#thank you so much for requesting this white-queen-lacus

[cielizzydefencesquad]

Ultimate super impossible crack pair: Frances and Sebastian!! 😂 Ok, perhaps everything would end up in tragedy... For Sebastian, obviously! 😂😂

Frances x Sebastian…THIS IS THE CRACK!SHIP I’VE BEEN WAITING FOR XD @white-queen-lacus

Who is more likely to catch a cold? Neither.

“I’m surprised marchioness.” Sebastian observed, ruby eyes glittering as he prepared his master’s horse.

Frances Midford scarcely returned his gaze. “Are you? Has technology advanced so far that you are unable to discern the proper way of saddling a horse?”

“Not in the least, my lady.” His lips cut into a thin, amused smile. “Only, you do appear to be in excellent health. Since my ascension as Phantomhive butler I have yet to see you catch even the slightest cold.”

“Indeed.” She turned to face him, jaw sharp as the sword she carried. “Your due diligence is to be commended though I must reiterate, it is not my health you ought be keeping track of.”

“Of course.” He conceded. “But it is a thing to wonder is it not? Human constitutions are oh so frail—“

“You speak as though you yourself are not human, butler.” Her eyes narrowed.

“Ah, my apologies.” He bowed, ever so slightly. “You are quite the forthright woman, my lady.”

“Forthright? I suppose that’s one way of putting it.” There was a tinge of faint humor in her steely tone—one Sebastian did not miss.

“Quite. Forthright and formidable. A deathly combination.”

“If I am to receive these great adjectives I must ask—what does that make you?”

“Myself?” Sebastian quirked a brow as his eyes roved the marchioness’s face. “I,” he said at last, giving a sweeping bow just shy of mockery, “am merely one hell of a butler.”

Who hogs the blankets? Frances. Sebastian has no need for sleep and Frances sure as hell isn’t letting him near her bed XD

Who kills all the flowers? Frances. She’s never been fond of “trivial fancies” so whenever she receives a bouquet she either gives it to Edward (he’s an amateur botanist) or throws it out altogether. Sebastian, cocky as he is, becomes determined to break that cycle:

“My lady,” Sebastian appeared before her, a bouquet of orchids so red they bled crimson in his arms.

Frances arched a brow. “Butler. Has your master sent you here on a particular errand or is this midnight visit a social call?”

“A delivery,” he corrected smoothly. “For you, marchioness.”

“Me?”

“But of course. For love divine and sunny hours, in the language of the flowers.”

She glanced at the orchids in his arms, an expression of bemused vexation appearing on her fine features. “So it is.” She granted with a nod of her head.

Sebastian made a move to offer the blossoms to her when she took a step a step back.

He looked at her, puzzled.

“The flower that smiles today, tomorrow dies—all that we wish to stay, tempts and then flies.” Her inflection was cool—almost regal—the way a queen might dismiss a passing servant. 

The smile on the butler’s lips sharpened, deepening into a laceration of delighted intrigue. “So you parry with Shelley, my lady?” His eyes, forever a shade of dark mahogany, burned as crimson as the orchids in his hand. “Brava, marchioness.”

He bowed, laying the flowers on the ground, at her feet, eyes fixed on the cool, sharp jade of Lady Frances Midford’s eyes.

(Poem Sebastian quotes is Margaret Pickston’s The Language of Flowers. The poem Frances uses to counter is Percy Shelley’s The Flower That Smiles Today. While Pickston’s poem describes how the divinity of love can be conveyed through the message of flowers, Shelley’s verse refutes that statement by reminding people that flowers—no matter how beautiful—die quickly and easily, and, like all things live a brief, bereft life.)

Who eats all the candy before Halloween? Frances. It’s her deepest, darkest secret—that she, Frances Midford, the indomitable marchioness of Scotney—has a sweet tooth as bad as her nephew’s. She usually keeps all sweets out of sight and out of mind but when Halloween rolls around and Ciel comes calling (and dragging his demon butler with him) Frances can’t help but glance longingly at the caramels and cakes Sebastian keeps tucked in the basket. —> Eventually, he notices and honestly, it is a complete and utter revelation to him. Frances Midford has a weakness for sweets of all things. How positively sumptuous.

Who takes the longest showers? Neither—but Sebastian did walk in on a bathing Frances (by accident, he swears by holy virtue) but his triumph lasted for about .5 seconds before Frances realized and, like mighty Athena, kicked his ass out of the bathroom and the manor. Sebastian had to spend that night standing outside because Frances refused to allow Ciel to let him back in. And really, who was Ciel to defy his beloved aunt?

Who goes to bed at 5am but wakes up at 8am? Neither. Frances is a creature of habit—she goes to bed at 11 PM and wakes up at 6:30 AM without fail. Sebastian is mildly impressed. Even though he knows it’s insignificant at best, the fact that the marchioness can wake up every single day without tedium or unnecessary hassle (unlike his own employer) is a simple strength Sebastian has come to admire.

Who makes sure the other has a healthy breakfast? Sebastian. (“While I have observed your formidable state of health,” the butler laid down a tray of freshly cut peaches, “I will have to beg your pardon when I say that a little indulgence of nature’s fruit is necessary as well.”)

What pets do they have? No pets.

Wedding

Who proposes? Well…supposing the world turned upside down, Alexis died, and Ciel was freed from his contract…then Sebastian. Who was also fully aware there was a 50-50 chance of Frances either saying yes…or eviscerating him with her saber.

Who actually enjoyed the planning? Sebastian.

“Don’t tell me you enjoy this frivolity?” Frances inquired, a hint of incredulous surprise in her usually firm tone.

The butler turned to her, a hint of a smile on his lips. “But of course. After all, the London Times have called our upcoming nuptials—what was it? The social event of the season?”

She took a sip of her tea. “Quite. Foolish notion, wouldn’t you agree?”

“Utterly.”

Would their wedding be small or grand? Small. Very small and intimate, consisting only of family. No photographers, no journalists. (Which means the whole of London society remained ensconced in their mansions, silently weeping bitter tears at having been denied the opportunity to see the Frances Phantomhive walking down the aisle.) It took place at Halladan Hall, Sebastian’s new estate bequeathed to him by his majesty King Edward VII. Convenient, wouldn’t you say?

Which guest was happiest to see them get married? Ciel. At first he was burning with righteous indignation at the thought of Sebastian even daring to approach his aunt but the more that he thought about it…1) he was now freed from the contract so he supposes he ought to be somewhat grateful to the demon for that 2) his revenge was complete and 3) Frances Phantomhive would now be living with Sebastian 24/7. 

He honestly wishes he could stay with them for a week just to see how many times Sebastian might cry.

Children

How many children would they have? None. Sure Frances may have married him but she’s certainly not going to carry the spawn of satan in her womb. However, she and Sebastian do adopt a gorgeous Turkish Angora cat named Eve.

Would they adopt or have them naturally? Adoption.

Who is the strictest parent? Frances. She disciplines Eve (no getting kitty litter on the floor, no tearing up furniture, drinking her milk without splashing) while Sebastian pretty much indulges Eve’s every wish.

Are their children in homeschool or public school? House trained by Frances, the cat whisperer. (Sure Sebastian might like cats but they sure as hell don’t listen to him.)

Who is the favorite parent? Sebastian. If only because he’ll let Eve drink crème chantilly any time she wants.

Who checks on the kids in the middle of the night? Sebastian. He loves cuddling Eve when she’s asleep because she doesn’t try to claw out of his grasp or con him into letting her drink more crème chantilly.

Who decorated the nursery? Sebastian. Frances was honestly appalled that Sebastian wanted a separate nursery for Eve but gosh darn it, Sebastian put his foot down (after inwardly panicking for 3 days) and demanded asked/pleaded/begged to be allowed to decorate Eve’s room. Frances, after a splitting headache, agreed.

Frances + Sebastian + cat = what I want to see XD