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jennifer-jeong · 7 months ago

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Okay so first, I really love your LnD fics (patiently waiting for more of your amazing works) 🥹🫶 and hear me out...

Reader who is reincarnated as a Fae being and has been alive since. But the thing is, her wings had been clipped off (with the use of silver chains, meaning she's vulnerable against silver) for a century and is in Linkon city since she feels that part of her (her wings) are somewhere hidden in the city (Think of Maleficent live action ig where her wings were taken from her) and meets the guys and so on :)

HI ANON THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR YOUR ASK AND YOUR KIND WORDS FJDSKLAFJSDL;A I APPRECIATE IT SM!! TY FOR INTERACTING!! I’m so glad to hear you like my fics and I promise more are on the way hehehe please do request me again if you have more ideas!!

I hope I did your prompt justice! I definitely did think a lot about maleficent when writing this hehehehe

Fluff + Angst | LADS x Fae!Reader Angel

CONTENT Angst to fluff, gender neutral reader, mentions of violence, blood, trauma, torture, healing alongside them, mutual pining between you and the boys, happy and open ended endings! ALL CHARACTERS ARE 18+

Your wings were a pretty and pearly milky white. Your wings resembled those of high flying birds. They were thick enough to allow gliding and also strong enough to give you lots of control in the air. They were iridescent in the sun and carried you high in the bright sky. The air was thin but more refreshing up there. You played with clouds and soared through the endless blue. It was freedom. It made you feel alive, warm.

It was your gift, but unfortunately, it was on someone else’s wishlist.

You’d never been a spiteful being, nor had you ever hurt a fly. But when silver chains ripped your flesh and tore your muscle to take your wings, severing your very soul from your body. When they destroyed your forest, your home, your family, your heart. You swore to make them suffer.

You were powerful and hunting these fools down was nothing difficult for you. The problem was hunting without your wings, your best weapon.

The lack of mobility and being forced to fight on the ground made it so that you could maim the weak ones, but you could never reach the ones who profited off the suffering of you and your people.

Linkon city is where they were. You knew this. You could feel your wings there. You also knew that you’d need to hide, figure out who did what and how to get your damn wings back. It would take time, but time was all you had as a fae. You’d do whatever it took to make them pay.

It’d take years, but it was worth it.

2 years later and you’ve already made moves to apprehend (and torture) a few key figures, always leaving them in front of the police station when you were done. You still had so much good in you and it always prevented you from killing. But it made you seethe that they were filthy fucking rich from what they stole from your homeland. They sold your resources and displayed your bodies, your wings, like they were trophies. Life was still cold and depressing for you but you did manage to make some friends in Linkon. They’d even help you with your mission. You only trusted them with the information because they had similar goals.

XAVIER

Xavier was a local policeman you had met a few decades into your plot when you were hired to help with the case. He was coincidentally also investigating illegal hunters and black markets selling goods stolen from other civilizations such as yours. It was a big ring of crime and he was determined to end the atrocities that were being committed in it. Meeting you was just extra motivation on top of his already relentless drive for justice. You became investigative partners since you were both capable in combat and often investigated the same people anyways.

Xavier was kind, gentle, quiet, and stronger than he let on. He always worked without expectation of reward and you appreciated that. You just wanted justice and he wanted the same. It helped that he didn’t seek publicity because it would’ve made your life harder since you were probably wanted as a vigilante from before. Xavier taught you his philosophies and you realized you’d been consumed by your desire for revenge, unable to enjoy life outside of it. You admired him for his morals, so you learned from him, and it made you two grow closer. He was more than happy to help, it was so rewarding to see you slowly become your bubbly self that he guesses you lost a long time ago.

He had his suspicions that you might be fae. The man was smart but he played his cards carefully, he always held them close. He acted aloof with you and pretended to not constantly stare at the back of your shirt, trying to see if you had imprints of missing wings on your shoulder blades. He also figured that your motivation for wanting to crack these cases came from somewhere. If he also managed to figure out that you’d been behind some of the previous mysterious arrests, he’d turn a blind eye. He knew your actions weren’t crimes. He felt glad that you got them back for what they did to you and your people.

After a few years of planned raids and dozens of arrests, one of the recovered items from the warehouse was a beautiful pair of wings. Still buzzing with magic, craving to feel the wind again. You felt them when they were being transported to the police HQ. The surge of energy that continued to approach you made you hold your breath and bounce your leg out of pure anxiety. Xavier put a hand on your shoulder to try to calm you down. He’d already figured out what was going on just by looking at you. You didn’t need to say a word. It was something that slowly came naturally since you two spent so much time together. You smiled and he smiled warmly back. You were in the middle of panicking because Xavier was still touching you when you were presented with your missing soul, your wings. You requested to view the “evidence” privately with Xavier and wasted no time in feeling your delicate wings with your fingertips again.

Xavier stood behind you, his right hand found its way to your upper back. He finally traced the outlines of your cut wings. It made you gasp at first, but you trusted him. As he continued to feel them, you shivered. They were scars, they were more sensitive. He stepped to your side and you turned to partially face him, his hand sliding off of you. You looked into his eyes and your longstanding feelings for Xavier were making their presence known by heating up your face, flushing your cheeks. You swore you saw a slight tinge of red on the tips of his ears too. He spoke to you in his familiar voice that you loved so much. He decided to tease you slightly.

“I think I always knew that you’d have wings, you were too perfect to not be an angel.”

ZAYNE

Zayne was a surgeon you’d met one day when he treated your wounds since you collapsed outside the hospital. He discovered the scars where your wings used to sit on your back. You were high off the morphine when he checked your back for more injuries so you barely even realized.

He questioned you but not in the way you expected. You thought he wouldn’t know what they were or try to take advantage of you. But instead he asked what you knew about the hunters that took your wings. He already knew exactly what happened to you just by looking. He was involved in cracking down on research related to Fae and Lemurians since there were people trying to fuse their genetics with these races to gain their beneficial traits such as immortality.

He knew some things you didn’t know and vice versa. You both began working on this together, investigating research facilities, interrogating suspects, and fighting only when needed. You were unstoppable and the law didn’t plan to ask you to let up. You both hand delivered them collectors and shadowy figures that had hid from the police for so long. When you fought, Zayne could both heal and attack from afar while you rushed them head on. You were unafraid because you believed in your partner, your trust in Zayne only grew as the years went on.

Early on, Zayne encouraged you to let go of the spite, the revenge. You knew he was right when he said that they did not benefit you in this. He saw the rage in you and could see that it was hurting you, mentally and physically. You listened, you knew better. You stopped the relentless tortures and instead, let the collectors rot in jail, but not before you got in a few good punches. Zayne watched you slowly come out of your shell again, actually taking the time to enjoy the little things in life instead of being hyper focused on revenge. He’d be lying if he said you weren’t one of the most rewarding patients he’d ever had.

Working with your partner was definitely quite the rollercoaster. He was always so professional and mature but would also randomly tease you as if you were kids, albeit with a fully deadpan expression. Zayne was reserved and often came off as cold but he made you so warm. You knew he was an extremely compassionate and kind person under his exterior and you admired him for it. Zayne also adored you in the same way. You had gone through so much pain and suffering but you still smiled and shined like the sun.

Over time you adapted to live without your wings but after one specific raid on a collector’s mansion, you knew exactly what the collector’s prized possession was because it belonged to you. You could feel your wings. They still surged with energy and upon seeing them when you went to do follow up investigation, you immediately called to them. They flew towards you and you inspected them, almost not believing the scene in front of you. Zayne stayed close ready to support you, especially if you were to fuse with your wings again, he knew it’d be hard to keep them hidden and it’d just bring up so much previous trauma.

You turned to face him slowly, leaving your wings behind you. You hesitated. Not letting your wings fuse with you yet. Zayne looked into your eyes, trying to comfort you with his presence. After a few seconds, Zayne held out his hand, you took it. His skin was cold but somehow it made yours burn, the heat spreading through your body as your face warmed up. He spoke quietly to you, telling you to take your time. You closed your eyes and took deep breaths, your thumb slowly caressing the back of Zayne's hand as he did the same back.

Zayne had always been good at comforting you with his words, maybe it just came naturally since he was a doctor. Regardless, you knew it was exactly what you needed right now. You didn’t know what you’d do after you got your wings back. Would you go home? Would you continue this mission with Zayne? Would having your wings make it harder? Would it make it easier? You confided in Zayne as you spoke your thoughts out loud. Once you were done, you were overwhelmed and he could tell. He started his reply with a sentence that filled you with warmth, hope, and a little bit of giddiness. He speaks, teasing you a bit at the end, his face flushing.

“It doesn’t matter what you are or if you have the wings or not, you’re beautiful and you should follow your heart… especially if it’s here.”

RAFAYEL

Rafayel was a painter “looking for art or inspiration” that you met at an underground event where illegal goods were being sold, but you quickly figured out it was a front. Rafayel was a Lemurian, you sensed it immediately since you weren’t human. As a fae you had the ability to sense certain things, and so did Rafayel. Upon meeting each other at an art exhibition, you quickly exchanged information and agreed to meet up again the next day. You almost simultaneously revealed that you were both after the hunters that destroyed your homes when you finally got to chat alone.

The two of you start to frequent more underground events, both of you being well connected and hiding your true intentions very well. You use the events to gather information and then put your plans into action when your targets are alone. It worked amazingly well, you were both extremely skilled and efficient at what you did. It slowly chipped away at this network that shamelessly destroyed your beautiful homes.

Rafayel was a bit of a loose cannon. The man was so sweet and bashful one second and deadly serious the next. He was so gentle with you but didn’t hesitate when there was business that needed to be done. He could easily switch it on and off too. You were just glad you were on his side of this war.

Both you and Rafayel were out for revenge but something about your partnership changed you two. You both slowly helped each other heal, confiding your worries and traumas in each other. You were still both ruthless when it came to apprehending the people who did you wrong but the tortures stopped and the warmth returned outside of the violence. You two actually started to make good memories and live life instead of just trying to survive. You’d often watch the sunset over the ocean together, it was peaceful and you’d chat about anything and everything.

Eventually, after dozens of raids and missions, Rafayel finds weapons that used to belong to his family at the same time you find your wings again. You kept quiet until the mission was done, knowing you could feel your wings but not wanting to startle Rafayel. You looked at the weapons with him, you put your hand on his back to show your support for him. His eyes stayed glued on the knives and his face was a painful melancholic expression. You rubbed circles into his upper back with your thumb, hoping it could ease some of the pain caused by resurfacing memories.

After ensuring that the weapons would be sent to his personal studio, he continues to explore the mansion with you, following you while you find your wings. You communicated to him about your wings and he knew this would be tough for you too but you were both glad you had each other in this moment.

When you saw your wings in a display case at the end of one of the hallways, you bit back tears. It was a lot to take in. You passed millions of dollars worth of paintings to reach the most priceless thing in this whole building. Rafayel lags slightly behind you, wanting to give you a moment. You turn to face him, telling him that you don’t know if you want the wings back or not. Would they make you complete again? They can’t bring anyone back, can’t take away the pain. You couldn’t hide them like Rafayel could hide his true form, would it be a nuisance?

Rafayel makes his way towards you as you ramble, clearly distressed. He quickly envelopes you in a hug, letting you cry lightly into his chest, a painting of Lucifer on the wall next to you. You stay like that for a while. When he finally pulls back, he cups your face with his hands. You were his fallen angel, he wasn’t always great with his words but he truly spoke from the heart when comforting you like this.

“You never needed these wings to be complete, you’re ethereal with or without them. You’ll always be my angel, no matter what.”

|| MASTERLIST ♡ || Thank you for reading! ||

#love and deepspace x reader #lads x reader #l&ds x reader #xavier x reader #xavier fluff #xavier angst #zayne x reader #zayne fluff #zayne angst #rafayel x reader #rafayel fluff #rafayel angst #love and deepspace fluff #love and deepspace angst #lads fluff #l&ds fluff #j's silly ramblings #j's asks

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widowsistersandfriends · 4 months ago

Text

Cheer Up, Dear

Request: I'd love it to be x reader, maybe girlfriend or partner reader to be specific? I'd really be happy with any plot, but some ideas would maybe be Agatha cheering the reader up from a bad day, accidental t words or a t word game if that makes sense? Maybe all 3 combined? It's honestly up to you, thank you so much!! (ler!Agatha x lee!Reader)

Note: Thank you so much for this request!! This is my first time writing for Agatha, so I hope I portrayed her well. This was an adorable idea and I hope you enjoy!

Word Count: 1448

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You had just gotten back from a long day of work. Normally you loved your job and enjoyed working with your patients. However, today felt like the longest day in your life. Every patient was rude and hostile towards you. Despite doing your best to remain professional, it was still very draining.

You flopped onto your bed, taking some time to decompress. The comments you received that day played back in your head. You tried to think about something else, but your mind just kept wandering.

You heard a soft knock at the door, as Agatha, your girlfriend, asked if she could come in.

You went over and opened the door for her, silently leading her over to your bed.

You laid face down, as Agatha gently rubbed your back, knowing that you had been crying. You softly sniffled into your pillow.

“I’m here if you want to rant,” Agatha soothed quietly.

You wiped away some snot and turned your head to face your girlfriend.

“Everyone was so mean today, and it wasn’t even standard rudeness,” you explained.

“What do you mean?” Agatha inquired.

“I was told to go back to my home country, I was called a nurse when I’m a doctor, and all these old men kept calling me sweetie and asking me to be their wife,” you ranted, wiping tears from your eyes.

“Is that all I’m seen as? Some person to flirt with even though I’m at work and in a professional setting? Why don’t my male colleagues get this same treatment?” You said angrily.

Agatha continued to rub your back before responding.

“I’m sorry you had to go through that. You are a highly skilled and educated individual that deserves respect from those you are helping. But I will say, unfortunately this is something you’ll have to experience in the field you work in. There are some people out there who are racist and sexist and will think of you as less than your peers,” Agatha stated.

“But what am I supposed to do? I’m supposed to remain professional and still give them the highest standard of care. Even if they don’t deserve it…” you trailed off.

“While you should remain professional and do your job, I suggest you focus on the positive comments that you get. Think about all the comments that you get from people who you've helped. The ones who say ‘thank you, you saved my life’ or ‘I appreciate you taking care of me,” Agatha said.

“I know, it’s just that the rude comments are more rare, so they stick with me longer,” you sighed.

“It’s completely valid to feel upset since you were disrespected. It’s a hard field to work in, and on top of that with rude patients, but I promise you that you will make a strong impact in this world. Continue to work hard, and good things will come back to you,” Agatha said, as you nodded to show you understood what she said.

“Thank you, Agatha,” you said, wiping your nose with the tissues she had gotten you.

“You feeling any better?” Agatha asked softly.

“Hmm, maybe,” you said, while slyly wiping your snotty tissue on her arm.

Agatha yelped and quickly reached out to snatch the tissue from you, as you quickly dodged her hand. She grabbed for it, but missed. Instead she ended up grabbing your side, which now made you yelp.

“Oh, I’m so sorry,” Agatha apologized.

“What?” You asked, confused at her sudden apology.

“Did I hurt you?” Agatha asked.

“Oh what no, you’re fine,” you said quickly.

“Then why did you yelp?” Agatha asked with concern.

“I…ummmm, just didn’t expect it,” you said shakily.

“Is that the reason? Or is it because you’re ticklish?” Agatha asked with an evil grin, reaching out to squeeze your side again, getting the same reaction as before.

“Baby!! Stahahap!” You giggled, pushing her away.

“I think you need some cheering up, don’t you agree darling?” Agatha teased, quickly using her magic to pin your arms above your head.

You shook your head in fear, not wanting to give in to her tickling.

“Can I see that smile?” Agatha asked, as you shook your head again.

“Well alrighty I guess we have to do it the hard way,” Agatha said, smirking down at you.

You struggled against her powers, but knew you were no match for your impending doom.

“Come on, let me see that smile,” Agatha said while grinning, as she began to lightly tickle your sides.

You immediately held your breath, struggling to squirm away from her teasing nails.

“It’s okay to laugh baby,” Agatha cooed, spidering her fingers a little faster.

You let out a snort, pressing your lips together tighter.

“You wanna play the hard way? Fine, I will too,” Agatha said, as she quickly moved her hands up to tickle your ribs, causing you to squeal.

“Was that a little squeal I heard?” Agatha gasped, as you tried to clamp your mouth shut. Agatha knew she was close to getting you to break.

“How about if I do this?” Agatha questioned, as she leaned down to blow a raspberry on your belly.

“AHHH STAHAHAHAP,” you screamed, trying to kick her.

“AWWW there’s that smile and laugh I’ve been waiting for!” Agatha exclaimed, now reaching down to squeeze your hips.

“NOHOHOT THEHEHERE AHAHAHA PLEHEHEASE,” you begged, shutting your eyes in ticklish agony.

“Tickle tickle tickle my little ticklish lee,” Agatha cooed, grinning the entire time.

“IHIHIM NOHOT A LEHEHEHEE,” you cried out.

“Oh yeah? Wanna bet?” Agatha asked, reaching up to tickle your armpits.

“NO! DOHOHONT YOU DAHAHAHAHARE! STAHAHAHAP IHIHIT!” You screamed, desperately pulling at your arms.

“Oh my, I think I’ve found your worst spot, dear,” Agatha said, digging her thumbs in to make your laughter go silent.

“Oh no! Where did your laugh go? We better find it again,” Agatha said, pondering on where to tickle you next.

She scooted down and sat on your legs.

“Are your feet ticklish?” She asked.

“NO!” You blurted out, before dissolving into more laughter, as she attacked your feet.

“PLEHEHEASE AGATHA THIS IHISNT FAHAHAIR!” You cried, as your legs and feet wiggled frantically.

She slowed her tickling and got off of you, only to begin lightly dragging her nails over your shins, causing you to gasp.

“Ohohoho my gohohod thahahahat tihihihickles,” you squealed.

“You’re just so ticklish, aren’t you?” Agatha teased, now giving your knees some squeezes.

She slowly released her magical hold on you, allowing you to move your entire body, except for your arms, which were still pinned over your head.

“You know I just love seeing you smile and laugh, especially after a hard day. I enjoyed it so much, but now I want to also see how much you squirm,” Agatha said, with an evil glint in her eyes.

She sat beside you now and took one finger to tickle your belly button, making you gasp and jump at the touch.

“GAH AHAHAHA,” you laughed out, bucking up and down and sucking your stomach in, struggling to escape her evil finger.

She continued this for another minute until you were pink in the face.

“Alright, just one more thing and I’ll let you up. It’s my favorite tactic and I just love the suspense on my little lees face when I do this,” Agatha cooed, now sitting on your hips.

She took her evil nails and started to tickle your sides, slowly moving them up your torso. You burst into laughter, jerking from side to side. Your laughter went up an octave as her nails moved up to tickle your ribs, threatening to enter your armpits.

“NO! NOT AGAIN PLEASE! ANYWHERE BUT THERE!” You shouted, as her fingers continued to slowly climb your upper ribs.

“Any last words? Agatha asked.

You opened your mouth to speak, but it was too late. You were overcome with laughter as her nails entered your sensitive pits again. You screamed at her to stop, bucking against her.

“Oh that shriek of laughter is just wonderful,” Agatha said, tormenting you a little longer before finally letting you up.

“You’re the worst,” you said, giving her a playful shove.

“Are you cheered up now?” Your girlfriend asked.

“Yes,” you said with an eye roll.

“Hey, watch the attitude! Don’t make me have to tickle you again,” Agatha said with a warning tone.

“No! Don’t! I’m sorry!” You immediately apologized, moving away from her and curling up.

“You are so cute,” Agatha cooed, booping your nose to annoy you.

“Just wait till I get my revenge,” you threatened.

“Waiting,” Agatha teased.

With that, you began to chase her around the house, itching for revenge.

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dontyouworrydaddy · 1 year ago

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Pretty please, reader who throughout her whole life was made to feel unattractive and undesirable and that makes her very self conscious about her body. This leads her to the inability to feel good during sex because she keeps thinking her partner is judging the way she looks. Until she does it with the 141 guys and Konig and they finally make her feel wanted and beautiful, leading to the very first orgasm of her life. If this is too specific or not your thing, feel free to ignore my ask. I love your blog, so keep up the good work.

𝚑𝚘𝚙𝚎𝚕𝚎𝚜𝚜𝚕𝚢 𝚊𝚍𝚍𝚒𝚌𝚝𝚎𝚍

Task Force 141 (+König) x Reader

Thank you so much for the kind words and the ask, I really really appreciate it🫶🏽 I got so excited and happy when I read this🥲

I feel like they would look at you and be like “Are you serious? YOU’RE A LITERAL GODDES“ and be extra gentle 🥹 I really hope you like it, I love youuuuu🩷❤️🩷❤️ P.S: You guys are beautiful just the way you are <3💖💋

(also I‘m comfortable with writing stuff like these so please feel free to always ask me these kind of stuff! 🫶🏽🫶🏽)

KÖNIG

König and you have been making out for a few minutes now and god he was really good at making you feel so needy.

But as soon as he switches the positions, caging you under him you felt a bit unsure and insecure. He definitely notices your mood change and stops his movement.

“What happened, schatz?" he asked curiously looking at you with concern. “Is everything okay?”

You don’t know how to reply. You don’t know how to tell him that you’re scared that he might leave you after having sex with you. You sit up straight and he notices how tears start building up in your eyes.

A part inside of you knows that he would never leave you because he is showing his face to you. And nobody knows how he looks like. Not even the people he works with. Only you.

But than there is this other part inside of you that keeps telling you that he will leave you as soon as he gets what he wants. Or worse as soon as you reveal your body, he will get scared and push you away.

“Talk to me liebling“ his voice is soft and his much larger hands gently run down your soft cheek. You look up at him but you can’t respond to him. He doesn’t waste another second and immediately hugs you and presses soft kisses on your neck. This time it wasn’t in a sexual way but in a I‘m here, it’s okay way.

Sometimes you feel bad because he is always this patient with you and you wish you could be more confident about yourself. If only you never dated your ex…

“You wanna tell me what’s wrong?” he asks you gently and you just hug him tighter. “I‘m scared” you finally tell him. You can feel his face expression change and you thought that he will push you away now but he never did. Instead he continues holding you and kiss you. “What are you scared of?” his voice is genuine. He didn’t ask you just because he feels like he has to but because he really wants to know and learn more about you.

“That you’re gonna leave me as soon as I show you my body” you reply barley in a whisper. “Oh baby… how could I leave such a beautiful woman like you. Have you seen yourself? You’re a walking goddes“ he looks at you and lets his hands are on each side of your cheek. “You’re the most beautiful woman that ever walked into this world and I would never leave you. I love you so much mein Schatz” you let out a chuckle while tears are still falling down your eyes. "I love you too” you reply and smiles softly at you.

“We can do something else, if you want to“ he suggests and something inside of you is telling you to now let that happen. You’re confused about what is happening now.

“NO“ you all of a sudden yell causing him to look at you confused. “Baby, we don’t need to do it now. It‘s really okay” he tells you and he does mean it. He would never do anything you don’t feel comfortable with. He would sacrifice his own happiness for yours. As long as you are happy, he is too. You’re his light in the darkness and his whole world. Whenever he us holding you, he feels like he is holding the whole world.

“No. I want to do this. Please make me feel good” you desperately tell him. He hesitates for a second because he is still scared you don’t actually mean it and only want to do it because he wants to. But after seeing your face turning hot he smirks and realizes that you’re being honest.

And he will show you how much he loves you.

He started kissing you again and slowly removes your shorts. Your breath hitches in the middle of the kiss as you feel his hands working on removing your clothes. He looks down at your body and he smiles softly as soon as his eyes fall on your body.

“Don’t ever hide your body from me. You’re too beautiful to hide yourself.“ he kisses his way down and stops on your stomach. His fingers push your panties to the side and circle around your heated clit.

For the first time, you don’t feel ashamed about yourself. Actually, you feel really good about yourself. And all the negative thoughts are pushed into a corner and all you could think about is the moment right now.

“Oh my god“ you moan as two his fingers slowly push inside of you. “You’re so beautiful liebling“ he moans at the feeling of you wrapped around his fingers. He continues kissing your chest and stomach because he wants to hear your pretty moans. He pumps in and out of you and you start feeling dizzy. Not in a bad way. But in a very good way.

"Please just fuck me already” you’re shocked as soon as this sentence leaves your mouth. You can feel his smirk on your stomach and he starts looking up at you.

“As you wish, mein Schatz“ his smirk so devilish yet so cute. He removes his boxers and you see his hard cock spring free. He lets the tip of his cock dance around your tip, causing your back to ache with so much desperate. “Pleaseeee” your out of breath and he can definitely hear it.

“It’s gonna hurt for a second but you‘re gonna be okay” he warns you and starts sliding into you, slowly and gently.

“Oh fuck“ a tear leaves your left eye because of the pain but the pain doesn’t last long. It soon turns into pleasure and you give König the go to start moving. And he does as you say. He slowly starts fully slide into you and out of you, still gently.

You never felt this way with no one. It’s not your first time having sex but this feels different from the others. This isn’t just sex. This is him making love to you.

“Fuck“ he moans as he keeps moving in you. Soon the room was filled with the sound of your bodies clapping and your moans.

“You’re so beautiful, mein Schatz“ he continues saying how much he loves you and how beautiful you are. And you definitely feel it. You feel his words on your body and in your heart. And those aren’t just empty words, just to make you feel good. Bug he means every single one of them.

“I‘m so close“ you feel your orgasm building up and you didn’t know this was possible. Of course you knew that having an orgasm is natural but you never knew that you would also experience this kind of feeling.

"Let it out baby“ and you did as he said. You let it out finally feeling relaxed and good. König continued kissing you and telling you how much he loves you. Other than your ex, he did aftercare with you. He bathed you and cuddled the entire night with you.

You never felt so much loved.

SIMON RILEY

One thing you loved about Simon is that he never pushes you to do anything you don’t want to do. He respects your boundaries and never questions it. He waits for you to open up as soon as you feel comfortable.

And today is the day you want to have sex with him. You guys have been together for a long time but due to your insecurity you never let him get under your panties. But this time you want to have it. You want to push your insecurities to the side and feel good.

Of course a part of you is still scared that he might leave you as soon as he gets what he wanted but than there is this other part that reminds you that he showed his face to you. He lets you remove his mask from his face. So there is not much of a chance that he would ever leave you.

And honestly you’re desperate to finally feel his touch on your skin. So you make your way to your shared bedroom and sit on his lap. He loves you sitting on his lap and holding you close. But to be honest he is a bit confused because you never did something like this just because you felt like it.

“Hey baby" he kissed your cheek and pushed your hair behind your ear. “Hey Simon“ you started kissing him and tried to show him that you are in desperate for him. After a few minutes of kissing he slowly gets the message and switched the positions. “Are you sure you want this? We don’t need to do this“ he asks you and you shake your head.

“Please Simon. Make me forget about these thoughts“ you whisper and softly smiles at you. "You’re my kind of woman. I will love you forever" he kisses you and slowly removes your clothes and his owns. The kiss soon turns into a messy one and you feel yourself getting hotter and your pussy is getting wetter. His touch always made you feel something you didn’t know was capable of feeling.

His fingers kept teasing you‘re already needy pussy and then he finally slides them into you. You let out a shaky breath and he lets out a soft chuckle at the sight. “You feel so good around my fingers“ he confesses and you smile from ear to ear.

If you told younger you that you‘d ever feel yourself getting this close, you‘d probably laugh. But it’s true. You’re starting to feel the stuff you only read in books.

Simon pulls his hands away and gently starts sliding his cock into you. You feel a little pain at first but the pain doesn’t last long. Soon the pain turns into pleasure and you feel euphoric.

“Simon“ you moan his name and he gets weak at the sound of you moaning his name. He wants to be the only one hearing you moan. And he mostly definitely will be the only one hearing you moan. Sex feels more like love with him. You feel so many emotions while he keeps pushing in and out of you. And none of the emotions are negative.

“Simon oh my god. I can’t anymore” you feel the knot forming and he knows. Oh he definitely knows. “It’s okay baby. You can come“ his voice so sweet that you could faint anytime soon.

You let go of yourself and cum on his cock. Simon kisses you and tells you how much he loves you and how much he praises you body.

You’re happy that you finally got to feel these kind of feelings and that Simon isn’t leaving you. In fact, he is taking care of you right now. He cleans you up and cuddled with you while kissing your head.

You finally faced your insecurities and you’re happy you made that decision.

JOHN MACTAVISH

John and you have been together for 3 years now but you guys never had sex in those 3 years. Whenever you were about to get to this point, you would push him and every time you pushed him, you thought that he would be annoyed of you or yell at you. But he never did any of those. He in fact did the quite opposite. He always held you until you felt better and would always kiss your forehead. He would always tell you that he will wait for you until you feel comfortable enough to talk about your situation and why you feel like that.

And today was the day where you want to take it to another stage. You want to try to push your insecurity away and finally have sex with him. Not because you feel like you need to do it but because you want to do it. You want to feel good so you knock on his office door.

“Come in” his soft yet tired voice comes from the office and you enter the room. As soon as you enter the room he lets his pen fall and his whole attention is on you. That’s one thing you love the most about him. Whenever you were in the same room ad him, he would drop everything and would focus on you and only you. But sometimes you couldn’t help but think he was just doing it so you don’t see that he is slowly losing interest in you.

You make your way to his chair and sit on his lap. He immediately wraps his arms around you and hugs you tightly while kissing your cheek.

“When are you finished” you asked him. Something inside of you hoped that he answers with I don’t know or maybe in like a few hours.

But instead he replied with, “I‘m already finished. Do you wanna do something?” which makes you a bit nervous. You can feel your heart beating faster than usual you start playing with your nails.

“I uh….” you start your sentence but you’re not sure if you want to finish it. You really want to have sex with him but a voice inside of your head keeps telling you that as soon as you reveal your body he will leave you or even worse, laugh at you.

“Yes baby, continue your sentence.” he carefully tells you and tried to comfort you. Your heart warms at his comfort. You turn to look at him and your eyes lock in with his blue eyes.

“Please be honest with me” your hands start shaking because you’re getting even more nervous. His eyebrows furrow and he notices your hands slightly shaking. “I‘m always honest with you, love.” his left hand rests on top of your shaking ones and you could physically feel your heart skip a beat.

“Would you ever leave me if I showed you my body?” you barley whisper and you’re not really sure if he even heard you. You closed your eyes, scared of his rejection. Suddenly you hear him let out a laugh and for a second your heart dropped.

“Are you joking?” he starts his sentence and you open your eyes, clearly confused. “Baby, you’re the most gorgeous looking woman in this whole world. Do you know how hard it is for me to not fight the boys because they keep joking about stealing you from me? I would rather die than leave you” he doesn’t give a chance to reply and instantly smashes his lips onto yours.

He tries to prove his point with the kiss and oh god he is definitely succeeding. His hands start resting on your waist and you let your hands wander up his chest.

After pulling away for oxygen you finally let that sentence slip out of your mouth.

“I want to have sex with you” he smiles at you and picks you up like you weigh nothing. “Whatever my princess wants“ he kisses you while moving you guys out of the office and to your shared bedroom. This time the kiss is filled with so much passion and desperation. He doesn’t give your mind a chance to let your insecurity win. It feels like he is blocking your thoughts. And for the first time you feel good about yourself. There is not a single thought about how you don’t look good or how he is gonna ditch you.

He gently lays you down on the bed and without breaking the kiss, he starts removing your cloths while you remove his. You only break from the kiss to remove your shirts and let it fall on the ground.

He stops kissing you and looks at your body. As you try to cover your chest he grabs your arms and lets them fall next to you. “Don’t ever cover yourself around me. You’re so beautiful” his voice is gentle and he starts kissing your body. The air in your throat starts to build up and you can feel yourself getting hot and the heat between your thighs starts building up.

“John” you moan his name and you’re shocked since you never moaned someones name. “Yes baby?” he teases you and he starts going down on his knees. His mouth over your clit he looks up at you. You look down at him and nod. And that’s he needed from you. As you feel his mouth collapse with your pussy, you fall back down.

For a second, you forget how to breathe. You’re starting to feel some things you couldn’t describe. “John” you moan his name again as you feel a knot building up in your lower stomach. John gets up and hovers over you. “I just came by just eating you out” he confesses which causes you to laugh. “It’s gonna hurt a bit but you’re gonna be okay” he warns you and you nod. As he pushes his cock inside if you, you couldn’t help but open your mouth and close your eyes at the feeling. The pain turned into pleasure and as you opened your eyes again and nodded, reassuring that you’re fine. You never felt this way with no one. It feels like this is your first time. But definitely better. There was not a single negative thought.

He slowly pushes in and out of you and the only sound you could hear is his whimpers and your moans. “So beautiful” he moans and kisses you while still fucking you. After a few moments he started being a bit faster but not too fast since he doesn’t want to hurt you. And you feel euphoric. The pleasure is way too good and your whole body feels better than ever.

“John, oh my god” you feel your orgasm building up. “Let it out baby” and after him saying that you let go of that feeling and create a mess under you.

“That was the first time I ever had an orgasm” you confess absolutely shocked and he lets out a cute laugh. “I‘m glad I was the one causing it, my beautiful woman”

John was the best in aftercare. He pushed your insecurities away and made sure you felt loved. He took a bath with you and even clothed you. And now you are laying in his arms, feeling happy and confident about yourself.

JOHN PRICE

John and you have been in a relationship for a while now. Even through he is gone a lot, he would still leave little notes and remind you that he loves you. Your insecurities always makes it hard for you to believe him. You keep thinking about how he doesn’t mean it. But why would he stay with you if he didn’t love you.

John was a good man. He was the best. He treats you right and gives you everything your ex couldn’t.

And right now you’re under him and you’re scared he is gonna judge your body as soon as your clothes are off of you. But as soon as he removes them you get the reaction you didn’t expect. Instead of him looking absolutely disgusted, he looks… pleased. “There really isn’t a part that isn’t beautiful. And you’re all mine” the last sentence comes out as a whisper. He kisses your body and your thighs but you’re still laying there, a bit confused. You didn’t expect this reaction from him. You feel a bit ashamed of yourself because why would you think that he would be disgusted of you. He gets on his knees and starts eating you out like a starving man. And oh boy… his tongue feels so good. You never felt this type of pleasure and you always thought that this feeling is unreal until now. You’re left with an open mouth and closed eyes trying to focus on now but it feels so good. All you could think about is what else he could do with not only his tongue but also his fingers and his cock.

After eating you out, which felt like hours, he hovers over you and starts sliding into you. You bite your lips and start to dig your fingers in his chest, leaving red marks.

“John“ you moan his name and all you could think about is how good he makes you feel. The feeling of pleasure feels unreal and this moment in general feels unreal. It’s too good to be true. His movements are gentle and shows you how much he loves you.

“You’re so beautiful. I can‘t believe you’re mine“ he whispers into your ear. You feel the orgasm building up.

“John” you moan his name and the feeling of release is getting closer. “It’s okay my baby. You can come“ and you do as he says. After creating a mess under you, you realize that john has come on your stomach which caused you to let out a laugh.

“Come here baby. Let me take care of you now“ and you allow him to do so. You don’t regret anything and for the first time, you feel loved.

KYLE GARRICK

You don’t get how Kyle was still staying with you even through you don’t really let him touch you in an intimate way. After a year and a half you thought he would leave you because he probably was getting inpatient but he never did which left you confused. He always came back to you and would never do anything that would make you uncomfortable.

And today is the day where you want to open up. You’re still scared that he might leave you as soon as he sees you and leave you like all your exes did but as soon as he sees your body… he hungrily starts kissing you and he asks you if he can fuck you.

To be honest you were confused at first. You didn’t expect him to react like this. Praising you like you‘re the queen and when you asked him if he is gonna leave you… he replied with:

“Leave you? Are you joking? I would rather die than leave you”

The kiss was messy and definitely sloppy which was making you feel butterflies and your pussy was getting soaked. He took his time but eventually he would push his cock inside of you and by just the feeling inside of you he came. Neither of you expect this to happen and that’s why you guys shared a laugh but he kept going. He kept pushing in and out of you and sooner of later you were feeling yourself getting hotter. You started breathing heavily at the feeling and Kyle noticed it.

His hands on your waist and the room was filled with your noises and the noise of your bodies. He was gentle and so caring, like he always is. You feel like you got teleported into another dimension because this feeling is everything but real.

“Kyle” you whined and he shushed you. “Okay baby. It’s okay. You can come” and you did. You let yourself release and then it hits you.

For the first time, you had an orgasm.

“So beautiful. My beautiful woman” he kissed you and held you close to him. He kept kissing you and play with your hair while looking at you with love written in his eyes. You physically felt his love and you’re so happy because of it.

You finally got what you deserve.

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bengiyo · 6 months ago

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Wandee Goodday Ep 2 Stray Thoughts

Last week, we finally got a show with Drake and his beautiful eyebrows and ears, and he's playing an ace character, Kao, who is struggling with dating! Our protagonist, Wandee, is a doctor at local hospital and has been crushing on another doctor for eight years. He finally confessed and got crushed before embarrassing himself. He decided to go out and hook up to prove he wasn't vanilla, and drunkenly followed his recent patient Yoryak, a boxer, and somehow succeeded. Thor is also here as Yoryak's brother, and is in a committed gay relationship. I'm having a good time.

Not this man interrupting sex for constant reassurance.

Appreciating the blue to remind us that these guys have dicks.

"Once is enough." I love this man. He's gonna be so embarrassing.

Golf knows what the people need: Thor's tiddies jiggling.

Cher out here a whole liar pretending like he don't like that man's sweat.

Kao has incredible energy. I love him.

I swore when I saw Ter.

He really tried to talk over Dee! I hate him!

That was such a gay snap holy shit.

Ter is horrible. Where are my knives?

Interesting. Cher talks like Yoryak hooks up regularly. Does he care about all of his partners like this?

It's Rain's kidnapper! Danger, Will Robinson! Please don't typecast this man!

Wow, they were already planning to sell porn of them date raping this man.

If this dude comes back later and kidnaps Wandee I will scream.

Watching with @yankeebastard and he complimented the way the show is approaching Yoryak's bisexuality, by showing that he has genuine regard for Taem as a whole person, and reflected on the mild chiding she gave him during his care for Wandee. He sincerely listens to her, and takes what she says seriously even when she isn't around.

I think Oyei's pressure is really well calibrated. It's not too much.

Obligatory Golf cameo at the queer cafe.

Getting emotional about grandmothers again.

David and I are so relieved that we recognized AJ correctly on the first try.

I think it was petty who already wrote about the way Yoryak respects people's boundaries. I love the way he asked if Wandee wanted to do it, and then left on his own when he remembered what Wandee said about hookups.

I'm going to ascend. We got good ground rules for their relationship, and I really love that Yoryak asserted that Wandee needs to use his name. On top of that, we finally have a presumed bottom being clear that he wants his dick played with too.

The lighting department is doing wonders with the contours of their bodies.

I love that Yoryak made it clear that he wants to kiss and it's coming up in their hookups.

Wow, another banger episode. This is definitely the kind of grown content I have wanted out of the genre for a long time. Thank you, Golf Tanwarin. I'm going to be thinking about Yoryak and wondering at what makes him so sensitive to his prospective lovers all week. Let me also state plainly that it feels so important that we acknowledged openly that guys who enjoy taking dick also like to have their dicks played with, too.

#Ben watches #wandee goodday #thai bl #bl series

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alexanderlightweight · 2 months ago

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Sooooo… I’ve been not around and it’s thanks to health again. The medical poisoning that almost killed me a couple of years ago affected more than we thought and well Covid almost killed me in October too and I didn’t recover as good as I thought.

I’ve been struggling to work with shitty health care industry and insurance that doesn’t actually care about its patients and struggling with all that the symptoms and side effects that have been fucking me over with.

I’m also on more medication than my 80year old parents combined so that’s fun and been exhausting because I’m fairly delicate so the ‘may cause’ side effects tend to hit me

…a lot

@alxndrlightwoods has been really sick at the same time (all their disabilities and health issues also got worse after getting Covid) so any spoons I’ve had have been care taking for them, Nightshade and the rest of the House. I’ve barely been able to think let alone think about writing and it really fucking sucks. It also is incredibly hard to write when your partner is in so much pain and you can barely do anything to comfort them and barely anything to help.

I also have had a really bad year with accidents, cutting a finger tip off to the bone, and a fall that required an ambulance and had me unable to drive and experiencing side effects weeks later (I’m still struggling with some of them). My anxiety and agoraphobia are through the fucking roof after some truly horrendous social experiences and I’m at the point where even I can recognize the absurdity of some of my own paranoid delusions (that does not mean I can break them).

There’s been some other stuff but I feel like I’ve already hit TDLR. I’m kinda at a breaking point mentally tho which means I’m about to hit my limit of ‘not writing’. Because not taking the time or having the energy to write is pretty shit for my mental health and I miss it a lot. Also I just got off a med and we didn’t realize how much it was contributed to my brain fog and vertigo so, that’s some more awareness back!

Also Saeth is having an absolute fucking time of it going through withdrawals of a med that wasn’t helping enough (and weaning off this drug has been horrific for them and I hate that none of this or the awful side affects we didn’t know were attitudes to it were the last three years were mentioned when the dr suggested and prescribed it).

Uh actual TDLR:

Health and bodies are fucking bullshit. Saeth would like a refund on theirs and Lumine has the worst luck and is super clumsy.

Anxiety™️

Thank you to everyone who has sent any asks, reached out, asked how we are, said hi, left comments and just been here supporting me and the House. I really appreciate all of you and you remind me all the time of why I love writing so much.

🩵 Lumine

#lumine talks to people #lumine sheds light #lumine and saeth #lumine talks to ppl #heath pronlems

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mncxbe · 1 year ago

Note

Hey, first time request! Recently I watched an anime called My Happy Marriage and I was wondering if I could request Dazai, Chuuya, Kunikida, Fukuzawa, Ranpo, Akutagawa and Fyodor with the reader who has a personality and history similar to Miyo Saimori? How would the BSD characters help the reader?

Here is the information about the character and anime: https://my-happy-marriage.fandom.com/wiki/Miyo_Saimori#cite_note-novel-v1-1-1

P.S: I recommend you watch the anime before making my request so that you will understand the characters and the plot.

Thank you!

hii dear♡ unfortunately I had no time to watch the anime cuz my schedule has been packed these days. but I read Miyo's backstory in the manga and on wikifandom so I'm quite sure I got the main idea ^^

so reader is gonna have her backstory, personality and ability but she's just in a relationship with the bsd guys, not an arranged marriage. I really hope you like it♡♡

°☆○

12:20♡

𝑫𝒂𝒛𝒂𝒊, 𝑪𝒉𝒖𝒚𝒂, 𝑲𝒖𝒏𝒊𝒌𝒊𝒅𝒂, 𝑨𝒌𝒖, 𝑹𝒂𝒏𝒑𝒐, 𝑭𝒖𝒌𝒖𝒛𝒂𝒘𝒂, 𝑭𝒚𝒐𝒅𝒐𝒓 𝒙 𝒇𝒆𝒎!𝒓𝒆𝒂𝒅𝒆𝒓

𝑮𝒆𝒏𝒓𝒆: fluff♡

𝑫𝒂𝒛𝒂𝒊

Dazai is a very perceptive individual. he could tell from the second the two of you met that there was something different about you. still, he doesn't bring it up until you got closer

when you decided to tell him everything about your past; how you've never been loved by your family, how you've always tried to prove yourself to them but it was all for nothing. how you've always felt like you weren't good enough; he's surprisingly understanding

as someone who has never felt love he gets you. of course he doesn't dare compare his past to yours

Dazai is such a supportive partner. it's the little things for him like telling you you're appreciated and loved and surprising you with gifts (when he actually has money lmao)

he doesn't strike me as the type of partner who pushes all the "but how can you think so lowly of yourself? you're amazing" on you. he knows fully well that healing is a long process but he's ready to support you all the way

when you're having especially tough time, and not only with your family but also in general, he's always there for you.

best cuddle sessions when you're sad

tries his best to show you the love you never had and get you out of your shell (ofc he does, he's an extrovert)

as for your ability I don't feel like it would matter too much for him. of course, he finds it impressive but in the end, he love you for who you are, not for your ability.

you both end up healing each other; you show him kindness and he makes you see your worth. so overall it's a healthy relationship♡

𝑪𝒉𝒖𝒚𝒂

he gets so mad when you tell him about your past. he's angry because he really cannot understand how your family could ever treat you like this

he's honestly surprised that you're so kind and gentle, considering what you've been through

calls your sister a bitch for sure. but after you tell him to stop he doesn't do it anymore

showers you with love in all shapes and forms. you wanna have a nice chat over a glass of wine? sure. he saw you looking at a kimono while the two of you were out on a date? he gets it for you.

very supportive overall although he may not be able to express his feelings sometimes.

let's just pray he never meets your family💀

reassures you a lot and really tries to show you that you're appreciated. you always feel loved when you're with him

𝑲𝒖𝒏𝒊𝒌𝒊𝒅𝒂

this neon green flag of a man will listen to you talk about your past and keep a straight face. but deep inside he feels like crying

he's a man of strong morals so naturally he's mad at the injustice of your family

very reassuring and patient, he gives the best words of affirmation and always makes sure you feel appreciated

as for your ability he does think it's powerful. and if you work for the ADA he's sure to keep you as safe as possible

feels a deep need to shelter you from every bad thing in the world because honestly, you've been through enough

God forbid you ever have a fight. he'll cry himself to sleep

tries his best to always remind you that you're loved and that your past doesn't define you and that you don't need to prove yourself to him in any way

overall GREEN FLAG

𝑨𝒌𝒖𝒕𝒂𝒈𝒂𝒘𝒂

oh boy

when you tell him about your past and the things your family did he just sits there like: 😐

Akutagawa knows very well the pain of never feeling good enough and always needing to please others

you bond a lot over your traumatic childhoods althought it takes him a while to open up

he's not too god (he's downright terrible) at talking and reassuring you with words of affirmation. so he'll show you that you're cared for through little kind gestures like brewing you tea in the morning, bringing you snacks after his missions and spending time with you

at first he thinks your ability is weak cuz it's not useful in combat. but when he actually realises what you can do he holds such respect for you like hands down. somehow he also feels a but thretened by your power?? in a way?? but he gets over it

little by little you both fully open up to each other. your gentle personality really soothes his soul

so just like with Dazai, you help each other heal and have an overall healthy relationship♡

𝑹𝒂𝒏𝒑𝒐

speaking of perceptive...

he probably deduced your trooma✨️ after a simple chat. but then again you tell him everything at some point

he's really supportive and caring. sometimes he may come across as too pushy, like forcing you to get out of your shell and meet his friends and be more open about your feelings, but he means well

really sweet and gentle when you're in private. you can talk openly to him about anything he will listen

"Oh? You feel like you're not good enough for me? Nuh uh"

Ranpo may seem childish and playful most of the time but he's actually thoughtful

always shares your candy with you to show you how much he cares

I do see him asking Poe to write a novel describing the perfect date place. and then takes you on that perfect date yk. he's smooth like that

being with you makes him act more mature and serious. because he is serious about you. he truly wants to show you the love you never had and make you feel worthy of yourself

𝑭𝒖𝒌𝒖𝒛𝒂𝒘𝒂

another green flag

you can see his smile slowly fade away when you tell him everything about your past

when you're done he hugs you so tightly♡

making sure you're appreciated is one of his number one priorities now

ofc he doesn't mind that you're shy. always reassures you that you can take things slow and fully open up to each other and all. he's really sweet

if you weren't his partner and just a member of the ADA he'd be your father figure. but that's not the case

makes you feel cared for with acts of service and quality time. although he's busy at the Agency he always makes time to go on dates with you or simply spend time in the comfort of your home

🙏🙏 best words of affirmation

he feels the need to protect you. Fukuzawa is very much aware of the fact that your ability makes you a target. many people could take advantage of it. so he wants to keep you safe

he does his utmost to be reassuring and offer you support whenever you need it. and helps you heal and learn to love yourself.

𝑭𝒚𝒐𝒅𝒐𝒓

this man... when I tell you he only wanted you for your ability at first

but somehow he realises that there's more to you than just your power. little by little he grows fond of you; and curious

when you tell him about your past he's disappointed but not surprised. he knows how cruel people can be

still, after that he treats you more like a human being and when you do end up together he's surprisingly gentle

Fyodor is lowkey forced to change his attitude towards you. to be kind and good. to show you that you're loved because it really pains him to see you suffer

I see him brewing you tea, cuddling with you while you read a book together and playing the cello to cheer you up when you're sad or simply need to unwind

being with him may not be the easiest. he's cold and distant sometimes but he does his best to reassure you that you're worhty, loved and precious (and not only because of your ability)

STILL if you ever get into a fight he won't hesitate to use your past against you. but he will regret it the second he sees how your face drops. so he apologises

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liveontelevision · 7 months ago

Note

Hallo!!! I’d just like to say to start I ADORE your work! Especially with Lucifer, the way you depict him is SO refreshing you have no idea.. your work practically canon in my eyes I love it!!! You’re super awesome.

I did also notice that in your Lucifer works you talked about his more ‘unappealing’ traits, so-to-speak. Like his temper, his possessiveness, and especially his paranoia and panic.

I suffer with a paranoia disorder and some ptsd of my own, and it was really nice to have those traits made known, but not have them severely criticized, y’know?

I understand and agree that Lucifer would need a patient partner when it comes to these things, someone to stick around and be reassuring through it all; And while they can get frustrated, not criticize or even leave him for it; something I theorize may have been a reason for Lilith’s own departure.

But what if the reason for the reader’s patience is because of their own panic issues? Or their own temper?

Now to be fair, not sure how i’d exactly want it to go. It could be them comforting him when he panics, or Lucifer when they panic, or just a simple heart-to-heart about their combined struggle and the resilience that is forged because of that…

Like while their breath quickens, hands clutching into their thighs as their brain practically screams at them to calm down through all the mind-numbing internal noise; boiling tears stream down their face as they shiver within the darkness of an empty corridor. Perhaps Lucifer steps around, bearing witness to their storming off, getting a glimpse of the uglier side of their lover. The strange, uncomfortable, terrified side of them. But that isn’t what he sees, not at all. His gaze softens as he stares into their tear-blinded irises and carefully sits in front of them. He sees a person. A real, true human being.

(hahaaa got a bit too silly sorry xP)

All I know is that I think Lucifer, while also being equally concerned, would appreciate having someone who could understand what he’s going through; Well, as close as a sinner could get to understanding it, at least.

But what do you think? Would he act any different? I’d love to know ^^ ❤️

Thank you so much for getting into these details! After reading this I realized how much I connected my own mental struggles to what I write. So just seeing that you're about to relate to it as well made me feel really good :)

This was honestly a little hard for me, trying to get into this mindset. Even though it's not super motivated by Lucifer's character, I kinda needed to write this for myself honestly :') but still, I hope you enjoy this!

---

Comfort

CW: Descriptions of depression and panic attacks, flulff, angst

You were head of heels for Lucifer. And you’d do anything for him, that goes without saying, even if you do enjoy seeing his reaction to your devotion. You knew Lucifer as the king of Hell before anything else, so your first impression of him was obviously different from the Lucifer you know and love today. He was always portrayed in media as some suave, flirtatious, powerful being. No one dared talk negatively about him, his true authority being misinterpreted as pure malicious intent. But that didn’t stop the media from tearing Charlie apart. Why didn’t he defend his daughter then? In summary, Lucifer was known for two things; incredible power and little consideration for the actual ongoings of Hell, even with whatever his daughter was involved with. At first. His saving the hotel, defending Hell on extermination day, and encouraging his daughter, was the side of him that only a handful of trusted people could experience firsthand.

Luckily, you got to be one of those people. It’s easy to take his goofy exposure and temper and make it appear that he is an aloof king. But no one can handle being a hermit for centuries without having a different view on life. And being an outcast from his original realm? Being abandoned by his brothers? Even the most powerful demon couldn't experience that without it taking a mental toll. That was obvious. Comforting Lucifer would never be an easy task, even for someone who’s experienced exactly what he has. And who knows exactly how close Lillith was to him? Was she able to see him in this state? Was it another factor of himself that he chose to bury in fear of rejection and abandonment? It was a pitiful thought, but definitely not an impossible one.

Whether or not you truly understood Lucifer's past, you wanted to be there for him. It felt good to comfort such a powerful being, being an anchor for someone who has an absurd amount of baggage. But it’s not like you always knew what you were doing. You weren’t this perfectly healthy person who knew what to say all the time. When you first got together, you had your doubts about even having feelings for him. He was an icon, a celebrity, royalty. It was great he confided in you, but was his status clouding your judgment? Were you only enjoying the dominance you had over his emotional state because of who he was? Was your admiration misconstrued as love? It took a while for you to get over this mindset. The longer you were together, the less it became you constantly praising and fawning over him, the more it became being in love with your best friend.

You didn’t really bother to bring any of this up to him, the idea made you cringe. Would bringing up your doubts about the relationship only transfer those feelings to him as well? The moment passed, so there’s no need to get him worked up over nothing.

That’s a great example of how your mind works. You assumed that all these spiraling questions, that brought you to the brink of tears, just went away. That, because you realized how much you loved him and how much he loved you, that meant that you never needed to express these thoughts. Nothing could be done about it, those feelings were in the past. Why bring it up now?

There was also the question of how much you gave into the relationship. You gave Lucifer your all, gave him your heart and body, and yet you don’t feel comfortable enough to share your own suffering? You could've blamed Lucifer if you wanted. He should be supporting you the same way you support him. Or you could blame yourself. Obviously, if you wanted support you should feel comfortable asking for it. But why do you have to ask? Lucifer never asked for it. Why don’t you feel comfortable sharing your feelings? Your own trauma? What’s wrong with you?

That ended up being your downfall. Nothing ever just goes away. How could you constantly comfort Lucifer and push him to let out what he needs to, yet refuse to express anything that truly upset you? Demons are essentially immortal, these feelings couldn't be bottled up forever. But they can be bottled up until you break.

Lucifer had an especially rough day, he was looking forward to finding his sweetheart and venting about how shitty his meetings went and how Alastor pissed him off, along with some other daily struggles. That’s all it was; a daily vent session that helped him decompress. What he wasn’t realizing was how much that affected you. It wasn’t really his fault, or he wasn't doing it on purpose at least. You weren’t really the type to share your own struggles, you mentioned that to him once or twice. You felt that crying and letting it all out, venting about struggles that simply don’t need to be discussed, none of that really helped you when you were struggling. But today, you were struggling.

“Ugh! That tacky son of a bitch made fun of my suit today, can you believe it? Like - I mean - C’mon! We basically wear the same things but in different colors, I don’t know what he’s on about. Oh, and I had to go to the Embassy today. Luckily I didn’t need to meet with anyone but I - “ As Lucifer started his long-winded complaints, he stripped himself of his boots, hat, and jacket, then approached you. You were lying in bed, which wouldn't exactly be strange if it were early in the morning or late at night, but it was nearly dinner time. You were wearing your usual pajamas and had been scrolling through your phone for who knows how long. Did you have anything to do today? You didn’t have time to think about that.

Lucifer placed a quick kiss on your forehead, then between words, one on each cheek, then a final, slightly lingering, kiss on your lips. He finally plopped down and laid perpendicular to your lounging body, laying his head in your lap and looking into the ceiling as he went on. You set your phone aside, that had been plugged in and turned on since late last night, leaving it hot to the touch in your hand. You had become numb to it at this point.

None of this seemed to really come off as an issue to you. Who doesn't have a day or two where they can't get out of bed? You were sure you’d be ready to get back to work the next day, so it’s not a problem. Plus, Lucifer was here! You could get some quality time in with him and convince yourself that you weren't wasting a whole day. He went on and on. Talking about the Embassy got him on the topic of Heaven, which led to him sharing a story of how his brothers weren’t supportive of a specific invention he was sharing. “It was really something, you know. If I could've just been accepted by them, if they supported me.. like you do! maybe things could've been different. Maybe - “ Plop. Lucifer flinched at the sudden drop of water that hit his cheek. He wiped it away before finally discovering its source.

You were crying. It was silent, and you were holding your breath to prevent it from turning you into a heaving, sobbing, mess. Lucifer was quick to sit up, seating himself on his knees as he tried to question your disposition. He was finally noticing your overall situation. You are in the same spot that he left you in this morning, wearing the same pajamas, scrolling through the same phone that never left the nightstand. He started to feel ashamed that he didn’t notice any of this sooner. You had shifted your gaze downwards, picking at your clawed fingers like you would your skin when you were alive. This is embarrassing. You don’t want him to see you this way, you look like a mess. You tried your best to keep tears from coming from your eyes, but the fact that Lucifer was sitting near you in absolute silence somehow made it worse. You hitched your breath, trying to control your emotions in any way, then let out a shaky exhale that made your body shrink.

The moment seemed to go on forever. It felt like his eyes were burning into you. You had to do something. Anything. “I’m okay! I’m okay, Luci. Sorry, J-Just a rough day. But it's over now! We can just relax now. Promise.” You quickly said, your voice raspy due to it being the first words you had spoken today. You shifted yourself over, pulling the blanket aside and patting the spot next to you. Lucifer didn’t know how to respond. He’s seen you like this before, everyone has rough days. And why would you lie to him? You could go to him for anything. You knew that, right? He reluctantly moved into the bed, holding his arm out to allow you to snuggle into his side, finally resting your head on the center of his chest. Your eyes looked vacantly towards the other side of the room, as your finger mindlessly traced the seems on the side of his shirt. A monotonous task that kept your mind on anything other than how you were feeling. Today was just one of those days where every little problem you’d encounter was tipping you over the edge, sending you into a spiraling mess.

He knew something was wrong. He didn’t push you away, you clearly needed the contact, but the warm spot that you created from staying in bed all day was apparent when he went in to hold you. Sure, he’s seen you like this before. But this was different. “Darling..? Erm.. Sorry, I didn’t get a chance to - I should’ve.. How was your day, love? Wanna.. talk about it?” He always struggled with words. It’d take him a while, but he’d always manage to get what he intended when he spoke. “Oh, um.. It was good.. My day was good. Didn’t do much, but that’s okay. Just a relaxation day I suppose.” Ah, relaxation. You’ve used that word before. He always wondered; How come relaxation never meant going to a spa or doing something legitimately soothing? Was laying in bed all day really what you considered relaxing?

“ I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to make you worry. Go on, you were talking about your brothers? What were you - “ Your diversion was immediately noticed. Before you could even finish your question, Lucifer had taken your chin and angled your head upward to look at him. It was a struggle for you to meet his eyes. You gulped, and no matter how much you wanted to pull away from his grasp, you didn’t. Tears were welling in your eyes the whole time, and even though your breath had calmed, you still seemed winded. “Please tell me what’s wrong. Please. Let me help.” It seemed like everything just fell into place. Lucifer finally picked up on things you never realized came from your insecurities and paranoia. And he wanted to fix it, not stop it, actually fix it. You hated how the idea of it surprised you. It shouldn't, of course, he’d do this for you.

“ I-I promise it’s nothing.. I’ve just been feeling off today, I just want to be close to you. That always helps.” You smiled up at him. No matter how forced, he returned your smile. “Well.. Do you think.. Talking would help?” You tensed up as he spoke, an obvious sensation to Lucifer since you laid suddenly uncomfortably on his chest. “Hun, you know that stuff really isn’t for me… I don’t benefit from that, I think. So don’t worry. Just - be here. For me? Can you do that?” You began to sound agitated. It wasn’t an aggressive plea, more like a plea for this conversation to be over. He wasn’t a huge fan of how you spoke, it came off as a sort of insult to him. Did you not think he could help you in the same way you did for him? He could try. He wanted to try.

He planted a small kiss on your forehead, then traced his hand up and down your back, feeling your tension melt as he did so. He pressed his cheek against the top of your head and picked up your hand in his. He traced your palm, running along the wrinkles and folds of your skin, then lightly grazed his claw up the length of each of your fingers. He sent a starfish motion across the entirety of your hand before finally interlacing your fingers. You stared at his movements the whole time, watching only for a moment before your eyes glazed over, leaving you in a sort of mindless state. He squeezed your hand after giving it attention, which brought you back to reality. Your eyes had continued to drip, leaving a few small specks of wetness on the part of his shirt that sat below your face. With the newfound grip he had on your hand, he pulled your still clasped hands up to his face, rubbing his cheek on the back of your hand before pressing gentle kisses across your knuckles. His eyes looked at you, half-lidded, with your hands still held to his lips.

Well, you weren't lying when you said being around him helped. Just the sight of him caring for you in this way, calmed your mood. You managed to accept that your actions today wernt like you. That something had taken over in your mind to keep you weighed down in your shared bed. “Thank you.” It barely came out as a whisper when you said it, bringing your clasped hands to your own lips and pressing a kiss on his own knuckles in response. “Of course, love. Anything for you. I mean it.” These actions weren't exactly new to the two of you, these were methods you occasionally used to help Lucifer fall asleep, or calm him down after a rough day. But he was using it on you. He had learned how to take care of you, by watching what you do. Noticing how you act on a daily basis and how that contrasts from the version of you he’s seeing right now. It was a subconscious transaction that you two had. But when you did notice it happening, you could hardly contain the mixed emotions you felt. Embarrassment, Pride, Love..

“ I mean it.” He repeated, snapping you from whatever state of mind you caught yourself in, “You know that, don’t you? You know I can help you, right? ” Now, this was new. He’s never questioned you like this. For some reason, it became difficult to respond. To admit that you knew he had your best interest in mind. “Tell me.” He wasn’t demanding, he seemed genuinely concerned as he spoke. Your cheeks flushed, feeling some sort of embarrassment. “Y-Yeah, I know.” You were quiet, still.

Lucifer didn’t seem completely convinced. “I’m sure you do. But can’t you just.. I want to know what goes on in your head.. If that makes sense. I don’t know, maybe I’m overthinking this - No, I want you to try and talk to me. Just try?” You almost scoffed, trying to play it off as some kind of joke. “It’s not important, I’m feeling better now, that’s what’s important.”

That’s when he became agitated. He gently sat up, lifting you up with him. “No! It still matters. Tell me how you feel. Or - how you felt, I don’t know..! Talk to me. Please.” He had a tight grasp on your arms, almost shaking you as he spoke. You tried to calm down, you really did, but you felt forced into talking. Not in a negative manner, just in the way that your instinct to isolate yourself in this state was being challenged. You were physically reacting, tensing under his touch and lowering your eyes to the point he couldn't see them. You rubbed your hands against your thighs, trying to figure out what to say. It seemed like it took too long for you to respond. When you did it came out in the form of broken sobs, your hands moved from your thighs to your cheeks, running your forearm across your face to wipe tears. You broke.

You finally open up about your day. About how today, you felt like you didn't have any reason to get out of bed, how it felt okay to just rot there. You tried your best to describe what makes you this way, but you really weren't all that sure yourself. And despite how much Lucifer struggles with his own words, you were almost silent when it came to describing how you felt. He would nod his head and keep a calm composure, just like you do for him. It took everything in him to just hold you as tight as he could, to repeat I'm so sorry and it'll be okay and I love you so much. But that's not what you'd do at this moment, and he realized how much he'd hate that for himself. It’d feel disingenuous. You loved physical affections, even the slightest intimate moments were improved by a simple hand-holding, or just sitting close to Lucifer. And right now, you felt ashamed for wanting to push him away. But you didn't.

He cooed you, and pulled you in close, his arms engulfing your curled up body. He continued to rub your back, just like you’d do for him, and would ask if you needed anything multiple times, even if you politely rejected each time. Just to be safe. You let out a gross mixture of sobs and apologies, and possibly some things that you’d regret saying later, but the dam was broken at this point. After you had calmed down, he loosened his grasp to let you sit up, your body stiff from holding it in that position for so long. He was quick to create some tissues out of thin air and hand them to you, catching sight of your reddened eyes and nose, but he also made it a point to not stare at you. He’d turn his gaze to the floor, or to your hands, or he’d rest his head on top of yours. “So..? How are you doing?” He almost sounded nervous when he asked as if he might have messed up at some point. “I feel disgusting.” You said bluntly, your voice nasally due to your nose being so stuffed up. He chuckled and pressed a kiss to the top of your head. “I told you this stuff doesn't work for me, I feel awful still.” A bittersweet smile hit his face, but you were still making it a point to keep your eyes away. “I know, love. But, I’m glad you did it. I’m.. well, I’m glad you’re talking to me - I know it was hard.. So.. thank you, I suppose. You did good.” His words were choppy as if he was still figuring out what he wanted to say. He said what he needed to though.

You let out an absolutely exhausted sigh and leaned back into his chest, bringing both of you back down onto the bed. After a bit more backrubbing and hums of affection, you finally lift your head to look up at him. He was absolutely glowing. The smile on his face brought you butterflies that you didn't realize could resurface after being with someone for so long. “You did so well~” He said in a low tone, keeping his eyes locked on yours, and keeping your head turned upwards by gently holding your chin. “W-Well, don’t say it like that.. Perv..” You let your suddenly dirtied mind blurt out a nervous response. “Hey, that one’s on you. I would never proposition a damsel in distress.” He tapped your nose, speaking in a theatrical voice, before meeting your lips in a much-needed kiss. “Love you.” You muttered into his lips, only to feel his smile form in response. His eyes weld with affection for you when he pulled away. “I love you.”

Even if you felt awful after your little outburst, the reality of laying in bed all day finally hit you with a burst of adrenaline. You weren’t able to sleep after that and Lucifer had no complaints about that. The rest of the night was spent doing silly little things, Lucifer demanded you do your nightly routine, insisting it would help your mood. He provided snacks, started a movie that you mentioned you wanted to see a while ago, and sat behind you as he either brushed your hair or spent the time to give you a thorough massage.

You were so proud of him. You always struggled alone when this kind of thing happened. And, although a little awkward, he was exactly what you needed him to be at that moment.

---

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natti-ice · 8 months ago

Text

The Blind Date- Sirius Black.

Pairing: Sirius Black x fem!reader

Summary: Hogwarts annual valentines party has a twist. A test that pairs you with the best match

Warnings: written in third person (she/her pronouns) (1.6k words)

Author’s note: this is a reupload, I wrote this a while ago!

Reblogs and comments are greatly appreciated<3

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Valentine's day.

The one day of the year card and candy companies thrive. Couples around every corner, corny love songs on the radio. The perfect day to make all single people feel bad.

This year at Hogwarts they have decided to do a cupid event. Sixth and seventh years who are interested, take a test to see which student they are most compatible with. Each pair can attend the valentine's party together the following week. Most students were excited to be paired with someone, and then there was Y/N,

"Come on Y/N it'll be fun." Lily Evans said dragging her friend into the great hall

"No no, it won't" Y/N protested

"And why is that?" the redhead questioned

"Going on a blind date isn't really my style"

"Lighten up Y/N, who knows maybe you'll meet the one" James Potter chimed in as he sat down wrapping his arm around his Girlfriend Lily

"Right, maybe you won't be so lonely. Honestly, it's getting depressing." Sirius Black said strolling alongside his best friend James.

"Shut up Black, Why are you two here anyway?" Y/N asked the boys

"I came to see my Lily flower" James gushed causing Sirius and Y/N to make faces. Earlier this year James and Lily became an official couple, Ever since they've been inseparable.

"Ew. I'm here because I don't have a date this year, couldn't pick one" Sirius said shrugging

"How humble of you" Y/N said sarcasm in her voice

"Attention please students," Dumbledore announced to the great hall. Heads turned to face him faces full of wonder. "As most of you are aware, we will be hosting a Valentine's party this 14th. For all the sixth and seventh years who are interested in being paired with a date, please see Professor Flitwick for a compatibility test"

"I think it's a great opportunity to put yourself out there Y/N" Lily said wanting to get her friend out of her comfort zone.

"Fine okay I'll do it" Y/N agreed in hopes to get Lily off her back about it. She hesitantly stood up, walking over to the growing line.

She hoped that she didn't get some creep who only tries to get in her pants. Please not Gilderoy Lockhart she thought. Patiently waiting to get the test, glancing around to see all who were in line. Turning around she comes face to face with Sirius Black.

"So who do you want to get?" Sirius asks her

"anyone, I don't care" she lied

"What if you get me?" he smirked

"okay anyone BUT you" she grinned at him

"Ouch, I'll have you know I am the best date anyone could have." he said pretending to be offended

"Oh yeah I bet" she said rolling her eyes. It was her turning in line, thanking the professor as he handed her the paper. Taking it back to her table to fill out the form, pulling out a quill. Filling in the basic information, name, grade, house.

Okay, first question "what's your favorite color?" she read in her head. Easy, Y/F/C. This won't take long, she thought.

She was right, it took her about 5 minutes to fill it out. Walking back up to the table to turn in her paper.

- February 13th

The day before Valentine's Day, the results of the test come out.

Nervously a group of kids walks up to the bulletin board to see who they've been paired with. Most were happy about their partner, others were nervous, some were just confused.

Y/N saw the crowd and knew the list must've been posted. She worked her way through the swarm of people to find her name, scanning it carefully.

Y/N L/N ..... Sirius Black

You have got to be kidding me, she mentally groaned. Of all people, it had to be him. Maybe she could get it changed before he found out. Moving through the sea of people once again.

"Well, it looks like we matched after all" Sirius said leaning up against the wall with his signature smirk.

"You seem awfully happy about this" Y/N said with a questioning eye.

"I just think it's kind of funny" he replied with his hands up in defense. "You seemed so confident we wouldn't be paired" Sirius said wrapping his arm around her shoulder.

"Did you copy my answers or something?" She lightly knocked off his arm.

"Of course not, I never cheat on test" he said defensively

"Really?" She furrowed her eyebrows

"Okay okay maybe once or twice but not on this, I swear" He crossed his heart "don't act like this is the worst thing that ever happened to you"

"It kind of is" she said playfully

"Oh please, do you know how many girls would kill to be you" he matched her tone

"They can have you"

"But in all seriousness, do you want to go to the party with me?" Sirius asked slightly hoping she'd yes

"Well" she sighed "I did promise Lily I would go with a date so, I'll go with you." She agreed

"Fantastic! I promise I'll make it worth your while" he grinned from ear to ear sending her a wink.

"I'll see you tomorrow then" Y/N says walking off

"It's a date!" Sirius yells into the hallway knowing he'd embarrass her

- "Are you excited about tonight Y/N?" Lily asked Y/N walking out of their last class of the day

"Terribly" she replied with a straight face.

"I'm sure you'll have a great time, but you know what this means right?" The redhead said with a mischievous smile

"What?"

"Make over time!" She was ecstatic

"Yay" she faked excitement. But honestly, a makeover didn't seem THAT bad

- As the night approached, the tension in the air rose. Everyone was nervous about this big group date the school has decided to have. What if it's totally lame and they're stuck with awkward conversation for hours?

"Okay, I'm ready to see myself now" Y/N said impatiently, antsy from sitting in a chair for so long

"Alright alright, open your eyes" Lily told her friend

Opening her eyes allowing them to adjust, glancing at herself in the mirror. Lily had only done light makeup that enhanced her already beautiful face. "Wow. I look quite pretty." Y/N said admiring Lily's work

"You always look pretty Y/N" Lily spoke genuinely "Now, go get dressed the boys will be here any minute"

Doing as told, putting on an outfit she thought was "fancy" enough for the occasion. It was a school function so, not fancy at all.

A rapping on the door in an unrhythmic beat told the girls one thing. James is here.

Lily opens up the door and is greeted by 2 slightly spiffed young men. "Greetings miss Evans, are you prepared for our gala this evening?" James said in a posh accent. Taking her hand and kissing the back of it gently, causing Lily to blush

"Gross" Sirius commented "Is Y/N here?"

"Yeah she's just getting dressed"

"Hi boys" Y/N said walking out of the bathroom. Lily and James head out first leaving Sirius and Y/N alone.

"I must say, you look very beautiful tonight." Sirius told the girl

"Thank you, Mr. Black" she said mocking his friend

" Are you ready madam?" He offered her his arm

"Certainly" accepting his gesture

- As one could expect, school parties are lame. Sappy songs couples awkwardly slow dance to. That one teacher who thinks they're one of the kids. And of course the infamous punch bowl.

"I knew it would be bad but not this bad" Sirius cringed

"Most of the paired couples didn't even show up." Y/N stated

"Do you want to get out of here?" Sirius suggested

"Gladly"

Walking out of the hall, they figured out why some of the couples didn't show up. They were in the halls, snogging.

"Looks like Hogwarts is a great matchmaker after all" Y/N stated not sure to believe it or not.

"Yeah I guess you could say that" The boy replied

Wondering the halls, discussing the uncomfortable things that were seen at that said "party". Eventually, the two make their way into the Gryffindor common room. A few younger students were scattered around probably catching up on homework, sitting on the couch not knowing what to do. Sirius came up with an idea.

"How about a game of wizards chess?" He asked

"Sure, let's play" she agreed

"Good, if I win... I get to kiss you" Sirius said calmly

"You're crazy" Y/N said dismissing the entire idea

"C'mon, afraid you'll lose?" He challenged

"Alright Black you're on. If I win you have to run around the halls in a ballerina outfit, deal?"

"Deal."

- A tough neck and neck game of chess with great concentration and skill led to one's defeat. As Y/N's pawn captures Sirius' king, victory overcame her.

"Checkmate Black, time to get your tutu"

Accepting his defeat and holding his deal of the bargain, he ran around the school acting like a ballerina. He actually kind of liked it, but you didn't hear that from me.

Y/N's stomach hurt from laughing so much. She was glad he didn't get upset with the deal, he was so lighthearted and good-natured. It was hard not to like him.

After Sirius retired his ballet flats, it was already late. This "date" had come to an end, Y/N felt a little sad but didn't know why.

"I should probably go to bed, but I had fun tonight, really" Y/N smiled

"I'm glad you did, I thoroughly enjoyed your company" he brought back the fake posh accent. "Goodnight m'lady" he bowed

"Goodnight good sir" she curtsied.

"I still can't believe you beat me at chess, who knew you were so good" Sirius laughed

"We all have our secrets" she shrugged. Standing on her tippy toes giving him a small peck on the cheek. "Goodnight Sirius"

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Tags: @thebiggestnaturaldisaster @madwcman @timbradfordisbae @de-duchess

Join a tag list!

#sirius black x reader #sirius black x fem!reader #sirius black x you #sirius black x y/n #sirius black fluff #marauders x reader #marauders fluff

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wen-kexing-apologist · 11 months ago

Note

Top 5 Emotional Outbursts

See if no one else on this website has my back, I know Ben has my back because he is giving me a chance to talk about my boy Patts once more

TOP 5 EMOTIONAL OUTBURSTS OF 2023

Patts, La Pluie

gif by the beautiful, marvelous @liyazaki

Episode 10 was just an absolute masterclass in emotional outbursts. The fight between Lomfon and Patts, then Patts and Tai, then Lomfon and Tien, then Patts and Tai again. Like goddamn, finally thank fuck, Patts is able to let out years worth of frustration and pain at Tai's silence was just so beautiful, and cathartic, and necessary. What an absolutely incredible moment to not only witness but experience. Patts has been so kind, so patient, so forgiving, and it was time for all the pain that he's been letting simmer for two years out. Good! For! Him!

Uea and His Bio Family, Bed Friend

There are few characters in this world I hate more than Uea's mother, and it was so so so so so so wonderful to see Uea finally give her a piece of his mind. I am so proud of him for speaking his mind, standing his ground, and getting the ever living fuck out of his bio family's house. Too personal, sorry, but this fight hit especially well for me because I too have had a parent say they'd live perfectly happily without me, and it was great vindication of my reaction to that to see Uea GTFO immediately after.

Secondarily, James' sobbing screams at the beginning of episode 4 and in the flashback of him getting dragged in to the bathroom when he was an adult have never left my brain. James absolutely crushed those scenes and this was going to be my Bed Friend pick before I remembered this fight exists.

Jim and Li Ming // Heart and His Parents, Moonlight Chicken

I don't think I am exaggerating when I say that Jim and Li Ming's relationship dynamics is one of my favorite of all time. Aof is such an incredible screenwriter/director and I feel like he's able to make such realistic depictions of families in all their complicated glory. The screaming match between Jim and Li Ming is SO good, and really is what solidified my appreciation for Fourth's acting skills because there was a fucking storm cloud on his brow. Happy fucking birthday to you Uncle Jim I guess. Poor fucker.

And then of course, one of the first ever posts I made in the BL Sphere of tumblr was a full essay on Heart's confrontation which I loved so motherfucking much. Once again a much needed fight with lots of interesting, complicated emotions flying around the room.

Kiyoi and Hira, Utsukushii Kare Season 2

gif by @itsallaboutbl

"I'm sorry that I like you" one of the best moments of the year for me by far. This fight between Kiyoi and Hira was desperately, and I mean desperately needed. I know changing will be a slow process for the two of them, and even in Eternal they are no where near where they need to be, but Hira needs/needed to cut this Pebble to a God bullshit out and I am so glad that Kiyoi was able to call him on it. Also from a performance standpoint, Yagi Yusei had his work cut out for him as a scene partner to Hagiwara who absolutely bodied his role as Hira. In season one Yagi did not need to do all that much for his performance because we didn't know as much about Kiyoi until closer to the end, but that cannot be the case for Season 2 and Yagi knocked it out of the motherfucking park.

Sunshine and Q, 7 Days Before Valentine

Okay, almost positive this isn't a BL but I love when people structure TV shows like stage plays, and there was a fight between Sunshine and Q in like Episode 4 or 5 where they were shouting over each other and it just felt so real and the dead silence that hit the room when Q said something that struck a chord with Sunshine was expertly handled, and some of the best work I've seen out of Atom the whole show. I don't think anyone gifed it so I can't put the scene in, but I think you talked about it in your Stray Thoughts @bengiyo

And just cause I wanna, the Top 5 Emotional Outbursts of the pre-2023 shows I watched this year:

In and Wang's fight in 180 Degree Longitude Passes Through Us, Ep 8

Gav sobbing about his aunt in Gameboys (the movie, i think?)

Pran sobbing in to Pat's shoulder in Bad Buddy, Ep 10

Tarn's fight with Teh in I Told Sunset About You, Ep 4 (shout out to Smile there because I still cannot believe it was the first thing she filmed on set)

Shiro being terrified Kenji was dying and Kenji being worried Shiro was dying and the resulting clownery from them blurting that out in What Did You Eat Yesterday? I think it was the New Year's special.

ASK ME MY TOP 5 OF ANYTHING BL 2023

#best of bl 2023 #ask game #la pluie the series #bed friend #moonlight chicken #utsukushii kare #7 days before valentine #180 degree longitude passes through us #gameboys #gameboys the series #bad buddy #bbs #i told sunset about you #itsay #what did you eat yesterday?#kinou nani tabeta?

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zebulontheplanet · 7 months ago

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Do you have any advice for how to use AAC without being interrupted in conversation? And maybe some advice too for how to use AAC without people acting mean/judgy? I can speak verbally for a decent portion of every day, but I can experience verbal fatigue (idk if that's the actual name for it, but that's how I understand it within myself) that can lead to shutdowns of my verbal speech capacities and meltdowns. I'm pretty scared to use AAC in front of people who aren't my partner or my best friend, but I know that I need to use it more to stay healthy. If you have any tips, I'd really appreciate them!! Thank you!!

Honestly, I’ve turned the typing noise on my AAC. So when I type, people can hear me type so they know to just be patient for a moment lol. It’s been very helpful and helps a lot with getting people to shut up for a moment. It’s basically my way of saying “shut up, I’m typing.” However I know some don’t use a text to speech app so this might not work for you.

In terms of getting people to accept it, that’s really hard. For awhile, even though I could talk a little but still struggled a LOT, I didn’t use AAC for the same fears. It took me a long time to build up the confidence to use it in front of others and have the “if you don’t listen to me then I don’t care about you” mentality. It just takes a lot of practice. The more you practice, the easier it gets. I will also be honest, it wasn’t until I became a full time user and was unable to talk at all and it was an ABSOLUTE necessity that I became truly confident in using it. I still struggle, but it’s a lot better now.

Practice, practice, practice. That’s all you can really do at the moment. Building your confidence with AAC, seeing it as an extension of your body instead of just a tool, and being more in tune with it, really helps. Bond with your AAC. Decorate it, give it a colorful case if you have a dedicated device, etc etc. Do what you have to do to make it yours.

I wish you the best of luck! Have a lovely day!

#zebrambles #thanks for the ask!#sending you love and positivity!#aac

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marloree · 4 months ago

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Hiii!!! I have a hyuka x fem reader fic or oneshot idea thats been in my head for weeks😭

Hyuka and y/n dated for 5 yrs and broke up about 2 years ago because her mental health was going really bad and she became too dependant on him and he wanted y/n to heal independently so he broke up with her even though he was still deeply in love but stayed as friends because they didnt wanna break their 19 years of friendship….. but who knows if any of them have moved on during those years…

pls <33 and thank uuu

៳ₑₐ𝑛𝑡 𝑡ₒ 𝑏ₑ 𝑡ₒ𝑔ₑ𝑡ⲏₑᵣ

Pairing: Huening Kai × Reader

Genre: angst to fluff, romance, lovers to friends to lovers

Word count: 2.6 k

A/N: this took me quite a while to finish, but thank you for requesting and being patient with me, nonnie! I had so much fun writing this, please feel free to request more in the future!!

Taglist: @babymochibeargyu

“We should break up”, those were the words you uttered exactly 2 years ago. Now, as you were tossing around restlessly in bed, all the memories took over you, again.

It was, or, rather, could have been your 7 year anniversary with Kai, that is if you didn't break up.

“I respect and agree with your decision, we really should break up, at least for now, Y/N”, the scene was getting replayed in your head for the Nth time, reminding you of a broken record.

You still remembered the hug Kai gave you before taking his leave, the pained look on his face. You remembered everything as if it happened only yesterday, but, sadly, that wasn’t the case.

You stayed friends and you shouldn’t have a thing to grieve about, right? Perhaps you were just being a bit ungrateful, but, no matter how much you appreciated Kai’s presence as your friend, you still wanted things back like they were 2 years ago.

Well, not every thing, you definitely wouldn’t want to get back into the mental state you were in back at the time.

Getting only deeper into the mess day by day, you clung onto Kai as the last straw that could bring you back to normal life. That wasn’t the right thing to do, for neither of you. You couldn’t put all the weight of your worries and struggles onto Kai’s shoulders. No matter how badly he wanted to help you, he would never get you out of your state on his own - he simply wouldn’t handle it. And you knew it. Even Kai couldn’t deny that you were right in a way: concentrating all your will to live on him only wasn't the right decision.

But, you knew Kai would never leave you alone in such a state and you were grateful for that. You decided to stay as friends, that was the best decision for both of you: while not letting you grow completely dependent on him, Kai still helped you as much as he could. With his assistance and immeasurable care, you slowly, but surely, made it: you got back to your best. You felt the life rushing through your veins, the energy taking over you again, you no longer were the poor mess that had to depend on your boyfriend for little things. Kai was so happy to see you get better. Sometimes, it felt like he was even happier for you than you yourself were.

Now, having finally gotten back into exploring new things, finally having found a job that could bring you joy, with new people surrounding you, your life felt full, complete, almost perfect.

Kai, through these years, had always remained by your side, cheering and rooting for you. But, you couldn’t deny that you missed him as your partner. You always viewed Kai as a great friend, a great person, a great boyfriend. He was truly the right person for you. But, could you say the same about yourself? Were you the true right one for him?

That definitely wasn’t the case 2 years ago. Naturally, everyone has their ups and downs, everyone struggles, but, you felt like you were dragging both of you down in your past relationship. And you never thought it was right.

Kai definitely loved and cared for you, even now. It was as clear as day. But, could you really bring happiness and joy into his life? Even now, having returned your strength, you doubted that.

“What if I go down again? What if history repeats itself?”

Such thoughts never let you go, making you unsure on what would be the right decision in the current situation.

On one hand, since you both seemed to hold mutual feelings, why not get together? But, on the other hand, what if your feelings were wrong, what if you never were meant for each other? What if you only fed up your illusions, what if the only right way was to part your ways completely? It was obvious you couldn't stay as friends only, but would getting back together make the right step?

There were too many “what if’s”...

But, then it hit you: neither of you ever tried dating someone else during these 2 years. Even if you were never meant to be together, would the separation make any of you happier? It probably would hurt both of you just as much.

But then, why fight your feelings? If burning all the possible bridges the two of you built during these years wouldn’t make the right decision, why not listen to your heart and try getting back together?

You couldn’t foretell your fate, but you were sure you’d make it your destiny to be by each other’s side.

It's not like your relationship started out of the blue. The feelings slowly built up during the long years of your friendship. You would never bring yourself to tear apart the bonds that tied you for so long.

Was it even possible, to begin with? Even if you'd part your ways physically, you were sure you'd never get one another out of your hearts and minds.

Sticking to each other through all the hardships seemed to be the only solution for you. You always would struggle and go through something, but that's the way life is. You knew that in the end you'd make it, you two would make it through.

On that note your gaze wandered to the clock. It was almost 4 am…

Calling Kai right now definitely wouldn't be the right thing to do. “I should let him rest properly and call him in the morning”, you thought.

The thoughts of your possible reunion brought some peace to your restless mind - you finally fell asleep at dawn.

Having woken up when the afternoon was behind, you were glad you had a day off.

Checking your phone, you saw a “good morning” text from Kai. He was so considerate, even though you weren’t currently in a relationship… Oh, the message was sent a good few hours ago. He probably was worrying right now about what took you so long to reply.

“Morning, or, rather, afternoon, Kai! Do you have some spare time to meet up today? It’s nothing of urgency, but I’d really want to discuss something with you if you have time, of course.” you clicked “send”, finally getting out of bed to prepare for the day.

Despite being busy with work, Kai replied relatively quickly. “Of course I can spare some time for you, Y/N! How does 7 pm at the nearby café sound?”

“We don’t have to make it so officially, Kai, you could just come to my place, I don’t mind.” You quickly texted back, not wanting him to go out of the way just to meet with you.

“Ah, if you’re okay with it, then sure! I’ll come once I’m done with work.”

You hearted the message before going to clean up your apartment. You had plenty of time to run all your errands before the evening comes and Kai's day at work ends.

While occupying yourself with work all day, you hadn’t noticed how fast time flew. Once 7 o’clock struck, your entire flat was cleaned from top to bottom, a nice dinner prepared to satisfy the hunger of the two of you and create a more cozy vibe. You were going to have a serious talk, so trying to bring up a warm atmosphere definitely wouldn't hurt.

You knew Kai would come within the next half an hour. While waiting, you sat by the window, looking at the sky that was slowly turning pink and orange as the sun set down.

The view was unspeakably beautiful and soothing. The colors, in a way, seemed to represent Kai’s cheerful personality. The color orange radiated just as much warmth and joy as Kai did, meanwhile the color pink reminded you of his tender and sweet personality.

As you were looking outside, you suddenly noticed a familiar figure walking to your house. The sun rays playing on Kai’s figure only added to the feeling of warmth and comfort that he always brought with his presence.

Once Kai got closer, he looked up at your windows, noticing you. You waved, a warm smile tugging your lips: you were always so happy to see him. Kai’s presence alone could make your day ten times better. Even when you were going through something, a text or a word from him already calmed your mind.

Kai waved back, the usual broad cheerful smile that was so dear to you appearing on his face right away.

You quickly got up to open the door. The nervousness that was getting to you because of the anticipated talk faded by the calmness and understanding that seemed to radiate off Kai.

He always was so considerate and caring, he definitely would understand you and would never do anything to hurt you in any possible way or form. You trusted him so, so much, like you’ve never trusted anyone before. Kai never doubted you or disregarded your or anyone’s feelings. He always seemed to understand everyone and everything. In all honesty, you wanted to be just as comforting and understanding as Kai was to everyone.

“Hii, Kai!” you greeted, the smile never leaving your face.

“Evening!”, he stepped into your apartment, pulling you in a quick yet gentle hug that both of you got so used to.

“I’m so glad you came, I wanted to discuss something that has been on my mind for a while now…But, come on in first, I got us some food.” you invited him straight to the kitchen.

“Ahh, that’s so sweet of you, Y/N, but there really was no need…”

You didn’t let him finish, interrupting in the middle of the sentence. “But, Kai, there was a need, I know you're starving after work and our meetup didn’t let you get dinner first.”

“Well, you’re right about that”, Kai didn’t push it, happy himself to share a meal with you: it’s been so long since you last did.

After washing your hands, you two sat down at the table. Your kitchen was just perfectly placed: all the rays of the setting sun got in at the right angle, lighting up the room and creating just the needed atmosphere.

You ate in silence for a while, letting Kai relax a little after work while you gathered your thoughts together.

“How’s work?” You asked after a few minutes, starting with a small chat.

“Ah, everything’s going quite alright; we’re doing better this month, actually. What about yours?”

“Oh, that’s great! I'm doing fine with mine, too.” You shifted in your seat, unsure on how to turn the conversation to the wanted topic, but decided to simply state things as they are. If only it would be just as easy to do as to say...

“Um, Kai, the thing I wanted to talk about…it's actually about us.” You glanced up, looking for all the possible reactions. When you did, Kai was already looking at you. Seems like he expected the topic to be brought up at some point.

However, his gaze wasn’t judging or hostile; on the contrary, it was encouraging, with a hint of relief that the topic was finally brought up, almost pleading for you to continue.

You took a deep breath in, once again looking up at Kai for the support you so needed at the moment.

“Yes, Y/N, I’m listening”, he smiled slightly, although it was obvious that he himself was rather nervous, afraid of what you were going to say next.

In the end, there were only two ways for you: to either stay together, but only as a couple, or part your ways completely. Which one would you choose, the thought alone made his worries escalate.

After a few moments of deafening silence, you finally began your speech. You had so many unspoken thoughts and feelings to share, you felt like you'd never stop talking.

But, you had to share every single thought that came to your mind, you had to be truthful and honest as much as you could - after all, the outcome solely depended on your honesty with Kai and yourself, to begin with, and your ability to express yourself and your emotions.

Before you began, you felt like you were suffocating in the endless kaleidoscope of your thoughts, but as you kept on speaking, it felt like a massive weight was being taken off your chest. Even if things don’t end up working out the way you want them to, it still is going to be so much easier for you once you take it all off your mind.

You went on and on, telling and explaining every single thing and thought that occurred to you during your relationship and further friendship with Kai. 7 years, in total…you had so much to tell.

You tried hiding as little as possible, telling everything you felt: the guilt of not being good enough for him, ruining your relationship, you shared all the negative thoughts that took over your mind for the past months, but you also shared just as much about your feelings for him, how much you loved and cared for him, how much you wanted him to be happy at the first place, how much you feared to ruin his life with yours, but also just how you couldn’t imagine your life without his…

You talked and talked, feeling your thoughts getting messy again. “Kai, I don’t know…I love you so, so much, but I don’t want my feelings to harm you in any way”, you finished your speech so abruptly, almost wanting to cry: the situation seemed just unsolvable to you now as it did last night.

Kai didn’t respond right away, taking his time to gather his thoughts as well. However, his hand found yours, giving it a tight reassuring squeeze.

“Y/N, you never hurt or harmed me in any way possible. I can’t live without you just as much as you can't live without me. I understand that your doubts come from the worry you feel for me, I appreciate it that you care so much, I really do. But please, Y/N, do not put yourself down, do not disregard your own feelings. The only thing I can say right now that I’m absolutely sure about is: I’ll never be happy living without you by my side.”

You listened quietly, slowly processing his words.

“The only way you can hurt me is by hurting yourself”, Kai continued, “I’d never want either of us living unhappily.” The words got followed by another squeeze of your hand, this time a much gentler one.

“So, at this moment, I’d like to ask you…Y/N, would you want to consider being my girlfriend? I know this is now the first time for us, but please be sure that my feelings are no weaker; they’re even stronger now than they were 7 years ago when we first started dating, I’m saying this being as honest as I can only be.” Kai confessed, his gaze being so soft and gentle.

“I-”, you breath hitched in your throat, your heart almost bursting out of your chest. “I want to be your girlfriend, Kai, even need to be yours, I’d say”, you muttered the last part shyly, yet loud enough for him to make out what you said.

“And I need to be yours, Y/N”, he whispered, intertwining your hands.

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7-wonders · 2 years ago

Text

Our Very Own Greek Tragedy (Pt. 2 of 2)

Morpheus/Dream of the Endless x Reader

Summary: As the weeks begin to stretch on with no solution as to why you can't remember Morpheus and the Dreaming when you wake up, you begin to lose hope. Can yours be the rare tragedy with a happy ending?

Or, part two of "yes this is based on that post that I made about Reader and Morpheus being in a relationship in the Dreaming but then you don't remember your dreams when you wake up."

Word Count: 5.5k

Notes: Thank you guys so so so much for being patient with me as I dealt with one of the worst months I've ever been through, as well as your sweet messages. I cannot thank you enough for your support. I can only hope that, amidst the grief and the stress, this makes some sort of sense.

Let me know your thoughts! Feedback is always appreciated, likes, comments, and reblogs keep me going and make me happy, and my inbox is always open to chat about whatever!

Part One of Two

“...and for some reason, instead of choosing fight or flight, my body chose fight and flight.”

“Oh, no!”

“Oh, yes. So anyways, that’s how I got a five-year ban from the biggest haunted house in the city.” The man sitting across from you finishes telling his riot of a story about when he punched an actor playing Michael Myers in the face while simultaneously screaming and trying to run away, making you laugh harshly into the glass of water you’re attempting to take a sip out of.

Derek is 27, a software engineer who loves science fiction and photography. He’s handsome in a nerdy way, his big brown eyes hidden behind a pair of glasses and his brown hair simultaneously sophisticated and messy. Polite and with an understated sense of humor you’ve been laughing the entirety of tonight. Your friends have set you up on a date with him, insisting that he’s just your type and that you need to get out and meet new people.

And they’re right. Derek is traditionally your type, everything you’ve historically gone for in a potential partner. That’s why it’s so confusing that you’re really not that into him. He’s nice, to be sure, and you’re having fun, but in the way that you’d have fun when hanging out with one of your friends. It doesn’t feel right to call it a date.

You haven’t been feeling right the past couple of weeks, if you’re being honest with yourself. For some reason, it all seems to stem back to your sleep. Where before you would wake up everyday feeling refreshed and happy, now you find yourself defeated and upset before you can even get out of bed. It’s frustrating, even more so because you don’t know why it is that you’re feeling this way since you can’t remember whatever it is you’re dreaming about.

Maybe that’s why you’re surreptitiously checking the time on the clock above Derek’s shoulder, hoping that the next time you look, it will be an acceptable amount of time that you’ve been on this date and can suggest that it’s time for it to end. Maybe it’s just because you don’t feel a spark, which is too bad. You’ve enjoyed tonight, but on a strictly platonic level.

Eventually the date does come to an end. Derek drives you back to your home and even walks you to the door–a perfect gentleman, and normally a move you’d swoon over. Instead, you’re just feeling tired and more than a little bad at the fact that you don’t reciprocate the feelings you know that he has.

“I had a great time tonight,” Derek says, shyly shoving his hands into his coat pocket. He rocks back on his feet, trying to remain a respectable distance away.

“Yeah, it was fun!” You’re not lying to him; tonight was fun, just not romantically.

When his eyes flick from yours to your lips and back again, you decide to beat him to what he’s inevitably going to start leaning in for and give him a kiss on the cheek. To his credit, he hides the disappointment very well.

“Let me know when you get home safely?” you ask.

He nods a little too enthusiastically. God, it’s gonna suck having to tell him that you don’t want to date him. “Absolutely. I’ll talk to you soon.”

You smile and wave goodbye at him as he walks back to his car. The moment you close the door, your cheerful facade drops and you sigh heavily. Well, you think, at least it’s over.

Derek later texts you as promised, and you respond with a smiley face emoji and wishes for sweet dreams before setting your phone to ‘do not disturb.’ Tomorrow, you decide before you fall asleep. You’ll rip the bandage off with him tomorrow.

When you open your eyes in the Dreaming, guilt immediately begins to eat at you. There it is, your nightly refresher as to why you’re so miserable as of late; because you can’t remember the love of your life, the King of Dreams and Ruler of the Nightmare Realm, unless you’re asleep and with him in said realm. The moment that you open your eyes back in the Waking, which is where you spend the majority of your time, it’s as if Dream of the Endless doesn’t exist. Hence, the date you allowed yourself to be set up on.

While you’re certainly not doing any of this on purpose, that doesn’t make it any better. You’ve basically just cheated on Dream and had no qualms about it since your stupid Waking body doesn’t know that you’re in love. Though…maybe, subconsciously, you do? That’s really the only reason you can think of as to why you were so turned off of everything about the evening’s events and your date. It doesn’t make you feel that much better, but knowing that there’s a chance that your very soul knows who it belongs to (just as the holder of your soul belongs to you) does help.

Regardless, the guilt leads you to not leave the library and actively seek Morpheus out like you usually would. You’re definitely not hiding from him when you grab one of Sylvia Plath’s unpublished novels and tuck yourself in a small alcove with a window giving you a view of the mountains that are home to both dreams and nightmares. No, you’re just…making yourself scarce and catching up on some reading you didn’t know you had been wanting to do. Besides, Morpheus is busy running a realm and being Endless. Surely he has more, and better, to do than hunt you down?

Apparently, you’re mistaken. Barely an hour (at least, you think it’s an hour; time is a fickle, funny thing in the Dreaming) passes before the hair on the back of your neck prickles, the air shifts, and Morpheus appears in front of you. The stars in his eyes, which have always been your true indicator as to how he’s feeling, twinkle with all of the joy that his barely-there smile hides. It makes your heart, heavy with the knowledge of your betrayal, ache.

“My starlight,” he greets, holding a hand out for you to take.

Your knee pops when you stand, and you stifle a laugh at the horrified look on Morpheus’s face. It’s fun getting to see his reactions to the normal plights of humans, including joints that make odd noises.

“Hi.” You lean in to kiss him, and the look on his face after you do so tells you that nothing’s going to get by him.

“Something is wrong.”

Dammit. And just when you had decided on the course of pretending like everything was a-okay.

“What makes you say that?” you stammer.

“Your eyes.” His hand comes to your cheek, and his thumb strokes the skin under your eye. “You’re…sad. Uncertain. Why?”

Dammit.

Instead of answering, you throw your arms around him and bury your face into his chest. You can’t look at him, not when you whisper, “I went on a date.”

Morpheus hums, not hearing what you said. “What?”

“I said, I went on a date.”

He stiffens under your hold, and it makes you feel sick to your stomach. You pull away from him, holding your hands behind your back in an attempt to keep them from shaking so violently. They still continue to shake, but at least Morpheus doesn’t see it.

“I didn’t even like him!” you try to explain. “I went because my friends basically forced me on a date and I wanted to get them off my case. We had dinner, it was nice, then he drove me back home. That’s it. But then I woke up here and I’m so ashamed at what I did. I couldn’t keep something like this from you.”

Morpheus is silent as he tries to keep his composure, and you don’t blame him. You’d be mad too, even if there are extenuating circumstances that led to the aforementioned date. Though you want to keep talking and trying to explain yourself, you know that this would just lead to you continuing to dig a bigger hole for yourself, so you wait for him to make the first move.

When he does speak, he does so quietly. You’re staring out the window, too nervous to face him, but you can feel his gaze on you as he says, “You are not at fault here.”

You scoff. He repeats this phrase so often lately that you wouldn’t be surprised if it becomes the new Dreaming slogan. You know he’s speaking truthfully, that he doesn’t hold any sort of contempt towards you for this. As he’s said to you so many times now, he can’t be mad at you when you quite literally don’t remember any part of the Dreaming when you wake up. You, however, can and will be extremely mad at yourself.

Days of research into why you don’t remember and how you could potentially remember has turned into weeks of research, which has now become months of research. And still, you’re not any closer to finding an answer to this question that’s plagued both you and Morpheus. Any of the rare potential solutions that you’ve come up with have been unfeasible: witches asked too high a price with no guarantee that anything they tried would work, Morpheus’s few mortal contacts could not find any lead to help, and the Dreaming’s library didn’t hold any answers.

The only real fix that anybody had come up with would be for you to move to the Dreaming permanently. While that was certainly a plan that you had, you also still enjoyed the life that you live in the Waking, and there would be loose ends for you to tie up in order to move. Morpheus would basically have to kidnap your unknowing, Waking self, and neither you nor he were willing to deal with the potential trauma of that, no matter how desperate you were becoming.

“Well it still feels a lot like I am,” you say, “especially when it’s causing you so much pain.”

“You are in pain as well,” Morpheus points out.

He’s right, of course. You really hate it when he’s right; and he’s right a lot. Another perk of being Endless, you suppose. That, or being alive for a really long time just gives you the natural ability to always know what to say.

“You’re not mad at me for basically cheating on you?” you ask.

You’re not at all expecting Morpheus to laugh at your earnest question. Though you’ve heard his laugh before, it’s always a little disconcerting; harsh and grating, like it’s coming from someone who’s both never laughed and never heard a laugh. Even still, you love his awful, full-throated laugh. You just didn’t think that this situation would elicit such a reaction from him.

“I would hardly call one miserable evening spent with a male suitor who did not have any sort of chance with you ‘cheating,’ my love.” He seems awfully pleased about all of this, and while you’re happy for him, you’re also a little confused. “You said it yourself that your friends forced you to go, and that you had no interest in the man. I am jealous that I was not the one able to take you to dinner in the Waking, but there is nothing for you to feel any sort of guilt over.”

It’s certainly a relief to know that he doesn’t hold any grudge against you, nor does he see this as the same grievous error that you do. You’d feel a whole lot more relieved, however, if you didn’t have to worry about any of this at all and could just be happy with your love in both of your realms.

“What do we do?” you ask finally, today’s Waking events giving you a bad feeling about things to come.

“We continue to search, and in the meantime, we love each other as we always have.”

“You still want me?” You’re only half-joking, and he knows it. “Even with all of this trouble?”

“I want you in any way that I can have you. If, one day, you were to decide that our love was not meant to be, I would still be content with being a mere observer in your life.”

“I would never,” you say earnestly. “You know that, right? Sorry to break it to you, but you’re stuck with me.”

“And what an honor and a joy it is,” he says before leaning down to rest his forehead against yours.

The odds, you know, are insurmountable. But for now, here, in Morpheus’s arms, it feels a little more doable.

•••

Morpheus remains in his throne room long after you’ve returned to the Waking. Though he did his best to take both your mind and his off of the troubles you’re facing, the awareness of said troubles always remains on the periphery. Now, he stares up at the galaxy that swirls above his head, hoping that the stars will hold some sort of answer within their constellations.

What if there is no solution? What if this is just the universe’s way of truly expressing its disdain for Morpheus; by giving him the love that he had only wished to have, just for his lover to be doomed not to remember him when not in the Dreaming? Some would call him dramatic, but he believes that, were this to be the case, he would not survive such a heartbreak. Now that he’s had you in his life, he simply cannot go on living any sort of an existence without you.

He’s teetering precariously on the edge of a dangerous thought spiral when Matthew lands on his throne with a caw, breaking him out of such morose thinking. “Boss, you got a minute?”

“What do you require, Matthew?” Morpheus asks.

“Lucienne is looking for you, she wants you to meet her in the library when you get the chance.”

It’s not as if he’s doing anything but brooding (moping, you would call it), so Morpheus stands from the stairs that he finds preferable to his throne when he’s not required to conduct official business and nods at his emissary. “Let us not keep her waiting, then.”

Lucienne looks as though she’s been waiting for Morpheus to arrive since the moment she sent Matthew off to request an audience with him. She’s already looking down the long aisle that gives her a direct view of the main doors from her desk, and she stands in recognition when Morpheus and Matthew appear.

“Matthew said you were looking for me?”

“My Lord,” Lucienne greets. “Do you remember when Lady Constantine completed a task for you in 1794?” She has the tact to not say what that task was, knowing that giving more detail than necessary will do nothing but bring more heartbreak to Morpheus.

He nods. “Of course.”

“You had her drink from a spring near the Shores of Creation, so that she would remember the conversation she had with you about how to escape Robespierre. Might that same spring be an option for her Ladyship?”

Even in such dire circumstances, Morpheus still finds himself fighting a smile at the title Lucienne addresses you as. You hate being referred to so formally, and always insist to everyone that they just call you by your name if they need to address you. Most have adjusted to the request, but Lucienne still holds steadfast to traditional conventions.

“When I rebuilt the Dreaming, the spring did not come back. I know not why, nor do I know how it came to be all those years ago,” Morpheus explains.

“So we must attempt to find answers through other avenues. Perhaps we peek into the past?”

“Do we know any time travelers?” Matthew muses lightheartedly.

Morpheus shakes his head and says, “The last time traveler I knew, I have not seen in almost three hundred years.”

Matthew’s feathers ruffle as if he’s about to comment on how he was just making a joke and didn’t expect time travelers to actually be real, but Lucienne cuts in with an idea before he can speak. “The Fates could potentially help.”

“As you said to me once before, the Fates speak in riddles. I do not believe they would be particularly insightful in a matter such as this.”

She nods, and thinks for a moment more. “Your sister has continually reminded you that the family is willing to assist one another, given such assistance is asked for. Might Destiny be willing?”

His first instinct is to emphatically turn down this suggestion. But Lucienne is right; the Endless siblings (most of them, that is), for all their interpersonal troubles, are also more than willing to help out another member of the family should they ask. For most members of the family, their price for assisting with such a request would be far too steep. However…

He has two siblings that would be the most open to helping, and only one would do so solely based on a sense of duty. That same sibling would likely hold the most information about the past, which is the information that he needs. However, this could also be a dead end. For all that Morpheus insists on sticking to the rules that help to keep his realm in order, his older brother somehow makes Morpheus look like a rebellious teen when it comes to following rules.

It’s a gamble, but it seems to be pretty safe. With that in mind, Morpheus makes his decision. “As far as my siblings are concerned, Destiny is the one that would not require any sort of favor from me. If it is written in the Book that he is meant to help me, then he shall. Likewise, he will not help if that is what the Book commands.”

“It is likely the lowest stakes you are going to get here. And if Destiny cannot help, the Fates can serve as a backup plan,” Lucienne points out.

“I shall contact my brother, then.” He waits for Matthew to land on his shoulder before turning back to look at his librarian. “Thank you for your wisdom and assistance, Lucienne. It is…much appreciated.”

Lucienne flattens her lips against each other, but it does nothing to stop the smile that’s fighting to appear on her face. “You’re most welcome, my Lord.”

Morpheus nods and tries not to look as humbled as he feels. He really must stop taking Lucienne and her counsel for granted. How many times throughout the course of Lucienne’s long, long life spent as a creature of the Dreaming has she talked Morpheus off of the proverbial ledge?

As he walks into his gallery to request a meeting with his brother, the first frame, the one containing a large book, begins to glow. “Dream,” a voice says from the frame, “it is I, Destiny of the Endless. I stand in my gallery and hold your sigil, brother. Won’t you come through?”

This meeting was meant to happen, then.

“I will go alone, Matthew,” Morpheus directs. Though Matthew shifts uncomfortably, like he’s not quite sure he wants to let Morpheus do this without him, he jerks his head in a nod nonetheless.

“Good luck!” Matthew wishes before taking off through the open door and making his way back into the Dreaming proper. With a sigh, Morpheus rolls his shoulders back to make himself stand straight and proud as he steps through the portrait frame and out into his eldest sibling’s realm.

The Garden of Forking Ways is always a little disconcerting, no matter how many times Morpheus has visited the realm of Destiny of the Endless. There are an infinite number of paths that one might take, so many that it becomes almost dizzying to look at, and Morpheus imagines it would be quite easy to become forever lost in this never-ending labyrinth. Thankfully, his brother has been expecting him, and is there the moment that Morpheus appears.

“Well-met, Destiny,” Dream greets.

Destiny stands as tall and imposing as ever, the hood of his cloak pulled low over his unseeing, milky eyes. Those that know him, which is really only his siblings, would argue that, though Destiny is blind, he, in fact, sees all, even that which everyone else cannot see with normal vision.

When Dream arrives, Destiny lays a hand over the book that is forever chained to him. Evidently, the book has told him whatever it is he needed to know, for he nods and gestures Dream closer to him.

“My brother, I thank you for answering my call.” This is as warm as Destiny will ever get; Morpheus, however, has had an eternity to get used to these mannerisms, and knows that this is uncharacteristically tender coming from Destiny.

“You call on the family so little, and I can hardly recall the last time you summoned me individually. What is the matter?”

“Father Time visited my realm some time ago. He said that he had a boon for you, one that was granted as some recompense for your imprisonment. Father, being who he is, could not remember if your boon would help you in the past, present, or future. At least, I believed that he could not remember, for when I asked which it was, he simply said ‘yes’ before taking his leave.”

Morpheus would be lying if he were to say that he didn’t believe he deserved some sort of restitution from the universe or the Creator for all that he had gone through. Still, he never imagined that said amends would be coming from Father Time, who, at best, has only ever shown a vague disinterest in the lives of his children.

(He would also be lying if he were to say that he wasn’t at least a little jealous that their father had deigned to bless one of his children with a rare visit. Of course it was Destiny; the eldest, the wisest, the favorite. He thought that he had long-since come to terms with his family and their strange dynamics, but something about being directly confronted with such a fact has him feeling every bit the middle child that he is.)

From within his robes, Destiny produces a vial which he holds out towards his brother between his thumb and forefinger. Morpheus stares at the pink liquid within and wonders if he should really get his hopes up, or if this is just simply a cruel joke. But no, it’s not. He can feel the dreamstuff that the liquid is made out of, for he is also dreamstuff, and the dreamstuff is he. Like recognizes like.

“I now understand what he meant, and I believe you will as well. Do you know what this is?”

Of course he knows what it is. How could he not, when, for all intents and purposes, it appears to be of his realm? “Water from the spring that used to run near the Shores of Creation?”

Destiny nods, and Morpheus feels his chest tighten. “Thus, his comments make perfect sense now. The past, being that this spring no longer flows in your realm. Presently, you are looking for a solution. With this, your future will be achieved, one way or another.”

He very much agrees with that hypothesis, though the last statement does cause him to pause. “What do you mean, brother? ‘One way or another’?”

“I have said what is to be said.”

To be fair, it’s more than what Destiny would typically say in such a situation, and Morpheus is grateful for it. Still, he remains wary; when has his family ever been clear in their actions without any sort of ulterior motive? “And it is mine? There are no…stipulations, or deals that I must adhere to?”

“It was given freely, for you to use as you wish. A gift, and nothing more.”

For the first time in weeks, Morpheus feels like he can breathe freely. “Thank you, Destiny. Truly.”

“I wish luck to you and your bride. I shall see you soon, when realms meet and the old converges with the new.”

Morpheus doesn’t bother trying to decipher his brother’s cryptic words. What will be, will be, and only once it’s happened will the connection to Destiny’s prophecy make sense.

His own gallery appears before him in a flash, Destiny having sent his brother back to his own realm upon their business being concluded. The vial of spring water still remains in his hand, and he closes his hand around it tightly to remind himself that it’s here and real. The solution that they’ve been searching for, housed in such a small container that he almost worries that he’ll misplace it.

For the rest of the day, he can only halfheartedly complete the tasks that he had intended to finish. His mind is so distracted that, at one point, he’s pretty sure that he gave The Corinthian (remade without certain traits that made the first iteration a failed project) permission to take a day trip to the Waking. That will surely have to be addressed later, but it can wait. It has to wait. The only thing that he can think clearly about is the small bottle currently sitting in his pocket, which might finally hold the key to your problems.

Morpheus can feel you pass through the barrier separating your realm from his almost as easily as he can feel Matthew do the same. So when you finally, finally fall asleep, he’s there in the library at the exact same moment as you. When you see him, you jump in fright, obviously not expecting him to be right in front of you.

“Give a little warning next time you feel the need to try and send me into a heart attack!” Regardless of your feigned chagrin, you kiss him in greeting before smiling at him.

“Hopefully you’ll forgive me when I tell you that I have good news.”

“What kind of good news?”

Morpheus feels as though every atom in his body is vibrating from the excitement, so much so that he glances down at his hands to see if they’re physically shaking (they’re not). “I appear to have been granted a boon from my father.”

You look bewildered, but it’s not towards what Morpheus had been expecting you to be confused about. “You have a dad?”

“Time.”

“We’ll focus on that later,” you say, shaking your head as if to draw yourself away from this new fact. “What did he give you?”

“Long ago, a spring ran through the Dreaming. The waters of this spring, when consumed, allowed the drinker to remember what had happened within the Dreaming as easily as if they were recalling their day in the Waking. After my imprisonment, when I rebuilt my realm, the spring was absent, for reasons unknown to me.

“Father told my brother, Destiny, that I was owed recompense for my capture, and that the gift he entrusted Destiny to give to me was such payment.” Morpheus reaches into the pocket on the outside of his coat, the only one with lining not made of the universe, and pulls out the glass vial. “The gift was water from the spring, water that I did not believe would ever be in the Dreaming again.”

“So, if I drink this, then…” You don’t say what you’re thinking, not wanting to get your hopes up. Morpheus, having been in your shoes mere hours before, knows exactly how you’re feeling.

“You should be able to remember everything about the Dreaming, about me, when you wake up.” Morpheus hands you the glass container, pressing it gently into your palm. “I will not force you to drink it, however. The choice is yours.”

You scoff and tease, “Do all of the declarations of love and fidelity mean nothing to you?”

The top of the vial is pried off with the nail of your thumb, and you take an experimental sniff of the liquid inside. Once it’s passed whatever test you’ve just administered, you toss your head back and take it as though it’s a shot of liquor. Morpheus doesn’t ever recall actually being one to take a shot, but one sees their fair share of creatures imbibing on all manner of alcohol when one converses with the likes of Faerie and gods.

The actual act of you drinking the water is anticlimactic, and the disappointment shows clearly on your face when you say, “I don’t feel any different.” Still, Morpheus is not discouraged.

“Though it has been about three hundred years since the spring was last used, I do not recall any instant symptoms to show that it had worked. Unfortunately, the only thing we can do is wait.”

Despite his reassurance, you still pout. “Well, that sucks.”

“I am quite sure that we will find some way to pass the time until you wake,” Morpheus says, as if you’ve forgotten that you can quite literally do whatever you want when in the Dreaming. “In the meantime, there is something that I wish to give you.”

“Something else besides magic water?”

“Close your eyes.”

You do as he asks, of course. He moves to stand behind you, reaching into the air and pulling down the gift that he has been intending to give you. His long fingers work to fasten a clasp after he lays the chain around your neck, and when he finishes, he lays his hands on your shoulders. Taking that as a signal, you open your eyes again and look down.

A beautiful silver necklace rests just under the hollow of your throat. He watches as you hold the charm in your hand and run your thumb down the notches of the vertebrae-like trunk. Once you realize that it’s his sigil you hold, you turn in his grasp to meet his eyes.

“Morpheus, this is–” You’re stunned at the significance of such a gift. While he had discussed his desire to give you a wedding ring, being aware of the mortal custom for married couples to wear such jewelry, for Morpheus, this is his version of such a token that signifies devotion and partnership.

“It is yours, and shall remain on your neck when you return to the Waking. My hope is that you will remember me when you wake. If that is the case, you need only call for me while holding my sigil, and I will hear you.”

You kiss him repeatedly in thanks until his head feels like it’s spinning and he starts to think that he understands what mortal dizziness must feel like. “Thank you, truly. I’ve never received such a meaningful gift before.”

“Let us hope you can actually use it come tomorrow. Now, I believe I promised that I would let you win our next chess match?” He had promised such a thing after you had begged him to teach you how to play and then witnessed your subsequent frustration upon continually losing to a being who has played the game since its invention.

“Just announce it to everybody that I suck at chess, why don’t you,” you say fondly before taking his offered hand and letting him do his best to help find some way to pass the time until you wake.

•••

When you open your eyes and catalog the mid-morning sun filtering in through a crack in your curtains, you notice that this is the best that you’ve felt after waking up for weeks now. You roll over, hoping to catch a couple more hours of sleep since it’s the weekend and you have nowhere to be until the afternoon. A sharp poking on your chest has you aborting the idea of laying on your stomach, and you sit up instead to see what it is that’s disrupted your plan.

Around your neck lies a necklace that you most definitely did not go to bed wearing. The charm is like nothing you’ve seen before; if you had to guess, you’d call it some weird, mosquito-like creature. Your thumb traces the spiny trunk as you turn it this way and that to study it, and you watch the light glint in the two rubies that you think are meant to be eyes. A bolt of familiarity runs through you, but you’re not sure why.

Then, it hits you. This is Morpheus’s sigil that you’re wearing–a miniature figure of his helm, his main tool of office.

Morpheus, the love of your life.

Morpheus, the man who you normally don’t remember when you wake up.

“Morpheus!” you gasp, holding the necklace against your skin with both hands. “My love, I hold the necklace with your sigil on it, which you told me to use to call for you. Can you hear me?”

The seconds stretch out longer than any you’ve ever experienced as you wait agonizingly to see if your summoning worked. Then, the hair on the back of your neck prickles, the air shifts, and a smile grows to match the one that the man with starry eyes that appears standing before you wears.

“You called?”

•••

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