#thankfully (maybe not) i didnt spray it ON ME i sprayed into the room but whoooo im fucking dying

[bunnyb34r]

I sprayed TWO little sprays of the yog nog perfume and I'm fucking suffocating in here 😵

[yunxi-11085]

"Maybe being a cat isn't so bad!"

˚ · . pairs ¡ platonic(?) dan heng & gn! reader, platonic march x gn! reader, platonic himeko x gn! reader, platonic welt yang x gn! reader

˚ · . sypnosis ¡ “you were talking to dan heng about the next trailblazing mission after exploring Jarilo-VI when you feel something building up in your chest.

oh yeah you forgot to tell them that something sprayed in your face when you were ravaging through some boxes in your time of exploring Jarilo-VI alone

you turn into a cat and chaos ensues.

maybe your relationship with the members of the astral express grows stronger too.

TDLR; maybe platonic, you turn into a cat because of your weird antics and you get smothered by the astral express."

₊˚ପ⊹ tw ¡¿ : (none) just fluff, no use of y/n or (name)

·˚ ༘ tags //

@ send me an ask if you want to be tagged in my stories!!

you were talking to dan heng about the next trailblazing mission after exploring Jarilo-VI when you feel something building up in your chest.

oh yeah you forgot to tell them that something sprayed in your face when you were ravaging through some boxes in your time of exploring Jarilo-VI alone.

“huh?”

poof!

you plop down onto the couch with a thump, thankfully the couch wasn’t hard but still kind of painful to fall on.

owww

“meowwww”

you stare confused at the sound that came out of your throat, and you look down at your new furry body. what?

you raise your ha— paw and stare dumbfounded.

"you....?"

dan heng looked at you, looked at his hands, and looked back at you. you try to scratch your way into the couch out of embarrassment

“lets… tell the others about this.. we might have to go to herta for a health check-up.”

you freeze because knowing herta, she would treat you as if you are some experiment when she sees you. you wail and jump around trying to let dan heng know you dont want to.

he sighs and opens the door, you rush out and see a familiar pink haired figure and you jump in her arms despite knowing she was probably eating.

“woah! what is the super adorable cat doing here?” march exclaims, her voice going super high and cute. she squealed when you rub your head in her arms.

“oh my, it seems it came running from the archives, dan heng.” himeko chuckled, placing the coffee cup on the table and looking at you- or the cat you in a loving way. seems she secretly adores cats too

“yeah… um” dan heng opened his mouth and closed it a few times before you heard a sound coming from the door of the cabin.

welt walked out of cabin room, and his eyes immediately went straight to you. you think something in him snapped when he gripped a— towel tightly? now where did he get that from

he stiffly walked towards you and march, you were scared at first because it seemed like he’s gonna give you an earful before… he squealed. yes. squealed.

he knelt down and wanted to touch you so bad his hands were shaking in excitement, you leapt out of march’s arms and he caught you. he rubbed at your ears and you leaned into the touch. his eyes were glowing literally behind his glasses.

i didnt know welt yang was such a sucker for animals too!

“ahem, uh i think that the cat is…” dan heng spoke, arms crossed. “you..” all eyes were on you now..

“whaa??” march was surprised, she poked you a few times and you pushed your paw out at her. “i dont believe it dan heng! how can someone turn into a cat?”

“it appears to some type of fumes i think, i’ve done some research on it before.” dan heng replied.

“we may have to reach out to herta for some answers then.” himeko said, you hid yourself in welt’s arms at the thought of going through weird tests. “its fine, you can do it! we can give you treats when you are finished” welt exclaimed, patting you when he noticed your discomfort.

so you sadly get carried into the master control room.

though thankfully they didn’t tell you a lie because you were given a ton of sweets.

“so herta said its probably the fumes you inhaled while you were rummaging through those shady boxes. the fumes are nontoxic but can give adverse reactions to the body. you are lucky you didnt inhale too much or you might’ve turned into a rat she said.” dan heng looked at you while reading aloud the medical record.

you avoided his gaze and chewed on your tuna. he was giving you this eye that you didnt bother deciphering.

with a sigh he continued “she said the effects will wear off within 24 hours of inhaling this fume, so if my calculations are correct. you still have 21 hours left.”

“so we have 21 hours of play time with cat you!” march was excited, she even got those.. cat clothes? but you didnt mind it if you get to have treats and belly rubs.

oh you really love belly rubs

you are now in the parlor car with weird but comfortable cat clothes on, while march was taking an insane amount of pictures of you. you swear she probably needs to switch out her sd card every week because she always fills it up.

himeko chuckled and said “march, make sure you send those pictures in our group chat. we have to frame this”

you groan and lay flat down on the couch, when you notice someone handing you a treat. you stare up and you see dan heng. wasn’t dan heng just angry at me?

you still eat it out of his hands though.

you didnt know but march already pulled out her second camera and took hundreds of pictures of your interaction with dan heng.

sigh….

in the next few hours, you played around with a few cat toys. you didnt know how or why but the cat instincts just moved.. now your fighting to get what— a feather…?

its okay, your cute though.

as night approaches, you yawn and fall asleep in someone’s arms. you feel yourself being pushed into a very fluffy bed and you snuggle closer.

the next day, you wake up sandwiched between march and dan heng. with himeko and welt chuckling. oh with their phones out to take pictures of this cute sight.

you didnt mind it though, you liked it.

end note ¡ take this unbeta read work. i really wanted to make mr. yang a huge sucker for small critters and cats so here it is! i wrote a lot more for this fic instead of my other one oops..

i hate how i write for AO3 first because now i have a ton of codes to delete ;; also tumblr mobile isnt working right now somehow???

crossposted on AO3 ¡ here

[wheelsup]

okay but can you imagine spencer washing your hair for you?

like, i never (ever) let anyone (at all) touch my hair, but i feel like he'd be really gentle about it, and there is just something so soft and tender to me about the idea of washing someone's hair for them 🥺

that’s my dream <3 ik you didnt specifically ask for a blurb but i think about this very often. i wrote two versions of this, but this one (with two bickering best friends who are v much in love) won my heart. 

wc: 1.6k   contains: friends (to crushes, maybe ;) ), injured reader. gn!reader

-

“Spence, I promise you that I can do it by myself,” you huffed, attempting to yank off your tank top as you walked toward the hotel bathroom, using only one arm while trying to keep the other as still as possible.

“I’d be more inclined to believe you if you didn’t sound like you were going to cry,” he snickered, following hot on your trail as you tried to escape his hovering. 

“You’re being dramatic.” 

“Oh really? Lift your arm up, then.” He leaned his hip against the marble counter, crossing his arms over his chest as he waited for you to do it. One obnoxiously smug eyebrow arched on his forehead.

Sometime during the case, you’d gotten into a brief tousle with a suspect, who just had to run away when approached. If Morgan had been there, you wouldn’t have even batted a lash, but he wasn’t. So not only had you detained him by yourself, you also wound up with a minor pulled muscle in your shoulder. 

You shot him a sarcastic smile, toothless and irritated, and raised your right arm into the air. He let out an airy scoff. 

“Other one, smart ass.”

Your arm dropped down to your side, your smile falling with it as you turned sharply towards the shower. 

“Look, I’m disgusting right now. So either I suck it up and shower, or you’re going to smell me until the day we solve this case.”

Spencer’s nose crinkled at the gross truth. He wasn’t ungentlemanly enough to tell you, but sharing a bed with a coworker was quite a quick way to discover if they were in need of a shower or not. Your shoulder might be out of service, but both of you could agree that hygiene was a bigger priority. 

“You can’t even move. Just… just let me help you.”

You snorted. “Nice try, Reid. I’m not letting you shower with me.”

He rolled his eyes at your use of his last name. You only called him that when you were annoyed with him. He pushed off the counter and turned to the wall, hitting the light switch and earning a shriek from you as the room suddenly went dark. 

“I won’t look,” he shrugged, amusing no one but himself. 

“You’re a clown, you know that?” you muttered under your breath, drawing back the shower curtain and fumbling around, searching for the knobs in pitch black. “Absolutely fucking theatrical.” 

You found them moments later and ran the water, testing the temperature on the back of your hand. By the time it went from cold to warm, you noticed that he still hadn’t moved. From the sliver of light peeking under the door, you could make out just his silhouette in the corner, perched on the vanity. 

He was being stubborn about this. That, and the comforting fact that you couldn’t see a single thing –– thankfully, not even his face –– wore you down.

“Close your eyes,” you murmured. 

“It’s already pitch black in here ––”

“Close your eyes, Reid.”

Sighing through his nose, he did just that. To make sure you knew it, and also maybe just to be annoying, he made a show of getting off the counter and turning himself around to face the wall. You peeled out of your clothes as quickly as you could. In the process, you caught the long shower curtain under the heel of your foot and, as you stumbled over it, accidentally dragged it along, sending the metal curtain hooks screeching as they slid along the bar.  

The second you found your ground, you immediately shot daggers into the back of Spencer’s head, waiting for him to make a joke. As if he could feel them, he bit back his quip. Not without letting a barely contained cackle slip under his breath. 

“Okay,” you warned, stepping into the shower. Grabbing the end of the shower curtain, you pulled it tightly over your body to cover yourself as you poked your chin out to talk to him. “I’m in.”

Spencer turned and approached the shower, eyes still shut with his hands out in front of him, feeling the walls for guidance. He was still mocking you for making him close his eyes. You raised your brows; he must’ve thought he was quite funny. 

“You look like Velma when she loses her glasses.”

That knocked the funny bone right out of him. His hands dropped to his sides.

“Just get your hair wet and hand me the shampoo.” 

You drew the curtain shut again as you dipped your head under the shower stream, coming back moments later with sopping wet hair and a little bottle of complimentary hotel shampoo. 

He let you sit on the floor of the bathtub, just slightly removed from the spray of the water. Your back was to him, as he kneeled down on the tile floor, just outside of the bathtub so he didn’t have to get wet. You bent your knees to your chest, resting your chin on them.

Spencer first pushed up the sleeves of his sweater as far as he could before deciding to remove it altogether for the sake of protecting the wool against stray water. The cuffs of his work shirt were unbuttoned and rolled up to his elbows as he got to work.

Taking a healthy quarter-sized amount of shampoo into his palm, he lathered it between his hands before running soapy fingers through your scalp. The pads of his fingertips softly dug in as he carefully massaged the shampoo in.

When he started working his fingers in patterns, putting pressure near your temples and increasing it as he dragged them up the curve of your scalp, you let your eyes close. He was getting rid of a headache you didn’t even realize you had. 

The tension you’d been carrying in your shoulders eased a little, and it made him think about how much you probably needed this. One of his hands came down to massage the muscle between your neck and your good shoulder, knowing it was best to just let the hot water do its magic on the bad one. 

When the shampoo had been sufficiently lathered, he stood up and detached the shower head, bringing it down to you so you didn’t have to move. You leaned your head back for him as he carefully rinsed the soap out.

You weren’t going to ask, but thank God Spencer told you to hand him the conditioner next. This, he slathered all over the ends of your hair, making sure all of it was sufficiently covered in conditioner before loosely twisting it into a low, makeshift pony for you. 

“Mm. I was about to ask how you’re so good at haircare,” you chuckled lowly to yourself, in a half-sleepy voice with your forehead resting on your knees. Dangerously close to falling asleep. “Then I remembered what you used to look like.”

You had a lazy smile on your face just thinking about the days where Spencer’s hair used to be down to his shoulders. He looked so pretty like that (not that he didn’t look pretty now, too), you always wondered why he got rid of it. 

“Remember when I got shot in the knee?” he hummed, returning to work your shoulder. He adorned a tiny smile of his own as he started to reminisce. “You came by my house at least once a week. Brought me meals, watched movies with me. Helped distract me from the pain. Even drove me to my physical therapy appointments.” 

You mm-hmm’d that you remembered.

“You pretty much did everything shy of helping me bathe. Though, I feel like you would’ve helped with that, too, if I asked.”

You both laughed at that. You hadn’t really noticed the parallels of your situation, being injured and needing his help for once. He was happy to repay the favor. 

“I’ll, uh. Let you wash your body yourself,” he said, coming out of his daydream for a moment. He rinsed his hands off and got up, patting down his wet hands on his trousers. With one nod from you to confirm that you’d be able to do it, he quickly exited the bathroom to give you privacy. 

You emerged seventeen minutes later, clad in pajamas with towel-dried hair. Spencer was still awake as you crawled onto the bed beside him, more than ready for bed after that. He looked to the side to ask you how the rest of your shower was, and before he could get it out, you shuffled up next to him, winding one arm around his and resting your head on his chest.

“I take it you had a good shower?” he laughed. This was one of his “I told you so” moments, and for once, you didn’t mind it. 

“Mhm,” you smiled, chuckling behind it as you shut your eyes. You were falling asleep fast. “Spence, the scalp massage…” 

“Was good, right?” he boasted, inflating his own ego a bit. 

You nodded against his shoulder, not caring if you helped blow up his ego another two sizes. Burrowing deeper into the covers, nestling tighter against Spencer, you got one more quip in before falling asleep. “S’good that I think I have a crush on you now.” 

Joke or not, he pulled the blanket higher until it reached your chin, holding you with both arms and kissing the top of your head before falling asleep himself.

*

*

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[pbandjesse]

James just said that he hopes it is easier for me to get to sleep tonight, and while I also hope this, I do not have much expectations of that actually happening. 

I could not fall asleep last night. It sucked. I couldnt get comfortable. I couldnt turn my brain off. It just wasnt a good time. He woke up around 2 and was like. Have you slept at all?? And I had to be like. Nope! And then didnt fall asleep for at least another hour. It wasnt fun.

He woke me up at 8 like I asked. And it was hard to get up but not as bad as some days. I got washed and dressed and soon enough we were in the car. Which we had apparently forgotten to lock again because someone had dumped all our sauces on the seats. Thankfully we dont keep anything of value in there. Though they might have taken our umbrellas? Eh. They must have needed it. 

We did have a slight problem of not having an ice scraper still since we lost our old one. So James was trying to get the ice off with his hands and it was making me laugh real hard but then a neighbor came over with theirs and helped out. People are nice. 

We went to the hospital for our covid test. This is James's third test and my first. I was nervous but only a little. It wasnt painful though. James says that they dont go as deep in your sinus anymore, and so while it felt weird, it wasnt even as bad as a strep test. I had that done once when I was a kid and I still remember how much that one sucked. Though after we pulled away from the nurse I sneezed 6 times in quick succession. 

We headed home and the plan was for me to sleep but that never happened. I tried a few times today but it just didnt work. So I did get some stuff accomplished today. I even had a little bit of mail! My goldfish shirt came, as well as the masks Jess made me to sell. And I worked in the studio a bunch today. Not just on my normal things, but on some other experiments. It was fun. I had a nice time. 

I played a little animal crossing though. And did some cleaning. I laid in bed for to long watching videos but I never slept. I tried to just have a nice day, but its hard. 

I also played around with crochet again. I had started that yesterday and then took that apart and started a new two more times. Its good practice for something I havent done in a long time. 

And Yo!! I have to stop tis post all of a sudden because ad I was typing I got my covid test and I'm negative! Christmas is saved! Now we just wait for James's results. Man that was a fast turn around on that test. I feel good now. Safer. Maybe I will actually sleep. 

The rest of today has been nice though. We worked on the train. Yes I spray painted in our living room to make it look like the mountain had snow. We just spent time together and it was really nice. Its been a good day. 

We just got off a call with Lane and Dante and some other friends. Lane gave us a powerpoint presentation that makes me want to spent some time working on my art history one I didnt finish. Its mostly pictures that I need and a few slides of info about general history stuff. That might be fun for tomorrow. 

But now I am in a good mood. And ready to take a shower and wash off my stress and try to actually sleep. 

I hope you all have a great night and a wonderful tomorrow. Take care of eachother! 

[hanniiesuckle17]

Spinning Secrets

A/n: Not requested but requests are open. THERE ARE NO JHOPE SPIDERMAN AUS WTF GUYS

Member: Jung Hoseok (J-Hope)

WARNINGS: Swearing, partial nudity

Summary: Growing up in the bustling city of New York, you aren’t usually used to knowing your neighbors. However, the boy in the apartment above you quickly became your best friend all the way up until your junior year of high school. After spending a summer away from the city, you come back to find your best friend, Hoseok, completely different. He became more muscular and started to become distant to you. You are trying to keep the friendship alive, but your feelings for him are getting in the way and he keeps avoiding you.

Genre: superhero!au, spiderman!au, fluff, comedy?, little bit of angst

My camera slung around my neck as I shouldered my backpack. The late summer breeze blew through my hair as I climbed out my window onto the fire escape. I climbed the stairs until I reached the floor above mine. Not surprising the window opened when I pulled and I climbed into the room.

“Hobi?” When we were little one of us would use the fire escape to see the other late at night after our parents had gone to bed. Now it was just habit to keep our windows unlocked. His room looked the same as before I left for the summer except for the fact that their was this weird metal briefcase lying on his unmade bed. His camera still sat on his desk next to his laptop. We joined the photography club together freshman year. Last year we both got offered internships at a small local newspaper but he turned it down saying he wanted to focus on the schools website. He was always better at the tech stuff than I was.

I smiled looking down at the camera, happy he at least was still doing photography. A lot had changed since I got back. Hoseok didn’t seem to ever have enough time for me anymore. But, that didn’t stop me from trying to keep our friendship alive. If I couldn’t work up the courage to tell him how I felt then I should at least work my ass off to keep our friendship.

“Y/n? What the hell! Give me some warning!” My head turned to see Hoseok walk in wearing only a towel around his waist. Laughing, I went to his dresser and chucked a pair of sweats at him. My eyes quickly allowed themselves to scan his body before I turned around. Apparently more than I thought had changed. I didn’t remember my best friend looking like that. 

“Hey, I got a tip down from the paper. You know the guys that Spiderman busted doing that robbery a couple weeks ago?  They had those freaky weapons. Well some anonymous guy called in a tip about a deal going down in Hunts Point.” The shuffling of fabric stopped and I turned around to face him. “Hunts Point? Wow, that means all that crap goes deeper than the cops let on.” He sat down on his bed and ran a hand through his still wet hair. I plopped down next to him and the scent of his shampoo immediately became present. The familiar and distinct smell of mint.

“You wanna go with me? I might catch Spiderman.” I wiggled my camera next to my face with a knowing smile. His face shifted. “Y/n, you can’t go to Hunts Point.” “Why not?” He stood up in front of me. “Because, you could get killed or.....you aren’t going, Y/n.” He started to raise his voice at me, something he never did before. “Well you made you King Shit of Fuck Mountain?” “What?”

“You heard me! Hoseok after ignoring me countless times these past few weeks, the least you could do is spend time with me even if it means getting killed in an alley somewhere! I left for the summer and when I came back I apparently lost the person I cared about most! I don’t want to lose you as my best friend too.”

Silence filled the room as he tried to understand what I just said. His phone started ringing from across the room. Crossing he looked at the screen and sighed running his fingers through his hair before looking at me. “It’s my internship....I have to pick up, Y/n.” Scoffing, I picked up my camera. “Forget it, Hobi.” My shoulder brushed his as I climbed back out his window. This time I descended down to the street and hailed a cab to Hunts Point.

It had been two hours and finally the tip came through. I had hid out on a rooftop of a convenience store waiting for something to show up. The three guys that had been smoking out front suddenly went into the alley to meet a blue van that had just pulled up. Quickly I crouched down and pulled out my camera. The deal was as the tipper said. I snapped shots as two other guys brought out a couple of weird looking weapons.

“I’m gonna need a demo if you askin me to pay that much, man.” The guy nodded and put on one of the gloves and pressed a button on the wrist. Pink electricity shot from his fingertips and grabbed onto a trash can near by and flung it into the wall hard enough the flatten it.

“Holy fuck balls.” I whispered. Regretting it, I clasped a hand over my mouth. I saw all five pairs of eyes look up to me. Suddenly, I was wrapped up in the electric tendrils and thrown onto the ground. “Bro you said this was a closed deal! We’re outta here!” The three men sprinted away from the alley but the other two just stared at me. I had slammed my head against the ground kind of hard and I felt something wet on my forehead.

“Well, well, well. Look at this little bird. Such a pretty thing spying on us.” He made a motion with his hand and the electricity shot out and grabbed me by the neck, bringing me in front of him by the van. My hands struggled against the coils of energy.

"What should we do with her, Jay?" The man behind him said. His finger came up to my cheek and I kicked and tried to scream. "Why don't we teach her a lesson?" Suddenly his head was thrown against the side of the vehicle and I was on the ground.

"Teach her a lesson? In what dancing?" I gasped for air and looked up to find a man, maybe boy, in a red and blue suit standing on top of the dumpster. "You sir, don't look like a dancer." He hopped off the trash bin with out a sound and landed gracefully.

"Spiderman?" I breathed out. His masked fork turned towards me on the ground. "Oh, hey Y/-----regular civilian." The masked hero scratched the back of his neck and from his voice it sounded like he was laughing. Suddenly a fist flew across his cheek, stunning him.

"Ow. Hey you know violence never solves anything!" He put his hands up like a surrender catching the guy off guard. "Then again it was my pre-K teacher who said that so screw her." His foot met the man's face so fast I almost didn't see it. Next his fingers went to his own wrist and a strong of web shot out and wrapped itself around the guy's chest. With a swift yank, he pulled the criminal straight into his fist, knocking him out.

"Rocky ain't got nothing on me bitch! Wanna go!" He started prancing around like the boxing figure from the film. "Watch out!" I managed to scream before a blast was fired at the Spiderman. He jumped out of the way as the electrical blast fired but his arm got grazed, breaking the fabric of the suit and burning his skin.

He fell to the ground clutching his arm. Seeing a chance I grabbed a pipe laying on the ground and wacked the guy in the face. It didn't do much as he didnt drop the weapon or crumple like they did in the movies.

"Have to say that wasn't my best idea." I said gulping as the man appeared to grow a few feet taller. At least to me in my cowering state of fear and embarrassment. He raised the weapon up to me about to fire when a web wrapped around it, pulling it into Spiderman's hands.

"Nice cap gun! Can I try?" He fired it at the mans stomach launching him into the brick wall behind me. "Can't get that at Party City." He said simply. Chucking the gun onto the street. He shot a large web against the guy keeping him trapped. He then lifted the other guy up and webbed him to the dumpster.

"Something's not right." He stood looking at the man. There was something about his voice that was just so familiar. And his attitude. It was on the tip of my tongue. "You got a pen, Princess?" Wait. No. I was just overthinking it.

I just had a fight with him. Of course he's still on my mind. I would connect the launching of Sputnik with him right now. "Uhhh yeah." I grabbed the sharpie from my pocket and he uncapped it walking over to the unconscious man. The hero who saved my life then proceeded to draw a dick on the man's forehead. "Much better!"

"What are you four?" He turned to look at me and I could tell he was smiling through the mask. "Where did you get that face? The ugly store?" He said in a whing voice, but a laugh came out at the end. It stopped when I raised my fist in warning. I grabbed hold of my camera which thankfully was still around my neck, and started taking pictures.

"What are you doing?" He said warily. "Proof. Say cheese." "I'm vegan." "Say tofu I don't give a shit." He held up a peace sign and you could see the two guys in the background of the picture. "Hey it's getting dark. This isn't a nice part of town. I'll take you home." A web sprouted from his wrist up to the roof and pulled down my bag. Holding out his hand to me he said, "117 ××××××××× St. Right?" Hesitantly, I took my bag.

"How did you know that?" He started to stutter and reached for the back of his neck again. "Uh- umm- I- I'm just your friendly neighborhood Spiderman. I see everything eventually." I nodded still not buying the excuse. "Come on." He held his covered hand out to me once more. This time I took it.

Before I knew it I was pulled very close to the strange person and swinging by web through the New York city skyline. However that wasn't what I noticed first. A familiar scent of mint was coming off the masked hero who held my waist tightly. Soon, he dropped me onto my fire escape.

"Come in for a sec. I want to give you something!" I said to him before climbing in my window. He cautiously followed and waited in my room while I grabbed a bandage and antiseptic spray from the bathroom. "Who's this?" He said pointing to my laptop screen. The background was a picture I had taken of Hoseok about a year ago. I would never tell him, but ever since I realized I loved him more as a person I craved to be with, I found myself taking pictures of him. That was my favorite. He was sitting on the fire escape and looking up at me with his bright smile. The one where his eyes looked like they were laughing. A smile I hadn’t really seen since I got back. The picture reminded me of the Hoseok I fell in love with.

“Oh. Umm...that’s just this boy I’ve had a crush on forever. It doesn’t matter though.” I said sighing and setting the bandages on the bed. “What?!” The masked hero turned to me. I couldn’t see his face, but his voiced was filled with shock. “Uh- I-I mean- Wait. Why doesn’t it matter? I’m sure he likes you back.” Spiderman messed with the frayed edges of my jean jacket resting on the chair. “No. He doesn’t besides he isn’t the boy I fell in love with anymore.” I sat on the bed staring at the superhero.

“You are in love with him?” For some reason his words came out breathy. I just assumed the action of kicking two guys’ asses was just now catching up to him. “Was.” I got up and moved in front of the man child hero. “Now sit. Let me take care of your arm!” He pushed me away gently. “Don’t worry about me, princess. It’ll be a scar by tonight. Perks of being superhuman.” That name. Was it?

“No more being heroic without me okay!” He called as he climbed out my window, swinging into the night. I heard a small crash and cars honking before I heard the voice of the Spiderman yelling, “SORRY!”

Did he really think I wouldn’t notice. He really wasn’t the boy I fell in love with. Pulling out my phone, I sent him a text.

Hobi, r u home? something cool happened!

No, sry princess im out getting groceries for Aunt May

its fine. ill tell u tmrw

I sighed, this confirming my theory. I threw my phone onto my bed and headed out onto the fire escape.

The window of Hoseok’s room slid open about three in the morning. The room was dark and I heard shuffling around in the space. “You grab milk when you were out?” I said from his desk chair. “HOLY FUCK DEMONS BEWARE!” I turned on the desk light to see Hoseok on top of his bed with his fists up. “Y/n? What the hell!” I looked to the red and blue fabric on his bedroom floor. He then realized he stood in only his underwear in front of me. Then he realized his suit lay obviously on the floor in plain sight for me to see.

“Okay, Y/n. It’s not what you think.” My arms crossed over my chest. “Let me get dressed and I’ll tell you all about it.” He started to move towards the closet but I moved my leg to block the closet. By the look on my face he knew not to piss me off right now. Even with him all bulked up he knew I could still kick his mother fucking ass.

“I was- uh-uhhh-It was Jungkook’s fault.” He said scratching the back of his neck. I raised my eyebrow at him and he sat down on the bed. “He wanted to go to this cosplay party- contest......whats it called?” “Convention?” “Yeah. And he wanted to be Iron Man and didn’t have a Spiderman, so I was like shit yeah I’ll go with you! I don’t have anything to do tonight. WAIT NO. That’s not what I meant. I mean I said that the other day. You know when he asked me to go to the event which was tonight.......”

I sat in silence just staring at my best friend expressionless. “I thought we were friends, Hobi.” He looked distressed. “Y/n we are. You mean the world to me, princess.” I shook my head and stood from the chair. “You would tell me the truth if I did.” I started to go out the window, but was pulled back into the room. Before I could turn and say something, his lips were pressed against mine. Hoseok’s hand gripped my wrist and the other went to my cheek.

My hand went to his cheek and the sound of the slap filled the room. He just looked down clearly ashamed. “If I didn’t know already, now I do. He was the only one I told.” With that I left the room and climbed back down to my apartment.

The next morning my phone had forty two messages from Hoseok and eighteen missed calls. I avoided Hobi for the rest of the week. I heard him leave the fire escape each night and saw him swing building to building. Part of me wanted to forgive him. I could see why he didn’t tell me. Every second that part of me wanted to run back up to his room and apologize and just let him hold me. Hoseok was always the emotional one when it came to the two of us. I hadn’t cried since I was six and my mom left, and it felt like Hobi cried every other day for a little puppy in the street or something.

I hadn’t slept for three days. Not for lack of trying. I couldn’t stop thinking about him. I was proud of him. He was saving lives and didn’t even want anyone to know he did it. But, that was Hobi. “Fuck.” I felt a tear slip down my cheek. Wiping it away quickly I turned over and got up from my bed only to see a slim form climbing through my window. He was dressed in the suit, but the mask was in his hand. His dark hair was sweaty and framed his forehead.

“Oh shit. Y/n.” He instantly crossed to me, taking me into his arms. I didn’t fight it. I just let him hold onto me, hoping I wasn’t still crying. “I’m sorry I was an asshole.” He whispered. “Will you be more specific? You are an asshole most days of the week.”

“Wow! Exposed.” I turned to see THE Iron Man sitting on my fire escape. “Hoseok what the hell!?” The Tony Stark was sitting there watching me cry. “Sorry didn’t mean to interrupt. Actually yeah I did.” Hoseok kept his arms loosely around me. “Mr. Stark could you give us a sec?” He said it so casually as if this was a normal Tuesday. Stark sighed and then flew off.

“That was Tony Stark.” “Yeah.” “You know Tony Stark.” “Yeah.” “Jungkook is going to brutally murder you in your sleep if he ever finds out.” He nodded with a smile. I looked down not ready to handle the silence that followed. His covered hand brought my chin up to look at him. “A little spider told me that you were in love with me.”

“Really, you talk to spiders?” “Y/n I was trying to be cheeky like in the movies.” “You should stop that now.” “Okay.” I laughed and that feeling I got in my stomach when he smiled came back. “Do you love me?” He asked, his tone serious. “Hoseok. I have loved you before you were a super-spider. And I will love you long after everyone forgets why you are the most selfless and humble hero there is.” He smiled and I could see his eyes tear up. I wiped away the single one that fell.

“You can’t cry, okay? You have to go be SpiderBoy.” He laughed and his thumbs rubbed patterns on my waist. Slowly he leaned down and placed a kiss on my lips. It didn’t feel desperate like the one in his room. It was slow. Sweet. The kind where you forget that you even need air. The kind that made me want to never kiss another man the rest of my life. Happily I let him take the lead, involuntarily melting into his arms. My fingers tangled themselves in his dark locks.

He had a sharp intake of breath at this action and deepened the kiss, hands moving beneath the fabric of my shirt to feel the skin of my waist. I pulled away to look into his eyes. “I love you.” The biggest smile came onto my face. “You say more things like that I’ll have to keep you to myself all night.” “That I wouldn’t mind.”

“I would.” We both turned to find Tony back on the fire escape motioning for Hoseok to follow him. I pushed him towards the window and Mr. Stark left my sight. Hoseok turned to me as he stepped out on to railing.

“Keep your window open for me, princess?”

“When is it closed?”

Masterlist

[monohart]

stardust. (idol!au)

ft. huang renjun, failure and a secret relationship.

i’m back after a long break, haha. this was an old writing that had been sitting up in my drafts for a while... happy 2019! please spend this year showing more love to renjun. :)

thank you, and enjoy!

when you were cut from the line up for sm’s new group renjun was 100 times more devastated then u were

u were like hey rj cmon don’t worry i’ll be fine??? i’m sure i can audition for another company or smth?? or wait for the next unit debut??

u even jokingly said maybe u could debut in an nct unit but he couldn’t bring himself to smile

and your chest :(( hurt :(( from seeing him so hurt ;;;

ofc for as long as you remember y’all had been talking about both debuting under sm at the same time so y’all could be chasing your dreams and not be too far away from each other

but that plan failed when renjun debuted first with nct dream and had his schedule Packed w nct promotions and concerts and stuff

he and the other nct guys would sometimes let u sit behind the camera in vlives

this one time omg

(( ok so refer to this for a visual :) ))

u sat behind the camera in the chenle jaemin renjun react to baby don’t stop vlive

even though u were hella scared to be kicked out chenle was like HEY DW I’LL FIGHT ANYONE WHO THINKS YOU’RE NOT ALLOWED TO BE THERE OKAY

so u snuck out of your practice session slightly earlier to watch them

renjun was so excited u were there but obvs he had to keep it together for the live

then!! lolololol rip your manager found out u snuck out of practice and found u in the room and pulled u out of the room

(u kno that moment when they all looked behind the camera and then turned down the music.. yeah issa bc ur crazy manager almoST ruined the mood)

manager scolded u outside the room for a good few minutes and then told u to get yourself together

and u stood outside the room for a bit longer after manager left

and u were literally about to leave but then guess who u ran into!!!

chittaphon knew about u and rj since the day he met u and him both

it was kinda funny really bc u and rj stood rly awkwardly next to each other at this company event a few years ago and y’all were standing around the other dreamies and some other trainees and suddenly renjun’s hand brushed the side of your leg and u glance at him and he smiles at u and u look away smiling

AND chittaphon, who happens to be taking a nice long sip of his soda SEES THIS and spits his soda out

accidentally sprays soda onto jeffery’s back

but yeah thats another story

anyway!!!!

ten sees u sulking outside the door and peers in and sees renjun and hears bds

u know that smile smirk ten does when he knows whats Up™.

yeah he does that and be like

“eyy why don’t u go in???”

then u give him a breakdown of what happened with skipping practice and being caught by the manager

and hes like :o

but chittaphon is chittaphon so he grabs you by the wrist and pulls you back into the practice room and hides you in a corner just out of view

and then he sneaks onto them!!

then jaemin... quick-eyed, lovely doe-eyed jaemin... sees u hiding and nudges renjun ever so slightly

he sees u and before he gets flustered ten’s all over him asking how the mv was and flustered rj tries to keep his cool while showering chittaphon w compliments

and u know how ten looks at him like That :^)

and jaemin keeps peeking over their shoulders

yeah :))

OK I SPENT TOO LONG DESCRIBING THIS

but anyway, on that night u were cut from the line up

after the news got to him he sits down and was just like

:(

because he knew how much debuting meant to u and

and... YOUR DREAMS TO BE TOGETHER :(( debuting together and always being close to each other

and u mentioned before that if u dont debut in the next five years u prolly would quit the entertainment industry

maybe go back to school and study some or idk work in a less chaotic industry

in that moment he remembered what u said and was a little heartbroken too

he tried to find you in your usual practice room but u weren’t there and he shouldn’t be loitering around so he gave up and let you have some space

bet u he sulked all the way home

you had travelled back to your dorm because u needed some time alone oof

it took u a good few hours to deal with the news and when u were ready to talk about it again, it was like 3am but u still gave his mobile a call

he picked up on the second ring and said to meet him outside your dorm in a few mins and y’all can go take a walk or smth for some fresh air

so u guys go to the park for a nice quiet walk in the dead of night hhh

u had so many things to say but mostly u were worried with your relationship w him and how y’all were supposed to balance that out given his priorities with nct and you as... just a trainee...

u didnt have to explain anything or other bc he suddenly goes

“what if we went public with our relationship?”

u look up at his face that was hidden behind a mask and his glasses

u deadass thought he was kidding but his that look in his eyes were like hella serious

“just think about it for a second. maybe we don’t have to bring it to the fans, but at least let the company know”

and u were like no way they’ll just do anything to keep yall apart

he didnt answer after that and not too long later yall started heading back to your dorm

it was almost 5am and the streets were still dark and renjun had an arm around your waist and you leant against him and yall walked slowly bc honestly u guys haven’t slept a wink and its been a Really Long day

your dorm was a street away from his

actually he stops about a street or two away from your dorm bc another idol group also lived in the same building as u and there were always sasaengs and people w cameras outside your dorm

u were a trainee so it didnt bother u but renjun was renjun :,)

plus he actually wanted sum privacy so he could kiss u.. so...

hsaksdnd

there was a narrow alley just around the back of the apartment block next to yours

u would never go there alone kasdnj it was scary at any time of the day

tbh

u wouldn’t go even if someone was there with u

maybe it was the heat of the moment or u were just so down that day

it didn’t rly bother u when renjun gently backed u up against the wall and hugged u n took off his mask n buried his face in the crook of ur neck

and that immediately put a smile on your face ur like baby wyd its 5am

hes looks at u like :(( and says “i miss u” in a quiet quiet voice & in his mother tongue

u knew what it meant and hearing him say it in chinese made you uwu to mars

then he showers u with like tiny tiny butterfly kisses and he wraps his arms around u to make u feel safe and warm

which u do!!

he holds u up too when ur knees buckle a bit but then just continues kissing u hehehe

its all sweet and innocent but his kisses last just a tiny bit longer each time, as if hes scared that you’d run away

after he finishes kissing u he meets your eyes and u literally watch his orbs go all soft and he hides his face in your neck again while u mutter about how much of a big baby he is

the goodnight was!!!

the hardest thing y’all had to do omg

he literally didnt want to let u go

and when he did and when u started walking toward ur building u kept looking back, wanting him to head off but he didnt and stood there waiting for u to go in

and u didnt want to go in without knowing he was on his way home and was safe on the walk back wdf it was almost 6am

then when u were almost at the door u saw he hadn’t moved an inch

so u run back to him

he was still standing at the spot where y’all parted - which was a few streets down and out of sight

he scolds u for running back out but he smiles when doing so and u snap his mask back onto his face and kisses him over the mask like 200 times and u couldnt see but hes like dying from the giggles

anyway eventually y’all go home :,) it just took forever :,)

the next day u head to the building in the afternoon to catch up on some sleep

u were a bit guilty to find out renjun went back to work at 7am which meant he practically didnt get any sleep

y’all brush shoulders in the cafeteria but he was walking w hyuck and his manager so u couldn’t stop and chat

tho u couldn’t help but notice his manager steal a glance at u when u walked by and he had this really weird smile on his lips

made u go like huh.,, maybe he recognises me from the many Brief encounters yall had before

anyway u were doing some vocal and keyboard practice later in the afternoon when the door to the private training suite opened and two loud boys stumbled in

made u rly surprised bc u never expected it to be them??

it was taeyong and winwin??

they were both looking at u like :))) as if they did something great :))

taeyong introduces himself formally but you’re like ,, um u know we’ve met before at this function and hes like OH,,, sorry

anyway they were there to tell u how renjun couldn’t shut up about u since he went back to the dorm last night and now all of nct knows about everything to know about u and him (if they hadn’t already)

you’re just like .,, oof what embarrassing stuff did he say

they’re like NO ALL NICE STUFF,, a bit cringey at times

but !! nct wanted to help u

so earlier today

johnny and jaehyun spoke to their managers and night night producers and asked if they could hire a third radio dj - yknow someone who also speaks english and is really nice and entertaining and funny and cool like u are!!

that idea is now In The Talks

winwin brought up a variety thing china line and their managers had been thinking about for a while and also asked if they could consider u

nct managers be like ok so who actually is this trainee and why are all 18 boys obsessively asking to include her in nct activities

later that day when u see renjun again he was just heading off but he came around your practice room to see u before he left

thankfully u were the only one left at practice as the others were away busy preparing for their debut or smth :,)

u didnt hear him come in bc u were sitting in the middle of the room on the floor scrolling replying to week old texts oop hehe

renjun sneaks up behind u and hugs u from behind and kisses your cheek

he got a bit scared when u didn’t respond as explosively as he thought... for a second he thought he got the wrong person poor bean he was so nervous hhh

you chuck your phone aside and tackle him and he falls onto his back and yall kinda lay there on the ground for a bit

and you told him about taeyong and winwin visiting u and he just smiles

“you inspire me.”

“me? inspire you? you’re huang freakin’ renjun, and i, of all people, inspire you?”

“yeah”

“don’t understand u sometimes”

he turns his head to look at u and u turn to look at him and he kinda just admires you for a while then reach over and touches your cheek

it wasnt even a sweet caress or anything he literally just

touched

your cheek

“renjun what the heck”

then he laughs and u laugh and u snuggle against him and for the first time that week both of u feel completely at ease bc even though the dream u guys shared at the beginning was completely shattered,

y’all would still find a way around it

and knowing so many people around u still supported u guys meant so much

especially to renjun bc u were his everything and he’d do anything for u

and i mean it!!!

[jake-richmond]

Thoughts on the Anthem demo:

Since I had to take a day off anyway I decided to try out Anthem. Its a 3rd person adventure shooter by Bioware. I had gotten excited about it last year because it looks a lot like both The Division (game play wise) and Destiny (world design wise), both of which I loved. I spent the day playing the demo with my brother Nick and our friend Gabe (who I also played The Division and Monster Hunter World with). They both seemed to like it quite a bit, but I had very mixed feelings...

Good: Anthem takes place in what appears to be a very large open world. Its interesting looking, with lots of space to explore. I love exploring science fiction spaces, and flying around checking out caves and weird alien architecture was fun.

Bad: There's not a ton of stuff in the world. Its hard to tell since this is just a demo, but Anthem's neat world seems to be mostly empty. Theres not a lot of reason to stop and look around. Even the neat features like the ruins of small communities, giant alien structures, huge waterfalls, etc, are mostly just decorative. There doesn't seem to be much to do. There are a scattering of enemies, but not much reason to stop and shoot them.

- Good: Anthem has a setting kind of similar to Destiny, as far as I can tell. You're the last humans in the last human stronghold, trying to protect your way of life and keep your society and technology alive in a very hostile world. Thats not super original, but destiny had a visual style that I liked a lot,and Anthem's visual style, especially for its hub city and its NPC inhabitants seems to be a direct copy. Which is just fine with me!

- Bad: There's no character creation,and you never see your character. The game asks you to select a masculine or feminine voice, and then starts you off in the hub city with no other customization. Anthem is a multiplayer game, but like Monster Hunter World and The Division your hub is an instanced area available just to you, so no other players will ever see you there. While in the hub you're stuck in first person mode, so you never get to see what you look like. This is incredibly frustrating to me.It immediately killed my immersion. Instead of feeling like i was an inhabitant of this interesting world I felt like I was just me playing a video game. In Destiny, monster Hunter World and The Division I felt like I was directly involved in those worlds through my character. Here it felt more like i was going on a theme park ride. Weirdly, as soon as you put on your futuristic Iron Man style armor suit and leave the hub city the rest of the game is played in 3rd person. So you can see your armor, and so can everyone else. And while you can customize your armor a fair amount, this feels less like having a unique character and more like having a fancy cell phone case.

Good: You can fly. Anthem is a big place, and the main way you get around is by flying in your Iron Man style armor. And the terrain of the game really encourages that. You'll fly through underground tunnels, over vast waterfalls, in and out of ravines. Theres a lot of chaotic vertical terrain to explore by flying. Bad: Unfortunately flying sucks. once you're actually in the air the flying controls are okay. They're a little clunky,a nd don't feel super responsive, but they're okay. Unfortunately, getting in the air is awkward. You can't just take off like superman. you need to actually be in the air before you can activate your jets, which means jumping up and taking off, or falling off something and taking off. Its the "taking off" action thats the problem. Hitting the button sends you into a kind of twist animation that sends your thrusting forward toward wherever your camera is pointing. The action can be disorienting, especially since your character isn't always facing the direction your camera is pointing. As a result, you often start your flight going slightly the wrong way, or even crashing into a wall or object (which can send you falling back down to the ground, sometimes hundreds of feet). The move gets easier to do with practice, but after hours it still felt awkward to me.

The bigger problem is that  you can only fly for about 10 seconds at a time. Flying is both the main way you get around the game and one of the game's main mechanics. You're meant to be flying  and hovering in battle often. But flying has a resource gauge (a  heat gauge) and it only takes about 10 seconds to overheat. Which means flights tend to be short and stressful, and using flying to explore the world, or even just enjoying flying for its own sake, is really limited. You can extend your fly time by cooling down your engines by flying through waterfalls or skimming rivers, but that mostly requires hugging the ground, and that kind of defeats the point?

Good: Missions are fun. Missions in Destiny and The Division tended to be short and mostly revolved around going to a place and killing a guy or flipping a switch.The 3 missions in Anthem are all more involved than that, and while none of them are super complicated all involve multiple locations, lots of different enemies and a boss fight. For this type of game they're satisfying. The game also has some public events in its freeplay exploration mode which seem fun. In one I was blowing up supply tents in an enemy camp while waves of enemies tried to take me down. In another i was collection alien tech while a giant monster chased me through a swamp. I wouldn't say these were more compelling than Destiny or The Divvisin's public events (and nowhere near as fun as coming across a random monster in Monster Hunter World), but they were enjoyable and I can see myself stopping to participate in them over and over. The demo's one Strike/Dungeon was also pretty enjoyable.

Bad: Missions do a very bad job of actually telling you the mission mechanics. Each of the three missions and dungeon had a puzzle mechanic, but I missed the explanation for all of them. Partially this was because the game just says "collect the thing", but doesn't tell you what the thing looks like or where it is. It took me forever to figure out the tiny glowing ball (hidden amidst the explosions, power effects, glowing plants, acid baths, strobe lights, exploding insects, grenade blasts, etc) was the item we were supposed to collect.In another puzzle I totally missed that there was a puzzle at all, and thought the game had just glitched and wasn't opening a door. My second time through the dungeon, after having nick explain the puzzle mechanic to me, I watched the poor random 4th player who had joined our party run around the puzzle room in confusion looking for the item, because he didnt realize that the very unobtrusive and hard to notice pouch that had appeared on his character WAS the item. unfortunately all we could do was  watch, since he didn't have  a microphone connected. 

Good: In addition to being able to equip 2 guns, each of the 4 types of armored suits has a selection of built in options hat allow you to attack, defend or support other players. These can be swapped out or upgraded too, which gives you some fun choices.  I started out with two different throwing weapon attacks, but eventually upgraded to a mine launcher and an acid spray. There seems to be lots of options. Lots of guns too.

Bad: However, gun play sucks. Maybe its just because I've played Destiny for so long, but gun play in Anthem is stiff ad unresponsive. The guns are also just not very fun to use. Theres several types of guns, but they all kind of feel the same and none of them seem very effective.  Thankfully you don't have to rely on just your guns, since the suit abilities are much more powerful. But shooting is a BIG part of the game, an the guns and gun play are just lackluster. The guns themselves may get more interesting as the game goes on, but I'm not sure gun play will at all.

So I'm undecided on the game. This is just a demo, and the game itself could end up being a lot better. But I was pretty excited about this game, and now a lot of my enthusiasm has died. In fact, more than anything its just made me want to go back to playing Monster Hunter World. I'll wait for the game to be released and see what people have to say before I decide for sure.

[killcapitalizm]

my heart flutters when i see you; peter parker

request: “Can you do one where peter and the reader have been friends for a while but peter starts to like her because she got hot over the summer. And the reader has no idea that peter likes her. Please and thank you. I love your writing.😊😊”

word count: 2,123

warnings: bad writing, bad ending. some swearing. i didnt edit this

a/n: thank you sm for the request!! i’m sorry again for the ending. idk how to write endings still. i listened to this while writing if anyone wanted to know? yeah lmao.

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Peter stood at the main entrance of Midtown, clutching his phone in his sweaty hands. He never really knew why the first day back to school made him so nervous, it always ended up just being like any other school day. Even with this in mind, though, his stomach wouldn’t stop turning and he silently hoped that his new deodorant would be enough to fight of his nervous sweat.

He checked his phone again. The last text he got from Ned was be there in 5min. Not that it's Peter’s place to talk, but it's been eight minutes. He was sure that he looked stupid, standing by the doors of the school, checking his phone every few seconds.

Summer break was over now but summer itself sure as hell wasn’t. The days weren't getting any cooler and maybe it was a bad idea to wear a sweater today, not that he'd let May know that. She had warned him that he shouldn't wear a sweater today but his pride wouldn't let him switch to a short-sleeved shirt.

Sighing, Peter looked back up from his phone; Ned was a full five minutes late now. When he looked up, though, he was met with a sight that made him sweat more than any heat ever could.

Only a month ago had Peter last seen you– and don't get the wrong idea, you were always cute to him– but it looked like it's been two years. Was she always that hot?

This sun had given you a nice tan and a light spray of freckles across your face. He noticed how your body curved in such a way that it made him want to drool and he hasn't ever seen you in 90s-esque clothing but damn did you look great in it, and– oh my god. You were busy with your phone at the moment, which gave Peter a nice view of your case, which was usually just a plain clear phone case, but he noticed a new addition that made him swoon. You had placed a photo of him– well, Spider-man in your phone case.

Before he could regain his calm, you pocketed your phone and looked up, instantly meeting Peter’s gaze. The sight of him brought a broad smile to your face and Peter very nearly fainted in front of you.

“Peter!” You waved and jogged over to him, much to his simultaneous dismay and joy. You bumped elbows with him affectionately. It then occurred to Peter that he was still silently staring at you with his mouth wide open.

“Y/N,” he breathes out. “H-Hey… hey! Uh, how've you been?”

“Great! Really great.” You grinned at him, making his heart flutter. “Gosh, I’ve missed you. You haven't changed at all– I’m glad!”

How is it possible to speak so smoothly his brain screamed. “Oh, uh, I’ve missed you too, um. You’ve changed. A lot.”

“I guess I did switch up my closet a bunch.” You pursed your lips.

“But– But you look good!” He quickly added just in case.

Your eyes lit up and your cheeks warmed. Peter noticed the sunlight behind you that gave your hair a golden glow and suddenly the only thing his brain wanted to think about was running his fingers through your hair.

“Really?” You brought a hand to your chest, thoroughly flattered.

“Ah… yeah.” He took a deep breath. “Really, really good.”
 “Aww,” you cooed. “You’ve always been a charmer, Peter. You know how to make me smile. I really do love that about you.”

She needs to stop doing that or I really am going to pass out, he thought, his heart beating way faster than it should. “I, uh, I–“ The first bell of the day rang loud and clear, you shot your head up to the doors behind Peter.

“Shit! My first periods across the campus, I gotta go. See you soon, Pete, tell me all about your summer during gym, okay?” You leave him with that and sprint inside the building.

Peter can’t hear anything but his own breathing as he slowly looks over at the person left behind in Y/N’s wake, wide eyed.

He doesn’t need to hear Ned say “Dude.”

“I know,” Peter wheezes out. “I know, dude.”

“MJ!” You give your friend a quick hug, she doesn’t hug back but you know she’s happy to see you too.

“Y/N.” She marks her page and closes her book. “Off to gym we go.”

She turns toward the direction of the gymnasium and starts walking with you close behind. Before you could ask her how her summer was, she speaks up.

“Parker’s got a thing for you,” she states simply.

You can feel your heart flutter. “What? Peter? There’s no way.”

“I very clearly overheard him talking to ned about how hot you’ve gotten,” Michelle replies easily.


“My boy can recognize when someone is physically attractive.” You bite back an excited grin. Michelle doesn’t lie and the thought of Peter calling you hot? You know you’re blushing.

“Did you–“ She over exaggerates her pause. “Did you just call him your boy?”

“Yeah?” Maybe you shouldn’t have said that to MJ. You thought it was cute.

“I’m gonna puke.” She pushes the door to the girls’ locker room open, and lets you walk in first. “I knew you’d like him too.”

“I don’t! And Peter doesn’t like me, either.” It disappoints you to think about but you really can’t think of anything that indicates Peter liking you. He was naturally a shy and nervous boy– which is incredibly adorable, by the way– so his behavior around you isn’t anything out of the ordinary.

Sighing, Michelle walks ini front of you and shrugs her gym bag off her shoulder. “You’ll see it, Y/N, and if you don’t I’m going to leave you.”

Peter groaned when he saw you walk into the gym with Michelle, a blush already burning his face. “Come on, how does anyone look good in a gym uniform?”

Ned looks over at you two, shrugging. “I dunno, man. I wish I knew.”

You spot peter and his heart flutters when you wave happily at him and he uses every ounce of energy he had to wave back at you, nearly dropping the basketball he was holding. “Gosh, Ned. I mean, I liked her before but now I’m scared to even look at her. She’s way too far above my level now.”

“Yeah, but, bro–“ Ned leaned in and whispered. “You’re Spider-man. Remember what you told me about the picture in her phone case?”

“I can’t just play the Spider-man card!” Peter lightly threw the basketball at Ned, who caught it.

“Why not?” His friend whines, spinning the ball in his hands.

“I’ve told you, Spider-man isn’t a part trick–“

“Hey, losers.” Michelle interrupts the boys’ conversation and nearly gives Peter a heart attack.

“Ned!” You exclaim. “I haven’t seen you all day!”
 You high-five him and give him a quick hug before turning to Peter. “You have a summer to tell me about.”

“Right,” he swallows. You’re standing directly beside him and you smell damn good. “Right. Summer. Uh, pretty boring? Lots of, um, lots of work. Stark Internship. I was busy a lot.”

While he hated how he never spoke without a stutter, you found it endearing. “Really? You worked all summer?”

“Ah, yep,” he replies. He really wanted to know what the hell you did over the summer to show up looking like this.

“Aw, next time we should do something together. I was at the beach almost all of summer– I could bring you along next time? My mom would love to have you there.”

“M-Maybe.” Peter’s breathing ceases when you link your arms together. He falls into a terrible silence and it almost became awful, but Ned thankfully saved the conversation with a change of topic.

“Hey, Y/N, have you heard of Spider-man?” Ned asks very obviously. Peter sends him a glare as you rips your arm from Peter’s and excitedly turn to him.

“Yes? Who hasn’t? I love him!” You smile so brightly that Peter had to look away before he stares again. A heavy blush stains his face and crawls down his neck, burning his ears.

“Well…” Peter hears Ned hesitate and he knows what the boy’s about to say. Ned, I swear, do not– “Peter knows Spider-man!”

You hadn’t been at school the first time Ned announced that– you were sick with a pretty nasty virus all week– and thankfully the news never circulated to you, so this was a shock to you.

“Peter!” You spun back around and you stumbled into him a bit. “You never told me about this!”

“I–I, uh, I wasn’t really supposed to tell anyone– you see, Ned–“ Peter almost scowled at his other friend. “– just found out on accident. He wasn’t supposed to know.”

“That doesn’t make it any less cool that you know not only Tony Stark, but Spider-man!” You giggles, making Michelle pretend to gag for about the tenth time that day. “Spider-man is made of gold. This world doesn’t deserve him, but we sure do need him. I saw him once, he helped a little boy find his mother– it was the cutest thing I’ve ever seen!”

Peter could barely speak, hearing you talk was so pure and heartwarming that he was only able to nod. It was him that you were talking to fondly of. He wondered what you’d think if you knew it was him; would you talk about Peter the same way you talked about Spider-man? They’re the same person but they aren’t one whole. He wished you’d look at him with those eyes of admiration when he didn’t have the suit on.

“Peter said he met him through the Stark Internship, right, Peter?” Ned continued.

“Uh,” he glanced around at Ned and Y/N and– well, Michelle wasn’t paying attention anymore. “Yeah. Stark Internship.”

“That internship’s got you doing all sorts of things.” You sighed. “I still hate how stressed and busy it’s got you but if you’re meeting people like Spider-man then I guess that makes it a little more bearable.”

“Yep.” Peter crossed his arms, avoiding your eyes.

You turned back around, allowing him to look back up at you. He almost wanted to tell you that he was Spider-man, knowing it would get him in trouble but knowing that you’d realize the person you think so highly of is your friend. But there was also a possibility of that reveal going downhill, maybe you’d hate him for keeping something so important from you, maybe knowing he’s Spider-man wouldn’t be enough to win your heart. He didn’t want his love to end your friendship– cliché, of course, but a real fear nonetheless.

He felt someone elbow his side and he looked over to see Michelle.

“Don’t think I can’t see you drooling,” she raised a knowing eyebrow at him.

“And there you go.” Michelle gestures toward the door of the locker room. You pause, setting your gym shirt down.

“What?” You ask.

“Please tell me you saw him making love-eyes at you.” She narrows her eyes at you and you mirrored her.

“He wasn’t making love-eyes at me.” You insisted. “MJ, Peter was way too into Liz to be over her that quickly.”

“Well, Liz is gone and you’re the only one he’s been looking at like that. I’m going to remind you right now that I will leave you if you seriously didn’t notice how much he was eying you. Bedroom eyes, Y/N.”

“Oh my god, MJ, Peter doesn’t do bedroom eyes!” You blushed furiously.

“Fine, fine. It wasn’t bedroom eyes but it was love-eyes.”

“They weren’t love-eyes, okay? He wasn’t even staring at me.” You put on your shirt, shaking your head.

“I’m leaving you.” She grabbed her book and her gym back, walking away.

You rush to pull on your pants. “MJ, wait!”

Your heart fluttered painfully. Michelle was so insistent that Peter was crushing on you, but you knew Peter better than her and that couldn’t be true. You had never seen him staring at you– if anything, you stared at him. You could only hope that he’s never caught you. And Peter could only hope the same thing. When Ned insisted that you definitely liked him, he was just as deep in denial as you were.

It annoyed Michelle and Ned to no end when the two of you refused to acknowledge any romantic interest from the other– especially you– but what would love be without struggle?

[daveywankenobie]

So, the results are in for the Christmas and New Year period.

It was a maintain.

Last week I lost 1.5lbs, and this week I gained it back again – so if nothing else in terms of the holiday season I’m no heavier than I was when I started which is a plus.

In contrast my other half managed her second week in a row losing weight at probably the most difficult time of the year, meaning she dropped at total of 4lbs over the holiday season and because of this also took home the group’s Slimmer of the Week basket!!!

Now it’s my turn to try and emulate her good behaviour because its officially 2020.

Now the hard work starts.

Currently there are a significant number of shirts in my wardrobe that look like they’ve been sprayed onto me – and for anyone that’s been following my blog for any length of time they’ll know that this is a serious issue – because I possess more of this this particular item of clothing than any other.

My last tally came to well over a hundred and then I just stopped counting because I didnt want to stop buying nice ones when I found them. Thankfully my partner seems quite happy to encourage this particular element of my behaviour and she rather likes me in a more flamboyant shirt.

Don’t get me wrong – I’m still not short of shirts and trousers that fit – but some of my absolute favourites are annoyingly out of reach at the moment, and I know that the ones I’m wearing represent (to me at least) someone that I’d rather not be at the moment.

However – there are still wonderful things to find – and (despite their tendency to appear in rather fuddy duddy shops for the middle aged and wealthier denziens of the world) for some time I’ve wanted a pair of Meyer trousers.

Prior to my dumpster diving approach to clothes buying I had no idea about these – but they’re ridiculously well made, comfortable and hard wearing trousers.

They also have lovely stitching and detailing – such as the lining which looks and feels totally awesome!

I picked these up for £5 in a Coventry charity shop – but if I’d bought them new the price would have been VERY different (link).

I have some absolutely prized possessions like these (such as my Paul Smith and Levis 501’s) all of which were found in charity shops – which will last me a very long time indeed if I look after them.

Annoyingly I gave an entire suitcase full of absolutely superb makes of shirts, trousers and denims back to charity about six months ago because they were slightly too big for me.

Consequently I’ve had to re-buy these items over the last month or two just to maintain an operational wardrobe, but it’s been a valuable lesson.

I’ve come to realise that what’s happened to my weight is not failure.

It’s just life.

Well. It is for me and many others anyway.

I have a friend who remarked casually on a walk several months ago that she has dresses and other items of clothing that are well over 20 and sometimes 30 years old that she still wears regularly.

At the time I think she expected me to be horrified when she admitted this to me – but to my mind it represented an absolute dream come true and is practically a perfect description of the guy I’d love to (but don’t think I ever will) be.

For a start it’s environmentally friendly to use clothes for this length of time and because of that I definitely approve. It just goes to show that if you are careful and buy really well made items then they last longer than supermarket fashion brands.

However that wasn’t the only thing that stood out when she said it because most of all her frikkin weight hasn’t changed at all for thirty plus years!!!

The truth is that a huge part of me wanted to just lose all of my fat and then live in a dream world where I never craved anything ever again and where I was to all intents and purposes completely over all of my battles with eating.

I guess it’s why I found the end of my tenure as MOTY such a relief – because I wanted my existence from that point on to be about more than constantly checking and monitoring weight and tinkering with aspects of my diet.

In all honesty I wanted this blog and my everyday world to become a story where I was well adjusted, happily employed, busy doing things I loved and finally – secure in a relationship that makes me feel valued.

Maybe by now I’d have a dog…

Maybe some of that is just wishful thinking though (possibly not the dog though…) because I’ve realised that to leave oneself no breathing room or ‘space to fail’ with deeply entrenched eating habits is a bad thing.

At least for me.

I think I may have to accept that there will be periods in life where I’m the slimmest that I can be and there are others when I’m definitely going to be a bit more cuddly.

Thankfully I recently aquired a great barometer – and she’s proven that she’ll support me when I want to be lighter and also me when I’m a little heavier.

It’s nice to have a voice of sanity (attached to a finger invariably poking me in the ribs) when I’m busy trying to tear myself to shreds with negative inner monologues.

Truthfully though it’s actually helped to have my very first Christmas both off and on plan – and you can trust me when I say that I’ve enjoyed more than my fair share of Christmas cake and other treats!

This Christmas has been very very different to any other year that I’ve experienced though and I don’t just mean in terms of my willingness to consume seasonal nom nom’s.

Since 2016 it’s been relatively easy to have an austere holiday period. I could sit alone at home, not having to acknowledge the time of year and treat each meal time the same way that I would on every other day of the year.

If I wanted to have a salad on Christmas day then who would care? It would after all be only me sitting in front of the TV with a Pyrex mixing bowl full of lettuce so it wouldn’t matter one little bit.

However – after reaching my target weight Christmas suddenly (and a little unexpectedly) became more poignant.

Whereas the 25th of December used to be just a another day on the calendar to me, over time it’s become something that carries a lot more weight than it used to. I’d even go so far as to say that events relating to it have (bit by bit) changed every aspect of my life.

Amazingly it’s only the third year running that I’ve put a tree up.

The first year (link) was something of a triumph for me to do it at all because doing so was wrapped up in lots of long held and very negative associations with my childhood.

When I finally decided it was time to make a change in 2017 the act represented hope and a sense that things were finally changing for the better in my life. I was on my way to target and the tree I bought ultimately ended up covered with decorations that were donated to me by the women at my Slimming World group.

It also had a SW cardboard wish bauble on it with my goal.

Furthermore (although I didn’t buy it) I also had begun to try on some seasonally themed clothing – which was a major leap towards a festive attitude that I’d never felt before.

The following year was quite different though – and instead of me looking at my delicately dressed tree as a symbol of all the positive changes that I’d made in my life (and a reminder of the generosity of others) I instead sat back and viewed it with an overwhelming sense of sadness because all of a sudden it made me feel crushingly lonely (link).

Things happen for a reason though – and as everyone now knows it was that post which prompted my current partner to reach out to me.

The rest (as they say) is history.

This year therefore is (what I consider to be) my first real Christmas since I was a child – because the entirety of it has been spent with someone that’s not only very important to me but makes me very very happy.

Consequently we’ve done Xmas properly – from unwrapping our gifts on Christmas morning (I used to open them as I got them more often than not), having a special dinner, travelling to see family, hosting family, eating cheese and biscuits, indulging a glass or two of Prosecco (I had fizzy pop instead) tucking into in some festive chocolates, playing board games, watching movies and also diving (with great gusto) into some more chocolate.

None of this was really on plan – and I couldnt really even claim it was ‘flexible synning’.

It was really just synning – and therefore my overall maintain is something that is totally deserved. If I (well more accurately WE) hadn’t been so focused on exercise it could just easily have been a massive gain.

Instead my other half and I managed for the entire two week holiday period from the 20th December to today (my partner is a teacher so was off work) to go swimming every single day that wasn’t a bank holiday as well as walking an average of around 9 miles.

For me that meant about 14+ kilometres in the pool and almost 130+ miles on foot.

It’s going to be difficult to get out of the relaxed ‘treat myself’ mentality now though – but do so I must, because now Christmas is over, the decorations have to come down, and my exercise needs to continue without cake.

Balls.

That’s going to be a challenge.

However – I’ve done it before and I can do it again.

Today (Sunday) we got up at 6.30am, got ready, walked two and a half miles to Leamington’s Newbold Comyn leisure centre, swum a kilometre (and I managed a record time for me of 26.50) had a sauna, sat in the plunge pool, walked two and a half miles back again, went straight out to do the shopping (Aldi is CARNAGE unless you’re there waiting for it to open at 9.55am on a Sunday) and then finally returned home to have breakfast and a cup of tea at 11am.

Now all I have to do is not eat everything in sight for the rest of the day and week ahead.

It’s going to be a tall order – but I’m willing to give it a go.

From this point on though (just in case) I’m not going to get rid of the jeans and shirts with a waist that allows for a little bit of wriggle room, but instead put them at the back of a shelf in my wardrobe and save them for a ‘rainy day’.

I’ve currently got nine weeks left on my SW 12 week countdown (I purchased it a while back) and by the end of it I’m calling target – wherever that may be because I have absolutely sod all left to prove and I’m still as fit as a butcher’s dog.

My current goal weight in SW’s system is 15st, and I need to drop a stone and a half in order to get back into that range (15st 3lbs is the top end), which I think is probably do-able in two months.

If I can get any lower then that’s a bonus – but this time around I’ve not got to worry about photoshoots or press calls at the Ritz – I’ve just got to get to a maintainable and comfortable number that suits me and doesn’t mean I have to buy another 100 shirts.

(At least another 100 in a larger size…)

Here goes nothing!

Davey

The wages of cake So, the results are in for the Christmas and New Year period. It was a maintain.