#thank you if you've read through this :]
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otome-dissection · 29 days ago
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Idk man I just think that mizu/ena5 and its progression was really beautiful actually. I just think that the release of the ena5 song was also really beautiful and kind of the nail in the coffin for me and I haven't been able to get the event(s) out of my head all week and that I kind of want to talk about it, actually.
It's about being hurt so deeply and continuously that any kindness that could be offered to you manages to feel like a sin, that it makes you crumble and shatter but for all the wrong reasons, not because of the newfound safety, not out of relief, but something worse and more deeply ingrained in you than kindness ever was. It's about carefully measuring the distance at which you keep others away from yourself, to ensure that it never happens again ("To save yourself the trouble", if that makes it easier).
It's about realizing that the people you've been spending all this time with are drifting closer, that they just might bump up against the unsightly parts of yourself that you've tried to keep locked away, it's about turning around and sprinting at full speed and slamming the door shut and holding onto the handle behind you to stop it from turning, because you're as frightened of the possibility of another wound being inflicted on you as you are of the possibility that kinder, gentler hands will reach out and smooth over the exposed scar. It's about hating eyes that judge and silently condemn you as much as you hate eyes that simply see you and take all of you in without scrutiny, because no matter what they're looking and they're looking at you and they know that your hand's on that door handle and they know that you're hiding something because, as much as you try to keep it shut, they've seen through the crack that you foolishly left open.
(The prominence of eyes in Bake no Hana, specifically eyes looking and searching, and finally landing on you, the viewer, Mizuki, is so fucking. Visceral in my opinion. Every character in the MV stares at the viewer in a deadpan, almost judging way. Even though Mizuki knows deep down that niigo won't really hate them, won't judge them, she just can't stand their kindness either; any gaze directed at her is a loss, another prick in their skin. It screams "don't look at me" while making sure that you know, with horrific certainty, that they're looking for you, that you're being watched. You can't go outside, can't leave your room, because they're searching for you, and while that should be reassuring, to you it's anything but).
It's about not wanting to be dissected, whether it's with hands that want to pull your organs apart or stitch them back together because no matter what they're there, and they're getting frighteningly close to your heart. It's about blinding yourself and covering your eyes to it all because seeing means exposure and exposure means they're taking something from you and you can't do anything about it, much less take it all back, much less have a say in the matter. Everyone's just taking and taking and taking and you wish you could just be alone. You wish everyone would just disappear and you could live in a world all to yourself, for only yourself (but is that really what you want?).
It's about the way that, near the beginning of the Yoka ni Mitoreta MV, Mizuki and her loneliness is represented as a dark, splotchy stain in the shadows. No colors, no patterns, no way to clean it or wash it all away, just raw ugliness marring a blank canvas. It's about the way that Ena reaches out to it anyway, the way she startles when the glass shatters just when she finally starts reaching forward, the way that the rest of the MV/song represents her searching for and reaching only further out to Mizuki, even if the broken shards of glass will only cut her fingers, potentially leaving scars.
It's about how, in every way, subtly, directly, consciously, and subconsciously, Ena shows that she fucking cares.
It's about the way that Ena lets Mizuki have autonomy, despite the situation being so horribly out of their control. And it's such a delicate thing: If she really wants to, Mizuki can take the opportunity to just run away, keep running forever, repeat the cycle over and over, and maybe she'll just destroy herself with it again, but it can't be denied that it's something important to them, something she can't quite live without just yet, their means of survival. Mizuki's autonomy is their identity, it's her tailoring her own clothes and choosing her own ribbons and styling her own hair the way she does. Ena letting them have that is as much about trust as it is about understanding that Mizuki of all people should have this right, when control was something stripped from her throughout so much of her life. She couldn't control how she was born, how people look at her or why, can't control what they think of her; lacking control has only left Mizuki vulnerable to the cruelties of others, has only caused them to suffer, which is why it's so important that it's given to them now.
She had the control to make the choice to see niigo's welcoming love and run away instead of staying, and she has the control to make the choice now whether she wants to keep things the way they are or take a step forward to be at their side again. She has every right to have it, and I think the fact that Ena realizes and respects that, even if it's subconsciously, is really beautiful (there is an entire fucking Verse about this in the new song and just. God Look at this. It's so caring, unconditional, and for fucking What. I think there is something to be said about how much Ena is willing to put aside for Mizuki, and maybe deep down it isn't healthy, but for now I'm just kind of in awe)
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It's about how insanely patient Ena has been this whole time. Mizuki says that she basically lied to Ena's face about telling her their secret, even after Ena said with such conviction that she would wait for Mizuki as long as it takes, and Ena is just kept waiting and waiting and worrying like this seemingly indefinitely. It's about how Mizuki danced around it, avoided it, kept the distance, straight up ran when she was finally pushed, but Ena still chased anyway when she saw that she couldn't wait anymore, kept chasing just enough to intervene and get a straight answer out of Mizuki when she really needed to, but still leaving her enough space to leave if that was truly what she wanted. It's about how relieved Ena is the moment that Mizuki finally says outright how much they want to be with her and niigo, how much she wants to try, how much more light Ena's voice sounds when she grabs her hand, relieved, the way that the relief she feels can be felt through the music, throughout the entirety of Yoka ni Mitoreta, the way that warm colors always follow her when she chases after Mizuki, just to hold onto her and stop her from running away completely.
It's about how that careful combination of Ena's directness, Ena's persistence, Ena's warmth, her patience, her bluntness about her feelings, the way she chases and holds on but not too tight and her regard for how unsafe and exposed Mizuki feels actually works and breaks it all down. It's about how she really did reach through to Mizuki, despite the thorns and broken glass shards and nearly-unfulfilled promises, the way that Mizuki did finally let her turn the door handle and step through to see what she'd been hiding all this time, the way that Mizuki's hand, limp, when Ena first grabs onto it, shifts to hold hers back as they cry in the face of Ena's gentleness.
Despite how harsh Mizu/Ena5, and even Ena herself as a character can be (or at least was in the very beginning of pjsk), everything is somehow gentle and warm in the end, blindingly so. And you know what, I think that's beautiful. And what's even more beautiful than that is how Mizuki allows themself to crumble and shatter under that kindness, that warm light, but this time, finally, out of relief.
On a final note, I just want to say that I also appreciate how all that didn't have to solve everything. The scars haven't disappeared, haven't gone away, and Mizuki knows that their desire to run hasn't gone away forever, and maybe it never truly will. But for now they've calmed it, at least a little. She's learning to allow herself to be seen, learning that when someone's fingertips brush over their scars the way Ena's did that it's only out of care, and that maybe taking in that care and allowing herself to feel kindness and safety is okay. They're safe, for now, somehow. They're learning. They're trying. And I think that's cool :)
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poorly-drawn-mdzs · 6 days ago
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In Regards To Your 2024 Summary:
Holy shit it’s been another year????? The hell?????
Also! Your art style is gorgeous and that being found in 2023 and then refined throughout late 2023 and the entirety of 2024 really shows, as does your growth in panel layouts, perspective, and — as you said — experimentation. If you ever post your animation or video game art I’m looking forward to it.
As cheesy as it sounds, being able to laugh at funny comics and look at all the details of your art really made my 2024 brighter, even when things were hard. Including looking at your older art— it doesn’t need to be new to be enjoyable! I’m glad your art is well loved and it’s a privilege to have been here since the (near) beginning. I hope you take care of yourself in 2025 and beyond!
You and your art bring a lot of people a lot of joy never forget that <3
Thank you so much for keeping up with my art journey throughout these last two years! Two years!!! I am baffled at how that feels both too long and too short!
Admittedly, my art summary didn't manage to capture the fact that I did a lot of comic layouts that I'm really proud of. I also drew more backgrounds and made some very detailed works (*Dungeon Meshi spoilers for these examples*).
The growth is lot more evident when comparing my 'best' comics of 2023 to 2024:
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Sometimes the growth is vertical, sometimes it is horizontal - and damn, sometimes it goes out of sight into the Z-plane. But it is always happening!
#art summary#ask#The privilege is honestly mine; to be able to create comics and have had people rooting me on since the beginning really means a lot.#To everyone who the potential I couldn't and continues to stick around: Thank you so very much.#I cannot emphasize enough that I do see you. I do notice those who regularly like/reblog/comment.#I notice when people who haven't been around come back and mass like/reblog posts.#There are some people who have only *ever* liked my posts or have only ever lurked! I notice! I am so thankful!#At the risk of also sounding cheesy; I'm honestly happy to give back whatever I can to my audience.#Knowing I have brought people a little bit of joy to their day with my silly comics makes every long night worth it.#I probably make a longer post about it in the future; but last year when I made my first comic redraw-#-was the same day I got the news that someone very beloved to me passed away. I was in such deep grief I couldn't respond to comments.#But I still read them and I mean this earnestly; even though I was smiling through tears -#everyone's kind words truly helped make a pretty dark month a lot brighter. I probably would have crumbled without the support.#What really gets me is this: it was never directed at trying to cheer me up. It was just earnest kindness towards a stranger making comics.#If you've ever wondered 'hey does PD-MDZS know how much I appreciate their silly comics?'#know I have also sat here and thought 'Hey does this person know how much I appreciate seeing them in my notifications?'#Which also includes you! Mina BNHA you will always be associated with the cool person who's been rooting for me B*)#I wish everyone a wonderful new year; may all our creative endeavors be something we see as an exciting discovery.
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starflungwaddledee · 1 year ago
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from: @starflungwaddledee to: @post-it-notes7
message from santa: "happy holidays post-it-notes! 🎄🥳 i know you very politely only wished for a few modest things- characters high fiving, or struggling in christmas attire- but i hope you'll still enjoy this given that i kinda went the opposite direction entirely! i'm an enormous fan of your work and most times you post anything i wind up browsing your art tag from tip-to-tail in enraptured delight. as such, i thought it was only fair i give back something a little more significant in gratitude for all the joy your work has given me. i knew i wanted to do a comic, so i was thrilled you already had a whole storyverse for me to work from!! this scene seemed the most obvious choice (chapter 8 of "wishful thinking" on ao3) given that i enjoy a dramatic fight scene 😂 i tried to stick as beat-by-beat to the writing as i could and worked in as many details as possible; i hope it'll be fun to see it envisioned this way! merry christmas! ~starflung 🎀🔔 "
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2aceofspades · 1 year ago
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This is like...one of the best feelings no lie
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It happens sometimes and it makes me feel so so happy <3 <3 <3
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daughterthethird · 3 months ago
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This time on: "Daughter Impulsively Does a Thing", local catgirl believes she could write a fanfic despite having literally zero experience in the writing department
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canisalbus · 1 year ago
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Religious trauma anon again! Im genuinely serious when i say hes been a major sort of comfort, especially as someone who has one side of family that is catholic, and the other evangelical. The imagry you use is fantastic especially in your more thematic and symbological pieces, i love picking out the different aspects like where bandages and wounds are placed, what kind of background may be going on, the colors and the emotions associated with them, etc. Even if its not all intentional, its good food
.
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dead-rabbit-comics · 14 days ago
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reading through a weaving book again i looked at last maybe 6 years ago (library)
and am now at a point where i can gather a lot of the interesting information presented in it
but also where i notice the many mistakes made. some of these drafts are just wrong, there's legends that were forgotten in translation and whoever did the charts must've been colourblind - it doesn't help that all the colours have names like "steel" or "autumn" which i think is just not committed enough, if it were "new steel beams in shy sunlight on a frosty morning at a construction site on a weekend" or "a cheaply printed red that was supposed to be festive but would look better gently applied to soft cheeks" or "the color of my greatgrandmas heart as seen by her first child" it wouldn't be any more helpful but at least i'd enjoy it more.
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itstheheebiejeebies · 8 months ago
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Me: I need to get stuff made for the upcoming weeks of the rewatch
Also Me: makes shit completely unrelated to the rewatch over and over again
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hongluboobs · 2 months ago
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book reader i have a copy of dream of the red chamber (volume 1) that ive been trying to get through for over a year how do i motivate myself to finish it
I'm recently coming out of a half a year ish period of not reading very much so trust me when I say the lack of motivation comes for us all. I think I have some tips for how to motivate reading in general+ some for DOTRC specifically :)
(Real quick, I assume because you mentioned a volume 1 you're talking about the Hawkes-David translation published by Penguin in five volumes under the name 'The Story of The Stone'. This is the translation I read through, and it's the one I see recommended most to english speakers looking for an enjoyable reading experience, so to any other prospective readers of this novel I HIGHLY recommend reading this translation as opposed to any other ones. I don't know if I need to say this or if it's well-known to seek out that version, but because Hong Lu's canto is coming up I want to make sure anyone interested in reading through the source material can have the best experience possible with it👍)
It's important to remember that reading is a hobby, and the best way to keep going with it is to make it a habit. Unfortunately, this means forcing yourself to read sometimes, but it comes easier the more you do it. The trick is: it doesn't have to be a lot of reading.
The hard part for me is really just picking up the book and starting to read. Normally with books I like to set a goal of a chapter or so per day, but because this book has longer chapters that wasn't always feasible for me, especially if I had stuff to do. But once I had the book in my hands and started reading I would usually go above my goal I had set :)
Last year a lot of my DOTRC reading was done while I was waiting in line for things, getting/eating food, waiting on the bus, or killing time between classes/during boring lectures (I don't know if I'd advise that last one). This is moreso once you get in the rhythm of things, though.
Another tip is sometimes the format is the thing to stop me. I don't know if you're reading from a physical book or an ipad/kindle/etc or a computer or what, but sometimes I read better on my laptop than other things because it's Always Around. Sometimes I don't feel like grabbing a book or I don't have it with me, but my laptop's already open and I'm bored so maybe I'll do a little bit of reading instead of scrolling social medias. Lately, i've been jumping between my laptop and kindle for reading (laptop for convenience, kindle for portability and reading before bed at night) but I've gone between physical books and digital devices before. (If you want the epub versions of dotrc, I'd be willing to share them as well. The only difficulty is page numbers change between reading formats so I can only really switch at the start of chapters or if I skim to where I last was.
Something that saved me while reading DOTRC specifically (as well as other sinner books) was having a place I could discuss/"liveblog" the book. These books can get LONG and the reading experience varies from "really interesting and compelling" to "oh my godddd I do not need 20 pages of Outdated Whale Facts right now". (no offense to Moby Dick. I'm only slandering that one because I read the whole thing and in spite of enjoying it I understand why there are SO many abridged versions around.) It's kind of just the classic lit experience to deal with these types of things, but it's a lot more tolerable to me if you can talk to other people about it.
When I read DOTRC I didn't have anyone else reading with me, but just having a place to tell people about all the things that happen in this book helped me to keep track of events and characters. It also motivated me to keep reading so I could tell The People what happened next. Having someone else read with me would probably have helped as well, but it's hard to sell people on reading a 5-volume behemoth of a novel with so much stuff in it it has it's own field of study dedicated to it.
You can really yap anywhere. I have a channel in my Limbus Discord dedicated to the books so I don't drive everyone insane with my rambling and it seems to have helped some of my friends get through some of the other books as well so I think this method is a pretty solid success? You could also pretty easily do it just in someone's DMs if they're already familiar with the book (this has the bonus of them potentially being able to clarify things for you and help you get a deeper understanding of the book) or even yapping on a tumblr sideblog or empty notes doc or something.
So TL;DR:
Picking up the book is the hardest part. Reading a little is better than not reading at all.
Subjecting your friends to this book will make it easier to keep going :)
Also: for Dream of the Red Chamber specifically: the book starts slow. I don't know how far in you are, but so many people drop it early. I started reading it during a 12-ish hour car ride and that might've been the play because i can see people getting bored during the first few chapters. It definitely picks up though, so trust me when I say it gets a lot easier to read as you keep going. Chapter 5 is an incredibly interesting chapter, and from there I find things pick up and start going faster. (It helps that chapter 5 is pretty relevant for the direction I think Limbus is going to take canto 8 in!) The later volumes were able to go by a lot faster for me than the earlier ones as well.
This is a long ass book, but it's gonna be a while before Hong Lu's canto drops and we get to Witness that Surrender. Or Surrender that Witness. I'm not actually sure. But regardless, you've got plenty of time to get through it, even if you're a slower reader or don't have much time to dedicate to reading. Steady progress is the name of the game for stuff like this.
Worst case, you've killed a bunch of time during the wait for Hong Lu's canto (because oh boy, I have a feeling this one's gonna be a wait) and you are able to gain a better appreciation for canto 8 by understanding some of the nicher bits of how it adapts stuff from the source.
Best case, you really enjoy reading it and end up like a bunch of the Hong Lu fans I know who were permanently changed by reading this book and started reading scholarly analysis of it for fun (or start seeking out every adaptation of it you can find, or read the book 5 times over... I am coming to realize this book does something to people.)
This book is legitimately incredibly good, even outside the context of me reading it because I was very invested in that beautiful cyan freak from a game I like. I might not have been able to get through it without Limbus providing me the push to keep going on days where I really didn't want to read, but it's a legitimate interest of mine now I will seek out information on regardless of its connection to Limbus! Trust me when I say it's worth getting through even if it feels hard or tedious.
(and if it helps- a solid amount of the stuff I feel is most likely to be Limbus relevant happens near the end of the book. There's so much in this book so things that could be relevant are scattered throughout almost all of it, but I've been picking up so many end of the book vibes from stuff we've seen lately. so you've got to get there!!)
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medichamcham · 4 months ago
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Very normal about the fact that you've suggested Rose twirling his hair as a nervous trait. Because it's both silly as a gesture but 100% makes sense, down to that one loose strand being curlier than the rest of his hair because he bothers it so much <3
YESYESYESYES hehehe its his built in stim toy. :3c i adore thinking about his hair twirling so much!!! i think its not just something he does when he's nervous, it's also the physical equivalent of saying "like" or "uhm" for him,,, the hair noodle is Essential!!!!!
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chocmuffinsscones · 11 months ago
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Kacchan is actually so, so loved.
His mom is right, he's a brat cuz he quickly got over his head when he was constantly praised by people around him. His parents must've love him so much with how well he physically is - healthy, clean, unbruised. Probably not a popular opinion but I think his mom treating him aggressively is a way to tone him down, to remind him of manners that he might've slipped from being too pompous. And also, it's an asian thing, ESPECIALLY in Japan where senpai-kouhai/elderly hierarchy is strongly regarded.
Still, Katsuki always demands attention like he doesn't have enough of it. He used to aim for being no.1 to gain attention where it'll feed his ego. Even with his obnoxious behaviour, he always had a pass cuz he IS talented, smart and very gifted. People allowed his atrocity cuz they believe he can still contribute to the hero society.
But Katsuki has a way to seek love that he truly yearns and needs. Maybe it's another gifted kid syndrome or an instinctual thing, that he could feel he is so loved in a way he was not expecting. The people who only sees him on the surface aside, Katsuki was constantly showered under the kind of love that is very forgiving, patient, and positive of his coming around. Aizawa, kirishima, his parents, AM, Izuku...
Aizawa and AM regard Katsuki in a similar fashion as his parents did, acting as a guidance that sometimes switching between being strict or encouraging. Kirishima was slightly special because he was the first one to accept his foul personality and would still praise and be amazed by his ability. To me, Katsuki must've value the gratification of someone acknowledging his entirety and would still respect him as well as give him fuel to his ego. Kirishima is passionate of integrity and righteousness. He's quite open-minded and is pretty forgiving, thus forming a suitable concoction of personalities that matches Katsuki's kind of "love" he grew accustomed to.
However, if it all comes to that preferences, why did he reject Izuku's "love" when kirishima's worked but not his? To be fair, Izuku's "love" for Katsuki is pretty much similar as to his parents' as well as kirishima's. But since the river incident, Katsuki's young mind has decided to antagonised that alien kind of love which he was going to get used to (from his parents) anyway. Because receiving that sort of acceptance and appreciation from a child his age kinda oppose the idea of him being special. Little Katsuki was building up a reputation of being the best and the most unique kid in the neighborhood , if he acknowledged Izuku's recognition of his "front", it would meant he wasn't really that special after all. Little Katsuki couldn't have that, and so it brought forward to their entire childhood until UA, rejecting that obvious, his preferred type of "love" that he labeled as disgusting due to their antagonistic relationship.
That's why after dvk2, when Katsuki has finally confronted that impulsive naivety he held onto, he became unconsciously openly seek out Izuku's "love" to him. He loves being seen and appreciated the right way, the way that reminds him of his humanity, that keeps him grounded, that asks his self-awareness of his capabilities and therefore pushes him becoming better every time. Izuku was different from Kirishima because Katsuki had never level himself with him the way he did with Izuku - notwithstanding the whole rivalry on win to save, save to win thing. Also, the simple fact that their familiarity of one another's traits are what keeping them tightly enveloped in an indissoluble bubble of intimacy.
Katsuki demands attention like a brat. He craves attention and love from where he seeks. As prefaced, he has preferences and that he categorised them. It's interesting though that due to his immature obstinacy, he had created a situation where he is now forcing himself in a state of overcompensation towards Izuku's year's worth of "love" towards him. (He knew he was truly at fault, and he knew Izuku still accepts him nonetheless (i.e dvk2), but the way he tried to keep a distance between them to maintain their norm is, in actuality, not normal. Counting in the fact that at the same time he still craves Izuku's "love" when he self-inserted as the one to pull the leash.
Tsk tsk, Katsuki truly is a child raised by love.
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chronurgy · 5 months ago
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reminding myself that I can make it through the next few weeks because after this is all over I get to spend four days living in the natural history museum and have a month to read some good books
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loppiopio · 1 year ago
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i've been sitting on this post for a few days now and it's literally just, me making assumptions about kudos i've noticed on fics lately (particularly aci since i've been checking that fic every week for book club these past few months) and this'll make me seem more insane than i already come off but by this point. how much lower can i go?
just going from top to down as of today.
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[ShibaLee] i know you from your art on here!! tumblr user shibaleeart i'm happy to see more people in potentially enjoying the stories this fandom has to offer :>
[reiscm] shizuchansmilk?? what are youuu doing here? i didn't know you read shizaya fic tbh and i was surprised to see you here suddenly, relatively recently too. does that mean you just started the fic then?? after at least a year of being in the fandom right? maybe this wasn't from your first time reading it (same) but at the very least it shows you visited it not too long ago… i may be delusional in thinking i could be a contributing factor there because, why now? it's not like i'm the only aci advocate out there but i've probably been the most vocal about it around this time soo… well whatever it is, hope you had fun with it! i'm so curious what drrr comedian shizuchansmilk thinks about hit fanfiction a cheap imitation 👁️
i'm also recognising some of the other names around here like [anonymooose] and [durarasaiki] even though i haven't the faintest idea who they might be. i've just been seeing them lately across different shizaya fics which probably means these are the people doing their shizaya fic dive around this time. i have nothing more to add there i just, think it's cool noticing the same names across fics like yeah, we all feasting on the shizaya tag rn.
[ya_boi_twink] it took me a second to recall where i'd recognised your name from and then it hit me. i knoooow you! tumblr user yaboitwink in my notifs… i appreciate you, and i'm glad you liked the things i made for it c:
[bun_o_ween] oh i know you're here because of mr crapo. i hope you guys had fun with it! i wanna take the chance to also admit that like. the moment i found out you were that sebastian writer i experienced the wildest sense of deja vu. because. i had seen your name on ao3 before. but when i checked your fics there was no way i'd read a fic from you?? so then i realised i must have recognised you... through other kudos on other fics??? dude. i must sound crazy, i have no way of proving this because i actually don't remember what fics these were i just vaguely remember it was either bsd or tgcf? that i was looking at fics for, trying to find something to sate my hunger at the time. and i just remember, noticing your name across like a few of these fics in a row and thinking "heh someone else has been going down the same rabbit hole" AND NOW I SEE YOU AND CRAPO OF SHIZAYA FANDOM HITTING IT OFF it was surreal. like. my awareness of you had zero to do with black butler, i could not have predicted that you would have been the random ao3 user i'd seen apparently enjoying some of the same fics i was not too long ago. wow.
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there are like two separate flamingo related names around here [niceflamingo] and [flamingoo] which doesn't mean anything but for some reason they are standing out enough for me to want to mention them. i feel like i've seen ao3 user flamingoo in the kudos of some other fic before but idk.
[Luzki] omg hey!! twitter artist vi_138_ woah hiii funny seeing you here :0 especially like. not so long ago? since i'd imagined you would've been aware of the fandom for a while since you seem more invested in the alts than shizuo and izaya in particular? well it was cool seeing that you'd read this one, i hope ya had fun!
[frogsarefriends] right under that is artist hallucxnating >:O i know they've read the fic already but it was cool to actually recognise their kudo down here, especially since it's like. not recognisable just from the name alone, but you've shared links to this ao3 as your writing so now i know it's you. my impression is that you came into the fandom through slavhew since, i'd connected the dots at some point that you two were friends which. made a lot of sense since i noticed you both started being active around here at the same time lol. but hey!! welcome to the club :D
[7FlyingPancakes7] this is one of the ones i'd noticed earlier on during book club, i distinctly remember checking a chapter while walking home one night (because i do that i guess) then BAM what the hell?? i just see tumblr user mari-lair's ao3 appear down there, totally out of nowhere for me. for context this was a writer from the tpn fandom i recognise from like 4 years ago? idk it's been a while, i didn't talk to them much but they were active in the fandom at the time so i'm familiar with their name. i haven't been keeping up with them but last i'd seen they seemed to be into tbhk with no indication as far as i was aware that they'd shown any interest in shizaya. nothing wrong with that it was just unexpected, so i was just like woah!! how did you get here? i am so curious how they may have come across this fic, was it some rec from a friend? how familiar are they with shizaya? how invested were they in the story and characters? enough to go down more of shizaya's greatest hits? anyways, that was just a fun little small world moment for me.
[psych0tastic] hey isn't this…. axietoh? like, the artist who used to draw shizaya like 5 years ago? what are they doing here so high up the list? 🤔 i have no clue lol i still follow them because i really like their art style but i hadn't noticed their interest in shizaya resurfacing... i suppose they just haven't been too active on these socials in general. anyways their name stood out to me and i was like, wait….. well it's a shocker seeing their name so high up here, were they reading this fic for the first time there or were they revisiting it and happened to have not kudo'd it until then? well anyways, it's nice to see they've revisted the fic within the last two years at least :0 that's cool to me.
[MiyukiWynter] dude i was feeling crazy just now trying to figure out where i'd recognised this name from because i'd swwooooorn i'd seen it from somewhere like as someone on twitter?? i think i was mixing them up in my mind with unrelated (as far as i'm aware) twitter user miiyankhr but turns out they're someone who's fics i've seen in the tags before. i haven't read them myself but apparently they just posted a new one two days ago so that's crazy.
[Dodomka] heyyy it's dodo from twitter, hellooo 👋 they've been the biggest supporter for my deep in the sauce fic tweets and for that i appreciate them very much :3 didn't expect to see them here tbh i wasn't aware of when they'd first read the fic but as i was expanding the list a few times to write up this post i noticed their name here and just thought that was neat. shout-out to them!
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[mochi010] there's a user named mochi that has shown up in my twitter notifs somewhat regularly and they have nothing on their account so i have zero clue what they might be like outside from that they've been liking my shizuo and izaya retweets. their handle isn't even mochi so i have very little reason to believe this could be them but idk, maybe? no conclusion has been made here. well i already spent time writing and cleaning up the paragraph, guess i'm leaving it in.
shout-out to [ouiouipussay] and [ramenflavorpacketsnorter420] just for having some names that stand out lol. i don't recognise you from anywhere but, i guess now i will if i ever come across those names again.
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[Stupidusernamepolicy] i struggled to find you amidst all these names for the writing of this post 💀 had to ctrl+f that shit. but i remember seeing your name here while i was going through the list some days before and being like "oh hey!! it's slavhew :)" but okay there's actually a tangent i've been wanting to go on from here.
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outside of aci i've actually been noticing you and hallucxnating double duo'ing under some fics together, like after the story era which i'd reread after hallu reminded me of its existence in a reply, and also sacramental which i had reread because of your reply, lol. i find this quite funny, just like. this visual representation of you two reading and recommending fics with each other. then you talk about it on twitter and more people like me are visiting this fic too. chain reaction of sharing stories :)
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ALSO [anonymooose] and [durarasaiki] spotted down here in some of these kudos too!! that's craazy. wow. i tell you guys i'm recognising these names i'm not just crazy 😭
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[NotElectricT] this took me a second to dig up again since it's quite buried down that list at this point but the plan i'd had in mind for this post was to end on this one since i saw them kudo it right in front of me (through the vc stream) and i didn't think this post would get as long as it did but... well i already wrote it 😬 but yeah, this is my good friend note! check out this art they made for, still one of their favourite chapters, sharks fly. it's sandwiched in between some squid game au they made for a gift exchange for me..... it's a long story i don't wanna talk about it (embarrassing......)
but what i do wanna talk about!! is how note (referred to as "patient zero" regarding aci book club by the only other patient lol) just decided to read this fic completely of their own volition?? i didn't tell them to do that and for sure didn't expect them of all people to try reading it, ever (they're not really a fic reader) but they just did that, two years ago. and that was like, insane to me at the time because it's seriously so out of their depth guys they don't do enemies to lovers.... they still don't lol. but i was insane about this fic back then with no one to really be insane about it to so i just yelled about it to these friends out of context and i guess???? that was convincing enough to get this one to start the longest fic they'd ever read 💀
i had much fun having someone experience the fic i'd been insane over..... like i'm smiling about it rn thinking about the time i did a live reading of the chainsaw man (as i like to call him) chapter which was so fun i kinda forgot i had a hamilton musical i was supposed to watch that evening... that was awkward. and other chats we exchanged regarding the fic (they were reading chapters whenever they felt like it which i enjoyed because i like pacing these things out) but for some reason (i think things just happened around the time that disrupted the momentum) they never made it past chapter 26 😔 which was tragic to me but oh well....
well i'm am even more insane about this fic now because of this convoluted chain of events that gradually built and cascaded me towards whatever the fuck i'm doing now!! god. i've never made so much, anything, like ever. until now. because both note and rosa (who has not kudo'd this fic as far as i'm aware lol) made the decision beyond my expectations to commit to, a book club. which i organised. and i've been having a lot of fun! so much fun, there's all this wild "marketing" stuff i've been churning out in record fucking time by my standards. i've never felt so creatively fulfilled dude, never finished a thing in my life until these past few months. so that's awesome, and it's in large part because of note having committed to this fic again. so that's some of the story behind that one kudo haha.
and now we're at chapter 49, we're supposed to be talking about it tomorrow, which is today by now since it's 1 am but uhhhhhhh writing is so hard. i was supposed to just be cleaning up this draft i'd written like 5 days ago? i am now very hungry. there's actually more i'd drafted up from here just from more names i recognised as i kept expanding the kudo list that day buuuut i'm fuckeeeen cutting this off right here. i need to stop. the end.
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bluehattedapprentice · 1 year ago
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What if before he went to America, Luke somehow travels back in time 3 years, the day before he meets his mentor Professor Layton with all the memories of what happens after?
Introducing my timeloop au! where Luke is stuck going back in time 3 years the day he was to go over to America several times and promptly tries to "fix" things that had gone wrong originally. Unfortunately for him fixing one problem leads to others being formed and after a mistake gone wrong on his 5th loop- Luke decides it's time to put an end to it once and for all.
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now deeply curious after reading some comments on a related news article
(whether you get periods now or you got them 20 years ago...doesn't have to be current)
#idk if people will take to this poll but i'm so so curious#me personally...#i'm on birth control these days that largely stops my periods from happening (thank fuck)#and i tempt fate on the regular because i don't carry period products on me when i go out#i'll bring them with me if i'm going anywhere overnight#but out for the day? nope#it's not a smart choice because my periods do break through every so often and there's NO pattern#surprisingly it actually hasn't really bit me in the ass yet#i think when i had regular periods when i was younger then yeah i did experience this once or twice#thinking high school. definitely asked for help before#and i've offered help#anyway this is so deep in the tags i can now say#this article i read had people going i've menstruated for 30 years and never been caught out. it's YOUR responsibility to carry things on y#it's ridiculous to say that public facilities should carry them. that's learned hopelessness.#and i was like bitch what the fuck.#then of course there were the 'well if they're going to carry pads they need to carry condoms!!!'#or#'well if they're going to do that how about chocolate too?? what next??'#and there were 'if you know you're close carry products on you'#have you. never. in your life. been caught out.#AND OKAY. if you haven't. CAN YOU NOT IMAGINE THAT SCENARIO??? HELLO???#people have irregular cycles. people might unexpectedly need to change part way through a day.#sometimes periods fucking seem to stop and then hello they're back again a day later#sometimes you're at an age where they've stopped but then hello. months later it's back#sometimes YOU FORGET TO PUT PRODUCTS IN YOUR BAG. god forbid.#i'm so glad you've never had a problem. congratulations. good for you. but how about we fucking offer the help anyway. ffs
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medicinemane · 4 months ago
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Honestly a lot of the time, it's not even about people having to agree with me, it's about needing to know that they actually heard and listened to what I had to say even if it didn't persuade them
Just... some basic indication that there's enough respect to give a shit about what I said, and also to make sure that they disagree because they actually disagree and not cause they just didn't bother listening
It's all I really ask
#I forgot what this was about part way through writing about it; but then I remembered it's about Ukraine#like I just need to know that you actually understand what's happening there and what people are going through#you want me to care about your thing? show me you have any any any grasp of what's going on in Ukraine#it's uh... it's too many friends where if I'm just honest... this is about them#people I adore but people where... I don't know if they ever even once listen to what I have to say#...though maybe it's better this way... at least if they just ignore me I can say they just don't understand what's going on#that they're just being fed lines by other people or don't care#...if... they... knew the shit Ukrainians go through and still didn't care... would be a lot harder to respect them#would take a certain level of callous to do that and... these are people I care about very much so#...but I don't know; eats at me... you know#...and even on less serious topics... boy I wish you'd ever listen to me#if it weren't for the fact you say you like me... I'd be pretty damn sure you can't fucking stand me and I do nothing but annoy you#...I don't know if you've... ever... listened to anything I've said on any subject#when you do; you usually correct me... even though; brilliant as you are... you're erm... not always right#I don't get it... I don't get you... every word I say seems to be wrong... I'm so stupid and you're so smart#and yet you get real upset when I want to die... so you must actually like me and our communication styles don't match up#thank god you never seem to read my tags... or... much of anything else I say#truthfully I'd follow you anywhere; and you can treat me any way you want#but man I don't think my thoughts or opinions matter to you even a little... I think I just exist to be your rubber duck#...that's how it feels anyway#but all that aside... just wish you'd listen to me on Ukraine cause it actually matters#this post started out about some other people too... and sure... I like them well enough; and they're maddeningly wrong#like sputnik levels or wrong#drives me nuts; like you're not stupid and you're not cruel so why do you act so stupid and cruel?... turn you brain on#but uh... I actually just don't care about them that much#where as you... I could put it into words... but I won't#it's just a shame... like forget any of the stuff about me; it's just you're so kind... wish you'd care about what's going on in Ukraine#...I gotta stop or I'll go on all night; and I'm already too tired#mm tag so i can find things later
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