#that aren't so fun to read about and that its a messy messy thing to have
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But at the same time, I felt uneasy at being thrust into an online community which I’d long considered kind of annoying: What’s really striking is the extent to which a disorder associated with garrulousness and substance abuse has been captured so utterly by nerds. To what neurodivergent urges would I now be subjected? Would I be tempted to start drawing pastel-colored webcomics about buying too many notebooks or set up a TikTok account with my boyfriend in which he is assigned the role of baffled but tolerant neurotypical and I am essentially a child? Would I start claiming that innocuous behaviors like “Googling stuff,” “using emojis,” “being able to concentrate sometimes but not always,” and “watching cartoons” arise directly from my newly confirmed condition? Would I begin to construct elaborate metaphors along the lines of “ADHD is basically like having a poltergeist that follows you around and moves your stuff” or “ADHD is having a werewolf that lives inside your brain: the secret is not trying to control the werewolf, but fully embracing that you are this creature”? I didn’t want to do any of those things, but I did start to consider what we are telling ourselves — and one another — about ADHD.
#HES FUCKING RIGHT#my last couple of jobs i was fired from within less than 6 months or i had to quit before i was going to hurt myself#but you won't see that from the silly little memes and such on the internet#no one wants to acknowledge those of us who just Can't do things because the disorder that makes us “uwu quirky” has real actual impacts#that aren't so fun to read about and that its a messy messy thing to have#i'm in a stand off with my own brain and its not fun#its having left fryers on for like two days and causing a massive fire hazard because i got distracted by tossing the garbage and forgot#while closing all by myself#its all those “little” mistakes adding up until its something that can't be ignored#its people being forever annoyed because i keep getting distracted and not finishing tasks up#its trying to force myself to start things#its the comorbidities that make it all worse#its always having to second guess myself and then second guessing my second guess and so on#its losing things no matter how important they are#my card with my SIN number that i need to apply for pharmacare and to do my taxes? missing. its gone.#my wallet with my health card? also missing#“you should've put them in better spots”#and what if i told you that i put them in places i swore i'd remember putting them? doesn't help me now does it#thats what adhd does#but sure. “look squirrel!” amiright? thats so quirky and silly
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The Details on Malleus' Clubwear✨
⚠️messy and overblown analysis lol
also thanks to malleus, i now have little trivia about history of raincoats 💀
I feel like this card's details are so unexpected. I think everyone (me included) expected it to have a sculptor's outfit (I still want the sculptor outfit lol) or a researcher, but we overlook one fact about Malleus' club: his daily activity as a club member is just walking and sight seeing the gargoyles around the campus as told in his School Uniform card.
The crafting part and the researching are just consequence activities of observing the gargoyles, after all, as you admire these gargoyles for a long time, naturally of course, you would be interested in their history and be inspired to create them.
His club's name is Gargoyle Studies Club, and it seems like even the room of this club is heavy on research activities. When Malleus says that he also crafts the gargoyles, he seems to say it as like a little fun fact of the club, that its just a side activity. His "club room" seems to reflect that in his club, they do more reading than sculpting.
Mentioning this, it seems like Malleus' clubroom is the NRC library, in the distance, you can see the mezzanine is the same and the floating books and the lights are also alike. Because NRC library only has one picture used often, its interesting to see it in a different view. The closest we got from his clubroom is from Halloween. but in Malleus' clubwear its just devoid of decorations.
Additionally, since this is his clubroom, Library is also a place Malleus frequents. there's many instance where Malleus stays in the library.
Labwear: I love how quiet the library is in the afternoon. You're welcome to join me there sometime, if you want to see what I mean. Halloween: I suppose I've no recourse but to scour each bookshelf one by one. .... I was gathering reference materials, and before I knew it, I was surrounded by this mountain of books. Dorm Uniform Vignette: No one came after two hours of sitting alone, so I headed towards the library and waited for an hour, before finally making my way to the Headmaster’s Office.
And on the opening of TWST, he was only seen in the Library. (The windows are the same and after this shot, Grim found Malleus sitting beside the window, the background there is the NRC library).
One more interesting thing about the room, there is a globe here which I think is a nice implication that Malleus is also interested in other countries architecture (as shown in his reaction in Silk City). This says that Malleus extends his interested in architecture outside of Europe, bcs he also likes seeing ruins and the history of fallen countries (Malleus Bloom Vignette). Gargoyles are only limited in mostly European settings but no matter what as long as the architecture is functional ig, He'll like them even if they had no gargoyles bcs he's intrigued by History in general.
(on 2nd picture) And this is what I was hyped about the room the most lol THERE'S FINALLY A CROW STATUE ILLUSTRATED FOR HIS CLUB 😭✨🙏
Malleus: Ones with features inspired by ravens are rare. This one is the only one I've ever laid eyes on, as it happens. Silver: I see a raven statue on this wall as well. Perhaps these gargoyles aren't so rare around here.
It seems that this gargoyle is still on the process of being made. I'd like to imagine Malleus is still crafting this and its beside many books bcs he's researching and referencing for its design. Like, he wants to craft a raven gargoyle accurate to the animal and its history.
Additionally, the shape being made looks similar to the raven statues around the Coloseum, but I think unlike these statues, Malleus intends to craft this as a gargoyle, bcs what he's crafting is a raven with an open mouth (for the rainsprout ig), not like these statues whose beaks are closed.
Now, to go about his outfit lol, I really really didn't expect the trench coat (which is literally his dorm uniform in different format lol) to make a comeback lol I thought his SSR are for him to wear different clothes alksdfjlkfd but he looks stylish and classic (true to his furniture style)
But like this is also a good joke where we know long coats always looks good with tall people (that's why he keeps wearing them) lol (Look, there's a reason why Lilia doesn't properly wear his trench coat properly, he knows this clothing is not made for little people lol)😂
OKAY I'm not a fashion history expert, and most that I'll ramble here are just quick searches, bcs I'm always intrigued at how insistent Diasomnia fashion is in being close with Military clothes. even Yana Toboso on 2020 Magical Archive says the Diasomnia uniform is based on military clothes.
mackintosh trench coat history
Obviously, TWST isn's accurate about it bcs they're trying to fit "a fantasy design." Regardless, I believe out of all the dorm uniforms, Diasomnia has the clearest vision of a certain time period (I think their fashion is mostly based on 19th-20th century Europe)
Both his dorm uniform and club wear are trench coat essentially. The wide lapel (the triangular collar), the belts on waist, the buttons/zipper on front, the long length of the skirt, its leather are similar features between them. Notably, trench coats was invented for military purposes, much like how Diasomnia clothes are meant to look like military uniforms.
But I think what sets his club wear outfit apart from his Uniform is the fact that his top has a draping around his sleeves. I feel like its a nice design to tell that his outfit here is specifically raincoat. The closest I could find that relates to 19th century is the Mackintosh, its basically the early invention of a waterproof clothing/raincoat.
Unlike a trench coat, mackintosh has one purpose; to shelter from rain, that's why in Malleus' clubwear he has no stuff hanging around his belt and outfit (accurate to the example of a mackintosh?) unlike his dorm uniform bcs this raincoat is apparently meant to be simple and minimalistic.
Its not like the trench coat which has to be multi-purpose. In his dorm uniform, Malleus has many things around his belt, its accurate to the purpose of a belt in trench coat so that a soldier can hang things on them.
Additionally. trench coat was developed from the mackintosh, which for me solidifies the fact that his dorm uniform and his clubwear really has parallel inspirations
That part of his outfit could also be just a cloak lol. But yh, despite the little "first invented raincoat" inspiration, I do still think clubwear outfit is more trench coat than anything lol, its the double breasted buttons there that convinces me
But its interesting for me, bcs these fashion aren't really "Maleficent-live action accurate." (I'm aware TWST doesnt just take inspiration from one source though) In the movie Maleficent, their fashion was more inspired with traditional clothes, like as faes/the Moors, I expected them as well to have these clothes that makes them look like willow trees to reference that they're more nature connected.
She doesn’t wear garments made of leather or velvet, because leather and velvet don’t fly. There’s nothing heavy. It’s all made of fabrics that are light and airy.
This was also said in the costume design of Maleficent (live action) and why she always wear loose dresses. I feel like costume design of Diasomnia took the opposite turn, probably bcs they want to highlight Diasomnia's importance to strength and this dorm's notable significance in war. (Coats like these basically was prevalent in World War garments).
Moving on, the umbrella lol IT'S CROWLEY'S CANE ALKFJDKLSD Okay no. the difference is that, Malleus' handle has a gargoyle, the reference is probably the gargoyles of Notre Dame (Glorious Masquerade sneak lol) While Crowley is the usual raven statue found in NRC.
I feel like there's smth deep that I want to explain here that a cane (Crowley) is more about providing a support (a cane is for walking support essentially) while an umbrella is more about providing shelter, which is quite accurate for Malleus since he's a person who consistently protects rather than support.
That aside, other than the trench coat, the umbrella was the cutest surprise 😭✨I was so focused at thinking about his outfit that I forgot what should be his weapon for his clubwear alksdfd An umbrella is a genius idea 😭✨
I'm convinced its an umbrella rather than a parasol because Gargoyles are meant to work against rainstorms. So Malleus probably uses this umbrella to observe the gargoyle directing the rainwater on the drains.
When Malleus first introduced the gargoyles on his school uniform, it was a clear day, he couldnt demonstrate a gargoyle working "in action" to Silver.
It's pretty cute to think that Malleus likes to stroll around the rain so that he can see the gargoyles "working hard to protect the buildings from erosion." 😭✨💞
Funny thing is, when Malleus got rained on in Silk City, he used a barrier so he can easily go out in the rain without an umbrella, just his magical barrier is enough.
But I think, he insists on using this umbrella bcs the design feels like it has some meaning (for me lol). The outside of the umbrella is blank while the gargoyle design is on the inside. When it rains hard, and you can see the edges of the umbrella dripping with rainwater, it creates this vision that the gargoyles inside it are directing the rainwater on the ground which probably fascinates Malleus, its like this umbrella is a portable roof with gargoyles lol
I think there are only two gargoyles on his umbrella, they're both dragons i guess, but one looks sharper while the other one is softer in features.
idk who this is supposed to mean, maybe its Meleanor and Levan- alkkfdklsfdlk
#twst#twisted wonderland#disney twisted wonderland#twistedwonderland#malleus draconia#disney twst#lian notes#twst malleus#twst card#twst jp#twst analysis#twst malleus draconia#twst clubwear#twst theories#twst hcs#twst diasomnia#twst wonderland#twisted wonderland headcanons#malleusdraconia#malleus#twisted wonderland malleus#twst theory
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How to set up a research journal
This is just one way you can set up a research journal but it's helping me tremendously so maybe it also works for you. My set-up is partially inspired by this video by Answer in Progress and I suggest you check out their curiosity journal.
Preparation
First you need a notebook. The trick is to find a notebook that you're not afraid to "ruin". We all want a really neat, aesthetic research journal, but the reality looks more like hasty scribbles, but that's okay, that's where the research breakthroughs happen.
I personally bought a cheap lined notebook from Søstrene Grene that I thought looked cute and put a sticker on it. That way I feel good about using it but I also don't mind when my handwriting gets messy because it was only like 3€.
You should also stock up on pens you like writing with. Different colour highlighters and post-its are also a good idea but not a must. Keep it cheap but comfortable.
Title Page
Here you should put down all the really important information: year, title, deadlines, word count, supervisors. Maybe add an inspirational quote to spice it up but keep it simple and relevant.
Key
This should either be your next or your last page. I personally use the last pages of my journal so I can add thing and find it easier. Your key is there to list abbreviations and symbols.
For example, I have different symbols for statistics, dates, new terminology, questions, breakthroughs, important notes and abbreviations for the most important terms in my field. It's shorter to write T9N than Translation.
The trick here is to have enough abbreviations and symbols to save time and effort but not so many that you constantly have to look back and forth between your page and key. They should be memorable and not easy to confuse.
Topic Mind map
If you hate mind maps you can skip this of course or use a different method but what helped me is to visualise all the topics that connect to my research project in a mind map. I then colour-coded the main groups of topics with my highlighters. It helps me to keep an overview on how many topics I need to do research on.
Proposal
If you're writing a thesis/dissertation it can be helpful to have a page set aside for your proposal and take some bullet point notes on methodology, chapter structure, research context, aims and objectives and think of some titles. You can also do this for your lit review and a list of works to include.
Hypothesis and Question Pages
I set aside four pages for this but you can adjust this to your needs. The first page is my hypothesis. It doesn't have to be fully formed yet, it can just be bullet points with five question marks. You can always revise and update it but it is important to keep an eye on what you're actually trying to find out.
The next idea is basically just stolen from Answer in Progress: a section for big questions, medium questions and little questions. These aren't necessarily hypotheses you aim to answer but questions you have about your topic that might be good to look into (maybe they lead somewhere, maybe they don't).
Research Notes
Now comes the big, fun part. Research notes are allowed to be a little messy but you should have some sort of system so you can actually find what you're looking for afterwards. I'm currently just looking at books and articles so that's what my system is based on. You can totally adjust this to include other forms of research.
What I do is that I put down and underline the author and title of my source. Underneath that I use my highlighters and mark the topic of the paper based on how I colour-coded them in my mind map. You might have to do this after you've finished reading. For example, if a text talks about censorship and dubbing in Germany, three of my topics, I will draw three lines in light blue, dark blue and red, the colours I chose for those topics. This way you can easily browse your notes and see which pages are talking about which topics.
When it comes to the actual research notes, I include the page number on the left and then take bullet point notes on whatever is relevant. These are often abbreviated and paraphrased but if something is especially important I will write down a full quote.
As mentioned earlier, I have a key of symbols I use so I can simply put down a '!' in order to differentiate a research breakthrough from a normal note. You can insert your own thoughts much more easily when you know you'll be able to tell them apart later on. At the end of each article, book or even chapter I write down my main takeaway.
Other Notes
This is your research journal and you can do with it what you want. I also added lists of films that might be relevant for my research, a list of databases and publishers to check for papers and tips on research strategy.
If you're working with interviews or surveys you could write down your questions. If you're nervous about your research you could include a list of reasons why your research project is important or why you're doing it. You can include a to-do list or a calendar to track meetings with supervisors. Anything that helps you with your research.
#gradblr#studyblr#studyspo#study tips#research#research journal#dissertation#thesis#thesis writing#academia#academic research#academic writing#journal#bullet journal
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I desperately want to know more about the cursed tulsa au! Is it ok to ask you for more headcanons about it/details from the au?
Anon you have probably asked me the question that’ll give you the longest post I’ll ever have on my account because I was born to yap about this. Nothing super detailed or written out, but a lot of little things about the characters and the world around them! Take some of my written 'headcanons' with a grain of salt!! Although I'm kinda one of the writers, I don't want to call stuff canon without input from the others.
You can VERY clearly see who we talk about the most. Any additional fun facts or info will either be mentioned in reblogs or put in a new post and linked here!! EDIT: Added a read more bc it's so long I'm so sorry
TULSA
200 years ago, the area of Tulsa was cursed by a witch. This witch stated that the poorest born will be shown just as the rest of society views them. Freaks.
A majority of, if not all, of the greasers are cursed. They have to be born in Tulsa for this effect to take place. There are very few socs who are also cursed, but it's a very spl
Those born in Tulsa can leave, but their powers are weakened (or they lose them in full until they return)- this may not be an issue for the human passing ones who just want to live life normally, but folks like Fae and Harpies will likely be hunted down by the government, as their kind isn't seen around. (At least, not to the public eye.)
(Already stated this but I'll say it again) Follows the canon plot excluding Johnny and Dally’s deaths. Johnny ‘dies’ (heart stopped, declared clinically dead— gets resuscitated though) and Dally still snaps and loses it, bolts the second after he ‘died’. Dude gets shot (non-fatally on contact) by the cops, but the gang gets him to the hospital and he lives thank god.
Animalistic traits are pretty common amongst the cursed. Some have horns, others have tails, the harpies have wings, fae have pointed ears and tails, and many of them have sharp teeth.
DARRY
Fae, his power is Emotional Augmentation/Negation & Mind Manipulation. - He can calm people down, elevate their emotions, or clamp down on people's power if they're getting too out of hand. This makes it really hard for him to identify his own emotions. He also has a bad habit of using his power when he's upset, which means it pretty much rubs off on others. He's usually pretty good at keeping it down, but he struggles. - His manipulation is pretty much a workaround for the fact that the fae cannot lie. It pretty much makes him VERY convincing, mind manipulation does that. He'll tell someone something and they'll believe it. Master Gaslighter. That comes with its own issues-- he can't tell if the relationships he's made are authentic due to his manipulation, meaning they might just be telling him what he wants to hear. It bugs him really bad, and he worries that a lot of his friendships aren't as solid as they seem to be.
He had a very messy situationship and falling out with Paul. One-sided crush on Darry's end for a while throughout their friendship (Paul was in HEAVY denial of his own feelings, while Darry knew damn well he loved Paul.) Paul, being the soc he is, didn't like that Darry was "one of those freaks". That was sort of where their friendship shattered, and everything that happened after Bob's death made it beyond repairable.
REALLY hates being fae, and has done a lot of shit to try and prevent himself from being easily identifiable as something not human. He tried cutting his ears off ((due to paul's comment calling them freaks) got caught, and one ear is fucked up now), continuously tried to get his tail injured enough to be amputated (that also didn't work, but now he's got a disabled tail that hurts to move too much), and even gave filing his teeth down a go (also didn't work- made them sharper if anything.)
He doesn't wag his tail, and the gang can’t tell if it’s because he’s never happy or because the range of motion is limited due to his injury. If you’re lucky the tip of it will flick around but he also does that when angry so you can’t tell what the fuck dude is actually feeling
Fucked up his vocal cords growling all the time as a kid when trying to be intimidating, so now his growl sounds like a broken wolf's growl; he can't do it for too long or it fucks up his voice and he'll sound like a chain smoker. (Speaking of, I headcanon he used to/does smoke, just hid it well from Pony n Soda)
Purrs very rarely but when he does, he purrs like a motherfucker. Whole ass jet engine. It is LOUD and you will vibrate if he's hugging you.
His boss is the only one unaffected by his power. "You should give me a raise" 'Not gonna happen, Darrel' "FUC-"
Stole Darrel Sr's name. It's why he's junior /silly
Literally just anxiety personified, tbh. He cannot catch a break and hates himself so bad. He's equally as feral as his brothers but is just VERY good at keeping it lowkey.
All the fae are nature-linked in some way. Darry really likes the sun and warm weather. He's got Disney princess energy too, and animals adore him. (hence Two being drawn to him as a perch /silly) He gets followed home by neighborhood strays and keeps having to tell Soda that no, they can't keep them.
Not even specifically an AU headcanon but when he cracks any bones they pop like forty gazillion times. Cracks his back and it's just a solid 5 seconds of snapping.
Speaking of, he's one of the only people who can hold Two's weight because his wings are heavy. Dude's strong as fuck here for obvious reasons, he's also a little too fast compared to a human, so.
Bites his nails to high heavens. He stopped doing it for a while trying to break the habit but accidentally clawed up someone in the gang wrestling and hasn't let them get long since.
Likes to preen Two's wings, it's the repetitive nature that calms him down. If he's stressed and Two notices then he offers.
Like all the other power havers, he gets super fucking weak and a bunch of other drawbacks when overusing his power. Still developing said drawbacks but I personally imagine he either just gets overly emotional or goes completely robotic and stoic.
Jumped Paul with Dally once bc they were trying to get back all the feathers stolen from Two-Bit. Dally didn't even finish asking who was first before he answered a very flat "Paul."
He's very friendly with Ms. Mathews. She helps them a lot throughout the years and he deeply respects her-- he also finds it very funny to see all the photo album bullshit she's got for her kids. Laughs his ass off at the stupid baby photos of Two n his sister.
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO DIE ON HIS BIRTHDAY. This will be further explained in Johnny's little section but long story short, they were supposed to get into a car accident before the train tracks and Darry would've died. He's got survivor's guilt, to an extent, as his parents wouldn't have died in the crash. Only him.
Had heightened Pony's anger during their confrontation. The guilt still eats him alive.
Unlike the other greasers who's powers weaken while they're sick, Darry's power gets very unstable due to how he's commonly repressing them. The gang knows he’s sick no matter how hard he tries to hide it physically because they’ll be around him and suddenly they’re weirdly emotional, or he’ll say something and they’ll believe him even if they know better.
In alliance with my headcanon for the normal story, I personally imagine he got jumped after his friendship with Paul ended before their parents died (since that friendship breaking apart kinda ruined his alignment with any socs)
Generally just a normal hc but he's got Autism, BPD, PTSD, and a few other things like anxiety, major depressive disorder, and sensory/eating issues. Very financially insecure too.
Used to bite as a kid. That's it. Send tweet.
SODA
Fae, his power is pretty much just a Siren Song. - He can get people to do what he wants with his voice, it's as simple as that. He used it to get Sandy to confess to the fact that the baby wasn't his, uses it to get Darry or Steve to take breaks if they're working a little too hard, etc.
Used his power to get extra cake after dinner or to get teachers to lighten up on him or his friends when they got in trouble. It works very similarly to Darry's manipulation, only Soda's is physical and makes them very compelled to follow what he says. In certain circumstances, people can tell if he's caused them to do/say something. That doesn't stop him, though!
When their parents died, everyone's powers went haywire. Soda had to either scream himself mute or force himself to be quiet so he wouldn't accidentally make anyone do something. He didn't want it to be fixed.
If he overuses his magic then he can't talk for a good few days without it hurting, voice gets very raspy.
Thinks he's a bad person due to the nature of his power. I personally like to think the only time he doesn't mind using them is when it's for the benefit of his friends. He's had to coax Two down from the roof after his jumping because watching all the harpies fly just makes him feel worse. He's stopped Steve from overusing his telekinesis after too many close calls with dropping a car.
Absolutely LOVES his ears and tail. Has a ton of piercings and tries to accessorize them a lot. The polar opposite of Darry in that regard. Likes his sharp teeth too.
His claws are probably the second sharpest, as they get sharper with age IMO.
He's probably the most expressive of the fae; constantly doing stuff since he can't sit still for the life of him. Tail's either swaying, tapping, wagging, or doing something.
Has the growl of a leopard. it is terrifying, when he growled at the socs during the rumble they almost pissed themselves. It scares the shit out of Two-Bit LMAOAO.
Soda has arguably the most average purr out of his brothers, it's basic, simple like a cat's is. He purrs super hard and at pretty much any physical affection sent his way.
When asked for his name by Mr and Mrs. Curtis, he pointed at a Pepsi bottle. Eventually, he swapped it for Soda.
He was jumped by the socs once, and they gagged/muzzled him so he couldn't use his power against them to defend himself. The gang was fucking destroyed when he came home with it, they knew they weren't perceived as equal, but that's beyond cruel.
Also slightly nature-linked. I like to think bees flock to him <3 He's also very good with botany, pretty tied with Pony.
He makes little healing pastes/oils for Darry using Pony's plants when he massages his back.
Soda learned many of his extending-the-truth-to-avoid-lying tricks from Darry, so he's very good at it. Darry is one of the only people who doesn't fall for Soda's shit. Steve doesn't either, just because he feels too bad lying to his best friend.
Soda pretty much gets zoomies. He'll be practically bouncing off the walls and going batshit bonkers. It's insane. Sometimes he's on all fours too, no one knows how he can do it so well.
Arguably the most fae-linked of the brothers; a lot of the little things that don't affect his brothers get to him. All three of them are properly burned by iron, though.
Doesn't like being thanked, as it not only implies being owed something, but he also just feels that he shouldn't be thanked for being kind/having basic empathy.
He absolutely hates salt. Too white for it /j (It's another fae thing, Soda's just most impacted by it)
He's weirdly flexible and moves in super uncanny ways sometimes. No one's sure if it's a fae thing or if he's just.. built like that.
Soda's a smooth talker when using his magic but cannot for the life of him start a conversation without it.
When he found out that Steve's dad was abusive, he nonstop asked for the fucker's full name for DAYS because he was so upset that someone was hurting his best friend.
Stevepop is canon in the writer's eyes, but if you want to you can absolutely read their dynamic as platonic (won't stop us from drawing ship art of them so whoops). I try my best to keep most of the dynamics/relationships open for interpretation (On that note, no shipping the mfs who are family coded I'll actually maim you)
When he snores it rumbles off with a purr. Also sleeps halfway draped over Pony like a bigass weighted blanket.
Yet another normal headcanon thing but he's got ADHD, Dyslexia, PSTD, and DPD. Yeah all of them are a little fucked up.
He collects rocks and crystals. It's a stash he can't bring around Two-Bit because it WILL be stolen.
PONY
Fae, his power is Nature Manipulation - It's honestly just what it sounds like. He can create plants, manipulate them, etc. He's very commonly using them, and they're heavily emotion-tied. Cacti and Venus fly traps when angry, wilted plants and dead bushes when sad, etc etc. The plants he grows most are vines, as they're super useful for him. He can use them offensively or defensively as needed. They have a huge tree in their backyard that he grew.
He's benefited positively from bright sunlight and water. He's incapable of drowning, so when Bob tried to drown him in the fountain he was kinda just,, chillin'. (Unfortunately for these fuckers, Johnny did NOT know that.)
Alternatively, he gets super weak and sluggish during the winter and cold seasons. It's misery for him, he thrives on sunlight and warmth. He's got these greenish-grey eyes when it's the summer/spring and they get super dull during the colder months. Groundhog Day is for losers, the gang knows when spring's coming once Pony starts perking back up.
Plants grow in his hair, mostly little sprouts and flowers like that. Magical flower crowns!! He makes them for Johnny every now and then.
Gets followed by bees and bugs. He both enjoys and despises it because what the fuck dude why are HORNETS chasing him.
Liked to grow flowers to give their mom as a kid, he was a little gift giver to her.
On that note, a motherfucking GOBLIN as a child. Literally, chaos incarnate, absolutely horrible to try and raise because he was so fucking wild.
Does not have spring allergies, lucky fucker.
When their parents died, the house was wrapped in vines for days. Sometimes they still start to overtake and infest due to how many there had been, but Darry usually trims them down went he notices (or when he's got the free time, busy ass)
Has the fattest beef with Steve still. Will trip the guy with his vines and he bites.
He's got a squeaky purr and a squeaky growl due to being young. He growls like a snow leopard cub.
Responds really well to physical affection just like Soda, doesn't always purr to it but does really enjoy it. Avidly avoids it from Two bc the stupid bird will try to preen him and he thinks it's goofy /silly
QPR with Johnny. Pony represents life and Johnny represents death. They hold hands, are the besties ever, and are extremely codependent. Do not romanticize their relationship I'll eat your knees.
Pony knows a lot about flower meaning, as he should. He's also very good with botany too.
Instead of Tim stepping on him in the rumble, he ate shit and got smacked really hard by harpy wings. Two and Tim still aren't too sure which one of them did it.
Very little thing but he has a tooth gap.
Pony tried doing a Darry n attempted to cut his ears to look more human while at the church. It didn't work, so now he's got two little rips that look similar to if you had a piercing torn out. He's generally got mixed feelings about his features.
Tries to keep his emotions on the down low for the sake of looking like a tuff adult, but his tail is constantly giving him away.
Pony made them a fairy around the house with his plants, and it serves as a little thing that lets any of the Curtis' know if someone enters the hours whether they're at home or not. If Pony doesn't want someone at the house while they're away then his vines will yoink them out.
Choosing his name was just him saying a random word in a very ominous voice. Darry added the 'boy' to the end of it.
He makes flower crowns for the hell of it, just likes having his hands moving. Either the gang gets them or they get tossed in a misc pile.
He is SO fucking bad at trying to extend the truth, absolutely miserable at it. He cannot gaslight at all.
Due to his power being weak at Windrixville, he had tried and failed to save Johnny with his vines. Instead, they were pulling him back in a subconscious effort to save himself; plants don't go well with flame, after all.
Had to quit smoking post-Windrixville because the smell bothered him really hard. His voice was kinda fucked up after too due to the smoke inhalation as well.
He's got little burn scars on his hands from grabbing the iron gates at the cemetery where their parents are buried too many times. Darry thinks he's a moron for it.
Clings to Ace like a motherfucker during the winter because she's naturally VERY warm.
Darry has to hold this bitch down to cut his nails when they get too sharp because he'll scratch a bitch while wrestling and play dirty.
Mental stuff again; Autism, PTSD, and Sensory Issues. Also kind of an addict.
He hasn't reached the full potential of his powers because he's still going through puberty.
Poy thrives off sugar, being plant-based and all.
STEVE
Human, but his power is Telekinesis. - It's very simple to explain. He's capable of lifting this with his mind and little physical action. There technically isn't a weight limit, but if he lifts something too heavy for too long it'll drop and he'll be REALLL fucked up, it's exhausting to use too much. Alas, that doesn't really stop him. If he gets pissed off things start floating around him.
REALLY likes to throw cars. It's just showing off honestly. He likes doing little things like that for the hell of it.
His dad makes him float beers to him and he'll very bitterly do it. One time he did it a little too fast 'on accident' and held back smiling as his dad bitched about getting covered in beer.
If substitute teachers are unaccommodating assholes he hucks desks at them. Detention is very worth it.
His telekinesis makes him seem physically stronger than he actually is. When it came to Two-Bit perching on the group, the people who could do it were Dally, Darry, and Steve-- until they found out that Steve was just using his telekinesis to hold him up. He dared to do it once without and long story short they ended up on the floor.
Steve isn't super affected by Soda's magic, but he does stuff for him just 'cause Soda's his best friend.
He uses his telekinesis to fly around with Two sometimes. That sort of stops after Two's wing ends up fucked. Every now and then, though, he'd use his power to give Two-Bit the feeling of flying again. They both go home bummed, Two because he’s no longer ‘flying’ and Steve because he hates knowing he can’t actually help
He did most of the work making a prosthetic for Two, and Soda helped a hell of a ton too.
He can't lie to save his life, just 'cause. He also can't whistle.
Arguably even more autistic for cars like this because of how easy working on them becomes with telekinesis. Floats them up himself to work under them.
Speaking of that, he'll float Soda up to the ceiling if he pesters him too much while he's working on a car. Needs to be absolutely locked in and Soda interrupts that.
He may be human passing but he doesn't... look right. His limbs and fingers are too long for a person.
Was STRUGGLING after the rumble. Had to deal with the pain of bones being too stretched plus broken ribs and fucked up knuckles.
He's got a complex that he's only good for his powers. It's a big sense of insecurity for him. It doesn't help that his powers tie to his mood sometimes too. He's had too many close calls dropping a car he's underneath and almost crushing himself because something gets to him. "You good, Steve?" (literally shaking) "Yeah I'm great"
Soda has to use his magic to force him to take a break, cause Steve doesn't want to stop because he thinks they're all he's got that makes him good at what he does.
His dad was born poor and in Tulsa. Steve isn't too sure what his curse is, but he doesn't want to find out.
He's got a crush on Soda that he, for a while, keeps mistaking for a heavy amount of admiration. You don't want to be him, Steve, you want to be WITH him.
He's got fragile bones like the harpies, the only difference is that his isn't biological and is due to his telekinesis stretching his bones out.
Yeah also mentally ill. Autism, PTSD, and CDD.
Idly floats himself for the hell of it sometimes. If Soda calls him short he'll bitterly float up to match his height or be taller.
TWO-BIT
Crow Harpy. No power besides that I think
He's got all the mannerisms of a crow and of birds in general. He likes to give his family and the gang shinies; flies by and drops bottlecaps or random little trinkets and dips. Sometimes physically throws them at people.
He dives at people in the street sometimes if they have something shiny. He’ll also dive-bomb friends and just pick them up like a claw machine. Dally’s the most common victim of this.
He's very intertwined with the bird instincts too. Nests, preens, chirps, whistles, etc. Very fucking loud and will not shut up. Clicks when he's all angry and shit.
Two’s mom is a harpy and his dad is human. Neither of them took after him, and he wasn’t happy about that. Two-Bit constantly had his needs and habits as a harpy repressed by his father; this included having his feathers clipped and not being allowed to preen or nest. His mom wasn’t able to do anything about it for a while, as she was too busy working to keep a roof over their heads.
He knows she is doing her best, and he doesn't blame her for not being able to protect him from that. Two's a huge mama's boy. he used to hide in her wings when he was little.
He taught his sister to fly and had taught himself by jumping off the roof. It’s why he’s got his tooth gap.
His mom has a photo album of him and his sister as they grew, including their feathers as they molted. "Baby's first molt!" and he looks like a blended-up cotton ball. Darry loves these photo albums.
Dally calls him Songbird and Freckles. Two calls him Dimples
He likes to bleach the tips of his feathers and dyes them with his sister, since her feathers are still light enough to dye without bleach.
He preens with the gang and will also try to preen the gang. It’s a bonding activity but bc they don’t have feathers it’s usually just him fucking around with their hair. It usually ends with them wrestling a pissy bird that by god NEEDS to get that knot out of your hair or he will tweak. Pony hates it the most, Darry and Soda are the only ones who don't resist.
If Darry whistles around him he'll shoot over and perch on the guy.
Even bigger kleptomaniac in this. Always has something, Dally's been given at least six switchblades over a week.
He can mimic voices and sounds really well. Uses Johnny's voice to get Pony's attention once. "Oh so you'd get up the second Johnny calls BUT WHEN I DO YOU IGNORE M-"
Horrible flier when drunk, it's hilarious to watch.
If you throw a piece of cloth thick enough to block out light over his head, he falls asleep.
Cannot for the life of him get through doors on the west side because they aren't friendly for wings.
His heart beats like 200+ times per minute. Everyone thinks he's having a heart attack or something when they first hear it.
Alternatively, he thought Dally was dying when he first heard how slow his heartbeat was.
He goes into torpor during really cold winter days or if he's super fucking exhausted. Went into torpor right after his jumping and Dally was convinced that he was dying.
Two gets very territorial and defensive of the gang because they're "his flock". Gives people death stares if they're getting too close. He looms threateningly over the shoulders of his friends if he doesn't like the person they're talking to. It usually scares them off.
He likes to take the gang and his family for flights. Scoops em up and just goes, most of them enjoy it, the ones with a fear of heights? Not so much.
If the younger members of the gang get sick he WILL shove them in a nest and pretty much hover over the person. He gets mama-bird traits from his mom.
Alternatively, even if Darry gets sick Two will hover over that motherfucker. He will wrap that man in a blanket and not let him leave. Just swaddles all the fuckers.
He's got good timing with dive-bombing people. Darry fell off a roof once and BAM suddenly he's in the arms of a very energetic harpy.
Was a really small kid and just shot up overnight. One day he was up to Dally's chest and the next he was at his nose. Dally hated it.
He's docile by nature but when he gets violent it's HELL. He's got sharp claws and talons along with sharp teeth, my guy can do some damage.
Two hates cats and has absolute beef with them. He and the rest of the harpies are scared shitless by Soda's growl too, if Soda growls he whips his head around 180 and looks around frantic. Soda both feels bad but laughs his ass off.
Two (and the other harpies) can't see glass. He's walked into the glass at the DX and slams his head against car windows trying to look outside. He's absolutely mesmerized by glass cups because why is the water FLOATING?
He has to sit in the bed of Darry's truck because his wings don't fit.
The gang went to a mirror maze once and Two got stuck in it for 2 hours. Came out with a busted nose all pouty because those mfs left him in there how dare they.
The Curtis boys can mimic bird sounds really well, they whistle at Two-Bit and his head shoots up at attention.
He's afraid of ceiling fans.
Harpies generally don't like eating bird meat due to etiquette and cultural stuff, but Two's dad would force him to eat chicken as a kid.
He adores seafood and goes fucking bonkers for it.
He got struck by lighting once. Walked into the Curtis' house singed and just went "So I might've made a mistake." Somehow he wasn't too hurt.
He tries to puff up to look intimidating but people just laugh because it's fucking cute. If he wants to look scary all he has to do is smile, yet he doesn't.
He emotes a lot with his ear feathers, they're constantly moving.
Like most birds and other harpies, his bones are hollow. They're arguably made of stronger bone material but the insides are hollow so you can snap 'em with ease if you put enough force behind it.
His neck is like a chicken's, if you move his body his head will stay in one spot if he wants it to.
He liked to just sit and linger on Dally's shoulders when they were kids. Dally didn't mind.
His feathers travel up to the back of his neck and hair; the ones up top closer to his hair are a bit curlier.
The gang can play one-sided fetch with him if they want to. Toss a shiny and he dives after it; he just won't bring it back.
He's got a whole drawer that's just full of the shit he collects. Bones, bottle caps, coins, broken jewelry, glass, etc.
He gave everyone in the gang one of his feathers. All of them wear it on their person.
There's a rumor going around in soc society about Mothman. It's just Two-Bit in really bad lighting. He got moth man status because a soc was closing a shop one night and turned and just saw these BIG ol glowing eyes staring through the window in the darkness of the evening.
He goes after rodents and small bugs. His mom used to have to wrestle mice out of his mouth and he'd cry after.
His baby photos are 90% blurs and heaps of feathers because he ALWAYS had zoomies. The only photos he's peaceful in are the ones where he's snoozing.
If they were invented in their time, Darry would put claw caps on Two if he's resisting having his talons cut. They'll watch him try his damn hardest to just tolerate them before eventually relenting like "oKAY FINE I'LL CUT THEM."
In terms of a specific species, he's a Fish Crow.
TWO-BIT CONT.
His jumping went REAL fucking bad in this. Bev took a lighter to his wing and put her cigarette out between where they met on his back (alongside still burning his face). They didn’t go for both wings, because something was much more cruel about taking one rather than both.
That shit fucked him up for so long, not only was he unable to fly, but there was all that physical and psychological pain that came with having his freedom torn from him. He was made for the skies and now he’s forced to wander the ground with the same people who hurt him.
He self-isolated up until the rumble because he couldn’t stomach the idea of the group seeing how ‘gross’ his wing looked. His mom cried her eyes out when he came home after being jumped, even though he tried hiding the damage from her.
She tried to preen him to make him more comfortable but they couldn't get more than halfway through before he broke down sobbing. “Why couldn’t I have just been normal like dad” when his mom’s preening him bc he doesn’t want to keep feeling the pain in his wings. For a few days after he hesitated even letting her near just because the pain scared him.
HATED Marcia for a good bit after his jumping. She didn't partake in it, sure, but she watched and did nothing. It took months before he could even stomach looking at her.
When his wings recovered, he used to climb on the roof and watch the other harpies fly. He'd feel the breeze through his feathers and against his face and try to convince himself that just maybe, he was up there with them. Soda has to coax him back down with his power because he is only making himself feel worse. Two was bitter at the other harpies for a very long time.
Can't handle the smell of smoke from cigarettes, though. Fire itself in some cases (mostly Ace's fire) is fine, it's cigarettes that bother him.
School was hell on earth for a good while because tight spaces and sensitive wings don't go well. He usually ended up late to classes bc he had to wait for the halls to clear to leave. He would've dropped out over it if he wasn't afraid of upsetting his mom.
His balance was fucked up for a good while due to the difference in weight.
Steve and the rest of the gang made him a prosthetic for his wing. He cried, and it fit like a glove.
Despite getting that freedom back, though, he kind of hates it. He has to relearn to fly, and it's frustrating it causes a lot of resentment because he used to be able to fly perfectly and now he struggles. He hates that he needs to rely on this prosthetic to be free.
Two-Bit and Johnny bond over having had a part of their freedom taken and now needing aid to regain it.
There's no canon ship for Two in this but the writers fuck with Dar-bit and Mar-bit hard lmao. I'll probably be doing a lot of Dar-bit stuff for them.
AuDHD and PTSD, send tweet. Maybe ODD but I'm still thinking about that one. Major separation anxiety.
JOHNNY
Human, he's what we've been calling Death Tied - He's got a sixth sense where he can tell if, when, and how a person will die. If a person's death is coming up, he'll get flashes of the event; what killed them, their corpse, etc. It freaks him out sometimes, depending on who it is. I like to imagine he gets ‘death chills’; which is a similar thing to impending doom, only he feels it for others.
His curse was NOT biological. As a kid his parents almost killed him; Death saw this, decided it was fucked up, and decided to take in this small child as its own.
Johnny's teeth are just a little too white and his eyes a little too black sometimes. He’s got something akin to vitiligo after he received death’s blessing, and it outlines and mirrors the shape of his skeleton.
Butterflies follow him since he's death; unlike Pony, who has beef with the bees that follow him, Johnny enjoys their presence.
Doesn’t like to use his power much but (pre-jumping) absolutely will tell a soc with a flat expression when and how they’ll die.
He’d saved Darry from dying at the cost of Mr and Mrs Curtis’ lives. Initially, Darry had been planning to join their parents on the car ride to get the chocolate frosting; and Johnny had come over early to get away from home as they were getting ready to leave. He’d barely gotten to walk past the fae when he got the flashes occurred. Johnny watched everything— saw the crash, the way windows broke and metal crumpled inwards; watched the life drain from Darry’s eyes— and it freaked him out. He couldn’t for the life of him explain what he’d seen, but he wouldn’t let Darry leave; clung to him and wouldn’t let go.
Darry tried using his manipulation to get Johnny to let go, but it didn’t work, and that’s what stopped him from leaving. Their parents went alone, and it was the delay in waiting for Darry to come to the car that caused them to be on the tracks that day.
Johnny hasn’t forgiven himself for it. He thinks that maybe, he could’ve done something different and saved them all. He apologized for weeks— and still apologizes sometimes nowadays.
Johnny has never feared death, it’s hard to when you’re related to it yourself. When Bob died, he didn’t feel remorse until a few minutes after he was stuck there with the corpse. He's the boy of death, this is his normal- it’s only when his humanity returns that he realizes what he’s done.
The only time he's feared death was during/after the church fire. His power practically disabled itself due to how weak he was, and he was terrified. This was going to be it, he was going to lose his life at 16-- and then he woke up in the hospital.
While he was clinically dead, he spoke to Death. It was a simple interaction, just a reassurance that it was not his time to go yet. There was a feeling of comfort in their words, too.
Sometimes, when he sleeps, he sees Death again. One of the first times they'd spoken was when Darry was supposed to die. "Hey bud, that fae was supposed to die-" "No."
Before they could afford to get him mobility aids, Steve and Two helped him get around.
He's got a really uncanny feeling about him, people do not usually like it- Dally enjoyed it, though, 'cause he's fucking bonkers. It doesn't help that he doesn't blink.
He can easily float on the surface of bigger bodies of water because corpses float in water after they begin to decompose.
He's unnaturally cold like a corpse, the cold doesn't bother him because of that, but he does like feeling warm.
GAD, C-PTSD, and Autism. He's also selectively mute but is very vocal with the gang
Johnny still smokes, but being around the smell of smoke for too long makes him panic.
DALLY
Human, he’s the only one of the gang without a curse. However, he’s recently discovered a bit of an,, unsettling change to his daily life.
Dally's been seeing things. Apparations, spirits, whatever you want to call them. He'll see them in the corner of his eye and in certain circumstances can engage with them directly. He's not a fan of it.
Born in New York, moved to Tulsa when he was around seven; Two-Bit welcomed him with a stupid amount of enthusiasm and they’ve been buddies since.
He doesn’t talk about his birth family, no matter how much prompting there is. As far as he’s aware, Buck’s probably the closest thing he’s felt to an authority figure— at least until he grew older and colder, ignoring the role the adult had in his life.
He’s only capable of holding Two’s perching weight because he’s been doing it since they were kids.
He's very good at coping with his chirps too. Likes to whistle and watch that bitch shoot up and stare.
Dally tries his damn hardest to downplay how much Two (or any of the other greasers) mean to him. Vulnerability like that makes him feel too weak, and after having shown that weakness once, he doesn't plan to do so again.
Met Death while unconscious after being shot by the cops. The only reason he's alive is because Johnny would've been destroyed, and Death didn't want to deal with that shit.
Sometimes he feels a little weird about being the only human, but it's more out of a sense of not necessarily belonging there. It's an unconscious thought, one that only manifests in the rare moments when he realizes he feels just as out of place as he did in NYC. Dallas Winston is merely a boy who has never felt at home.
Dally, funnily enough, doesn't pass well as a human. Everyone outside the gang is convinced he's a vampire because he's so pasty and his canine teeth are naturally sharp.
He successfully convinced the gang that he could talk to and control rats. Two is the only person who knows he lied because he bought him a rat once and nothing happened.
He finds out through Two-Bit and Ms. Mathews that Fae can't lie and uses it to blackmail the Curtis bros, since nobody else knows that.
Yknow how he can see ghosts? One time he woke up on the Curtis' couch to Mr and Mrs Curtis in the living room. It freaks him out so bad that he unconsciously blocks them out right after. Blinks really hard a few times until they're gone.
He's the most feral of the gang. It's the New Yorker in him. He's not supernatural, sure, but he will fuck shit up. Absolutely off his rocker, launches people, and rocks their shit.
Dally's the one who found Two-Bit after he got jumped. He's so pissed ab what happened with Pony n Johnny that he wants some sick gratitude by seeing exactly where Bob took his last breath, so that’s where he finds him. He didn't know how to react, panicked HARD.
He's arguably the closest with Johnny and Two-Bit, he's just more open about that connection with Johnny. He's also pretty good friends with Darry, as there are a lot of little things they've found mutual ground on.
He's got claw scars littered around from the harpies. The ones from Two are due to the fucker dive-bombing down to grab him with his talons a little too fast, and the others are from fist-fighting Tim.
He called Ms. Mathews mom once and has not walked physically into the house since out of pure embarrassment. He doesn't even stand on the lawn that's how embarrassed he is by it all.
More general headcanon stuff fuck you but BPD, PTSD, intermittent explosive disorder, and ODD too.
Also a general headcanon but Two-Bit convinced him to get a tattoo during one of his own sessions for his sleeve, so he's got a little switchblade on the back of his leg.
He thought Two-Bit was having a heart attack the first time he heard how fast his heartbeat was.
Non-Canon but a fun fact. If he did die to the cops, he would've come back as a ghost.
ACE
Human, arguably the least passing as one, and she's got pyrokinesis - As usual, it's very self-explanatory. She can create and control fire with the mind, but there are a few limits to it. She can't produce large flames from her hands, and so she usually has to carry a lighter to kickstart her power if needed.
Ace can make very small fires on her fingers but they're not usually big enough to be manipulated. She can go larger as needed, but it'll drain her out. Likes to just light people's cigarettes and make the flame jump from finger to finger.
When she gets super pissed off, her hair sets on fire. The gang uses her to roast marshmallows sometimes.
Ace is unofficially adopted by Ms. Mathews. Shit's been reprised, it follows her canon backstory via Tilly, but she's still very very close with Two and is practically Ms. Mathew's kid.
On that note, has a very familial relationship with Two and his sister. They grew up together, how could they not be? They're absolute fucking chaos when paired, though. She likes to call him any bird other than a crow to see him puff up all annoyed.
She used to threaten to turn him into Thanksgiving dinner if he kept pestering her.
Absolute fucking goblin. She has tried so hard to convince Cherry to help her burn half of the soc's houses down. "We'll spare yours don't worry!!" "N..No."
She can't really swim and it could arguably kill her if she's in water for too long, but if she's mad the water will boil away.
VERY warm by nature for obvious reasons, literally a space heater. Pony flocks to her in the winter because she's so warm
Looks the least human of the humans. She's got horns underneath her hair that are still growing more, and her hands are coated pretty permanently in ash. She gives off a subtle glow and her eyes/teeth look way too bright in the dark. Her eyes burn brighter when she's upset.
Normal headcanon but arguably has the second-worst criminal record in the gang.
She feels very guilty about her power due to how much trauma the others in the gang have gone through relating to it.
Unrelated to the AU itself but she's a lesbian. IDGAF what anyone says.
Ace infatuates Two-Bit by putting on a ring and waving her fire fingers in front of his face. The fire's light bouncing off it makes it look extra shiny, she uses it to get him to do stuff for her. "Oo oo you wanna buy me a Pepsi soooo bad"
Literally just bullies him. They have no clue who's older because Ace doesn't know her birthday but she's self-titled him as her little brother.
Couldn’t control her powers as a kid, the gang is quite literally the first group of people who understood that and didn’t isolate her because she kept accidentally burning them when she got too excited (its emotions tied to an extent, hence why she’s started only channeling it by bottling up her anger until she needs to burst)
If Ace uses her power too much she quite literally burns out. Can’t use any part of it for days and is super fucking exhausted. Winter is her absolute beloathed because it’s a pretty similar feeling she gets. She's very susceptible to frostbite.
She used to make jokes about burning Two’s wings off whenever he’d bother her. For a good while she’s way too afraid of even being close to him after his jumping because she doesn’t want to hurt him with her flames. Two trusts her in full even after the accident but her ass is NOT taking any risk, he thinks he pissed her off somehow for a while until it clicks when he watches her extinguish whatever little flame she’s fidgeting with on her fingers the second he walks in. “I trust you." (wearily) “Should you?”
PTSD and ADHD, along with some pretty bad sensory issues & maybe Pica.
Had a really toxic situationship with Bev. She couldn't see the red flags until Bev harmed one of her own. Their relationship was broken off the mere second she found out who hurt Two. Literally blew up at Bev and burnt herself out due to being so fucking angry. It parallels Paul's "Why would I like a freak like you" towards Darry with Ace telling Bev "I can't believe I loved a monster like you."
Rarepair/Crackship time. Ace x Cherry is canon. We call them Fireworks. They're very slow burn. Cherry needs to come to terms with her feelings and Ace needs to trust another soc again after what happened with Two n Bev.
OTHER CHARACTER THINGS
All of the Shepards are Vulture harpies.
Paul and Cherry of two of the only socs with powers. Cherry's got something akin to electrokinesis and makes little sparks with her hands similar to the way a bomb with a lit fuse would behave. Paul's a witch, but his manifested pretty late; probably post-rumble.
Cherry's fingertips are calloused from her sparks, and she's got a bit of resistance to fire. Her hair sparks like a bomb/fireworks when she gets super pissed off. Ace has tried to weaponize this for the silly.
She tries to hide her sparks. Wears gloves to keep them down and if she has to have them off will clench her fists, even if it burns her.
She's desperate to be good enough to her parents. They're ashamed of her due to her sparks, and all she wants is their approval.
Cherry's got major internalized homophobia for a while, very comphet. Eventually, she comes to terms it.
Paul tweaked the fuck out at first and had a panic attack before realizing he kinda fucked with it. Still has a huge bias against the greasers, though. It's something close to a god complex, but he just thinks he's superior due to his financial status as well. He's just got basic shit like rituals and spells.
Was convinced Darry was using his power on him when he confronted him about the Fae having loved him, cause he cried. It wasn't a heavy cry, just a bitter stare, "Why would I like a freak like you?", and silent tears. Darry still doesn't know how to feel about that.
(9/18 Edit: Take the Paul stuff ab his relationship to the greasers with a grain of salt, we’re changing stuff)
The only reason it's tolerance and not raw hate is because Paul was NOT in on Two being burned 💀Turned around to see Bev with her light and was just like "Well I guess we're cooking chicken tn????"
The socs who jumped Two wear his stolen feathers. The only socs with neat feathers are Cherry and Marcia.
Two's little sister (who I call Molly) once asked their mom (who I call Carolyn) why they couldn't give Two-Bit their molted feathers to 'fix his'
Ms. Mathews has pretty much adopted the entire group emotionally by now. She tries to help Darry with financials but Darry is. Darry.
MISC STUFF
Two-Bit used to get caught in and fly around tornados and Pony always caught sight of that shit. They liked to play a game where he tried to catch him while Two avoided his vines. If they couldn't get him down, Pony would get Soda to ask Steve to use his telekinesis bc Steve would say no if Pony asked.
They also play a game where Steve will fling a member of the gang as far as he can and Two dives after them. It's like fucked up football; Dally offered to be thrown and it was the most fun the three have had-- until they had to stop 'cause Darry caught them and almost had an aneurysm.
The DX windows used to be blank and empty but Soda and Steve started putting stuff up on them so the harpies don’t slam into the glass.
Steve puts Two-Bit in air jail if he tries snatching anything shiny from himself or Soda.
Two, Johnny, and Steve bond over having shitty fathers. Two n Steve do it the most since Johnny doesn’t like to talk about it, but Steve and Two will bitch to hell and back. Johnny's a part of the conversation but just nods and listens. If they have a rough day with their dads, the three of them end up hanging out together.
Johnny, Dally, and Two make people the most uneasy. Johnny's got these blank, dead eyes, Two's smile feels predatory, and Dally's Dally.
All the greaser Harpies look out for one another. It doesn't matter if they're not from the same gang, or if their gangs have tension; you look out for one another. They may necessarily not be each other's flock, but it’s natural for them to stick together.
The harpies love to play fight. They will absolutely beat the shit out of each other and then grab lunch as if nothing happened. All of the harpies have bird habits. Most of them sleep on their stomach.
Dally took something shiny out of Two's hands when they were kids, and Two cried.
Ace makes fun of Two-Bit's choice of men because they're lesbian and bisexual solidarity. "Thoughts?" "And prayers, you'll need them." The only time she ever was like ‘Wow you made a good pick’ was when he jokingly said it about Darry. "Thoughts?” “Your only good pick, He’s got my blessing.” ">:0"
During the real cold months when Darry has to decide between heating or food on the table, Two and Ace practically move in bc a walking blanket and space heater.
{ Tags List: @nova-drawzz @timewing06 }
#foster talks#the outsiders#the outsiders musical#yapping#cursed tulsa#cursed tulsa au#the outsiders au#darry curtis#darrel curtis#dally winston#dallas winston#johnny cade#ponyboy curtis#sodapop curtis#steve randle#two bit mathews#keith mathews#curtis brothers#marcia the outsiders#cherry valance#paul holden#darry curtis x paul holden#darry x paul#autism is stored in the balls#alternate universe
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congrats my darling!! you deserve it 🥺
🍪 could i request a nsfw alphabet with robin? 💖
𝐨𝐩𝐡𝐞𝐥𝐢𝐚’𝐬 𝟏𝐤 𝐜𝐞𝐥𝐞𝐛𝐫𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧 // omg tysm love, of course u can!!! i have answered a few of these questions about her so i just copy-n-pasted my previous answers for some xoxo
a: aftercare (what they’re like after sex) very cuddly, rambles a lot about how much fun it was and how hot you are, giggles at the messy sheets, and probably wants to stay up talking after.
b: body part (their favourite body part of theirs/their partner’s) to quote steve harrington, "you like boobies" ... robin likes boobies but also thighs.
c: cum (anything to do with cum basically) robin gets really wet, which she initially thought was a bad thing until you assure her that it's a really good thing.
d: dirty secret (a dirty secret of theirs) the obvious answer would just be her liking girls but if you’re fucking her, you already know that, sooo i’d say its maybe her inexperience - robin prides herself on her intelligence and ability to get shit done regardless of her nerves, but admitting that she has never even kissed anyone is something she would be embarrassed to do, especially if she’s trying to impress you
e: experience (how experienced are they?) she is completely inexperienced, like, has never even kissed a girl before you!
f: favorite position (this goes without saying) robin likes to have you sit on her face, or to just lay between your thighs. if a strap is involved, she likes to fuck with whoever's being penetrated on top.
g: goofy (are they more serious/humorous?) tries to be serious but ends up giggling and being silly
h: hair (how well groomed are they are, etc.) robin isn't big on shaving but she does definitely keep herself trimmed.
i: intimacy (how they are during the moment) robin is giggly, talkative, and completely lovestruck.
j: jack off (masturbation headcanons) robin really doesn't masturbate?? she's inexperienced and a little behind when it comes to sexual awakenings - she figured out she was a lesbian like two years ago, ok?? and she doesn't really understand...how...and would probably need to read it in a book or have it demonstrated on her.
k: kink (one or more of their kinks) personally, i don’t see robin as super kinky, or at least, she’s not super experienced/informed and therefore wouldn’t know much about what she’s into. however, i can see her being into dom/sub dynamics (i think she’s more of a sub) and some of the more common things like edging and praise. i also think she has a tickle kink but that is just me projecting ajdkdjkdf...
l: location (favorite places to do it) robin would never risk getting caught in public, for many reasons, so her favorite place to do it is in bed - classic, comfortable, intimate, and safe from prying eyes
m: motivation (what turns them on, gets them going?) robin is turned on by just about everything you do, but she is motivated by the idea of pleasuring you, like, getting down on her knees to go down on you like a woman starved. she has a people-pleasing tendancy that definitely extends to the bedroom.
n: no (something they wouldn’t do, turn offs) robin doesn't like behind restrained or hurt in the bedroom, mostly because of the whole russian spy thing, but even without the added trauma, it just really isn't her thing.
o: oral (preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc.) robin loves oral sex from both ends. she prefers it to fingering and before getting more sexually involved, i feel like she didn't really consider that straps were a thing and assumed oral was the best-case scenario.
p: pace (are they fast and rough/slow and sensual?) robin likes to take things slow. when she's nervous, her instinct is to be frenzied, so she prefers to calm herself and do everything slow to savor it.
q: quickie (their opinions on quickies) robin prefers to just have sex in a more typical, vanilla way. in bed, take things slow, lots of kisses...so nah, quickies aren't her thing.
r: risk (are they game to experiment?) robin is down to experiment with most things, but she prefers to stay in her comfort zone most of the time, since sex is still new and intimdating for her.
s: stamina (how many rounds can they go for/long do they last?) robin is able to go for a long time, and can have multiple orgasms like most vagina-owners can - she can keep at it for a while.
t: toy (do they own toys/use them? on a partner/themselves?) robin is rlly into toys!! she loves strap-ons, whether that’s being fucked by one or fucking someone else. vibrators are also great, she has a tiny one of her own that she masturbates with, but using it with a partner would unlock a whole new world of fun!!
u: unfair (how much they like to tease) robin isn't good at trying to be a tease, because she will likely give in before her partner, lol.
v: volume (how loud they are, what sounds they make) robin is loud and talks a lot, she can’t help it - it’s sometimes nervous rambling and sometimes mindless babbling from pleasure
w: wild card (a random headcanon) self-indulgent one here, apologies - robin is super ticklish and often will accidentally laugh and twitch during sex when you touch her too gently or in a senstive spot. luckily, that isn't a turn-off for her, it just flusters her, so if you didn't mind, it could be something fun to play with...
x: x-ray (let’s see what’s going on in those pants) robin has a pretty bush, it's dark and doesn't match the curtains yknow?? her pussy is a dark pink and gets wet so easily, she's almost always glistening by the time her pants are off and you can spread her lips...
y: yearning (how high is their sex drive?) robin has been yearning for a relationship for so long, when she finally has it, she wants to fuck whenever humanly possible. it's not even that her sex drive is high, it's more like trying to make up for lost time.
z: zzz (how quickly they fall asleep afterwards) robin is pretty hyper and struggles to sleep most nights anyway, and sex doesn't really tire her out as much as it probably should, so she'll be down to stay up and hang out afterwards.
#💌 𝐈𝐍𝐁𝐎𝐗.#ophelia’s 1k celebration#reidsbtch#robin buckley imagine#robin buckley smut#robin buckley x reader#robin buckley#stranger things hcs#ophelia's headcanons
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A Wolf and A Snake (Wriothesley x Reader)
Letters' Interlude - 1
A/N: So these aren't official chapters per say, just an extra to the story that explores the yandere dynamic I'm trying to put forth! Also, I love listening to romantic music while writing for this 🩵 Until I finish Chapter 2, enjoy!
Synopsis: Being a noble meant that marriage was a chess game, not an affair of love. Unfortunately for the pristine Balthazar family of Fontaine, Y/N has long been enamored with love and sought it out before their priorities. After her grey, boring time of courtesy and fake niceness, she meets Duke Wriothesley, who makes her yearn for the first time in her life, and it's the same for him. Threatened by the idea of losing this first, it seems they'll stop at very little to be together...
Warnings: Obsessive yandere language, graphic details in Wriothesley's.
Tag: @yue-caelum
From: Lady Y/N Balthazar - Balthazar Vacation Manor, Belleau Region, Fontaine
To: Duke Wriothesley of Meropide - Fortress of Meropide, Liffey Region, Fontaine
Dearest Duke,
I am not quite sure how to begin or structure my thoughts, so I hope you forgive me if this letter turns out messy. It's barely been 24 hours since our fateful meeting and I finally got some privacy. I should interest you in the fact that today's tea is Earl Grey. I'm having it right now, accompanied by a chocolate and strawberry mille-feuille. If you're ever feeling bold, I'd recommend this combination. Quite the contrast on the taste buds.
I realized that even with our cadence and how we enjoyed chatting together, there's still so much to know. How have you been doing? I'm presuming you're at the Fortress. How is life there? How do you spend your days there? Is it a lot of work? You told me a bit of the nurse. Sigewinne, if I recall correctly. Does she have a lot of patients? And what tea do you drink when you're feeling so tired and done with the world? (I'm partly asking this one for myself. Some days are like that.).
Though I must say, since Liffey is a bit far from Romaritime or the Court's region, you must have a good teleportation waypoint. Belleau is far, too, but by Focalors' name it is enjoyable. It's quiet, lush and lovely. The water is so nice to swim in too. I find that regular swimming is one of the most beautiful parts of my day. I might be heading into more dangerous territory saying this, but I believe you'd enjoy it a lot if I took you with me. If you had a day off and I showed you around, we could then swim in one of the lakes. It's so refreshing and fun, and a good break from the city.
Don't get me wrong; I love its bustle and life. But I know when we return, I'm going to have to look over these boring nobles' declarations, and meet with them more often. Speaking of which, I'm sorry to sound so forward, but... Well, are you interested in carrying this further?
I'd like to tell you something about my worldview. As you know, I read a lot, but last night I couldn't get into the 'why' due to mother's timing. As a child, I felt strangely bored with existence, maybe to a worrying point. That would explain my parents' fretting. I liked the dance and violin lessons, but there was something about my books that gave my gray life a bit of color. Unfortunately, having to come back to real life was a painful must. There were times where I thought to myself: "Is this really life? Boring, plain, and feeling wrong for watching everyone's intense reactions while I derived joy from so few things?". I didn't even want to think about my future as I become a woman. This was all before we met.
Ah, Wriothesley! I've been imagining it over and over in my head! I even stood outside in the cold and closed my eyes and pretended you were right next to me... Imagine my pain when I confronted reality, mixed with the excitement I felt remembering you! Even now, I can't stop kicking my feet as I write this. For the very first time, I was proven wrong. I was mistaken about life, and who said mistakes were bad? After years of chasing perfection, believing it was beauty and goodness... Why, I might have committed the most beautiful fault in existence!
Will you please prove me wrong again? I know I might get greedy and stick to my old worldview, just for it to happen again. But I swear, I'll be good and I'll stop. I just want to feel my entire body and soul rattling in excitement once more. And you're the only one that happens with.
Mother and Father are planning another social, soon after we return to the Court's region. My understanding says you're not often social, so if you don't want any part of it (or even, if I'm being too intense), discard this letter. I must go now, but if you're as invested as I, I will be awaiting a response. And if Celestia is kind, I will be open for more. I'll be open for anything if it's with you.
Yours truly,
Lady Y/N Balthazar
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From: Duke Wriothesley of Meropide - Fortress of Meropide, Liffey Region, Fontaine
To: Lady Y/N Balthazar - Balthazar Vacation Manor, Belleau Region, Fontaine
To my cherished Lady,
I would like to start off by expressing my most feverish thanks, for reasons beyond enumeration. You taking the time to send me this lovely letter is the least of them. It is generally good form for a Duke to answer quick when he can, but I was so overjoyed with your letter's contents, I re-read it many times to take in all the joy you graced me with. I was also very touched with your personal confiance in me, so I'm also writing to return the favor.
First off, do you know how much I yearn to hear about your day, down to the little details? You talked a good deal about Belleau. I didn't care much about that region before, but now? All I've been thinking about is those fresh waters and woods you praised so highly. The only imagination I entertained was you, holding my hand, whispering that there were no nosy gossipers or greedy parents. Just the two of us, and the lake was all ours to swim in until we couldn't.
If it makes you laugh, I thought about it so much, I almost mistakenly wrote some prisoners' region tab as Belleau. Had Sigewinne not been near, the administrative mistake would have been a pain to fix. Are you laughing? I hope for it with all my heart.
And I want to know more. I want to know whether Earl Grey is your favorite, or you're only taking it because it's been brewed at that time. I want to know which chocolate you like best. Which books you're currently reading, and why you're so interested in lycanthropes without a hint of discrimination. Will you tell me more? If we get the chance to talk with less barriers, will you enlighten me with you?
After getting to know your old worldview, I question just how alike we are. It's easy for two people to share superficial interests. But when one feels so dissected, so naked knowing about another's deeper life and secrets, you can't help but question whether Celestia really does link souls. Whether you once knew them, or whether fate can be so perfect to send such a person your way. I'm sure you felt terrified writing it. Your mailbox may be private, but who knows when your family feels nosy and reads it? You know of the risks that come with such correspondence, especially as a maiden. Despite that, you didn't throw it into the trash. You wrote it, and sent it to me, letting me know about you. You may have just intoxicated me, and now I feel like I might die if that is all I know of you.
As respect to this, I'll confide in you, only it may be a little graphic. "If you feel queasy after this, feel free to end our correspondence here."... Is what I wish I could say with full honesty, because after that night, I'm not sure whether I can really be okay with that outcome.
I used to commit crime, both petty and serious. Such was the life of an orphan at the time. Being little fish wasn't an option; You had to be the top dog or get eaten alive. I opted for the first, even if it landed me in prison later on. My convictions range quite a bit, but once I grew up, I renounced crime. Even insignificant things. I wanted to leave that behind me.
Forget the obvious stealing sweets from the kitchen. When I saw that slimy Duke Arya talking to you, touching your shoulder, acting as if he always knew you and your wedding was tomorrow, I never felt the urge to murder as much as I did that night. The reasons behind my old violent crimes felt so small next to the ugly sight in front of me. You clearly didn't want him, but he kept going, as if you'd magically change your mind and be into slimeheads like him. How dare he be the reason you were pulled apart from me? Where does he get the gall to take you, act like you're owed to him if your parents decided?
How I wanted to end his pathetic standing, laughing, breathing. How I wanted to use my vision and punch his head out into an ice block, then freezing his wrangling body so he wouldn't mess up the carpet. How I wanted to lunge at him, bite, claw and make a bloody mess out of him. What did it matter if I perpetuated half-wolf stereotypes, when he was doing this? Which would hurt him more? Only one idea stopped me: You might not react to a show of violence so well. Oh, if I traumatized you, I'd never forgive myself. Being sent back to jail would be too light a punishment for a beast like that.
Please don't worry about transport, or ask about my attendance. I'm determined to attend that social. I'm so happy you told me about this in advance; I'm going to be seeing you, in all your radiance and beauty that make the world pale. So long as that happens, all is well for now. In the meantime, I'm adding some final touches to my declaration, and eagerly waiting for our next meeting, and hopefully the time I can freely take you into my arms, kiss you and prove the both of us wrong about everything.
With all the love I can hold,
Duke Wriothesley
#genshin impact x reader#yandere genshin x reader#yandere wriothesley#yandere wriothesley x reader#yandere reader#yandere fontaine x reader
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All I Haven't Said | Namjoon/Reader
💜 Chapter 3: Part 1 💜
Table of Contents: Chapter 1, Chapter 2, Chapter 3 (part 1), Chapter 3 (part 2)
Pairing: idol!Namjoon/f!Reader
Genre: Soulmate AU; idol AU; chapter fic; strangers to lovers; a bit of idiots to lovers, tbh; slow burn; eventual romance; eventual smut; angst (life is messy & hearts are complex); OT7 featured
Summary: You found your soulmate - or rather, he found you. Turns out he's an idol of much acclaim who needs you for very real and unglamorous reasons. What could become of two hearts so used to giving of themselves when they are confronted with needing each other?
Chapter Word Count: ~6k
Chapter Warnings: This fic is 18+, as is all my work and my page as a whole; Talk and depictions of cancer, its treatment, and the symptoms of both; implication of some disregard for personal agency by entertainment industry; character experience and description of disassociation; flashbacks of a distressing situation; soulmate skinship; cursing; conversations surrounding soulmates and sex; character experiences an emotional breakdown; light embarrassment; CONFLICT (you knew it was coming, right?), there is plenty of fluffy stuff too I PROMISE 😂😅
Author's Note: Wow. It's been a minute. If you're still reading this story, thank you for sticking with me, and I apologize for the stretch of time between updates. For the longest time, I just couldn't get this part right...and then it was far too long, so I split it up, and I'm still editing the second, and (potentially) third parts. I got several messages from readers who were worried I might have abandoned this fic, and let me assure you, far from it! I am not a speedy writer, and struggle with doubting if what I'm putting on the page is good enough, so sometimes it takes me a minute to update, but let me assure you, these characters are so special to me and so alive in me, and I ask thank you for your patience as I work to tell their story! Thank you for your lovely words of encouragement and feedback on the story - I appreciate each and every one of them!!
P.S. If you want to join the tag list, drop me a comment or ask!
P.P.S. If no one has told you yet today, you're loved and worthy of love! 🧜♀️💜
"I needed the light of your energy, I looked around, devouring hope."
~Pablo Neruda
Chapter 3: My Windows Ache
"FUCKING FINALLY."
"Hey, Di."
"How dare you ghost me for the forty-eight most interesting hours of your life?!"
"Well, I was low-key occupied..."
"TELL ME EVERYTHING."
You sighed, settling down on a shaded bench in the garden grounds of the hospital to which you had escaped for a little privacy and an important phone call or two.
"Uh oh. That was your 'things are complicated' sigh," Diana prodded.
Your eyes tracked a swallowtail as it flitted from azalea to azalea.
"Well, things certainly aren't conventional or straight-forward, that's for sure. But where's the fun in understanding the basic parameters of what you're getting yourself into on a life-altering scale, right?"
"Ummmm...what does that mean? You met him, right?"
You could barely hear your sister's question over the crinkle of plastic in the background.
"Yeah, I did. We bonded too."
"Oh mah gah!!" Diana choked out amidst sounds of crunchy chewing. "So what's he like?"
You thought for a moment.
"He's kind and intelligent. Obviously extremely resilient. His presence is impressive, but he has something about him that's very disarming. He's kind of clumsy and at moments almost...shy? Like, I don't know what I expected, but there's this sweetness to him that you wouldn't anticipate from someone in his position."
"As a cancer patient?"
"As an idol."
You sighed again.
"I don't know...he's..."
Diana let out a strangled sound and uttered an enthusiastic string of words you couldn't make out.
"I have no idea what you just said. Could you please decide whether you want to talk to me or consume an entire bag of Doritos?"
"Hey, it's dinner time here!" she whined, "And I said," her voice quickly changed to take on a smug sing-song tone, "That last sigh was your smitten-kitten one..."
"It was not!" you cut her off sharply. "And get every single idea of Namjoon and I as a couple out of that scheming head of yours because he's very much taken. I'm meeting his fiancée for lunch today."
"What? He's engaged?"
Diana let out an exasperated huff.
"Why didn't they tell you about this right off the bat? You're going to be the soulmate of a married man? What does that even mean? This is bullshit."
You had a hard time disagreeing with her there. It was, in fact, bullshit that Namjoon's team had kept his relationship status a secret. Would it have changed your decision? Probably not. This had been about saving Namjoon's life, not some bizarre attempt at matchmaking. But having a third person to consider, and so intimately, as part of the equation for the rest of your earthly life felt like something you should have been made more immediately aware of. Navigating your boundaries with your soulmate had already been complex enough without introducing the prospect of being a fixture in his married life. When Namjoon had breached the prospect of meeting her, he had been taken aback at your surprise - he, like you, had assumed that Hybe's representation had disclosed everything of significance.
"So it's a good thing I came here as a lifeline, not a mail-order bride," you reminded your sister, "And that seems to be working, by the way. His vitals are already stable. They stabilized overnight, in fact. And his white blood cell count was way up this morning, which is good because I guess he was experiencing immunosuppression from the chemo."
"Oh, nice," Diana murmured.
You had to remind yourself that she was young and excitable, and not to be annoyed at the disappointment that he crept into her tone. However, never one to be down for long, her voice brought its usual bright mischief through the speaker as she posed her following question.
"By the way...how was bonding?"
She had said it with an inescapably salacious undertone, which is why, you told yourself, heat had begun to creep up the base of your neck. You stammered, switching the phone from one ear to the other as you bought yourself time to reassemble your decorum.
"Ah...I mean...it was...intense?"
"Ooooohhhh," Diana trilled, only making you more uncomfortable as the heat spread from your neck to your cheeks, "Intense, huh? Like in a good way?"
You squirmed uncomfortably where you sat, thoughts of Namjoon's pleasure-stricken face and the strength of his hand and how his skin felt against your own hitting your hippocampus like a flash flood.
"Y/n?"
"It was fine, okay? And it worked - so that's what's important."
"....Okaaay..." Diana drawled skeptically.
You scrambled for another talking point.
"That kid visited. The one who came to the States - Jungkook. And another one of the members too - Jim...Jimin? I'm still trying to get their names straight. Some of them don't go by their actual names on stage - Namjoon is RM...but you knew that. Anyway, I digress. Both the boys were really sweet. Seems like they're all very close. I'm supposed to meet the rest of the members at some point next week at dinner. They wanted to have a sort of 'last supper' for us since we're probably going to start rejecting food soon."
"That's cool, you get to meet the whole team! Oh my gosh, you're just going to casually have dinner with BTS...this is still so unreal!"
"Yep," you affirmed, a smile tugging at the corner of your mouth.
Namjoon had hit you with a couple of whoppers last night, but this was one you were actually looking forward to. You told Diana all about your first two days in Seoul - about the impressive hospital and its kind staff. About meeting Namjoon, and his condition. About how everything was still so fresh and new. About how so many things were still unsettled, so many questions unanswered.
"So are you nervous?"
"About what?"
"Meeting his girlfriend."
You had been so wrapped up in filling Diana in on it all that you had actually forgotten about the impending lunch date. As you pulled the phone away from your ear to check the time, your stomach lurched.
"Shit, I better get going. It's almost eleven-thirty." You sprang up and started quickly back toward the building.
"That wasn't an answer," Diana scoffed, "But, hey, sis?"
"Yeah?" You pressed the "up" button on the elevator.
"Don't be."
You smiled.
"Love you, Di."
"Love you too. And so does anyone worth a damn."
After deciding that you smelled like outside, you showered quickly then slipped into caramel-colored corduroys and an off-white tee. You rummaged around the small suitcase Matt had brought from the hotel for you in search of a sweater. After several exasperating minutes of unsuccessful digging, you heaved the bag of laundered clothes that had been returned to you by the hospital staff this morning, having gone through much of the what the Hybe staff had initially pilfered from your luggage in the last two days.
You grumbled in relief as you pulled out your dark green cardigan and slipped it over your shoulders, wondering what the hell the hospital laundry services had done to stretch it out so badly. But, you didn't have time to fuss - so you bunched up the sleeves and headed to the opposite end of the hospital's outdoor grounds where you suspected Namjoon and his guest were already waiting.
The hospital grounds were extensive and beautiful, sporting a garden that extended from the western wing, and a lawn punctuated by traditional pavilions to the east. He had pointed out the one he had reserved to you last night - tucked away in the shade of the large gingko trees flanking the little man-made stream that delineated the border of the grounds.
As you made your way toward the shady spot you chided yourself for being so uneasy - everyone surrounding your soulmate had been as lovely and warm and welcoming as he had been, and the woman he loved would likely be no exception. After Namjoon had disclosed that she was a musician like he was, you had done a bit of online recon before going to bed that night.
Her given name was Kim Hyung-seo, but her stage name, by which she was well-known, was Bibi. She was four years Namjoon's junior, but seemed nearly as ambitious. From what you could tell, she seemed to share a similar drive for artistry and honesty in her musical process as her future husband, and though her tendency for loose-canon candidness had landed her in hot water more than once, her earnest sincerity had engendered her to the hearts of her peers and fans alike. In an industry that seemed to often censor and restrict women, Hyung-seo didn't seem to give much credence to the rules. You liked that. You were actually kind of excited to get to know her a bit and ask her about her art - you had always been a woman's woman, and being in the company of strong feminine energy was something you found deeply empowering and grounding. You anticipated that your soulmate's girlfriend was someone you could respect, and you allowed yourself to venture to hope that feeling would be mutual.
You trotted up the steps of the pavilion and took in its contents. The center had been fitted with a low, round table bearing a colorful and mouthwatering spread of gogi, bibim guksu, gimbap, and banchan. Cushions had been placed on the floor for seating, but none bore the lunch companions you had been anxious not to keep waiting. You were about to take your place at the table when a figure moving near the creek caught your eye.
You moved to the far side of the structure, to see your soulmate deeply engaged in conversation...with a duck.
He was standing near the edge of the water, his tall figure clad in silky modern navy blue hanbok. The top was untied and hung loosely over a white tee - the only contrast to the deep muted tone apart from his cognac loafers. He wore a dark beanie pulled low on his head, which was bowed in affectionate greeting to a juvenile Gadwall who had paddled away from his family to sample the little bits of starchy fluff that the stranger had sprinkled onto the water.
You pressed your palms against the painted wood, taking him in with a smile as he crouched down, extending a bit of bread between his fingers slowly toward the curious little water foul.
This man, you were learning - this erstwhile underground rapper, this leader of men, this brilliant intellectual and genius artist - this great, powerful, impressive man could be called out of his poise in an instant by the sweet and tiny things of the world.
You watched as he waited patiently, the little duck swimming in to-and-fro circuits and drawing closer and closer to Namjoon with each pass, until finally it was close enough to snatch its prize from him and scuttle off quickly to rejoin its mother and siblings. Namjoon chuckled, smiling fondly as he watched the duck make his way back down the creek.
This man, you thought to yourself, could not possibly be real.
"So you're a Kpop idol and a Disney princess, huh?" you called, causing Namjoon to startle and rock back on his heels, landing on his posterior in the damp grass.
You slapped a hand over your mouth to repress the laughter that threatened to bubble up at the site of his large well-dressed figure tipped back haphazardly on the creekside. He huffed a sheepish laugh as he stood, swiping at the back of his pants.
"Give a person a little warning?" he chided lightly, approaching you where you leaned on the railing.
"Sorry," you chuckled, "I didn't want to scare your little friend."
"So you settled for scaring your soulmate? I see how it is."
You smiled and ducked your head.
"Sorry," you murmured, flicking your gaze back to his.
He looked up at you, fixing you with his warm brown eyes and bringing his hands to grip the railing on either side of yours. Suddenly, you felt shy. You shook yourself.
"Hey, hang out with the ducks and you'll end up with a wet tail," you teased.
Namjoon's eyebrows drew together in mock disgust.
"Yikes, you're almost as bad as Seokjin hyung," he remarked disparagingly.
You shrugged, smirking.
"I have no idea what that means, but whoever Seokjin is, he must have a superior sense of humor."
Namjoon was opening his mouth to respond, but was cut short, as the tiny motion of your shoulders had slid one of your hands just a centimeter down the railing and barely flush with his own. The slight contact was enough to send sudden little tingles of comfort shooting up your arm and across your chest. In a millisecond you felt yourself relax where you hadn't realized you were tense. You could have imagined it, but you thought you felt Namjoon press his hand just a fraction more into yours as he swallowed and heaved a deep sigh.
You reminded yourself for the hundredth time since you arrived that this was biological. Clinical. The means to an end. Damn, he felt good though.
You found yourself snatching your hands away to push up your cardigan sleeves and then stuff them into your pants pockets where they would stop confusing you. You distracted yourself from Namjoon's subtle look of disappointment with an apology.
"Sorry about your pants," you rocked back on your heels as you looked out over the little ribbon of water rippling over its stony bed behind him.
He glanced over his shoulder and brushed himself off again before waving a hand in dismissal. Your eyes focused back on the blue silk.
"I didn't realize this was a fancy lunch. I feel under-dressed."
"You look nice," Namjoon rebutted, as he glanced over your attire. Then his brow pinched as his eyes halted on your torso, flitting over your arms and shoulders. "But isn't that -"
"Joon?"
A voice behind you caused you to turn.
Standing at the top of the steps was the woman it belonged to. She was tall and beautifully slender - her svelte figure draped in a slinky chrome dress with a triangular cutout that displayed the smooth skin of her upper abdomen. Her glossy raven tresses were styled away from her face in a high ponytail, drawing sharp attention to her sultry features. Her smoky eyes glanced over your form with a lazy intensity, lids half-raised over dark irises, and her pouted lips pursed in appraisal. You wondered just exactly how many ridiculously beautiful people traveled in Namjoon's circle.
She stepped toward you, her chunky pink heels marking her confident strides on the floorboards, before bowing and extending a small hand with sharp white acrylics and icy sliver rings.
"I'm the girlfriend!" she hummed, her deep, velvety voice matching her features.
You bowed in return before shaking her hand politely.
"So nice to meet you," you smiled, "I'm -
"The soulmate," she cut you off, glancing over your shoulder at Namjoon, who still stood outside the pavilion, "of that weirdo." '
Namjoon circled around to the entrance of the pavilion before joining you with a wry smile. He introduced the two of you formally, before being the first to take a seat at the table. Hyung-seo joined him, shimmying her cushion closer to Namjoon's as she used a pair of chopsticks to load her plate with selections from the spread.
"Oh my god, I'm STARVING," she gushed, staring at Namjoon impatiently as he took a bit of kimchi fried rice and a few slices of samgyeobsal.
"My stomach feels like it could take some real food for the first time in a while," he said with eager enthusiasm, glancing up at you with a smile of gratitude.
Hyung-seo tapped her chopsticks against her plate as she watched you survey the dishes before you. You took some kimchi fried rice and carefully ladled out a small bowl of doenjang-jjigae. You pulled your hands into your lap and watched the steam rise from the fragrant broth.
"Ah, unnie..." Hyung-seo began before Namjoon shushed her and lightly tapped her knee.
You glanced between them in confusion. Namjoon merely smiled at you, and you smiled back, glancing down from his warm gaze to your plate.
"Oh for the love of god, would you take a bite?"
You looked up rather startled at Hyung-seo, who was leaned forward, her desperate eyes tracking your movements, and the chopsticks clutched in her right hand hovering over a plump, sweating mandu.
You blinked, fumbling for your chopsticks as your soulmate admonished the woman next to him. You took a heap of fried rice onto your chopsticks and brought it to your lips, looking questioningly between the two across from you. Hyung-seo groaned in impatience, her head lolling back.
"In Korea, the eldest eats first," Namjoon offered in soft explanation, his features trained in apology.
As realization washed over you, you all but shoved the rice into your mouth, hoping to swallow your embarrassment with it, followed quickly by Hyung-seo, who popped two mandu into her mouth consecutively. Her eyes rolled back as she let out a groan of appreciation. You watched Namjoon carefully savor a piece of samgyeobsal. He smiled a dimpled smile. You smiled to yourself as you tucked into your fried rice. Namjoon's fiancée watched you both. Her cheeks were full, but she wasn't smiling.
Your little trio ate in contented silence until your visitor, having satisfied her belly, fixed her eyes on you with a different sort of eagerness. The time for questions had come, you realized. You set down your chopsticks, taking a drink of water.
"I'm sure there is so much we'd like to know about each other," you offered with a smile.
She pulled her lips into a brief grin, sipping from her own glass as her eyes trailed over you. You cleared your throat.
"So, I read that y-"
"How does it feel?" she interrupted, starring at you raptly. You blinked.
"I'm sorry?"
"When he touches you." She licked her lips. "I heard it's like cumming. I heard it's better."
Namjoon slid a large hand over her thigh. You saw it squeeze.
"Jagiya..." he murmured.
You glanced at him and gave him a reassuring grin which he returned, though not as readily as before. Not the start to the conversation you had hoped for, but she was living up to her brusque reputation. You let yourself laugh a little at the question, and saw Hyung-seo's mouth curl up a bit at the corners, though it didn't reach her eyes.
"It's nothing like sex, actually," you mused, trying to be as forthcoming as possible without abandoning politeness. "Strange, I guess, because it is all about physical exchange and contact. But...it's more like...nourishment? I don't know...I haven't had long enough to think about it."
You had had quite long enough to know that it was ineffable, but in the most intoxicating, magnificent way - and a hell of a lot better than most of the sex you'd had. This, however, wasn't the time and place for descriptions of the bond that could be ripped from the pages of drugstore romance novels.
You found yourself turning to Namjoon with a questioning gaze, as if to ask if he had anything to add. He nodded in response, not meeting your eyes.
"Yeah, it's different," he murmured succinctly.
Hyung-seo hummed in assent, chewing on her lip, her gaze still roving over you. You decided to try again.
"So how did you m-"
"How do you do it?"
You stifled a small sigh that threatened to escape your lips.
"Do what?"
"Use the bond. Like, do you hold hands, or...or what?"
You looked to Namjoon who murmured something in Korean that sounded like a warning. This wasn't going as you'd hoped. Her questions were natural ones, but not the first you thought you'd be asked, and not so pointedly. In fact, they were ones she should probably have put to her partner. Had they not spoken since you arrived?
"The bond works with any physical contact. When I first got here, I had so many questions myself. The hospital personnel were very informative while helping us navigate our questions. I still know very little, but as someone whose partner is bonded, I'm sure they would have someone who could better answer these types of questions than I can," you offered.
It was the opposite of forthcoming, but you were absolutely not prepared to launch into a conversation about you and her fiancé spooning in your undergarments. The trajectory of the exchange had to go elsewhere, so you resolved to take the wheel.
"Is there anything you'd like to know about me? Maybe I could tell you a little about myself. My job in the states wasn't glamorous, but I loved it. I was -"
"A social worker, I know," she murmured with a sigh, and Namjoon's head snapped toward her.
You could feel your confusion pulling into a frown. In your beat of silence, the woman in front of you gave into another impulse as she placidly launched into an answer of your unasked question.
"You're a social worker from the West coast, oldest of three kids. Your father died when you were ten. You graduated summa cum laude, and chose a career in women's services. You support your mother's living - you have been, long-term. Your brother is an engineer and your sister is in nursing school. You've never committed any crimes, but you were arrested once in college at some political protest about immigrant rights. Your blood type is O positive. You don't seem very good with your money, but you've never asked for financial assistance. You've never been married."
Silence.
Your ears were ringing.
You blinked as you tried to focus, grappling for something on which to stabilize your composure. This isn't how this was supposed to go. You felt your control slipping as the words pierced you in echoes that knocked you back down each time you reached out to steady your mind.
"Your father died when you were young..."
"...You support your mother's living..."
"...You don't seem very good with your money"
Your mind whirred as the silence closed in, and for a moment you were suspended.
Diana and Henry weren't pillars, you thought - they were tiny little babies as your mother clutched them on either side of her prone, shaking form as shovels of dirt were shifted back into the gaping hole that held a pine box covered in flowers. You looked down at the flag in your hands, and then up at the white flowers, still fresh and blooming, being caked and sodden with damp soil. You felt something rising up in your chest - something that never reached the surface. You turned from the wound in the earth as Dianna reached out and tugged at your arm. The babies looked afraid. You couldn't see your mother's face from where it was buried in her skirts. You tucked the flag reverently under your arm and took the little hands.
Somewhere outside the amniotic sack of your mind, you saw Namjoon's figure stand. You heard his garbled voice speak to the woman beside him. He was angry, his voice pitched low. Hers in response was sharp and high.
You took a deep breath and exhaled. Your chest was beginning to labor and your inhaler was on the fifth floor of a building on the other side of the property.
You willed yourself back into this world you had chosen. This place which, like the others you had inhabited, would discover its new tenant didn't take long to adapt. She was built to withstand.
"Namjoon," you called softly, as you looked up at your soulmate. His eyes snapped to yours, his face showing subtle but unmistakable signs of distress - eyes reflecting remorsefully and jaw flexing.
You smiled at him gently, reassuringly.
"It's alright," you insisted, your eyes not leaving his.
You saw his shoulders sag, and his head bow. His hand came up to scrub over his face. You realized then that she was looking at you. Hyung-seo's expression was apprehensive, her eyes scouring your face.
"This must be an extremely difficult thing for you, whatever the reason," you offered earnestly.
She regarded you in silence, her eyes flickering like the flame of a candle.
"I would say, 'I understand', but I don't. I have no idea how hard it must be to fall in love with someone only to watch them suffer at the hands of disease, and to suffer so greatly and to come so close to losing them that you turn to finding a person who can save them, and who - if they are saved by - they will need and desire for the rest of their natural life. A person who isn't you."
Her eyes quivered as they held you in their gaze.
"I know I'm supposed to be a saving grace," you continued, having gained your ground, "But I know I could also look a lot like a threat. Trust me when I say that you can be open and honest with me about how you feel. This is a difficult situation where we're going to feel burdened by things we shouldn't. Namjoon and I discussed this."
You smiled again at your soulmate, who was watching you with relief and something else in his features. You wanted to call it admiration, but you had only known him for two whole days.
"Whatever fears you're carrying that make you feel like a burden in this moment, could I ask you to set them aside? For a chance to get to know me in the real way that you deserve? This isn't a trap. Or a cage. We've all chosen to be here."
You regarded Hyung-seo in the silence that followed. Her eyes had fallen from your face - they glanced over toward where Namjoon stood, barely raising toward his figure, when she suddenly dropped her face into her hands and began shaking with sobs.
You let out a sigh of relief too soft to be heard by the others.
"Fuck...." Hyung-seo choked out against her palms, "I'm such a piece of shit..."
Namjoon moved to place a hand over her back and assure her she wasn't. You wondered what she felt when he touched her. Your heart ached with pity for her. Namjoon drew her into his chest and held her as she cried her makeup off. He stroked her hair as her regarded her with weary, worried eyes. You couldn't help but feel that you were encroaching on a private moment...expect that you were a part of this as much as they were. Was there a lifetime of this feeling to be endured? You sighed again.
"I'm gonna give you guys a minute," you whispered as you clambered to your feet.
Namjoon nodded silently over the woman in his arms.
You watched scattered leaves from the boughs overhanging the far side of the stream spin as the were swept away. Your eyes tracked one in particular, twirling as it sailed around a protruding rock and under an arching root, only to be stopped as it was doubled at the middle by a thin, swaying reed. You found your feet moving to where the water rushed around it as it billowed helplessly on both sides of its obstruction like a flag of surrender. You slipped off your shoes and rolled up your pants. You waded into the cool, clear water and, reaching out, tugged the little leaf free. You watched as it sailed on, disappearing around a bend in the waterway. You glanced back up at the pavilion. If you could have been sure it was the right move, you would have left altogether, but you wouldn't want your sudden departure to be taken the wrong way.
You sighed. You pulled your phone out of your back pocket as you waded back out of the stream. Dead. You were bad about keeping it charged, and your conversation with Diana had drained its aged battery. You wished you had a book. Glancing about, your eyes caught a fairly large patch of clover flowers a few yards down the bank, and crossing the soft grass, you sank down in its center.
You smiled weakly to yourself as you plucked one of the little white buds near the base of its stem. You and your siblings would spend hours at the park under the shade turning sprawling patches of the puffy blooms into garlands, crowns, bracelets, and rings. You picked another flower and tied its supple stem into a knot just under the other flower's head.
By the time Namjoon came to join you, sinking down across from you in little clover patch you had fashioned yourself a crown and a necklace, and were working on a garland to send to Diana. You set down your handiwork to look up at him. He was regarding you with soft, somber eyes and a little smile that looked like one he didn't have the energy for but couldn't help besides. He picked a flower and twirled it between his fingers.
"I'm so sorry," he murmured, "If I would have thought that things would go that way, I wouldn't have insisted on her meeting you before she left. She's going on tour and I thought...well, I thought if she just met you her anxieties would be eased."
You nodded thoughtfully.
"Thank you for your patience and kindness. She was out of line saying those things to you like that...you were...that was everything she needed to hear, I think."
You cast your eyes down as you tied off another knot in the garland.
"Is she okay?" you asked quietly.
Namjoon sighed.
"She's...embarrassed. Ashamed of herself. She wasn't in any condition to finish that conversation, so I suggested she go home."
"Understandable," you assented, nodding again.
Silence hung between you for a moment before you raised your eyes to his again.
"Namjoon...there are some things I think we should discuss."
He nodded earnestly, his eyes falling, brow creasing and tongue pressing into his cheek.
"I know we haven't had much time," you continued, "And we have literally the rest of our lives...but, I think we should be on the same page about what we've been told about each other. I think it will make this whole process easier? I don't know. There are some things you assume you'll have to tell someone at a certain point in knowing them - some things that are...deeply personal..."
"Aren't things between us already that way? Deeply personal?"
You looked up and those half-lidded brown eyes were looking right at you in a way you weren't prepared for, in a way that flooded your veins. Soulmate. You wanted to touch him. You wanted to feel him and what he brought to you. You wanted him to feel it too. But you didn't know him, and he didn't know you, and he needed healing, which is why you were here. He loved someone who loved him whose lives you were disrupting. This feeling was basal, you knew - came with the territory...but you were going to need some strong boundaries if this was going to function. You were going to need honesty, for a start.
"They are," you relented slowly, "But I have questions that I need answers to. Your trust in me is clear, and I appreciate that...but...I need time to get my footing here."
Namjoon nodded in assent.
"I get that. So, what do you want to know, specifically? I'll answer any question you have."
You nodded gratefully.
"Thank you. Do you think I could take a little time to think about what I want to ask? I'm kind of still processing everything that just happened."
"Of course," he was quick to answer, "Whenever you want to talk, just let me know. Did I say how sorry I am?" he asked smiling weakly as he looked up from where he struggled to knot the stem of one flower around another, suddenly looking down again when its stem snapped between his fingers.
You huffed out a little laugh.
"Yes, you did," you did, you answered, offering him a rueful grin.
He picked another flower only to realize he had cut its stem too short for his purposes. He tossed the little blossoms back into the grass.
"Can you make me one?" he asked pathetically, pouting at the garland in your hands.
You chuckled as you tied off the one in your lap and leaned forward to slip it over his head. He adjusted it around his neck, looking down at it with a pleased expression.
"You know...if you can believe it, we actually got lucky in there," he smirked, his forehead creasing as he raised his brow.
You gave him a look of confusion. His eyes trailed over your torso again before flitting back up to yours.
"She didn't notice that you're wearing my sweater."
You froze. Then you blinked down at the giant green cardigan that had, in fact, slipped down off of one shoulder. Then you gaped at him.
He snickered.
You scrambled to yank the sweater over your head, even as he laughed and protested, you blustered apology after expletive after apology.
"Shit, it was in my laundry bag!" You whined in explanation as you shook it out and began to fold it in your lap.
"Stop, just keep it on," Namjoon insisted, still clearly amused at your state of panic.
"I have one just like this. Like, identical but obviously smaller. I just assumed it had stretched out in the wash..." You extended the sweater toward him.
He shook his head.
"Just give it back later, you'll be cold." He looked up at your exasperated expression and started laughing again.
"Stooop..." you whined in embarrassment, and when he only laughed harder, you tossed the sweater in his face. As he balled it up with a smile where it fell down into his lap, his smart watch trilled. He glanced down at it.
"I've got labs scheduled now," he sighed.
"Hopefully they'll bring more good news," you offered, at which he nodded. "I seem to be getting the job done, if I do say so myself," you teased, leaning back on your hands and offering him a smug look.
He nodded, tongue in his cheek, then pushed to stand - with effort, you noticed - and extended a hand down to you. You didn't realize what the little smile on his mouth was for until you accepted his hand with your own, by habit, and were nearly knocked back off your feet as the bond surged through you like a wave of mind-numbing euphoria that left you unable to process information outside of what was sent coursing through your every cell from where he touched you.
You blinked up at him as you got your wits about you, and he was looking down at you through little slits in his barely-open eyes, head tilted back and mouth hanging open - little smirk still tugging at its corner. You pursed your lips, trying not to grin back.
"You did that on purpose," you chided, trying and failing to train your features in a scowl.
His smirk deepened.
"What? I was just being courteous..."
You rolled your eyes.
"I'm feeling a little weak, I think it would be best if you helped me back to the room," he muttered slyly, turning to head back toward the building.
The smile that was dimpling his cheek and creasing the corners of his eyes did something to your stomach that had you yanking your hand out of his grasp.
"Yeah, right," you huffed, forging a few steps ahead of him, "You're putting a lot by your poorly reputed coordination to think you could walk while I was touching you."
He let out a laugh behind you. It was loud and bright and had you biting back a smile to match it.
"What happened to getting the job done, sweater thief?" he called after you teasingly.
Shit. Yeah. Boundaries. You were going to need them.
_________________________________________________
Well, they met! Next part to follow soon.
Thank you for sticking with me here!
Tag list: @butterymin @little-dark-empress @aretha170 @kamilamb @jlee97 @thephotoend @callmenoona25 @felicityroth @softforyoongles @berlianv @honneypies @deadrose287 @n0pesir
#kim namjoon#knj#bts#kim namjoon fanart#knj fic#namjoon fic#bts fics#namjoon soulmate#soulmate au#bts soulmate au#namjoon x y/n#namjoon x reader#namjoon x you#bts reader insert#reader insert#eventual relationship#eventual smut#eventual romance#strangers to lovers#idol au#slow burn#bts imagines#rm fanfic#rm imagine#namjoon imagine#kim namjoon imagine
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Bet.
Apologies for the messy background, but here's my lovely knitting machine! It's a Silver Reed SK10.
While writing another post, I noticed I was writing a lot about my knitting machine. So I put the words here. And added a lot more.
This is going to be a long post. I talk a lot about things I like, and I will not apologize for it. I will add a cut here so you can scroll by this more easily if you want. But! It'll be more fun if you read on! And I put photos of stuff I made at the end!
I learned to knit by hand from a book in elementary school, and I learned wrong. I have been happily hand-knitting things ever since, and consider myself a fairly knowledgeable and experience hand-knitter. I haven't steeked anything, to be fair, but my interests tend to be geared toward lace.
Which is good, because that's my default handspinning weight. Here's an example of the stuff I like to spin and knit (4 months from start to end, oof oof):
After I graduated college, I found out about flatbed knitting machines! I found one that looked cool, and drove myself a few hours to buy it. The end. Just kidding. You're not even halfway through this post. Not sorry.
I did not know how to operate a knitting machine. I just liked how this one looked (still do) and it also had a ribber! And it was $50? Something like that? Probably paid more for gas.
Anyway. Flatbed knitting machines range from "I can only do stockinette hehe" to "I am fully electronic, I'll knit lace or colorwork for you all by myself, EZ".
Mine is firmly in the former camp. No punchcard capability at all, and the ribber carriage is not even sophisticated enough to link up with the main bed carriage. Each row of ribbing requires the main bed carriage to be moved first (laying yarn across the ribber needles), then the ribber carriage (hooking the previously laid yarn down to complete the row). So knitting in the round is, yes, one pass of the main, then the ribber, then the main again, then the ribber carriage... (I actually made a lil' youtube video about this).
I cannot tell you why I wanted it, other than "new yarn thing!". At this point in my life, I was a very comfortable hand-knitter. There was no reason to acquire a large metal object that would do what I did, but "less good" (considering this machine would only ever do stockinette and hand-manipulated stitches -- but I didn't know tuck stitches existed!).
Tuck stitches look like the honeycomb pattern in the middle here, and are kind of knitting machine exclusive:
I think I actually may have wanted a circular sock machine, but those are very, very expensive, and not really in my price range. Still aren't. Very much considering adding one to my wedding registry to see if someone bites. (Would have to plan a wedding, but it would be worth it).
I figured that a flatbed machine with a ribber could knit in circles, ie, what CSMs do; but would also knit large flat things (CSMs can do small flat things, I think). And since the price meant a CSM was unrealistic without some serious saving, it was clear I would have to find a flatbed with ribber.
But working knitting machines with working ribbers are difficult to find. And expensive! I think prices were $350-500 for the full package plus shipping (expensive shipping because these are bulky and heavy and delicate instruments), and I'm sure they've only gotten worse.
I kind of live in a domestic craft desert, so there was very little hope for finding something local anyway. So when I saw a working machine with a ribber "near" me for less than $100, I was stoked. I was aware of its non-ability to pattern, but I just wanted to knit in circles.
When I got this machine, it was functional, but dirty. Oh, so dirty.
First thing I did was remove all the needles (took forever) and soak them in isopropyl alcohol (smelled terrible), and take everything apart as much as possible to scrub every reachable surface.
It was then that I re-affirmed my love for all-metal, vintage hardware. My sewing machine is a 1950s Singer and oh boy is that thing an absolute unit. This knitting machine is also an absolute unit in the best way. It was dirty, but in excellent knitting condition.
It was then that I also found this machine does not have a sponge bar. Which is really weird for a knitting machine. But also why I'll never get rid of it, I think.
It's got a metal U-shaped thing instead, to tension the needles. Sponge bars serve the same purpose, but the foam decays terribly over time. I don't think this metal thing ever needs to be replaced. I've knit quite a lot (will get to that!) on this machine and it knits beautifully still.
I think this machine predates sponge bars (??? pure speculation), because everything I've seen online about buying used machines says that you must consider the sponge bar and how to measure the sponge to buy the correct size and must immediately buy a new one and maybe even have a spare for when yours starts to get old etc etc. Never seen anything that says there's a metal tension rod like mine.
Ravelry did not believe this was the sponge bar equivalent, and asked me to please look elsewhere on the machine for the real sponge bar. They also told me this machine was not worth $50, which I kind of disagree with. Yes, it's super limited, but I love it. It will also, like my sewing machine, probably outlive me.
It's a standard gauge machine, and not a very common one (?). I think it's an earlier machine (4th oldest on this list), in terms of domestic machines, and likely was passed up in later years for models that had punchcards. There is another internet presence who has an SK10! KinoKnits did a video on hers.
There is a manual for the machine and a manual for the ribber online, and the scans aren't great, but they are very readable. Not much else though.
Okay. Infodump mostly completed.
Once I got the machine home I immediately set it up and realized I didn't quite know what I was doing.
After much trial and tribulation, I created some... things...
I optimistically cast on with my newly-learned e-wrap cast on and the included cast on wire (I have still not figured out the cast on wires, I don't think they actually work, and are simply a cruel prank)
I switched yarn (to something thinner and less elastic), in case that was the issue, and also switched to trying just i-cord to see if I could get that to work. It worked!
Switched back to the original yarn. I-cord also worked!
And back to trying fabric. Progress! But a lot of dropped stitches. I think this was very similar to attempt 1, but I just persisted and more aggressively picked up droppped stitches. This took me a very long time.
No dropped stitches! I used a weird cast on, or maybe just a really loose e-wrap?
Fabrice! I was confident enough to mark that I was using tension 7 with those (intentional!) yarn-over holes near the top.
I believe that those six attempts took me a few hours, and a lot of it was me trying to gauge whether or not yanking the carriage across was the right thing to do. I wasn't sure how much force to apply, and was deathly afraid of breaking needles, because I don't think these are standard ones and I can't get replacements.
There wasn't much to learn after this.
Oh.
Except for, you know, using the ribber.
It looks pretty similar to the main needle bed. Long metal guy with lotta needles. It's flatter, and hangs off the main bed with some sturdy arms on either side (which you can't see, sorry).
Close up:
You kind of have to wiggle it so that the needles don't smash into each other.
It does function identically to the main bed otherwise. But it's so much trickier to fix dropped stitches (or even see them!) because, as you can see, the ribber kind of covers everything. And it doesn't come off till the ribbing is done.
I've found that I need lots of weight to get the ribbing to knit off properly, which sucks if I run either carriage across without yarn accidentally. The knitting will simply yeet itself onto the floor and I will have to start over.
The cast on is kind of weird, but not terrible if you understand what it's trying to do, which I do, but will not endeavour to explain on this already horrendously long post. The Singer SR10 manual explains the cast-on process if you're interested. Or just tell me and I'll make another infodump post! Love talking about my knitting machine.
Here are some first attempts at ribbing and tubular knitting:
Allllllrighty it's project time!
I made a hat! (I made it a free Ravelry pattern btw, because the decreases are optionally worked by hand).
I made some sock tubes and hand-knit the heels and toes!
I made a bunch of ribbed cowls with my handspun!
I made scarves with more handspun!
And most recently I made a bralette:
Which turned out smaller than I planned because I do not gauge swatch properly at all, but I can wear it semi-modestly anyway.
#knitting#machine knitting#knitting machine#yarnblr#knitblr#mirith#infodump#just yeeting this info into the void
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I just have to wax poetic about the beauty of gentlebeard, particularly why I, as an autistic person, love them so much and project onto them so badly
This might get a little long, so a read more will do
But first off, some fun brief history lesson on autistic relationships in media :). Which sucks most of the time :)))
Ok I'm really not gonna get too much into it cause most of its the same; white autistic man/white allistic woman (The Good Doctor, Adam, etc). There have been steps in more diversity when it comes to this (Jane Wants a Boyfriend and Extraordinary Attorney Woo, a flip on this trope, and Heartbreak High has an actually autistic actress as a main lesbian character) but some of these media aren't being continued anymore (Everything's Gonna Be Okay you will always be missed)
As of right now, the themes of these stories are usually about the disability, teaching allistics and just overall centers around autism itself, which considering how many of these projects aren't led by autistic people, it's shitty repetitive portrayals (The Good Doctor, Atypical, Extraordinary Attorney Woo, As They See Us, blah blah blah blah blah)
But then you got these two pirates.
And let me explain how they pressed all the right buttons for me:
1. Both neurodivergent coded
Stede Bonnet my autistic icon. Just, the way he goes about social interactions and his knowledge about things is so reminiscent of trying to understand social rules and masking and special interests. There's even the little things like his love of books and needing things spelled out to him and when he commented on the textures of the privateer clothing.
And there's definitely a reason loads of people love to read Ed as adhd: his brain thinking of plans ahead in the future, feeling stuck in life, collection of items in a "messy" room, and that fancy French party man. His reading is less overt and more nuanced to me, but I still feel connected to him like I do with Stede, like how I would feel when watching a show about autistic people.
2. Their neurodivergent relationship
I've said before that most relationships we see are with an autistic/allistic. It falls under the "teaching" category and makes me feel like its trying to make a point, like yes, autistic people can have relationships like anyone else and they are lovable enough to neurotypicals!!!1!!1!
So imagine my absolute glee at how when Stede and Ed have their first proper conversation, it goes like
Ed seemingly seeking a sensory touch from the softness of a fabric
Stede instead of judging him on doing something "weird" asks if he enjoys it
And because they find they both enjoy this certain thing
Stede shows him his safe space to Ed full of this same kind of thing Ed liked
Ed then expresses his personal feelings to Stede
And gets no judgment, in fact a show of agreement and sympathy
And then they do something that's like an inside joke that's really only funny to them
And then Ed encourages Stede to be confident by supporting him
This is thee meet-cute, nothing can ever top this cute and honest beginning of a medium-burn relationship, change my mind
Most of what autistics want more than anything, romantic or otherwise, is to feel listened to and accepted. And we get this almost immediately, with BOTH Stede and Ed feeling appreciated!!!!
3. No neurodivergent preaching
When autistic love is shown in media, it's usually never the focal point. The main thing is about the person having the disability - even shows I love and praise for its relationship representation like Extraordinary Attorney Woo and Everything's Gonna Be Okay do the same thing
Ofmd acknowledges issues existing like colonialism, racism and homophobia, yet this show is not about that. The characters are allowed to exist and be themselves and happy without having this fact shoved down their throat every waking second and the villains who keep up the systemic issues get their comeuppance, usually by that person they were hurting.
And I here what you're saying: that neurodivergency is not canon and so doesn't have the direct acknowledgement like the other issues I mentioned... well.
We don't see sexism in ofmd, yet we all understand how Mary wouldn't be able to make the same choices Stede could on leaving their family. We know that the French party were entertained by Ed, not just cause of his stories as Jeff The Accountant.
Stede was bullied in his childhood by his father and classmates for not fitting in, for standing out - yes this obviously reads as homophobia, but many neurodivergents can relate to feeling exactly like this, some i bet almost being in the same situation as Stede is when it comes to things like crying easily and liking to pick flowers
So a moment like Stede playing Stark Revelations, where he gets to make fun of people that were like those in his old life AND being able to defend his one and only friend? That felt pretty damn good to watch myself.
Even without the romance, you still have a show where the two main characters are encouraged to be themselves in every way. This is a far cry from other media where even though they aren't explicitly stated to be neurodivergent, they are generally unlikeable and/or characters around them scold and pressure them to change into something "better" (Sherlock, Big Bang Theory, etc etc). Doesn't change the fact they are read as neurodivergent and thus seen as harmful representation for people who are "similar" to them irl
Meanwhile, Ed and Stede love each other because of who the other is, no narrative about them having to fall in love with the other despite their differences... but because they found something in each other they always wanted to find, and to feel loved in return
And the narrative doesn't preach to you or tries to fix them. Instead it says "this is our main character who happens to be white and middle aged, and this is his love interest who happens to be middle-aged and a Māori man, and this is their love story". And it is so goddamn neurodivergent
#ofmd#our flag means death#ofmd meta#blackbonnet#gentlebeard#stede bonnet#edward teach#autism#actually autistic#autistic love#autistic relationship#let.me.dream.with.ofmd
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REVIEWS OF THE WEEK!
EVERY WEEK I WILL POST A VARIOUS REVIEWS I’VE WRITTEN SO FAR IN 2024. YOU CAN CHECK OUT MY GOODREADS FOR MORE UP-TO-DATE REVIEWS HERE.
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8. That Time I Got Drunk & Saved A Demon by Kimberly Lemming--⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️
First five-star read of 2024 🙏🏽
My friends have read this book and LOVED it, so I don't know why I'm lowkey surprised by how much I enjoyed this. I thought it would be a cheesy and slightly boring read (I didn't read the synopsis, okay? Sue me.) But what I got was SO far from that. Full of adventure, heart, sexual tension, and hilarious sass, I found myself laughing and paying rapt attention.
I loved the MC and her responses and commentary. I can see myself re-reading this just to highlight all of her sass. She's one of those contemporary characters set in a fantastical world that helps keep these kinds of stories light and fun. There's a scene where the demon just stares at her like "Okay, so we are definitely getting married" and I don't even blame him. This woman is a BADASS.
I loved their exploration of their world and how quick it was. Some readers might want more setting development, but honestly? I'm happy with how light and straightforward it was. I also really liked the side characters and how the demon just takes out anyone he wants, especially if they threaten the MC.
This was fun and everything I wish that other cozy fantasy book had given me. The new editions of the other two books have already been preordered 😌.
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9. The Thing About Jellyfish by Ali Benjamin--⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️
THE THING ABOUT JELLYFISH perfectly encompasses the tortures of middle school, the changing of the people we once called friends, and the effects of grief and how a child's mind may twist in ways that might help them comprehend the reality of death.
Ali Benjamin does a fantastic job of drawing out the history of her MC and her friend. The way they both changed and how the MC came to choosing to stay silent verbally for the majority of the book. Watching her trying to find reasons for why her friend has died was heartbreaking. I can't imagine being a parent in that situation, where you know you can't help your child comprehend the change in their reality.
Also, middle school is a cruel place for a lot of kids (hi, I was one of its victims) and the levels of evil some of these kids get up to is truly astounding. It broke me a little watching this friendship fall apart and this poor, young MC having to remember the last moment she saw her friend alive.
Sometimes things just happen and this whole book is, ultimately, a great source for children grieving. Life can be messy, confusing, and sometimes heartbreaking. Benjamin's novel is beautiful and this is another one of those middle grade books that I think adults AND kids should be reading.
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10. The Skull by Jon Klassen--⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️
If no one has read any other Jon Klassen books, then they're in for a surprise. If they have, then they'll recognize the eeriness of his writing.
You can't tell me that the hat books aren't creepy (there's a couple of pages where the big fish CLEARLY eats the little fish in the long grass). This guy is morbid and props to kids' authors who can write a book both for kids and adults.
The artwork was beautiful as always and the story was a very, very quick read. Perfect for those 5-7 year olds who want to try something themselves but don't mind a talking skeleton or skull.
This also got reeeeeeal dark at one point and I was just thinking of how some of the Gen Alpha kids are.
Highly recommend--especially for those littles who love a little spooky with their bedtime stories.
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11. The Fiancée Farce by Alexandria Bellefleur--⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️
Romantic, at times funny, spicy, and full of characters I wanted to punch in the dick, THE FIANCÉE FARCE was entertaining from beginning to end.
Much like many of my reading experiences, I jumped into this without knowing what I was getting myself into and imagine my joy and surprise when the trope of "marriage of convenience" popped up. I loved watching these characters fall in love with each other, and I loved seeing the thwart the horrible people in their lives. I also loved that one of the MCs has a massive love for reading (shown through her family's bookstore).
Was this the best romance I've ever read? Not really--it had some pretty obvious climactic points and some very over the top villains--but it held my attention and I fell for the couple. I loved that one helped the other find her confidence that had been stripped from her at a younger age.
One of the things that keeps me from giving this a five star rating is how...in a bubble this story feels? Like, we meet other characters as they serve their purpose (as is the usual) but if they're not in the scene, it's like they don't exist. There's one scene where one particular character doesn't speak and it's a pretty pivotal moment for the reader to pay extra attention because this is a huge hint about this character, but Bellefleur doesn't even hint at it? It's like that character is deleted from the scene. This is like taking the adage of "when you're with me, I only see you" and using it to the max.
Other than that, this was an entertaining and sexy story of proving assholes wrong and falling in love despite you believing that you're not deserving of love. Highly recommend for enough looking for a cute romance full of family drama and fake relationships!
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12. Ana On the Edge by A.J. Sass--⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️
Such a powerful story!
One of my favourite messages that ANA ON THE EDGE could potentially give young readers that it is OKAY to be in the process of trying to figure out who you are, but also that it's okay to not have all of the answers at once.
We see the MC struggle with their identity and their relationships throughout the whole book, especially because their world has always seemingly had such clear cut gender norms (Ice skating is a huge part of her world). I can't even imagine trying to find who you are when everyone around you is imposing who they think you are on you.
I also enjoyed that we got to see some of the more pivotal relationships in the MCs life and that messy in-between with friendships when big changes happen--like sudden schedule changes, or new friendships blossom. While this book tackled pretty big topics, I liked that its core it was still truly an MGLit book that explored the importance of friendships and keeping the good ones alive (even when life gets a bit hectic.)
Finally, I adored the relationship between the MC and their mom. I loved that they were a team and even though it took a little bit of time, they had some good communication between the two of them. There were some heartwarming moments and I loved seeing them understand each other better as the story progressed.
I think this is another great LGBTQ+ book to have in my back pocket for when I need to recommend great Queer books to readers!
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13. Mindy Kim & the Birthday Puppy by Lyla Lee and Dung Ho Hanh (Illustrations)--⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️
It's been a while since I picked up the last MINDY KIM book but this was just as cute as I remember the last two books being. There were some moments that made me tear up a little, but I'm just an emotional mess sometimes.
I loved seeing Mindy come into her own with her brand new puppy. A couple of my best friends have a puppy and as I read Mindy's adventures (or misadventures), I thought of how difficult it was for my friends to parent a brand new puppy. This is a kid's book, so I'm not surprised Mindy was able to be so successful so quickly, but in reality, puppies are a lot more work than what was shown here. BUT this didn't take away from the story at all! I love that this could be a really great resource for littles who want a puppy, but need a further understanding of the responsibilities behind it.
And much like the last two books, there were some important topics explored here: how families might look, grief, multicultural traditions, and responsibilities one might take on.
Another great addition to the series and I'll hopefully be reading the next one soon!
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14. Suddenly by Isabelle Autissier--⭐️⭐️.5
I had a lot of expectations for SUDDENLY by Isabelle Autissier, but we all know expectations are sometimes the death knell of a story. The cover enticed me, the synopsis further pulled me in, but the clunky translation full of thesaurus-level words and the random time-jump totally took me out of the story.
Normally, I DNF books that aren't working for me because hi, I have a massive TBR to get through before I die. But I will give Autissier this: she wrote a very intriguing beginning to her book. I wanted to see these characters survive and thrive in their new environment. A morbid sense of intrigue had me continuing the story as they mercilessly killed creatures I never thought someone could kill so coldly, and as they had massive introspection about their super privileged lives (and their first world ignorance about their importance in the grand scheme of things.)
These two characters were severely unlikable, but I couldn't help but get attached. I felt such a mixed bag of emotions towards the FMC and when the time jump happened, I felt further disconnected from not just her, but the story as a whole.
I'll be blunt: the second part of the book (or more like 3/4 way through the book) ruined this for me. I understand the importance of seeing the story of the "after" but I hated it. I think it went from being an interesting exploration of survival and humanity to the superficial experience of society marking you as a hero for surviving. I get that this is also the point: the further examination of how society is in (the character's) reality vs. the truths they realized about the societies they had grown in and how wholly unprepared they were for the battlefield of survival. I get that, but I still disliked it. From there, I felt like the story dragged and my attention wavered even more.
And don't get me started on the ending--the page I thought was going to be the last page was a better last page than the actual last page.
Overall, I liked the first half of the book. Despite the dark aspects, the gut churning choices, and the heartbreaking conclusion, I enjoyed that part. The second part of the book brought the whole story down for me.
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15. Fake Dates & Mooncakes by Sher Lee--⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️
FAKE DATES AND MOONCAKES was a pretty straightforward and easy read, but listen, it was FUN. This felt like I was experiencing a K-Drama or C-Drama. It was such a good time--the dramatic twists, the threats against the middle class guy dating the rich guy, and the CRAZY RICH ASIANS-like trip and event? Freaking amazing. LOL the love interest literally waits for the MC outside of his school standing by his Ferrari. This is juicy Asian-drama level stuff and I ate. it. up.
The romance was adorable and sweet and I won't lie, I sometimes forgot these were teenagers--not because of anything gross, but because these two were so mature in their actions and how they interacted with each other.
The familial relationships were so sweet and I loved how they clearly had each others' best interests in mind whenever something pivotal happened. They were adorable and I loved them.
Reading this was like experiencing some of my favourite Asian dramas again, with a dash of CRAZY RICH ASIANS. It wasn't an earth-shattering read, but five stars for solely being entertaining and making me smile with giddiness. If you want a cute gay story with some truly cute moments, then you might like this--especially as a read for when the warmer weather finally returns!
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Have you read any of these books? Would you recommend them?
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Happy reading!
#Book Reviews#Book review#book reviewer#on books#on reading#book blog#book blogger#Features#readers of tumblr#books#booklr#bookish#bookworm#bookaholic#book list#my opinion#my writing#long text post#reading update#2024 reading#read#reading#reader#books books books#books and reading#books and literature#books and novels#Reviews#Review
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I wonder if there's going to be anything that I would feel remotely happy about in the last chapter.
Someone spoiled me about it in a really vague manner earlier you know? In a very vague sense, really, so I still don't have much of a clue of what's going to be there, but it was still enough to let me down entirely. I was a bit angry. Don't do that to people unless they ask for it, not everyone knows what's out yet and it shouldn't be?? Not everyone knows what you do when things aren't officially out yet.
It just... I don't know about what's going to happen yet, but I wonder why I read this piece. I wish I would be able to understand what is the point and what type of message this work is trying to send when I do see the finale. If it ends up being just full of characters suffering, then I rather this piece just never existed. I doubt it's going to be entirely devoid of hope but I also doubt it'd have a message I would fully resonate with seeing how lackluster the past couple chapters have been. And I keep ending up talking about it probably, because I have some attachment left to it.. Let's see if I have ANY left by the end of the week. Somehow, every work I get into that's real-time does make me suffer one way or another and I don't know what it is that I've done wrong... I hope I didn't make a big fool out of myself by having interpreted things wrong. Maybe I have though? I really, really didn't want to misinterpret a message of a work and what it was supposed to be as well as the characters of a piece. I really care about that when I get into a series. I'm so confused right now though. So what are they trying to say with this piece?? Is it going to be good?? Worth the weird turn it's been having lately? Hope it does convince me of it because I'd hate being disappointed, I don't like criticizing a piece actually! I just want to enjoy and love it with all my heart. What did I do to deserve this o<-< is it too early to say this or not but.. The work's been so messy lately. How are they going to overturn it..
Just don't spoil me about things. I really hate it. This work makes me depressed💦 it did inspire me a lot and I'm thankful, maybe I should have read it after it reached its completion though. But fate has it that I came by. And...I doubt I would have been able to draw this much if I did. If what I've drawn was able to make others happy then maybe I did something quite worth it in my end. I wish I can have fun about it by the end of the day but I just have no idea.
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PH ~Complaints~
This is the first of several pieces I will be making about this series. Reading Pandora hearts was an experience to say the least and I wanted to organize my thoughts into separate categories, because it’s too much to post out normally. Also I’m insane and I think it’ll be fun for me at least. These posts will contain spoilers but maybe it’ll spark people’s love for the series. Maybe it’ll get people to buy the manga volumes. Maybe the stars will align and it manifests an anime reboot (delusional).
With that out of the way, we will start with my complaints and nitpicks of the series. Which isn't a lot but there will be explaining to do here. As a disclaimer, these are things that I found worth mentioning and may not be any issues you had reading. I am going off my initial reading of ph too so if I miss anything, don’t come at me lol.
-> The most notable complaint I need to talk about first is early ph. But I bring it up because this is the main thing that can turn people away from the series. “The early chapters are slow” is a complaint I heard before starting ph. Upon looking back, it wasn’t necessarily slow for me and I enjoyed those parts. But when reading, it was chaotic and felt like nothing was moving. It felt like we were rushing to nowhere. I took several breaks because it was so overwhelming. And I wasn’t reading them physically but off of sites, I know a lot of you remember Bezarius, Liam, Shalon lol. The wonky translations in the early chapters aren’t mochijun’s fault of course, but it didn’t help matters for me.
So much information was jam-packed with an already intricate story. And granted, later on in the 50s-60s chaps, the world makes more sense. But when you haven’t gotten to that point, it’s a lot to take in. You can compare early parts of ph and vnc to see exactly what I mean. VnC’s introductory chapters are much more polished. And some stories work better that way but in ph’s case for me, the direction wasn’t clear. I mean you know the objective, finding Alice’s memories but after that it was just a bunch of “huh???” It wasn't until we met Elliot and Leo, eventually Rufus that everything became more coherent. And you can argue, “yeah you’re supposed to be confused” which is valid but it was a bit messy for me, and I know it's inspired by Alice in Wonderland.
But not only was it confusing and can be perceived as slow (though again not for me), these chapters are long. Certainly not a complaint, I loved having long chapters. But if you’re confused af, you feel as though the plot isn’t moving, and you have these long chapters to add. I see why people may drop the series because “it’s too convoluted and the author doesn’t know what they’re trying to say.” I don’t agree with that but I understand if they weren’t able to go past chapter 35 or something. But we all must remember this was mochijun's first real series. So I understand as well why its beginnings aren't that grounded and can forgive that.
->The second complaint is that there wasn't enough characterization of the Baskervilles squad (as in Lottie and her gang I'm excluding Zwei here) as individuals. What do I mean by this? You can say “well they weren’t that important” which I kinda disagree with because they were the antagonists we were worrying about for half of the story as they searched for their leader Glen.
We got depth given to them as a group, we see that there is a genuine, familial bond. I wanted to know their past or backstories and the most we got from was Lily. You can say we got Lottie too but I don't know I was left wanting more. We know Doug and Fang got Lily’s tattoo in solidarity which is my favorite moment from the squad. But who are they y’know? Fang had such a cool design, how did he join the Baskervilles? Doug is a nothing character. I haven’t read the light novels so these questions could be answered there but having read the manga, we should’ve gotten more.
-> Going from that, the whole Glen thing. Again, might be explained more in the light novels but from manga content, I wish we got more explanations and lore. Who was the first Glen? Who is Levi? He’s someone who we deserved more insight into and what made him so detached.
-> I wish we had more chain on chain fights. I read somewhere that mochijun had struggles mapping out action scenes so they were kept to a minimum. But I think due to that, we don't get to see the true extent of these chains' powers. And yes, Break's condition prevented him from using his chain much. But Break and Vincent's dynamic was great, a final showdown between them with their chains would've been so cool. Mad Hatter vs. Demios we were robbed...
-> Isla Yura in general. Not gonna lie, I forgot he existed. I can respect the role he played, especially knowing now mochijun based Dr. Moreau off him. He was a worthy threat and his obsession with Jack makes sense. But his personality just wasn’t it and rubbed me the wrong way. Stereotypical queer antagonist from the 2000s, we did not need this.
->This might be a biased one but Cheshire should've been a prominent character. We see he’s important to Alice but we got a whole mini-arc with him in the beginning, him appearing in the Break backstory and then he's gone until the final 8 chapters. I also wish he behaved like the cat he’s inspired by. Sassy, mischievous with a dash of dark humor. (though now I say that, Oz does have some of that). There was just so much potential that we simply didn’t explore with him.
-> Speaking of such, Sharon and Ada were so underused. I was expected more from Sharon’s arc and her Eques chain is so cool but that didn’t happen. Every moment with Ada was fantastic but she’s mostly put to the side which sucks. Her relationship with Oz was lacking for me, he comes back from the Abyss and we do not see him think of Ada until 15 chapters later? Her overall reactions to Oz dying essentially after the finale, learning her father’s death, none of this is there. These two had potential, Sharon even being part of the main five, that wasn’t delved into.
-> Vincent and Ada. Okay, lemme break it down. I kinda love them, they didn’t get together which was sad but was the best choice to make. But I do question why this relationship exists. To be honest, until the last 14 chapters I thought she dropped them completely. I was wondering what was the point of making them a whole thing and having read to the end, I still kind of think that. We got two or three main interactions with them and then we just never got back to Vince/Ada until the finale. It was as though the plot simply couldn’t make time for them, it was tightly knit at this point and everything was heading for utter insanity. But then, we get the emotional climax of Vincent’s character. We get Ada telling Vincent “I forgive you”. It hits hard because Vince is a top 5 character for me. But in terms of their relationship, it didn’t feel earned. I don’t think it was developed enough to get such a heavy moment like this.
Their last encounter from what I remember was in the headhunter arc, Ada telling Vince she’ll always be by his side. And while we see he cares about her safety then, I don’t think that means what they have is strong enough to break the self-hatred Vincent has built up for years. Why did it have to be Ada? I know Gil wasn’t getting through to him but if he told Gil what’d he had done. That he indirectly caused the tragedy of Sablier, and Gil really said fuck it, held him down and screamed “I forgive you! The outcome might’ve been the same. Vincent respected Elliot. Vincent looked up to Jack. Vincent grew to care about Ada. But to me, the only person he loved in this world was Gil. And in his last moments, that is all he had. So this whole Vince/Ada thing, while I enjoy them and definitely needed more, at the end I doubt how necessary it was for either of their characters.
->At last, the ending. I love the ending, let’s get that out of the way. Two things I need to say though. One, it did conclude faster than it should’ve. It’s not to a degree where it significantly brings it down but we could have used 5, 6 more chapters. Chapter 104 should’ve been cut in half, 104 ends with “see you later Gilbert” and 105 is total epilogue. That way, the events of 104 get to sink in with the reader. Second, and I know you saw this coming, Reim marrying Sharon. This is the one thing I see most fans have an issue with for the ending and I completely agree, this did not make any sense. It felt like the biggest last minute decision. I think mochijun and the magazine had reached the end of their rope because no one got together in the end. Oz and Alice didn’t become canon really, Gil is too gay, Elliot’s dead so we couldn’t even get elleo implied canon.
(Though you can make a whole other thread arguing how their entire relationship already was from how intimate they were) We all knew Rufus wasn’t gonna marry Sheryl, Vince and Ada went their separate ways. So it was just “alright, um….someone’s gotta get with someone.” And from what I know, there’s no artwork or moment in the series that hints in the slightest that this would happen. We never get a teasing moment from Break about them, Reim and Sharon are friends but the main connection between them is Break. I don't buy the whole "Break's death affecting Sharon deeply and she found comfort in Reim who shared her pain" because you don't have to marry someone who understands your grief. They can just be there for you as a friend. And there was no signs of romantic attraction AT ALL.
Which makes me doubt mochijun planned or even wanted to do this. Her hands might’ve been tied by higher-ups and she had no choice but to include this to deliver the finale she had in mind. This is pure speculation so I could be wrong but with that, this essay I guess, wraps up. There’s other stuff I may not have mentioned, like the jury thing is so absurd but I want to reserve that for my mochiverse theory. When it's all said and done, Pandora hearts is still an amazing series, mochijun has definitely improved as an author. My vnc-ph comparison post which may be after this one will elaborate on that in more detail. Thank you for listening to my rant. What are some complaints or nitpicks you had with ph?
#pandora hearts#ph#jun mochizuki#oz vessalius#manga#ph manga#Gilbert nightray#vincent nightray#sharon rainsworth#ada vessalius#baskervilles#anime#tumblr#anime tumblr#Mochijun#overall thoughts#Alice in Wonderland#post#fyp#pasted from twitter#lol
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i think you're a fan of solving live triangles by having all three people date each other. do you think that goes for twilight as well? i think it would be perfect! jacob and edward have a special connection and bella apparently loves them both. everyone wins
hilariously when you sent this the other day, i was actually in the middle of a conversation about twilight
i'll fully admit that while i do love poly ships, this isn't always where my mind goes to. sometimes i just don't like one of the love interests much, or alternatively: i don't care for the person the two others are fighting for and think the two love interests should leave that person high and dry and date each other
in twilight i think both of them honestly stink and should stay far away from bella. i can't remember them interacting all that much where they aren't fighting (pre renesmee) but i have seen some fun edward/jacob fan content that's doing its own thing
and i mean i personally don't think edward/bella/jacob would be winning i think it would be so wildly messy and disastrous but like. i do love a messy polycule. so,
mandatory "read the truth vs twilight page from the burke museum and the quileute tribe right now" and "consider helping the quileute tribe continue their move to higher ground" note. thank you!
#Thanks from the Argo!#Anonymous#answered#not pjo#YOU SHIP WHATEVER BTW GOOD FOR YOU ANON#even tho i'll sometimes reblog twilight art i'm so not in the fandom in any way i don't think of shipping much w it tbh#usually it's just me ranting about x y z and getting way too lost in the analytical sauce#i am neither team jacob nor team edward#jacob is ok in book 1 but as soon as he shifts for the first time im out fuck these guys#another triangle where i dont go for poly is the selection one (im once again working on my video. its on the brain)#i dont like america but i do think aspen/maxon would be FUNNY and in a better world actually really good#however comma in canon itd probably be meh cause those two like BARELY interact theres not a ton to go on#i dont really like either of them all that much either ngl but like THEIR dynamic is probably more interesting to go off than#america and either of them. sorry girl i just Do Not Like You Much#anyway this is about twilight. bella was fun before she started dating edward.#decided any time im gonna talk about twilight that i will make sure to push both these links btw!#if i reblog stuff about twilight (gifs; art; etc) i'll queue up a post to go up afterward w these links o7#anon
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479 Tri-type description
479s typically tone down their hyper-emotionality and suffering when around others. They don't want to be difficult, and they don't want to be drama queens. They find such a self-image embarrassing, and they are certain the future holds great promise and potential, so aren't they a little pathetic for focusing on their tragedy? They may self-dramatize and bring attention to themselves at times, but it's typically followed by a down-playing of the tragedy and a reframing of the situation- "All in all, it was probably worth it, and not really a big deal, anyway..."
479s view themselves as special, clever, elite, talented, and regrettably, ordinary. Attracted to the new, the known, and the emotionally intense, they can feel a bit of the will-o'-the-wisp, never quite knowing where their fancy will take them- will the day be mundane or exhilarating? Dramatic or comforting?
Intellectually and emotionally curious, yet liking balance, 479s tend not to push things 'too far'. They may play it safe in a lot of ways, getting their stimuli and emotional depth via books, film, music and other artistic media versus through gritty life experience or putting themselves on the line (although they likely swing through levels of mania or hyper-excitability and depression or listlessness). 479s are somewhat risk averse- the four may dive into dangerous waters but the seven wants to keep things pleasurable and light while the nine would really rather take it easy, so the 479 ends up swimming back to shore, reads a good book in a hammock and then falls asleep, all the while wondering when something big will happen in their life, when they will finally reach their full magnitude.
The 479s' tendency to take the easier road can quite likely lead to a regretful place where they find themselves mired with difficult questions: "Why do I fall so easily? When will I get my drive, determination and self-discipline? What will it take for me to stay committed to one thing, no matter how difficult it is? When is my life going to be how I expected it to be?" These questions (and the failings they acknowledge) may lead to depression and a loss of self-esteem, but that doesn't mean thinking about them and recognizing their flaws is going to get them anywhere. The only way 479s will truly have lives which please them is through sucking it up and getting down to business. This doesn't mean a life of drudgery, but rather acknowledging what matters to them and making it manifest- honestly expressing their emotional range vs sugar-coating it; recognizing that potential doesn't equate ability and experience (and then making a point of acquiring that experience and ability); and not getting tired and apathetic when life throws challenges their way.
With accomplishments and self-fulfillment, 479s can't help but recognize that they possess great worth. They are innovative and creative in an inspired and life-affirming way. They see beauty in all things and beings and recognize the necessity of both pleasure and pain. They are wholly aware that they are entirely unique yet simultaneously connected to every living being, and they are joyful to be living their life, with all its messiness, struggles, and simple pleasures.
Core Fours will have a harder edge and go deeper. They will be more emotionally expressive and darker than the 974 or 749.
Core Sevens will be lighter and more energetic. They will be more upbeat, fun, and enthusiastic/excitable than the 974 or 479.
Core Nines will be more gentle and accommodating. They will be more easy-going, relaxed, and have more of a healing presence than the 479 or 749.
Credit: https://www.personalitycafe.com/threads/4-7-9-tritype.117159/
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Hiii, I'm a newbie :') Could you recommend me books and documentaries about Richard and Philip, and that period in general (12th century)? I read somewhere that a new book about their relationship came out recently. Thank you <3
Hi! Thanks for asking. Its funny since I still think of myself as a "newbie" in a lot of ways since I just got into this whole mess of 12th Century England/France drama probably around like last December, so there are definitely lots of people who know more (ppl, feel free to suggest anything if I haven't mentioned it)
To my knowledge there aren't any specific books or sources that are just about their interactions (aside from That One Recent Fiction book that is. Well that's it's OWN thing lmao) but since the family affairs of the Angevin-Plantagenets and the French kings were very closely entwined with the rest of the family and various other parties, there's lots of overlap.
I personally love it because on one hand it's Free Soap Opera Entertainment, and on the other, a look at a time and environment that is very fascinating and extremely different than the time we live in now. Here I've listed the different books and video I've gotten around to, my thoughts on them, as well as some of my thoughts on uhhhh historical RPF shipping in general:
Books:
The Plantagenets by Dan Jones - An overview of the dynasty overall. A good general read, and available as audiobook! Should be available in most libraries. I haven't finished it since I've only read up to the reign of Henry III, but it presents the overall timeline in an entertaining and straightforward way, with a lot of general context and room for showing the colorful personalities of these Messy Bitches
Henry the Young King by Matthew Strickland - this is probably my FAVORITE of the books I've read so far! Sadly out of print, but it's available to borrow on The Internet Archive, and copies can be found pretty easily on eBay :) It focuses on Henry II's original heir, the titular Henry the Young King, eldest of his son who was co-crowned with him, rebelled against him, fought against Richard in Aquitaine, and died early. It goes into a study of his person and role in the politics of the day, how kingship and war were viewed in the 12th century and a lot about the weird lord/vassal relationship between the French and English Kings that made up the bulk of the conflict and drama. Very long and comprehensive, but very readable. I came away with a much better understanding of everything from this book especially.
Richard the Lionheart: King and Knight by Jean Flori. Flori has a very entertaining writing style that somehow is very funny to me when he's talking about the interpersonal dramas, especially with Philip during and after the crusades. The first half is a biography, the latter half of the book is devoted to exploring the concept of chivalry and how it developed, and also exploring subjects of Richard's legend and image
He has many amusing but overall respectful beefs with fellow historian John Gillingham's scholarship throughout, especially in regards to the much debated subject of his sexuality.
Richard I by John Gillingham - haven't finished this one yet but enjoying what I've read so far. Gil is more detailed in some aspects, which is pretty fun. Apparently he has a reputation (from Flori) for being a bit too much of a Richard fanboy which I haven't come across yet but he is informative, including accounts from Muslim historians during the Third crusade.
I haven't read as much specific media/biographies about Philip and the Capetians, and thus all my media is very Plantagenet-biased. there is an educational graphic novel in French that looks interesting but I don't have access to it (and also I don't speak French but. Ah well). For my purposes however since the role of Louis Vii and Philip II are very entwined with the story of the Angevins we do get a pretty decent look into people's personalities, decisions and behaviors, and how they viewed loyalty and kingship in a lot of the books above.
VIDEOS
youtube
"Britain's Bloodiest Dynasty" timeline documentary centering about King Henry and his drama with Becket and his sons and hosted by Dan Jones (who also wrote The Plantagenets, which I listed in the books section) It's a pretty fun and understandable intro, even if the overly dramatic faux Game of Thrones reenactment is really corny and also hard to see because the lighting is SO dim. It's a little oversimplified and focuses a bit too much on analyzing Henry's Personality as the source of his Issues rather than maybe looking at a wider picture, but it's fun and very beginner friendly.
youtube
youtube
Confessions de l'histoire - french web series in a reality show "confessional" style about historical figures, there's a video on the 2nd crusade (focuses on Eleanor of Aquitaine and Louis VII's relationship), and one on the 3rd crusade (with Richard and Philip) It's very comedic focused but from what I've watched includes a LOT of detail. It scratches my itch for that goofy edutainment but good quality.
youtube
Secrets de Histoire - Alienor d'Aquitaine - this one is also french only but documentary focusing on Eleanor's life . It also has very goofy Reenactors in it with one of the worst wigs I've ever seen, as well as reusing footage from the earlier documentary and other movies loool
youtube
"The Place of Battle in the Context of Civil War c. 1100-1217" Lecture by Matthew Strickland about how people viewed (or avoided) Battles specifically in the context of civil wars and dynastic contexts. - I love watching lectures by the authors of books ive read, and this one is both very watchable and provides some great context!
On Shipping
My approach to my yaoi delusions (both in general fiction and in perceptions of historical people) is mostly that i am less concerned about "was XYZ queer FOR REAL," since while I do find serious discussions of historical queer history etc very interesting, a lot of this is more separately blasting my problematic sicko radioactive beam of perception in any direction lol. I like seeing characters who are tied up in a web of context (especially familial/dynastic context) and I love knowing familial-cultural background since it gives me a lot of fun material to work with for characterization. Learning more details the better for me, since a lot of the reality is stranger and more fortuitous than fiction , and thats what makes the characters unique, having so many angles to them. But also in the end, it really is all a delusion informed by my very 21st century fujo inventor taste, and I like keeping that in mind, as a sort of separate category from being informative haha. I could write about my headcanons and how I make things interact with the fictional portrayals, as well as thoughts on eh various problematicisms. But this has gone on long enough. Those are posts for another day...That being said I'm weak for both serious drama behavior and really silly drama behavior and the way people come across in these books especially lend itself well to both .
Hope this was somewhat helpful! I enjoyed reading a lot of this a lot, it's a fascinating subject, thanks for giving me a chance to ramble about it.
#12th century#Medieval history#Historical RPF#Historical#Resources#The Plantagenets#Capetians#Asks#Long post. Like really long#richilippe#shipping#angevin
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I have so many things to say about the "clarification" of the FIA's policies, religious and personal statement ban.
Whoever drafted the wording should be fired because this sentence that says drivers can "express their views on any political, religious or personal matter before, during and after the international competition, in their own space and outside of the scope of the international competition" is the most vague shit I've ever read. They claim that drivers' spaces include social media and press conferences, but social media isn't a space (it's a platform), and press conferences aren't owned by the drivers but I digress.
Drivers are not allowed to do anything that will compromise the FIA's stance on neutrality which is defined as any and all proselytizing gestures, clothing, speech etc without approval (which should be requested 4 weeks in advance). They said Lewis' rainbow helmet would qualify but not, for instance, Pierre's symbol of the cross before a race. This is where things start to get messy. If a rainbow on Lewis' helmet can convert people to queerness, why doesn't the FIA think Pierre's gesture can convert people to Catholicism? People have joined cults for far less. Do they not think that people could switch religions if they are influenced by their favorite, good-looking celebrity expressing their belief in God? Because I hate to break it to them but Scientology, Hillsong church, and Jared Leto's cult are prime examples of that. They may not view Pierre's cross gesture as proselytizing but that's only because they've never watched Fleabag. Anything can be proselytizing and I mean anything.
What happens if Lewis, in a feat of malicious compliance, does request to wear his rainbow helmet 4 weeks in advance for Qatar? They have put themselves in a position to be fucked if they let him wear it and fucked if they don't. They can have fun trying to parse their way through that backlash.
What happens in the event of an emergency on track. Let's say, GOD FORBID, a driver or personnel gets hurt or dies due to conditions on track or related to the FIA's governing. Are they gonna have to wait 4 weeks to express that? What if their message isn't approved because they were critical of the FIA or the specific country's national motorsport organization? They're just supposed to pretend like they support the FIA? Lol ok.
Their decision is in direct contradiction to the wants on Formula 1. Domenicali literally stated that last week, and instead of backing off, MBS decided to double down and have a dick measuring contest. He chose to strain the relationship further at a point when F1 is literally having its moment on the world's stage. They have never been more eyes on the sport and specifically on the drivers than ever before, and instead of capitalizing on that, they're deciding to muzzle them. Let's see how that strategy pans out longterm.
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