#that does not apply now that we're friends and you fucked me over emotionally like 3 months after we broke up

[sad-ghosts-club]

"I dated you for 3 years I know you" well obviously not if you're complaining that I'm bad at comforting you and being sympathetic when I was also bad at those things while we dated

[highlifeboat]

*kicks down door* So Nikolina and Angel? How'd that happen?

And tell us how it goes horribly, horribly toxic. Lol

(Poor Mel. All that judgement and their mom is just like "My rules/ethics don't apply to me, cause I can find a way to logic leap it to be fine" - like a true abusive parent)

Ah, well, y'know it popped up in discussion with a friend and, like most joke ships, it got a little too real. Now we're here. (I think I mentioned it else where but this is a very human AU centric ship cause.. it's the only timeline they exist in the same space together. Which is probably for the best.)

In universe explanation is that... It initially starts as Angel honestly just wanting to ruin a life. They've never really done the whole "breaking someone down in a relationship" thing, so for them it's like... trying out something new. They aren't really into women at all, but they just kind of picked someone they figured would be an easy target. Gender was irrelevant.

So they find Nikolina, and start worming their way into her life by feigning interest in her and things she likes. Now, believe it or not, Nikolina is not a well liked woman (shocker), so having someone actively taking interest in her is... something. She enjoys the attention Angel gives her, though, and turns out is maybe not as straight as she initially thought. Not that she'd ever admit that.

Now, little side fun fact about Nikolina, her and Melony share a desperate want for love and attention. So Angel "taking interest" in her and giving her that attention does something for her. And all this culminates into their relationship.

Eventually Nikloina introduces Angel to Melony like "This is my partner,. I expect you to give [them] the same respect you do me (this is not an option)". And Melony REALLY wants to know what kind of logic her mother has with this, but she's honestly not sure the argument is worth it.

It's worth noting that while Angel's initially just in it for the fun of breaking someone down, they do eventually find out Melony is with Cassandra. And Angel kind of has a B plot now of getting revenge on the Dimitrescus because Cass and her sisters got them fired a while ago... It's a whole other mess, but it does result in Angel deciding to move in with Niki so it's worth mentioning.

Once they start living together the relationship really seems to take a turn. They argue almost daily, over little things, typically passive aggressively, but it becomes more common for it to become loud fights. But when things are calm, they actually seem.. decent together. Nikolina does develop genuine feelings for Angel, along with an emotional codependency. She does love them, she loves the attention they give her, and it hurts when they're mad at her, but she's still stubborn and does not like to feel in the wrong. So they fight, and Angel threatens to take that love and attention away and Nikolina doesn't want that either. So she apologies.

And while Angel doesn't love Nikolina, they really love the control they have over her. The fact they can do so much damage just by becoming emotionally distant. They don't have to do anything physical to her, just the right string of words will fuck her up. For a woman that presents herself as strong and independent, Angel has to admit getting into her head was not that hard

In some... weird fucked up way, they're both happy. They're getting what they want/need out of this relationship, even if it's fake and they're constantly butting heads.

And Melony just has to witness it all.

She tried once or twice to be a peace keeper and cut their fights before things got too heated, but when it just resulted in her getting yelled at she gave up. She just tries to stay with Cass for as long as she can but there's still some part of her that feels bad leaving her mom in that situation.

Mostly because she does not trust Angel. Like at all. She isn;t sure why yet but they give her the creeps.

[weabooweedwitch]

I mean I guess from my perspective I've already explained myself pretty well, but I've had so many conversations with so many different people at this point that maybe some of it is blurring together. We ARE discussing the possibility of personality disorders that somewhat warp my perception of the truth and as I've said, I've pretty much lost the ability to empathize wirh her at all because, again, I'm constantly expected to put myself on the line for her bssicslly by obligation but when I need some emotional understanding or support, well, I get talked over, I get invalidated, I get mocked.

Oh text Miranda from across the house for a glass of water because you have a headache and emotionally badger her until she does it, but when she's so congested she can barely eat or breathe, let the litterbox literally start molding waiting for her to recover because 'I just don't like how it smells'. Oh, your super depressed daughter who's been physically abused by the husband you barely knew before getting married to is depressed and isn't going to school/doesn't have a job? Better make sure that any time you ask her for anything, if she doesn't feel like it, shove down her throat that she sits at home all day anyways while you're at work, but don't worry, when your daughter is the one working manual labor jobs and you're unemployed sitting on the couch all day, you'll just use AGE as an excuse and still badger and insult her when she's too sore to get out of bed! When I was A CHILD literally falling apart from clear mental illness and literal actual disability, I'm told I need to exercise more, im told "oh you're like a self fulfilling prophecy, it's like you WANT to be this way, it's like you give up and MAKE bad things happen to you" but when she wastes DECADES going to doctors trying to investigate issues that are just symptoms of things she already diagnosed with I'm just the absolute fucking devil for implying the reason why her body aches is because she's been overweight and physically sedentary fir big portions of her life and she barely gets any vitamin D let alone exercise

Oh, I need to apply myself more, oh, I need to have more confidence in myself, oh I need to buy things for myself if I want them, but then I start buying things for my hair and my skin and makeup because I like those things and there are also problems I am legitimately trying to fix and then it's "oh you're overdoing it, oh you're wasting money, oh you're making it worse, oh are you even researching any of this" when she's the one telling me stupid bullshit like "when you shave it grows back thicker, I had a friend in my younger days that was a dermatologist and that was what she said" 🙄

All the times she lost jobs because she just kept oversleeping and oversleeping or quit just because she lost her temper and suddenly we're on foodstamps and going to pantries again. Having to get cars every few years because she treats them poorly and they keep breaking down and then she has to take out loans or make payments to get another shitty car and then she'll forget about older payments until they're being sent to collections and they're coming after her (she literally doesn't answer her phone unless she's expecting a call because she's gotten collections calls for YEARS) and now there's stuff on my credit report because she put shit in my name and forgot about them

I literally keep turning around and there are LISTS of mistakes she had made that have significant and often financial consequences and she does them over and over and over! There were times she was taking out loans to try and get degrees and literally finished none of them. Cosmetology school, TWICE. A community college for idk a computer degree or something, never finished. Something for university of Phoenix, never finished

My public school education was DESTROYED by the constant moving. I had problems brushing my teeth as a kid ao she LIED TO ME and said I had cavities and never told me the truth until YEARS later and by that point I had stopped brushing my teeth BECAUSE OF HER LIE because it made me more depressed and told me everything was pointless.

I guess I'm just a shitty person and I'll never change, idk, I dunno what im supposed to do to fix things. I think I'm beginning to realize I'm just a shitty person who was born wrong and maybe its time I stop burning myself out for everyone else when i still have to fix my ken problems, or, something. I get talked over and invalidated at home, in the past at school, and now as an adult it's at work. It's draining. If no one wants to listen to me then I'll just keep being bitter and shitty on my own terms and just marinate innit until I finally get the stones to take some sort of action, whatever that may be, positive, negative, hopefully a positive change obviously but you never know

I'm so exhausted at this point that sometimes it really is just "shrug shrug guess I don't care anymore". It's not like I want to be this way. I'm trying. To be better. I'm trying to be perfect. And it's just never going to happen.

[mickgaydolenz]

HELLO MY BEAUTIFUL FRIEND ASIA 💕💞💓💖💗💝💘 !!! i have a Micky astro update to share!

i've started working on the moon nodes (still have yet to finish studying degree theory), and while i was trying to find sources i found a source that actually explains the nodes in their houses, which is very helpful and also extremely telling from what i've read.

i wanted to share Micky's specifically because i found some things that are very important to the tour right now!

the thing about the moon nodes is that people will start to identify with their North Node in their later half of life, rather than the South Node when growing up. Micky has a Cancer North Node and Capricorn South Node; very much centered around familial and emotional matters.

i screenshot it and highlighted things that jumped out to me that made me think "yep that's him" (all of it is, who am i kidding), and underlined things that he should watch for, especially now:

i'll let you dissect that one, asia. Micky girls know more about him than i ever will 😔✊

moreover, we currently have nothing within the astrosphere that's in Capricorn, but we do have a Mars in Cancer transit right now, which is at it's fall; Cancer in Mars does not work well, i mean just look at Davy (natal Mars Cancer), the poor fucking bastard. this Mars transit is currently at 11° Cancer, fitting snuggly between Micky's 4H Saturn and 5H South Node in conjunction.

Mars is going to stay in Cancer for pretty much the entire Headquarters tour, heightening emotions to an almost boiling point, and with it being the 5H of creativity and self-expression we are absolutely seeing this unfold within the audience, and a bit with Micky too! also, with it applying (moving inward to conjunction) right now to his South Node, having him bringing up the past over & over is only going to get more emotionally intense from there, at least until it begins separation (moving onward from conjunction).

here's the thing though, Mars is notoriously headstrong and impulsive, so if emotions heighten and you mix that with the aggressive passion of Mars... yeah, it can get messy if gone unchecked. right now though we're seeing it manifest positively, at least on the outskirts, just as long as caution isn't being tempted to be thrown to the wind.

we're almost done with Aries season -- Mars' domicile sign -- and Taurus season will be moving in on the 21st, so Mars won't have a leg to stand on after that. but while Aries is all about following immediate instinct, Taurus is focused on stability and keeping a practical outlook; Taurus and Cancer naturally sextile, having very similar outlooks and views. if Micky is able to hone that influence in for the latter half of April, keeping a valuable support system and allowing himself to be open and honest with his emotions, then i have faith that it won't get the best of him... for now! it's like i keep saying: he needs to watch his head.

and before i go here's a quote from a source i found when looking up transit Mars conjunct natal South Node that perfectly puts this transit for him in a nutshell:

"Mars only touches the South Node once every two years so this can be an intense or cathartic time of release. An old issue may resurface, not to cause more pain but to allow deeper healing."

this concludes the Micky astro update 💫🌟✨

HELLO KALE MY BEAUTIFUL AMAZING FRIEND KALE WHOM I LOVE 💖💖💖💖

I LOVE THIS UPDATE SO, SO, SO MUCH!!!! and honestly this feels so fucking accurate, ESPECIALLY the parts you highlighted! but like you said it all definitely applies to micky! i think what is really interesting to me, just on a bit of a side note, is there is almost a trend of micky becoming more reserved and more concerned with appearances only to circle back into being unbothered (i’m thinking 60’s micky who was still weary but definitely more secure -> 70’s -90’s micky who was VERY self conscious and VERY concerned with trying to come off in a particular way -> mid 2000’s micky who started to revert back to being chill). you can also kind of see a trend with how he becomes more in-tune with his emotions, but also how he becomes more comfortable expressing them as well. but uh yeah all of this tracks heavily, like if i got into all the specific moments i’d be writing a fucking essay, but just KNOW this is 10000000% accurate so fucking stellar job as always kale.

i will say i hope to GOD the man takes a break after this and gives himself a chance to just sit with all the memories and emotions this tour undoubtedly brings up, and i hope he can manage to find peace within the upheaval 💖🙏😔

[the-lesbianest-batman]

Long Story Short - Taylor Swift

I'm gonna be analysing this as to why this can be read as johnlock coded.

we're starting off with john's pov:

Fatefully

tbh this is a kind of fitting adjective to describe john as the brave, fateful boy who wanted to please his father when he was younger

I tried to pick my battles 'til the battle picked me

yes so john tried to avoid conflicts (perhaps not stepping in when harry got hatecrimes during their childhood) but then the battle (the army) picked him.

Misery

the war beings misery ofc

Like the war of words I shouted in my sleep

we know john suffers from night terrors so this clocks

And you passed right by

his first meeting with sherlock aaaaaahhh

I was in the alley, surrounded on all sides

he felt alive again sjjdnsnsj

The knife cuts both ways

this is either: john feels both better because of sherlock but also worse when reichenbach (yes I'm coding this song on reichenbach angst, deal with it) or it could be that both john AND sherlock are affected by each other, for better or for worse since the knife cuts both ways

If the shoe fits, walk in it 'til your high heels break

so yes their relationship is the shoe. its easy, it's comforting, it works. until sherlock fell from his high horse/barts hospital in this case.

And I fell from the pedestal

this would be john falling on an emotional level, mirroring sherlocks actual fall

Right down the rabbit hole

depressionnnnn because your best friend/the live of your life is dead

Long story short, it was a bad time

yeah no kidding

Pushed from the precipice

its like johns world stopped moving, everything now feels wrong and cold and empty

Clung to the nearest lips

him trying to distract from his grief by dating mary

Long story short, it was the wrong guy

or girl in this case

Now I'm all about you

I'm all about you, ah

Yeah, yeah

I'm all about you, ah

Yeah, yeah

sherlock is back and john is all about him <3

now we're switching to sherlock's pov

Actually

again this word describes sherlock pretty well. he is kind of a smart arse. in a very lovable way of course

I always felt I must look better in the rear view

sherlock being insecure about what people think of him/him annoying people when he's around so that once he leaves they might like him more. also sherlock trying to convince himself that leaving john behind wasnt as bad

Missing me

yes john does miss him.

At the golden gates they once held the keys to

okay so I'm not perfect at interpreting lyrics but this could be: the golden gates: sherlock without his "armor" and John being the one who had the keys to make sherlock emotionally vulnerable. and to me, the past tense is not because sherlock doesn't love him anymore but because he's far, far away and has his shields back up because the last thing he needs when fighting criminals is an emotional breakdown over john. he needs to be strong

When I dropped my sword

sherlock being done with the mission

I threw it in the bushes and knocked on your door

sherlock comes back to john.

And we live in peace

ayo john forgives him, there's none of that mary stuff and they have the domestic happy ending they deserve

But if someone comes at us

sherlock is abso-fucking-lutely ready to defend john.

This time, I'm ready

he protecc.

'Cause I fell from the pedestal

maybe sherlock being rudely pushed from his high horse by people like sebastian, anderson, donovan

Right down the rabbit hole

sherlocks insecurities and drug abuse because he was bullied (hear me out this will come up again 2 lines later)

Long story short, it was a bad time

again also applies to the bullying he endured

Pushed from the precipice

so yes i don't interpret this as the post trf scenario but rather teen!lock descending into drugs because he's all alone

Clung to the nearest lips

THIS is why I went for the teen!lock drug scenario. victorlock but its unhealthy

Long story short, it was the wrong guy

victor was the wrong guy.

Now I'm all about you

I'm all about you, ah

Yeah, yeah

I'm all about you

again. sherlock is all about john. they're in love. they're happy. they're healing

this can be both of their povs. because it's the bridge <3

No more keepin' score now

I just keep you warm (keep you warm)

they're done denying their relationship and thinking it's unrequited. now they accept it and keep each other warm

No more tug of war now

I just know there's more (know there's more)

again, same sentiment. they are done pining. they are secure in their love for one another

No more keepin' score now

I just keep you warm (keep you warm)

repetition for emphasis

And my waves meet your shore

Ever and evermore

jesus christ this line is good, if I could I'd sniff this like coke. *clears throat* yes so this is just. sherlock is the ocean, tempestuous unpredictable, vast (knowledge) and john is the shore, warm, safe, stabile. he's the constancy to sherlock's many moods. so yes. sherlock's waves meet john's shore. forever and evermore. I'm going to cry.

we're back to john's pov

Past me

I wanna tell you not to get lost in these petty things

john getting over his immovable heterosexuality and now sees his past internalised homophobia (that probably stems from his family life and childhood experiences with harry not being accepted) as a petty thing

Your nemeses

ok hear me out. these nemeses are johns "daddy issues", internalised homophobia, trust issues, self hatred etc which in my mind all lead back to his father SO

Will defeat themselves before you get the chance to swing

we have a patrick melrose situation (minus the csa because I'm not headcanoning abuse victims). I mean that as John realises he hates his father and that he was his nemesis but he can't confront him or show him how well he's doing and that YES, HE HAS A BOYFRIEND, because his father dies. so he goes to his funeral with sherlock and I just see this scene as john crying silently because damn he hated him but somewhere inside him there was still love for his father and sherlock is there for him

And he's passing by

referring to sherlock

Rare as the glimmer of a comet in the sky

sherlocks genius, beauty and extravagance. john just appreciates him

And he feels like home

YES. sherlock is johns new home. his found family. omfg johnlock

If the shoe fits, walk in it everywhere you go

the shoe (johnlock) fucking fits!!! (they are soulmates) so yes, they will walk in it everywhere they go!!!!

going in for another sherlock pov

And I fell from the pedestal

this time it's quite literally the fall

Right down the rabbit hole

rabbit hole being the obsession of stopping moriarty and his network.

Long story short, it was a bad time

yeah no shit sherlock. I doubt those 2 years were fun.

Pushed from the precipice

just like john, his world was off its axis

Climbed right back up the cliff

HE MADE IT BACK YES

Long story short, I survived

exactly. at the end of the 2 years sherlock survived and that's what matters. he came back to John.

Now I'm all about you (and now)

I'm all about you, ah (and now)

I'm all about you (and now)

I'm all about you, ah

Yeah, yeah

I'm all about you (and now)

Yeah, yeah

I'm all about you

sherlock is all about john <3

so both their povs now

Long story short, it was a bad time

being apart was a bad time yes. for both of them

Long story short, I survived

but they made it back to each other. they got their happy ending.

yes so I hope you all now go and add longs tory short to your johnlock playlists.

[kingsshilling]

Picked on from the hat a bit here but also genuinely interested, what’s each lads main love language?

now here's an ask that the second I got it I was equally as excited to answer it as I was deeply deeply afraid. we're going straight to read more with this one because you know I'm incapable of simply saying "this for bedwyr and this for éamonn, thanks!"

I'll be completely honest and say the concept of a Love Language is mostly new to me and I don't know if it applies to solely romantic relationships or like all forms of love but regardless neither of them have just one as far as I can see, and especially in the case of Éamonn it can be difficult to tell because he has so many issues with just about everything about himself - like in direct contradiction with one another he simulatenously loves and loathes to touch and be touched

on top of that he has so little experience in being close to literally anyone that you could say he's almost like emotionally stunted. he wasn't close to his family (even before his sister left they didn't know much about each other and his mother was.. Well.) so there was little in the way of love there, and he never really had close friends either... Emmet was the nearest thing to that he had and even he didn't really know Éamonn even if they'd known each other and worked together for years

and for obvious reasons he had never been involved with anyone romantically - physically yes cus he was a sailor/fisherman and has been around nearly every dingy port town & city in Ulster/Scotland/north west England but he wouldn't hang about particularly long & genuinely never harboured any real feelings for anyone he met (or at least if he did he would've pushed them down so far he wouldn't even be aware of them anymore), so Bedwyr's a brand new and literally petrifying experience for him

so after three paragraphs of "context" to get us to actually discussing the fucking question you asked.. because it's literally the only thing he really knows how to do and the only thing he Has been doing for most of his life, his main one would be acts of service - he wants to feel like he's useful to people so they might feel more inclined to keep him around, and as well as that he can tell himself that he's just doing it out of politeness and that there's no other motives there, be it something like offering to do extra/someone else's work, going to get drinks or food... that kind of thing..

once he actually gets to somewhat of a level of comfortableness with someone though then touch is another one, but only if he's certain he won't be seen by anyone else (not even necessarily just cus of the era he lives in but even if there weren't that element whatsoever he'd still feel it's like.. unbecoming? embarrassing? letting too much of himself be seen essentially) and still with that level of "I hate this I want this this makes me feel disgusting I don't care" etc etc etc over and over again on repeat in his mind forever. it'd take a loooong long time with Bedwyr to kind of get over that line of thinking and even then he never really fully does

JESUSSSS okay now Bedwyr. he's got his own contradictions going on but that are in contrast with Éamonn a fair bit..

he’s got an even more complicated and difficult relationship with Being Who He Is than Éamonn does (and this is something I would like to go more in depth about at some stage for both of them cus it’s at least interesting to ME but this is farrrrr too long already) but yet he’s like. Everything all at once. I see the list of the five different love languages (words of affirmation, quality time, acts of service, gifts, touch) and I just think oh he’s literally all of those he does ALL of those

touch is probably his biggest because he’s always been physically affectionate with literally everyone be it friends family or whoever else cus his family & much of the people he grew up around were always like that and he never thought anything about it, the sort of person who’s always clapping people on the shoulder or patting them on the back or hugging them... picking them up and spinning them around... rugby tackling his mates without warning....................

he just likes making people happy and making them laugh! (or annoying them. in the way you find joy in annoying your friends. by throwing them about and sending them home with bruises.) (they get their own back it’s all about give and take.) and obviously the closer he is with someone and the more he really likes and cares about them the stronger that instinct is going to be

..then Éamonn has a really, really bad effect on that instinct because not only is he someone that Bedwyr is a little fascinated by and wants to get to know better, he's also someone who seems to rarely smile and never seems to be properly happy about literally anything, so he unintentionally and unknowingly flicks some switch in Bedwyr's brain that makes him decide "I have GOT to find out what makes this guy happy and then keep doing whatever that is forever", and that's long before Bedwyr even realises that oh christ he might actually feel something more worrying for this guy LMFAO

although he's kind of big on all of them I think second to touch would definitely be quality time for him cus he just loves spending time with the people he cares about, be it a lazy sunday or a day trip somewhere or just going to the pub, which is a bit of an annoyance for Éamonn at first because he never ever stops inviting him out for a few pints and getting him to mingle with the locals (but of course he does eventually grow to enjoy it..)

I best end it here before I go on for a million more years and I VERY easily could, considering I didn't get into the sort of.... Closer.... relationships Bedwyr had with people before he met Éamonn or much of his like deeper feelings on the subject like I did with Our Ned but like literally this would've been two or three times as long if I did. And also that is not what the original question even asked for so KJSNSDGKJDSN

EVENTUALLY if people are interested I'll try get into more of that BUT FOR NOW!!!!!!!!!!!!! THANK YOU VERY VERY VERY MUCH FOR THIS QUESTION this is a very important one I think and one it took me a good while to answer cus I had to think about it a lot. And maybe thought about it a bit too much considering how much I've gone on. God help us all

[hanniejji]

TAGS UWU

So I was tagged three times and since I wasn't able to do it on my phone I had to do it on my computer lmao anyway I got tagged by my sweet cakes(@hyunjinsgiggle ), the sunshine (@felegs ), and this cutie (@stayuwu ) this is going to be long btw im sorry and the ending is very depressing ignore it

Bold Tag

Rules: bold the ones that apply to you!

Appearance:

I’m over 5'5 / I wear glasses/contacts / I have blonde hair / I wear sweatshirts a lot / I prefer loose clothing to tight clothing / I have one or more piercings / I have at least one tattoo / I have blue eyes / I have dyed or highlighted my hair / I have gotten plastic surgery / I have or had braces / I sunburn easily / I have freckles / I paint my nails / I typically wear makeup / I don’t often smile / I am pleased with how I look / I prefer Nike to Adidas / I wear baseball hats backwards

Hobbies and talents:

I play a sport / I can play an instrument / I am artistic / I know more than one language / I have won a trophy in some sort of competition / I can cook or bake without a recipe / I know how to swim / I enjoy writing / I can do origami / I prefer movies on TV shows / I can execute a perfect somersault / I enjoy singing / I could survive in the wild on my own / I have read a new book series this year / I enjoy spending time with friends / I travel during school or work brakes / I can do a handstand

Experiences:

I have had my first kiss / I have gotten drunk / I have told a crush I like them / I have traveled outside of the country / I have flown on an airplane / I have stayed awake for more than 48 hours / I have had a near-death experience / I have caught something on fire / I have performed in a talent show / I have shot a gun / I have been on TV / I have gone scuba diving / I have broken a bone / I have slow-danced / I have gone on a shopping spree

Relationships:

I am in a relationship / I have been single for over a year / I have a crush / I have a best friend I have known for over ten years / my parents are together / I have dated my best friend / I am adopted / my crush have confessed to me / I have had a long-distance relationship / I am an only child / I give advice to my friends / I have made an online friend / I met up with someone I have met online

Aesthetics:

I have heard the ocean in a conch shell / I have watched the sun rise / I enjoy rainy days / I have slept under the stars / I meditate outside / the sound of chirping calms me / I enjoy the smell of the beach / I know what snow tastes like / I listen to music to fall asleep / I enjoy thunderstorms / I enjoy cloud watching / I have attended a bonfire / I pay close attention to colors / I find mystery in the ocean / I enjoy hiking on nature paths / Autumn is my favorite season

Miscellaneous:

I can fall asleep in a moving vehicle / I am the mom friend / I live by a certain quote / I like the smell of sharpies / I am involved in extracurricular activities/ I enjoy Mexican food / I can drive stick-shift / I have memorized an entire song in a day / I believe in true love / I dream up scenarios to fall asleep / I sing in the shower / I wish I lived in a video game / I have a canopy above my bed / I am Multi-racial / I am a redhead / I own at least three dogs / I am LGBR

I'm about to answer 33 questions wow I feel like I'm on an examination

11 questions tag

by sweet cakes:

1. what is your fashion sense?

I have a lot of styles depending on the weather or my mood. I mostly do the sweater/jacket + high waisted shorts hehe or turtle neck + shorts + cardigan/jacket. when I'm lazy, which is always, I wear an oversize hoodie and shorts and the occasional cap hihi I have a weird sense of fashion

2. what is your favourite season?

I like rainy, or windy. any is fine as long as I don't sweat like hell adfaslsja I hate summer

3. if you could go on holiday anywhere, where?

I love going to beaches but tbh anywhere with good views is fine, it doesn't matter since the most important thing for me is that I get the experience and take lots of photos if they have a lot of delicious foods then that's better oof

4. what is one quote you live by?

"learn to stand on your own feet" has a very special place in my heart

5. would you ever get a tattoo, and if so, what and where?

I would want a snowflake, because we're not alone falling down

6. what is your favourite song at the minute?

at the moment, it's nobody knows by youngjae and fine by yugyeom ✨✨

7. what is one album you would listen to for the rest of your life?

I still listen to Linkin Park songs because of the meaningful and relatable lyrics

8. what is your favourite memory from the last year?

it has to be the one time my mom said she's proud of me :')

9. what is one regret you have?

not being able to make friends easily :'( I find it hard to do

10. would you change aforementioned regret?

maybe :'(

11. if you could have any food in the world to eat right now, what would it be?

How dare you make me choose I can't possibly choose between different varieties of foods :'( fries, frappe, and shawarma w/o cucumber pls

by sunshine 🌞

1. what’s one thing that helps you relax?

probably sleeping with soft background music

2. what’s your favorite novel and author?

I'd rather poetry :') sea of strangers by lang leav is amazing

3. are you an affectionate person? if so, how do you show affection?

I'm more like the closet affectionate person hehe but when I'm tired or sleepy I get clingy a lot but I'm mostly through small actions, I'm not comfortable with saying "I miss you" or whatever unless I'm typing them

4. are you an early bird or a night owl?

totally a night owl

5. if you’re comfortable with it, do you have a song you connect to something or someone, and if so, what is it?

sorry by halsey, broken home by 5sos

6. if you could go back to a place you’ve been to before, where would it be?

the beach we went to last vacation :')

7. what does your favorite piece of clothing - that you own yourself - look like?

a very comfy oversized hoodie, it's black with front pocket, sweater paaaaws, and it has a small doodle of neptune on the back

8. who’s your bias and why?

bias? I don't know her

9. do you believe in luck and miracles?

yas, my aunt is actually a fortune teller? idk? but she knows a lot about those and spirits thing but since I have low self confidence I mostly sound like I don't believe in them

10. what’s your favorite type of decorations?

aesthetic and pastel colors ✨

11. do you prefer being outside or inside?

booooth

by cutie :

1. Are you a daydreamer? If so, what do you dream about?

sometimes I just space out without even realizing

2. What’s your favorite place in the world?

home

3. What’s home to you?

somewhere that no one can judge me, a safety place, a place where I can let loose and be comfortable and not give a care about anything

4. This is not a question but quote a vine.

"oh hell noOooOoOOoOooOooOO"

5. Grey’s anatomy or House?

what i don't watch any of these

6. Do you have any pets?

a lame excuse of a cat

7. What kind of friend are you? (You know, the mom friend, the meme friend, etc).

the mom friend, scolds you 25/8, gives advises everywhere, comforts you, takes things seriously, drops everything just to listen to you unless I'm in a very bad mood, sacrifices for you, boyfriend material (according to my friend), secretly soft, lazy but exerts effort when needed, randomly does weird things and dances to fortnite, supports you, but lowkey doesn't do the same for myself lol because I'm emo and you can hear me saying bad things about myself 27/10 and pushing you away lol

I don't share my food unless you're important lmao

8. Do you hate someone? If so, why?

fake peopleeee

9. What’s your dream job?

to be a journalism

10. What MCU character resembles you the most? (not physically, more like mentally and emotionally).

probably wanda

11. I won’t use this eleven question as an actual question, use your right to answer to this to talk about whatever the fuck you want. Rant, fangirl, talk about what you did today or yesterday or whatever. Just talk.

I just want to cry to someone but I don't have the heart to tell anyone, I don't know why but I get stressed so easily and that one time our nurse had a seminar and asked if anyone is depressed, I just want to raise my hand but I'm too scared someone will judge me and think of me as a weak person, like now, and she started this speech about how to beat depression and I just can't understand how is that going to work because it doesn't work on me. I'm getting tired of constantly getting sad for no reason and it's bothering my classmates and I hate bothering them I feel like I'm annoying so I kept these thoughts to myself. It's hard trying to avoid spacing out and being so quiet all of the sudden, I'm getting mad at myself for being pathetic and I did the "do" once because I was so desperate to feel something other than sadness and I couldn't even tell anyone and right now I feel like this rant I'm doing is bothering everyone I hate being like this :'(

I'm doooonneee hehehehe that took me like a long time and I should really sleep now :') I will reblog this with my 11 questions and tags because tumblr has limits ugh