#thanks for giving us Stan fans the opportunity to show our boy some love.

[bookworm-blogs]

Surprise Ask!: Some Kayama and Shirakumo headcannons?

I’M SORRY FOR NOT RESPONDING SOONER I’VE BEEN BUSY W/ WORK N SHIT FHFHFHH

But omg yes! HELL yess I do!!

Since you didn't specify whether their relationship would be platonic or romantic, I'll just do both because BY GOD THEIR FRIENDSHIP ITSELF IS HEAVILY OVERLOOKED. (I'm still salty about Kayama's lack of presence in the main magna regarding the Kurogiri reveal. She's just as much a friend to Shirakumo as Aizawa and Yamada, damn it! Then again Horikoshi could be holding off on us for a reason idk we'll just have to wait and see...)

Anyways! Platonic (ft. Rooftop Gang) headcannons!

1. Kayama and Shirakumo have a similar taste in music. I know our world and the BNHA world are different (apparently they haven't reached the moon yet in BNHA?? And Aizawa had a touch screen phone in Vigilantes so I'm assuming their generation and our millennials grew up a tad bit differently), but I can't help but think they would be complete nerds of 80's rock. Smashing Pumpkins, Fleetwood Mac, Red Hot Chili Peppers... These two would always contact each other on when the next album hits and be each other's first choice to concerts and would always blow all their money on band merch. Their all-time favorite song would probably be "Go Your Own Way" by Fleetwood Mac, or "September” by Earth, Wind, and Fire. They always argue about which is better.

2. These two are the BIGGEST video game nerds. Every now and then, when they aren’t busy with school or work studies, Kayama would come over to Shirakumo’s house to play games with him. Aizawa isn’t too fond of video games, and Yamada prefers to listen to different types of podcasts, so that leaves Kayama to be Shirakumo’s gamer buddy, which isn’t bad at all since this girl loves all types of games. From Animal Crossing to the Halo franchise, Kayama has a surprisingly broad range, with her favorite genre of video games being horror shooter games like Resident Evil. Shirakumo isn’t a big fan of horror and is more a fan of free world games like Red Dead Redemption or The Last of Us, though he does make an exception for point and click horror games.

3. Kayama occasionally pops in on the boys’ study sessions. Usually, Yamada would be at the helm tutoring Shirakumo and Aizawa, though Kayama would pop in from time to time to help him with harder subjects like history since she’s smart. She used to host their sessions at her house, though that quickly stopped since she always dressed up as a sexy teacher and got a little too close to the boys while showing them how to solve equations. 

4. They would regularly barge in each others’ homes. Shirakumo was especially guilty of this, as he would use his clouds to fly over to his friends’ room windows and sneak in through through them. It became such a common occurrence that Aizawa, Yamada, and Kayama all decided to just keep their windows open for the cloud boy to come in whenever. Usually Aizawa would be Shirakumo’s favorite victim (he loved watching Aizawa leap out of his skin every time he knocked on the window), though Yamada and Kayama were just as entertaining (Shirakumo once knocked on Yamada’s window and nearly went deaf after the blond screamed with his quirk on. Kayama was a bit more risky for obvious reasons). Kayama was the first one to return the favor, however, and when Shirakumo saw her sitting on his bed in the dark while petting Sushi like an evil mastermind, he let out a high pitched scream that Kayama still holds over his head to this day. 

5. Kayama and Shirakumo "flirt" with each other all the time. You know Ayame and Shigure from Fruits Baskets? How they would say something incredibly corny to each other before suddenly being like, "haha cheers mate." That's these two. Since they hang out on a regular basis, people always make fun of them by calling them boyfriend/girlfriend. One day, they got so fed up with having to explain themselves that they decided, "fuck it, if they want a show we'll give them a show." When they made their first target pass out from a furious blush and a bloody nose, Shirakumo and Kayama made this their "how to keep hoes at bay" strategy. Yamada finds their antics hilarious, while Aizawa always thought it was weird. Every time they "flirt," Shirakumo and Kayama always make sure to say "no hetero" as soon as the other person is gone.

Now for the romantic headcannons!

1. Everything is the same, except Shirakumo forgot to say "no hetero." This made Shirakumo have an existential crisis for about a month. He would always ask himself, "Why didn't I say it that time? Was I being stupid? Or did I actually mean it? What if this changes our friendship forever? Oh God, what if she hates me?" Aizawa would always be the first person Shirakumo goes to to vent his woes, sometimes even coming to his room in the middle of the night. While Shirakumo would ramble about how bad it is to catch feelings for his gal pal, Aizawa would always listen until he's done before telling him to just confess. Shirakumo doesn't, and this routine lasts an entire month.

2. Kayama realizes Shirakumo's growing crush but doesn't say anything bc she wants to hear it from him. This man tries acting like nothing's bothering him, but he was as obvious as Dipper from Gravity Falls (muttering under his breath and hopping at the first opportunity to hang out with her). At first Kayama didn't think much of it, but when she caught him glaring at a couple gawking boys in the hallway, she realized what was also going on.

3. After 3 months of awkwardness, Kayama finally dragged him off on a date. Shirakumo was terrified the entire time, waiting for Kayama to tell him he's not her type, but was shocked when she bluntly told him, "we should start dating" after watching a movie. Everything fell into place afterwards.

4. These two became the hottest couple at UA. Up until the Tasomiya Incident, Shirakumo and Kayama acted a lot like how they did before, except they now had dinner dates, movie nights, and all the fun couple stuff like making out behind the school and genuinely flirting (much to their friends' disgust. Seriously, do these two have no shame?). Kayama loved going shopping, and Shirakumo was more than happy to carry around her stuff on his clouds. Once, they got caught sneaking out to the pier at night and made a brave escape on Shirakumo's clouds. As soon as they got back to his house, they were on the floor, laughing.

5. After Shirakumo's death, Kayama hadn't dated since. Sometimes she would go out whenever her friends would set her up, but Shirakumo was the last time she ever has a serious relationship. She protects Sushi with her life, even as he grows older. Sushi was the last living remnant of Shirakumo, and she wants to keep him for as long as possible.

Little does she know he may not be as dead as she thinks... (Dun, dun dun)

Anyways yeah, I’m a slut for this rarepair and it breaks my heart that there isn’t more content on it. Fear not, my fellow CloudNight stans, for I am making a fanfic on Ao3 rn and am also gonna make a one-shot in a few days! Thank you, Nightowl, for giving me the chance to scream for a bit! ;’)

[twokinkybeans]

Stark On Ice 2: Heartbeat (Starker Figure Skating AU)

Read On AO3 here

Read Chapter 1 here

---

Chapter 2: Heartbeat

Peter hums happily when he sinks into the soft, leather couch outside of the rink. Quentin Beck, the man that’s been hosting Celebrity Spin-Off for nearly a decade now, is already waiting for them. He sends them both a charming smirk and waves the hand in which he’s holding the mic to beckon them closer. Tony carefully skates towards the couch and lowers himself on it. It’s funny how skating through the entire choreo feels solid, yet maneuvering to sit down feels unsteady and scary. He’s panting. His muscles are tired and slightly sore. It doesn’t matter to Tony. He’s so happy he pulled this off. "Woa-woa-woah!" Beck exclaims and shakes his head, grinning. "Tony Stark, now that was a delightful surprise! Give it up for our favorite CEO, everyone!" The public cheers and whistles and applauds, and as much as Tony is used to being in the center of attention, this sure hits differently. People are cheering for something he’s done all by himself. No inheriting something from his crazy rich, crazy stoic father. No. Tony laughs and blows a little kiss towards the camera, mouthing a quick ‘thank you’. 

Beck shifts in his seat, crossing his right ankle over his left thigh. He smiles, waiting for the applause to die down. "Tell us, Tony. How are you feeling?" Tony leans in toward the mic.  "Fucking amazing- Peter and I have been training for so long. It's so rewarding to finally show off what he taught me." Peter glances and bites down his lip nervously.  "What about you, Peter? Rumor has it that you're a big fan of Tony Stark, did he meet your expectations in real life?" Tony whips his head around in surprise.

What? Peter never told him that piece of information before. He makes a mental note to ask him about it at a later time. Peter nods timidly. "Tony's a great dude. He trains harder than some of my fellow professional skaters, and well, as eh, as you could see, he's really picked up some skills here." "Well, let's dive right into this." Beck presses into his earpiece to show the audience he's getting information from backstage. Then, he turns his head to stare at the large projector screen behind them.  "Twitter seems to have been blown away by your performance- as have I. You two killed it out there!" Beck licks his lips as he waits for the screen to pull up the Twitter feed. Tony squints and looks up at it too, reading along while Beck speaks.

Stark has the hots for Peter, pass it on! #StarkOnIce

.

That was both hot and adorable. These lovestruck dorks are everything.

.

We stan #Starker, let's get this trending folks!

Tony can’t quite believe it. He knew this would happen no matter how good or bad their performance. This tops everything though.

"So Tony, now tell us everything. How long have you two been dating?" Beck jests and barks out a laugh. Tony sniffs, tilting his head. He's not sure if he likes the direction of this conversation but he knows he has to play along. This is still entertainment after all. "I have yet to ask him on a first date, Quentin," he says jokingly and leans in as if to be secretive. "Should I opt for roses or gardenias?" The audience laughs out loud, and Tony grins- glad he made the right call. He nudges Peter next to him, trying to ease the kid's apparent nerves. He gets it. Peter is used to the spotlights while performing. Never outside of the rink. "I wish I knew, Stark, I wish I knew," Beck retorts. "On a more serious note-" The projector screen turns dark. "-that was quite a routine for a first-time figure skater. What's your secret?"

Tony just stares at Peter for a second. It's not even on purpose, and he doesn't realize he's doing it until the crowd breaks into loud cheering once more. He presses his lips together. He knew that asking for a male partner would… Provoke a reaction. This is a bit more than he expected. Before either of them have a chance to respond, Beck continues. “Alright, time to call for our next contestants, our favorite Olympics archery champion Clint Barton and his lovely partner Michelle! Give it up for Tony Stark and Peter once more!"

-

Tony sucks his lower lip into his mouth as he slides into a basic forward twizzle. Steve is standing at the side of the rink and Tony can feel the man staring at him. God. He shouldn’t overthink this. Focus. He turns towards Peter as together, they shift into backward strokes.

I can feel your heartbeat I can feel your heartbeat

Tony mumbles along to the lyrics as they speed up and squat down. Their fingers intertwined- gripping each other strongly. Tony almost wants to blurt out a lousy joke about being able to feel everything but Peter’s heartbeat. He decides against it in the end. He’d probably laugh and trip again. His already sore hip wouldn’t be too happy about it. "Alright Tony, keep focusing on pressing your heels down, we don't want your toe picks to dig into the ice. Pete- go a little slower so he gets a good feel for it," Steve shouts from outside the rink. Tony sniffs and presses his lips together, trying to get it right. There's not much time left where the music continues.

Maybe it's the way you move, You got me dreaming like a fool. That I could steal your heart away, I could steal your heart away.

Mohawk. Three-turn. Crossovers and- Tony gasps as he nearly loses his balance and grasps on Peter's puffer vest. Peter rushes to steady him. He brings them both to a halt and smiles encouragingly at Tony.  "That was good, Tony. I-" "I nearly fell. Again ." "You’re tired, Tony. You really nailed that mohawk though!”

In the background, the song is still playing, but Peter shakes his head slightly when Tony eyes the ice.  "Enough for today." He turns around to Steve. "We're done for today, Steve." Their coach nods. "You've made great progress onto the choreo. It's the details, really. And we still have two days until the second live show." Steve says as they skate toward him to get out of the rink. "You should hop in the sauna. Helps the muscles relax."  "I've never had someone prescribe me a sauna before." "All the more reason to listen. Right?" With a gentle pat on Tony’s shoulder, Steve stalks off.

-

Tony grunts when the heat envelopes his naked body. The scent of sandalwood filling his nostrils. He feels his taut muscles loosen up immediately. God. Does that feel good. He's pretty sure his many saunas at home don't feel this good. He puts his towel down onto the wooden benches and lays down on it, closing his eyes. Awkwardly, Peter follows behind him.  "I envy you, Peter," Tony mumbles and listens how the boy shuffles around and climbs onto the benches. "W-why?" "You get to do this. Every single day. Your career path…" Tony's voice trails of, not liking how his chest seems to restrict all of a sudden. "It seems so free." "You know it's not, right? It's hard work, it's… It's a big commitment. Everyone is counting on you. You have to be at your pique. Tiptop shape. Every single day. I can't drink. Or smoke. Well, I could cause I'm not going for the Olympics- but it'd be a bad influence on my overall performance. Even when you feel sick, you have to appear and act as if you've never been happier. Don't get me wrong, I fucking love my job. But it's not that glamourous." "Mmmh, sounds like the life of a CEO." Tony sighs. "Minus the drinking." Peter chuckles. "Not so different then." "Nope."

"I eh, I've meant to ask you something," Peter whispers after a few seconds of silence. Tony opens his eyes and props himself up onto his elbows. Looking at Peter and trying not to look at him. Peter… Is rather good-looking. His athletic body ripped and smooth and- Nope. Nope, not going there.  "Ask away, kid." "Why… Why did you ask to dance with a dude?" Tony presses his lips together and sucks at his teeth, huffing out some air.  "Honestly?" "Yeah." "I didn't want to dance at all. Figured a gay remark would brush them off." There. That's it. It's silent. Then, Peter breaks out into a laughing fit. His cute little giggles making Tony's heart flutter in his chest in a way he didn't quite see coming, and it's terrifying. "Oh God, Mr. Stark, that is genius ."  "Mmmh, it didn't quite work, and now here I am." Tony lays back down again, staring at the ceiling. "It's not as bad as I expected. I think I really like figure skating." "I'm glad. And for what it's worth, I'm very grateful for finally having an opportunity to pair with a male partner. MJ is the sweetest and I would never trade her for anyone else… But she's not a man." 

It's a confession. Peter Parker is gay. Tony sighs and decides to sit up. Crossing his legs and folding his hands in his lap. He stares at the kid laying a few feet away.  "I-I hope you don't mind," Peter whispers, chuckling anxiously. Tony is quick to shake his head.  "No, kid. I don't mind at all. I'm… I'm not into women either." "Oh? Really? But... W-what about your ex-wife?" "There's a simple reason that she is exactly that, Pete. I loved her as a friend. A sister, maybe. When I first had a crush on a man, I knew that what I felt for her had deceived me all this time." Peter just nods at him, processing the information. They don't speak after that and simply enjoy the warmth of the sauna, making them sweat and relax. It's clear they've grown a little closer. Bonded. Tony knows that this kid is gonna be something different. The older man has a hard time getting close to people. Something about Peter feels so… Comforting and open. Like home.

-

Maybe it's the way you move, You got me dreaming like a fool. That I could steal your heart away, I could steal your heart away.

Tony takes a deep breath in and out. The loud music blaring- nearly vibrating through him. The flashing of the spotlights creating strange shadows on the ice. This is the part where he falls more often than not. They've practiced it over and over again, except for yesterday. Peter had sternly told him off.

"You better give your body some rest today, you'll see it makes a difference at the actual show tomorrow."

Mohawk. Three-turn. Crossovers… Tony's lips are pressed together, feeling how his body stiffens in anticipation for yet another fall. The fear of falling in front of the entire United States nearly paralyzing him. But Peter squeezes his hand, and Tony looks up, staring into his eyes. Peter mouths along to the lyrics, and it tugs at Tony's heart- oh God. Had Peter always looked this captivating? His curls bouncing on the air as they speed forward.

No matter what it is you think I'm not the kind of girl to blink And give my heart away Stop tryin' steal my heart away

Before Tony realizes it's over, they've passed the crossovers and a rush of adrenaline courses through his veins. His lips break into a wide smile. He lets go of Peter's hand, and together they speed up, turn around. Tony bends his right knee and extends his left leg backward. He presses his toe pick into the ice and jumps up, arms close to his chest, and huffs a surprised breath when he feels how smooth it goes. When gravity pulls his body down and lands on the ice, he bends his right leg again to counter the landing and smiles, gliding backward rather effortlessly. The audience goes absolutely wild at his performed toe loop. 

When the music slows down a little, so does Tony. Both his skates flat on the ice. No strokes, nothing. The speed dies down, and slowly, Peter and he slide closer together. Reaching out with one hand, straining to touch Peter's. Their fingers touch- curl into one another and they twirl around one another.

I don't know where we're going I don't know who we are

They're staring at the other. Peter's eyes are big and wide and so incredibly gorgeous. Tony's breathing picks up. Not from the exercise, no. Peter reaches forward, touching Tony's chest. As choreographed, Tony grabs Peter's hand and presses it even closer into his body. 

I can feel your heartbeat He said to me I can feel your heartbeat He said to me I can feel your heartbeat Running through me

Tony forces himself to let go of Peter then and they both turn around. Their backs together for a split second before they both break out into a series of forward strokes again- separating. When Tony reaches the top end of the rink, another mohawk and he licks his lips when he sees Peter doing the same thing at the other end of the rink.

Stop stealing my heart away Give it to me boy

It's at this moment that Tony realizes that he's actually falling for the kid. Hard. So hard and oh God he really, really shouldn't. The show must go on, though. Twizzle. Upright spin. Another twizzle. Grabbing Peter's hands to set off for a camel spin, just as in their first choreo. Peter's strong but smaller body is so close. So graceful. Tony feels dizzy in such a good way that he wonders how on earth he didn't see these feelings coming before they decided to crash down on him. Slowly, Peter comes back upright and they slow down. Tony's arms wrap around Peter from behind. One hand on his waist, the other on Peter's chest. Their necks are crooked so they can look at each other. Panting heavily. Caught in the other’s gaze. Mere inches away. He can feel Peter’s heartbeat thrumming fast underneath his fingertips.

Your heartbeat.

---

Next Chapter: 3: 7 A.M. 

[aimerriarkle]

okay episode six of tfatws

just my thoughts throughout :)

sam <3 sam <3

sam you caring, empathetic, intelligent, handsome mf

also. the show just laid out a whole entire episode, blatantly showing us how fucking perfect sam wilson is for captain america... so stop saying it should be bucky or that it should be any other white man

it is lost on me how some people would still think that way after this

now back to the program... SAM <3

a hero if I’ve ever seen one

things he did here: encouraged a woc to step up and save the helicopter; saved the pilot from getting killed by the other crashing helicopter—and saved anyone else near them from being harmed because physics will tell you it wouldn’t only be the pilot who got hurt by the impact; came to the rescue at the very last minute and saved the truck from falling; chose to not fight karli—like at all; brought her to the medics after she died; and he unapologetically stood up to the politicians about what exactly they’ve been doing wrong

and i really wanna highlight how that scene was written to take place in front of the public and be broadcasted in the news

like I’m glad it happened that way because it gave sam the opportunity to make his introduction as the new captain america to be someone who stands for and with the marginalized communities

I think doing it that way will definitely negate the possible distrust a lot of people would have had if he was introduced (to the public) as a hero who worked for the government or even if he was just merely introduced by the government

like it really emphasizes how in the public eye, sam as captain america will be seen as someone who is more than the typical heroic figures they’ve seen before

and idk maybe I’m jumping to conclusions but I think this’ll *maybe* be important to how civilians will see the avengers in the future? maybe? idk? but yeah

anyway his fit!!! the wings and the shield!!! idk much about storytelling through fight choreography but this man used the shield and the wings very well

redwing’s back 🥺

sam getting isaiah the recognition he deserves !!!!!!

im really looking forward to seeing how they’re going to introduce eli bradley as a hero in the mcu (I don’t read the comics so idk what happens)

we got like 0.5 seconds torres but I’m excited to see how marvel introduces him as the new falcon as well

zemo’s butler is his hitman wow, the job must pay well. and look at that old mf go

sharon :) now that’s a villain origin story. you guys better say sorry to her before she comes and kills you as the powerbroker—cue criminal by britney spears “but mama I’m in love with a criminal”

so remember episode 3? if zemo hadn’t killed nagel, then he would’ve definitely recognized sharon right? so what was home girl thinking when she strolled into nagel’s lab, trying to get the trio to leave... like surely he would’ve called her out to be the powerbroker then and there right?

I’m excited to see where she appears next cause theres a lot of explaining to do ms sharon carter

okay i wasn’t even gonna talk about john walker because—yikes. but here it is anyway. i didnt like that they made him out to still have morals because he chose to save the van instead of continuing his pursuit on the flag smashers. I mean yeah it’s great that he attempted at saving them because people change(?) or whatever but he’s still sus because he’s working with valentina—whose intentions are still ambiguous... point is, while I think that it’s a great way to make his character more complicated and have more layers in the situation where they decide to bring him further into the mcu, imo it’ll worsen the john walker empathizers because they have something “good” to say about him

okay back to sharon, so it’s unclear to me whether she was pardoned because sam helped her or because of the fact that she killed karli. if it’s actually the latter then,,, that itches me. like it only shows that the senator didn’t listen to sam and only continued to antagonize karli to the point where he pardoned her killer, instead of trying to understand where she was coming from when sam confronted him about it

is karli really dead? I know she got shot but where? and if it’s just in the stomach, she should been fine right because she’s a super soldier? Idk but ig the storyline is over... unless

anyway, bucky when he got thanked for saving them from the truck on fire :’(

bucky with kids

i overlooked this in the last episode because it happened there as well, but bucky letting his metal arm be exposed in sam’s hometown is just :’)... like tell me you feel at home without telling me you feel at home :(

bucky finally giving yori closure on his sons death

also, I know it’s just a bodily reaction or whatever, but the way that bucky’s eyes dilated when he watched sam confront the politicians

(28:52)

(29:59)

it’s very minimal, but it’s there

okay I don’t know if this happened in an earlier scene, but at 09:46 the when subtitles said “[captain america grunts]” I was like HELL YEAH CAPTAIN AMERICA DID GRUNT!! YES HE DID INDEED GRUNT 👏👏👏

sam taking pictures with people from his hometown because he’s now officially a hero they can rely on 😭

:’) captain america <3

at the end credits when it said “captain america and the winter soldier” I just <3

also, i’ve seen some fans be disappointed that it didn’t say captain america and the white wolf and tbh I’m glad it did not say that

while i do love bucky as well and appreciate that his character was supposed to put the winter soldier behind him because it’s not who he is anymore and just make amends with the people that he hurt,

i think it would’ve been too premature to have him be introduced as the white wolf, especially since he only finished crossing out the names just this episode—and I think it would’ve been too random like I don’t see how the writers could’ve slipped that in, in an episode as packed as this one was to have a significant impact on the audience and the character

and not to mention, I definitely think that him being introduced as the white wolf in tandem to sam being introduced as captain america, would’ve taken away from sam’s moment.

like it’s not news that most of the fans who loveee bucky will literally fall on their knees and worship to extremes every little thing that happens to him. and like I understand that, i get it, but his fans would have—for sure—taken the moment away from our boy sam wilson, the ✨captain america✨

I think bucky’s official introduction as the white wolf warrants another story to be told

so it’s valid to be upset by that, I’m not hating on any bucky stans or anything. I simply disagree and hope that you guys don’t complain about it too much to the point where it takes away from sam lol

and honestly, it’ll come eventually anyway so yeah

the ending where sam and bucky just look off into the sunset made me cackle idk why but it’s great they finally get to have a serene moment together

I’m so proud of anthony!!! I can’t wait to see how sam/captain america continues on in the mcu

anyway, give it up for captain america and the winter soldier 👏

and I have the sudden urge to go sight seeing

so brb I’m gonna book a flight to paris and see the eiffel tower

[keepcalm-andbopon]

Introducing us!!

Isabelle: @swiftie-isabelle

I’m Isabelle and I’m turning 14th in June 27! I would die for Taylor swift. I started listening to her when I was 3 and her music had comforted me ever since! She has had such a impact in my life and I’ve gotten so many amazing memories from her!

Victoria: @sinkanddroundswift

im victoria & i do nothing w my life except cry over taylor swift and not having a boyfriend . I do nothing ever except lay in bed and cry over every little detail. I eat too much food for my body. I like boys alot but they don’t like me. taylor swift claims she loves me multiple times but idk if I believe her yet. I love my cat shes a scottish fold. Beverly Hills, 90210 is my favorite tv show & High School Musical is my favorite movie. I also love grayson dolan more than I can comprehend. I have 0 friends so its me, myself, and I all the time.

Lily: @lilyadorestay

im lily and i do nothing with my life except cry over taylor swift, have people tell me to stop crying about taylor swift, and waste money on bucket hats :)

Sasha: @dropsmynamesasha

I’m sasha and I have a large obsession with food, cats and Taylor Swift

Katelyn: @redheadnamedkatelyn

I’m Katelyn and I’m 13! I don’t do anything in my life except for lacrosse and cheer and love Taylor swift. I have red hair, & Taylor Swift is my absolute best friend and my life wouldn’t be the same without her. And I owe so much to her. And basically I’m known as “the Taylor swift girl” at school so that’s kinda cool. Anyways The moral of this is I love Taylor swift!

Lexie: @drunkonswiftxo

I’m lexie, 18 years old. I have a very busy life actually, I compete in many different karate and martial arts competitions and was British Champion in 2016 with my sword and in October of this year I am competing in the World Martial Arts Games! Before any competition I usually get very nervous but listening to Taylor’s music calms me down (cringe ikr) but I wouldn’t be doing all of these if I didnt have a calming mechanism!

Natalia: @natalialovestaylor

hi! i’m natalia, i’m 15 and from the bay area. taylor has been in my life since i was 8 and i’ve been supporting her ever sense:) she makes me so happy, she’s like the sunlight in my life. i want her to know that i love her so much and i want to hug her and tell her thank you more than anything. 💗

Katie: @shapeofyouswift

hi i’m katie and i’m 16! i’m from ny and i went to all 3 metlife shows!! i’ve been seeing taylor in concert since the fearless era and i’ve seen her 11 times! i’m fortune to have met her 5 years ago at GMA and i was able to get a picture with her outside time 100 gala! taylor makes me so happy and has helped me through many rough times in my life as well as all of the happiest! i’m so thankful to have such a positive role model in my life!!

Meredith:

I’m Meredith and I love Taylor Swift more than words can describe:) I’ve been listening to Taylor since I was four and she has always been a big part of my life since then !! She inspires me everyday and makes my life so much brighter. I am so so proud of her and all that she has done!! Also, I love going to the beach and petting dogs🤩💓

Memphis: @taysmidnights

hi i’m memphis!! i play tennis and obsess over taylor swift! i’m from the beautiful state of california, and i love to surf! i first heard a ts song (You Belong With Me) in 2009, and i’ve loved taylor ever since. i am also a proud supporter of the LGBTQ+ community and have a passion for changing our world. oh, and i’m known as “that taylor swift fan” at my school, but i’m not complaining! 🧚🏼‍♀️

Brooke: @brookewhatyoumademedo

i’m brooke and i’m 14!! i live in cleveland, ohio along with some of my best friends i met through taylor!! i look a lot older than i am and it’s a good and bad thing haha. i used to play a lot of sports but i have decided to just stick with lacrosse!! i love music so much because it helps me with everything. taylor has been like my big sister since i was a baby and i’ve always looked up to her!! my stan song is stay stay stay because it always puts me in the best mood!! i love grey’s anatomy a little too much but i can’t help it. the show actually made me very interested in the medical field and as of now i want to be a pediatric neurosurgeon!! i also love volunteering and helping out my community as much as possible! and i like school which is kind of not something freshman say a lot haha. and that’s me!☀️🌸🦋💘💋

Paige: @taylorswift-paige

Hey! I’m Paige & I’m 21 (soon to be 22 😍). I live in Australia and I’ve been listening to Taylor since I was 9. The first time I saw Taylor perform live was at Speak Now and I was completely blown away, since then I’ve been lucky enough to see her perform 6 times. I’m so grateful that little me decided to listen to Taylor as I don’t know where I would be without her lyrics, music, and advice to guide me through life. Thankyou for everything Taylor, I love you so much and I’m so excited for the Lover era 💗😘

Skylar: @skylarswiftie13

Hey I’m Skylar and I’m 15!! I have been loving Taylor ever since I was 5 and I have (obviously) not stopped since. Other than obsessing over Taylor I loveee to run and watch friends and greys !! I have seen Taylor at the 1989 tour Detroit and Rep Detroit and they were hands down the BEST nights of my life and I def cried a TON hahah. I plan on going to Nash and either Chicago or Detroit for next tour! I absolutely cannot wait until the day that I get to wrap my arms around Taylor and thank her for everything she has done for me ahhh. I love you forever and always Taylor!! 🥰❤️🌈🦋✨☀️

@singitswiftie

Hi Taylor I’m ella and I’m turning 17 in August 12th! IM SO EXCITED FOR THE NEW ALBUM! I just can wait to sing along to all of the songs🥰🥰 you are my absolute favorite human and you helped me with your songs! clean means THE WHOLE ENTIRE WORLD to me and I just relate to it on a personal level. Thank you for supporting lgbtqia+ always! YOU DESERVE THE WHOLE ENTIRE WORLD

Makayla @comebackbbehere

Hey T I’m Makayla!! I’m 13 and I’ve loved you since 2009!! My stan song is Come Back... Be Here not only because it’s amazing but because it has helped me through so so so SO much. It’s amazing how you can, with just a song, literally save someone’s life from spiraling downhill. So thank you. Thank you also, for inspiring so many people. Including me! You have inspired me to sing and write songs and songwriting is now a way I have learned to express myself and a way to help me get through the hard times. You have also inspired me to be more of an activist and speak up for what I believe in. If it weren’t for you, I wouldn’t be a proud feminist or be as educated about the LGBTQ+ community!! In conclusion, thank you SO SO SO much for everything you do and just being the beautiful, amazing, inspiring person you are. I love you more than words can express and I can’t wait for August 23rd!!! ps: I really hope we can hug someday 💗

Bessie: @flyawayswift

Hey !! I’m Bessie, I’m 17 and I’m from the UK 🇬🇧!! I love to do Ballet and Tap dancing, but when it comes to Taylor’s music it’s generally just me doing crazy dad-dancing because I cannot stay calm during her songs. There’s aren’t many words which can sum up accurately how much I love Taylor or how grateful I am to have her in my life, but I love her to the moon and back 💛 I’ve been a swiftie for nearly 5 years, and have loved her music since I was 11. I’ve grown up with her as the big sister I never had, and my biggest dream EVER is to give her the biggest hug hehehe 💛💛

ana: @taysfavourite

hey!! i’m ana and i’m 14, i’m from the uk!! i love taylor (ofc) and i do gymnastics, i also love dance and stuff like that!! i am so thankful for taylor bringing me to some of my best friends!! (i’m always open for new friends btw) and yeah i love taylor!so!much! 💋💋💋

alex: @delicateswiftiez137

hi guys! i’m alex and i’m 14 years old. I live in illinois, and i’ve been a fan of taylor ever since I first heard love story and yblwm on the radio as a kid! my stan song is fearless because I love the message it portrays, but recently i’ve been OBESSED with the whole 1989 album because it’s a literal masterpiece! besides taylor related things, one hobby of mine is swimming! i’ve been a swimmer since I was about 2 years old! anyways, I hope you all have the best day! 🧁🌸🦋💗💋

Edith: @twinfiresignsswift

Hi, my name is Edith and I’m a 15 yr old from California! Anything related to cats is my ideal thing. I’m currently the mother of a tabby cat named Jagger who is very shy, grumpy, and introverted just like me, so the two of us get along very well 🥳 both of us are def party poopers. Anyway I enjoy art, especially watercolor! Initially I wanted to become an artist when I grew up, but I realized I would be poor asf, so now I want to major in biology and become some type of zoologist because animals are the best. In 2014, 5th grader me became obsessed with Blank Space and my life immediately changed from that day on. My favorite album is Speak Now because of how magical and well written it is. My 1 brain cell could never manage to write a whole masterpiece like that all by myself. And my stan song is You Are in Love!! It makes my heart go 💕💗💓 I am so incredibly grateful that I got to see Taylor for the first time ever on rep Pasadena night 1. It was the best day of my life :,) I know so many others do not have the same opportunities; I know how they feel, so I try to stay as humble as I can. I would be such a boring and sad person without Taylor and her amazing lyrics. She is such an amazing role model. Thank you for always being there for me, I will love you forever and always, and I am so excited to see what you have in stock❤️

Jess: @jessheartstaylor

hey!! I’m Jess and I’m 14, from the UK!! My stan song is begin again, I love it so much!! IM SO EXCITED FOR LOVER! I can’t wait to see what Taylor has in store for us!! I’m so thankful for Taylor as she’s such an incredible role model and idol to me, her music always cheers me up and she never fails to make me smile!! I love her so much- forever and always!! 💕💞💓💗💖💝

jordan: @fairytaleswift

hey taylor!! the thought of you scrolling all the way down and reading this right now is insane... all of us girls love you with everything inside of us. I have been supporting you for lucky number 13 years!!! I’ve been with you since 2006! I have been to Speak Now, Red, 1989 and Rep! I am so excited for Lover! It has been an honor watching you grow and become the amazing and strong woman you are today. I love you so much taylor... I hope we get to hug soon! 💗🌥🍭🦄🌩🌸🌈💐🦋💗💓🥰💅🏻🌥

Ravae: @vaelovestaytayswift

Hey I’m Ravae!! I’ve loved Taylor for as long as I can remember my sister has listened to her forever so I grew up listening to her!! Taylor inspires me everyday to be a better person and she’s a great role model. Her music helps me through the really rough times but also puts me in a better mood through the good times! I hope to meet you one day! Love you Tay🦋💞🌈💘🥺

Gracie: @inredlipsticks

Hey, Taylor! I’m Gracie and I’m 20 as of June 22nd. I’ve loved you since debut and my favorite album of all time is Fearless. I’ve been fortunate enough to see you four times and hopefully more on the lover tour 💗 along with Taylor, I also love Selena Gomez, Disney, and dogs!! 💗🦋🌸 The four most important things in my life.

Ella: @ellalovesswift

Hey! My name is Ella and I’m 17 years old. I’ve loved Taylor ever since the day my dad thought I needed my own music instead of just listening to his, this was when I was just seven years old and my dad bought me the fearless album and I fell in love with Love Story!! Ever since then I’ve never stopped loving Taylor! Other than her music, I’ve grown up with Taylor and every day she has inspired me to be a better person! My favourite songs are enchanted, better than revenge and dress! I’ve been to the red and reputation tours in Melbourne! Other than Taylor I am a swimmer. I swim a lot and it’s been a part of my life since before Taylor! I hope one day I can hug her and tell her how much she’s impacted my life! I will always stay, love you Tay 💗🦋💓🌸

bri: @briadorestay

hi t! my name is bri and i am 13 (turning 14 on august 19th) i have loved you since i was 5 years old and my stan songs are the archer, ciwyw, and you are in love. the soft songs🥺🥺 i love you so much and i hope you never stop doing what you’re doing because you are so inspiring!! i love u so much buddy! see you one day?🧚‍♀️☁️🌸💘🥺💗⭐️🕊

[rqs902]

.

IS THAT WHO I THINK IT IS 

ITS MY BOY ENYU!!!! ON THE FRONT PAGE???? okay also a big deal for zhaohao and li hao too!!!

ok now into part 2 of the ep

interesting that they focused on junhao for everybody. can understand he probably has the most different and struggle experience so probably more interesting for dramas sake lol im surprised they dont spend more time on shengen, considering his popularity. 

HAHAHAHAHHAHAHAA JUNHAO FREAKING OUT over the fact that they only learned the dance for 40 mins. LOL thats the level of tyger + kou cong + shengen, i can imagine the struggle of the yang guang nan hai group in comparison AHAHA i just imagine him running down the hall freaking out like HOW DID THEY LEARN THE DANCE IN JUST ONE CLASS WHAT ARE THESE PEOPLE 

lollll “theyre all dachang boys” “theyre all zhang yixing’s students” HAHAHAH you know even though he is slightly struggling compared to the rest, he aint bad and theyre all taking it light hearted with laughter so seems like a good learning environment! and he’s confident he’ll get it LOL thats good! i think thats what makes him so amusing 

HAHAHA i love how lin mo just keeps giggling at junhao like he genuinely just finds him so amusing LOL yay for making new friends 

awww bc junhao’s always been a leader i feel like for him to finally feel like hes being taken care of is so nice. i have absolute confidence that this group will treat him kindly. AW HE CALLED HIM MOMO 

im still disappointed they have YET to show zhan yu’s funny/strange personality and this wouldve been a great opportunity bc hes surrounded by friends he’s comfortable with!! like his friendship with kou cong! or akey and lin mo! but sigh...

THEY PUT ZHAN YU IN THE FRONT FOR THE SEXUAL LINE HAHAHHA PERFECT BUT I SEE LIN MO BEING ONE OF THE ONLY ONES NOT SHOWING HIS ABS HAHAHAHAHHAHAHAA

wow the lyrics are so fitting for lin mo to scream LOL but also ay his vocals?! aw im glad they put in a little rap for shengen and akey! honestly was kinda hoping for more bc they havent had a proper stage together before and i feel like itd be awesome but also junhao and zhan yu vocalization at the end was on point!!

lol all the kids being like zhang pd’s words are so detailed and professional... sigh theyve been missing out until now 

im glad they really pointed out how each member of this team did well! they really all did a great job with each of their parts, and they each got a little part to shine, and when put together, it was a complete performance. im proud of them and happy for them!

aw.... i feel like we’ve been waiting so long to hear lin mo get complimented.... i feel like it’s been since qcyn namanana that we’ve been waiting for him to redeem himself and climb back up to the peak. ugh its been nearly a year and a half. im just so terrified of whats gonna happen next bc im way too skeptical at this point to expect this high to continue, esp with what happened after namanana last time......... but for now, im happy. relieved hes finally getting the recognition he deserves and im happy that hes happy. lol i was also half scared we were gonna get spirit of the knight-ed again with his pink hair (nightmare flashbacks to lin mo and changxi’s deletion from that perf) i dont think ill ever get over that :( i feel like as a lin mo stan, ive been trained to not keep my hopes up and to prepare for the worst bc hes the type of person who just always gets the short end of the stick, it feels like. 

aw the part when they go back to the waiting room and jin fan is waiting for them with an encouraging smile and the whole exchange of "帥的真的帥的" "哇~可以吧" "我沒想到" "那必須的" our leader did them proud :’) 

ugh the part where luo jie calls them and tells them he can’t come back........ heart breaking. i can see why lin ran and xikan would be really affected. lin ran has been luo jie’s go-to since he left and knowing how their usual friendship involves making fun of one another and jokingly complaining about each other, it hits hard when lin ran says he cried his eyes out. it hurts that they didnt get to share the stage again before he left. xikan may not have shared the stage with luo jie during ip, but hes known him since then and has been with him through both rounds here. it interesting bc i feel like the namanana perf was very light hearted on qcyn but i cant see that happening here, esp with their outfits? 

aw shiwei and chaowen taking charge to raise their spirits :’) 

lin ran’s voice fits so well with this song wow! i really like his lines! also lol i didnt know xikan would have abs but okay and tbh im always hesitant about dances with props bc it always is so easy to look messy..... like every slight difference in angle in the way you hold your arms is immediately magnified 

and like sxl’s fan is obviously broken and having performed fan dances myself i know that that’s like the most annoying thing to happen on stage, and can be really difficult to deal with, even tho it happens ALL THE TIME with those types of fans ugh :( 

i mean its super kind of them to leave luo jie’s space empty for him, but its kinda weird to have parts of the audio missing sadly :( and also chaowen’s voice did something weird in the middle there, like its sounds weirdly weak 

wait didnt yixing tell them to close the fan? but they didnt? 

xikan’s facial expressions are perfecttt, good for him! wish they gave more screen time to shiwei during shiwei’s lines lol... but also i cant help but hear lin mo’s voice during that part LOL ugh speaking of which i miss that team dynamic namanana team a on qcyn HAHAHAH hwx being a brat and fjj running around wild and lin mo giving up on them all just laughing like idiots for hours on end while bo yuan just judges them from a corner LOL i love the beginning of the wenxuan and lin mo friendship good times :’)  

HAHAH ENYU AGAIN WITH THE REALEST COMMENTS - i agree AHHAHAH i love these kids too but there was something off about this stage 

im surprised but also not surprised by what the judges are saying 

o didnt realize sxl was supposed to be center but i guess that explains the big puffy thing on his shoulder lol.......... agree with cx tho, even without his broken fan, i think the fans made them look worse bc it just looked messy 

well idk if we’re getting all the stages today but at least jin fan’s is also getting aired! TYGER HUG FOR JIN FAN YESS

jin fan teaching them dance? yes thank you for showing us he is a good dancer. oof jin fan’s just too nice :( hes trying to avoid conflict too much that it caused conflict smh......... lol oscar trying to talk to su er hes having such struggle i feel that bro LOL hes doing really well though, tbh being relatively young, hes really trying his best and is being reasonable. 

LOL HE CALLED HIM JIN FAN GE i forgot jin fan is considered old lol..... jin fan really taking the higher road here and im glad they sat together and talked it out a bit

THE JIN FAN VOICE YESSSS hahahhaha kou cong holding the tyger sign!!

oo is that some of his bel canto-style singing coming through LOL 

AY NICE for hong weihao and oscar to put in some rap 

some of those high notes were a bit questionable at the end but okay jin fan is really claiming that vocal + dance teacher role i see.... interesting 

but agree with yixing that he doesnt need to force himself to do high notes bc his voice is so nice regardless!! yay for oscar getting recognition! im still waiting for jin fan to do a cool dance performance sigh

wasnt expecting an enyu feature BUT ILL TAKE IT 

oof huang enyu saying hes really trying to put himself out there by going for leader and the realest comment that he hasnt considered getting to debut he just wants to pass this round oof and he feels like his opportunities may be cut short bc hes getting old oof

enyu and chenxu crying watching the movie 

AW THEIR HAHA VIDEOS ARE THE CUTEST THING I LOVE THESE KIDSSS so sad that so many of them are at risk of elimination :(  im glad these vocals made their own friend group! I hope itll be a memory they carry forward. they do all have shared experiences as vocals on this show. 

this reaction to junrong’s voice

same tho :’) but actually all of their voices are so so nice like actually these 5 are all people whose voices ive really listened for on this show, but wow renyu’s voice in particular like really ugh just sounds so pure 

also enyu looks really nice in this performance but thats a side note okay moving on

i mean literally these reactions

and li hao crying while singing and so many kids in the waiting room crying while watching OOF this perf has got me emotional 

HAHAHHAHA THEIR INTROS HAHAHHA

UGH ENYU his plea just.... the way he yelled it bc it mustve taken courage and it mustve been a frustration on his mind for a while now and bc maybe he wouldve broken down if he hadnt yelled it out but im really crying now.... and its so out of character for him that you know he really really is feeling desperate and feels the need to speak out

lol wait gjm posted on weibo about him? is that why hes getting more attention lol..........

i really hope the vocals win :( 

no tygers in the next ep preview? hmmMMMMMmm okay 

well also interesting that they put the other 4 perfs with the elims...... seems sketch but at least most of my kids got to go this week ahhhhhh i feel bad for the other groups already. esp the ones with the kids who arent as popular... 

[kim-lexie]

may favorites.

only two months late, i’m doing a little better. huh...

music.

‘vibe’ by 1TEAM. so remember when i said i was done with boy groups...well have you heard of 1TEAM. these boys are seriously the cutest, just look at them! and i love the vibe of this title track (pun intended). seriously it’s a jam and i would 10 out of 10 recommend listening to the b-side tracks as well! i appreciate that all the tracks have their own unique style, ‘countdown’ goes hard and is a great juxtaposition to the title track. i will definitely be keeping a eye out for these boys. (also they are very active on instagram and i appreciate that!)

take off - the 1st mini album by wayV. finally the comeback we all deserve. this shall have it’s own post because seriously it deserves its own post. i am still processing the music video. like seriously as a winwin stan i have a lot to process. all the tracks are perfection! ‘let me love u’ makes me weep with all their sweet vocals. ‘say it’ honestly terrified me with the first 5 seconds reminding me of some slytherin ring tone. it’s such a great track! its dynamic and that build of the track, it’s great and that ‘oh na na na’. 11 out of 10 would recommend the album and the mv!

WE ARE SUPERHUMAN - the 4th mini album by NCT127. so NCT has been ruling my time and energy ever since i had the opportunity to see them live (let’s be real they ruled my time prior hahaha). ‘highway to heaven’ is my jam and ill be that person to say it can rule as a title track. i loved the music video it’s simple, classic, and a vibe. i love these boys and every single song on the EP is a bop! i love these talented men, and seriously they never disappoint. i just have one question, do they have time to sleep?!?! like seriously, they’ve released the EP, have completed comeback stages, concerts, traveled north america. like what the even?! they deserve some sleep after all they have served us over the past two months!

i’m the one by MXM. i have no idea where i first heard this song! but it is seriously a bop and i am obsessed with this track. it is light, fresh, and everything you need in a summer jam.

i remember: this mashup iconic!

her private life OSTs. seriously these tracks have been on repeat. thanks to this drama i was introduced to IN2IT again, and i have had ‘it’s u’ on repeat. also introduced to ONE, and ‘heyahe’ is a vibe. it was so unexpected to see that he was a rapper, to be honest i would have pegged him for a vocalist with his sweet face. ‘smile again’ by RUNY. like dang this is a bop and jam, i love listening to it just chilling at home cleaning. it’s great! ‘maybe’ by lee hae ri makes me weep, but in a good way. it’s just iconic and her vocals are beautiful. 

dramas & movies. *spoilers alert*

a werewolf boy. this was a rewatch with my friends. we were struggling to pick a movie to watch and we decided upon this classic. everyone really enjoyed it, and i am glad they were able to see park bo-young as a young actress, because they just finished watching ‘strong woman do bong soon’.

swing kids. this one i watched while on a plane ride! it is seriously not what i expected, it was a historical film that took place in a pow camp. it was a lot to process, and probably wasn't a great idea to watch on a plane with hundred other people, because i ended up weeping like a baby. but all is well and the film was incredible. i wanted a happy ending but about five minutes in i realized whatever was coming my way was probably going to be at best bittersweet. i would recommend watching this one, it was a spectacular film that touched upon various issues, and hardships that many people faced at the end of the war. kyungsoo is the reason i have been keeping an out for this film, but it was an incredible film in it’s own right, and i’m not just saying that because my bias of EXO was a part of the film. the cast as a whole did a wonderful job conveying the struggles and emotions felt. i would 10 out of 10 recommend.

side note: i just heard word that our boy kyungsoo will be off for military enlistment in july. what a great way to end the month, thank you to sm for the super last minute notification. it’s fine no emotional breakdowns were had here TT. i just hope that he stays healthy and does his best. i will be patiently awaiting his return. 

her private life. this one. y’all this drama. seriously insert *slow clap and standing ovation*. i loved everything about this drama our main leads stayed my existance with their story. our boy ONE burst out a new bias and someone who needs to release more music, like please and thank you (still waiting for a random OST to appear). i love me a classic drama with flashbacks to childhood, and friendships that are unexpected. i loved how he found her fan-girl side endearing, and i desperately need that in my life. and hello, ryan gold is extremely dreamy and we all need a ‘lion’ in our life, am i right?! i would recommend it 9.5 out of 10!

my only complaint is that i wish that shi-an found out that deok-mi was his fansite. that would have been the most precious moment of the whole show i can guarantee that!

he is psychometric. of course i had to watch this one, our jin-young made his official male lead debut. it was really good, and kinda dark, lots of mystery. i appreciate a good drama that ties in long lost childhood memories, that reconnect our otp. it was pretty great, and i did not expect his hyung to have committed the horrible act that he did. very unexpected and wrecked my heart because *heart eyes* and i wanted him to be a good guy. i would recommend it 8 out of 10. 

radio romance. this was a super cute one, and a kind of ‘oh i have no other dramas to watch since i am watching all live dramas’ kind of pick. but oh how thankful i am to have stumbled upon this gem. the main actor was also in ‘splash splash’ love and i am falling more in love with him like seriously. i appreciated the flash backs as always a classic, they knew each other as children story. i love how she really became an oasis for him to get to know himself and grow as an individual to find his own voice. it was a good one, i would recommend it for a cute drama! and all the pretty bows are at the end, even the second female leads gets her boo! i would give it an 8 out of 10.

i hate you juliet. watched this one on a whim because it was on the viki discover page, but i actually don’t recall much from it sadly. the episodes were short, and if it had been longer i don’t know if i would have finished it. super predictable but i don’t know how the main leads ended up together i was totally team joon mo.

love o2o. another chinese drama, who am i? this is seriously a great drama, and i loved the concept of her being a gamer, and how they met in that avenue before ever meeting in real life. they were super cute, and he is super attractive. of course they encounter all the hardships that a major-rich-hot-senior in college-entrepreneur  would encounter when in a relationship with the cute-poorish-girl from a small city. but it was great, a lot predictable, but everything you want for a cute summer rom-com drama. i would 8 out of 10 recommend.

so many relatable moments. i had to include this precious gif!

[synthient]

Could you elaborate on what you mean about Death T re stanning and fairness? It sounds interesting and I'd love to hear about it if you don't mind sharing.

ajhfakj hoo boy. Okay.

So some time around the summer before last (judging by the point where the first baffled and frustrated readmores start showing up on this blog), I read Death-T. It made me feel…some kind of way. An…unpleasant kind of way.

Here’s the thing about me: I can’t just let myself have an emotional reaction to a piece of fiction. I have to, first, pick apart my own emotions to figure out why I had that reaction, and second, pick apart the story to figure out how it works and how it made me feel that way.

On the Feelings Front, I’ve isolated two main causes:

1. I have a brain that Needs Things To Be Fair. That doesn’t mean I can’t handle unfairness in a piece of fiction. Unfairness creates conflict, and conflict is what makes for good storytelling. But it does mean that I need the story to be aware of its own unfairness. I need the unfairness to be the point. Otherwise I start vibrating at high speeds and shaking my fist at clouds.

2. I’m a Kaiba stan. I accidentally got emotionally attached to the Funny Card Game Boy from the Funny Card Game Show. 

There’s the feelings part. That leaves the “picking apart the story” side of the equation. And I’ve been trying to do that in nice punchy little one-or-two-paragraph text posts for the past year or so, but I don’t think I’ve ever really done the argument justice that way. So I guess that leaves only one option: writing a giant wordvomit essay on Yugioh (1996-2004).

Why This Is A Death-T Hateblog: The Masterpost

An important note: I like being able to back up my thoughts with Evidence From The Text, but I’m specifically working off the (Viz translated) manga. You can read Cards with Teeth here, Capumon here, and Death-T starting here if you want to check any of my facts or draw your own conclusions. Keep in mind that the Toei anime made pretty huge changes to the s0 Kaiba storyline, and the DM anime skipped most of it entirely–if you’re more familiar with those continuities, there’re some major differences in the manga.

(Also this thing probably reads better on desktop. I think the formatting got screwed up on mobile)

How We Got Here

Before we can actually dig into Death-T, we need to start at the very beginning (♫a very good place to start♫). So that means taking a look at “The Cards with Teeth (Part 1)” and “The Cards with Teeth (Part 2).”

For its first 8 chapters, the Yugioh manga chugs blissfully (if repetitively) along with an episodic, conflict-of-the-week formula. No overarching plot. Next to no sense of continuity. No trading cards in sight.

Then this asshole shows up. 

His name is Seto Kaiba (or “Kaiba,” at least–not sure if this is just a Viz thing, but my copy of CwT never mentions his given name). Not that he bears a whole lot of resemblance to the Seto Kaiba we later come to know and love (and/or love to hate).

Almost none of his most defining traits are there yet. There’s no mention of Mokuba, no mention of Kaibacorp, no indicationthat he’s especially rich (besides the fact that he’s carrying around a wholebriefcase of trading cards), no reason to believe he has a specific obsession with Blue Eyes (he just thinks it’s a strong card and it’d help him win tournaments), and no sign of any special hacking/strategy/hand-to-hand-combat/etc. skills (the kid is hilariously incompetent). 

This dude was never supposed to be a recurring character, and it shows.

But anyway, let’s run through the basic series of events:

- Kaiba wanders into the game shop looking forbooster packs. Yugi recognizes him as an acquaintance from school (not as a famous kid CEO, and not as a recent transfer student)

- Kaiba happens to notice the Blue Eyes card lying out onGrandpa’s counter (in this version of events, he hasn’t been stealing rare cards for months before this, he didn’t creep on Yugi’s conversation and followhim home, he had no idea going in that the Blue Eyes was there, and he didn’t already have the other three)

- He offers to trade all the cards in his briefcasefor the Blue Eyes (although he doesn’t tell Grandpa to name his price—again,the millionaire CEO element isn’t a thing yet)

- Grandpa refuses, so the next day Kaiba comes up with alaughably badly thought-out plan to steal the card

- Shockingly, Yugi notices that the “color copy from the catalog” isn’t the real deal. He gently tries to confront Kaiba about it in private

- Kaiba (without showing an ounce of the cool head you’d think you’d need to take over and run a company) panics, starts stammering and unconvincingly denying it, and then smacks Yugi with his briefcase

Annnd then Part 2 plays out like a standard s0 chapter.

“Yami Yugi” takes over. They play a shadow game. Kaiba cheats by slipping the stolen Blue Eyes out of his sleeve (Atem’s like “That’s my Grandpa’s card!” and Kaiba straight up goes “Whaaat, nooo, that’s my card that I, uh, found on the street just now.” A teen genius criminal mastermind, everybody). The shadow magic gives him a spritz from its metaphorical Karmic Cat-Training Spray Bottle and makes his Blue Eyes dissolve (I’d like to think that was Kisara going “I’m not mad, just disappointed,” and Memory World tries to retroactively make that connection, but it’s pretty abundantly clear that nothing about this series was planned that far ahead). He loses. Yadda yadda yadda.

And then Atem goes in for the penalty game.

To recap: 

Some random 10th grader from Yugi’s school stole a trading card, hit someone, and was generally kind of a jerk. As punishment, he was trapped in a hyper-realistic illusion of being ripped apart and slaughtered by half a dozen monsters at once.

Y…ay…?

Let’s Stop and Reflect for a Sec

In theory, I shouldn’t be that much more upset about Cards with Teeth than I am about any other part of s0, right? It’s not like the manga framed it as horrific and wrong when Atem set off an explosion in some teenage bully’s face a couple chapters ago. Giving us the vicarious pleasure of punishing our bullies in over-the-top, Carrie-style ways without actually exploring any of the consequences is, like, the early manga’s whole thing.

But even taking into account the fact that I already had an attachment to this Nasty Bowl Cut Boy thanks to the anime, I do actually think that there are at least two factors that set CwT apart.

The first is that Atem’s karmic punishments are usually…well, karmic. If he inflicts physical harm on someone, it’s because they already inflicted or tried to inflict roughly the same amount of harm on Yugi & co. If the crime was relatively minor, then he only gives out a minor punishment–like, say, when the homeroom teacher was Just Kinda Mean, all he did was allow the class to see her without her makeup on (…setting aside the Let’s Get Into Gender Politics-ness of that chapter).

There’s even a few cases where you could argue that the punishment is too light to fit the crime. Ushio beat Jonouchi and Honda half to death and tried to murder Yugi with a knife, and all he got was this lousy t-shirt an illusion that made the trash on the ground look like money.

In another chapter, the villain of the week tried to rape Anzu, and the only punishment he faced was having his side business exposed as a scam (Let’s Get Into Gender Politics).

Yet in CwT, we see one of the most harmless villains in all of s0 (no prolonged beatings or attempted murder? unheard of!) receive what’s arguably the most horrifying penalty game in the whole manga. At least when that guy got set on fire, it was over fast.

And that brings us to factor number two: Kaiba is the first penalty game victim in s0 who comes back. 

Capumon: Gotta Catch ‘em All!

Well, technically he doesn’t come back in person, at first. Someone else shows up to fight in his name.

Oh hey Mokie. How’s it going?

Rather understandably (imo), Mokuba wants the guy who tortured his brother last week to face some actual consequences for it.

Now here’s an interesting opportunity that the manga has set up for itself. Is it going to dig deep into the balance between defending yourself vs lashing out and causing undue harm? Is it going to remind us that most of the penalty game victims so far, whatever their crimes,have been children? Is it going to demonstrate that when you take out your anger on someone, you don’t just hurt your immediate target, but their loved ones as well?

Nah, who am I kidding.  

Hurting or inconveniencing the Good Guys in any way is Bad. Anything the Good Guys do is Good and Justified. Using magic to stick an already-hurting eleven-year-old in his own personalized hell? Good and Justified.

Before he’s shoved screaming into the Giant Vending Machine Capsule Where Bad And Naughty Elementary Schoolers Go To Atone For Their Crimes, Mokuba mentions that the other penalty game he heard about “made my brother go crazy!”

He also drops a hint of things to come with all the subtlety of an anvil. So I guess by this point, the numbers had come in and the card game chapter had proved unexpectedly popular enough that a sequel was in the works.

Death-Twink? Death-Tastic?Death-Two: Electric Boogaloo?

I’ve been pretty hard on Cards with Teeth and Capsule Monsters Chess so far. But you want to know the truth?

On their own, they aren’t necessarily that bad.

What really matters in a story isn’t the literal events: it’s how those events are framed. At the moment, we’re only midway through an incomplete storyline. Maybe we’re supposed to be horrified. Maybe we’re supposed to be questioning whether or not the hero is really in the right. It all hangs on what these chapters are building to.

As it turns out–as Mokuba just helpfully clued us in on–they were building to Death-T.

And that’s where the shit hits the fan.

Over a dozen chapters after we first met Kaiba, a whole bunch of completely-unforeshadowed facts about him are suddenly dumped on us all at once. He’s rich! The kind of rich that allows for limo rides, a giant mansion, and flouncing around in a fur-lined cape like feudal European nobility! And he’s the president of a company, even though “Whaa?!! But he’s still in high school!” Speaking of which, apparently Kaiba “hasn’t been at school recently.”

The Death-T arc opens with Yugi and Jonouchi attending the world’s most awkward sleepover–the host never shows up, and they don’t even get to paint each others’ nails or watch movies. Also Mokuba tries to murder them in the night, but you know what? If someone tortured my brother, “made him go crazy,” and left him huddled in the house feverishly working on a bizarre project and refusing to go to school for the next few weeks, I’d probably poison them too.

The morning after the sleepover, we learn another new Kaiba Fact…

Ever since the Experience of Death happened, he’s been having horrible recurring PTSD nightmares about it. As you do. When you get tortured.

(This is why, even though I know intellectually that it’s Not That Deep and people arejust having fun, I still get a little skeeved out when I see jokes about howDeath-T happened “just” because Kaiba was that mad about losing a card game or “just”because he had a crush on Yugi and he didn’t know how to deal with it. I’malways internally like “Nnno, I’m pretty sure it was the torture?”)

So far we’ve been shown in pretty brutal detail that our “hero” psychologically broke a fifteen-year-old for no good reason. The manga’s going to have its work cut out for it if it really wants to do a convincing redemption arc for its protagonist. And there’s no way it could possibly try to spin that random act of torture as an acceptable thing, right?

…right?

Crime and Punishment

That’s one of my first big problems with Death-T: to me, it reads as a way of trying to retroactively justify the Experience of Death.

That seems to be the purpose of suddenly giving Kaiba all this wealth and power that was never hinted at in Cards with Teeth. See, he wasn’t just some random high school kid who had the bad luck of crossing someone with magic powers; he was (however improbable that is, as the story lampshades) a high school-aged CEO. He’s so ludicrously powerful that he can torture an old man in front of a live audience and get away with it. Punching up looks a lot better than punching down, doesn’t it?

And you can’t really fault the hero for torturing someone evil, can you? Kaiba used Grandpa’s sanity as a blackmail chip! He ran experiments on human test subjects! He wants to kill Yugi and everyone he loves! Surely a little torture is no worse than he deserved.

There’s only one one problem with that: the Experience of Death happened before Death-T. There’s no way Atem could have known any of this was coming. The audience couldn’t have known it was coming. Takahashi didn’t know. Chronologically speaking, the Experience of Death wasn’t revenge for Death-T. It’s the other way around.

Best Served Cold

So Death-T is a form of eye-for-an-eye vengeance: “Yugi” beat Kaiba at Duel Monsters and tortured him, so now Kaiba’s gonna beat Yugi and torture him, using his own perfect virtual recreation of “Yugi’s” penalty game (oh yeah, that whole “the average person goes insane in about 10 minutes” thing? Kaiba was able to program that detail from personal experience).

But wait! This isn’t really eye-for-an-eye! Kaiba’s going after Yugi’s loved ones, not just Yugi, and that’s worse than what Yugi did to him! And even if it was proportionate, revenge is bad and wrong. That’s how you get endless back-and-forth chains of vengeance and generational blood feuds and stuff. Two wrongs don’t make a right!

And those could all be reasonable points, except…

This entire story is about how great and badass eye-for-an-eye justice is.

“Wouldn’t it be cool if you could take everyone who ever hurt you and make them suffer even worse” is practically the thesis of Season 0. You can’t make something look awesome when the protagonist does it and then turn around and make it seem evil and inexcusable coming from anyone else.

And while Kaiba does wind up targeting Yugi’s friends, that wasn’t part of his original plan. He’s surprised when random people start jumping out of the bleachers/the Kaibacorp employee roster and insisting that they won’t let Yugi do this alone. The writing uses his surprise as proof that he just doesn’t understand The Power of Friendship, but it’s also evidence that his original target was just Yugi.

“If you’re gonna side with my torturer, then you can have the same fate as him, I guess.” It’s not even that far outside the logic Atem’s been using all this time. Just because there’s only one main gang member who personally hurt his friend, that doesn’t mean that Atem won’t rope every random mook who gets in his way into the death game too. (Granted, this doesn’t really apply to Kaiba’s treatment of Grandpa. Or the offscreen experimentation/blackmailing. Or Mokuba, but…we’ll get to that).

…But like I said before, the big issue isn’t the events. It’s the framing. Maybe the point will ultimately be that if penalty games are wrong when the bad guy does them, then they’re wrong when the hero does them too. Maybe this is all leading up to a big reexamination of Atem’s moral code and some much-needed character development.

Maybe. Let’s keep going and see.

*Great Gatsby comic voice* Baby? What Baby

Death-T runs for 14 chapters, but Kaiba isn’t actually there for, like…half of them.

I mean, he’s technically there? Occasionally? He’ll show up long enough to dramatically play chess for a panel or so, or to stick his head on a TV monitor and provide some Helpful Death Game Hints. But for all practical purposes, he’s pretty much absent for the entire middle section of the story arc.

And, uh…let’s just say I 100% understand and respect the DM anime’s decisionto go straight from Grandpa’s heart attack to the final duel and skipeverything in between.

If Kaiba’s real goal is to beat Yugi at Duel Monsters, then all the death games leading up to that one are basically filler. And they manage to be just as contrived and nonsensical as any anime filler arc, without a fraction of the fun.

It’s largely a tonal issue. The writing swings wildly between grimdark dramatics, sentimental conversations about friendship where everyone hugs and cries (tbh that’s one of the few redeeming qualities of the arc), and “comic relief” where the “““comedy””” is all either bodily function jokes or sexual assault jokes (L̠̤̯͍̦e̮̪͎̞t's̞̮̳̱̰̦̲ ̲G͖͉̹̻̯͉͖e̜̝̗͓̟͚t̖͚ ͚̰̞̮̝̫͎I͓̜̦̳̭͚͎n̪̪͈t͍̥̰̼o͚͎͇̣̘̝ ̪̼̜̣̳G͈̠̫e̳̝̗̪ṋ͚̞͎ͅd͔̙͓̯̹e̯̺̯̩r͔̣̲͔̳̗ ̘͙P̖̦o̩̺͖͎̞̬l͎̺͕̹i͇̣̼̦t̰i̬̰̝͙̗̝c̜̼̺̪̲̞s).

Honestly, in terms of the “stanning and fairness” argument, there’s not much to talk about here. It just adds insult to injury that not only does Death-T throw my fave under the bus, but it’s really badly written.

The Mokuba Thing

Okay, let’s fast-forward through the filler zone and stoppp…here. 

In the context of the anime, where we know (and see multiple flashbacks demonstrating) that their whole life has been an “us against the world” story, this scene is tragic. Seto’s trust in people has been eroded so much that he even thinks Mokuba is conspiring against him? Their love and support for each other, which has survived through so much hardship, has finally cracked under the weight of this latest trauma? There’s a lot of dramatic and tearjerking potential there.

I think it’s pretty safe to say that most of us bring our baggage from the anime with us when we read the manga. The vast majority of the western Yugioh fandom did start with DM. 

But if we look at this purely in the context of the manga–if we can pretend, for a second, that none of us have ever heard of the anime–this is the first time we see the two of them interacting onscreen. And none of those touching flashbacks of Seto comforting Mokuba and defending him from bullies and promising to be his father exist here. All we ever really learn about their relationship before this point is “They used to be a little closer when they were younger. Source: one (1) photo of them playing chess.”

So instead of serving as the tragic lowpoint of their relationship, this scene sets the baseline for it: Mokuba desperately wants to make his brother happy and earn his approval, while Seto responds with dismissal and cruelty.

In the anime (and to a certain extent in the later manga), Mokuba’s purpose in the narrative is to humanize Seto. But in Death-T, he serves the opposite function. Every interaction they have is an opportunity for Seto to kick the dog and prove what a monster he is.

And it’s all downhill from here.

………………

…So.

I have…mixed feelings about this.

On one level–a meta level–I think this scene serves the same purpose as taking that random high schooler from CwT and suddenly giving him ridiculous amounts of money and power and mustache-twirling levels of villainy. It’s a way of making the Experience of Death seem retroactively justified (and also a way of making the upcoming penalty game look fair).

On the other hand. It’s. 

Horrific.

This scene is supposed to make us hate Kaiba, and it does it’s job really really well.

Personally speaking? I’m of the opinion that trying to hurt the child under your care as badly as you conceivably can is a “don’t pass go, don’t collect $100″ kind of deal. There’s no coming back from that. There’s no fixing or salvaging this relationship.  

(God, this whole thing is wrapped in so many layers of fantasy that I’m not even sure what the real-world equivalent would be. Trying to beat your child not quite to death?)

Mokuba should not have had to continue living with his brother after this, any more than the Ishtars should have had to stay with their dad or Seto should have had to stay with Gozaburo. Mokuba forgiving Seto for this isn’t touching to me, it’s gut-wrenching. Every “heartwarming” brotherly moment in the later manga (all, like…2 and a half of them) feels hollow and sad.

As far as I’m concerned, this scene doesn’t “complicate” their relationship in any interesting or meaningful way. Their anime relationship already has plenty of complications–their sometimes unhealthy co-dependence, the fact that Seto is still a kid himself and he’s not really equipped to be a parent,Mokuba’s difficulty understanding that Seto can’t just “go back to who he was” before his trauma, the times when Seto is too caught up in his own pain to really be there for Mokuba, the manipulation involved in Seto’s takeover plan, etc. This just makes their relationship outright child abuse.

But hey, they hugged that one time in Duelist Kingdom, so it’s fine, right?

ExODiA iiiIIIIT’s not pAHsible

The final duel happens. The big Blue Eyes vs Exodia showdown.

*Bill Wurtz voice* So that’s pretty nifty, I would say.

It’s..? A genuinely cool and dramatic duel. There’s a reason it’s one of the, like, three Death-T elements the DM anime actually bothered to keep. Not much to say about it.

Sure was a whole lot of buildup just to end things with one (1) deus ex machina instawin card, tho.

The Tragic Backstory

So if all this happened because of a penalty game, what do you think the solution could be?

Did you say “another, even harsher penalty game”?

Ding ding ding!

This time, instead of torturing the fifteen-year-old, our hero puts the fifteen-year-old in a vegetative state as he begs for mercy.

Yaaaayy! 

Some fun facts about the Mind Crush that we don’t actually learn until Duelist Kingdom:

1. It lasted for 6 months

2. Mokuba spent that entire time alone, in the big empty mansion, with no parental guidance or adult supervision except the butlers and maids, caring for his brother’s comatose body 24/7

3. When Atem put Kaiba in that coma, he had absolutely no idea if he’d ever be able to wake up or not. He thought he could, maybe–Kaiba’s pretty strong, right? But he also finds the idea that Kaiba died in his coma and came back to haunt him perfectly believable. “Fixed,” dead…eh, it was kind of a coin toss.

But wait, the story’s not over yet! First we have to find out Why Kaiba Is The Way He Is (“Because your buddy tortured him last month” isn’t enough of an answer, apparently).

This is communicated in the most natural way possible: Mokuba just starts monologuing about all his brother’s deepest darkest traumas to a bunch of strangers his brother hates.

The claim that Kaiba’s backstory is “more complex” in the manga than it is in the anime has always confused me, because this is…it. These three pages are the whole backstory. I mean, in Battle City we do get one more passing line of dialog about how Kaibacorp used to be a weapons manufacturer and Gozaburo “sold Seto’s soul to the military industrial complex,” but other than that… The anime took these bare bones and fleshed them out significantly, but from a pure manga canon standpoint, it’s not a whole lot to work with.

But there’s still enough here to rub me the wrong way.

For one thing, this sequence is almost an exact parallel to two later moments in the manga: Pegasus’s backstory dump at the end of Duelist Kingdom, and Malik’s backstory dump mid-Battle City. In both of those cases, the purpose of the scene is to take a villain whose motives seemed cruel and inexplicable and finally reveal the reasons behind his actions. We’re supposed to be seeing these characters in a sympathetic light for the very first time.

But Kaiba’s motives in Death-T, uh, weren’t exactly a mystery. He already made it pretty explicitly clear that this was about the torture. So as a narrative tool, Mokuba’s monologue:

1. seems a little superfluous

2. seems like a way of taking any responsibility out of the protagonist’s hands. Kaiba didn’t snap because of anything Atem did, he just had a bunch of fucked up baggage that Atem couldn’t possibly have known about or accounted for. Who knew some people take it badly when you torture them??

3. seems to suggest that we weren’t supposed to be sympathizing with Kaiba before this point. If this is the big “oh, now that I know why he did it, I guess I feel a little bad for him :(” moment, then that means the part where he got tortured…wasn’t?

And, as always, there’s the issue of the framing.

The grace note of the monologue–the thought it leaves us with, the intended takeaway–isn’t “If only he hadn’t gone through years of abuse, in circumstances he had no real control over because he was a child.” It’s “If only he hadn’t brought all this upon himself by cheating.”

Even if we ignore the fact that it’s physically impossible to cheat at chess (which seems like kind of a big oversight for a gaming manga, but oh well, That’s Yugioh Babe)…

How can you possibly present a ten-year-old cheating at a board game in a desperate gambit to get himself and his brother out of an orphanage as his start of darkness?

Yet that’s exactly what the writing does. This is a story about how games “reveal the true hearts” of their players and bring karmic retribution down on anyone who doesn’t respect the game and follow the rules. The implication is that the child abuse Seto suffered was karma. He rightfully earned it by cheating at chess, just like he brought the Experience of Death upon himself by cheating at Duel Monsters.

Oh yeah, speaking of which…

Wheel of Morality, Turn Turn Turn, Tell Us The Lesson We Should Learn

What was the outcome of Death-T? What impact did it actually have? 

Did it bring about any big moral reckoning? Any questioning of the heroes’ values? Did Atem learn the difficult but important lesson “torture bad”?

Nnnnope!

Death-T is immediately followed by a series of episodic chapters that take us right back to the status quo like nothing happened. Atem keeps merrily handing out penalty games all the way up to the very end of Duelist Kingdom. When he does finally stop doing them, his decision has nothing to do with Death-T. It takes a comment from Pegasus about the Millennium Items having an “evil intelligence” to make him wonder “wait…I’m from a Millennium Item…I’m an intelligence…could evil…maybe include…torture????”

And even after the manga lukewarmly reverses its position to “torture sort of bad I guess,” it never really does anything with that revelation. None of the past penalty games are ever reexamined. No apologies are made. The Experience of Death is quietly swept under the rug, and the Mind Crush, when it’s brought up at all, is framed as noble act that “fixed” Kaiba (because “if you make someone suffer badly enough, you can hurt them into being a better person” is a great message).

Basically, we learned nothing from Death-T, nothing changed, and our takeaway is supposed to be “Atem was 100% in the right and Kaiba was 100% in the wrong, and also he’s an evil monster who deserved everything he got.”

Guess I Need A Satisfying Conclusion of Some Kind Even Through Death-T Didn’t Really Have One, Huh

Wow.

That was…a whole lot of words of Death-T rage that I apparently had in me zjkghzkkf. 

I tend to feel less justified about constantly harping on Death-T then I do when it comes to, like, the racism in Memory World, or the series’ general Miss O’Gyny. It’s not like “magical vigilantism” is exactly a real-word social issue that’s being reflected in this piece of fiction. I realize a lot of my anger pretty much boils down to “hey,, ! thats…my fave. stopp...being mean to him >:(”

But I also feel like the issues in Death-T aren’t limited to Death-T.

The manga has this…this thing where it wants to be able to pinpoint a few clear, unchanging moral rules (“cheating is bad!” “graverobbing is bad!” “patricide is bad!”) and just apply them neatly to every situation, without having to take into account any of that inconvenient stuff like “what were the circumstances of this specific situation,” or “how many choices were actually open to this person,” or “how much harm was done by this choice compared to its benefits in terms of basic human well-being.” Yet at the same time, that moral absolutism is somehow coupled with a reluctance to apply any moral judgement to its protagonists at all. 

The two points where that becomes clearest are Death-T and Memory World. And I feel like even when people acknowledge the issues with those arcs, they still want to be able to write it off as “oh, that was just a problem with the early chapters, it was fixed as the writing matured,” or “oh, that was just a problem at the end because of the mad rush to finish the story before it got canceled, it was never a thing before then.” But it’s not an isolated problem. It’s there at the beginning of the story, it’s there at the end, and it’s baked into everything in the middle.

…but anyhow. 

hey,, ! thats…my fave. stopp...being mean to him >:(

[jae-ha]

I know it's still taking a while until you'll upload the Satsuten Yankee Academy drama CDs because your friends is sick, so can I ask for the synopsis of the whole story? I'm so curious of what's happening! XD

Hey there, Anon~

I’ve been wanting to let you (and everyone who’s been waiting on the drama CD) know what’s going on, so I’ll take the opportunity to do so here. I’ll include the synopsis that you asked for in a spoiler tag below in case you want to skip my little ramble~ 

For everyone who’s still waiting on the second SatsuTen CD, I’m incredibly sorry for the delay. I’ve done everything I can possibly do on my end to have the video completed as fast as possible. (I created the video, set up the subtitling time stamps, and translated as much as I could nearly a month ago. I’ve even created and laid ALL the groundwork for the upcoming Café drama CD so that as soon as I get the translation, I can have it done pronto. Believe me, guys, if I could, this video would’ve been completed the same week the Blu-rays came out because I’m an obsessed loser).

As for the translation, I don’t know Carley (the translator I commissioned) personally, so I can’t confidently tell you everything that’s happening. At first she was sick which was the reason for the delay; and, according to her twitter/main blog she has a job as well. She’s been active on her main social media accounts, but I haven’t been contacted since last week, so I’m unsure what’s happening. As a result, I’ve turned to @apriumjam for help with the translations. We’re both going to do our best to have it up as soon as possible! Thank you all for your patience! 

And now, on with the synopsis. I won’t go into extensive detail (because it takes all the excitement out of listening to the CD itself), but I can honestly say I had a blast listening to this CD. There are a lot of throwbacks to the series itself, and a lot of the anime’s OST is used which allows for a nice sense of nostalgia. IMO, it’s much much better than the first drama CD (not that the first one was bad), and if you’re a Zack fan (as, like, 99.9% of us are) this CD pretty much spotlights him. If you don’t want any SPOILERS, avoid reading below the cut!

(And for some reason, my blog’s current theme isn’t putting the synopsis UNDER the cut, so I’m just going say now that THERE ARE SPOILERS AHEAD).

The story starts with little delinquent Eddie picking a fight with Zack. The two clash— Eddie with his shovel and Zack with his baseball bat since scythes just aren’t school friendly. Eddie seems to be the instigator of most of their fights, and Zack seems to just regard them (and Eddie himself) as one big annoyance. Their fight is a throwback to episode 3 and even uses some of the same dialogue. Eddie makes fun of Zack for breaking (or not knowing how to use?) the academy card key. Zack gets mad and delivers Eddie a hard smack, which sends the boy on his way shouting, “I’ll remember this!!” as is custom in those cliché anime fight scenes, lol.

Zack leaves, but it starts raining heavily. He walks through the rain towards the school and hears something whimpering. It’s a dog, which he approaches. Upon picking it up, he notices its body is covered with injuries. He asks if it’s okay. The dog takes a liking to him (and this scene is super cute trust me). 

Rachel arrives, bids Zack good morning, and notices the injuries on the dog appear to be burns. She asks to take a look, but when she does, I think she starts to… hallucinate? This part is a little weird, but I can only assume it’s meant to be a throwback to the bad experiences she’s had with puppies (e.g.: the one she sewed up to make “her own” when she was younger and the one she killed in the orphanage). Zack literally smacks her (because Zack hits everyone in this CD) to snap her out of it. The two decide to go to class. 

Danny’s teaching, and once they arrive, he begins chiding them for being late/interrupting class/not following school rules, etc. Eventually Danny becomes… himself and descends into his infatuation with Rachel. The dog barks, grabbing his attention, and when Danny compliments its eyes, Zack goes into ‘protective mode’ and calls Danny-se-n-se-i out on his creepiness (it’s the best thing ever).

Rachel and Zack leave with the pupper in tow and discuss finding its owner. They run into Eddie again. Just as before, Eddie picks a fight with Zack, but stops immediately and goes full chill when Rachel bids him good morning (Eddie is super precious). Rachel explains the situation with the puppy, and Eddie the animal-lover, tries to pet the pup. Zack begins gloating because the dog likes him more, and we get to hear his legendary cackle.

Zack’s gloating pisses Eddie off and the two fight again, but this time, Rachel and the pup get caught in the middle. Rachel throws herself between them (we stan a queen) and gets injured protecting the pup. Both Zack and Eddie stop immediately, and Rachel drags “scolds” the two of them. Eddie mentions, once again, that Zack is useless, which earns him another hard smack. And just like before, Eddie runs off shouting, “I’ll remember this!!!” Zack mentions that Rachel’s hit her head and takes her to the nurse’s office. Enter Cathy!

Cathy seems happy to see him since he’s such a delightful sinner delinquent, always so violent and brutish. He says that Rachel’s the one who’s injured, not him. Rachel has a sit-down with Nurse Cathy and asks her to look at the puppy’s burns. Cathy sees the dog and falls in love since it’s so cute. There’s another throwback to episode 5 here (remember Cathy’s “vitamins”? she makes mention to them in this scene). 

I think Cathy says she’ll at least train the dog, and in a meantime, Rachel decides to sleep (throwbacks all over the place) since her head aches. Zack says he’ll wait for her to wake up. When she does awaken, Zack and Cathy have the dog show her the tricks it knows (they are both so proud of it). Cathy bids them goodbye (and it’s hilarious for reasons you guys will hear later).

The rain has finally stopped. Neither of them know what to do about the dog, and as they try to decide what to do, Principal Gray arrives. He drops some wisdom (because what else would Papa Gray do) and says that he’ll take care of the pup. Rachel thanks him.

The next day, Zack and Rachel meet up and see the doggo again. It appears to be in good spirits. Rachel is relieved at this. Once again, Eddie appears and is very happy to see Rachel (as for Zack, Eddie’s stopped calling him by his name and now refers to him as ‘brute’, which serves to infuriate Zack). Eddie was tasked by Gray to bring over some dog food so they could all feed the pup together. Zack, now eager to feed it, tries to give it some soda, but Rachel immediately intervenes, telling him dogs can’t drink cola and he should at least give it milk. The CD ends with the dog barking happily. 

[wenlite]

[Fan account] 190218 Red Velvet Toronto airport arrival and 190219 RedMare concert

This is probably the most unforgettable experience I’ve had since discovering K-pop and just getting close to them at the airport still feels surreal. I would probably never move on from the emotional concert and seeing how five of them genuinely cherish each other truly makes my heart full. I love Red Velvet, all five of them.

Photo by potvinr. Loves of my life.

Airport Arrival

Airport arrivals are always a guessing game until fansites update previews and give information on their departure. So if you’re planning to welcome them in your city if ever they visit, it’s wise to wait for fansite previews first before going to the airport and save yourself from long waiting hours.

I wasn’t wise enough and was too excited to see Red Velvet, especially Wendy back in her hometown. I arrived at the airport ten minutes before 1 PM, by this time we were still unsure of which terminal they will land (Toronto airport has three terminals) but decided to wait at terminal one. I joined a small group of Luvies (around seven people), some of them were there as early as 8 AM. As the hours passed, more Luvies joined us with more details on their arrival. We spotted fansites as well and Red Velvet’s security staff and were relieved we were in the right terminal. As their arrival inched closer, everyone got nervous and anxious and my response to this was checking the boards every few minutes and peeking at the security staff to get a clue to where the girls are moving. At one point the security approached us and counted our gifts and asked if it was for the artist and we excitedly said yes. They were really polite in giving us instructions and telling us that the girls might not accept them.

Warm welcome

As soon as the sliding doors opened and gave us a peek of Irene, I could hear screams coming from the waiting area in front of the doors. I was on the right hand side of the ramp readying my camera to record. I press the record button, however, as the girls move down the ramp closer to us, chaos started. They were swarmed quickly and excited fans call out their names and try giving them gifts. It was difficult to get a stable shot but I was happy to get a few decent clips of Wendy. She was such a sweetheart and smiled at everyone calling her.

The girls were out the airport doors and in their van in under five minutes. We see them off while shouting “Welcome home Wendy!” and try to recover from seeing “Real Visuals” up close.

A “moment” with Wendy

Seeing how the girls in fancams swiftly exited the arrival areas in other airports, I decided not to get gifts for them and only record their arrival. However, one of my friends asked if I could give her letter to Wendy as she had her hands full and was going to take pictures. I honestly doubted she would accept it but was determined to try.

I was very fortunate amidst the chaos, to be at the right place at the right time and have an opportunity in between recording and getting bumped by other fans, to stretch out my hand and call Wendy. The situation was already as hectic as it is so I tried to calmly call her and quietly reach out and wait if she’ll accept the letter. It felt like there was a moment of silence when I called out her name and she looked at me for a second probably deciding whether to take the letter. While staring at Wendy, mesmerized, arm stretched, I saw her hand move and felt a tug at the letter. It happened so fast (although it felt like forever for me) and I was over the moon to be able to get close to her, close enough that she accepted the letter.

Concert day!

Being a follower of SM girl groups because I prefer their concepts and music, I would say that Red Velvet is the most talented group I have seen so far. Red Velvet’s discography, vocals, concepts, choreography, and the group itself are succinctly and carefully put together making them so interesting to watch and listen to. Anticipating their comebacks is a special experience as well because you’re never quite sure what they will do next, e.g., changing concepts from “Bad Boy” to its stark opposite “Power Up”, these talented girls incredibly pull off anything. In addition, Wendy’s live vocal prowess and iconic “Shine on me” bridge is an experience everyone should not miss.

As soon as SM announced the Toronto concert, I know I would do anything to see them live again.

Despite a few bumps, I was happy to get floor seating and arrived at Coca-cola coliseum around 4 PM. Doors were scheduled to open at 6:30 PM and fans lined up outside at -4 degrees Celsius weather, running off to fansites to buy goods or grab a free banner. My friend (a fellow Wendy stan I met at the airport) and I met Maple Syrup at the airport the day before so we used the advantage of knowing what she looks like to line up in front of her even before she revealed her location (it was kind of funny how excited we were). As the organizer wasn’t very strict about fansites selling, the masters freely displayed banners and sold goods near the line up later on.

Inside the venue

Waiting yet for another set of doors to open but hey, look at this cute Wendy fan from Maple Syrup.

From the 12th row.

Hawk-eyed Luvies notice lights and people from the balcony. Turns out the Goddesses were above us doing interviews. They waved to the crowd before disappearing.

Performances

When “Something Kind of Crazy” plays, you know you should ready your light stick and emotions because perfection is about to start.

As the lights dim, the crowd burst into cheers and settle down when the VCR started playing. The concert kicked off with the playful “Russian Roulette” with the girls wearing cute girl scout outfits.

Fanchants always come with title songs and as I tried my best doing them, I noticed that I was the only one in my row screaming words in sync with the performance. This was definitely different from the Red Room concert in Japan wherein the crowd was one in chanting and moving their light sticks. The Toronto crowd cheered on the girls in their own enthusiastic way and had them  smiling and feeling warmly welcomed.

Irene was really funny during their introduction and made a cute mistake of welcoming everyone to “Redmare in USA”, she immediately corrected herself with a high pitched “Canada!...Canada...”.

The cutest part of the show followed when the girls wore animal outfits and performed “Mr. E.”, “Happiness”, “Hit that Drum”, and “Zoo”. Wendy was so adorable with the white puppy dress and ears. The most anticipated bridge in “Happiness” was also in this portion of the show and as soon as Wendy raised her hands and belted “Shine on me! Let it shine on me!”, the crowd made the loudest screams for the main vocalist.

Fancam by joyceeishungee

Several songs in and the girls remain stable in singing and tight in their choreography. Red Velvet are talented live performers.

Another costume change and the girls appear in overly ruffled dresses with huge hearts in front. During the ment section, Yeri asks, as she follows the script, “Could you tell us what is famous in Toronto?”. Everyone yells “Wendy!”, making her smile and embarrassed.

The dark half of the show started with a remix of “Ice Cream Cake” and a few of the floor audience rushed onto the aisles to get a closer look. The fan favourite “Bad Boy” followed and the audience sang along, echoing the song throughout the coliseum.

Fancam by joyceeishungee

This, for me, is the best part of the concert, showcasing the versatility of the group with the RnB track “Bad Boy” which the girls impressively sang live in English. Followed by “Peek-a-boo”, a song with faster beat and choreo, ending with my current favourite “Really Bad Boy” that has quite a complex choreography, yet the girls pull off effortlessly.

“Everyone I love is here.”

Days or even weeks before Red Velvet arrived in Toronto, Reveluvs have been anticipating an emotional night in Coca-cola coliseum. Knowing how Wendy always expressed desire to go home to her family in Canada, fans were elated she is finally having a chance to be home after long seven years.

This was really a precious moment between the members, Luvies, Wendy’s family and friends. I am so proud of her and thankful to everyone who made February 19th, 2019 a very special night.

Thank you to Wonders Never Cease for capturing this moment in full. Joy is really admirable in baring her emotions in front of Wendy’s friends and family and the audience. Honesty and vulnerability are truly her strengths. 

Moments like these are moments I will never forget and I’m happy I was part of it.

[shinee-freefalling]

BTS World Tour: Love Yourself - fan account

I saw BTS perform at the O2 arena in London on Tuesday 9th October 2018, and it was simply amazing. I’ll do my best to tell you all about it.

Before the show (the boring bit in which I try not to misrepresent the realities of the standing experience - potentially useful if you’ll be attending a show with standing tickets)

The truth is that the day of the show… had its challenges. My group of friends and I had standing tickets and we chose to commit ourselves to getting to the O2 by 5 am (which involved waking up at 2.30 am lol - it was like getting up to go to the airport) to be in with a chance of being somewhere near the front of the pit. Queuing had its ups and downs (trying to avoid giving too much detail on this as I don’t want to give room for negativity), but ultimately, for me, a lot of excitement built up and it was an opportunity to practise our fan chants, even if it was a pretty tiring experience.

Once the doors opened at 5 pm and we were admitted into the arena, we were over the moon at managing to get a spot in the fourth row from the front, right near the middle stage (diamond-shaped), which is pretty much exactly where we’d hoped to end up. Unfortunately, although perhaps inevitably, it did later become clear that there was going to be a lot of pushing from the back of the pit. One of my friends sadly got completely separated from the rest of us for the duration of the concert, ending up in about the tenth row back. The rest of us got separated from one another too, though we were lucky enough to be able to somewhat maintain our position nearer the front.

I’ve got to admit that in spite of the level of pushing (and, at times, elbowing) that occurred, there maybe actually was something to be gained from the intensity and vigour of the crowd. It was at least made clear that Bangtan are incredibly loved, that all of UK ARMY want to be close with them, and there was something unifying in that.

Showtime

I’ve wasted time making excuses when all I really want to say is that I had the best time of my life and loved every second of the concert from the moment it started to the moment BTS left the stage.

I’d seen Bangtan before (at KCON Paris in 2016), but had kinda forgotten what it’s like to be there in the same room with them, to look at them and see them with your own two eyes, no cameras or computer screens intervening. As one of my friends said to me on the tube home, they look exactly as they do in their pictures and videos, completely beautiful, but the difference is that they became real. All of that masculinity, attitude and (forgive me) sex appeal that gets dampened by the process of recording and broadcasting became tangible, and it was kinda electrifying.

Songs (with commentary)

The setlist for the night was setlist B, so the songs were:

Idol (The first song!!!! They launched straight into it and did their introductions afterwards.)

Save Me (It became apparent that people really know the words of their songs, and there was even fan chanting going on, not even just singing along. It was so fun to be part of the ARMY ocean with everybody. Namjoon’s part was super popular.)

I’m Fine (I was NOT fine.)

Magic Shop (JK introduced his song for ARMY, giving me the chance to tell BTS that I promise to give me the best of me. Thank you BTS. Such a beautiful moment of my life.)

Trivia: Just Dance (Solo stages!!!! And Hobi, you sexy. How can you go from ‘I’m your hope, you’re my hope’ to this??? That elevated stage dance though - you must’ve been scared… and you didn’t lose your footing or get out of breathe? Wizard)

Euphoria (JK sang from his chair, which probably killed him inside but it was just very moving and somehow didn’t detract from the performance at all, such is the level of his vocals. Being with JK together in that song, well, for me, it was utopia.)

I Need U (I think this is when I almost fainted lol)

Run (Yeah still fainting - oh dear)

Serendipity (‘GEUNYANG GEUNYANG!!!!!’ HOLY SHIT JIMINNNNNNNNN. He freakin played us ALL. Like I was never a fan of excessive floor humping dance moves until this day. Now I am, like 3000% a fan.)

Trivia: Love (So this is one of my favourite of their new songs and I’d heard it wasn’t that popular in concert but our crowd went wild for it. We were all right there with the PQRST, it was mad. I hope Namjoon felt our love.)

DNA (Yoongi’s part and then V’s made us lose our shit.)

Boyz with Fun (Medley time! And I mean, who can resist a bit of ‘heungtan sonyeondan’? Such a lovely throwback to Paris, I was filled with memories of me and my bestie. Love this song so much because of that.)

Attack on Bangtan (A lot of water was being handed out at this point to keep us hydrated. My memories are blurry.)

Fire (They didn’t do the choreo until 3.33, then they hella did the choreo.)

Silver Spoon (THEY DID BAEPSAE!!! Weren’t we lucky?! Namjoon came right up to the edge of the stage and attacked with some… select parts of the choreo 😂 - I was LIVING.)

Dope (This was so clearly an audience favourite. I think maybe because a lot of people got into Bangtan for the first time because of this song? At least that was the case for me. ‘Eoseo wa bangtaneun cheoeumiji?’ NEEEEEEE)

Airplane Pt. 2 (Finally, BTS can say ‘London to Paris’ and really mean it. JK sitting in his chair actually worked well for this one, he did a lot of upper body wiggling and it was great.)

Singularity (V was a solo artist with this - unreal levels of artistry, individuality and professionalism.)

Fake Love (I had the realisation that this is like my favourite BTS stage ever. The choreo in real life was just mind-blowing, the movements were so unbelievable and fluid. It was only just really sad that Jungkookie couldn’t be a part of it, I’m sure he wanted to. The fan chants were mad with this one btw - I think there are ‘FAKE LOVE’-shaped holes in my eardrums.)

Trivia: Seesaw (Aren’t we all Yoongi stans when this song plays? That voice was pure velvet. Yoongi, we all know it now - you can really sing.)

Epiphany (Okay, I’ll admit something I’m slightly ashamed of, which is that i didn’t known Jin could be this good. And I feel bad for not expecting it to the extent I did, but he ruled the stage so hard, it was beyond expectation, definitely one of the best stages of the night. Madhyung’s voice was so strong and beautiful. What a singer.)

The Truth Untold (There was a moment of such utterly perfect harmony between JiKook, the crowd loved it.)

Outro: Tear (Yoongi loves his job, he was just so very clearly so happy to be there and was loving every second of it. The amount of stage presence and… sheer happiness that radiated rom him, it was so so lovely to see.)

Mic Drop (This was mad, we were singing along like it was the last thing we’d do, even the raps, even though it was the Korean version. And freakin ‘mic mic bungee’ was everything.)

Part of me had hoped for setlist C as Boy in Luv is one of my favourites, and there was a moment when Jimin (or was it V?) said ‘make some noise’ in the exact same way that I’ve seen them sometimes doing right before launching into ‘doegopa / neoui oppa,’ and so my heart completely leapt out of my chest. But honestly, no regrets. All the setlists are amazing and I feel SO lucky to have seen Baepsae!!

For the encore, we had the standard:

So What (‘I don’t wanna die right now, I don’t wanna fight right now, I don’t like worries, Life is long… I wanna live right now’ - thank you Namjoon 💖.)

Anpanman (Of course the crowd loved it, though I found out after the show that Jungkook apparently broke down in tears at this point. He must have been so frustrated not to be able to give it his all. ☹️)

Answer: Love Myself (‘You’ve shown me, I have reasons, I should love myself’ - the perfect ending, resolution.)

Jimin

Jimin, my bias. Thank you, Jimin. He spent so much time on our part of the stage, I was immensely grateful, especially as I’d been sad that he hadn’t seemed to come over to our part of the stage so much in Paris. Beautiful, blonde, with a such a pretty tummy (we saw flashes during Baepsae). Charismatic but rude, he was giving all kinds of eye contact to the crowd, so much fan service, in fact they all made a point of doing this and it was so kind, the way they made sure to make us feel seen and heard. Though their gazes (mostly) weren’t soft at all, so hard and piercing. I feel blessed but also somehow humiliated by having been present in their line of sight.

Jimin maintained a cool facade for much of the concert (I mean, he is the coolest after all), but occasionally that true, sweet smile would break through (like at the end of Serendipity, probs cause he knew we needed something to recover) or when speaking to the members (playing with / comforting Jungkook, bothering Namjoon).

Not meaning to be rude or anything, because it’s something I totally love about him, but Jimin is massively attention hogging on stage and you can totally see why the other members like to (semi-pretend) complain about him, yet admire him so much for his stage presence and performance ability. He was always present just seemingly everywhere on stage, and so commanding. Born to perform, I swear. And stealing everyone else’s moments too, especially Namjoon, whose choreographed high kicks he matched at one point, before adding one extra (extra high) kick of his own, then going on to pinch Namjoon’s cheeks and poke his dimples during Namjoon’s ment. At one point, he came up behind Namjoon so suddenly that Namjoon didn’t know he was there and accidentally hit him in the face. Jimin pretended to be stunned and touched his face as if to confirm it had happened before moving on - it was just so cuteee. 

Ending ments

BTS closed the show with their ending ments. The members taking the time to speak to us as individuals and at length was so special, it was maybe even my favourite part of the whole entire thing. To be able to experience Bangtan live, member by member, just as we know them to be, just as they are… it was just so special.

Something I haven’t mentioned yet (although I’m sure anybody reading this who cares to know will already know) is that Jungkook was injured. We got an announcement at about ten minutes before the concert was due to start explaining that Jungkook had collided with furniture while doing some light stretches not two hours before the show started, and so although it wasn’t a serious injury, he had been told that it would be against medical advice to perform choreography that night. Throughout the concert, he was therefore sat in a chair and not able to participate in the dances or come to the front of the stage. During his ending ment, Jungkookie explained (through the translator) that he had originally prepared something to say in English but chose to speak in Korean so that he could speak to us sincerely from his heart. He apologised for not being able to perform and promised that now he had experienced it, being here with us, he would make sure that it never happened again. Of course, we shouted that it wasn’t his fault, which Namjoon also told him (‘Jungkook, it’s not your fault,’ clear and simple), and we shouted that we loved him. A chant of Jeon Jungkook broke out and Jungkook just bent over with head down so that all we could see was the back of his neck growing red as he cried. Jimin in his ment teased that Jungkook would go back and cry all night after this, and counted us in to ‘tell Jungkook you love him.’ I’m sad he cried but I’m glad we managed to show him how much we love him, that our words reached him. In spite of being injured, Jungkookie was clearly just so done with sitting by the end and did get up and walk around a bit at the front of the stage to try and properly say goodbye (this was during Answer: Love Myself, I think). Jungkookie, I hope you won’t be hurt for long and that you will be back to doing what you love in no time. Get better soon and thank you for everything.

Jungkookie wasn’t the only member to cry. I’m pretty sure Jin and V also teared up at the end. So you know, they were feeling it too. And Jimin’s ment had me crying also, I literally took one look at him as his turn came to speak and started bawling. It was quite embarrassing having to shout ‘we love you’ and ‘you’re my hero’ with a voice full of tears but I did it anyway and I hope he realised how much we love him.

BTS in London

I never expected that they’d come here until they did. I didn’t think we’d be able to get tickets until we did. Namjoon said that London is a place they’ve always wanted to come to. Jimin said that it was his first time in London. Namjoon promised that they will come back next year, which was just the most wonderful thing to hear. Jimin said they were supposed to come last year but couldn’t. Someone, maybe Yoongi or maybe V, said that London was a beautiful place, but we (ARMY) were the most beautiful thing about it. It was definitely Yoongi who said, in classic Yoongi style, that they would need a bigger stadium next time. What a total burn to the O2 arena, clearly not big enough to accommodate the size of Yoongi’s ambition. 😂

Overall

Bangtan’s is a position of immense privilege, but they hold it with such grace. They demonstrate such professionalism and kindness, yet at the same time are goddam sexy and frankly brutal in their stage personas. I am so grateful to know them and to be their fan. We were so lucky to get tickets to see their show, to get the chance to say thank you and show them our love. Bangtan, you’re my inspiration; Jimin, you’re my hero. When I need to love myself, you take me there and show me how. When I need to work on myself, you show me how to do that too. Thank you for being together with me always in your music, and making an ‘us’ together with ARMY: ‘Thank you, uri ga dwae jwoseo.’

Moments

Yoongi sprayed water on us first, and rather aggressively too. Then J-Hope did it too. Thank you for showering me (with your love). 😂

Jimin pushed back V’s hair back when he was wearing his bandana during the encore. So cuteee

Jimin took out Jungkook’s earpiece and whispered into his ear, saying something that caused him to smile.

Taehyung did finger guns with that classic boxy smile face right near us - it’s seared into my memory.

[hyuncakes]

hi i was not sure if i should send this to your main or this but since this blog is more wanna one related tag could your mutuals as points in "if kpop positions were accurate" this is the post = seokjinandtonic. tumblr. com/post/164651220236/if-kpop-positions-were-accurate i have been following both of you on your main and here and i like you to know i am a fan and your graphics inspire me

YOU ARE SOOOOO CUTE OMG THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR LIKING OUR GRAPHICS!! And saying that we inspire you ;___; that’s so so sweet of you I literally screamed. You deserve the worlddddddd!!! This seems fun so let’s get to it!! ^^ Lillian and I are gonna combine our answers lol so if you’re tagged and are like “lool this girl isn’t even following me though???” it’s prob the other person~ :^)

the hyung you thought was a maknae

tbh I thought Ying was my age but it turned out she was 95 line!!! @ Ying I also tagged you for something else below c:

the unofficial visual

@woojiniel and @perkwoojin are so so so pretty?? Idk but these were the first two I thought of!! They have such soft, sweet visuals and I think usually in groups the official visuals are the ones with the “stronger” visuals? But once you get into the group more you start to notice that one member who’s like so so cute that you can’t believe they’re not officially labelled as a visual. 

the “not my bias, but is my bias”

Ummm probably @hwangminyeo! She’s like the member of the group that you first notice because of her visuals, and then you’re like semi-interested in that member and half keeping an eye on that member while you settle on a bias. And then once you get into the group more you find out that not only is she a visual but she also has such a cute personality? Like she’s more shy and dorky than you originally anticipated and then you fall for her double charms. (But you still gotta stay loyal to your bias lol)

the workout-aholic who basically lives in the gym and boy does it show

I’m putting Abby @hwangminyeo under here to because idk if she goes to the gym often or not but body goals 😭😭😭😭

the walking, living, breathing meme

@seonnho This is the one image I have of Jennie tbh… just one big meme (a cute one at that)!!! She makes the best textposts on her SVT blog. I love her sense of humor it’s just so…. relatable LOL. Is it because she’s a Seungkwan stan that she’s like this? It’s proven that Boo stans are the memest. I feel like she hasn’t made that many meme-y posts on here (or maybe I missed them :(( in which case I suck) but once she does 👀 Anyway I’ve talked to you like twice but I still love you c’:

I looked at the positions list before looking at Bonnie’s answers and thought Jennie would be perfect for this one and guess what… Bonnie’s already listed her LMAOOO PERFECT - Lillian

the one everyone has called “daddy” at some point

aaah no one I can think of because Daniel isn’t mutuals with us…… LOOOOL OMFG JUST KIDDDDDING (Lillian be like 😷😣🙏) Why did I even answer this one it’s so weird kfldjglkfdjgklfd

😷😣🙏 - Lillian

the ship that’s a hundred percent real and they know it

Is this even a question… @hwangminyeo and @minhwangs are the power couple!!! You always see them professing their love to each other on your dash LOL Romeong and Daliette are feeling threatened.

the short one that everyone is highkey afraid of

@minhwangs Sarah is a cutie but everyone knows that if you mess with her friends she’ll let you have it. She won’t hesitate to lash out at you if you dare insult the things and people she holds dear. So while she isn’t scary, she’s someone you don’t want to mess with once her protective side kicks in! But honestly it’s really sweet how even though she doesn’t let harsh words directed toward her bother her, she stands up for people ;___; She’s selfless that way!

the one that takes every opportunity possible to be extra as hell aka the variety king

@emperorhwangs Rui without a doubt is one of the funniest people here on Tumblr!! I love her sense of humor and even when she says the most random things like “a stick of rat deodorant” I just die laughing. I was contemplating between putting her for “the walking, living breathing meme” but I settled with this one because I associate her with Ong a lot! And we all know he’s the variety king so~ The captions in her gifs are the funniest and most extra ever, even the way she talks is super extra and funny.

the motherly one that takes care of the rest of their members and occasionally reprimands

@2hyeons Ying is more of an older sister type than the mom but she still gives off that caring vibe. She seems like the kind of sibling who barely talks to you because she’s stuck in her room all day doing work but she’ll also be there for you when you need it the most. Lowkey the kind of older sister who will call your cheating significant other over the phone just to scream at them and rat them out for hurting her little sibling loool. She’s more of an older sibling because while she takes care of you, she makes you want to take care of her too and cook her meals and check up on her once in a while to make sure she’s still sane c’:

@luminous-point Reni gives off such motherly vibes without even trying to idk why?? Not only because she’s 95 line! But she’s like your sweet hardworking mother (working hard doing translations 👍👍👍) who you always think of fondly whenever she appears on your dash. She always expresses her true feelings and stands up for what’s right, which is really difficult to do and as a result super admirable. She always has a very mature standpoint about things and avoids unnecessary drama. I feel like the dynamic is that we’re all little ducklings and she’s the mom!! But mom has to take care of herself too!!!

@p-arkwoojin and @minsbugi I put Jem & Kenia in this category because they’d make sure all the members are equally loved!! They both have huge hearts and no matter how many members make up their group(s), they’d take care of each and every one! - Lillian

the 4D member that looks cute in a sexy comeback, and sexy in a cute one

@hahasunqwoons! I think the ‘4D’ title really suits Summer even though she may not seem like it at first. But once she opens up to you, you’ll know what I mean looooool. She’s not 4D in the really wild sense but more of a lowkey kind of 4D (like Vernon!). Also I think she would fit both concepts! But she unintentionally shows reverse charms like in her Never dance cover (if you haven’t watched it yet, go watch it please. you won’t be disappointed), the song is more serious but she gives off a somewhat cute vibe! I think she could rock IOI’s Very Very Very as welllll :^) (future cover idea?)

the member who doesn’t have to worry about gravity bc they basically just flip everywhere

can’t think of anyone? :OOO

the extremely under appreciated one

ummm @kiminguy??? @guanlliver??? @lovebugi??? @wanhyun??? (Mutuals on here and our SVT blogs squad!! LOOL) I love all of them and their graphics to death I will literally make a blog and reblog all of their creations 50 million times like they deserve. Of course they all have such cute personalities dlkgjfdkj but I’ll spare you from my rambling and focus on their beautiful works~ Naomi has such soft, pastel graphics (pastels are one of my fave things in the universe) and she was one of my first favorite graphic makers in the Seventeen fandom back in the day. I followed her first and then when she followed me back I was SOOOO HAPPY OMG BC ONE OF MY FAVES NOTICED ME. Next we have Yasmin and although we haven’t talked much I really adore her graphics because they’re really unique! She uses vibrant colors and dark colors so well (a thing I’d like to learn how to do hehehe) AND also pastel graphics with vibrant coloring… a jack of all trades tbh. Next, there’s Jaymee, who I’ve been mutuals with forever on our SVT blogs but I never really got a chance to talk to until recently! (And she’s the sweetest…my one and only fan….LOOOL). Once again she works with both dark colors and pastel colors very well! Her edits and graphics have a minimalistic approach to them which I admire so so much because I always cram stuff onto a canvas and get bothered when there’s empty space in my graphics. Last but not least there’s IMA!!! My self-proclaimed little sister c’: I’ve known her for most of her time in the Seventeen tumblr community and I love seeing how her works changed over this period of time. But her works always have that special charm and uniqueness that you know right away that it’s her work! No one could imitate her style and pull it off! Inimitable seventeen carat hehe Ima always has a special place in my heart. I love her coloring style, I love her graphics style, I love her. But yea as you can tell I have much love for graphic makers and more especially underrated graphic makers! Graphic makers are a blessing to each and every fandom. Thank you.

also @tokkimingi​ like we’ve never talked before but Ale’s gifs and edits are soooo high quality and have the prettiest coloring and they deserve so so so so many more notes??? Like the Ren gifset I just reblogged….this is the kind of content that should receive 1k notes okay AAAAAH @ Ale, Lillian and I love your creations so much and you’re basically the go-to blog for NU’EST related gifs and stuff AAAAH 💕💕 

I AGREE WITH ALL OF THE ABOVE HOLY MOLY - Lillian

the one that finds pleasure in other members’ demise

I’m sure this goes on a lot when people tag each other in their bias wrecker posts cough when I send Bonnie black-haired Suga pics but I see @minhwangs​ and @hwangminyeo​ tagging each other in Daniel stuff sometimes and it’s so funny loool. I know you guys are Minhyun-biased but Daniel!!!!! - Lillian

[kihyunspanda]

ARMY PSA

Hello, fellow ARMY!

In light of recent events I feel like it’s time to address a few things.

We as ARMY have a bad reputation in the KPop community. People with bad attitudes and people who attack other groups, fandoms, and even members of BTS. This is unacceptable.

We should not have people say that they refuse to listen to or stan BTS because of ARMY.

Here are some Do’s and Don'ts for proper fandom behavior. Because whether we like it or not we DO represent our boys.

(I will be covering 5 areas and if anyone has anything to add, please do.)

1. Do’s and Don'ts for the Treatment of Bangtan Sonyeondan:

DO have a bias. (If you can’t choose, that’s okay too)

DON’T mistreat or attack other members who are not your bias.

They are a group. If you support one, you should support them all.

DO follow them on social media.

DON’T follow them around a city they’re visiting or around their home.

Stalking is NOT okay. Give them their privacy.

DO take pictures of them. In approved areas only.

DON’T break the rules that BigHit has put in place for taking pictures.

This applies to other rules as well. Those rules are in place for their protection and privacy as human beings.

DO go see them in concert in your country, state, area, etc. if you can.

DON’T purposely book a flight (or other transportation) you know they’re going to be on.

If you happen to be on the same transportation as them: Be respectful! Don’t bother them. Don’t take photos of them without their permission. If you happen to sit next to them or catch their eye: wave, smile, send finger hearts, etc. Show your love but treat them with the love and care they deserve as humans and our idols. If THEY offer to take a picture with you, then feel free. But they shouldn’t be living in fear of us, and Jin shouldn’t have to tell us to leave them alone. Common sense, people. Put yourself in their shoes.

DO watch their solo VLives.

DON’T ask for other members.

This is so important. They don’t HAVE to do them. They WANT to. Because they love us as much as we love them. If it’s not your bias and you don’t want to watch it… then don’t watch it. Simple. Asking for other members is so mean. Hobi should not feel like he has to pass on the phone to another member because he feels unwanted. Not only is it damaging to us Hobi stans, it hurts all of Bangtan. Especially Hobi. Or any of them. There are plenty of posts about this. So, I’ll leave it here.

2. Do’s and Don'ts for the Treatment of Other ARMY:

DO fangirl/fanboy with other ARMY about your favorite member(s).

DON’T attack other ARMY for their choice of favorite member(s).

Everybody has their own tastes.

DO support each other and make friends.

DON’T attack each other because of race, religion, sexual orientation, gender identity, etc.

Treat people the way you would want to be treated. Plain and simple. I won’t go any further into this subject, but this is soooo important and applies to everything on this list and everyone in your life. Hate only breeds hate. Let’s fight the hate with love and acceptance.

DO enjoy fanart, fan fictions, and any other fan-made things that are to your preference.

DON’T attack others for the things they enjoy, even if you don’t like it.

If you don’t like it and can’t look past it, just unfollow or walk away. No need to create drama. You have every right to voice your opinion, be angry and say whatever you want, but I urge you to treat others with respect and tolerance. Wouldn’t you want to be treated the same way? Every person has feelings. Also. Please don’t kink shame.

DO share fanart, fan fiction, fan-made stuff from the blogs, accounts you like.

DON’T, for the love of J-Hope, steal other people’s work and post it as your own.

If you want to repost on another site they are not on, want to translate ff into another language, etc. ASK THE CREATOR FOR PERMISSION. Each creator has their own rules and expectations from you as a reposter. (Is that even a word? It is now.) As a general rule, you need to link the original work to the original creator and their original post. There are plenty of posts about this, so I won’t say anything else on this subject.

DO thank and praise the creators for their work and for sharing it with the rest of us.

DON’T harass creators for updates or new content.

Creators work hard and are doing it on their own time for us to enjoy. Most have some form of FAQs posted for you to see. Search them out before you bombard them with questions they have already answered.

DO have fun at concerts, fan meets, fansigns, etc.

DON’T cause problems by pushing, shoving, hitting, yelling at other concert goers.

We are there to connect with each other over our love for the boys. By all means, make friends. But treat the people around you with the respect you would expect. Also. We are guests at venues. Please pick up after yourselves and treat staff with respect. They’re just doing their jobs.

3. Do’s and Don'ts for the Treatment of Other Idols/Groups/Bands/Artists (both Korean and non-Korean):

DO be happy for other artists’ wins.

DON’T attack them for winning over BTS.

It’s statistically improbable that they will win everything.

DO be respectful.

DON’T send hate or threaten them.

No need to be a jerk for no reason. We call that “petty”.

DO be supportive of collabs with other artists.

DON’T accuse other artists of using a collab to gain more fame.

The example of Wale and Namjoon is perfect. The behavior of some ARMY toward Wale is SHAMEFUL. Not only is it damaging to our reputation as fans, it damages the reputation of Namjoon. That is beyond horrible. They want to collaborate because they like the other’s music and respect them as an artist. Getting in the way of Namjoon making a connection with fellow artists is damaging to his career. Do you really want to be responsible for ruining an amazing opportunity for him?

4. Do’s and Don'ts for the Treatment of Other Fandoms:

DO be happy for other fandoms and their successes.

DON’T start fan wars by attacking their groups.

Again: petty

DO defend the boys from serious attacks by reporting users.

DON’T feed the trolls.

Engaging in arguments only makes the problem bigger. They want you to fight back. They’re trying to get a reaction out of you. Don’t let them have it. Also… Don’t be the person to start fan wars. If you see other ARMY behaving badly, please calmly and politely remind them who they represent.

DO take threats seriously.

DON’T try to handle it yourself.

Report. Report. Report.

5. Do’s and Don'ts for Social Media:

DO comment or reply to our boys’ posts. Show your love.

DON’T be inappropriate with your comments or replies!

Let’s all have some decorum, please. Refrain from being perverted towards them. And for the love of Hobi, DO NOT CALL THEM “DADDY” TO THEIR FACES. Online or in person. So not a good look.

DO share your fanart, poems, love letters, etc. with the boys.

DON’T share things that would make them uncomfortable.

Let’s keep it PG.

DO participate in Selca Day if you want.

DON’T be inappropriate.

Again: PG

DO respect their privacy.

DON’T share their location if you see them out somewhere.

Don’t make things difficult for them. Give them space. If you snap a few pictures because you saw them out and about at a museum or whatever… please wait to share it. Like 24 hours minimum.

Let’s just all behave with decorum and let’s show the KPop community that we are a positive force to be reckoned with. Let’s make the boys proud of us.

And this applies to more than just ARMY. This is a basic guideline for all fandoms and for life in general.

Maybe I should have just titled this: How To Be A Decent Human Being.

Thank you for sticking it out until the end. Please share and feel free to add anything I missed!

[guylty]

Confession: I don’t have any side dishes, collateral attractions or ‘guilty pleasures’ besides my one and only crush. I’m not a Whovian, either, but if I had to pick a favourite Doctor, it would probably be number 10. There’s something about David Tennant – apart from the delicious Scottish accent (check out this *fantastic* audio drama played by Tennant and Emilia Fox – I’ve heard it a couple of times and it is brilliant!) and the fabulous acting (I loved him in Much ado about nothing) – he came across as such a genuine, *NICE* bloke in WDYTYA. If you haven’t seen that yet – here are a few clips from that show.

In any case – I think Tennant is a noteworthy actor, and when I realised that he was on stage in London during my business trip, I immediately bought tickets to the show. The tagline on the show’s poster does not lie: Don Juan in Soho is the raunchiest, naughtiest play I have ever seen on stage. But boy, is it good, and funny, and fast-paced. And Tennant is just brilliant in the lead role – arrogant and abrasive, cajoling and compelling, you just want to be adored by Don Juan, even though you know he will spit you out the moment he has had you. His speech for hedonism as an expression of self, and his rant against social media, are almost sociocritical, and the little jibes against Trump were welcomed by the audience with much laughter and applause. The whole role – even though a comedy – takes guts, I think. Using that language (including the C word), engaging in some rather ‘lewd’ acts on stage, plus some of the politically controversial lines – not everyone can pull that off, but Tennant really did.

So, anyway, Guylty Pleasure was in town (see above) and watched Don Juan together with Hariclea on Wednesday. And since we were there, we decided to check out the SD. A great opportunity for a seasoned SD-goer like myself to see the spectacle from the perspective of an uninvolved onlooker – and to compare the experience with the previous occasions when I waited at the SD for Richard Armitage. This is what went down:

Hariclea and I were in no great hurry to get to the back of Wyndham’s Theatre, so by the time we rocked up there, the fans had already gathered along the metal barriers outside the SD. It’s hard to say how many people were there – maybe 70? The mood was relaxed, yet excited. On the wall outside the theatre a few notices informed the fans that the actors were only going to sign material that was related to the show, i.e. tickets, posters or programmes from Don Juan. After waiting 5 or 10 minutes, one of the security guards came out and gave a little speech. He pointed out that David Tennant was hosting some guests post-show in the theatre, so there was a) no guarantee that he would come out to sign, and b) if he did, they did not know *when* he would come out. However, he promised he would keep us informed so that we would not have to wait unnecessarily. Then he asked people to be considerate and friendly. David would sign one piece for people, or take a picture. “You are all here for the same reason, so please move out of the way once you have received your autograph, so that those behind you have a chance to get their autograph/picture, too.” I really appreciated that little speech from the security – just because it set the tone for the whole occasion, and because it not only laid down the rules but also took the fans seriously. Rather than making us feel like a nuisance, it reacted to the fact that fans by and large gather at the SD to show their interest and appreciation – something that is to be seen as a gift, not a threat.

Some of the younger cast members came out and left quickly, then Gawn Grainger, who plays Don Juan’s father. He sweetly took his time to chat with fans and sign autographs. Adrian Scarborough, who plays Don Juan’s sidekick Stan, was out next. Standing right at the back of the crowd – as a mere onlooker I didn’t want to take away the space for the *true* fans – I could hardly see him. But he signed his way from my corner of the assembled crowd back to the SD, and posed for pictures with fans. David Tennant’s arrival was announced by much cheering and whooping from the crowd, and he again made his way to the far corner of the assembled crowd, immediately launching into signing and posing for pics. At 1.85m (6’1″) he rose above the crowd, and I was able to get a few pics of him on my phone.

Again, Tennant also signed his way back to the SD, and from the metadata on my pictures I can say that the whole procedure took about 6 or 7 minutes. Once he went back inside the theatre, the crowd dispelled quickly and Hariclea and I took a nightcap in an adjoining pub.

The following night I spontaneously repeated the experience because to my surprise I had found out that our fellow fan Judit was in town and had tickets for Don Juan on Thursday. So I met her after the play, and we joined the SD once again. The procedure was much the same as the previous night, with roughly the same number of people in attendance, I think. This time there was no speech prior to the SD proceedings. However, there was a little bonus appearance – gorgeous “Capt. Jack Harkness” from Torchwood had been to see the play and visited DT afterwards.

Saw my lovely #DavidTennant in #DonJuaninSoho really amazing. See it if you can next week is their last week. #laughoutloudfunny Jb pic.twitter.com/DHEZUoGDsA

— John Barrowman MBE (@JohnBarrowman) June 1, 2017

//platform.twitter.com/widgets.js He came out the SD and briefly joked with the crowd before heading off into the night. (I totally love Barrowman, btw. There’s a celeb who *loves* interacting with people, you can tell, and who has no fear of touching and being touched.) And then it was actually Tennant who showed up (no Adrian Scarborough) and proceeded to sign and pose as he had done the night before. I think he took a bit longer that night, yet of course there was a big sigh of disappointment once he turned to go back inside. Judit did not get to see much of Tennant as we were at the back once again. But I held up my phone again and caught this:

There was an amazing buzz of energy about Tennant, I thought. Something very energetic and lively, almost hyperactive. (Although that might be a normal reaction after just having been on stage and presumably still surfing high on adrenaline). He smiled and posed and said thank you and smiled brightly again, moving along the long line of his fans. Occasionally I could hear his voice (although not what he said), he was bending down to smile into cameraphone, and to me it looked as if he was doing his best to give his fans what they desired. It’s hard to describe, but I felt a positive, cooperative vibe from him, which I think is also evident in the pictures – in the way he inclines his head to hear his fans, the way he bends down to pose for pictures, and in the smiles that look genuine, not forced.

So, two non-fangirling SDs under my belt, and what an interesting experience. It was quite different from how I previously experienced the SD. As my regular readers know, I have been to a few of them when Richard Armitage played Proctor in The Old Vic’s The Crucible, and I had the pleasure of seeing Love Love Love in New York last year. I really enjoyed the David Tennant SD experience – possibly more so than the Armitage SD. For one simple reason: I was uninvested. It didn’t matter to me whether I was going to get a signature or a photo; I could relax and just observe, no mad heartbeat because *OMGmycrush* *he is there* *gasp* *he looks sooooo gooooood* *OMGILoveHim*… Really, the SD is not good for a fangirl’s heart. With RA, I never really feel like saying anything (beyond a polite “You were great in this. Please sign here.”), and I tend to be so nervous, I can’t even look the man in the eye. Much like a 15-year-old school girl meeting her crush. Thinking about this, it makes me wonder why I am putting myself through this *at all*… OTOH there *have* been a couple of RA SDs where I stood back and observed rather than take part, and those were quite enjoyable, too, because I had given up on the expectation of getting an autograph or a word out of the man. So the conclusion may simply be, to change my SD mode to background ogling lurking rather than seeking interaction. It seems much easier to get a *look* in, than an autograph…

And there may be also a difference in how these two actors, for whom I have queued at the SD, “perform” at such occasions. I don’t mean this as a value judgment, but it seems to me that Richard is a rather more reluctant SD participant than Tennant, flummoxed at the attention directed at him, and unwilling/unable/too humble (??) to receive the “gift” of goodwill from his fans? I don’t know whether Tennant *thrives* on the SD encounter with his fans, but to me it looked as if he was able to take the SD not just as something where he is *giving* to his fans, but also as an opportunity to recharge his own batteries with the admiration and positive feedback offered to him there. I can’t deny that what comes across to me as Richard’s “SD reluctance”, makes me sometimes feel slightly guilty about waiting at the SD. As in: by being there, I am adding pressure on him to put on an SD show that he doesn’t really enjoy. I certainly react to what I perceive (which may actually something different than what other fans perceive), and that has an effect on my enjoyment of the SD… in Tennant’s case it was unreservedly positive.

So, overall, a really nice 6 minutes, even if we had to wait at least twice as long for that conclusion. But Tennant is worth the accolades, the attention and the wait. A great actor – and a pretty cool bloke, too. I think I will have to catch up with his back catalogue now.

PS: No worries, Richard is still #1, though 😉

    OT: Observations on the SD with #DavidTennant Confession: I don't have any side dishes, collateral attractions or 'guilty pleasures' besides my one and only crush.

[daebakinc]

B1A4 Fanaccount 2/15/17

This is without a doubt the most fun concert I’ve ever been to. I’ll admit I underestimated my boys. I was expecting a nice show and they blew it out of the friggin water!

The start was off to a very rough start, I’ll admit. They, not B1A4 but the venue or whoever ran the concert, did piss-poor planning so VIPs only got in 20 minutes early, put the two different ticket lines side by side, and passed out the merch outside. Needless to say, I wasn’t in a great mood.

That all changed though after they started playing some of the songs. Never, ever, have I heard so many fans sing entire songs like our Banas did tonight. It was pretty close to word for word as us non-Korean speaking fans can do. And they sang it loud. There were so many fanboys, and I mean legit fanboys who sang along to every word, and lots and lots of moms who weren’t just escorts. It really felt like a bunch of friends already having a good time. That was just the beginning though.

Once the boys came out, the energy absolutely exploded and it never simmered down. Song after song, we were all jumping and waving our hands and singing our hearts out. You could tell the boys loved it because they held out their mics to us so many times and CNU and Gongchan, I think, took out their ear pieces a few times to hear us.

Ahhh, these kids. Baro was basically the MC and told us they’d practiced English lines for us so we could understand them. They really did use only English until they said their thank yous, but more on that later. They were so so sweet. They each paid attention to every side and took care not to forget the balcony, took so so many selcas with fans’ phones, and CNU threw out everyone’s towels lol. They also threw out more hearts than any other group I think in the history of Kpop has lol.

I’ll put the setlist at the end of the account for those who want it, but y’all are lucky I remembered. B1A4 isn’t known for their dancing, but I couldn’t look away from the stage they were so good. And that’s not even talking about the singing, which they all hit pretty near perfect. You should have heard when they did a short acapella version of “Remember”: it was perfect. They mostly sang songs from their new album, but then they decided to take us down memory lane. The goofs told us they needed our energy for a time machine, which they made sure to mention was expensive, to go back to their debut days. That started a mash-up of their O.K days all the way up to Solo Day. After a few more songs later, they made “I’ll find you” their encore song. When they said their thank yous, even more cheese came out. 

This time they did use a translator, but it doesn’t matter. Gongchan thanked us very sweetly for always supporting them even though we’re abroad. Sandeul sang a bit of “Can’t Take My Eyes Off of You” and fell into a giggling fit when we sang it back to him. Jinyoung also thanked us for being their for them and promised never to forget international Bana. Baro admitted he was worried we’d forget them since they’d only been here 3 times before (he forgot about the 3rd time so Gongchan initiated a very cute line of finger shaking at him). CNU aside from saying he already missed us, said he only had three words for us: thank you, I love you, and let’s be together forever.

Turns out they were pulling our legs because a few minutes after they left the stage, Jinyoung called out from behind the curtain “Are you guys still here? Why don’t you go home?” Then Baro asked if we wanted more and if we did, to scream. Of course we did and they came back for a kick ass encore. Every Bana in the place was jumping, pumping their arms, singing along into a frenzy for the last song, “Good Timing,” which I kid you not, we played 5 times. All the boys were bouncing around with us so you could tell they were as hyped as us. Really, that’s the most fun I’ve ever felt at a concert ever.

For some more detail on the members:

Jinyoung. Jinyoung. That boy smirked every time he saw a fangirl, or fanboy because holy crow there was a ton of them(rock on!), he smirked. So basically that proud smile was on his face the whole time. He was the last one in line for the hi-touch and he really is incredibly handsome. 

CNU was trying his damnedest to make me forget I had any other bias, I swear. There was way too much extra sticking out of the tongue and lip biting and hip thrusting for me to survive. No one was intended to, I think. He totally rocked his parts too, which didn’t help. Nor did the fact that he took off the jacket and vest part of their outfits relatively early on and so he was only wearing the thin white shirt and fancy necktie that kills me. His eye smile made me want to melt when I got to him in the hi-touch(he was second). He almost didn’t notice my shirt but when I pointed to it, he said “Oh, wow!” and craned his head to really look at it because a manger was literally pushing me on to the next boy. If you didn’t see it before, this was the shirt I made:

Sandeul is one of the cutest human beings and no one can convince me otherwise. He didn’t interact as much with us at first because he was busy singing his heart out, but it was so worth it. He belted out every note perfectly and it was magic. He kept playing around with the others and after a few songs he was throwing hearts at every opportunity. It really was something to see just how much of himself he poured into each and every song though. I feel kind of bad because when I got to him in the hi-touch I was still looking at CNU to see his reaction for a few seconds, but Sandeul was all giddy smiles when I did look at him. He really loves his Banas.

I think Baro really, really wanted to do his best so he seemed a little nervous at first, but when he let loose, the kid let loose. Also, he’s never allowed to wear headbands again, for my sanity lol. When they sang Glass of Water, he sprayed the crowd with his water bottle and it looked really cool. Then, during their encore, he brought out a full case of water bottles for him and the others to fling out over us. I will admit some water from his, Sandeul, and Jinyoung’s bottles went in my mouth. I regret nothing. Anyway, he was so pumped and it just made us all give 10 times more and it was lovely to see. He was the first for hi-touch and all I can say is his love for us shone in his eyes. 

Gongchan is a precious child that needs his own protection squad forever. He waved and threw hearts at every single opportunity. He was the one who moved around the stage the most along with Baro, I think, and he was all gentle smiles and getting close. I’m pretty sure he also took the most selcas with fans’ phones. He was the last one off the stage because he kept taking phones too. I’d never really paid attention to his voice but it was beautiful and now I have to go back and listen especially for him. He himself is a beautiful person too. From the hi-touch, my impression of him was gentle and his smile is something to behold.

I really can’t say how much fun I had despite the cruddy beginning. I was scared of being in the pit, but they made me forget that and just have an awesome time. I got a workout with all the jumping and fist pumping, but it’s the most fun workout I’ve ever had. Tonight, B1A4 reminded me why I became a Bana and stan this group of incredibly sweet and talented men. They remind me to let loose and have fun every once in awhile and that life really can be very, very good.

SET LIST: 

Melancholy

In the Air

Oh My God

Nightmare

You

In Dreams

Yesterday

Sweet Girl

Lonely 

A Lie

(Crushing On You)

If….

Mash-up of(in order): O.K, Beautiful Target, Baby I’m Sorry, Baby Good Night, Tried to Walk, What’s Happening, Solo Day

Glass of Water

(Another song I’m trying to remember, but Jinyoung wrote it!)

I Will Find You

Drunk on You

Sparkling

Good Timing (x5 lol)

[speakingmyself]

Let Us Shine: Stanning BTS and Dancing in the Rain

Originally published on Medium on May 14, 2019

Recently I had the awesome opportunity to be a guest on my amazing friend Lindsay’s podcast, “I’ll Be There for You.” The focus of this particular podcast is to invite indivduals to speak about something in pop culture that helped them through a hard time. It was no question that I would talk about boy bands. I stanned N’Sync before stanning was a word. Years later, I had a One Direction era. A big one. And while that didn’t necessarily go the way I thought it would (I had way too much optimism in that “short hiatus” talk), I have no regrets.

Fast forward to November 2017. The American Music Awards are airing soon and I’m seeing ads about the “biggest K-pop boy band” performing. Naturally, I had to see what that was about. I watched in awe as 7 guys did incredible choreography and sang an amazingly catchy song…all live. I was impressed, confused, and interested. So I quickly fell down the rabbit hole. I learned their names, their personalities, their roles. I watched the music videos, listened to the albums, watched the Run episodes and random tv and award show appearances, and read so many lyric translations. And before I knew it, I was hooked.

I talk about the journey into BTS in the podcast so won’t go too far into that here but needless to say, I’m so, so glad I found this group. From the start, I was so drawn to the idea of a group of 7 very different and remarkably talented guys who were the underdogs. They came from the small company, they sang and rapped about things that could be considered taboo while I found them relatable. They’ve learned from their mistakes, have grown into true artists, and stayed unbelievably humble along the way. Every day, I am proud to be a fan.

Concerts have always been a major part of my life, as can be evidenced by the list I’ve been keeping since 9th grade of every artist I’ve ever seen live. BTS is #120 and I’ve seen them 4 times in 8 months, all here in Chicago. I don’t have any ARMY friends here. I’m so lucky that one of my great friends, who happens to live out of town, asked me about BTS soon after I became a fan and got hooked right there with me. The concerts provided us opportunities to reunite and hang out all while having the most amazing weekends.

The two shows from the Love Yourself tour in October were awesome. I was so struck by the diversity of the crowd and the way the fans turned the evening concert into a full day event. It was so amazing to see the dancing I love so much be performed live, along with absolutely amazing vocals and rapping of songs I’ve grown so attached to. And the antics and silly moments were unforgettable. But this past weekend at Soldier Field…I don’t know how anything can beat that.

As you probably know, the first of the Love Yourself: Speak Yourself shows here in Chicago was absolutely freezing. The rain stopped before the show began but in true Chicago fashion, despite it being mid-May, it was COLD. But it was amazing. To see “Not Today” performed live was a dream come true for me as that song was my anthem when I was in the hospital about 15 months ago for a heart procedure. To hear Make It Right and Mikrokosmos in the encore was an emotional rollercoaster that I couldn’t really prepare myself for. It was amazing and worth not being able to feel my toes.

And then there was Sunday. The rain didn’t let up, the wind was blowing, and I was nervous. I convinced myself they’d go easier on the dancing to avoid any slipping and maybe they’d just really have a hard time in the rain. As Namjoon said, in their 6 years of performing, this had never happened before! But holy crap was I wrong, these guys gave it their ALL. Despite Jungkook not flying during Euphoria (which was absolutely the right and perfect choice), they performed to their absolute best ability and put on the best concert I’ve seen since I went to my first concert 20 years ago.

Everything was perfect. It feels like a dream. And my friend and I were so, so lucky to have seats really close to the side of the main stage so at some point, each boy came over to wave to our section and for the first time, I could see their faces and features not through a screen. That part still doesn’t feel real. I have appreciated and loved this band for a year and a half and to finally really see them meant so much. It’s honestly hard to put into words.

It rained the whole show. The whole damn show. And it was magical. The fireworks, the ARMY bombs and phones lighting the sky, all while hearing the songs that remind me to love myself, to stand up for myself, and to be proud of how far I’ve come….the only word to describe it really is that it was beautiful. Hearing the boys thank us and say how it was a night they’d never forget meant so much. It felt like 60,000 fans and 7 boys from Korea all experienced something so special together, something that we all will remember forever.

It’s been two days and I’m still processing it. I took photos and filmed videos but also told myself to put the phone down and take it all in. I looked around this massive stadium that serves as a cultural landmark in the city I’ve lived in my whole life and I felt so accepted and understood. I got emotional as we all sang “You’ve got me” and “I’ve got you” because even though we all are strangers, we are all in this fandom experience together. Many of us have had experiences where we’ve had to defend our love of this band and this music. Others like myself have had to say that age doesn’t mean you can’t be a fan. We all have our own stories to tell and our own lives we are living but we have this major thing in common. We’ve been positively impacted by the music and the people of BTS.

The pop-up store has since closed and I am no longer seeing ARMYs on the street in BTS and BT21 gear. But there is still so much more to come and to enjoy with this band and I cannot wait to be a witness to it. Whether it’s watching the upcoming appearances on my tv, following the concerts on twitter, or watching Youtube videos on my phone on my commute to work, I cannot wait for what’s to come. I cannot wait to continue to find reasons to love this band and to be a part of this fandom. Thank you BTS, for encouraging me to speak myself and love myself, and for giving me the most incredible concert experience on Sunday night. I purple you.

[dovelikewar]

Fandoms I’m Thankful For

Hello again, friends! I hope this post finds you well. I am writing this ahead of time because as you are seeing this, I am in Florida enjoying Universal Studios and Disney World over Thanksgiving break. I’m super excited and a bit nervous as it will be my first time flying or going to Florida. The vacation is MUCH needed though!

Since this will be posted on Thanksgiving week, I thought, what better to talk about than fandoms I am thankful for? I’ll talk about fandoms that have had a significant impact on my life in some way other than simply making me happy because all of the fandoms I am or have ever been in do that. So, let me just get right into it.

1. The Naked Brothers Band

If you have never heard of this band/show/movie, you may be a bit confused right now, but let me explain. The Naked Brothers Band started as a mockumentary film centered around Nat and Alex Wolff. After the movie was shown at a film festival and received high acclaim, Nickelodeon took ownership of the film and aired it on television. After that, Nickelodeon decided to produce a mockumentary style television series following the band a few years after the movie’s plot. So, why the heck am I including it in this blog you may ask?

NBB is what I consider to be my first fandom. I first saw the movie when I was 8 and fell in love with it. I specifically remember watching the second episode of the series when it premiered about a month after the movie. I watched it with my dad after I old him that I really liked the show and wanted him to see it. I remember him telling me that I blushed every time I saw Nat, and of course I kept denying it because what 8 year old girl wants to admit to their dad that they have a crush on a boy. He knew though.

2. Big Time Rush

As I was dealing with the reality that I wasn’t getting a new season of NBB, I saw a commercial for a new Nickelodeon show about “normal” guys that work to form a boy band. It seemed decent enough, so when it premiered, I decided to check it out. I had NO idea what I was getting myself into. By this time it was 2009, and the world had officially converted over to DVD players. For the first time, if I wanted to watch my favorite show, I had no choice but to watch it when it came on. I very quickly became just about as obsessed with Big Time Rush as I was with NBB. My mom frequently called them my New Kids On The Block, and from what I can tell, I would agree with her.

BTR just delivered another series of firsts. Aside from getting every piece of merchandise I possibly could, Big Time Rush was the reason I made my fan account on Twitter that I still use for everything today. They were also my first two concerts and the first celebrities I’ve ever met. I’m pretty sure the first time I ever cried over a band that I stanned was when I cried when my step mom surprised me with tickets for my first concert. BTR provided me with my first experiences really being a part of a fandom community of people who live tweeted episodes, fought to get concert tickets, and actually got to interact with our idols and each other. It’s crazy to think how far fandom communities have come since then and how much technology has been a part of that change. BTR, along with NBB, are a band and show that I will always consider an integral part of who I am as a person today. If I hadn’t gotten as into them as I was, I don’t know if I would even be the same person that I am now. No joke.

3. Emblem3

For those who don’t know Emblem3 was a 3 member reggae-pop band that rose in popularity due to The X-Factor. I found out about them after they were signed to Simon Cowell’s record label though. Their mission as was always to spread positivity and happiness through their music. They were also part of an organization called Team Inspire that aimed to spread positivity and inspiration by “living life beyond themselves.” Their fanbase was immediately one that I wanted to be a part of after I saw all of the great things that the band was doing.

E3 are on this list for multiple reasons. The first is that they encouraged me to make a difference in my school and community, even if it was a small difference. Being socially anxious, something like starting a club is something I would never do. However, it was only after I saw all of the great things that Team Inspire was doing that I was influenced to start a chapter at my school. I went through the whole rigamarole of everything necessary to start a club, and got it running and served as the president for the one year that the club existed. I recruited a couple other people that I knew at school who liked Emblem3 and eventually drew in more people as well. Overall, throughout that year, we managed to do some nice things for some nice people, and I think acheived our goal of spreading positivity. That club is still one of my proudest achievements.

Secondly, Emblem3 helped me through one of the most difficult times in my life. In mid-December of my sophomore year of high school, my mom’s apartment was set on fire in the middle of the night. It was the scariest moment in my life, and ultimately left my mom, sister, and I to be placed in a not so nice part of town with only a portion of our belongings having been saved. As I went through this, it could have been easy to give up, but I didn’t. I listened to Emblem3 and was uplifted and started to think on the positive side. I even went to the Team Inspire meeting that was scheduled on the same day that the fire happened. It made me feel better. The fire still effects me emotionally, and I’m sure it will throughout my life, but it is because of Emblem3 and Team Inspire that I didn’t and don’t let it ruin me.

I got a sweatshirt that Christmas from my grandparents on my dad’s side that had the E3 lyric “rise above and grow some love” on it. It was basically the equivalent of a tattoo for me at that point, because I wore it everyday (up until I lost it. RIP sweatshirt). But that lyric will always mean the world to me, as it kept me going for a really long time. To this day, my favorite quote is one from E3 member, Drew Chadwick: “I realized if I am nothing, I have every opportunity to become something.”

Unfortunately, Emblem3 isn’t really together anymore making music anymore, but I will forever hold dear all of the lessons they taught me and all of the smiles they provided me with. They were even my first general admission concert, and I will never ever forget how amazing of an experience it was. I will always hold them in my heart. (this section got real long. I apologize.)

That is it for this week, friends. This got a bit lengthy, and it isn’t even everything. 😬 I didn’t include Sam and Colby because I’ve already done a whole post about them which you can view here if you’d like. I hope you enjoyed reading if you made it through all that. I hope everyone in America has a great Thanksgiving. Eat lots of pie and tell all of your family and friends you love them. It could make them smile. I’ll see you next week when I’m back from Florida, refreshed and hopefully not dead. 

- 🕊️ ❤️ 🏹