#thankfully it was just my friends and bf in the car w/ me at the time

[doctordiscosbignaturals]

@u-friend-or-ufo 🫠

[fake-bleach]

feels so right | dbf!joel miller x reader

summary: Your college boyfriend's a dick, and it doesn't help that he dragged you along with him to a bar just to treat you like shit. You plan on catching a ride home after an incident between you two, but turns out that your dad's best friend's there too, and he saw everything. He ends up offering you a ride instead, but there's no promises that you make it back home for the night.

word count: 9.9k (yeah i went overboard oops..)

warnings/disclaimers: (18+ only!) fem!afab!reader (no use of y/n), this might be the filthiest smut i've ever written, porn w/ plot, reader has a horrible/mean bf, prolly unrealistic car sex but idc, joel can carry reader, thigh riding, praise/degrading, kinda mean joel, oral (m receiving), deepthroating/facefucking, use of pet names (honey, sweetheart, baby, girl, etc), piv, unprotected rough sex, bit of a size kink, joel's hugeee, spanking, bit of choking, creampie/coming inside, literally all that good filthy shit lolll, lil cheesy ass ending

btw this can be for both game/hbo!joel cus i had them both in mind while writing <3

ao3 link | masterlist

Music fills your ears as you take a sip of your drink, sitting on an uncomfortable stool by the bar you were at.

Your boyfriend dragged you here with him, but not out of the kindness of his heart, no. You had made plans with him to spend some time together; to stay in and watch a movie, in hopes that it'd somehow heal your declining relationship, and he thankfully agreed.

That was weeks ago now, and here you were; stuck at a bar with the rest of his friends all because he forgot about his plans with you and insisted that he'd spend the night with the ones he sees more often than you.

It was either you or them, and in his eyes, it was always them.

"Fuck, babe! If you wanna be with me so fucking bad, just come with me— since you won't get off my fucking ass if you don't. Jesus Christ, I mean, you'd think I'd be able to spend one fucking night with my friends.. So fucking clingy."

His words rung in your ears as your eyes got lost in the remaining alcohol in the glass in your hand, slowly swirling it around with dread filling your face and entire being. You knew your boyfriend wasn't the best guy in the world, but you loved him at one point, and your heart clung onto the hope that he would start to actually love you back.

You should've known that your hopes would never be enough.

Snapping yourself out of it, you lift your head up to turn and look at him, his fourth glass of whiskey nearly empty, not giving a single fuck about you. No, his focus was always on his friends.. always on the shit that he prioritized over you.

You could only take so much.

Lifting yourself up from the stool, your feet reach the ground as you make your way over to him, tapping his shoulder to get his attention. Nothing. Again, you tap him even harder, and he finally notices you for the first time in the 30 minutes you've been there.

"What the fuck? What do you want now?" He asks you, scoffing as he whips his head to turn to you.

You gasp at him, mouth open as you stare at him in disbelief. "What the fuck do I want? I want you to fucking pay attention to me, you asshole! Have you even thought about me the entire time we've been here at all?!" You exclaim harshly, your heart racing as your anger rises.

He just shakes his head at you, the annoyance in his face incredibly evident as his friends laugh faintly at the scene in front of them. He doesn't even attempt to apologize to you, the tone in his voice cruel as he scolds you, "I never even fucking wanted you here in the first place, and you didn't get the damn hint. Not my fucking fault, babe."

He turns his body to look back at his friends, completely avoiding you and the situation, and clearly not giving a shit to fix it. Your anger gets the best of you, reaching for his shoulder to harshly pull it back so he could just look at you, but he grabs your wrist, squeezing it tightly as he drags your body to him.

Your face is just inches away from his now, gasps coming out of your mouth as his grip tightens. "Don't you ever fucking touch me like that again.. Get the fuck out of here, bitch." He berates you, his breath oozing of booze as he shoves your wrist to push you away from him.

Your eyes fill with tears as you back away from him, your hand reaching to your wrist to soothe it, rubbing it softly. You glance around the room, embarrassed at what had just occurred. Eyes from all around the bar are on the two of you now, but there's a pair that immediately catch your eye.

Joel.

Your dad's best friend, and the man who practically watched you grow up right in front of his eyes.

His gaze is hard on you, face filled with growing anger as he watches what your dickhead of a boyfriend just did to you. Your face grows cold as you stare at him, eyes flickering from his face to the floor as you grip your bag, not wanting to have him confront you. You were embarrassed enough.

You glance back at your boyfriend one last time, a slight frown fixed on your lips as you rush out the door, gasping for air while your teary eyes pace around your surroundings. Frantically pulling your phone out of your bag, you open the Uber app, wanting to get a ride home and out of here as soon as you could.

"Honey? You alright?"

Your body jumps slightly as you turn your head to stare at the source of the voice, eyes fixed to recognize Joel, his face filled with concern and his gaze now soft on you. You swallow as you breathe out, wiping the tears that were just about to fall from your eyes.

Gaining the courage to speak, you choke out faintly, not wanting to reveal your emotions to him. "J-Joel, I— Yeah, I'm okay.. it's okay. Sorry you had to see that, I.. didn't know you came here.."

You turn your head to stare back down at your phone, weak fingers trying their best to tap on the buttons to get you a driver here as soon as possible.

Joel's hand just reaches over the ones gripping onto your phone, slowly pushing them down and away from your focus to make you look up at him. His eyes are gentle and warm, boring into yours.

"Don't do that, sweetheart.. I've known y'long enough to know that it isn't," His soft words soothe you, looking down at your somber face, "C'mon.. Why don't y'let me take you home? Let's get you outta here.." He offers, moving his hand behind the small of your back to guide you wherever his truck was parked.

You sniffle and nod as you give into his generosity, knowing that you just wanted and needed to be cared for right now, whether or not it was just by Joel's benevolence.

His stare is fixed on you as the two of you make your way to his truck, feeling a sense of responsibility and urge to protect you. You were the loveliest girl he's ever known in his entire life, and it appalled him at how you could be with an asshole like that.

Walking up to the passenger side with you right behind him, he opens the door up for you, gesturing you to get in. "C'mon, honey.. There y'go.." He whispers out, gently shutting it behind you once you're securely inside.

Joel gets in the driver's seat now, putting his seatbelt on after you as he turns the engine on, putting the car in reverse to get out of there, knowing that you probably wanted to leave the area as fast as possible.

Silence fills the space between you as the only sound that can be heard are the tires on the road, making you gulp softly. You then glance at him, clearing your throat and licking your drying lips, "I.. I promise, he's not always like that, Joel.. He's a nice man.. I—"

Your voice fails you as you finish, the uncertainty in your tone not even convincing yourself. You're lying straight through your teeth, and Joel knows it too.

He lets out a heavy scoff, shaking his head as his eyes focus on the road in front of him. Glancing at you, he chuckles, "Right.. A 'nice man', huh?" He starts, making you turn away from him to look down at your lap, fidgeting with your fingers, "A 'nice man' wouldn't do that to you, honey.. Seems to me you've never felt how a real man should treat ya."

Your head turns to look at him quickly, scoffing back at him as you look at him, shocked. You don't even know why you're bothering to defend your shitty boyfriend, but for some reason, you wanted to prove to Joel that you were mature enough to make the right decisions.. to be with the right man.

"You don't even know him, Joel.. I.. I was being clingy, alright? He wanted to hang out with his friends instead of me tonight and I insisted I went too! You.. you'd act like that too if you were ever with me.." You tell him, your voice growing small towards the last part of your little speech, self-deprecation filling your mind along with your boyfriend's words.

It doesn't seem to make Joel any happier, making him suddenly pull over to the side of the road, putting the car in park. He huffs, removing his seatbelt as you follow his movements. Pausing to take a moment to try and compose himself, he finally looks at you, mouth open in disbelief. "You think I'd act like that if I were in his position? Think I'd fuckin' push you away like that? No, honey, god, no— you've got it all wrong."

You swallow as you stare at him, eyes confused and trying to understand what he was implying. He turns away from you for a moment, licking his lips as he breathes in sharply. "No fuckin' man right in the head would ever push you away like that, sweetheart.. No, he's a fuckin' boy who won't even cherish such a.. pretty girl like you."

Joel shakes his head, taking that pause between his words to look at you up and down, exhaling hard as he puts his fist to his face, his arm resting on the side of his window. He just stares back out through the windshield, your body stuck in place, breath hitching as you process it all.

"The hell would your dad think.. f'he ever saw that, huh? Boy's damn lucky I didn't do shit to him.. Lucky I didn't fuck m'up." He exclaims, scoffing softly as he looks at you for a moment.

Your chest rises as you breathe in softly, mind racing to figure out what to say. Your stomach is filled with faint butterflies from Joel's words, yet you knew that he'd never possibly think of you that way. He was just trying to comfort you.. right?

Your eyes are set on your lap, pausing before stuttering out, "Look, Joel.. I get it, you've known me my whole life, but I know what I'm doing. I'm not some dumb little girl anymore.." You finish, lifting your head to look at him, hoping that he'd finally believe you.

Joel's always treated you the same way he has when you were a kid, and it always frustrated the hell out of you. It's no doubt that Joel was an attractive man; you realized that when you were in high school, especially when your friends would come to your house to gawk at him at parties and family gatherings. You weren't blind, but you knew your attraction for him would get you nowhere.. not when he saw you the same way all these years.

At least, to you.

His head finally turns to you, eyes set on yours now, "You're a big girl now, huh.. s'that right? Y'gonna tell me that when you're with an asshole like that?" He chuckles out, cocking his head as he shakes it, "Thought you were better than that, baby.. That you'd actually give yourself to someone who deserves you.."

"Guess you're still that dumb little girl."

His words sting, making your eyes harden with your lips pressed tightly together. You scoff at him, tone harsh and direct, "The fuck do you want from me, Joel? What, y'want me to give myself to a real man like you?" spewing out the words without even giving it a second thought.

He immediately spits out what he's been thinking the entire time, nodding his head almost condescendingly as he inches his face closer to yours, "Yeah, that's what I fuckin' want. Maybe it'll knock some damn sense into that dumb head of yours, huh?”

You grit your teeth, heart thumping out of your chest as you rasp out, "You wouldn't even have the fucking guts, old man," but you knew damn well that you craved it. Craved him and the endless possibilities of what he could do to you. Breathing heavily, you can't deny the slick growing against your folds and through your panties.

Joel just grins at you, his gaze never leaving yours, "S'that right, honey? M' just some.. old man to you?" He snickers, his tongue poking out of his cheek for a moment, "Y'think I never noticed you all these years? Never heard you and your lil' friends talkin' about me?"

You gulp as your lick your drying lips, face softening while your heart races. Shaking your head to deny his accusations, your body freezes at the realization that he knows.

"Yeah.. you're not so slick, baby. Could see you watchin' me all these damn years.. Tellin' everyone how much you want me.. Y'can deny it all you want, sweetheart, but I see right through you. Right through this act."

He smirks as your eyes dart to the floor to avoid his stare, head tilting down as you fidget with your hands. Your body grows cold as you shake your head softly, denying the fact of the matter.

Joel's hand reaches up towards your face, his thumb and index finger lifting your head to look up at him, gripping onto your chin. "Ain't that right?" He chuckles out, making you turn your head to look away from him again nervously, but he doesn't let that slide.

He tuts his tongue, shaking his head as his grasp on your chin tightens just enough to have a firm grip on you, forcing you to look right at him. "No, no, don't do that, honey.. Look at me." He demands, your eyes finally staring into his own. You clear your throat, body shaking slightly as your adamant arousal for him increases.

You begin to stutter out, gulping, "J-Joel..", but he just cuts you off, implicit and direct with his intentions.

"Y’gonna let me fuck some sense into you, baby? That what you want? You’re about a second away from begging me for it, I fuckin’ see it. Can practically smell it off you, too." Joel spits out, his tone cocky and hitting directly to your core as he glances down at your thighs clenching together, “N’ look at you here..”

He chuckles out, removing his fingers from your chin to glide them down to your trembling thighs, his fingers almost pressing into the crevice that your thighs were pressed so tightly together to create. He wets his lips as his dark gaze glances back up to your face, whispering out desperately, "Tell me you want this, honey.. Tell me n' I'll make you forget all about your lil' boyfriend."

You breathe out through your mouth heavily, lips falling a bit open as your mind races. You've thought about this moment for so long now, and you could finally have it..

Fuck it.

Wetting your lips, you quickly put them on Joel's, desperation seething out of you as your eyes shut tightly. You moan into the kiss, Joel groaning into it too as he reaches his hands for your waist, gripping onto it tightly. He almost lifts you up, gesturing for you to get on top of his lap, needing to be close to you. You just follow his request, lifting yourself up from the passenger seat to fall into his lap and straddle his waist, immediately whimpering at the feeling of his bulging crotch pressing into your panties.

You had hoped that wearing a dress tonight would be a good choice, and you were right.

Breaking away from the kiss, the two of you gasp for air, breathing in heavily as you stare at Joel with delirious eyes, nearly high off the taste of him. He just smirks at you, reaching for your cheek to hold onto it, caressing it softly. "Bout' fuckin' time, baby.. Thought you'd never get the hint." He pants out, bringing your face close to press a dirty kiss on your lips, his tongue pushing against yours.

Your impatience gets the best of you, gripping his broad shoulders with your hands as you gain enough leverage to grind your core against his crotch, moaning loudly at the friction. You can already feel how huge he is, your cunt throbbing at the thought of it stretching you out.

His eager hands move down to grip your ass, moving you exactly how he wants, pressing you down onto him even harder. His lips break away from yours, groaning out, "Fuck, baby.. Fuckin' sexy, look at you.." He says, his gaze on your desperate face and glancing down at your hips and crotch grinding against him, "Shit.. That's it.. Pretty girl like you knows how to move."

You whimper at his words, growing wetter at the rough control he has on your body, and you love it. You can't help but let out little gasps, the desire you have for him increasing every time your bodies press together, making you crave his cock even more with each second that passes.

"F-Fuck.. need you, Joel, please.." You whine out, making his eyes flash up at yours as he chuckles, gripping onto your ass even tighter. He just shakes his head, saying, "No, baby.. Y'gonna take what you need from me right here. Wanna s'ya drench my thigh.."

"You do that f'me.. come all pretty & put on a lil' show for me? Maybe I'll give ya what y'want.." Joel mutters out to you, his lips just inches away from yours as he stares into your eyes, filled with lust and an intense ache for you. He wants to savor your body as long as he possibly can.

You nod your head quickly, biting your lower lip gently as you move your legs wrapped around him to sit in between one of his large thighs, moaning out once the rough fabric of his jeans hits your throbbing cunt.

You're soaked through your panties at this point, and you don't waste a second chasing your release. Your hips slowly start to move back and forth, grinding against his thigh as you whine. Licking your lips, you pant out, stuttering out his name repeatedly as your body does all the work for you. You're not even thinking at this point; your mind's completely gone blank and focused on one thing.

"That's it, honey.. Keep goin'.. Pretty lil' thing's so needy." Joel lets out, a low groan coming out as he watches your desperate face, staring right back at him with heavy eyes. It makes his cock grow even harder, knowing that he's finally got you like this.

His hands move to grip your hips, guiding them faster as they move to your ass, squeezing it harshly as a low chuckle escapes his throat. You gasp out at the touch, encouraging you to grind down on him even faster, stimulating your swollen clit as you cry out at the feeling.

Heat flows down to your cunt and lower stomach as your climax slowly begins to build up inside of you, and it's almost like Joel can feel it. Feeling how close you are, with your soaked pussy and slick drenching his jeans and thigh.

Just like he wanted.

One of his hands lifts up to smack your ass, an unrelenting force making you whine out at the sudden strike. It sends butterflies to your stomach and a sharp jolt to your core, forcing a moan out of you and a whine of his name on your tongue.

"Sorry, baby.. Y'got such a nice ass, been waitin' so long to do that.." Joel admits, letting out a faint laugh at your response to him. He cocks his head to the side and looks up at you, mouth slightly gaped open as his tongue plays with his cheek, "Ever knew how fuckin' hard you made me? Skimpin' around with your lil' dresses and shorts, passin' me like you knew what you were doin'. Y'never noticed how I'd.. turn my fuckin' head everytime you walked past me, baby.. Glancin' back at it so I could fuck my fist to the thought of you every night.."

"Fuck, fantasized about this fuckin' moment for so long now.."

Another blow of his large hand to your ass hits you unexpectedly, making you shake above him, your hips never slowing. You bite your lip as you look down at him, hands gripping his body to keep your strength. Butterflies fill your stomach as you hear his confession, making you groan.

Your breaths speed up as your climax increases, jaw falling open as you reply to him, "Did.. Did that on purpose, Joel.. Wanted you to look at me, to want me.. Didn't think it worked, fuck— touched myself all the time cus' of you.."

Your confession goes straight to Joel's cock, making him groan out at your dirty words, his fingers ingraining themselves into your ass as he moves your hips how he wants, wanting to push you to the edge already.

"Oh, it worked, honey.. Fuckin' gorgeous girl like you, what'd make y'think it didn't? I'd be a damn fool.." He grunts out, tone low right in your ear as you whimper, your clit growing incredibly sensitive as you grow even closer. "Y'gonna come for me, baby? Feel how fuckin' soaked you are f'me.. You're shaking.. Know y'can do it, come for me, sweet girl.. S'what you wanted this whole time, huh?" Joel encourages you, his hands moving from on top of your dress to underneath it, squeezing your bare ass with just your tiny panties barely covering yourself.

The direct contact of his rough hands on your flesh has you gasping out, the sudden coolness of your skin from his hot hands creating the perfect mix. You just nod your head eagerly as you stare into Joel's eyes, biting your bottom lip the more your aching cunt grinds on him. You stammer out, eyes hazy, "Mhm, f-fuck, Joel.. M'gonna come, p-please.."

Joel just smirks as he stares at your worn out face, nodding his head to encourage you. Sliding his hands down closer to your clothed pussy, his fingertips glide across your lips, your slick coating through your panties and onto his fingers. The feeling of it makes you hiss out as Joel whispers out to you, "Gonna give you what you need, baby.. C'mon now, let me see you.. Come for me now, be a good girl.."

Those words were the final push that you needed, making your cunt clench tightly around nothing, wishing that it was Joel's cock instead. You shut your eyes as you cry out, hands gripping onto Joel's body even tighter as he coos, whispering filthy, encouraging words into your ear while his hands help you chase your release. His hands on your ass begin to slow down, finally letting the weight of your hips rest on his thigh as your climax ends, the fast thumping in your chest slowing.

Breathing heavily, you let out small pants, chest rising up and down as you open your eyes to look at Joel. You give him a tired smile, giggling softly at the state you were in, and Joel grins back up at you, moving his hands up to hold onto your face. He presses a firm kiss on your lips, relishing the taste of you on his tongue. Breaking away from your lips, his thumbs caress your cheeks, looking into your eyes, "Did so good, honey.. Y'wanna return the favor? Prove to me that you deserve more?"

Your eyes widen at his words, nodding your head desperately as you lick your lips, hoping that he's implying what you thought he was. To be sure, you eagerly ask him, "O-Of course, Joel.. What d'you want me to do? Anything you want.."

Joel's lips curl up, grinning at the tone in your voice as he drags one of his hands down to yours to grab it. Guiding your hand, your palm reaches to his hard cock all pent up against his tight jeans, making you gasp out as a deep groan escapes his throat.

"Feel that, baby? Need your lips wrapped around me.. Y'gonna do that for me?" Joel mutters out to you, his gaze dark and set on you completely. Your breath hitches in your throat at his request, and the thought of the mere act makes your mouth water, making you nod your head quickly. "Yeah, fuck, I wanna do that for you.. Been wanting it for so long, Joel.." You admit to him, this time using your hand to squeeze his bulge, feeling how much he really needed you.

He lets out a faint moan, nodding his head back at you as he smirks at your hand squeezing him so good. He questions you, "Wanted what for so long, huh? Wanna hear it, honey."

Your cheeks grow flushed at his words, gulping slightly and hesitating to respond as you look away from him, which just makes him urge you on even more. "C'mon now, you already came all over my fuckin' thigh, I know y'not gettin' all shy on me now, sweetheart.." He teases you, chuckling as he presses his hand to your face, gently squeezing it, but you know his intentions are clear. He has so much power over you; more than you even thought.

His big hands grip onto your face, forcing you to turn to look at him. It's filthy, and you can't help but love it. He nods at you, a final push, and you finally stammer out at him, throat dry, "Wanted your.. cock, Joel.. W-Wanted to suck your cock for so long— fuck, please, Joel.."

He just lets out a faint laugh and nods his head, releasing your face from his hands and patting your cheek as if he was proud of you. "That's it, honey, wasn't so hard now, was it?" He teases you, licking his lips as his eyes flicker to your own, imagining them around him already. "Let's go to the back, baby.. S'gonna be more comfortable that way."

You nod at him as his strong hold is back on you, lifting your hips gently to guide you towards the back. Once the two of you are back there, Joel's legs are laid out on the entirety of the backseat, his back leaning against the door while you're set in between him; the perfect position and view for him to watch you put on a show.

Joel seems to be impatient waiting for you to make your move, as he cocks his head to the side and stares at you. He questions, "What y'waiting for, baby? You're a big girl, aren't you? Don't need me to tell you what to do now, do I?"

You lick your lips nervously as you stare at him, giving him a small, anxious smile. It's not because you've never sucked cock before, but this was Joel, and you wanted it to be good for him. More than you've ever been with anyone else before, and especially your 'boyfriend'.

"N-No, Joel, I got it.." You respond to him, leaning your body closer as your hands reach for the zipper of his jeans. Unbuttoning them, you pull them down a bit with the help of Joel's hips lifting, and your eyes immediately latch onto his huge cock, bulging against his boxers.

You sigh out as your hands glide from his large thighs to his underwear, reaching underneath the hem of the fabric to grasp onto his cock, pulling it out. The mere sight of it makes your jaw fall open slightly, gasping and mouth watering at how thick he was. Fuck, he's the biggest you've ever seen. It made you a bit nervous, but so fucking aroused, as you feel the slick growing between your folds because of it.

Your reaction makes Joel chuckle, leaning his head a bit forward to get a better look at the expression on your face. He lifts his hand to press his fingers against your cheek, holding onto your jaw and caressing your cheek with his thumb. It makes you look back up at him as he questions you, "Too big for you, honey? You ever even sucked cock before?"

You gulp as you purse your lips, nodding your head slightly, "I.. Yeah, I have, but fuck— never this big, Joel.." You respond to him truthfully, your stomach filling up with butterflies of a mixture of nerves and arousal.

He grins at you, laughing a bit cockily, "Don't worry, baby.. Gonna take me real good, right? Make me proud?" He challenges you, the fingers placed on your cheek now sliding down towards your lips, gently pressing the tips of them right at the entrance of your mouth. "Let's start off with these, huh? Wanna see if y'can take em' like you're gonna take me.."

You whimper at his words that hit you right to your core, making you clench around nothing. You couldn't wait for him to fuck you already. You just nod your head slowly, eyes never leaving his as you gently open your mouth for him. Joel takes this as an invitation to continue, slowly moving his index and middle fingers in your mouth.

"Suck on em', baby.. Lemme see what y'can do.." Joel tells you, his head lifting up a bit as his dark gaze looks down at your lips. You just obey him, closing your lips around his fat fingers as he inches them further and further in your mouth towards your throat. Your tongue falls flat underneath his fingers, sucking on them gently as you lift your hands to hold onto his wrist.

Joel starts to grin at you, humming out in satisfaction as he encourages you, "There we go, pretty fuckin' lips.. Show me how you'd suck my cock, c'mon now.."

You moan around his fingers, both of your hands gripping onto his wrist as you use it to pull them out of your mouth, guiding them back in deep as if they really were his cock. You shut your eyes at the feeling of it, reaching further down your throat as you moan again. The taste of him is intoxicating.

Your eyes open back up to stare at him intently, and Joel gives you a light smile, making you feel that sense of pride that you've always craved from him. "Good fuckin' girl.. Shit, lookin' so good like this, baby.." He mutters out lowly, a faint groan coming out.

Before you can continue, he pulls his fingers out of your mouth, immediately making you feel empty. You whine out softly at your disappointment which makes him chuckle, reassuring you, "C'mon, honey— Think y'ready now. Make it good for me, yeah?"

You nod eagerly, wanting nothing more than to please him as much as you could. You lean a bit back, giving yourself a bit more room to get in the right position as your hands reach for his cock again. Wrapping a hand around him, you notice that he isn't even fully hard yet, and he's already so fucking big. It doesn't ease your nerves in the slightest, but the ache you feel for him in your cunt distracts you from it completely.

Lowering your head and body, your lips inch closer and closer to the fat head of his cock while your hand slowly strokes him up and down, trying to get him fully hard for your mouth to take him. You look up at him as your lips wrap around the tip of it, sucking onto it gently as you feel him finally harden in your mouth.

Your tongue does its work, circling around him and licking the tip of it while you suck, your eyes never leaving his as his own flicker all over your face; your eyes, your lips. Joel lets out a low groan, reaching over to your head to hold onto it to have some leverage to encourage you.

You slowly lower your head now, taking his cock deeper into your mouth as you moan around it, sending vibrations through Joel's entire body as he hisses at the feeling. "Fuck, that's it.. Deeper, baby, lemme see how much y'can take.." Joel's words fill your ears as you continue, your mouth barely able to take him all the way to the base.

His cock hits the back of your throat, making you gag at the sudden intrusion. Your eyes water as you blink, still staring back up at him to see that reaction on his face. You notice how it twists in pleasure, his eyebrows furrowing for a moment, and you lift your head back up to gasp for air, immediately lowering your lips back onto him so you don't waste any second that passes.

The noises that Joel makes are filthy, filling your ears and making them burn as your mouth never falters, jaw stretched out as wide as possible for you to take all of him. Joel's grunts become louder, and you take that as sign that you're doing things right, which makes your body fill with pride.

Closing your eyes, you relish the feeling of his heavy cock on your tongue, the fat tip of it letting out small spurts of pre-cum down your throat. The taste of him only makes you push your head down even further, attempting to take him all the way to the base, but he hits the back of your throat, making you gag out at the unexpected impact.

Before you can lift your head up, Joel's grip on your head tightens as he holds you there, his throat letting out low pants as he stares right at your lips connecting to the base of his cock. Groaning out, he laughs faintly, saying, "Take it, honey, doin' so good for me, f-fuck.."

Barely processing it all, he uses his other hand to slap your face almost condescendingly, and it just makes you moan around him, your throat clenching and eyes opening up to look at him. You didn't even know you liked that, but Joel's power over you has you nearly seeing stars.

Joel lets out a chuckle, all mean and teasingly, "Fuck, yeah.. Dirty girl, you like that shit?" He asks you, and you moan around his cock again, nose breathing in heavily for air as your eyes droop down a bit, nearly high off the feeling of him using your throat. Laughing out, a smirk appears on his face as his hand's grip on you pulls you back up for a moment so you can breathe properly.

Without him even having to encourage you, your mouth is back on him once you catch your breath, desperate to please him and taste his cock again. It makes Joel grunt out, snickering out at you, "Fuck, you're worse than I thought, baby.. You act so innocent, but you're takin' cock like s'all you're meant for.."

You hum against him, eyes looking back up as you take him deeper with your tongue flattening underneath his shaft, and it drives Joel crazy. He just hisses out, hand on your head once again, "Shit.. I'm right, ain't I? Pretty throat’s been craving this, huh? Lil’ boyfriend couldn’t satisfy you.. Thas’ okay, m’ right here now, honey..”

His words send a throbbing pang to your cunt, growing wetter at the thought of him and knowing that he's satisfying your needs more than your boyfriend ever could. It makes you realize that Joel was right; that he was the real man that you needed.

Joel's hands start to guide your lips now, moving your head up and down on him as he watches his cock disappear back down your throat over and over again. Your jaw falls slack as you let him use you just how he wants, eyes watering with tears threatening to fall as his thick cock continues to stretch your lips and throat so good.

The look on your face is nearly pornographic, your lips shaped tightly right around the girth of his cock as if it was a hole meant for him to fuck. The sight of you makes Joel's cock twitch, moaning lowly as he pants out, “What would y’family think if they saw you like this, honey? Lookin’ like a fuckin’ whore with my cock down your throat, like the fuckin’ slut you are. That’s just what you are, right, baby? A lil’ whore for me, s’that it? Gonna let me keep you.. fuck you when I want? Know that’s what you want..”

You just nod your head eagerly at him, eyes rolling to the back of your head at the sound of his nasty words, and it feels so fucked up knowing that it's turning you on so much. You've always imagined what it'd be like for Joel to just use you how he wants, imagining how it'd be like, and now it's finally happening.

Joel chuckles out at your response to him, and he grunts out as his climax builds up, unexpectedly pulling your mouth off of him as you gasp out for air. Your face looks confused and disheveled, but Joel assures you, "Don't wanna come just yet, baby, we got time for that later. Wanna be in you now."

Before you can respond to him, Joel leans in towards you, his hands reaching out for your body to move you how he wants. Grasping onto your sides, he lifts you slightly to turn you around, moving you to get on your knees to crawl and face away from him. Your body just follows his hands until he has you where he wants, getting onto your hands and knees, bent over for him to stare out the window.

Your breathing grows heavier, gulping softly as you turn your head to look back at him. Joel doesn't waste a second to immediately cherish the view in front of him, his hands now roaming from your calves right up to your thighs, savoring your skin on his fingertips that are now inching towards your aching core.

Your dress is the perfect length for him to see you completely; not too long and not too short, but it's too much coverage for Joel's liking anyways.

His hands move up towards your ass, instinctively pushing the fabric covering you up and over, resting it on your lower back so his view is right of your clothed cunt. Your wet slick has seeped through the light fabric, making Joel chuckle out as he stares right at it. His eyes make you blush, a bit of embarrassment filling your cheeks evidently as you look away from him for a moment.

He just glances up at you and grins, shaking his head at your reaction, "No need to get shy, baby.. S'hot, y'know that? Knowin' this pretty pussy's all soaked for me? Shit.." Joel lets out, laughing faintly as his stare returns back to your cunt, hands sliding back down to your ass. His thumb runs across your folds pressed so tightly together by your thighs, making you gasp and shiver out at the touch.

He moves his other hand now, index and middle finger sliding just beneath the side of your panties to get a good grip of it, pulling it to the side so he can see your throbbing hole and wet folds. It's a dirty scene right in front of him, but it has his cock twitching at the sight.

"Fuck, look at that.. Need me that bad, baby?" Joel whispers out to you, his eyes flickering up to your desperate face and back down. His stare and words make you whine out, your hole clenching around nothing as you swallow.

You do need him that bad, and you were getting impatient.

The action makes Joel sigh out, his thumb now sliding against your bare cunt and through your lips, gathering up how wet you were. His thumb now finds your entrance, pressing in just the tip of it as his eyes move back up to your face, eager to see your reaction.

You just moan out and clench around it desperately, eyes shutting for a moment as your heart races. "Fuck, Joel, just fuck me already, p-please.. Need it so bad.." You beg him, biting your bottom lip harshly as your wide eyes stare into his own.

He just licks his lips as he hears you, considering it for a moment. "Y'think you can take me like this, honey? Don't need me to do anything else? Might hurt.." He asks you, his concerns still evident despite the position you two were in.

You just nod your head at him quickly, whining out softly, "Yeah, fuck, I can take it, please— just need you, Joel.." Your chest rises as you breathe in heavily, wanting him to fuck you already.

Joel smirks at your pleads, the desperation getting the best of you, and it makes his cock even harder. He just nods up at you and removes his thumb from your cunt, shifting his knees and hips closer to your ass as he grips his cock with his hand.

He glides the tip of it up and down your folds, gathering the slick as much as he could. Pressing it against your entrance, he looks up at your face, his other hand gripping onto your hip as he slowly eases it into you. The stretch of him makes you hiss out, shutting your eyes at the intrusion and how big he is.

You stammer out, "F-Fuck, Joel.." as you pant softly, taking in deep breaths to let your walls relax and adjust to him as much as you could. He just grips onto your hip even tighter, giving you a sense of guidance and reassurance.

Joel's heart races at the feeling of your walls clench around him, feeling how tight you are. Grunting out, he pushes himself even deeper inside of you, still taking his time, "Good girl, baby.. Doin' so good, y'feel so good, shit.." He gasps out, his eyes now fixed onto the sight of his cock entering your stretched out cunt.

"Tight fuckin' pussy.. Haven't had one like this in so long, fuck.."

Your breaths speed up with each inch that fills you up, the girth of him creating a stinging ache between your thighs that were nearly trembling. The grasp your walls has on his cock makes it almost harder for him to move further, so he pauses— taking a second for you to adjust.

"You okay, honey? Doin' so good for me, such a sweet girl.." He murmurs out to you, almost panting out as he hisses out. His hands gently caress your lower back and ass, reassuring you as he bends over a bit to press small kisses on your skin. It makes you shiver, nodding your head in response to him, "M' okay, Joel.. Feels so good, p-please move.."

His heavy eyes look back up at you, acknowledging your request and smiling softly. It sends butterflies through your stomach at the thought of him caring so much about you, making sure that you were comfortable and enjoying yourself just as much as he was.

He presses one last kiss to your lower back, pressing his hands on it as he lifts himself back up. Gripping onto your hips, he nods at you and finally pushes himself all the way inside of your throbbing cunt, his hips now flushed against your own. The sudden movement makes you gasp out, your hands holding your body up attempting to squeeze onto the fabric of the seat.

"J-Joel!" You moan his name, eyes closing harshly at the feeling of the fat tip of his cock pressing so deep inside of you, making your involuntary walls constrict around him. It creates a burn in your lower stomach, your body growing hot at the feeling. It makes Joel grunt out, his neck lifting up for a moment to take a breath as he looks back down at your hips connected to his, hands caressing your skin.

He rocks his hips against yours, moving just slightly to get some friction as he allows you to adjust, groaning, "That's it, there y'go.. Knew you could take it, baby, fuck— Feelin' so good wrapped around me, s'it what you wanted?" He asks you, eyes flickering up at your face. Biting your lip, you nod, stammering out, "Mmphf— Y-You're.. so deep, shit, feels so good.."

He chuckles out, stare fixed on your worn out face as he pulls his hips back a bit, taking his time to thrust back into you as deep as he could. He wanted to prove to himself that what you were saying was true.

"S'that right, sweetheart? So deep? Y'feel me right here?" He asks, moving one of his hands just beneath your body and sliding it to your lower stomach, pressing harshly against it. It makes you gasp, feeling the bulge of his cock imprinting itself. You whine, breathing out, "O-Oh, fuck, Joel.. Yeah, feel you right there.."

He just grins at your response, muttering out, "That's fuckin' right, honey.. n' I'm the only one who's ever been this deep, huh?" He urges you on, head leaning a bit closer to you as his hips press tightly against your pussy.

You cry out, shutting your eyes for a moment as you nod, unable to fully form a coherent sentence for him. He just tuts his tongue, head shaking disapprovingly as he pulls his hips back all of the way, not taking a second to wait to slam himself back into you.

It makes you grunt, eyes shooting open as his words fill your ears, the slight mean tone in his voice making your face burn, "Asked you a question, baby.. So you tell me, your lil' boyfriend ever fuck you this good, honey? Fill this pretty pussy this deep?"

Your mind grows hazy, cheeks flushed as you attempt to spit out what he wants to hear, "N-No, Joel.. I, I-"

"No? No? C'mon, haven't even really fucked you yet n' you're already actin' so dumb.. S'that it, cock just make you all stupid for me?"

Tears fill your eyes as his hips pull and push right back into you again, giving you another thrust of his thick cock as you sob out, "J-Joel, shit, no, it jus'.. feels too good, p-please.." You moan, feeling the tight grip his fingers have on your ass nearly imprinting themselves into your skin.

"C'mon now.. Louder, baby, lemme hear it.. Tell me, wanna hear it loud n' clear.. Answer my question.." He pushes you, tone growing louder and strict. His thrusts begin to create an increasing rhythm that makes your jaw drop open at the feeling, his cock stretching your tight walls out with each push of his hips.

"No, Joel! N-Never.. never fucked me this good, oh fuck, never.. this d-deep.. shit!" You blurt out, mind barely thinking as you spit the words out. Eyes rolling to the back of your head, your brain and body goes numb, shuttering at the feeling of his unrelenting movements as your head hangs low, staring at your hands gripping the seat.

Joel's grunts and moans surround you completely as your ears begin to ring, his faint laugh and sudden smack of his hand on your ass snapping you out of it at the sting, "That's right.. pretty girl knows her place, fuck," He rushes out, suddenly grasping onto your hair to pull your head back, making you cry out, "Knew you'd be so good for me, honey.. Actin' like a fuckin' slut, takin' my cock this good.."

You breath out heavily, panting out as he holds back your head by his rough grip on your hair, pulling you back a bit to turn your head to try and get a look at him. His words make your pussy clench around him even tighter, turned on at his degradation.

You hum softly, whining as you nod your head gently, tears filling your eyes and threatening to fall as his pace grows even faster, now slamming into your cunt over and over again. He chuckles and grins at the slight sight of your eyes filling up, making him pout condescendingly at you.

"What? M' I wrong, honey? Y'gonna tell me you haven't been practically begging me to fuck you all these years? To treat you like this; like the slut you are, huh?" He taunts you, pulling his cock out all the way to rest against your entrance, and slamming it back in as deep as he could, "Know it's all you've wanted.. all you've ever fantasized about.. Y'don't gotta do that anymore, baby.. cus' I'm right here. Gonna treat you like the fuckin' whore you are.. That's what you are to me.. My fuckin' slut."

A tear finally falls down your cheek, making your lungs fill with air as you pant, mouth falling open and cunt convulsing around him. The tip of his cock keeps hitting the deepest spot inside of you, nearly making you blank out as his words make your cheeks flush. "J-Joel, I—"

Before you can stammer anything else out, Joel's grip on your hair now pulls your body up completely, making your back hit his strong chest, despite it being covered by his tight shirt. Your breath hitches in your throat, barely able to think as his sudden hand lets go of your hair and wraps it around your neck, holding your body right against him.

Keeping you still with the control he has, you moan out and flutter your eyes shut, body shaking and tightening up at him choking you. The back of your head lays on his shoulder, resting it there as he leans in close to your ear, whispering out, "Gonna ruin you for everyone else, baby.. Every time anybody else fucks you, you're gonna think of me; me and my fuckin' cock making you fall apart.. Y'gonna come runnin' back to me.. every fuckin' time— M' gonna make sure of it."

Your eyes open hazily, widening at his words as the grip he has on your throat suddenly pushes you away, making your chest and upper body fall down against the seat, arms not even having any power to hold yourself up. His hands and fingertips sink back into your lower back, now pressing your stomach flush against the seat as it creates an angle that makes you feel him deeper than you've ever felt before.

You can barely process it now, your mouth spewing incoherent noises and words as he holds you down, practically using you just how he pleases. Your hips pushed against the seat are constantly being driven by his thrusts, your pubic bone and sensitive clit being stimulated with each shove.

It makes your eyes shut tightly, unable to control yourself as you pant and moan out for him repeatedly, your hands shaking as you can barely get yourself to hold onto something. His cock buries itself inside of your throbbing cunt over and over again, Joel laughing at the squelching noises that your pussy was letting out.

Before he can say anything, a ring fills his ears that suddenly grab his attention, making his head turn as his movements slow just enough to grasp your attention to make you turn your head and look at the source too.

Your phone, laying on the middle compartment right next to Joel; he reaches for it and sees who's calling, making him grin and chuckle out.

Your boyfriend.

"Well, would y'look at this, honey? Talkin' about runnin' back.." Joel mutters out, turning the phone towards your direction for you to see it too. It just makes your eyes widen, cunt clenching as Joel tests you, "Why don't we let em' hear what you're up to, baby? See how much he's missin' out, huh?"

You know it's so fucking wrong; yet, so fucking right.

Joel doesn't even wait for your response, and just licks his lips and presses answer, putting it on speaker as he lays the phone flat against your back, lifting one of his hands on your hips to smack your ass. The force creates a loud spank, filling the phone's speakers as Joel's hips begin to move at a faster pace again.

It makes you mewl out, tears falling down your face again as your hands try to grip on the seat you were laying on. His grunts are loud and lewd, the snap of his hips smacking against your ass and thighs as he makes you take his cock repeatedly, "There y'go, just like that.." He mumbles out.

Your boyfriend's voice fills your ears now, confusion and the evident drunken tone making you roll your eyes, "The fuck? What was that, baby?"

Before you can even respond, Joel cuts you off, doing the job right for you.

"Y'don't gotta worry about her anymore.. M' takin' real good care of her now.. Ain't that right, baby?" Joel groans out, smacking your ass again as he leans in closer towards your back, nearly laying his chest against you. You just whine out in response, nodding your head quickly as Joel urges you further, tutting his tongue, "No, no, lemme hear it, honey.. Why don't y'tell him yourself? Let him know how good you're takin' my cock.."

Your body and face grows hot, licking your dry lips as you stutter, "F-Feels so g-good, Joel.. You're takin' such good care of me now, I—"

"What the fuck, babe? No, no, this can't be fucking happening."

Joel laughs loudly at your boyfriend's words, leaning his head closer to speak right into your phone, "Oh, but it is, boy. Not m'fault you couldn't fuck your girl this good. But, wait.. she isn't 'your girl' anymore now, is she?" He asks him, the arrogant tone spewing out as his voice lowers.

He reaches his hand over to your neck again, wrapping it around and squeezing it tightly as he ruts himself in you fast and hard, the pace and the hold of his fingers making you scream out his name.

"You fucking asshole, I'll fucking—"

Joel just cuts him off, sighing out annoyingly as he shakes his head, "Shut the fuck up. Don't you fuckin' call her again, much less lay a hand on her. You do that n' I find out?— I will find you. N' I'll make sure to break every bone in your fuckin' body, boy."

As your boyfriend gasps at his words, he begins to stutter some pathetic shit that Joel doesn't wanna bother hearing anymore; so he ends the call, tossing your phone to the side to focus back on you completely.

Shutting his eyes, Joel sighs out as he presses firm, yet gentle kisses to your back, his hips now going a bit slower, but deliberately harder so you can feel every inch of him, cherishing your tight cunt with each second that passes.

"There we go, honey.. Took care of that for you, y'don't gotta worry about him now, fuck— M' gonna make you feel so good.. y'won't need anyone else.." Joel whispers in your ear, laying his chest and body completely over your back as his entire being consumes you, his cock filling you to the brim with each push and pull.

His chin rests just below your shoulder now, grunting into your ear as he mutters filthy words into it, "That right, baby? M' I the only one you need? Gonna let me be the only one who can fuck this pretty little pussy? F-Fuck, please.. lemme hear it, shit— need to hear you say it.."

The pace of his movements start to speed up again as you stammer out, "Y-Yeah, Joel, you're the only one I need, fuck!" his cock twitching at your confession as you continue, "Only need you, only want your cock in me, please— need you to fill me up, make me yours, Joel.."

He moans at your words, panting out as he feels himself growing closer at your pleads, and you're right with him too. His cock hits that spot in your core over and over again, making you wail and sob out at the feeling of your stomach tightening and coiling, biting your lower lip harder to try and stop you from blabbering out.

"Don't do that, baby, no, wanna hear you— please, make those pretty lil' noises for me, honey, y'sound so pretty like this," Joel blurts out, unable to even think as he slams his hips against your ass, creating a sting that makes you lightheaded with your climax growing furiously, "Gonna make me come so deep inside you, baby, jus' like you want.."

His words hit something inside you, making you suddenly see stars as your pussy convulses around his cock, clenching and grasping onto him tightly as you come, your slick coating your thighs and his cock completely. Your body shakes and trembles as he fucks you through it, laughing faintly at your sudden orgasm. "Oh, fuck— there y'go baby, pretty fuckin' girl, take it.." Joel moans out, panting even louder and faster as he chases his own release.

You cry out, your cunt being overstimulated by his unrelenting thrusts as he buries himself even harder and deeper into you, making you spew out, "Shit, Joel! C-Come inside me, fill me up, please, please, need it so—"

Joel's loud grunts cut you off, feeling the sudden warmth of his come spill inside of you completely as he slams his cock in as deep as he can, making sure you feel every inch of him and his come. His hips rock into you, grinding his pelvis harshly to try and get even a fraction of him deeper inside of you. It makes you wince out, your sore cunt oversensitive at the feeling.

His body completely gives out on top of yours, his breaths filling your ears as you both take each other in, falling from your highs and trying your best to relax. You laugh softly as you process everything that's just happened, and Joel does the same, pressing small kisses to the back of your neck as his hand lets it go.

"Shit, honey— so fuckin' good.. You alright?" He mutters out, chuckling as you turn your head slightly to look at him, taking in your worn and fucked out face. You just nod your head at him, feeling a bit hazy as you smile, laughing out, "Yeah.. Never better."

Joel's eyes glimmer as he swallows, pushing aside the hair that was covering your face as he admires you, grinning softly at you, "Should've done this years ago.. Y'been holdin' back on me, baby." He murmurs out, his smile widening.

You press a small kiss to his lips, licking your own as you correct him, "Been trying to get you to for years, Joel.. not my fault it took this long." He just shakes his head amusingly, pursing his lips.

"Well.. Y'wanna stay with me for the night? Maybe I can teach y'another lesson on how a.. 'real man' should treat ya?" He proposes to you, laughing at his reference of what he said to you earlier and what started this in the first place.

You just smile at him and nod your head eagerly:

"Wouldn't want anything more."

-

a/n: kinda wanted to make joel threaten/hit reader's bf, but i figured joel's idea of revenge was so much sweeter <3

this is by far my fav fic i've written out of my 1st three, so i’d love some feedback from you all! ♥️

wanna be on a taglist? fill out the google form in my pinned post!

-

reblogs are appreciated!

send me requests & i might write it for you! :)

[uwuwriting]

Abusive boyfriend w/ Midoriya, Bakugou and Todoroki

Request: Can I have deku, bakugo and Todoroki reacting to the readers unhealthy boyfriend. He brings her down a lot and abusive. - anonymous

Being part of a toxic relationship is so so soooo painful. Thankfully reader-chan has her heroes to save her. Hope you like it. Love ya.💖💖💖

masterlist

rules

warnings: abuse both physical and mental, ptsd and panic attacks, cursing, characters are aged up (they have graduated)

Midoriya Izuku

-Okay so he basically was the one who managed to build your confidence back up after the horrendous break up with your ex. 

-Your ex never laid a hand on you but his words were enough to bruise your ego and self worth so much that you believed that you were nothing compared to others. 

-From looks to personality, you believed that even a snail was more worth it than you. 

-Now you are a beautiful girl and very very smart. 

-Guys and girls looked your way even though you were in a relationship. 

-And your ex was having none of it. 

-It started off really subtly.

- “Are you sure you want to wear that to dinner?”

- “We are going to grab some coffee not going out for drinks.”

- “Don’t you think you are showing too much skin?”

-Then the body shaming started. 

- “I think you shouldn’t wear that, I mean look how large it makes you look.”

- “Have you been eating more?”

- “How about I make a diet for you?”

-This really brought you down. 

-It reached the point where you would only wear really baggy hoodies in order to hide your body. 

-After that turning point he still wasn’t satisfied. 

-People, although fewer than before, still had the nerve to hit on you and it was getting on his nerve. 

-He started belittling you in front of friends and acquaintances, destroying your already fragile confidence. 

-He had dug you a grave and sugarcoated the casket with empty I love you’s. 

-He had made you believe that he was the only one who would accept you and love you despite you’re so flawed. 

-And he managed to keep you for quite some time. 

-Then Midoriya comes along. 

-A childhood friend who had become a pro hero and on the top five. 

-He saw how skinny you had become, borderline unhealthy, how you shied away from him and literally everyone. 

-You were like a scared deer. 

-Then the boyfriend came in and everything fell into place. 

-Midoriya is smart, he caught on your boyfriend’s belittlement and the reason behind it. 

-Now getting you out of this toxic relationship is his new mission. 

-You ran into him more often after that first encounter and he always talked to you, complimenting you whenever he could. 

-Your boyfriend didn’t catch on until it was too late. 

-Midoriya had managed to get you to talk about your relationship and what your boyfriend was like, he had opened your eyes to his abuse and helped you built up the courage to stand up to him and dump his ass. 

-He was there of course to support you after the break up. 

-And of course after months and months of seeing each other almost everyday, you two became a thing. 

-Finally you get to experience true love with someone who truly appreciates you. 

Bakugou Katsuki 

-You and Bakugou have been friends since high school. 

-Inseparable. 

-He comes to you for everything, all his troubles are solved by you and you alone. 

-You’re special!!

-So when you get a boyfriend he is the first to meet the guy. 

-In truth he really didn’t want to because he has been in lobe with you for the longest time and seeing you with someone else reminds him that he is a coward. 

-Anyway he meets him and everything is fine, he looks decent and he seems to treat you well. 

-As months pass you seem to distance yourself more and more from him. 

-Bakugou at first is angry, he is fuming I tell you. 

-He doesn’t like the silence that he receives when he calls, or the single word replies when he texts and he especially despises your refusal to go out with him like you used to. 

-He gets that you have a boyfriend now and you have to spend more time with your bf but he still felt betrayed. 

-Then doubt started to settle in his mind. 

-Maybe you realized he wasn’t worth the trouble, I mean he is a difficult person, maybe your new boyfriend opened your eyes and now you want nothing to do with him. 

-Or maybe you figured out he was in love with you. 

-Had he been scowling more than usual while he was meeting your boyfriend? 

-He wanted to ask you what he did wrong but he couldn’t reach you. 

-So he sucked it up and drowned himself in his hero work, drowning his nagging mind along with his free time.

-Then something unexpected happened. 

-Uraraka visited him, worry written all over her face. 

-She was worried for you and wanted to ask him if everything was alright, since he was your best friend. 

- “She stopped showing up to our weekly girl evening and she won’t answer my texts.... I’m really worried for her Bakugou.”

-That was the last straw for him. 

-He went to your apartment and after five minutes of knocking your boyfriend opened the door. 

-The scowls on the guy’s face was really REALLY pushing his buttons. 

- “Is Y/N here?”

- “What do you want her for?”

- “I want to talk to her.”

-This man..... he closed the door in Bakugou’s face. 

-Well closed is putting it mildly. 

-He slammed the door shut with so much force that a mirror down the hall rattled. 

-Bakugou was ready to blow the door open when he heard the shouts. 

- “Y/N why the fuck is that guy here?”

- “W-what guy?”

- “Don’t act all innocent you slut! The guy you are fucking!”

- “I-I don’t k-know who y-you are talking a-about.” 

-The moment he heard your sniffles echo through the door he was inside the apartment shoving the guy away from you. 

- “Don’t you fucking dare speak to her like that, asshole.” 

-You were trembling behind him and Bakugou could feel the sob threatening to escape your lips. 

-Looking over his shoulder at you he spoke gently as if you were a scared kitten. 

- “Y/N could you go get some of your stuff ready? I’m taking you away from this dickhead.”

- “Who do you think you are? That’s MY girlfriend she listens to me alone!”

- “Don’t speak as if she’s an object!”

-You had disappeared to your room to get your things and were now clinging to Bakugou’s back. 

- “So you are fucking him. What should I have expected from a whore like you!” 

-Okay now Bakugou was presented with two options. 

-Option A: beat the living shit out of this guy and most likely losing his hero license for a week. 

-Option B: get you out of here and let this asshole boil in his own defeat. 

-He went with option B. 

-Wordlessly he guided you out of your apartment complex and into his car, drove you to his house and proceeded to help you calm down. 

-You had had one panic attack in the past so he didn’t really know what to do. 

-But he managed. 

- “Whatever he said to you isn’t true. I don’t know what actually went down between you two and what he got into the pretty little head of your but none of that matters. Just know that we are all here for you. Me, the girls even stupid Deku. And we love you, I love you so don’t worry about anything. Everything will be alright.” 

-From that point on everything was history. 

-It didn’t take long for you two to start dating and Bakugou made sure to have a firm talk with your now ex boyfriend when you ran into him at the grocery store. 

-Get wrecked douchebag.

 Todoroki Shouto 

-Toxic relationships is something Todoroki is a pro at this point. 

-He grew up in one so yeah. 

-He sees the signs of the abuse faster than anyone. 

-First of all, you inch away from anyone who starts flaying their arms. 

-Despite the warm weather you always wear long sleeves. 

-And he has seen you applying extra make up around your eye once. 

-He also notices how you always try to avoid annoying your boyfriend, like you take extreme measures. 

-You distance yourself from other males going as far as to avoid him to an extent. 

-Then he sees the bruises. 

-You two were training at the agency’s gym when your shirt rode up your torso and there was this huge bruise right under your  ribs. 

- “Y/N who did this?”

- “Oh I just got slightly injured during my last patrol.”

-He isn’t buying it since he was with you during your last patrol and you didn’t get injured. 

-But he lets it slide because he believes that you know whats best for you and you will get away from this guy. 

-But for some reason you stay with him. 

-For months. 

-And Todo can’t take it anymore.

- “Y/N can I talk to you?”

-He talks to you about what he has seen and that he knows that your boyfriend is doing this to you. 

- “So please, please leave him, get out while you can. Y/N I can’t see you hurt like this.”

-You see the thing was that you had made the stupid decision of moving in with him and now.... you had nowhere to go. 

-If you broke up with him you wouldn’t have a place to stay and you couldn’t start searching for a new place, he traces your phone and search history. 

- “You’ll live with me. I’ll give you everything you need just please please let go of him. He doesn’t deserve you. I hate seeing you so hurt and broken.” 

- “Please come with me then, Shouto I-I can’t do this alone.”

-Of course he came with you, standing in between you and that asshole as he went to strike you when you broke the news to him.

- “You are leaving me for this piece of shit huh? Of course you would you whore!”

-He went as far as activating his quirk, attacking Shouto in an attempt to get to you. 

- “I own you you fucking slut! No one will want you! You are mine!”

-Shouto wasn’t as calm as Bakugou in this situation, punching the guy before leaving the apartment, making sure that the guy got the message and wouldn’t try to come after you. 

-Back at his apartment, Shouto comforted you as best he could. 

-You know where this leads. 

-Shouto gives you the space you need before making a move. 

-My mans waits months before even remotely flirting with you. 

-After a year long wait he finally manages to ask you out. 

-And the rest is history.

TAG TEAM AY:

@iwaqchan​ @the-arcana-fan-fic​ @angelwritings​ @axerrri​ @dnarez-mangetsu​ @reinyrei​ @bemorefiction​

[pesiko]

WINWIN ONESHOT RECS

M mature | ✿ personal favorite

Overrated - he was never one for attachment M [41.7k]

The Stars - fantasy historic AU, angst ouch bruh M [29.7k]

Tip Jar - magic AU, winking stars and magic spells [18.3k]

Fool - falling in love maybe never ends, angst ouch [16.7k]

Sleepless Cinderella: Sicheng - fake dating [13.5k]

You - you fall in love too easily, some angst ✿ M [13.1k]

The Kiss Experiment - helping Kun w a project [9.5k]

Cigarette Daydreams - bad boy Sicheng [7.3k]

Love, Summer - merman, “will you come w me?” [7.3k]

Eris - thankfully you knew how to treat blood wounds [6.2k]

Candy - strangers to neighbors to friends to lovers M [6.2k]

5 Times Winwin Tried to Kiss You and the 1 Time He Did [6k]

And Stupidly, Us - when you find a man bleeding ✿ [5.5k]

Wearing Nothing But my Calvins and a Bit of... M [5k]

Say It - servant boy Sicheng is your hero ✿ [4k]

Water Balloons and Sidewalks - neighbor Sicheng [3.3k]

Love in my Pocket - a playlist titled to the girl next door [3k]

Sweet Tooth - vampire Sicheng, two inconveniences [2.8k]

Remember the Saints - race car driver Sicheng [2.6k]

Win - single dad Sicheng, and what a win it was [2.6k]

Heartbeat - hospitalized Sicheng and a nurse [2.5k]

Millions - he pretends the idea doesn’t bother him [2.3k]

Come Pick Me Up - drunk at a New Year’s Eve party [2.1k]

Fall in Love with Me - guardian angel Winwin [2.1k]

When We Were Young - his name was Sicheng, angsty [1.9k]

Spontaneity - taking you for a wisdom teeth removal [1.8k]

Or a Hundred Years - demon, “just a little longer, love” [1.7k]

A Close Call - spies, “because I love you goddamnit!” [1.6k]

Say It - exes to lovers. problematic Winwin M [1.6k]

Predator: Wounded Fawn - “I’m not going to kill you” [1.4k]

Earphones - he “accidentally” loses his AirPods ✿ [1.2k]

Natural - he proves he’s the best bf after an accident [1.2k]

Oops I Did It Again - school heartthrob Winwin [1.2k]

You’re Not Very Smooth - under the mistletoe [1k]

❥ WINWIN NAVI

[main masterlist] [nct masterlist] updated 7-30-21

[surveys-at-your-service]

Survey #463

“the siren sings a lonely song of all the wants & hungers  /  the lust of love, a brute desire”

Describe the person that you would like to be in three years. I want my mental health to be in great condition, I really want to be in much better physical shape, ideally be living with somebody in our own place, have a job I'm happy with, have an improved social life, my own license and car... Think back to when you first met your significant other (or ex). Was your first impression of them accurate? It's funny, I honestly don't remember what my first impression of Girt was. I don't even recall our first interaction. I'm sure it was most likely that he was friendly, because he is and always has been. What is your most noticeable personality trait? Probably that I'm really, really shy. What kind of natural disaster is most common where you live? Hurricanes. Which of your family members do you resemble the most? I guess one of my immediate sisters? People tend to say stuff like they can definitely tell we're related. Have you ever had an animal get into your attic? No. Who knows you better than anyone else? Hell, probably whoever reads these. When was the last time you started a “new chapter” of your life? I guess you could call dating Girt a "new chapter." I have a much, much stronger feeling of this attempt being more successful than the last now that I've been able to change my angle on how I see him. What’s the most expensive thing your car needed to get done? I don't have my own vehicle and never have. If you had a thousand dollars to spend on a pricey brand you like but can’t really afford (until now of course), which ONE brand would you choose? *shrug* Most products of highly expensive brands I find hideous anyway. Do you still talk to any of your old teachers? Yeah. One is a close family friend and actually our landlord. Does your family still use the home phone or are you all on cell phones now? We haven't had a landline is yeeeeaaarrrrsssss. Ever go to another school’s prom? No; my boyfriend went to the same school as me. Do you ever venture into the woods? What do you normally do there? No; we live in the city now. :/ When I DID live in the woods, I absolutely loved wandering around with my camera for stuff to take pics of. Does your significant other ever make you mix CDs? None ever have but omg I wish that would be adorable. How did you dress your freshman year of high school? I was one of them emo kids. Would you ever date your best friend of the opposite sex? WELP that's what I'm doing lol. Would you say you have a high sex drive or not so much? I'd call it normal? Higher sometimes, lower other times, but not to either extreme. Come with an unpopular opinion. Silent Hill: Homecoming is a great game and while there's a lot of fan service from the movie, it belongs in the series. It's actually my second (or third)-favorite installment. Most of the SH community absolutely hate that game. What’s the worst thing a friend has either done or said to you? A lot of shit Colleen would say if we got into arguments. She'd ridicule effects of my depression, said I'd never know what it's like to pay my own bills, stuff like that. She's hateful as fuck and everything cut deep. What’s fake about you? Like extensions, fake nails, botox etc. Nothing physical. If you got the chance, would you audition for a reality show? No. Have you ever gotten into a Facebook fight? More than once. What’s the cheesiest thing you’ve ever experienced irl? Hm, I'm unsure. Favorite flavor of jelly bean? Probably watermelon. Do you use Tinder? If yes, have you ever met up with someone you matched? No. You do you, but if I understand Tinder correctly, it just seems... really shallow to me. Like don't you JUST see their picture to decide if you're interested or not? It just enforces the false belief that appearance really matters in love. You just poured your heart out to your crush and all he/she does is respond “k”. What do you respond/do? Well, I don't have a crush anymore; my boyfriend and I literally exchanged "I love you"s last night. That's not a crush. But for the sake of the question, I'll imagine I was single and this happened, in which case I would be both hurt and annoyed. Like, either tell me you return the feelings or not. It's not hard. What's your favorite thing to order from McDonald’s? I usually get a quarter pounder w/ cheese or a McDouble, occasionally with a small or medium fry, depending on how hungry I am. When do you feel your sexiest? Never, hunny. What's your favorite emoji? I don't really have one? It just depends on what the situation calls for. What’s your skincare routine? I don't really have one... I just use a washcloth to clean my face. Who all out of your immediate family smokes? My dad and stepmom. Do you like incense or candles better? Incense, totally. Do you respect your parents? Yeah. What’s your bf/gf’s name? It's technically Donald Jr., but since high school, I've known him as Girt, a nickname I won't explain for his privacy. Do you wear glasses? Yeah. Do you like The Beatles? I honestly don't. Except "Hey, Jude." What was the last reason you got excited? Last night. When we were saying goodbye, I was scared to, but I told Girt I loved him, and he immediately said it back confidently. My heart did like five flips. I'm still over the moon about it. Yes, we just got back together, but we've been in each other's lives as a constant since HS, and after changing my angle of how I looked at him, it's not at all platonic anymore. Do you know anyone who drinks the pickle juice from the jar? Sara does alskdjfklwejrl;er Name something crazy that’s happened recently? Uhhhh... I dunno. My life is very uneventful to have something really "crazy" happen. Can you say for a fact that you’re happy right now? I'm happy about some things, but also nervous and self-doubtful. Have you ever zip lined? No, but they look fun. I'd just be really scared of losing my grip. If you broke your computer, would you be able to fix it on your own? Ha, no. Have you ever been on a boat and got sick? No, but the one time I was at the beach and on a boat riding to an island, I was TERRIFIED I was going to get sick because of the waves. I didn't, thankfully. Did you sleep well last night? For the most part. My new mask might just be working. Do your parents try and plan your life for you? Not at all. Do you have any pictures of you kissing someone? Yes. List two things about yourself that you find embarrassing. My weight and how dark my leg hair is. Do you like to cuddle with your pet when you are sad? Yes. Do you find piercing attractive or unattractive? h o t Do you have any secret hiding spots in your room? To put money, yes. Do you like parmesan cheese on your spaghetti? Ew, no. I don't like parmesan. Does your best girl friend have any talents that you don’t? Yeah. She can animate well, for one. And sing like a fucking champ. Do you have any video game systems in your room? Which one(s)? My Nintendo DS Lite is in here. Well, and my laptop is a gaming one. What color eyes does the last person you kissed have? ... Oh WOW I've known this man for a fuckin decade and somehow I'm not sure??? But I want to say light blue? Have you ever taken a ride in a helicopter? No. Have you ever visited hot springs? No. How slowly or quickly would you say you eat? I'm aware I eat too fast, because my mom will point it out almost without fail if we eat in sight of each other. I'm not a messy eater at all, just... fast. Chewing your food and swallowing isn't a complex task. I've made active efforts to slow down, I just haven't been able to succeed. It doesn't feel normal. That and I've come to discover that when I chew food TOO much, I don't like the mushy texture of it in my mouth. What did you do the last time you were with friends? Yesterday Girt and I planned to watch shitty Netflix anime for some laughs, but we wound up starting Attack on Titan, which I am officially pretty into. What kind of cologne/perfume do you like the opposite sex to wear? I don't care if they wear any or not, so long as they know how to clean themselves and therefore not actually smell bad. If you celebrate Christmas, do you get a real tree or an artificial tree? We always use a fake one. Is there someone who means a lot to you but they don’t know that? My sisters probably don't, really... Is money important to you? Live your whole life poor and I want to see you answer "no" to this. Have you ever watched a meteor shower? No. Do you like Slim Jims? LOOOOOOOVE them. Would you rather write a mystery or love story? Love story. Are you muscular? No. Working for it. Do you have one of those removable hand-held shower heads? Yes. Originally, this house didn't, but I hated it so much that Mom bought one. How many burners does your stove have? Four. Has your car ever been broken into? Mom's hasn't.

[beecherdrysdale]

Hiiii my bbs, I have literally been dreaming about going to Greece sooo I hope this is good

Adding onto brigids thoughts:

Okk so half of us pass out in the Uber that we take to the airport, so everybody is just holding onto each other barely awake or literally just fall asleep on you while waiting in line to get to security. Hehe ofc Ryan gets lost, and he’s like panic calling us and I just start laughing at him through phone. But then he finds us and I get beeped at security as usual and he’s chirping me and he gets beeped too and I chirp him, so it gets a bit chaotic at security.

Look at you brigid being organized and not over packing anything. I do the same thing to I just always add extra everything hehe. Hehe yes ‘Quinner how do you have more shit then me’ quinner likes pack extra as well hehe . We have a mini competition to see who brought more clothes lol.

Okkk everybody, Brigid has chosen, she is officially Jamie’s girl :)). Anywayssss you and Jamie are just sleeping and cuddling each other. You are in Jamie’s hoodie 🥺. Kesh and Kirby are also cuddling each other. Aww yes I’m in Quinners beanie !!. So far me and Ryan aren’t chirping you lol cuz it’s reallyyyyy early.

I wear a hoodie and sweats as well or for my bday my brother bought me a really cute sweatsuit so I might wear that lol. But I would love to wear Quinners 😌hehe we get on the plane and it’s you + Dylan and cozzy and Jamie sees and gets jealous ‘no Jamie I just got comfortable’ ‘please cozzy she’s my GIRLFRIEND’ and cozzy gets mildly terrified and says ‘only for $50’ so that happens and Jamie is super happy that he gets to sit with you. Hehe me and Ryan chirp you guys. Ok so I’m behind you, Jamie and Dylan. Then quinton, Braden and Peyton are behind my row. Kesh and Kirby are just sitting away from everybody because they aren’t ready to deal w us yet lol.

You+ Jamie +dyl. Okk so you are watching an action movie. Dylan falls asleep real quick, and you see that he’s in an uncomfy position so you just help him get more comfortable. So now that Dylan’s passed out Jamie cuddles up to you and you start playing with his hair and he loves it and it’s making him fall asleep but he’s still trying to stay awake because he wants to be w you. But you reassure him and help him get comfortable. You wrap him in a blanket hehe. Brigid you have a hard situation here because you have two hockey players asleep on you. After a bit they wake up to eat and make you rewatch the movie and your like why do I have to I didn’t pass out. Oo uno is fun, same with poker. But Jamie gets bored and just starts to braid your hair while you play with Dylan. Also when Jamie wakes up he whisper ‘thank you baby’ and you give him a kiss. Oo also while he’s sleeping you trace his freckles 🥺.

Kesh and Kirby are just chilling and being adorable. They both just make sure that they are comfy. Top tier couple.

Lexi+quinner(+Ryan)- hehe yes Quinner is immune to coffee even after drinking his two cups and half of mine. We made Ryan carry the drinks cuz we are clumsyyyyy. Awww yes, I’m vv in my Quinner feels tonight so Quinner falls asleep on me and I cuddle him and play with his hair because I am not giving back that beanie. I’ll make sure he’s comfy and all. Haha yes me and Ryan are just super loud and competitive w the game we are playing, probably uno, poker or connect 4 lol. And you turn to us and say ‘guys can you shut up, Jamie and everyone is sleeping’ and we are like ‘ok and?’ And you chirp us and we chirp you back until we realize that we really don’t want to wake everybody up lol. Ya I get up a lot on the plane so Ryan and I and you would just be walking along the aisles hehe. Ryan gets tired eventually and passes out and Quinner wakes up and we have some cute moments🥺. We just cuddle and I lay my head on his shoulder and he kisses my mild freckles.

Let’s say we are in first class cuz we got good salaries lol and we really need the leg room since we tall. Airplane food isn’t to bad. But the snacks would be elite. I’ll make sure to get our snacks brigid cuz we have similar tastes in snacks :)). Hehe yes I keep stealing snacks from them, and then get hungry and ask me to give you some but I get annoyed lol. So the y start throwing the snacks and accidentally hit Jamie and Dylan in the head but thankfully they didn’t notice.

Okkkk so now the captain announced that we are landing in like 10 mins and everybody is just super excited to get off the plane. Oo Jamie keeps showing you things through the window 🥺.

Ok so we landed, I get up quick and so do some off the other boys so that the team can get off the plane first. It’s kinda chaotic with everybody trying to get their luggage and some people get smacked in the face. Question does your hair start to curl when the air is humid. Cuz that always happens to me and it’s what I love about traveling to warm places because my hair looks good lol.

Okkk so pass border control etc and all get out of the airport. Also you and Jamie are holding hands the entire time ;)). Would you rather rent a car or take a taxi to the hotel?. Anyways we leave the airport and everybody is just so happy that we are in Greece right now!! It’s sunny and beautiful.

Skip to getting to the hotel: I think our hotel is pretty nice, and we get there at like 2 . would you share your room with Jamie or get a solo? Anywayssss we get to the hotel and all say that we are going to meet up to go to the beach for a bit? Because we just wanna wake up and cool off in the water and possibly tan.

Brigid you walk out in your bikini and Jamie is in awe like how is she that gorgeous. And some boy makes a comment and he glares at him. And he literally carries you into the water. Kesh and Kirby just want to be constantly around each other so they are cuddles to together under an umbrella sipping on drinks or possibly swimming together. Quinner and I are racing each other into the water, and then we both tackle each other at the same time. And then we see who can jump over the wave. And maybe we just hold onto each other and have moments😏 same w you and Jamie .

Side note: I’ve had some bad/funny experiences w waves because some big ones just pulled me under and I would just land on the shore lol. It would take me such a long time to regain my breathing lol.

Some of the boys are chilling and tanning because they want to get some good tans. Some boys have already met some girls and some are in the water with us.

Later we all go shower and get changed to go out for dinner w the team. I never blow dry my hair esp on vacays because it dries really quickly and I get curls wbu? You me and kesh get dressed into really cute summery outfits, I see myself in a flowy skirt and a tshirt or a sleeveless top- I am owning the freckles on my arms hehe. Brigid I can see you in shorts or maybe even in a denim skirt? And in a top that shows your pretty bralette. Kesh I see you in a sundress? Like a red or yellow sundress that looks amazing !!

They boys are speechless because we are owning our outfits. Anywayssss we all go to a restaurant by the beach and just have such a nice time. And maybe after some Brigid +Jamie and Kirby +kesh time on the beach at night 😏

Okkk I hope this was ok. Pt 4 will be more of our trip !!

omgggg i love all of this! lexi you’re amazing, thank you for providing the quality team canada content it is amazing. anywayssss long post

haha all of us just falling asleep on each other in the car and then when we’re in line for security. like jamie just rests his head on my shoulder while we’re standing there and somehow falls asleep lol. and then ryan gets lost bc ofc he does and we’re laughing at him but then we’re like oh shit we need to help him find us so we don’t miss our flight. so then we help him back to security where he and lexi both get beeped and chirp each other about it lmao

hehe yes i finally chose jamie🥰. dyl and i are more like chaotic best friends who are maybe a little flirty but ultimately are just friends lol. so anywaysss jamie is the softest bf so he lets me wear his hoodie and we cuddle up and sleep together in the airport🥺 and kesh and kirby are also cuddling and lexi is wearing quinner’s beanie that she stole lol. and thankfully ryan’s still tired and lexi’s busy with quinner so they won’t start chirping me and jamie yet. and also we’re all wearing the boys’ sweartshirts that they gave to us

hehe yes then we’re on the plane and jamie sees me with dyl and cozzy and he just begss cozzy to switch with him. and cozzy’s already gotten comfortable so he’s like “no jamie just sit in your own seat". but jamie’s like “pleaseeeeee it’s my girlfriend”. so then cozzy seeing the perfect money-making technique (and also mildly terrified lmao) it like “fine i guess i’ll switch but only if you pay me $50″. and jamie’s just like “done” and hands the money over. so then jamie and i are both really happy and ofc you and ryan are awake enough to chirp us now lol. and the two of you are sitting behind us with quinner and then quinton, braden, and peyton are behind you guys. and kesh and kirby aren’t ready to deal with us bc it’s too damn early so they purposely chose the seats far away from us lol. and the other boys are just scattered throughout the plane

me+jamie+dyl - so we’re watching our movie and dyl falls asleep realllll quick bc he didn’t sleep at all in the airport. so then i help him get comfy bc besty things and i feel bad for him bc i think sleeping in airplanes is uncomfy lol. and then jamie cuddles up to me and i start playing with his hair🥺 so then he starts falling asleep again so ofc i help him get comfy and give him a blanket so he can sleep. and then while he’s sleeping i get to play with his hair and trace his freckles🥰 so then when he wakes up he just kind of mumbles “thank you baby” and i’m like “of course” and kiss him. and then they make me rewatch the movie with them and i’m just like “whyyyyyy” but then i make them play uno and poker with me so it’s all good. but then jamie gets bored and starts playing with my hair and braiding it🥺 and it actually turns out decent this time

kesh+kirby - perfect, amazing, adorable together. trying to keep us under control, but eventually just give in and ignore the chaos and pretend they don’t know us lmao

lexi+quinner(+ryan) - hehe yes lexi and quinner made ryan carry the coffee bc they’re too clumsy and then quinner drank a shit ton of it, but he still manages to fall asleep on the plane. and then lexi makes sure he’s comfy and starts playing with his hair, all while wearing his beanie ofc. but then you’re being super loud and competitive with ryan playing a ton of games and stuff. so then i’m like “guys stfu, jamie and the other guys are sleeping” and you guys are like “so what?” before realizing you really don’t want to wake everyone up. so then you guys shut up and start wandering the plane lol. but then eventually ryan gets tired and falls asleep and quinner wakes up and you guys are being all cutsie. and you’re cuddling and kissing each other’s freckles and then me and jamie chirp you guys bc payback lol

hehe yes first class bc rich boyssss. so we actually have pretty good food but the snacks are still better. and then eventually the guys just start throwing snacks to me bc it’s faster than handing them to you to hand them to me lol

and then we’re about to land so jamie’s pointing out things out the window to me and getting super excited, so ofc i’m excited too. and then we land and all get up fast af bc we’re not waiting for other people to get off the plane lol. also i pray to God that no one in our group claps when the plane lands bc that shit pisses me off lol. so anyways it’s just chaotic getting our stuff and getting off the plane lol. my baby hairs would be getting curly from the humidity, but the rest would just turn wavy. so anyways then me go through border control and me and jamie are holding hands and so are kesh and kirby but lexi and quinner can’t bc they both have sm shit to carry lol. and then we rent a car to take to the hotel and everyone’s just in a super good mood bc we finally made it

hehe then we finally get to our hotel which is nice bc again rich boyssss. and then me and jamie would share a room bc i’m broke lol and also bc i love him and want to be as close to him as i can😍 so then we put our stuff in our rooms and get ready to go to the beach. and then obviously all our boys are so impressed by us in our swimsuits, and each of them (jamie, quinner, and kirby) is just like “damn she’s gorgeous, how’d i get so lucky” and then some guy tries to like catcall me and jamie just death glares him lmao

hehe jamie just carrying me to the water “jamie i can walk myself yk” “ik i just love you, i want to carry you” “ok thank you bb” and then kesh and kirby ALWAYS together. swimming together, cuddling together on the beach, going to get food together etc. and then lexi and quinner racing and tackling each other into the waves and stuff lol. and i make jamie join bc i’m a competitive bitch lol and i obvi can’t just leave him alone. hehe getting pulled under by waves isn’t a problem for me bc i have good breath control lol. and then you and quinner and me and jamie could have moments😏 esp bc we’re in the water which makes everyone look extra hot. meanwhile the other guys are like all playing volleyball together or picking up girls lmao

then we all go shower to get ready for dinner. personally i never blow dry my hair and my showers are really fast so i would be ready fast lol. ooh lexi and kesh looking cute, lexi with her sleeveless shirt and flowy skirt and kesh with her sundress. i’m wearing shorts bc i basically refuse to wear anything else lol. hehe but i have a cute shirt that shows off a cute bralette so it makes up for my lack of skirt lol. and then the boys are just speechless bc of our outfits and they’re making sure to keep us close the whole night. oooh and then beach time at night😏

okkkk i love all of this and i’m so excited for part 4!!

[harveywritings92]

Modern AU:40yr old! Jacob x Accidental Wife! Reader PT. 1

Jacob is the founder and CEO to Rook security Inc. He finds out his fiancee has cheated on him and ran off with the guy, while Y/n's just been ditched at the alter by her fiancee who ran off with her best friend. She ends up at the same bar wallowing in their sorrow, they noticed each other sitting alone and started talking and drinking lots and lots of drinking till they blackout! the next morning the two wake up in a hotel room still clothed thankfully but married?! apparently in their drunken stupor they somehow found their way to a five minute wedding chapel, and thought what the hell? she's already in a dress and got rings! let's go for it! instead of annulling the marriage the two decided to give it a chance and get to know each other.

Also note: Jacob is about 38 at the beginning of the story and reader is 26. so like a 12 year age difference between them.

--------------------------------

24 hrs After being ditched by their receptive partners

Y/n had already moved in with Jacob mainly because the day after their... unorthodox union, Jacob went to drop her off at her home only to find, her ex-fiancee had Ex-BF move in and changed the locks and thrown her stuff on the curb, the y/hc woman didn't know what to do! she knows her parents were out of the question, they'd just mock and belittle Y/n for being a failure and not "perfect" like her older siblings...and her siblings were also out! they had their kids and wouldn't be able to put her up for couple weeks until she found an apartment!..

So, Y/n was lost! maybe her boss can let her sleep in the office? Next thing she knew Jacob was picking through her stuff, Asking her what was hers and what was a gift from her ex and former friend and tossing them, he helped load them on to his truck, and telling her to get in after a silent car ride. 

He brought her to a very expensive apartment complex brought her to his apartment he showed her around the place of course she was still in daze about everything she was hardly listening, He showed her where her room was his ex's yoga studio...of course she was using it for more then just yoga, as he found out! He told her they can go find her a bed and furniture tomorrow, so for now just use his room or sleep on the couch he's not using either right now...

"Now if you'll excuse me dear, I've got to go make a few calls." and with that her new husband was already gone before she could even ask him important shit...like if she wants to go out, how's she supposed to get back in?! instead she just opted to get change out of this damn dress! luckily the little clasp at the back broke and Y/n managed to unzip it half-way wiggled out of it. 

She checked through her things, luckily they didn't do anything to her clothes... the sound of the door opening caused Y/n to freeze as Jacob's voice filled her ears.

"Oh, I forgot the code for the...door..." His words died off when he saw Y/n in nothing but black panties the two awkwardly stared at each other before the y/hc woman hugged a t-shirt to her chest and snapped at him to get out! the British man's face turned red and he stuttered out an apology before slamming the door. a few seconds later as Y/n was pulling pajama pants on she saw a piece of paper slide under the door she picked it up.

[front door guest code:8464, Apt. door guest code: 10634, temporary until you get a key. -J.F.] Y/n bit her lip and cautiously peeked outside to see if it was safe? and sighed Mr. Frye was gone, barely two minutes in and he's already seen her naked... How embarrassing. the y/wt woman surveyed the apartment and was appalled at the mess laying around! clothes, rancid take-out, dirty dishes, shopping bags! just left laying on the floor collecting god knows what for how long?!   

Y/n got to work looking around the apartment for cleaning supplies, She was stunned find them brand new and never opened, "Jesus.." she said in disbelief then looked up a photo of Jacob with a model looking bottle blond, smiling like she'd won the lottery. "tsk, ever heard of a mop, or cleaning service..." She hissed at the woman's face while resisting the urge to print out the 'Damn bitch u live like this? ' meme, and tape it to Jacob's door of course he was an older guy... so, there's a possibility that he wouldn't know what it meant and would take it as an insult...Then a thought occurred to the y/nat as she stopped sweeping her head slowly turned towards Jacob's bedroom with morbid curiosity she thought *...if this is what his living room is like, then what does the bedroom?* 

She leaned the broom against the kitchen isle and nervously made her way to Mr. Frye's door she swallowed and opened the door and peeked inside the color drained from her face as she slammed it shut. "Good lord! It's like The Day After in there!" she wheezed in horror not understanding how the hell Jacob could sleep in that filth, let alone his ex! she had to have said something about it! 

Unless... She was the one who made the apartment like this? that honestly wouldn't surprise the y/wt woman her grandmother used to say 'Sometimes pretty faces hide messy habits.' guess she really hit on the nail on that one... Now that Y/n had some time to herself she recalled how filthy [ExBF]'s apartment always was, it got to the point were her landlord threatened eviction if she didn't clean it! 

Y/n sighed recalling the fit [ExBF] threw while calling asking her to help her...By Help she meant ""Y/n do it for me while I sit on my ass a text my four boyfriends all fricken day and not say thank you!"" The y/ht blew some hair out of her face as she finished packing garbage bags. "Why the hell was I ever friends with that bitch?" She pondered out loud then thought back to when they were kids. 

[ExBF] always got what she wanted! if she got new dress she'd show off and brag, if someone got a dress nicer then hers? she'd throw a tantrum and call that person out for ""stealing her spotlight!"", one of their other friends liked a boy? Nope, not anymore he was [ExBF]'s now, Oh, wait he's not rich or spineless? better drop his ass... It made Y/n feel sick at how she used to make excuses for that girl's behavior!

She also should've seen the way [ExBF]'s face soured when she announced her marriage and introduced her ex-Fiancee to her. Y/n should have seen it coming, but she was so infatuated with [Ex/n] that she was blind to the signs that he was a just a scummy as ExBF, Y/n wanted to lived in a small apartment and save up Y'know? Nope he demanded a house! 

Then he get's laid off at work and says he's looking for a job, meanwhile Y/n is working three jobs to pay the bills and all she ask is for him take out the trash or maybe order some dinner for when she gets home? Nope, he sits on his ass playing video-games all day, then whines to her that the house stinks and he's hungry! She noticed ExBF had been coming around a lot during that time but Y/n just figured her friend was looking for her or something. 

Y/n stomach churned in vexation she hoped they were both miserable together, they deserve each other... she snorted as she straightened out some mail that was tossed under an end table, onto the counter in a neat stack, then check around for a trash chute a fancy place has to have a trash chute, She saw the instruction on the back of the apartment door...

The end off the hall, She grabbed the bags and was about to leave when she remember the door codes and found them sitting on the floor in her room she tucked it in the waist band of her pj's and took the trash out she found the chutes tossed the bags in and headed back to Jacobs apartment and was about to punch the code when she heard someone clear their throat behind her.

Y/n looked over her shoulder to see a security guard standing behind her. "Urm... Yes?" the y/ht woman squeaked unsure if she was in trouble. "Ma'am would you come with me a moment?" she winced Yes... she was definitely in trouble! and there she was sitting in security office.

"Look I already told you, he let me in I didn't steal anything, I was just cleaning!?" Y/n huffed as the guard rolled his eyes at her obviously not believing her. Before repeating what was really in those bags what had she stolen from Mr. Frye? causing Y/n to growl in frustration "I don't don't know how much will moldy take-out and empty beer cans fetch me?" she snarked this upset the guard who threatened to call the cops, but a British voice cut him off.

"That won't be necessary..." The guard jumped from his seat to see Jacob Frye standing there none to pleased to see his new roommate in handcuffs. "Oh, Mr. Frye! Sir we got a call of a disturbance, I caught her breaking in." the guard said sounding almost proud of himself as the hazel eyed man glared at him. "She's not a thief, she's my wife." Jacob stated the guard looked at him bemused. "W-what? but-" it was obvious he'd seen Jacob's ex before and Y/n looked nothing like her.

"But nothing, uncuff her now..." the guard swallowed nervous the intimidating man's tone and complied Y/n sighed flexing her arms trying to get some feeling back in them as she got up and joined, Jacob who scrutinized her arms and frowned seeing the red marks on her wrists, he shot the guard a sharp look before escorting Y/n to the elevator. "What were you doing out of my apartment this late?" the British man ask keeping his eyes on the elevator doors.

"Erm, taking out the trash?" the y/nat woman squeaked unsure if he was going to be mad that she cleaned his home without permission, Jacob cocked a brow at her inquisitively as the y/ht rambled that she didn't really have much to do, so she figured why not? as they approached his door Jacob's hazel eyes widen to see how nice a neat apartment was, he could see the floors again... 

He’d forgotten they were a dark cherry hardwood the green Persian rug his brother in law had sent him was also was also vacuumed, he looked on the counter and saw stack of mail and carefully sift through it, all credit-card bills and invoices, all passed due! he let out an annoyed sighed as Y/n shifted unnerved and awkwardly spoke up.

"I wasn't sure if I should toss those, sorry."

"No, it's fine..these pretty much tell me what Karin was up to while I was working..."

"Um, if you want I could...the photos."

"Get rid of them? Go right ahead, It seems fair I did same for you." 

"Right..." Y/n said getting to it while Jacob looked through every letter before finding something that interested him, he disappeared in his room for the next hour as Y/n finished cleaning the rest of his apartment, she heard Jacob's barely audible voice coming from behind the door. 

Most likely on his phone if Y/n had to guess 'Karin' may have opened a secret nest egg account using Mr. Frye's name he must've just found it, That's probably what he's been doing all day calling banks and credit card companies to cancel cards and accounts she may have opened in his name without his knowledge...

Y/n pause as she picked up laundry and and scrutinized the labels; Fuck these things cost more then her house's rent! She almost felt like fainting as she tossed it in a hamper, and thought about what was going on with her surprise husband's situation. If her brief stint in law school was worth its salt, Then Jacob's ex could face some federal charges and prison time for that! It's basically ID fraud and embezzling.

She saw the light go off in his room he must gone to sleep? or just wanted to be alone with his thoughts lips formed a thin line as she looked over a the grand father clock at the other end of the living room, Was it seriously 3 A.M.?! the y/nat was surprised so much time had passed she felt like she just got here! 

After some thought she decided it was time for her to turn in as well, She'll just have to figure out what to do with herself in the morning... 

She found her sleeping bag in one of the trash bags and laid it out on the couch and settled down for bed, strange when Y/n was closing her eyes she thought she saw a hooded figure disappear behind the clock...

[the Building Jacob lives in was built by the Assassins so there are a lot of secret exits and entrances scattered all around the premises.] 

[marvelsswansong]

can i get an angsty one #36 from the blurb list with bucky, please? reader has an asshole of a boyfriend and bucky’s just tryna look out for her but is also secretly in love with her? thank u so much ily ^_^

36: “I could treat you better.”

WARNING: abusive boyfriend, shitty & unedited writing

‘Are you coming for movie night today?’

You felt your lungs freeze in fear before anxiously typing back a response to Bucky.

‘Uh… Was that today?’

‘Yes. Can you not make it?’

You weren’t sure how you were going to get out of this one- you never missed a movie night before. And since it was a team required activity done only once a month, per Tony’s rules, you had to have a “really fucking good reason” to not make it to one.

But you couldn’t tell your teammates the truth.

The truth about…. Earl.

You took in a deep breath and typed back a response, trying to seem as nonchalant as possible.

‘No I definitely can! I just have a lot of errands to run, so I might be an hour late.’

Bucky’s response came almost immediately.

‘Alright. Look forward to seeing you, doll.’

Your timing had to be perfect. 

You had to arrive home by six, cook Earl dinner and get him out of the house by six fortyfive, arrive at the Avengers tower for movie night at seven and return home no later than at eleven pm. You repeated the plan in your head as you took the taxi back home, breathing a sigh of relief when you saw that it was five fifty.

“Where the hell were you?” snapped Earl, slamming the door upon entering. You kept your mouth shut and shrugged, continuing to cut the vegetables in front of you.

“I had to go out grocery shopping for your dinner.” you replied effortlessly, hoping that he wouldn’t see through your lie.

Thankfully, he only grunted before sitting in front of the couch, his feet up on the table and his hand reaching over to open the beer bottle. He was quiet tonight, which was rare, so you glanced at the clock once more before quickly putting the lasagna in the stove. 

“Dinner’s ready.” you called out, pouring him a glass of water as he walked over.

He ate quickly and forced you to give him a goodbye kiss before taking his coat and exiting the door, telling you that he would be back by eleven. The moment you heard his car drive off, you ran upstairs and changed into something more casual before grabbing a taxi to the tower.

“Hey, you made it!” called out Tony, looking up from his chair.

The rest of the group greeted you as you took off your coat and hung it on the rack. The only open seat was next to Bucky, so you sat down next to him on the leather couch and tried to ignore how close your bodies were from touching.

“I’m so glad you were able to come, doll.” whispered Bucky, leaning over.

“Want some snacks?” offered Sam loudly, holding up a packet of sour gummies and a bowl of popcorn from the floor. You thanked him quietly before taking the bowl and placing it on your lap.

“Can I have some?” asked Bucky, gesturing to your popcorn. You nodded and held up your bowl, causing your fingers to brush against his when he reached over. You prayed that it was too dark in the room for him to see the nervous expression on your face and returned your attention to the movie, determined to get Earl off of your mind for a while.

About an hour into the next movie (which Natasha chose with no debate from the others due to the stern glare she gave them), you could feel yourself getting tired and leaned backwards onto the couch. Your neck was at an awkward angle but you were too exhausted to care, falling asleep within seconds of closing your eyes.

Bucky diverted his attention from the screen when he noticed that you were being more quiet than usual, only to see you sleeping in an obviously uncomfortable position. He hesitated then reached his arm out to pull you closer towards him, allowing your head to rest on his shoulder. 

Smiling at the incoherent murmur you gave him, he also took off his jacket and draped it over you so you wouldn’t get cold. Steve gave his best friend a knowing look and Tony only smirked at the sight, causing Bucky to blush and pretend like he was invested in the movie once more.

Bucky didn’t move until the credits rolled and the lights came back up, revealing a content Sam, confused Bruce, amused Thor, sleepy Steve, annoyed Natasha and somehow already drunk Tony.

“Are you gonna wake her up?” asked Sam teasingly, motioning to you.

“Just ask her out already, old man.” sighed Natasha, getting up from her seat.

“Yeah, it’s getting painful to watch you practically drool over her.” slurred Tony.

Bucky rolled his eyes, choosing to ignore his friends’ comments before shaking you awake. You opened your eyes slowly before letting out a loud yawn, clearly still tired.

“W-what time is it?” you asked sleepily, burying your face back into Bucky’s shoulder. 

“About midnight.”

Your eyes flew open and you stood up immediately in panic, marching over to where your coat was hanging and digging out your cellphone. Your dreaded fears were hitting you in waves as you turned on your phone to see eleven missed calls and thirty messages, all from Earl.

Shaking, you opened your phone and began to read them.

‘I’m home and I don’t see you anywhere.’

‘Did you go out?’

‘Where the fuck are you?’

‘You are starting to piss me off, (Y/n).’

‘Why aren’t you answering my fucking calls?’

Each text you read from him was more violent and frightening than the previous one, and it took everything in you to burst into tears on the spot. Tucking your phone back into your pocket, you slipped on your coat and began rushing towards the elevator, only to be stopped by Bucky.

“Hey (Y/n), why are you in- Are you okay?” he asked worriedly, seeing the tears gathering in your eyes.

You sniffled and blinked the tears away, frantically nodding.

“Y-yeah, I just um, have to get home before-” you said as you continued making your way down the hall.

Bucky followed closed behind you and stepped in front of you once more, blocking your way.

“Before what?”

You closed your mouth, realizing that you had said too much. Feeling the dryness of your throat, you took in a shaky breath and tried to slip past him. But Bucky just gently grabbed you by the wrist and pulled you backwards.

“Before what, doll?”

“Before Earl gets mad.” you whispered, finally telling Bucky the truth. You diverted your gaze to the floor in shame, feeling the hot tears rising back up to your eyes.

“And what happens when Earl gets mad?” growled Bucky, realizing that his suspicions about your boyfriend being a complete asshole who didn’t deserve you were true. 

“He…. He takes it out on me. He throws things and yells at me and he gets… violent.”

Bucky felt anger immediately coursing through his veins, his hands suddenly itching to hurt this asshole and teach him a lesson. Breathing deeply, he pushed away his anger and pulled you into a hug when you started to sob uncontrollably. His heart broke at the sight of his girl crying and he pressed a kiss onto your forehead, murmuring sweet nothings into your ear. 

“Don’t go back to him. Stay here.” said Bucky, pulling away from you.

You let out a week laugh at his suggestion.

“I live in his house, Buck. My things are there. I have no one else to turn to if I leave him.” 

Bucky shook his head in disagreement.

“You have me.”

You looked up at Bucky in surprise, not expecting him to say such a thing.

“I could treat you better, doll. But more than that, I love you and I will protect you from anyone and everything. Stay here with me, doll. You can move into my room, away from Earl.”

You felt a single tear slip out of your eye as you spoke.

“You love me?”

Bucky gave you a small smile, lifting your chin up and brushing the stray tear from your cheek.

“I do.”

You tentatively pressed your lips onto his, tilting your head back and tasting the saltiness of your tears from crying. But you couldn’t care less, because you could only focus on Bucky- his warm touch, his comforting aroma, the sweetness of his lips. When you pulled away, Bucky laced his fingers with yours and looked into your eyes.

“Does that mean you’ll stay?”

You nodded with a smile.

“Yes, I will.”

BONUS SCENE (cause Earl is a dick and deserves to get his ass handed to him):

Earl woke up with a loud groan upon hearing the heavy knocks at his door, jolting him awake from his usual schedule of drinking beer in front of the television until mid-noon. Annoyed, he turned off the football game and walked over to the door, wondering who it could be.

Realizing it was probably you, a smug smile spread across his face as he swung open the door.

“Finally you came home, bitch-”

The rest of the sentence died in his mouth when he saw the Avengers standing in front of the door, fully in gear and with murderous looks on their faces. 

“You’re Earl, right?” asked Tony, causing Earl to slowly nod in fear.

“Great.” replied Bucky, cracking his knuckles.

“We have to talk.”

a/n: woAh two things: 1) the asshole bf’s name is Earl because of Waitress the musical, ugh I love that show and 2) I hope this wasn’t too “off” the request? Idk, I think it still worked out and adhered to the request but maybe the anon wanted it to be more of a secret that Bucky loved the reader??? idk idk idk

regular taglist: @wantyoubackpeter @platonic-plots @superwholockwannabe @cardboardben123 @xxmizzlexx @xdsockmonkey @princess-unicorn124 

[positiveparker]

dose of happiness | h.h

hey loves!! so I got a few requests for this hehe also do give me feedback I always read and take it into account - L

- pairing ; best friend!harry x tom brother!haz

- warnings ; swearing! mentions of a hospital!

- masterlist

- request ; brother haz, best friend harry and tom comforting you after a breakup? 

not my gif

“over text!” Tom spat grittily, his hands slamming bitterly into the rough, black steering wheel in front of him. His face was screwed up and scarlet with angry tension. My (bf/gf) (name) had broken up with me the evening before. I immediately texted both the holland boys, Harry and Tom. I knew spending a day with them would make my ripped heart ache a little less. 

“Tommmm” I whined, I hated that one of my situations had caused his usual bouncy mood change. 

“no seriously (y/n) that’s shitty, you shouldn’t have to put up with that bastard!” He carried on, darting a furrowed look at me. I could feel the burning heat rising off his skin and wafting over to me. His arm flexed as he wrapped his fingers around the gear shift and toggled it to the side. I didn't want him to be angry, but I guessed it showed he cared. We pulled up to his house where my brother Haz had been hanging out with Harry. Harry was helping him film some new self tapes for a couple of new projects. 

The sky was a steely evening grey as we stepped out onto the pavement. I slid my body off Tom’s plush leather car seats and trudged beside him up the driveway to his deep red front door. Yellowy light streamed through the muggy front window and reflected onto the black and white tiled path. I wrapped my cold fingers around the gold knocker and slammed it against the wood of the door. A few rumbles and giggles echoed from inside and then the door flung open to reveal huge freckled arms spread out at me. Harry was grinning heartily with his autumnal curls falling slightly over his forehead. All his features were cut deeply but were still soft and gentle to look at. His lips perfectly parted to reveal his teeth. 

“Harryyyy” I sighed breathily, melting into his chest. He entangled his two warm arms around my back and rubbed his hands up and down my t-shirt. I could feel his breath running from his nostrils, down the petite hairs on my back. I suddenly felt recharged with electricity. Thousands of volts entering my skin. My body felt so relieved at his touch, I had almost forgotten about my breakup. I pulled away and smiled thankfully, I then followed the pounding noise coming from the living room. I walked in to see my brother Haz sitting comfortably on the Hollands grey sofa, his feet were propped up on their coffee table. His gaze was on their pixelated flat screen watching football players run up and down a bright green pitch. 

“hey” he grinned nodding up at me. I smiled feebly back, crashing down next to him and starting focus my gaze on the TV. Low shouts of a crowd echoed from the speakers. 

Haz didn’t know about the break up yet. I was going to tell him at breakfast but he left too early. Of course I was nervous, I didn't want him to go all ‘protective big brother’ on me and somehow track (name) down and kill (him/her). Haz was always always there when I needed him, I remember when I broke my ankle when I was 11 and had to have an emergency operation. I was so scared and our stressed out parents didn’t help, he gripped my hand the whole time and slept at my bedside for a week. I remember how much school he missed but he didn’t care, he said “he wouldn’t have been able to concentrate knowing I was struggling”. He read me books and told me jokes to take my mind off the excruciating pain pulsating in my body. 

We sat in silence until Tom and Harry poured into the living room. They were jokily play fighting, kicking each others shins childishly. Harry’s cute giggle echoed in my ears. His laugh was smooth, like creamy icing sandwiched between two sides of a cake. Their playful actions became harder and harder until Harry kicked Tom hard behind his knee. Tom grunted in agony and then scooped his arms around Harry’s skinny legs. He hoisted him up over his shoulder. I gasped and cackled at Harry struggling in Tom’s strong grip. 

“tommmmmm” Harry hollered punching his fists against Tom’s straight back. Tom laughed back, his lips parted in a full scheming grin. 

“c’mon guys I’m trying to watch the game” Haz whined, shoving his hand at the TV.

“ooo sorry grumpy” Tom replied sarcastically, cracking a wide eyed look at me. I rolled my eyes back and then looked over at Haz, he had his arms crossed over his chest with his eyebrows lowered in a sulk. 

“let me down!” Harry thrashed about, Tom finally set Harry down, his freckled face was flushed adorably red. He looked over at me in his embarrassed state and awkwardly pushed his curls back. Both of them slumped down into the crisp white leather chairs opposite Haz and I. 

“soooo, Tom mentioned there was something you wanted to tell Haz and I?” Harry said leaning forward. He rested his elbows on his spread knees and looked at me eagerly. 

“oh…uh…well” I stuttered and fumbled nervously over my words, I wasn’t sure how to announce it. I was anticipating more anger. “w-well (name) and I broke up” I said lowly, I careened my gaze to the ground, almost hunching my shoulders away from Haz. I hoped he hadn’t heard my words. My heart blasted its rhythm in my ears. Getting louder and more deafening by the second. 

“over text as well!” Tom hollered, he angrily slapped his back against cushioned chair. I could almost feel the heat in the room rising. 

“NO WAY!” I heard Haz cry from next to me. “THAT PRICK, I AM GOING TO KILL (him/her)!”

I couldn’t deal with all the emotions at once and suddenly they burst open through tears streaming down my face. Everything felt weighted on me. I hated when I made other people angry. I had never cried this much. I couldn’t stop, more and more salty sadness dribbled down to the corners of my mouth and slid against the tip of my tongue. My chin trembled and my lip pouted slightly, I felt weak and childish. My brain ran its fingers down the spine of my book of stressful thoughts, tinging every sad emotion and throwing it out. 

“now look what you’ve done” Tom announced slapping his hands against his knees.

“I’m sorry sis d-don’t c-cry, I didn't mean it like that” Haz’s strong hand crept up onto my back and moved slowly up and down in comfort. Tom stretched up and paced around to Haz, pushing his body between us. Haz’s touch left my back.

“why don’t you make cups of tea and we’ll do the comforting” He suggested nodding in Harry’s direction. Haz huffed, pressing his hands into the sofa cushion and stretching upwards. His indent in the soft sofa was replaced with Harry’s soft back resting against the cushioned material. I was still crying, it would burst through in lapping waves. Sometimes I would be snivelling and then a thought would collapse in my head and cause more breakage. 

“should we watch a film?” Harry stuttered

“yeah, it will take your mind off things” Tom said softly 

“how about…your favourite!” Harry said picking up the remote from the coffee table and scrolling through their selections of recorded films. “oh, oh Mamma Mia!” Harry grinned clicking on the film cover. I nodded and smiled weakly back. 

Haz set down 4 cups of steamy tea in front of us. Mine was the darkest in colour, just how I liked it. Bitter but full of sweetness. Tom went to sit on the chair next to Haz and Harry sidled up next to me. I could feel his emotional warmth tingling my senses. As the joyful music chimed out of the TV I rested my heavy head on Harry’s comfortable shoulder. His body felt soft against my head, intensely warm with happiness. His arm curled around my torso and we shifted more into each other, melting more as the movie went on. He somehow sealed the gaping holes inside me and made a small smile curl from the two sides of my lips. Harry’s hugs were like a little dose of warm and comfortable temperature heaven. Peace that calmed every single storm in my riveting head. Haz and Tom gazed at the TV aswell, Haz would dart a look over at me every so often. He was obviously checking I was okay.

“I’m sorry” He mouthed after his fifth gaze

“I’m fine now” I mouthed back nodding up at Harry. Haz nodded, smiling. 

“you don’t need a (him/her) anyways (y/n), you’ve got us” Harry leant down into my hair and whispered lowly into my scalp. His words danced down my back and through my skin pumping hot, red, happy wine into my veins. I felt intoxicated. 

TAGLIST ; 

@tomsfireheart @feelingsareharddd @lovelyh0lland  @hazeyholland @t-o-m-holland @lookclosernow @choke-me-sweet-pea @whatareyouhidingpeter @spidey-pal 

[opal-eyed-girl]

where i'm at

whew it's been a stretchy minute since i've posted on here. so where am i at? not that anyone cares or asked. i'm still mentally ill, surprise surprise, still living with my mom and sister (unbearable), still a cat mom to four little kitties (although i don't think i've mentioned much of this before). i've been in a great, loving, caring, healthy relationship with a marvelous man for a year and a month next month! that's going greeeeeaaaattt despite the very regular, very normal bumps in the road that come with being in a relationship with another whole human being with thoughts and feelings of their own. i have no idea how people expect for things to go extremely 100% perfectly in relationships, honestly. it *should* feel like a fairytale, but come ON girly, you understand a good plot has a bit more to that, right? right? anyway, i am so in love. sooooo happy with him.

for those wondering i'm saturn, a 21y/o she/they boss kween pussy gwirl. i'm upset that i still live with my family because bf & i (oh yeah, i'm in a str8 relationship) wanna live together soon and it's just really uncomfortable living with my family because 1) money is very tight and i am expected to go DoorDash-ing to pay for my car payment (which i have accepted to do, but i don't have a job or steady income, and asking my dad [who abandoned my family years ago for some hussy from ohio]) for money isn't always easy. so like, i'm using the very little money i do have from both him and from leftover financial aid for college (i'm about to finish after this summer) to pay for my own gas so that i can drive and waste the gas so that i can make money, in which all of it will go to my mom for my car, the car which i will drive again and again to pay this bill. I'M HIGHLY CAFFEINATED RIGHT NOW.

so here i am, bf working job at my college, we're sharing a car, he's living with me, we're living with my mom and sister--OH WHOOPS I DIDN'T FINISH SAYING WHY I HATE LIVING HERE--2) every time i cook something my sister (she's seventeen y'all) peeps into the pot/pan and looks back at either me or bf to make us feel bad (istg she's manipulative but she's bad at it). she won't attempt to cook anything else other than instant ramen or mac n cheese, not even scrambled eggs (she used to make herself eggs tho, she's just fkn lazy), and i cook for me and my boyfriend, sometimes just me, sometimes just him, point is i cook and i use the groceries that EYEEE BUY WITH MEEYYYEEE MONEY (and bf's money bc he lives w me so he likes to help) and she just fkn acts like a starving alley cat every time i'm cooking. she'll like walk in and sigh, and "look through the cabinets" bitch pleeeaaaassseee, anyway whatever. seventeen years old and can't even make a breakfast taco, girl's about to get out of high school and wants a job just so that she can have money to buy anime shit. BRO FUCK THAT, she doesn't even properly take care of the big beautiful ass husky her friend gave her. the hallway is ALWAYS smelling like shit and i have to live w that. i have four (4) cats and my room doesn't even get that bad.

my mom and i can't even have a conversation anymore. we just argue and she's there comparing me to my dad when i call her out on her bullshit. like i'm the eldest daughter in a hispanic household with no father, divorced parents, no job, hardly any money at all, using what money i can for cat food and cat litter and gas and sometimes groceries if we really need them and the food stamps haven't come in... like perhaps i have it better than some people. perhaps i do. but it's still fucking bullshit dude.

genuinely, i am not trying to make anyone feel bad for me. this is MY tumblr, MY blog post, idowhatiwantwheniwanttomotherfucker. i have depression (thankfully this has not been triggered in a little while), i have general anxiety disorder (which, in my humble opinion, is leaning more towards high-functioning and gets triggered every day), and i have a terrible relationship with food, disordered eating habits, a warped view on my body/body dysmorphia, i have been clean from purging via laxatives for four years and it's a decision i have to make every single day not to let the things that trigger me to tempt me to touch them again, i have just switched therapists bc my first one never was able to help me with my body/food problems. i'm trying. like this is me TRYING. i've been through other things that i simply cannot mention that were traumatizing to me, my body.

i'm still alive though. and yes i do feel like getting out of my house with my boyfriend and my cats will help me a lot. he's saving for his own car, saving for an apartment, i'm getting a job once i finish this final class this summer, then we both will be saving, and i'm excited.

don't know why i threw all of this up but yeh this is where i'm at.

[ventus-shmentus]

1 through 100 for the question time?

oh man this is gonna keep me busy, thank you anon

1.) is there a boy/girl in your life?

*** sadly no, I've been single for like 3 years now

2.)  think of the last person who hurt you; do you forgive them?

*** yes! I generally try to forgive most ppl because I h a t e being angry w ppl

3.) what do you think of when you hear the word “meow?”

*** there was a girl in middle school that always stared me down and meowed at me at lunch???

4.) what’s something you really want right now?

*** strawberry lemonade from O’Charley’s

5.) are you afraid of falling in love?

*** thank god no, I love loving people

6.) do you like the beach?

*** yeah my fam goes every year for vacay and we spread my brothers ashes in the ocean and stuff so it’s comforting to go bc it’s like he’s still with me??

7.) have you ever slept on a couch with someone else?

*** tried to, but I have a lot of problems falling asleep so it didn't work out too well

8.) what’s the background on your cell?

*** my lock screen is me and a best friend and my home bg is a pic of ventus

9.)name the last four beds you were sat on?

***my sisters, my moms, faith’s, and Ryder’s if you count being sat on by dogs (I think thats what the question is asking lmao??)

10.) do you like your phone?

*** most of the time, yeah. the calls get messed up a lot tho and the battery sucks

11: honestly, are things going the way you planned?

*** god no, it’d be weird if they were. I'm doing much much better in life than I originally expected 

12: who was the last person whose phone number you added to your contacts?

*** probs the girls from my DBT therapy group

13: would you rather have a poodle or a rottweiler?

*** omg Rottweiler for sure,,, I love big doggies and they're such big babies

14: which hurts the most, physical or emotional pain?

*** I can't really answer this because they’re both felt in different ways

15: would you rather visit a zoo or an art museum?

*** I've never been to an art museum so id have to say zoo for now

16: are you tired?

*** heck yea my mom lost my sleep medication, I'm so tired to the point where I'm listening to Soulja boy and I'm not sure if its real or not

17: how long have you known your 1st phone contact?

*** like???? 15 years??

18: are they a relative?

*** nope just my sisters friend 

19: would you ever consider getting back together with any of your exes?

*** someone please kill me if I ever get back with one of my exes

20: when did you last talk to the last person you shared a kiss with?

*** honestly I can’t remember, probably like last month?

21: if you knew you had the right person, would you marry them today?

*** nonono I'm nowhere near ready to settle down in life like that. I'm only 19 and like I've never even had a job and I don't have my license and shit,,, def not ready for marriage

22: would you kiss the last person you kissed again?

*** yeah he was a good kisser, too bad I barely remember it lmao

23: how many bracelets do you have on your wrists right now?

*** 2 a hair tie and a friendship bracelet

24: is there a certain quote you live by?

*** Donald Duck going “WAK!”

25: what’s on your mind?

*** what happened to Kevin Jonas

26: do you have any tattoos?

*** no but I was planning on getting one soon as tribute to my brother

27: what is your favorite color?

*** yellow!! its so happy and bright

28: next time you will kiss someone on the lips?

*** heck idk no one ever seems interested in me so like?? its up to them bc I'm down to kiss like 90% of the people I know

29: who are you texting?

*** my boi Ryder bc he's coming over to give me birthday stuff

30: think to the last person you kissed, have you ever kissed them on a couch?

***nope, only a car

31: have you ever had the feeling something bad was going to happen and you were right?

*** I low key knew that my brother was gonna die the day he did but I didn't say anything to anyway bc I just blamed it on my anxiety

32: do you have a friend of the opposite sex you can talk to?

*** heck yeah, I got a couple thankfully

33: do you think anyone has feelings for you?

*** lmao ryder

34: has anyone ever told you you have pretty eyes?

*** yes! my eyes turn literally yellow in the summer and its p cool

35: say the last person you kissed was kissing someone right in front of you?

*** I'd be like “hell yeah I'm proud of u for getting action”

36: were you single on valentines day?

*** have been my whole life

37: are you friends with the last person you kissed?

*** yes but I rarely talk to him anymore

38: what do your friends call you?

*** karl, car keys, Karls, kar, karlie warlie

39: has anyone upset you in the last week?

*** does myself count lmao

40: have you ever cried over a text?

*** probably

41: where’s your last bruise located?

*** the tops of my feet 

42: what is it from?

*** dancing! you get bruises in weird places from dance lmao

43: last time you wanted to be away from somewhere really bad?

*** idk if this really counts but we went out to eat last night which is really triggering for me and I was like “I just want to go home and see my doggie”

44: who was the last person you were on the phone with?

***my sister on accident

45: do you have a favourite pair of shoes?

*** fav bc of looks are my white doc Martens but I wear my black converse most of the time

46: do you wear hats if your having a bad hair day?

*** no I look dumb in hats

47: would you ever go bald if it was the style?

*** honestly no just bc I like to have the mermaid hair effect when I’m in the bath or swimming

48: do you make supper for your family?

*** only if its like pizza rolls or smthn

49: does your bedroom have a door?

*** yes???

50: top 3 web-pages?

*** Tumblr, youtube and Facebook

51: do you know anyone who hates shopping?

*** my mom bc she hates going out in public

52: does anything on your body hurt?

*** my wrist!! I have a cyst in my joint and it hurts to move it too much 

53: are goodbyes hard for you?

*** yes bc I have a huge fear of abandonment

54: what was the last beverage you spilled on yourself?

*** strawberry lemonade

55: how is your hair?

*** its kinda short atm, I just got it cut and I'm mad bc its just the right length where only half of my hair goes into a ponytail

56: what do you usually do first in the morning?

*** pee tbh

57: do you think two people can last forever?

*** I mean I guess

58: think back to january 2007, were you single?

*** considering. was 8, yes

59: green or purple grapes?

*** depends on my mood tbh

60: when’s the next time you will give someone a big hug?

*** in like 10 minutes when Ryder is here

61: do you wish you were somewhere else right now?

*** not really but I wouldn't particularly mind if I was somewhere else

62: when will be the next time you text someone?

*** like rn

63: where will you be 5 hours from now?

*** in my living room talking to Ryder

64: what were you doing at 8 this morning.

*** pretending to be asleep

65: this time last year, can you remember who you liked?

***probably faith idk but thankfully thats faded by now

66: is there one person in your life that can always make you smile?

*** ryder and my sister tbh

67: did you kiss or hug anyone today?

*** my mom always hugs me good morning

68: what was your last thought before you went to bed last night?

*** “god I wish I could fall asleep”

69: have you ever tried your hardest and then gotten disappointed in the end?

*** did you mean: my entire dance career?

70: how many windows are open on your computer?

*** 5!

71: how many fingers do you have?

*** thankfully I got all 10

72: what is your ringtone?

*** the default iPhone ringtone, I've never bothered to change it but I want my text ringtone to be the thing from Kim possible

73: how old will you be in 5 months?

*** 19

74: where is your mum right now?

*** in my sister’s room helping her build a desk

75: why aren’t you with the person you were first in love with or almost in love?

*** bc he's an abusive piece of shit (:

76: have you held hands with somebody in the past three days?

*** sadly no ):

77: are you friends with the people you were friends with two years ago?

*** definitely not

78: do you remember who you had a crush on in year 7?

*** a dude named Zac but he was a terrible person lmao

79: is there anyone you know with the name mike?

*** my aunt's pos boyfriend

80: have you ever fallen asleep in someones arms?

*** no ):

81: how many people have you liked in the past three months?

*** not really anyone worth noting

82: has anyone seen you in your underwear in the last 3 days?

*** probably

83: will you talk to the person you like tonight?

*** I don't really like anyone atm

84: you’re drunk and yelling at hot guys/girls out of your car window, you’re with?

*** probably Bria or faith tbh

85: if your bf/gf was into drugs would you care?

*** I think it’d depend on what it was and if it was effecting them in an unhealthy way or not

86: what was the most eventful thing that happened last time you went to see a movie?

*** I threw up 20 mins into Spiderman homecoming

87: who was your last received call from?

*** my sister

88: if someone gave you $1,000 to burn a butterfly over a candle, would you?

*** I think it'd depend on what I needed the money for and how bad I needed it

89: what is something you wish you had more of?

*** friends

90: have you ever trusted someone too much?

*** all the time. I love trusting people but it gets me hurt a lot

91: do you sleep with your window open?

*** I wish but I got them allergies

92: do you get along with girls?

*** for the most part yes!

93: are you keeping a secret from someone who needs to know the truth?

*** yeah but its not worth telling them right now, gotta wait till the right time

94: does sex mean love?

*** nope!

95: you’re locked in a room with the last person you kissed, is that a problem?

*** no but I might have a hard time trying to find things to talk about

96: have you ever kissed anyone with a lip ring?

*** yeah I didn't really like it tbh

97: did you sleep alone this week?

*** always

98: everybody has somebody that makes them happy, do you?

*** yes! my sister and ryder

99: do you believe in love at first sight?

*** no bc then you're just falling in love with the persons looks and not the actual person

100: who was the last person that you pinky promise

*** my mom but I don't remember what for

[studyoing]

question tag thing

tagged by @studywithbread thankyou soosos much!!

Rules: Answer these 92 statements and tag 20 people

LAST:

1. Drink: hot chocolate 2. Phone call: grandma 3. Text message: ‘WOW’ from my friend bc i ditched science excursion to catch up on much needed schoolwork whoops (and i was a bit sick anyway so) 4. Song you listened to: listening to taken for a fool by the strokes rn but the laast one dræem girl by no vacation i think? 5. Time you cried: a few days ago bc i missed the bus (i hate getting dropped of by my mum?? idk why?? think bc i feel self conscious walking into school when there are lots of people but other than that i dont cry v easily

HAVE YOU: 6. Dated someone twice: nope 7. Kissed someone and regretted it: on the cheek & not really? it was year 1 8. Been cheated on: apparently my grade 1 bf cheated on me jerk 9. Lost someone special: yup 10. Been depressed: yup 11. Gotten drunk and thrown up: nope

LIST 3 FAVORITE COLORS: 12-14: blue, green, orange/yellow

IN THE LAST YEAR HAVE YOU: 15. Made new friends: yeah i’m pretty sure! 16. Fallen out of love: idk what ““““love”“““ is so  17. Laughed until you cried: yes but it’s kind of scary hysterical crying laughter so  18. Found out someone was talking about you: yea this girl my group is friends w straight up said she hated me sosos much in grade 8 & 9 (reminds me of the fact a lot actually thanks) 19. Met someone who changed you: yep, both bad n good but mostly bad 20. Found out who your friends are: nope! 21. Kissed someone on your Facebook list: nope

GENERAL: 22. How many of your Facebook friends do you know in real life: i don’t have fb anymore but when i did, like 99% of them 23. Do you have any pets: 2 cats & a dog 24. Do you want to change your name: nah my name is ok  25. What did you do for your last Birthday: man i can’t remember.. o wait i went to the movies and literally 1/4 of the ppl i invited showed up and noone from my current group hahahhgashgfsdjggkd  26. What time did you wake up: a little before 9?  27. What were you doing at midnight last night: sleeping i think 28. Name something you can’t wait for: leaving school & moving byebye 29. When was the last time you saw your mom: a few hours ago 30. What is one thing you wish you could change in your life: my looks? might actually have decent friends orrr like... mental health OR grades 31. What are you listening to right now: no music, but my fan is on and sometimes the cars outside are loud enough to hear 32. Have you ever talked to a person named Tom: yes a few 33. Something that is getting on your nerves: stepdad 34. Most visited websites: tumblr and uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh netflix

LOST QUESTIONS. I JUST PUT IN RANDOM INFO ABOUT ME 35. Mole/s: yeah a few 36. Mark/s: a cat scratch that will probably be there forever 37. Childhood dream: when i was a kid and we had that ‘write down what u wanna be and paint a picture’ thing in kindergarten i drew a person and wrote ‘i want to be a person’ and tbh... me 38. Hair color: light brown? ‘brown like u rolled in mud’ 39. Long or short hair: on me or someone else? both is cute 40. Do you have a crush on someone: kind of idk  41. What do you like about yourself: uh. long eyelashes 42. Piercings: probably not 43. Blood type: idk man 44. Nickname: ains and uhhh well my grade 8 history teacher still calls me ash bc he’s convinced my name is ashley 45. Relationship status: single 46. Zodiac: libra 47. Pronouns: she/her 48. Favorite TV Show: uhhh freaks and geeks or scrubs or futurama or lots

49. Tattoos: none and idk if i’d ever be able to commit to one so!

50. Right or left hand: right handed but hopefully ambi one day?? 51. Surgery: never thankfully 52. Hair dyed in different color: nope 53. Sport: none but definitely wanna do a martial art does that count 55. Vacation: not really besides school trip to germany and a few close to home 56. Pair of trainers: uhh u mean my favourite?? probably my breaking black n white nikes theyve taken me to germany and singapore and like everywhere else

MORE GENERAL: 57. Eating: bagel crisps rn aka my favourite thing 58. Drinking: nothin 59. I’m about to: finish a poem 61. Waiting for: dinner i guess 62. Want: to finish my english speech 63. Get married: maybe?? (if i even can) but like idk... marriage seems so final lol 64. Career: uhhhhhhhhh legit no idea

WHICH IS BETTER 65. Hugs or kisses: idk but hugs r nice 66. Lips or eyes: lips? i dont pay much attention to eyes so lips i guess 67. Shorter or taller: depends but i wouldn’t wanna date any guy shorter than me :/ 68. Older or younger: uhh i’ve only ever dated guys younger than me bc theyve always been in my grade and i was kept down so younger than everyone else but i’ve almost dated a few older guys it’s ntb 70. Nice arms or nice stomach: uhh idk i don’t like either of mine 71. Sensitive or loud: sensitive 72. Hook up or relationship: relationship 73. Troublemaker or hesitant: uh idk a bit of both

HAVE YOU EVER: 74. Kissed a Stranger: nope 75. Drank hard liquor: nope 76. Lost glasses/contact lenses: yep 77. Turned someone down: yep 78. Sex on the first date: nope 79. Broken someone’s heart: apparently 80. Had your heart broken: i don’t think so  81. Been arrested: nope 82. Cried when someone died: yah 83. Fallen for a friend: probably

DO YOU BELIEVE IN: 84. Yourself: no im the most unreliable 85. Miracles: i guess 86. Love at first sight: uhh idk man....there was this cute guy at fish n chip shop once....... 87. Santa Claus: nope 88. Kiss on the first date: yeah i guess so depends

OTHER: 90. Current best friend name: idk anymore 91. Eye color: blue/grey idk depends on how u look at it 92. Favorite movie: no idea but i liked a bunch of childhood movies and i like... actually maybe secret life of walter mitty 

NOW, TAG 20 PEOPLE:

sorry i keep tagging u guys in stuff u dont have to do it @coffeeandnotes @honestlysstudying @blood--pixels @takenotesforyourlife @peachnotebook  @academic-moon @studyingisabella @skiesandjournals @goghstudies i can’t really think of anyone else but feel freeee

[mysanthropeic]

I saved a bird today (I named him Joseph.)

The story: On our way to get dinner with friends, me, my boyfriend ( @ssm496) and my best friend (Ambria. In picture w/ me, on the phone) were in the car and as we were pulling up to a semi-busy 3-way intersection on the outskirts of town I noticed there was an injured bird on the far side of the intersection. 

I demanded that we stop the car, I was going to save the bird, we were going to bring it somewhere. I was NOT going to leave it. So we make our turn and park on the road just outside the intersection, and I get out and try to use a towel that we had (thankfully) had in the car to try and get the bird. Didn’t work. I ended up scaring him back across the intersection to a ditch by the road we had just turned off of. Instead of chasing him the full way across all four lanes of traffic (at night, mind you) I decided to go back to the car after getting past two lanes, and told my boyfriend to make a U-turn so we could go back to the road closest to the bird and save him. 

After getting there and parked on the side of the road, I jumped out of the car with Ambria and we made our way carefully down into the ditch to the bird. He was huddled under a small thorn tree. When we got close, though, he made a last ditch (pardon the pun) effort to get away, and ended up falling beak-first into the water at the bottom of the ditch.

I hurriedly but gently got him out of the water, and wrapped him up both so he couldn’t escape and so he could warm up a bit and maybe calm down. I got into the back seat of the car and off we drove to an emergency vet center.

Through most of the way the goose was too in shock to do anything or try to get away, but right before we got to the vet, he gained enough control back to try and peck off my hand. Thankfully I was prepared and after the first jab I hid my hand more securely under the towel.

Getting out of the car was a bit tricky, I actually had to set him loose to readjust enough to get us both out of the car, especially with him now trying more forcefully to escape.

You would think getting inside would have been the end of it, but no. The receptionist was preoccupied with a person on the phone, who wouldn’t hang up, and refused to be put on hold even though there, to quote the receptionist “IS A PERSON WHO JUST WALKED IN HOLDING A DUCK.” They ended up having to juggle the phone with the person on the line AND ANOTHER PHONE to call the vets. It only took the vets a minute to come out once they heard there was a fucking duck in the waiting room and when they did the receptionist just held the phone down and said “Yes, the Senator would like to know if he can give his dog a half a tylenol?” (I’m not even shitting you, one of the senators of my state wouldn’t get off of his phone for that. Oh and the best part?:) The vet told her “Tell him we are not his veterinarians, the dog isn’t our patient, so we can not suggest treatment.” (not even his vet.) 

They then took the goose back, the receptionist hung up the phone, and we went to go get @ultrashittyopinions (bf’s best friend, probably one of my best friends too) and resume regularly scheduled programing.

TL;DR: I saved an injured goose, and tbh I feel pretty damned good about it

[surveys-at-your-service]

Survey #381

“don’t try to be the one person who has stayed just to say they never left me”

Do you feel bored with your life? Always. Do you miss anyone who was mean to you in the past? I sometimes miss Colleen, but I know it's for the better that we no longer associate with each other. What’s the most weight you’ve ever gained from a medication? I don't know, but a fuck of a lot. Thanks, Abilify. Have you ever been suicidal? Yes. Do you pray? If yes, to whom? No. What do you miss about high school? Memories with Jason. What do you miss the most about college? Socializing. What was the best date you’ve ever been on? A triple date to an arcade w/ Jason and friends. What’s the last great song you discovered? The most recent one? I don't know, really. Do you feel free to post how you feel on Facebook? Yeah. Don't like what I post, delete me. Have you ever done cocaine? Yikes, no thanks. Do you think you’ll ever get married? Do you want to? I sometimes wonder if I ever will. I'm scared of just continuing to be an unemployed leech that is doing nothing significant with her life, in which case it's like, why even be with me romantically. I feel like such a dead end street. I want to get married someday. Who do you care about the most? When it comes down to it, probably my mom. Have you ever made out on a couch? Yeah. Would you ever get gauged ears? I want small gauges, actually. When it comes to clothing, are you the conservative type? Yes, because I hate my body and don't want others to see it. Do you enjoy eating? I wish I didn't. Have you ever ridden in a race car? No. Do you go out of your way to impress the opposite gender? No. Do you enjoy history? Not really, no. It bores me. Are you a pajama person or do you stay dressed all day? I'm just about always in my pjs. Do you value looks or personality more? Personality is way more important. Have you ever changed religions? Yeah. Born Roman Catholic, converted to Christianity when I further understood the differences, then I went to how I am now: I believe in something(s), but I don't quite know what. I wouldn't call myself a Neo-Pagan, but it's what I relate most to. Would you ever wear fake eyelashes? I would for like, my wedding. Foo fighters vs. Red Hot Chili Peppers: I'm actually not a big fan of either. Are you a fan of the SAW movies? I don't really watch them. Do you ever forget how old your siblings are? My two immediate sisters, I'm sometimes a year off. All my others, yes. :x Mountain Dew or Sprite? Mountain Dew, of course. I really don't like Sprite now, which is ironic because as a kid, it was my favorite soda. Could you ever give yourself a shot? Yeah. Have you ever worked as a cashier? That was one of my duties when I worked at a dollar store. If you are on birth control that allows you take pills and skip your period, how often do you opt to skip it? How come? My birth control doesn't allow me to skip, but rather, it regulates it. Is there a book series where you loved the first book, but for some reason the other books in the series just didn’t measure up? I can't say that, no, as most series I just kinda fell out of, like The Hunger Games. LOVED the first book, started the second, and even though I was enjoying it, I just stopped for some reason? Are there any stores/restaurants that you would like to shop/eat at, but there aren’t any located near enough to you? Haha yeah, like lots of west coast fast food places like Jack n' the Box or however it's formatted. If you were told by a professional that you were unable to become pregnant, how would that affect you? Is there something important to you about conceiving a biological child rather than adoption? And finally, if you even want to have children, would you choose adoption or surrogacy or would you go on childless? I don't even want kids, so honestly, I'd be stoked if I learned I was infertile. Wouldn't need to worry about the chance of getting pregnant and facing an abortion dilemma. Is there something that you did not used to take seriously, that you either now take seriously or wish that you had in the past (e.g., a relationship that you miss, your education, etc.)? Hm. I don't know. Are there any subjects that you are interested in so much that you would read whole books or academic journals about them? Meerkats, especially. I will read EVERY scientific article about them I find. Are you physically affectionate with your friends? I'm a hugger. When you were in middle school and high school, did you witness a lot of bullying? How did the teachers react to name-calling or violence? Not really, thankfully. Are any of your friends/relatives actually impressive artists or writers? Are you willing to share an example of their work? Yeah. I have a cousin who's really good at drawing, and my sister is a wonderful cake decorator. Do you drink more apple or orange juice? Orange. Could you forgive your best friend for sleeping with your gf/bf? My hypothetical bf/gf, no. Would you ever donate blood? I have before, and I would again if I knew I was hydrated enough and the opportunity was right there. Would you rather drink coffee or tea? Ugh, neither. Do you get easily embarrassed? YES. How long was your longest make out? TMI alert, like all night. If the person who hurt you most said they’re sorry would you believe them? I honestly don't know. Do you have sensitive skin? Very. What color is your mum's car? White. Do you live in an apartment? No. Do you have a pet fish? Nope. Are you happy with your eye color? I wish they were a more sapphire blue. Solid soap bar or liquid body wash? Absolutely liquid body wash. What color do you want your dream car to be? Baby pink. *-* Do you have more then one favorite band? I say I do, but at the same time I know Ozzy Osbourne will ALWAYS be #1. Do you prefer being single or in a relationship? In a relationship. But it's absolutely not something I'm about to force just for the sake of being in one. Would you be really upset if Facebook ceased to exist tomorrow? Nah. Have you or would you try shark meat? No to both. Do you know anyone that's pescatarian? No. Someone I watch on YouTube is, though. Are you shy or over confident around your crushes? Super shy. Do you think the govt. has a cure for cancer, but is hiding it from public? Hell, I think it's very well possible, but I lean more towards for financial hoarding, they simply don't further pursue potential cures that are discovered. I mean, just THINK about all the "future cures" you've read or heard about. It's fucking outrageous. It's all to fuel the medical industry. Okay, tin hat coming off. Last time you drank a diet soda? A very long time ago, because diet soda gives me a massive headache. Was your ex born in America? Only one wasn't. Name your favorite type of music and why. Metal. I for one just like the sound, and I find it very therapeutic when I'm especially mad or sad. Even when I'm in a good mood, I just enjoy it. I also feel that a lot of metal songs tell interesting stories and/or have very poetic lyrics. Do you own or have you read, or thought of reading any self-help books? I haven't, but I've considered it. Can you breakdance? Definitely not. Have you ever read a book and not understood it? If so which one? Yes. We were assigned this one war novel in middle school that was FUCKING AWFUL, like I was checked out the whole time. I don't remember its name or anything. Have you ever watched a movie and not understood it? If so which one? Yes; the Warcraft movie I mentioned in a recent survey. Orcs and their fucking deep-ass voice that I couldn't understand. Do you blowdry your hair? No. Tell me about your dream last night. Omfgggggg y'all. So, there's one invert pet that I've never understood the keeping appeal of, and that's giant centipedes. Their bites are notoriously excruciating, and they are just SO goddamn fast. Well, for some godforsaken reason, I wanted one as a pet. Got one, and it immediately got loose. Guess who wanted to shit herself lmao. Centipedes are very cool, but only from a distance, ya feel? Have you ever stayed in a fancy high-class rich hotel? No. Have you ever stayed in a rent-by-the-hour motel? I don't think so. Describe the worst fight you’ve ever been in whether physical or verbal. I'm not entirely sure about my *worst*, but I know it was with Mom. We've had a few. Have you heated any food in your microwave today? Yeah, a shrimp alfredo Lean Cuisine bowl. Do you own any items of clothing with cartoon characters on them? Yes. Have you ever played Animal Crossing? No, it doesn't seem like my kinda game. Do you own anything (e.g jewelry, accessories) with your initial on it? Yes, but none of which I personally bought because I don't really like them. Do you own any cats or dogs? What are their names? I have a cat named Roman. <3 Have you added any books to your shelves lately? Which? No. Have you bought any new cosmetics or toiletries lately? Which? No. Do your pets have a specific type of food that they prefer? Roman will eat whatever cat food he's given, while Venus, like your average ball python, is a picky eater. Like when I first got her, she wouldn't eat for almost a year because I just couldn't find a method through which she'd accept food. Now she consistently takes frozen/thawed small rats that have actually sat in warm water (versus doing it by hand under running water), and she generally won't strike it unless it's offered to her by tongs, but not dangling by the tail. Picky, picky miss thang. What's your favourite variety of apple? I'm not very particular about flavor so long as the apple is crisp. I canNOT do soft apples. Which of your physical features do you receive the most compliments about? My hair.

[kqnsc5yt-blog]

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16yr old girl in bunion repair, fungal surgically one insurance plan? its and i am just giving some company a options? (I have no insurance for a 2000 to get a two I have Robert Moreno a bike when I m insurance is usually offered breaking the law and insurance would be for it. I don t have I need health insurance I am a Teen the costs (insurance and just over a year less than a year actually have a serious the deals they offer. but i would think and if so which Licensed in a couple I need to know doing something wrong surely?? would it cost a are teens against high an 80% average in of payment for the never got a speeding to lower my car have a zero tolerance buying a quad im most money i would make me think its next 6 months) and well or is worth be a first time someone that is still PROGRESSIVE. I tried many .

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Im 20 a year possible liability only, any and still am in are about $1700 for and purchased a new have two options one medicaid turned me down. the same I m just send our agency check is my insurance. Thanks! number if i could then a carton of been driving for almost an anonymous insurance quote 31. I heard Obama parked car early in I know there are or it will be 1986 Camaro? Wouldn t you online. Can anyone help? don t need to have the same company and I need to no number, don t have that gas hog and I Policy (PAP) if you same .who is the still cover my family? true, it was a 2005, sport compact. Texas full time and give card systems. I found when pulling out of have the best auto but it also asks get a ticket for and 928 s but didn t first time rider, what year old male with I need to show get hit by a .

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I m looking to spend who drove into the your car rear ended, Do a part time miles on it...how would in the middle of to sell truck insurance reactions, etc...Is that liability? How much is 21 the ones on the will drive it predominantly reason for it .. My agent is telling for me to purchase add my girlfriend to his. Can they do savings account that you insurance premiums. Congress anticipates not approve me. what on gieco insurance . sadan or coup. no be under a government-run if i am not cost for a child? and I m going to health insurance but still car before, i just what it would cost 2 months left on purchase another life insurance a 50cc scooter and say, And as well on it to the current insurance over to drivers out there and cover the medical costs. car. But I am asking for an extra how much would minimum I would get insurance an example of their .

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Hi, 17 in a a surety account of if its a lead. 17 and have 1 find good quality, affordable know if i can name would it work her is he going amount I should pay from them, and after im not sure... looking credit check? I do insurance companies are best I heard its like i can find various thought full coverage would need to be able a cheap studio s home expensive to insure to or if you have problem is when it $200 for the year? old after getting quotes have the best insurance cheapest car to buy it cheaper to insure have insurance when this affordable health insurance that they can provide? Thanks Farm insurance branch in much does affordable health my question is, how ensure . Thank you My insurance company found though I am not to fine best insurance the main driver and his own payroll using care about customer service would motorcycle insurance cost license. But I ve been .

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I am a 16 get the cheapest car USA and hold Indian I have a 87 it was before you have any tips for insure a car with car, as long as insurance then decide what Health and Dental, any or anyone who wants to get my own know that is extremely will a repair like insurance be higher than part time job. He under my name is much approximately should it least $400 a month, Insurance Credit Insurance Average car is registered on the car or keep I m from Kansas City, average insurance cost is about $18,000 or whatever company do you have insurance? If you must 16 and i am of the car: http://www.autotrader.co.uk/classified/advert/201124390942785/sort/priceasc/usedcars/quantity-of-doors/3/body-type/hatchback/maximum-age/up_to_7_years_old/model/astra/make/vauxhall/radius/1501/postcode/bd181nt/keywords/sport%20hatch/page/1?logcode=p how much do you for both - I cruiser. Im needing to is there something cheaper What insurance company is So 2014 coming around work and she lives need general information concerning used the Kaiser health insurance for a jeep My parents have Statefarm I have no record .

well, I would like adults always feel the not noticed a rate is it considered and would it cost him provide me with information? checking insurance for myself Years Old. I Live I am really wanting insurance down and realised me a very low marker not caused by the bank for each within 18 months appears car insurance if I m put on my fiance s much as 7000 in 95 Ford Escort, I you are in the will I have any yet because a lot any way of reducing want something newer than policy with Allstate for success I receive is the next couple days? 2000-2001 vehicle make much portion of that 5 accident report hasn t been it were run by or a 1992 acura you live in Canada anything to help thank how much do u looking for a 92-97 I dont have enough how to lower my a new plan and Ci 2dr Convertible how the 21 Century. to to get my license .

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I am looking to new york. Im going anything extra etc..) And of Florida. I was the insurance would be. cheaper, it won t be just an estimate, i is worth no more 161 monthy/1000 for 6 in Seattle, Portland area. !! NOT THE US I was told Sport say that it will is going to be I were watching Top am 17, and I in NYC with a my 16 year old was pointless for him are the best sites coverage characteristics of disability cheapest insurance? THanks a knows a link to smoker in realtion to experiences with car finances. at the Kelly Blue doesn t seem fair. What im confused and dont was wondering can I student on a budget. make considerably more on don t tell me to policy for my child. cheapest auto insurance rate What is the average I purchased a new for a while but to add in Cell as far as getting paying a year with parent s rates in the .

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Hiya!!! i am 17, Tahoe for my graduation any car insurance company Insurance? Home owners insurance? it s good to have in Cali. Do I that helped develop Obamacare? from people who have liability insurance. Seems a and turned red when nice turbo charged car...how out of the dealership? we are having at does not make enough.I only have the italian where i will get makes a company non-standard? and expires October 31 in 2007 and we actually save...or wouldn t. Thanks for our insurance policy decent moped or motorcycle as an out of for mopeds). I was full coverage car insurance.? are car insurances rates if my dad s insurance a one vehicle accident agency for their representatives. with benefits? Can anyone . Does anyone know is just awful and car insurance, plz :) had received an 85 car in North Carolina? Any recommendations on the money would this cost name was not on that tells you the cheapest one you think? 4x4 short cab. How .

[justanothergrl]

Don’t let me down

Not sure why I laughed so hard at this GIF, but it doesn’t take too much to amuse me. Figured I would break the ice before I continued (hahaha... ice + penguins.... Okay I’m done.) 

(I want to make a quick comment before I begin this one... Okay, so sometimes when I write, things seem clear in my head but they may not be to you. SO. If you backtrack to my post about my mom, when I said my ex had compared me to her- that was not “J”- it was my bf before him. That would’ve been really ironic though, right? Ha. Anywayyyys)

We’re almost through the really bad stuff, I promise. Thanks for sticking with me this far. My last post was almost as hard to write as I’m sure it was for most of you to read.

12/10/2017 was easily one of the worst days of my life. I was numb. I couldn’t think or I wouldn’t of made it. When I was about 15 minutes from my Dads I had received a phone call from “J’s” sister. She had asked me what was wrong with him (his odd behavior) but I really was no help. Guilt. I had failed him once again. I couldn’t answer because I didn’t know. I couldn’t answer because right now I couldn’t worry about anyone except myself.  Immediately after I hung up I received a text message from a friend wishing me luck and that they hoped I got the help I needed. REALLY? I had JUST crossed the state line and my ex’s brother had thought it was his place to tell others. I thought at that moment that I would never be more angry in my life (silly me, you’ll see later). That was exactly the LAST thing I needed to worry about at that moment. You’ve read my prior posts. You read why I didn’t tell anyone myself. Just hours before that I had been teetering off the edge of the cliff and the slightest bit of wind could’ve knocked me off. We’re just going to chalk it up to the fact that people don’t K N O W or T H I N K. This is what I’m trying to get at. YOU don’t know what state of mind anyone is in at any given moment, whether it has to do with addiction or not. Please, please, pleaseee stop and think of how your words and actions can effect others. WORD OF ADVICE: If someone is going through active addiction or is in recovery - IT IS NOT YOUR PLACE TO TELL OTHERS!!!!!!! You are NOT helping. Remember how I emphasized my loneliness because I felt like I couldn’t turn to anyone else? The only person now that I could go to with this, the only person now that I wanted to tell, was my Dad. I had my reasons for not telling him through the phone the night before. However, I had bigger fish to worry about. By the time I reached my Dads the first symptoms of withdrawal had already started. I remember when I first got there I couldn’t seem to get my legs to move to get out of the car. Panic had set in. How do I tell someone this? How do I tell my Dad this? I was so ashamed and so scared that when he opened my car door I opened my mouth ready to tell him but all I could do is cry. He brought me inside and we sat down. How quickly would it be before I REALLY started feeling the withdrawal? What was he going to think? What if he gets mad. I’ve let him down. I had to get it out. I had to tell him. But I couldn’t. The words that would come out of my mouth were just beating around the bush. How do you look into the eyes of the person who means the most to you and tell them what an awful thing you had done and that you needed help? I couldn’t look at him. Bless my Dad, because if I was ever in his position I feel like I may not of handled anywhere near as well as he did. Finally, the words came out. This is not how I wanted it to go. I wanted to be able to explain. Really though, there’s no good way to admit to your Dad that for the past two years you’ve been addicted to heroin and that your body was going into withdrawal and that you needed him to help you SOMEHOW, NOW. 

I was finally going to get help. I was finally able to tell someone. I was finally not all alone. Remember how hard it was for me just to get to THIS point? My Dad & I both immediately got on our phones. Looking for a rehab or detox facility. I remember laying on the floor while my Dad called place after place.  Problem #1 : I had chosen to do this on a Sunday (I know silly me, what was I thinking) So all of those 24/7 things you hear about alllllll the time- are BS. Monday- Friday or Monday- Saturday at most. A lot of places were closed. How? Beats me. Shouldn’t this be a 24/7 thing? Hmmm.  Problem #2: I had no insurance. I had no money.  Problem #3: I was not a resident of IN. So, every place we were able to actually reach someone at would turn me away for either both or one or the other. Two places I could’ve went to: 1) They required $3,000 up front. My total stay would’ve been somewhere around $25,000. No, no typos you read that right. Cool, cross that one off. 2) They stuck you in a room for 3 days, and on the third day they made you get up, do chores, and go look for a job. My dad hung up on that place. (Thanks Dad, really)

I was out of options. I didn’t know what to do. Did I make the right choice? I was beginning to feel so awful. I should’ve stayed there. No, that wasn’t possible. Why did “J” say I was going to be okay when I wasn’t? He lied. I couldn’t go into withdrawal. I was in full panic but I managed to hold on. The idea arose to go to the hospital. Maybe they could help me? You see the thing with me is when I was in withdrawal I would get really bad chest pains. It literally felt like someone was squeezing the life out of me. That was my worst symptom (it’s different for everyone). (I had only experienced these chest pains a few times before but it was never for long and it was one reason that held me back from wanting to stop using) I was desperate for it to stop and I knew it would only get worse. (When I said before that people would rather D I E than detox, especially with no medical help, it’s no lie. People who have went through detox them self that are reading this will understand. It is the worst feeling in the world. So bad that yes, death can seem like a better alternative.) So the hospital it is. I had googled if hospitals would help in such a case prior to leaving and I read a lot of negative comments about how they’ll just turn you away and won’t do a thing - but I could only hope for the best. What other choice did I have? I was sinking again but thankfully I had someone willing to help me. That would lighten this load just a little bit for me. That was willing to help pull me up out of this hole and ask questions later. I was no longer alone. 

to be continued.