#that ao3 profile has been feeding my sambucky obsession for MONTHS now <3333

[the-girl-who-cried-wolf]

I wasn't planning on reblogging the other ask because I'm embarrassed about the drawing but then I read your tags and was like: woah...

I told you about that day, I recall I described it as: I woke up today and my heart was hungry for something more. And you're so right, you got it exactly right. First of all, that fic sounds amazing. I have been reading a lot of fanfiction too lately, due to shortage of free time, but it's also a way to satisfy the yearning and daydreaming which sounds sick but it's really true, and I wish it wasn't that bad.

"Like it's painful sometimes but it's the very thing that's keeping us alive" <- this here got me, because I haven't been able to put into words!

When I wake up with this intense feeling, I feel like maybe I should take a step back (from whatever it is that's feeding these emotions, making them thrive), but then I'd feel such ache, like I have to consume whatever it is that could make me feel something, to relax, to stop this feeling from being so intense. It's a loop. I am literally so tired of it but I also love feeling it? I could curse it a thousand times but lowkey wait for the emotions to hit.

I don't know this is embarrassing for me and maybe I am delusional. [Stoned at the nail salon kinda feeling].

Have a great night/day, full of insanity 🫶

yeah i understand that! fanfic really is one of those niche things that just Helps So Much, even if it can almost become... can i say addictive? that's the only word coming to mind rn. like there's nothing else that quite fills that hole inside your heart, right? apart from music, maybe. (that's how it feels for me anyway.)

I've been trying to make more time for other hobbies and creative outlets lately, mainly drawing and painting, to try and focus more on creating things rather than just consuming fic after fic but there's so many good fics out there! i want to read them all!

and don't worry mais, i'm also delusional. i get it <3

(also i found the fic i was quoting! this one; a marvel fic from yelena's pov. i would recommend any and every fic by this author if your interested in marvel fics! i've been slowly reading my way through their ao3 page and i love all them so muchhhhh.)