

“Excellent!” you smiled genuinely at him, with that kind of smile he loved and that since the accident he had almost never seen. If he had seen it, it hadn't been directed at him. “Then we were a good match.”

Bucky smiled. It was almost an instinct. His mind flashed back to the one memory that at the time didn't cause him sadness: sometime, someday, you had told him that some questions had to be answered in a positive way to know if they had fulfilled their purpose of being a perfect couple. He didn't remember if it was those same questions, but he could make the connection to that memory he had of you at the time. Then, for a second, he allowed himself to enjoy the present. No worries, no sadness. You were alive right there in front of him, in an excellent state of health and, it seemed, a good state of mind. Beyond that, what could he ask for? All that was left for him to do was to make the most of every moment he had.

“Yes, we were a good couple.”

--------

A/N

😶😶😶😶😶

what are we thinking?

Taglist: @cjand10 @yallgotkik @ruffdog921 @coracal @its-just-kayy @pono-pura-vida @vampiresarezombies @kaz11283

[natsmagi]

tbh you should just sexualize your fem Tsumugi more. I'm talking full on fetish hentai style. Put her in the open boob sweater. Have her accidentally flash while leaning fowards. Have her slip and show pantsu. Full kink with no breaks. Please shut these anons up. People trying to police your creativity like it has some sort of reflection on your morals or beliefs. I also wish you would stop answering them? or at least tagging it as anon hate because it's so sad to keep seeing people be so mean to you over and over when most of us just want to enjoy your big brain takes and drawings. Maybe I'm getting parasocial bc I get so sad seeing people hate on your Tsumugi I love her she's just like me fr!!! All that matters is that you enjoy how you draw her and I hope you don't feel pressured to change your headcanons.

HWEISUHRUHKDHG I SHOULDDDDDDDDD I SHOULD UR RIGHT ive been too prudish as of late. need to be insane again. Tbh ive made some art that was made purely bc i am a freak and insane but i feel like its never the art people would expect it to be. And thats really funny to me. like my more explicit stuff is just drawn for fun But if uve ever looked at a drawing of mine and gone "this seems kind of freakish conceptually even though the execution isnt super weird" Well thats probably bc it actually is freakish. sorry. My suggestive art is usually just for the vibes tho i DID also like. yesterday?? discover a twt acc that will sometimes post various lingerie fits SO!! MAYBE ILL DRAW SOME SOON 💪💪

AND AUGHHH I KNOWWWW in the beginning i thought itd be worth replying to people bc i was like "well this is all kind of niche. im sure they have good intentions so we might aswell talk it out" But as things progress its been made clear thats doing me or anyone else no favors. i love having discussions, so i reply to most of my asks! but i do hope that ive made myself clear enough and that we can all just continue doing our own things im sorry to hear its made you sad though!!!!! rest assured its not something that demotivates me, nor is it something that makes me feel i need to change how i draw. i do what i do because i enjoy it! and i know others enjoy it too! i will never be able to appeal to everyone, and that has never been my goal. i like having fun with others though, which is why i enjoy hearing why others might think differently than me!

but yes! i already feel ive said my piece on the whole discourse thing by now and i hate walking in circles, so even if i get negative asks about it i likely wont answer unless i feel its warranted. but! if that does happen, ill be sure to tag it! you can mute "#discourse tag" ahead of time incase i ever end up using it

[tapedsleeves]

it hated that I tried to answer your question with a bunch of links, so a new post it is!

so I can answer some of these!

if you're looking for a prankster, that's Jonathan Marchessault.

He and Fleury were close, but also Marchy is just. A funny, joke-y guy. He once stole/hid guys sticks during practice. He makes weird noises, he is friends with everyone. He never stops talking. if anyone is chirping anyone, it's Marchy. He yapped at ryan lomberg for being short last year during the playoff run. Ryan Lomberg is 5'9" and Marchy is LISTED as 5'9" but if he is that tall i'll eat my fucking hat. He's not that tall. He's short. I also think that this video from the quest for the cup series last year is very indicative of some of the dynamics between Marchy & Jack, and several other guys! Jack comes in looking very nice in a suit, and several guys go "oh jacky!!" Known Marchessault associate Keegan Kolesar snaps his fingers at Jack, while everyone else just laughs. Marchy says that "they want to see your boxers too" and then does the meanest little laugh i love him so much. the mic'd up linked above is really good, even though it's a couple of years old - most of those guys are still here (except smitty & max) and smitty was. absolutely essential to Marchy's development in Vegas. But the part I'm referencing is "I blew it" / "you blew it." Marchy & Keegan often have this hilarious back and forth, they're so witty together, i love them.

If there's a dad of the group it's Mark stone (everyone thought he had kids before he had kids) Petro (alex pietrangelo), and Martini (alec martinez). They have the MOST dad energy.

Martini has this like, really dry kind of cutting sense of humor. This interaction between petro and martini where they talk about sitting next to each other is like. Martini is being SO cutting but with the warmest voice you've ever heard in your entire life. And Petro is saying the nicest things but you KNOW they're sarcastic. the same but coming in from exact opposite approaches.

This video with about half the guys answering the question of "who would you trust to guide you in NYC" is VERY good. Petro says Howie (brett howden) or Martini, but ultimately chooses martini. You can see a lot of things at play here, some of which I'll get to later (i'm lookin at you paul cotter), but you can see: a lot of guys trust Martinez to get them around, because he's just got that. Competent Dad Vibe. Like it might be rocky, but you're gonna get through it. Petro is less "it's gonna get rocky" but still "you're gonna get through it" vibes.

Now Mark: I have to tell you a couple of facts about Mark Stone:

he loves golf. He has no concept of what a "weird" story is. Everyone, to a man, loves him so much. Mark cannot smile on command - he just shows all his teeth. Mark is SO weird. He changes his gloves every period bc he doesn't like his hands to get wet. He tapes his stick into such an abomination (bc he loves golf, seriously, compare his stick handle to a golf club. they are the same). He meowed right before the cup picture to make everyone smile and it worked. Mark Stone is the weirdest dad you've ever met, and he's still somehow really cool. Part of the appeal is that he has No Fucking Clue how or why people love him so much. He gets so hype on the ice, but he is insanely chill off of it. He cringed when they dumped too much beer on him in the cup celebrations. He named his child scarlett. That's right. Scarlett Stone. Red Rocks. He named his kid Red Rocks. The ultimate dad joke. He tells a story about Robin Lehner at a party in his back yard for the end of the year, where Ryan Reaves said that he didn't like snakes. So Robin goes outside to try to bring one up and then Mark had 5 snakes in his pool. Witness a man realize he's telling a story he didn't realize before he was telling it is weird in real time. This is the essence of Mark. I LOVE him.

Ok ok ok so. There's KIND OF a butt to the joke guy? but he's also like. SO beloved? VGK is an incredibly inclusive and accepting group. There's not really like. a clique-ish culture at all - they were so new a couple of years ago that the culture they built is "you're here, welcome, come on in" and never looked back. Everyone who's been traded there has said so.

That being said: it's Paul fucking Cotter.

They love to make fun of him, but in a way where if anyone else made fun of him, they'd beat them up. Paul is. Special. He has a trainer dump water all down his back so he gets the zoomies. In the quest for the cup episode, since he wasn't playing in the final, he told a story before video review about his hole in one with everyone egging / cheering him on. As seen in the above video, nobody trusts paul to find his way out of a paper bag. He stole his HSK captain (brayden Pachal, traded to the flames)'s car keys. Pachal took his car in return. He put boulders in front of the doors of Jack's car so he couldn't get in them. I know both of these facts are in the primer but they're ESSENTIAL to Paul. He's a prankster. He's a doofus. He loves goalies SO MUCH. He's friends with LT, they went on a supervised date. They were in HSK around the same time, and Paul loved doing the shootout, and LT loved doing the shootout so they did extra shootout practice together.

Re: get togethers: i am pretty sure that they all do it at random. Mark will host a big party (referenced above) but since they didn't have a captain for so long, it's just. a shared responsibility. Mark loves feeding people tho. So i wouldn't be surprised if he just. does that.

Re: outings uh. I got no clue. sorry.

Re: Newbies I can answer!! For Noah Hanifin, Mark and a bunch of other guys went to pick him up from the airport, but when Jack was traded to VGK, he was met at the hotel with just the Viva Girls. Mark was met at the airport with the Viva Girls. The Viva girls are the official welcoming party, btw. Everything else is probably who's available / by committee. Hanifin & Hertl got mark bc he was on LTIR. Petro picked up Barbashev i'm pretty sure bc they knew each other from St Louis. Robin took Jack out to eat bc a) he was on LTIR and b) they knew each other from buffalo.

Wild Bill is Marchy's best friend and that's not a joke. Marchy, Karly, Shea (along with Alex Tuch, now in Buffalo and Deryk Engelland, retired) owned a restaurant together. Karly seems quiet, but he's just as funny as Marchy. He loves Star Wars & his dog's name is Obi-Wan.

he danced to abba with his mom

I feel like there's a lot of info about Jack out there, but he really did become uh. More fun in VGK? Now that he's not the guY THE GUY that buffalo expected him to be (connor mcdavid). he proposed the idea of the wig + glasses during the end of the season & post season last year. Jack is SO funny. He loves memes. Idk. I feel like Jack is probably the one Golden Knight that everyone knows the most about and I'm not gonna tread any new ground here.

Shea is just a guy and i love him so much for it. I'm not the best person to ask about it, sorry. He always looks like he's being punished / upset about something except when he's smiling. It's soo cute. When shea took the cup to his house in vancouver, he took pictures of it with his neighbor. VERY sweet guy, very cute.

Logan is VERY CUTE. here he is holding a stick pretending to interview tomas hertl

i LOVE LT. He's got really sick tattoos. He loves shootouts. he and Paul are really good friends.

Chandler Stephenson once said that they had to "just grab our nuts and work." He's very down to earth, very funny. There's a reason why he's my profile pic. I love him so much it's hard to articulate why. Low key. Reasonable. sneaky hilarious.

SO YOU WANT SHIPS ? I can do you some ships:

just a list of ships that i've personally written or considered writing

Alex Pietrangelo / Alec Martinez Paul Cotter / Logan Thompson Jonathan Marchessault / William Karlsson / Reilly Smith Chandler Stephenson / Mark Stone Jack Eichel / Shea Theodore Shea Theodore / Alec Martinez (talk to zimmboniandbitty about this one, i promise) Jack Eichel / Jonathan Marchesault Jack Eichel / Keegan Kolesar Jack Eichel / Mark Stone Logan THompson / Adin Hill Adin Hill / Logan Thompson / Paul Cotter

Literally any combo. If you propose it, i've probably thought about it at least once.