#thank you for your patience 🙏 i am so scared

[nesscel]

after what feels like 5 years i managed to draw my blue lock ocs ^_^ info is in read more

(⚠️ warning for brief discussion of self harm, child abuse, bulimia and suicide)

Cyril Niemir (Cyryl Niemir/シリル ニエミル)

Polish 1st generation immigrant and recovering hikikomori, 19 years old, BPD prince. He was born in Kocmyrzów (near Kraków) and currently lives in Tokyo. Occasional photographer for promotional Blue Lock material and Anri’s errand boy, otherwise a NEET.

The youngest of 6 children (2 brothers, 3 sisters) born in an incredibly religious family. Since early childhood he’d have frequent emotional meltdowns and bouts of auto-aggressive behavior, eventually developing a morbid obsession with death and suicide in elementary school. This lead to him spending 8 torturous years in a christian boarding school for girls to “fix his attitude”. He ran away to Japan after graduating high school and suffered an extreme mental breakdown right after the move, which spiraled into a 5 month long depressive episode during which he’d only self harm, browse the internet and sleep.

As is the case for many useless pests with no ambitions and no future, the thing that finally got him back on his feet was finding an oshi. During a perfectly legal watch party of his favorite reality show, he became interested in a new contestant from Germany with pink hair and pronouns. He’s garnered some attention on Blue Lock twitter for his collection of Ness merch (which he calls “his shrine”) and the insane arguments he’d get into with Ness haters. You don’t see Ness superfans that often after all. He got suspended for promoting violence twice and ran away to reddit to moderate r/AlexisNess. It’s fun there... it’s not just Ness… it’s the r/stunfisk of Blue Lock Reddit :)

I don’t like talking about the yume shit. Please fill in the blanks yourselves. Thank you.

He has cheek piercings, a tattoo of two stars on his inner left hand above the wrist and a tattoo of a lighter with cute keychains on his left thigh. His prescription glasses are +1,5.

Sebastian Tsureo (セバスチャン 連尾)

Polish-Japanese 2nd generation immigrant born in Nagaoka (in the Chūbu region), 16 years old. Father is japanese, mother is polish. Their parents divorced when the twins were 6 due to creative differences, with Sebastian choosing to stay with their father.

To an outside observer, Sebastian dealt with half of his family suddenly going no-contact in a mature and healthy way. He didn’t get into trouble or act out at school, he got along with his classmates and often spent time with them outside of school, he practiced football with his dad before he was old enough to be eligible for his school’s football club, and devoted himself to improving his technique and synchronizing with his teammates when he eventually managed to make it onto the team. Despite his positive attitude in public, Sebastian was a resentful, wounded child with no healthy emotional outlet. He dealt with his anger and abandonment issues by seeking adrenaline, putting himself in dangerous situations (jaywalking on busy streets, exploring structurally unsafe abandoned buildings, practice fighting with his friends, etc.).

During his stay at a psychiatric hospital after a failed suicide attempt at the age of 13, Sebastian was introduced to art therapy. He was entirely opposed to it at first, stating that making gratitude collages and matching colors to his emotions was a “gay and useless” coping mechanism. Upon returning home and regaining access to the internet, however, he stumbled across a forum thread discussing guro manga and vent art, which sounded kind of like art therapy… but way more awesome. Aside from becoming the best football player he could possibly be, his new goal was to become the best body horror artist anyone’s ever seen! Unfortunately, or maybe fortunately, his ambitions have not changed much in the three years following his release from the hospital.

He was scouted for Blue Lock by Anri after his high school’s team won a prefecture-wide tournament.

Adrian Tsureo (エイドリアン 連尾)

Polish-Japanese 2nd generation immigrant born in Nagaoka (in the Chūbu region), 16 years old. Father is japanese, mother is polish. Their parents divorced when the twins were 6, after which Adrian chose to move out to Shizuoka with his mother.

Adrian didn’t have much trouble adjusting to life in a bigger city, particularly due to his great spatial awareness, but had issues socializing with his peers, being used to having his brother by his side. Anytime he mentioned the rest of their family to his mother though, she’d respond by telling him his father was a deadbeat who relied on her to survive and that his brother would probably grow up to be a criminal or the dead body school children find by a river and poke with sticks (this eventually evolved into “he’s probably in juvie already”).

As soon as he expressed an interest in football, his mother became possessed by the spirits of June Shannon and the mom from Dance Moms who didn’t know who Rosa Parks was. She treated her son’s football career like pageantry, intending to make him a star player no matter what. This involved rigorous training, a strict diet and making changes to his appearance in order to create “a personal brand”. He had to keep a tan complexion, by training outside during summer and using self-tanner during winter; his hair was dyed blonde and permed frequently, which eventually resulted in his natural hair starting to fall out around age 12 or 13, after which he was forced to wear a wig (the green hair in the drawing is his natural hair after regrowth, he stopped wearing the dumbass wig as soon as he left for Blue Lock, he wears a hat because he’s kind of embarrassed by its state). Stewing in the hatred he felt not only for his mother, but also his dad and brother for “not rescuing him”, he began coping by overeating at school and on his way home, the only times when he wasn’t around his mother or coach, then excessively training or vomiting to avoid punishment (so… bulimia).

He was scouted for Blue Lock by Anri, who found his use of defensive tactics as a striker interesting.

The twins’ heartwarming reunion took place in the Blue Lock cafeteria during second selection, with them having a violent physical altercation, airing out 10 years of unresolved, bottled up anger and resentment. Their patience was tested again when they both chose Team B during the 3rd selection, with the two having progressively more violent fights in the common areas. After Sebastian managed to nearly break Adrian’s nose, both of them were reprimanded by Anri personally, told that if they caused any more issues they’d both be kicked out of the Blue Lock program, and subsequently moved to team A and C.

Their relationship slowly began to turn around after a particularly awkward conversation about their family lives in a Blue Lock bathroom stall, where Sebastian accidentally walked in on Adrian purging. They officially reconciled on the benches in the middle of the Blue Lock vs U-20 match, with nobody paying attention to them because they were all watching Rin and Sae. As a sign of their newly-developed friendship, they both joined Barcha as a striker (Sebastian) and goalkeeper (Adrian). Their first shared goal is to finally make friends! ^_^ They go about this by just sort of staring and grinning at people.

As a treat for reading, here are snippest of their egoist bibles with the most important info. I can tell you’d be devastated if you didn’t know who was team mushrooms and who was team bamboo.

Cyril / Sebastian / Adrian

[lostinlovingrevery]

Logan howlett being gross please 🙏🙏

I so badly wanted to answer this all day but I was busy so thanks for your patience!! I may end up writing an actual drabble of him being nasty BUT since it's 10 and I need to be up by 5 am tomorrow I'm gonna give some headcanons out to keep you freaks (lovingly)(im a freak too otherwise i wouldn't be writing this) satisfied. Love you guys <3

if there's anything specific you want me to talk about, feel free to send an ask!

(logan judging me for putting his nastiness out there)

NSFW stuff under the cut. Beware. some of it's gross. :)

Lets start with what I said in that one post

Yes, Logan would fuck himself in every part of you if you let him

personally not big on anal myself but if you guys are down for that, he would definitely like to try it.

I think it's less of getting himself off or being attracted to it, like your elbow or knees

its more of being able to claim you more ways than one, his animalistic instinct REALLY kicks in on this. Scents probably play a part on this

IF you let him do the things he wants, you're gonna get treated SO GOOD afterwards, believe me. Satisfying his urges in the weird ways he gets em? You're an actual fucking angel to him

I've mentioned foot jobs before. I think honestly the foot job is probably what started this whole thing. It's a body part he never considered getting off from. It's until you guys were in your bedroom, hes walking around naked fresh from the shower and you get playful, reaching your feet out and messing with his cock. He was surprised how hard it made him and then when he cums he's like... "Now what else can I get off on?"

I almost mentioned scents. Logans so big on scents yall we established this. You smelling like him, him smelling like you.

When you're a little more settled in your relationship, he may start making comments on how good you smell after workouts, sex, etc. Its the pheromones man

You don't think much until you catch him straight up inhaling your workout clothes one day

He's a bit flustered over it

claims he didn't know what he was doing (he did) and that he was just getting ready to do laundry (he was not) (he went straight to your laundry with the goal of smelling that shit)

PANTY SNIFFER

Loves your panties and bras the most. Definitely will keep your used panties here and there. he does it discreetly, confidently. He's not so ashamed for you to find him sniffing your panties.

Nasty making out. big fan of this

he wants you both practically drooling into each other. can and will spit in your mouth and wants you to do the same

will make out with you with his cum in your mouth. He doesn't like his cum it's just the fact of it's you mixed with him.

He'll love it if you have each others essence and make out like that too.

It's not every time but sometimes he'll just get these urges to make you both messy as hell. spit and cum, hickeys, scratches etc etc

I've also said this before but period sex period sex period sex

He does not fucking care

Makes him a lil wild actually. Might scare you a bit.

If you initially don't want to do it, he'll leave it alone and eventually get needy enough he'll find excuses and then he founds out sex can help relieve periods and he's like

"I'm just tryna make you feel better baby"

When you finally give in his ecstatic

he will def be careful though. He truly doesn't want to hurt you. He's just a needy lil thing for you

Eating. you. out on your period.

I know, it's gross. But so is he.

The first happens on accident. He tastes it while eating you out and immediately recognizes it. he doesn't stop and doesn't tell you

You realize it when he finishes and looks up and his face is covered in blood

quite frankly you're horrified

he didn't care. just goes and washes himself up and you as well.

You're gonna need to change the sheets though. Logans a messy eater

He will eat and drink food from your mouth

you're telling him "oh Lo! Try this pie its SO good-" as you put the fork in your mouth and you're about to give him a piece and feed it to him and he insteads grabs you by the back of your neck and sticks his tongue in your mouth and tastes it that way

It shocks you (and turns you on)

"Yeah baby, it is good." he chuckles as he smacks his lips and walks away leaving you dumbfounded and a bit horny

(you're just like)

will get so nasty about fucking you too like the dirty talking

"Your pussy so fucking tight and wet. Sucking me in and everything."

"You fucking love how I taste don't you? All that cum and sweat. dirty girl."

"my cum tastes good in you baby"

"cmon, taste how good you are darling"

Ive mentioned about him going into a trance after he cums on you

he's cummed inside you and now staring at it leaks out of you

he's pushing it back in and trying to keep it all in you

doesn't even hear you whining over it

he starts spreading it all over you. it just looks so good painted on your pretty pussy

like i said this man adores you and that means ALL of you

will drool during sex

you're just going at it and you guys hit a point where your mindless and fucking

you feel so good and he can't even think straight. acting purely on instinct and you feel his drool on your back. You look back and his mouth is hanging open and his eyes shut and he's thrusting into you over and over, completely contorted in pleasure

lets talk a little about some other stuff

logan keeps up his hygiene of course. brushes teeth. washes his ass. he may consider himself an animal but he's not gonna let himself go. he IS from the 1800s yknow

but he runs like a heater and can and will sweat

esp with all those fucking layers

sweaty dick and balls. nuff said. hope you enjoy that

his natural musk is strong as hell. honestly though to you it'll smell really really good

leaks a lot of precum when he's horny.

his hairs insane though. So much hair. Its' gonna get in your mouth

actually even if hes groomed it's still gonna get in your mouth. he has a lot of hair

Enjoy nasty logan! <3

[unhinged-summer-fun]

IM BACK AND I READ IT. These wo idiots hitting on each others like: PLEASE JUST FUCK ALREADY. No seriously like it’s so obvious from both sides y’all take one for the team one of you. Stretching while make full eye contact isn’t subtle 🤭. Don’t even get me started on the boxing bit like imagine if someone was coming up the stairs like what would they think is happening. All you hear is grunts (cuz she’s boxing) and Q yelling “C’mon. That’s it. Good girl.” and “Fuck yes. Don’t stop, show me.” THE KISS (to her knuckles ok ok). Osha’s do-something-stupid impulse is the best impulse she should indulge in it more often. Another kiss to the handdddd. Does he know you can kiss people other places? She’s gonna call him Qimir now ❤️‍🩹 also the manic energy of the spar was extremely well done, it really felt like you were in it. Ok it got serious again. Indara ratting on Sol feels so good. He can’t be trusted ever. Also I think it’s interesting that Vernestra was Qimir’s parent and exploited him to the point of injury and abandoned him because Sol did basically the same thing. Indara knows how similar Osha and Qimir are. Osha grew up in this place and was similarly exploited, injured, and tossed aside because she wasn’t useful anymore. Them teaming up is V’s worst nightmare and also thinking thoughts about canon Sol’s ending and this AU. Random but is this set in nyc? I’m thinking about the mayoral investigation going on rn. Ok ok now she has to go see him fight and try not to spill the beans. Why am I scared? Something feels ominous 😭

THANK YOU FOR THE EARLY POST. I was actually so happy to see it, it gave me sm motivation to finish up with work. I LOVE YOU TOO ❤️ thank you for writing I hope your jeans fits you perfectly and your pillow is cold on both sides 🫡

(this is from ch13 common grounds and now that 14/15 are up i am finally answering ty for ur patience ily aaaaa)

the two of them are seriously the hugest idiots everrrr like on his side, the only thing keeping him back is his sense of self-loathing, that he'll "dirty" her by making that first step toward her - bc until now he's been leading her to him and letting her choose to make those steps. on HER end, she's got a hundred thousand different reasons not to do this being screamed at her from anyone she talks to, so Osha is too inundated with things like Logic to make any horny decisions!! a tragedy.

i love your train of thought commentary it makes me so happy, it's my favorite kind of comment, like i'm going on an adventure with ur consciousness <3 your theories are also making me want to mobilize the sniper unit omfg like i love teasing yall with pieces of the truth and seeing everyone put the pieces together i'm LIVING FOR IT

as for ur question about the setting, i kind of get into the geographical setting some more in later chapters, but no this isn't an "on-earth" au. it's not necessarily in the GFFA, either. i am imagining it's the kind of story that could happen in "any" city so that's why i haven't given it a name. however, the "FDO" stands for the Federal District Orphanage, the Federal District being a district on the city-planet (ecumenopolis) of Coruscant (and where the Jedi Temple is!). outright calling the city "coruscant" is kind of a turn-off to me, though, so i'm just calling it "the city" and using generic names for streets, etc.

that said, starbucks and looney tunes and emoji and the black keys and walt whitman and brazilian jiu-jitsu and two-shot americanos and the concept of OSHA and calling one's calcaneal tendon "achilles" and teddy swims and .HEIC image files are also in this fic so it's not not an earth fic. LOL

thank u for my jeans blessings i am very very appreciative 😔🙏✨

and thank you for your ask and your lovely comment on 13!!

[mtnkat3]

12.58pm.

Whimpering softly moaning... squirming as I stand.. oh..f*ck...my loves..... you . . . . .feel me too? The good, the loving, the sexy... erotic.....

& the scared... the outta the loop frustration. The begging God to please end my prison nightmare.

To the thanking Him because many parts are done. But.. belligerent petulant bully is pissed off to owe me so much more than 1 penny.

To the know I'm...hungry... because I am in front of fridge & a swig of Hershey's made me cross my eyes... smile... thoughts... cravings.....

To the feeling you . . . . .

Stroke my hair.. my face.. like that.....

Whimpering softly.

Makes me desperately happy..

& crazy bonkers to end my nightmare.

.

But. the only way it can end earlier than 3.23.. is God breaking loose the chains hog & the adversary are weighing me down with. I know the only way he's gonna do that is for me to get all the dang packing & work done. But I need help to do so. More the support. God giving me energy & strength to ignore hog & just do it is me getting that to do 1 room per week. And that's a lot. [1280sq+full basement&garage.] But if God gives it to me & work from dawn to dusk it is doable. Barely. So.. fighting pain, depression, hog's...demotivating to not movement..

I need You . . . . .🎶

But ya'll know me & my warrior queen Tijgeress kat Phoenix spirit. You..... wouldn't love me if I let you do it all.

But I want Your love & respect more than I want to be rescued.

This is the last part of my battles, of the war. So yes, it's the hardest.

I want to prove to myself, to God, to you . . . . .

I am indeed worthy.. deserving.. & being Blessed beyond measure of the Gift of You . . . . . by God's Grace & Plan!!!!!

I work & will never give up!!!!!

I await because God's Plan & telling me to hold on daughter! Patience.

Strength. Fortitude. Endurance.

Believe.

Magic of God's Plan, Grace, Time, Reasons.

I am His warrior queen daughter.

Created by God.

For you . . . . .

My beloved Bears . Angels . . . . .

I wouldn't be a good warrior queen sub mate if I didn't do the work.

I let mom, hog.. control my life too long. I had those boots on my neck. It always kept me drowning..

Now it's time to soar... right into your..... arms...

...

And as per usual... God's in control. And took over this letter to you my loves.....

I think about you . . . . . Crave you . Want you . Alllll the time!!!!!

What keeps me ...motivated.. inspired.. focused.. & reminds me that I have a lot to atone & make amends for. I just.. feel like the years are my fault. And it's one of the huge cracks in my soul. I am working on me. To learn.. grow.. to learn how to forgive myself.

Again. God's Hands. He spilled these thoughts & feelings thru my thumbs. Shy grin.

I miss paper & nice pens! Ugh. But arthritis makes even this difficult.

Another thing I pray about. He's shown me so much..... does that mean I am more like Sarah & the magical things I've seen than the decrepit body my soul is struggling with now.....? I pray because I do not know.. I only know that I trust God. Implicitly.

And He has shown me to trust you . . . . . too.

Ok. I need to get back to it.

Blushing beet red bowing my head chewing lips

I gotta mess to swipe my slate clean of!

Hog. House.

Whimpering softly.

You . . . . . are my soul's precious priceless treasured Gift.

I will never take you . . . . . for granted.

I am..

Yours . . . . .

~Tijgeress kat Phoenix. ✝️🌺🐾🐯☸⚓🤓🙇‍♀️🙏🤲🌂🔗⛓🧰🧣🥾🏔🍋🥤📋🗓⚙⚒🛠⚖🔐🏗🧱🏰🗽🦅🕊🐯🐾🐐🦉🐢🐛🦋🌱🌺🌹🌻🌷🌳🌲🧶🧵🥧🥮🍯🍼☕🍫🍭🌰🍎🍑🍒🥨🥓🍳🥩⌚💡⚡🌟🌠🚀🗝🔱⚜💝🐻🦌🧩♠️♾🎯🧭🕯🎅🎄🎁🎀💓🎶💋

Sa.12.17.2022 1.48pm est.

[soulhealinggypsyblog]

This Thanksgiving, I am SO incredibly grateful to be out here living my best life. 🙏✨💗

It takes guts and courage to follow your dreams, especially when you take a leap of faith into the unknown. 😬 This path is no joke and may not be for everyone, but one that is so worth fighting for, if you ever find yourself in this position. 🙏✨💗

For those who may not know, I gave up a successful corporate job so that I may step into my purpose. Mind you, this transition was not in my 20s, but mid 30s. 🤦‍♀️ What was I thinking!? 😂 Crazypants, I know. 🤪

But truth is, I was just becoming who I truly am. Finding my way, as I truly open up to walking the path I was meant to walk, shutting out all of the noise and my insecurities. It was no easy feat and at times, I am still working on those insecurities!!...because, I am having a human experience after all...and a bit pig headed (stubborn) as well. 🤪 hehe

Thank god for my family, as their belief in me and my dreams has kept me going the past 5 years, as I have been navigating this transition, not to mention adding covid to the mix, for a little more fun. 😝

And to my many friends...some who I have known since HS or for what feels like a bazillion year and are like family, accepting me and saying "that makes sense" when I was scared to even tell them my truth. Some of them even holding me down through those "woah is me, my life is over" moments, 😂🤦‍♀️🙃 and the newer ones who have allowed me to be my authentic self, supporting me, as they too on some level could relate. 😜 I thank you!!! 💗 I am beyond grateful to have the beautiful tribe that I have in my life. They are truly a blessing. 🙏 Love you ALL!! 🤗

After 5 years of growth and expansion, contemplation, action, and a WHOLE LOT of patience 🤦‍♀️😂😁, I am finally out here starting to live out my passion - helping others to heal themselves. What a gift it is to be able to serve others! 🙏 It is truly my joy to do what I do and the fact that I get to feed my wanderlust soul at the same time, is truly a dream come true. ✨

Last but certainly not least, I want to thank the Universe - my DREAM team - which includes my guides, angels, and family out in the ethers and my earth angels and guides here on this plane of existence (my human mentors, dear friends and confidants who have been supporting me throughout this journey). I am grateful for our soul contracts and for you being in my life, helping me navigate my rollercoaster of emotions and life experiences. I truly appreciate you giving me the courage to be who I am, to help me open up to the expansive being I have become and what is yet still to come, and for always being my guiding light. ✨ I am incredibly grateful to experience each and every one of you in this way. It is truly an honor. 🙏

Though I try to always live in gratitude, I just wanted to take the time on this day of giving thanks, as I am currently in Kolkata (formerly Calcutta), India teaching my program, to acknowledge and to put into writing, just how grateful I am for this journey. For all of the good, for all of the hard, and for everything in between. All of it is truly a blessing. 🙏✨💗

If you have gotten this far, thank you!! Thank you for seeing me and for allowing me to be heard. 🥰 I wish you ALL a wonderful Thanksgiving!! 🤗🤗🤗

[cannafitshop]

Happy Mother's Day. I’ve been going through a lot. It’s been very stressful and I cry All the time. I know that crying is one of the best coping mechanisms to handle stress. I can't stop worrying about what the future holds. I've never been more sad or mad at life than I am now. It’s tempting to assume the worst when you’ve been wronged. Why do I feel so guilty? I am scared and tired. It's a lot of sadness going on in my mind. I'm trying to stay positive. How do you do your job as a mother when you are not completely there mentally? My mother had a stroke on January 20th. she's only 54 years old. I never imagine this will be my life right now. She is the strongest woman I've ever known. Seeing her lying in the bed just so helpless and only able to move her eyes. That shit broke my heart. Trying to stay positive. 🙏God, I thank you for my mother's life. Thank you for her womb that carried me. Thank her for raising me. Thank you for the love she showed me throughout my life. I pray that you bless her in her old age. Grant her a long and healthy life. Give her back all she lost raising me. Fill her heart with joy and laughter. Give her all her heart desires. Let her enjoy her old years. Take away her fears and burdens and fill her with everlasting peace and tranquillity. Motherhood is the greatest thing and the hardest thing. Being a mother is learning about strengths you didn't know you had, and dealing with fears you didn't know existed. Becoming a mother makes you the mother of all children. From now on each wounded, abandoned, frightened child is yours. Motherhood has taught me so much about life, my partner, and myself and the need for patience is definitely among my topmost important lessons. I don't know what I would do without my miracle babies. The miracle of life they call it, and it truly is a miracle. .⁣ .⁣ .⁣ .⁣ #happymothersday #iloveyoumom #mommy #mom #momlife #momsday #morhersday #mother #motherdaughter #motherhood #mothers #prayersforhealing #god #miracles #mothersdayflowers #cannabis #cannamom #motherslove #lovemykids (at Ridley, Pennsylvania) https://www.instagram.com/p/CdTthqRufVi/?igshid=NGJjMDIxMWI=