#that big dang ole tit

[bimbo-travel-blog]

Hey there. Ah jus' stopped in town for a spell an' somethin' seems off but I can't seem ta figure it out. First mah cock gots all swelled up then mah girl couldn't get enough of it. Every loads bigger than the last and she's been blowin' up all pretty like. All tits an' ass. Well an' those big ol' lips. Says mah "bull cock" as she calls it needs polishin'. When she can pull her big ol' lips off mah pecker that is. She's been drainin' mah nuts nonstop and I'm always full! I thought somethin' musta happened so we went to see the local Doc. Nice fella. Told me I was a lucky bull, whatever that means. Says a lil growth ain't a probl'm round here. Heh I got a foot of pecker now. 5 inches of growth is lil here I guess. Told us we're prob'ly in heat an' not to think too much about it, or anythin'. Sent us into town to get some new clothes since we got more growin' ta do. Mah girls jugs already big as her head and her giant rear been hangin' out her torn pants. Mah dicks almost to mah knee in these shorts an' it's always leakin' now. How big he think we gonna git? All this talk makin' me wanna dump a big ol' load in mah girl again. Bend her over an' fuck her brains out. Shit I think she heard me. Wait. Honey you can't suck mah dick in tha store. Get off the ground b'fore I....fuck.....

Aww you two sound cute!

And it's good yer bimbo is getting some teething time in. They need a good dick to suck with their buck teeth and bj lips are growin' in. When they gettin' all country fried they gots ta learn that they mouths fer suckin' not yappi'. Swear.

You don't teach a gurl that they only sound smart when they suckin' cock and you get a level 5 yapper. That's how you get bimbo's working at the tourist board! lol. It's tru though. You get bull boys comin' in all "Where can a guy get a dick sucked?" And we're all like "Well sir here's a list of randy restaurants" Like what? lol.

But ya'll seem to be findin' yer way round town without our help! So yew just keep doing yew stud. And Hey a footer ain't nothin to be ashamed of. It's a great starter fur a new arrival! And you got that drippy kind of dick. So hot. Awful dissapointin' when you dew all the werk of makin' your man cum, and cum up empty on the baby batter. Keep on pumping bull boy until you get that bell o' hers nice and full!

Oh and just let the dang girl fuck ya, boy! We ain't a bunch of rudey prudey city sinners! We don't get offended when two lovers do what Bambi done made them ta do. Get it? Fuck in the store, fuck on the floor, fuck in the street, cum on your sheets. It's all good new born master man.

[ask-de-writer]

FIENDSHIP IS MAGIC  

(Part 59 of ?)  

18+ readers only  (sex scenes)

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FIENDSHIP IS MAGIC

or

Making Fiends and Influencing Ponies

An Anthro *Tail* of the Mane Six

Part 59 of ? (Work in Progress)

by

De Writer

66443 words (story in progress)

© 2022 by Glen Ten-Eyck

All rights reserved.  This document may not be copied or distributed on   or to any medium or placed in any mass storage system except by the express written consent of the author.

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All sorts of fan art, cosplay, music or fiction is actively encouraged.

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AJ ruminated briefly and then nodded her head. “Y'all done been right so far. It really do look like you was havin' fun. So what's it take fur me ta start that, what you calls it? Saddle Arabian dancin'?”

Kin held out her arms and answered, “It starts right here, AJ.”

As AJ nestled into Kin's light hug, she snorted, “Lots o things start here with you, Kin! All good ones, now Ah gots m' head on right. Thanks fur what Ah already done got.”

By the time that she was done speaking, Kin was done too.

As she was finishing with donning her dancing dress, she did a luxurious stretch. “Dang! Rare, you made this here? It even fits mah big ol' upper deck!” She had put on the stockings and dance slippers as if she had done it all her life.

“So, what's we do first?”

Pinkie clattered her zills and then pointed to Kin. “Just follow her lead, AJ! It really is like remembering something that you never knew before! You will see!”

Just like Rarity and Pinkie before her, as she followed Kin's starting position, a look of complete understanding settled on her face. As the music began, she started both her zills and her hip lifting steps like she was born doing them. In fact, she had her tail into the act without coaching of any sort. With her hips, lower back and tail all moving smoothly in the precise sort of movements demanded by the dance, she got a thoughtful look, ears forward in both interest and concentration, lips pursed slightly, she began both shoulder lifts counter to hips, and the shimmying of her amazing tits all at once!

Without stopping any of it, she stepped into a spin, flaring her skirts out in an almost horizontal river of colors! She slowed her spin and ended with one leg out of her skirts, knee bent, only the tip of her hoof touching the floor. The other leg was also flexed some, allowing the hip lifts to continue as she began a series of belly rolls.

She broke into another spin, in the opposite direction and suddenly she was swirling the front half of her skirt in front of her! She came to a pause, still undulating to the music as she peeked mischievously over the top of the veil! In front, it only hung as far down as the tops of her stockings! She swooped the veil in an eyecatching set of swirls while her tail matched the movements of the veil in front!

All was done so smoothly and with such attention snagging motion that it took a second to realize that her magnificent mamaries were now both nearly bare, framed by active fringes and sparkling coins!

She undulated back into motion, her boobs now actively bouncing in time to shoulder lifts as she passed through several arched poses, the better to show off her body.

Pinkie was watching in utterly floored admiration. She whispered to Rarity, “If she does much more of that, my tail is going to be too stiff to use in dancing!”

Kin was dancing along with AJ but letting the tan mare have the moment, being the star, as it were. And there was more!

AJ went back to hip lifting, butt shaking, tail swirling, breast shimmying action for a little and did another dancing spin, her skirt lifting and then rising up in her hands! She entered into another set of dazzling veil work, swooping it high and low and spinning about! When she let it fly, she was dancing in nothing but a garter belt, hose slippers and a sexy frame about her tits!

With a serene expression, she slowed her dance without stopping it, coming to face the front door as Kin's magic opened it on Foamy, Clarice, Princess Twilight, Princess Luna and Princess Celestia!

With a chuckle, Luna commented, “We all peeked at the window! Not how it's done in Saddle Arabia! I like your way far better!”

Celestia snickered, “We came here for a briefing on Kin. Looks like there is a lot that I want to learn!”

Foamy was simply demanding, “We have to see that again, maybe several times, so that we can figure out the choreography! Pinkie! Why did you hold out on us! This HAS to go into the show!

Clarice was just a bit more thoughtful as she said, “I don't think that Pinkie was holding out on us, Foamy.” She extended a finger at Kin and added, “THERE is the epicenter of this ponyquake! And my Celestia, were they shaking!”

Pinkie nodded, “She sure is! None of us but her even knew what a zill was or any step of these dances! She fixed that! Only took a couple of minutes for each of us and after that, it's like remembering the dance steps and reflexes. Only takes a few minutes to get it all to kick in.”

Princess Twilight nodded thoughtfully. “I have been keeping track of your rehearsals and I don't believe that you are using my two side stages, are you?”

Pinkie, brow furrowed, answered, “Nope. Not big enough for the set pieces and I was trying to keep the focus forward, to the main stage.”

“I see. May I suggest to the producer, two Saddle Arabian dancing mares on each side between the big sets? Put concession stands at each end of the side stages. That is already set up with kitchen access. If you are worried about music conflict, sound isolation is a simple and basic spell. I use it a lot around the palace.”

Pinkie nodded, “That could work out really well. We would have to train a number of dancers, but if I know them, our problem will be too many wanting in on it.

“Thing I don't know is if any of the music is legal. Copyright can be a bitch.”

Kin offered, “The music that I know is all traditional. I last heard any of it over a thousand years ago. I am pretty sure that it is safe.”

Celestia stirred the conversational pot a little more by asking, “Foamy, Clarice, it is lovely to see you guys again but why did you leave the Royal Ballet?”

“My foal Barrel Racer was sick. Needed the horsepital. Impre told me to get him a bottle of chest lineament and I could have a day off at half pay. Any more days would be at no pay.

“I was born over near Bleatin Hallow and had friends in Ponyville. Some of them were dancers at Ponys At Night. The mares raised half of what Racer needed for the horsepital. The owners of the club found out and put up the rest. I even got a free place to stay while Racer got better.

“To say thank you, I scored them some strip dances and drilled them for it. Got to say, they were skeptical at first but my choreographed dances pulled in near twice as many tips. The same owners that paid Racer's horsepital bill found out about that and tried me on some other dancers. Then they put me on full time at near three times what I got from the Royal Ballet.

“I mirrored Clarice and she took a few days here, got hired and quit the Royal Ballet. We had to test some of our own choreography and wound up as Headliners. We score dances for all five of Ponyville's clubs.”

Clarice snorted, “When Foamy mirrored me, my rent had just gone up by two silver a month. Impre told me that I should quit eating so many asparagus salads, as if I could afford even one! Got a good deal here and a lot of respect from the dancers and club owners too.”

TO BE CONTINUED

<==PREVIOUS ~ NEXT==>

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[outrealm-gates]

Oh god, Ann thought to herself. Was she a fan? Of her modeling gigs? She was definitely off the grid for a bit since her tits decided to become enormous, mostly because the modeling agency had to spot transfer her to a division around Hyper models. After all, a little unfair for a model with tits this huge to model a bikini for someone with double d's.

"Oh dang, Hi there! Yeah it's uh... been a journey with these things. Here, let's get you in the back and into something more supportive, that sound good? I can help you work with these big Ole things and maybe do a shopping spree with ya!"

If she was a fan... well, she didn't wanna push herself on someone. But maybe both their dreams could come true...

Starter for @outrealm-gates

Step, slosh. Step, slosh.

"Hah... Ah... nngh..." A young woman clad in naught but a blanket pushed a trolley in front of her.

Step, slosh. Step, slosh.

She had to take a break after every few steps thanks to the tremendous weight of her new chest. It was more than she could bare sometimes... but she was at least mobile. For now. After taking 10 minutes to travel what used to take her 10 seconds, she finally reached the waiting room at the local Hypermastia clinic. She had hoped coming here would return some sense of normalcy to her life... but even here, she felt big... but thats to be expected when each of your tits is the size of a bed. All she could do was sit down, collect her breath, and rest her legs until her doctor arrived.

Yet even when she sat still... she could feel her breasts growing, filling... swelling. It filled her with equal parts excitment... as well as dread.

[lexsiah]

tryina teach myself to paint planets and stuff, should really be usin refs

[boogiewrites]

Mae Flowers 4

Characters: Alfie Solomons x Mae LeBlanc (OFC)

Word Count:  4900

Summary: A modern, magical Alfie Solomons AU. 

Warnings/Tags: Language.Magic/Supernatural. Soul mates. Racism, microaggressions. Some domestic fluff, getting to know you stage. Talk of past neglect, depression, anxiety.

Click on my screenname then go to Mobile Masterlist in my bio for my other works and chapters. (Had to do this since Tumblr killed links, sorry.)

Mae wakes up for the second morning in a row well rested. She'd gone to bed with a full stomach, having eaten their weight in seafood and grits the night before. She felt more at ease today with the fact that there was a man living with her now. He'd stood up for her, helped her cook and put Ruth and Nance's minds at ease for. She felt a warm feeling when she thought of him. It could be the magic, she thought.

Her inner light was growing stronger, it was being fed with another power like it's own, the darkness stirring up her previously unstable energies, making it build and heal itself from all the years alone and unsure. Alfie gave her a strange sense of fullness, stability of sorts she hadn't expected. Normally having another person in her life would make her feel anxious, second-guessing everything she did at the expense of her own peace of mind to keep the other person comfortable. But that wasn't happening with him.

She throws on her robe, scratching her head and yawning big, the smell of coffee hitting her nose as soon as her slippers start bopping across the old hardwood floor towards the kitchen. Alfie stood leaned against the counter in pajama pants and a soft, sleep rumpled t-shirt. His hair was a mess, one side flat and the other sticking up, his eyes lazy with smacking lips as he scratched his stomach waiting on the coffee pot to deliver.

"Mornin' love." he says with a slow nod, his voice deep and sleepy.

"Mornin'." she grumbles, taking a seat at the table in a sunbeam.  Percy lets out a little 'mrrrrowl' of greeting, bumping his head to hers as she runs her fingers along his spine. "Hey Perce." she mutters, his tail swishing in her face and making her nose twitch. She's slowly waking up, Percy laid out in front of her on his back, trying to be cute and keep her attention.

"Hazlenut or French Vanilla?" Alfie asks, standing with the fridge door open, staring into the dull glow.

"Thought you could read my mind." she smirks, her head slowly turning to him.

"I can but you don't know which ya want." he retorts with a snarky smile.

"Hazlenut." she answers with a nod, watching him bring the two mugs over to the table as he plops down next to her, landing in the chair with a loud scoot of its legs across the floor.

So what's on the 'ol agenda today?" he asks, sitting up straight and cracking his spine.

"Uh... not much. We got ahead yesterday." she nods and closes her eyes, taking a sip of the hot liquid and letting it warm her from the inside out. "Thanks for that by the way." she says, eyes blinking open now, looking more alert.

"Don't mention it. I'm here to help." he nods and watches her over the steam rising from his mug.

"If you need to like, do stuff here today you can." she offers. "Just basic stuff for me today to do at the shop. No orders or anything. All caught up for the week." she states with a lazy smile of thanks. "If you wanna unpack and get used to the place... bond with Percy." she nods over the lazy white cat soaking up a sunbeam.

"I do have stuff I can do today with ya out. Get me things all situated. What do ya say Percy?" he asks the cat with a smirk on his face.

Percy raises his head and looks at him, blinking slowly.  A weak meow escapes him before he lays back down totally uninterested.

"He doesn't care." Alfie chuckles.

"Alright." she nods, taking a bigger sip. "I'm gonna take this." she holds the mug in both hands and stands. "Gonna get a shower and get ready and be on my way. Make whatever you want, Friday's are my day I get a smoothie on the way to work." she says and he feels her excitement about the future purchase.

"Will do. I'll keep it simple. Lots of liftin' 'n that to do today." he groans and stretches, as she waddles back into her bedroom. ---- The calm she'd felt at home felt farther and farther away the further she got from home. The usual heaviness, that quivering ball of nerves that told her something was wrong, that she was wrong started to grow back into its usual place in her stomach. Mae sips her berry smoothie and leans over the front counter, her jeans feeling a little tight today, her toes curling and uncurling in the ballet flats that matched her green t-shirt that she'd had made for her company. Her loose spiral curls dancing around her shoulders, the various shades of almost black brown catching the light that came through the high windows of the crowded and humid building. This would be the only moment of peace that she got for the day, as the downpour of things that made her want to crawl up and disappear seemed to hit all at once, leaving her dazed and confused.

First, Jessica shows up. She struts in the door tits first with her large Starbucks cup in tow, overlined lips sucking away at the straw. She doesn't even look at Mae until she's right in front of the counter.

"What do ya need today Jessica?" Mae asks with a perfectly polite attitude, setting her drink down to the side.

"Where's that big leprechaun you've got in here now?" she asks with a smirk as she looks into the back of the shop.

"Leprechaun?" Mae's nose wrinkles up in question.

"What was his name. The big guy with the accent in here yesterday." she replies obviously, jutting a hip out in her annoyance.

"Oh. Alfie." Mae answers flatly.

"Yeah that big boy." she grins.

"He's not working today." she answers, trying to remain indifferent.

"Oh." she slumps and pushes her lips together into a tight line.

"He's also not a leprechaun." she clarifies. "He's English. Not Irish. And don't call Irish people leprechauns, that's just... some weird kind've racist."

"They're white and ginger, who cares?" she says without a thought and rolls her eyes. "Not like I'm calling you the n-word or something." she retorts like it means anything and Mae takes a deep breath.

"I'm not black, I'm Hispanic." she clarifies with a more forceful voice.

"Well, it's not like I'm calling you a... what's a racist word for a Mexican?"

"I'm Spanish not..."

"Tacos? Burritos? IS that something? Beans! Wait, no... Mexican jumping beans, yeah. Wait... that's not it."

"I know what you're thinking and there's no reason to say it. What do you want?" she answers more curtly.

"To see Alfie. He won't be in today?"

"No." another flat response.

"What's he doing today? Where's he at? What's his deal?" her inquisition begins, waving her cup in the air as she speaks.

Mae sighs and goes back to her smoothie. "He's at home. I don't know what he's doing. That's his business and you should respect his space. He was clearly not interested when you talked to him yesterday."

"He's just playing hard to get. You know guys, they act like assholes and you just have to get them to like you by doing stuff for them and letting them make fun of you sometimes. It's all part of it. Not like you would know. Not like anyone's trying to get with you." she snaps back.

"No, but that's..." Mae lets out a  heavy sigh. "Whatever." she gives up and takes a noisy sip of her drink.

"So he lives with you?" Jessica says with a tilt of her head. "You said at home. If not where does he live, you probably have that on file for his employee records or something, right?" she asks , leaning over the counter.

"He does live with me." she decides to not address the clear violation giving an employees persona information would be as she figures it's pointless.

"Wait... so are you guys like a thing?" she says with a clearly disgusted look on her face.

"No. He's a friend of a friend, he's new in town and needed a place to stay and I had a spare room."

"I have a whole guest house if he wants to stay with me. Got a pool and a hot tub." she grins. "So let him know I've got a real house for him to stay at if he wants."

"Are you saying my house is abstract?" Mae chuckles to herself.

"What?" she says with a twist of her neck.

"Nothin'." Mae rolls her eyes.  "If you don't need anything I've got stuff to do... so..." she says, looking over at the tall blonde under her lashes.

"You were just standing here so SORRY... thought you had free time." she retorts.

"I just opened. I have to let the systems boot up." she explains with a deadpan delivery.

"Is he workin' tomorrow?" she asks, one hand on the counter.

"No, we're closed tomorrow."

"Then Monday then?"

"Maybe." Mae shrugs.

"He's your employee, why don't you know?" she bites back.

"Because he's new here and he might need off to run errands to get everything settled." she says offers up. "Not that it's any of your business." she mutters.

"You just let your employee take off like that? Not knowing if he'll work and he can just drive around town all day?" she asks seriously.

Mae sighs again and takes another drink, not answering as a pain grew between her eyes.

"I wanna work for you then, dang." she laughs, her mood shifting fast. "Oh my God, ARE you hiring? I'd be willing to get my hands dirty for that little... whatever he is."

"He's English." Mae rolls her eyes and lets out an exasperated sigh.

"Little... what do English people do? Drink?" she asks seriously.

"Jessica I'm not hiring and just... please go, I have things to do." Maw says with a clear tone of exasperation.

"Fine. But I'll be back on Monday to see Alfie." she sass's taking a long drink from her straw as she walks backward, keeping an eye on Mae who watches her bump into a shelf as she tries to look cool making her exit.

"Bye Jessica." Mae says shaking her head.

"Tell Alfie I said Hiiiiii." she says before leaving.

"What an idiot." Mae says rubbing her forehead.

With a thoroughly racist and rude conversation to start the day, the day only picks up speed from there. A phone call comes in, an irate customer claiming she'd sabotaged her party. An order that was entered incorrectly by the customer, a miscommunication of what sort of flowers they wanted in their arrangements. Mae didn't know how this woman had written down Black-eyed Susan's instead of sunflowers on her order sheet, or picking a Transvaal daisy over a  shasta daisy, but she was certain this woman was overreacting at how the arrangements ruined her church's barbeque. Mae had pictures of flowers next to the names of them in her big folder that sat on the top of the shop counter specifically for this reason. She gave the book to customers coming in to make orders and it wasn't her fault she filled out the order how it was written and what the woman wrote wasn't right. She couldn't read her mind. But still, she was blamed, getting dog cussed for all she was worth, the woman even bringing the Lord into it and telling her she'd had to refund her in full. Which was in no way happening. After you sign off on the delivery sheet, everything is final. No refunds. There was a chance to say they were wrong before she signed, that's why Mae set it up that way. But the woman wouldn't listen and Mae ends up just saying 'I'm Sorry.' to everything she says, taking the abuse.

The woman gives up eventually after a few people are waiting for her attention for the lunch rush. She works as fast as she can, but the line grows as a little old lady requires her undivided attention, asking about every flower, telling her stories about the flowers her husband used to bring her when he was alive. On a slow day Mae would've indulged her fully but with customers waiting behind her the stress was sky high.

She apologizes and leaves the lady to talk to herself, ringing out people as fast as she can while they give her dirty looks. She had great pride in being a good business owner and people thinking she was bad at her job made her a mess. A child that was with a negligent parent that had been waiting, knocks over a shelf of succulents, her biggest sellers, destroying the handmade pots she'd made for them. In all, the day was a total shit show.

She shuts the shop up and cries as she finally gets around to cleaning up the broken pieces of pottery, nestling her little friends into one big pot for the weekend to deal with on Monday. She apologizes to them and she feels they understand, her tears falling into the new soil as she sniffles and packs them in. She hesitantly throws away the shattered pieces of pottery, thinking off all the time she spent painting and glazing each, how much time and money lost on them. How she'd have to ask for half the price until she could make more holders for the plants. A personal and a professional loss all in one.

She doesn't even skate home as she usually would. She throws her skates in her oversized work bag and walks, her feet feeling as heavy as her heart. Everything about the day had drained her. Her body was tired, her chest hurt from a racing heart all day from embarrassment and anxiety. Her pride took a hit from the disappointed looks from the customers. She takes a heavy breath, hand on the doorknob, hoping that Alfie wasn't about to add to the bad day she'd had.

As soon as she opens the door, the feeling she'd left the house with hits her again. She wipes her tear stained cheeks, setting her bag down by the end of the couch, seeing everything clean and tidy with candles lit and the smell of food coming from the kitchen. The house smelled amazing, it somehow felt amazing, like getting into a hot bath after the end of a long day. The build of depression holds strong as she sees everything he's done for her while she'd been out.

"Hello Mae!" he calls out cheerfully. "Ya need help with anyfing?" he says, moving pots around the stove top. "Give me just a second love and I'll be right in to help ya." he calls out over his shoulder.

She comes around the corner, her face was sunken and clearly upset, taking in the sight before her. A kitchen filled with a home cooked meal for them both. She sees bread in the oven, lasagna sitting on the table as he switches off burners and pushes the rest of a chopped head of lettuce into a large salad bowl. A tin of muffin batter sits on a tea towel at the end of the counter. She gets a swirling feeling in her stomach. It builds quickly and she starts to sob, putting her head in her hands.

He turns, wiping his hands on a towel as his eyes grow large at the sight before him. Her glow was dull, her curls falling into her face as her hands with their yellow chipped polish covered her crying face.

"No, no love now that won't do." he says, moving quickly over towards her. He takes her into his arms without a moments hesitation. "Come here, little Mae." he coos out, holding her to him. As much as he may have wanted, he didn't have much healing magic to pass around, he wasn't really a healer so much as a destroyer of things. "Shhh, there, there, love." he pats his hand on her thick hair, the smell of her shampoo rising up as he leans his face in close. She feels the warmth around her, the soft-spoken kind words from this man who had swept in and taken care of her without expecting anything in return. She felt her chest thump, her stomach building again and more sobs are pushed out as she lets herself wrap her hands into his t-shirt and press her forehead against his chest.  

He wears a deep-set frown, not knowing what was wrong, her thoughts a roller coasting of emotions, totally unstable and making his dizzy when he tried to read them. Her magic and mind were working hard and fast and he knew something must've set off the sensitive little thing she was. "Now lovely, we can talk 'bout what's got ya upset, or we don't have to say nuffin'." he gives a nod, putting his hands to her shoulders to pull her away, taking a handkerchief that was older than her out of his pocket and giving it to her.

She wipes her eyes and blows her nose with a little toot of a sound that makes him smile as she sniffles, nose twitching like a little rabbit. "I just wanna eat and sleep." she answers, staring into his chest, not looking up at him. Her voice was small but she felt smaller. She fought the urge to tell him she didn't deserve all this special treatment, she didn't understand why someone would be doing all these nice things for her. No one else ever had. Her last caregivers, the ones who left her the house had been good people, but they never coddled her. They never cleaned for her, held her while she cried, stood up for her when others would try to bring her down. They'd always left her to her own devices. She'd never had anyone to treat her like something worth going the extra mile for. It was all a bit too much on her weak shoulders after the day she'd had.

"Well lemme finish up dinner and you go get comfy and cozy on the couch and I'll come get ya and we'll take care of that 'eatin' bit, eh?" he suggests, rubbing her upper arms as he spoke to her with a voice that she could feel warming her from the inside out. Her light tried to fight past the years of neglect to make her bloom and be able to draw from that endless well of love she had so she could give it to her herself and not just those around her. But she was still weak, and there was time to grow. So it settles, feeling it's mate so close and humming in wait with a baseline of contentment.

She takes one of the fuzzy throws on the couch and wraps it around her, grabbing one of her decorative pillows and wrapping her arms around it to try to get comfy for a moment. She falls asleep while the bread is baking, her body giving over to a much-needed recharge after the stress that the day put her through.

Alfie pulls the muffins out and lets them cool, wiping his hands and giving a nod to the first big meal he'd cooked in decades. Being alone there wasn't much of a reason to cook big and when the last group of people he ran with being musicians in the 90's, he'd never had a reason to cook for a group of people. But now he had plenty of reasons to dust off the old domestic skills that his mother and sisters had helped him learn. The baking was more familiar, as per his old cover for his criminal days, but the meals were what took the most focus. With Mae's plethora of fresh herbs to use, and come harvest time a garden full of fresh produce, he was sure cooking would be something he used to help both of them learn some new skills.

He ponders what he should cover with her the next day as he watches her sleep on the arm on the couch. A headful of curls on top of a fuzzy blanket, her lips smushed out against the pillow she clutched in her arms.

"Mae." he says gently, leaning in close, a hand to her arm to rub her awake. She grunts and puffs out air between her pink and pouted lips but doesn't wake. The softness of her makes him smile, he enjoys it a moment without having to worry about making her uncomfortable. The long dark lashes spread out over freckled cheeks, her full brows set in a scowl. All curled up under the blanket she looked so small, and he supposes compared to him she is. Standing just a bit over five feet tall he supposes, her shorter frame gives her a stocky and soft appearance. With round hips that only slightly narrowed into thick thighs, he sees her small feet sticking out from the covers. Yellow nail polish to match that on her fingers on her toes. It wasn't only her body, her hair or her sweet face with it's round, button nose that was soft but her heart was as well. He could feel her power humming quietly, even it was still timid. His darkness wants it to burst, to flow out of her as it can do within him. It wants to soak up that innocence, that sweet softness that she's made of. His closes his eyes, his darkness rumbling, soaking up her delicate heat into its cold center, Alfie feels his limbs tingle, a prickling warmness that only she could give to him.

He exhales slowly, a hand soft to her hair, pushing it back. "Mae." he says, moving to give her nose a gentle tap.

"Mmph." she grunts, nose twitching as he eyes flutter open and meet his before she sits up to straighten her back, rubbing her eyes.

"Dinner's ready, love." he says, standing back up straight.

"'Kay." she mumbles, sitting in a daze as she wakes.

He beams at her, a smile she doesn't see. "Come on to the table when ya ready." he suggests, moving to go set their places.

She plops into a chair, the sleep slowly leaving her body as she watches him move around the kitchen, a towel over his shoulder as he cuts and plates her food.

"Now 'is I learned from an Italian, yeah? Found a wonderful little market when I when shoppin' today 'n got fresh cheese." he says proudly. "I went 'n did some of your shoppin' as well while I's out. Got more cleanin' supplies since I used most of 'em today. Got the bathroom and the kitchen. Dusted and vacuumed." he nods casually while trying to recall everything he did, wanting to let her know what he'd been up to, letting her know he was useful to her. "Already watered and fed all the babies." he chuckles. "Although I think a few in the greenhouse could use a personal touch. Wasn't about to try it meself. I'd just mess up all your hard work. So I figured we could start wif those tomorrow hmmm? Start simple with somefin ya like."  He moves his eyes to hers and finds a puzzling look on her face. Her eyes give true meaning to the term puppy dog eyes. Her mouth is slack, partially open and her big hazel eyes are glimmering at him. Not tears yet, but the look in her eyes says lots of things. He feels that loneliness that resides in her throbbing stronger. He decides to switch the conversation. "I made the bread, eh? That flour you use is top notch, love." he tries giving her compliments but it doesn't seem to help. "Used some cherry tomatoes out of the greenhouse for the salad, hope ya don't mind. The muffins are ready as well, made 'em with blueberries I found at the grocery. Hope ya like those." he continues plating her food. He doesn't look at her face, not wanting to seem nosey as she was clearly going through something. But he sees big fat tears fall onto the table top and he can't stop himself. As soon as he makes eye contact, he sees her face much like a baby's, a trembling bottom lip, wet rosy cheeks rounded before her face contorted and she hid it in her hands. "Oh come now, little one." he says dropping the utensils and kneeling next to her. "What is it love?" he rubs her back gently in a circle, his palm tingled as he felt the chaos inside her. Mending her was going to be a very messy job.

"Why are you so nice to me?" she chokes out between sobs.

His chest aches, his face falling out of it's friendly and polite expression he'd held in place for her sake. "Oh Mae," he whispers, pulling her to his chest. "There, there." he shushes her. "Why would I not be nice to you? You've been nothing but nice to me." he explains. "You're my mate. Your well bein' is me own, I would only be hurtin' myself to not try to take care of you." He invades her privacy, shutting his eyes and trying to see what was causing all the trouble.

He feels the day she'd had. He sees a lifetime of abandonment and neglect. All the bullies growing up, all the hardships she was given to overcome from a young age. An absent father, a childhood spent in the system and an adult life of loneliness and rejection. Putting herself out there time and time again to be met by men who didn't care or understand. He didn't see the loneliness, he felt it. He felt her bed only ever being empty and cold, he feels her heart struggling to maintain it's one-sided giving when no one would replenish it. Her power touches him as he's washed in all this hurt she knows. The light shines within her. With his eyes shut he can see it, glowing like the sun on an overcast day, trying to break through the barrier of gloom that spread across it. He can feel it's tired, that it's just as lost as her. But he most importantly feels that it knows he's there, whether Mae knows or understands it herself. Her power knew better things were ahead for them and Alfie felt more certain he would protect and help this beautiful soul as long as he could.

"I just... No one's ever... I'm not used to it. It feels..."

"Like you don't deserve it." he finishes her thought, hearing it ring true in his own head for so long.

"Yeah," she says with a whimper, looking back up at him. "How did you?" she trails off, wiping her nose.

"Because I know it too." he nods, using his handkerchief to wipe at her face. "But it's not true. Don't listen to that voice. It's a liar." he says sternly. "You deserve the world, Mae. You are bright and full of love and good and the world needs that so very desperately. You deserve every bit of kindness that comes your way. Don't you dare think differently."

Her doe eyes blink up at him, never having heard something like that said to her before in all her almost thirty years. "I..." she begins, not knowing where to finish her thought.

"You just sit and think about that, yeah?" he gives her a nod. "Let's eat on the couch." he suggests. "We'll stop this cryin'. We'll go get cozy and we'll eat until we can't breathe and that'll make ya feel better. Watch somethin' ya like?"

She nods and swallows noisily.

"Good girl." he gives her back a pat before pulling away. "Now go get ya blankets and I'll grab the plates." he says with a self-assured tone.

She lowers her head, eyes on the ground as she gets them each a blanket. He gets everything else in order and they flip through Netflix together, large plates of food sitting on pillows in their laps.

"What do ya like, eh? Nature documentaries I bet." he suggests and she gives a small but enthusiastic nod as she sticks her fork into her lasagna.

They sit together, side by side, eating the towering plates of homemade food. Alfie talks over the narrators, sharing things he knew, but mostly making up his own narration in an attempt to make her smile. "Now 'is one ain't lookin' for a mate, he's lookin' for trouble. He thinks 'is one's been talkin' shit, yeah. By the looks of 'em I'd say he's right. Look at those little shifty beady eyes, ya can't get that look past me." he wags his finger at the TV and looks down to see her smiling after a tiny huff of a laugh escapes her. "There she is." he says proudly, giving her a nudge with his elbow. She looks up at him bashfully for a shared glance, before turning her face back to the tv with a tiny smile that told him she'd be just fine.

@jaegeeeeer @negansdirtygirl22 @brianaisasongbird @hardygal69 @emerald-bijou @captstefanbrandt @coolgh0st @tinastarkandco @stylishmileage  

[the-misadvntures-of-me]

Not Friends With Benefits:

An Excerpt: By Me: I love Tumblr

First of all, I would just like to encourage you to pray for my best friend Lydia.  That poor, poor soul.  We love her.  There's a reason the password to this page is 'not again'.  I'm stupid and for a moment there, though I thought I should delete that sentence because WHAT IF someone discovered my password.  Then I did a think.  OK MOVING ON.

The people in my life have come to appreciate how fucking problematic I am.  I really do think that if someone were to do a study on the human levels of problematic-ness, I would definitely receive some sort of Nobel Prize.  What an honor.  To quote my mother, "Things really DO seem to always happen to YOU huh."  Thanks, Sondra.  Through the course of reading through this wonderful Tumbler account, I'm sure you'll begin to understand why this was said about me.  To be completely honest, sometimes I amaze myself.  Like dang, what the heck bro.  But it's ok.  Good thing I'm an enneagram 4.  "The unicorn".  

I should know more shit about the enneagram now that I think about it.  I took a whole college class on it.  But haha nope.  I love being ADD.  I did do a lot of doodling.  I got better at my hand lettering, and honestly, that's the most important life lesson I got outa that.  Side note, my professor was a Dick and failed me.  I took it up with the board of directors, they saw my work, gave me an A, and fired him.  That made me feel better.  Another side note, I'm fantastic at getting teachers fired, as this was the third one.  A story for another time.  *Cough cough middle school Spanish*. #FuckDora #SraMooreTheExplorer #Perra(BITCH)

Hi so I'm also gey.

And on the autistic spectrum.

Fun times.  Whatta BOP.

Moving on. Yes oooh the fun title.  We love.  Title is a fun word, it reminds me of tits.  ^^^^^ ADD to the MAX right now, apologies.  No, I'm not chill with the idea of the big ol' FWB.  Friends With Benefits.  WooHoo.  I fucking love the world.  First of all, friends with benefits is DEFINITELY a sex thing.  Not about that sexy life.  Anymore heh.  So no, FWB is not a term in my pure-as-heck mind.  RIP.  God help me.

The whole idea of "friends with benefits" is just sad.  It's sketchy, lame, and pathetic.  Can't find love?  Lmao fake it bro.  Bored?  Fuck. Yeah.  Fun times.  But when I sat down the other day and started to think about it, because why not fam, I started to think about the social standards of the world.  So philosophical, I know.  If you think about it though, if you're not doing the whole sex thing, why not kiss your friend?  I mean, kissing is pheNOMenal.  Muy Bien.  *Hispanic Clap*.  *NakedMoleRatFace*. Why are social standards against kissing your homies?  If not them, why not your best friend?  Best friend as in - best guy friend in this case - but I mean if u gey u gey.

(I'm gey tho, but oh well.  Ish.  Yet again, a story for another time.  It doesn't apply here.  Lydia and I may be soulmates, but NAH bro.  None of that romance.  CAN'T A GEY CHICK HAVE A FEMALE BFF.  To clarify, because I'm not shutting up yet, I am bi.  Ish.  Not public or defined by a label necessarily because J E S U S.  Y'all need Jesus.  I need Jesus.  Sheesh.)

This once again brings me to my precious best friend and soul mate forever, Lydia.  I texted her this wonderfully philosophical question, and I received the eloquent response of, "God NO".  Once again, may I prompt you to remember the password for this page.  I have a track record for making terrible decisions and then casually THROWING THEM at Lydia.  "Can one casually make out with their guy best friend" really is a great way to add some fun FIRE to any conversation.  I highly recommend.

The thing is, this is not hypothetical because who am I kidding, I'm STUPID.  :). Hehe RIP.

SO, we had a wonderful conversation full of ups and downs and highs and lows and poor, 17-year-old Lydia, once again, needing to play the role of my mother.  She may be younger than me, but that girl has 20 years of wisdom on me.  I am a heavenly fetus of bad decisions.  YES, FINE, MAYBE I casually made out with my guy best friend.  Big whoop.  This was the event that prompted my wonderfully philosophical question, and the fantastically engaging conversation I had with Lydia.  To be blunt here, what the fuck are social standards anymore?  I mean, a fat man can run into the street in a leotard and a wig and proclaim he's a female, and boom.  He sure as fuck is.  So WHAT is the big deal with me *casually* making out with my guy best friend?

For a few days, I decided to once again casually slip this question into my conversations, and the results really did shock me.  People who openly supported the LGBTQXYZ community, (and were okay with the idea of the fat leotard wig man) were absolutely appalled when I brought up this idea of friend-kissing.  The irony.  I'm not hating against the community, once again, BI AS FUCK. But still.  I wasn't expecting their response at all.  I do, however, understand their response.  Not the leotard man response, but the aversion-to-kissing-your-friends response, because that’s not friends with benefits... right?

This is a reflection that will be continued later, as I am tired.

[trebaolsmovingcastle]

@brimleymuffins

Thanks for the write-up. re: Your tags, I completely agree. I lived in China for a year and a half, completely with its own set of issues, but sometimes you did have to stop and say, ‘hey, that’s kinda fucked up, full stop’.

Yeah, I get the impression that sometimes that ‘don’t project your liberal western ideals’ thing is co-opted by anime fans or apologists trying to wiggle out of what is clearly a completely fucked up worldview.

I mean, we fucked Japan right up post war...we fucked up Japan pre-war bad too. Japan basically tried to play at being America or Britain, and ended up on the wrong side of history, Japan sometimes tries to get this as a pass saying ‘you guys were awful, we just wanted to keep up so we wouldn’t get conquered by you.’ and it’s like...yeah, we’re awful, and in a perfect world that would have more dramatic consequences than me sitting here being perfectly aware that my country has committed war crimes it isn’t being taken to trial for and not having any recompense for that.

I don’t know, there’s a lot in Japanese media that’s fucked up...and a lot that is FUCKED UP but also retains some semblance of artistic or creative merit. I’ve been struggling with Berserk lately, because ultimately I kinda like Berserk, but that’s probably more to do with how I like stories centering on nightmare realities where humanity is subject to cosmic horrors that are indifferent to us and especially those stories where someone tries to get past it, or overcome what is in effect a nearly impossible ordeal. The problem is that Berserk’s world is so awful, so just completely terrible, and foul, and gross...it’s really hard to defend or treat as a serious work. However, Berserk has begotten Dark Souls and Bloodborne, and the creator of those Hidetaka Miyazaki is a brilliant world builder and storyteller, who basically loves Berserk and was inspired to make his own media that’s brutal and at times gross...but is more approachable and tells a great story...but it exists because of this other really grim and intense story.

But...then you come west, and you have the boardgame that made more money on Kickstarter than anything ever Kingdom Death: Monster...and it basically receives a ton of flack for being incredibly gross, violent, and misogynistic. I tried the game the other day, and it’s fun, it’s a monster hunting, civilization building, choose your own adventure, narrative board game that is really well put together and very engaging...but the guy is functionally just lifting Berserk’s whole style and feel...and adding anime titty girls to the mix. It’s difficult to explain, because I like this boardgame, and I see the direct connection to Berserk...but this game and its creator feel like cheap imposters who happened to make a really great system, but missed the underlying conceits of Berserk and that style of story. I don’t know how to explain it...

It’s like...Berserk begats all of From Softwares games (Dark Souls, Demon Souls, Bloodborne) and also begats one of the biggest kickstarters of all time Kingdom Death: Monster...but whereas From Softwares stuff has a fantastic depth and analytical value to it, and Berserk clearly is important because a lot of media has tried to ape it and use it’s style and world feel...this board game, made by westerners, for a western audience...is really technically proficient and engaging...but it feels horribly tainted and wrong. It doesn’t help that the game creator regularly stands by the foulness of things in it as ‘if you’re offended get bent, it’s a fantasy world.’ I mean...even the world in it only works because it is so completely curbed from Berserk.

I’ve just been kicking around a lot of stuff lately about these things, Japanese media, western media, these games...why in some cases it feels easier to defend or at least appreciate one, but others it feels like there’s really no leg to stand on? I guess in Berserk it’s not expressly meant to titillate, the author isn’t regularly creating characters and art it seems with the express intent to say ‘look at this sexy shit in hereeeeee...LOOK AT THEM TITTIES, LOOK AT THIS FAT TIT CURVY TITTY SLAAAAVE’ whereas the creators behind this boardgame have completely poisoned their well by literally being like ‘you dig this nightmare world...what if we TITTY IT UP...YOU WANT SOME BIG ASS DANG OL’ HUGE ANIME TIDDIES AND A BIG PENIS MONSTER JUST READY TO GOBBLE THEM TITTIES RIGHT UP?!’ Like...my dude, you did fine making a horror monster hunting game in a blighted hellscape...why’d you have to do the warhammer thing and mistake your ideas source material as somehow a positive thing to experience.

[abnormalasphyxiation]

Damn what a night!

Emma giggles helplessly, being carried back to the van in Seth's arms. Her arms are around his neck, head leaned back grinning like a fiend.

She had the time of her life; dancing, drinking, a lil making out~ She has almost totally forgotten the fight that broke out at the club.

Seth hadn't, slight sour expression on his face as he trudged through the night. He wasnt mad at *her*, even if it was her fault he couldn't find it in himself to stay mad. No he was still boiling from the douchebag who had to go flapping his lips and ruin the whole evening.

It was going so well. Emma had a little extra scratch, wanted to have some fun and cut loose. What, was Seth going to just turn that down? Hell no, that sounded fucking amazing.

A few shots in, she's feeling good. *Real* good. And what else can a girl do when she's feelin herself and the beat besides lapdance the shit out of your hot guyfriend you brought with you?

So that's what she did! Music pouding in her chest, hair down and everywhere, she straddled that boy and danced like he was throwing money at her.

Seth, of course, was enjoying this display. Not that he would have been complaining if she had been some random club girl up on him like this but...it's nice to see Emma have fun.

Until some creep came along, slapping her ass and pulling her away.

He was clearly fucking hammered, slurring something about

"Hey pass that slut over here"

And pulling her onto his own lap.

Seth sat up, all the fun and laughs leaving his eyes replaced with pure rage. He looked at Emma, who was in clear distress, trying to pull away from the guy's grabby hands.

What came next is easy to guess.

Seth rips Emma away, a slight pang of fear that he might have hurt her but...he'll take care of her later. Right now his only concern is jacking this dickhead up.

It wasn't hard. This guy was compeltely gone and Seth is just so so strong. ~~And handsome~~

Dude *may* not have gotten it so bad if he hadn't kept running his mouth and added in another 'sharing' comment. As if she were a thing, something to just be passed around.

What the fuck. Fuck that dude.

Of course the brawl got them kicked out, and now they were here. Seth had scooped her up, now more sober than he'd like to be, and made sure she got home safe.

He fumbles around in her pocket for the keys, and gently lays her down on thw makeshift bed in the back. She's still all giggles, now pecking kisses at his cheek as he tries to detach her.

It's very fucking cute.

"Em. *Em*. You gotta let go, I wanna get out of these clothes. 'N you too. You smell like a fucking daiquiri"

He's trying to be assertive, get them undressed so he can sleep off this black eye, but the more small smooches she places on him most of that anger starts melting away.

"Nnnnoooo~ I want you to pay attention to meeee~" Dang those shots hit her hard, but finally after a minute Seth is able to slip her clingy little arms off and nestle her down.

He makes quick work of his shirt, tossing it in a laundry basket off to the side. Awkwardly he shimmies out of his pants, Emma whistling as she scopes his ass. Nice.

"Alright alright, come here ya lush." He chuckles too now kneeling before her, pulling her up a little to unzip her dress and slide it off.

Emma playfully covers her exposed tiny tits, faking a blush.

"Oh please sir, don't look at me~ I'm just a helpless little damsel"

Okay maybe she does remember the fight. In fact, it's all she's thought about the whole walk home. He didn't even...question standing up for her. He just did it. He always comes to her rescue. *That* thought does make her go a little more pink, grinning like a dummy.

Seth laughs off the comment, tossing her dress with his clothes, and flops down to pull her into a cuddle which she happily accepts. Fuck he's exhausted.

What a night~ The phrase cycles through her head, staring up at the tapestries on the ceiling and trailing down to his freckled arm around her. It's such a secure feeling. He's so strong yet so soft, always the perfect amount of pressure and warmth. She always had trouble sleeping but ever since he hopped in her van and never looked back...well she looks forward to crawling into bed.

He pulls her closer, burying his face in her hair, just wanting to pass out and get out of this stupid city the next day. Fuck this place.

He groans in protest as Emma wiggles in his grip, rolling to look at him. Those big ol brown eyes, glittering in the fairy light, peer at him as if searching for something.

She looks...serious?

"What?" He asks, tiredness soaking his words.

The serious expression drops, that dumb grin returning and she pops up quickly to smash their lips together.

Okay...he's not complaining too much. Yeah he's exhausted but, she tastes like peaches! He kisses back, a hand raising to rub the back of her head affectionately.

Pulling away, Emma presses their foreheads together looking totally drained of energy herself. Her eyes are half lidded, her smile looks groggy, and if he weren't holding her she'd be swaying.

He's about to give her one more quick kiss before making her tired ass lay back down...when she says it.

"I love you~"

It's almost hard to catch, but once he processes it he chuckles and shakes his head.

"Yeah yeah. I like you too, Em. Lay down I'm fuckin tir-"

"Nooo" she bonks their foreheads together softly, whining. "You...saved me~ you like...you alwaysh save me..." another kiss in between words, now gazing into his eyes. "Seth...I fucking loooooove you~hehehe"

Oh boy, there's another giggle fit, falling back into his arms.

"I love you...I love you so much...I'm so happy you're here..."

Her words are slurred, now nuzzling into him, last of her energy spent.

Seth sits there, now NOT very tired kinda staring down at her.

Did she just confess? Her love? Did she MEAN it? It sounded like it, but...

He shakes her a little, pushing her hair out of her face. "Emma, do you...what are you saying?" She's just drunk right? They're just friends with really good benefits! He heard her wrong, right?

"I loooove you...~" her words are so soft, mumbled off sleepy lips, hands wiggling to find him and gently caress his skin as if she couldnt sleep without being as close as she could.

And with that...she's out, leaving Seth laying awake in the echoes of her confession.