#that bottom right one next to his sprite in a red circle is the first doodle i did of him :]

[automatonknight]

benny 🫵

[newkyus-void]

Call me when you need.

◡̈ 뉴 // 최 찬희

 ⁂ smut

 ⁂ warnings: unprotected sex (stay safe y'all), degradation (slut), slight choking, oral (both receiving), fingering, dirty talk, teasing, kinda fake sympathy, spanking (mentioned around three times), praise, mentions of alcohol (both are sober), mentions of aftercare

Let me know if I missed any.

⁂ dom! Bartender! Chanhee x sub! Stripper! Fem. Reader

 ⁂ wc.: 3.2k

All eyes are on you, the red lights of the club follow your every move as you take tentative steps around the pole. The men sitting in the front row holler when you drop in a split and move forward, tits on display but not fully naked. 

They almost jump out of their seats when you stand back up to circle the pole once, twice before pulling yourself up and then hanging from it with your legs. Your world is upside down for the few seconds you dangle from the pole before you sensually pull yourself back up. 

Though all eyes in the club are on you, you only meet those of one person across the room. He observes your every move now that people are busy watching your performance, his eyes dark. It would make your skin crawl, but all it does is put a smirk on your face. You turn back around to hold onto the pole and spin around it before ending your show in a graceful drop. 

The whole club erupts in whistles, claps, hollers and compliments when you stand back up and give them a good view of your ass before walking backstage. 

The skimpy shorts you're wearing barely cover you, adorned by black fishnet tights and the mini top they told you to put on. 

One of your colleagues wolf whistles after you when you pass her and you show her a grin before it's her turn on stage. 

You put on a black silk robe to cover up a little before you make your way to the bar, your black platform boots clacking against the floor. 

The bar is still empty when you slide onto the stool right next to the corridor. "What can I serve you?" The handsome man behind the counter asks you, flicking the little towel in his hand to land on his shoulder. "Perhaps a cold sprite?" 

You scoff upon seeing a smirk part his lips. "Very funny, Choi" 

"Why don't you laugh then, bunny?" His voice is teasingly low, before he moves to prepare you a fix of your usual drink.

With attentive eyes, you observe his every move, the way his hands effortlessly make quick work of the bottle and pour the liquid into the glass, the way he bites his tongue in concentration. 

He slides the glass across the counter easily and it lands perfectly in front of you. "Show off" You mumble before picking it up and taking a swig. 

"Somehow today seems a bit boring in comparison to usual, don't you think?" He strikes up a conversation easily, one elbow propped up on the counter with his other arm supporting himself. "Maybe it's because the star performer already finished" 

You can't help the sense of pride from pulling your lips into a satisfied smile. "Just admit that I'm your favorite already" 

He snickers and just quietly observes you, waiting for you to finish your drink. "And what would you gain from that?" 

"Me? Gain something?" You raise your brows in amusement. "Oh no honey, it would be you" 

Something flashes in his eyes, a spark of curiosity. "Are you gonna dance for me bun?" 

The sound of the glass hitting the counter rips him out of his mind, his eyes roam your face for any clue on what you got planned this time. "When do I pick you up?" 

"At nine, I'll meet you in the parking lot" You reply and slide off the stool, smack a Bank note on the counter and make your way back into the backstage room for the performers. 

One hour to go. 

—

Your colleagues proved to be a great pastime while you talked to them about the performances and the money you made tonight. 

"Bunny, how's things going with the hot bartender?" One of them asks, curious about it. 

"Right! You two seemed pretty close" 

You snicker and twirl a strand of your hair around your finger. "I'm getting wrecked tonight" 

They all exchange excited glances and whistle. "Get that dick, girl!" 

After that you glance at the clock and realize it's time to go. "I'll see you guys on Saturday, get home safe!" 

They bid their goodbyes and wave as you grab your bag and leave in the same outfit you came in, though now covered by a long black coat. 

You spot the man leaning against his car with his hands buried in his pockets, eyes meeting yours. "Took you long enough" 

"Shut it, Choi" You bite back playfully and make your way to where he stands, the sound of your boots echoing around the space of the parking lot. "It'll all be worth the wait"

His resolve crumbles and a scoff escapes his lips. "Your shows are always worth it. Your place or mine?" 

You purse your lips for a second as you think about it. "Mine" 

The man nods and opens the passenger seat door for you. "As you wish" He says before closing the door and then rounds the car to get behind the wheel. 

You fasten your seatbelt and enjoy the quiet music that plays from his radio after he starts up the engine. 

He puts the car in reverse, turns his head and grips the passenger seat headrest for support as he exits the spot his car stood in. 

The hard pounding of your heart doesn't go unnoticed by you when you see his arm veins. 

—

The ride home was quiet aside from the tune playing through the speakers. He parks his car in front of your house and shuts it off before turning to look at you. "So tell me… what did you plan?" 

You snicker and shrug, opening the door and stepping out of his vehicle. Chanhee repeats your actions and locks the car before following you up the steps as you unlock the door. 

"You know where the playroom is, wait there for me" You tell him while he takes off his shoes. 

He raises a brow but obliges, disappearing up the stairs quietly, without objection. 

You then quickly take off your coat and boots, immediately feeling a lot smaller. You take a few minutes in the bathroom to freshen up before making your way up into your so-called "playroom" where Chanhee is patiently waiting. 

He's sitting in the chair which points towards the pole you have in that room. "There you are" He comments and smirks. "Show me what you got up your sleeve baby" 

You turn on the music and get to work, but not how he expected it. Usually you would show him one of your pole dances, but now you're closer to giving him a lap dance. 

His eyes reflect his confusion as they blink up at you. 

"What are you looking at? Don't you like this?" You tease him before turning around displaying your ass for him. 

Chanhee sucks in a breath through his teeth, fingers digging into the chair. "Can I touch you?" 

You circle the chair with slow, calculated steps, drag a finger across his back and watch him shiver. "No"

He groans, disappointed, but listens. "You're so mean" 

"You'll get to touch me real soon" You mumble in his ear and take a seat on his lap, grinding your hips barely against his. "Don't you like this?" You repeat your question. 

"I'd prefer it if you were on your knees for me baby" He hisses, resolve crumbling as his hands pull you down fully. "Can you do that for me?" 

You show him a smug smirk and pull your bottom lip between your teeth. "You're so impatient, Choi, why don't we take it nice and slow?" 

"I'll give you nice and slow, baby" Chanhee replies dangerously calm, one of his hands pulling you close by your neck and the other one landing a stinging slap against your ass. 

He devours your pained whimper with his mouth, eagerly moving against yours. 

Chanhee parts your lips with his easily, his tongue entering between your lips for a brief second before pulling it back and chuckling lowly when you whine. 

"You wanted it, so take it" He almost growls before detaching from your mouth and placing kisses down your jawline and neck, looking for your sweet spot. 

Your hands move into his blue hair and tug when he finds it, smirking against your skin before biting down and sucking his mark into the sensitive part. 

"Fuck Chanhee" You grit out through clenched teeth, his action growing slightly painful but nonetheless riling you up. 

The man pulls off with a pop and admires his artwork before turning your face to look into his eyes. "So now you're finally acknowledging my first name?" 

All you manage to do is a pitiful nod. 

He clicks his tongue and swiftly stands up, his hands holding onto you by your thighs. Instinctively you wrap your legs around his middle and tighten your grip around his neck. 

Chanhee steps around the chair and sits down on the bed, his grip on you letting up. "How about you show me how sorry you are, hm? Wrap your cute lips around my cock and let me use you?" 

A strangled moan escapes you upon hearing his filthy words, your head hitting his shoulder. "O- Okay" 

One of his hands bury themselves in your hair and pull your head up, pulling a gasp out of you. "Then get on your knees, baby. Don't keep me waiting" 

You nod against his vice-like grip and he lets go so you can move off his lap and onto your knees in front of the bed. The soft carpet soothes your skin a little as you get as comfy as it gets. 

"What are you waiting for? Get working" Chanhee orders with dark eyes. 

Without wasting another second, you scramble to open the button of his jeans and pull down the zipper, exposing his black briefs. 

His dick strains against the fabric and you quickly pull his jeans off his legs before doing the same to his underwear. Chanhee moves to sit on the edge of the bed and pushes your face against his thigh, right next to his leaking cock. "Show me what that mouth can do baby" 

You rub your thighs together for some friction, briefly, before sticking out your tongue to lick a stripe up his length. 

A groan tears through his throat, his hands moving your hair out of the way and holding onto it. "Don't tease me or you'll regret it later" 

That was all it took for you to open your mouth and take him in, inch by inch, jaw relaxing and being cautious with your teeth. 

"Fuck" Chanhee hisses, eyes rolling back when you take him in wholly. "I didn't know you had no gag reflex" 

You take pride in this and start moving your head back slowly and then down again, repeating this a few times before your jaw starts to hurt. 

You pull off for a second to catch your breath, your right hand replacing your mouth as you start to jerk him off before you engulf the tip between your lips once more. 

"Oh God, fuck" He moans and tightens his grasp on your hair before pulling you off after a few minutes. "Stop, I don't want to cum yet" 

You watch breathlessly as he pulls off his shirt and throws it across the room before bending down and pulling off your top too. 

"Strip for me baby" He orders again and sits back to observe the way you wiggle out of your skimpy shorts and pull down the fishnet tights, along with your panties before also throwing them away, now completely bare in front of him. 

You don't feel self conscious around him despite the fact that this is the first time he's seeing you naked. 

"You're so beautiful baby, come lay down for me" Chanhee says and pulls you close by your wrist. 

You oblige, laying down on the bed and watch him crawl towards you to place a searing kiss to your lips. "Now behave and keep your legs open for me" 

A shiver runs down your spine when he attaches his lips to your collarbone and then between your breasts. His eyes meet yours for a second before he moves and closes his mouth around your nipple, sucking and flicking on it with his tongue. One of his hands moves to pinch the other one and you bury your fingers in his hair with a breathless whimper. 

Chanhee repeats the action on the other side before sliding down and sucking a mark right beneath your tits. 

You can't even form words, too lost in the pleasure he's providing you as he moves even further down, face level with your soaked pussy. 

"Look at you, so wet for me and I didn't even do much" He exhales against your inner thigh and sucks another mark there before continuing, "So eager to have your cute little cunt stuffed with my cock, aren't you?" 

You nod desperately, but Chanhee isn't pleased and plants a smack against your cunt. 

"I want to hear you say it" He orders, running his lithe fingers up and down your slit before dipping the tip of his middle finger in briefly. 

You whimper and twitch because of his doing, "w- want your cock to f- fill me up!" 

Chanhee smirks, pleased with your answer and plunges his index and middle finger into your soaking pussy. "Shit baby, you're ruining the bedsheets" 

"I don't care about the- ahh bedsheets!" You reply and dig your fingers into the pillow by your head. 

The music still playing in the background doesn't do much to tune out the squelching sounds of your wet cunt. 

Chanhee slowly adds a third finger and groans at the way your face contorts in pleasure. "Fuck baby you look so hot like this" he hisses and then moves his mouth to your pussy, tongue teasing your clit and making you jump at the feeling. 

His free hand moves to hold you down by the stomach as he continues to assault your core, mouth enclosing the bundle of nerves as he sucks on it slightly and flicks his tongue against it again and again. 

"C- Chanhee-" 

"I know baby" He hums against your pussy, "let go for me" 

Within a second you're cumming all over his fingers, walls clenching around his long digits and legs twitching, wanting to snap them shut, but you power through it. 

The blissful pain of overstimulation kicks in when he doesn't stop and you quickly move to push at his head. 

He chuckles and pulls away. "Okay, okay, calm down baby" 

You wince when he pulls out his fingers and moves back up.

"Open" He orders and you oblige, opening your mouth for him to push his fingers into. 

You can taste yourself and groan, tongue swirling around his digits to clean them. It was impressive how fast he made you cum, usually it takes a lot more than that. 

The eye contact that you initiate has Chanhee bite his lips and pull his fingers out of your mouth. 

"Shit baby you're so messy" He groans and looks at the mess of your arousal on the bedsheets. "But that's okay, this was just the beginning" 

You shudder when he moves back to kneel over you between your legs, his cock in hand. 

"Come on, tell me how much you want it," Chanhee smirks. "Or you won't get anything at all" 

"N- No, please!" You immediately whine and move to prop yourself up on your elbows, but he pushes you back down by the throat. 

"Please what? C'mon bun, I know you can do better than that" He says and licks his lips. 

"P- Please fuck me Chanhee!" You reply, voice high pitched and breathless. "Fill me up with your big dick!" 

He removes his hand from your throat and instead moves it to hold on to your waist. "Hmm.. are you gonna take what I give you like a good girl? Let me fill up your cute little pussy with my cum?" 

A shameless moan escapes you, his filthy words going straight to your core. "Y- Yes! Oh my God please-" 

Chanhee cuts you off, rubbing his dick teasingly over your clit and then down to your entrance, dipping the head of his dick in briefly before pulling it out again. "You're so eager baby" 

You grasp his arm and look at him with pleading eyes and he finally gives him. 

Agonizingly slow, he pushes himself into you, inch by inch. He fills you up deliciously to the brim, the head of his cock prodding at your g-spot and making your eyes roll back in ecstasy. 

"Fuck you feel so good" He grunts and lets himself lean over you, supporting himself with his arms beside your head. "Why didn't you try to get into my pants earlier, baby?" 

You whimper and twitch when he moves his hips, grinding against yours in a teasing manner. "B- Because- oh fuck!"

He unexpectedly cuts you off after delivering a sharp thrust and makes you lose your train of thought, words a jumbled mess upon hitting your g-spot head on. 

"Aw baby, were you shy? How cute" He teases, fake sympathy seeping into his tone, "too bad you're just a little slut… my little slut" 

A tear rolls down your cheek at all the stimuli you receive and he doesn't hesitate to lick it off, pressing a light peck to the apple of your cheek. "Does it feel so good you're crying? You're so adorable" 

His words reach your ears, but you can't process them, too lost in the feeling of his cock dragging against your walls and filling you up so well. All you manage to do is a shaky nod, your fingers digging into his broad back and leaving marks in their wake. Chanhee hisses at the sensation, but his hips stutter, giving his liking for pain away. 

His hips meet yours with loud smacking sounds and you have a hard time keeping your legs around him, grip faltering. "C- Chanhee!" You whimper and clench your eyes shut. 

He gets the clue, also feeling the way your pussy clenches around him. His hand moves between your bodies and proceeds to rub fast and tight circles over your clit. "Cum for me baby, cum all over my cock" 

Your whole body twitches and after another thrust and another move of his fingers, the coil snaps and you release all over his dick with a lewd moan. 

Chanhee's thrusts falter when he feels your walls clamp down on him and he hisses, gripping your hips and harshly pounding into you to reach his high. "I'm almost there baby" He grunts, observing the way you don't know where to grab, head turning left and right against the pillow. 

After a few more harsh thrusts, his hips stutter once more and you feel him release inside of you. 

"C- Chanhee I can't- Too much!" You cry out and he quickly shushes you, coming up to pull you into a kiss. 

"Okay baby, okay" He mumbles and proceeds to slowly pull out. The look of discomfort on your face doesn't escape his attentive eyes. 

He flops down next to you and gathers you in his arms, stroking your head lovingly. "You did so well for me" 

You relax into his embrace, basking in his warmth and comfort. "Thank you Chanhee…" you mumble into his chest, eyes falling shut as the exhaustion kicks in. 

He continues to hold you for a little longer before waking you up again. "Come on love, let me take care of you" 

[lonelyheartash]

In My Defense - a.i.

Part 1

(gif credit to @ghostofmashton​ / @lfwallscouldtalk​ ) this is my first fic be nice

Summary: the defense doesn’t rest when love is involved

Words: 1.5k

Pairing: Ashton Irwin x Female OC

Warnings: smut, unprotected sex, cock and pussy

Wanna be added to my tag list?

McKenna knew the frat scene wasn’t for her, but she needed to get out of her apartment. All the studying and all nighters she had pulled in the last two weeks earned her a night of reckless abandon. She walked into the noisy frat house, hoisting her pleated skirt up a little higher. If she was going to party, she was going to do it right. She made her way to the kitchen and grabbed herself a red solo cup, filling it with Cherry Coke and vanilla rum. She sipped her drink as she took in her surroundings.

Nearly every frat guy in the house had his hands on some girl. McKenna shook her head and downed the rest of her drink before heading off to find someone she knew. The only person she knew for sure was at this party was her old lab partner, Becky Gordon. She wouldn’t call them friends, but they were always friendly with each other. Becky still sent McKenna memes every now and then, so McKenna figured they were close enough to friends to hang out at a party together. She made her way over to the far wall where Becky was smoking a joint with a tan, dark haired boy.

“Hey, McKenna! I didn’t know you were coming tonight.” Becky smiled softly, her white teeth sparkling despite the dim light.

“I didn’t know I was either. I just needed a break from studying.” McKenna shrugged. “Thought you hated the taste of weed?”

“I do, but when it’s mixed with vodka, it’s a little better.” Becky giggled softly and took a drag, handing it back to the boy. “I’ll catch you later, Calum.” Becky said, walking to the kitchen with McKenna.

“Whatcha drinkin’?” McKenna asked, grabbing two cups.

“Vodka and Sprite.” Becky said and watched McKenna make the drinks. She handed one of the cups to Becky and took a sip of her own. “You know, I think I’m gonna hook up with Calum. I’ll come find you later.” Becky said and McKenna laughed softly.

“Enjoy yourself, Becky.” She smiled, waving her off. She leaned against the doorframe and sipped her drink.

“Hey, pretty lady. You come to these often?” McKenna looked up as a boy she didn’t recognize leaned against the door next to her.

“Uh, no, not really.” McKenna said, finishing her drink.

“I figured. I would’ve recognized your gorgeous body.” He smirked down at her.

“Who have you got here, Brody?” Another boy asked, standing on the other side of McKenna.

“Just a pretty lady, Brady.” Brody chuckled and leaned closer to McKenna.

“You’re both very kind, but I’m not interested.” McKenna said, swallowing hard.

“Mm, I know how to get you interested.” Brady smirked, twirling Mckenna’s hair around his finger. McKenna opened her mouth to protest his advances when she felt two strong arms wrap around her waist.

“Hey, babe, who are these fucks?” McKenna looked up and sighed in relief when she saw Ashton. He was known around campus as the frat angel. He was the president of Sigma Nu and worked hard to create a safe campus for everyone.

“Apparently, their names are Brody and Brady.” McKenna said, relaxing back against Ashton.

“Well, Brody and Brady, kindly fuck off. My girlfriend was just waiting for me to use the bathroom, not waiting to be hit on by two scumbags.” Ashton said, leading McKenna to the kitchen.

“Thank you, Ashton. Really.” McKenna sighed, looking up at him.

“No problem. I could tell you weren’t comfortable with them around.” Ashton shrugged and poured out a few shots of rum. He slid two to McKenna and kept two for himself.

“I really appreciate you stepping in.” McKenna smiled softly and downed both her shots, scrunching her face at the taste.

“Can’t handle your alcohol, huh?” Ashton chuckled.

“I can, it’s just not a pleasant taste. I can shoot tequila without making a face.” McKenna defended.

“Prove it.” Ashton said, sliding her a bottle of tequila. She took the bottle and poured a shot, downing it effortlessly. Ashton watched her, astonishment apparent on his face.

“Proved it.” McKenna giggled, hiccuping quietly. “Ashton?”

“Yes, McKenna?” Ashton smiled down at her.

“I would like to kiss you.” She said, the alcohol definitely hitting her now.

“Oh, you would?” Ashton chuckled. “I think I can allow that.” He smiled, pressing his lips to hers. She wrapped her arms around his neck and let her lips mould against his. “Mm, wanna get out of here?”

“Yes, but only for a little.” She giggled, running her fingers through his hair.

“My car’s right outside.” Ashton grinned and pulled McKenna outside with him. He led her to the car and slid into the backseat. McKenna slid in next to him and straddled his hips as she pressed her lips back to his.

“I’ve never done it in a car before.” McKenna hummed, pulling her shirt off.

“I haven’t either.” Ashton mused, pulling his own off. McKenna giggled quietly and shimmied out of her skirt, tossing it in the front seat. Ashton laid her on the seats as he pushed his black jeans and boxers down. He pressed light kisses down McKenna’s neck and to her chest as he slipped her thong down her legs. McKenna gasped softly as Ashton inserted two fingers into her heat, curling them against her walls.

“Fuck, more, please.” McKenna moaned, bucking her hips. Ashton chuckled and pumped his fingers quickly. “Just like that.” McKenna moaned louder. Ashton pressed kisses to her nuck, sucking at the skin gently as he worked his fingers.

“You like that, baby girl?” Ashton smirked, rubbing his thumb against her clit.

“Yes. Oh, god. I’m so close.” Mckenna moaned, arching her back.

“Yeah? You wanna cum?” Ashton chuckled, pulling his fingers from her heat and sucking them clean. McKenna whined softly at the loss of contact.

“Please, make me cum, sir.” McKenna whimpered, looking up at Ashton. His eyes turned dark with lust as he pressed his lips to hers. She wrapped her arms around his neck and moved her lips in sync with his. Ashton hummed and rubbed the tip of his cock between her folds. He held her hips tightly as he bottomed out, a low groan leaving his lips. “Fuck, give it to me.” McKenna moaned.

“You wanna fuckin’ scream for me?” Ashton grunted and pounded his hips against hers.

“Uh huh.” McKenna moaned louder.

“Words, sweetheart.” Ashton demanded, gripping her hair.

“Yes, sir.” McKenna gasped, looking up at Ashton.

“That’s better.” Ashton moaned and pounded into her. McKenna gripped Ashton’s bicep as his name fell from her lips like a mantra. “God, this pussy was made for me.” Ashton groaned, bringing his thumb back to her clit.

“Fuck! I’m cumming.” McKenna whimpered, her walls clenching around his cock.

“Not until I say you can.” Ashton said, rubbing fast circles against her clit. McKenna let out a ragged scream and dug her manicured nails into Ashton’s bicep.

“Please, sir. Please, let me cum.” McKenna begged.

“Cum for me.” Ashton groaned, pounding his hips against hers. McKenna moaned loudly as her high washed over her, her toes curling inside her converse. “Such a good girl, Micky.” Ashton groaned as his load coated her walls. McKenna gasped softly and relaxed back against the seat, both from the euphoria and the unexpected nickname.

“So fucking good..” McKenna hummed, letting her eyes close. Ashton chuckled and pulled up his boxers and jeans.

“Why don’t you get dressed and I’ll drive you home?” Ashton smiled, rubbing her cheek gently.

“Yeah, okay..” McKenna hummed and pulled her shirt and skirt on slowly, laying down in the backseat. Ashton smiled to himself and climbed into the driver seat. He drove to McKenna’s apartment as she fell asleep in his backseat. He parked in front of the building and carefully lifted McKenna from the backseat. He fished her keys from her bra and unlocked the door, carrying her up the stairs. He laid her in her bed and tucked her in.

“See you Monday, Micky.” Ashton whispered as he plugged her phone in and placed it on her nightstand.

~~~ On Monday, McKenna trudged to class, still tired from the weekend. She sat in her seat and pulled out her phone, scrolling through Twitter. She looked up when Ashton sat in the seat next to her. “Oh, hey.” She smiled a little.

“Hi.” Ashton said, a grin tugging at his lips.

“I didn’t know you were in this class.” McKenna said, setting her phone aside.

“I am. I’m also in your accounting class, theory of management, and macro economics.” Ashton nodded, leaning back in his seat.

“Wow, how did I not notice?” McKenna asked.

“I don’t usually come to class. I can teach myself better than any of these old coots can.” Ashton shrugged. “Anyways, I was thinking we could become, ya know, study buddies.”

“Study buddies?” McKenna asked, raising an eyebrow.

“Yeah. Study buddies who also have sex sometimes.” He said, smirking softly.

“Well, in that case..” McKenna giggled softly. She wrote her phone number on a piece of notebook paper and slid it to Ashton. “Let me know when you’re free for either one.”

“Oh, I sure will.” Ashton grinned.

[nialledfromfics]

The Dating Game | Chapter Twelve 

~~

The whole first date thing wasn’t the only surprise Niall had been conjuring up for Joey. Though that night, according to her, would never be able to be topped. Joey had spent the next hour dancing with the most perfect man to what were the most perfect songs performed by her favorite band, even getting a chance to meet and thank them afterwards, before the two climbed into the chauffeured car and headed back to her place. They couldn’t keep their hands off each other after that. Not in private, not in public and it was like a whole new world for them both. It was the first time Niall just let go; didn’t care about anyone or anything else, he ignored the stares and the pictures being taken, ignored the media going into a frenzy over ‘Niall Horan’s New Mysterious Girlfriend!’ and most of all, he ignored any self doubt that he had letting himself completely and utterly fall for Joey. It was clear by that point, it was obvious, to him and to her, that what they had between them was special and it was beautiful and they relished in every single second of it. 

But between their 2am make out session in a private booth at Bootsy Bellows and their lazy Sunday strolls through Whole Foods trying their damndest to find black truffles, Niall had come up with another tiny surprise. He thought he was getting rather good at them by that time and it was just a regular Tuesday morning for Joey in her classroom, her students working quietly in their reading books when she heard a knock at her classroom door. Puzzled by the untimely distraction, all twenty sets of little eyes shot over to the door as Joey stood up from her desk to get a better look. She could see from the small window pane built into the door panel that it was the school’s principal, Mrs. Edwards. 

Joey wrinkled her brows and then gave a wide-eyed look to her students, a few breaking out into giggles as she stepped over to open the classroom door. “Principal Edwards, nice of you to stop by our class.” 

“Good morning, Ms. Parker,” the older lady greeted with a kind smile, “I don’t mean to disrupt your students, but...I think you might have a special guest visiting today.” 

Joey gently shook her head, completely dumbfounded as to what she was referring to. “I’m sorry, I didn’t have anything plan–”

The principal slid over to the side and Niall emerged from behind her, coming into Joey’s view. Her eyes lit up and a grin pulled at her lips, the sight of him nearly knocking the breath from her chest. “Niall!” she blurted out, “What, um...what are you doing here? At my...work?” 

A soft laugh escaped him and he gave her a shrug. “Just thought I’d surprise ya,” he said, popping his head in past the threshold to glance at her students, “and the kids.” 

Reaching behind his back, he grabbed at the fret of his guitar that was strapped on his chest, swinging it to his front. “Thought I would play a little acoustic set for y’all.” 

The children all started to cheer, and Joey flicked her stare over to them. Biting at her lip to suppress her ever growing smile, she bowed her head down a bit to hide her rosy cheeks. She really couldn’t believe this man. Looking back up at him, Joey swept her fingers behind her neck to push her hair to one shoulder and crossed her arms over her chest. “Is this...allowed?” she mentioned, looking over at the principal. 

“He already cleared it with me,” she confirmed with a smile and a pat on Niall’s shoulder. Mrs. Edwards turned, waddling back down the hallway towards the main office. 

Shaking her head at him, Joey caught his stare. “What am I gonna do with you?” she quietly said, his smile creating a buzz in her tummy as she whipped around to face her class. “Okay, my bright, beautiful students, we are gonna take a bit of a break right now from our reading books because....we have a special treat for all of you!”

The antsy, and excited, children bounced like tiny firecrackers in their seats. Joey nodded at Niall, giving him permission to step into the room. “This is Niall Horan, and he is going to sing us some songs this morning. Can you all say hello to Mr. Horan?” 

The entire room erupted in a harmonious sound of the repeated words as Niall laughed and gave them a friendly wave. “Hello, kids, don’t y’all look lovely today. How would ya like to hear some songs?” 

Another loud explosion of shrieks and cheers, Joey pressing her folded fingers to her mouth to contain her smile. Niall peeked over at her from the corners of his eyes and gave her a wink. That man couldn’t be more amazing if he tried, she thought to herself. Joey, as quietly as she could, then gathered all the children to sit on their assigned spots on the Carpet Circle with Niall seated at the front in the chair that Joey typically occupied. He had just begun to sing, solely capturing the children’s attention, when Joey walked over to her desk and pulled out her phone. She quickly texted Alexis.

J: You need to come to my classroom. Right now.

Only a few minutes passed before Alexis, wide eyes and slackened jaw, came sneaking into the classroom and right over to Joey who was standing off by the side of her desk. The red haired girl couldn’t take her eyes off of him, couldn’t rip her ears away from him and only when there was a break between the songs, the children all cheering and clapping was Alexis able to lean in and whisper to her. “Holy shit, Joey. This man is a dream.” 

She was in no place to argue with her, he was a dream. He was so patient with the kids, laughing and joking with them, showing them how to hold the guitar and what strings to pluck and chords to play. He would peek up at her every so often, that half smirk tugging at his lips as the lyrics of his songs spilled so effortlessly from his mouth. She was weak at the knees, weak at the heart, her soul aching with every meet of his stare to hers. She felt so warm, like a heatwave had prickled over her skin and Alexis’ soft swoons next to her were in no way helping the feelings Joey had stirring inside her. He was the most gorgeous, the most selfless and the most incredible man she had ever known in her entire life. She didn’t think anything could be more perfect then what she was witnessing in that moment. 

It was crazy how many times Niall would make her feel that way. 

Later that night, after devouring some take out and going for a short walk with Sadie, Niall and Joey had settled into their more recent nightly routine; clad in their respective comfy pajamas and lounged out on the couch as they browsed Netflix. Joey was laying on her side, her bare feet propped on Niall’s lap as he nursed a beer and clicked onto the next episode of the series they had been engrossed in over the past week. His big hand was wrapped around her one ankle, his thumb gliding small circles at the tiny bone as his head rested back on the couch. 

Pulling in a low sigh, Joey nestled her head a bit deeper into the throw pillow. “I still can’t believe you did that today,” she said, Niall’s touch pausing on her soft skin. “It was really special for my students, Niall. Thank you.” 

She peered over at him and he smiled down at her, running his palm over her calf. “No need to thank me, just thought it would be fun. And I loved your students, they were cute.” 

Tucking her lips into her mouth, it eased into a grin. “I could tell.” She moved her head to get a better look at him, twirling her fingers through the ends of her hair. “But really, thank you. It was beyond sweet and you really didn’t have to.” 

“You’re welcome, love.” 

Focusing her attention back to the program playing on the tv, there was a slight shift on Niall’s end of the couch and the clinking sound of his beer bottle being placed on the coffee table before Joey felt the heat of his fingertips slide along the span of her bare leg. Her heart was already crashing against her ribcage from the feel of him, but she stayed still, stayed quiet and as his curious touch reached the hem of her cotton shorts, Joey had sucked in a jumbled breath. Niall slipped his hand up under the back of her shorts, hesitating slightly to register her reaction and noticing the slight smirk spreading on her lips before gently groping her bum. His skin was like fire against hers, blistering and when she felt the press of his wet lips at the side of her thigh, it was more than enough to send her into a fit of uncontrolled shivers, her eyes fluttering closed. 

Niall had both hands on her now, fitting around her curves along the outside of her shorts and camisole, his mouth tracing his desired path up her body; sucking and licking, nipping as low hums blew out onto her exposed skin. Joey had long given up on fighting anything when it came to Niall, the moment he touched her it was like the world around her melted away, her worries, her fears, every thought in her head was gone and replaced by the electricity that surged from his flesh to hers. 

With his one hand cupped around her bottom, pulling at the meaty skin and the other flattened to the front of her stomach, Niall had kissed his way up the side of her body, his mouth now attached to her neck. “What do you think you’re doing?” she managed to breathe out in a spritely tone, her eyes still pressed closed as the prickle of his beard roughed along her collarbone. 

“Nothin’,” Niall teased, his accent gruff against her dampened skin.

Joey faintly snorted. “Doesn’t feel like nothing,” she replied, her fingers coiling into the material of the pillow beneath her head. 

Laying his tongue flat, Niall slowly licked a stripe up to the dip below Joey’s ear and brushed her red hair out of the way with his hand. “I wanna taste.” 

She gasped and Niall pulled her earlobe between his teeth before sucking down further along her neck. Another smile slid over her lips as the solid weight of his body pressed against her. “A taste of what?” 

Lifting his mouth from her throat, Niall hovered his upper half over her a bit to peer down at her. Joey’s eyes popped open and she felt the pads of his fingers at her cheek, turning her face just enough to look up at him. A heat crashed through her at the sight of him; dark hair all disheveled with pieces hanging over his forehead and down into his eyes, his cheeks flushed and his lips swollen and glistening from his welcoming assault on her. “You,” he whispered. 

His thumb traced across her puffy bottom lip and Niall darted his darkened stare with hers as Joey shakily inhaled and parted her mouth, slipping her tongue over the tip of his finger. Joey watched Niall’s eyelids flutter, a disjointed moan breaking from his throat as she pulled his thumb between her lips and slowly sucked at it. “Jesus Christ,” he muttered as his thumb left her warm, wet mouth. “I’m tryin’ to tease you here, not the other way ‘round.” 

She giggled. “Well after today, maybe I should be the one asking to taste you.” 

“Maybe later,” he shot back with a quirk of his brow. His head dropped to her chest, Joey licking at her lips as she tipped her chin down to watch Niall playfully nibble at her covered breast. It was ticklish, the heat of his mouth and the tiny flick of his tongue over her clothed nipple and the young woman broke out in another soft fit of giggles. 

She gently carded her hand through the top of his hair, brushing the strands from his face as he peered up at her through the tops of his eyes. Those all consuming, heart crushing, soulful blue eyes. He leaned in again, pushing a rough kiss to her mouth, his tongue curling around hers. “Please, baby,” he then said, his low voice teetering on the edge of begging, “can I taste ya?” 

His hot breath soared over her lips, wet and stained with his feverish kisses, and Joey swallowed hard before shakily nodding her head. Niall wasted no time, hoisting his body off of hers and grabbing firmly around her hips to twist her lower half, forcing her onto her back. She sucked in a sharp breath, her tummy sinking in as Niall tucked his fingers into the waistband of her shorts, and began to yank them over her bum and down her legs. Her chest was rising high as she watched him, noticing the black of his pupils growing as he hungrily stared down at her, gnawing at his lip. Joey loved seeing him like that with her, where he just couldn’t help himself, overcome with desire and hunger for her. To have his mouth on her, to touch her and devour her. To fuck her and claim her. It was filthy and gritty, almost feral like and Joey could feel her center aching, already dripping for him as he carefully tugged her underwear all the way off her feet. 

Niall rested back on his hunches, hooded eyes dropping to the blossoming apex between her legs as his large hands rubbed along the tops of her thighs. “Ya know, I was thinkin’,” he began, but paused to lick across his lips as he slowly spread Joey’s knees wider apart. “Fuck, your cunt is so pretty.” 

The end bit came out in a low, growly whisper, his breaths choking up in his throat as his stare ravaged over her lower half. Joey could see the heavy rise and fall of his chest under the material of his t-shirt, the blush punching rapidly to his cheeks and it drove her wild to know that she had that power over him. “Was thinkin’ though,” he started again, his attention still focused between her legs as his fingers slipped across the manicured patch of hair that crowned her throbbing pink center. It made Joey gasp faintly and fling her arms up above her head, clinging onto the arm of the couch. 

“Maybe we could, like, do a,...uh, a weekend away?” he went on, her eyes fluttering closed as his thumb rubbed over her sensitive nub. It made her thighs quiver. “A road trip...yeah, a road trip.” His voice cracked and he swallowed hard, watching as he slowly trailed his fingertips through the slick wetness between her folds. Joey couldn’t help but instinctively roll her hips down into the cushion. “Could invite, uh, Alexis...Chris too, maybe?” 

Joey’s lips parted and she opened her eyes as the heat of his touch left her swollen skin. She watched as he brought his fingers to his mouth, licking the taste of her off the tips before putting them right back on her. A moan edged from her throat at the feeling and Niall flicked his eyes to her face. He gave her a devilish smirk and it sent a wave of carnality crashing through her. “Could, um, maybe…” he began mumbling again as he eased his two fingers inside her. 

Joey’s head tipped back into the pillow, her teeth sinking down into her bottom lip as she struggled to catch her breath. His thick fingers hooked up as he slowly worked them inside her, and her legs fought off the trembles that sparked all the way down to her curling toes. “Go to Joshua Tree or up north to Yosemite...whatever, um,...ya want is fine,” he stuttered out, a soft hum following his words as the fingers of his other hand dug into the flesh of her thigh. 

Joey rolled her hips towards him even more, the fire sparking in her belly as Niall continued to finger her. The sounds of him playing in her wetness filled their ears, drowning out most of what he was saying and she absolutely could not take it anymore. “Niall…” she quietly breathed out. 

His eyes flew back up to hers, dark and seedy, and she could see his mouth watering for her, pooling at the corner of his lips. “Yeah, baby…”

She sucked in a rattled breath. “Stop talking and put your mouth on me,” she demanded, nodding her head. 

Niall huffed out a low chuckle before pushing at the inside of her thigh with his one palm to open her even more, his head dipping down between her legs. That split second of waiting for the slick wet-hot of his mouth to touch her was excruciating, her body already shaking in anticipation that when his tongue finally landed on her clit, the loudest, most sensuous, spine-tingling moan escaped her lips. Niall smirked against her heat upon hearing her, the arousal quickly building up inside him as his tongue curled and sucked, pulling her soft sensitive nub into his mouth. Joey’s hips collided with his face, urging his tongue to bury deeper into her folds, as he pushed his two fingers in and out of her swollen center. 

She dropped a hand down between her legs, slipping her fingers through his hair as Niall held her steady with a splayed palm at her lower tummy. His mouth worked at her, ate at her, his visceral hums combining lewdly with the sounds of his tongue tasting at her. Her eyes were squeezed tight, head tilted back and she rocked along with the motions of his mouth, sucking and licking, his fingers burying inside her and tapping at her upper wall. Broken moans zipped through the dense space around them, and Joey strained to catch even the smallest amount of air in her heaving lungs. 

But Niall didn’t let up, he never let up. He could feel the throb of her core against the flat of his tongue, taste her sweet wetness that exploded from her and leaked down his hand and he ate at her even more, harder, moaning against her. His tongue lagged up and down her swollen folds, swirling around the soft opening where his fingers were stretching her and Joey’s body buckled as Niall moved his mouth back up and wrapped his lips around her clit. 

“Fuck, oh my God,” she cried out, fighting the urge to clamp her trembling thighs around his face. The faint burn of his beard lashed across her flushed skin, heightening the feel of him on her and as Niall twirled his tongue around her most sensitive part, sucking and sucking, his thick fingers moving inside her, she was nearly black out delirious. 

Joey opened her eyes and tried to focus up at her ceiling, hazy and grey before she slowly slipped her stare down to him. Gasping at the sight, Niall’s darkened gaze was already fixed on hers, his mouth clamped around her pulsing heat. She twisted her fingers into his hair, moving her hips along with his tongue as the sparks of her orgasm began to build fast in her tummy. He was good, so fucking good, and her lips hung open as he slid his mouth down, pulling his fingers from her to tenderly lick inside of her. Pressing his two hands to the backs of her thighs, Niall gently pushed her legs towards her chest, opening her up more as he buried his face against her. 

Joey couldn't take it anymore, her body convulsing, her head thrown back into the couch in low, desperate whimpers. “Niall...baby...please…”

He worked her over, dipping his tongue inside her, swallowing the taste of her that collected on the tip as he licked his way back to her clit. He knew she was close. Niall knew the way her body reacted, the way she sounded and looked as she began to climb and spill over that mind-numbing edge of release and he kept his eyes glued to her face. She was warm and sweet on his tongue, every part of her better than the last and he swirled and flicked and sucked and used everything he had to ease her right to that place she needed to be. 

Slipping his two fingers back inside her, she gripped tighter into his hair, her body writhing, rocking against him in loud gasps of air and Niall knew…she was there. A flood of cries came from her bared throat, her legs crumbling, her sticky body melding and falling into the motions of her wicked release as Niall kept his mouth on her, kept his fingers inside her and worked her through. There was nothing more erotic, more arousing to him than seeing her get off. Seeing her body react to him, her mind losing all control and Niall started to throb in his shorts, his own need to feel her, to be buried inside her, growing more intense by the second. 

Joey soared through her unparalleled high like a gliding bird weaving in and out of the clouds, her mind muddy with fervor and her skin burning under his touch. Niall was inexplicably good with his mouth, good at so many things, but his mouth...was something of dreams. Giggling faintly under her breath as she came down, she could feel the warmth of Niall’s mouth still oh-so-slowly eating at her, slipping down to her opening to lick away at her orgasm. Joey sighed, she sighed loud and contentedly, easing her legs back around his face. Niall laughed, his hands swarming her skin as he dragged them up and down her thighs, pressing small soft kisses at every unmarked patch of flesh he could see. The creases of her legs, her inner thighs, at the peak of her pelvic bone. 

He was so sweet with her, so tender and Joey peered down at him as she combed her fingers through his hair, brushing it from his eyes. “God, you really know how to go down on a girl,” she mumbled, still trying to settle her breaths. 

Niall had lifted his head up to look at her, but pinched his eyes closed in a snort. “Perhaps a specialty of mine, my love.”

Joey quickly nodded. “That’s an understatement.” He quirked a brow. Licking over her lips, the young woman slid her fingers from his hair and dragged them slowly down the side of his face. “Are you hard now?” 

Niall tucked his bottom lip into his mouth before peeking down between Joey’s legs again. She was soaking wet, her folds swollen and bright pink and Niall was sure that if he hadn’t been hard before, just looking at her like that would have done the trick. “A bit hard,” he then commented, “but nothin’ new since I’m always hard when I’m around ya.” 

Joey curled her upper body in a laugh, reaching down to cradle Niall’s jaw in her hands to bring him up to her. Sliding his body between her spread legs as he laid on top of her, her lips found his in a kiss. A smile broke on her mouth as she felt just how thick Niall had grown for her. “Guess we’re gonna have to take care of that, huh?” 

He nodded as he slipped his tongue in her mouth. “Then we can talk about that weekend trip,” he casually mentioned against her lips as if he hadn’t just had his face between her legs. Niall inched his mouth away and rested his forehead to hers, delicately tangling his fingers in the side of her hair. Joey stared up at him, her small hands moving down to cup around his sweaty neck, feeling the race of his pulse against her palm. His heavy lidded eyes swarmed over hers, and she filled her lungs with the scent of her that lingered on his tepid breath, causing a familiar warmth to trickle back into her tummy. She was a complete mess for him.

Tipping her chin slightly, Joey enticed him into another kiss. “Yes, but first I wanna make you come.” 

•

Niall’s suggestion of a weekend away, a road trip somewhere, was actually a really good idea. With his album launch creeping up, and the fact that he would be too busy for practically anything else during those couple months, he was very adamant on making sure they had a relaxing and fun little getaway before all the chaos set in. Even if it was just for the night. 

But with their demanding schedules, it did end up taking a bit more planning than they had anticipated. They both thought it would be a blast to invite Alexis and Chris along, who had only met once but seemed to get along well enough. The group would take Niall’s car, leave early Saturday morning, drive up the coast towards Santa Cruz and then make their way towards Yosemite. They hoped to stay at this super nice, all-inclusive lodge for the night that Niall had made reservations for and then make it back home by Sunday evening. That was the initial plan anyway. 

•

“So, Alexis really can’t make it?” Niall asked Joey, as he turned to lock up his front door. She, along with Chris, were standing on his front porch, the boys’ overnight bags hung on their shoulders and Joey’s small rolling suitcase, teetering behind her. She kept her stare on Niall, watching as he checked that the locks were indeed locked up properly before spinning around to face her. 

He gave her a half smile, and Joey chewed at her bottom lip, shrugging lightly. “No, I guess not,” Joey went on to explain, trailing after Niall as they began to walk towards his front gate. “She called me late last night, said she couldn’t find anyone to watch her son, so…”

“So, it’ll be just us three then?” Niall commented, stopping by the gate to unlock it. 

Joey peeked over her shoulder at Chris who was behind her, and he gave her a wink and chuckled. She rolled her eyes back to Niall and slumped her shoulders. “Great,” she mumbled, “no one told me I would be stuck in a car alone with you two clowns for the next two days.” 

A loud laugh belted from Niall as he stepped through the gate and held it open for his friends to walk through. “Yeah, but, darlin’, imagine all the fun we’re gonna have…” 

Joey paused as she went to pass Niall, her eyes peering up to meet his. They appeared to be an almost iridescent blue in the soft morning glow of the rising sun, like fresh dew on the petal of a Forget Me Not, and it was nearly breathtaking. She smiled up at him. “Mmm, I can’t wait.”

Grabbing around her waist, Niall moved in closer to Joey and pressed a kiss to her lips. Her touch reached up to rest at the back of his neck, deepening the kiss before they heard a tiny groan from next to them. “Gross,” Chris teased as Joey and Niall inched back from each other and glanced over at him, “I’m gonna have to deal with this sappy love shit all weekend, aren’t I?” 

Joey tipped her head in towards Niall, resting it just under his chin in a giggle. “Yes,” they both admitted, catching each other's stare before Joey raised to her tiptoes to plant another peck on his waiting lips. Chris laughed, shaking his head in jest as he shuffled past them over to Niall’s car. Joey followed with Niall right behind her, pressing the button on his key fob to open the trunk so Chris could throw his bag inside. “So, Chris...” Joey mentioned as she handed her suitcase to Niall, “are you telling me that you didn’t have a lady friend you could have invited for the weekend?” 

Placing his hands on his hips, Chris watched as Niall hoisted the two other bags into the back of the car. He shook his head. “Unfortunately, no. I’m as single as they come these days.” 

Joey crossed her arms over her chest, narrowing her eyes in a low hum. Niall shot his stare over to her, knowing there was something brewing in that little brain of hers and he chuckled under his breath as he slammed the back of the trunk closed. Just as Joey glanced over her shoulder to Niall, a grin sliding across her bare lips, the sound of tires screeching to a halt right next to them nearly caused the redhead to jump out of her skin. 

Wide eyes flew around to see what the ruckus was, only to be met with a Toyota Corolla rocking to a park near Niall’s tall fence and Alexis jumping out of the front seat. “Oh my God,” she loudly choked out, waving her hand in the air as she slammed her drivers door closed and opened the one to the backseat. “Oh my God, I made it. I totally didn’t think I was gonna make it.” 

“Alexis!” Joey called out, a big smile edging over her lips as she took a step towards her friend. “I thought you weren’t coming?” 

The blonde girl huffed, rolling her eyes as she swung her bag over her shoulder and shut her car door, locking it up. “I wasn’t! Well...I didn’t think I was,” she continued, stepping around the back of her car and over to the group that was circled at the back of Niall’s vehicle. “Lincoln’s dad got really sick yesterday and had to cancel his weekend, and I was freaking out ‘cause I didn’t know what the hell to do with Lincoln, ‘cause my sister is out of town too, so like...I was truly fucked.” 

They all lightheartedly laughed as Niall opened his trunk up again, taking Alexis' bag from her to toss it in the back with the rest of them. “But…I was able to sweet talk my neighbor into taking him for the night.” She smiled, happy with her accomplishment and peeked over at Chris. “Hey, we’ve met before, right?” 

Chris shoved his hands down into his short pockets, and gave her a nod. “Yeah….yeah, um, Niall’s album party a few–”

“Shit, yeah, that’s right!” she smiled. “Good to see you, again.” 

Chris licked over his lips as they tugged into a smile, his cheek ruddying into a pink hue. “You too.” 

Peeking over at Niall, Joey raised her brows and he puffed out a knowing chuckle. “Alright,” he then spoke up with a clap of his hands, “y’all ready to go?” 

“Yes!” they all sing-songed in unison, laughing as everyone dispersed to their respective sides of the car and climbed in. 

•

The drive up the coast was something out of a daydream. The California sun shimmering along the peaks of the swelling waves as the warm salty air soaked into their skin. All four windows were rolled down and the music was blaring, the breeze tangling through their loose hair and swallowing the half-shouted words to whatever songs came up on the seemingly never-ending playlist. It was peaceful and uncluttered, the four of them joking and laughing over old memories, happily oblivious to all the new ones they would be making. 

Niall had been driving most of the way, his blue eyes hidden behind a pair of sunglasses, but his hand steadily wrapped around Joey’s. He’d bring it up to his mouth every so often, placing small kisses along the bridge of her knuckles and she would giggle and smile, Niall not lost on the summery glow of her sun-kissed skin, or the way the wind blew through her red hair, reminding him of the flickering flames of a midnight bonfire. She was absolutely gorgeous and Niall was completely spellbound. He couldn’t even remember a time that he would look at a girl and feel that cataclysmic rupture in his chest, that swirling heat in his belly, that starry-eyed dreamy state in his head, take over him. Not in the longest time. 

Not until he first met Joey. 

“What?” she softly giggled at him, noticing his gaze kept wandering over to her instead of focusing on the road ahead. 

Niall breathed out a smirk, and gently shook his head. “Nothin’,” he remarked, “you just look beautiful, that’s all.” 

She bashfully tipped her face down, the pink rushing to her cheeks as a faint, and teasing, ‘awww’ played out from the backseat. Joey playfully glared back at Alexis over her shoulder and the blonde glanced at Chris in a snort before they both threw their heads back in a laugh. “You two better behave,” Joey jokingly scolded with a pointed finger. “I know how y’all are…” 

“Hey, we’re just admirin�� the sweet and untainted love between the two of ya,” Chris commented with raised brows. 

Niall chuckled at the response as Alexis chimed back in. “Yeah...it's all in good fun, Jo. Us singletons back here are clearly just jealous.”

“Yeah, exactly,” Chris huffed. 

Joey rolled her eyes, and was just about to retaliate with a snarky comment when she noticed a car inching very close to the back of Niall’s through the back window. Her stare went big when the blue and white flashing lights came on, a lone ‘whoop whoop’ sound sending all eyes flying to the back window of the vehicle. “Ah, fuck,” Niall grumbled, his stare shooting between his mirrors and the road ahead as he attempted to find a good place to pull over. 

Joey turned around in her seat and peeked over at him. “God, what’d you do?” she said, holding in her laugh with the press of her fingertips to her lips. 

Niall shook his head as he merged off the side of the road and put his car in park. “Who the fuck knows…” 

“Maybe they just want an autograph,” Chris chuckled. 

The small group burst into stifled laughter as the officer stepped up to the drivers side of the car, Niall rolling the window down. “Driver’s license and registration, please,” the officer instructed. 

“Uh,...yeah, sure,” Niall replied, reaching in front of Joey’s bent knees into the glove box. He pulled out the required certificate and his license and handed it to the officer. “Why, um...why am I bein’ pulled over?” 

The officer looked over Niall’s drivers license and then tipped her face down, peering at him over the top rim of her sunglasses. “Speed limit is 65 and you were topping 86.” 

“Oh.” 

“I’m going to run these through my system,” she went on, holding up the two little cards for Niall to see, “I’ll be right back.” 

Niall nodded. “Okay, yeah, uh...thanks.” 

The officer walked back towards her squad car and Niall turned to look over at Joey. Her eyes went big and she reached over and gently rubbed down his bicep. “Great start to the weekend, huh?” Joey said, her voice gentle with her banter. 

Niall raised a shoulder and let out a sigh. “Well, it can’t get any worse than this, right?” 

•

To say Niall was wrong, would have been an understatement. He was given a $367 speeding ticket–one that he very much tried to talk his way out of–and after stopping for a late lunch in Santa Cruz, the group was finally headed towards Yosemite. But the day was too beautiful, and Niall in particular felt they were wasting it away just being in the car, and so they decided to make another little pit stop. Chris, who had been driving since their stop for lunch, pulled over alongside a tree lined trail and all of them clambered out of the car, stretching their bodies a bit before coming up with the brilliant idea to take a short, scenic hike through the redwoods. Everyone was gung-ho over the idea, and the group excitedly took off in a single line between the tall trees. 

The friends walked inwards for a good twenty minutes, weaving through the trees along the trail, chatting and stopping to take pictures and selfies, before Alexis casually mentioned that she had felt a few random raindrops splatter at the skin of her arm. Coming to a stop, they all tipped their heads back to look up through the sparse branches of the trees. It was only then that they noticed the thick grey clouds that had taken residence across the previous sapphire sky, which without warning, completely opened up and started to grace them with rain. Not just a sprinkle, not just a little shower–a torrential downpour. Screams came spurting out from the girls, Niall grabbing onto Joey’s hand as they all spun around and started to run back towards the car. 

The rain was pelting against their faces, drenching their clothes and soaking their hair and by the time they got back to the car, it looked like they had all fallen into a lake fully dressed. Scrambling into the dry car, the four sat in complete silence staring ahead as the dense rain smacked loudly against the windshield and the thunder began to crack in the sky above them. Their soaked chests heaved as they all struggled to catch their breath from running all the way back through the twisted woods, before Chris started to laugh. It was a chaotic cackle and it caused the group to all glance around at one another, each of them quickly realizing just how ridiculous and miserable they all truly looked, and by that point, no one could hold in their laughter. 

Chris, who was once again in the driver's seat, started the engine and pulled away, Niall fumbling around in the backseat for a random blanket he had stowed away in the trunk. He tugged it out from under one of the bags and handed it to Joey, who was sitting next to him, letting her at least dry off her face before she gave it to Alexis. They all passed the blanket around, drying themselves off with it as best they could as Chris attempted to continue their journey. But the rain was so heavy that the windshield wipers couldn’t keep up, posing a driving hazard as Chris could barely see beyond the front of the car. They all quickly decided it was better, and safer, if they pulled over to wait out the storm a bit. 

Both Alexis and Joey, who had spent their entire lives living in California, had rarely seen anything like that before. And it came out of nowhere. One second the bright sun beaming down on the friends as they sat at a seaside cafe, devouring sandwiches and fizzy water, the next dark clouds and roaring thunder, a flood of rainwater beating down them as they ran for safety and warmth through a sparse forest. For sure they had all checked the weather before their trip and there was no sign, or prediction of rain for the entire weekend, so to be surprised, and a bit annoyed, by the circumstances, was understandable. 

The rain finally cleared a bit, enough for Chris to be able to drive anyway, nearly thirty minutes later and the still very much soaked, and restless, group took off, on the road towards their destination for the night. Niall had the perfect place for them to stay, making sure to book a reservation nearly the second everyone was on board for their getaway. It was a gorgeous and luxurious lodge right inside the main valley of the park, Niall had stayed there once before a few years back, and knew right away it was a place that he wanted Joey to experience. Fine dining, exquisite drinks and a wondrous view from every room, he was bursting with excitement as they pulled up to the front. Climbing out of the car, Chris tossed Niall the keys as they all made their way into the lobby. 

“What-...” Niall paused to pull in a deep breath, pressing his lips into a line as he sought to calm himself before he started again. “What do you mean you don’t have my reservation? I made it online. I have the email receipt!”

The concierge behind the desk shook her head as she continued typing at her computer, trying to search the system. “I’m sorry sir, I cannot find your name or reservation anywhere in our guest directory. It seems to have been some kind of mishap with our online services.” 

“A mishap?” 

“Yes, sir. We are very sorry about that and for a gesture of our appreciation, we can offer you a 10% discount on your next booking.”

Niall ran his hand up through his dampened hair and let out a sigh. “Okay, so...can we just book a couple rooms now then?” 

“I’m sorry sir, we only take reservations.” 

Rolling his eyes, Niall held out his hand. “But I did make a reservation.” 

“I understand that sir, but we don’t have you in our system as confirming that reservation.” 

“So, what you’re sayin’ ya won’t let me book any rooms here in person? When your system was the one that messed up the reservation that I had made in the first place?” 

The concierge thought for a moment. “I...I guess I could check to see if we have any rooms available for the night.” 

Niall nodded. “Yes, do that, please.”

The lady tapped across her keyboard, her brows buckling slightly before she looked back at Niall. “I’m really sorry, sir, but it seems that all of our rooms are actually booked full at the moment.” 

“All of them?”

Hearing the slight exasperation in his tone, Joey shot her stare over to Alexis and Chris who were standing just behind the couple. They pulled their faces in, and the redhead bit at her lip as she took a step up to Niall at the counter. She wrapped her hand around his inner bicep and gingerly squeezed, Niall glancing over at her and giving her a half smile. “It’s okay, Niall, we can just...find someplace else to stay. I’m sure they’ll have rooms.” 

“Actually,” the concierge interjected, Niall and Joey moving their attention to her, “every accommodation in the park is currently full. There is an annual park celebration going on this weekend, reservations to the hotels are made months in advance.” 

All four let out simultaneous groans. “But there are plenty of…smaller places outside of the park that you could try that do not require advanced reservations. I can give you a list of those if you would like?” 

Peeking back at their two friends, Niall puffed out his cheeks as he loudly groaned and Joey raised her brows. “Guys?” she questioned, wanting to know their thoughts on the matter.

Alexis gave them a shrug, and faintly shook her head. “I don’t really care where we go, I just need a damn shower.” 

Chris glanced at Alexis and crossed his arms over his chest as he nodded in agreement. “And food.”

Niall twisted his head back to the lady standing behind the front desk and sighed under his breath. “Sure, I’ll take the list.” 

•

“This can’t be it.” 

Niall, behind the wheel again, flicked his stare down to the list of accommodations that the concierge had given him. They had eventually reached a place that showed ‘vacancy’, driving for almost an hour along the outskirts of the park as the sun had long sat and turned to night around them and the rain had finally given up. His blue eyes fanned back up to the neon sign that hung above the small lobby as he pulled up out front. He caught Joey’s widened stare for a moment before they both inquisitively, and drearily, peered up at the building through her drizzled passenger window. 

Redwood Inn.

“It doesn’t look...terrible,” Joey mumbled, trying her best to keep their spirits up. “Could be worse.” 

Chris scoffed. “Yeah, could be like those hostels ya stayed in when ya went backpackin’, Niall.” 

“To be fair, this place looks worse,” he grumbled, his gaze flicking down the row of one floor motel rooms, many looking unkempt and rundown. A bit of trash was strewn about the parking lot, old broken chairs sitting outside the room doors, and a gross, dirty mattress leaned up against the dumpster in the corner of the lot. Niall sighed as the lightbulb above the lobby door flickered. “This day has all gone to shit.” 

“Look,” Alexis chimed in with an attempt at some positivity, pointing out of her side of the car, “at least they have a pool.” 

Joey looked over at Niall and she reached out to him, squeezing her hand around his. “It’s okay, babe. Don’t worry, it’s just for the night, ya know? We can take some showers, put on some dry clothes, and I’m pretty sure I saw a convenience store, like, a mile back. We can get some snacks and some cheap alcohol and just get totally wasted.” 

Niall chuckled lightly at her comment and peered down at his lap. “It will be fine, I promise,” she softly finished. 

Slowly nodding his head, he smiled over at her. “You’re right, love. I’m sorry, I’m just…stressin’ over shit, but it’s fine,” he paused and glanced back at their friends, “everythin’s good.” 

Joey smiled back at him, and Niall darted his stare with hers. He felt like he could breathe freely again, a warmth easing back into him and he leaned over and pushed a kiss to her lips. “Thank you,” he whispered against her mouth, causing the girl to smirk into another sweet kiss. 

•

After splitting up the rooms–only two rooms left at the inn and both only containing one queen sized bed–the guys headed back up to the convenience store to grab some necessities while the ladies both hopped into their much needed showers. The foursome gathered in Niall and Joey’s room a bit later, everyone clean and dry, and they were finally able to finally relax. The rooms weren’t as horrible as everyone had thought they’d be, at least to the outside eye and nevertheless, served its purpose for the night. They munched on snacks and a pizza that the guys had brought back and sipped on cheap liquor and convenience store wine. Alexis had brought a pack of cards with her, and they all sat around the small round table playing Rummy for a little while, laughing and somehow making a drinking game out of it. It actually turned out to be a fun night. 

At some point when the moon was full and brightly hanging overhead, Niall and Joey snuck out of their room and over to the empty pool area, leaving Chris and Alexis playfully squabbling over cards. Grabbing her hand in his, Niall slipped his fingers between hers and led her through the metal gate surrounding the pool and over to a single lounge chair that was set along the side. He sat himself down and bent his legs up slightly to settle Joey down against him, right between his spread knees. She leaned back into his chest, relishing in the stillness of the vast wilderness surrounding them and the calmness of the late night. 

Joey rested her head on the front of Niall’s shoulder as his strong arms wrapped around her upper body. Locking her hands in his, they sat quiet and contended, wordless, Joey being able to feel the methodic thumps of Niall’s heart against her back and the steady rhythms of his breaths at the side of her hair. Her eyes sweetly closed, and she could all but hold her smile in as she curled her fingers around his. Niall felt her body loosen–easing into his frame like the final puzzle piece that had just been waiting for its time and he nuzzled his face down against the side of hers, placing a kiss to her temple. 

Joey hummed out at the feeling, a tiny buzz from the alcohol swirling in her head, and she softly sighed as she opened her eyes and stared up into the dark midnight sky. Besides the bright glow of the moon, the sky was dotted with stars, thousands of them, more than Joey had ever seen before in her life and her stare flicked from one to the next, her mind whirling around the fact that they were millions of miles away but seemed so close. “It’s beautiful out here,” she breathed out. 

Niall tightened his arms around her and tipped his head to look up. “It is,” he replied, staring off into the galaxy of stars, “which is amazin’ after the disaster that was today…” 

She giggled. “It wasn’t that bad, babe. And it ended well. We all had fun.” Picking up their hands, Joey brought them to her mouth and pressed her lips against the front of his fingers. Her eyes closed as she kissed across the span of them. Niall had peeked down at her to watch, the corners of his mouth tugging up as her sweet lips touched over his skin. 

He reached up and cupped around her face as she finished, rubbing her cheek with his thumb. “Yeah, that’s true.” 

“And at least this wasn’t our first date,” she said.

Niall’s brows perked up and he caught her stare. “Oh Jesus Christ, could you imagine?” 

“It still would have been amazing,” she chuckled, reaching up behind her to caress the side of his neck. “But even with everything that happened, the night still turned out perfect. And we have tomorrow too. We can head into the park for a bit, it will be an adventure.” 

Leaning his head back on the lounge chair in a low rumbling laugh, Niall nodded. “Yeah, totally will be.”  

With her hazelnut eyes flickering back up into the sky, Joey nestled a bit deeper into Niall as he rested his cheek against the top of her head. She had never felt more at ease, more comfortable, more...in love with anyone before in her entire life. Joey swallowed hard at her realization, at the admittance of her feelings to herself in that very moment and she wondered if she should say anything. She wondered if he even felt the same way. She wondered if she should even feel that way. They had yet to say that to one another, to say it out loud and Joey pulled in a deep breath as she slipped her hands down the span of Niall’s arms that were still encompassing her upper body, once again, tangling her fingers in his. “Niall?” she quietly asked.

“Yeah, my love?” 

“Do you...ever, like, think about your future?” 

Crinkling his brows slightly, Niall lifted his cheek from its place on her head and tipped his face down to look at her. She continued to stare up into the night sky. “Yeah...sometimes,” he replied truthfully, licking across his lips. “Why?” 

Joey lightly shrugged. “Just...curious. You know, like, where do you wanna be in five years, what do you wanna be doing…who do you wanna be with…”

Niall pushed out a breathy chuckle at the last bit and it all became suddenly clear exactly what Joey was referring to. It wasn’t that he hadn’t thought about it, about her or them, actually it was quite the opposite, he had very much thought about their future together, but at that point, only dating for five weeks, he was way too cautious about bringing anything up to her. He didn’t want to scare her off, to make her feel obligated or pressured in any way. And he still wasn’t even sure how Joey really felt about him. 

But Niall just smiled down at her. “Well, let’s see. In five years, I wanna put out at least two more albums, have a sold out arena tour–or two,” he paused to chuckle, Joey giggling along with him as she rolled her head on his shoulder, right up under his chin. “I do wanna get married at some point, have a family…” 

“Yeah?” Joey mumbled. 

His mouth was resting against her hair. “Yeah,” he whispered. “Is that somethin’ ya want, too?” 

Joey bit at her lip, her eyes skimming across the shadow of the moon along the calm pool water. “Yeah, I–”

Her words were interrupted by some loud laughter, both Joey and Niall lifting their heads to peer over to the clatter coming from out front of their motel room door. Their eyes went big as they saw Alexis nearly jumping into Chris’ arms, mouths crashing and hands going frantic in a heated kiss as he clumsily backed them into their room right next door. Niall’s mouth fell open, Joey stifling her shocked laugh as they watched Alexis fumbly kick their room door close behind them. What a night it had turned out to be. 

“Well, then...” Niall huffed. 

“Should’ve guessed that was gonna happen,” Joey said between her giggles, settling back in against Niall. 

“Those crazy kids.” 

They both chuckled as Niall leaned his face back down against the side of Joey’s, his lips just brushing at the corner of her mouth. “I just want ya to know that I care about ya a lot, the feelin’s I have for ya, Jo...I haven’t felt in a really long time, and...if I could spend the rest of me life just sittin’ here, under the stars, with you in me arms, I’d be the happiest man alive.” 

Turning her face slightly to catch his stare, Joey’s eyes fluttered as his warm breath seared over her lips. There was a slight pause, a second where Joey just relished in the feel of his lips just brushing at hers before she tucked her hand up around the back of his neck and pushed her mouth to his in a tender, but heart-stopping kiss. 

•

The next morning came early, the bright sun peeking past the slightly frayed curtains into their rooms as the set alarm on Niall’s phone went off. Joey rolled over in the bed, cuddling up against him as she heard the muffled sound of Chris’s alarm going off as well. Forcing themselves up and out of bed, the couple begrudgingly got themselves ready, packing up their bags before heading outside to load them up in the car. 

The group had already come up with a plan for that day the night before–wake up early, stop for breakfast and then into the park to join in the festivities and hike to one of the many gorgeous waterfalls before heading back home later that afternoon. Niall and Joey had just hoisted their suitcases into the trunk of the car when the squeak of a metal room door caught their attention. Both sets of eyes, and bitten back mischievous grins, locked in on Chris and Alexis as they exited their room, overnight bags in tow. 

Alexis immediately caught Joey’s more than curious gaze and she started to blush as the two walked towards the car. “Morning, guys. Have a good night?” Joey playfully greeted, with no reply. Trying their best not to make what had happened the previous night too obvious, Chris quietly grabbed Alexis’ bag from her to lift them into the back of the car as she silently stepped around Joey to climb into the backseat. Chris followed suit on his side and Joey and Niall were left standing at the open trunk, staring at one another in bewilderment. 

Niall chuckled and shook his head as he slammed the back closed and they both walked around to get into the car. Once settled and buckled, Joey twisted around in her seat and flicked her stare between their two friends who had definitely gotten to know each other just a little bit better the night before. Joey softly chewed at her lip as her eyes went back and forth, Alexis and Chris attempting to ignore the intense silence that was eating at the small group as Niall turned to focus his attention on the pair as well. 

Joey gently cleared her throat. “So…last night–”

“Oh for fucks sake,” Alexis shouted in frustrated confession, looking over at the two pairs of inquisitive eyes that were burning holes into them from the front seats. “It was the cheap ass wine, okay? You know how horny I get with cheap alcohol!” 

Tipping her face down against the seat in a chuckle, it wasn’t long before the entire car was joining Joey in laughter, any awkwardness that had been trying to set in, completely wiped away. Chris rubbed his hand over his face and sucked in a settling breath. “C’mon, let’s go get breakfast, I’m fuckin’ starvin’.”

Niall slipped his sunglasses onto his face, Joey glancing over at him as he looked back at Chris through the rearview mirror. “I bet you are, mate,” he teased with a coy smirk, “I bet you are…”

[delimeful]

cut clean from the dream (1/3)

warnings: person being treated as merchandise, mentions of murder/injury, panic, fear, crying, sharp implements, feeling trapped

A small bell’s ring echoed through the small store as the door was pushed open, the first customer of the day. 

Logan couldn’t see them from his shelf, but he heard the rapid footsteps of the shopkeep emerge right on schedule, approaching them with vigor. 

“Hello! Anything in particular I can help you with today?”

“Uh…” An uncertain voice, low in contrast to the shopkeeper's shrillness. 

Logan sighed, tuning the conversation out and turning away from the mid-morning light. The rounded bottle he was in wasn’t great for sleeping, which was a shame, seeing as being trapped as merchandise in a local potions shop was already enough of a nightmare. 

He’d love to pretend that he had no idea how this had happened, but what it really came down to was his own foolishness. It had only taken investigating the bag of a hitchhiker who came back earlier than expected, and his habit of trying to glean knowledge from humans got him well and truly captured, passed from hand to hand in sales until he wound up here. Far from home, and everything he’d ever known, and Patton.

His gossamer butterfly wings fluttered, agitated, and he sat back up. There was really no point trying to get back to sleep with such thoughts hammering against his skull, and the shopkeep was busy jumping around the store with loud, heavy steps anyways. He rested his chin on his hand to watch the man go by, figuring he could at least see what this new customer looked like. 

He didn’t expect the two humans to stop right in front of him. He stiffened, suddenly straining to hear the words properly through the glass. 

“-have any stock left of severed wings, unfortunately, our next order comes in around three or four days. However, as you can see here, we do have a fairy with wings intact! It’ll be a little pricier, obviously, but I can give you a discount for the trouble!” 

The customer was a tall, skinny figure draped in black from his cloak-like apparel to his makeup, staring at Logan with dark purple eyes. Definitely a witch, going by the sigil tattoos along the patches of visible exposed skin. Logan narrowed his eyes back at him, trying to look like trouble. It’d be much easier to just come back after a few days than deal with the delicate process of shredding the wings from a fairy. The witch dragged his gaze over to the shopkeep, looking exhausted. 

“I don’t need a whole fairy. You seriously don’t have any wings in stock? Like, in the back or anything?” He asked, looking already resigned to the answer. 

“Afraid not, that is a rather rare ingredient with the elusiveness of fairies.” The shopkeep hummed. “Is this a budget thing? If you’re willing to wait a few hours, I can call in our alchemist and have him harvest this fairy and get you just the wings for a lower price.” 

Logan felt the color drain from his face, hopes shattered. He looked away from the human’s piercing gaze, trying to keep the dizzying panic from overwhelming him. He’d heard the stories. He’d known it would turn out this way since he got captured. It wasn’t a surprise, just an unpleasant eventuality.   

“Ugh.” The witch pinched the bridge of his nose with a sigh. “Just… I’ll take the fairy.” 

“Excellent!” The shopkeep clapped cheerily as Logan’s stomach dropped. He whisked the glass bottle off the shelf, hurrying over to the register and leaving Logan sprawled on the clear bottom of it, watching the ground below whiz by. He grimaced as the bottle was set down, shoving against the glass wall to prop himself back up and scoop his glasses up off the bottom of the bottle. 

The transaction took place over his head, and then long fingers wrapped around the glass, and he was lifted up again, slower this time. The bottle was carefully tucked into a pocket of the cloak, and everything went dark and muffled. For a while, Logan’s world was reduced to the small gap of light and noise from the pocket opening, swaying with the momentum of the human’s steps. 

He pressed up against the lid of the bottle despite knowing it was futile. The enchantment on it held strong, and would remain that way until it was opened from the outside by his new captor. He’d only have one chance at escape. He’d have to use it wisely. 

The noise overhead died down, and a door thudded closed. There was some muffled conversation, another door, and then finally quiet. Logan braced himself just in time for the hand to grab the neck of the bottle, pulling him back into the light. 

Even after the darkness of the pocket, the room wasn’t blinding. It seemed dimly lit, heavy black curtains over the windows and halloween-themed fairy lights strung on the walls. Logan blinked. It was still the summer months, was it not?

His attention was drawn back to the witch as he set the bottle on his desk, sighing as he sat heavily on the chair in front of it. Logan refused to flinch as he leaned in to look at the bottle, face warped oddly by the glass. The witch scrubbed his hands through his hair and sighed again, pulling a piece of wide parchment out and scrawling a sigil on it with a red ink pen that smelled suspiciously of iron. 

A moment later, Logan’s prison was finally being opened, and he stumbled as the jar was tilted on its side, opening resting on the human’s palm. He seized the opportunity, kicking off the glass wall to propel himself out of the jar into fresh air. 

A second after he flitted out, there was a sudden yank on his leg, and he found himself dragged down to the desk below by a shackle made of thick, shadowy magic. 

“Yeah, thought that might happen.” The witch said, voice resonating through Logan now that he wasn’t hearing it from behind a wall of glass. The shackle finished retracting back to the sigil, leaving him pinned down by his leg, and the witch pushed him over with a finger. Logan had the sense to flare his wings out so they wouldn’t get crumpled painfully beneath him, but this left him flat on his back and vulnerable. He shuddered, wings slapping against the wood ineffectively. 

Above him, the witch was casually pulling some kind of tool from a drawer, and Logan felt a flare of irritation break through his fear. He opened his mouth before he could think better of it. “You could not just wait for three measly days? Truly?   

The witch paused, looking down at him with a raised eyebrow. Logan refused to cower, even when the witch leaned his elbows on the desk, arms bracketing either side of him. He glared back despite the chills running down his spine, and the witch snorted.

“Big attitude for someone so small.” He muttered, but he looked tiredly amused rather than angry. “I can’t wait three days, actually, because this project is due in two.”  

Great. A procrastinating student was going to be the one to kill him, after trying to learn was what got him into this mess in the first place. He let his head thunk back down onto the desk, eyes stinging with frustrated tears.

“Tell me you at least know how to… how to harvest my wings.” Logan said, bile rising in his throat. He forced himself to keep speaking, his voice coming out sharp. “If I have to spend my last living moments watching an amateur mangle my body, I will be very unhappy.”  

“Hey, I’m no amateur. I wouldn’t have bought a whole goddamn fairy if I didn’t know how to...” He gestured vaguely. “You know.” 

“Reassuring.” Logan responded dryly, and the witch gave him a half-hearted glare before pulling out a few metallic square rocks. 

Weights, Logan realized as they were placed at the outer corners of his wings, pinning them down so that they couldn’t move. His wingspan was large enough that he couldn’t reach the weights with his hands, and his breathing began to speed up as he instinctively tried to pull his wings free, to no avail. After this, he wouldn’t ever move them again. He suddenly wished fervently that he’d gotten more than that brief heartbeat of freedom outside the jar, that he’d at least been able to fly more than a few inches, even if escape was futile. 

Movement above him caught his eye, and he realized that the witch was staring down at him with a strange expression, with a sharp metal tool in one hand. He stared at it for a moment, and then decided that he didn’t want to watch himself be taken apart, actually, and closed his eyes, swallowing heavily. 

Despite knowing logically that being captured meant he was going to die, being faced with his own imminent mortality still made some primal part of him feel panicked and fearful. Patton would be proud of him, admitting that he did feel things after all. 

Oh, stars, Patton. Logan had vanished without even telling him where he was going. The bubbly sprite would never even know what happened to him. He hoped desperately that Patton wouldn’t search for him, wouldn’t get himself in trouble because of Logan’s own foolishness. The pressure behind his eyes finally broke, chest shuddering with barely restrained sobs as his cheeks went wet with tears. And why shouldn’t he cry? What was the point of pride when he’d never get to see the stars or his home or Patton ever again? 

“Oh man.” There was a long groan from above him. “Ugh, I can’t do this.” 

Logan blinked his eyes open in surprise, squinting through the blurriness of his tears at the human. “What?” He said, voice thick. 

Surprisingly, the witch was not hovering over him menacingly with the tool as he’d imagined. Instead, he was slumped back against his chair, rubbing at his eyes and smearing his eyeliner even further. “I’m gonna fail so hard. What kind of witch can’t even kill a fairy?” 

“Are you- what?” Logan repeated, still trying to catch up to the implications of his words. The witch sighed, and then leaned down, smudging a thumb over the ink of the sigil and breaking its circle. The shackle dissipated into dark smoke, and Logan stared up at him. 

“Are you… not going to kill me?” He asked, voice tinged with disbelief. The witch cringed. 

“Nope. I’ve decided fuck this actually, ‘this’ being my life.” He raised a hand and Logan flinched back, anticipating being crushed, but all the witch did was carefully pluck the weights off of his wings. 

Before he could change his mind, Logan scrambled to his feet, wings aflutter. The witch ignored him for the most part as he took to the air, turning to his desk and clearing it off, occasionally glancing at Logan as though worried the fairy was going to dive-bomb him. It didn’t seem like the witch wanted to re-capture him at all. Logan hovered lower cautiously.

“You needed to do this for your project. What… changed your mind?” He asked. Clearly, he hadn’t learned his lesson about curiosity, but this human was a strange one.

The witch huffed. “What changed my mind is that according to textbooks, fairies are insectoids with no true sentience, only able to mimic human emotions.” He looked sardonically at Logan. “Does that seem true to you?” 

“Ah.” Logan said, getting it. “So, because you believe me to be sentient, you’re… letting me go?” 

“Yeah, that’s the long and short of it. I know what real terror looks like, and you weren’t ‘mimicking’ anything. I’m not going to kill a person, no matter how shitty a witch that makes me.” He finished, wiping some dust from his desk before walking to the window and pulling the drapes open. 

The warm light of a setting sun poured into the room, and Logan watched as the witch unlatched and then opened his window. “There you go.” He said, and stepped back.

Logan landed on the windowsill, staring at the unfamiliar silhouettes of the buildings around him. He spread his wings out fully and focused on home, on the tug of magic in his core that would guide him back.   

Nothing. 

He tried again, feeling tears of frustration threatening at the corner of his eyes when his magic remained frustratingly non-responsive. 

“Uh, you good?” The witch asked, making him jump in surprise. He had to stop letting his guard down around this stranger.

“No.” Logan responded shortly. “I cannot access my homing magic, and without it I fear I shall not be able to find my way back without being captured again or becoming terribly lost.” 

“You can’t access it, huh… Could I, uh… could you show me your wrists?” The witch asked, holding out a hand hesitantly. Logan tilted his head, wary. 

“How do I know you won’t simply trap me again?” 

The witch rubbed at the back of his neck with his free hand. “Okay, I’m not trying to be, like… a jerk. But if I wanted to hurt you or keep you trapped, I would have just done it back when I had you pinned to a table. There’s literally no reason for me to let you go only to con you back into containment.” 

“Hm. That is true.” Logan admitted, and flew up to the witch’s hand without fanfare, standing on the edge of his palm. The witch blinked, startled, and Logan presented a hand with an eyebrow raised impatiently. 

“Right.” The witch muttered, and leaned in close enough that Logan could have reached out to touch his face. He focused on not being nervous, though it was hard with those eyes locked so intently on him. They seemed to be almost glowing?

The witch retracted, nodding to himself. “Yeah, you’ve got sealing magic on you. It’s human magework, pretty subtle stuff.” 

“Can you remove it?” Logan asked immediately, and the witch snorted, jostling him slightly.

“I’m a student, a failing one at that.” The witch bit his lip as Logan’s expression fell. “But I can probably get my hands on some book about sealing magic.” 

Logan eyed him suspiciously. “Why would you?” 

“Because I want you out of my hair?” The human tried. 

“I am not in your hair.” Logan answered, unimpressed with the nonsensical response. The witch sighed. 

“How about a deal. You teach me about fairies and their real culture, not the garbage they put in the textbooks, and I’ll help you figure out the basics of human magecraft. Figuring out the sealing magic is out of my depth, though, so you’ll have to tackle that yourself.” 

Logan thought the terms through before answering, but there wasn’t much to think on. It was everything he could have wanted, though the human couldn’t have known it. He just had to be careful about what he revealed in case this witch truly was malicious. “Deal.” 

“Great.” The witch said, offering his other hand to Logan to shake. “I’m Virgil.” 

Logan clasped a hand on Virgil’s fingertip, shaking it once firmly. Virgil’s lip twitched at the movement.  

“Logan. When can we get started?” He asked, rising to hover in the air once more. 

Virgil’s lips twisted up into a half-smile, and he pulled a worn textbook from the shelf above his desk. “Why not now?”

Logan couldn’t help but return the sentiment, his glow already brightening at the sight of a new source of knowledge. 

Despite the rocky start, it seemed to be the beginning of a promising partnership.

[jidai]

Hi there! I really admire a lot of the graphics you do. If you're up to it and its not a bother, would you mind making a tutorial on how you did the Tifa Lockhart graphic set you made back in June? Particularly the last two graphics with the Seventh Heaven bar and Tifa on the swing in Nibelheim? Thanks for reading!

Hi, dear anon! Thank you for the kind words! I tried my best to explain things in details but if you need clarifications, feel free to reach out privately or on here. A wall of text, incoming!

the post anon is referring to

Note: the animation was all done in photoshop but if you have after effects, that will make this so much easier!

The first two is pretty straightforward so I’ll focus more on the last two, as you asked. This is assuming you have pretty good Photoshop knowledge!

7th Heaven bar panel

First, I scour the internet to see if I can get my hands on the full image of the bar from the OG game. Luckily I managed to find one on the FF wiki:

You can either keep the black bg or cut out the sprite if you’re using a color that’s not black. Anyways, I wasn’t satisfied at how dark and colorful it looked so I used Curves to turn up the brightness and Vibrance to decrease the vibrancy of the bar (I would love to keep the color but my color palette is mainly gray, so I wanted to match it). 

Tada! The panel felt empty, despite me wanting a minimalist look. So I used the font Axis and type “HOME’, size 10px right below the bar (not shown above). 

Next, I’ll talk about the animation portion of the edit. Two magic happens in this feature called ‘Timeline’. Photoshop toolbar > Window > Timeline. This is where a lot of gif-maker will spend their time in. 

And before we go any further, I want to explain to you some basics of timeline and keyframes. You need to understand this or else you’ll just be clicking things without knowing wtf is going on lol. Feel free to skip to the bottom ‘- - -’ if you know this and want to go straight to the action!

- - -

Timeline is a place where you can turn your static layers into animated or dynamic GIFs. 

Keyframing is basically the simplest form of animating an object, as long as there is beginning condition and an end condition. EX:

Basically, keyframe holds information that tells the program what to do with an object (move it right, left, bring it around town, wiggle, etc.), using what are called properties. Using the example above, keyframe A starts the circle at (0,5) but keyframe B is telling the program to move the circle 5 pxl to the right over time.

Properties are just things you change to animate the object like, position, size, opacity, etc.

This is VERY basic things I’m telling you so I highly encourage you to do further research if you want a better & detailed explanation.

- - -

Because we’re making an original composition/gif, and not from a video, you need to click on the middle button “Create Video Timeline” NOT “Create Frame Animation”. The latter is fine for gif but you can’t animate there. 

Anyways, once you click on that, it’ll take ALL of your layers on the right and turn it into a video-editing looking bar on the bottom. It’ll look something like this.

It looks really intimidating but as long as you focus only on the layer that you’re animating on, it’ll be ok! Here’s a quick guide on which part of the UI you need to worry about:

I used the same property for all 3 “flickering” animation so I’ll use only one example:

I wanted to make it seems like the TV is animated so I took a brush with soft edges and painted a blue circle that’s big enough to cover the TV a little bit. That will be my ‘blue tv light’ layer.

So here, we see that the TV lights are “flickering” (as well as the red cross in front of HOME) so it means I’m messing with the opacity somehow. Lucky for us, the timeline has an opacity property we can use!

(tip: if you click the tiny arrow on the left of the layer name, you can access properties there)

If you click on the stopwatch that’s next to Opacity, you’ll be setting a keyframe, which will be your starting condition in this context. 

Make sure your preview thingy (blue button with red line that’s sprawl across the timeline) is directly on top of the keyframe as you adjust anything because you will create a new keyframe if it’s slightly off to the right of left. 

To animate the flickering TV lights that’s looped, I set 3 keyframes: one for the beginning, middle and end. The beginning condition and ending condition must be identical in order for your animation to be looped! So if possble, set your gif length to a number that can be divided in half for even animation. Like this:

Unfortunately, it’s not After Effects so there’s no easy way to loop it except doing it yourself, not that I know of, anyway.

As long as you have your preview arrow over where you want the keyframe to be, you can just adjust the opacity and it will automatically create a new keyframe with desired opacity. No need to click the stopwatch many times!

Basically, I repeat the same things for all of the animated objects you see in that panel.

Tifa on a swing panel

I looked for a picture of Nibelheim:

(I couldn’t find the one that I used, I apologize.) I used the pen tool and cut a rough shape of the town out. Then, I tossed in a bunch of adjustments like curves, gradients, etc. to get the desired effect.

As for Tifa and the swing itself. I used the scene where Tifa went to the water tower to see Cloud and cut her out. The swing I created from scratch by using the pen tool to create the shape of the swing and the line tool for the chain. I tossed some wood textures on there but you can barely see it anyway lol. 

Animating her is pretty much identical how I animated the TV lights, but instead of changing the opacity, we will use the Transform property (Ctrl + T/Command + T) .

Similar to the 7th Heaven panel, you will set a starting condition, the in-between conditions, and the end condition (remember, it has to be identical to the beginning condition if you want it to loop!). 

(you will see this then you Transform (Ctrl + T/Command + T)

I don’t remember exactly why I did it but I think I had the neutral position in the middle because the animation was fast so I wanted to slow it down. I don’t remember exactly tho. Anyway, the bigger your rotation angle, the faster Tifa will swing unless you set your gif to long duration (mine was 6 seconds). Experiment with where your keyframe is but generally, if you want them to all have the same animation speed, space them out as evenly as you can.

As long as you have the basic of using the timeline in Photoshop, it’s pretty much the exact same things over and over but you just adjust the shape, size, opacity, position, etc.

And if you came of this learning nothing (if so im SORRY), I will link you to this: a YT tutorial that I watched when I needed to refresh my memory.

[abundantchewtoys]

HS Epi Meat p1&2 reaction

So, time to start reading the next part of the epilogues! For us, that means the first page(s) after the prologue.

I'd rather keep the Candy part for last, in case Blaperile was right and it's more 'fleshed out' than I would've thought personally.

I wonder then if in the Meat part, John immediately leaves after his meal? Or maybe the farewells to his other friends just merit a mention, not dialoguelogs of their own.

---

Heheh, so the Meat or Candy option is the only thing currently on the Homestuck Epilogues log page, no pages underneath it. I do wonder if there will be a, heh, Epilogue, at the end, posted next week or so.

And, the same option is on the 3rd page of the prologue. I do like that the choice is represented with images. That might indicate that a sparse few more images will be used throughout the rest of the epilogues. For Homestuck to have been such a visual medium, it wouldn't have felt entirely right for the epilogues to stick to solely a text format.

---

Meat Epilogue 1, page 1: Pfff, so that's actually the title of this subdivision the epilogues then, hahah.

... Okay, that is a way too visual description of John eating raw meat. It's a good thing I have just had a light breakfast. :P

"Some of the blood has coagulated on the surface of the plate. You grab it from Calliope and lick it clean. She watches you—calm, placid, alien. Roxy has leaned forward to scrutinize your slovenly feasting, her eyes wide and intense. You stare back at them with your hands coated in unctuous organic matter and flecks of seared skin. The blood on your hands is so thin that it’s like oily Kool-Aid pooling in your palm." And then John became a cherub. :P I suppose John digging into a meal is a sight for everyone.

"> Think, suddenly, about all the many horrible crimes committed by Lord English." Of course, he has the taste for blood now. :P Sudden resolve is sudden.

"> You know what you must do.

JOHN: i know what i must do." Influensive narration, was influensive narration? :mspa:

Blaperile has a good point, maybe this same exchange happens in the Candy route. I mean, I know there's going to be a detailed description of John eating candy there, but maybe this exact two lines happen there too.

"Roxy pulls back and takes a deep breath. It’s a very thin breath, and her bottom lip quivers a bit when she sucks it in. She looks disappointed, though you could be misreading her, as usual." I suppose Roxy is mainly sad that he'll leave them. It could be she was hoping to reconnect with him as well. Maybe she was even hoping they were in the non-canon route, despite John's choice of lunch.

I wonder whether she'll really stay behind though. I've said it before, 23-year-old John, going back to rouse 16-year-old versions of his friends? It's a bittersweet idea.

"No one says anything for some time. A pleasant breeze rolls down from the hills. In the distance, the bell tower chimes twice. You notice that a group of carapacians have stopped to stare at you with beady-eyed fascination. The front of your shirt is stained with dark, slimy patches from the meat. Christ, why did you have to eat that meat like such a slob?

JOHN: so, is that it? JOHN: should i, uh... get going? CALLIOPE: if this is yoUr decision, then yes. CALLIOPE: there’s no time to lose, if the choice yoU have made is"

At first I thought the carapaces were aware of the gravity of the situation, then I thought they were indeed just fixed on his slobbering, but now... They might be instinctually aware of his importance. Though, table manners were never something I thought John really had much of, he still really dug into his meal, didn't he?

And as for his next move, seems time is of the essence. Well, he is going to take up arms against a Lord of the same aspect.

"Calliope closes up the picnic basket and stands. Roxy follows, taking Calliope’s hand in hers again." So... are his other friends perhaps nearby, or is this it?

"> Say goodbye?

JOHN: ok then.

JOHN: umm...

JOHN: thanks for inviting me to this picnic.

JOHN: guess i’ll see you both... when i get back?" Damn, him asking is another mark in favor of him not being able to return, and everyone of his friends being in the know about this.

I really hope he can go back though, he's already switched between versions of his friends once before.

... Okay, the belch caught me off guard too. It would've been funny if the others had reacted to it, but as it stands... It's just awkward.

"You hesitate a few awkward moments too long. When you go to hug them, they’ve already turned away, leaving you standing in the middle of the park alone with your arms half-raised, cupping the air. It’s so pathetic that the eavesdropping carapacians finally scurry away, overwhelmed by their secondhand embarrassment. You didn’t even know they could get embarrassed.

You drop your arms and sigh. Time to get on with it." Okay, that's as anti-climactic as it gets, and it seems more and more as if his friends were keeping something from him. Even now that he made his choice. He deserved to know the truth, no matter how harsh it was.

"Before you leave, you fly back home and take one last look around Salamander Village. You breathe in the clean, crisp air, listen to the pipes chime, soak up the unfiltered sunlight. You then head inside for a wipe down, since it feels like you’ve been making face-down snow angels on the floor of an ill-kept slaughterhouse. You head to your bathroom and wash all the meat off your face. But somehow you still don’t feel that clean. An invisible layer of oil seems to cling to almost every square inch of your body no matter how hard you scrub." At least he took the time to say goodbye to his home of the last few years. As for how he was feeling, I suppose some part of him understands he'll disconnect from his friends through what he choose to do here. Either because he'll have had all those new adventures without them, or because he'll just never be able to return here.

... Some victory state THIS turned out to be.

"You go to your bedroom desk and dig out some stationery.

> Write: “dear roxy,”

You’ve never written a note so quickly, or with such clarity of heart and mind. When you’re done, you write nine more." Aww, letters for all his human and troll friends on Earth C. Guess Calliope & the sprites are just not that close to his heart? (... Wait, no, 10 in total, so Calliope was probably included.) ... He might just not be remembering to say goodbye of his Nannasprite in the moment. Or maybe, some of the B2 kids or Kanaya were left out, that's also possible.

"You leave ten envelopes on your bed, arranged in a tidy circle with the names of your ten closest friends written on them. Then, with absolutely no fanfare, you leave all of them and this idyllic world you’ve created behind and zap yourself back into canon." One of the least most fanfaric moments in the story...

---

==>

"DAVE: bro" ... Wait what??? Did he just zap himself back in time in front of Dave???

... Or did he zap to where Dave lives - wait, no, he entered canon, the last page said.

Blaperile has a good point, maybe we'll get to see the other children respond to his letter? ... Or maybe even respond to the fact that he left all the same, since only Roxy, Calliope, Rose & Dirk seemed to be in the loop here.

"In the heart of the Troll Kingdom’s capital city, Dave and Karkat are sitting on their couch with a foot and a half of space between them. It’s a typically picturesque day outside, but Karkat has the curtains drawn shut all the way. This is part of their compromise living situation: Dave puts up with the trollish non-euclidean architecture and bizarre social mores, and Karkat has adjusted his diurnal schedule to, in theory, see the sun." Oh, so it IS the Earth C Dave (and Karkat!) ... Have they just had a small argument, that they're so far apart? :P HEheh, it does feel good to get a little more expo on their situation. ... I do wonder how we would have to designate what we learn about them here. It's probably still all going to be vague, but with John having zapped back to canon, this timeline has become validated again. So it's truth component should be restored, but then again, it's outside of canon. Bluh, MY3KT mantra, I should just enjoy this for what it is.

"DAVE: bro you have got to check this out

Karkat is leaning forward, munching on chocolate-coated beetles and totally absorbed in what he’s watching. The glow from the television highlights the dark bags under his eyes. " Pfff, troll candy, hahah. ... Is Dave surfing on his smartphone and pestering Karkat while he's trying to bingewatch something? ... That is just so perfect.

... I swear, if one of the carapaces filmed John's belch and put it on YouTube, or whatever...

"Dave reaches out and, very gently, pokes Karkat in the cheek. Karkat flinches out of his full-body slouch." You do not disturb Couch Patato Karkat. :P

"KARKAT: NOT NOW DAVE. JAKE’S ASS IS ON TV AGAIN.DAVE: stop ogling jakes ass this is important" I KNOW this probably means Jake did something adventurous again, but... Yeah, Karkat being starstruck by a John-lookalike with a black hole for a red quadrant is just so fitting. Also, pfff, that was also one of the captions of the snaps in the Credits, "Jake's ass is on tv again".

"Dave casts a weary look towards the TV, where Jake English is shamelessly exhibiting what is definitely his best feature in front of a live studio audience. This is a regular highlight of his and Dirk’s hit television show, RUMBLE IN DA PUMPKIN PATCH" ... Okay never mind, Jake either consciously or not has taken to stardom like a thirsty vagrant in the desert. ... Pumpkin Path, pfff, it didn't immediately connect, but that's Jake & Dirk's ship name! It's also a shoutout to Rumble in the Jungle, of course.

"a schizophrenic cross-section of rap battle and robot wrestling that Rose once described as “an exploitative, almost Dada-esque clusterfuck of circumlocutory pretension and sweaty, homoerotic astriction.”" ... Pffff, the rap battle part is more Dirk's shtick though.

"KARKAT: IT’S ALL IN THE WAY IT’S BEING PROGRAMMED BY THE STATION.KARKAT: IT TOOK ME A WHILE TO NOTICE, BECAUSE IT’S NOT LIKE I MAKE IT A POINT OF STAYING GLUED TO THIS PHONY TELEVISED HUMAN GLADIATOR GARBAGE.KARKAT: IT’S SOFT AS FUCK. THEY BARELY EVEN TRY TO MAKE IT SEEM REAL. DAVE, I CONSIDER MYSELF A COSMOPOLITAN INDIVIDUAL. A MAN OF LEARNING? BUT AS A NATIVE ALTERNIAN, I’M ACTUALLY FUCKING OFFENDED BY THIS INSULTING DISPLAY OF NAMBY PAMBY PAGEANTRY." So, is Karkat one of the people that is valiantly against wrestling as a form of entertainment, because it's "fake fighting"? :P Or is he offended by the rap battles as a lesser form of slam poetry? XD

"KARKAT: ANYWAY, THE MORE I WATCH, I CAN’T HELP BUT NOTICE THE CAMERA’S LECHEROUS FIXATION ON THIS BOY’S VOLUPTUOUS POSTERIOR.KARKAT: CAN’T SAY I BLAME THEM, I GUESS??? AT LEAST IT SHOWS THEY KNOW EXACTLY WHAT’S PAYING THE FUCKING BILLS, BECAUSE IT SURE AS HELL ISN’T THE QUALITY OF THE SLAM POETRY." PFFFFF, I knew it.

"DAVE: ok who gives a shit about thatDAVE: although it pleases me to hear you taking note of the economics of this broadcast since it is apropos to the topic at hand but more on that later" Wait wut? :P Hah, Dave is still busy with "the economy", that's so sweet, both as a continuation of SBaHJ and the LOHACSE. Also, that's the second time the topic of the economy is broached in the epilogue!

So, we're actually seeing some things of normal life on Earth C despite this not being the Candy route. Weird, though Blaperile has a point these pages might be mirrored there with different endings. As for the poll, hahah, yeah I do suppose more people may have chose the Meat route initially, lame as it might be named.

... You know what'd it be funny? If the meat route turns out to be a red herring and the candy route was always the 'right' choice some how. It would be doubly funny, seeing has how the Candy route is visualized by the Spiral Sucker, which you could have taken to mean it's a dud. But a RED meat as the red herring? :P :P :P

"KARKAT: APROPOS TO FUCKING WHAT?KARKAT: I DON’T HAVE TIME TO “SCOPE THE LATEST MEME,” DAVE. YOU ARE COMING PERILOUSLY CLOSE TO CUTTING INTO MY IMPORTANT LEISURE TIME AS IT IS.DAVE: leisure timeDAVE: this is all you ever do all dayDAVE: also its not a meme its much more important" Great to see they haven't become lovey dovey in their old age. :P

"KARKAT: OH, EXCUSE ME, HOT SHOT. BUT WHAT POSSIBLY COULD BE MORE IMPORTANT THAN THE LATEST MEME?KARKAT: THAT WAS A JOKE, FYI. NOW LEAVE.DAVE: jane is running for presidentKARKAT: WHAT THE FUCK?" ... Well that came out of nowhere. :D I would be a lot less wary if it had been Jade or Rose. Since there's still that connection to )(IC in Jane. Then again, she's level-headed enough to not be corrupted by power, or so I can only hope.

"Dave scoots a foot and a half closer so that they can both read the news on his phone. Karkat tips his head to the side to get a better view, until it bumps against Dave’s shoulder." And the shippers (or rather, the fans of the pair) went wild!

"DAVE: got the announcement right hereKARKAT: YOU MEAN PRESIDENT OF EARTH?DAVE: yeahKARKAT: WHY THE FUCK WOULD SHE WANT TO DO THAT?DAVE: i dunno crocker is just an ambitious woman i guessKARKAT: THIS SOUNDS FUCKING AWFUL.DAVE: oh it is" I'm suddenly getting a sense as if, in John's absence, the whole victory state might be in jeapordy. Does it have something to do with the fact that, canonically, Earth C has to end up hosting the cherubs?

"DAVE: it absolutely isDAVE: also likeDAVE: dont tell her i said this butDAVE: i think shes basically a fascistKARKAT: WHY WOULD I TELL HER YOU SAID THAT?KARKAT: WHEN THE FUCK WAS THE LAST TIME EITHER OF US HAD FUCK ALL TO DO WITH *JANE*DAVE: no i knowDAVE: just like, a figure of speech i guessDAVE: oh also shes a fucking xenophobeKARKAT: OF COURSE SHE’S A XENOPHOBE!" ... Is this the same Jane Crocker that was good enough friends with Calliope and all? Okay, true, like John she of all people took the least best to all the aliens and science and magic their life ended up being filled with after playing Sburb. Just wondering how much of this is Karkat and Dave overreacting for the hells of it, is all.

"KARKAT: DAVE, I DON’T KNOW IF YOU’VE NOTICED, BUTKARKAT: A LOT OF HUMANS ARE???DAVE: yeah ive noticed" Okay, victory state or not, I'm in for some more in-depth exposition on "how humans are still humans even on a planet filled with aliens from Day 1", and other tales about Earth C.

That takes me back to the troll separatist group that kidnapped Jane in the (non-canon?) snaps posted on the Official Homestuck channel.

"KARKAT: ALSO, WHAT THE FUCK DOES SHE EVEN MEAN SHE’S “RUNNING”KARKAT: WHAT A COMPLETE LOAD OF SHIT?KARKAT: SHE’S A GOD. WHICH ONE OF THE TOADYING IDIOTS ON THIS PLANET WOULD DARE TO RUN AGAINST HER.KARKAT: SHE’S GOING TO WIN IN A LANDSLIDE, ASSUMING SHE DOESN’T JUST WALTZ INTO OFFICE UNCONTESTED.DAVE: yeah i dont disagreeDAVE: which is why we have to stop her" Jane going mad with power, what a nice little thing from canon to become relevant again. :P Only this time no braincontrolling robotics are involved, I suppose.

---

As we stopped reading after this part, I've had some time to theorize.

What if this scene takes place in Earth C's past, and on the way back to canon, what John did first was to jump back to this moment, and punch Jane in the face? :P And then he zaps his friends out with him into canon, they do their thing, and zap back before the current version of John noticed they were gone? He isolated himself, after all, probably didn't even follow the news.

It would mean that the "victory state" was something the kids still had to earn after going through the door, even though it was outside of canon already. But it'll probably not go this way, I'm saddened to say.

Part of me wants the candy chapters parallel this route, in the characters shown per chapter, but then I would've liked being able to switch paths somewhere inbetween to compare and spot the differences.

"DAVE: which is why we have to stop herKARKAT: HUH?KARKAT: DAVE, WHAT EXACTLY ARE YOU SAYING?KARKAT: ARE YOU TELLING ME *YOU’RE* GOING TO RUN AGAINST JANE?" ... Okay, imagine the hilarity ensuing of Dave being President of the Earth. The campaign buttons (merch for FFBF, in any case!), the comparison to B2 Dave ascending the White House in a more literal way... But it would also be funny if Dave proposes Barack Obama. Not THE Barack Obama of course, just a member of a long line of people named that way, going back to a baby they cloned when populating this Earth. All named Barack Obama. :P

"Karkat’s laughter is uproarious, incredulous. He reaches for another beetle as his guffaws subside, and eats it in a manner he hopes will convey his casual contempt for Dave’s insinuation." Okay, I genuinely adore we now get to see Karkat's non-verbal reactions. They're as spiteful as his tirades, god bless.

"KARKAT: ARE YOU OUT OF YOUR FUCKING MIND? DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW *RICH* SHE IS?DAVE: dude were all rich" Oh, yeah, I guess the riches they accumulated in the session are still a thing? Also, maybe Dave has gone the way of B2 Dave and makes a killing producing jpeg items at negative costs.

"DAVE: we like invented the fucking economyKARKAT: WELL, YEAHKARKAT: BUT NOT LIKEKARKAT: *CROCKER* RICHDAVE: anyway noDAVE: im not runningDAVE: you are" Ahahah, I didn't figure he'd do that! My idea was Karkat might take the initiative himself, since he still half believes in his own leadership qualities, I would think. But after seeing his response I didn't think that would happen, but now Dave wants to push him (and be his running mate?). Ah yes, I can just picture the debates between Jane and Karkat, that'd be so rich, her pushing all his buttons and him *thoughtfully* laying all her flaws to bear.

... Blaperile pointed out Echidna had said Karkat would still have a role in the new universe, guess it might actually be coming to this!

"DAVE: youre the ideal opponent to take her down and tbh just what this planet needs" Not the president this planet deserves, but the one it needs right now. Get it? Because Karkat's a Knight. :P

"KARKAT: I’M NOT A LEADER. I WAS NEVER MEANT TO BE ONE.KARKAT: JANE PROBABLY IS. ALTHOUGH TO BE FAIR, I’M AGREEING WITH YOU, SHE’S A COMPLETE ASSHOLE." Ah yes, of course, I see how it is. John should run for president. :P I know, I know, one small problem there. Hey, maybe that's something for the candy route!

Blaperile has a good point, Karkat's good at having people co-operate that would otherwise be at each other's throat. That's just basic world leadership skills. :P

"DAVE: you were meant to be a leader and youd be a good oneDAVE: just not the kind of leader you always thought youd be" I'm all here for supportive Dave, but I'd really like to see his arguments. They might be a little tainted, being so close to Karkat.

"DAVE: not a bellicose conquering dickhead who commands “fear and respect”" So, I'm not saying this is a comment on a certain contemporary world leader, but. But.

"DAVE: just a guy who is cool and nice and actually cares about stuff and everyone loves them for that reason" He could take an example by John on how to be a good palhoncho!

"KARKAT: PEOPLE DON’T LOVE ME!!!DAVE: youre breaking my heart dude" Confirmed. :P

"DAVE: it still amazes me how little awareness you genuinely seem to have of how insanely popular you are on this planetDAVE: its fucking adorable" Cool, so it's not like the planet has popular gods and less popular ones, then, awww.

"KARKAT: YOU’RE WRONG! ALL I SEE IS JAKE ON TV! AND JANE IN THE NEWS STORIES ABOUT HER STUPID BUSINESS, AND DIRK DOING WHATEVER... FUCKED UP SHIT HE’S DOING WITH HIS CELEBRITY PRESENCE??" Maybe Karkat's looking in the wrong places, maybe his fans are all on the internet! It's just that he's too much of a couch potato to take note, and maybe he even took a leave of absence from setting foot on social media & forums & the like, since he's aware how easily provoked he is?

"KARKAT: I SEE YOUR MUG A LOT TOO, MR. FUCKING POLITICAL PUPPET MASTER." I know Dave's face is literally on a mug on FFBF, so this is super funny.

"DAVE: you only see famous humans on tv because you just avoid all troll kingdom channels deliberately" Huh, so he's kind of fled the influence of troll culture, maybe he's had his fill of caste-oriented drama series, quadrantic romance and the like?

"Karkat hesitates, then slouches back into the couch cushions, restoring the customary foot and a half of space he and Dave usually keep between them except when watching horror movies, eating chips, or talking about the top six hundred stupid things Karkat saw earlier that day because he made his intrepid annual decision to go outside." So Karkat not being touchy is an informed skill more than anything, then. :P It seems it's only the truth half of the time.

"KARKAT: MAYBE I DON’T ACTUALLY LIKE BEING FAMOUS?" All the attention and the accompanying social responsability probably gets to him, I see where he's coming from.

"DAVE: well what better way to acquaint yourself with democracy than to take a crack at high office yourself" Oh yes, throw baby Karkles right into the deep end, why don't you.

"DAVE: dude seriously you would absolutely kill it with the troll voting blockDAVE: the entire kingdom would vote for youDAVE: theyd go ballistic if they heard a troll actually had the guts to run against jane, let alone one of their heroes" I do wonder what the votership division looks like, and whether gerrymandering is at play by giving the kingdoms equal votes despite disparities in population sizes, and stuff.

"DAVE: shes going to be a fucking disaster for the economy" Won't someone PLEASE think of the economy? :P Of course, a business person taking charge politically? That never ends well, or does it?

"DAVE: its about obama

Very slowly, Karkat raises his right palm and forcefully unites it with his own face." Dave's personal hero. And unlike John's, untainted in recent history. In fact, I'm kind of surprised Dave never made an Obamatop computing device. From Karkat's reaction, I'm guessing this is old hat to him by now.

"FREESTYLE OBAMA FAN FICTION" Truly, it is a shame this will never be shown in-comic, presumably.

Although I would really much like a Paradox Space story centered around it. :P

"KARKAT: DON’T YOU ALREADY HAVE A BASIS FOR KNOWING HOW HIS PRESIDENCY WOULD HAVE GONE?" I suppose he thinks B2 Obama doesn't count, because of his and Rose's alternate selves being around as well as Condesce, influencing the events on the planet to various degrees of subtlety?

"DAVE: i just dont like to think much about that time lineDAVE: it doesnt really feel like itsDAVE: canon?" PFffff, to him, no it wouldn't, since it's not his native timeline. And to us, the readers, it took a very outlandish turn after 2011.

"DAVE: the one i belonged to that i used to imagine had a real futureDAVE: that didnt involve meteors or a fish dictator or the american political landscape turning into a nightmarish daily jokeDAVE: i still wonder what could have beenDAVE: if the O man coulda saved us all" It's a good thing just imagining things doesn't spawn a new timeline, or Dave would've created one right there. ... Wait, that's actually our timeline he's thinking about, crap. Don't stop imagining it, Dave!

"DAVE: but instead he died probablyDAVE: or maybe not... maybe there was like an escape hatch in the white house that led to his own secret presidential session of sburbDAVE: what if hes just chillin there now" ... Together with the Nick of Time? :D

"DAVE: what if he died for our sins or somethingKARKAT: HMM! SOUNDS FUCKING MEANINGLESS." That's rich, coming from the Sufferer's second coming.

"DAVE: but i mean what if likeDAVE: he could be reborn" Ah, so they DIDN'T clone him. Yet.

Or, maybe this leads up to Dave figuratively seeing Karkat as the second coming of Obama, that's also possible.

"KARKAT: YES, WE’VE BEEN OVER YOUR OBAMA GOD TIER HEADCANONS TOO." What'd that be though. The Gent of Peace? (In a little wordplay on fedoraFreak's imagined god tier title.)

"DAVE: you could be the great president he never got the chance to beDAVE: you could give the people hope and shitDAVE: you could inspire trolls everywhereDAVE: or really all nonhuman kingdomsDAVE: show them anybody could be a presidentDAVE: not just an endless parade of rich humans who think they all know whats best for everybody" So... I guess President of Earth is a real title in this universe, not something Jane just came up with. And it seems, unsurprisingly, only a certain type gets elected. Some things never change, do they?

Karkat taking it up for the little guy would have nice parallels with WV rising up. And, points to Blaperile, also parallels with Obama proper, as the first black president.

"KARKAT: DAVE, I’M PRETTY SURE ANYONE *COULD* BE PRESIDENT?KARKAT: IT’S ALWAYS SEEMED TO ME THAT HUMANS JUST SEEM TO BE MORE NATURALLY AMBITIOUS, AND THAT’S WHY THE POWER STRUCTURES TOOK THE SHAPE THEY DID THE LAST FEW MILLENNIA.KARKAT: I MEAN, I DON’T CLAIM TO BE AN EXPERT ON XENOPSYCHOLOGY, BUT FOR SOME REASON I STRUGGLE TO IMAGINE A FUCKING SALAMANDER GETTING THE GUMPTION TO THROW HIS CRUMPLED HAT INTO THE RING FOR THE PRESIDENCY OF EARTH.KARKAT: OR THE CARAPACIANS FOR THAT MATTER?" Well, to be frank, the trolls are all rather ambitious by nature, so if only humans got elected until now, something must be off. I'll concede his point on the other species, even if he's only true speaking generally. I think that Viceroy Bubbles von Salamancer, or WV, if they had been around, would absolutely have run for president.

"DAVE: karkat dont stereotypeDAVE: remember the mayorDAVE: remember how at one point a long time ago he raised an army and rebelled against an evil king" Awww, he remembers. WV probably told that story on the meteor. I do wonder how WV & PM are remembered in the stories by the carapaces. They deserve the same worship as the kids, in their own way.

"KARKAT: OH YEAHKARKAT: SOMEHOW I ALWAYS FORGET HE DID THAT.KARKAT: KIND OF MIND BOGGLING, REALLY.KARKAT: HOLY SHIT, I MISS THE MAYOR.DAVE: me too

Dave and Karkat both observe a moment of silence" Aww, his trials are not forgotten, if not always remembered. Good to see. And yes, small minds, great achievements - you shouldn't discount the other races just for their general demeanour!

"

Into this reverent silence, Dave says:DAVE: i think he would be totally in favor of my idea btw" Blasphemy, Dave, blashemy, no respect. Although, WV would've been rather supportive, I guess.

"DAVE: he loved democracyKARKAT: NO SHIT, HE WAS A FUCKING MAYOR." True, he hated self-serving kings but would probably have supported the idea of an elected head of state.

"DAVE: i mean forget all the lizards and chess guys for a secondDAVE: just imagine the good you could do for the troll kingdomDAVE: you would do a much better job of speaking to the injustices trolls face than jane wouldKARKAT: WHAT INJUSTICESDAVE: dude pleaseDAVE: where to even beginDAVE: i know earth c has generally been a pretty chill place to live but theres been some shit going on that is legit creepy" Oh boy, now we get to the meat of the issue. (Heh.) I do wonder if some events from the snaps are going to get addressed, like the existence of a royalist troll underground. It would only exist if there were subjects troll were not happy about.

It's jarring though, that a supposedly peaceful "end-game reward" world could be this fucked up under the surface.

"DAVE: all this “population regulation” bullshit thats been going on since we basically set up civilization and peaced out to the futureDAVE: when you think about its long term consequences its been fuckin weirdDAVE: like the government being responsible for troll reproduction through cloning" Hmm, so did they decide not to reinstate the drones? I guess the whole "contribute or die" mentality had to go, but simply relying on cloning to provide the material for the matriorb seems... off? Especially if the cloning isn't done with Sburb machine, genetic defects could pop up this way.

"DAVE: like it makes sense on paper at first, no mother grub, gotta keep the race going and expand the population for a good while and get the numbers upDAVE: until kanaya gets here and hatches the grub and then i guess a system of “natural reproduction” can take over in theory but" Oh, so... That was the system they used until the kids arrived, a state-regulated form of reproduction. Kind of totalitarian, but then, trolls take that shit easier than other races.

And yeah, the only grub around is the one from the matriorb Roxy materialized, that's... A very risky thing, makes me think of eggs and baskets. Couldn't they have cloned the grub by now, now the kids have been here several years?

"i guess were supposed to think its all fixed rightDAVE: back to Trolls As Usual or somethingDAVE: but do you really think the human kingdom is going to just sit back and let the troll race proliferate wildly all over earthDAVE: turn it into another alternian empireDAVE: folks know the historyDAVE: they know about the condesce and all the violence and the hemospectrum and shit" I'm here for Dave as Troll Ally, but I like that he isn't just blindly defending the trolls, he knows what the humans might've been thinking, fearing what could happen.

But that's a worst case scenario, and while you should prepare for it, you should still hope for better, and it seems the humans haven't been doing so.

"KARKAT: DAVE, I KNOW ALL THIS.KARKAT: IN FACT, *YOU* KNOW ALL OF THIS BECAUSE YOU’VE HEARD ME SAY IT TO KANAYA A THOUSAND TIMES." So... Karkat is way more politically inclined than he's making [strike](out with)[/strike] himself out to be.

"DAVE: you think a crocker administration is really going to go through with plans to deregulate troll breeding?DAVE: she knows exactly what her base wantsDAVE: i can already see the dog whistles in this press release she isnt gonna do shit" Wow, from Dave's perspective Jane really isn't a hero any longer. What kind of behaviour did she even display after they arrived in the future, that he honestly believes she's a fascist xenophone???

"DAVE: and really manDAVE: if nothing else and i truly mean NOTHINGDAVE: pleaseDAVE: for the love of christDAVE: think of the economy" PFfffffff. It's funny how, in being so liberal-minded, Dave is still very focused on safeguarding the economy. :P I know, I know, it's more a meme to him that anything else, I suppose, but still.

"DAVE: jane has this reputation for being awesome at business but imo she actually just sucksDAVE: she doesnt seem to be even remotely aware how much shes leveraged her status as a god to become a bigshot trillionaireDAVE: i think she thinks its all pure business acumen but i think she doesnt really know what shes doingDAVE: fuckers left and right just be tripping all day long to give her money hand over fistDAVE: of course shes gonna milk her biz cred for all its worth in this election" ... This is just one big Trump allegory, ain't it? Oh, I don't doubt Jane might be overestimating herself in some ways, but she's also not a complete idiot. This has more to do with out-of-comic events than in-comic ones, probably.

"DAVE: shes probably a much better politician than a businesswoman actually she is likeDAVE: sinister as fuck? i meanDAVE: she hides it well dont get me wrongDAVE: also she isnt too hard on the eyes which wont hurt her chances one bitDAVE: but shes going to be BRUTAL on their pocketbooks just you wait" I was wondering what ever happened to Dave's physical attraction to Jane, it hasn't waivered I see, he's just seen parts of her personality he doesn't like.

"DAVE: she doesnt know the nuances of sound comprehensive fiscal policy like i doDAVE: my skills are fucking legendaryDAVE: i manipulated the stock market to assume control of the literal majority of all currency on the planet once" If he's talking about the LOHACSE, it was a much smaller planet and he had help from an all-seeing eye in the form of Terezi. Also, time travel.

"DAVE: granted the economy was run by lobotomized reptiles but stillDAVE: wait that was speciesist sorry" Heheh, I like Dave recognizing when he's almost a hypocrite, it's a show of character.

"DAVE: ok if shit goes sideways i guess we arent gonna see like raggedy turtles and pauper chess men standing in bread lines or anythingDAVE: thats just the nature of alchemy-based post-scarcity economies the depressions tend to be pretty mild" Oooh, cool, so the economy is basically still only there for show, mostly, people won't be bereft of essentials, that's good to know. Also good to know is that alchemy is still around. I wonder if it was reinvented in the 5000 years since the creation of the planet? Or reverse engineered from Sburb machines?

"DAVE: she sucks and shouldnt be president the end" I'm starting to get the idea Dave might be having black romantic upflares with regard to Jane. It's starting to read like how John would talk about Terezi.

"DAVE: just please tell me youll do thisDAVE: do it for the trolls do it for the economy do it for the mayorDAVE: but most of allDAVE: (sniff)

Dave wipes an invisible tear from beneath the rim of his sunglasses.DAVE: do it for obama" Pff, and here I was thinking he would drop the pretense of not being serious for just a bit, hahah. Guess Bro's way of ironically telling the truth is still hard-baked into him.

"KARKAT: I DO CARE ABOUT YOU.

Dave smiles." Awwww, I love that he can cause that reaction. Not sure if it was 1-pixel smile or something bigger, but I also like how the sentence describing Dave smiling is just two words, in a sort of verbal callback to the tiny, 1-pixel smile.

"KARKAT: SOKARKAT: I’LL DO IT.KARKAT: WHY NOT.DAVE: nice!" W00t, Karkat for president! He'd be absolutely brutal in debates, yet smart enough to delegate the stuff he doesn't know about to other people, I think.

"outrageous flair for subversive anti establishment messaging and propaganda" Dave's not yet shown that skill himself, but he knows about his B2 self, so I guess it counts.

"your charisma and likability and shitKARKAT: YEAH.KARKAT: YOU MIGHT BE RIGHT...KARKAT: I’M PRETTY SURE I CAN FAKE THOSE THINGS WELL ENOUGH." Chalk one up for Karkat being self aware.

"DAVE: oh alsoDAVE: your weirdly sincere humilityKARKAT: I PREFER THE TERM “SELF LOATHING” ACTUALLY." ... or this. XD Well, if it gets the job done, loathing & humility can be equalized.

"Jake is rambling out a truly dire piece of slam poetry that involves—with zero hint of irony—the terms batty-fang and mad as hops." Okay, so Jake was doing the rapping himself too. Guess his vocabulary hasn't expanded much.

"Dave’s “least psychologically revealing SBaHJ strip.”" ... I do wonder what that could be, I really do. "i haz the car", maybe?

"Karkat sighs and rubs the space between his horns." I read it wa--as the bridge of his nose at first, since I thought he's exasperated at Jake here, but maybe I'm wrong and he's just pensive.

"it’s been a long time since he’s properly used a sword." ... and how long since he did so improperly? *eyebrows*

"DAVE: inspire themDAVE: i dont think you need any fancy speeches to do that youll be a natural" Hmm, I dunno Dave, he used to do speeches all the time. It got results even if they were not well received. :P

"Dave scribble political ambitions directly into the shittiest paint program on his OS." He wrote an MSPaint JPEG clone for just the occasion, didn't he?

"DAVE: time to talk some strategyDAVE: we need to rally as much high profile support to our cause as we canDAVE: but there are some uhDAVE: “lines of loyalty” to figure outKARKAT: WHAT?DAVE: i mean which of our friends are going to side with us and which ones will side with janeDAVE: pretty much all of us are famous and popular all over earth to some degreeDAVE: some of us more so with certain kingdoms than othersDAVE: so some key endorsements going either way could swing the whole election" Wow, Dave, you're a natural campaign leader, good thinking! But, with John gone, that'd leave an uneven number of the gods for voting! Who'll have the swing vote then, Calliope?

Huh, Dave seems to think Roxy would be neutral, I wonder why? Maybe because Calliope is enamoured with trolls, and yet Jane is a good friend of them both.

"DAVE: as for jade...KARKAT: ... " Oh boy. Something happened. I thought Jade was simply out, but... Did they have a falling out over something? Something Roxy & John didn't know about?

Or is this another psyche?

Although, there might have been something else, maybe Jade has grown closer to Jane on Earth C, they are related after all.

"DAVE: uhDAVE: i think its fair to say shes going to be on our sideKARKAT: YEAHDAVE: maybe a little too much so" Pffff, hah, okay.

... You can take this to mean as "Jade is Team Karkat/Dave all the way" or "Jade will defend her husbands like the feral beast she partially is". I wonder if we'll get some more insight in the troubles it has brought the two Knights, sharing a house with a furry cosplayer. :D

"DAVE: i think we gotta sort out likeDAVE: a hierarchical approach to campaign strategyDAVE: keep it organized and disciplined with roles well definedDAVE: not let things get too murky with uhDAVE: personal shit?KARKAT: I THINK WE’RE ON THE SAME PAGE HERE, DAVE." So they don't want to fall in the trappings of favoritism. Or maybe they just know Jade doesn't have it in her run, politics and campaigning in a serious manner. She might get bored.

"DAVE: uh lets see who elseKARKAT: EGBERT?" Oh boy. The bomb has dropped. Let's see if Dave knows something about what John is going to go up to.

It's starting to look like John leaving will have dire consequences in Earth C as well. Seems we already have a B plot, and not it hasn't even been one page.

"DAVE: john should be easy to convince but im not sure how much of a factor hell be in this campaignDAVE: have no idea how long hell be away on this “mission” rose mentionedKARKAT: WHAT? WHAT MISSION?" Oooooh, cool! So at least Dave was informed, I'm glad. It doesn't seem likely anymore that John can't return, now that we've established this scene is taking place in the present.

"DAVE: dunno shes been hella cagey about itDAVE: swore me to secrecy until the right time whenever that is" Pretty sure Rose just meant the right time to be "whenever you flap your mouth about it to Karkat". :P

"DAVE: anyway his endorsement would go a long way in swinging the consort kingdom" Points again in the direction that the Candy route will be equally long as the Meat route, huh.

"DAVE: swinging them our way should help a lot but it wont be enough to decide the whole thingDAVE: consorts overwhelm the other kingdoms in sheer numbers but due to unscrupulous gerrymandering, all kinds of fucked up voter suppression policies and some electoral “counterbalancing” measures to account for their ridiculous population growth rate their voting power per capita is kind of patheticDAVE: also its hard to drive turnout" So, it seems democracy only goes so far in securing an equal voting system, even in paradise. :/ And, I continue to be impressed by Dave's political knowledge, good going Dave!

"DAVE: this may come as a shock but legions of easily distracted low information amphibians primarily concerned with eating bugs and farming god damned mushrooms arent the most politically motivated demographic" Yay, the mushrooms are still a thing!

"DAVE: so to get them out to the polls well need to get them REALLY excited" Give them a rumpled hat, that'll work.

"DAVE: jake is a huge wild card hereDAVE: im sure his endorsement would be completely up for grabs" Oh, so I guess he and Jane never really talked things out...

"DAVE: he could go any way including just getting turned off by the whole thing and staying “apolitical”" Sounds about right, yeah, he just wants to be left alone in most things.

"DAVE: jake is the only one of us whos wildly popular in all four kingdoms" The English charisma, the doom of quadrants everywhere.

"DAVE: theres no way she doesnt understand the political stakes" There's a higher than zero chance Jake could just change his vote every hour depending on his mood. Try following that in the exit polls...

"KARKAT: SO...KARKAT: IT ALL COMES DOWN TO THE JAKESTAKES THEN.DAVE: pretty muchDAVE: the jakestakes 2.0KARKAT: WHATKARKAT: THERE WAS A 1.0?KARKAT: WHEN DID THAT HAPPEN?DAVE: oh thats likeDAVE: a whole storyKARKAT: IS THIS GOING TO BE ANOTHER ANECDOTE ABOUT THE JAKE SQUAD I WON’T CARE ABOUT AND DON’T WANT TO FUCKING HEAR?DAVE: that sounds like the exact kind of opinion youd have about it so yeah" I'm guessing the Jake Squad is Karkat's affective nickname for the B2 kids. And yes, 1.0 was probably everyone vying for Jake's affection pre-entry.

"DAVE: hmmDAVE: shit hold upKARKAT: WHAT?" Maybe there's already a spot on for Jake supporting Jane. Seems like she'd have one prepared to show, shrewd businesswoman and all.

"DAVE: dirks calling meKARKAT: WHAT THE FUCK DOES HE WANT?DAVE: idk he just calls me out of the blue from time to time to talk shitDAVE: usually about nothing whatsoever" Oh, will Dave meet up with Dirk, like how John went from Rose to Roxy?

"DAVE: hell probably joke about how he needs me to cut off his headKARKAT: HUH???DAVE: its a running gag hes been running into the ground for yearsDAVE: motherfucker is dedicated to his memes ill give him that" Well, we are talking about the same dude who not just beats a dead horse, he poaches it. And it's not like it's unwarranted, it's one short of a pattern with Dirk.

"KARKAT: YOU DON’T THINK HE’S TRYING TO DO SOME...KARKAT: RECONNAISSANCE WORK HERE?KARKAT: LIKE, INTEL GATHERING?" While that would be up to snuff for Dirk, I would wager he'd feel his "bro" and his kin to be off limits. Then again, he can be cold when he needs to be.

"DAVE: ok well i missed the call while we were bullshitting about itDAVE: but yeah ill just call him back now

Dave hits the callback button. On the television, Dirk’s phone begins ringing." ... He was calling live or what? While on television? But they didn't notice him calling Dave on the screen before.

I would put it on the autoresponder but Arquiusprite is AWOL.

"The whole show has stopped so that Dirk can take this call. The camera zooms in on where he’s casually lying on the mat, bruised and a little bit bloody. In the background, Jake strikes an attractive, cocked-hip pose. He’s spinning a revolver around on one finger, affecting an aura of attractive indifference, but the look he’s shooting his sparring partner is caught halfway between confused and exasperated." Dirk took to being a god of unrelentless power like a fish to water. Meanwhile, Jake is miffed his fisticuffs are being momentarily paused.

"DIRK: Got your sword handy?" Ooohhhh. If their show is like a wrestling show, then this is the "heel" calling in back up taking on the "face", right? Dave's going to be a little rusty, though, since the narration said... ... Wait, using it for fake fighting isn't like using the sword properly, is it? PFfff.

"DAVE: alwaysDIRK: Good. See, I’m in sort a bind here.DIRK: And I’m afraid there’s only one way out.KARKAT: OK, I’M FUCKING LEAVING." You succeeded in getting Karkat to leave the couch, Dave, mission accomplished.

---

I really liked seeing Karkat and Dave interact, and I liked that it wasn't just fluff or zany disputes. Seems like there's a story to unfold in Earth C.

I suppose that on Meat 3, the perspective'll switch, but maybe it'll be a Dirk/Dave interaction.

That, or before that happens, we'll get the first "in-canon" page with John.

I had wondered today whether we should check if Homestuck itself was updated, with new pages for John's arrival back in canon. Half-serious I was, but lemme just check the Homestuck log. ... Okay, no. :P

[matsbarzal]

What Jack Doesn’t Know (3) - Noah Hanifin

Notes: bet I would let Noah Hanifin get me pregnant any day... anywho here’s part 3!! also this ones got a little Noah action in it, but nothing spectacular :( next one I promise. ALSO, the end gets a kind of dramatic, and like, kind of bad? This is a trigger warning for a tiny mention of miscarriage towards the end, please don’t read if that is a trigger! 

Requested: kinda

Up next: undecided 

“Do you uh... do you um...”

“Do I know who the father is, mom?”

Shamefully nodding her head, your mom twisted her the hem of her sweater, a worried look on her face. “I do know who the father is. Before you ask, no, he doesn’t know about the baby.”

“Are you going to tell him?” 

Pursuing your lips, you shrugged your shoulders, “I don’t know... probably not? I told Jack I wasn’t going to but he thinks I should.”

“So Jack knows who it is?”

Nodding your head at your mom, you twirled the sonogram picture in your finger, eyeing the tiny speck that was slowly getting bigger and bigger. 

“Do you love him?”

Choking on the sip of water you took, you looked at her in shock. “Jesus mom, is this 20 questions? No I don't love him, we weren’t dating, obviously we forgot to use protection and now I've got a bit of an issue.”

“Noah Hanif-an, then?”

“Hanifin, mom, you’ve known him since we were 14. And possibly, yes.”

Ignoring your correction of Noah’s last name, she gestured for the sonogram in your hand. “At least my grandchild will be beautiful. He must have fantastic genetics. Have you seen him?”

Shaking your head in silent laughter at her words, you simply nodded your head, agreeing with her. 

A few moments of silence passed as the episode of Grey’s Anatomy played on the television screen.

‘Can you help me unravel my latest mistake? I don't love him, winter just wasn't my season.’

“God mom, what am I gonna do? I can’t... he can't know, this was such a mistake, I should’ve listened to Jack mom, fuck.” Tittering at the vulgar words leaving your mouth, your mom moved closer, wrapping her arm around you and pulling you towards her side as tears slipped from your eyes. 

“We’ll figure this out, baby. You’re not alone. You’ve got so many people around you, we’ll figure it out, we always have, haven't we?”

The offseason in Boston was filled with three things, parties, parties, and 4th of July parties. Or at least, thats what it usually was. The moment the beginning of June hit, and the party texts started flying in, you were able to avoid most of them, citing ‘chronic illness’, ‘babysitting’, ‘work’, and so forth as the reason why you couldn’t come.  

Those excuses became a little difficult when Jack showed up at your front door, unannounced, again. “I thought you were just avoiding Noah, not all of us. Even Auston’s worried about where the hell you’ve been, and Auston only cares about himself and his ripped jeans.” 

“I've been sick.”

“With Noahitis? You’re not even showing, the least you can do is show up at some parties and act like you don't hate everyone all of a sudden. Everyone’s blaming Noah anyways, they think he broke your heart or something. Only if they knew the truth.” 

Shoving Jack, you ignored his comment. “I don’t wanna be around a bunch of drunk hockey players and puck bunnies, Jack. It’s not healthy, what if I get shoved or something? Or if someone spikes my drink? I don’t want to fuck this thing up before it gets out of its pea-sized phase.”

Rolling his eyes, Jack plopped down on the couch beside you, pulling the duvet that was covering you over his legs. “One party, that’s all I’m asking for. I’m hosting a 4th of July party. It’ll be the only party this summer before everyone goes home and stuff, please come. A few of the girls wanna see you too.” 

The ginger pleaded with you, his attempt at puppy dog eyes just making you completely uncomfortable. “Ugh, fine. Stop making that face, it’s making you look uglier than you already are.” 

“Wow, add a bit of Noah’s genetics into your body and you’re suddenly a female him. Disgusting.”

“And you can’t see anything? It still looks completely flat?” Your mom nodded her head for the fourth time. The black and white shirt hung loose, with a small zipper at the top being the only tight part of it. Matched with a pair of black bottoms, you couldn’t deny that it outlined your curves and did not, whatsoever show your non-existent bump.

“You look the same that you looked last summer, now go, before Jack sends the mob looking for you.” 

Laughing, you grabbed your car keys from the table. Pulling the front door open, you made your way towards the car. Not being able to drink had its perks, you were able to drive yourself to and from parties, you didn’t have to worry about being an idiot, and you could leave whenever you wanted to. 

Your house was a quick ten minute drive from Jack’s, the proximity between your two houses being part of the reason why you grew up such good friends. 

Parking your car on the street outside Jack’s house, you walked towards the door, opening it, you were immediately hit with the loud voices and music pumping through the front of the house. 

“(Y/N)!” A chorus of your name went throughout the dining room, which had apparently been turned into the beer pong room, with the looks of it. Smiling and waving at a few of yours and Jack’s mutual friends, you felt yourself being tugged into the kitchen, an arm around your waist.

“My favourite girl is here! (Y/N)!” God, Jack was the most obnoxious drunk.

“You’re already off it Eichel?” 

“You’re not my mom, (Y/N), boss your own kid around.” 

Pinching his wrist, you encircled your own arm around his waist, a grin plastered across your face. You missed this. Hanging out with your drunk friends, seeing everyone so happy and enthusiastic and just living life. 

You felt a solo cup being thrust into your hand, which you tried to hand back, just for the person to reject it. A fake smile went across your lips in thanks at the other person as they yelled past you to whoever was apparently, “breaking the fucking vase, you crackhead.”

Looking towards the culprit, you made direct eye contact with Noah’s blue eyes, a large smirk overtaking his face as he caught your eye. 

“(Y/N)!” Yelling, Noah walked towards you, ignoring the person yelling about the vase he pulled you into his arms, his hands resting on your waist as he hugged you.

Awkwardly hugging him back, he pulled away and smiled down at you. “Hi, Noah.” 

“Man, I haven’t seen you in like... a month. Where’ve ya been?” 

Shrugging your shoulders at him, “Ya know... around and stuff.”

“Oh okay, whatcha drinking? Want a refill? Apparently Jack’s being a terrible host tonight.” Leading you towards the table stacked with alcohol, Noah gestured towards the multiple bottles. 

“Pick your poison, I’ll mix you a great drink. Those Swedes in Carolina have been teaching me how to make some mean Swedish drinks.”

“Oh uh... I’ll just grab a cup of sprite or coke or something.”

Looking at you weirdly, Noah shook his head. “Nah. C’mon, one drink. You always drink at these parties, you’re always the life of the party. Especially after.” 

Lowering his voice and his head for the last comment, Noah got closer to your ear. The hand that was still on your waist began gently rubbing circles against the exposed skin there. “Jack won’t know if we just... disappear, babe.”

A shudder ran through your body at the feeling of him so close, a tingle running right to your core at the images that ran through your brain. The coherent part of you shook your head, gently pulling yourself out of Noah’s arms. “We shouldn’t do that anymore, we promised Jack we wouldn’t.”

“When has that ever stopped us before, baby?” Moving closer to you again, you didn’t realize that he was cornering you into the wall until your back hit it, a soft gasp leaving your lips. 

“You should only be making that sound when you’re bouncing on me, you know that (Y/N).” 

“Noah I... I need to go to the bathroom.” Shoving past him, you ran towards the stairs, skipping each second step as you made your way upstairs and towards Jack’s ensuite bathroom. Locking the door after you entered, you turned the sink tap on cold, gently holding your sweaty hands underneath the cool water.

Your head felt like it was spinning. He always knew how to do this to you, make you want him until you were going crazy. This is exactly what got you in the predicament in the first place. Shaking it off, you moved towards the toilet, pulling your shorts down and then your panties, you didn’t notice the spot on the light blue until you were sat down. 

When you did a soft cry left your mouth. Red... everywhere. Wiping yourself revealed more of your nightmare, and more red. 

Pulling your panties and shorts back on, you rushed to wash your hands, pulling the bathroom door open to run, quite literally, into a hard chest.

“(Y/N)?” 

“Get out of my way, Noah. I need to go.” You didn’t realize the nervous tears were flowing down your cheeks until Noah swiped one off. 

“You shouldn’t drive like this kid, what’s wrong?” 

“Noah, I really need to go, please get out of the way.” Shaking his head, Noah gestured to the keys in his hand. 

“Let me take you home, you shouldn’t drive when you’re this upset. You can even tell me what’s wrong on the way there, I won’t make any snide remarks, please?”

“I’m not going home, Noah.” You tried to push past him against, just for him to gently grab your arm. “Let me drive you wherever you’re going then.”

“Jesus, Noah. I need to go to the hospital, can you please just let me go, for fuck sakes?” 

[perfectlyrose]

obscured: chapter two

Summary: The forest is a dangerous place. Impenetrable fog has descended on it for one day a month for as long as anyone can remember. There are stories of wolves and ghosts haunting the woods and tales of doomed lovers from long ago. Things are about to change though and maybe love will find a way after all. (Nine/Rose AU)  AN: *coughs guiltily* hi i'm here with my yearly update of this fic. i hope to have another chapter up by the end of the year so keep an eye out for that! Also, note that age difference in this fic. This is a younger version of Nine - a little less jaded (though still some), maybe a little more optimistic, etc.  (Also any opportunity to picture a young CE is a good opportunity. He looks good at any age tbh, but there is a dearth of mid-late twenties CE in my life so here we are.) Word Count: 3803 // Rating: All Ages AO3 // tumblr // TSP // FF

"Rose! I was getting worried!" Jackie exclaimed, hurrying over to her daughter the moment she walked in the door of their cottage.

Rose gripped her mum's arms, surprised by the intensity of Jackie's distress. She'd expected to walk in to a lecture on going further into the woods and staying longer than necessary, not to Jackie in an almost panic.

"What's wrong? I wasn't gone any longer than usual." Rose said, leaning over to set her basket of herbs and mushrooms on the table. She turned back to her mum and saw the fear behind her eyes. "What happened?"

Jackie shook her head. "Nothin' yet, love. But someone new's come into the village and I've got a bad feeling about them and you weren't home yet. I was just worried."

"I'm sorry I got you worried," Rose said, pulling Jackie into a hug. "I took a little longer than I meant to."

Jackie pulled out of the hug and pushed at her shoulder with a snort. "No, you didn't."

Rose laughed. "Yeah, alright. But I did get some more wolfsheart today, I know we were running low."

"Why don't you go put everything up in the stillroom?"

Rose picked up her basket again but didn't move towards the back room. "What about the stranger's got you all on edge? Usually you're the first one to invite someone new around for the latest news from abroad."

Jackie's mouth hardened into a line. "I've just got a bad feeling about 'im. Something about his eyes makes me distrust him."

Rose bit her bottom lip and headed towards the back room. Her mum's instincts about people were usually good but she did have a tendency to rush to judgment based on them. She'd have to wait to see if she spotted this stranger herself, maybe ask the forest if he'd gone through there and made any impression.

The trees had a good impression of her Doctor, of John. She wondered what Jackie would think if she met him. She bit back a smile at the thought. The Doctor would have a hell of a time with trying to talk circles around her mum but they'd probably get around to swapping healing lore before long. They could bond over that.

Rose shook her head as she bundled herbs for drying. One actual conversation with her healer and she was imagining how her mother would like him. She always was one for getting ahead of herself.

She was putting up the wolfsheart when she heard someone knock on the door. It was too authoritative to be any of their neighbors and Rose was halfway out of the stillroom when Jackie caught her eye and shooed her back inside, motioning for her to shut the door as well.

The worry was back in Jackie's eyes so Rose did as she was told. As soon as the stillroom door shut with a soft click, she pressed her ear against the worn wood, anxious to know what was happening out in the main room.

The voices were muffled but she could make out her mum's clipped tone and the oily smooth pronunciation of a stranger talking about some sort of healing remedy for a deep bruise.

"Let me make up a poultice for you to take with you. I've got what I need in my stillroom." Jackie's voice was clear as she turned towards the door Rose was pressed against.

"I'd love to see where you do your magic," the oily voice said.

Rose shuddered. Something about the man's voice rubbed her the wrong way and made her long for the safety of the forest. Jackie was definitely right to distrust him.

"Nothing magic about it," Jackie said, steel in her tone leaving no room for argument. "But I don't like strangers in my stillroom. I'll be out in a just a mo' with your poultice."

Rose backed up from the door, positioning herself behind it so that she wouldn't be seen when Jackie slipped inside. The two women shared a look laden with meaning before Jackie began to assemble her bruise remedy.

She crushed a handful of parsley with her mortar and pestle and then added some mint and lavender to soothe the senses more than the injury. She finished it off with a sprinkle of water Rose had gathered from a hollow stump after the first rainfall of spring.

Jackie tied it all up in a cloth and stepped out of the stillroom two minutes after she'd entered, closing the door firmly behind her.

Rose heard them Jackie explaining how to best use the remedy and then discuss the price briefly before the front door opened and shut.

A few minutes passed before Jackie opened the door to the stillroom. "You can come out now if you're done putting up what you gathered today."

Rose leaned against the counter, watching her mother closely. She looked exhausted after the encounter with their customer. "That was the stranger in town you were worried about, yeah?"

"Unfortunately. Apparently someone pointed him our direction to get a poultice."

"Who is he?"

"Hopefully, we never find out," Jackie said with finality. "Now, why don't you show me what else you picked up today when you went further into the forest than what I asked you to?"

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

Rose stayed close to the cottage for the next couple of days. Word was the stranger was still hanging around town. He apparently wasn't talking to anyone but he paid handsomely for room and board so the people of Powell let him be. As far as anyone could fathom, he was waiting for something or someone, although what he possibly thought could happen in somewhere as isolated as their village was beyond them.

By late afternoon of the third day, Rose couldn't stand sitting around any longer and made her way towards the forest with her gathering basket. Her sturdy grey cloak kept the unseasonably brisk breeze at bay and she practically ran to the treeline.

The hood of her cloak fell around her shoulders and as it did, Rose felt a chill steal over her that had nothing to do with autumn quickly closing in. Someone was watching her. The young oaks around her, steady and protective, didn't like it any more than she did, and they filled her head with their buzzing concern.

She slipped further inside the forest, sticking to the path until she was sure she was out of the sight of whoever was observing her. The moment the trees around her exuded relief at her being unobserved, Rose set off at a run towards a clearing half a mile from any path, knowing no one would be able to find her there without the help of the forest or someone who knew it as well as her.

By the time she got there, her heart was pounding and she'd almost managed to run away from the feeling of a cold gaze sliding over her body from afar. The chatty bushes and saplings in the clearing did the rest to help distract her and banish the memory for the time being.

She returned home calmer than when she left but with a feeling of foreboding that even the forest hadn't been able to erase.

The next day, the stranger left town without a word.

If he passed through the forest on his way in or out of Powell, none of the trees or bushes would speak to Rose about his passing.

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

Rose ran to the woods, blue cloak fluttering behind her. Autumn had set in fully now and the forest floor was covered in a damp blanket of red, gold, and brown. The chill in the air stung her cheeks as she wound her way along the paths but she barely felt it in her excitement.

John should be back today. Or rather, he was back if the gossiping trees were correct. This time she was determined to sneak up on him instead of the other way around. If the trees would just tell her what path he was on, she was sure she could pull it off.

Finally a group of maples told her through the arboreal version of giggles that the healer had just passed them. Rose hurried in their direction as some ash trees chimed in from further down the path to confirm what the maples said.

She was grinning bright and wide as she stepped soundlessly onto the path behind John. She could tell he was scanning the underbrush on either side of the path, keeping an eye out for her.

"Looking for something, Doctor?" Rose called out.

He didn't jump but it was a close thing. When he turned to face her, there was a smile as big as her own on his face. "Someone, actually. You seen any wood sprites around here? Looking for one about this high," he put a hand up, indicating her height, "blonde, bit gorgeous."

Rose's heart skipped a beat. She tucked her tongue into the corner of her smile. "Just a bit?"

"Maybe more than a bit," John replied, smile not fading at all as he walked towards her.

"Mmm, don't know any wood sprites of that description," she said.

He reached and linked their hands together, pulling her closer. "You're sure about that?"

"Pretty sure, yeah."

"Shame. I'll have to keep looking then." John made like he was pulling away from her but Rose tightened her grip on his hand.

"Don't you dare."

Rose closed the distance between them and wrapped her arms around him, hands bumping against the bulging pack on back. It didn't feel like it was the first time she had hugged him as she rested her head against his woolen jumper. It felt like she'd been doing this forever.

John's hands were tentative as he splayed them on her back, holding her to him.

"I missed you," he admitted quietly, mouth just above her ear.

Rose pulled back just enough to look up at him. "You barely even know me," she said, watching his face carefully.

"Are you saying you didn't miss me?"

She scoffed. "Of course I missed you, you plonker."

"And you barely know me," he pointed out.

Alright, fair enough," she conceded. She stepped out of his embrace but reached out to reclaim his hand. "So, Doctor, tell me about where you've been travelling? I know a place we can sit for a while if you've got time."

"I always have time for you."

"Smooth talker all of a sudden," Rose teased.

John made a face. "You'd be the first to accuse me of that. Usually stumbling over my words when I'm not talking about medicine, me."

"Haven't done with me."

"You seem to be an exception to the rule, Rose Tyler," he said, squeezing her hand.

"Good. So, where have you been lately?" she asked as she led him off the path. There was a small stream nearby that she sometimes swam in. It was too cold today but it was still a pretty spot to sit and talk.

"Oh, here and there. Nowhere particularly exciting," John hedged.

"Everywhere's exciting to me," Rose insisted. "I've never left Powell except to come into the forest."

"I don't think I've ever been to Powell," he mused.

"You haven't. Everyone in town would know if you'd been through."

She shuddered at the thought of the last stranger who'd passed through. He hadn't been back yet but she couldn't shake the feeling that he would be.

"Are you cold?" John asked, looking down at her with concern.

"Nah, just had a bad thought, is all."

He raised an eyebrow.

"Really. It's nothing. The conversation just reminded me of the last outsider who came through town," Rose elaborated.

"Didn't care for them?"

"Gave me the creeps even though I never got a proper look at him," Rose admitted. The sound of the water was growing louder and she picked up her pace, dragging John along with her in an attempt to forestall any further questions.

Rose found the old stump by the stream and took her usual seat on it. John set his pack down and then lowered himself to the ground, laying on his side with the grace of a cat and completely heedless of the dampness of the forest floor from last night's rain.

"Tell me about your travels?" Rose asked again.

This time he relented. "What do you want to know, curious little wood sprite?"

"Everything."

Rose leaned forward, propping her elbows on knees, waiting for whatever story he chose to tell. She'd imagined a million of them all the times she'd shadowed him through the forest. She could tell even then by the wear on his pack and the ease of his long stride that he travelled often and far.

She'd wanted to know everything about him then. Now the need was even stronger.

"Went west to the Forest of Cheem, have you heard of it?"

Rose shook her head.

"It's different kind of forest than this one, much less feared. There's a whole city's worth of people who live within it, coexisting with the trees and the flow of nature," he said, admiration clear in his voice. "It's fantastic, it really is. If you don't know the community is there, you'd never even see them with how they've integrated themselves. It's almost like they've become trees, somehow."

"Find any wood sprites there?" Rose asked, raising an eyebrow at him. Her tone was a little more arch than she intended but her healer just chuckled, low and deep.

"No wood sprites. Had the local equivalent of a princess proposition me, though."

"And you said you weren't a smooth talker!"

"She was the one doing the propositioning, not me! I thought she'd just been being nice, helping me with finding the patients who needed attention. Figured she flirted with everyone if she flirting with this daft old face."

Rose nudged him with her foot. "S'not daft. Anyone with eyes would be flirting with you."

Or ears, she thought to herself. She loved the rumble of his voice, the unique way his tongue wrapped around words and the cadence of his accent.

John just shook his head, self-deprecating smile clear to read.

"I mean it," Rose insisted.

The copse of alders across the stream snickered at her and she shot them a mental reproach hoping that they heard her. She didn't need the persnickety trees commenting on her own attempts at flirting.

He smiled at her, blue eyes brightening as her sincerity registered.

"You know," he started, speaking in a casual tone that did was obviously put on, "despite the relationship the people of Cheem have with their forest, no one quite interacted with it the way you do with these trees."

Rose froze and then carefully, consciously loosened her muscles, trying to appear casual herself. "Maybe I'm just an odd duck," she offered.

"Or you've got the land magic that most are still convinced is a myth."

Rose just fixed him with a glare.

"Alright, alright, I'll leave it be for now. I'm just curious. I've been studying the sparse accounts and legends of it for years and you're the first person I've ever come across that might be able to confirm or dismiss my theories."

"So I'm just a science experiment, then?" Rose asked, pain lancing through her chest. It hurt more than she could have anticipated to realize that maybe her healer was not interested in her the same way she was in him.

How could he not feel the pull dragging them together? Did he not feel like there were live sparks tumbling through his veins and heating him through when they were touching? Was she in this all on her own?

Stupid, stupid, stupid, she thought, looking away from him in the split second after she asked her question. He was a fully accredited doctor, of course he wouldn't have any interest in girl from a tiny village who wasn't even a proper healer.

"No!" The word burst out of him with unexpected force.

Rose looked back at him, questioning look at her face.

John moved to a kneeling position, looking up at her. "You're not an experiment to me, Rose. Not at all."

"No?"

"No." He kept her gaze, expression serious until he was sure she believed him and then cracked a small smile. "Besides, one doesn't turn down a proposition from a princess so they can make their date with a science experiment."

Rose laughed. "Alright, I guess I'll believe that."

"Good, because it's true."

Silence fell between them and Rose could hear the alders laughing again. At least she didn't have to worry about them sharing the whole story with any of the more gossipy trees. The alders liked to maintain an air of mystery and just talked amongst themselves.

There were some birches nearby that might tell the tale though. She groaned mentally. The forest wasn't going to let her hear the end of this for days.

"Are you heading back to the east edge of the forest?" Rose asked.

John nodded.

"You should probably start heading that way if you want to stay on the path you were on and still make it out by nightfall."

"Good plan."

"Then follow me, Doctor." She stood and waited for him to grab his pack and do the same before linking their hands again.

"You always going to call me Doctor?" he asked, sounding amused.

Rose looked up at him. "Didn't sound like you were too fond of your name. Would you rather me call you John?"

He shook his head. "No, I just... I'm not used to people listening when I ask them to call me something else, I suppose."

"Well, you were my healer for months before I talked to you so switching to calling you my Doctor was easy," she said, beaming up at him.

Just like she'd hoped, the tips of his ears turned pink and his eyes darkened a touch at her claiming him as hers again.

Rose got them back to the path and then dropped his hand, unsure now of what to do. It was difficult to part ways when she wanted to do anything but walk away from him.

He nodded towards the small basket she had with her. "Have I kept you from your gathering?"

She shook her head.  "I just brought it in case I spotted something I wanted."

"And you didn't?"

Rose flicked her eyes down his body and then back up to meet his gaze. "I did, but I don't think my basket's big enough."

His eyes darkened as her words sunk in and Rose felt a thrill go through her at knowing she'd caused this reaction. John reached out and pulled her against him for another hug.

"I'll be back next month, my little wood sprite."

"Not so little," she protested, not moving from the embrace.

"Littler than me," he said, resting his chin on her head in demonstration.

Reluctantly, she started to pull away after another few moments. The days were getting shorter and she didn't want John to be in the woods after dark because of her. John's hold on her didn't let her get very far.

Rose tilted her head up and let out a tiny gasp at the intensity of his gaze. She could feel his thumb rub against her back through her cloak, grounding and comforting as he searched her face for something.

Rose just let her heart shine though her eyes and hoped he found whatever he was looking for.

Slowly, giving her every chance to pull away, John leaned down and pressed a lingering kiss to her cheek, right off the corner of her mouth.

He pulled back after a couple of seconds that had slowed into a small eternity.

"I'll see you soon, my Rose," he said, voice rougher than it had been moments earlier.

"Until next time, Doctor," she answered. Knowing that if she stayed even a breath longer, she would jump back into his arms and do her best to kiss him senseless, Rose smiled at him and then turned and darted off into the trees.

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

John watched her go and let out a long breath as she seemingly vanished after taking a couple steps off the path. If his pulse wasn't still pounding and his lips tingling from their almost-kiss, he would think she might well be a vision, a creation of his imagination or something that haunted these mysterious woods to lure travelers off the path.

But Rose was real and he had just almost kissed her. He ran a hand down his face, fingertips lingering on his lips. He'd wanted to haul her against him and snog her properly. The way her golden-brown eyes had darkened and shimmered as she looked up at him, breath catching, told him that she had expected him to, wanted him to.

He groaned and started walking down the path. Rose had been right to say that they barely knew each other but it was hard to remember that particular fact when she was grinning at him and bantering like they'd known each other their whole lives. She had to be six or seven years younger than him but it didn't seem to matter.

Something about her just drew him in though, a gravity all her own. He hadn’t been able to stop thinking about her this entire month even though they had only a half hours acquaintance. The woman was magical, in more ways than one.

John grimaced as remembered her reaction to him pushing about her land sense. He had not intended to make her feel like all she was to him was a curiosity or experiment. He did desperately want to know more about the magic she wasn't talking about and her connection to the forest, and there were people who he was aware of in the magical community who would treat her as an experiment, but he was far more interested in her as a person.

The hurt painted on her face and the doubts that had slumped her shoulders in the wake of his questions were going to haunt him, he thought. He never wanted to make her look like that again.

He much preferred her sparkling, wild smile or the look of breathless anticipation right before he kissed her.

Those were expressions he planned on being the cause of again. The latter one in particular, he knew he would be dreaming about for the next month.

Although magic involving time was one of his specialties, he knew he couldn't make the days until their next meeting go by any faster, but it didn't stop him from wishing that he could.

[wandering-chronicler-blog]

The Wolf of Farore - Chapter 12

An Ongoing Zelda/Witcher Fusion Fic - Updates Wednesdays/Thursdays

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Author Note:  (July 26, 2017):  Hey everyone.  Just as a heads-up, I am doing a small bit of housekeeping as I’ve noticed that the chapters don’t show up in a dash if I include an outside link.  There’ll still be an Ao3 link but it won’t be on the posts.  It’ll instead be on an archive page which will get put together.  I also apologize for any inconvenience this creates.

Summary:

War has come to The Kingdom of Hyrule.  The people cry for a savior as monsters and spirits stalk the once green fields of the provinces.  Famine grips the populace as the Gerudo Tribes and their blin allies strike along the borders.  Hope for peace begins to drown in the blood spilled in No Man’s Land.  But Hyrule doesn’t need another hero.  It needs a professional.

The Story So Far:

After finding most of the refugees at the camp turned into shadow beasts, Link, Midna and the gorons clear Old Kakariko of the monsters and rescue a small number of survivors.  However, the rogue sorcerer from The Twilight is right under their noses, at the bottom of an abandoned well concealing an ancient Sheikah prison...

CHAPTER 12:  TWISTED TWILIT SORCERER:  MAJORA’S HERALD

The bottom of the well was not what either of them had expected initially, but it made sense from what Link recalled from old history lessons about The Inquisition.  About how some old Sheikah forts and prisons were hidden in plain sight.  After a minute of walking, Link and Midna both came to the entrance and both instantly knew it had been a prison.  A metal mesh was on the brick wall in front of them.  Link scaled it in moments and they saw the main chamber.

 The large square room lead off in three directions.  One to the west and east and one north.  The way west was blocked off by rubble and debris, suggesting it had collapsed some time long ago.  The way east was open and a glance down the way revealed numerous cells.  Over a dozen broken corpses lay in heaps in some of them with flies buzzing around them.  A few even had gaping holes in the back of their heads.

 “By the Twin Sols,” Midna said.  “So many bodies.  And they smell real fresh still.”

 “Damnit.”  

 “All the more reason to find him.”  She shook her head.  “This doesn’t make any sense though.  Seeing this suggests he’s been here longer than he’s had the mask.”

“What could he have possibly been doing to those refugees?” Link asked, entering one of the cells. “This looks like he either was torturing them or performing vivisection.”  He squatted down to inspect one of the bodies.  The damage to the back of the poor man’s head was just like that of the dragon.  Carefully, he saw a dead twilit bloat inside.  “Not that that there’s…”  He cut himself off as he noticed something.  “Wait a second.”

 “What?”

   “Can you give me a little more light?”  As he spoke, the small glowing sol floated over and glowed brighter.  It gave him a better look at the barbarism that had been inflicted.  Some of the more intact bodies though immediately had Link’s gaze.  The muscles were swollen and the bones twisted.  He knew magic could do this, but it was clearly not forced by magic.  It looked more like as if it had deliberately been grown that way.  There was also how the bones looked thicker in some places and thinner in others.  This all looked far too familiar from his time as a Chosen Champion of The Crown. “Midna, you said one time there are still hexers in The Twilight.  Do they use mutagens for The Change or is it all magic?” 

“I don’t know.  I could find out though.”

 “Good.  Because the way some of the damage looks, he may have been messing with mutagens on these people.  And they have bloats in their skulls too.”

 He heard her sharply inhale. “Gods, that’d mean that…”  Midna shook her head.  “Only a child before puberty could possibly survive them.”

 “Yeah, I’m right here.” He got back up.  “Most of the time if an ordinary person takes those mutagens they’ll just die.  But if kept alive with magic through The Change and done properly, you’ll get a mindless hulk.  Like the dullest of big blins.”  He glanced over at the bodies once more.  “Well, not quite mindless, but still.”

 “Seen this before, huh?”

Link gave her a single nod.  “South Seas.  One of my first solo assignments.”  

 “Tell me more when we’re done here.”  She held an open palm out and the small sol floated back to hover over her palm.  “We gotta find him and get the mask back.”

 “Agreed.”  He started for the door, but paused, quickly drawing the sword from his back.  At seeing that, in Midna’s free hand, orange and teal bands of light began to dance and crackle.  A second later though, the magic vanished and Link lowered his sword.  What he’d thought were a pair of impish monsters were just grotesque statues standing at the archway back into the main room.

 “The statues?” Midna asked. He thought he could hear her smirking.

 “Yeah.  They looked like foglets in the light and shadow.” He reached back and slipped the sword back in its scabbard.  “They’re too thin though.  The arms are too long and the legs are too short.”

 “Never seen anything like it before.  Kinda ghastly to look at them, huh?”

 Link nodded before stepping past the statues and back into the main room.

At the end of the hall they came to what looked like had once been a mirror chamber.  Numerous torches were set around an altar in the center. In front of a ruined pedestal and stand that had once held a magic mirror was the wall and upon it was a defaced Sheikah Eye with deep gashes sliced into the stone.  What caught their attention though was the figure sitting cross-legged in front of the ruined pedestal.  They wore dark robes with turquoise accents and a mantle similar to Midna’s.  His sleeves were massive and his orange hair was cut short.  Link couldn’t see their hands, but he was sure spellwork was already being prepared in them.  There was a snap and their head jolted upright.  He was wearing the accursed mask and watched them through its warped eyes. He cocked his head to the left, with another snap, and then to the right.  The mask’s eyes moved independently, following the hylian and twili in the room.

 “Do you know who we are?” Midna asked.

 “You…” they said, but the voice didn’t sound right to Link’s ears.  It was an even and calm male’s voice.  But it was too evenly paced; too rehearsed to be truly natural.  “You are a traitor...  You are both traitors.  You turn against your own.  But do you... Do you see yourself as a traitor?” His head jerked around to face Midna. He said something that Link recognized as Twilise, but other than that had no idea what he said.

 She replied in the same language.  Link picked up some pieces of it, but could guess she was asking him to remove the mask.

 “Chaos has two faces, Princess,” he said, the unnatural voice returning.  Link stayed quiet, watching it.  He glanced once at Midna to see her standing casually, but he’d caught a brief moment of surprise.  Ateren’s head moved and was glaring right at him.  He could see magic beginning to crackle along and around the edge of the mask.

 “Wait,” Midna said.  “Ateren, stop this.  You could spark a war doing this!”

“But…  But we were made this way.  They called us monsters.  Demonspawn.  You dare suggest that a war isn’t justified?”  He cocked his head back and forth a couple times and exhaled sharply.  Ateren’s arms jerked upward.  That’s when Link saw it.  The mask was fused to his face.  “And you seek to appease our jailors and their puppets.”  He was standing now, on one leg and watching the twili.  His body twitched before he brought their arms inward and then snapped them out again.  “You are not worthy of your title.  Or your bloodline.  A true Monarch of Twilight would…  Would…” A crackle of energy began to dance out of the long sleeves.  Link could feel the energy in the air.  Another glance at his partner and already saw a globe of turquoise magic between her palms. It was just a question now who was going to make the first move.  Link slipped his shield on his back as quietly as he could.  The two twili mages were watching one another, ignoring him entirely.  Link was hoping that’d be the mistake their quarry made.

  Link pulled his crossbow from his side.  A silver bolt already loaded.  He’d have preferred to have the light magic enchanted ones, but they had been taken from him back at the castle.  One of the sorcerer’s arms shot towards him, a trio of bolts of magic shooting out of the sleeve.  Link fired. The silver bolt shattered against a magic barrier while two of Ateren’s shots hit Link square in the chest.  One shot clean through his arm.  He already felt himself bleeding, but the magic of his armor mended the minor injuries.

 Midna’s arms flew apart and the globe between her hands vanished in a flash.  A pair of twilit wolves appeared out of the long shadows cast by the torches and rushed the sorcerer.  Out of Ateren’s other sleeve was a lash of red energy.  One of the wolves was hit and vanished into darkness as the lash cut deeply into the chamber’s wall.  The other moved to be between the sorcerer and Link.

 He watched as the two circled, seeing the sorcerer move their arms like Midna had.  Within moments there was a flurry of magic flashing between the two of them.  He backed away for a moment.  There was a lull as Ateren melted into a shadow and emerged a moment later.  More black sprites fell from above.  Link saw glowing red twilit markings on each. They engulfed the wolf, who began to fight back.

 Link pulled his sword from his back.  One of the sprites skittered on the floor and leapt for him, tentacles writhing out the back. As it flew in the air, he swung. It was cleaved in two and vanished. Another came for him and another. He quickly counted dozens of them. Another jumped and smashed into his shield.  Yet another of the shadow vermin bit his ankle.  Seeing he was going to be overwhelmed, he made a sign in his hand and slammed his palm into the ground.  A dome of fire erupted around him and incinerated the vermin.  He glanced up to see the sorcerer again.  A glowing ball of magic was coming right for him. Before it struck though a dark funnel with turquoise around it appeared in front of him and pulled it in.

 “Got anything that could help you avoid getting hit?” Midna asked.  She was right by his side now.  Another lash of magic came from their attacker and forced them to dive apart. “Or taking one?!”  She opened the portal again.  The spell came out of it, the sorcerer dodged.

 “Keep him busy for a second!”  Link had one thing in mind.  He pulled the Din’s Fury from a pouch and ripped the cork out with his teeth.  He downed the potion in a single gulp and dropped the vial.

  His heart pounded as he felt the fluid in his throat boil.  His muscles tensed as he saw more sprites falling from above.  They didn’t seem to be falling as quickly.  With a deep breath, he swung his sword in an arc, slicing through more of the falling vermin.  A return swing sliced a couple more of the vermin before they touched the ground.   As he cut through the last one, he pulled a grenade. He heard a snap and saw Midna had lit its fuse with her magic, even though she was on the other side of the room. A great turquoise lash of energy was wrapped with the red one from Ateren.  Midna let out a cry as she directed her arc right.  It threw her attacker into the sheikah eye on the wall.  Link tossed the bomb in his hand as they flew.  It clattered against the wall and exploded.

 There was no sign of a body. They knew he’d vanished into a shadow. Link and Midna stood with their backs to one another, watching the room.  He heard her energies crackling in her hands.  Another snap and he saw one of her wolves appear.  “The mask is part of him,” Link said.  “No way we’re getting it off.”  

 “Plan B then,” she said.

 Link glanced down to see a field of shadow forming.  “Please tell me that’s you.”

 “It is.”  He could hear the field expanding.  Glancing over his shoulder he saw her holding her hands up. Another magic whip appeared and swung. Link rolled forward, ducking under it. The torches flew through the air. He got up in time to see Midna catch it with her own magic in another challenge.  The masked sorcerer floated forward before the field of dark energy Midna had laid down ensnared him.  Link saw orange bands around their legs.  They lashed out with their other hand and threw another trio of bolts at Midna. She was knocked back and collided with the wall.  There was a flash of orange as she hit it.

 He pulled his shield from his back and moved to stand between her and the attacker.  Ateren had two glowing whips of magic now.  The sorcerer jumped upward and spun.  Link made another sign with his fingers and ducked. He heard a gentle hum as the blue crystal formed around him.  There was a loud shriek with each strike against it.  With the fourth, Link saw it shatter.   He glanced back to Midna as the sorcerer moved away from them.

  “I’m okay!” she said, getting to her feet once more.  He saw a faint orange sphere vanish from around her.

 “Can you bind him again?”

 There was that familiar, cocky grin on her lips.  One he had seen many times in the months they’d worked together during The Conjunction. Not another word was needed.  Link beat the pommel of his sword against his shield a couple times, grabbing the sorcerer’s attention.  The shield suddenly was pelted by red bolts as Link ducked behind it.

 Link gritted his teeth as he felt the magic rattle against his shield.  The hail stopped for a moment.  He glanced over the top to see Ateren throwing another large globe of energy at him.  Had he not imbibed the potion, he’d have been hit.  Instead, he dropped his shield and grabbed his blade with both hands.  In a single swing, steel struck the magic ball and sent it flying back at the caster.  

 Before Ateren could try and invert the spell back at him, darkness formed under him.  Two bands of orange wrapped around his legs and then two more jumped out and grabbed their arms.  He let out a scream as the globe came back and struck him square in the chest. Dark red lightning crackled around his body and frayed his robe.  Midna pulled her hands down and their opponent was on their knees.  Link leapt forward and swung down with a shout.  The blade went through back of the sorcerer’s neck and his head rolled off.

They stood for a moment to catch their breath then.  Link felt his body shaking; another effect of the Din’s Fury mixing with the adrenaline and how much magic he’d already used.  Midna had her hands on her knees and was catching her breath.  She quickly stood back up with magic ready though. When Link looked up, he saw the dead mage’s head floating upward.  It turned in the air to look at them.  The twili sorcerer’s head fell back to the floor, leaving just the mask floating in the air.  Link caught a glimpse of it.  Ateren’s eyes were wide and mouth frozen in a scream.  Dark holes looked like they had been drilled into his jaws, brow and cheeks.

 “Uh, Midna?” Link asked, fingers coiling a little tighter around his sword.  The mask remained floating in the air, its eyes fixed on his partner.

 “Okay, that’s a surprise,” she said.

 “It served its purpose,” a voice said.  Like when they’d entered, it was calm, even and direct.  “A puppet that can no longer be used is mere garbage.”  The mask’s eyes flickered and the yellow whiskers twitched.  There was a rattling sound before Midna raised her hands defensively.   Magic crackled between her fingers, but it flickered and died in seconds.  She was reaching for it, eyes wide.  He saw her trying to step back, but slipping on her heels.  

 Link pulled the crossbow off his hip again and loaded a silver bolt when he saw her starting to struggle to keep from grabbing it.

 “Link!” she shouted. “It’s…”

 “I see it!”  He aimed and fired the crossbow at the back of the mask then.

 “What are you-“she began, but the snap of the bowstring cut her off.  The mask spun around and the arrow struck a barrier of magic.  A second later, orange bands wrapped around it, Midna’s magic freed from whatever had happened.  In spite of the magic and her struggling, it drifted towards her, eyes still fixed on Link.  “No… No!”

 In that instant, Link acted on his instincts.  He dropped the crossbow and jumped.  There was a flash of green magic wind and he appeared above the cursed mask, blade aimed downward.  The second the steel met its face, there was a flash and a screeching that made his ears ring.  He could make out Midna screaming as he was thrown into the wall on the other side of the room.  The screeching stopped.  In a few moments, his ears stopped ringing as well.  As his vision returned in the dim chamber, Link could see the mask on the floor, broken in half.  His sword had been shattered and there was smoke floating out of the two halves of the mask as it began to turn black.  He took one of the blue vials and drank it completely.  His wounds weren’t going to seal on their own as long as Din’s Fury was still in his system.

Where was Midna though? He looked to where she’d been held but only saw her ruined mantle and scorched clothes in a pile.  After a moment of letting the potion do its work, he forced himself to his feet and limped over.  He landed on his knees and looked at the remains for a moment.  His eye caught something though sticking out from under the black and turquoise.  It was a tiny twitching hand.  The mantle fell apart in his hand as he pulled it away.  Lying on its side under it was a humanoid creature that was barely up to his knee.  It was covered in fur and had dark markings on its chest and left leg.  Its red eyes were massive, though barely open.  The markings on those arms were familiar. Its orange hair though…

 “Midna?”

The eyes moved at his voice. “Is it…?”  Her voice was far higher than it normally was.  She was struggling for air.

“It’s done.”  He looked at the shattered mask.  “I don’t know if we’re safe from it in the future, but yes.”  Before he could find a way to tell her what had happened, she spoke up.

“Good…  We’re safe.”  She tried to sit herself up, a shocked gasp coming from her mouth.  He noticed a long fang in her mouth now when she did.  Her eyes were wide as she looked at one of her hands.  “That…” She touched her face and looked ready to cry.  Or let out a litany of cursing.  Link couldn’t tell.

She almost looked like one of the strange statues they’d seen earlier.  Softer in shape and not quite as monstrous, though still enough to be called hideous.  “I know a curse when I see one, Midna.  We need to get you out of here.”

“I…”  She tried to stand, but couldn’t.  She could barely move her arms.  Before she could do anything else though, Link had taken his hat off and slipped her feet first into it.  “No…  What…”

“It’s probably still raining.”  He pulled it up on her before wrapping the rest around her small frame.  “And you don’t look good.”

“Damnit, I’m the princess of the most powerful sorcerer clan in the entire Twilight Realm.  I will not be swaddled like an infant…”  She scowled at him, fang sticking out.

In spite of the situation, Link couldn’t help smirking a little as he got back to his feet.  The imp was cradled in his arms.  “Well excuse me, princess, but you can’t even stand.” Link held her against his chest as he got his lantern out and lit it on one of the few remaining torches.  He hooked it to his belt and carried her out of the dried well.  As he carefully climbed out, he felt tiny hands holding tightly to his scabbard’s strap. They walked through the ruined refugee camp and carefully Link climbed on Epona.  He turned her reins and with a gentle nudge in her sides, they started back up the mountain pass.

 She was silent for the ride back to the goron village.  The rain continued, but at least did not appear to get any worse.  He could see torches lit and the people moving about in the camp outside the domes as it came into view.  He finally couldn’t take it.  He looked down at the bundle he held to try to keep dry.  “How’re you doing?”

“I don’t feel good,” she said.  “It just. I can barely move.  I feel like every ounce of magic has been ripped out of me and then twisted.”

“You’re not going to be stuck like this.  Curses can be lifted.”

“I know, but the work involved…  That was very strong magic.  Stronger than mine even.  You have any idea what you might need to break something like that?”

“I can find out.”  He looked down at her.  “And I know you’re not one to give up either.  We’ll get you back home-”

“No!”  Even though she was in bad shape, she was loud enough to make Epona start.  Link held onto her and the reins to keep from falling off.  “I can’t go back!  Not like… Like this!”  She moved so her head was against his chest.

He could see fear in her eyes.  To see them on someone so confident and forward scared him.  He took a deep breath then and instinctively squeezed her a little against him.  “Then we’ll find a way to lift it here.”

“You need to get south though.  Before the war turns.”

“I know an information broker.  I can get what I need from them and maybe a lead on the curse.”  The horse took a turn and the village vanished from view as they went around the pass.  “We have the archives at the dome as well as a starting point.”

“…And I can dig through them while you’re down there.”  She took a deep breath.  “Between us we should find a few leads.”

“Exactly.”

Midna let out a weak laugh.

“What?”

“Maybe the hat isn’t so bad…”

[hazzamylouworld-blog]

Your Big Night

Oscar Night Labor! Harry

Harry's mum always told him he could have whatever he wished for as long as he worked hard for it. Harry never actually thought that would be a reality for him. First came the band. Harry thought life couldn't get any better than gaining four life long best friends, millions of fans, and a record deal. But then came his relationship with Louis. And Harry thought he'd never want or need for anything ever again. And he didn't really. He felt secure with his life. Then Dunkirk sort of fell in his lap. Harry's always been a performer by nature, always wanting to be in the spotlight and make people happy. Louis proposed to Harry after he stumbled inside their home, exhausted and sweaty from his first day of filming. Juggling a huge movie role and planning a wedding was a bit hard but Harry never regretted any of it. And then there was the night that Louis whispered in his ear that they should start trying for a baby. Harry laughed it off because no way could they have a baby right now. But apparently the joke was on him because a mere six weeks later, he was vomiting all over the red carpet of the Dunkirk premiere. Because he's pregnant. WITH TWINS. Because clearly Louis Tomlinson cannot half ass anything. He's nine months along now and pretty much completely over being pregnant. His belly is no longer the cute little bump that pushes out from his shirts a bit, it's absolutely massive and sticks out of the bottom of any top he wears. He's pretty sure his back is permanently curved and that "glow" everyone keeps telling him he has is just sweat from walking the few steps it takes to get to the next spot to sit down. And about a month ago, he got a call saying Dunkirk was up for an Oscar. He was thrilled then, thinking for sure that he'd have the babies by then and he'd be back in tip top shape albeit a bit tired from the first few late nights. Except..he hasn't had the babies. Apparently, Harry's some sort of medical marvel because his little baby girl and baby boy have stayed rolling about in his belly for nearly three weeks longer than the average twins. He's thirty nine weeks pregnant and he's over it if it wasn't mentioned before. OVER. IT. The Oscars are tomorrow and Harry's excited, really he is, but he's also completely miserable. He's been lying in bed all day because the thought of getting up seems so cruel for someone with such a heavy belly full of babies. He's got a pillow pushed beneath his tummy, taking the weight off his back a bit, but he's still got tear tracks from the pain anyway. Everything hurts now, not just his back. His head hurts from the hormones surging through his body and his tummy REALLY hurts from the amount of stretching it's done. Matilda and Morgan don't seem to want to settle down ever so it's constantly changing shape and at least one baby is always curled into his rib, making his chest feel tight and uncomfortable. His asthma is worse than its ever been and the indigestion he feels after every meal is no joke. And he just feels HEAVY. Louis' tried his best to help the boy feel marginally OKAY but it's not working. He's tried to convince the boy to just SKIP the Oscars and make a "Thank You" video at home from his bed but Harry refuses. Because he might be feeling shit but he refuses to let anyone down. Louis knocks lightly on the bedroom door and peaks his head in. Harry groans, pressing his face harder into the pillow his head is upon but doesn't say anything directly to his fiancé. "Hi love." Louis hums anyway, sitting down on the bed. He presses a warm hand to Harry's shoulder and peaks over it to catch a glimpse of his face. "How are you feeling?" He asks, not waiting for Harry's response. He's not sure if he'll get one anyway. Harry's been so grumpy as of late and he never knows what sort of mood he'll walk into. "Hurting." Harry mumbles through the materiel of his pillow. Louis frowns because that means this won't be as easy as he thought. "I brought you some Tylenol." "They don't help, Lou." "I know love. But it should take the edge off..you've got to get to your fitting, remember?" Harry lets out a long sigh and rolls over toward Louis. Louis tuts sadly when he sees the tear tracks on his precious love's face. "Babe..why have you been crying?" Harry's face curls up and he shakes his head. "It just hurts, Louis. Every part of me aches horribly. I just want to have these babies already." He sniffles and Louis brushes a tiny curl behind his ear. "Don't cry baby. They'll be here soon, you heard the doctor. If you don't go into labor this weekend, they'll take them Wednesday." Harry turns on his back and sits up slowly, whimpering when his back protests. He massages the pads of his fingers to his spine and tries to take a deep breath. "Can I have m'inhaler?" He asks, placing a hand to his side, pushing one of the babies further down his body and out of his rib. "Are you ok?" Louis asks. "I just got too upset...wasn't taking good breaths.." Louis nods and rubs Harry's back as he takes two puffs from his inhaler. He looks a bit better once he does and Louis' heart rate slows. "I got your clothes out already so all you have to do is sit tight and let me dress you." Harry rolls his eyes. "I can still dress m'self, Lou." Louis smirks. "Really? Try to take off those nice fuzzy socks for me and put on some shoes." Harry huffs defiantly and stands up, wobbling a bit. He bends over and whines when his hand doesn't go past his belly. He places a hand to his hip and tries to bend further but the babies within him move rapidly, clearly unhappy about being squished. "Ow ow ow...you win. You win. They're really mad at me for that one." Harry whines, rubbing his side. Louis smirks and guides Harry back to the side of the bed and pulls his pants off, switching them with his skinny jeans with the stretchy band waist made specifically for his growing belly. Louis slips his shirt off and hums happily, bending down and placing two kisses on Harry's rounded tummy. "Mm stoppp. Tickles and m'cold." Harry mumbles, shivering as the cold air hits his sensitive tummy. Louis giggles and pulls a t shirt tightly over him and stands back. "TA DAAAA. All done." Harry cringes at the loudness of his voice and Louis frowns, spitting out a quick apology. "No I'm sorry, Lou..I've been in such a shit mood recently." Harry says, looking down. Louis massages his shoulder and shakes his head. "Don't you dare apologize, Styles. I did this to you, remember?" "Oh yeah..remind me to get you back for that." - "Harry, its fine, ok? You looked amazing." Harry sniffles and turns away from Louis, burying    his face into his hand. The fitting did not go well. Their stylist, Lou picked out a t shirt for Harry to wear under his suit and Harry just about threw a fit over it because 'it wasn't dressy enough' and when Lou explained that he couldn't possibly wear a button down because a button might pop and he could 'take someone's eye out' Harry lost it. There were tears. Lots of them. The only way Louis could get him to smile even slightly was to promise him dinner. "No I didn't, Lou. I looked awful. I'm going to the laughing stock of the show." "No you won't, Harry! People love your belly. They think you look precious just like I do." "Don't want to be precious.." "Did I say precious? I meant absolutely deliciously sexy but you're mine so only I can say that." A small smile graces over Harry's face and Louis beams. "Just take me to dinner, wanker." Louis pulls up to the Italian restaurant Harry requested back at the fitting and helps the poor boy out of the car. - Harry's been pregnant for nine whole months but Louis STILL isn't used to how much food the lad can put away now. Six bread halves, a whole bowl of pasta (the kind that could feed an entire family of four), and half of Louis' pizza. Louis sits back in his chair, a look of both amazement and amusement on his face. Harry puts his fork down and leans back in his seat, eyebrows furrowing in discomfort. He places a hand down on his belly and huffs out a long exhale. "Everything alright love?" Louis asks, placing his smaller hand on Harry's free one lying on the table. Harry pulls his hand out from beneath Louis' to press against the other side of his belly. "Wooooo.." He breathes, opening one eye slightly, "Ugh my stomach huuurts. Can we go home?" Louis frowns and nods, throwing a wad of cash onto the table. He helps Harry up, who groans immediately upon standing. He places a hand beneath his heavy belly and sighs. "Ughhhh..." He groans, "Wooooo...." "A bit full, love?" Harry exhales sharply and nods. "Stuffed. My stomach is killing me.." "Lets get you home." Louis helps Harry into the passenger side of the car and rushes around to the driver side. Harry curls up on his side as his tummy grumbles and rumbles angrily. "Ughhh hurry Lou. I don't feel well.." "Okay love." Louis books it home, thankful that no cops caught a glimpse of him and helps his overfull fiancé out of the car. "Want to watch a movie and sip on some Sprite to settle your tummy?" Harry shakes his head. "I just want to go to bed.." He grumbles, rubbing his belly in large wide circles. Louis nods and helps the boy up the stairs and into their bedroom. "Ohhh fuck. My stomaaach..." Harry moans, curling his arms over his belly and bending slightly. "Come on love. Lets get you out of these stuffy clothes." Louis helps Harry completely out of all his clothes aside from his boxers. He goes to grab a pair of pajamas but Harry shakes his head. "I don't want anything touching my stomach right now.." Louis nods and helps Harry lie down on his side. He cuddles behind the boy, placing his hands low on Harry's belly. Harry lets out a few more uncomfortable exhales before his breathing evens out and he falls asleep. He wakes up while it's still dark out with an intense pain radiating through his middle. It quickly ends as he sits up but it's replaced with lip quaking nausea. He groans, placing the back of his hand to his mouth. "Woooo...." He breathes, closing his eyes and rubbing a hand down his clammy belly. The queasiness in his tummy intensifies and he quickly stumbles out of bed and into the restroom. As soon as he sees the clear water of the toilet, he gags and his dinner from a few hours ago hits the water. It doesn't last long and he's thankful, wiping the back of his mouth and sits back on his bum queasily. "Wooooo.." He breathes again, rubbing a hand in circles over his belly. He feels a strong cramping sensation deep within his belly and leans his head back a bit, massaging his fingers into his lower belly with a slight groan. His tummy feels firm beneath his fingers but he's not surprised with how large of a dinner he ate. He's thinking he might be experiencing some gas pains but they've never actually been this horrible before. Once the pain ends, his breathing returns to normal and he begins to stand again, rubbing his eyes sleepily. He waddles back to bed, rolling his eyes at Louis who slept through his little misfortune. He places the pillow back beneath his belly and draws shapes into the side of it until his eyes grow too heavy to keep blinking. When he wakes up again, its to a strong urge to wee. The urge is so strong, he's a bit afraid he might not actually make it to the loo in time. He rips the covers off and waddles as quickly as he can back to the toilet and sits down heavily to relieve himself. He's not sure what time it is now but he knows it's early and he's getting a bit tired of his new favorite visiting spot. He sits back tiredly and exhales until he feels the strong cramping in his belly again. He inhales sharply and presses a hand to his thigh, letting the other rub the bottom of his bloated belly. He feels a bit of pressure and a gooey substance drops from within him, making him scrunch his nose. Once the cramping dies down, he turns to look at what fell from him. It's a clear sticky substance with a small bit of blood mixed in. His mucus plug. He knows the whole thing is very natural but with how unsettled his stomach has been all night, it immediately makes him nauseated again. He's quick to pull his boxers back up and go straight back to his knees, vomiting up more of his Italian dinner. Louis walks in just as he's spitting miserably into the water, arms curled around the toilet and head hanging above the water. "Babe? Are you alright?" Harry sniffles and wipes his mouth with the back of his hand. "I've been in here all night. Think dinner didn't settle in my stomach well.." Louis frowns. "Should we call the doctor?" Harry shakes his head. "She said the nausea would come back in the third trimester." Louis nods. "I think you should sit tonight out, Harry. I really don't think it's a good idea, especially now that you've thrown up." Harry shakes his head defiantly. "I'm FINE, Louis. You aren't going to convince me otherwise. Unless these babies are hanging between my legs on their way out, I'm GOING to the Oscars. You can come or you can stay here but I'm bloody tired of arguing about it." Harry snaps, pushing past him and burying his head back into his pillow once he's back in bed. Louis sighs. "Fine." "Turn the fan on, its hot." Harry grumbles. Louis turns the fan on and scoots back beneath the covers, turning on his side to cuddle back up to his husband. "Don't touch me." Harry is a bit peeved at Louis but he really only doesn't want him to touch him because of how his stomach is feeling. It feels so firm now and heavy on his hips. It's a bit like he's carrying a solid medal weight around his middle. Louis goes back to sleep and Harry tries to follow suit but he's soon woken up again by the same cramping sensation in his belly, only a bit stronger this time. He hisses and pulls his legs closer to him, pressing a hand to the bottom of his belly. When the cramp continues, he kicks his legs miserably about until it fades off. When the two lads' alarm goes off, Harry feels like ripping someone's head off. He barely got any sleep last night and the discomfort has only increased as the hours ticked on. Louis stretches himself out on the bed, purring like a cat when his back pops. Harry huffs and gives him a deadly look, sitting half up in the bed with his arms crossed over his rounded out middle. Louis smiles and scoots across the bed, placing his arms around Harry's belly in a hugging position. Harry huffs again. "How are you feeling love?" "Twins are up." He mutters grumpily, belly rippling from the kicks and rolls of the tenants inside. "I see." Louis coo's, placing a hand on Harry's belly button and kissing his bloated side. Harry lies his head back with a slight eye roll. "What's wrong H?" Louis asks, noting the boy's annoyed mannerisms. Harry bites the inside of his cheek and shakes his head. "Nothing. Just woke up grumpy." Louis hums. "How about some breakfast?" Harry shrugs. If he tells Louis about his discomfort, Louis will argue with him again about going tonight. "Sure." "How about BREAKFAST in BED?" Louis hums, beginning to perk up the longer he's awake. Harry has NOT perked up yet but he can tell Louis is trying to get him to. "Okay. But..something light, ok? I don't know how my stomach's going to fare today.." Louis frowns and places another kiss to Harry's bump and trots down the stairs. Harry huffs and presses his head to his headboard when he feels his middle seize up tightly again. He presses it forward and rubs a hand over it in large circles. "Ugh....mmmgh....mmmmgh...." He groans lightly before taking a few unsteady breaths, "Ugh....ugh......" Louis soon walks back up the stairs with a plate full of food for his curly headed love. He sees Harry lying his head against the headboard sleepily. "Oh my poor love. How about we watch a movie and take a nice nap after we eat?" Harry nods because yeah, that sounds heavenly right now and it's the first thing Louis has said this morning that hasn't made him want to bite his head off. Harry picks at his food, not really feeling up to shoving food into his already tightening and heavy belly. He ends up giving Louis the rest of his, telling him he's too tired to think of eating. Louis accepts his answer without putting up a fight and Harry's so glad because as he was eating he felt another annoying cramp and he's just really in no mood to talk right now. He just wants to lie down. "Turn on the fan." Harry mumbles, slipping down into the bed, lying on his arm on his side. "Hey you..we're meant to watch a movie before you fall asleep." Harry shrugs. "I'll stay awake..m'just getting comfy." Louis hums and cuts the fan on as per Harry's request. "Will you rub my back?" Harry mumbles once Louis turns the movie on. "You're definitely going to fall asleep now." Harry shakes his head. Louis rolls his eyes playfully but does as his fiancé asks and begins massaging his tightened back muscles. "Your muscles are all wound up, babe. Are you alright?" Harry takes in a shaky breath and nods, although he really does not feel 'alright'. His stomach is cramping heavily and he massages it discreetly beneath the covers. He can't allow Louis to see though because if he does, he won't be able to go to the Oscars for sure. Harry's positive it's just Braxton hicks so there's no reason to panic about labor..even if he did lose his mucus plug a few hours ago. The babies wiggle inside him, clearly unhappy with the tightening of their home and then the pain ends. And he must've fallen asleep after that because the next time his eyes open, the TV is off and Louis is snoring lightly from somewhere beside him. The cramping is back in his belly and he hisses lightly, pushing himself up with one hand as the other rubs the bottom and side of his belly. "Ugh.....ugh....owww..." He whimpers in a whisper, face in a tight grimace against the pain. "Mmmmgh..." He groans out one last time before the pain ends. He blows out a puff of air and stands up, waddling to his closet to grab a jumper and turn off the fan. He's suddenly freezing and the thought of keeping the fan on any longer seems a bit evil. The jumper falls below his fingertips but fits snugly around his middle. He doesn't really care HOW it looks because he's not going anywhere yet anyway. When he looks at the clock he feels like crying because he most definitely does NOT have time to go back to sleep before he has to start getting ready for the Oscars. He doesn't feel at all like moving yet though, the small walk over to the light switch leaving him winded once he's back in bed. He pulls out his book he's been reading for months now and flips open to the page he was reading last. He finds it hard to pay attention though with the constant cramping in his belly coming every fifteen minutes or so. He grunts and massages it with his fingertips as he tries to remain quiet with Louis sleeping beside him. A particularly strong cramp hits and he leans his head back, dropping the book and placing both hands to the bottom of his belly to massage the pain away. It eventually fades, just in time too, as Louis begins to stir from beside him. The boy turns toward him and smiles sleepily. "Did you get some good rest?" Harry shrugs. "I guess so." Louis beams. "Good. Ready for your big night?" He asks, lighting pawing at the side of Harry's bump. "Sure am." "Did you get cold?" Harry nods. "M'going to shower." Harry mumbles, slipping off the bed and into the shower. It was an abrupt way to leave but he could feel his stomach beginning to cramp again and he couldn't risk going through the pain in front of Louis. He turns the water on, puffing out breaths of air and rubbing his belly as it cramps and contorts in his hand. "Mmmmmghh..." He groans, gripping onto the counter and bending over slightly, rubbing a hand up and down his belly, "Ohhwooo..wooo...wooooo..." He breathes, face in a tight grimace. The pain ends just as Louis walks in the door with a smile. "Mind if I join you?" "Um..ok." Harry says, unsurely. Louis shoots him a confused look but undresses anyway. He steps into the steaming shower before Harry and begins humming to himself. Harry quickly strips himself and stares down at his bare belly. "Please stop cramping up...." He mumbles silently to it as he holds it between his hands. "Haz? You coming in love?" "Mhmm.." Harry steps into the mist and sighs in relief when the warm water hits him. "Woo..." He breathes, rubbing his belly in soft circles. "You feeling better love?" Louis asks, rubbing his thumb softly over his forearm. Harry shrugs. "Still a bit nauseated but I'll be alright." It's the truth..or as much of it as he can tell. His stomach does still feel a bit queasy between cramps. He actually sort of feels like he could throw up right now. He lies up against the wall and rubs down his sides as Louis turns with his back to him, shampooing his brown tuffs of hair. His face scrunches into a grimace when he feels another cramp ripple over his belly. He gasps lightly and places his arm over his belly, gripping the other arm as the pain rolls through him. He exhales sharply and Louis turns around to him in confusion. "Harry, are you alright?!" "Y-yeah..just...f-feeling a bit...a bit nauseous." He lies, biting his lip. Louis frowns. "Do you need to get out?" Harry shakes his head. "T's h-helping a bit..." The cramp wears off and Harry relaxes again. He's able to completely shower and get out without anymore issues. He and Louis brush their teeth together and he gets a gripping cramp just as he finishes up his bottom teeth. He inhales sharply and closes his eyes, rocking slightly onto the counter. Louis is too busy dancing around crazily to Harry's solo album, trying to get a laugh out of the grumpy boy so he doesn't notice. "Wooooo...." Harry breathes, rubbing down his side. The pain passes and he bites his lip hard to keep from crying. Because they're bad. Really bad now. Louis places his toothbrush back in the holder and pulls Harry's back to his chest, rubbing his belly and placing a kiss to his shoulder. "I'm proud of you, you know. Doing all of this..being so successful." Harry smiles his first genuine smile all day. "Thanks. I love you." "I love you too. Let's do this, yeah?" Harry nods. The pair walks back into the bedroom to dress themselves in their tuxes for the big night ahead. Louis helps pull Harry's pants on before the boy stands up. He pushes Louis away when he tries to help him put his shirt on, wanting some sort of independence. And honestly-he's a bit afraid for Louis to feel his stomach right now. It's become rock hard and Harry's pretty sure that's a sign of something coming that he can't exactly control. He just really hopes it's AFTER his big night. He exhales sharply and presses his hands to the his bed when he feels his stomach muscles clench up again. "Hmmm....hmmmm..." He breathes harshly through his nose, scrunching his face up. He feels Louis rush to his side and place a hand to his back. "What's wrong love?" Harry inhales sharply and stands up straight, placing his hands to his hips and pushes his belly forward. "Woooooo...." He rubs a hand down his middle, "Was just a Braxton hicks." Louis nods, concern not yet leaving his features. "I'll call the driver and make sure the limo is stocked with waters." Harry nods. "Thanks." He pulls his shirt on and puts his jacket over it with a slight frown. He feels terrible, muscles all pulled tightly. And he's HOT, so very hot in this stuffy suit. He just feels so unlike himself and when the babies begin moving about rapidly, he feels even worse, as every little jab and tap is felt in his aching tummy. Louis helps Harry downstairs and beams as he pulls him into the kitchen. There sat on two plates is Harry's favorite Parma ham dish. Harry feels like crying because he can't POSSIBLY bring himself to eat that but Louis is so bloody SWEET. He has to. He can't just refuse all his husband's hard work. "When did you-" "You fell asleep before me, remember?" Harry smiles softly and waddles to the table, hand clasped to the bottom of his throbbing bump. He sits down heavily and cringes when he has to spread his legs further to make room for his belly. It's getting lower, he thinks, which is not a very good sign. Louis watches as he takes every bite, holding back gags and whines of pain when his stomach cramps up. Lucky for him, the limo arrives before he has to eat all of his food. Louis pouts but he helps him up and walks with him to the driveway. Harry keeps his hands bawled into fists as his belly changes shape, seizing up with increasingly painful contractions. It's definitely worse when he walks. Which isn't good because..red carpet and that. He presses his forehead onto his hand when he sits down in the car and sighs deeply. "Tired love?" Louis hums, blissfully unaware of his husband's ongoing pain. "Always." Harry mumbles, rubbing his belly in soft circles. The driver takes off and Harry takes a deep breath. Every time he feels a cramp, he lifts his belly slightly and lightly mimics rain on the tight drum-like skin. He has four on the way to the Oscars and he can already pretty much tell what's going on. He JUST has to make it through his award and then he can admit everything to Louis and get to the hospital. Someone opens the door to the limo when it stops and Louis begins scooting out. Harry exhales painfully and presses his belly forward with his hand lightly on his hip. "Coming love?" "Yeah..sorry..sorry." He mumbles and slides out behind Louis. Louis grabs his hand and Harry smiles lightly, pressing the other below his belly. The flashes of cameras start before he can even take a breath. The red carpet is long and very, very hot. Harry grits his teeth and has to let go of Louis' hand to place it under his belly as the other rubs large circles into the skin. He can feel a deep pressure forming and his opening spasms, causing him to chew on his lip nervously. "C-can we sit, Lou?" He manages to spit out as his stomach clenches with a tight pain. Louis grabs his hand and nods. "Of course. Are you alright? You're sweating like MAD." "T's just really hot." Louis nods and guides Harry through the throngs of people. He finally gets him to where the Oscars are held and Harry collapses heavily into one of the chairs. "I've got to use the loo, I'll go get you a bit of water as well." Louis says, concerned eyes scanning Harry up and down. At this point, Harry sort of wishes he would find out what's going on. Harry's obviously not going to vocally tell him but if he figured it out on his own, Harry just might give in. It hurts THAT bad. His stomach feels like a heavy stone and he pulls his jacket away from it in discomfort. He feels it clench up again and buries his head into one of his hands as the other pushes beneath his shirt to rub at the bare skin. "Ughhhh....ughhhhhhhhhhh...mmmmmmgh..." He grunts, feeling the babies within push and prod uncomfortably. "Ohhhhhghhhhh...." He leans back in his seat and rubs his sides in gentle circles until the pain ends. Louis returns with a bottle of water but Harry feels much too nauseous to drink any of it. The Oscars start and Harry bites the inside of his cheek against the much more intense pain in his belly. He grips the bottom of his seat and grits his teeth, rubbing the palm of his hand over his belly ceaselessly. Sweat beads at his forehead and he grunts in discomfort, moving about as much as he can without being obvious. The first award is given out and the room erupts in cheers, giving Harry the chance to moan out quickly against his pain. He grips onto the arm rest of his chair and clutches his tight belly in his hands with a low grunt. "Ughhhh....MMMMMMGHHHHH....woooo..." The show continues and the pressure in Harry's belly continues to build. He can physically see his belly changing shape with each contraction and he can barely breathe through the pains now. An intense bit of pressure loops through him and he gasps, placing a hand to his belly and stands up. "What are you-" Louis whispers. "Bathroom." Harry mumbles and rushes off. He lies against a wall as soon as he steps out of the theater and bends slightly over with a low groan. He presses a hand to the bottom of his belly and waddles extremely uncomfortably towards the loo. Upon stepping into a stall, he lets it all go, groaning as loudly as he can as he grips onto the walls of the stall, bending over himself. He rips his pants down, panting as he rubs the bottom of his belly. He sits when the pain becomes too great and grips the loo, groaning. "UGHHHHHHH FUUUUUUUUUUCK." He screams, shakily, pressing his chin to his chest. He feels a pop and his eyes widen as the babies begin to move about. He feels an intense pain roll over his belly and leans back, pressing one hand to his thigh and the other to his belly. Ok. Ok. Ok. His water just broke. His water JUST BROKE. He whimpers and pulls up his pants, wincing at the wetness left and goes to the sink, splashing water onto his face after quickly washing his hands. He groans, waddling painfully back to the theater with a hand locked to his belly. He feels like crying in relief when he sees Louis' tall quiff. "L-Lou?" "Harry! I was getting worried, you-" "We need to go." "Oh love. Were you sick again? Why don't you just lie against me until-" "My water broke." "What?" "My water broke." "W-when?" "In the bathroom." Harry whines as another contraction grips him, "Please Lou. I've been having contractions since last night, I need the hospital." Louis' eyes grow big but he nods and pushes past everyone in his row. He pulls Harry by the hand towards the exit and rushes to their limo. "Ohhhhhhhhhhhhh..." Harry moans, kneeling in front of the open door of the limo. "No babe. No, come on. Not here, ok? Not here. We need the hospital." He helps Harry up and the boy lies flush to the seat, legs spread wide as both hands press to his belly. "Owwwwwww...mmmmmmmmgh..." "TO THE HOSPITAL. STEP ON IT." Louis shouts. Louis places his hand to Harry's tight belly and rubs gentle circles into the skin. Harry grips Louis' thigh and grits his teeth, pressing his head into the seat as his belly tenses up. "Oh love..." Louis tuts, brushing his hair out of his eyes. The driver gets to the hospital just as Harry is about to lose his mind from the pain. Louis helps him out but it's a long walk toward the hospital. Louis finally gets him inside only for the boy to nearly collapse on the nurses' desk groaning. Louis doesn't even have to say what's wrong, a wheelchair already being pushed Harry's way. Harry lies back into it, rubbing his belly with short pants of breath. He's wheeled to a room and told to put on a gown before he could be checked. "Ughhhhhhhh..." He moans, bending over the hospital bed and rotating his hips. Louis hums from behind him, rubbing his sides and cooing into his ear. The doctor knocks and walks inside with a sympathetic smile. Harry whines uncomfortably as he's checked and as soon as she pulls out of him he falls onto his side, whimpering in pain as his hand rubs large circles into his exposed belly. "Six and a half. You're very close darling. Just hang tight, ok?" Harry stuffs a pillow to his chest and curls around it miserably. Louis sits on the bed beside Harry and rubs at his rock hard belly. "Wish you would've told me you were hurting love. We could've skipped the Oscar's..." "Ughhhhhhhhhhh..." Harry moans, pulling his legs closer to his body and furrowing his brow. "Right. Sorry. Probably not the best time for that." "Ohhhhhhh...." Harry moans, pressing down on his belly and kicking his legs about. Louis rubs at his belly helplessly. He realizes, unhelpfully, that the TV is on in the room and beams when he realizes what's on. "Harry..the Oscars are on the TV love. You can still watch and see if you won.." Harry smiles slightly before his face crumbles again. "Oh love. What can I do?" Harry switches positions in the bed, pressing his head into his arms and sticking his bum in the air. Louis gets behind him and massages his lower back deeply as it tightens along with his belly. "Mmmmmmgh....ohhhhhhhgh...hhhohhhh...." He changes position again, lying against Louis now so he can view the TV when his contractions pass. Soon he's sitting on the bottom of the bed, feet pressed to the floor with his legs widely apart as he watches the Oscars intently. Louis can tell he's beginning to struggle as every few minutes he puffs out a bit of air and grimaces, rubbing a hand over his exposed belly. He's grown far more quiet though and Louis' glad he suggested such a good distraction. It doesn't last too long though as he goes deeper into the throws of labor. He's sweating profusely now, lying on his side again as he whimpers in pain, rubbing his belly from side to side. The Oscars still play in the background but it's gone unwatched for a while now. Harry grunts suddenly and scrunches his face. "TURN IT OFF. TURN THE BLOODY TV OFF. I CAN'T STAND NOISE RIGHT NOW." He shouts, pressing a hand to the bottom of his belly and turning over onto his back. He stuffs his face into his pillow to drowned the sound out and Louis is quick to shut the TV off. It's nearly thirty minutes later when Harry's crying openly on his side as his hand rubs ceaselessly over his twinging belly that Louis gets a text. He pulls it from his back pocket, fully ready to answer any of Harry's mum's questions. He beams at what she actually says though and places a hand on Harry's shoulder. "Harry?" He calls. "W-what?" Harry whimpers. "You won." "I...I....won?" Louis nods and Harry sits up abruptly, pulling Louis into a huge hug. Louis can feel the miserable boy's belly clenching up against his own stomach and frowns when the boy tightens his grip and groans out against the pain. "Hey..hey. it's all going to be alright, yeah?" He chants, pulling away from the tight hug and rubbing Harry's sides with his flat hands. It's not long before Harry's groans turn to grunts of pushing and Louis can tell a major difference in the way his fiancé is acting. He calls the doctor in quickly who smiles widely and nods. "He's ready." She hums. Twenty minutes later, Louis' arms and heart are full. He holds his sleeping twins in his arms, humming lightly and just admiring their beautiful faces. He looks up at his snoozing husband who is an exact replica of their children and beams. There's a knock on the door and Louis curses, setting the twins' down in their cots and rushes over to the door so the intruder won't wake Harry. He opens the door and his mouth hangs open. Because standing before him is Christopher Nolan. "Um...Mr. Nolan, hi. How are you?" "I'm doing well, thank you Louis. Is...Harry still..." Louis smiles. "He's already given birth. Seven pounds each." Christopher smiles and nods. "That's wonderful. Sorry I'm visiting so late." "That's alright. He's sleeping but you're welcome to come in." "That's alright, Louis. I'll let you guys rest. I just wanted to come by and give Harry his Oscar from tonight. We won TWO. He won Best Actor." Louis' mouth drops again because Harry didn't even tell him HE was actually nominated for something. "Thank you. Thank you so much, sir. He'll be thrilled." Christopher smiles and nods. "Congratulations Louis." Louis sits the Oscar down eye level with Harry with a small smirk. His baby is a star.

[everylittlechef]

Tired & Inspired - Day One

We pulled up in the tired red rascal to our holiday destination just before midnight on Monday evening in Flushing near Falmouth. My dad was stood outside with a glass of ale half empty dancing at the doorstep just incase we couldn’t identify the location of the house. I’ve been to this holiday house once before when I was about six years old in 1992. Back then we stopped at the (not there now) Little Chef in Gordano. This time though we visited TWENTY TWO Little Chefs en route and covered approx 800 miles. Since arriving on Monday night we have been tired. Very tired. We spent our first day off walking by the Cornish coastal line, sipping beer and sleeping. After a long time sitting in the van extremely sober, listening to long wave radio and too much cricket, digesting all day Olympic breakfasts and slurping take away Little Chef Cappuccinos as we travelled between branches, it now feels really good to be outside digesting beer & salty sea air far away from the A roads. But as relaxing as this is, the Little Chef trail is compelling for reasons we still aren’t sure about. Our musing and amusing mission is taking up lots of conversation with our family in Cornwall as we reflect on previous family holidays driving from North Derbyshire down South, always stopping at a Little Chef en route. My fave thing was the ‘Build Your Own Breakfast’ on the kids menu and the red and white American style diner was a strangely safe place for a fussy vegetarian family of four. I could tailor pick a plate of beige just the way I liked it (and because the journey along A roads towards the motorway in a crammed Citroen car overfilled with travel sweets, arguments, a selection of road maps, a dog, and a bike rack brimming with trikes and body boards as the sounds of my annoying times table cassette tape wafted through the stereo, this meant the holiday had officially started) and also meant the deep fried bread and corrugated lollies before 10am were overlooked and approved. The holiday has begun!

This is the story of how our journey on Sunday 30th & Monday 31st July 2017 has gone so far…

Day One: Sunday 30th July

Owen did most of the driving. I was navigator. When we pulled up to each Little Chef branch we’d both jump out like eager press puppies. Whilst Owen was photographing, I’d take notes on each branch, usually pop inside to purchase something and then get Google Maps on my phone set up to guide us to the next stop. Before we moved on it was my job to update our black board (which was stuck to the back window) with how many Little Chefs we had visited so far.

First Stop : A1 North Newcastle Branch

This was were we ate breakfast and met Debbie. We had quite a lengthy chat with her in-between serving other customers. I’ve paraphrased some of the things she said to us  whilst taking our order & serving Owen’s lucky egg, then making sure we left her branch with plates of information, Little Chef lollies, bright red draw string book bags and fruit of the loom 9-11 year old ‘Little Chef’ branded T’s…

“People don’t wanna pay £15 per head for a meal during a car journey”.

“Most of the sites will be bulldozed down, it’s cheaper to start again”.

“We do better as a sister site. All of the ones joined to Burger King do better”.

When she told us we had better be quick because thirty stand alone stores closed that night she proceeded to speculate. We’ve learnt on this journey that there is no active Little Chef Head office. Owen & I have tried to contact them several times over the last eighteen months, not for financial support but to get up to date information on the last remaining stores and for more facts to fuel our growing fire of intrigue. We’ve left voicemails and emails to sit on answering machines and inside mailboxes ignored and un replied to. Debbie told us that she worked at this branch of Little Chef 15 years ago and again more recently. The branch has changed a lot in the fifteen year gap. She isn’t surprised the Little Chefs are declining and thinks road travel has changed a lot over the years. She expects her branch to become a Greggs or Starbucks and was surprisingly kind of fine with it. She’s heard that there is a sign on the Motorway near London saying ‘Little Chef Opening in 2018’ which is causing a lot of speculation between branches who haven’t been passed on any info apart from that the Little Chef company will close before the year is out and their jobs will change to the new venture whatever it may be. As we sped off hoping catch come of the closing Little Chefs our minds were spinning with questions from our discussion with Debbie; Will Little Chef re-open? Will they re-launch? Is there a princess who lives abroad planning great things with the Little Chef brand? What about Euro Garages? Where will the old time regulars go for their Olympic Breakfasts?

Second Stop : A69 towards Carlisle

This was where I purchased a take away Cappuccino and the staff were bemused. There was one customer inside enjoying a fry up.

Third Stop: A66 Penrith

From the larks of the night before I was thirsty, dehydrated from my coffee and was now craving some fizzy pop so I ran inside the Little Chef (adjoined with a Burger King) and grabbed a Sprite from the Little Chef counter to take away. The lady behind the desk had lovely turquoise hair, was called Cat and was super smiley, friendly and interested to know what we were doing. She asked the same question lots of people have: ‘Why Little Chef?’ and our answer is developing each time from ‘it’s just a photography project’ and ‘why not’ or ‘we’re not really sure ourselves’ to ‘well it’s just a piece of British history isn’t it and someone should document it before it goes’. Cat called through to her manager Keith to tell him what we were doing and the pair were more than happy to pose outside the their branch for a picture. Keith was proud and eager to tell us ‘We’re just as busy as Burger King!’ and I believe him. The staff were lovely, the restaurant was clean and welcoming and you could see the team got along well bringing their own vibe to the place. We were sad to cut the convo short but sped off to our next stop.

Between the drives our ears were popping as Owen noted we were 1000 feet up. It felt like we were flying through mountains.

Fourth Stop: A59 Skipton

Keith told us this branch closed at 2pm but perhaps that was on a week day, for when we arrived it was still open, but pouring with rain. Owen had to take the photo by standing under the canopy of the open van boot and try to avoid the relentless downpour of rain ruining his kit. I was desperate for the loo and ran in to use it. They were grotty and ran down but I still felt obliged to buy something so I ordered us both a tea. We were sad they came in Burger King cups instead of Little Chef ones.

During the drive between Skipton and York the rain continued, cleared, continued, cleared…. as we drove through the winding Yorkshire Moors.

Fifth Stop: A64 York

We started to feel sad we only had five ticked off and enthusiasm was fading. The branch was fresh looking which Owen didn’t like, although I thought it was quite smart, but either way it was still joined to another Burger King. We pulled outside, took a quick snap and our eagerness for going inside to purchase something or anything and chatting with the staff and their speculations was fading, as we began to feel daunted by the task ahead. A lady exercising her dog along the side of the A64 didn’t take her eyes off us as she circled the grass surrounding us. It made us feel weird and as soon as Owen got the picture of the York branch we sped off. Pressured more by the fact we had so many Little Chefs to visit than the staring lady and her tiny hound.

As we drove away our mood lifted as the rain cleared and we constantly seemed to be driving towards two mythical pots of gold at the bottom of a vibrant and clear double rainbow. Something to remind us we were lucky eggs!

Sixth Stop: A1 North Doncaster

This Little Chef looked large but it was probably just the modern style building with glass windows making it feel larger than it was. It had the same new contemporary feel to it as the previous one and it looked busy inside. We quickly took a snap and got back on the trail. It was getting dark.

Seventh Stop: A1 South Worksop

We had to come off the A1 and reverse direction to get into the Little Chef. This is something we had to do quite a lot on the A roads and it was becoming irritating knowing we had to spend minutes driving in the wrong direction to get off and return in the right direction, then quite often turning round after we’d taken the shot to go back on ourselves once more to get to the next destination. As it got later and darker it was getting more and more annoying. Luckily en route to this one we passed the famous(ish) architectural listed roof building that used to be a Little Chef/Travelodge and Owen insisted we pull into a pub car park so he could jump across the fences and through two fields in the pitch black to get a shot of the derelict building which has yet to be turned into a Starbucks of Greggs. I stayed in the van and locked the doors. It was getting late and a little bit of me expected to hear a farmers gunshot. I didn’t of course and Owen returned over the fences with some snaps and was buzzing. Then we went on to the South Worksop branch, which was joined to a Travel Lodge, got a quick photo (it was closed for the evening) and drove onwards…

Eighth Stop: A46 South Lincoln

It was really dark now and starting to rain again. We parked over the top of a puddle. Owen seemed to take ages faffing for the right shot. We could see people sat inside the Little Chef but on closer inspection they were eating Burger King from the adjoining chain and the lights above the Little Chef counter were firmly off. We were both flagging, looking forward to a beer before bed and hoping we could find a roadside hotel with a bar.

Ninth Stop: A17 Sleaford

Another closed for the night Little Chef shot in the dark with our tired sleepy crumpet faces loosing enthusiasm. To add the icing onto our stale cake faces we just discovered there are two more restaurants we hadn’t plotted on our original route and add the two branches onto our map below Grantham. The light is perfect for taking photos. It’s nearly 10.30pm. We need to find a hotel sooner than anticipated.

Tenth Stop: A1 South Grantham

This branch looked great from the outside. Even more great because it was paired with a Travelodge. We took a super quick snap of the Little Chef, then headed into the lodge to book a £45 bed for the night, without breakfast. There was no hotel bar but a Spar Shop in the Shell Garage we hoped would stock beer. Unfortunately it was a dry store ran by a chap called Trevor who wanted to tell us more about his hours of work that week in the Esso/Spar Garage/Shop than our tired ears had the patience to listen to. We made our excuses to leave quickly. Our dinner that night wasn’t at Little Chef but a packet of pretzel pieces, a grab sized bag of pickled onion monster munch, washed down with a mug of typhoo tea with long life milk from the hotel room. Our heads heavily hit the pillows around 11.30pm and just before we fell asleep we laughed and repeated ‘what the bloody hell are we doing?’ and ‘this is ridiculous, what if the Little Chef trail kills us? What a way to go!’

Monday 31st July coming shortly, with twelve more Little Chef stops between Grantham & Cornwall. 

[allcheatscodes]

super mario sunshine gamecube

http://allcheatscodes.com/super-mario-sunshine-gamecube/

super mario sunshine gamecube

Super Mario Sunshine cheats & more for GameCube (GameCube)

Cheats

Unlockables

Hints

Easter Eggs

Glitches

Guides

Get the updated and latest Super Mario Sunshine cheats, unlockables, codes, hints, Easter eggs, glitches, tricks, tips, hacks, downloads, guides, hints, FAQs, walkthroughs, and more for GameCube (GameCube). AllCheatsCodes.com has all the codes you need to win every game you play!

Use the links above or scroll down to see all the GameCube cheats we have available for Super Mario Sunshine.

Genre: Action, Side Scrolling Platform Developer: Nintendo Publisher: Nintendo ESRB Rating: Everyone Release Date: August 26, 2002

Hints

The Chuckster

There is a guy on the building left of the shine gate. Go to him and face the tower with the slanted window behind him. Talk to him, when you give him a coin he will toss you into the tower for a shine!

Hidden Room

To get to the hidden room you first jump on the boat th goes to the shine gate then to the island and back. When it goes under the bridge there will be a coin do a high jump to get to the hidden room.

Secret Lighthouse Shine

To get a shine on the lighthouse use the rocket nozzle to get get up on top. When you are on the top of the light house hold the rocket nozzle (when the boost meter goes off) and jump and quickly ground pound on the black piece and collect the shine.

Spin Spray

Do a triple jump and squirt water.

Tounge Power

Once you have Yoshi, go to delfino Plaza and search for birds. Once you find one, rush toward it and press B. Yoshi should extend his tounge at the bird. When it touches the bird, the bird will turn into a coin. I’ve only tried this trick in Delfino plaza, but you can try it in other places yoshi is found.

Fall Into Pit Without Dying

In Pianta Village, get on Yoshi and jump into the pit. You will hit bottom and be able to hop off Yoshi and run around.

Sun Glasses And Shirt For Mario!

When you get 30 shines go to the villager in delfino plaza who is on the beach! (he is wearing sun glasses) This man will give you a cool pair of sun glasses!When you finish the game talk to the villager again. However this time he will give you a pair of shades and a shine sprite shirt!VERY COOL!

Buy A Sunshine Star

When you get 10 blue coins. Go to the docks and on the left side go in there, and exchange your 10 blue coins for a sunshine star.

Total Coins In Game

There are 120 shines and 240 blue coins.

Cool View

All you have too do is g in the water, and press y. Then you have to look down so the view is underwater. Then you can squirt water and hover and it looks and sounds cool.

Swim Faster / Flip Trick

To swim faster, you DON’T have to use FLUDD. You have to go underwater (press b about 2 or 3 times) and press a and b fast (doesn’t matter what speed, but not slow). He looks kind of funny, but you swim faster than just pressing a or b alone. To do the flip trick, you have to go on land and press a and b fast. Mario will slide on his belly, then flip.

Boucing Under Sun-Cover

To do this you must go to dalfino plasa where the two sun-shade things are on the left side of the island and jump on top of a pinecone. If done correctly you will keep on boucing under the sun-shade part and on top of the pinecone.

Another Secret Level ( Must Have Yoshi For This Task)

To get to another secret level on Delfino Plaza first you have to get yoshi then sit on the docks and wait for a boat to come, jump on the boat and ride it out to the island where the woman wants you to bring her coconuts. Sit out on that island and wait for the next boat to come it will take you to a tall wooden platform with bananas on it NOTE: ( I suggest that while you are waiting for the boat on that island that yo make yoshi keep eating coconuts in that tree so he doesn’t die, do the same thing with the bananas on the wooden platform. ) When you are sitting on that wooden platform wait for a while and you will see another boat coming, when the boat gets close enough carefully jump on it. After you get on the last boat it will take you to the island where that dude is shipwrecked. Yo will see a green pipe with that yellow gunk on it that only yoshi can defeat. Spray the yellow gunk with yoshi`s juice, after the gunk is gone, jump off of yoshi and in to the pipe, it will take you to a secret level. NOTE: ( Jump on the boats very, very , VERY carefully because it is very easy for yoshi to fall into the water during this task.

How To Defeat One Of The Secret Levels

If you have seen the hint that tells you about a secret level in a green tube where tall grass is everywhere and you have to find red coins, and are having trouble with that level, these hints will surely come in handy. I`ll tell yo exactly where every one of the red coins are. The first one you find is on that wooden platform but you probably already Knew that. Then you will see a Pianta that is running around and freaking out because he is on fire, put out the fire then press B to talk to him, afterward and he will give you the next red coin. Then you use the rocket nozzle to get on top of a really tall wooden platform, while you`re up there press the Y button to look around, you will eventually see a red bird flying around, spray it with water until it is dead and it will give you a red coin. You will also see a bunch of those round things that have pointy things sticking out of them an have pink flowers on their heads, destroy all of those to get red coins. You will also see the blue ones that have yellow flowers on their heads and shoot black things at you when you get near them, kill all of those and each one will give you a red coin. And finally the last red coin, this one is pretty tricky to find, you will see several black holes on the ground that are shaped like squares, so what you do is you run all the way to a certain side of the place with tall grass, then you will eventually find a black square hole that has block on the side of it that looks like a watermelon, jump in that hole and walk forward and you will see a red coin on the side. If you have trouble finding the last one that I just told you keep looking because trust me it is there. NOTE: ( I would suggest, just to make it easier to use the yellow C control stick and point it up so that yo can see every thing in the tall grass rather then having to look around while that stupid grass is blocking you`re view) And I`m sorry for making you read this long, long, cheat don`t be mad. Any way that is exactly how you defeat that level, you enjoy that shine sprite.

Run Under Water

This trick only works in Delfino plaza.First get behind the tower whit the big shine sprite on. Then go to the lowest water. After that swim to the middle of the fence. When you are at is swim slowly to it and press B twice. If done correctly you will now fall down into the ocean standing at the bottom.

Faster Acceleration When Slide On Water

To do this (NO JUMP)hover in the air a little backwards, then quickly press B and push the analog stick forward at the same time. If done correctly you will have much more acceleration when you slide.

Easy Lives In Delfino Plaza

There is a little cave near the Pinna park cannon that contains a life up. Go to the little island near the lighthouse and spray the fire to get a life up (it is recommended the you have the turbo nozzle). Then after you get the blue coins from the people that want fruit, they give you a 1-up mushrooms (or as I call them “stalker mushrooms”).

Pantissimos Sand Sprint Made Easy

When you get to the part of Geleto Beach where you have to race el Pantissimo, immediately run to the isle as soon as you start the level. You should find a usable turbo box. Get it and race him. The shine sprite is as good as yours.

Free Shine Sprite

In Delfino Plaza, near the lighthouse, there is alittle beach. On the opposite side of the beach ofthe sunglasses guy, start spraying water. If youfind the right spot, you will see part of a shinesprite appear on the sand. Continue spraying thereand the picture will be complete. Then you have togo follow it.

How To Defeat Bowser

To defeat Bowser you ground pound the circle on each end of the pool. Thats how you defeat Bowser.

Sun

First, go to Pianta Village episode 8 Fluff festival coin hunt. Then, go to the platform on top of the big tree and squirt the sun. A picture of a shine sprite should apear finish the picture and you will get a shine sprite.

Getting To Corona Mountain

You have to beat the 7th level in every different world to get to Corona mountain. When you first beat all the levels, Delfino Plaza will flood, opening a place that was unreachable before.

Water Flinger

This is a cool move! It will fling water a long way ahead of you as Mario does a midair flip. This move can help you in the “Scrubbing Sirena Beach” section by cleaning up a lot more electric goop ahead of you. First, make sure you have your FLOOD on “hover” mode. Then jump in the air, press the L button and the R button at exactly the same time while in midair.

Easy Shine Sprite On Lighthouse

First you have to have your rocket nozzle (the red one) then go over and rocket up to the top of the light house (Gelato Beach Entrance). Rocket up again when you are on top of it then do a ground pound and the circle on top will bust and turn into a shine sprite!

Space Mario

This occurs in Gelato Beach�s sixth episode.Get what Yoshi wants to eat and jump on it.Spray with juice some paint to reveal a dune bud, spray it and it will take a giant foot-look, will be many coins and a blue coin too. Wait for the foot to dissapear. Spray it again, and at the last second it will transform, make a ground pound. Now, in airspace dismount Yoshi and the camera will zoom again in Mario, showing him high in the sky.NOTE: Reset the game then cause Mario won�t touch floor again, he will fall and fall and fall and fall.

Gelato Beach Secret

In gelato beach one of the shine sprites may be hard to find. Go up to the area where a lone dune bud stands next to the cliff. Spray it and a staricase going down will appear. Go down the steps but immediately spray the opposite wall. A shine sprite will appear.

Hiding In The Bushes

Heres another hidden mini game that most people over look. First go to the cannon that shoots you to pinna park. Look across the ocean to you right and you will see palm trees sticking out of the rock wall. Use the Rocket Nozzel to blast yourself ontop of the fronds. Keep going forward and you will see a pipe that leads to a “bushy” mini game. You have to find 8 red coins in really tall grass in this mini game.

Pinball Mario

In Delphino Plaza there is a entrance to a cool mini level that you can get a sprite for. Infront of the entrance to Noki Bay (the rainbow column) a boat will periodically appear at the dock. Jump on top of the boat and wait till your under the bridge. You will see a coin do a spin jump or backflip to jump up and use your hover nozzzel to get into the hole. (I reccomend using the hover nozzel for the mini stage) In the mini stage you use mario as a human pinball to get 8 red coins.

Fruit For Yoshi On Pinna Park Beach

Waht you do is squirt the sand and fruit and/or coins will pop up out of the sand.

Extra Yellow Coins In Delphino Plaza

To get extra yellow coins squirt the “Mario Wanted signs” in Delphino Plaza, Note; You may only do this once.

No Cataquackers

In Gelato Beach, there are 3 ways to bust cataquackers (the little fat ducks with no eyes):

1) Take a thingy to a weed, spray it with the hover nozzle, and let the dune bud do the rest.2) Follow the above code, but spray him first (only a suggestion!).3) Let the thingy run into the weed, get unconscious, and spray the weed to launch the dune bud.

Try each of these, and you’ll get a coin! (Red thingies, below episode 6, give you blue coins, but don’t get flung:it’ll hurt!!!)

Useless Book Thingy

This is about a useless book in Noki Bay.First do the “red coin” level and then go to the bottom of the bottle,then there is this pathway in the little building thing with a door in the back.After that you have to use your skills of changing the view so you can see behind the door and there is a book!!!NOTE:the door is locked and the book is IMPOSIBLE to get so dont even try to get it!

More On The 2-D Manta

There are a couple of good strategies for beating the manta. The first is good for when you have just started splitting up the manta, which you do by just spraying it with water. Switch to your hover nozzle and hover above the mini-mantas. If you go in circles, the streams will shoot out to the sides and you can kill a wide range of mantas. Don’t wait for your hover time to run out, however; make sure there’s a clear landing spot–which shouldn’t be too hard since the mantas can’t tell where you are since you’re in the air and they won’t try to attack you, they just want to get away from the water–and land. Once you land, though, make sure you’re quick in getting back in the air, because the mantas will be ready to leap on the first thing that moves. The second strategy is particularly useful when you’ve split up most of the giant manta and now you’ve got a bunch of hyperactive ultra-mini-mantas running around trying to kill you. Not good. But, have no fear. Just do a spin jump while spraying. To spin jump, rotate the control stick once really quickly as you push (A). If you hold down (R), Mario will spray water like a sort of levitated sprinkler. I call this the Levitated Spin ‘n’ Spray, but some refer to it simply as the Spin Jump That You Happen To Be Able To Spray Water At The Same Time. If you don’t want to jump, you can just spin ‘n’ spray while on the ground; don’t try this until you get really good at the spin ‘n’ spray–it’s kind of difficult to master, and if you screw it up in the air, you always have the chance to switch quickly to your hover nozzle and clear a landing spot, but if you’re on the ground when you screw it up, well, you’ve got a bunch of annoying little mantas that have been closing in on you. You can also cover more ground in the air–simple physics. The water will go farther when you’re in the air than when you’re on the ground. And don’t stick to just one strategy. Mix and match. Not that the computer will figure out what you’re doing; it just gets a little boring to be spin ‘n’ spraying all the time. Oh, and when you’re trying to beat the dude, stay on the beach right where the water breaks. This is good for a few reasons: one, the mantas won’t go into the water so they will all be in front of you; two, you will always have a clear landing spot because you are standing in the water and the mantas don’t want to go there; and three, if you run out of water you’re right there and don’t need to waste precious time and/or lives rushing down to the water, filling up, and rushing back again. Finally, clear off as much of the beach as you can before you go and talk to the hotel manager. It will make your life a WHOLE lot easier. Trust me. ^__^

Fall Through Ground

Play the first mission in Bianco Hills. From the start, go to where the houses are located. Drop down into the little path with a stream of water flowing through it. Go along the path to where the big water wheel is located. Do a Belly Slide to try to get under the water wheel. If you enter at the correct angle, you will go through the ground and die. This may require several attempts.

Pressure Shooting

Note: This trick requires the Speed Pack, and you have to hold R throughout the entire process, Jump in the water with the Speed Pack attachment and turbo speed through the water. Then, press Jump, immediately press X to switch to squirt mode, and you should see the external water appear, as on the Speed Pack.

Strange Point Of View

Go to Pianta Village and go to any episode when it is dark. Go to the pond near the very big tree and walk on the small land. Make Mario walk on the edge of it then go near the wall nearby. Mario should be walking on the water while hugging the wall. Then, press Y. Change the camera’s point of view upwards and press Y again. If done correctly, the camera should be stuck under the village and only Mario’s shadow and any person or object will be a “?”. If you want to return the camera back to normal, press Y.

To Beat Boser

To beat Boser you need the red nozer box. You go out to edges and hold r when you are in the air you click A. You do that on all four platforms.

Blue Moon

Go to Pianta Village on the stage (Secret of the Village Underside)and climb up onto the golden mushroom. Spray the moon for a blue coin.

Beat The Game Without Beating Bowser

When the town is flooded thats when you go to Carona Mountian. Once you get there just exit the level or kill your self (I suggest you don’t kill your self if you have a lot of lives but it is a lot more fun than just exitng the level) and once you get out, Delfino plaza won’t be flooded and no one will be mad at you!

Clean More Gunk Using Less Water

When cleaning dirt just do the jump spin and holdthe R button.

Secret Yellow Bird In Noki Bay!!!!

First, go to the level the shells secret.Turn to the left and start to swim. Then you will come to land. Run over there and wall jump up the little thing. On the left, you’ll find a tunnel. Run intothe tunnel until it ends. Then go into the GIANT hole.You will fall and bounce back up. At the top there is a tree with a yellow bird flying around it. Spray it 3 times and get a shine. (this is difficult, so it may take more than 1 try)

Free Hawaiian-like Shirt

Once you beat the game, save it and talk to the Pianta who gave you the sunglasses. He will give a free hawaiian shirt.

Gold In Delfino Plaza

When you get the rocket nozzlein Delfino Plaza, you need to clean off the 2 bells and the fake, giant star spirit for a real star spirit.

Star Spirits In Delfino Plaza

When you get more nozzles in Delfino Plaza, use them to shoot upward, sideways, or hovering to get the “hidden” star spirits.

Secret Shine

Wondering where to find the the second secret shine? Just head up to the sprout near the bottom of the cliffs, by the green pianta, and spray the dune bud until it makes a downway staircase. Instead of dashing to get the coins, start soaking the far wall of the staircase. You can uncover thid shine on almost any episode.

Easy Coins In Gelato Beach

Enter episode 8 “Watermelon Festival”, and pop the watermelons. A coin will come out each time you pop them.

Gelato Beach Hidden Level

In Gelato beach, water the dune buds until one reveals a sand castle. Enter the sand castle to get to the hidden level.

Beat 2-D Manta Ray

On Sirena Beach to beat the 2-D manta ray you have to keep spraying the manta ray don’t listen to whatever FLUDD says. Once you have kept on spraying him and all the little guys the Shine Sprite will be yours.

Light House Sprite

Yo get the light house sprite get the rocket nozzel then go to the light house. Use the nossel to get to the top. When you do get to the top ground pound the top to reveal the sprite.

Golden Bird Sprite

To get the golden bird sprite let the sun light up a little. When it does go to the small island where the Pianta is ship wrecked. Climb the tree,and then you will see a bird flying around squirt it a couple of water drops then a sprite will appear.

Water Slide Sprite

To get water slide sprite get the turbo nozzel in Isle Delfino. Then go where the two police menare. Use the nozzel to break the door where they stand.

Riddin A Lily Pad

While your in the water find a lily pad. Then jump on the lily pad and get out your water shooter thingy. After that piont the shooter in the oppisite direction that you want to go and spray water and the lily pad will move. (this wastes water but its fast and fun)

Extra Blue Coin

To get an extra blue coin go to the place where Mario starts and there will be an X on the statue(you need to clean it off first) spray the X until it disappears when it does go strait and then when you get to the water DONT jump off go left and get the blue coin wash off the other X on the wall and go back to the statue and get the coin where the first X used to be.

The Easiest Shine Sprite

On the beach in Delfino Plaza that is near the lighthouse. Spray water around the sand until you hit a spot that flashes yellow. Keep spraying that spot and a picture of a Shine Sprite appears.When the picture becomes whole, a real Shine Sprite will appear. Congradulations, you have just won The Easiest Shine Sprite!

Bell Tower Sprites

First, grab the Rocket Nozzle and head on over to one of the bell towers (they both sit by the ocean, and are right across from each other). Launch yourself up to a bell and start spraying. Don’t bother cleaning it from all sides, because if you spray in one spot long enough, it will clean the whole bell. Once it is spotless, a Shine Sprite will appear. Enjoy!

Get Mario’s Head Stuck In The Sand!!

Go to Gelato Beach or the beach in Delfino Plaza. Get a Rocket Nozzle and Equip it on FLUDD. GELATO BEACH: Stand on a tree or mirror facing the sand. DELFINO PLAZA: Stand on the lighthouse facing sand Fire the Rocket. As soon as it fires, press B If you pressed B as soon as it fired and landed in the sand, Mario’s head will be stuck in the sand!! (To get Mario unstuck, press A)

How To Get An Extra Star Sprite

On Delfino Plaza go to the light house and start to hover on the beach to get an extra Star Sprite

Noki Bay

When you get the giant light beam over the dolphin statue go in the center of it and look into the sun to get transported to Noki Bay.

Chorona Mountain

TO get to Chorona Mountain you need to beat seven episodes on each level to be able to fight bowers and bower jr.

Easy 100 Coins At Pinna Park

The easiest way to get one hundred coins at pinna park is to walk around spraying the beach outside by yoshi. You will get 100 coins in no time.

Last Red Coins On The SandBird

First you have to get all of coins on the bird. Just wait a little while then you see it on the tallest building (watch out of the bird it tips)

Easy Fruit

To get fruit easier just squirt it off the tree!!

Pinna Park Blue Coin Baskets

On the beach of Pinna Park, there are Blue Coins hidden in baskets that seem unopenable. Go into Episode 2 – The Beach Cannon’s Secret and lead a Bullet Bill into a basket and it will explode, revealing the coin.

Easy 100-Coin Shine Sprite In Pinna Park

The easiest way to get the 100-Coin Shine Sprite in Pinna Park is in Episode 2 – The Beach Cannon’s Secret. Wait for a Bullet Bill to come near you and spray it to get two coins. Just keep doing that.

Red Coins At The Airstrip

Once you defeat the final boss, you can hitch a ride back to the Airstrip where you can collect eight Red Coins to get another Shine Sprite.

Get Another Shine Sprite

When you are in Delfino Plaza go to the lighthouse stand by the lighthouse and spray water on a certain part of the beach to reveal a Shine Sprite.

How To Beat King Boo Easily.

King boo is a boss located in serena beach. To beat this guy easily first butt slam on the 3 purple squares. dont worry about the little boos that he lets out, if you spray king boo all the little ones go away. Then king boo will lick the 3 wheels, if you get a “???” there will be 3 different enemies that pop out, these are all simple to beat, but if one does get you stuck, dont worry, they disapair soon. If you get 3 gold coin signs, you get alot of coins. but when you get the 3 fruit symbols, out pops all kinds of fruit and 2 hot peppers. First take a hot pepper and throw it at king boo, then while king boo is trying to put out the flame on his tounge, throw any other fruit at him and he will turn purple. Do not throw another hot pepper at him, this will be unaffective. Do this 2 more times and the shine is yours!

Hidden Coins

When you are playing levels if you see an M or an X on the wall spray it until you hear a sound and a coin will come out. Either infront of you or somewhere else.

A New Story Is Born

To have a new part of the town open up a new story get 10 sunshine stars. Everytime you do new storys open.

Sunny Shine Sprite

Go into Pianta Village Episode 8 and climb up to the top of the wooden platform on the tall tree in the middle of the village. Look up to the sun and spray it to reveal a Shine Sprite.

Wiggling Yellow Gunk

In Delfino Plaza, a Blue Coin is trapped in a small cubby hole by wiggling yellow gunk that hurts Mario when he touches it. To dispel the substance, squirt it with Yoshi juice.

Secret For Getting 100-Coin Shine Sprites

If you are having trouble finding 100 coins to get the Shine Sprite, spray the ground all over the stage to uncover coins.

Blue Coin Signs

Hidden in each level are different signs with another corresponding sign. Spray the sign and a Blue Coin will appear out of its corresponding sign. The Blue Coin will only stay for a short time, so be quick.

Ultimate Slip N’ Slide

To do the ultimate slip n’ slide first spray a little water in front of you, then dive on the spot where the water is and you will slide non-stop until you go to slow and stop or you hit something.

Beating Big Caterpillar

To beat big caterpillar, to a ground pound on the caterpillars stomach where the red arrow is pointing. Do this three times to get a shine sprite. But be careful!

Big Shine

Near the dolphin fountain, there is a person who wants you to collect fruit. Near her is a basket that is high up. jump onto the basket and then onto the ledge aove it. To the left, there is a pond. Fill up you water tank (if it needs it). To the left of the pool should be the big statue of the Big Shine. Jump onto the ledge that leads up to the statue. Next turn your Fludd machine to the spray/shoot mode and spray the Big Shine, trying to remove the mud. Once it’s all gone, a Shine will appear above the statue. Now what you have to figure out is how to get it! Good luck!

Blue Birds

Shoot the blue birds in every place that you see them to get a blue coin for each one.

Plaza/Airstrip 100 Coin Shine Sprite

You can collect the 100 coins needed for a Delfino Plaza’s Shine Sprite on the Airstrip. It counts either way, and is also easier to collect at the Airstrip.

Extra Red Coin Shine Sprites

In each stage there are secret stages that you must enter to complete an Episode, such as in Bianco Hills, the Hillside Cave Secret. After you complete the Episode, you can reenter the secret stage to find eight Red Coins in a certain time limit.

Dune Buds

In Gelato Beach, the small sprigs in the sand are Dune Buds. Water them and a sand structure will appear, possibly revealing coins or other secrets.

Travel Quicker

In some cases, you must travel quicker to reach a place or item within a time limit. To do this, just press B to hop along the ground, which is much faster than just running.

100 Coin Shine Sprite

In each level, including Delphino Plaza, you can get a Shine Sprite by collecting 100 yelloe coins within the stage.

Faster Belly Slide

To do a faster belly slide, squirt the ground in front of you, then press B to slide over it and you will continue to slide until you choose to stop.

Get A Shine Sprite

When you are in Delfino Plaza, go to the guy on the stranded island. Shoot the yellow bird that flies around and you will get a Shine Sprite.

Safety Hut

In the hotel level when the 2-D Manta Ray attacks go under 1 of the huts to not get hurt.

Mario’s New Look

After you beat bowser, find any sunglasses guy and talk to him. He will give you a “Cool Island Shirt” to wear.

Easy Cleaning

Instead of taking a bath each time Mario gets dirty, do one or two spin jumps.

Avoid Losing Health When Falling

When falling from high places, press L to do a Ground Pound. This will make you fall very fast and not lose health.

Avoid Dying

Pause the game when you are about to die and select “Exit Area”. You will be teleported in front of the level you were at and not lose a life. Note: This does not work if you are falling.

Sunglasses

To get the sunglasses, talk to the man wearing glasses on the beach in Dolphic Plaza. The sunglasses tint your screen as if you were actually wearing them. He is also found in many other levels. He will not give them to you if you have less that 30 Shine Sprites.

Yoshi Juice

After eating a fruit, Yoshi can then spit out juice to defeat enemies.

Get Yoshi

Progress though the game till you get 25 Shine Sprites. Go to Pinnal Park and complete Story #4 . You will now be back in town. The Fake Mario will appear with an egg. Chase him down to get Yoshi.

Alternate Ending Screen

Successfully complete the game with all 120 Shine Sprites and the ending screen will show all the characters in the game.

Hidden Tunnels

Stand on the sun/moon shaped lids and do a ground pound. You can find some coins or items down there or use them as shortcuts.

Ending Bonus

Successfully complete and save the game. You can pay 10 coins to use a boat near the clock tower where Yoshi is found to return to the Airport level at the start of the game. Additionally, you can get a Hawaiian shirt in addition to the sunglasses that the man wearing sunglasses gives Mario normally during the game.

Cheats

Mario Yoshi Luigi Buddy

Go to the main menu and press A, B, Y, Y, X, Z, L, L, R.

In Game Restart

Press A, B, L, R, X, Y, Z, and Start anytime in the game and it will restart.

Super Spin

To do a super spin, press R then imediatly press A.

Unlockables

Secret Blue Coin

In the pinta village episode: “The villages underside seceret”, get the yoshi and eat all the bees where the egg was. The last bee you eat turns into a blue coin.

Easter eggs

Currently we have no easter eggs for Super Mario Sunshine yet. If you have any unlockables please feel free to submit. We will include them in the next post update and help the fellow gamers. Remeber to mention game name while submiting new codes.

Glitches

Cannon Glitch

In defleno plaza that red thing by penia park viewing, is a cannon the guy will say he’s repairing it. But when you ground pound on the top of the cannon you will go inside the cannon. (note) dosen’t take you to penia park yet.

Under The Plaza Glitch

I accidentally did this while trying to do the walk under water glitch during the flood (go under the log by the pianta statue and start pressing A). Go under the log and press A and B alternatively until you sink and land. If done correctly you should fall through the ground and be in oblivion! Note: this may take a while to do. If you do perform the walk under water glitch without falling through, go to the market and jump up onto the canvas’ and jump again to swim.

Guides

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[allcheatscodes]

mario amp luigi bowsers inside story nintendo ds

http://allcheatscodes.com/mario-amp-luigi-bowsers-inside-story-nintendo-ds/

mario amp luigi bowsers inside story nintendo ds

Mario & Luigi: Bowser’s Inside Story cheats & more for Nintendo DS (DS)

Cheats

Unlockables

Hints

Easter Eggs

Glitches

Guides

Get the updated and latest Mario & Luigi: Bowser’s Inside Story cheats, unlockables, codes, hints, Easter eggs, glitches, tricks, tips, hacks, downloads, guides, hints, FAQs, walkthroughs, and more for Nintendo DS (DS). AllCheatsCodes.com has all the codes you need to win every game you play!

Use the links above or scroll down to see all the Nintendo DS cheats we have available for Mario & Luigi: Bowser’s Inside Story.

Also Known As: Bowser’s Inside Story: Mario & Luigi

Genre: Role-Playing, Isometric Action RPG Developer: Nintendo Publisher: Nintendo ESRB Rating: Everyone Release Date: September 16, 2009

Hints

Get Magic Window

To get magic window find a underground room in bowser castle with a circle button a square button and a triangle button. There will be a sign that sais o is one less then square, and triangle is one more then square. It means (circle, square, square, trianglex3 press button on door) or (circle triangle triangle triangle, square square, door button) it is one of these and after you finish and get the correct one you will open a freezer full of awful machines and toad things. Push the button on the left and it will unfreeze 3 aliens mario and luigi fought as a child. Once you defeat them you will get 10 attack pieces with the ability magic window.

Level 40 And 50 Guide

Go to the airway and fight EVERY monster in every room for mario and luigi and once you get out go outside peaches castle and train on metal mawful moles or mechawfuls and once you are finished go back to the airway and go the whole thing all over again until level 50 or 40 is reached. And for bowser train in bowsers castle and/or inside peaches castle it will not be easy though you must bring good gear and items.

Get Congratulated!

Get at least 40 level points with each character and win the final battle. The mysterious voice should be amazed by you and will congratulate you. [NOTE]You can get more level points to become stronger.

Hide & Seek Toad

Sometime later in the game mario and luigi are allowed outside of Bowsers body (after the blorbs are cured). When you unlock the yellow pipe go through it and you’ll find yourself in Toad Town. You are on the east side of the mall, go left and you’ll be on the west side (this is importent). Go down from the pipe and go left to the badge shop. Just outside the store there is a small blue toad. Talk to him and he says his parents are boring and he wants you to play hide and seek with him. Say yes and he’ll run and hide. Go up and right, now even though the blorbs are cured you’ll still see a REALLY fat toad (he says that’s the way he normally looks. He must not exercise at all! ) Anyway the small toad is hiding behind him. Then he’ll run off again and then hide in the mushroom level shop. Then he’ll hide again go into the west side of town. I had trouble with this one because when he leaves you see where he goes next. This time your in a shop so you only see him leave. But go into the west side and he’s hiding behind a warp pipe (not one that leads into bowser). Find him and he’ll run away again he is still in the west side though. This time he is in the shine sprite level shop. In the changing room (I’ve always had a hunch about that room! ) . (This is the last time he’ll run off). He’ll run to the east side of town again, and not only that but he’s hiding behind the fat toad AGAIN. Find him and he’s all WOW and you’re all OH YEAH I’M EPIC! After you find him he’ll give you a gear that nullifies damage once per turn!

Bowser Spin Ball

Once you free Bowser from the safe he will tell you that his back hurts. Go to the room toadstool is in and he will tell you to drill into Bowser’s back. It will take while. While you wait this is your time to rest yourself.

Durmite X Gauntlet Node

Pretty easy battle if you are level 18 or higher. No specials needed just jump on it or use hammer and it will fall easily. Challenge class 1. Reward 1000 coins.

Bowser Memorie MLX Gauntlet Node

Magic window and falling star is the only thing you need for this challenge. For mario use magic window on both memories then for luigi use falling star only on luigi Memorie X because hes the one who is most threatening to you. Class 4 reward 6000 coins.

Alpha Kretin X Gauntlet Node

If the circle on the Alpha kretin is red use jump with mario to it to be defeated, if the Alpha kretin is green use luigi to jump on it. Once it falls use any attack you think is useful. Challenge class 2 reward 3000 coins.

Beat Junker X In Gauntlet Node

The only ability you need is jump/hammer magic mirror and falling star to have an easy chance of beating Junker X. First as Mario use magic window then use falling star as Luigi to weak him once he sends out the little junker X the junker will suck up Luigi free him and do the process all over again. Reward is 5000 coins level 35 or higher can enter challenge class 5.

Beat Dark Star X In Gauntlet Node

By the time you have reached class 6 gauntlet node you should need only spin pipe, magic window, and falling star. Use magic window/spin pipe to beat the little Starmite X once they’re beaten the dark star will become vulnerable for you to use Falling star many times while its down no other ability can be used while its down. Must be at least level 43/45 to be able to compete in challenge. The reward is 9000 coins for beating challenge class 6.

A-Ok Whear

Beat all the monsters in airway and beat all challenge classes in gauntlet node you’ll have money to buy A-Ok wear for mario and luigi!

Get Spin Pipe

Go to plaqe beach and find the house of kuzzle with mario and luigi. After you find him, he will give you a puzzle to do and if you complete it, the ability will be unlocked for you. And also to get another ability find sacks of puzzles and solve other puzzles to get another ability.

Secret Class 7 In Gauntlet Mode

Go to challenge node in Bowsers body and enter gauntlet mode (must have beaten dark star in airway before entering) then beat all classes 1-6 (must be at least level 45 to finish) after that the final mode, class 7 will be open. Every enemy you have fought in gountlet will be in one battle no hp recovery, no sp recovery, and only few items allowed. You must be at level 53 or 55 to beat the final boss. Bowser X he is strong and he can defeat mario in an easy shot. Train in airway to have a chance in beating Bowser X.

Mushroom Balls

A toad north of tea shop will ask you to find mushroom balls hidden around the mall no were else. You must search behind walls beside stairs and behind light posts and underground, these are hard to find there are 15. Happy hunting!

How To Deafet Wisdurm (first Sage)

First you must talk to the toad that is in the waiting room in the hospital in toad town next he will tell you to get specials in plaqe beach and bowsers castle. You will need them both once you have gotten the special abillities, go to wisdurm, and begin the battle. Then everytime for mario use magic window (bowser castle ability) perfectly to achieve wisdurms second form. Then for luigi use spin pipe (plaqe beach ability) on wisdurms tail repeat and wisdurm will be defeated.

How To Get Falling Star (final Special Move)

To get falling star: you must go to peaches castle (outside) and get the blue turtle shell that is bottom right of the castle map and hit the blue turtle block and use luigi to knock mario into the puzzle pieces you will get 7 and the flying blur shell koopa will ask for 300 coins agree and you will get the last 3 and have the falling star ability.

Hero Wear

All you have to is go to “Energy Hold” then go to mirror screen and on the last one go all the way to the bottom and then turn OFF the light and hit the box.

Using Socks

Make the mario brother who usually gets knocked out slower wear hustle socks. If you flee, no fee! (even if the non-hustle sock werarer is Ko’d.

How To Beat Bowser Castle Midbus

First you need to get your SHYGUY SQUAD attack with Bowser and at least 60 horn pts then when you battle him you have to keep getting EXCELLENT and eat his food when thrown onstage. key:doughnut=10 cake=20 chicken=50+pow up

Triple Play

Once you get to the other side on the beach, walk forward and you’ll run into a little block dude who’ll ask for help. When you get him across, he’ll give you a special attack that lets bowser inhale enemies.

Crazy Statue Triple Attack!!!!!!

When you get through the beach, bowser will run into a statue and keep punching it until it comes to life. When it does, make sure you have the vacuum block and inhale the squid once in a while and let Mario and Luigi do their thing.

How To Defeat The Robot Like Mario And Luigi

To defeat the Robot like Mario and Luigi you have to use your specials. I suggest you use the super bouncer the most or if you want to you can use the fire flower instead.

Robot Like Mario And Luigi

In some part of the game, Bowser asks Chippy aka Starlow if she could go into his mind and get a safe combination. Before you get the combination, Mario and Luigi have to defeat these Robot like mind Mario and Luigi. After you defeat them you can get the combination.

Open Doors

Move Bowser onto the steel plate, punch the ball with the right timing and walk through the door.

Bowser’s Ultimate Move

To get Bowser’s final special attack, Broggy Bonker, you must collect all the Blitties, the block kittens. If you need help finding the Blitties, talk to Brouque, as he will say a brief sentence of their wherabouts. Remember, use the Vacumn Block on EVERY enemy to check for Blitties. Broggy Bonker is the best special for Bowser, I am currently level 40 and it inflicts, on excellent, 750 HP! Makes the final boss to easy, though.

How To Switch Categories

To switch categories just press R.

Where Peach Is At

Peach is at the flab place where bowser ate too much. The flab place will be unlocked after bowser ate too much.

Cheats

Currently we have no cheats or codes for Mario & Luigi: Bowser’s Inside Story yet. If you have any unlockables please feel free to submit. We will include them in the next post update and help the fellow gamers. Remeber to mention game name while submiting new codes.

Unlockables

Unlockables

Alternate Ending Message Beat the game with Mario, Luigi, and Bowser all being at least Level 40Alternate Ending Message Beat the game with Mario or Luigi at level 17 or lowerBro Socks Get "A" rank in Yoo Who CannonDizzy Boots Get "A" rank in Super BouncerChallenge Medal Get "A" rank in Green ShellAdvice Patch Get "A" rank in Spin PipeSiphon Gloves Get "A" rank in Magic WindowDaredevil Boots Get "A" rank in Jump HelmetMaster Wear Get "A" rank in all challengesTreasure ring Get an "A" rank on the Goomba storm challengeBone Fangs Get an "A"rank on the Koopa corps challengeFury band Get an "A"rank on the Bob-omb challengeHeroic ring Get an "A"rank on the magikoopa challengeKing Shell Get "A" Rank in all challenges

Easter eggs

Currently we have no easter eggs for Mario & Luigi: Bowser’s Inside Story yet. If you have any unlockables please feel free to submit. We will include them in the next post update and help the fellow gamers. Remeber to mention game name while submiting new codes.

Glitches

Currently we have no glitches for Mario & Luigi: Bowser’s Inside Story yet. If you have any unlockables please feel free to submit. We will include them in the next post update and help the fellow gamers. Remeber to mention game name while submiting new codes.

Guides

Currently we have no guides or FAQs for Mario & Luigi: Bowser’s Inside Story yet. If you have any unlockables please feel free to submit. We will include them in the next post update and help the fellow gamers. Remeber to mention game name while submiting new codes.

[allcheatscodes]

might and magic 7 for blood and honor pc

http://allcheatscodes.com/might-and-magic-7-for-blood-and-honor-pc/

might and magic 7 for blood and honor pc

Might And Magic 7: For Blood And Honor cheats & more for PC (PC)

Cheats

Unlockables

Hints

Easter Eggs

Glitches

Guides

Achievements

Get the updated and latest Might And Magic 7: For Blood And Honor cheats, unlockables, codes, hints, Easter eggs, glitches, tricks, tips, hacks, downloads, achievements, guides, FAQs, walkthroughs, and more for PC (PC). AllCheatsCodes.com has all the codes you need to win every game you play!

Use the links above or scroll down to see all the PC cheats we have available for Might And Magic 7: For Blood And Honor.

Genre: Role-Playing, First-Person Action RPG Developer: World Computing Publisher: 3DO Company ESRB Rating: Teen

Hints

Find The Altar Of Mind, Spirit, Body

It is in Deyja.

Find The Altar Of Accuracy, Speed

It is in Deyja.

Find The Altar Of Endurance, Might

It is in Barrow Downs.

Find The Altar Of Personality, Intellect

It is in Nighon.

Find The Altar Of Fire, Earh, Air, Water

It is in Erathia.

Find The Perfect Bow

It is in the Titan Castle/stronghold. (AvLee)

Find The Book Of Divine Intervention

It is in the breeding zone.

Find The Lantern Of Light

It is in BARROW 2. (Barrow Downs)

Find The Altar Of The Angel

It is in the Bracada Desert.

Find The Altar Of The Watchman

It is in AvLee.

The 14 Obelisks

The 14 Obelisks are in –

AvLeeBarrow DownsBracada DesertCelesteDeyjaErathiaEvermorn IslandHarmondaleLand Of The GiantsNighonStone CityTataliaThe PitTularean Forest

Find Haladar’s Remains

They are in THE MAZE.

Find The Light Altar Piece

It is in the Temple Of The Light.

Find The Dark Altar Piece

It is in the Temple Of The Dark.

Find Zokkar’s Skull

It is in the Nighon Tunnels.

Find The Case Of Soul Jars

It is in Castle Gloaming.

Find The Altar Of The Eagle

It is in Tatalia.

Find The Angel Statuette

It is in THE MAZE.

Find The 3 Portraits

Here is a list of the portraits and how to find them –

Archibald Ironfist Portrait - Castle GryphonheartRoland Ironfist Portrait - Castle GryphonheartAngel Portrait - Haunted House (Barrow Downs)

Find ALL The Golem Parts

Here are ALL the Golem parts and how to find them –

Head (dented and un-dented) - Bracada DesertChest - Barrow DownsRight Arm - TataliaLeft Arm - AvLee (Titan castle/stronghold)Right Leg - DeyjaLeft Leg - Deyja

Find The Map Of Evermorn Island

It is in the Tidewater Caverns.

Find The Watchman Statuette

It is in the Temple Of The Sun.

Find The Eagle Statuette

It is in the Temple Of The Moon.

The 3 Druid Circles

The 3 Druid circles are in –

AvLeeTataliaEvermorn Island

Get To New World Computing Dungeon

For those who know the New World Computing Dungeon in M&M6, there is one in M&M7 too. But you can only get there late in the game. When on Shoals Map (underwater map) you will find a sunken pirate ship in the middle right side of the map. There is a chest hidden behind some rocks at the bottom of the ship. In the chest is a bottle with a temple inside. Right-click on the temple in the bottle and do what it tells you to do. You will then be teleported to the New World Computing Dungeon. Have fun!

Find The Second (Expert) Dark Guild

The second Dark Guild (Guild Of Twilight – Expert) is located in the roof of the church in Deyja. Fly or jump is required to get there.

Find The Master Guild Of The Mind

The Master Guild Of Mind is located in the second floor of the Tatlia Inn. Fly or jump is required to get there. Just look up and and walk around the second floor until you see a hole in the fence. Jump into the open space and walk to the Master Guild Of The Mind.

Get To Evermorn Island

First complete the Cleric to Priest quest. Once you do, you can take ships going to Evermorn Island. Ships leave Erathia, Tatalia and the Tularean Forest on Sundays and the Bracada Desert on Tuesdays and Thursdays.

Money! Money! And More Money!

To get LOADS of money, after killing something that gives you a lot of money, (IE – A dragon) save your game. Then click on the dragon’s corpse. If the dragon remains visible, loot it again and save it. (If not, then reload and keep trying again and again until it is still visible) Now reload, loot it, reload, loot it and so on and so forth. You should get so much money like this that you’ll be buried under it!

Golem Arm

Is inside one of the chests you can see right after you enter TITAN CASTLE.

White Dragon

Is in TITAN CASTLE. (AvLee)

Hit Points Galore

To get a heck of a lot of hit points, first become a Dark Magic Grandmaster and learn the spell ‘Souldrinker’. (Easier said then done) Then find a creature with A LOT of hit points. (EG – Dragon, Titan) Just cast Souldrinker on the dragon to get ALL its hit points divided equally among your characters and to kill it in one shot!

Light Magic Guild

The Light Magic Guild is located in the Bracada Desert and you’ll probably need the spell jump or fly to get there.

Extra Stuff

Right where you start off at Harmondale in the second level, your castle is behind you. If you go around the castle to the back of it you will find two chests which contain a spear, etc. etc.

Learn Wizard Eye ASAP

Learn the spell ‘Wizard Eye’ as fast as you can because it shows where enemies are on the map and IS REALLY HELPFUL when trying to predict when your next enemy will come rushing towards you trying to kill you.

Thieves’ Guild

The Thieves’ Guild is located in the sewers of the city Erathia.

Archery Expertise Quest

To get the quest to become an archery expert, go to the BRACADA DESERT and visit all the houses. One of the people living in a house will gives you the quest to become an archery expert.

Perfect Combination

When choosing characters, choose a PALADIN, SORCERER, RANGER and ARCHER. Its the best combination in my opinion.

BIG Money

Sell gems you find to shops to get atleast 300 gold pieces!! Gems are found by killing trees in the TULAREAN FOREST which hurl fireballs and in the vast BRACADA DESERT!

Red Potion In Treasure Hunt

You will find a potion bottle in a crate and a red berry to make the potion in another crate. The crate with the potion bottle is near where you started and the red berry crate is in the west side of the island.

Floor Tile In The Treasure Hunt

The floor tile is located in a library in the TEMPLE OF THE MOON.

Longbow In Treasure Hunt

The longbow is located in the red dragons den.

Ore – Ickle

Collect as much ore as you can because if your characters have the right skills they can make ore into gems, weapons, armor, potion bottles and god-knows-what-else!!

The Hat In The Treasure Hunt

Talk to town citizens. One of them will try to sell you the hat.

Get To Titan Castle

To get to Titan castle, first get to AvLee. Then kill all the Wyverns on the left side of the island (If you are facing the ship) and when you look down on the other side of the Wyvern hill you will see TITAN CASTLE guarded by water sprites, etc. etc. Run through them and enter TITAN CASTLE. But be prepared! TITANS are as bad as dragons!!

Get In Fairy Mound

First get to FAIRY MOUND and then go around it in a circle once and a doorway should open allowing you to enter FAIRY MOUND.

Obelisk Treasure

Visit all the obelisks and get to Evermorn Island at midnight to get the OBELISK TREASURE!!

Inns Are GREAT!

If you sleep at an inn, all damage done to you is taken away so do it as frequently as possible!(But it does not remove special conditions like insanity, paralysis, etc. But it does cure weakness!)

Harmondale Hint

In Harmondale, in one house some old man will give you a task to find out what happened to his lost brother or something. Make sure you take it as you’ll find Acromage cards next to his dead body deep in a CAVE guarded by goblins. Get the Acromage cards as you can make a huge fortune playing ACROMAGE!

Bracada Desert Hint

In Bracada Desert, be sure to search it well. Lots of GEMS and GENIE LAMPS are all over the place.

Barrow Downs Hint

If you are about to open a treasure chest in BARROW DOWNS, then be sure that all your charcters have FULL HEALTH because these chests EXPLODE! And they take away a lot of your health!Be fully prepared!

Potions

Red Potion = Cure WoundsYellow Potion = Cure WeaknessBlue Potion = Magic Potion Red + Yellow = Cure Disease (Orange)Red + Blue = Cure Poison (Purple)Yellow + Blue = Awaken (Green)

Master Potions

Use the following combinations to create Master level potions:

Green/Blue + Orange = Noxious Potion (White)Green/Blue + Green = Personality Boost (White)Green/Blue + Purple = Swift Potion (White)Green/Blue + Green/Yellow = Divine Power (White)Green/Blue + Orange/Red = Divine Restoration (White)Green/Blue + Orange/Yellow = Body Resistance (White)Green/Blue + Purple/Red = Mind Resistance (White)Green/Yellow + Orange = Cure Paralysis (White)Green/Yellow + Green = Intellect Boost (White)Green/Yellow + Purple = Noxious Potion (White)Green/Yellow + Orange/Red = Fire Resistance (White)Green/Yellow + Purple/Red = Divine Restoration (White)Green/Yellow + Purple/Blue = Water Resistance (White)Orange/Red + Orange = Speed Boost (White)Orange/Red + Green = Flaming Potion (White)Orange/Red + Purple = Shocking Potion (White)Orange/Red + Orange/Yellow = Divine Cure (White)Orange/Red + Purple/Blue = Air Resistance (White)Orange/Yellow + Orange = Accuracy Boost (White)Orange/Yellow + Green = Cure Paralysis (White)Orange/Yellow + Purple = Flaming Potion (White)Orange/Yellow + Purple/Red = Earth Resistance (White)Orange/Yellow + Purple/Blue = Divine Restoration (White)Purple/Red + Orange = Shocking Potion (White)Purple/Red + Green = Freezing Potion (White)Purple/Red + Purple = Might Boost (White)Purple/Red + Purple/Blue = Luck Boost (White)Purple/Blue + Orange = Freezing Potion (White)Purple/Blue + Green = Swift Potion (White)Purple/Blue + Purple = Endurance Boost (White)

Grand Master Potions

Use the following combinations to create Grand Master potions:

Orange/Yellow + Orange + Green = Pure Accuracy (Black)Green/Blue + Green + Purple = Pure Personality (Black)Green/Yellow + Green + Orange = Pure Intellect (Black)Orange/Red + Orange + Purple = Pure Speed (Black)Purple/Red + Purple + Orange = Pure Might (Black)Purple/Red + Purple/Blue + ??? = Pure Luck (Black)Purple/Blue + Purple + Green = Pure Endurance (Black)

Expert Potions

Use the following combinations to create Expert level potions:

Green + Blue = Recharge Item (Green/Blue)Green + Yellow = Harden Item (Green/Yellow)Green + Red = Bless (Green/Red)Green + Orange = Cure Insanity (Green/Orange)Green + Purple = Remove Curse (Green/Purple)Orange + Red = Haste (Orange/Red)Orange + Yellow = Stone Skin (Orange/Yellow)Orange + Blue = Preservation (Orange/Blue)Orange + Purple = Remove Fear (Orange/Purple)Purple + Red = Heroism (Purple/Red)Purple + Yellow = Water Breathing (Purple/Yellow)Purple + Blue = Shield (Purple/Blue)

Easy Experience

Battle a monster that is worth a large amount of experience points, such as a red or blue dragon. After killing the creatures, do not search the body for items. Then, cast Paralyze on the dead monster, to bring it back to life. It may now be killed with one successful hit to collect its experience points. Repeat this to rapidly accrue experience.

The Golem Head

When collecting parts for the GOLEM you have to build make sure you use the good head instead of the dented one because otherwise you GOLEM will attack you!

Cheats

Currently we have no cheats or codes for Might And Magic 7: For Blood And Honor yet. If you have any unlockables please feel free to submit. We will include them in the next post update and help the fellow gamers. Remeber to mention game name while submiting new codes.

Unlockables

Currently we have no unlockables for Might And Magic 7: For Blood And Honor yet. If you have any unlockables please feel free to submit. We will include them in the next post update and help the fellow gamers. Remeber to mention game name while submiting new codes.

Easter eggs

Currently we have no easter eggs for Might And Magic 7: For Blood And Honor yet. If you have any unlockables please feel free to submit. We will include them in the next post update and help the fellow gamers. Remeber to mention game name while submiting new codes.

Glitches

Currently we have no glitches for Might And Magic 7: For Blood And Honor yet. If you have any unlockables please feel free to submit. We will include them in the next post update and help the fellow gamers. Remeber to mention game name while submiting new codes.

Guides

Currently no guide available.

Currently no guide available.

Currently no guide available.

Currently no guide available.

Achievements

Currently we have no achievements or trophies for Might And Magic 7: For Blood And Honor yet. If you have any unlockables please feel free to submit. We will include them in the next post update and help the fellow gamers. Remeber to mention game name while submiting new codes.