#that awkward moment when all the animals we call shrimp are actually not shrimp

[montereybayaquarium]

Shellebrate good brine come on! It's Shrimp Week!! 🎉🦐

[ontheoddoccasioniwritestuff]

Seahorse (Spencer Reid x Trans Male!Reader) NSFW

Summary: Spencer and Y/N have always wanted kids. Here’s the time Spencer was brave enough to broach the subject of how they would go about it. Plus a few more times after that.

AN: @imagining-in-the-margins​ came up with the idea of Spencer’s trans bf having a baby amidst man many many prompts for Spencer x male!reader to indulge my daydreaming and I ran with this prompt. 

Thank you to @writing-in-april​ for being my beta on this one! Couldn’t have done it without you, beebs <3

This is the NSFW version. If you are under the age of 18, please do not read! Here’s a SFW version of the story.

Word Count: 5.7k words 

Content Warnings: Trans man is pregnant, coming off testosterone, impregnation kink, pre-op sex, allusions to Prison!Spencer.

Masterlist // Gif Credit // SFW Version

The halls echoed with the unbridled joy of little ones calling out “Nemo” and “Dory” at the sight of the clown and surgeon fishes. Spencer bounced on the balls of his feet as he looked around the next room in search of his goal. He stopped when Y/N spared a look in his direction, away from the tank that had captured his attention for a solid five minutes.

“JJ sent me a video of a shrimp solving a Rubik’s Cube the other day.” He grinned.

Ah yes. JJ had also sent Spencer a video of little Henry swinging a mini softball bat about just like Spencer had done. For one game and one game only he had insisted, despite Y/N’s own resolve that he looked hot in the kit.

The walk through the tunnel was the slowest slog Spencer felt, but it was the only attraction in the aquarium to properly distract him. Lights above them filtered through the water, bouncing off the painted walls of the tank in a blue glow. Various species in a perfectly balanced ecosystem swam around one another without a care in the world. A particular stingray flapped its body against the glass, and three children nearby laughed at its funny shaped mouth.

“I used to sit on my mum’s shoulders when we walked through these. Touch the ceiling as if I could pet the fishes.” And Y/N’s hands stretched up over him, his eyes following a shark that slinked overhead, “When I got too old, I’d just press my nose against the glass and stare back.”

Nerves returned at the sight of a circular tank in the centre of the room holding something familiar. Seahorses curled their tails around the plants that waved together like a crowd at a concert. Little babies bobbed about the parents, translucent and wriggly.

Spencer coughed and spoke while Y/N took in the creatures, “Did you know that the seahorse is the only animal where the male carries the children?”

Suddenly his throat was dry; the words he’d been rehearsing dragged to a halt. Y/N turned to face him properly, guiding Spencer to the left as a little girl stood on tiptoe to see the seahorses as he continued to struggle.

“Well, that might not be true actually.” Spencer choked a little on his words, his voice’s volume steadily declining into a soft whisper, “I know that some human men can have babies.”

Y/N’s face clouded with doubt for a moment. Then it clicked and his face cleared, “Spencer, tell me what you’re getting at.”

Spencer twisted his hands around one another, “Have you ever thought about us having kids… biologically?” He watched Y/N’s Adam’s apple dip as he swallowed hard

“You mean like me being pregnant?”

“Yes, have you considered it an option for us?”

The conversations of other aquarium patrons were forgotten as Y/N took his gaze away from Spencer. His eyebrows were low as he considered his words carefully. Y/N always thought about the implications of what he was saying, maybe a little too much. Spencer could be biased though; his impatience did not mix well with his anxieties.

Eventually, Y/N turned back with a brave face and said, “I’d have to think about it some more.”

“Ok.” Spencer nodded, his chin wobbling a little.

There was hope though: he needed to think “some more”. Implying Y/N had thought about this before.

Near the end of their trip, Spencer did find himself in a staring contest with a little seahorse plushie with large eyes and an anatomically inaccurate tongue hanging out. In all honesty, it was kind of ugly.

“Spencer, come on. You know how I get around stuffed animals.”

How empathetic his boyfriend really was, projecting feelings of love onto the inanimate objects then making the excuse that he had to buy it now.

Spencer did have to leave the toy behind though. Out into the sunlight of the parking lot, he winced before he put his sunglasses back on.

“Park?” Y/N offered his hand and smiled. It was an olive branch, something to say that Spencer’s query had not ruined their day out together.

Spencer accepted and squeezed his hand. “Park.”

---> ---> ---> ---> --->

 Standing in front of the bathroom mirror, Y/N had a hand on their lower belly, some space between the fingers as if there was an invisible bump there to accommodate. His head had tilted while he thumbed over the air.

As drowsy as Spencer was from work, his mind was focused without a distraction on what he had seen through the ajar bathroom door. He could barely pay attention to the Doctor Who episode Y/N put on. In fact, he doubted anything could take his attention away from the idea of having a child with-

“What do you think about me being pregnant?”

Spencer’s eyes shot wide open, then they were covered slightly by his inquisitive eyebrows in his attempt find an answer. Especially with Y/N looking on him while he waited for him.

“I think you’d be so beautiful carrying our baby. But if you wouldn’t be comfortable, then I wouldn’t make you. We still have surrogacy, fostering, adoption to consider,” was his answer. Never a lie, but the truth was always softened.

Seemingly satisfied, Y/N looked back at the episode. But Spencer couldn’t wait anymore, forgetting about anything else in the world except for this.

“What do you think, Y/N?” His body leant in towards his boyfriend’s.

Squirming in their spot on the couch, Y/N hummed before he answered, “I froze some of my eggs before I started my transition. I also sold some, for a down payment on a house or my wedding.”

Spencer’s heart thrilled at the possibilities. A house together? Matching suits at their wedding? He almost neglected to think about the fact that pregnancy was suddenly a very viable option for their future.

Regardless of Spencer’s many, many thoughts, Y/N continued, “And I thought that perhaps, if I found the right person, I would like to carry their child.” His palm opened up to him and Spencer instantly took it. “I know you’re the right person, but I’m not sure I want a baby now.”

“Of course,” Spencer lifted Y/N’s hand to his lips, “Whenever we’re both ready.”

---> ---> ---> ---> --->

Spencer pushed the dirty bedsheets into the washing machine; it wasn’t that big a deal. If the blood didn’t come out, then they could always buy a new set. Although they should really be saving money for decorating the nursery.

“Spenceerrrr.”

As the machine rumbled into life, Spencer returned to Y/N, curled up on the sofa with a heat pad to his gut. No amount of warnings from their doctor could have prepared Spencer for how emotionally straining it was to see his boyfriend suffering. Y/N was taking this a lot harder than Spencer – and rightfully so, it was his body that was changing.

“Why did I have to have such strong paternal instincts?” He grumbled with his eyes still closed.

Spencer let out a laugh, but it was cut off quick when Y/N whimpered loudly. He knelt down before him and cupped his face. Y/N’s cheeks were warm; his hands clung to Spencer’s wrists like a lifeline.

“What do you need?” Spencer asked softly and Y/N sighed, keening into his cooler palms.

“Can you tell me I’m handsome please?”

“You are the most handsome man in the world, and I adore you every minute of every day.” Spencer kissed Y/N’s pouting lips gently, “Handsome inside and out, I never wanna think about life without you. You just make everything in my life better.”

His fingers moved to brush away a tear that slipped down Y/N’s face and over the ridge of his nose. But he missed and it dripped onto the pillow.

“You’re doing so much for us, for our baby.”

“It’s not even real yet,” Y/N sniffled. His hands finally released Spencer and pressed the heat pad into him.

“It’s gonna be.” Spencer bumped their noses together, “We’re gonna be dads.”

A hoarse laugh met with a hint of a groan in Y/N’s chest, “Yeah. We’re gonna be dads.” That sound and those words were all Spencer needed to feel better. But he wished the same could be said for Y/N. The only thing he could provide was a promise of future relief:

“How about we order in tonight?”

“Ugh, yes.” Y/N burrowed his face into the pillow.

When their bed was made up properly, Spencer and Y/N cuddled together. Unfortunately, Y/N was restless, trying to find a comfortable position while his painkillers kicked in. Spencer kept his complaints to himself, allowing himself to be shifted around in Y/N’s hunt for relief. Honestly it was the least he could do.

---> ---> ---> ---> --->

“The reproductive process begins when a male and a female seahorse do daily pre-dawn dances, intertwining their tails and swimming together.”

“Well, it’s nearly nine, so definitely past dawn.”

“I��m trying to be romantic, Y/N.”

Y/N adjusted the bed sheets around his middle, “We don’t have tails either and - if I remember correctly - your last sexy swimming encounter ended poorly.”

Spencer flushed at the memory of Lila in the pool; another memory turned the pink to red. Y/N had laughed so hard his gut ached when Spencer told him about how awkward he had been around Lila. This was before the context of the case had been disclosed, promptly removing the space for any more laughter.

“Baby?”

Y/N was touching his face. Spencer’s head emptied itself of all thoughts of Lila. This was not what he wanted to be thinking about right now. Y/N’s laughter maybe, but none of the rest.

Tucking a curl behind his ear, Y/N leant in close, “If I’m ready, and you’re ready, you know what happens.” His eyes wandered down Spencer’s face, “And it’s not swimming together.”

But, just as their lips were about to touch, Y/N jerked away from him. “Wait, I gotta brush my teeth first.”

Spencer moaned with indignation while falling backwards onto the bed as Y/N disappeared from view. A few seconds later, he heard the electric toothbrush buzzing. With a burst of energy, he stripped himself down to his underwear – a petty way to get back at Y/N who had made it very clear that undressing Spencer was one of his favourite parts of their sex life.

When Y/N returned, with the minty freshness he apparently desired more than his own boyfriend, he said “What? You already did this morning?”  His eyes looked down at Spencer’s chest and his lips twitched into a pout. 

Spencer held back his grin, keeping his triumph at retaliation to himself as he said, “I wouldn’t have minded.”

“That’s the biggest lie I’ve ever heard, Spencer.”

And with that, Y/N crawled onto the bed, over Spencer’s body and kissed him silly.

Any remaining thoughts of sleep were dispelled as the men took turns worshipping each other’s bodies. Impatience chased them in their desires, deliciously enticing them to push the pleasure further and faster. While Y/N kissed his neck, Spencer’s thoughts fixated on how perfect his boyfriend felt pressed up next to him. He couldn’t wait anymore, he just had to get inside him.

“Let me put a baby in you, Y/N.”

A whine passed through Y/N’s lips at his words as he adjusted his grasp on Spencer’s body, a hand in his hair to pull him back in.

“Do it.” He whispered into the space between them, “Please.”

As quick as they appeared, the insecurities Spencer and Y/N were holding released. Their moans harmonised when Spencer finally pushed into Y/N. His legs wrapping around his skinny waist, luring him in. Spencer was enraptured by the feeling of his boyfriend’s weight against him. God, he wanted to go slow, appreciate Y/N for all he was worth. But his greed got the better of his intentions, eating up all of Y/N’s encouragements – both the words and the noises snatched from his throat.

When they were both spent, Spencer and Y/N sagged into the mattress, wrapped up in each other and the covers. The burning warmth of their bodies drew up two soporific smiles on their faces.

“You know, a seahorses’ body shape means that they’re inept swimmers, and they can actually die of exhaustion.”

Y/N poked Spencer’s sternum. “Is that your way of makin’ fun of my stamina? Give me a few minutes; I’ll be on you like a rash.”

Grinning at such a prospect, Spence continued, “They also mate for life monogamously.”

He felt two fingers touch his cheek, "Spencer, I love you and your endless fountain of knowledge.” Y/N paused to peck the corner of his lips, “But I’m not actually a seahorse. And, though I do plan to mate with you for life, if you wake me up before the sun is above the horizon for a ‘dance’, I'm gonna suffocate you with my new body pillow.”

“Oh, you got your pillow?”

“It’s en route.” Hence why Y/N was content to use Spencer in lieu of said pillow.

---> ---> ---> ---> --->

When Spencer disclosed to Hotch that he would need some time off because he and Y/N were considering having a kid, first thing on a Monday morning, Hotch didn’t let anything on. There was a hint of a hint of a smile though. His eye wandered to the school photo of Jack he kept on his desk, and he was greeted with the memory that Jack almost shared a name with Emily’s cat.

Naturally, Rossi found out next. Technophobe Spencer Reid had left his computer screen on a website for baby blankets, and Rossi had been the one to pass by first. After turning the monitor off, Rossi took Spencer aside in the break room and spoke about how wonderful it was that he was going to be a father. Then he kissed both his cheeks, leaving with misty eyes and a smile that he wouldn’t explain to Penelope passing by. Spencer blinked then finished making his coffee.

The next conference room meeting – the same day and just for an update on the paperwork deadline - Spencer simply decided to drop the information that he and Y/N were planning on having a kid as if it was his thoughts on their next unsub’s motivations were.

Three seconds of silence later and an uproar exploded.

From then on, the week was filled with pokes and ribbing at his upcoming parenthood. A peek into the future.

After making her a cup of coffee, Spencer sat opposite JJ at her desk and asked for advice. Her response: offering Spencer the opportunity to babysit Henry more. Obviously he accepted; more time with his godson was always a good thing. Then she went into how parenting was just a natural thing that he would know when the time came. Not very reassuring on its own, but with his best friend’s support, Spencer felt a smidgen better.

Penelope admitted that she had saved outfit ideas on Pinterest for Spencer – among other members of the BAU. When Spencer dared to enter her lair, she showed him several. Apparently that wasn’t even a dent in her collection, and she had already placed an order on a little bow tie. Spencer left before she tried to organise a shopping trip; neither Spencer nor Y/N were really fans of retail therapy.

Derek was teasing away, “Spencer and Y/N are gonna be baby daddies.” And every single time, Emily would join in. She liked to claim she was the reason Spencer was having a kid, reminding him of when JJ was pregnant. He had been incredibly weirded out by the baby kicking, but Emily had asked if he had considered having “baby geniuses” and he never gave an answer.

To be fair, Spencer never could have seen this coming. That made it all the better.

Apart from when Derek began supplying a realm of baby names, that varied from “oh that’s actually cute” to “oh my god, why would you even consider that a name for a real child?” Spencer was happy to rank them aloud for him.

The cat was only half out of the bag though.

Now Spencer had always been affectionate when he and Y/N were together. But the second it spilled into their public lifestyle, Y/N knew something was afoot. He was quick to pick up on this when he went to collect Spencer up for a chilled date night and Spencer kissed his cheek in clear view of the entire bullpen.

“You told them, didn’t you?”

“I couldn’t wait, but I do have my paternity leave arranged!”

The team swarmed to deliver their congratulations. And it was then that they revealed that they all thought that Spencer and Y/N were planning to adopt or look for a surrogate. Their embraces didn’t spoil the unexpected second part of their announcement; Y/N looked like he’d simply put on a few pounds rather than gained a baby bump beneath his button-up. Naturally, there was even more of a hubbub than before when they discovered that Y/N was already pregnant.

---> ---> ---> ---> --->

“Spencer, baby, you gotta calm it with the ocean theme.”

“But…” he pouted, holding up the finished mobile. Brightly painted sea creatures and chunks of coral dangled delicately in a circle. Sure enough, there were orange seahorses hovering about their habitat.

“It’s very sweet and I adore you for it,” Y/N kissed Spencer. “Not everything has to be related to seahorses though.”

“I guess not.” Spencer’s defeated tone did not last long. His face brightened and he whipped a blanket adorned with little seahorses and bubbles at the edges out of the cot. “But - this online store was taking commissions, and you always say support small businesses!”

Thank god Y/N had been the one in charge of painting the walls. An underwater mural would have been a step too far.

“You, Doctor Spencer Reid, are so…” Y/N’s hands were up in the air between them, searching for an adjective to describe Spencer appropriately. Then he settled those hands on his shoulders and Y/N kissed him.

When they drew away, Spencer spoke, “I’m so what?”

Y/N shrugged, “Just so.” He kissed him again, lingering longer than before and smiling as Spencer’s hands touched the obtrusive roundness of his belly that pressed into Spencer’s stomach. They were so close to meeting their little bubba.

“So are you.”

“Ok, don’t have a go, I bought this before the ban,” Y/N held out a gift, wrapped in sea-green tissue paper and bearing a blue bow.

Folding the blanket neatly over the bars of the cot, Spencer eagerly yet daintily unwrapped the present. As the tissue paper fell to the carpet, his hands trembled.  Eyes shining, he couldn’t bring himself to look away from the latest scan that was framed by tiny seahorses to thank Y/N.

There was more still, as Y/N explained, “There’s another behind there. I’ve seen the state of the one in your wallet.”

“It got caught at the bottom of the pouch,” Spencer said quietly, unbending the catch on the back of the frame. Sure enough, two of the same photographs spilled into his waiting palm. Truth be told, Spencer had already taped his torn photo together again and it was going to stay in his wallet. This spare would be in the post soon, on its way over to his mother. God, she was so excited to hold a baby again. The photo album would have to do for now.

“Could you maybe recant the ocean ban? Because I saw this and I knew it would really go well with the blanket and the mobile.”

Sighing, Y/N’s head tilted back, “What is it?”

The pretence of annoyance couldn’t be maintained towards Spencer’s face beaming back at him as he held up a wonky looking seahorse plushie. It wasn’t the same one he’d seen before. Some heartfelt child had taken pity on that one and given it a forever home. No, this was a perfect little present for his bubba.

Y/N thought so too as he let a grin settle onto his face.

“Ok, we can keep this one. But no more from now, alright?”

“I suppose. Besides, our baby isn’t our seahorse. You are!”

“You better not buy us a fish tank for my birthday.” A spike of nerves hit Y/N when he couldn’t quite catch Spencer’s eye to confirm his word. “Spencer? Promise me... Spencer!”

---> ---> ---> ---> --->

“How are you feeling, Baby Daddy?” Derek hugged Y/N who was reclined in his bed. His body pillow propped him up for his visitors.

Y/N wrinkled his nose, “For once, I wish I was a real seahorse and I could have just sneezed her out.”

Katia Nikola Reid definitely looked like she’d been sneezed on when she first entered the world, screaming her teaspoon-sized lungs out. Named after a hero of both Y/N and Spencer, one day old, bundled in a blanket, she scowled at Spencer’s dopey face looming over her while Emily held her tight.

A hoard of presents huddled in the corner of Spencer and Y/N’s bedroom. Emily thought it’d be a great idea to bring the baby an Ikea shark that was bigger than the child – and would definitely take up around half of her cot.

“She’s already got him wrapped around her pinky finger.”

“Yes, she does,” Spencer agreed giddily.

Next, Derek took her in his arms, untucking her arms from the blanket swaddle to give her a fist bump. He swayed her about the room while Katia relaxed a little more. The deep humming in his chest soothed the wrinkles on her forehead. Katia stretched as if to touch his face, and her mouth gaped at him.

“Aww, baby genius is ready for a nap.” Derek yawned too, “Who’s gonna micromanage me while I put her down?”

“Me! Me!” Y/N said, his enthusiasm muted by tiredness. Spencer leapt to his side, helping him out of bed, his teammates watching fondly as he did so. Y/N was allowed out the room first, Derek close behind and clicking his tongue at little Katia.

“She’s so sweet,” Emily said, her eyes on the pair’s backs and the dangling loose blanket from under Derek’s left arm. “I’m so happy for you both.” And she hugged Spencer tight; Emily always gave such good hugs. Good thing she was going to be around to give plenty to his daughter.

Then, down the hall, he heard Derek say with sarcastic resignation, “Oh Spencer, I thought Y/N was kidding when he said no more seahorse themed items.

---> ---> ---> ---> --->

Y/N ended up climbing into the bathtub with Katia. Even as she had grown into her chubby features, looking more and more like him and Spencer with each passing day, she was still so small.

Sitting up with her in his lap to help her out, Y/N lowered her into the warm water. His fingers tenderly rubbed the blackcurrant scented soap on her tummy, copying her expression as her tongue poked out between her gums. Her jerking legs rejected the water that Y/N’s hands cupped to rinse the bubbles off.

“Oh!” Y/N said in surprise as Katia sneezed, “Bless you.”

He heard the front door go, but he let Spencer follow the clues to their bathroom. Sure enough, the Doctor soon entered with his jacket shed, already rolling his sleeves up as he dropped onto the bathmat. A hand curled at Y/N’s chin as he kissed him before it stroked over the damp wisps of hair on Katia’s head.

“Hello. Hi.” His voice was that bit more delicate as he caught Katia’s eye and welcomed her big gappy smile.

Y/N tilted his head towards Spencer. “Good first day back?”

“I missed you both.” Spencer swished the water around by Katia’s side, “Isn’t it incredible how she’s experiencing all of this for the first time?”

“Oh, for fuck’s sake.”

Spencer giggled away as the surrounding bathwater yellowed and Katia flapped her arms.

“Mind your language.” He said without any weight to his warning, “Our little girl can’t help it.” Then he stood and prepared her towel, a deep-sea blue that brought out her eyes. “Can I feed her tonight?”

“Of course, baby,” Y/N agreed as he lifted Katia out of the tub, where Spencer caught her and bundled her up with skilled speed. As he dried her off, Katia cooed away to herself. She did get a little pissed off when he dressed her up in a clean nappy and a sleepsuit, but Spencer couldn’t take her crumpled expression seriously without the tears.

The rocking chair had to be one of his best investments for his daughter’s room. It soothed Katia from the darkest of tantrums, a familiarity that swayed her. She fit so perfectly into Spencer’s arms and he fit so contentedly into the seat. Her eyelashes fluttered slowly shut as she drank more milk.

Not quite strong enough to sit up on her own, Katia leant fully into Spencer’s hand while he burped her – thankfully not for long. Then it was off into her cot.

Y/N watched him from the doorway as Spencer stroked the apple of Katia’s cheek while she drifted off into slumber. An effortless smile danced on his lips even as he switched the lamp off and welcomed Y/N over to see their sleeping babe.

“Love seeing you with her, Old Daddy Spencer teaching her everything she’ll need to know.” The kiss that followed was certainly not appropriate for their daughter’s nursery, so he took Y/N by the hand, leading him into the hallway. Even then, between the short pecks that pressed against his lips, Y/N continued to talk, “Is this how you felt while I was pregnant?”

Breath hot against his face, Spencer swallowed hard while Y/N said, “Seeing my handsome boyfriend carrying our child? I think I get it now.”

His hand slipped up Spencer’s shirt. It was crystal clear what his intentions were. Spencer was already close to panting when he pulled Y/N flush against him. With more desperation this time, they fumbled around their home until they made it to their bed. Spencer’s hands aligned with the stretch marks on Y/N’s thighs as he grabbed them and pulled him on top.

He huffed as Y/N’s teeth tugged and released his bottom lip, “We have to be quiet.”

“I can be quiet.” Y/N ripped off his shirt in one smooth movement, “Can you?”

Spencer couldn’t give an answer. Instead he pulled Y/N back against him as they fell onto their sheets.

Their first time in months, it didn’t last very long, but it was exactly what they needed.

 ---> ---> ---> ---> --->

 The biggest surprise of the evening was that Rossi put down his drink to hold Katia. To be fair though, he had already had a few. Hence why he was singing and dancing around the garden with Katia in his arms. What a sight to behold, it eased the pain of Derek and Hotch’s absence, their own kids to take care of now.

Eventually Rossi relented, allowing Penelope to take Katia, turning to Y/N who had kept a watchful eye on his actions, “Promise me you’ll bring her over when she’s allowed to eat food.”

“I can’t give her your food for her first taste. She’ll be disappointed for the rest of her life,” Y/N joked, Rossi letting out a boisterous laugh that made Katia giggle in turn.

Penelope got to hold Katia next and show her off to Henry who was very intrigued to learn more about his godsister – Spencer told him that was who Katia was and it stuck. Henry became Penelope’s little shadow until they found a seat for him and a cushion for his lap to hold the baby. His joy unbridled at such a responsibility was adorable. He posed for many photos, while Katia for once stayed quiet.

Spencer was tired but the best kind of tired. A night in with friends, watching his boyfriend and his daughter be welcomed as much as he was, it wasn’t a surprise but it was always a delight. And this moment right now, Y/N cradling Katia’s with one hand squeezing her little foot before he planned to take her into Rossi’s office? What a life they had cultivated together. As he sipped his drink, the bliss in his tummy was not doused by it.

 ---> ---> ---> ---> --->

Slouching on the sofa, Spencer watched with tired eyes as Katia stumbled in the room, her hands held in Y/N’s while she waddled between his legs. Her round face lit up at the sight of Spencer. Her pace increased beyond her abilities and Katia swung forward a little as she almost fell over.

“Oh dear,” Y/N cooed while Katia got back to her unstable feet. “That’s it, there we go.”

Spencer wished he had the energy to properly appreciate this moment, especially since both his boyfriend and their daughter were grinning like they shared a secret.

Katia dropped down onto her nappy-cushioned bottom then began to crawl over to Spencer’s feet. His hands, although dirty, rough and near ruined, accepted her offer and lifted Katia up into his lap. They stayed for safety around her middle, keeping her sat up straight as she looked on him with those big eyes. Eyes that were fresh and untainted copies of his own.

Y/N sat down beside Spencer, leaning in close to Katia so he caught her attention, “Hey, why don’t you show your Daddy what we’ve been practicing?”

Looking away from both her Dads, Katia drooled and pushed her fist in her mouth. Y/N waved until he and Spencer were back into her line of sight.

“Go on, sugar plum.” He pointed to Spencer, “Who’s that?” And he mouthed the answer to her.

“Dadadadadada.”

It was barely above a whisper. But her little grin, the top of a tooth poking out of the centre of her bottom gums, the way Katia looked at Spencer when she said it? A soft “oh” fell from Spencer’s lips and he clutched her close, her chubby arms barely reaching around his neck. His breath shaking out of him, he kissed the thick thatch of hair that had sprouted in his absence. He could feel Katia whispering “Dadadadada!” again.

“That’s me, Katia, I’m your Dada.” He sniffed back the sting in his eyes at the absolute proof that, in his time away from her, she had remembered him. When he moved away, placing Katia back into his lap, he closed his eyes as Katia’s scrabbling fingers rubbed across the tip of his nose.

Katia made a sudden attempt to stand, throwing her entire bodyweight towards Spencer. Spencer’s breath was snatched from his lungs and the tension remained even after he caught her with ease.

“You ok?” Y/N said and Spencer noticed that his hand was supporting his against Katia.

Spencer nodded weakly, “Hmm, you?”

“Better now.” Y/N let his hand go and began rubbing Spencer’s back in the same circular motions that Spencer rubbed Katia’s.

A tug snagged Spencer’s head to the left and he tutted as Katia grabbed at his cheek, “Ow, Katia, no.”

Instead, Katia took a fistful of the next thing she could find, which was Spencer’s hair, and she cried out an identical (if higher pitched) “Ow!”

“You hurt Spencer, not the other way around, Katia. Stop faking.” Y/N scolded playfully.

But Katia repeated Spencer’s outburst again, “Ow!”

Y/N lifted Katia’s little fist from Spencer’s hair, and it immediately clamped down on Spencer’s finger as an alternative to wave about.

Spencer kissed her hand, still so tiny and forgiving against his. He looked at Y/N, blinking fast as he half-heartedly said, “She’s so like you.”

The lock of hair Katia had yanked on curved around Y/N’s touch as he put it back into the disarray of fluff that stood around Spencer’s head, “That’s funny, because I think she’s so like you.”

 ---> ---> ---> ---> --->

Tilting the pram onto its back wheels, Spencer pushed it up the step and into the aquarium tunnel. Katia lay back in her seat while gumming on her blanket corner. Her eyes were ready to take in the sights.

Y/N knelt before her, suffering a few kicks to his knees from Katia’s excitement. Her pram clips were undone. Little Katia was released into her Daddy’s arms then plonked up onto his shoulders. Her starfish-like hands pressed up against the glass. Her mouth became as wide as her eyes as she pointed at the stingray rippling past. She had seen fish before (Carl and Rosalind at home) but never like this.

“Yeah, that’s a ray, Katia,” Y/N rubbed his fingers over her back, his hands still to keep her steady.

Spencer pointed his finger right next to hers, “They use their electro-sensors, not their eyes, to find their meals which consists of shrimps, clams, and -”

Katia shrieked – interrupting his and she smacked her hands against the glass. No one seemed to mind though. Some patrons in the tunnel even chuckled at her behaviour. Like she needed any more encouragement, especially with Y/N grinning up at her and tickling her sides to elicit more laughter from his daughter.

When Spencer’s hand dropped, Katia shouted again. A little confused, he returned it and Katia took his finger in her hand then began dragging the tip across where the ray was.

“She wants it as a pet, what do you say, baby?”

“I thought you said not to get you any fish for your birthday.”

Eventually Katia was returned to the pram. Her head was thrown back to watch the rest of the tunnel go by. Then she hid her face in her blankie once they were out in the last few exhibits. There was a little tug of war to get her to let it go (she was a lot stronger than Y/N gave her credit for) and see the one other exhibit that both parents were invested in.

Taking her hand again, Spencer squatted beside the pram. “Hey look, the men seahorsies have the babies. They’re just like your Daddy.”

“Your favourite Daddy,” Y/N ruffled Spencer’s hair while Spencer pretended to be outraged. Katia caught onto the dramatic expression Spencer was wearing and copied him with a gasp added for good measure.

“What d’you reckon, any of these were babies when we went to visit last time?”

“Well, Y/N, the lifespan of these seahorses is approximately a year. So they could be.” He knew it was unlikely but, for the sake of the smiles on Y/N’s and Katia’s face, Spencer let it be.

[surveys-at-your-service]

Survey #337

“if i showed you my soul, would you cover your eyes?”

What's your favorite brand of chips? I like Lays best. Are you a good painter? My Painting teacher when I was in college last said I did wonderfully, but I definitely beg to differ. Before buying a car, do you usually test drive it? N/A Have you ever written a poem and then read it aloud? No, but a teacher has. It was so fucking awkward; it was very pacifist, the topic being about war, and it had some depressing tones of death; there was just silence at the end of it, and I still don't know if it was shock or "what the fuck, she's messed up." There was this one guy that went, "Nobody is going to clap at that?", though, which I thought was pretty nice and reassuring. Do you like pineapple? Yeah, I do. Have you ever met your favorite author? I don't have a favorite author. Have you and your best friend ever liked the same person? No. Do you have any freckles? Not on my face (though oddly enough, I did as a kid?), but on random parts of my body. How many different languages can you say goodbye in? English, German, and then Spanish. Do you like or hate the smell of fish? I hate it. Have you ever been to Sea World? As a child, yes. I'd never go as an adult. Do you know someone who suffers from short-term memory loss? I don't know how this is actually diagnosed, but my memory is absolutely fucking nightmarish, almost exclusively in short-term situations. I can remember the most obscure events from my childhood, but not what I said to you five seconds prior. I'm rather sure my medications have made it worse over time. Have you ever read any of John Green's books? I got like, one chapter or less into The Fault in Our Stars before the book got replaced with the Wings of Fire series, so I never finished it. Are you a protective person? I'm an immensely protective person over those that matter to me. Have you ever experienced an earthquake? No, thankfully. I'm terrified of earthquakes. What's one thing that makes everything in life worthwhile? The fact that to our proven knowledge, this is the only one we'll ever experience. What type of waffles do you like? (Plain, blueberry etc..) I prefer plain, but I can eat chocolate chip ones as well as blueberry and strawberry. Have you ever seen the show Wife Swap? Yeah, I actually quite like it. Do you like chicken or beef better? Or do you not eat meat? Chicken, I think. I eat meat, but wish I didn't. What brand of dish soap do you use? Dawn, usually. Do any of your neighbors have dogs? Yes, and they never shut up. Do you believe in fortune tellers? They're money-driver bullshitters. Have you ever been to one? No, and judging by the fervor in the above question, I hope you can tell I never would do so and thus monetarily support them. Do you like regular or chocolate milk better? Chocolate, of course. But I love normal milk, too. Once again, wish I didn't, though. Forcing a cow to constantly reproduce to lactate is pretty fucking cruel. Growing up, did you listen to country music? I actually did. Do you normally wash your hands in warm or cold water? If it's just a quick wash, it's usually cold because our water takes quite a few moments to warm up. However, if I'm looking to thoroughly wash my hands, it's gotta be relatively hot. Do you believe in mediums? I see them in a worse light than I do fortune tellers, so... Like sure, manipulate grieving people for profit, sounds great. Have you ever been to one? Obviously not. Have you ever dated someone on the football team? No. Do you have a gazebo at your house? No. Do you like tomatoes? Solely when straight from a garden and on a bacon and mayonnaise sandwich. Otherwise I am noooot a fan. Are you a competitive person? Not very, but there's a tiny spark in me, really when it just comes to photography. I hate it. Google or Bing? Does literally anyone use Bing? What's your favorite brand of bottled water? Essentia. Do you have any ceramic animals in your house or outside? Ummm I don't think so. Have you ever given someone flowers? Yes. What is something you might eat with a hamburger? Fries or mac and cheese. What is a sport that you’ve always wanted to play, but never got a chance to. None. What is a fruit that you might eat in the morning? A banana. Who might you send a selfie to? I don't send selfies to anyone. About how many pages is the longest book you’ve ever read? I THINK it surpassed 1,000? At least in the high hundreds. Who would you call first after getting engaged to tell them the news? Probably Mom. Around what time do you start feeling tired enough to go to sleep? Truth be told, it's usually arouund 7-8. I rarely make it to 9:00 nowadays. What trends do you refuse to give in to? I don't even know what's trendy right now. What subjects in history interest you most? As dark as it is, I find the Holocaust interesting to learn about. Are you superstitious in any way? No. How do you get rid of anxiety? What a relevant question, being in a partial hospitalization program right now. Coping skills that help me are doing deep breathing, mindfulness exercises, and a little jerk back to reality is splashing freezing cold water on my face. It also helps to talk it out with somebody, just get my feelings into words. Then if it's a true anxiety or panic attack, I have my "emergency" anxiety prescription. Are there any items of jewelry you never/rarely take off? My lip and tragus piercings never do, and I always wear two rings. Do you find yourself correcting people’s grammar often? Not really, no. It just seems rude and snobby to me, honestly, if it's not in an educational setting, like helping someone with an essay. Correcting someone in your average conversation is just... unnecessary, imo. Now if you're talking like in surveys and stuff, I definitely do in questions and such, but I don't point it out. Gummi worms: Yay or nay? Yay, love 'em. What do you do when you have ‘me time’? I only ever have "me" time, so what I always do... Do you lack common sense sometimes? I have a horrible lack of common sense, shit's embarrassing. Have you ever poured glue on your hand just to peel it off for fun? No. How do babies make you feel? "Nervous. They’re so damn breakable." <<<< Mood. Would you/Have you milked a cow? No, and I'm not interested. What really gives you the creeps? #!: seeing a baby move inside its mother's stomach. It will actually make me scream and/or cry because it just grosses me the fuck out. Whale sharks' mouths also creep me out big time. Do you ever eat leftover pizza cold? Yeah, I love cold pizza. When you're wanting a midnight snack, what do you normally get? We normally have cashew bars that I like if I'm really hungry. Which cartoon character would you want to keep as a pet? Obviously Pikachu. My niece loves Pikachu anyway, so she'd be ecstatic to see a real one. Or well, maybe I'd go for an Eevee. Not as dangerous with electricity and all but just as cute and small. Do you like marshmallows? Yeah. If you had the opportunity to live forever, would you take it? No. It would ruin so many factors of the temporary nature of life. Things would lose meaning, get old and boring, it'd be much easier to take advantage of things... There are many reasons why I have no desire to live forever. Hell, I even wonder if I want an afterlife for those same reasons. Did you ever really believe in Santa Claus? As a little kid, yeah. Do you like quesadillas? I like cheese, chicken, and shrimp ones. What's the greatest/most influential song you've ever heard? Ozzy's "Life Won't Wait." Do you prefer to pull off band-aids slowly or quickly? I tend to do it slowly. What was the last thing someone told you that had you at a loss for words? Uhhh I feel like Sara said something, but I don't remember what. What was the last health scare you had? Ugh... I'm kind of living in one now. As my legs have been worsening, I'm becoming increasingly concerned I'm eventually going to need a wheelchair for "walking" longer distances. And mind you, "long" for me is probably short for the average person. My knees do nothing but crack incessantly and burn when I use them, and they frequently feel like they're going to give way, and in a few rare instances, have. It's my own fucking fault for not sucking it up and exercising with my mom in the room, so I'd like to move on. What is your favorite filling for a piece of chocolate? Caramel. Do you enjoy the sound of birds chirping? I do. If applicable, what’s your favorite drug, and why? I don't do drugs, so. What was the last TV show you binge-watched? Avatar: The Last Airbender with Sara. Would you rather eat burgers or tacos? Definitely burgers. I don't like tacos. Did your mother change her maiden name when/if she got marred? Yes. What was the last job you applied for? Did you get the job? Deli worker, and yes. Do you use TikTok? No. What decorations do you have in your bathroom? None. Our bathroom is pretty small. Well, the one we use, anyway. The one attached to the master's bedroom isn't cleaned up yet, but we'll use it in case of emergency. What year was your favourite band formed? (Before people think I'm smart, no, I looked the dates up, haha.) Well Ozzy was Black Sabbath's vocalist, and the band formed in 1968, but Ozzy became a solo artist in 1979. What's your favourite fruit? Strawberries. Have you ever had an out-of-body experience? No. Do you prefer gory horror films or the psychological ones? I prefer psychological. Are you easily paranoid? Yeah. Do you have a favorite obsession? Meerkats and Mark are kinda tied, haha. Are you a workaholic? No. Have you ever given a tattoo before and would you like to? No and no; that would be an awful idea, given I have bad tremors in my hands. Have you ever seen the movie Labyrinth? I actually have not. Would you rather be called pretty or hot? Pretty. Have you ever gotten a serious injury at school? What happened? No. Have you ever performed in front of my large group of people? Yes; I was a dancer for many years. Have you ever fundraised? If so, what for? You know how Facebook recommends making fundraisers for a charity of your choice for your birthday? I've done that for the Trevor Project and two charities for ovarian and pancreatic cancers. Are you wearing earrings right now? Ugh, no, even though I want to be. The first holes in my ears are just too stretched for normal earrings because I wore heavy ones too often, and I just don't have nice earrings. I still want to get very small gauges to put in the stretched holes. Name a singer whose voice makes you swoon? Fall Out Boy's Patrick Stump can do that, holy shit. "America's Suitehearts" does it for me, man. Y'know, when his voice goes all deep. Do your pets follow you when you walk around the house? My cat Roman is quite literally my shadow. Where I go, he goes. What do you do online? I seem to only exist online, really, so I've got a lot on my plate to choose from, yet I'm still bored half the time, haha. I'm essentially always watching or listening to YouTube, I play World of Warcraft for varying amounts of time depending on the day, I scroll through deviantART, check KM periodically, do surveys obviously, "work" at the wikis I contribute to, wander around on Facebook... idk, that's all I really do at least semi-regularly online. Haha oh, wait, I also check Craigslist like... every day for tarantula and hognoses even though I can't currently get either. Let me dream. Do you have any scars on your face? I have a couple on my chin from when I fainted and busted it open. What countries were your grandparents born in? In the US. What was the most damaging relationship (romantic or not) that you’ve ever been a part of? Ultimately, with Jason, because of how it ended. The relationship itself wasn't at all damaging to me, but the breakup shook my entire fucking world. When in your life was your self-esteem at its lowest point? Self-esteem? Now. I'm very unhappy with my weight going back up, my body is just in poor health in general, I'm not employed, not in school... I just feel like a lowlife. Who was the last person you cut out of your life? Do you regret it? I want to say my sister's mother-in-law. Sure don't, considering she revealed her disgusting support for conversion therapy. I'm civil around her in person, but I kicked that woman off my Facebook so fucking quick when I saw that shit. Who is the most attractive person you know personally? That I know personally... I would say Alon, but I haven't seen even a picture of her in forever. Summer, though, shares selfies frequently, and by god is she gorgeous. I know a lot a lot of beautiful women, asldkjf;awe. It's funny that I'm blanking on men, at least involving people I still "know"/are somehow present in my life. Would you rather look older or younger than you are? I'm fine looking my age. Have you ever dated someone who was very vastly different from your “type”? No. What is the biggest project you’re currently working on? I suppose you can count an RP plot as a "project." I'm procrastinating so bad on it because it is going to be A LOT of writing. Is there a person from your past that you wonder about frequently? Who? Take a shot in the dark for me. Who knows you best, excluding romantic partners? My mother. What are your thoughts on human creation? I believe we evolved. How many people have you had sex with? One. Have you ever had a yard sale? Yeah. Have you ever been surfing? No.

[haiky-u-lously]

Mimi’s Gift--Chapter 3

Summary:

 It is said, that on your 25th birthday, one of your soulmate’s most embarrassing moments will appear to you in the form of a dream where you view as though being a fly on the wall. It is the night before your 25th birthday, and you are nervous because not everyone remembers the dream they have when they awaken. Will you?   

Themes:

Fluff, Humor, Soulmate AU

Warnings:

Embarassement, Teasing between friends, Self-judging (reader judges themselves on how they think about others).

Word Count:

~7,300 words total

Enjoy!

-Admin Red

______________________________________________________________

After hanging up the call with Yama, you had called and talked to Kageyama as well. It was nice catching up with him a bit since you hardly see each other anymore. His volleyball career had taken off. And, you got the added bonus of him letting you facetime so he could help pick out your outfit!

The only snag was that Yama had told him all about the situation (you’d since learned the broccoli haired boy had told all three of your shared friends) and Kageyama refused to give you any details about the person you were meeting for lunch.

But having help with your outfit made you grateful to the blueberry, and before the call ended he had apologized again for missing your special dinner, explaining how he couldn’t get out of evening practice. 

“Why do I refer to my friends as actual food?” You questioned your thoughts. 

Checking the hour you saw it was just about time for you to head out if you wanted to reach the location a bit before 1. Patting down your pockets to double-check you had your wallet and phone, you quickly snagged the keys off the kitchen counter, shuffled over to the doorway to exchange your slippers for a pair of stylish-yet-comfortable sandals, made your way outside, and locked the door behind you.

“This has gotta go well.” You hyped to yourself since you were a little self-conscious about wearing a tiara and a bright red and black outfit, but told yourself it was all for the cause of meeting your soulmate and that everything would work out for the best.

Thankfully, you arrived at the venue unscathed. Despite more than a handful of times where you almost tripped over your own feet, fell up and down stairs, and almost walked into oncoming traffic.

Yea, you were a hot mess with how much wandering your mind was doing. But you were also super excited. You were finally meeting your soulmate. The person who was meant to be your other half. The one who would be there for you no matter the circumstances. Through thick or thin, as friends or more, whatever...they were that person to you and you couldn’t hold in the excitement anymore.

Walking through the door into the venue you quickly found an open table to claim, so your soulmate could spot you easily when they entered themselves. You were scrolling over the menu deciding if you really even wanted to eat since you were meeting up with your friends for dinner at your favorite Korean barbeque place later and you wanted to enjoy that once-a-year treat. And, your phone buzzed, indicating a new message came in.

Pulling the device from your pocket, you glance at who sent it.

From Hinata: Hey! (Y/N)! Have you made it there?

You smiled at his message before responding, reading out loud as you typed, “Yes, I did. Thanks! I’m looking forward to meeting your friend!”

Not a moment later and the phone vibrated twice more. You saw you had messages from two different friends this time.

From Hinata: Great! You’ll have to tell me all about it at dinner tonight! From Tsukki: Don’t eat so much for lunch that you are too full for dinner, idiot.

You scoffed while reading the message from the sour-lemon-drop and decided to only respond to Hinata for the time being. “Of course! We’ll talk then!”

Perusing the menu once more, now you were caught on deciding if you should eat something just to get back at your friend for saying you shouldn’t or if you should listen to your earlier thought process and in fact...not eat anything, and to save your appetite. 

Jolting at being touched, you dropped the menu from your hands and whipped around to whoever it was that’d just assaulted your shoulder.

Only to face the same blinding grin from your memories.

“Sorry, sorry! I didn’t mean to frighten you! I’d called your name a couple of times and it seemed like you were really studying that menu, so I figured I should get your attention before sitting down,” His hand moved to rub the back of his neck, in what you presumed was a habit with how smoothly the action occurred. “I really didn’t mean to scare you. So incredibly sorry about that, but you are (Y/N), right? I mean Hinata sent me a picture with you in it, and I gotta say...It really didn’t do you justice, but just...wow. I can’t believe Yamaguchi really made you wear a crown huh? That’s crazy. You all must be super close! But I am really happy that I am finally able to meet you!”

As his speech finally came to an end, you slowly stood up, still facing him. Taking a good long look as his spiked brown hair stirred the subconscious memories of the night prior’s dream. As his awkward smile out of nervousness reminded you of the grin he had plastered on his face to try and make his teammates and rivals worry about his fall and subsequent face plant. Watched as his big innocent-seeming eyes looked back at you in both utter shock and thorough enjoyment.

“HI!” You all but screamed, plastering your own wide-open grin back at him. “I’d say something more, but Yama and them refused to even tell me your name so I am really sorry about not knowing it!”

He laughed at your comment, before motioning towards your table, “I’m Inuoka. It’s great to meet you, dear Soulmate. Want to have a seat and get to know one another a bit?”

You nodded enthusiastically and took your own seat before motioning for him to take the one opposite you.

It was amazing, that in the few moments it had been since he’d touched your shoulder you began to recall your whole dream. From the stray dog stealing his snack all the way to the fadeout after his double whammy fall on the court. Every moment as if it had been a movie you watched one-thousand times. You smiled at the boy across from you, happy as could be.

After the waiter came and took your pair’s orders, you having ordered a milkshake and a batch of fries and Inuoka ordering a shrimp pasta dish that sounded heavenly, you were about to ask him a seemingly basic question. Though, it appeared he had a different course of action in mind.

“So, (Y/N).” He began to catch you attention completely. “I know what your most embarrassing moment was, and you know mine….Want to swap stories?”

You almost choked on the air in your mouth, “WhaaaA?!” 

This reaction sent Inuoka into quiet but animated laughter, with his head thrown back and one arm covering his eyes he lost it. “You heard me clearly, didn’t you?” He teased plainly.

Smirking a bit, you decided if he was already prepared to be teasing what was going to hold you back. Nothing, the answer to your inner monologue was nothing. “Hahah, well I don’t really care to know MY most embarrassing moment, but I already happened to share yours with Yama so I guess there’s no harm in telling you too.”

This time it was your turn to lose it laughing at his reactions. 

It was as easy to talk to him as you’d hoped it would be. In fact things were better than you had hoped since you were just meeting him and you had almost lost that chance entirely. You quieted yourself and gave a soft smile to the table, your eyes glued to the menu though you weren’t really looking at it. “Actually, I didn’t tell him much. To be quite honest, I hardly remembered anything. If it hadn’t been for the fact that Yama and them were in the dream and that Yama was able to figure out exactly who I was talking about from such little information, I wouldn’t be lucky enough to be meeting you right now. I really am grateful for having such good friends, Ahahah. But I remember it all now if you still want to know.”

You finally looked up to Inuoka as you finished speaking, only to see a softness in your eyes you seem to recognize from somewhere, though you couldn’t place it.

“As happy as I am to hear that you didn’t personally tell Yamaguchi or anyone else for that matter, all about my most embarrassing moment, that was really cool of you to open up about something so personal. I think we will get along just fine, oh little soulmate of mine.” He commented just as the waiter returned with our orders.

Dipping some fries into your shake, you laughed as Inuoka had trouble getting the shrimp to stay on top of the noodles he had wrapped around his fork. He pouted a bit before complaining, “You have no idea how hard this is. These things covered in this sauce are too slippery.”

You huffed out a few laughs before popping the fries dipped in milkshake into your mouth, leaned over and grabbed the fork from his hand.

“HEY--!” He’d started, but you held a single finger up to silence him.

You twisted the noodles around the fork until there was a good chunk on there, you then maneuvered the utensil and stabbed the shrimp through. You swallowed the bite of fries you’d taken, held up his utensil, said “Wahla! Shrimp and pasta in one bite.” But when he reached to grab the fork from you, a thanks on the tip of his tongue, you snatched your hand back to your side and plopped the food into your mouth. “HMM! This is delicious!” You managed to say around the chunk of food you’d just stolen from him, “Stolen food really does just taste better.”

His jaw dropped, and his eyes curved making it seem like he was going to cry.

You quickly backpedaled, “Oh no, please don’t cry I’m so sorry. Oh no no no. I can’t believe this, please don’t cry Inuoka, please.”

In the midst of your pleading and frantic looking around for something to do and to buy time to think of the right thing to say, you missed the near crying look turn to a smirk and hardly saw him reach across the table to you side as he snatched a few fries and dipped them into your milkshake. You were totally focused on him as he plopped your snack into his mouth and hummed in delight though.

“You’re plight!” He laughed trying to copy you and speak around his food though there were some odd sounds thrown in there. “Foob rearry tafe beder wheb foreb!” He smiled around the chunk of food in his mouth, eyes tight as his grin was so wide it encompassed half his face.

You had to turn away to hide some of the blush it brought to your cheeks as you mumbled to yourself about how unfair it was that he was being that cute. Grabbing your milkshake, you started drinking, in hopes the cold half liquid would cool down your racing heart and heated skin as you did.

While the rest of lunch proceeded relatively normally, with each person asking the other about themselves, you found yourself a bit sad when You realized he’d just asked the waiter for the checks. You’d thought things had been going well, but maybe you’d been wrong.

To your second surprise the waiter returned with only one check in hand, both orders being on the same ticket. “Wait, Inuoka, we just met. You shouldn’t be paying for me like that.” You chided.

“Please,” He waved away your comments, “It’s your birthday right? If you can’t accept me just paying then accept it as a gift.”

Huffing a few times you sat back as you reluctantly agreed to accept him buying your food. “But what if I was a serial killer, that would mean you just bought food for a serial killer. That you are meeting for the first time. There would be no evidence for cops to follow if you were to disappear now.”

He laughed at your argument, “Well then at least I would know I had fun before dying.”

“WhaaA?!” You drawled out again, amazed at how calmly he can take your jabs and teases. Thinking about it, you really needed to stop hanging out with Yama and Tsukki together so much, that pair of salt masters are rubbing off on you much more than you anticipated. You shook the thought from you head and continued, “Okay, well then at least let me invite you to our dinner tonight. We are all meeting up at this Kbbq place I absolutely love as a birthday thing. And since you already know the guys it’ll be fine. Kageyama won’t be there cause he has practice, but the others will!”

Instead of answering you, he simply stood and moved to pull your chair back so you could stand also. He led you out of the venue you’d met at and walked alongside you through the town. You weren’t really sure where he was leading you, but you decided to follow along anyway. Glad that paying the bill didn’t mean he was leaving quite yet.

“This park is interesting, isn’t it?” He asked as you entered a park you’d been to hundreds of times before.

You looked around before answering, “I mean not really hahah. It’s a park I came to often during Uni to study outside, but past that I don’t really know anything about it.” 

He took your explanation in stride, “Ah so you were in Uni back then, that makes sense…” He laughed to himself before turning to face you directly, “I know you said you didn’t really care about knowing your most embarrassing moment, but I kinda planned this whole thing, so just play along, if you don’t mind.”

Blinded by his smiling face yet again, you nodded without realizing.

“Thanks!” He basically jumped in his excitement. “See, before I had my Soulmate dream, about you obviously,” He paused to laugh at his own comment before continuing, still leading you through the park as he spoke, “I had actually seen you before. Not often and we’d never spoken. But it occured. And I knew you were friends with Yamguchi and Tsukishima at the very least.”

You hummed to indicate you were listening, even though your eyes wandered around you, recalling different instances where you and your friends did one thing or another as you walked past certain parts of the park.

“I had even seen you the moment you met them.” He dropped this bomb on you right was he stopped moving. And, you looked ahead to see it was the outskirts of your campus, the place you literally ran into Tsukki and Yama the very first time you’d met them. 

“Oh hahah you saw that did you? Ya, not my finest moment.” You tried to laugh the embarrassment away. Realizing that even though you got great friendships out of the encounter you were still extremely embarrassed by the whole situation. 

He nodded a few times before speaking again. “The first time I saw it in person I really wanted to run up and check on you, but I saw it was Yamaguchi you’d run into and knew everything would be fine. He’d been a great captain for his team, and was an awesome person for the years we were on rival teams. So I wasn’t too worried about the occurrence and continued on my day.”

Wait, the first time? You thought to yourself.

Inuoka, looked at the ground below him before just plopping right down and sitting criss-crossed. He pat the patch of grass by him, telling you to follow suit. Even lost thinking about his word choice, you followed his lead. He continued his speech as though it was something he had practiced for a long time, “Every time I saw you after that, I wondered just how things managed to work so well because you were almost always with one of both of the Karasuno boys. But learning you all became great friends was fantastic. And, I mean you know Hinata too, and he is great. His volleyball skills are amazing to watch. Anyway though,” It seemed your soulmate got as easily distracted by his own thoughts as you did yours. It was a nice tidbit of information to store away for later. “When my day came around, I was so nervous. I had two friends stay with me. Actually, Hinata or them may have mentioned them before. Lev, and Kenma, they were both on my team back in high school.”

“Oh!” You interrupted, “I do know Kenma haahah, knew him before it was confirmed that Hinata and him were Soulmates too.”

The boy besides you clapped as he fell back in laughter, “That’s great! I love them together, just makes me go ajskgn;arjg!” 

Though his sound effects made no sense to you, you understood the point he was trying to get across, and giggled yourself as you nodded in agreement.

“But yea, I made them stay with me and as soon as I woke up I told them I had seen my soulmate before and had actually witnessed part of the dream in real life! They didn’t believe me of course, I mean why would they, but I had. Because..” He faced you directly, “It was you. And they day I saw in my dream was the same day I had seen you years prior right there on the outer edge of a school campus.”

You paled at the realization, “Noooooooooooo” You gasped and jumped up, frantically waving your arms and pleading, “Nooo no no! That could not have been your dream! That was such a horrible day! Like not even just embarrassing, that day was actually terrible. Literally the only good thing to come from it was meeting Yama and Tsukki. Om my gosh, I am so sorry you had to see that! You must have had nightmares from how disastrous that day was an--!”

Suddenly his hands were on your shoulders and he was smiling at you, his face even with your own. The weight of his hands calmed you instantly and brought your screeching to a halt as all you could do was stare back.

“The only thing that came from me seeing how that whole day had progressed was me freaking out and messaging Hinata until he gave me Tsukishima’s number so I could ask him about you. And all he said was that you were his friend. I shared no details and neither did he. Actually,” Inuoka seemed to turn away a bit as he contemplated something. Suddenly he removed his hands from your shoulders, and flung his right hand molded into a fist into the palm of his left, “I bet Tsukishima thought I was trying to hook up with you and that’s why he didn’t tell me more then the fact that you all were good friends! Oh that makes complete sense now!”

You just stood there, jaw dropped as he prattled on.

He shook his head smiling with his hands on his hips, “I’ll have to explain that to him more thoroughly then now huh? Hahahaa. Anyway, I wanted to say that I am really sorry for everything that happened that day, and that I am glad something good came out of it. Especially if what came from that day is the ultimate reason we were able to meet!” He paused for half a beat, but before you could recompose yourself and say anything he added one more thing, “Oh and if you’re sure it’s okay, I’d love to join you and your friends for your dinner. I mean, we’re soulmates, so we may as well get used to seeing more of each other, huh?” He winked at you, causing a fierce blush to creep up your features.

“Well, obviously!” Was the only retort you could muster. Quickly turning away to lead him about this time around. “Anyway, payback time. Let’s see the PLACES where my dream occurred, huh?”

And once again, you’d cause the same reaction in him as he had to you. You smiled in delight, thinking, ‘Yea, having someone like a soulmate, is a thing to be cherished. I’m glad I didn’t forget my entire dream.’ _____________________________________________________________ The End!! I really hope you liked the piece Mimi, and to anyone else who read, please give me your thoughts! Questions/Comments/Concerns/Ideas are always welcome!

Thanks! -Admin Red

[miikiiiiiiiiii]

Review: Log Horizon

I recently got interested in checking out Log Horizon, after it being out for quite a long period of time. (I know I’m pretty late to the party, being almost 6 years since the first season) I wasn’t interested in it when it first came out because I wasn’t exactly the biggest fan of isekai back then, and to be honest even now.

Well to my surprise, I enjoyed this show more than I had expected going in, and even craved for more episodes to watch. (Season 3 is coming out this year!)

If a person like me can love this show, you might also get sucked into the world of Log Horizon. You never know before you try it, amirite?

Perspectives and Moods

So I strongly believe that a person’s perspective and the state on mind highly affects the enjoyment of a certain show. I’m sure that there are many viewers like me that were turned off initially by this gem of a show because we all thought it was a copy of a more popular anime at that time, Sword Art Online. Or maybe you were intimidated by all the unknown game logic and lingo mentioned in the anime.

Thanks to one of my friends who was an avid player of MMORPGs getting me interested in the game genre and the mechanics and basics of an MMORPG, I greatly enjoyed this show and understood most of what the show was trying to portray with getting stuck in an MMOPRG and making use of the loopholes in the rules of the game.

Overall, this show hit all the right notes at the right time for me and ended up being a pretty cracky watch. I was actually quite sad to know that I would have to wait just a bit longer for Season 3 to come. (Oh well, what can we do about that?)

Stuff I liked

1. The ever-growing Log Horizon ensemble cast.

I loved how the show takes its time introducing us to the characters that are central and important to the story going forward. There is the main male lead, Shiroe, the guy awkward at social interactions but is also a brilliant strategist, Naotsugu, the enthusiastic and happy-go-lucky guy, as well as Akatsuki, the stoic and silent assassin but having a pretty cute personality. There are more, but will only list them in the spoilery parts of this review. These three characters are the first few characters to be introduced in the show and immediately you see how they work well with each other. On paper, their personalities are so different that you would expect conflicts left and right, but the show makes it clear from the start that they would form a bond so strong that nothing can ever break it.

SPOILER WARNING

As early as the second episode, you can see how Naotsugu and Akatsuki, despite only meeting for the first time recently, have fallen into this friendly banter, despite it being quite lewd with Naotsugu being a pervert and Akatsuki being very peeved about it. Somehow this banter doesn’t feel forced like in other shows I’ve watched and comes quite naturally. I also like how Shiroe, who was introduced as the socially awkward one, being the one to become the bridge that starts this friendship.

END OF SPOILER

There are so many characters worth mentioning, but if I do list them all with what I loved about them, this review will be crazy long. The characters all have chemistry and none of them feel like a caricature, despite being characters in an anime. I have to say, nicely done.

2. Shiroe

Shiroe is introduced at the start of the story being socially awkward, kinda like a lone wolf. He doesn’t want any association to any guild and the one time he was associated to a group, it wasn’t even a guild. Right from the start the anime shows you how strong he is, being level 90 and having friends that are ALSO level 90, such as Naotsugu, Akatsuki, Marielle, Henrietta (I think? I might be remembering this wrongly) The anime also implies that he is quite well known in the MMORPG world of Elder Tale.

He also starts to make connections and learn more about the world of Elder Tale that he might not have known before and makes use of the knowledge he has learnt to make this new world that they are trapped in liveable.

More that that though, as the anime progresses, you get to see his growth and deepen his friendships with his friends. There is nothing too devastating that happens in Log Horizon, but the setbacks that the main cast do face alongside Shiroe does make him mature and come out the other side a better person.

SPOILER WARNING

One of the events that stuck out to me is how he realised that inventing new magic in the world of Elder Tale is possible by observing how Nyanta is able to cook food that tastes good. He then proceeds to use that knowledge to his advantage and invents new magic that only he could perform at that point in time, contracts. I felt that this shows how smart Shiroe is in making connections that others may not have made, and how he gathers his information by observation.

I also liked the dorky side of Shiroe, especially his love for curry. He may seem like the stoic one in his friendship with Naotsugu, but deep down both of them are equally dorky and thus causes both of them to connect so well.

I thoroughly enjoyed watching his growth as well, from a guy who was a lone wolf and wanted nothing to do with guilds, to becoming a guy who STARTS his own guild. I also liked how even though he was slowly opening up to his friends that he doesn’t immediately become like an open book. He is still quite guarded, as shown by how he didn’t want to let them know his plan when he left Akihabara with Naotsugu to get the finances needed for the maintenance of the town. It is only after losing the raid and realising that he needs to learn to open up and trust in his friends more that he finally opens up and informs them about his motives. This growth feel quite organic and believable, making Shiroe seem more human. I hafta say, I really liked this aspect of the show.

END OF SPOILER

3. Akatsuki

At the start, Akatsuki was quite bland. I thought she was going to be the stereotypical loli girl that is exceptionally good at what she does and becomes peeved when people mistake them for being a young child. To my surprise as the show went on, she quickly rose the ranks of my favourite characters in Log Horizon and stayed at second place until the end of Season 2. (Number 1 is Shiroe, so being number 2 is a pretty good feat!)

Her character got more focus and development in Season 2 compared to Season 1, and although I wish she could have more development in Season 1, I’m actually happy with where she ended up and how she grew and matured until the end of Season 2.

SPOILER WARNING

Right from the first episode, you learn that her avatar in Elder Tale was a tall and lean muscular man. Even though it is a minor detail, I liked how it was subtle foreshadowing for the insecurities she had in real life about her appearance. The constant gags of people calling her ‘shrimp’ were played for comedy but also foreshadowed the insecurity she has about her stature.

In Season 2, we learn that she has low self esteem and felt like she needed to be good at what she does to remain by Shiroe’s side. Because of this insecurity, she also didn’t make any effort to make connections with the other members of the guild and withdrew deeper into her shell.

It is only when she dies and fights the serial killer that she realises that the reason why Shiroe didn’t take her along for the raid was not because she was a burden, but that Shiroe relied on her to take care of the princess. She also regains her confidence and also comes to a realisation that her short stature isn’t a disadvantage, but a unique trait that she has. She starts to open up about her insecurities to the other members and made their bond even stronger.

Although many shows and anime do discuss the theme of self confidence and self love, I like how it never became preachy and instead showed a natural growth in Akatsuki to demonstrate this point. This not only made Akatsuki seem more relatable, but also makes this message more memorable for viewers.

END OF SPOILER

What can I say, I love characters that feel human and relatable.

4. Character moments

I can’t list all of them, or else this post will become WAY too long. So I’m going to list some of my favourites. Of course, SPOILERS INCOMING.

The overall bromance between Naotsugu and Shiroe. A good bromance is always a nice breath of fresh air, in my opinion.

When the mini training camp squad realises that Rundelhaus is actually a Person from the Land and will not revive when he died like the rest of them. I cried so hard there were no more tears to be cried.

The blossoming romance between Marielle and Naotsugu, with their daily 9pm telepathic talks when Naotsugu went on the raid.

The friendship that is coming to be between Krusty and Raynessia. You have no idea how sad I was when Krusty disappeared!

The way how Isuzu held Rundelhaus’s hand when he was going to sign the contract to become an adventurer because he was too weak to do so by himself. Also the fact that he is laying in her lap… I was crying because he was dying but also excited simultaneously because they are so cute! Okay, my fangirling may have gone too far.

When Rundelhaus was so happy to become an adventurer simply because he wants to help others in need, and not for glory or the immortality. He’s such a cutie pie.

Demikas starting out as a pretty shitty guy, bullying the NPCs to becoming a valuable player in the raid. Also his wife, who’s a Person from the Land, being able to subdue him and calm him down.

Also Nyanta. Is there more to be said? He’s so cool~

Moving on!

5. Game mechanics and the mystery elements

I admit, I’m a noob when it comes to MMOPRGs. I do know the basics, but nothing more than that. I’m more of a singleplayer RPG, visual novel kinda person.

The show explains the game mechanics in very simple terms and even a non MMOPRG player like myself could understand the logic. Shiroe alsomanages to find the loopholes and slowly become stronger because of that. Unlike some protagonists that are strong simply because.

The mystery element of the show and how the players got stuck into the world of Elder Tale is also very compelling. The players slowly learn more about this new reality that they are stuck in and learns that the world may be more different than when they were playing the game. This makes the question of ‘how did they get stuck in the game’ and ‘who caused them to get stuck in the game’ become a mystery that needs solving, and not just a plot device used.

Log Horizon is quite clever, much more than I had expected going into the anime.

Stuff I didn’t like

Honestly, I had to REALLY nitpick at this section. There were so many things to love about this show. SPOILER WARNING!

The anime starts off quite abruptly. Without any context whatsoever, you see Shiroe waking up in the world inside a game. He ponders his situation for a bit before realising he can contact Naotsugu. He meets up with Naotsugu and talks to him familiarly.

Even though you know there is backstory regarding them both, you can’t help but feel as if you were missing certain pieces to the puzzle. It’s almost like someone asking you how a puzzle looks like without even you having the pieces to the said puzzle. The pieces do come as the story progresses, however, so this feeling of abruptness doesn’t last long.

The final verdict

Full of action, and lots of nice character moments. Game mechanics are explained simply for noobs to MMOPRG player and can be enjoyed by anyone. Highly reccomended!

[sabraeal]

Hi! Could you write a modern fanfic of Izana and Haki? Maybe you should write a side story to “Give and take a Little More” In the fanfic, there was a line where it said “[Haki] was sixteen and saw a college boy flip his floppy hair and talk to her father like he was a child.” I want to see how that meeting with Izana might have gone with for Haki.

Wide Florida Bay | Next

Her father has outdone himself, Haki has to admit, even if he is an asshole.

She’s been attending these galas since she was thirteen; too young by most standards, but all the men who spoke to her that night – including those who said they hated children, including fathers of her classmates, which, to her surprise, was a much larger overlap than she would have believed – had told her she was her mother’s daughter. She had thought that meant she was mature, that she had the bearing and poise of her hopelessly elegant mother.

Makiri hadn’t let that misconception stand for long. It means you look sixteen, he told her, and they don’t feel bad for looking at you.

In any case, she can see the expense Father put into this: the antique chandelier, made with real diamonds; the fountains of wine and chocolate; the entirely over-the-top ice sculpture centerpiece of two dolphins twisted into infinity – all of it says elegance but also conspicuous consumption, which is what all of these seem to really be about, even if the ticket price ostensibly goes to charity. It will be the event on everyone’s lips, until someone else throws a bigger one, and then her father’s will be forgotten, little more than a vague memory in an endless crush of parties.

Haki frowns, fiddling with the clasp on her clutch. She didn’t used to think like this, not really. Even days ago she’d been excited to be here, to see what all her friends would wear – they had, of course, shown each other pictures, but dresses looked different on models than they did in real life – to talk about what they’ve been doing since school let out for the summer. She had spent all of last night watching the season finales for both One Tree Hill and The O.C., making sure she had scrutinized every detail so she would be ready for today –

But she hadn’t watched The Hills. She’d meant to, it was supposed to be the culmination of all of her TV watching, but – things happened.

And now instead of talking about how awkward it must be for Chad Michael Murray and Sophia Bush now that Lucas and Brooke are a thing again, she’s thinking about how everything here is – is fake. How all of it is just something Daddy threw money at to be perfect, without even taking an actual interest.

She doesn’t want to think about why that bothers her so much, why that feels personal now, tonight of all nights.

She sneaks a glance over her shoulder, watching Makiri with a bunch of other guys his age, corporate heirs just like him, and – and he looks miserable, caged. I don’t belong here, he’d said, meaning every word. I don’t want to be this person.

You’re my son, this is who you are. Daddy has never been wrong a day in his life. I made you this way.

Her hands slicked over the satin of her gown. I made you this way.

They had picked this dress out together after he had told her which designers to choose from, after she had narrowed down her selection to just a handful of options. She had curled up on his office couch, laying printouts across the glass coffee table, and they had debated the merits of each one, of what it would bring to her reputation, her image. He’d asked her, as she’d shown him similar styles from celebrities her age to prove that one gowns was age appropriate, if she had considered going into fashion design, whether that might be where her business interests would lie when she graduated in two years.

She’d been excited then, she couldn’t wait to tell all her friends the next time she saw them, that he’d mentioned his industry contacts, maybe even an internship, but now –

I made you this way. 

Things are different now.

“Haki.”

A touch at her shoulder draws her back into the moment, Tomomi’s dark, earnest eyes waiting for her. “Haki, are you all right?”

“Oh, me?” She hangs her brightest smile on her lips. “Yes, I was just looking at the dolphins. Daddy hadn’t mentioned he was going to have them, and ice sculpture is so fascinating.”

“Ice sculpture, huh?” Andalusia raises her eyebrows, mouth set in a knowing smirk. “I think I know what this is about.”

With actual surprise, Haki blurts out, “What?”

“What do you mean?” Cristal asked, eyes darting nervously between them.

Now that the attention is on her, or at least, where she wants it, Andalusia’s smirk widens into a grin. “I think Haki is looking for someone.”

Cristal cranes her neck trying to pick out someone important enough to get excited about. “Who?”

“Why, the ice prince himself,” Andalusia drawls, “Izana Wisteria.”

The name has the desired effect.

“Izana Wisteria?” Tomomi asks, jaw slack. “He’s supposed to be here?”

Andalusia shrugs. “That’s what my Daddy says.”

“Is it true?” Cristal bounces on her toes, her searching getting more frantic. “Is he here?”

Haki bites down on a sigh. A few months ago, the only thing they talked about who was getting Hilary Duff to sing at their birthday, and now – now it was which Jonas they think they could get to go to prom, or whether Jesse McCartney was single now, whether that mattered because Zac Efron was both single and hotter, or, well, anything about Izana Wisteria. Ever since he had that article in Seventeen, talking about what the youngest (almost) CEO in America liked in a girlfriend, he’s been the topic of speculation in every single one of their conversations.

She thought it had been pretty apparent from the tabloids: legs a mile long and a career where she’s only known by an animal name. Giselle. Paloma. Raven. Capybara.

Haki nearly spits out her drink at that one. “I haven’t seen him yet, but Daddy said he would. He apparently was already going to be down here to visit Haruto, and since she was planning on coming…”

She leaves it on a shrug. These girls can connect the dots well enough, even if they can’t tell that the kind of girl Izana Wisteria likes isn’t down-to-earth and funny.

“Oh,” Tomomi says, blinking. “Isn’t that him over there? With your dad?”

Haki twists around, and, god, if Tomomi isn’t right – there is the ice prince himself, pale hair swept over one eye, talking to her father as if he’s an equal, as if he isn’t half his age and none of his experience. He’s much thinner than he looked in Seventeen.

“You should go talk to him,” Andalusia doesn’t whisper at all, putting a hand on her back. “Get your dad to introduce you to him.”

“But I –” don’t really care, sticks on her tongue; a good thing since she gets a sharp shove from behind.

“Bring him over here,” Andalusia tells her, tone brooking no argument. She’s the baby of her family, used to getting her way, and between Cristal and Tomomi, she usually does.

Haki doesn’t usually care one way or another, but this dress is Donna Karan. 

With a lingering look at Andalusia, Haki sashays across the floor, making sure that she can see every step she takes – right to the refreshment table. She doesn’t need to look back to know that Andalusia is two steps from blowing her lid, and she takes her dear sweet time filling one of the champagne flutes with punch, making sure she never spills a drop.

No one shoves Donna Karan.

She side-steps over to where there’s shrimp on skewers and scallops wrapped in bacon, loading up one of the small porcelain plates as she enjoys the other advantage of her stance by the snacks: she can hear every word that her father and his colleagues are saying, without having to stand by his side like an awkward puppet, waiting for its puppeteer to give it something to say.

“Of course,” her father says, wrapping up his story, “now everyone is saying that we should stop offshore drilling, just because of Katrina.”

The men around him laugh; they may all be land magnates, making their money off condos and tourism, but everyone has stocks in oil. Cars will never go out of style, honey, he tells her, and she knows better to mention electric cars, or solar power, or, well anything that suggests change. If there’s one thing Axel Bergstrom knows, it’s what to do with his money.

“That seems like good business.”

Haki swings her head around, and – yes, Izana Wisteria had said that. That her father was wrong.

Her father is known for his wide smiles, and this one freezes on his face, a rictus grin. “Funny you should say that, boy. I thought you Wisterias had your money all tied up in that business.”

“We did,” Izana says simply, with a shrug that says he changes stocks like some men change their shirts. “Or rather, my father did. He was a bit of a relic about these things. Didn’t have good foresight about what would be the next big thing. Completely passed up on Google, and look where they are now!”

He tosses his head, flicking his floppy hair so he can see out both eyes. “I sold all of them and invested in tech. Clean energy, Apple, Amazon – have you heard of something called Tesla? They make electric cars. Exciting stuff. You see, gentlemen,” he smiles like he has a secret, “while you men are invested in the past, I’m investing in the future.”

“Well, we’ll see how that works out for you,” her father says, with that subtle condescension he’s so good at. “It’s good to take risks, but you have to have a solid grounding in reality.”

“I know you don’t really know me, Axel.” There’s no stress on the name, but she sees the way her father stiffens, his surprise at how someone as young as him isn’t even intimidated in the slightest. Izana places a hand on his shoulder. “But I don’t take risks. I play to win. If you would excuse me.”

He slips away from her father, disappearing into the glittering crowd, and –

Oh, she’s – flushed. That’s…odd.

An arm, long and slender, slips past her to pick up a plate. “Nice party,” Izana Wisteria tells her, very, very tall beside her, with very nice eyes, and he –

He winks.

“Eep!” she yelps, turning right on her heel and bee-lining for the hall.

Once Haki turns a corner, safe, she takes a breath, covers her face, and screams.

It’s fine, it’s fine. He doesn’t know who she is, and they – they will never have a reason to interact again, besides maybe being polite at parties. There’s no need to feel embarrassed.

Izana Wisteria might be cute, but he’ll never mean anything to her.

[thebackroadtourist]

Lost in Albania: Tree Hugs and a Liquid Surprise

I consider myself an alternative type of guy, a “hippie” one may say. I eat organic foods, ride my bike, practice yoga and recycle as much as possible. Though I have never once hugged a tree. Until I met Claudia. I met Claudia at the reception desk of “The Wanderers” hostel in Shkoder, a Northern Albanian town known as the gateway to the famous 16 kilometer hike from Valbonë National Park through the Albanian Alps to the village of Theth. A two day nature-packed expedition popular amongst adventurous backpackers and known to be one of the most beautiful hikes and cultural experiences in Albania. 

I immediately felt connected to Claudia upon meeting her - a stunningly gorgeous Madrid native traveling the Balkans for a month, an International law student. As the receptionist explained to us directions on how to get to Valbonë (a 6 hour trip including a bus, the famous ferry ride through Lake Koman and then another bus) a tall, broad Englishman approached us. He was doing the hike too, so the three of us agreed to travel together in the morning to Valbonë. With a 6am wake-up call upon us we went out to “carb up” for the days ahead. The chemistry seemed to flow flawlessly as the three of us opened up and shared a bit about our lives. We feasted on a luxuriant meal of vegetable soup, pumpkin and shrimp tagliatelle, beet, chicken and gorgonzola risotto and homemade ham and cheese pizza (costing only $7 per person). Like children on Christmas Eve we stuffed ourselves with both carbs and anticipation as we expressed our excitement for the morning. The Englishman, a well-traveled mid-twenties software engineer had ordered a large beer for himself as well as Rakia shots for the table - something Claudia and I weren’t too enthused about since Rakia in restaurants taste like rubbing alcohol. Nonetheless we were polite and sipped the harsh beverage, chasing it with water. We finished the meal, paid and walked back to the hostel but the Englishman wanted to stop at a store to get beer. I found this strange given he had just drank a huge beer and a shot of rakia and we had to be up in 8 hours for the long two days ahead. He was an Englishman after all, so I assumed he could handle his alcohol better than anyone. He bought an entire liter of beer. It was getting late so Claudia and I went inside our respective dorms, showered, packed for the trek and fell asleep as the Englishmen stayed in the common area of the hostel to drink his beer and whatever else the hostel had to offer travelers who were keen on drinking that night. There were 5 separate dorm rooms in the hostel, all spacious and quite comfortable. I fell asleep peacefully in a dark, quiet dorm room towards the back of the hostel. I felt at home in the comfy bunk-less twin bed, an unfamiliar feeling in my past 6 weeks of traveling through this part of the world. 

The Liquid Surprise –

Around 3am I awoke to use the restroom and noticed the Englishman lying on the bed adjacent to mine, his phone plugged into his charger on his nightstand. He seemed to be asleep. The flashlight on my iPhone guided me to the bathroom so I wouldn’t have to turn the light on, preserving any chance I had to fall back to sleep before the 6am wake up call. As I sleepily stumbled back to my bed I noticed the Englishman’s tall shadow lurking before me in the middle of the dark room. Confused as to why he was standing in the middle of the room I proceeded to walk past him but a strange noise stopped me in my tracks. It was a hissing noise, a splatting sound. I felt mist sprinkle onto my shins. Then I realized - this dude is PISSING on the ground. Right in front of me. Right in the middle of all the beds! As his beer-scented urine flowed underneath the frame of my bed my sleepily-daze whipped into a bolt of energy as I shouted out “Dude! Are you pissing!?” He moaned but no words came out as he waddled out of the room, pants below his knees - kindergarten style. “You better clean that shit up before it starts to stink!” I called after him but no luck. He was long gone, and behind him a giant puddle of urine in the middle of all the beds. I leaped over the puddle to get back into my bed, astonished that nobody else in the room had waken up. For a second I thought I had been dreaming. But no. With frustration I reached over and yanked his bed sheet from his bed to wipe the mist off my shins before floating it down onto the floor in front of me to cover the urine as the liquid soaked up the dry cotton. I laid my head back down on my pillow, wide awake. I closed my eyes and tried hard to drift back into sleep but the scent of piss rang into my nostrils preventing any peaceful state of mind. Restless, I grabbed my pillow and walked outside into the common room to lay on the couch. It was raining and the cracks in the ceiling leaked on my body as the scent of cigarette smoke from the ashtray on the table beside the couch erased any “at home” feeling I had before the pissing incident. “Screw this”, I told myself as I lay awake for the remaining hours before the embarkment. The Englishman’s phone alarm rang when the clock struck 6am but he was no where in sight. I scanned the room and the common area, I even checked the kitchen and the laundry room. No trace of the Englishman. Assuming he had stumbled into another dorm room and passed out on an empty bed, I made my way outside to wait for the bus that would pick us up that morning. 

And there was Claudia, bright eyed and bushy tailed. “Noooooo! Get outta here!!!” She shrieked as I shared my urine chronicle. We were both in shock that he did that, given how mature he had come off the night before. Despite feeling tired from my sleepless morning I remained enthusiastic about the journey ahead, relieved that Claudia was joining me. We sat next to each other on the bus ride to the ferry as conversation effortlessly flowed between us and my fondness of her accrued with each story she shared. On the ferry ride we found a spot to sit on the back of the boat as our legs dangled above the water below and the mountains in front of us put on a show. Following the ferry ride we caught a cab to the home-stay where we were greeted by a Muslim-Albanian family who cooked for us and the other travelers a delicious meal of salad and risotto followed by watermelon. Claudia and I explored the property that sat in a valley beside a boulder-filled stream with the alps above, besieging us with it’s beauty. The next morning we would wake up at 5:30am to set off on the trail. By now I had known quite a bit about Claudia and she had known quite a bit about me, including my yoga teachings. She knew I taught yoga so she jumped at the opportunity to join me in a flow as we ventured out to the woods to find a dry, flat area to practice. The clouds parted as we flowed through sun salutations followed by a seated meditation. We sat in the sun, cross legged and conversed about life, the present moment, mindfulness and the state of consciousness in humanity. It was refreshing. We shared a moment of true peace and solitude from any worries in the world. 

The Tree Hug –

And then came the tree hug. “You must hug 2 trees!!” She preached in her seductive Spanish accent. “One to release negativity, and one to receive positivity.” Bubbled with joy she found her first tree to hug, “You’re turn!” I scanned the area and spotted a nice looking trunk, walked over to it, took a breath and stretched my arms out. I felt a little awkward at first as my arms wrapped around this giant trunk and my face pressed against it’s moss hoping an ant wouldn’t crawl up my nose. I settled into comfort and closed my eyes to inhale deeply. To my surprise, I actually felt it! I felt super relaxed. Getting pissed on earlier that morning had become a distant memory. 

The Trek –

That evening I kicked the soccer ball around with the Albanian children at the homestay and ate watermelon with Claudia and some of the other travelers, spitting the black seeds into a cup in front of us as the sun lowered behind the mountains around us. We were fed potato soup, salad and cheese burek that evening before we fell asleep - this time with no risk of a 3am liquid surprise. 5:30am rolled around as we laced our tennis shoes and gathered our gear for the 16 Km hike up the mountain. We were fed hard boiled eggs and given cucumbers and leftover burek’s for the hike. We were ready! We trotted off quick - leading the pack of the others who set off with us weaving on our way around small houses, farmland, cows, horses and wilderness that looked like a Lord of the Rings movie. The morning sun beamed down as a cool breeze brushed our faces, the most ideal climate for hiking. Soon we had reached an area that was quite remote, having passed any remaining houses or farm animals on the ascent up the “Cursed Mountain” so they call them. And cursed they were. I’m not sure how it happened, but Claudia and I ventured up the wrong ascent. An ascent that was on the opposite side of the mountain. We climbed for 2 hours up a dry rocky once-river, climbing over the rocks and boulders bigger than the two of us combined. A display of athleticism to say the least, we hurdled our way up the rocky mountain pass. At one point we even scaled a steep cliff, digging our fingertips into the crevices of the rocky mountain side for stability and balance. It was a bit dangerous but we didn’t care, the view was remarkable. It was only after 2 hours of our thigh burning climb that we knew something was off. We had been leading the pack though nobody was behind us. Each summit we reached was an illusion, as it grew before our eyes each time we thought we reached the peak. Our assumption that everyone took the wrong trail turned into an affirmation that we ourselves glitched our path. We paused, looked each other and laughed. We joked that maybe if we kept going we would end up in Kosovo, or Montenegro. We were lost in the Albanian alps surrounded by the most beautiful nature one could imagine, and together we felt free. Images of sleeping on the mountain with Claudia entertained my mind, but I knew we were going to make the bus back to Shkoder if we hurried back down and found the correct path. We hopped down the rocks like bunnies chased by wolves and eventually met our original starting point. Our legs and calfs on fire but the real hike hadn’t even begun yet!

The hike itself was delightful with stunning views, and was 100 times easier than what we had just endured. Along the way we stopped and hugged a couple trees (since now I was a professional tree hugger). Our conversation grew in intimacy, talking through our souls, opening our hearts, feeling as if we were guests on a self-help podcast. When we reached the conclusion of our descent down the other side of the Cursed mountain we caught our bus just in time - in a matter of minutes actually. We shared our ride back to Shkoder together, laughing at our mishaps and rejoicing in the success of catching the bus. We were eager to eat a huge feast that evening to celebrate. And a feast we had, Qebapa, Qofte, moussaka and beer followed by traditional Albanian cakes at a fancy dessert shop. We waddled back to our hostel with full bellies and full smiles, the sun dipping below the earth, walking in the glow of the half moon that shined onto the streets upon us. When we reached the hostel I knew this may be the last time we would see each other, as we were going separate ways the next morning. It was difficult to say goodbye to Claudia. Maybe that was an understatement. Her energy was pure and warm, just right. It made the trek ten times better than it would have been if I had done it alone. I hope we go on another hike together. Maybe a trip to Madrid is in my future, and perhaps a compass as well.

[floofsta-x]

70q tag

I had a little bit of this done the other night but I inexplicably lost it? I thought I saved it to drafts but...I don’t know, maybe I closed the tab without realizing it?

Anyways, hi! I know I have a bunch of tags backed up that I need to do eventually but I thought I’d do a few of my most recent first because they’re hot off the press and a bit more fresh in my memory?

Thanks to @leeminpuppy for this tag! There’s a lot of questions here lmao! ily Joann ❤︎

I tag: @hyungwnie, @wonhosflower, @reila-ravkong, @prettyprettykino, @hongbombs, and @17kihyun !! I know this is a lot, you don’t have to do it if you simply don’t want to or have the time ! ❤︎

► 1. Do you have a good relationship with your parents?

    Yes! My mom’s so sweet and kind, and my dad is the coolest person I know :) They’re totally the reason why I am who I am today.

► 2. Who did you last say “i love you” to?

    Probably my mom, dad, or little sisters. I don’t have a boyfriend and I’m not close enough to anyone here at college to be able to say that ahah

► 3. Do you regret anything?

    A ton of things, really, I mean I could write a mile-long list. Even the thought of the word ‘regret’ brings up a little bit of a sad funk. I try not to be too reflective, very often anyway.

► 4. Are you insecure?

    Ohhhh yeah. I don’t know very many people who can say no to this question lmao

► 5. What’s your relationship status?

    Single. I’ve been so for about three and a half years.

►  6. How do you want to die?

    Of old age, naturally and peacefully and knowing I’ve lived a long life.

► 7. What did you last eat?

    The last thing I had to eat was a wrap on a wheat tortilla with crispy (popcorn) chicken, provolone cheese, honey mustard, mayonnaise, lettuce, tomatoes, pickles, and black olives. I also had some cool ranch Doritos and Sierra Mist with it. (or whatever they call it now. lmao)

► 8. Played any sports?

    In gym class, but I always kinda sucked at it...I’m not in good shape at all. In middle school I went to a meeting to go out for the track team but I chickened out in joining lmao.

►  9. Do you bite your nails?

    No, but I do pick at them. When they get long enough I tend to tear the white crescent-moon growth off.

► 10. When was your last physical fight?

    I don’t think I’ve ever been in a real fight tbh. I often have to forcibly restrain my little sister from tickling me though.

► 11. Do you like someone?

    How could I not have such a huge crush on this floofy little 🍯🐝 ?? ❤︎

    Haha, for real though I don’t anymore--the guy that I did like got a girlfriend. Which is perfectly ok with me, as long as he’s happy, I’m happy. I probably wouldn’t have dated him even if he was interested, though. We aren’t cut from the same cloth y’know?

► 12. Have you ever stayed up 48 hours?

    Yes, and I’m never doing it again on purpose. I was dead by the time it was all over.

► 13. Do you hate anyone at the moment?

    No, I’m not a very spiteful person. Except when it comes to myself. I hate myself sometimes.

► 14. Do you miss someone?

    My family, first of all. I’m looking forward to moving home over the summer and seeing them. And then, there’s also my friends who have finished school and moved on with their lives. It always happens to me, I make friends with older students and then they graduate....

► 15. Have any pets?

    No, I live in a dorm right now and we’re not allowed any. Also my parents have never been that big of a fan of animals. I grew up without pets. I want a cat or dog in the future though.

► 16. How exactly are you feeling at the moment?

    A little bit stressed. I’m trying to think about a lot of things at once and I’m failing at it. Also tired, I had a gig (performance) last night and I used all my energy there.

    I want to relax but I really can’t at the moment tbh.

► 17. Ever made out in the bathroom?

    No ahah

► 18. Are you scared of spiders?

    Nope! My bedroom at home is in the basement and has been for a good chunk of my life, so I’m used to seeing them hanging around.

► 19. Would you go back in time if you were given the chance?

    Honestly, no. Though I have a ton of regrets, I think going back would put a bad taste in my mouth. I’d much rather look to the future.

► 20. Where was the last place you snogged someone?

    (Snogged lmao) Are you ready? ...I think that the correct answer might be in my bedroom at home or the hallway leading to it, but the last clear memory I have of a tongue-in-mouth kiss is in the DVD aisle at Wal-Mart.

► 21. What are your plans for this weekend?


    I have class today, a paper to write, juries to practice for, and on top of that I have a concert with a community band. Tomorrow, in the evening, there’s a retirement party for a beloved professor that I’m planning on attending. Sunday is my day of rest, except for a rehearsal with a friend, thank goodness.

► 22. Do you want to have kids? how many?

    Eventually, yes. Um I’d be fine with 2-5.

► 23. Do you have piercings? how many?

    No I don’t, actually, I’ve always been a little afraid of pain, and also I think that if I did pierce my ears, it’d get gross pretty fast. :/

► 24. What is/are/were your best subject(s)?

    Music, obviously, ahah. But in core academics, I’ve always really enjoyed and was good at Reading and Language Arts, and later English and Literature.

► 25. Do you miss anyone from your past?

    As I mentioned before, older friends who have gone out into the world and moved away from me. Also, I have a few friends at home that I miss on occasion too.

► 26. What are you craving right now?

    I really want a warm, snuggly body and the feeling of someone’s hand in my hair. Damn, I sound so sappy.

► 27. Have you ever broken someone’s heart?

    Yes, unfortunately. Um, we were seniors in high school and he told me he liked me, but I just couldn’t say the same about him. I went to prom with him and it was really...awkward.

    I also cheated on my first boyfriend, so there’s that.

► 28. Have you ever been cheated on?

    No, at least I don’t think so...

► 29. Have you made a boyfriend/girlfriend cry?

    Yes. I’m not particularly desperate to repeat that mistake. 

► 30. What’s irritating you right now?

    Nothing really. I guess, that I had to rewrite all the answers to these questions. 

► 31. Does somebody love you?

    I hope my family does! Also my close friends, I hope that their want to spend time with me is a sign of some sort of love. Other than that, though, I really don’t think so. I could be wrong however. 

► 32. What is your favourite color?

    Dark green, or dark blue-green.

► 33. Do you have trust issues?

    No, actually I tend to be a little bit too trusting. My mom and I have often had conversations regarding being walked all over.

► 34. Who/what was your last dream about?

    I think I had a small dream this morning about the test in Music Theory that I finished today. (It went better in the dream than in real life actually). So that would involve the professor.

► 35. Who was the last person you cried in front of?

    I have this friend who I met through Wind Symphony that I occasionally hang out with, and she sat next to me at lunch a couple of days ago. I had been having a bad day, thinking about my grandma and uncle (two relatives that have died in the last year) and just in general feeling hopeless. She got me talking, I took a chance and was honest about my feelings. I don’t know how, we got into plans for the future, and worst-case scenario ya know. I was talking about mine, which is drop out of school, move back home, get a long-term, menial job, and find a husband and have a family. For some reason when I mentioned settling down, the floodgates just opened and I started bawling. I think it’s because that’s always been a deep desire of mine and it looks very hopeless to me right now. I’ve also always had this really intense craving for physical intimacy, perpetuated now even more by the fact that I’m away from home and I have no one to love.

    She was very comforting, thank goodness. 

► 36. Do you give out second chances too easily?

    Maybe, but if I do I certainly don’t regret it.

► 37. Is it easier to forgive or forget?

    Forgive. I have enough regrets in my life as it is lmao

► 38. Is this year the best year of your life?

    No....it’s actually probably the worst

► 39. How old were you when you had your first kiss?

   My first clear kiss memory was when I was sixteen. (Ugh, the guy was younger than me, I regret that so much.) But I might have had another before that...it wasn’t voluntary, I just remember I was like nine or ten and this kid who was like 15-16 pulled me into a dark room and we made out for a while. Yep it’s just as wrong as it sounds...it might have been a dream though.

► 40. Have you ever walked outside completely naked?

    WHAT, NO, what kind of a question is this!? That’s just plain crazy

OK SERIOUSLY THOUGH WHAT ARE 41-50??????? I EVEN SEARCHED IT UP AND THEY’RE ALLLL MISSING 41-50 TT

► 51. Favourite food?

    Ohhh good question! It has to either be lasagna or shrimp!

► 52. Do you believe everything happens for a reason?

    Yes. We might not see it at the time, but it’s all part of God’s plan.

► 53. What is the last thing you did before you went to bed last night?

    Um well I was writing these questions, I put my computer away, set the alarm on my phone and took my glasses off.

► 54. Is cheating ever okay?

    Please take it from me, it’s never something you want to put anyone else or yourself through! I’m not just talking about relationship cheating, but also like...cheating on a test, cheating in a game of cards, or something. It’s not very fun, anyway.

► 55. Are you mean?

    I really hope not. I try not to be, anyway.

► 56. How many people have you fist fought?

   Exactly 0.

► 57. Do you believe in true love?

    Yes, but not like in fairytales. True love is built up over a period of many years and is undying and faithful. My parents are a true love story. :)

► 58. Favourite weather?

    Warm and rainy. Or just like, right after the rain.

► 59. Do you like the snow?

    It really depends. I like mountain snow. But not like, plains snow when there’s more than eight inches.

► 60. Do you wanna get married?

    Yes, one day, I hope. 

► 61. Is it cute when a boy/girl calls you baby?

    Considering that I’m not dating right now--no. Because that would be super awkward. But between a boyfriend and a girlfriend I think it’s adorable. My mom and dad call each other baby.

► 62. What makes you happy?

    Being able to make music, writing, coding, hanging out and talking with friends, my bands and their music (Monsta X, VIXX, and Pentagon in particular), exploring new EDM releases

► 63. Would you change your name? 

    No, I love my name. Also I think it would be a tad disrespectful to my parents?

► 64. Would it be hard to kiss the last person you kissed?

    Yes, I don’t love him like that anymore. I don’t even know where he is. Even though my last boyfriend was odd and like,,, voodoo child I wonder how he’s doing sometimes.

► 65. Your best friend of the opposite sex likes you, what do you do?

    This depends on a lot of factors. 

    If: they’re just liking me from afar, and are too shy to admit it and show no outward sign, I’ll keep going with our friendship until either I like them back in the same way and am comfortable with saying so myself. Or, until they are comfortable enough to admit it to me. 

    If: they’re liking me from afar and are all giddy around me and obviously lovestruck, I’ll confront them about it of course and if this makes the truth come out, I’ll proceed as below.

    If: they like me and tell me, I’ll evaluate my own feelings. If I don’t like them in the same way, I’ll tell them that I don’t, but tell them that I really want to keep going with our friendship and give my own feelings some time. If I do like them in the same way, of course I’ll tell them. 

    If: they like me and tell me and want to go on a date, it’s the same as above except no matter what I’ll go out on a date or two, and I’ll allow my feelings to develop then. They’re already my best friend, I definitely know and respect them, so of course I’ll give them a chance.

► 66. Do you have a friend of the opposite sex who you can act your complete self around?

    Yes, I have quite a few of these actually. I find it’s sometimes easier to talk to men than women. I can’t pin down an exact reason right now, but I have a sneaking suspicion that they’re just so much more straightforward.

► 67. Who was the last person of the opposite sex you talked to?

    Last night I saw a few of my friends who have been gone from school for a while, and one of them is this guitar player who I absolutely adore (as a friend of course). I was telling him and his girlfriend about how I’ve been feeling so antisocial this whole semester.

► 68. Who’s the last person you had a deep conversation with?

    I just got back from an emergency counseling session (over something pessimistic I wrote on a desk the other day and forgot to erase oops), and I really love my counselor, she is just always willing to listen. Lately, I’ve become more open to being very deeply personal with her.

► 69. Do you believe in soulmates?

    I’m not quite sure if I believe in the traditional concept of ‘soulmate’, but I do believe in ‘the right person at the right time’.

► 70. is there anyone you would die for?

    Really, I’d be willing to die for anyone. I’m not scared of death; this is only a temporary existence anyway.

[hmniay]

Tokyo Trip Report (Part 4)

This is the last of the Japan report! Lots of photos this time. Thank you for sticking with me.

Feel free to blacklist the tag “japan 2016″ if you don’t want to see these posts! The images may look squished if you read this outside dashboard due to my blog theme. Everything is under the cut.

←Previous

Day 10: Tokyo Comic City

The main reason why we picked mid June to go to Japan, other than that Jen has summer school and to avoid the crowdy July-August break, was because I wanted to meet some JP mutuals tabling at the con >///<  (thank you Jen for agreeing to this)

I especially wanted to meet Rui-san, whose art I looked up to a lot (and buy her books while I’m at it), but she had work last minute and couldn’t come... Maybe next time ;__;

The event is 11pm~3pm. We planned to go at 12 to avoid the crowd, but we woke up late and got there at 1pm😂😂  It was located at Tokyo Big Sight in Odaiba, and this place is like an airport!! It’s huge and even has conveyor belts, and people were carrying luggages around (to store the merch they bought??)

(No photographing allowed inside)

1/3 of the tables already packed up and left... Apparently in Japanese events, people list out exactly what they’re going to buy and go straight for it the moment the doors open. We didn’t plan to buy anything, but it looked like going in late wasn’t a good idea. Something to keep in mind in the future.

I saw a Miyoshi/Maki mini print and thought “hmm I’ll come back after we check everything out” and then it was sold out ;;;;;;

Free postcards at the door promoting upcoming only-events.

From what I understand, onlys are smaller, fandom-specific events inside a general bigger event? There are games and stuff but we didn’t understand it XD I noticed that tables of the same fandoms were grouped together, sorted by ships. Convenient for the shoppers, but I wonder what happens to multi-fandom artists? And there’s the whole concept of “circles”... It’s certainly very different from what I heard about Western cons, which I’ve not been to.

Also!! Most artists give out free prints! ...At least that’s what I 98% sure they are, but I didn’t have the guts to take them, especially when I’m not buying anything💦💦  I should’ve done some research first.

We met up with Ran-san (again) and Nori-san, who gave me some oisuga poster and postcards. It was a prize for a game on twitter and the poster was supposed to be first-come-first-served, but she saved one for me ahhhh;;;;; As promised I sticked it to my face.

And the poster is now on my wall ////

I suddenly forgot all my Japanese so there was a very long awkward pause before I said I would like to buy a charm from her www (After we got home I was able to talk to her on twitter fluently again what the heck)

Ran-san then took us to meet Kurot. She kept laughing at Kurot for being “crazy” from the lack of sleep. Kurot called me “Kiyo-san” at first, then questioned herself why she’s speaking Japanese when we can speak English😂😂  Please have a good rest after this!!!

I tweeted a photo of my shirt for mutuals not tabling to find me so I can give them Canadian omiyage (maple sugar lmao) and Saki actually managed to find me!! She gave me a iwaoi bag she made (bottom left in the above photo) with lots of candies inside. Thank you ////

Then we met up with Uma and walked around the con. The con was ending and we were about to leave when I saw copic markers on sale on the side. 10 markers for 1000 yen!!!! I never tried it before so I only bought 10, but I now regret not getting more.

I forgot to go back to say goodbye to Ran-san and Nori-san before leaving...

Uma, Jen and I decided to go to Ikebukuro for some afternoon snack. Yamate Line had an accident (someone fell off the platform??) so we had to take another line. Then it became clear how the accident probably happened. THIS WAS THE MOST CROWDED TRAIN WE EXPERIENCED ON THIS TRIP. I could barely take this photo. I was leaning on someone’s (sweaty) back with my feet half off the ground, and when the train arrived at a station, it becomes like a strong river where you literally get pushed around and have no control of where to go.

We finally found a place to sit down and eat.

We exchanged our sketchbooks and had a doodling session until we got politely kicked out an hour later XD

We window-shopped for a bit at Sunshine City before parting ways. Our host family offered us to make BBQ on the rooftop, but it was too late so we just got ourselves some konbini dinner.

Family Mart’s fried chicken is so good!! I finished it before we even got home.

Thank you so much for an amazing day!!! I hope we can meet again.

Day 11: Yokohama

Today is the last day of our trip and we decided to spend it in Yokohama.

Animate Yokohama was really close by so we dropped by quickly for last minute weeb shopping. Jen went to look for CCS and Digimon merch while I went to play the Joker Game Q&A (each week you can get prizes - a print I think - for answering a question related to the week’s episode).

Q: What was the pill left on the floor in Maki’s room? A: Aspirin.

But they ran out of the prize so I only got a stamp...

Heading to Hakkeijima Sea Paradise! This is where we will spend most of the day.

Kalbi onigiri. Yum. In Taiwan I prefer 7-11 much over Family Mart, but here Family Mart is my best friend.

The station is really cute.

We’re here!

It’s a giant amusement park on an artificial island. The right half is the “ground” rides, but we’re only interested in the “sea” side today. 

There’s not a lot of people.

Ahhhh they look like spiders and why are they so big!!! Jen: Are they edible

OMG so I happen to witness this guy eat... It pressed the fish in between the glass and itself, and wiggled until the fish got to its mouth... then swallowed it whole.

Our tickets also included fish-your-own-fish. 

I’m so sorry ;;;;

Jen is vegetarian so I got 2 for myself. It was really good and I wished I got more...

More animals on the other side of the park!

Hydrangeas near the entrance/exit.

We wanted to end the day with Yokohama’s famous night view at Landmark Tower, so we rushed back (it takes about an hour).

The Red Brick Warehouse!

We didn’t remember we wanted to go to the Cup Noodles Museum until we walked passed it lmao (it was closed already)

We finally got to Landmark Tower. Had a quick dinner at a Oyako don place.

We didn’t know we were making a big mistake. THEY STOP LETTING PEOPLE ONTO THE OBSERVATION DECK AT 8:30. We finished our dinner and got there at exactly 8:30. The directions weren’t really clear so we walked back and forth for a while, before realizing that the man we saw putting up a sign at a door was the deck staff closing the door. If I realized it a minute earlier I would’ve begged him to let us in ;____;

It would be frustrating to come all the way here and not be able to see the view, so we headed back to the port beside the warehouse and ended our Yokohama adventure there.

Someone on the train was reading Jump!!

We returned home to see this on the bed ahhhh... Inside the bag was 2 big boxes of shrimp cookies that homestay dad bought on his business trip. This host family was much less experienced (we are their first), but they were so sweet😭😭😭

Day 12: Departure

I leave Japan today and go to Taiwan next. Jen was staying for another day because she booked her tickets wrong hahahaha

Homestay mom helped us book the direct bus to Haneda Airport; we didn’t want to go through the pain of pulling luggages through the subway system again.

We got off at Terminal 1... BUT JOKE’S ON ME IT’S ACTUALLY SUPPOSED TO BE TERMINAL I FOR “INTERNATIONAL” WHO THE HELL THOUGHT THIS WAS A GOOD IDEA!! So we had to quickly take the airport shuttle to the correct terminal to check in.

The airport was decorated in Edo? style.

I decided to have Mos Burger for my last meal in Japan. I grew up eating their rice burger in Taiwan so I wanted to try the real one in Japan. They only had regular burgers here though!!

Our last doodle together.

It was hard to say goodbye to Jen. We’ve been together since elementary school and who knows when we will see each other in person again...😢 We dragged on until last minute and I almost missed my plane lmao

Bye bye Japan! Thank you for a wonderful time and I hope I can come again soon!!

Is Laputa in there

The flight was only about 3 hours so by the time I woke up from a nap we were already landing. But then...

WhaT

IS

HAPPENING

I WAS LEGIT TERRIFIED OMG I hate flying and I would think that if the plane needs to make FIVE GODDAMN CIRCLES above the airport, something might’ve happened down there. 

After what felt like forever, we finally started descending. Everything looked fine?  

Then it became obvious why we couldn’t land. It was like a typhoon down there and the plane was shaking so much while landing. There were no actual typhoon though. Just your regular crazy Taiwanese summer afternoon-storm.

Yep I’m definitely back in Taiwan

The moment I stepped out of the plane I could feel the intense hot humid air, like usual... The storm was crazy big and part of the subway was experiencing outage, so I had a rough time getting home. Good to be back though.

Souvenir for my grandma! She loves matcha stuff. These are matcha-white chocolate cookies, bought at Haneda airport.

My loot from Japan. I managed to control myself hahahaha

Corn flavoured stuff is the best!!!!!!!

And this concludes my Japan trip report!! It is almost 8 months since the trip I can’t believe I took so long to organize this😂😂  I might write a little bit here and there about the Taiwan trip later. Thank you for sticking around and I hope you enjoyed reading!!

[rhodirachel]

Ribbons | 8 | An Undertale Fanfiction

Chapters

1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11 | 12 | 13 | 14 | 15 |

Summary

                                                                                                                Formerly known as “New Years Present”

Frisk deals with battles time and time again- her PTSD from the Underground, the constant hate between Humans and Monsters, and more. What will happen if she sinks too deep in something she cannot grasp?

Part of my/an original Undertale AU, REMTale.

Rating: M

Words:   3,265

Relationships: Papyton, Frans, Alphyne

Warnings: Possession, PTSD, Schizophrenia, Borderline Personality Disorder

I try to overcome the dizziness that has seemed to permanently affect me as I change from my hospital clothes to my regular clothes. Sans and Alphys were both waiting outside the door for me, and Asgore had promised me that when he saw Toriel this afternoon he would go and talk to her. We sat down after Sans and Alphys walked out of the room, and Asgore told me that I shouldn't worry about what I had done. I was just protecting the people that I care about; there was nothing wrong with doing that. I give him a smile and a nod, but deep down it was eating me to the core. it wasn't me. There was no other way to put it. I try to shake it off of my mind as best as I can, for now at least. I just want to be able to get to Alphys' house in one piece.

I get out of the room, and apparently Alphys had already signed a few papers that would let me out of the hospital. We head down to her car and we make our way over to Toriel's house so I can grab some things before I spend time at Alphys' house. It is a short drive, but it felt like it was an eternity in the car. Everything was silent, and it wasn't a comfortable silence, either. I could tell that the whole situation right now was awkward. I rest my head against the window of the car, wondering about what's going to happen when I get to Toriel's house. Would she even be there? If she was, would she even say anything to me? What would she even say? It's not like I could explain everything to her. I could barely do that with Sans; how am I supposed to believe she would believe something like that? She would probably just scoff at me and start yelling at me more for making up 'such a terrible lie'. I try and close my eyes to just drift away from it all, but that's stopped short when the car suddenly stops.

"Alright, Frisk. You go on ahead and get your stuff, Sans and I will be waiting in the living room for you when you finish, alright?"

I open my eyes and nod to Alphys. I get out of the car and run inside the house. I look around the place rather quickly, but I soon notice that Toriel is nowhere to be seen here. I was relieved as I was saddened, walking up the staircase to my room. I grab a suitcase I had in my closet, and I start picking out clothes to bring with me and some other things. I made sure to bring some books and manga, and I also brought a few old Pokemon games with me on a whim. I made sure to get all of the other essentials, and I started my way down the living room where Sans and Alphys were waiting. I stop in the middle of the hallway when I start to look over all of the pictures that Toriel and I had taken. We had pictures from all of our trips, from me just getting out of the Underground to where I am now. I can't stop staring, even if I don't want to. How could just a matter of, who knows- five, ten minutes, change something so much about how you perceive something, or someone. She probably is so furious at me still. I close my eyes to stop myself from tearing up. What if something like this happens again? What if something even worse happens? I didn't want to think about it; it made me sick to my stomach. I drag myself down the staircase to where Alphys and Sans were, and we left the house. We all made our way into the car, and we started driving over to Alphys' house. It was probably about twenty to thirty minutes away, and so I tried to pass the time by playing the games I had brought. I had no idea how to start a conversation with the too at the moment, and I couldn't let my mind wander anymore. It depressed me too much.

A little bit later we get to Alphys' house. It was a classic Colonial right behind the sidewalk, lined up with other countless houses that went down the road and up the hill. The Colonial was red, but there were abundant amounts of white highlighting. The whole house was covered in flowers and various greenery, making the whole scene come to life. We got out of the car and made our way to the door. The house had a beautiful wrap-around porch that had beautiful decorum. The whole piece looked like it belonged in a movie.

"Alphys, this is a great work that you’ve done on this house. It’s really beautiful.” I give her a polite smile.

“Oh, actually, I wasn’t the one who had made all of this.” Alphys leans over towards us, “Truth be told, Undyne has a really big knack for decorating. She loves it.

Alphys had knocked on the door to their house, and we waited there for a moment that carried on to quite the awkward silence. Just when it was about to get even worse, Undyne opens the door with a whoosh of excitement and pulls me into a hug.

“Hey, Punk! I haven’t seen you in a while!” she is really excited.

I giggle and I hug her back. She was right, we hadn’t even seen each other since the party on New years. That must have been at least a month ago, I’m sure of it. We hug for just a little bit longer until she lets me back down so I can bring my suitcase into the house. I ended up just leaving my suitcase by the door for now, and Undyne led us into the living room so she could make some tea for us and we could hang out. For a Colonial, the room seemed very spacious. Well, that’s probably because of the fact that their living room and their kitchen were basically the same room. It was more of like a walk-in kitchen, but it looked really nice. I also thought it was really cool that even though they added their modern touches, they relatively followed the theme of the house. Traditional, but with a pop that just made you feel happier when you walked into the house. I know it made me feel better when I walked in. Honestly, though, my SOUL couldn’t be hurting any worse. It was throbbing, like it was just slit open by a million blades, and left to lie there while it bled out of its own control. I tried to shrug it off and be casual, but it was getting harder and harder. I’d do it for them, though. I always will.

“So Alphys tells me that you’re going to be staying with us for a little bit?”

I look over to see it’s Undyne who's asking me the question, and I smile back. “Yeah, I’m going to be staying for a while. I really hope it’s not an inconvenience.”

Undyne gives me a groan, and I scoff. “Why would you be an inconvenience? C’mon, it’s going to be so fun! Like an extended sleepover! We can horse around, we can- oh my God, we can binge watch anime.”

Now that gets me to laugh, and Undyne sits down next to me with a tray of tea that she had pulled out of the fridge. Undyne was always known to make the best tea in town; even to the point where she was starting to make a little bit of extra money off of it. With this knowledge, naturally I am the first to grab a cup of her sweet tea. Undyne turns on the television and starts asking us what we want to watch, but Undyne and Alphys already agree on an anime that they really wanted to watch. I look over to see how Sans is doing, and I see him smiling at me. Not that smile that gives you butterflies, and not that smile where you know they have butterflies. It’s a smile that wants you to be okay. It’s a smile that hopes that you’ll be okay.

It’s a smile that would do anything to make sure that you’ll be okay.

------------------------------------------------

“Hey Sweetheart, I need to talk to you about something.”

I turn around from washing the dishes to see Sans staring at me. He has sort of a weird look in his eyes, but I don't know what it means.

“Oh? Okay, what do you need?”

“Um, I think we should tell Alphys about what is going on.”

My heart thumps in my chest. “W-wait, what do you mean?”

He walks up closer to me, and I slowly go back to doing the dishes. "You know, the thing about the dreams... this- this person-"

"Sans, do you know how much of a bad idea that is? She'd probably just call me crazy. Even if she did believe me, what can anyone even do about it? It's not like they can just give me a cure that will make it all better again. It seems... too real for that, I guess."

Sans sighs and reaches out to hold my now shaking hands, clutching the plate I’ve been washing.

“Frisk.”

I turn to look at him, and his eyes are dead on me.

“We are your family. We all love you. Even if there is nothing we can do to help you, you need to at least tell them so they can at least know why you’ve been acting so different. Otherwise, nothing is going to change, Frisk.”

He lets go of my hands and shrugs. “I’m telling Alphys. It’s your decision if you want to go and tell Undyne.”

I look over my shoulder and watch Sans walk off and up the stairs. I finish doing the dishes from the tea that we all had for the afternoon, and later Undyne had started to make Mexican food for dinner as she had promised us earlier in the day. Undyne had finished up a little later, and Alphys, Sans and I had to practically drag ourselves from the anime we had started watching earlier just to eat some food. Undyne eventually said, though, that we could eat at the couch so we could all continue the anime. It was pretty obvious that everyone was on board with the idea.

Undyne had made these beautiful burritos with chicken, steak, and shrimp. It was all mixed together with onions and green peppers, and even some mushrooms. There was no other word to describe it but absolutely delicious. We all had a laugh-fest though, because as I was trying to make my burrito it all pour out onto the plate from the tortilla wrapping.

“Guys, it’s not my fault! I’m terrible at gift wrapping, you expect me to be good at this?!”

It was all over the place, and what I had said only made everyone laugh even more. I giggled with them, and we had all sat down to continue watching the anime that we were watching.

“So how are you guys liking the anime?” asked Undyne.

“It is so good,” I said. I had never seen anything like it. The art was absolutely beautiful, some of the scenery alone could bring you to tears. The story was so good, and you just absolutely fell in love with the characters. It was so easy to connect to it all; it was so easy for it to inspire you. It was absolutely breathtaking.

Later during the night, Alphys had gotten a call from the facility that she worked at saying that she needed to come in for a late night shift. With that, we sort of had to end the night early. Everyone cleaned up, and we had turned off the anime that we were watching. Undyne wanted to put on a show that we had at least all seen, and so she decided to put on none other than Teen Titans.

“Oh my goodness, Undyne. Even before falling into the Underground, one of my only memories is this show. When there’s trouble you know who to call…”

Undyne cackles and chips up. “Teen Titans!”

Undyne and I kept singing the theme song for the show until there was a noise from upstairs. I told Undyne I’d go see what it was, and I brought my suitcase along with me as well. My spare room was just down the hall, so I didn’t see any harm with knocking two birds with one stone.

I notice that the first door upstairs is cracked slightly, and that it was where the noise was coming from. I stand next to the door frame, trying to keep myself out of the way of the door in case something happens. I can overhear a conversation.

“Oh, give me a break, Sans. How do you even know if what she is saying is true? Even if she wasn't “lying” to you, how do you know that she isn't even just seeing these things or something?”

“Alphys, I honestly don’t think that that’s what it is…”

“Then what is it then, huh? How can someone who isn’t even real just magically do this to someone?”

I open the door and I walk in on them both. Sans and Alphys quickly turn around, and they both look paler than ever at the sight of me.

“Oh, h-hey, Frisk. How are you doing?”

I didn’t really know why I barged in here in the first place, but there’s no turning back now. Even though my throat feels like it’s about to shut tight forever, I’m able to get some air together to at least say something to them. I don’t know whether or not to be mad, sad, or shocked.

“Oh, well, I don’t know. I’ve been feeling a little bit like shit lately,” I brought a hand up to my mouth dramatically and gasped, “but- oh, wait! I bet I’m just making that up, too. You know, with another piece of my SOUL missing and all.”

I was terrible at giving comebacks, but it felt good to at least give some kind of one. I stormed out of the room they were in and went straight to mine. I wanted to think that I couldn’t believe that Alphys wouldn’t believe me, but of course I couldn’t think that. It was obvious that there was a possibility she wouldn’t. I even told Sans that. I decided to just go ahead and start unpacking my bag, if anything to at least get my mind off of stuff. Hours had past and I was long done with unpacking, so I decided to play my games that I was playing earlier in the day. I didn’t want to think anymore about what was going on with me, and I didn’t want to think anymore about what the other thought about it.

“Hey, kid.”

I turn around from the wall I was facing while playing my game, and I see Sans standing in the middle of my room, looking down at me.

“Hi.” I go back to facing the wall I was at, continuing my game.

A deep silence permeated the air, only for a moment.

“I’m sorry you had to hear all that.”

I stand up and turn around to face him.

“Who do you even believe, Sans?”

Sans looked down at the ground, trying his best not to stare back at me.

“Are you going to believe someone who doesn’t even know what’s really going on with me, or are you going to believe the person who loves you-”

“How are you sure you  even know what’s going on, Frisk? Oh wait, that’s right. You don’t know what’s going on with you. No one does.”

“So you’re just going to believe Alphys because she is apparently the ‘almighty genius’? Last time I checked, Sans, she wasn’t the one who was having these dreams. Or these freaky take-overs.”

Sans lets out a deep scoff, and turns away from me. “Whatever you say, sweetheart.”

Sans disappears without a trace. I go over to sit back on my bed, and I put my head in my hands. Not even Sans seems to believe me.

I look over at the clock that lays on my bedroom nightstand. It’s just struck midnight. I lay back on my bed, and continue playing my game. I’m tired of dreams for now.

Copyright 2017 © rhodirachel. All rights reserved.

[ontheoddoccasioniwritestuff]

Seahorse (Spencer Reid x Trans Male!Reader) SFW

Summary: Spencer and Y/N have always wanted kids. Here’s the time Spencer was brave enough to broach the subject of how they would go about it. Plus a few more times after that.

AN: @imagining-in-the-margins​ came up with the idea of Spencer’s trans bf having a baby amidst man many many prompts for Spencer x male!reader to indulge my daydreaming and I ran with this prompt.

Thank you to @writing-in-april​ for being my beta on this one! Couldn’t have done it without you, beebs <3

This is the SFW version. Here’s a link to an NSFW version of the story, but do not read that if you are under 18!

Word Count: 5.7k words

Content Warnings: Trans man is pregnant, coming off medication, allusions to Prison!Spencer.

Masterlist // Gif Credit // NSFW Version

The halls echoed with the unbridled joy of little ones calling out “Nemo” and “Dory” at the sight of the clown and surgeon fishes. Spencer bounced on the balls of his feet as he looked around the next room in search of his goal. He stopped when Y/N spared a look in his direction, away from the tank that had captured his attention for a solid five minutes.

“JJ sent me a video of a shrimp solving a Rubik’s Cube the other day.” He grinned.

Ah yes. JJ had also sent Spencer a video of little Henry swinging a mini softball bat about just like Spencer had done. For one game and one game only he had insisted, despite Y/N’s own resolve that he looked hot in the kit.

The walk through the tunnel was the slowest slog Spencer felt, but it was the only attraction in the aquarium to properly distract him. Lights above them filtered through the water, bouncing off the painted walls of the tank in a blue glow. Various species in a perfectly balanced ecosystem swam around one another without a care in the world. A particular stingray flapped its body against the glass, and three children nearby laughed at its funny shaped mouth.

“I used to sit on my mum’s shoulders when we walked through these. Touch the ceiling as if I could pet the fishes.” And Y/N’s hands stretched up over him, his eyes following a shark that slinked overhead, “When I got too old, I’d just press my nose against the glass and stare back.”

Nerves returned at the sight of a circular tank in the centre of the room holding something familiar. Seahorses curled their tails around the plants that waved together like a crowd at a concert. Little babies bobbed about the parents, translucent and wriggly.

Spencer coughed and spoke while Y/N took in the creatures, “Did you know that the seahorse is the only animal where the male carries the children?”

Suddenly his throat was dry; the words he’d been rehearsing dragged to a halt. Y/N turned to face him properly, guiding Spencer to the left as a little girl stood on tiptoe to see the seahorses as he continued to struggle.

“Well, that might not be true actually.” Spencer choked a little on his words, his voice’s volume steadily declining into a soft whisper, “I know that some human men can have babies.”

Y/N’s face clouded with doubt for a moment. Then it clicked and his face cleared, “Spencer, tell me what you’re getting at.”

Spencer twisted his hands around one another, “Have you ever thought about us having kids… biologically?” He watched Y/N’s Adam’s apple dip as he swallowed hard

“You mean like me being pregnant?”

“Yes, have you considered it an option for us?”

The conversations of other aquarium patrons were forgotten as Y/N took his gaze away from Spencer. His eyebrows were low as he considered his words carefully. Y/N always thought about the implications of what he was saying, maybe a little too much. Spencer could be biased though; his impatience did not mix well with his anxieties.

Eventually, Y/N turned back with a brave face and said, “I’d have to think about it some more.”

“Ok.” Spencer nodded, his chin wobbling a little.

There was hope though: he needed to think “some more”. Implying Y/N had thought about this before.

Near the end of their trip, Spencer did find himself in a staring contest with a little seahorse plushie with large eyes and an anatomically inaccurate tongue hanging out. In all honesty, it was kind of ugly.

“Spencer, come on. You know how I get around stuffed animals.”

How empathetic his boyfriend really was, projecting feelings of love onto the inanimate objects then making the excuse that he had to buy it now.

Spencer did have to leave the toy behind though. Out into the sunlight of the parking lot, he winced before he put his sunglasses back on.

“Park?” Y/N offered his hand and smiled. It was an olive branch, something to say that Spencer’s query had not ruined their day out together.

Spencer accepted and squeezed his hand. “Park.”

---> ---> ---> ---> --->

Standing in front of the bathroom mirror, Y/N had a hand on their lower belly, some space between the fingers as if there was an invisible bump there to accommodate. His head had tilted while he thumbed over the air.

As drowsy as Spencer was from work, his mind was focused without a distraction on what he had seen through the ajar bathroom door. He could barely pay attention to the Doctor Who episode Y/N put on. In fact, he doubted anything could take his attention away from the idea of having a child with-

“What do you think about me being pregnant?”

Spencer’s eyes shot wide open, then they were covered slightly by his inquisitive eyebrows in his attempt find an answer. Especially with Y/N looking on him while he waited for him.

“I think you’d be so beautiful carrying our baby. But if you wouldn’t be comfortable, then I wouldn’t make you. We still have surrogacy, fostering, adoption to consider,” was his answer. Never a lie, but the truth was always softened.

Seemingly satisfied, Y/N looked back at the episode. But Spencer couldn’t wait anymore, forgetting about anything else in the world except for this.

“What do you think, Y/N?” His body leant in towards his boyfriend’s.

Squirming in their spot on the couch, Y/N hummed before he answered, “I froze some of my eggs before I started my transition. I also sold some, for a down payment on a house or my wedding.”

Spencer’s heart thrilled at the possibilities. A house together? Matching suits at their wedding? He almost neglected to think about the fact that pregnancy was suddenly a very viable option for their future.

Regardless of Spencer’s many, many thoughts, Y/N continued, “And I thought that perhaps, if I found the right person, I would like to carry their child.” His palm opened up to him and Spencer instantly took it. “I know you’re the right person, but I’m not sure I want a baby now.”

“Of course,” Spencer lifted Y/N’s hand to his lips, “Whenever we’re both ready.”

---> ---> ---> ---> --->

Spencer pushed the dirty bedsheets into the washing machine; it wasn’t that big a deal. If the blood didn’t come out, then they could always buy a new set. Although they should really be saving money for decorating the nursery.

“Spenceerrrr.”

As the machine rumbled into life, Spencer returned to Y/N, curled up on the sofa with a heat pad to his gut. No amount of warnings from their doctor could have prepared Spencer for how emotionally straining it was to see his boyfriend suffering. Y/N was taking this a lot harder than Spencer – and rightfully so, it was his body that was changing.

“Why did I have to have such strong paternal instincts?” He grumbled with his eyes still closed.

Spencer let out a laugh, but it was cut off quick when Y/N whimpered loudly. He knelt down before him and cupped his face. Y/N’s cheeks were warm; his hands clung to Spencer’s wrists like a lifeline.

“What do you need?” Spencer asked softly and Y/N sighed, keening into his cooler palms.

“Can you tell me I’m handsome please?”

“You are the most handsome man in the world, and I adore you every minute of every day.” Spencer kissed Y/N’s pouting lips gently, “Handsome inside and out, I never wanna think about life without you. You just make everything in my life better.”

His fingers moved to brush away a tear that slipped down Y/N’s face and over the ridge of his nose. But he missed and it dripped onto the pillow.

“You’re doing so much for us, for our baby.”

“It’s not even real yet,” Y/N sniffled. His hands finally released Spencer and pressed the heat pad into him.

“It’s gonna be.” Spencer bumped their noses together, “We’re gonna be dads.”

A hoarse laugh met with a hint of a groan in Y/N’s chest, “Yeah. We’re gonna be dads.” That sound and those words were all Spencer needed to feel better. But he wished the same could be said for Y/N. The only thing he could provide was a promise of future relief:

“How about we order in tonight?”

“Ugh, yes.” Y/N burrowed his face into the pillow.

When their bed was made up properly, Spencer and Y/N cuddled together. Unfortunately, Y/N was restless, trying to find a comfortable position while his painkillers kicked in. Spencer kept his complaints to himself, allowing himself to be shifted around in Y/N’s hunt for relief. Honestly it was the least he could do.

---> ---> ---> ---> --->

“The reproductive process begins when a male and a female seahorse do daily pre-dawn dances, intertwining their tails and swimming together.”

“Well, it’s nearly nine, so definitely past dawn.”

“I’m trying to be romantic, Y/N.”

Y/N adjusted the bed sheets around his middle, “We don’t have tails either and - if I remember correctly - your last sexy swimming encounter ended poorly.”

Spencer flushed at the memory of Lila in the pool; another memory turned the pink to red. Y/N had laughed so hard his gut ached when Spencer told him about how awkward he had been around Lila. This was before the context of the case had been disclosed, promptly removing the space for any more laughter.

“Baby?”

Y/N was touching his face. Spencer’s head emptied itself of all thoughts of Lila. This was not what he wanted to be thinking about right now. Y/N’s laughter maybe, but none of the rest.

Tucking a curl behind his ear, Y/N leant in close, “If I’m ready, and you’re ready, you know what happens.” His eyes wandered down Spencer’s face, “And it’s not swimming together.”

But, just as their lips were about to touch, Y/N jerked away from him. “Wait, I gotta brush my teeth first.”

Spencer moaned with indignation while falling backwards onto the bed as Y/N disappeared from view. A few seconds later, he heard the electric toothbrush buzzing. With a burst of energy, he stripped himself down to his underwear – a petty way to get back at Y/N who had made it very clear that undressing Spencer was one of his favourite parts of their sex life.

When Y/N returned, with the minty freshness he apparently desired more than his own boyfriend, he said “What? You already did this morning?”  His eyes looked down at Spencer’s chest and his lips twitched into a pout.

Spencer held back his grin, keeping his triumph at retaliation to himself as he said, “I wouldn’t have minded.”

“That’s the biggest lie I’ve ever heard, Spencer.”

And with that, Y/N crawled onto the bed, over Spencer’s body and kissed him silly. He did much more than that, enjoying their overlapping day off to the fullest before even leaving their home.

At ten to ten, sleepwear scattered about the bedroom floor, Spencer and Y/N sagged into the mattress, wrapped up in each other and the covers. The burning warmth of their bodies drew up two soporific smiles on their faces.

“You know, a seahorses’ body shape means that they’re inept swimmers, and they can actually die of exhaustion.”

Y/N poked Spencer’s sternum. “Is that your way of makin’ fun of my stamina? Give me a few minutes; I’ll be on you like a rash.”

Grinning at such a prospect, Spence continued, “They also mate for life monogamously.”

He felt two fingers touch his cheek, "Spencer, I love you and your endless fountain of knowledge.” Y/N paused to peck the corner of his lips, “But I’m not actually a seahorse. And, though I do plan to mate with you for life, if you wake me up before the sun is above the horizon for a ‘dance’, I'm gonna suffocate you with my new body pillow.”

“Oh, you got your pillow?”

“It’s en route.” Hence why Y/N was content to use Spencer in lieu of said pillow.

---> ---> ---> ---> --->

When Spencer disclosed to Hotch that he would need some time off because he and Y/N were considering having a kid, first thing on a Monday morning, Hotch didn’t let anything on. There was a hint of a hint of a smile though. His eye wandered to the school photo of Jack he kept on his desk, and he was greeted with the memory that Jack almost shared a name with Emily’s cat.

Naturally, Rossi found out next. Technophobe Spencer Reid had left his computer screen on a website for baby blankets, and Rossi had been the one to pass by first. After turning the monitor off, Rossi took Spencer aside in the break room and spoke about how wonderful it was that he was going to be a father. Then he kissed both his cheeks, leaving with misty eyes and a smile that he wouldn’t explain to Penelope passing by. Spencer blinked then finished making his coffee.

The next conference room meeting – the same day and just for an update on the paperwork deadline - Spencer simply decided to drop the information that he and Y/N were planning on having a kid as if it was his thoughts on their next unsub’s motivations were.

Three seconds of silence later and an uproar exploded.

From then on, the week was filled with pokes and ribbing at his upcoming parenthood. A peek into the future.

After making her a cup of coffee, Spencer sat opposite JJ at her desk and asked for advice. Her response: offering Spencer the opportunity to babysit Henry more. Obviously he accepted; more time with his godson was always a good thing. Then she went into how parenting was just a natural thing that he would know when the time came. Not very reassuring on its own, but with his best friend’s support, Spencer felt a smidgen better.

Penelope admitted that she had saved outfit ideas on Pinterest for Spencer – among other members of the BAU. When Spencer dared to enter her lair, she showed him several. Apparently that wasn’t even a dent in her collection, and she had already placed an order on a little bow tie. Spencer left before she tried to organise a shopping trip; neither Spencer nor Y/N were really fans of retail therapy.

Derek was teasing away, “Spencer and Y/N are gonna be baby daddies.” And every single time, Emily would join in. She liked to claim she was the reason Spencer was having a kid, reminding him of when JJ was pregnant. He had been incredibly weirded out by the baby kicking, but Emily had asked if he had considered having “baby geniuses” and he never gave an answer.

To be fair, Spencer never could have seen this coming. That made it all the better.

Apart from when Derek began supplying a realm of baby names, that varied from “oh that’s actually cute” to “oh my god, why would you even consider that a name for a real child?” Spencer was happy to rank them aloud for him.

The cat was only half out of the bag though.

Now Spencer had always been affectionate when he and Y/N were together. But the second it spilled into their public lifestyle, Y/N knew something was afoot. He was quick to pick up on this when he went to collect Spencer up for a chilled date night and Spencer kissed his cheek in clear view of the entire bullpen.

“You told them, didn’t you?”

“I couldn’t wait, but I do have my paternity leave arranged!”

The team swarmed to deliver their congratulations. And it was then that they revealed that they all thought that Spencer and Y/N were planning to adopt or look for a surrogate. Their embraces didn’t spoil the unexpected second part of their announcement; Y/N looked like he’d simply put on a few pounds rather than gained a baby bump beneath his button-up. Naturally, there was even more of a hubbub than before when they discovered that Y/N was already pregnant.

---> ---> ---> ---> --->

 “Spencer, baby, you gotta calm it with the ocean theme.”

“But…” he pouted, holding up the finished mobile. Brightly painted sea creatures and chunks of coral dangled delicately in a circle. Sure enough, there were orange seahorses hovering about their habitat.

“It’s very sweet and I adore you for it,” Y/N kissed Spencer. “Not everything has to be related to seahorses though.”

“I guess not.” Spencer’s defeated tone did not last long. His face brightened and he whipped a blanket adorned with little seahorses and bubbles at the edges out of the cot. “But - this online store was taking commissions, and you always say support small businesses!”

Thank god Y/N had been the one in charge of painting the walls. An underwater mural would have been a step too far.

“You, Doctor Spencer Reid, are so…” Y/N’s hands were up in the air between them, searching for an adjective to describe Spencer appropriately. Then he settled those hands on his shoulders and Y/N kissed him.

When they drew away, Spencer spoke, “I’m so what?”

Y/N shrugged, “Just so.” He kissed him again, lingering longer than before and smiling as Spencer’s hands touched the obtrusive roundness of his belly that pressed into Spencer’s stomach. They were so close to meeting their little bubba.

“So are you.”

“Ok, don’t have a go, I bought this before the ban,” Y/N held out a gift, wrapped in sea-green tissue paper and bearing a blue bow.

Folding the blanket neatly over the bars of the cot, Spencer eagerly yet daintily unwrapped the present. As the tissue paper fell to the carpet, his hands trembled.  Eyes shining, he couldn’t bring himself to look away from the latest scan that was framed by tiny seahorses to thank Y/N.

There was more still, as Y/N explained, “There’s another behind there. I’ve seen the state of the one in your wallet.”

“It got caught at the bottom of the pouch,” Spencer said quietly, unbending the catch on the back of the frame. Sure enough, two of the same photographs spilled into his waiting palm. Truth be told, Spencer had already taped his torn photo together again and it was going to stay in his wallet. This spare would be in the post soon, on its way over to his mother. God, she was so excited to hold a baby again. The photo album would have to do for now.

“Could you maybe recant the ocean ban? Because I saw this and I knew it would really go well with the blanket and the mobile.”

Sighing, Y/N’s head tilted back, “What is it?”

The pretence of annoyance couldn’t be maintained towards Spencer’s face beaming back at him as he held up a wonky looking seahorse plushie. It wasn’t the same one he’d seen before. Some heartfelt child had taken pity on that one and given it a forever home. No, this was a perfect little present for his bubba.

Y/N thought so too as he let a grin settle onto his face.

“Ok, we can keep this one. But no more from now, alright?”

“I suppose. Besides, our baby isn’t our seahorse. You are!”

“You better not buy us a fish tank for my birthday.” A spike of nerves hit Y/N when he couldn’t quite catch Spencer’s eye to confirm his word. “Spencer? Promise me... Spencer!”

---> ---> ---> ---> --->

 “How are you feeling, Baby Daddy?” Derek hugged Y/N who was reclined in his bed. His body pillow propped him up for his visitors.

Y/N wrinkled his nose, “For once, I wish I was a real seahorse and I could have just sneezed her out.”

Katia Nikola Reid definitely looked like she’d been sneezed on when she first entered the world, screaming her teaspoon-sized lungs out. Named after a hero of both Y/N and Spencer, one day old, bundled in a blanket, she scowled at Spencer’s dopey face looming over her while Emily held her tight.

A hoard of presents huddled in the corner of Spencer and Y/N’s bedroom. Emily thought it’d be a great idea to bring the baby an Ikea shark that was bigger than the child – and would definitely take up around half of her cot.

“She’s already got him wrapped around her pinky finger.”

“Yes, she does,” Spencer agreed giddily.

Next, Derek took her in his arms, untucking her arms from the blanket swaddle to give her a fist bump. He swayed her about the room while Katia relaxed a little more. The deep humming in his chest soothed the wrinkles on her forehead. Katia stretched as if to touch his face, and her mouth gaped at him.

“Aww, baby genius is ready for a nap.” Derek yawned too, “Who’s gonna micromanage me while I put her down?”

“Me! Me!” Y/N said, his enthusiasm muted by tiredness. Spencer leapt to his side, helping him out of bed, his teammates watching fondly as he did so. Y/N was allowed out the room first, Derek close behind and clicking his tongue at little Katia.

“She’s so sweet,” Emily said, her eyes on the pair’s backs and the dangling loose blanket from under Derek’s left arm. “I’m so happy for you both.” And she hugged Spencer tight; Emily always gave such good hugs. Good thing she was going to be around to give plenty to his daughter.

Then, down the hall, he heard Derek say with sarcastic resignation, “Oh Spencer, I thought Y/N was kidding when he said no more seahorse themed items.

---> ---> ---> ---> --->

Y/N ended up climbing into the bathtub with Katia. Even as she had grown into her chubby features, looking more and more like him and Spencer with each passing day, she was still so small.

Sitting up with her in his lap to help her out, Y/N lowered her into the warm water. His fingers tenderly rubbed the blackcurrant scented soap on her tummy, copying her expression as her tongue poked out between her gums. Her jerking legs rejected the water that Y/N’s hands cupped to rinse the bubbles off.

“Oh!” Y/N said in surprise as Katia sneezed, “Bless you.”

He heard the front door go, but he let Spencer follow the clues to their bathroom. Sure enough, the Doctor soon entered with his jacket shed, already rolling his sleeves up as he dropped onto the bathmat. A hand curled at Y/N’s chin as he kissed him before it stroked over the damp wisps of hair on Katia’s head.

“Hello. Hi.” His voice was that bit more delicate as he caught Katia’s eye and welcomed her big gappy smile.

Y/N tilted his head towards Spencer. “Good day?”

“I missed you both.” Spencer swished the water around by Katia’s side, “Isn’t it incredible how she’s experiencing all of this for the first time?”

“Oh, for fuck’s sake.”

Spencer giggled away as the surrounding bathwater yellowed and Katia flapped her arms.

“Mind your language.” He said without any weight to his warning, “Our little girl can’t help it.” Then he stood and prepared her towel, a deep-sea blue that brought out her eyes. “Can I feed her tonight?”

“Of course, baby,” Y/N agreed as he lifted Katia out of the tub, where Spencer caught her and bundled her up with skilled speed. As he dried her off, Katia cooed away to herself. She did get a little pissed off when he dressed her up in a clean nappy and a sleepsuit, but Spencer couldn’t take her crumpled expression seriously without the tears.

The rocking chair had to be one of his best investments for his daughter’s room. It soothed Katia from the darkest of tantrums, a familiarity that swayed her. She fit so perfectly into Spencer’s arms and he fit so contentedly into the seat. Her eyelashes fluttered slowly shut as she drank more milk.

Not quite strong enough to sit up on her own, Katia leant fully into Spencer’s hand while he burped her – thankfully not for long. Then it was off into her cot.

Y/N watched him from the doorway as Spencer stroked the apple of Katia’s cheek while she drifted off into slumber. An effortless smile danced on his lips even as he switched the lamp off and welcomed Y/N over to see their sleeping babe.

“Love seeing you with her, Old Daddy Spencer teaching her everything she’ll need to know.” The kiss that followed was certainly not appropriate for their daughter’s nursery, so he took Y/N by the hand, leading him into the hallway. Even then, between the short pecks that pressed against his lips, Y/N continued to talk, “Is this how you felt while I was pregnant?”

Breath hot against his face, Spencer swallowed hard while Y/N said, “Seeing my handsome boyfriend carrying our child? I think I get it now.”

His hand slipped up Spencer’s shirt. It was crystal clear what his intentions were. Spencer was already close to panting when he pulled Y/N flush against him. With more desperation this time, they fumbled around their home until they made it to their bed. Spencer’s hands aligned with the stretch marks on Y/N’s thighs as he grabbed them and pulled him on top.

He huffed as Y/N’s teeth tugged and released his bottom lip, “We have to be quiet.”

“I can be quiet.” Y/N ripped off his shirt in one smooth movement, “Can you?”

Spencer couldn’t give an answer. Instead he pulled Y/N back against him as they fell onto their sheets.

Their first time in months, it didn’t last very long, but it was exactly what they needed.

 ---> ---> ---> ---> --->

 The biggest surprise of the evening was that Rossi put down his drink to hold Katia. To be fair though, he had already had a few. Hence why he was singing and dancing around the garden with Katia in his arms. What a sight to behold, it eased the pain of Derek and Hotch’s absence, their own kids to take care of now.

Eventually Rossi relented, allowing Penelope to take Katia, turning to Y/N who had kept a watchful eye on his actions, “Promise me you’ll bring her over when she’s allowed to eat food.”

“I can’t give her your food for her first taste. She’ll be disappointed for the rest of her life,” Y/N joked, Rossi letting out a boisterous laugh that made Katia giggle in turn.

Penelope got to hold Katia next and show her off to Henry who was very intrigued to learn more about his godsister – Spencer told him that was who Katia was and it stuck. Henry became Penelope’s little shadow until they found a seat for him and a cushion for his lap to hold the baby. His joy unbridled at such a responsibility was adorable. He posed for many photos, while Katia for once stayed quiet.

Spencer was tired but the best kind of tired. A night in with friends, watching his boyfriend and his daughter be welcomed as much as he was, it wasn’t a surprise but it was always a delight. And this moment right now, Y/N cradling Katia’s with one hand squeezing her little foot before he planned to take her into Rossi’s office? What a life they had cultivated together. As he sipped his drink, the bliss in his tummy was not doused by it.

 ---> ---> ---> ---> --->

Slouching on the sofa, Spencer watched with tired eyes as Katia stumbled in the room, her hands held in Y/N’s while she waddled between his legs. Her round face lit up at the sight of Spencer. Her pace increased beyond her abilities and Katia swung forward a little as she almost fell over.

“Oh dear,” Y/N cooed while Katia got back to her unstable feet. “That’s it, there we go.”

Spencer wished he had the energy to properly appreciate this moment, especially since both his boyfriend and their daughter were grinning like they shared a secret.

Katia dropped down onto her nappy-cushioned bottom then began to crawl over to Spencer’s feet. His hands, although dirty, rough and near ruined, accepted her offer and lifted Katia up into his lap. They stayed for safety around her middle, keeping her sat up straight as she looked on him with those big eyes. Eyes that were fresh and untainted copies of his own.

Y/N sat down beside Spencer, leaning in close to Katia so he caught her attention, “Hey, why don’t you show your Daddy what we’ve been practicing?”

Looking away from both her Dads, Katia drooled and pushed her fist in her mouth. Y/N waved until he and Spencer were back into her line of sight.

“Go on, sugar plum.” He pointed to Spencer, “Who’s that?” And he mouthed the answer to her.

“Dadadadadada.”

It was barely above a whisper. But her little grin, the top of a tooth poking out of the centre of her bottom gums, the way Katia looked at Spencer when she said it? A soft “oh” fell from Spencer’s lips and he clutched her close, her chubby arms barely reaching around his neck. His breath shaking out of him, he kissed the thick thatch of hair that had sprouted in his absence. He could feel Katia whispering “Dadadadada!” again.

“That’s me, Katia, I’m your Dada.” He sniffed back the sting in his eyes at the absolute proof that, in his time away from her, she had remembered him. When he moved away, placing Katia back into his lap, he closed his eyes as Katia’s scrabbling fingers rubbed across the tip of his nose.

Katia made a sudden attempt to stand, throwing her entire bodyweight towards Spencer. Spencer’s breath was snatched from his lungs and the tension remained even after he caught her with ease.

“You ok?” Y/N said and Spencer noticed that his hand was supporting his against Katia.

Spencer nodded weakly, “Hmm, you?”

“Better now.” Y/N let his hand go and began rubbing Spencer’s back in the same circular motions that Spencer rubbed Katia’s.

A tug snagged Spencer’s head to the left and he tutted as Katia grabbed at his cheek, “Ow, Katia, no.”

Instead, Katia took a fistful of the next thing she could find, which was Spencer’s hair, and she cried out an identical (if higher pitched) “Ow!”

“You hurt Spencer, not the other way around, Katia. Stop faking.” Y/N scolded playfully.

But Katia repeated Spencer’s outburst again, “Ow!”

Y/N lifted Katia’s little fist from Spencer’s hair, and it immediately clamped down on Spencer’s finger as an alternative to wave about.

Spencer kissed her hand, still so tiny and forgiving against his. He looked at Y/N, blinking fast as he half-heartedly said, “She’s so like you.”

The lock of hair Katia had yanked on curved around Y/N’s touch as he put it back into the disarray of fluff that stood around Spencer’s head, “That’s funny, because I think she’s so like you.”

---> ---> ---> ---> --->

Tilting the pram onto its back wheels, Spencer pushed it up the step and into the aquarium tunnel. Katia lay back in her seat while gumming on her blanket corner. Her eyes were ready to take in the sights.

Y/N knelt before her, suffering a few kicks to his knees from Katia’s excitement. Her pram clips were undone. Little Katia was released into her Daddy’s arms then plonked up onto his shoulders. Her starfish-like hands pressed up against the glass. Her mouth became as wide as her eyes as she pointed at the stingray rippling past. She had seen fish before (Carl and Rosalind at home) but never like this.

“Yeah, that’s a ray, Katia,” Y/N rubbed his fingers over her back, his hands still to keep her steady.

Spencer pointed his finger right next to hers, “They use their electro-sensors, not their eyes, to find their meals which consists of shrimps, clams, and -”

Katia shrieked – interrupting his and she smacked her hands against the glass. No one seemed to mind though. Some patrons in the tunnel even chuckled at her behaviour. Like she needed any more encouragement, especially with Y/N grinning up at her and tickling her sides to elicit more laughter from his daughter.

When Spencer’s hand dropped, Katia shouted again. A little confused, he returned it and Katia took his finger in her hand then began dragging the tip across where the ray was.

“She wants it as a pet, what do you say, baby?”

“I thought you said not to get you any fish for your birthday.”

Eventually Katia was returned to the pram. Her head was thrown back to watch the rest of the tunnel go by. Then she hid her face in her blankie once they were out in the last few exhibits. There was a little tug of war to get her to let it go (she was a lot stronger than Y/N gave her credit for) and see the one other exhibit that both parents were invested in.

Taking her hand again, Spencer squatted beside the pram. “Hey look, the men seahorsies have the babies. They’re just like your Daddy.”

“Your favourite Daddy,” Y/N ruffled Spencer’s hair while Spencer pretended to be outraged. Katia caught onto the dramatic expression Spencer was wearing and copied him with a gasp added for good measure.

“What d’you reckon, any of these were babies when we went to visit last time?”

“Well, Y/N, the lifespan of these seahorses is approximately a year. So they could be.” He knew it was unlikely but, for the sake of the smiles on Y/N’s and Katia’s face, Spencer let it be.

[surveys-at-your-service]

Survey #237

just a warning beforehand this survey has some probably tmi stuff.

Which is better: good 'ole southern food or sea food? Despite coming from and still living in, I legitimately enjoy almost NO southern food. Absolute garbage. I don't enjoy much sea food either though, save for shrimp, so I guess that. Have you ever had a very strong spiritual experience? I dunno. What do you think you want to major in at college? I'm an Art & Design major right now. Minor in? English is my minor currently. What song do you have on repeat lately? Quite a lot, actually. What’s something important you could be doing now? I could be working on finishing the draft to my Writing paper and this week's Art History chapter, but... yeah. I procrastinate all to hell, but I "justify" it with me having SO much extra time in the library while Mom takes her classes that I have a great deal of time to just do everything in there. How do you feel about Circuit City going out of business? I have zero clue what that is. About how often do you go on cleaning sprees? LOLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL what're those? What’s the best story you’ve gone over in an English class? The Outsiders. Is your house haunted? Don't think so. What kind of tissues do you prefer? At least thicker as a single sheet of wet paper and soft. But ultimately it's nota a big deal. What face wash do you use? I prefer the Biore charcoal scrub, but I've been out of that for like... ever, and it's pricey, so we haven't bought any more. So now I use this peach scrub stuff Mom gets. I don't like it much because it's kinda abrasive, so probably bad for my skin, but it at least makes it feel cleaner. Do you reject Satan? I don't even know if a head demonic entity exists. Got no opinion on him. Are you violent? Far from it. Do you use google search or yahoo? Google. Was your step mother terrible? Her political views are fucking trash, but she herself is a wonderful person. Do you know anyone who doesn’t care about anything but themselves? HMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM Are you single? If no who are you dating and for how long? I'm single for now. I don't believe prayer or "good vibes" have any power, but nevertheless, I almost DO pray Sara and I will come back together once she figures herself out and one of us is brave enough to move. Do you enjoy going for walks? Nowadays, no, but only because I'm still recovering from muscle atrophy in my legs, so it hurts quiiite a bit. But in a way, yes, I do enjoy walking as I know it's good for my legs, but it's still painful - but improving immensely. Before it started to get real bad, I fucking loved going on walks down the path by Sara's. When it wasn't cOLD AND WINDY AS A MOTHERFUCKER What are your favorite accessories? Do piercings count? If yes, totally those. And spiked chokers are fucking hot. I'll wear mine again someday, just fkn watch me. Do you wear makeup on a regular basics? Not at all. I am asking for *genuinely* black eye shadow and also quality black lipstick for Christmas, though, for when I do wear makeup. Ours suuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuck. When was the last time you really established your favorite TV show? Oh, idk. It's been years. Write one lyric that really explains the way your life is going as of now? HAHA I'm actually listening to NSP's "Danny Don't You Know" right now and if "you're just going through an awkward phase from 12 to 29" aIN'T ME- Do you ever have any fantasies that involve certain celebrities? Who? Yes. Take an. idk. Wild guess. You can read like one or two of my surveys and already be absolutely sure lmao What is your favorite brand of shoe? Where can you buy these shoes? Converse, and... multiple places?? Does anyone ever judge you for something you naturally cannot help? Oh, I'm sure. Do you support homosexuality in general? Why do you or why don't you? Of fucking course I do. It's natural, and especially after realizing I was bi and experiencing a genuinely loving female-female relationship, I've only grown more ferocious in standing for gay rights. Fuckin try to tell me I can't love her without some sky demon firing me into Hell for it. I'll bring sunscreen. If you had your own personal dance crew, what would you name it and why? I dunno??? Has anyone ever called you an exact replica of one of your parents? Agree? No. Have you ever claimed to be in love when you knew you really weren’t? NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO. I don't joke around with that shit. If you had the chance to meet an annoying celebrity, would you still do it? No?????? Why would I want that??????????? Do you ever lie in the grass during summer or are you afraid of ticks? 1.) That sounds boring and too hot and 2.) I'm fucking terrified of all parasites, so ticks are zero exception. Does it bother you when you see slutty girls getting all the cute guys? *chaotic eye twitching* In winter, would you rather wear jacket or hoodies? Why is this? HOODIES! Mega cozy. Would you consider yourself a good singer or are you tone deaf? Depends on the song, but generally, I don't think I'm real good. My voice isn't stable. Do you think regrets are better left unspoken or should they be out loud? Y'know, a real good question for once. I think maybe... it depends, I guess? Some things are just better unsaid, sometimes vice-versa. I suppose it depends on who you're telling, too. What color is your remote? Does it have any special/interesting features? Uh I know it's black, but that's it. I never use the TV. Name a time when you cried the most: The night of the breakup when Mom drove out to get me (I was walking to his house to talk bc she wouldn't take me), and she had to physically hold me down when we got in the house because I dashed and she knew I was about to do something stupid. I just fucking collapsed. That night is so blurry, but I'll never forget the crying. Fucking NOBODY deserves to go through that goddamn night. What color is your keyboard? It's black, though the keys are rimmed with red light. Have you ever thought about suicide? Too many times. Please please please please seek help if you have even a moment's consideration about it. How do you feel about Obama? I don't know much about him politically, but he was funny as fuck, I do know that. Seems like a chill dude. What was the last lie you told? I dunno, something little. Name 3 things in your purse (or wallet): My Harley Quinn wallet, hand sanitizer, aaaaand my keys. What time does your favorite TV show come on? *shrug* Where is the scariest place you’ve ever been? I haven't been to many seriously "scary" places, honestly... so idk, really. Do you like string cheese? NO. What color was the coolest insect you’ve seen? No clue. Probably some butterfly or moth. Do you own any pink clothing? ... How do I not know this. How do you usually style your hair? It's directed to the right with no part through it and swoops over/close to my right eye. Do you use anything to whiten your teeth? I'm also asking for whitening strips for Christmas. .-. Ah, how gift desires change as you grow. I took awful care of my teeth during the worst of my depression, so yeah, I need them. I'm honestly stunned they're in a decent condition now. Have you ever collaborated with anyone on a project (not for school)? Hmm, don't believe so. What is (going to be) your career? I refuse to drop my career aspiration of a photographer. Not giving up on that no matter what. What is the difference between an alligator and a crocodile? Crocodiles' teeth protrude both upwards and downwards over their lips while alligators' only show downwards; crocs have a more tapering snout, alligators' are more rounded; and crocs are generally bigger. I didn't obsessively watch Animal Planet for nothing, y'all. :^) Were you breastfed as a baby? Yeah. That woman had five goddamn kids with no epidural or anything. She ain't afraid of no pain, and she's also like, MEGA into child health, safety, etc., and while formula-feeding is completely fine and valid, it's factual breast milk is a lot healthier for babies. What does your favorite shirt look like? Man, that's hard to pick. My most comfortable and well-fitting one is a Metallica "King Nothing"-inspired design, which is black and just has some gnarly skull designs 'n shit on it. HA HA WAIT, found it! This is it. Just a few days ago though, my mom's coworker went to the NSP 10th anniversary show in Chicago AND SHE GOT ME A FUCKING SHIRT BC SHE KNOWS I LOVE THEM AND I LOVE IT SO MUCH I SQUEALED SO LOUD AND SMILED MY FACE IN HALF. What is the cutest breed of puppy in your opinion? Do not EVEN with this, omfg I couldn't even try. What is the cutest baby animal in general? Have you, like, SEEN baby meerkats????????????? They're not the cutest for the first, like, two weeks (BUT still cute!!), but once they're outside the burrow? Jesus fuckin CHRIST they are the cutest creatures known to the galaxy and beyond. If we're talkin' like, cutest from birth, maybe cats. I adore kittens. Do you have some sort of odd fascination with anything? Perhaps my "strangest" is what's referred to as "vulture culture," which is essentially using naturally-deceased (usually wild) animals for art, such as those popular crystal-covered skulls, necklaces, creative use of wet specimens, stuff like that. I find some odd beauty and respect in creating art of the dead - it's like... making death beautiful and honoring the creature by immortalizing it in an art form. I personally photograph roadkill (that shit's confused the fuck outta drivers lmao) with the goal of forcing the brutality of it onto viewers and just make you think "okay yeah I need to drive more carefully." I don't know if that technically qualifies as vulture culture as I don't really... use the corpses, but nevertheless, I really enjoy doing it. I do kinda question the morality of it, like you can't ask an animal "hey do you wanna be art when ur dead?", so you're left to decide for it, but I think I lean ever so slightly more towards it being respectful, showing the beauty of its life. I WANT TO SAY HOWEVER, I DO FUCKING NOT support hunting trophies. I even question taxidermy outside of being from hunting considering you're not really making art, something new, some sort of message, out of it. There's no creative purpose other than to show "hey look at this dead animal!!", and besides that, it kinda creeps me out. Wow sorry for the ramble, I'm just into this stuff. Who was the last person to text you? Sara. What did they say? Paraphrased, that life has been a serious cunt to her lately. Which is true. have you ever broken someones heart? He fuckin acted like it after two goddamn weeks. I suppose maybe Jason, though I can't really tell you that since he fucked off after the breakup, so it's not like I was around him. I'll admit his health and general demeanor was withering as time led up to it (I knew something was wrong, he'd just never tell me), so he was obviously suffering. I feel awful for that shit, seeing I was apparently that goddamn stress-inducing. Had yours broken? LMAOOOOOOOOOOOOO I think the whole Internet knows, oops. Do you consider past relationships a waste of time? No. Well, maybe just one. I kinda wanna say Tyler was, but then again, as I was healing, it showed exactly what I would not tolerate. So I guess it had a silver lining. Do you think you’ll be around to see the world end? I wanna say no, but I wouldn't be surprised. It's gonna be climate change (reason #1 for me), the super volcano finally blowing, or nuclear war. Scientifically, we are far, far, far from overdue for another mass extinction anyway. Do you believe in second chances? Yeah, sometimes. Depends. Do you swear? Way more than needed. Swearing a lot just became part of my normal vernacular through exposure to Jason and his family lmao. I was just about always there, and whew does his mom swear like a sailor. Italian New Yorker to the core. To me, "swear words" are just normal vocabulary. What is the nearest photo to you of? A family of meerkats on my wall. Are you good at being quiet? Sure? Who has your heart? I'm guessing you mean romantically? Two people are tearing at it, then. One that's fuckin stupid and needs to stop. Do you like it that way? No. No. Sara is, realistically, the best match for me and a very healthy partner for me. But now that for whatever goddamn reason Jason sneaked back into the picture (metaphorically; he hasn't reached out or anything), hints of obsession/addiction are coming back. I know it's fucking creepy, but I was legitimately obsessed with him. I sent him a perfectly polite and genuine email of ME apologizing to HIM, and I guess that just shot my feelings back up. God, typing this makes me realize to a fuller degree that this is an awful idea. Where is this person? Sara's probably at home; hell if I know where the other is. When was the last time you saw them? I saw Sara this past February. Jason, not since February of '17. Do you prefer desktops or laptops? Laptops because of portability. Sunrise, or sunset? I think maybe sunrise, considering the colors tend to be more pastel. But both are gorgeous. What kind of mood are you in? A confused as hell one. The Jason thing is driving me insane, and TMI WARNING I've been dealing with a fucking ginormous libido that I'm guessing sprouts from my new birth control, and it led me to doing to thing I said I'd never ever do because I only want to share that experience with my partner. Y'know, the "m" word. Saying it feels too weird and dirty. That's the problem: it's so instilled in my head that masturbation is lustful and just "wrong" that my brain is still trying to process that it's okay and natural and, as I found, relieving. I had to look it up and everything to convince my shameful ass I wasn't being "dirty." Hey, on that note: Planned Parenthood offers way goddamn more than abortion, friends. I swear it's beyond wild what I used to believe. But yeah ANYWAY, I'm just feeling weird and still kinda "tail between my legs" today. Do you like fans that blow directly on you or oscillate? Depends on how hot I am. What is one thing you worry about most in long-term goals? "not having enough money to get there.." <<<< YUP this. Right before you fall asleep, what is your usual position? It's hard to tell considering you're falling into unconsciousness... but I THINK on my left side, hugging an edge of the blanket to me. When you have sex, do you keep your eyes closed or open when finishing? I wouldn't know; I've only ever been on the brim before freaking out and we stopped because I was literally scared of how overwhelming the feeling was. That and my family was home and I was having trouble staying quiet lmao. When you have mail do you open the biggest one first, or doesn’t matter? Uhhhh. I honestly don't get mail enough to answer this. I'd probably go for the smallest? When you wake up what is the first thing you usually look for? My phone. Think of the last habit/addiction you quit. What replaced it? Hm. I really don't know. Your phone rings but you don’t know the number, would you answer it? No sir-ree. Do you always take a shower after you have sex? I didn't always back then. Do you let your girl/boyfriend drive, or do you prefer to? 1.) I don't drive and 2.) I'm single. The last time you had sex was it in the morning, afternoon or night? Hell if I remember.