#thank you teddy for your input on the matter 🥰

[whitenikes]

Now you might be asking: tumblr user whitenikes, what Does make a dilf in the nhl? and I'm so glad you asked

(please remember this is for jokes and hahas im far from serious and just giving a humble perspective and I'm always open to discussion)

Based on the dilf recipe cited in my other post, it can be narrowed down quite easily and I've made a scale of Real True Dilfs to Absolutely Not A Dilf. In the middle is what I like to call Future Dilfs

(note: being a dad does not automatically make you a dilf, being dilf is a different energy within. a dad could be a dilf, not all dilfs are dads)

To Me, the peak of True Dilfhood is Steve Yzerman

An Apprentice (nick lidstrom, whom he raised into the next captain, among others)

Battle Scars or Other Injuries (eye injury circa 2000 something, knee injury, cheek scar, etcetera)

A Divorce (see also: 1991)

Gray Hairs

Body Hair

Crows Feet & Laugh Lines

Now many of these things could hypothetically apply to any guy you pluck from the nhl and I acknowledge that. However, it's all of these things working in conjunction with each other to make the man that sets him apart as a dilf

So. Who in the current nhl is a dilf?

I've heard what the tags have to say and I will accept Claude Giroux as a dilf. He has body hair, emotional battle scars, and a divorce (from the flyers)

Joe Pavelski I will accept as a dilf, he has an apprentice in wyjo, more emotional battle scars, and I'm almost positive I've seen him with eyes that beg for a moment of relief

Which then brings us to our Future Dilfs. These are the guys who hit a couple of the points but something is lacking from being complete dilfs, whether that be a lack of dilf swag or being too young to count as a dilf

Dylan Larkin has a future as a dilf. He has his children, moritz and lucas, crows feet, dark circles, and the pitiful eyes. "But doesn't that make him a dilf now??" No. Too Young. He needs to bake a little longer before he hits peak dilf

Brady Skjei is not yet a dilf no matter how many times people say he is. He has grey hairs and that's about it. He is a silver fox at best but he is Not a dilf, there's a distinction

And this brings us to our Absolutely Not a Dilf category. These are guys who are too young to count as a dilf, they're the "harry styles with a beard" essentially.

Any of the hughes brothers? Not dilfs, they're 20 year olds with beards or a suit. That doesn't make them dilfs. Perhaps they could be in the future but by god they are Not dilfs at this current time nor will they be dilfs in five years

Cale Makar is not a dilf, that is a baby faced rosy cheeked youth. absolutely not a dilf and it's shameful to refer to him as such

Under no circumstances are any rookies dilfs, be serious.

Bonus special category of Not A Dilf, But Dilf Adjacent is what I like to call Uncle Energy (or cousin)

Auston Matthews has fun uncle energy, but he's not a dilf. He could hypothetically be dilfy in the right circumstances

Mitch Marner has cousin you haven't seen in a few years energy and you're baffled that you're related to him