#that Dazai by all means should’ve gotten rid of at this point but is still holding on to

[sad-emo-dip-dye]

https://www.tumblr.com/sad-emo-dip-dye/712612512114327552/seven-years-seven-years-and-youre-telling-me

Let me help with your delusional mischaracterization ❤️❤️❤️

Oh yeah, Dazai planted a big ol smooch on chuuya, and in the same vein of the thats what makes me love you scene, cringed so hard he vowed to never speak of it when he realized chuuya didn’t remember(but he thinks abt it for the next three months at least)

[misstinfoilhat]

The Boy in the Belfry Pt. 3, a Bungo Stray Dogs fic.

Fukuzawa decided that it was time to bring in the big guns. He walked away from Dazai's room while fiddling with his phone, finally finding the number he was looking for.

«President?» was heard from the other side, as Atsushi answered the phone. «Is Dazai okay?»

«Considering the circumstances, yes. But I need you to come back here.»

«Why's that?» he asked worriedly. Fukuzawa scoffed.

«We're gonna have to get to the bottom of this, but Dazai's will not talk to me. So, I was thinking we’d use a more... unconventional method. Come over straight away, that's an order.»

A gulp was heard on the other end as Fukuzawa abruptly hung up the phone, not letting his young subordinates ask any more questions.

                                                            ... It didn't take long before Atsushi was walking slightly slumped over through the hospital corridors for the second time that day. He was worried about what his boss would order him to do. Surely he couldn't ask him to torture Dazai. That could not be the unconventional method he had mentioned.  Thinking about it, he had some serious doubts that Dazai would crumble under torture anyway. But if not that.. then what?

“Ah, hello Atsushi,” Fukuzawa greeted him, waving him over.

“President! Wha-what's going on?” Atsushi asked uncertainly and picked up his pace.

“Can you by any chance, cry on command?”

Atsushi stopped, only able to blink at the older man. Fukuzawa stared back, stone-faced. 

“Hah?” he uttered, quite intelligently.

“Can you cry on command?” the tall man repeated as if asking him to hand him the salt.

“I- I don't think I can..?”

“Try.”

Atsushi worried his eyebrows, really not understanding. 'What the hell is he on about?'

Fukuzawa sighed and scowled at him. “Apparently not.” A finger tapped on pouched lips, humming as if deep in thought for a moment, and proceeded to reach out his hand. Atsushi watched guardedly and leaned slightly forward like his boss' hand was gesturing him to do. A sharp pain shot through a part of his nerves system and his eyes grew warm and watery. Atsushi's hands shot to his face, covering his nose in disbelief, where the hairs of his nostrils had been ripped out by his superior.

“There you go!” he exclaimed happily, as the tears started to well up in Atsushi's eyes.

“What'd you do that for?” he cried nasally, covering his nose protectively. Strong and determined hands shoved the young man towards Dazai's room, while instructions were being given.

“I couldn't get Dazai to talk, and I know he has a soft spot for you. Go get the information we need to move on with the investigation.”

“Aaah?” was all Atsushi was able to say before he was pushed into the room and the door shut behind him.

                                                            ... “Atsushi?” He heard Dazai's voice ask, and he turned, still covering his nose. The tears were running freely now as he watched his mentor lying in the hospital bed.

“Are you okay?” the dark-haired man asked, trying to sit upright. He rolled his eyes when he realized that there was no way.

“I... uh, D-Dazai?” Atsushi stuttered, wiping his eyes and hesitantly approaching the bed. “I'm... I'm sorry, I just- uh...” he sniffled, “I was worried, about you. That's all. About who did this to you,” he finally managed to flounder out.

Dazai smiled faintly and pointed to the chair on his left. Atsushi complied, sitting down obediently.

“Atsushi...” Dazai sighed. The younger man lifted his gaze to meet his elders. “I need you to get me out of here.”

Atsushi startled with wide eyes, his voice breaking as he uttered, “Huh?” He was just full of intelligent responses today, wasn't he?

“I need you to get me out, today. Right now. I have some business to take care of. It might be a matter of life or death!” Dazai stared fiercely into the wide eyes of Atsushi and continued, “It's absolutely crucial for me to get out this instance. This whole country might rely on this. Yes, that's right. All of Japan. Do you think you can do that for me?" he asked intensely.

"Da-Dazai? Are you sure, I mean..." Atsushi felt his breath getting caught in his throat and his heart raced twice as fast as it was supposed to.

"I would have asked you to do this if I could’ve done it myself, but... it's kinda hard with the president outside, guarding me like a dog,” he overly-pronounced and half-shouted at the door. The door had miraculously cracked open without Atsushi noticing, and was now quickly shut.

Atsushi was still in shock with his lips trembling as he looked from Dazai to the door repeatedly. Dazai let out a slight chuckle but looked somewhat unimpressed at Atsushi's' confusion.

“Don't worry, it's not the first time he's tried something like this,” Dazai stated, crossing his arms over his chest. “Sorry kiddo, my lips are sealed.”

“Wait, you're not... you're not really..? Japan isn't in danger?”

“No,” he scoffed, a satisfied grin on his face before it dropped in annoyance. “I just wanted to get rid of Fukuzawa. He makes it soooo troublesome to convince any of these beautiful nurses to agree to commit double suicide with me,” he sighed dramatically, looking longingly through the window on his right.

                                                            ...

The next day, once again- another call came from the hospital to the ADA office.

“What?” Kunikida's voice rung through the room, loud and angry. “What do you mean 'he's gone'?! He has a broken back and a broken leg, he can't exactly just walk out by himself!”

Like the days before, all attention was turned to the tall, bespeckled man. It wasn't as if he tried to hide his outrage as he waved his arms furiously into the air and yelling at what must have been a very distressed nurse at that point.

Kyouka had just arrived to witness the raucous. She got seated, curious by Atsushi's desk.

“What's going on?” she whispered to him, deliberately ignoring some of the colorful profanities that embroidered the idealistic man's language (usually those kind of words were reserved for Dazai).

“Apparently, Dazai is missing from the hospital,” Atsushi answered, looking horrified and guilty at the same time.

Suspicious cerulean eyes looked him over, and Kyouka forcefully turned his face with a harsh grip to his jaw, making him look her in the eyes. Sharp nails dug into his skin as he let out a small yelp.

“You don't happen to know anything about this jailbreak, do you?” she glared at him.

“No! No-no-no. I really don't! I swear! It's just-”

“No, you calm down missy! I'd like to speak to your superior! Arranging a search party for that suicidal maniac was not part of my-my... I... I'm sorry. Miss? Don't- don't cry... I'm-”

“It's just what?” Yosano interrupted them, in with a soft, yet strangely sensual voice, leaning over the desk, head resting in her hands and letting a generous part of her cleavage spill out between her elbows.

“He- he kinda joked about it yesterday. That's all. Fukuzawa heard it too, just ask him! I didn't take it seriously though.”

“Why wouldn't you take it seriously?” Yosano snapped back.

“He told me not to!”

“Have you met Dazai?”

“What's going on in there?” a strong bass voice echoed from the hallway before the door into the shared office landscape was opened. Fukuzawa entered with an angry grimace, demanding to know why Kunikida was yelling and the rest of the agency seemed to chatter about it instead of working.

“Uh, president, it's...” Kunikida startled.

“Apologize to whoever you are verbally abusing and tell me what's going on.”

“Y-yes, I'm so, so sorry miss. Please, we will see you in a little while.” He hung up, receiving a poisonous stare from his superior.

Kunikida cleared his throat. “Sir, Dazai seems to have disappeared from the hospital sometime during the night.”

“Ah, yes. I suspected that would happen,” Fukuzawa simply stated.

“You knew?”

“Yes. Atsushi too. He was there.”

The stares turned to Atsushi, who squirmed in his seat. “N-no, I didn't! Not really... for...sure.” Atsushi swung his head down in defeat. “I guess I should've known.”

                                                        ... It was raining heavily when Dazai, with poorly hidden difficulty, stepped out of the cab, leaning unsteadily on his crutches. He had gotten the strict message from the doctors that he was in no way, shape or form ready to leave the hospital yet, even though he had really turned up his charm and tried to sweet talk with anyone who would listen- which turned out to be frustratingly few. He wondered if it had anything to do with the three more times he had sung the Greek national anthem to get rid of the guards on his suicide watch.

(...)

Goddammit, he was in so much pain. How in the world could the doctors and the others at the agency think that he would inflict this amount of pain on himself again, for the second- no wait, it was also that time at the shopping mall... Well, a third time?  They must really think he was stupid if he hadn't figured out that jumping off buildings was a much too painful way to go, after three attempts.

His eyes gazed at the old abandoned church in front of him. He couldn't understand why in the world they wouldn't just have knocked the whole...unholy fucking abomination down years ago. What was the point of leaving it? He should've done it himself when he had the chance. Long before it would come to haunt him again, after almost ten years of being buried, deep down in the lowest depths of his fractured mind.

Now it was too late. He needed it again.