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#thanks for making this year more bearable <3
kyeomyun · 1 year
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i haven't been online and posting for a while huh ;-;
THATS BECAUSE IM PREPARING FOR SCHOOL NOW 😭
im so sorry :(( i said i was going to be more active this summer but that did not really happen at all. I FEEL SO BAD :((
this summer flew by so fast, i never really got a chance to like.. yk... LIVE. but can't really get that time back right now..
BUT FOR NOW, MY LOVELY WOMEN, GENTLEMEN, AND GAYS, i will be heading off (12:30 AM)
song rec:
(this song is stuck in my head)
bye bye <33
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computerglitch306 · 8 months
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It's my 3 year anniversary on Tumblr 🥳
Shit.
3 years and I haven't left. Damnit.
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asumofwords · 8 months
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Midpoint - Michael Gavey x Reader
Synopsis: The semester break came along quicker than you thought it would, and you decided to stay on campus for the break to get ahead in your studies. What will happen when you go head-to-head with a certain ill-tempered maths student in a war of pettiness?
Warnings: This fic is 18+, readers discretion is advised. Arguing, pettiness, name calling, low blows, tension, degradation, ripped stockings, finger fucking, rough fucking, fucking in public, p in v, creampie, cum eating.
Word Count: 8.7k
Notes: Hello my angels, Happy New Year, heres to all the filth that will continue to come from the cesspool that is my mind. Thank you all for your patience, I have been so excited to write for Michael, and so I hope you enjoy this as much as I have writing it !! heheh ;) <3
Part 2
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There was a soft amber glow that cast over the library, the dark wood warming with the golden light that peaked through the windows, patches of wooden floors illuminated in some spots with coloured lights from stained glass windows.
For the most part, the library was empty bar three other students who had stayed behind for the break, getting ahead on their work for the next semester.
You were one of them, and with the sheer size of the library, you wouldn’t have known there were others inside if you had not seen them when walking down the endless isles of books in search for the ‘British Working Class Movements’ for your history course. 
It didn’t take long for you to find it, and by the time you settled into a secluded corner down the back, the sun had already begun to set. You flicked on one of the green and gold table lamps and began to read, periodically taking notes on a page as you went.
It wasn’t that you needed to study ahead, it simply gave you something to do whilst the break droned on, few students having stayed behind making it lonely, but a bit more bearable than making the long trip home.
You loved the library, the stained wood, smell of old books lining the walls, and the quiet of the place was a nice haven to get away from the usual hustle and bustle of college. Everyone always seemed to be in a rush to either their next class or their next party, and although you weren’t a loner per se, you didn’t always feel like being in the constant lights and sounds that came with socialising. And so the library was the one place, besides your dorm, where you could have a nice piece of solitude.
Settling over the page, you gained a steady rhythm. Read about one movement, then write anecdotes as you went, taking the time to pause, re-read, and really absorb the information as much as you could. It was fascinating, and you enjoyed learning as much as you did.
By the third hour of continuous reading and note taking, your hand began to cramp, and so you decided it was time for a short break. You stood up from the desk, stretching your arms above your head, a small sigh escaping your lips as your back cracked and muscles pulled. You twisted your upper body to each side, softly grunting as you felt your back click again and again, sighing loudly as a particular pop took away an ache that had settled between your shoulders. You continued on with your languid stretches, trying to get some of the stiffness out of your body from being hunched over the desk for so long. 
You wondered how much more time you should spend writing notes, or whether you could go back to your dorm and laze about on the bed. Luckily for you, you didn’t have a roommate, and were able to make the space feel much like your own. You didn’t have too much furniture, the room not allowing for it, just your essentials and a few trinkets here and there that you had collected. Your real pride and joy however, was a Peace Lily that you had saved from sure death. Now, it sat proudly on your study desk, growing dark green leaves and flowering its soft white flowers.
The idea of going back to your dorm seemed tempting, after all, you didn’t really have to be studying, and you had just recently bought the new Harry Potter book and wished to read some more of it, make a nice cup of tea, sink into your sheets and get lost into a fantasy world.
A soft jangling came from between one of the large book shelves, and soon a man peeked through. His icy blue eyes caught yours and you watched as he assessed you from where he stood, albeit awkwardly, gaze dragging up and down your body.
He was tall and lean, with sandy blonde hair that sat messily atop his head. He had a sharp aquiline nose, and lips that pulled up naturally in its corners.
You recognised him from somewhere, but where you couldn't be sure.
Perhaps he was in the same classes as you?
He continued to stare at you, shirt tucked into his pants, small carabiner attached with a USB dangling from a belt loop, his tongue pushed into his cheek.
“You right?” You asked, shifting on your feet, wondering if he needed something from you.
His lips pursed as he looked at you from down his nose, “Are you?”
You furrowed your brows, “Huh?” 
“You've been moaning in the back of the library like a tart.” 
You bristled, “I beg your pardon?”
Who the fuck-
“Some of us are trying to study.” His arms were stiff by his sides, and before you had the chance to reply, he spun on his heel, shoes squeaking loudly in the aisles as he marched away.
“What the fuck?” You whispered to yourself, feeling angry and also slightly embarrassed about the encounter.
Had you been making a lot of noise? 
You didn’t think so, especially since the library was essentially empty anyway. You had even chosen the furthest corner of the floor as well, tucked away behind rows of books and out of sight. 
You sat back down at the desk and tried to continue writing notes, but instead, you found yourself feeling far too self conscious, and wondered if you were even breathing too loudly. But before you got too self critical, you remembered that the library was practically empty, and you had specifically chosen a spot the furthest away from the other three students.
If your stretching and little sighs had disturbed him, he was either hanging around your area, or had the hearing of a bat. 
So after about an hours more of study attempts and a half a page more of notes, you decided to call it a night, packing away your belongings before taking the book with you, not bothering to check it out. 
As soon as you got back to your dorm, you headed straight to bed, not feeling in the mood to make a cup of tea or even open your new book, no longer looking forward to enjoying yourself and settling in. Instead you laid on your back staring at the ceiling, stewing about how the man in the library had spoken to you, and vowing that if you saw him again, you'd give him a piece of your mind. 
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And by your luck, you did see him again. 
The very next day.
You got to the library around midday, deciding that you weren’t going to do a late night of studying, deciding to have a relaxing night in to pamper yourself, maybe even watch a movie in the common rooms if the tv free, or do as you had intended the night before; a cup of tea and your book, and maybe even some ‘me’ time.
The library, despite all its windows and the suns rays peeping through, was cold, and as soon as you stepped foot into it a chill ran over you. You walked through the endless rows of books, not seeing a soul as you climbed the stairs to the second floor, dust settled into the crooks and corners of the staircases and bannisters, the smell almost overwhelming, until finally, you saw him. 
He was sat in the centre of the room at one of the large study desks, multiple books opened around him as he furiously wrote down notes and equations. His head didn’t lift at the sound of your footsteps, too busy in his own little world studying for God knows what, so much so, that it was a wonder that you had even managed to disturb him the day prior, which now only seemed to fuel your anger.
You were never one to back down.
You walked straight to him, toes almost kicking the leg of the table as you looked down at his neat writing, his hand flying across the page in rapid succession, no calculator in sight despite the lengthiness of the equations.
It was impressive, you noted begrudgingly, the way he worked so swiftly, and just was you were about to gain his attention, he spoke to you, hand not once slowing as he worked. 
“What do you want?” 
It wasn’t rude, just as it wasn’t polite. If anything, it was abrasive, like the rough cobblestones outside, and not once did he look up at you.
It caught you off guard.
Your mouth opened and shut as you tried to think of something to say.
Was it really worth being hot headed and saying something the day after?
Would he even remember?
Or would you be embarrassing yourself further?
Ultimately you gave up, deciding that there was no point to saying anything anymore, sighing in resignation as you walked around the length of the table continuing to yours. 
You got about three steps away before he spoke again.
“Remember that you’re in the library this time.”
You spun, staring daggers into the back of his head, hand gripping the strap of your bag, “What the fuck is your problem?” Your chest heaved in anger, waiting for him to turn around or answer you, but he didn’t.
The sandy haired man continued his endless equations, leaving you standing behind him as though you had spoken to a ghost. It was maddening, the rush of your blood loud in your ears drowning out the steady scratch of his pencil.
How dare he?
He was just like all the others, like every other man on campus who felt they could speak however they like at any woman as though you were beneath them. 
You stood there for what felt like minutes, but was mere seconds.
Realising that you weren’t to get an answer from him, you continued on your way to your secluded little table, stomping through the aisles, your footsteps echoing loudly in the space on the wooden floor.
When you got to the table, you all but threw your bag down, the heavy textbook slamming onto the wooden surface, making a large bang.
Never in your life had you been so agitated, ripping the chair away from the desk, letting the legs scrape on the mahogany floor. 
One after the other, you yanked your books out of your bag, your notebook and pens, throwing them onto the table without a care. You could feel the heat of your anger creeping up your neck and into your face, and despite your attempts to calm yourself by studying, you ended up just re-reading the same paragraph over and over again, not once absorbing it. 
By the time you decided to give up, the sun had begun to set, and so you hastily scrambled to shove your things back into your bag, not even bothering to tuck your chair in softly, throwing it against the desk and storming out the way you came.
He was still in his regular spot when you stalked past him, his head turned down as he read through his notes, multiple empty chocolate wrappersw spread across the table. 
“Fucking asshole.” You muttered as you walked past him, not bothering to spare him a second glance as you huffed and stormed away, hoping to find some peace in your dorm. 
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When you got to your dorm, you were so hungry that you began to feel sick. Realising that in your anger you had forgotten to eat, you wandered down to the pub not far from campus and got a cheap little meal, eating quietly in the corner, a telly playing a soccer game on the screen in the back. 
There weren't many patrons that night, but you could hear the pool table being used in the distance, the loud clacking of the balls being sunk, drowning out the soft sound of the telly. The pub stunk of stale beer and cigarettes, ring stains on all the wooden surfaces from sweating glasses.
It was still early when you finished, and so you made the decision to check out the commons and see if a tv was free.
The night air was cold as you walked back to your dorm, your teeth chattering in your skull as you sped walked, wrapping your arms around yourself to get back into the warmth of the old building. Lights illuminated the old stone walls in a yellow light, casting shadows on the cobblestones and bare trees around you.
It would have been spooky if you weren’t used to it by now, and could understand how first years would become spooked at night alone, walking through the courtyards.
As you made your way towards the common room in your building, you couldn’t help but think about the man in the library. His sandy hair, blue eyes, sharp features and sharper mouth. Who needed a heater when you had this man to fire you up? You could almost hear his grating tone as he mocked you, his glasses shining in the library as he looked down his nose at you.
He made you feel small, unwanted. But you had worked hard to get into Oxford, and you, whether he liked it or not, had earned your place. 
It wasn’t unlike the men you already knew in STEM to be somewhat assholes, especially towards women or any degrees they deemed ‘unfit’ or ‘unworthy’. You had heard many scoffs and sneers at the Arts students, or English Literature kids, especially if it was women, from the STEM boys who seemed to hoard together like a bunch of flies. Or better yet, like a Rat King, unable to break the connection between each other despite how much they fought it.
It was, to follow the pun, a rat race.
The hall was dark as you walked to the commons, but from the window of the door, you saw the tale tell sign of the telly being on. You wondered momentarily if it was anyone you knew that had stayed back, perhaps one of the girls.
Maybe you could settle down with them and watch whatever mind melting soap opera was on, and lull yourself into a stupor. 
The prospect of talking to someone almost dissolved your sour mood, and by the time you opened the door, peering into the flickering light illuminated room, a small smile had begun to pull at your lips.
But that smile was short lived as your eyes met a pair of pale blue ones.
You watched as his lips pulled down in recognition of you, his head turning to look back at the telly. Your heart began to race in your chest again, the door clicking shut behind you, the soft sound of Doctor Who’s theme song filling the room, the screen reflecting off of his rectangular lenses. 
It didn’t help that the small drinks you had at the pub seemed to ignite your previous disdain for the man, as well as dampening your, for a lack of a better word, cognition.
In that moment, you were at a loss of what to do. You wanted to watch tv, but the idea of being anywhere near him infuriated you. Yet, at the same time, you didn’t want to give him the satisfaction by leaving, indicating to him that you had given up, and that he had won.
“You going to stand there all night?” He teased cruelly, eyes not once turning back to you, locked on David Tenant as he ran through an abandoned warehouse.
You bristled, teeth grinding down against each other as you stormed past him, “Fuck you.” You dropped down onto the cushion on the other end of the couch. 
From the corner of your eye, you could see his lips purse slightly, obviously hearing you.
No matter how much you tried, you could not get comfortable on the couch, and it wasn’t because the couch had a natural groove from the many people who sat in it, or the obvious stains on the covers and arms, some recognisable, others dubious, nor the permeating cigarette smell that emanated from deep within the foam, but rather because he sat all too comfortable beside you, watching a show you wished you could watch alone.
You shifted against the arm again for the umpteenth, huffing softly in the room. Your ass had fallen asleep because you sat ramrod straight and refused to relax, tucking your legs beneath you not leaning back. No matter what you did, you could not settle, body gearing up for a fight.
When you shifted again, it seemed to pull his attention away from David Tenants doctor.
“You gonna keep huffing in the corner like a baby?”
Your already fragile thread of patience snapped.
“What the fuck is your problem? Have I done something to you? I don’t even know who you are.”
Apparently that was the wrong thing to say to him. The man sneered, leaning towards you on the couch, “My problem is vapid little cunts like you. Getting by on mummy and daddy’s money whilst the rest of us have to work to stay here. You just party and fuck each other like rats.” His cold eyes razed up and down your body, watching as your face morphed from anger to offence, and then, to rage.
You shot up from your seat, moving to stand over him as he looked up at you, face barely containing his hatred. 
“I don’t have ‘mummy’s and daddy’s money’, I’m here because I worked hard to be here.” You hissed, hands clenched into fists at your sides, “You know nothing about me.” 
“I know you’re friends with Felix Catton and every other vapid, useless cunt that hangs off of his every breath.” His voice lowered, hatred simmering behind his light illuminated glasses.
Your brows furrowed, “Felix and I have a class together. Assigned seating. We walk there together. If-” You straightened, looking down at him before it hit you.
A laugh of disbelief flew from your lips, and soon enough the cocksure anger melted away from his sharp features, replaced by confusion.
“Wow.” You huffed, a bitter laugh filling the air, “You’re jealous.” His eyes narrowed on you, “You’re jealous of Felix.” You watched as his mouth snapped open, “Maybe if you weren’t so-“
“-I’m not fucking jealous of those nobodies.”
Snorting, you shook your head, “Nobodies… Yet people know their name. I don’t even know who you are.”
You waited for him to give you his name, to finally tell you who this infuriating man was, the credits of Doctor Who playing in the background as you stared at each other. Your chest heaved, but all you felt looking down at him was irritation.
“Your anger is misdirected." You growled, "I thought you would be smarter than that.”
The man's jaw ticked, “I thought you didn’t know who I was.”
“I don’t.”
You turned away, suddenly drained from the whole interaction. You didn’t bother to turn back and look at him, or even say another word. You wanted to go to bed, no, needed to go to bed and get away from the man on the couch before you tore your hair out.
As you opened the common room door, his voice called out to you.
“Y/n L/n.” 
The way he said your name sent goosebumps rising on your skin, each syllable pronounced slowly, as though he was savouring your name on the tip of his tongue. Your hand paused on the door as you pushed it open, looking back at him. 
“And who are you?”
Before he could answer, you left, slamming the door shut behind you. You marched straight back to your room, hands in such tight fists that your nails left half crescent moons in the flesh of your palms.
You lay awake most of the evening staring at the ceiling with the interaction on your mind.
He knew you by name, even thought you were friends with Felix, and whilst you weren’t not friendly with him, you wouldn’t say you were closely acquainted. You drank at the same parties sometimes or saw him down at the pub, but the only one-on-one time you had with him was in class. 
Whoever this man was, and whoever he thought you were, he was wrong. And now he was going to regret it.
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You knew he would be there, in fact you betted on it, getting up extra early to go to the library to do the one thing you planned on doing that day.
Piss him off.
If there was one thing that men hate the most in the world, it was not being in control, and that was doubled if it was with a woman.
You sat at the table he always did, spreading your textbooks and papers, pens, notes, snacks, water bottle, and even IPod Nano on its surface. You had brought extra things with you today in your bag to spread across the table, some things not even needed to study, but used to take up more space and soil his little territory.
The sun had barely even risen by the time you laid it all out, but you knew it would all be worth it.
And it was, because not even fifteen minutes later, he arrived to the sight of you at his desk, humming as you looked at your notes.
His feet stopped not too far from your (his) table, watching as you met his gaze, devoid of emotion. You bit the inside of your cheek to stop yourself from smiling, watching as he clenched his teeth in irritation.
He was almost shaking with anger.
Got you.
You kept the image of innocence, looking back down at your notes as you tapped your pen against the tables surface loudly. You could see his fists clenching in your periphery at his side, his pale green button up shirt with long beige pants shifting side to side as he stood angrily watching you.
“What are you doing?” The blonde’s voice cut through the quiet of the library, irritation evident in his tone.
You didn’t bother to look up, pen still clicking rhythmically against the table, “Hm?”
“You think you’re clever, don’t you?”
Placing the pen on your page delicately, you looked up, “Pardon?”
The mans cheeks flushed an angry red as he stared down at you, lips pulling into a tight line, “Whatever you think-“
“-I’m sorry,” You interrupted him, leaning forward to look up into his eyes sweetly, “Do I know you?”
The man leant forward and sneered, “Gavey.”
“Gavey?” You titled your head, biting your lip softly in thought.
Why did that name sound so familiar?
“Yes.” He grit through his teeth, looking down at your spread notes and gear.
Then it came to you.
“Gavey! Michael Gavey!” You beamed up at him, leaning slightly forward on the desk.
Now you knew why he was so familiar.
“You’re the maths genius.” It wasn’t a question, it was a statement. Anyone who had heard about Michael Gavey knew about his stellar intellect when it came to maths, and unfortunately for him, they also knew about his little antisocial outbursts, “You yelled at Oliver on O week.”
You watched with delight as the anger fell momentarily from his face, and embarrassment replaced it. You leant further forward, putting both elbows on the table as you rested your chin on your hands, looking up at him through your lashes.
“Is it true then? You can do any sum just in your head?”
If it was true, he needed to be studied by a team of scientists.
And maybe a behavioural therapist.
Michael stood taller, proud to have been recognised for this part of him as he watched you bat your eyelashes at him. His shoulders rolled back, eyes glimmering with determination behind his glasses.
Men were so easy.
You just stroke their ego a little and their guard comes down immediately.
“Ask me.” His voice was soft, confident, waiting on bated breath to show off his born skill.
You smiled, “Alright. Seven-hundred-and-eighty-nine multiplied by six-hundred-and-fifty-four.”
Without missing a beat, “Five-hundred-and-sixteen-thousand-and-six.”
“Divided by twelve.”
“Forty-three-thousand point five.”
“Times nine.”
“Three-hundred-and-eighty-seven-thousand-and-four point five.”
You leant back in your chair watching him. It was impressive, and if he wasn’t such a prick, you would have openly praised him. But you didn’t have it in you in that moment to give him anything but a lengthy stare, using the time to get a good look at his face without the sneer.
He was handsome, a long face framed nicely by his ‘devil may care’ hair. You wondered if he even bothered to brush it in the morning. The longer you looked at him the more you could see how his sharp features and soft lips would in fact get him the attention he so desperately craved, if only he wasn’t as insufferable as he was. In fact, the more you thought about it, if things had been different, perhaps you would have pursued him, maybe even asked him out for a drink.
Instead, he had made an enemy for himself, and being petty at this point was a hobby for you that you took great time and pleasure in doing, especially if it was for assholes who made the first move unwarranted. 
“Hm.” You tapped your pen against the table, “How do I know it’s correct and you're not just making it up?”
This seemed to anger Gavey.
“I’m not making it up. I do the sums,” He narrowed his eyes, “In my head.”
“I don’t have a calculator to confirm this. For all I know, you could be lying.”
The anger was back, “I’m not lying. I’m never wrong.”
“Sure.”
“I’m a genius.”
“Uh huh.”
Then came the vitriol, his shoulders tensed in rage, “What would you know anything about maths? You’re a History and Philosophy major.” Michael scoffed, seeming to think that his disdain for your degree would upset you in the slightest.
You sighed loudly, pulling the earphones from your Ipod to begin putting them in your ears. You looked at him pointedly, putting a sad little smile onto your lips. 
Show time.
“It’s a shame, you know.” You said sadly.
“What?” Michael responded, over-eagerly.
The earphones sat in your ears and you scrolled down to a song you wanted, letting the music begin to play loudly just to piss him off, the noise turned up high enough for him to hear the lyrics. You didn't show it, but it was too loud, and most certainly hurt your ears, yet it was worth it to see his nose scrunch up.
“That you’re a snob.” Your voice rose over the music in your ears, unable to hear anything but the loud bass line that bounced in your head, “You’re actually cute when you’re not sneering at me.” You let your eyes drop back to your page, ignoring his presence as you strummed the pen loudly against the wood of the desk, unable to hear if he responded, but also not bothered to hear him. You had ended the conversation just the way you wanted.
And it would drive him nuts.
What you hadn’t seen was his mouth opening and shutting multiple times as a blush spread across his cheeks. He stood idly by, utterly unable to produce a single word or sound bar clearing his throat. Michael disappeared from your periphery as he left to sit at the table at the end, dropping into his seat to begin his studies.
But it proved to be fruitless, because as he attempted to settle into the endless stream of equations, all he could hear behind him was the tinny sound of your music blasting from your earphones and the steady grating tap of your pen.
He tried, in vein, for over an hour to focus, before giving up and storming out of the library. It was only then when you lifted your head, smiling at his retreating figure in triumph. 
I win.
Not a word had been written on your page, and not a thing had been absorbed in your head. You lowered the volume of your music, a ringing settling into your ears, before packing up your things to go back to your dorm, deciding that a job well done was deserving of some respite, and in your good mood you would actually read your book.
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You spent the rest of your day and better part of your evening reading, lounging, and snacking on some chips as you snuggled into your sheets. 
Being the creature of habit that you were, you ended your triumphant day going to the pub to have another cheap meal and a drink or two, spending a considerable amount of the evening chatting up another student who had also stayed behind during the break.
He was cute, and funny, and although he hinted more than once that he would like to continue your evening back in either one of your dorms, you didn’t have the energy to entertain a potentially dull night of barely there pleasure. 
He smiled too wide and had too much confidence to really know what he was doing, and you felt immediately that he would be the type to get his and leave you high and dry. So you parted, promising emptily to get another pint together soon enough, though you knew it wasn’t your stellar verbal company that he wanted.
Sinking into bed that evening was an easy and pleasurable experience. You crawled into your sheets, smile on your face and victory on your tongue. Your tit-for-tat was successful, and now you could finally just focus on your work, and not the sandy haired Michael Gavey who seemed to invade your every thought. 
-
The sun trickled through the curtains by your bed, a warm stream of light hitting your face. You woke with a stretch, body slowly waking up with the day.
You didn’t have much planned after yesterdays success, and didn’t have a want to do much at all, but there was only so much lounging in bed one could do over the many weeks of break, so you decided to go back to the library, at least for an hour to make up for yesterdays losses (despite the personal win). 
You looked around your room and settled on a skirt and some tights with a turtle neck sweater, unable to find anything else as a pile of dirty clothes had slowly accumulated in the corner. You made a note to yourself to take it to the laundromat later with some coins and your book. 
The walk to the library was the same monotonous one as it always was. The same stone walls, the same dark wooden detailing and floor, the occasional beautiful stained glass window, and the ever strange silence of an empty college. There was a light layer of frost on the grass outside, and you wouldn’t be surprised if it would snow. The trees were bare except for a handful of orange and brown leaves, hanging on for dear life, or perhaps, holding on with dead fingers.
Rigor mortus of the petiole.
The steps creaked beneath your feet as you made your way up to your usual spot, the library cold as it always was, causing you to wish you had brought a warmer jacket with you. When you got to the landing, you expected to see him, sandy hair, glasses slipping down his sharp nose, hunched over the same textbook as he wrote out his equations with dizzying speed, but the tables were empty, and the aisles were barren, and all that was in the library was you.
Briefly you wondered for a moment if something has happened to him. Had he gotten sick? Too ill to crawl out of bed, laying in his sheets with a fever and no one to comfort him?
You frowned at the thought. 
Why did you care?
His ego was likely too bruised to show his face, and was hidden in another alcove or other smaller library somewhere else, or perhaps even in his room.
Maybe he even had friends, and decided to spend the day with them, likely another student in STEM. 
You could have sworn you saw him and Oliver Quick in the pub one night together.
You walked past his empty table and continued down the end to where your little nook was, grazing your fingers along the spines of the books as you went. Each ridge another spine, each spine another thousand upon thousand of words that had been read, dissected, and rewritten by many a student. You liked to think about how many hands had touched the pages, how many eyes had skimmed the words, how many bags, beds, tables, couches, cars or trains they had been in over the years, and how many times you had read them, or held them in the same spot.
You emerged from the isles to your nook.
It was not what you had expected that morning.
Certainly not what you had expected any morning come to think of it, but even so, your steps halted and your heart began to quicken, anger slowing creeping up your neck, heating your face.
He was sat at your table.
Your table.
His glasses had slid down almost to the tip of his nose, a long slender finger daintily pushing them back up to the bridge, lips pouted in their natural pout as his hand flew about his notes, writing equation after equation in a speed that would intimidate even Einstein. Michaels hair was disheveled, as though he had run his hand through it multiple times, as he contemplated the pros and cons of sitting there. 
He must have landed on the pros.
“What are you doing.” You bit out, an irritating sense of dejavu seeping into your bones.
Michael didn’t look up at you, your feet almost pushing through the floor, anger rooting you in place.
“Hm?” Came his noncommittal reply.
It set you off.
“You’re in my seat.” You hissed, swiftly stepping towards him.
The light from the window beside him cast shadows across half his face as he looked up at you, he sucked his teeth loudly, “Your seat?”
“Yes.”
“I see.” His head dipped back down to his notes, his blue eyes looking up at you from under his lashes as his hand continued to write, “This is a public library. It’s a public seat.”
You stormed forward dumping your bag atop his hand, his pencil scraping across his notes on the paper, “You know exactly what I mean.”
His jaw ticked, steely blue eyes flicking to where you dumped your heavy bag atop his notes and own text book.
“I’m sorry, I’m not tutoring on break.” His tone all too demeaning as he over pronounced each word.
Your hands slammed down onto the desk as you leant forward towards his face, “I don’t need a tutor and you know it, you miserable little cunt.” Anger boiled inside of you, building and building, ready to burst. 
Michael bristled, “Who the f-“
“-Oh, fuck you, Michael. You’re a miserable piece of shit, thinking you’re above everybody else, sneering at anyone who dares to be happy. I’ve seen you, always sulking about in the shadows because no one can stand to be around you.”
The silence was almost deafening.
Oh God.
That was a low blow.
You had taken it too far.
You swallowed thickly, suddenly feeling very guilty, “Michael,” You started, “That was-“
A pale hand lifted in front of your face, the man standing almost near silently in front of you. He went from below you, to towering above in a split second, his sheer size double your own. He stared down his sharp nose at you with a look of contempt, the rage behind his eyes flickering with barely held restraint.
“Do you want to know what I think?” His voice was low, lower than you had ever heard it go, emotion almost drained entirely from it except an icy edge which sent the hairs on the back of your neck on end.
You stayed silent, watching as he stepped away from the desk, chair scraping on the wood to come towards you slowly, your heart beating like a drum behind your ribs.
Though you could step back, his eyes kept you glued to where you were, head craned up to look at him as he came closer, the tension in his jaw growing with every passing second.
It was unnerving, and everything within told you to run, but something made you stay.
Call it guilt.
Or intrigue.
His hand dropped to his side, slow, calculated steps coming closer, each one as silent as the next as his cheek twitched whilst looking you over.
“I think,” He began, a foot away from you, voice low, “That you’re just desperate enough to accept the scraps that they give you, because you fear if you don’t,” Another step, taking him toe-to-toe with you, “That you’ll be a nobody like me.”
Your mouth became dry, lips slightly parted as a tinge of hurt spread through your chest.
You shook your head faintly, “I don’t think you’re a nobody.”
A brow lifted, “You called me a nobody.”
“I was wrong.”
“Wrong because it was hurtful? Or wrong because you have more in common with me than you do with them.”
You shook your head, “Why is it always about them?”
“It is always,” He sneered, “About them. I have watched you take what little you can get from them like a beggar. Talking to Felix in the hallways, doing his homework for him, smiling at him like a dolt.”
Your eyes widened in surprise.
“I’ve seen you.” His shoe bumped against yours as he leant forward, “You’re nothing to them. How long was it before they even learnt your name?”
“Stop it.” You whispered, feeling tears prickle in your eyes.
Michaels head tilted, “Why? It’s the truth.”
“It’s not.”
The sandy haired man clicked his tongue at you, head tilting, “You and I both know that’s not the truth, is it? What did Farleigh call you again?”
A lone tear fell down your cheek, leaving a wet track in its path. Your lip wobbled as you tried to keep your composure.
You didn’t know how he knew.
You didn’t know how he could have known what Farleigh had said to you that night, drinking in the pub together.
You hadn’t even meant to join them, but their table grew bigger and bigger until it swallowed your own and soon enough they were buying you shots. It was never a regular thing, you were never quite in the circle, but not quite out of it either. More-so lingering in the nothingness of neither here nor there. 
Michael looked at you pityingly, not in a way where he held empathy for you because of it, but in a way where he pitied you for being the way you were. It was demeaning. Cold. 
Detached.
“Parvenu.” His lips pronounced each syllable slowly, darkly, and it made you ache.
Another tear fell as you took a sharp intake of breath, sniffling roughly. 
Shame built inside of you. 
It was humiliating to relive that moment, let alone with Michael. And now that you knew he had witnessed or heard it, you wondered who else may have been there to hear Farleigh’s degrading comment and snort of a laugh followed. The way he would raise his brows at you the rest of the night as if to say ‘See? You don’t belong here, and we can all see it’, ‘We let you here because we can’.
“I don’t understand-“
Michael interrupted you, "-You let them walk all over you, and for what? Parties and accolades?” The corners of his lips turned downwards, “They don’t even respect you. Do they know that you’ve stayed behind on break alone? Do you think they’ll think of you in their mansions? Do you think Felix would ever-“
“-You talk about them as if they’re irredeemable, but they’ve been far nicer to me than you have.” Another tear fell, and your stomach tied itself in knots. 
The anger seemed to simmer in his eyes, “They don’t deserve you.”
Your brows pulled down in confusion, “What?”
“You let them use you, chasing after their fleeting affections. It’s pathetic.”
Anger began to simmer inside of you, “Pathetic? You know what’s pathetic?” You leaned up on your toes, “The fact that you have so clearly been watching me, and everything that I do, and not once have you tried to be my friend. Do you know what’s pathetic?” Your voice began to rise, heat inside of you rising with it, “Your anger and hatred of them clearly stems from jealously and embarrassment because they would never talk to-“
Your eyes widened in shock, his lips crashing against yours as he yanked you forward, hand at the back of your head pulling you in tightly. You were so in shock, you didn’t know what to do, standing stiffly in his arms as the other circled your waist and pulled you against him. 
It only took a second for your brain to come to with what was happening, your eyes sliding shut as you kissed him back roughly, all teeth and vitriol as you bit the soft flesh of his lips roughly. He hissed, pulling you closer, your feet stumbling against his as he backed you towards the wall of books beside the desk. 
Your spine hit the shelf roughly as he shoved you back, both of you panting before you grabbed his shirt angrily, yanking him back towards you. You were so furious, so almost feral that you needed this more than you would have thought.
There was something about him, something about him that made you want to pull your hair out and also sit on his face to silence him. 
His kisses weren’t skilled, but they were filled with passion as his teeth clashed against yours, a fight for dominance ensuing as you let a hand slide up into his hair and pull. A grunt came from deep within his chest as you yanked at the roots cruelly, hoping it would hurt him. Heat built in your gut rapidly, the need for him growing stronger with each passing second. 
The hand on your waist slid down further, pulling up your skirt as his fingers pressed against your clothed core. You gasped into his mouth, hips thrusting forward from the pressure. With the other hand disappearing from the back of your head, it met the other between your legs, hooking into the gusset of your tights before you heard a loud rip, cold air immediately hitting your core. 
You gasped loudly, Michael taking advantage as he slid his tongue into your mouth, flicking it upwards against the back of your teeth. He tasted faintly like chocolate, and it was a taste that you didn’t mind at all. His fingers immediately sought out your centre, sliding impatiently between your folds to gather the wetness from your entrance. 
His movements were sloppy, yet focused, drawing it up to your clit as he rubbed fierce circles into it that bordered on painful. You nipped his bottom lip harshly again, yanking his head back and away from you to look at his face as two long digits circled your entrance. 
The pupils of his eyes were enlarged, almost swallowing the blue of his iris whole. His cheeks were flushed a dusty pink, and lips a deep red after your bites. The glasses upon his face were slightly skewed and lightly fogged, the hair atop his head sticking up in different directions from your rough handling. You didn’t even get to observe him for longer before he roughly shoved the two fingers inside.
“Fuck.” You hissed, back arching towards him, shoulders roughly pushing into the bookshelf.
A mean smirk pulled on his lips as he crooked his fingers against the front of your walls, quickly thrusting his hand in and out with dizzying speed. Your breath caught in your throat, brows pulled down as you looked at him, low whine falling from your lips.
“So wet already.” Michael teased, thumb lightly brushing your pearl, a spark of intense pleasure shooting up you. 
You pulled his head back towards you, moaning into his mouth as he continued to fuck you with his fingers, the sound of your arousal loud in the both of your ears. Michael pulled up one of your legs, hooking it around his hip, the cold metal of his carabiner pressing sharply into your inner thigh. Pleasure began to wind tightly in your gut, his long fingers reaching parts of you, your own couldn’t. 
Panting against his mouth, your hand flew behind you to grip one of the wooden shelves, elbow bumping against the spines of the books.
His pace never once faltered, all those hours of quick equations all day boosting his hand strength and stamina. You were surprised that he even knew what he was doing, but the questions floated aimlessly in the back of your mind, not quite sticking.
Your nails dug into the wood of the shelf, hand falling from his hair to his shoulder as your head fell backwards against the shelf, your peak barreling towards you.
“S’close. Please.” You whined, rolling your hips into his hand.
A mean laugh broke your peace, his fingers pulling out of you sharply, preventing you from reaching your release. Your eyes flew open, brows furrowed in frustration as you looked at him, smug smirk on his lips as he brought his fingers up to his mouth, sucking on the arousal soaked digits. 
You moaned weakly looking at him as he did it, hips rolling towards him in an attempt to get him to touch you again. Michael lips pouted at you as he pulled his fingers from his mouth with a wet pop.
“Touch me.” You breathed, pulling him towards you with your leg, the zipper of his cargo pants pressing against you sharply. You sighed, rubbing your centre against his pants, a wet patch no doubt beginning to stain the front of them. 
“So desperate.” He cooed at you, your core clenching at his words as your eyes fluttered.
The hand that had been inside of you quickly made its way to the front of his pants, the other joining as he hastily undid his belt, not pulling it through the loops, followed by his button and zipper. Michael hastily reached into his pants and pulled out his hardened length, the tip pink and weeping, veins crawling up the sides.
You swallowed thickly as you looked down. 
Oh shit. 
Michael was very well endowed.
You didn’t know what shocked you more, the fact that he had such a sizeable cock, or how he thrust it up into you without warning. The stretch was bordering painful and you cried out loudly, Michaels hand slapping across your mouth to stifle the sound. 
“Quiet.” He hissed, pushing in to the hilt, the tip of his cock brushing against your cervix. Your eyes screwed shut as you whined into his palm, your walls struggling to accommodate him as he slowly pulled out, each vein and ridge catching on your inner walls deliciously.
The slow heat inside of you began to build once more. 
Michael thrust into you sharply, your head banging against the back of the shelves as he kept his hand against your mouth, the other holding your hip against him. He set a brutal pace, fucking into your slick walls without abandon as he chased his own pleasure, punching the air out of your chest. 
“Fuck.” He hissed, forehead pressing against your own as he looked down to where you were joined, the leg you stood on stretched on your tippy toe to meet his height as he fucked you, “Your cunt is fucking tight.” 
“Mmm.” You moaned, eyes slipping shut as the coil within your gut began to wind rapidly, each brutal thrust stretching you wide against him with painful pleasure. 
“You gonna cum?” He panted, his eyes shutting behind his glasses that slid down his nose, “Can feel you squeezing my cock. Fuck.”
You nodded desperately beneath his hand, eyes opening to meet his steely gaze as he pulled his head back to watch you, the book shelf creaking as he fucked you against it.
You were so close, so fucking close. 
“Go on.” He commanded, “Cum on my cock like a little slut.”
Your core clenched around him, blinding white pleasure coursing through you as you came, his hand falling from your mouth as you moaned loudly, the noise echoing in the library.
“Shit, fuck. I’m gonna-“ Michael’s thrusts stuttered as a long moan burst from his lips, the warmth of his cum filling you.
You whined, hands gripping his hair as you crashed your lips against his, kissing him lazily as you both panted, his cock throbbing inside of you as your walls squeezed every last drop from him. 
Michael pushed as deep as he could go, the warmth of his cum beginning to leak around the base and down your thighs as you pulsed around him. Your mind was blank, fuzzy warmth spreading through your limbs in a soporific manner. He broke away from the kiss, breathing heavily as he looked down at you, glasses slightly foggy.
You searched his eyes and his face before a smile cracked on your lips. Michael mirrored it with a lopsided grin, huffing as he breathed out deeply.
Feeling a burst of confidence, you let a hand brush between your legs, swiping some of his cum that had dripped onto your thigh up to your mouth. You licked it off your finger slowly, opening your mouth to let him see the mess on your tongue before swallowing.
Michael’s adams apple bobbed, his cock twitching inside of you, “Fucking hell.”
You huffed another laugh, leaning forward to kiss him again, sliding your tongue into his mouth so he could taste himself as well as you on his tongue. He hummed loudly, dropping your leg to cradle your head in his hands. 
When you broke away once more, you couldn’t help but notice the glaringly obvious. 
Michael Gavey just fucked you in the library.
His tongue wet his lips as he looked at you, “Was that good?” A beat, “For you?”
“Yeah.” You breathed, “You?”
“Yeah.”
Silence began to stretch between the two of you before you shifted your hips, Gavey took the hint and slowly slid from your walls, causing you to whimper from the overstimulation. He tucked himself into his pants as you righted yourself, looking down at the gaping hole in the gusset of your tights.
“Well this will be an interesting walk home.” You mused, a hum of a laugh tickling the back of your throat.
Michael snorted, “Made quite the mess.”
“You did.”
Michael smirked, “It wasn’t all me now. I can’t take all the blame.”
You let your skirt drop, smoothing it down as you stepped away from the bookcase, looking back up at him.
“I suppose not. There was effort on both ends here.”
“There was.”
You nibbled at your lip, the unspoken words just at the tip of your tongue, “Michael-“
“-27. We’re in the same block.” His eyes searched yours.
Room 27? Why-
“Did you want to get a drink?” Michael blurted, shifting on his feet awkwardly as though you hadn't just fought and angrily fucked against a bookshelf. 
You looked at him closely. There was no sign of insincerity in his eyes.
He was offering an olive branch. 
You let a smile wash over your face, enjoying how his own came to match it.
“Sure."
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Thanks so much for reading along with me, if you wish to be added to any tag list please let me know :) Likes and reblogs are greatly appreciated ! <3
Taglist: @magnificentdelusionr @twglitching @fan-goddess @mydemimonde @itsshizyne @4v1d-m3t4l-3nj0y3r @liv-cole @lcecgg @sepherinaspoppies @marihoneywk @trashy-panda777 @bellaisasleep
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vettelsvee · 4 months
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THIS IS ALL MY FAULT | Sebastian Vettel
f1 masterlist | wattpad | ao3 | requests or let's talk!
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sebastian vettel x platonic!photographer!reader
based on this request: Okay! So after watching the run Sebastian organized at Imola, I has the idea of reader being someone that works for him (not sure what for though) maybe getting really sick for running in the rain that day, which ends up with Sebastian feeling guilty over it. It’s a silly idea, really, but I think it has a lot of potential to vibes similar to what Sebastian seems to have with the drivers, kind of playing dad to the grid 🥺.
summary: you work as a photographer during the forever senna tribute seb prepared, but you end up being sick
word count: 1618
warnings: none of them really! seb feeling guilty because he thinks reader got sick because of him.
a/n: I'm finally back! sorry for not posting at all during all this past month, university has had me really stressed but I'm finally free from it until september! idk if this is actually something well written because i haven't written anything for a month! also, hope you anon like this even it's definitely crap 😭
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© VETTELSVEE (2024). please, do not steal, copy or translate my works. thanks for reading!
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The rain kept falling on the circuit, but that wasn't such an excuse for Sebastian and his team to cancel what they had been working on for months.
The run that the retired driver had decided to organize on Thursday not only with Formula 1 drivers, but also with those from Formula 2 and 3, and even other members of the sport, in honor of Ayrton Senna and Roland Ratzenberger, was more than perfect. It was an absolute success. And Sunday, when Vettel would drive the car that once belonged to the Brazilian pilot who died 30 years ago on that same circuit, hadn't even arrived yet.
You had been busy taking photos of everything, as you were Sebastian's official photographer. Now, you were gathering all the equipment you had used because the cold you were enduring was barely bearable. You had been out in the rain all day, following Seb wherever he went, which had made you feel increasingly worse. Now, your hands couldn't stop shaking, and you felt like you were about to faint at any moment.
"Y/N, are you okay?" one of the team members asked.
"Yes, of course," you replied with a weak smile. "I'm just a bit cold. I'll be back to be the same me as soon as we get back to the hotel."
The man nodded, not wanting to press you further despite not being very convinced by your words after seeing your completely pale face.
You decided to continue with your work, ignoring anyone who approached you to exchange even the slightest word. You tried to ignore the growing headache, the fatigue, and the tightness in your chest, which seemed to be worsening. Although the rain had stopped and you were in one of the garages, the sky remained dark.
You were surprised to see Sebastian, still wearing a short-sleeved shirt and shorts, just a few meters away from you. You shook your head, trying not to pay attention, and certainly not to worry. He was just your "boss," so to speak, and he was old enough to know what he needed to do to avoid getting sick. Well, he also had Britta, who was like a second mother to him.
A sharp pain pierced your temples. You staggered slightly, and if it hadn't been for your momentum making you lean your back against the wall behind you, you would have fallen to the ground.
"For God's sake, Y/N, you look terrible," he said as calmly as he could, though you could sense his nerves in his tone of voice. "You should go and have a rest. Like… now."
"Seb, we still have a lot to do. It's not just packing up the equipment, but also transferring the photos to the computer, editing them, then preparing the posts for you Instagram account..."
"Y/N, I love your work, but you've done more than enough for today," he interrupted, putting a hand on your shoulder, running his fingers carefully over it. "Now, I'll talk to Britta and we'll assign it to someone who knows what they're doing, okay?"
For a moment, you considered protesting, reproaching him that this was your job, and that's why he wanted you on his team since shortly before leaving Aston Martin, but the way he looked at you made you stop. He seemed worried, very worried. That's why you ended up not only reluctantly accepting but also letting him guide you to a nearby chair.
"Stay here. I'll bring you something warm."
As you watched Seb walk away, you sighed, managing to relax somehow. You saw him enter the Red Bull hospitality, and you assumed it was where he felt most comfortable. A few minutes later, you saw the blonde with two small steaming cardboard cups. As he reached your height, he offered you one of them.
"Thank you," you murmured, wrapping your hands around the cup and taking a sip. Chocolate, something you loved, and Seb knew it perfectly.
"Do you promise you'll go back to the hotel as soon as you finish your hot chocolate?"
"I promise," you assured him. "But I can't promise that..."
"Y/N, just no work for today," he cut in, seeing that you weren't going to fulfill what you had promised. "I want you to spend today and tomorrow resting. Sunday will be a tough day for us. You can do it, at least for me, or am I wrong?"
You nodded your head as if you were seven years old again. You knew you were going to rest as much as you could in your hotel room, but that didn't mean you weren't going to do anything. As you had already planned, you were obviously going to continue with your work. You couldn't disappoint Sebastian, not on such an important weekend like this.
[...]
Sebastian accompanied you to the door of your room, and despite having exchanged a couple of messages with you on Friday, having let you rest all afternoon and part of Saturday morning, and having agreed that you would come to a meeting room in the hotel at 12pm on Saturday to finalize the details of tomorrow's tribute, he didn't see you there.
"Have you seen Y/N?" he asked Britta directly, a little distressed. "She told me she would come with no doubt."
"And she did come," the ex-pilot's PR commented, "but I sent her back to her room as soon as I saw her shivering. Her forehead was burning, and she said she had a slight fever. It wasn’t just a slight fever, Seb," Britta assured him.
The man nodded but became even more worried. Quickly bidding farewell to Roeske, he headed towards your room. He saw the door slightly ajar, possibly your mistake. He knocked softly before entering, and the sight that greeted his eyes made him feel bad instantly.
You were curled up in bed, trembling uncontrollably. You had a small towel on your forehead with cold water to see if you could control your body temperature since you couldn't take your medicine again until the corresponding hours had passed, which was already the next day.
Your face was completely flushed, and your breathing was labored.
As soon as you realized Seb's presence, your eyes welled up with tears. You tried to force a smile, but all that came out were tears from how bad you felt not only for Seb to see you like this but also for ruining something so important.
"Seb... You didn't have to come," you stammered, your voice barely audible.
"Of course, I did! Don't be ridiculous!" he responded quickly, sitting beside you. He placed a hand on your forehead and realized Britta was right. "My God, Y/N, you're burning up. Why didn't you tell me you were feeling so bad?"
"I... didn't want to worry you," you admitted between tears of frustration and exhaustion. "Tomorrow is an important day. You need to be resting to give your best tomorrow. There are people who have come just for you, Seb, you can't let them down."
You noticed him tense a bit at the mention. His lips curved, and his jaw tightened. He took a deep breath and took your hand almost without thinking.
"This is my fault..." he whispered softly. He seemed overwhelmed with guilt, and much of it. You cursed yourself for making him think that when it was all really your fault. "Nothing is more important than your health, Y/N. I'm so sorry, really..."
"Seb, it's okay, really. These things happen; it's completely normal. There's probably someone else like me..."
His silence was the response you partly expected, but it didn't hurt until you saw him shake his head.
"I just wanted to give my best so that the photos would turn out perfect and you would have content worthy of all the work you've put into this..." was all you could say.
"You're already the best, Y/N," he said softly, tucking a strand of hair away from your face. "In fact, you're so perfect that you should stop being so perfect to start worrying more about yourself. And since you don't worry about yourself... let me do it for you, okay?"
Although you didn't agree with him and didn't believe you deserved his praise, you were too weak to argue.
Sebastian stayed with you all day, including the night. He made sure you were as comfortable as possible, brought you water, and soaked the cold cloth in water to lower your fever as soon as possible, miraculously something that worked. He didn't leave your side, not even when you had a coughing fit or sneezed without covering your mouth.
Your fever began to lower in the late hours of that day. Your breath calmed down, and the color seemed to return to your cheeks. Seb sighed with relief, quickly hugging you while continuously placing small kisses on your face and playing with your hair, making you laugh incessantly.
After ordering room service for dinner, since your appetite seemed to have returned, you fell asleep, at least apparently. To avoid disturbing you, Seb went from lying down next to you to reclining on a sofa next to the bed. His eyes were heavy with tiredness, but that didn't stop him from staying alert in case you needed his help.
"Rest, Y/N," he whispered, leaving a soft kiss on your forehead before caressing it. "I guess I'll have to take you out to dinner for the damages I caused."
You smiled at the last thing Seb had said, grateful that every time you got sick, you didn't fall into a deep sleep, and wishing that what Seb had said was true.
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babsisbakery · 11 months
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The truth always comes out - (Alessia Russo x reader)
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Gif by @alunarrose
Pouring rain hits the windows of Alessia Russo and her girlfriend's apartment. You are waiting for Alessia to come home after her night out with the Arsenal girls. Sadly, you couldn't join them due to feeling under the weather. Lessi didn't want to go without you or at least not when you are unwell but you reassured her that it was okay. After all she needed to get to know her new teammates better to form a greater bond with the girls which would create an undeniable chemistry on the pitch. That didn't stop you from missing her dearly. Even mere minutes apart caused both of you to seek the comfort of the other. 
*Ding* Your phone brought you out of your endless day dreaming about your favourite striker. Looking at your home screen you see a new notification from your girl. "Babyyy how are you feeling? Did you drink enough fluids? Ugh this get together would be more bearable with you by my side. Wish you were here <3 xxx" The message warms your heart, why is your girlfriend so incredibly adorable. "I'm better Lessibear, drank the tea you made me, thank you for taking care of me <333. Miss you too gorgeous, you'll manage without me. Try to enjoy an evening with just your gal pals xx"
A thud against the window makes you look up. Just the wind blowing a branch against it. Looking out the window you see a figure running towards your apartment entrance. They are soaking wet. It’s noticeable that the person isn’t wearing waterproof clothes to prevent such events. As the person comes closer you recognize her as your best friend. Zoe knocks continuously until you make your way to open the door. She’s out of breath, apparently, she had been running a long distance. Due to her athletic nature, it is only on rare occasions that she starts to sweat even slightly from physical activities. To say you are baffled at her arrival would be an understatement. 
"Zoe wha- you know what why am I even asking. Get inside come on, don’t want you to catch something" Zoe still out of breath grins at your words. " Why thank you. Uhm I have to tell you something of urgent matter. Its ab-", you interrupt her. "As urgent as it is, please go change into something dry. You can tell me afterwards.". "But Y/n cooome on I have to tell you now" pulling out her puppy eye trick she tries to convince you. You don't falter as you've deal with these eyes for a quite a while. "Zoe, no. You can get some fresh clothes and I'll wait downstairs for you with a cup of your favourite tea. Go change. So chop chop." She sights. No way could she persuade you now. So, she gives in and changes into the clothes you had let her choose. Even though Zoe has some of her clothes at your place, as you had frequent sleepovers, she picks out one of your favourite t-shirts. Loving the faint smell of you on it. 
You never noticed her heart eyes when she looked at you. Alessia of course wasn't blind to Zoe's endearment towards you but after you assured her that there would never in a million years happen something between Zoe and you, your Lover let it slide. Even if you still thought Zoe was just overly friendly. Alessia didn’t want to cause unnecessary arguments.
After Zoe dry’s her hair a bit with a towel she ran downstairs. Not registering that you were talking on the phone to someone very dear to your heart. "Y/n/n, now I have to tell you. It’s a paramount issue." She mumbles an apology right after noticing she disturbed you, deciding to slurp on the tea you made her instead. "Sure, Leah can come over later for a drink but drive safely." only now seeing Zoe being back "Gorgeous I have to go now, we'll talk when you get home. - I love you too. Mwaa" Y/n hung up and turns to face Zoe. "Sorry I just had to talk to Lessi", you say with a slight blush "what is the oh so urgent matter". A frown makes its way onto Zoe's face after she hears the striker's name. Why does everything have to revolve around her. There it was again, jealousy. Jealousy over your relationship. Feigning sadness Zoe begins to speak "Actually its Alessia I wanted to talk about. Uhm, you know I work at the place the girls went out today?". "Oh they went to your bar, yeah totally forgot.", you let out a nervous laughter "What happened?". "Y/n I don't want to hurt your feeling but I simply have to tell you. You have to know that I will be here for you if you need me, alright?" Zoe starts to search for something on her phone. You immediately begin to overthink. What if the striker got injured and didn't tell you to not stress you out. Which could honestly happen as Alessia hates worrying you. "Did something happen to Lessi? Zoe tell me. This is freaking me out."
"Something did occur but it wasn't to Lessi but rather with her.", responds Zoe. You hate that she was beating around the bush, "Get to the point Zoe or I swea- ". "Alright, alright sorry. I- I saw Alessia. Looking rather cozy with another girl.”, utters Zoe nervously. Seeing the confusion written all over your face, she decides to continue. “Before you ask, it wasn’t one of the Arsenal girls. I’ve seen this woman a few times at the bar before but never with any of the Arsenal girls.” “What are you trying to say Zoe, this makes zero sense.”, you are still utterly baffled. “I’m sorry Y/n/n. It looked as if Alessia and this woman were flirting. Furthermore, they were standing very close like they were kissing. I know you don’t believe me right now but I realised you would only believe me if I had proof. That’s why I took photos.”, reaching for her phone, which she had placed on the sofa next to her. “Show me the pictures Zoe.” She simply shows you the taken pictures. You are in pure disbelieve. The pictures show exactly what Zoe was describing a minute ago. “No Zoe, this cant be true. It just can’t. Zoe please tell me this is a prank. Zoe please.” You are on the brim of tears. “I’m really sorry. I know it wasn’t my place to say something but I couldn’t hold this information to myself, you deserve to know.” Zoe puts away her phone.
With sadness coursing through your veins, you let the tears fall. You leap into your best friend’s arms. She didn’t want to cause you heartbreak but in her eyes it had to be done for it to work out. By stroking your back and mumbling encouraging words, she tries to make you feel at least slightly better. “Shh everything will be alright. She didn’t deserve you anyway. You were always too good for her bug.” “This cant be true Zoe, it has to be fake.” Plastering a compassionate smile onto her face Zoe speaks, “As much as I regret seeing you this way you have to open your eyes and recognize that I want what’s best for you, which clearly isn’t a cheating girlfriend, sweetie.”
These words crush your last glimmer of hope. Tears streaming down your cheeks like a waterfall. Zoe tries to wipe them away with the jumper she borrowed from you. New ones replace them as soon as the last ones were gone. Only sobs can be heard in your apartment. Your heart broken. It had shattered into million pieces. Nothing can stop your emotions from overtaking your mind. You can’t think clearly, too consumed by the thought of Alessia’s betrayal. *Poof* Seemingly gone the future you imagined with Lessi and all made promised blown away by the wind. It feels as if you’d been hit by a car over and over again. A sucker punch to your heart. Falling apart in your best friend’s arms who wants to catch you so desperately.
Even after this information you couldn’t bring yourself hate your soon to be ex-girlfriend. You just couldn’t even if you want to. You don’t want to blame or to punch her. Of course, you still love her, it was just minutes ago you accommodated this knowledge. You never pictured yourself in this situation. *After all, doesn’t Alessia love you? She showers you in it every second of the day. Were you simply not enough for her anymore? Was your love not enough? Was this all a game to her? Did she fall out of love with you without communicating it? If yes, how could she string you along. * Your brain was running wild with ideas. Some sounded more ridiculous that the other. With every added thought, the sobs got more violent.
Suddenly, the ring of the doorbell is heard. Well at least Zoe hears it because you were in your bubble of sadness, shutting out any noise or movement around you. Zoe doesn’t want to open but after continues ringing she no longer could bear the sound of it. Leah and Lessi waiting impatiently as they probably stood outside for a few minutes. They exchange worrying glances. Y/n knew they were coming, they also knew that you’d normally sprint to the door to engulf your beloved into a massive koala hug. The door cracks slightly open to reveal who is standing on the other side. Zoe quickly tries to shut the door but before she has the chance to Alessia pushes it wide ajar as the sobs of you ring into the hallway.
Your Lover runs to your side “Baby what’s wrong, why are you crying? Who do I need to beat up?”, trying to take you into her arms. Realising it was Less you push her away. She is flabbergasted to say the least. “Don’t call me that, don’t you dare call me that. How could you do this,” you say barely over a whisper, voice laced with emotions “it’s over!” Zoe has a faint smirk instantly switching to her concerned friend face. Leah still sees it and immediately connects the dots but there is no chance Less could talk to you in this state.
Alessia’s face falls. She doesn’t understand the world. Her eyes begin to water. “Tesoro,” trying to step closer to you but you instantly take one back “why, what did I do?” Desperation laces her voice. “You cheated Alessia, you cheated. Zoe showed me some pictures. You guys were so close.” At the thought of the pictures you start to sob again. Being slightly tipsy, Alessia can’t figure out what pictures you are talking about. “Y/n/n, pictures?” “Don’t play stupid Alessia. I saw them. You don’t have to pretend to love me anymore.”
Leah touches the striker’s arm to catch her attention. She whispers into her ear “She isn’t thinking clearly, she won’t listen to you either. Let her calm down and then try to explain what happened at the bar because I’m pretty sure I know what she is referring to.” Lessi shot her a confused frown, not understanding anything. “I’ll explain in the car Less but we need to give her time to collect herself. We can come back tomorrow. You are too tipsy anyway.” “Am not” If looks could kill, Leah would be buried 10 feet under already. Leah just raises her eyebrow, signalling reallyyyy. “Tesoro, I will come back tomorrow morning, so we can talk with clear minds, okay. Please hear me out, this has to be a giant misunderstanding.” Alessia walks to the door with her head hanging low. Leah squeezes your arm and follows her teammate. You can’t even respond properly due to your frequent hiccups. Zoe rushes to close the door after them.
“Y/n/n she doesn’t deserve you. She will make up some excuse for the photos. Whatever she says don’t listen.” Zoe’s plan can’t fail now or she would forever lose you. She had to have you wrapped around her finger for this to work. To believe her over Alessia, which would be hard but she promised herself to try.
Your so-called friend holds you in her arms for a while until you succumb to exhaustion from bawling your eyes out. She pulls you as close as possible. Moreover, trying to remember every detail of your face, to capture this moment in her brain for eternity, watching your breathing become more even, her gaze softens. Since you fell asleep she repositions you to lay on top of her on the sofa, so you both are comfortable and don’t wake up with sore limbs. Soon she closes her own eyes and is out like a light.
~Next morning~
Zoe wakes up first, you soon follow. It was 9 am. Upon realising that there is nothing in the pantry, Zoe decides to go to the store to buy some groceries. To make you breakfast, treating you like her princess. What she doesn’t know is that Leah and Alessia are outside, waiting in Leah’s car, obviously both with a disguise, for Zoe to leave your apartment. After she is out of sight, they take this as their opportunity to explain everything. Running to the front door Alessia unlocks it, searching every room for you. She succeeds upon entering the bathroom. While washing your face you don’t notice it was the striker. “Zoe how come you are back so quickly did you forget your money yet again?” you ask chuckling. “No, it’s me. I wan-“, Lessi tries to speak but you soon interrupt her. “What are you doing here???” But Alessia isn’t prepared for your tired sounding voice. She expects you to be livid, after Leah explained what she thought happened. “Please just hear me out, I promise it isn’t what it looked like.” With a sight you agree to listen, throwing away a long-term relationship without at least a talk seems imprudent. Lessi was or is your girlfriend after all, you aren’t so sure yourself, not giving her a chance to plead her case would be atrocious.
Leah is chilling in the kitchen, not touching anything because she knows she’d cause a disaster there, so she is sipping on a glass of water while waiting for you both to make up. Lessi wants to take your hand in hers which you notice and hesitantly she intertwines your hands, you let her. Sitting on the sofa Alessia begins “These photos are fake. I can prove it Tesoro. Let me show you something, okay?” Mumbling a response, you look at her phone. “Now can you tell me who this girl is next to me?” asks Lessi. You are at loss for words. “I- I- Ohhhh my god. Its Clara. I didn’t recognize her Lessi, I’m so sorry.” “See baby, I would never ever cheat on you. Certainly not with my cousin.” You both chuckle at her words. “I’m really sorry Lessi, I couldn’t see her face on Zoe’s photos. Also, in these you aren’t as close as in the ones Zoe took. Weird.” “It’s because she photoshopped them Tesoro. Leah saw her smirking after you said we are done.” Alessia feels bad because Zoe had been your friend for a long time, losing a “friend” isn’t easy. “Soooo, we are good right?” asks Alessia. “Of course, we are, I’m sorry for not hearing you out yesterday. It was all just too much. But we are okay.” “All good baby, I know seeing such photos can mess with someone’s head. You heard me out, that’s the important part.” A few minutes went by just the two of you wrapped in each other’s arms.
In the meantime, Leah had found some cereal to eat to distract herself. She hasn’t left guys yet because Zoe was still to return and she wanted to give her a piece of her mind.
You kiss Alessia softly, showing her with it how much you love her. She responds to it immediately, kissing you back. More soft kisses are shared between you two. They start to get more passionate, soon you straddle Alessia, forgetting Leah is in the other room. Alessia’s hands are firmly placed on your bum, giving it a squeeze. A moan leaves your lips. Her left-hand slips under your shirt, Goosebumps arise due to her cold fingers on your skin. She trails kisses down your jaw to your neck, biting slightly into the latter.
But before you can continue you hear a gasp. It’s Zoe. What a cockblock. Zoe doesn’t even have a chance to utter a word as you start to talk, “Zoe I’m disappointed and mad at you. I don’t know what Alessia or I did to you that you wanted to destroy or relationship so badly. But it didn’t work, she told me everything. Faking pictures just to point a bad light at my girlfriend. No real friend would ever do such thing. I don’t want to see you ever again Zoe. You aren’t my friend anymore. This is goodbye, so don’t contact me again.” “But I love you Y/n, I’ve loved you for some time now. I did this for us, to be able to be finally together as we are meant to be.”, stammers Zoe. “No. There was no us, there is no us and there will never be an us. Lessi is the love of my life so you can piss off.” Shooing her out the front door and closing it right in her distraught face.
Leah chimes in “Wow what a day and it just started. Honestly, I wanted to have a go at her but you rocked that Y/n/n, bravo. Welp who wants to go out for some donuts, its our cheat day after all?” You and Lessi simultaneously answer with a, “Meee”. Smiling at each other you share one final kiss before stepping out of your shared apartment to get those well deserved donuts.
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fourmoony · 7 months
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Hi! I don’t know if you’re taking requests right now but your writing is so beautiful and genuinely so captivating!
I was hoping for a possible angst / fluff kinda fic! With Remus x reader
Starting off how the two met in school and how they became friends so fast + the rest of the group…going onto how the two began dating in their 3-4th year at school…onto when they left school into a proposal and marriage.
Then when the war begins again is when the angst slips in..maybe how Remus finds reader under some rocks or even them protecting Remus..for them both to be together at the end with their hands holding and it’s all angsty!
If this isn’t your cup of tea that totally okay! <33
Hi lovely!! Thank you so much for requesting!!
this is heavy on the angst, little on the fluff, hope that's okay!!
remus lupin x reader | masterlist - 1.9k words
from the vaults, since writing gives me the heebies rn
cw - death
Remus remembers the day he met you; your pristine, fresh pressed Hogwarts robes, and your swotty attitude, charging down the Express like a tyrant, wielding confidence he sorely lacked. You'd been on the hunt for whoever set off the stink bomb just outside the carriage you were in (it was James, showing off to Sirius, their friendship quickly and surely bonded together with the residual smoke of that foul little rock). Remus remembers you, often, that way. Always ready to take responsibility - or force it onto others, for their actions - and do what you believed to be right.
He knew in that exact moment, with the soundtrack of James and Sirius' hysterical laughter, the smell of pure, unbridled dung lingering in the air, that you were the bravest person he'd ever known, that when the sorting hat was sat atop your head mere hours later, there'd be no pause, no debate, you were Gryffindor through and through.
The only thing Remus hadn't accounted for, was that he, too would be placed in Gryffindor - with his nauseous stomach, shaking hands, and scars that made him feel small, rodent like, a glint of gold in the window that catches the eye long enough to peak interest, but amounts to nothing worthy of attention; rather, disgust.
Remus still sees a lot of that up-tight, bossy attitude in you, now. But more than anything, your bravery prevails. The war has taken a lot from you, from everyone he holds dearest. The first time, it was hard. Bearable, because James and Lily were alive, because Sirius wasn't locked up and losing his mind in Azkaban. There was hope, because they had Harry, and nothing was going to happen to any of them because everyone had to live to see Harry grow up.
Fools. The lot of them had been fools, he realises. This time, it's different, harder. There are no friends, no family left. It's you, and it's Remus. It breaks Remus' old, cobwebbed heart to see everything that has been taken from you both. The innocence, the joy. All that's left of you, these days, is bravery. Bravery that shines so bright, like a leading light, bravery that holds him together on the bad days, bravery that pulls sad, scared Remus out of his cocoon of dread and fear, forces him into the light. You've always been good at that - at love, at protecting the people whom you love.
It's what you do. They hadn't known it at the time - and really, how could they have? - but James and Sirius set off a stink bomb outside the carriage of a young muggle-born girl, terrified of her new school, her future, what this change would do to her. The stink bomb went off and Mary MacDonald had dissolved into hysterical tears. From the moment you came into Remus' life, you've been a protector. Your heart is your leading light, your entire being, a soul so pure it'd make angels weep.
He shouldn't be surprised. Really. The minute it the south wall of the castle blows up, Remus should know the lengths you'll go to. The things you will do to make sure the people you love are safe.
There's dust and rubble everywhere, clouding his vision, choking him until he can't breathe, and in the minute before the wall crumbles around you, your body taking ninety percent of the blast, hands fast in pushing Remus so hard he has no choice but to stumble back, away, in a daze, he sees your eyes. They're calm. So calm it's unnerving. He knows everything that people will say you never got the chance to tell him. He's known since he was sixteen everything you feel for him, the love, the gratitude, the admiration.
You've had a life together. Not all of it has been good - war and death, losses and pain so unimaginable Remus wonders how either of you ever got through it. But the quiet moments, the happy moments, not marred by battle, or grave stones, weeping, or bone crushing sorrow. The moments where all that mattered was both of you, the love, the happiness; the joy Remus felt with you is nothing he ever thought he'd get to experience, would ever deserve.
He knows. He knows you love him, he knows you're okay with the choice you've just made. But he's surprised.
In all the years you've spent together - all the funerals you've attended together, planned together - he always thought that when the time came, you'd both go together. Asleep, old and decrepit. Something peaceful, after the life you'd shared.
But the blood is still thrumming in his veins, the cogs in his brains till whirring as he stares at the pile of rubble that's fallen around you. He thinks, rather foolishly, and only for a second, that you may have survived. He thinks your sheer will and determination could still be pulsing in your heart, the bravery you wear so honestly wrapped around you like a coat of armour. But the bond that ties you to him, the mating bond, the marriage bond - Remus has never known which is which, it's all an overwhelming amount of love, to him - pulls taught. It snaps, like wisps of smoke between you, and Remus breaks with it.
He breaks so fast and so hard that the world crumbles around him and he loses track of where he is, what he's fighting for. It comes out of nowhere, a flash of light, of bright green light and Remus is grateful to be spared of the agony, because it's barely been two minutes and he had already felt like he was dying, anyway. The pain is nothing, in comparison to losing you, to live in a world without your laugh, your smile, your hard-headed attitude. He couldn't have done it, and so he feels peace as he crumples to a heap on the ground.
Maybe a silly part of him thought that you'd be waiting at the other end. In a way, you are. But, also, you're not. Because he's watching you as you charge down the Astronomy Tower stairs, the fourteen-year-old version of himself hot on your heels. He remembers this like it was yesterday. He'd kept his secret from you so well until that year, when the growth spurt started and the wolf got bigger and the scars ran deeper, in more noticeable places. The one that ran across his face.
You'd been horrified, he remembers. The look of unbridled fury as you demanded to know who on earth had done such a thing. You were never horrified of him. No. Just the mere idea that someone had hurt him, and it made Remus feel loved, protected. You made him feel loved and protected.
He watches as you reach the bottom of the steps, twirling to face him with your signature unimpressed scowl. He feels fondness like a ball of sunlight in his chest, mouthing the words 'you're a dirty liar, Remus Lupin!' along with you, the sound of your posh swotty accent ringing in his ears.
He'd went back to his dorm that night and made the decision to tell you, came up with a plan, the easiest way to break it to you. You arrived at his door two hours later, half way through his idea list, and told him you'd figured it out. He knew then that he loved you. For all you were bossy and uptight, he loved you, your impatience, your brain, your heart. Remus was in love.
You fade from his view and Remus steps forwards as though he might be able to grab you, keep you there. But the sound of your voice ringing out turns him on the spot, and you're by the black lake, picking daisies with Sirius to make daisy chains. The memories come flooding through, reliving his life through the good moments and the bad. He watches you both fight, cry, makeup. Getting together was a long, painful process, too many miscommunications, missed opportunities. You never did nail down how to express any feelings other than anger and frustration.
But the moment he had you, Remus never let go.
He watches the memories flash by, remembers every one with a heart so full it could burst. A beautiful life, is what he had. Painful, marred by coldness and death and a beast in his heart that he could never tame. But it was beautiful, and it was full of laughter and love, and joy because he had you.
There's your first kiss, heated and mid argument - because back then, Remus had to rile you up enough to snap just to get a lick of emotion from you. You were brave in many ways. Emotions were not one of them. All the milestones are there, flitting past faster than Remus would like. The end of O.W.L. exams, the party that followed, the frantic, unpracticed hands that flitted over each other's bodies in a secluded hallway that night. Summers at the Potter Estate, lounging in the meadows by the cool stream, fires and empty cans of cider, laughing until his bones hurt and his eyes shone with tears.
Your first flat, old and dingy, but you'd danced that first night in the kitchen for so long that the broken heater didn't matter. You'd made it a home.
The day Remus proposed, terrified out of his bloody mind, shaking so hard he dropped the ring box and you'd yelped as the silver banded ring went flying. He saved for years for that ring. You'd said yes, tears of joy and love and elation at spending the rest of your life with him, and spent the next hour looking for the ring in the grass with the help of Padfoot.
You walking down the aisle, a vision of pure beauty, that signature smile you reserved only for Remus, who was waiting at the end wondering what on earth he ever did to deserve you.
Snippets of a life well-spent fly past in a hurry, the blink of an eye, and Remus begins to feel melancholy. The rest of eternity as a conscious soul, reliving all of his best memories, but missing you still. He wonders if you feel the same, if you're watching the best parts of your life fly by, wishing there was more time, more words, more everything.
"We wasted so much time forgetting what life was like, then." Your voice is soft, wistful.
Remus turns and you're there, lips pressed in a thin line, looking very much like you're ready to scald him for following you this far. But Remus Lupin decided a long time ago that he'd follow you to the ends of the earth, so what is death, to that?
"I never forgot. It just got hard to get back to that, I suppose." He wants to reach out and touch you, see if you're real, or a figment of his imagination.
You hum in pensive agreement, "I was always happy with you. You know that, don't you."
How could he ever doubt it? "Down to my soul."
That smile. That mischievous, knowing, loving smile that Remus knows like the skin and bone of his body. Your hand extends to him, as real as the day he took yours in his, and promised to love you until death parted you both. Your chin jerks to the white plane ahead, Remus has no idea how far it stretches or where it goes, but he follows you, anyway, hand in yours.
"Everyone's waiting for us." You tell him.
So, Remus follows you home.
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latinasforace · 2 months
Text
Hidden feelings
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A/N: Update!!!! Finally!!!! So so sorry for the long wait on updating… i got rlly busy irl & hit writers block as well. I also want to mention how this chapter and the story from now on will change, I was getting sick of my writing style kinda and the personality I was giving Y/N, so i’ll try to slowly implant the change. Thanks!
warnings: curse words! & typical Mean girl Boa Hancock but i can’t help it ;; she’s so Regina George coded. ugh i love them both. also
pairing: Luffy x Fem Reader
w/c: 2.5k…. ik so short <\3
previous part: here
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Chapter 3: Cruel
Time flew as you became more and more closer to Luffy and his friend group. Warming up to you and you to them as well. Not just was their influence impacting you and your confidence, you finally had a sense of belonging in this place .
After certain events last year, you serious considered transferring schools. Losing the few friendships and such an important person to you, just to be replaced by all of them in less than a month, teared your little heart. The only factor preventing you from asking your parents to transfer you, which they wouldn’t have minded at all considering you never bother them for anything ever, was the scholarship you were guaranteed to obtain if you graduated from Grand Line Academy.
The heart break was devastating but you also couldn’t allow yourself to throw all your hard work and efforts, making them be in vain for some stupid jerk who couldn’t appreciate you.
You were glad you didn’t make the decision to transfer.
For too long, you had been trapped in a cycle of loneliness and depression, hurting over the memories of your past relationship. It had been a dark period, filled with endless days of feeling isolated and unseen. But now, with Luffy and your friends, your life had taken on a vibrant new hue.
“Hey, Y/N! Catch!" Luffy's voice broke through your thoughts, and you looked up just in time to see a soccer ball hurtling towards you. With a quick reflex, you caught it.
“Nice catch!" Usopp called out, giving you a thumbs up from where he was sprawled on the grass.
“Thanks," you replied, tossing the ball back to Luffy with a little more force than necessary, causing him to stumble. You laughed as he regained his balance, shooting you a playful glare.
The bell rang, signaling the end of lunch, and you all began to gather your things. As you walked back to the school building, You felt a nice warmth wave in your chest. This was what you been missing,this sense of belonging, of being part of something more than just by yourself.
In class, Luffy sat behind you, occasionally poking you with a pencil to get your attention. Nami, who sat next to you, would roll her eyes at his antics but couldn't hide her smile at how cute you guys would tease each other. Even the most mundane classes felt more bearable with one of more of your friends around.
You had blossomed in this new environment, your confidence growing each day. You were no longer the quiet, withdrawn girl from before. Now, you walked the halls with your head held high, your beauty and charisma catching attention as time went by.
After school, your adventures continued. Whether it was racing to the arcade, lounging at the beach, or simply hanging out at the local café, every day was filled with laughter and camaraderie. Zoro and Sanji’s constant bickering, Robin’s quiet yet comforting presence, and Chopper’s endearing innocence added to the lively tapestry of their lives. As well as the chaotic actions of the others.
One afternoon, as you were walking to the park, you decided to have a little fun. You stealthily moved behind Luffy and tugged on his hat, pulling it over his eyes. “Hey! Who turned out the lights?” Luffy exclaimed, flailing his arms around comically. You stealthily moved behind Luffy, then, with a swift motion, jumped onto his back, wrapping your arms around his shoulders. “Hey! What the—” Luffy exclaimed, stumbling slightly under the unexpected weight.
“Gotcha,” You laughed, your breath warm against his ear. you held on tight, feeling the solid muscles of his shoulders and the warmth of his body.
Luffy grinned, his hands coming up to hold your legs for support. “You’re gonna pay for that, Y/N!” he declared, his voice full of playful threat.
“Oh yeah? How?” you teased, leaning closer, your lips brushing against his ear as you whispered.
Luffy’s face turned a slight shade of red, but he kept his grin. “Like this!” With a sudden movement, he shifted your weight, sending you both tumbling to the ground in a fit of laughter.
As you reached the park, the group spread out, some heading for the swings, others setting up an playing soccer on the side. You, still giggling from your little teasing on Luffy, felt a surge of happiness. You were becoming more known throughout the school now, not just for your looks, but for your lively spirit and newfound confidence.
“Y/N’s really changed huh,”Nami said, joining Robin on a bench, who was calming looking over some musical sheets.
“Yeah,” Robin agreed, her eyes on you and Luffy as he tried to balance on a seesaw. “She’s out of her shell.”
Nami smiled, squeezing Robin’s arm to regain her attention back. “So you will not guess what happened yesterday when Vivi came over…”
Their days continued—filled with silly hangouts, spontaneous adventures, and the normalcy of high school life. You knew there would be some challenges ahead, especially academic ones but with Luffy and your friends support, you felt ready. For the first time in a long while, you were truly happy.
The halls of the school were unusually quiet as you made your way back to class, having spent the past hour helping a teacher with some errands. You enjoyed the occasional solitude. Your thoughts were still on the fun had y’all shared earlier in the park, your mind filled with Luffy’s laughter and the warmth of his embrace.
As you rounded a corner, your peace was disturbed. Standing in the middle of the hallway, leaning against a row of lockers, was Boa Hancock. Known for her stunning beauty and equally sharp tongue, Hancock was probably the most known girl in the entire school, mostly for glamorous looks, destined for a future in modeling. Honestly you might’ve had a slight crush on her during your freshman year. You didn’t know if it was a sense of desiring her or having admiration for her beauty. Nethertheless, it went away as you silently noted her really rude behavior once or twice before.
She fixed you with a piercing gaze, her eyes filled with a mixture of disdain and something else—jealousy, perhaps?
“Oh my god! if it isn’t the girl who can’t keep her hands off my man," Hancock sneered, pushing off the lockers and sauntering over, her movements graceful and calculated.
You straightened, your confidence momentarily faltering under Hancock’s scrutiny. "Excuse me?” you answered back, trying to keep your tone neutral.
Hancock crossed her arms, looking you up and down with critical eyes. “You’ve been getting pretty cozy with Luffy, haven’t you? It’s pathetic how you throw yourself at him. You look so desperate.
You bristled at the insinuation but kept your composure. "Um. We’re just friends."
Hancock’s lips curved into a mocking smile. "Friends? From where I’m standing, it looks like you’re acting like a total slut. Especially since I’m dating him."
You felt a cold chill run down your spine at Hancock’s words. You opened your mouth to retort but found yourself momentarily speechless. The accusation stung, but what hit harder was the claim that Hancock was dating Luffy. You knew Luffy could be oblivious, but could he really have hidden something like that from you? And why did he always refer to Hancock as just a friend? You didn’t know whether that was true or not, but a wave of reality struck you and made you insanely guilty for having made moves or touches with him before.
“Don’t look so surprised," Hancock continued, her voice softening slightly but not losing its edge. "Luffy deserves better than some desperate girl who doesn’t know her place."
Your hands clenched into fists at your sides. You took a deep breath, steadying yourself. "I don’t know what you think you’ve seen, Hancock, but I’ve never thrown myself at Luffy. We’re just friends. And if he hasn’t mentioned you, maybe you should ask yourself why."
Hancock’s eyes flashed with anger, but before she could respond, the sound of approaching footsteps echoed down the hall. You turned to see Nami and Zoro coming towards you, their expressions immediately hardening when they saw the two of your speaking.
“Hey Y/N, Hancock.” Nami greeted, stepping in, kind of protectively beside you.
“Just having a friendly chat," Hancock said smoothly, though her eyes never left Y/N’s. "Remember what I said, Y/N.”
With that, Hancock turned on her heel and walked away, her gorgeous long black hair swaying elegantly behind her. You watched her go, a mixture of anger and confusion churning in your chest. Why would Luffy not mention dating Hancock if it was true? And why did he always talk about Hancock as if she were just a good friend?
Nami placed a comforting hand on your shoulder. “Hey what happened? Was she bothering or something.”
“No, it’s fine. She didn’t do anything to me. But I’m so confused. Are her and Luffy actually dating?”
Nami and Zoro exchanged a glance before bursting into laughter. You frowned, feeling a mix of confusion and irritation.
“Seriously? She said that?" Zoro managed to say between chuckles.
Nami wiped a tear from her eye. "Oh, Y/N, you’ve got nothing to worry about. Luffy doesn’t give a damn about dating. He’s as oblivious as they come."
You bit your lip. "So, they’re not dating?"
“Not even close," Nami confirmed, still smiling. "Hancock might like to think she’s dating Luffy, but trust me, he’s completely unaware of it."
Zoro leaned back against the lockers, shaking his head. "Luffy’s got his mind on food and soccer. Romance isn’t even on his radar. She’s delusional and she thinks they’re dating because of this one time they—“
“And honestly, Y/N, you might be a little delusional too. Luffy friend-zoned Hancock harshly a long time ago without even knowing he did." Nami interrupted while slamming Zoro’s arm harshly
You were confused at the remark but felt a wave of relief and a twinge of embarrassment. "I guess I got a bit carried away," you admitted, your face warming.
Nami patted your shoulder reassuringly. "Don’t worry about it. Hancock likes to stir up shit all the time, just a drama queen. And honestly, Luffy’s clueless. He only thinks of her as a friend."
With that reassurance, you felt a bit more at ease. Whatever Hancock’s motives are, you knew you have your friends with you and that Luffy’s obliviousness wasn’t personal. It was just part of who he was.
Zoro nodded. “if she’s really dating Luffy, I’m a monkey’s uncle."
You managed a weak smile at that. "Haha, okay then.”
As you walked back to class together though, you couldn’t help but replay Hancock’s words in her mind.
While you do have a small (not really..) crush on Luffy, were you really throwing yourself that much at him?
Her words made you insecure. Is that what you look like? DESPERATE?
You sighed. You haven’t told anyone yet about your little crush on the particular silly dude, well besides your private small social media audience, but you were worried. Like, was it really that obvious?
You also noted Nami and Zoro’s words from before and their implications, “you might be a little delusional too.” and the “you got nothing to worry about.” Did they know already? You mentally groaned, trying to drown out the heavy embarrassment you felt.
The rest of the day passed in a blur. You couldn’t focus in class, your mind tangled in a mess of thoughts and the new insecurity of being interpreted as “desperate” and touchy. When the final bell rang, you quickly gathered your things and headed for the spot where you knew your friends would be hanging out with the rest of the crew. A little feeling of just distancing yourself and taking a different route than normal arising though. You felt a pang of longing mixed with uncertainty. You liked Luffy a lot but didn’t want to weird him out or come across as desperate.
You greeted everyone with a smile but found yourself lingering on the outskirts of the group. You laughed at their jokes and joined in the conversation, but you made a conscious effort to keep yourinteractions with Luffy to a minimum.
Luffy, as usual, seemed oblivious to the subtle shift. He glanced at you a few times, his brow furrowing in brief confusion, but quickly brushed it off, focusing back on the group’s antics.
Sanji noticed your quieter demeanor and gave you a concerned look. "You alright, Y/N?" he asked, handing you a snack he had saved.
You forced a smile. "Yeah, I’m good. Just tired, I guess."
Sanji nodded, though he didn’t seem entirely convinced. "If you need anything, I’m here for you.
As you continued their walk, you couldn’t help but feel the distance growing between you and Luffy, not physically but emotionally. It was hard pretending everything was normal when all you wanted was to be close to him. But you resolved to play it cool, hoping that, in time, things would fall into place.
-
Things did not fall into place following. Infact, they got ultimately worse. Your peace had been disturbed by cruel girls who didn’t have anything better to do with their lives than make other people’s worse.
With Hancock’s words creating insecurities and adding distance to you and Luffy’s relationship over the past following weeks, she took the initiative to get closer to him.
Although the rest of the gang weren’t particularly fond of her, especially Nami and Robin, whom Hancock felt threatened by for some reason. They still withstood her presence since she was a friend’s of Luffy.
Hancock didn’t even acknowledge your presence and even made mocking intimate moves on Luffy, you assumed it was to get a reaction out of you, and Luffy being completely clueless and instead, following along.
It really irritated you, especially with learning that they’re actually rather close friends due to Hancock helping Luffy in a very difficult situation involving his older brother, whom you also never heard about until right now.
After learning of those facts, you zoned out all other thoughts and continued your studying with Chopper instead of involving in conversation. Studying and being on top of your studies was the only way to distract yourself from the boiling, almost spilling over jealousy brewing inside of you.
You acknowledge that you and Luffy were just simply good friends, but it hurt, knowing that such a stunning girl, someone who you had no competition to compete with, also harbored the same feeling as you for him. Even more with the intimacy they shared, I mean she has had to already met his family if she knows his older brother. Meanwhile, you have no idea what his life is life outside of school, soccer and the hang outs. It’s almost like you had no chance now.
That wasn’t what made matters worse, however. It was the fact that you didn’t realize that Hancock Boa and another certain green haired snake bitch were good friends.
It was a few days ago when you were heading to the courtyard where you usually met up with the gang during lunch now that the weather’s nicer. You were looking forward to some of Sanji’s homemade dishes again until you noticed the 2 girls walking ahead of you.
Boa Hancock and Monet were walking together, attached to the hip, by the fountain, chatting animatedly. The sight made your stomach drop.
"Since when are those two friends?" you muttered under your breath, ducking behind a nearby tree to observe them. It wasn’t long before you pieced two and two together. Your stomach dropped coming up with the conclusion that Monet, whom was close friends with your ex-boyfriend , could possible have shared everything about your harsh and private situation with Hancock. The worst.
Your heart pounded in your chest as the realization sank in. If Monet had told Hancock, it was only a matter of time before it became hot gossip for the entire school.
As you approached the usual meeting spot, your mind raced with anxiety. What if Hancock used that information against her? What if she tells the others and they believe her without knowing your side of the story? What if Luffy thinks differently of you? thoughts were almost too much to bear. You were sick to your stomach, you headed out of the garden and on to the nurses office, where you skipped class and remained for the rest of the day in. Texting the others and apologizing for not being with them, stating you felt nauseous and puked earlier.
Those thoughts didn’t stop, provoking you and making you over think nonstop, even more. It wasn’t until you were at home, ready for bed, after hours of lying there staring at the ceiling that your eyes finally got tired, did the thoughts stop.
It was saturday morning, and no school to remind you of your previous overthinking from before. While the light stomach feeling was there, you brushed it off and continued with your morning routine of eating breakfast with your family and brushing your teeth.
You opened your phone with multiple texts from your friend’s Group chat and some seperate texts from Nami asking if you’re feeling better & if you’re gonna tag along with them as well as what you’re gonna wear.
Your friends had planned to meet up later at this new sushi place they opened up near the area. You felt bad for ditching yesterday during lunch so you gathered up the courage to get out of bed and fix yourself up to go.
Much to your dismay, Hancock was already there, sitting in the bus stop booth with a smug look on her face. You didn’t know who invited her since there was no notification or record that she was invited to the group chat, where all the details of the meet up are in, but you lightly cursed them.
"Y/N," Hancock greeted, her tone dripping with false sweetness. "I see you’re gonna be bothering us today."
You forced a smile. "Hey, Hancock. Waiting for the others?"
"Yes," Hancock replied, her smile turning sharp. "And it looks like we are alone right now. I was meaning to let you know something.”
Your stomach churned. "About what?"
Hancock took a step closer, her eyes narrowing. "About how you should be ashamed of yourself."
Your breath hitched. "What are you talking about?"
"Oh, come on, Y/N. Don’t play dumb," Hancock sneered. "I know everything about what happened with your ex. You really think you deserve someone like Luffy after that mess?"
Your heart sank. So, it happened. Monet had shared the details of YOUR breakup with Hancock. You felt a wave of anger and betrayal wash over you. “That’s none of your business, Hancock."
"None of my business?" Hancock echoed with a mocking laugh. "Please. It’s everyone’s business when you’re trying to worm your way into Luffy’s life. You don’t deserve him. If you cheated once, you’ll do it again. and Luffy doesn’t deserve a whore.”
You digged your nails into your palms, struggling to keep your composure. "You don’t know the whole story or the truth.”
"Maybe not," Hancock conceded, "but I know enough. And so will everyone else if you don’t back off from Luffy."
At that moment, the rest of the crew started to arrive, their laughter and chatter filling the air. Hancock’s expression shifted back to its usual charm, playing innocent and unaware, leaving you fuming and on edge.
As the group gathered, Luffy noticed your tense demeanor. "Hey, Y/N, you okay?"
You forced another smile, not wanting to worry him. "Yeah, I’m fine. Just a long day."
But inside, you were reeling. Hancock’s words had struck a nerve, and now you had to figure out what would you even tell your friends, Luffy, if it is that they hear Hancock’s words without your explanation.
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a/n: hope you guys enjoyed the chapter!! Would’ve been a lot LOT much longer but it’s rlly late rn for me and I have my first day of work tmr so…. I’ll try to update soon. Thank you
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himezoro · 6 months
Text
love wins all (a roronoa zoro story, part 2) (smut)
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tysm for your support on part 1 !! this story means a lot to me, i've had a lot of vision to write it etc. it's not proofread, and it's written by a tired lawyer who's been up for the past 15 hours because of a few cases. anyway, thanks for your support, and thank you for making my days so much more bearable. ilysm !! ˚ʚ♡ɞ˚
inspired by this song!!
@sanjisprincesswifey i know you liked the first part, so i'm dedicated it to you (i hope it doesn't suck lmao)
warning!! : nsfw (minor DNI), gender (female), mention of (Y/N), slight angst ? angry sex/cheating involved.
.・゜゜・ 1 hour before ・゜゜・.
Zoro’s years of superhuman training were a benefit here. His body was moving on its own, as fast as he could, barely paying attention to the people he was bumping into with his broad shoulders. Just like a race horse, he had blinkers preventing him from seeing the rejoice faces of the villagers preparing for the reception, dancing to the musicians’ plays on the streets and basically creating a path to the palace where the festivities were to take place.
These poor people don’t know what they’re talking about.
While he made his way closer to the palace, his mind was too busy thinking about the last words you two shared rather than thinking of an infiltration strategy. From the way your plumped lips traced thousands of “I love you” to the harsh “I hate you” they uttered when he took off, from the laughters they shared to the silent cry they failed to conceal. From the lewd sounds they let escape when his cock thrusted into your wet cunt, to the sensual moans they purred onto his lips.
For a second he felt his heart sink, and a weird feeling to his stomach. Was it anxiety because he was about to enter a restricted area? Mad, that you forgot about him so easily? Jealous, that another man, and a ridiculous one he thought, got to spend the rest of his life by your side? Sick, that a man that is not him, was to touch you in ways only he could?
He couldn’t pinpoint the right word for what he was feeling, and he frankly did not care. His goal was set, and it was to enter that palace and get to you. How would he achieve that was apparently not an important matter to him, because he just barged in, breaking through the guards with undiscovered strength, not giving a damn about the consequences.
I’m sorry guys, we’ll have some mess to clean up before tasting the banquet.
His ears almost failed to hear the guards crying for help and threatening to call the Marines, as he climbed all the stairs he found at once, his heart knowing that at the top, they led to you.
And it did.
.・゜゜・3 minutes left・゜゜・.
Zoro was facing a long corridor with a large room down the hall. The doors were slightly opened, as if he was awaited all along. Even though he knew he probably was not the person you wished to see, he still felt like the small light peering through the doors was a way to your heart. Like there was hope.
His pace slowed as he approached your doors, and his hand lingered on the door before slowly pushing it open, his good eye widening at the sight he was bestowed with.
There you were, in all your glory, your back facing the door as you looked at yourself in the huge mirror standing in front of you, gently trying out earrings that would complement your hairstyle of the day. The white dress you were wearing hugged your curves perfectly. The corset on top carved the shape of your waist, only for it to enhance the curves of your ass. The silk material left little to the imagination, and he could stay watching forever. He swore he could smell your perfume from here, already enamoring him much more. He could see the glistening of your skin as the so-short sleeves of your dress lovingly fell off your shoulders.
You were a mythology goddess. A legend, only for him to see.
And he had a chance to conquer.
・゜゜・00・゜゜・.
« So I guess my invitation got lost in the mail? » you heard the hoarse voice speaking through the opened door of your quarters. You kept on looking at yourself in the magnificent mirror standing in front of you, looking at how the white dress hugged your form, pretending not to have heard the said voice, ignoring the immediate chills it sent down your spine. You knew who these words belonged to, and so did your racing heartbeat.
You slowly reached down to the table by your side to pick another pair of earing to try out, letting Zoro enter as you calmly and sternly responded.
“The only thing that appears to have lost itself here, is you.”
Zoro scoffed as he fully entered your quarters, closing the door behind him as he stands, looking at you intently. Gosh, you were even more beautiful than in his memories. The way your hair fell so beautifully around your face. He missed your comebacks, your confidence, the way your brain seemed to understand his better than anyone else, better than he knew his own.
He slowly walked behind you, so close that you could feel his hot breath tickling the nape of your neck. He only looked at you through the mirror in front of you, feeling like, at some point, this would help him keep his façade. He bore his poker and stern face while taking in your presence.
Gosh, how he wanted to pin you to that mirror and kiss you until your lips turn bloody red from how much he would bite them.
“Looking great here. Nice big ring too.” he said, the hot breath of his lips tickling your ear.
It was hard for you to ignore how fast your heart was beating, and the tension between the two of you. It was electric, deep, high. You hated the effect he had on you, how he would always manage to have you wrapped around his finger. How he could make you kneel in front of him, happily opening your mouth to welcome his hot length. How he could make you melt from the simplest of words.
How he could break your facade, break your heart and confidence under a minute.
Your eyes met through the mirror, and that’s when you noticed his new scar. It hurt, knowing that you did not have the opportunity to mend his wounds and see his progress.
“I can’t say the same for you.” You lied, breaking the eye contact by focusing on removing the earrings you had just put on.
Zoro laughed, never looking away. He agreed: beside you, he looked like a picturesque character. You were the epitome of beauty, an ethereal image. If he were Sanji, he would have probably died on the spot.
Your eyes met again.
“You could have told me you were getting married. I had the right to-“
“How dare you?” you cut him mid-sentence, turning around to face him. His new built caught you off guard, but you didn’t let that stop you from finally, cutting the air.
“Zoro you better not finish that sentence. You have no right whatsoever to know a thing about my life. Not after what you did.” You explained, clear annoyance and a hint of hurt in your voice.
“Oh, is that how it is? How it’s going to be, (Y/N)? Of course you should have told me ! How dare you not tell me?” Zoro responded, mad, stubborn, scratched. “You can’t just get married, with this creep, and believe that I don’t have MY say in this? Or are you stupid?!” he continued, not noticing he started yelling.
You slightly pushed him away to get behind him, clearly needing the space. And he was surprised he let you push him, following your movements, wondering what your dress would feel like under his touch. He stared at your dress, your bosom and the way the corset enhanced the roundness of your boobs.
He wanted to eat them out right now and tear this corset apart.
“Oh you’re the stupid one here! Zoro you cannot expect me to tell you a thing about my love life, or anything about my life for that matter, when you walked away, in the middle of the night, saying your dream was more important, right after making love to me, and leaving to the sea without as much as a note?!” you stated, yelling the last words.
“It was not the right time for us and you know it! Come on, don’t act like I forced my decision on you. You know it was the best choice.”
“I beg your pardon?” you asked, walking closer to him, closing the distance between the two of you to state your thoughts loud and clear. You shook your head, gathering your thoughts after Zoro’s unreasonable rambling.
“Let me ask you. What do you call someone leaving in the middle of the night, saying how his dream is more important than the night he just spent with who he called to be the love of his life, while the later cried her heart out? Do you call that a consensual decision? A mature talk? Enlighten me, Roronoa Zoro. Please, enlighten me.”
Zoro just dived into your eyes at your words. Enlighten me. The words echoed in his ears, and for a couple of seconds his brain just stopped working. Noticing his lack of response, you sighed, trying to walk past him to finally put your veil on.
But this time, he did not let you past him.
Zoro grabbed your hips and looked into your eyes before diving in and kiss you. The taste of his lips surprised you, they seemed more mature, but still as soft as they were that night. With Zoro invading your space, it was hard to think, hard to breathe, hard to resist breaking the tension lingering after all these years. Before he could slide his tongue pass your lips, you pulled back, looking at him with half-lidded eyes, whispering, afraid the universe might hear you;
“What are you doing?”
“Enlightening you.” he whispered with a smirk, his breath tickling your lips.
And these words were enough to send all senses of hurt, bitterness and ache to hell. You let him kiss you, putting your hands on his arms as he kept a firm grip on your hips. He kissed you hard, feral. His tongue parted your lips, twirling around yours as he let out a deep groan. He has been waiting for this for years, and feeling your lips respond to his sent him to heaven. He could not help but let his hands glide to your ass and give it a light squeeze, making you yelp. Your reaction made him laugh, a small, intimate laugh only you could hear.
You slowly pulled away to catch your breath, and he took the opportunity to tell you what he really meant to say before rambling the selfish nonsense he let out.
“Don’t marry him. Come with me.” He whispered, his lips meeting the side of your neck, using his tongue to tickle the soft spots he never forgot: your submaxillary triangle, your trapezius.
“What are you talking about?” you responded, still a little out of breath, and mostly, distracted by his shenanigans.
“You got me baby, loud and clear.”
The dress started to bother him, and he took the opportunity to tear the bottom to the side, creating a slit on your left leg, taking advantage of it to massage your thighs and groping your ass once more, with more force and determination. He tapped your ass, a small gesture to wrap your legs around his waist as he pinned you to the mirror.
And when your legs tightened around his waist, he knew your answer.
And so he did not waste any time anymore. He massaged your breasts through the corset of your white dress, admiring how your boobs threatened to escape only for him to lick at your buds, cupping them in between his large hands. Your hands fell into his mossy green hair, slightly pulling on the ends as his tongue danced around your clavicles.
Being the skillful swordsman he is, and having experience with his mouth and hands, his left hand went under your dress, thanks to the slit he made, so he could play with your clothed cunt, feeling its wetness forming. There are so much things he wished to say at that moment, but the way his erection irritated his pants kept him from uttering the slightest of word. And knowing him like the back of your hand, you let out a small laugh.
“Are your pants too small to contain your little friend here?”
“If you call it little then I really should jog your memory.”
With that, he pushed you against the cold mirror surface a little harder so he could unzip his pants, letting his length sprung free against the white silk.
“Be careful, you might tarnish it you idiot!”
“Like you and I care.” he proudly stated, sliding his hand under your dress and pushing his index into your cunt, while rubbing circle on your clit. He never took his eyes off you, appreciating every little of your reactions, bearing your face into his memory.
“Gosh, I missed the feeling of your pussy around my fingers, you know that right?” he desperately uttered, feeling his already hard cock getting harder. “Gosh (Y/N), I missed everything about you.” he added, pumping harder, adding another finger into your pussy, your moans getting louder and lewder.
“And I missed the feeling of your cock, Zo’..” you whimpered, a dark light sparkling in his eye as he heard your plea.
“Well you won’t miss it anymore sweatheart.” he said, removing his fingers out of your cunt and pushing up your dress some more, so he could set your white lace panty aside and slide into you.
“Hmmpf!” you whimpered in extasy, the simple feeling of his cock stretching your tight cunt already answering your needs. He waited for you to adjust and looked at you, his eyes pleading for consent. Once you nodded and gave him a soft, intimate smile, Zoro started pounding into you at a feral pace. His nails dug into your thighs and ass as he held you tight, pumping his thick cock into your warmth. You threw your head back on the cold mirror surface as you tried to keep some sense into you, tears forming in your eyes from how passionate your partner was.
“G-Gosh (Y/N), you’re still taking me so well… completely m-made for me..” Zoro managed to say, as he could feel your pussy tightening around his shaft. This felt so real, so much better than in his memories.
“Please k-keep going!” you plead, only for him to hold you tighter, spanking your ass in the process.
“I’ll k-keep only if you answer my question.” He said, slowing his thrusts, going excruciatingly slow, torturing the both of you.
But he needed to know.
“Are you coming with me to the sea?”
He stared into your eyes for as long as he could, trying to determine what went on in your head.
“Zoro..”
He thrusted hard into you, looking at you again.
“Answer me.”
He thrusted harder, his eye never leaving your beautiful face.
“I..”
He thrusted harder, so hard you swore you could feel it in your guts.
“(Y/N). You love me. I love you. Come with me.”
“Y-Yes for God’s sake I’ll c-come with you!” you cried, only for him to smile in pride and thrust into you without anything as a break. He felt ecstatic and tried his best hiding his smile into your neck, giving it sloppy kisses before giving you one more passionate kiss as you both came together, your dress a total mess, both your bodies a sweaty mess, but a loving one at best.
He looked at you and saw the smile he waited to see for so long. He gently put your legs to the ground as he looked through his pocket.
“Don’t tell me you’re looking for a condom now that we’re just done” you muttered, earning an eye-roll from the swordman.
“I’m looking for the ring I got you, dumbass.” he bluntly stated, pulling the ring out of his pocket before putting it in your hands.
“Let me take off this ugly ass ring so I can give you mine.” He said and you let him have his way, gently laughing at his usual stubbornness. He slid his ring on your finger with a prideful and loving look, trying to conceal his blush by looking away.
“So, what’s the plan now Zo?” you asked, gazing into his good eye with more love than you thought ever existed.
“There’s none. We’ve got all the time in the world.” he responded, kissing your left hand before he heard a familiar ruckus down the hall, curtesy of his captain.
“I promise you’ll get used to it.” he shyly said as he held your hand tight, definitely not letting go, love wins all, after all.
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mysslyssblog · 20 days
Note
hey i know you just posted about dipper but I just love the way you write for him so much and theres like nothing about dipper 😭 could you write some more? maybe about what its like being long distance? please and thank you!
Older Dipper Pines x reader (16-17)
Warnings: reader is described as feminine, slight angst, happy ending
Thank you so much for the request! I think you were asking for headcanons but I changed it into a one shot! 💜💜
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always ~ D.P.
•Third Person POV•
Dipper Pines and y/n l/n have been dating for 3 years now. Through that 3 years, they’ve had to get used to long distance. They only see each other over breaks.
They haven’t let this affect their relationship. They’ve found ways to stay in touch. Texting, calling- always calling. Whether they’re eating, doing homework, sleeping. They’ll be on the phone. They call at least once a day.
It used to be worse though. They once called for 24 hours straight. Overtime they’ve gotten better at managing their personal life and love life, not totally relying on each other to be happy. But recently it’s been hard for Dipper, to be happy.
He’s always had a strained relationship with his parents but as he’s gotten older it’s gotten worse. Much worse. He’s constantly arguing with his parents. He’s even gotten kicked out for a few nights before. He would’ve ran away by now if it weren’t for Mabel. Mabel is the only reason that place is even a little bearable.
One of the biggest fights Dipper has had with his parents is when he got yelled at for calling y/n too much. His father saying “you’ll just break up by the time you’re 18”. This really set Dipper off. Which, of course, got him grounded.
Getting grounded was something that happened to Dipper a lot. But this time was different. It was days before prom in Gravity Falls and Mabel had been planning on going there for prom for years. And of course he wanted to go with y/n.
Dipper and y/n had already picked out color coordinated outfits. Prom wasn’t something Dipper was interested in, but y/n was really excited for it, so of course he would put 110% into it. For her.
It was the night of prom and Dipper was locked in his room. Mabel had gone to Gravity Falls alone and promised Dipper she would stick by y/n’s side to make sure she’s happy and he made sure to call her on a pay phone to say he loves her. But Dipper didn’t feel like he was doing enough. He needed to be with her.
He pushed himself up and off his bed, throwing on his suit and converse and grabbing some spare change. He snuck out of his window and managed to catch the last bus to Gravity Falls. He had a few hours before prom would start. He had to hurry.
•Currently in Gravity Falls - Your POV•
Dipper had already told me that he wouldn’t make it to prom. It didn’t fully set in until I watched only Mabel walk off the bus.
She’s been stuck to me like glue since she’s gotten here, despite her “totally hot boyfriend” being around. It’s obvious that Dipper told her to make sure I’m happy. It’s hard to feel happy when the one person you want isn’t with you.
The whole evening, I hold back tears. My friends do their best to keep my mind off of it. Pacifica does my makeup and hair. Mabel helps me put on my dress and gifted me handmade jewelry she made just for me and my dress. Candy and Grenda played my favorite music, put on my favorite movie, made my favorite snack, but nothing could shake the empty feeling I felt in my hand, the hand Dipper always holds.
•Dipper’s POV•
I pay the bus driving before leaping off of the bus. The sun is going down and it starts raining as soon as I step off of the bus. Great.
I began sprinting to the Mystery Shack. I have to get there before prom starts.
•Your POV•
Grenda, Candy, Pacifica, Mabel, and I group up as Stan snaps pictures of us with his polaroid camera that’s probably older than me. None of the pictures came out right and we probably wouldn’t have gotten any good pictures if it weren’t for Ford bringing out a better camera.
All of the girls were happy and giggling. I faked my smile as best as I could but I couldn’t shake that feeling. I look down at my hand. The hand that Dipper always holds. I see a ring. The promise ring that Dipper gave me.
The girls all pose with their dates. A wave of tension moves through the room as I move out of the picture. Mabel gives me a sad look and I just smile and give her a thumbs up.
Stan comes over and pats my shoulder. “Don’t worry kid. You can have a good time without him.” He says, trying to cheer me up. I just nod and give him a smile before he walks off.
“Okay ladies! Let’s go!” Pacifica says. I grab my purse before walking behind the group out of the back door. I hear a crash from the front door. We all turn around to see a soaking wet Dipper Pines, panting with a soggy bouquet of flowers.
My face lights up. “Dipper?” I say quietly. He nods.
I run up to him and engulf him into a hug.
We took more pictures, with Dipper this time. “Okay guys! Now we can go!” Pacifica says before dragging her date out by his arm. Dipper and I give each other a look before laughing. We begin walking and I feel his hand grab mine. The hand he always holds.
•Third Person•
They all sit in the giant limousine Pacifica rented for them. Dipper stares at y/n, thinking she doesn’t notice but like always, she does. She just pretends she doesn’t. As he studies her, he thinks about their future, his father’s words replaying in his head. “You’ll just break up by the time you’re 18.” He pushes the thoughts to the back of his mind and squeezes her hand tighter.
Spoiler alert: they get married.
____________________________________________
I’VE HAD THIS IDEA FOR SO LONG AND I’VE FINALLY WRITTEN IT! It’s kind of booty and corny but that’s why I love it. I love corny rom com things like this. Thank you for the request and I hope it’s what you were thinking. Thank you guys for all the support! 💜
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healmydesires · 1 year
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forever in your eyes (j.m)
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pairing: joel miller x fem!reader
summary: It wasn’t like you hadn’t dated before. You had been on plenty of dates since you’ve been in Jackson, too many actually, you’ve even been in a semi serious relationship, but unfortunately, nobody had really charmed their way into your heart like they were supposed to. You’ve never been in love, always thought that falling in love wasn’t meant for you. Until one day, you meet a certain grumpy man.
genre: fluff + romance + angst + smut (18+ mdni)
word count: 15k+
tags/warnings: age gap (reader is 27, joel is in his early 50’s), takes place post s1, very minimal use of y/n, soft!joel tbh, kinda shy!reader… at least with joel, flirty joel, joel deserves to be loved, assumed unrequited love from both sides, reader described as shorter than joel, mutual pining, inexperienced/virgin!reader, unprotected sex, piv sex, loss of virginity, soft!dom joel, sub!reader, vaginal fingering, oral (f!receiving), joel has high key an oral fixation, kinda pleasure!dom?, multiple orgasms, creampie, some breeding kink, overstimulation, size kink, joel is huge… literally packing oof, lots of pet names (darlin, sweetheart, angel, baby girl, etc.), reader has a sister (named emilie, so if that’s your name I’m so sorry 😭😭😭 you can imagine another name then 🥺. I didn’t want it to be y/s/n because that would be so annoying to write imo).
a/n: this is my first joel fic. this is kinda more soft tbh… might be a bit oc? I don’t know but I love it. It’s pretty self indulgent !!! I’ve always loved writing but I got a lot discouraged in the past, giving up on it. I was inspired to start writing again by some of my favourite writers @joelmama and @joelscruff. also english is like my third language so please be nice/gentle with me. do not give me unsolicited advice pls <3 anyways! I hope you enjoy it 🥺
please don’t forget to interact, reblog or let me know if you read/loved it! <3 thank you ily 🥺
AO3 ● playlist
You knew you had feelings for Joel Miller. You’ve always liked and cared for him, even when you first met.
You still remember the day you met him. Clear as day.
It was such a warm and beautiful day, like a year and a half ago. The sun was beaming down on you as you were reading a book that you found on one of your trips outside Jackson — on your front porch of your house. The blowing mid-summer wind was hitting your face, cooling, as if to apologise for the almost unbearable heat that Jackson was currently subjected to. The soft breeze was caressing your skin and hair making the heat a lot more bearable as you enjoyed the day.
You were so immersed in your book that you didn’t hear the people approaching you until there was a shadow descending over the pages of your book. Someone was standing in front of you, their body blocking the sun.
“Yes?” You said with a smile without looking up from your book.
“I would like to introduce you to some people.”
The voice belonged to Tommy. Tommy Miller.
Your eyes widened at that, and you looked up from your book and saw that there were two other people behind Tommy looking down at you.
“I’m sorry,” you said before you cleared your throat, giving them a sheepish smile before standing from your lounger, shielding your eyes from the sun to get a better look at the strangers in front of you.
A teenager gave you a polite smile as she introduced herself. As you gave her your name in return you finally noticed the man next to her, gave you a curt nod when you locked eyes with him. He had a broad build, dark eyes and brown peppered hair. You assumed he was around the age of fifty and you couldn’t help but find him incredibly handsome.
“This is Ellie and my brother,” Tommy smiled as he gestured to both people next to him. “They’re your new neighbours.”
You knew Tommy had an older brother but you didn't know what you had been expecting. Maybe someone less handsome. As you continued to take him in you realised you were staring. You felt your body becoming more warm as you felt him stare back at you.
“How’s it going? I’m Y/N.” You gave him a small smile as you stepped forward to extend a hand out to the man.
"Hello," he repeated your name with a deep southern accent, which did nothing to calm your racing heart. You don’t think you’ve ever heard a voice that attractive in your entire life and it made heat flood to your cheeks. His hard expression melted into a more soft one as he took your hand in his. "I’m Joel, how’s your bench going?”
Your eyes widened at his words, “My bench? How did you—”
“We saw you through the living room window earlier this morning or more like Joel did.” Ellie, the teenager said with a huge grin on her face.
“Ellie.” He warned under his breath. His ears turned red and the two of them began to argue in hushed whispers, but your mind was elsewhere as panic began to set in.
Oh my god. He noticed me?
You grew embarrassed as you realised that he saw you struggle to fix that old bench on your porch. You’re painfully aware of how clumsy you are and that you’re not handy at all but you don’t like to ask other people for help. It was not because of your pride or any of that sort, you’d hate to burden someone else with your issues, so you mostly keep trying to fix things yourself.
"Oh yeah..." You said, looking back towards the bench that has been the bane of your existence these past few days. Your words effectively pulled Joel and Ellie out of their current argument. "It's a bit broken and needs some fixing."
Joel just looked at you for a moment before speaking up again. “You know, if you want, I could come check it out?”
You felt your cheeks heat up again at his offer and you glanced over at Tommy. “Uhm…”
“We both used to be contractors back in the day, so if you ever need anything repaired or something built, we are your people. Well… Joel specifically.” Tommy laughed.
“Oh, that’s cool. I think I’m good for now though, I don’t need any help but thanks for offering.” You declined politely with a small smile. You knew you could use their or his help with repairing the bench, but you didn’t want to burden anyone. And the older brother was already making you feel flustered, you didn’t want to make a fool out of yourself when you just met.
“Alright, you know where to find me if you change your mind.” He gave you a small but genuine smile before the three of them walked away from you.
As they walked away, you released a breath you didn't realise you were holding. The hammering of your heart only registering as the distance grew between you. You felt a bit of disappointment once they were gone, a sense of longing setting in your heart as you thought about the tall and older man that you know you’ll grow to care for.
“God damn it. Work with me please.” You grumbled as you tried to fix one of the loose wooden planks of the bench. Sweat was dripping down your forehead as you concentrated on your task at hand. You were on the floor, crouched underneath the bench you were so desperately trying to repair. You’ve been trying to put it off for a couple of weeks now but you knew you couldn’t keep doing that. You knew you should ask someone for help but you didn’t want to give up just yet. Curse words wouldn’t stop leaving your mouth as you struggled. “Fuck.”
“I didn’t take you as a girl that could curse like a sailor.” A low and deep but still soft voice resounds behind you.
“Ah shit!” you gasped as you heard the voice behind you. You’d smacked your head on the edge of the bench when you’d startled at the sudden intrusion. You recognised that voice. Joel Miller. The man that’s been consuming your thoughts for weeks now. You hissed as you rubbed at the already sore spot and landed on your butt as you looked up at him.
The bemused expression morphed into one of concern as he crouched down to your level. “Are you okay?” He replaced your hand with his own, making sure there was no visible injury.
His touch made your body turn hot as he continued to study you.
“Yeah I-I’m fine. Although, I do think it will be a nice bump later.” You chuckled. “You shouldn’t sneak up on me like that, it’s not good for my heart.”
“And your head,” he said as a grin replaced the one of concern. You were glad to be sitting because that smile has been making you weak in the knees lately. Ever since you’ve been introduced you’ve been talking and hanging out here and there, finding out that the man can smile sometimes. You’re not entirely sure why he felt so at ease around you but you were truly grateful that he was spending time with you. (It might be for the fact that Ellie grew fond of you and loved to ask you a million questions whenever she was around.) He had the prettiest smile you’d ever seen and it lit up his whole face, you truly wish he would smile more. Subconsciously you started biting your lip as you admired him.
“Are you sure you don’t need any help?” He questioned with a chuckle as he looked at the state of the bench next to you.
Your face grew warm as you moved to focus your gaze on your hands. “I’m fine.” You whisper softly as you continue to look at your hands in your lap.
You heard him sigh before he took your chin gently in his hand to tilt your head back, making you look into his eyes.
“You know it’s okay to ask for help sometimes?” He said as he studied you intently. It was hard to maintain his eye contact, your face heating up more under his intense gaze and because of the close proximity of both of your faces.
His brown eyes stared into yours and you couldn’t help but find them the most beautiful eyes you’ve ever looked at. Your eyes flitted all over his face, not being able to stay in one place. You couldn’t get over how handsome he was. His head tilted to the side and he gave you a questionable look. You felt embarrassed as you realised you hadn’t replied to him yet.
“Sorry,” you bit your lip nervously as warmth spread even more to your cheeks. Your eyes moved away from his face to a spot behind him as you stared into the distance. “I just don’t want to burden you.” Your voice sounded so small and squeaky that you cringed internally. Embarrassed, you quickly drop your gaze to your lap.
“Oh, Darlin’,” he said gently, his expression turning more soft. “Sweetheart, you could never be a burden.”
“I’m sorry,” you bit the inside of your cheek as you tried to keep yourself from getting emotional. “I didn’t mean to… I just— I just always feel like it’s best I do everything myself all the time because I don’t want to annoy anyone with my problems.”
You’ve always been someone to wear your heart on your sleeve. You’re a very sensitive person and very in tune with your emotions most of the time. People saw you as a very caring and helpful person but when it came to your own things you mostly tended to yourself. You’re aware that most people aren’t like you, at least not anymore ever since the outbreak happened, but you didn’t care. There’s strength in sensitivity.
“You could never annoy me,” Joel frowned. “especially not when it comes to you struggling to do something on your own.”
You weren’t used to people caring for you the way you cared for others. So when Joel reassured you or took the time to hang out with you, you couldn’t help but feel appreciated.
His reassuring words gradually eased your anxiety. You let out a long sigh before looking up at him again. “O-okay, I-I think… I might need your help.” You stutter, hoping he didn’t catch it but he smiled at you warmly instead.
Shit, he’s so pretty. Come on, forget it. He could never have feelings for you.
“Good. Because I’d love to help.” He winked at you with a crooked smile.
Warmth flooded your body as you stared at him, you couldn’t help but feel flustered around him. You’re certain that your heart is running two hundred miles per hour, because it felt like it was about to burst out of your chest.
It’s just a silly crush. You told yourself.
Turns out, Joel Miller, your hot new neighbour, could be very handy.
He was able to fix the bench you've been fighting with for weeks in less than an hour. You were truly impressed.
As he brought back the supplies he used to repair the bench back inside to your supply closet, you couldn’t help but want him to stay a little longer. Besides, you wanted to thank him for being so helpful. You’re relieved and so grateful that the ‘demon bench’, as you had called it, was now fixed
“Thank you for helping me out, Joel. It means a lot to me.” You said as you smiled up at him as you both walked towards your front door.
“Oh darlin’ it’s no problem. I loved helping you.” He said with a grin. He moved closer, making your breath hitch which made him smile even more. “You can ask me anything. Whenever you need.” He winked and you felt your insides melt at his words and his actions.
“I-I want to be able to thank you. Give something in return for your help.” You smiled shyly at him.
“You don’t have to do anything for me sweet—”
“Please, let me make you dinner. It’s the least I can do after what you did for me.” You cut him off as you looked up at him with wide eyes. “Ellie is welcome too!” You added nervously when he took a bit longer to reply.
He snorts softly at your words before clearing his throat. “Ellie isn't in tonight,” he says as he avoids your gaze for a few seconds “she’s at this girl’s place she hangs out with a lot. So it’s just me.”
“Oh that’s okay! I’m sure she can join us next time.” You flashed him a bright smile. “But, I’d love to make dinner for you tonight… if that’s okay?” You asked with pleading eyes.
He chuckled fondly at your expression as he shook his head with amusement. “Of course. I’d love that.”
You felt like you were going to burst out of excitement. Internally you’re screaming, kicking with your legs like a schoolgirl thinking about her crush. You really loved spending time with the man.
Joel followed you back inside as you quickly disappeared down the hall and into the dining room that’s connected to your kitchen. You saw him admire the walls of your dining room from your peripheral view as you’re rummaging in one of the cupboards of your kitchen for a cutting board. Most of the paintings were either more abstract gradient paintings or heavily inspired by the Impressionism art movement.
“You have lots of paintings. They are very pretty.”
“Thank you. Some of them are made by me or my sister.” You smiled genuinely as you made your way back to him.
“Really?” He asked curiously.
Your smile turned timid as you looked up at him, Joel's inquisitive look making you even more shy.
“Yeah… we both love art. Especially making our own sometimes.” You cleared your throat with another bashful smile, before looking down at your shoes.
“Is your sister…?”
“Is she alive? Yes” you finished his question. “She lives here in Jackson with her boyfriend actually.”
“That’s nice.”
“Yeah. I’m truly grateful to have her in my life.” You told him. “She’s my best friend.”
“That’s beautiful” he nods at you as a small smile graces his features. You can’t help but feel yourself get more warm at his soft expressions. He’s so beautiful. “How did you two find your way to Jackson?”
“It’s a long story. I don’t think I’ve ever told you this but, originally my sister and I weren't from here… the USA I mean.” You told him.
Joel’s eyes widened at your words. You giggled at his expression.
“We are originally from Europe, I was still very young when the outbreak happened. I was around? Seven years old. We were in San Francisco when it happened and my sister and I haven’t really moved from that place for a long time ever since everything went down.” You said as you walked back to the kitchen.
“Christ. That’s very young.” He said, he looked shocked as you told him as much as you wanted him to know.
“Yeah but Emilie was four when it happened.” You said as you bit your lip.
“It must be hard being trapped in a foreign country. Especially when you’re a child.”
“Yeah… My parents eventually died when I turned eighteen. So it was just Emilie and I for a long time. One day a couple of years ago she went outside the San Francisco QZ and I hadn’t heard from her for a long while. I just… I had to look for her, she’s my sister, she means everything to me. I would literally travel through this whole country just to find her. I always felt like I needed to protect her. I’ve always been very overprotective of her, just like I know she is with me.” You chuckled as you shook your head with amusement at your previous words.
“Overprotective huh?” He said as he flashed you a grin as he came to lean against a wall close to you.
“Yeah,” you giggled. “I am the big sister but sometimes it does feel like she’s more overprotective than I am.”
“Your sister seems very nice. I do understand her being overprotective though.” He smiled as he leaned closer to you.
“Oh really?” You bit your lip as you continued to prepare everything for dinner.
“Yeah, I mean you’re a precious little thing so I do understand her overprotectiveness.” He muttered.
Heat rose up in your face at his words. You couldn’t look up at him, feeling too flustered to look him in the eye. Your heart felt like it was about to burst out of your chest as you kept repeating his words in your head. He thought you were precious.
Was that flirting? No. He would never flirt with you.
“Y-you think so?” You question shyly, still not meeting his gaze.
“Uhuhm” He hummed softly, “I don’t only think that, it is so. You’re very precious.”
“O-oh.” You were at loss for words.
Joel chuckled, probably because of your flustered state, before he noticed you struggled with the ingredients. “Let me help you sweetheart.”
“No, it’s okay.” You said. But as most people knew, Joel was a stubborn man.
“Darlin,” he looked at you pointedly, letting you know that you wouldn’t be able to stop him from giving you a hand.
“I’m making dinner for you, to thank you. You shouldn’t be helping me.” You huffed as you crossed your arms in front of your chest. You’re aware you probably look like a child but you can’t help it. Dinner was supposed to be made by you, and only you.
“Oh angel, being in your presence is rewarding enough for me.” He says as he leans closer to your ear.
Butterflies erupted in your stomach at his words. The sound of his deep voice close to your ear, and the feeling of his breath against your skin, made you fight the urge to shiver.
Joel smiled playfully, eyes looked down and locked with yours for a couple of seconds. The close proximity made your skin set on fire. He could lean down a bit more and then his lips would be on yours. You slowly pulled back, clearing your throat while you did.
“A-a-anyways.” You stuttered. You hated stuttering, you never really stuttered but somehow this man could turn you into a flustered, stuttering mess. His smile widened at your state which made you want to run and hide. You decided to change the subject. “I had to go through some states to find her and eventually I found her. Then we travelled together through Wyoming and then some people from Jackson surrounded us and that’s how we got here. That was almost a year ago.”
“So… You are pretty new here?”
“Yep.” You said as you smiled at him.
It was silent for a moment as both of you were preparing everything for dinner. Until your eyes widened at the realisation that you hadn’t offered him anything to drink yet.
“Oh shit, sorry. I can’t believe that I haven’t offered you something to drink yet.” You said as you abandoned your current task, running towards another supply closet, looking for something good for the both of you. “Give me a second.”
You could hear Joel chuckle, knowing he was probably looking at you with an amused expression on his face. You were looking for a specific bottle of red wine, your favourite, the ones you always keep for special occasions. Once you found it you couldn’t help but squeal excitedly. “Aha! Here it is!” You smiled triumphantly as you held it in your hands.
You were grinning widely as you came back into the kitchen. “I’ve got some red wine, I hope that’s okay.” You said as you placed down the bottle on the kitchen counter.
“More than okay.” Joel smiled.
You beamed up at him and opened one of the cabinets, you stood on the tip of your toes as you struggled to reach for some wine glasses.
“Fuck,” you muttered to yourself. “Why did I put those glasses so high and so far in the back?”
“Let me,” he chuckled softly as he stepped behind you, his body pressing softly against yours. Your breath hitched at the action and warmth spread all over your body. You mentally cursed yourself as you felt a heat pool between your legs. Different kinds of scenarios started going through your head as you felt his body pressed against yours. You wished his arms were wrapped around you as he stood behind you. But one of his arms extended over yours as he reached for two glasses easily. “Here they are.” He whispered as he leant down to whisper close to your ear.
You truly felt as if you caught a fever. He’s so close and so big. As his chest brushed against your back you felt as if your brain short circuited for a second. He was so broad and tall while you were so much smaller than him, he could quite literally swallow you whole with his frame.
You felt his body slowly retreat from yours, giving you the possibility to collect your thoughts again.
“Show off,” you grumbled teasingly, warmth still filling your chest and face.
Joel snorted, shaking his head amused. “You’re just tiny.”
You gasped dramatically, turned around and feigned offence at his words. “Am not!”
“Sure you aren’t.” He teased, a grin forming on his face.
You giggled at that, “you’re just awfully tall.”
“Right.” He nodded along to your words, tried to look as serious as he could, he tried to stifle a grin and you could see right through him.
“I am right.” You pouted.
“So am I.” He retorted playfully, a loud laugh left his lips as you continued to pout, before he took a step closer to you.
Your cheeks warmed, but you tried to hide your embarrassment by crossing your arms and sticking your chin up in the air. Huffing you turned around, “get back to work Mr. Miller.”
“Yes ma’am” he said in mock seriousness as he went back to making dinner with you.
“You’re so silly,” you giggled as you teasingly bumped your shoulder against his arm. You went to open the bottle of wine before pouring some of the liquid in both glasses. Once the glasses were filled you held a glass out to him.
“Only with you darlin’,” he gave you a wink before he took the glass from your hand. Flushed, you tried to ignore the way your heart skipped in your chest when his fingers brushed against yours.
This man is going to be the death of me.
Dinner was very nice. There was lots of banter, lots of words exchanged from Joel that felt awfully like flirting but still you tried to push those thoughts away. He wouldn’t flirt with you. You’re pretty certain of it. The tension sometimes was killing you though. You think it was sexual tension but then again that would be impossible because he wasn’t flirting with you.
But you also noticed that the more you hung out with Joel the more relaxed he was around you. You loved that for him. Underneath all that rough exterior he has so much depth to him. He’s very caring, protective, helpful, funny, and so intelligent. He’s so sweet to you too, you didn’t know why. But all you knew is that you care for him so much. You felt comfortable around him too, safe. You couldn’t help but associate him with warmth, safety. Home. He felt like home to you.
Empty plates were still on the table and for a while you were enjoying the comfortable silence between you two. Eventually you broke that silence.
“The wine is so good.” You whispered as you looked at your wine glass then brought your gaze softly to the man sitting across from you. He seemed like he was lost in his thoughts, staring off in the distance as he looked through the window outside towards your garden.
He brought his gaze back to you as he heard your voice, he cocked his head to the side. “Hmmm what did you say sweetheart?”
“It’s good right?” You ask as you motion with your head to the drink in your hand.
“You’re not wrong. It’s very good.” He nods with a soft smile.
“It’s my favourite,” you flashed him a grin before you took a generous sip of your wine, the liquid burning down your throat.
“Oh really?” He questioned with a curious smile.
“Yeah, I keep them for special occasions.” You said as you bit your lip, feeling bashful.
“Is that so?” Joel’s smile turned into a full smirk as he looked straight into your eyes. “I am assuming this is a special occasion then?”
You hummed your agreement, shrugging your shoulders with faux nonchalance as you continued to bite your lip. Warmth was overwhelming you. Not only because of the alcohol you consumed but that man always made you heat up.
“I’ll consider that as a compliment.” He said as he leaned back in his chair.
Excitement bubbled inside you. Feeling bold, you winked at him. “As you should.”
He was visibly surprised, Joel didn't expect you to finally flirt back. You giggled at his reaction, pleased to see that you could surprise him.
You stood up from your seat with a smile as you took the empty plates from the table, bringing them to the sink.
As you’re about to turn the faucet on you heard him stand up from his chair. He muttered your name, his voice coming out a lot deeper than usual. Fighting back a shiver you slowly turned around to look at him. Your eyes were wide with curiosity and your heart was pounding so hard you could barely hear over the sound of blood rushing in your ears. He looked at you, a desperate expression on his face.
“Darlin’,” he said, his voice hoarse as his dark eyes continued to hold your gaze. For the first time of the night you couldn’t fight back the shiver from going down your spine. Heat flooded your body, your cheeks burning, the warmest you’ve ever felt them.
Joel must have noticed the way your body was reacting to his voice, as he dragged a low shuddering breath at the sight of you.
“Joel?” Your breath turned heavier as you waited for him to say or do something. Your wide pleading eyes stared into his hungry eyes. He continued to stand there just looking at you, his chest moved quicker as he breathed more heavily. Your heart pounded so fast and hard that you were worried that he could hear it from across the room.
Your eyebrows pulled together as you stared at him, your eyes shining with curiosity. You waited with bated breath for Joel to say what he was meant to tell you. He looked at you desperately before he moved from his spot, striding towards you but before he could reach you, someone barged through the door of your home with a loud bang.
“Hey! I knew I’d find you here.” Ellie yelled without looking at both of you. Once her eyes settled on both Joel and you her mouth fell open. “What’s happening?”
You were breathing heavily as you looked at Joel. Eventually you brought your gaze to the teen. “N-nothing, Ellie bean.” You stuttered out quickly, moving away from the kitchen towards the younger girl. “We just had dinner.”
Her eyes widened, “without me?”
Your face flushed with embarrassment before you turned around to look at Joel. “I thought she was at—”
“I’m assuming you told her I wasn’t home tonight, right?” Ellie cut you off, raising one of her eyebrows as she looked at him.
Wait what? Did he want to be alone with me?
Joel swallowed and then avoided both Ellie and your gazes. “Alright.” She snorted.
“I think it's better if we go home.” Joel finally spoke up, before walking towards Ellie. You feel yourself deflate at his words and you can’t help but feel a bit disappointed.
“O-okay.” You whispered, looking down as you entwined both of your hands nervously.
Ellie looked at you with sympathy before glaring up at Joel. “You’re so stupid.” She grumbled under her breath as she gave him a shove as she made her way to the front door.
“Ellie,” he warned her.
“You are.” She sneered.
Joel sighed deeply as he pinched the bridge of his nose. He dropped his hand before looking at you. “Thank you for dinner,” he said with a small but grateful smile.
“Thank you for fixing my bench on the front porch,” you gave him a faint smile. “I enjoyed spending time with you.” You said as you looked away timidly.
“Sweetheart, you don’t have to thank me.”
You bit your lip as you avoided his gaze. He said your name softly before he held your chin gently with one of his hands, tilting your head towards his face which made your eyes lock with his own.
“I always enjoy spending time with you.” Warmth rose to your face at his words. He gave you a warm smile before releasing your chin.
You walked with him towards your front door, leaning against it as you tried to say your goodbyes to each other.
“I really enjoyed tonight.”
“Me too.” You said as you bit your lip.
“Goodnight darlin’.” He said with a barely noticeable smile before he walked out your door.
Your eyes met Ellie’s waving at you from in front of your porch. You return the action with a small wave.
“Goodnight.” You whispered before you closed the door behind them. You rested your back against the door, exhaling a long breath you realised you didn’t know you were holding in.
You were in too deep.
As months went by, you were more and more aware of how strong your feelings were beginning to grow for Joel. So strong that they were starting to terrify you. Not because you didn’t want to have these feelings for him, no that was certainly not it. You just never experienced feelings this strong for someone before.
It wasn’t like you hadn’t dated before. You had been on plenty of dates since you’ve been in Jackson, too many actually, you’ve even been in a semi serious relationship, but unfortunately, nobody had really charmed their way into your heart like they were supposed to.
You’ve never been touched intimately before, never had sex either. You knew how inexperienced you were but so far, you just hadn’t found someone to be worthy of your time.
You’ve never fallen in love with anyone before. And these new feelings were truly scaring you. For so long you were so certain that you’d never fall in love with someone. That falling in love wasn’t meant for you. That those feelings would never exist for you. The apocalypse hadn’t made things easier either so it wasn’t like falling in love was an option for a long time. But now that you’re relatively more safe, it was a possibility.
It was so much easier when it was just a crush, or an infatuation, despite the fact that you knew that crushes usually wouldn’t make your heart swell so big or your lungs feel so tight when you think of them or see them. But now, it’s a lot harder to pretend that it’s not more than that.
You always dreamed of the day you’d finally fall in love but now that those feelings were here they made you feel like you wanted to run and hide.
You’re not sure you’d be ready to confess those feelings to him any time soon. You were quite certain that they would be one sided, so you’d prefer to keep those to yourself. Because why would someone like him ever see you the way you see him, the way you feel for him. You were a lot younger than him, around twenty years or so. You’re twenty seven. So it seemed impossible for you that he could regard you in the same way you did.
So you decided to do just that, keep them a secret. And you were completely fine with that, with your feelings remaining completely unknown to anyone but yourself.
Or so you thought.
On a beautiful warm spring day, you decided you were going to indulge in your favourite hobby. Drawing.
You’ve always loved art, specifically, you loved sketching. If it wasn’t for the fact that the world ended, you’d like to think you would’ve studied art or tried to become an artist.
You were pretty good at it actually, not to sound too full of yourself. But with the way things were, your skills weren’t at their full potential. And besides you didn’t like to tell most people, keeping it a secret because you were always too shy or embarrassed to show people your talents. So you sketched as much as you could in your free time.
You loved to draw all sorts of things, nature, still life, animals and sometimes, people. But on top of your innocent drawings you also had a specific secret sketchbook that you only drew in when you were certain you were alone.
This sketchbook was dedicated entirely to indulging in your massive crush on Joel Miller. (Okay, crush is an understatement.) It was usually difficult to draw a specific person when they weren’t standing right in front of you, but you had seen his face so many times that it was nearly photographically imprinted in your mind. You would often summon his face up whenever you were alone. As many times as you could. Most of these were just his face, the sketchbook was definitely filled with several of him smiling. Some were just details of, for example, his hands or his eyes. Or even his nose or lips.
Everything about him made you feel warm inside. You would always be a flustered mess around him and it would even make you heat up when you’d draw him. Sometimes you’d have to take breaks from drawing him because you’d start getting too hot from thinking about him.
You often felt like you were doing something bad or wrong, like you were some sort of stalker when all you did was admire him.
It was a specific drawing you were currently working on, after checking and double-checking that you were truly alone. It was a beautiful day and you had the day off, so you figured what better way to spend it then by sitting on your front porch all day while enjoying the weather and sketching out what you’d seen the man do during your shared patrol the day before.
The drawing was him holding his gun as he concentrated on a target in front of him. You were so focused on sketching him as well as you could, wanting to capture every feature of him in the best way possible. You recalled his intense expression, the way his jaw clenched while he was so focused yesterday. His dark brown eyes and his handsome side profile—
“What are you drawing?”
You practically jumped and yelled as you heard the voice close to you. Hurriedly you tried to close the sketchbook as you addressed the person standing close to you. “Ellie! You scared me. What are you doing here?”
“I’m just done with school and thought I’d drop by. I kinda wanted to spend some time with you.” She smiled at you as she was leaning against the wall. The soft expression slowly turned into a more mischievous smile as she cocked her head to the side to study you. “You okay there, Y/N?”
You swallowed nervously before giving her your best smile. “Yeah, why wouldn’t I be?”
“Well… you’re looking pretty nervous or flustered. Embarrassed even.” She said as she smirked deviously.
“I don’t know what you’re talking about. I’m perfectly fine.” You said as you tried to keep your composure.
You could never tell Ellie about the fact that you’re drawing Joel. He’s practically her father figure. Besides, you were quite certain it would make the whole situation awkward.
“You sure?” She asked as she leaned closer to you. “Could it have something to do with… what you’re drawing?”
“I— no. I mean no.”
“Hmmm.” Ellie hummed as she looked at you suspiciously.
Before you could react, Ellie snatched the sketchbook out of your hands at lightning speed.
Fuck. fuck. FUCK. Please no.
“Ellie—”
You sprang to your feet and quickly tried to grab the book back from her, but Ellie pulled it just out of reach at the last second with a huge teasing smirk on her face. Your face burned with shame.
“It’s nothing Ellie, please give it back!” You couldn’t hide the terrified desperation in your voice.
“You sure it’s nothing?” She said as she hid the sketchbook behind her back.
“Yes!” Apprehension fills your bones at her actions.
“Ah, then I’m sure you wouldn’t mind letting me take a peek at what’s inside right?” Ellie grinned dangerously as she moved the book in front of her.
“Please give it back.” Tears started to well up in your eyes as you pleaded for her to give it back.
Shit. It’s over.
As she opened the book on a random page, a gasp left her mouth. “Oh my god?!”
“Ellie, I’m—”
“You’re drawing Joel?” She whispered with wide eyes as she flipped through the pages.
You’ve never felt your face warm up this hot in your entire life. “No?” You said nervously but it came out more as a question.
Ellie said your name softly as she looked at you with a huge smile. “You have a crush on Joel?”
“I— I-I’m— uhm I don’t know, I just—” you stuttered as you tried to retrieve the sketchbook. Ellie pulled back which made you want to scream internally.
“It’s okay, I’m not mad.” Her face softened as she saw you look utterly terrified. “If anything, I’m very happy.”
“What?” You asked as you blinked your tears away.
“How could I be mad at you? I’ve always wanted Joel to be happy. He deserves that, even if he often doesn’t think he deserves that himself.” She smiled at you before looking back at some of the drawings inside the book. “They’re very beautiful by the way. I love drawing too.” She stepped closer to you as she went to put the book back in your hands. “Besides,” she shrugged nonchalantly, “he has a crush on you too.”
“Oh.”
Warmth flooded your body as you listened to her. You quickly felt overwhelmed by her words and everything that happened, you needed to sit down to process it better. You went to sit down with the book in your lap, looking down at it as you were at loss for words. It was very difficult for you to wrap your head around what she said. Joel having feelings for you? You couldn’t allow yourself to believe it. As you let her words sink in, she took a place next to you, placing a hand on your arm and giving it a small reassuring squeeze. Ellie gave you enough time to collect your thoughts and you were truly grateful for that.
You heaved out a long sigh. “I don’t have a crush.” You finally spoke up but not meeting her gaze just yet.
“What? But—”
“Saying it’s a crush is an understatement.” Your voice trembled as you finally looked at her. “I’ve never felt like this in my entire life, so it’s hard for me to deal with what I’m feeling.”
“Oh.” She said as her eyes widened. “You’re… In love?”
“I am pretty sure I am, yes.” You nodded with a small smile.
“Okay. Well he has feelings for—”
“Ellie, I’m pretty sure he doesn’t have feelings for me.” You interrupted her.
“Oh my god,” she groaned as she hid her face in her hands, mumbling, “you’re both so oblivious.”
“What?”
“You’re both so stupid. So oblivious.” She groaned once again as she threw her hands in the air. “You both think that the feelings are one sided.”
“I don’t know…” you trailed off as you let yourself lean back on the bench. You’re quite certain that you’re the only one being so consumed by these emotions. You’ve pretty much made your mind up about the fact that it’s impossible for him to return any of those feelings that you have for him.
“The atmosphere when I came in the last time both of you had dinner, just the two of you, certainly didn’t look like it was one sided.”
“Barged in.” You corrected her teasingly as you bumped your shoulder into hers.
“Okay, whatever. My point still stands.”
“Ellie, that was months ago…” you sighed deeply and shook your head at her words.
“Stop. Why do you do this?” She asked exasperated.
“Wh—”
“Why do you believe that he wouldn’t have feelings for you too?” Ellie questioned as she leaned closer to you. “Like, you’re so pretty and have such a lovely personality.”
“I-I I don’t know. I just find it hard to believe. Besides,” you shrugged with a frown “I find it very hard to deal with my own emotions because I’ve never been in love before so this is so new to me.”
Her eyes softened as she listened to you. Slowly, she brought her hand to squeeze your arm reassuringly. “I can understand that. But love is a beautiful thing.”
“True…” you whispered.
“I can understand being scared, but Y/N you’re so worthy of love. Just like Joel is. I am convinced both of you are meant for each other.” She said with a hopeful expression.
“Ellie—”
“I’m serious. Just, please think about it for a while. You both deserve more than this secret pining for each other.” She grumbled at the last sentence.
“Okay I will. Can we please talk about something else now?”
“Sure.” She shrugged with a smile.
“Thank you, Ellie bean.” You said gratefully.
It’s quiet between you two, as you two sit in comfortable silence for a while, just enjoying the beautiful weather and each other’s company.
“So… drawing huh?” She grinned.
As Ellie and you were talking about your shared love for drawing you heard someone approaching the both of you. Ellie is the first one to look up and she greets the person with a wide smile.
“Hi Emilie!” Ellie beamed as your sister stepped foot on your front porch.
“Oh, here are my favourite girls!” She said with the biggest grin on her face. Emilie brought her hand up to high-five Ellie. “Hey ravioli.” She said as the youngest girl hit her hand.
Ellie scoffed and rolled her eyes dramatically. “Jeez, just because I love ravioli doesn’t mean you have to call me that. Can’t a girl love food in peace.”
Your sister doesn’t reply to the teen and averted her attention to you, greeting you too. Emilie gestures for Ellie to scooch over, before she plops down on the bench between both of you. “So what are you guys talking about?”
“Hey! That bench was recently repaired! There’s no need for you to let yourself fall on the seat like that.” You groan at your sister's silly behaviour.
“Recently? That was months ago.” Ellie counters with a playful smile.
“Ah yes, the bench that the love of your life repaired.” Emilie said with a dreamy expression.
You gasped at her words, feeling your cheeks heat up instantly. You gave her a light shove, “Emilie!”
“What?” Your sister shrugs nonchalantly, “it’s true.”
“Love of your life?” Ellie beams.
You sighed dramatically before leaning against the back of the bench. “Look at what you just did.” You gestured towards Ellie.
“Oh quit the theatrics.” Your sister rolled her eyes teasingly. “Everyone knows you have feelings for Joel except for that man himself.”
Your eyes widened as her words registered in your mind. “Everyone?” You squeaked.
“Yes, just like everyone knows that man is pining over you except for you!” Your sister said exasperated.
You shook your head frantically. “You’re ly—”
“Oh my god, Y/N.” Ellie groaned. “Wake up.”
“Yeah, lovely sister of mine,” Emilie placed a hand on your shoulder, giving you a serious look, “respectfully wake the fuck up.”
“Disrespectfully, Emilie, shut up.” You said to your sister, shrugging her hand off you. You crossed your arms in front of your chest, pouting as you still leaned against the bench.
“Why are you pouting? This is a good thing.” Ellie huffed.
“Yeah, this is a good thing. Why don’t you want to allow good things into your life?” Emilie asked, looking at you seriously.
Silence fell for some moments, before you whispered, “I don’t feel like I deserve it.”
“Yes, you do!” Both Ellie and your sister said simultaneously.
You bit your lip as you looked at them silently. You knew deep down that you deserved to love and be loved in return but it was so hard for you to accept that someone could genuinely have feelings for you. It wouldn’t make any sense, you were always used to people that were attracted to you to expect something from you that you weren’t ready to do or they wouldn’t genuinely care about who you are as a person. You knew Joel was different, he showed you enough through the past year. But somehow your mind tried to tell you otherwise.
“This is driving me insane,” Ellie sighed, shaking her head.
“Ellie,” your sister said pointedly at the younger girl before turning back to look back at you. “Y/N… you are so worthy of love. I know you’ve never experienced this type of emotion or feeling ever before, but you deserve to feel safe with someone and to love someone deeply and for them to love you just as fiercely. I know you keep thinking because of past relationships, friendships or situationships that people aren’t truly interested in you or that people don’t genuinely care for you. But, those people do exist. Ellie cares for you, I do, and I am completely certain that Joel cares for you too. You deserve to feel loved, cared for and to be happy.”
Tears welled up in your eyes at your sister’s words. You felt truly overwhelmed by everything she told you. Deep down you knew she was right, you were trying to believe her words but you knew it might take a bit of time.
“Thank you.” You whispered, tears flowing down your cheeks as you hugged her side. “You don’t know how much that means to me. It might take some time for me to truly believe everything you said but I want to try.”
Both girls went to envelop you in a warm hug, squeezing your body tight. You felt your body relax in their embrace.
“I love you.” Ellie whispered, at her words you hugged her body tighter.
“I love you too, Ellie bean.” You smiled, tears still in your eyes as you leaned your head against the crown of her head.
And for the first time in a long time you felt like your heart could breathe again.
A month passed and you still hadn’t confessed your feelings to the man that’s been consuming your very brain for a year. You still hung out whenever you could, but telling Joel how you felt about him still terrified you. But as time passed, you allowed yourself to believe the words your sister and Ellie told you. It was very freeing.
One thing that didn’t change though was your stubbornness. You are certain you will always hate asking people for help. Like for example, the fact that your shower head was acting up so much you couldn’t take proper showers which made you have to use Emilie’s shower at her place sometimes. Until the shower head actually broke.
That’s why a few days later, you were standing in front of Joel’s door, contemplating if you should really ask him for his help. You bit your lip as you thought about it. Sighing, you told yourself that you should just do it. As you were about to knock, the door opened.
Your eyes widened as you came face to face with Joel. Your cheeks heat up as you lock eyes with him. You know you shouldn't be flustered right now because he is the only one who can help you. And he did tell you that you could always come to him if you needed his help. Or for anything really. But somehow, you still couldn’t help but feel shy around him.
“Sweetheart?” Joel looked at you worriedly.
“H-hi?” You smiled sheepishly. “Am I coming at a bad time?”
“No, ‘course not.” He shook his head slightly, a soft smile curled upon his lips. “Everything alright?”
“I am alright, it’s just,” you trailed off as you looked away shyly. “I think I might need your help.”
Joel closed the door behind him as he kept his gaze on you. He motioned for you to show the way. “Let’s go.”
You giggled as you shook your head light heartedly. “You don’t even know what I need your help for.”
“That’s where you're wrong darlin’. A little birdie told me your shower head is broken.” Joel’s mouth twitched in mild amusement as you just gaped at him.
Oh my god… Emilie.
Your face burned once again. You couldn’t believe that your sister would tell the person you’re desperately in love with about this. You felt embarrassed, knowing that he knew about you struggling. As if he could read your thoughts, “I only know since yesterday, but I wanted you to come to me when you were ready.” He said as he looked at you, a gentle smile on his lips.
“O-okay.” You said, groaning internally at your stuttering. “Anyways, yes. I need your help with fixing my shower. I hope that’s okay?” You asked hesitatingly.
“‘Course it is. Show the way, pretty girl.” He winked, beckoning for you to move along.
He thinks I’m pretty?
Joel was standing in your shower as he tried to fix the shower head. He smiled as he threw you a thumbs up.
“Ah, here we go. This should work now—” Joel’s smile faltered as water started unexpectedly spraying out of the shower head. Surprised, it slipped out of his hands, dropping to the floor, the spray pointing up at him, which drenched Joel quickly.
Your eyes widened as you took Joel in. His white shirt and jeans are both drenched and sticking to his body. You could see the outline of everything. Your body turned flush with heat as you continued to stare at him. You couldn’t help but find him so hot, with his shirt clinging to his body. He grumbled as he looked down at the state of his clothes. Eventually you moved into action, “O-oh let me get you a towel!” you blurted out. You quickly made your way to one of your closets in your bedroom, rummaging for some spare towels.
“Y/N stop being such a creep.” You grumbled to yourself, embarrassed that you were staring at him so unabashedly. You’re worried that he might think you’re creepy, staring at him like he was the sexiest man you’ve ever seen. Well, actually, he was the sexiest man to you. But you didn’t want him to think of you as some sort of weirdo. That’s the last thing you want, for him to think you���re creepy. As you found the towels you were still in such a deep inner monologue while you walked back into the bathroom.
“I found the towels—” you gasp, accidentally dropping the towels on the floor as you took Joel in.
The man had taken off his shirt, most likely because he didn’t like the feel of the fabric clinging to his body. He took your breath away. As you once again stared at him you couldn’t help but let your wide eyes wander all over his chest. He was broad, he wasn’t really muscular but he had a solid build. He was strong and large, and soft in the right places. There were some scars littered over his skin here and there, as a result of the years of fighting to try and stay alive. Some hair was scattered over his body, your eyes trailing along his happy trail, eventually disappearing underneath his jeans. You felt yourself ache between your legs as your eyes continued to roam over his form, studying him with so much intensity. You were still admiring him when he spoke up.
“I’m not really nice to look at.” He mumbled.
Your heart ached at his self deprecated words. You couldn’t believe what he said. How could he think of himself so lowly? You thought he was the most beautiful man you’ve ever seen. “W-what?” You said as you shook your head frantically.
“I’m not—”
“Joel Miller, you better stop bringing yourself down.” You said sternly, surprising both of you. You sighed loudly as he looked at you with wide eyes, “I’m sorry. I just don’t understand the need for you to put yourself down when you’re far from unattractive.”
Silence fell for a couple of moments. Until Joel exhaled shakily. “You-you think I’m attractive?” The man asked, he seemed so doubtful.
“I thought that was pretty obvious…” you trailed off shyly as you looked at the tiled floor between your two feet. “I mean, it’s pretty obvious to everyone else.” You chuckled nervously.
You heard him grunt softly before hearing his wet, heavy steps, as he slowly made his way to you. Joel grasped your chin gently, tilting your face towards him. You felt your cheeks burn, you don’t think you’ll ever get used to his touch. Your eyes lock with his as he looks at you desperately.
“You think I’m attractive?” He repeated his earlier question more pleadingly.
“I don’t only think you’re attractive… you’re so beautiful. So pretty. Handsome…” you trailed off as you duck your head timidly. “Sexy.” You said apprehensively, before looking away from him. “I think you’re the hottest man I’ve ever seen.”
“I think you’re beautiful as well. The prettiest little thing that has ever walked this earth.” He whispers, his voice coming out a lot deeper. “Words can not describe how beautiful you are. Inside-out.”
You felt your breath catch in your chest as you felt your body tremble at his words. You slowly looked up at him, your eyes wide with curiosity. You couldn’t help but like how he was towering over you. He was so broad, so strong. You felt your face burn, biting your lip and feeling incredibly weak as his gaze stayed locked with yours. You felt light headed at the close proximity. You could barely think straight.
He brought his hands down to your waist, holding your body close to his as he smiled warmly down at you. He whispered your name, breath hitching as he looked at you intently. “Sweetheart…”
You breathed his name softly before his lips connected with yours in a gentle kiss. You gasped in surprise at his actions, but you quickly closed your eyes as he deepened the kiss. Joel’s large hands cupped the side of your face in such a tender way it made your insides melt. Never did you think you’d ever be able to feel his lips on yours. And here he was, kissing you. Your arms wrapped around his back, your fingers digging in his back the action making him grunt. His beard was rough against your soft skin, but was so welcomed. You kissed him back just as deeply, hands stroking up and down his back in a soothing manner.
He held you tighter against his body before slowly pulling away, resting his forehead against yours as both of you breathed heavily against each other's lips.
“I hope that was okay.” He said with a gentle smile. Tears welled up in your eyes as you processed what happened, having a hard time to believe that their kiss really happened. Never in your life were you ever able to keep your heavy emotions in control. Certainly not when you were overwhelmed. His forehead furrowed, concern flashing through his eyes. “What’s wrong Darlin’?”
God, why do I have to get so emotional?
“I am so sorry I just. I feel a bit overwhelmed because I always thought you’d never feel anything for me.” You rambled anxiously and your fingers trembled as they swiped under your eyes. “If you have any feelings for me, that is.”
“Really? I thought it was pretty obvious.” He smiled gently, his hands cupping your cheeks. Softly, he brushed your tears away with his thumbs. “Especially after… you know, kissing you.” He said with a teasing lilt in his voice.
“Yeah maybe…” you shrugged with a giggle, “you do have a point.”
“I do, don’t I?” He smirked playfully.
“You’re so silly.” You rolled your eyes lightheartedly.
“Only with you darlin’,” he winked.
You felt the heat rise in your face once more. You don’t think you could ever get used to his teasing or his flirtatious behaviour.
“So corny…” you snorted as you shook your head with amusement, “you’re lucky I love you.”
You quickly covered your mouth at the realisation that those words were said out loud. Your heartbeat was beating loudly in your chest, as your wide eyes met his. You wonder if he could hear your heart practically beat out of your chest.
His breath hitched in his throat, as his eyes bored into yours. “You mean that?”
Heat overwhelmed your body, feeling as if you’re on fire. Your mouth felt extremely dry, still you tried to swallow, nodding slowly anticipating his next reaction. “I do.”
The molten intensity made you unable to look away as both of you just breathed and stared into each other’s eyes. You felt as if time stopped in that moment, your bodies so close, yet they felt so far. As he held your gaze, he moved his body closer to yours again.
“Joel—” you whispered breathlessly.
He cut you off, kissing you by surprise. Capturing all the words you were about to say. Completely shocked, your whole body froze as you felt his lips claim around yours, hands pulled your face towards his as he kept pressing his lips further, almost to the point it hurt.
All your thoughts overwhelmed your brain, disabling any rational understanding of what was going on. Like a magnet, you felt your body move closer to his, moving your hands around his shoulders as you kissed him back just as fiercely.
You nibbled on his bottom lip lightly, eliciting a moan from him. Slowly, he pulled away from your lips, to press kisses to your cheek. His lips slowly travelled all over your face. You whimper as his mouth moved from your jaw to your neck, pressing open mouthed kisses all over your neck, your hands moved towards his hair, tugging lightly at the roots.
“How long have you been feeling like this?” He questioned, his beard scratching your neck as he continued to kiss your neck. Your body trembled against his as he continued to suck, kiss and lick your neck.
“Hmmm?”
Joel groaned and stopped his actions when you didn’t reply to his question, pulling back to look at your face. You feel his stare, waiting for your response. You hadn’t realised your eyes fell closed as you were enjoying his kisses. Unhurriedly, you opened your eyes, looking right into his.
You swallowed dryly at the intensity behind his eyes, your heart beating madly in your chest. A flare of heat rushed to your cheeks as you decided to tell him the truth. How could you not? When he’s looking at you with so much desperation.
“Like… at least a half year ago?” You answered, your hesitant eyes looking into his own.
Joel groaned loudly, enveloping your lips with his once again. He kissed you with so much passion, giving you everything that had to offer. His mouth moves against yours so hungrily. As he continued to give you long and deep kisses, you felt the heat rising within you. The throbbing between your legs felt unbearable as you whimpered desperately against his lips.
“I love you too baby, so fuckin’ much.” He rasped against your lips.
A gasp left your lips at his words and he deepened the kiss even more, as he quickly took the opportunity to slip his tongue past your parted lips and swirling it around yours. You felt as if your whole body was on fire as you continued to kiss each other ferociously, your fingers raking through his peppered hair.
He grunted as he pushed your body against the wall. His arms wrap around your body, holding your body close against his. You whimpered as his lips travelled from your lips to your throat, nipping at the skin which resulted in you squirming in his hold. Your hands busied themselves with exploring his exposed back, caressing his skin.
He moved his mouth towards your ear, “you have no idea how long I’ve been dreaming about holding you.” He murmured. Joel’s lips travelled towards your shoulder while littering your skin with soft kisses. “Kissing you.” His hands wandered unhurriedly against your back, his hands eventually settled on your lower back, just above your ass. “Touching you.”
“Please,” you whined as you tried chasing his lips again, gripping his strong arms with your hands.
“Tell me what you need, baby girl.” He whispered raspily into your ear. A shiver went down your spine at his words. Joel’s voice carried so much emotion. So much desperation and adoration for you. “I love this baby blue dress on you. Although it’s really killing me right now.” He groans against your neck as his hands finally move to your ass over your frilly summer dress, grabbing a handful of your cheeks.
You felt even more wetness pool between your legs as you thought about the fact that you weren’t wearing any lingerie underneath.
You turned into a bigger whimpering mess as he kept littering your neck, shoulders and face with kisses. You felt one of his legs sliding between your legs, pressing his thigh against your exposed core.
“Fuck,” you moaned.
Joel lifted his head and your eyes caught his, his lips finding yours in a rough kiss, not wasting any time as he slipped his tongue past your lips. The man is wrapped around you completely, a hand caressing your back, the other holding your ass. Your body trembled as Joel started rubbing his thigh against your soaked core. You’ve never wanted someone more in your whole life.
“Joel,” you whined desperately.
“Tell me what you want kitten.” He groaned.
A loud whimper escaped your lips at his words. The pet name turned you on extremely. Your hips moved against his thigh, grinding against the clothed material.
“I want you.”
A string of moans slipped past your lips as Joel moved his head up to lick into your mouth.
“Pleaseee.” You whined against his lips as you rubbed your sensitive pussy against his jeans. “I need you.”
“Fuck, you’re so wet.”
“Ah!” You gasped as he picked you up effortlessly. Quickly, you wrapped your legs around his hips. The both of you continued to kiss each other passionately as Joel carried you to your bedroom. Once he reached your bed he softly placed you down the sheets.
You felt the bed dip before he hovered above you. Joel’s dark eyes stare into yours as his hands move underneath the skirt of your dress, his fingers trailing up your thigh. You felt yourself grow nervous at his touch.
“W-wait.” You whispered.
His movements halt immediately at your words. He looked at you worriedly, “you okay, sweetheart?”
You wanted him so badly and you were extremely wet but you would be lying if you weren’t a bit nervous. Everything seemed more real once his touch moved closer to your intimate parts.
You exhaled deeply. “It’s just… don’t get me wrong, I want this. I literally want you so badly, but I’ve never been with someone intimately.” You said nervously as you waited for his reaction.
“Oh baby girl,” he whispered, looking at you tenderly. “Don’t you worry about that. I will take good care of you.” He smiled as he leaned down to rub his nose gently against yours. “But, we don’t need to do anything if you’re not ready.”
“I am ready, I just don’t want to disappoint you.” You nibbled anxiously at your bottom lip.
“Baby, you could never disappoint me with this. You'll always be a good lover to me. You’re literally perfect. I promise.” Joel smiled gently, looking at you with so much adoration before he pressed a kiss to your forehead. You felt your whole body relax once his lips touched your skin. You trusted him, he was your everything.
Your lips moved to his neck before you placed an open mouthed kiss to his skin. “Please Joel, I need you.” You whispered seductively into his ear.
He groaned loudly before engulfing your lips in a heated kiss. You whimpered against his mouth as his hands started slowly caressing both of your thighs. Your head was clouded with so much lust, you felt so much love for him. Your brain turned quite literally into mush as you continued to kiss each other deeply.
You moved your hips desperately as you moaned against his lips, hoping Joel would get the hint.
“Such a needy kitten.” He chuckled against your lips.
“Only for you.” You whispered as you looked up at him pleadingly. “Please, touch me.”
“I am touching you.” He counters playfully.
“Please.” You whined desperately as you wiggled underneath him.
Moments later his lips pressed against yours again. The kiss got more heated the more you kissed each other. Your hands wander to the back of his head and you pull at some strands softly making him moan into your mouth. One of his hands slowly trailed up your thigh once again. Your whimpers came out more frequently the closer his hand moved to where you needed him the most. Once his fingers come in contact with your heat you mewl loudly.
“Fuck,” he moaned against your lips, you’re certain because he felt how soaked you were for him. “You’re so fuckin’ wet baby girl. All for me?”
You were overwhelmed with warmth, it felt like a hot storm — as he spoke those words. You nodded frantically. You were sopping wet, you managed to speak but your voice is strangled and pathetic. “P-please. T-take off your clothes.”
“And leave you in this dress? Out of question.” He chuckled as he moved the hand that was touching your wetness to your thigh.
“Who said I wanted to stay in this dress?” You said as you raised one of your eyebrows at him.
“Baby—”
“Undress me cowboy.” You smiled as you pulled your bottom lip with your teeth seductively.
“God, you’ll be the death of me.” He groaned loudly.
“My name is Y/N but god sounds good too.” You giggled.
Joel shook his head with an amused grin on his face. His fingertips find the hem of your dress and you sit up a bit. You raised your arms quickly to help him get rid of your baby blue dress.
You felt your body tremble in anticipation, as his eyes roamed all over your naked body, his eyes not being able to stick to one place. You felt your heartbeat picking up as his hands reached for your hips, holding them and pressing your body closer to his. His lips moved to ghost over your neck, slowly moving below your ear. “You’re out of this world. So beautiful.” He whispered into your ear.
His lips then crashed against yours as you gasped openly into his mouth, desire growing, and took it upon yourself to guide his hand back down to your heat. His mouth fell from yours to unleash a heavy groan into your neck at the first slip of his fingers between your wet lips.
It's very, fucking wet, more wet than you'd honestly ever been and certainly more wet than he could've imagined in his wildest dreams.
“You’re so fuckin’ beautiful sweet girl,” he muttered again in a very raw tone, his voice strained. His lips trail slowly down to your neck, all the way to your chest. Joel breathed in through his nose, you flush harder at his words and shivered when he exhaled warmly through his mouth and onto your nipple. “The prettiest little thing I’ve ever seen.”
That’s all you’ve been given before he wrapped his lips around one nipple, teeth just skimming your skin as he sucked and licked passionately, as he also pushed one of his fingers inside your pussy.
The whine that came out of you only drove Joel to seek out more of those heavenly sounds.
“Fuck, you’re so tight.” He moaned, as your pussy clenched around his digit. “I need to prepare you as much as I can for my cock.”
Your whines became louder as you felt the pleasure overwhelm you. His fingers are so much bigger than yours, one of his fingers is more pleasurable than any of your fingers.
His tongue began licking, long licks with the flat of his tongue over your hard nipple as his other hand kept pumping his finger in and out of you at a leisurely pace.
You whined as your core started clenching around his finger, begging for more. Instinctively you began moving your hips, grinding against his hand, as he groaned against your skin. His lips left your breast with a wet pop and he looked at you intensely as he continued to fuck you with his finger. You were panting heavily, barely able to think straight as he slowly slipped another finger inside you. He moved his face back to meet yours, engulfing you in a passionate kiss, swallowing all your little mewls.
“Good girl, you’re doing so well for me.” He panted against your lips.
You bucked your hips up towards his hand in response, silently begging for more. He noticed and slipped a third finger in, moving them slowly at first as your tight pussy tried to adjust to the addition. Little whimpers left your lips as he fucks you slowly with his fingers. You felt so full, you can’t help but imagine him fucking you with his cock, you’re quite certain he’s massive. His pace eventually speeds up as you move your hips along with his movements. His lips moved back to kiss you, whining against his mouth. Your hands clutched the bed sheets as you moved along with the pace of his fingers, feeling him curl them and spreading them.
“That feels good doesn't it baby? You like it when I play with your little pussy? You like me fucking you with my fingers?" Joel moaned and his thumb connected with your clit, rubbing it at the same pace as he fucked you with his fingers. You bucked your hips and nodded as you moaned. "Use your words kitten," he taunts.
“Fuck, yes. Yes, please oh my god. Joel, please.” You writhed against the sheets as you whimpered. “Please keep calling me that.” You bit your lip as you squeezed your eyes shut.
“You’re such a good kitty for me,” he said, a smug smirk playing on his face. You were impressed how easy it was for this man above you to turn you on and make a mess of you.
Joel leans his head back down, trapping your lips in yet another heated kiss. You felt your legs spread even more open for him as you felt yourself get close to your first orgasm of the night. His tongue slipped into your mouth after another gasp fell from your lips. You couldn’t help but moan, whine and whimper as he continued to pleasure you. Your hands wandered to the back of his head pulling at hair softly making him moan into your mouth.
“Fuck, I need you so bad.” He groaned as his thumb applied more pressure on your little nub. He curled his fingers forward with every penetration until your thighs shook.
“I need you more.” You whimpered as your body trembled underneath his.
His eyes stared into yours, lust and love written all over them. When he fastened his motions inside you, you moaned again and squeezed your eyes shut. A burning intense feeling, a tight coil in your lower abdomen made your back arch beneath him.
“Open your eyes for me, my baby.”
You opened your eyes slowly, looking straight into his eyes. His intense gaze was what it took for you to come undone. The hot feeling spread all over your body, your body tingled, your hips moving at their own accord against Joel’s hand.
“You’re doing so well for me angel,” He said proudly as his fingers slowed down, slipping out of you to rub your slit softly, still helping you ride out your orgasm.
As you came back to your senses, you felt his fingers slip away from your heat. You felt your pussy clench around nothing every now and then and were dripping down the sheets, which made you whimper helplessly. You needed him so bad. And now. Joel climbed off the bed, making quick work to remove all of his clothing. You were still in a daze, closing your eyes for a minute. Moments later you felt the bed dip.
You felt your legs being spread further apart with his strong hands. A loud broken moan left your lips at the feel of his mouth meeting your soaking wet pussy. He dove between your legs, licking a stripe up through your folds and teasingly dipping his tongue into your entrance before he travelled up to your clit, spreading your lips with his wet muscle and sucking your button into his mouth.
You practically screamed at his actions, arching your back slightly off the bed once again. You felt your body trembling terribly. You needed more. You tried to grind your wetness slowly against his lips as your body continued to shake.
Strong arms were suddenly locked around your thighs, securing your hips with his biceps, holding you still despite your attempts to grind your pussy against his lips.
“You taste so good, baby girl. I could eat this pussy all day.”
You felt heat overwhelm your senses more as you felt Joel chuckle against your heat. His tongue was lapping sloppily at your lower lips. Squeaky, senseless noises came out from your throat. You were squirming, it was so good you could barely even figure out what he was doing with his tongue.
“Fuck, Joel baby, oh my goooood” you cried out loud. You were certain that if people walked outside your house that they would have heard you by now. He sucked lazily at your clit while he moved to slip two fingers into you. Joel eventually sucked harder on your clit, still occasionally swirling his tongue around your little bud while moving his fingers inside you a bit faster. You kept chanting his name between moans as you now hold onto his hair with both of your hands.
“Please, I’m so cloooooose.” You whined.
As Joel sucked your clit harder, you gasped loudly as you felt your whole body trembling even more and then you felt your body tense as you came against his mouth. Your whole mind felt like exploding and all you could see were stars. You felt truly overwhelmed by the amount of pleasure and emotions you were experiencing. Your body continued to tremble as you felt yourself come down from your high.
You felt Joel’s tongue still licking up your pussy as he retreats his fingers from your pulsing hole. His mouth felt heavenly, but you whined at the sensitivity. He moaned as he licked against your tight hole, licking up your release, his tongue prodding your entrance.
“T-too much.” You whimpered at the overstimulation.
Joel ignored your pleads, moaning against your heat as he continued to eat you out. The man you love so much that was between your legs kept sliding his tongue up and down your sensitive slit. Your little mewls and other noises spur him on, to move his lips back up to your clit. He sucked the nub softly between his lips. You were grinding your hips against his face as moans kept spilling off your lips. This time he didn’t hold you back from fucking his face. Eventually he leaned down, slipping his tongue into your entrance, he curled the muscle upward to brush your walls, the sight of your fingers bunching the fabric of the sheets in a tight grip encouraging him to do it again.
You were a mess of his name, you chanted his name over and over again. Your hips moved against his face as you continued to whimper and moan breathlessly underneath him. Writhing below him, you felt him lick up and press against a sensitive spot inside that had you seeing stars, while your hips bucked against his face uncontrollably. Defiance and greed consumes your thoughts, your fingers once again gripped onto his peppered hair rather harshly and hips pushed against his face to shove his tongue deeper into your hole.
“Ahhh Joeeeeel—” you drag out. You were really so close, you just needed one more little push.
“Come for me kitten,” he whispered against you, before plunging his tongue back inside you as his thumb came up to press against your little bundle of nerves. That does it, your dam broke down as you came against his mouth as your whole body wouldn’t stop trembling. You came with a loud whine, your hips stuttering as your vision turned white. You cry out his name, your voice unable to remain steady. Your fingers were tightly woven through Joel’s hair and your hips pushed so far against his face, you almost thought you were suffocating him.
“You’re always doing so good for me baby, I love you so much my sweetheart.” Joel whispered against you. As you slowly came down to reality again and you tried to catch your breath, you heard him praising you softly while he continued to lap at your wetness gently, until you whined because the overstimulation was getting too much for you. You Nudged your leg against his face as you tried to squirm away from him, Joel’s mouth finally detached from your heat.
He quickly licked the wetness off his lips and the places he could reach before he crawled up to you with a smile, to kiss you deeply, cupping your face in his hands. You moaned at the taste of yourself against his tongue, your eyes fluttering against his skin while you kiss, his wet beard against your face, your arms wrapped around him to pull his body closer against yours. You sighed, against his mouth, you felt yourself melt in his embrace already. You can feel his soft mouth smiling against yours, as the kiss gets more heated.
Soon your hands start to grip his body tighter against yours, your legs tangling together. It's like you're both starved, this insatiable hunger for each other.
You couldn’t help but roll your hips against his to feel his cock. It turned slick as you kept grinding yourself against him, and he had no trouble gliding his hips against you and rutting it into your clit.
“Oh, fuck” Joel rasped, and it was because he reached down and grasped himself to line up between your lips and slide. He kept rubbing the head of his cock from your entrance, up to your clit, circling until you squirm underneath him, and back down. He loved the sounds you made as he spread his precum around your slit, where you are still dripping for him.
You gasped openly into his mouth, desire growing quickly. You quickly realised by the way he felt while he rubbed against you that he was huge. You were still so wet, but the thought of him finally entering you with his big cock made you wetter. Joel swallowed your whines with his lips against yours, hips rolling against yours. He kissed you full with fervour, his grip on you intensifying heatedly.
You were trembling against him, filled with anticipation. His broad body covered your body with his. Loving how bigger and taller he was than you. You writhed against him, wishing he was just in you already and filling you up and making you see white.
“Are you ready for me darlin’?” He whispered as he looked deep into your eyes. “Let me know if you want me to stop and I will.” He promised.
You bit your lip and nodded, too shy and excited to talk, as you rubbed your pussy against his dick.
“Fuck,” he grunted, “I need you to use your words kitty.”
“Yes,” you whispered breathlessly.
“I’ll try to go slow at first, okay, sweetheart?” He said before leaning back down to kiss your lips again, he reached down and grasped himself to line up between your lips and slide. He rubbed the tip firmly over your swollen clit then moved down to your wet tight hole and your mind was all over the place.
“P-please J-Joel…” you stuttered as your body trembled even more underneath him.
He rubbed himself up and down your slit for a while longer before one of his hands lean down to spread your outer lips sliding his dick teasingly around your core. You arched your back slightly and whimpered loudly out of frustration.
The moment you want to beg him again he leaned down to line it up with your entrance. Your legs trembled underneath him, a mix of nerves and excitement. Joel slid the tip in so slowly it was agonising. Your lips part with a gasp. He was careful, like he was afraid you might break. You let out a long broken whine as he gradually pushed more of him inside you. You whined at the stretch of him. He was so big. You thought big was an understatement, he’s huge. Your tight pussy clenched around him as it tried to accommodate his massive girth. Joel continued to push more of his cock inside you. He leaned down to kiss your lips gently as he moved more inside, hoping the sweetness of the embrace will soften the sting.
His hips stilled once he heard you gasp loudly. “So full…”
“Do you think you can handle more?” He smiled tenderly as he looked down at you.
“T-t-there’s m-more?” You stammered with wide eyes.
“Yeah,” he said breathlessly.
“Please,” You closed your eyes and whined as you nodded. You gripped the bed sheets between your fingers as you begged him for more.
“Good girl,” he groaned softly. You thought there wasn’t a possibility to get more wet but as he said those words you felt your heat get sopping wet. Your pussy continued to pulse and clench around his cock as he moved deeper inside you.
Once he bottomed out, you felt his tip kiss your cervix. Joel let his body rest against yours as he allowed you to adjust to his size. You felt so full, as if he was made for you, and only you. The feeling of him filling you up so completely had you seeing stars and digging your fingernails into his shoulders.You felt one of his hands finding your hand, lacing them with yours as the other one reached up to your face.
His breathing was heavy as you squeezed his cock repeatedly. Small whimpers left your lips as you squirm underneath him.
You needed more.
You slowly opened your eyes to look up at him with pleading eyes. “Please, Joel.”
“My sweet girl needs me to move?” He asked teasingly, as he cocked his head to the side.
“Yes, please.” You begged as your pussy clenched around his thickness rather hard which made him moan. “I need you to fuck me so bad.”
He licked his lips before he nodded quietly and started moving slow and deep, one hand reached down to play with your clit, while the other held your hand tightly. The sting was hurting for a while, but it easily morphed into a more pleasurable feeling as he moved against you. You’re so overstimulated from all your previous orgasms that the sensation he was giving you is mixed between pain and pleasure.
He grunted as he dropped his head to your ear to kiss and lick at the sensitive skin just below it.
“Such a tight pussy,” he groaned.
The angle was so good, but when his pace picked up he finally leaned down to wrap his arms around you, the action made you gasp and you grab at the sheets around you, to fuck you harder and faster.
“You’re taking me so well, baby. Doing so so, good for me. Y-you’re so perfect.” He whispered as he nuzzled his face against your neck.
You whimpered as his lips moved back up to your lips, enveloping them in a passionate kiss. At a certain point you felt the end of his strokes slide into a pressure point in your core that has you clenching like a vise around his dick. Your eyes rolled to the back of your head from the pleasure he was providing you. A loud noise like nothing you’ve ever made escaped your throat, a strange cry of his name.
“Feeling good sweetheart?” He grunted, a small smirk forming on his lips.
His mouth covered your own instead as he swallowed your mewls, you could feel the tightness return in your belly, the tight coil that pulled tight, tight, tighter. His lips slid away from yours, wet and swollen and his breathing harsh as he tried to suck in air again, and everything was too much. It was just too much for you to handle.
He quickened his pace, his hips snapped up to yours to a fast tempo. “This pussy was made for this cock, isn’t it, baby girl?”
His hands couldn’t get enough of you, sliding around your hips and lower back, wanting to feel all of you, touch you everywhere. You moaned at the feeling of his speed, your fourth? orgasm of the night, coming so close. Your arms wrapped around him and your nails dig in his back making him groan. The feeling of the coil tightening in your belly, tingling down to your legs, ready to snap at any moment.
“You’re so beautiful,” he whispered, cursing under his breath when you purposefully tighten your walls around him. “You look so pretty when you’re stretched around my cock, Christ I bet you’d look so pretty full of my cum too.”
“Please…” you moaned as you thought about him filling you up. “Please Joel, fill this pussy up.”
He groaned as he buried his face into your neck as he fucked into you, making the whole bed rattle at his force.
“You want to cum sweetheart?”
You nodded frantically at his words with your eyes closed as you bit your lip harshly. He brought one of his hands down, rubbing your clit with enough pressure to ensure you’d cum.
“F-fuck fuuuck, Joel-Joel, oh my god. I’m going to—!”
“Cum for me, my pretty angel. Let yourself go. Cum all over me.” He moaned against your ear.
Your whole body trembled as you came with a loud cry, your body squirming underneath his as you held his body closer to yours, your nails digging in his back, scratching it. That time around, the orgasm felt more intense than the others, you were feeling so overwhelmed by the pleasure. Joel groaned in your ear as your walls spasmed and pulsed around his cock, begging him to cum inside, desperate for him to fill you up the way he promised.
“Fuck,“ he moaned, pushing himself up as he thrust deeper into you, the head of his cock hitting your cervix repeatedly. “You want me to fill this pussy up? Until it’s all full and messy?”
You nodded vigorously at his words, whining even more at the sensitivity. Your pussy squeezed around his cock in anticipation. “Please…”
He groaned loudly, as he cummed inside you. The warmth of his seed filled you up and spread within your walls. You whimpered at the feel of his cum dripping out of you.
Once both of you caught your breaths, Joel leaned his forehead against yours before kissing you tenderly.
“Please… stay.” You moaned softly.
“Of course baby,” he whispered before pressing a gentle kiss to your forehead.
“Want you to stay inside.” You whimpered as your pussy clenched around him.
Joel groaned, wrapping his arms around you before rolling both of you onto your sides. “anythin’ for you, baby.”
“I love you Joel.” You nuzzled your head into the crook of his neck, enjoying his strong hold on you.
“I love you too sweetheart. You’re everythin’ to me.”
Both of you continued to caress each other’s bodies, whispering sweet nothings, kissing and holding each other until you both fell into a slumber.
Joel caught your heart, promising to hold onto it forever.
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tired-biscuit · 2 years
Note
stepdad!bakugo and his breeding kink hehe
cisjxjsjjx oh my god, it's all under the cut!! <3
cw: stepcest, infidelity, age gap, breeding, daddy kink. 18+ mdni / fem!reader
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ever since meeting you - the young, pretty daughter of his new, albeit constantly busy wife - katsuki tries to make an impression by spoiling you rotten in all the wrong ways.
surprisingly, a huge chunk of it is with money.
at least at the start, that is.
having a salary so high he has no fucking clue on what to keep spending it on - katsuki had never really become a big fan of wasting his earnings on himself, after all; not even after he's entered his 40s - he consequently decides to buy you and your mother anything you want instead.
and really, he actually doesn't mean anything by it at the beginning. because, yes, katsuki might be a brute - a very brash one, at that - but he's also smart. clever enough to know that he should start building a relationship with his new stepdaughter as soon as possible, he understands that you're going to be seeing each other a lot from now on.
with him becoming your new stepdad, and with summer being just around the corner - the season that makes you come home from school to share a household you're not used to for a couple of months - and with a person you're not used to either - it's practically unavoidable.
all of that could bring tension, he knows that as well. so, trying to avoid the drama said tension could cause - the drama he doesn't want, mind you - katsuki shuts down your might-be tantrums with cash before they even get so much as a chance to erupt.
it starts off innocent enough. he buys you brand new textbooks and pays for your entire college tuition for the upcoming year. when you find out, he pretends to be nonchalant about it; rolling his crimson eyes and grunting that gruff, "it's whatever" as if his heart doesn't surprisingly jump the moment you throw your arms around his neck and press a fat kiss to his cheek as a thank you.
he's shocked at that. not because you're much more accepting about the entire stepdad ordeal than he's expected you to be, loving him already - surely because of his money, he suspects - but because the contact felt... good.
what's funny is that he doesn't like it when people touch him so unexpectedly like you'd done just now. he hates it, actually; outright despises it. and yet here he is... preening like a sucker.
for his stepdaughter.
so, keeping that good feeling in mind: he proceeds to spoil you even more as an attempt to make it linger. he tells himself it's all meant to keep you happy and 'bearable', but as the weeks go on, and his new wife - your mother - continues to remain absent because of her long business trips and late-night work hours; he starts buying you cute outfits, too.
outfits that he sees you scrolling through online on the new phone he got you at some point as well - all these short skirts and pretty summer dresses, oh my, what's not to love? and he sure does love them, so much that he even smirks when you jump around in glee and give him a little fashion show to show off how the new clothes fit you; the hearts in your eyes prominent whilst you twirl in front of him in the middle of his living room.
and then, it's not just about spending money anymore. he starts spending more time with you instead. by taking it easy at his job, using up his vacation days for the first time in years.
pretending it's just to get to know you better so there's no future bumps in the road that represents his marriage, he makes you breakfast, cooks you dinner. eats both with you. watches movies with you, if you tell him you want to have dinner in front of the TV. sometimes, if he's off work the next day, he even gets persuaded into sharing a bottle of wine with you.
just to take the edge off.
and then you start talking; more and more. in person, over text. your phone number soon becomes his favoured one; even more favoured over the one that belongs to his goddamn wife. he starts thinking about you a lot. obsessing over you a lot. fantasizing about you a lot. even late at night, when he should be asleep.
and goddammit, you crawl under his skin so quickly; find a way to creep into his dreams. the kind that end up not being proper at all, and that make his gaze linger on you in the morning. that make him tuck a curl of your hair behind your ear afterwards, and pat your cheek. that make him smile that crooked grin at you that you see so rarely.
and just like that: it's not all that innocent anymore.
because by the end of the month ever since you've come home from college; he's got you underneath him. just you and your big stepdaddy that likes to spoil you - like it's been for weeks on end.
just you and him: entangled in a mess of limbs right on the couch you make him watch shitty movies on when you want to eat dinner in front of the TV. just you and him: with your legs wide open and stretchy because of the wine you make him drink with you on nights when he doesn't have work in the morning. just you and him: completely naked; his big, scarred hands free to roam your skin that's been hiding underneath the dress he's bought you and that he's long since torn off of your body.
just you and him: fucking like you shouldn't.
raw.
he screws you deep and rough, the wine in his system making his face beet red during it. stretches and bullies your young pussy with his heavy cock; no protection present to keep him from feeling the full warmth of your velvety walls. until you're left squealing a series of broken, gasping pleas as you writhe on top of the couch, the occasional "daddy!" finding its way in-between all of the slutty moans that turn him outright delirious the moment he hears them leave your equally as slutty mouth.
so delirious, in fact, that he doesn't think straight, doesn't think of the consequences as he fills that young pussy right up after the second time it clenches around his dick and he feels your nails drag down his broad back - probably chipping the expensive manicure he's paid for, too. as he looks down and watches it leak his cum out when he pulls his hips back from your own slightly, making him groan something feral; head of ash blonde that's turning faintly grey at the temples tilting like an animal at the sight of the thick milky ropes to connect you both, bridging the narrow gap between your hot bodies.
it all makes him push back into you, actually - as messed up as it is. push as much of his seed right back into your tiny hole that keeps fluttering around his girth and sucking him in; persuading him to breed you some more, right after he collects himself and gets fully hard again, of course.
and the fucked up part is that he'll probably do just that. it's just too good, after all; you're just too good, too tight to resist. so eager and sugary; like a candy he never liked, but simply adores licking on now. his sweet little girl.
"call me that again, sweetheart," he rasps after a moment of thought, his voice breathless, forehead covered in caramel-scented sweat. his thrusts are slow and sloppy, but you can feel him starting to throb again. he's deep inside your belly - it hurts so good.
"call me daddy again, and i'll make sure to fuck your dumb little brains out."
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drdemonprince · 3 months
Note
I just read your piece on mindfulness, I was really touched by your authenticity in sharing how much it just sucks to exist in the world as an autistic person. I relaize I had defensively rejected the idea of mindfulness without really stopping to learn what it's really about, and your article was so enlightening. Your honesty in sharing how rough a time you had really drove home the fact that mindfulness is really about completely immersing yourself the rawness of the human experience. Personally, I find joy easily and I find that I'm often mindful about the positive, appealing, beautiful aspects of the world. I have a much, much harder time dealing with discomfort and suffering (except in kink!). I have a tendancy to shut out everything uncomfortable, especially painful stimulation, "negative" feelings, and the people around me. Your piece inspired me to challenge myself to be mindful while overstimulated, triggered, and extremely anxious in a grocery store (aka hell on earth). Spoiler alert: it really really sucked. But, I definitely processed a lot more of what was going on in my mind, and my body. I noticed how tense I felt in my chest, and learned how it took hours for it to dissipate. I noticed how busy it was in the store, and how the narrow aisles and close proximity to other people made me agitated and scared. I know now what will happen if I go there again at that time of day, and can adjust my plans to shop there again accordingly. I noticed the ache of the trauma shrapnel in my mind, and I percepted that just beyond my reach parts of me were processing and feeling really difficult things. I know that if I listen enough I will learn what is going on, and be able to process it consciously. The last thing I noticed was at the check-out. At this point I was desperately trying to escape so I was practically flinging my items into my backpack. I was completely overwhelmed by the chaos I felt in my being. But when I paused to pay, my attention shifted outwards. I realized how kind the cashier had been to me. I knew from her body language and tone of voice that she understood that I was having a hard time. She was so empathetic and kind during such a short interaction, at the end of her shift, towards someone who could barely look at her. I was so touched, and have thought of her every day since. Thank you for your article. I can't wait to notice, and feel, and learn more, into perpetuity.
Wow. This is beautiful. This is exactly how I experienced embracing mindfulness to better understand my own sensory issues and overwhelm, after years of rejecting the idea as stupid, woo-woo, and unpleasant. Attending to all the ways in which your environment is disabling you is PAINFUL, but it really can generate a ton of insight. When we know exactly what is triggering us, and what is moving the needle up and down, we can self-regulate by making tiny adjustments that make the painful a little more bearable. And then we get to appreciate little oases of peace and grace, like the one you experienced with the cashier. So lovely. Thank you for sharing this with me. <3
Here is the piece, for those who didn't see it:
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jils-things · 6 months
Text
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I would never fall in love again until I found her
I said, "I would never fall unless it's you I fall into"
I was lost within the darkness, but then I found her
I found you
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[3.25.23]
ouueeehh we're back to my corny love letters like last time 💜 again absolutely NO pressure reading these, because it WILL get lengthy 💜 this also serves as a personal love letter that i can archive!
ahh, steven st.one. a wild card in my f/o list. i never thought i'd find myself to like him... i've always tried my best to avoid the pretty boy design after i've gotten older which is why i was oddly in denial during my early steven days hehe... the earliest memory i have of him is just me battling him in my ruby emulator back in the 4th grade - but i don't think i actually remembered him too well, i only thought he looked like a silly anime version of the classical composer be.ethoven and tbh, i still like to think he does look like him in the rse style lolll 💜
for the whole, actual story - it was just last year - i was reading the r/s arc, of course. it was one of those days in school where i had nothing much to do and snuck my phone to read manga to pass some time. at some point, my classmate joined to read with me - it was at this moment where steven debuts properly and it caught my classmate by Surprise. she thought he looked very handsome! to which i teased her... strangely enough, this exchange impacted me? maybe it's because someone acknowledged what i was doing and even bothered to briefly read along with me - so in a way steven kinda bookmarked that memory.
so after that exchange, i just kept on reading. everytime he had something to say, i couldn't help but just stare at his face? he looked nice, i guess? he's also very gentle and polite... i kept this thought of mine for quite sometime until i was discussing the manga arc with my p.okespe mutual and he mentioned him. i somewhat confessed he looked nice and that was the biggest mistake i've ever done because what my friend did after was absolutely blow me with art after art of the pretty rock collector and i was STRUGGLING. it ultimately came down to this one cute panel in the o.ras chapter where he was blushing and I wasn't the same person since then 🚶🚶🚶and funnily enough, i told myself I wasn't going to fall for anyone because of the manga and whoopedoo p.okespe!steven my beloved the greatest man ever. i mean i love the game counterpart as well, they're nearly identical - it's just the manga that totally swept me... sighhhh
steven is such a nice character to begin with, he's honestly a very humble and nice champion. he's not showy about his identity and would rather be alone by himself to indulge in what he wants. he is willing to give up a very respectable position in the po.kemon league just to pursue his interests and with that i see a man not after power and fame but a man who just wants to find joy in what he does even if it demotes him. on top of that, he's just a sweet gentleman. he was raised well of course, and you can see it clearly in his acts in the story. i love him very much for that and who wouldn't want those traits?
i was really absolutely embarrassed to be all over this guy at first - it took a whole month for me to actually share to my blog about how i liked steven and took awhile to adjust to that fact that i opened up about it 😭 but the community was very kind and supportive about the pairing and if i'm being honest, i think stevaide made a super lasting impact on my blog recently and it's really so comforting to picture them as a young loving married couple with ruby. it made me feel unashamed with what i can do with my silly ships. i'm still very glad for the endless support for steven and jaide.
soo, yes. happy memoryshipping 💜💚 thank you for making my times of struggle more bearable if not perfect and thank you to everyone who enjoys this ship even if it was just a little bit :]
credits to @/cafekitsune <3
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ramblingoak · 5 months
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Grading Papers
Mushy May in Lucifer's Hollow: Day 3 - Massage
Copia x Aether
This fic is set in an alternate universe in a town called Lucifer's Hollow. For Mushy May I'll be using the prompts to post little snippets of life for the humans and ghouls that live there 💙 Thank you to @forlorn-crows for putting Mushy May together!
~ In Lucifer's Hollow Copia teaches history at the high school and Aether is a firefighter. ~
Warnings: fluff and stuff, sfw, 500 words (thank you to @ghuleh-recs for the dividers and @foxybouquet for the Italian help!)
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“Sono tutti imbecilli!”
Aether sighed at Copia’s outburst, adding a few more cookies to the plate before heading towards his husband’s office.  He had been in there all afternoon grading essays and from the increasingly alarming sounding Italian it didn’t seem like things were going well.  Most of the time Copia was extremely patient with his students, sometimes overly so.  But with the end of the school year getting closer and closer Copia was clearly low on patience.
Luckily Aether knew exactly what to do.
He knocked gently at the door a few times before going inside, immediately having to clamp down on his bottom lip to keep from laughing at the sight before him.  Copia was turned towards the elaborate cage that took up one side of his office, a somewhat crumpled paper held aloft and a look of disbelief on his face.
“Are they much help?”  Copia flinched, slapping the paper down on his desk and giving Aether a sheepish look.  The ghoul just smirked and strolled over to his husband’s side.  He set the plate of snacks down and leaned down to plant a kiss onto the silver hair at Copia’s temple.  “I didn’t realize Brizio knew so much about the politics of Ancient Greece.”
Copia mumbled something under his breath but Aether could see the pink on his cheeks so he knew the man didn’t mind being teased.  The rats had been part of the deal since the beginning, not that Aether ever had minded them.  They played a big part in the start of their relationship.  Aether smiled fondly as he remembered practically tackling Copia in his front yard to keep the man from running back into his smoke filled house.  Thankfully he had finally listened and Aether had been the one to save the day (and the rats).
“He knows more than some of these kids.”  Aether chuckled at Copia’s remark, taking a moment to card his fingers through Copia’s hair and lightly scratching his scalp with his claws.  “Ah, sì.  That’s very nice.”
Aether smiled while he continued, eventually moving to stand behind his chair.  Copia leaned back with a groan when he moved both of his hands to his shoulders, digging his fingers into the tight muscles there.
“You should take a break for the night, they’ll still be there in the morning.”
“Not if I burn the house down.  Hey!”  Copia looked up at Aether with a pout when the ghoul flicked his ear.  “Ugh, fine.  Just let me finish these tonight, per favore?  I only have a few left and then I don’t have to think about them the rest of the weekend.”
“Deal.  But you have to go with me to the farmer’s market tomorrow.”  Copia hummed in agreement, wiggling his shoulders when Aether stopped rubbing them.  “Need something?”
“Don’t stop, this makes reading this nonsense somewhat bearable.”
The ghoul grinned, pressing his fingers into Copia’s muscles once more as his husband got back to work.
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orpheuslament · 1 month
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hello. 💞 i just wanted to send a message through as someone who is also bipolar and also has bpd. i've been on medicine for almost a year now and, like you, i was very scared of what being stable / semi-stable might look like for me. everyone claims that it is not a good thing to think of your mental illness(es) as being central to who you are, but how can you not when it sometimes actually is? it changes everything about you and how you veiw the world, it literally molds your mind and your emotions and your body in certain ways. but, here's the thing: on my medication, i still have those same emotions. i am still the same person. i still have those thoughts. my medicine does not erase that. it instead makes it more bearable. it gives me the space to take a moment and figure out if what i'm feeling is actually how others are trying to make me feel. it allows me grace and patience and the ability to think things through in a way i could not do without medication. it used to be, for me, where, out of a 7 day week, i would have one good day, 4 horrific days, and 2 days where i could manage. with my medication i can't even use the example of a 7 day week - on it, it's more like 14 days: 10 good days, 1 bad day, and 3 where it's so-so. and it's only so-so rather than horrific because my medicine allows me the space to breathe.
medicine works differently for everyone and sometimes it is hard to find the correct ones, but i do believe it is worth it. being bipolar & having bpd are a part of you, it's true, but the mediciation isn't going to change you into someone unrecognizable. it is going to allow you to be kind to yourself and those around you instead.
it is an incredibly scary thing, especially when you have just been officially diagnosed. but i think you should be proud of yourself for taking these steps, even as overwhelming as they can be. medicine or not, you are still you. nothing is ever going to change that. the medicine just makes being you easier.
:((((( this is incredibly reassuring & nice to read, thank you so much
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wildemaven · 1 year
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fall apart, again : chapter two | joel miller
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Pairing: Joel Miller x OFC!Genevieve
WC: 2763
Warnings: 18+ Blog; little bit of angst and a little bit of fluff— that’s all I’m saying, reader has a name but is a blank slate with zero description,
A/N: I was eager to get this part written and out as soon as possible. Chapter 3 might take me a minute to get out, just a heads up. Thanks so much to @gnpwdrnwhiskey for being the best and listening to me stress over this 💞
Series Masterlist / Playlist / Inspo Board
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September 22, 2003 - 4 Days until Outbreak
The summer still lingers in Texas, the air dense and muggy. 
Heat shimmering over the hood of your car as you drive, the blasting of cool air is the only saving grace you have for the time being.
“Hey, it’s me. I wanted to talk to you about something when you get here. Umm— Shit! I hate this so much. *sigh* I miss you Eve…A-and I love you so, so fucking much. I guess— I guess I’ll see you in a bit. Drive safe. Bye.”
*BEEP*
“End of messages. You have no new messages.”
A heavy sigh huffs out of your chest, you press the red ‘end call’ button and toss the small phone into your passenger seat. 
His voice still has such an effect on you after all this time, the little flutter it elicited the second it reverberated into the speaker has you almost fighting back tears. 
You blink them away quickly as you reach for the stereo volume, turning it up to a somewhat higher but bearable level, the local station plays through some hit song you haven’t heard before.
The steering wheel is rigid as you readjust your grip, a slight glint of light pulls your gaze briefly from the road ahead, the small gold band that cradles a tiny diamond shines brightly on your left hand. 
Refocusing on the road, your mind wanders to when you had both found the ring, your small income not offering a lot towards something with more extravagance, but you were the opposite of flashy so it was perfect. 
You remember the sight of him immediately dropping to one knee the minute you both stepped out of the small jewelry store, its parking lot the backdrop for the proposal you both had planned together. 
Yes! flew from your mouth instantly as you dropped down into his arms, the celebratory kiss only lasting briefly as the asphalt began to nearly burn through your jeans. 
Meeting the love of your life at 18 and planning your life together at 22 felt right, even despite the apprehension from both of your parents, convinced you were throwing your lives away. 
You wish you could say the last 14 years were nothing short of pure wedded bliss, the last few years were trying as you both worked yourselves to make ends meet, even in your 30’s trying to stay afloat was no easy feat. 
The separation wasn't an easy decision. It broke your heart to even suggest such a thing, but you needed a break from the fighting and the tears, some space to clear your head and let things settle down before reevaluating what was best for both of you. 
The love you had for him was still so strong and you held on to it fiercely, allowing time to heal the small fractures in your heart. You had hoped that your decision for this arrangement you had been living for the last 2 months, wasn't one you would regret in the long run. 
Your friends assured you it was just a rough patch, something all couples dealt with at some point in their lives, trying to alleviate any hesitancy you were having that this was the end for your relationship. You knew you didn’t want an end, you had looked into options to work on things, hoping he would be on board and this would be a start to a new beginning. 
“You know, he cries too. And he thinks I can’t tell, but I do.” A voice drifts from the back seat. 
You hadn’t even realized you were crying, hoping the music muffled your sniffling as you promptly wiped your face, knowing she can tell with you too. 
You catch her reflection in the rear view mirror, her gaze focused out the window, there's a soft but somber look on her face— you hate that you’re the cause of any sadness she is hiding from you. 
Shifting your eyes back to the road as you turn into a quiet neighborhood. The small street is lined with modest homes and memories of block party cookouts on holiday weekends, kids running the sidewalks as their popsicles melt down their small hands and families bringing home newest editions to continue adding new memories. 
The two story red brick with white trim house is nestled further down the cul de sac, it was the perfect starter home for two young adults who threw their savings and a hefty bank loan into it. 
Guilt builds in your chest the closer you get, knowing it’s a quick visit before you leave, it hasn't gotten easier and each time only adding to the pain you feel of not pulling in that driveway permanently. 
“He’s going to be bummed you won’t be here this weekend, I can already see his grumpy face.”
Parking the car along the curb in front of the house and killing the engine, you turn to look to the back seat. 
“Please don’t say anything, just let me tell him okay?” You can already see his furrowed brow line and puppy dog eyes, for as handsome as he is, he wears his grumpiness well. 
“Are you going to tell him you’re moving back home too?” 
“What? How did you—“
“I heard you talking to grandma this morning, you both aren’t the quietest people, even when you think you’re being quiet. Just tell him, please. I don’t think he can take it much longer.” 
“Yes, I’ll tell him.”
“Promise?”
“I promise— Gosh, since when did the roles reverse here? I swear, you were just 5 begging for your training wheels to come off. What the heck happened?”
“I turned 14 and wondered when my parents were going to come to their senses.” 
“Alright, get your stuff baby girl. Don’t forget your school books too.” 
“Got it!” Grabbing her overnight bag and backpack, books tucked under her arm as she exits the car. 
You grab the small package out of the glove box and take a minute to calm your nerves, the air sticking to your skin the moment you step out of the car. 
“Give me a hug.” Opening your arms to your daughter, grateful that even at 14 she still loves giving her parents hugs. “I’m gonna miss you, but I’ll call you when I get there ok?” Your cheek squished against the side of her head as you squeeze her a little tighter. 
“Did you get the gift?” She looks up at you. 
You hold up the silver box, giving a little shake, its contents knocking about slightly. You both smile at the remembrance of picking it out, the shopping trip to the mall last night week, searching every store for the perfect gift. It took 10 stores, a pretzel and a pit stop to Claire’s before you both settled on it— the perfect style and color to match his rugged look. 
“Do you want to give it to him?” You ask her. 
“No, you can. I’m going to grab something to eat before we leave for school.” 
Another round of hugs, several small kisses to the top of her head and a string of ‘I love yous’ before she leaves you on the sidewalk to head inside. 
The front door opens before she’s even made it up the driveway. 
“Hey Dad!” Throwing herself into his arms. 
Watching their embrace sends a wave of emotion through you, their bond is something you’ve always loved, only getting stronger as she’s gotten older. 
You can’t hear what they're talking about from where you’re standing, hushed giggles and smiles exchanged before she makes her way inside. 
The roar of a pickup truck grabs your attention as it parks in front of the garage, the door slamming shut before you see him round the front of the truck. 
“Eve! You finally comin’ to take my asshole brother back? He keeps mopin’ around like a lost puppy. Makes him a pain in the ass to deal with truthfully— if not for him, do it for me sweetheart!” His hands up in a praying manner, you can’t help but shake your head and laugh at how dramatic he is first thing in the morning. 
“Tommy, shut the fuck up and leave her alone will ya. Go on an’ head inside, I’ll be there in a minute. Sarah’s probably cooking up some eggs or somethin’— make sure she doesn’t burn the house down.” His voice sounds better when he’s standing 2 feet away from you, shouting at his idiot brother who is retreating to the house in search of food that was mentioned. 
“Hey.” The tension leaves his shoulders, dropping the minute he gets a good look at you, his smile on full display. 
It had been a week since you had last seen him, dropping Sarah off at your parents where you’ve been staying for the last 2 months. 
“Hi, Joel.” 
He hesitates for a moment, not sure whether to give you a hug or not, you make the decision for him and lean into his solid body wrapping your arms around him instantly, his brain taking a second to register the gesture before reciprocating earnestly. You breathe in his freshly showered scent— woodsy and warm, like a mountain forest after a raining day. 
The hug lingers on for a while, neither of you speaking a word, savoring the embrace fully before releasing each other. 
“How’s things been? Your parents good?” Hands fidgeting at his side, nerves starting to tick off as he searches for things to ask you. 
“Yeah, things are good— things are going well.” Your voice fluttering, your own nerves making you feel like a middle schooler talking to her crush for the first time between classes. “My parents are good, too— they said to tell you hello.” 
Another beat of silence, not really sure what to say next. 
“Oh— this is for you.” You hand him the box you’ve been gripping tightly since you left the car. “It’s from Sarah and I, she insisted it was something you would like— Happy Birthday, Joel.” 
Joel opens the lid to reveal a watch— a simple black watch face with matte silver casing and a green fabric band. Pulling it from the box he takes a better look at it, holding the weight of it in his large callused hand. 
“Thanks— I love it.” And you know he means it, his genuine smile lights up his face making his beautiful brown eyes shine and crinkle up on the sides. 
“Here, let me help you put it on.” Grabbing the watch from his hand. 
Sliding the watch band around his wrist, his skin is soft against your fingertips as you maneuver the buckle in place— his forearm taut, muscles and tendons flexed and firm from years of working with his hands. His broad frame, all skilled and capable of handling any kind of physical demands, taking on any task with ease— from the way he held the tools that aided in remodeling every issue the house had when you moved in, to the way he gently held your newborn in the early hours of the morning and how he would hold you every night as you slept beside him— his body built for protecting the ones he loves the most. 
You find it hard to let him go, your hands loitering over his hand, wanting nothing more than for him to pull you back against him, and you think he is going to when he grabs your left hand. His focus was first on your wedding ring, he’d spent the last 2 months worried you would remove it— his thumb smoothes over the gold band, then wrapping his hand around tenderly yours. 
His eyes move from where your hands are joined to your face, watching how you’re still looking at the way he’s holding your hand, how you meet his eyes after a brief moment and the world around you is still. 
“I was thinking we could try counseling—“
“I talked to a lawyer—“
You both speak at the same time, Joel’s face instantly morphing from hope to heartbreak at the way you mention talking to a lawyer. 
“Hey, don’t get all worried on me, it was just my mom’s friend from Bunco.” You start to explain, your hand cupping his face. “She’s a retired lawyer I should say— she proposed I start writing down my thoughts in the form of letters, writing the things I've been wanting to say to you or how I’ve been feeling— anyway, she also suggested we try counseling too. Said it can help get things back on track, that it would be good for us.” 
Joel releases the breath he was holding, relief settling into his handsome features. 
“Yeah— I think it would be good for us too. I got the number of someone who specializes in marriage counseling, they were highly recommended.” 
Your heart swells at the effort he’s putting into fighting for you, to fight for your marriage. 
“Okay. Set us up a meeting with them and send me all the details.” 
His hands settle into your hips, yours on his arms, the distance between you slowly closing. 
“Okay. I wanted to ask you, no pressure or anything— Sarah wanted to get a cake on Friday for my birthday, she insists on it actually. Would you want to join us?”
“You know I would love to—” You pause, gathering all your thoughts before letting him know you wouldn’t be able to. 
“Definitely feels like there’s a but coming.” His brows knit together as he waits for the rest of your letdown. 
“I’m heading out of town, today actually. I picked up a few shifts down in Laredo at their hospital— it’s been planned for several weeks now, so I can’t get out of it.” 
You had been working as a traveling nurse for the last 6 months, picking up shifts all over the state and working as much as possible to continue to help with the endless amount of bills. 
“But— I put in for a permanent position at St. David’s. They were looking for a new head of triage, so I applied— and it would keep me closer to home.”
“Home? Like here home?” His head nudged in the direction of the house behind him, hands gripping tighter on your hips at the prospect of you moving back in. 
“Yeah. I was thinking— I should be back early next week after my shifts are through and if it’s okay with you, I can start moving back in on Monday evening?” 
“Eve, you don’t even have to ask. I would love nothin’ more than to have my wife home with me. Should we tell Sarah now or wait ‘til you get back?”
“She already knows— teenagers and the way their hearing only picks up on the things not meant for them. Although, I think she was secretly plotting something.” 
Laughter fills the air between you, his forehead now resting against yours. 
“I love you, Eve. I promise things are going to be different.”
“I love you so much. we’ll get through this together.”
Joel’s hand moves to tilt your chin up slightly, his gaze flitting between your eyes and lips, searching for any sign of rejection from you. 
Your lashes flutter against the top of your cheeks at the sensation of Joel’s lips molding against yours, pulling you flush to him, your hands carding through the curls at the nape of his neck. 
It doesn’t take much for the kiss to deepen, weeks of pent up emotion pouring into every little detail of it. 
“Would you two get a room already?” Sarah shouts from the front door. 
“Yeah, get a fuckin’ room you animals.” Tommy always needing to add his own commentary. 
The kiss over sooner than you would have liked. 
“I should get going, I’ve got a 4 hour drive ahead of me.” 
“Will you— will you call me when you get there? Let me know you made it safe?”
“Sure. I’ll call once I get settled into my hotel room.”
He kisses you one last time before letting you go, watching as you head back to your car. 
Pulling the driver door open you pause, looking to Joel the house then to Sarah, blowing them a kiss and a final wave.
“I’ll see you all next week!” You say before getting into your car and driving back down the street towards the main road, watching their reflection in the mirror get smaller and smaller as they wave you one final goodbye.  
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