#thank you vin ❤️ i needed this one rn

[saintflint]

top 5 memories (that's you're comfortable sharing ofc)

this took me so long to narrow down, but in the end i chose moments i haven’t really thought about in a long time <3

1: more recently, sometime last fall i think, my sister and her daughter and i all went to the beach together. it was late afternoon and the day was grey and misty so the water was that comforting silver and the waves were so gentle. i rolled up my pants as much as i could (they kept falling down no matter what i did) and jumped in, kicking the water up at myself and splashing loudly. nothing particularly special or significant about that day except that i laughed so much while i was there with them, longer than i had in a long time.

2: my childhood best friend pulling me into a “tango” and dancing with me in the hallway of our highschool homeschooling site. so many of my memories with him are tinged with sadness since we don’t talk anymore but that moment was so random, so stupid and silly (i don’t even remember what he said except that i was laughing the whole time) that i can look back on it with a smile instead of with loss.

3: my college solo workshop. the assignment was to pick a song and sing it before the entire class (over 50 students at least) and then work through it in front of them with the instructors. that year was a year that i was still so extremely self conscious about myself (the year i came out as bi actually) and i remember being so nervous and frustrated with myself while i was up there for most of it. but as i finished the song for the last time, i just looked down and sang to my friends and they were all smiling so wide at me, all of them. when i finished, the whole room stood and applauded and i crumpled over, covering my face and crying while they cheered. when i got off the stage, i immediately ran straight into the arms of my closest friend there and crush at the time and he practically lifted me up as he hugged me and whispered, “there you are.” it was one of first times i truly felt seen and i was happy to be.

4: mid-2020, my siblings and my dad and our closest friend (practically the big brother i never had) dale all went down to a creek near our house. it was super full and the water was so clear and everything was so green and golden. it was kinda busy so me and dale went ahead to the very end, the water all the way past our knees and dramatically humming the lord of the rings theme out loud the whole time as he worked our way over slippery rocks and huge branches. we found so many cool rocks and idk it was just such a peaceful, good time.

5: last year, so many moments with my last preschool class before moving on to my current job. that place had a lot of downsides, the biggest being i couldn’t be transparent as my truest self, but i loved my two year-olds and they loved me and saw me as i really am the whole time. one of the best moments of them all though, my student faith was sitting with me in the afternoon and telling me that she thought another teacher was “so beautiful,” and i asked her teasing if she thought i was beautiful too. and very seriously she answered no, but that i was handsome like a prince.