#thank you for the food gabi i will cry forever now

[salvatoreren]

I finally watched AOT's last episode and frankly, I am not okay, I have been sobbing a river oh my fucking god.

Anyways, it was really good, as expected of MAPPA anyway, I was pretty much crying the whole episode actually.

I have complaints, mostly because of the not included anime, little things like not having the flashbacks of Armin of reading a book in the rain, the squirrels etc. etc. I would have love to see them in the market and the way to the boy who sought freedom, goodbye was not implemented, I WAS WAITING FOR THAT COME ON

The anime only scenes were good too, like Levi giving food to the refugees, falco and gabi, i wish we saw their outfits tho, they slayed with that one.

the way they played 13 no fuyu, im killing myself, ive been listening to that shit since 2022 which mind you was when i was active once more in aot, the fucking flashbacks my god, that was so tragic RAHHH

i also saw aot's op, EREN WITH A BOW? EREN WITH A BOW!!! MIND YOU I JUST FINISHED WATCHING THE HUNGER GAMES SO IMMEDIATELY IM LIKE YES YES IT'S GIVING KATNISS EVERDEEN, WITH WHAT HIM BEING HUMANITY'S HOPE, ESP WITH THE FIRE COMING OUT OF IT FORMING A BIRD

THE SAME BIRD WE SAW ON S4 ENDING 1, oh my god, the opening was really cool omg, it perfectly showcased eren's journey, what he went through, despite being absent in the final chapters, it still showed Eren was still the protagonist...Which isayama did not understand when he made 139

Yes, I am bitter still with the ending, no, I am not hearing anyone out and no, I am not going to pour my disappointments with it STILL, here because yeah.

It's such a shame that's the last and final time we'll ever see it, devastating tragedy omg.

ARMIN AND EREN'S FINAL INTERACTION, IM GLAD THEY MADE THEM HOLD HANDS, THANK YOU MAPPA, PLS THE WAY THEY'LL BE TOGETHER FOREVER AND WILL BE WAITING FOR EACH OTHER IN HELL, GAGGED, IM DEAD, MY ROMAN EMPIRE FOR REAL

Now that's out of the way.

It's been a long and fun ride, regardless, the final season has been going for what three years, i've been with this series for three years, it was fun really it was, this series took such a simplistic and cliched approach then twisted into something more complex and truly gutwrenching. 2020 was nothing without AOT, in my opinion, watching AOT broadened my media consumption, yanked me into the anime world and i already have so many fandoms i'm in.

2020 was a hard time too, i couldn't have done it without this bloody series, god, i remember aboarding the train hype, everything was everywhere, fics, art, videos, memes etc. All those I read influenced my writing style, all those theories made me think more critically, those memes and videos of it made me laugh. It's funny how a series like this one comforted me so much.

I remember being so traumatized by the first episode i'm like who the fuck would ever like this series with this much blood and that night i immediately searched for eren fics because i was like who is this boy i like him, i fucking dreamt of the beast titan, all those nights racing with my sister who could finish the series first, i literally woke up at 4 just to watch it before she could.

Fucking terrified which of my favorite characters were going to die next, literally sobbing over armin's death, god and the mindfuck with Marley and Eldians and Subjects of Ymir in the fray oh my god.

Can I just say, I wouldn't be who I was without AOT? Even with my cynical behavior, it's all because of it.

2021 who i never fail to reiterate and think fondly is good because of AOT as well, I figured wow, the final season is coming back, I should rewatch it again and so the hyperfixation began, i was sick too, almost dying too actually, dengue is dangerous and it was just a fond memory because i was watching aot and i acted like i never had watch these scenes in my life and despite feeling like dying i felt okay.

I was so batshit crazy when part 2 came out, that was the one that was actually peak AOT don't lie, I was literally screaming like i was giving birth OVER AN OPENING AND AN ENDING, i'll never forget any of it.

When I cried watching the whole episode, it really just occurred to me that this is really the end for AOT, i was only ever able to go through it because I have the anime and it what really kept the whole fandom alive, the anime's honestly the reason why it had this many fans as you can see.

And again the way it's heartwrenching for it to just be a simple series and then it's full blown war, jean and reiner holding out to each other, remembering how they used to be close and comrades then betrayals and war happened and it's all ruined.

The devastating realization of seeing the last few panels animated, watching the end flash through the screen, realizing there was nothing out of this now, no more next episodes, no more hype, it's gone and it's so devastating because how happy it made you, the way you'll never see these characters again, only in rewatches or art. But it's not the same.

I admit I don't feel as hyperfixated over it now, after getting burnt out of it last year, even good things go badly sadly and i was just here for eren now, but doesn't change the fact this series has nurtured my quarantine, i grew up with this series even if it was only recent, who changed the trajectory of my life and had me find my paths.

I'll never forget these characters who made my life, who brought life to the story, even if they were just moved by the plot now, i'll always have a soft spot for AOT, i will always love it, regardless how much i hate it, there will always be fondness within it.

It's kind of weird, really to see Levi who has done so much to the fandom just by existing and being drawn and animated now cease to exist? I suppose, looking at him feels weird like imagine comparing 2014 levi to 2023 levi now omg, that's where you really begin to realize how much time has passed and how much AOT has evolved AGAIN JKSDHJ

well, i'm still on eren's side, still hate what happened to him but i'll always love him, he is such an important character to me, i don't think i truly ever loved someone like him despite representing the total opposite of me, he just had that charm i suppose, his views are so hauntingly beautiful, idealistic, him representing hope, despite what he did, in the end he did what he could for himself and for his people IN MY HUMBLE ONION

eren yeager i'll always love you

i'm kinda scared what would happen to this fandom now, will it die now? Will it live? I doubt, I haven't even finished my eren fic and lol, either way i hope someone will still enjoy AOT, i hope still there will be new watchers.

This is long but this is just how I really feelt about AOT which I wholeheartedly do love and cherish with all the memories and the pain it gave.

Thank you Isayama for this world, for these characters, for these mindblowing revelations about war, life and freedom, for the heartaches and the joy.

Thank you WIT for raising AOT and truly breathing life to it, for garnering fans for it to be more appreciated.

Thank you MAPPA for continuing WIT's legacy, you are not the same but still delievered, thank you for carrying the final season and the fandom on your back, may you sleep well and have your deserved pay.

Thank you for the voice actors who breathed those memorable lines to be used in edits.

Thank you Linked Horizon for coming back, aot was iconic because of your openings.

Thank you AOT for everything.

[purplesurveys]

1149

A

What is your age? 22, but there’s less than a month to go before I turn 23.

What annoys you? Literally every single person who still supports the government at this point. For context, we are back to square one and we’re under the exact same quarantine imposed in March 2020 because of the surge in cases. Nothing has changed and nothing has been done in the last 365 days while people are getting hungrier and poorer. I’m done feeling hopeful for this country and I cannot wait to abandon it forever.

Do you have any allergies? Apparently, grass. Can’t be exposed to it for too long otherwise the skin on my thighs turn red and occasionally even get rashes.

B

Do you know anyone named Billy? Kind of, but they’re girls with their name spelled as Billie.

When is your birthday? April 21st and spending it in quarantine once again this year...

Who is your best friend(s)? Angela and Andi.

C

What's your favorite candy? I like gummy bears and worms. As for sweets, I really like Reese’s Peanut Butter Cups, Butterfinger, Twix, and the Hershey’s Cookies and Creme bar.

When was the last time you cried? Maybe a day or two ago while watching a snippet from Caught in Providence.

Have you been out of the country? Yes.

D

Do you daydream? Not so much these days. I’ve been better at keeping my focus at work.

What's your favorite kind of dog? I love alllllll dogs, but I’d usually be wary of smaller dogs because 87% of the times I’ve met some, they’re aggressive or a bit moody. I don’t like stereotyping dogs as much as possible but because I’ve had direct experiences to back it up anyway, *shrug*

What day of the week is it? It’s a Sunday.

E

How do you like your eggs? Scrambled, poached, or an omelette with lots of fillings. Balut is also great.

Have you ever been in the emergency room? Only when I was born, I’m guessing.

What's the easiest thing ever to do? Idk, what comes easy to me might not be the same for others. But my answer would be to smile, regardless if it were genuine or otherwise.

F

Have you ever flown in a plane? Yeah, many times. The child-like excitement I get whenever I get on one will probably never go away, either.

Do you use fly swatters? No, my mom usually uses old shoebox covers or rolled-up scratch papers we have lying around to swat them.

Have you ever used a foghorn?: Only in video games lol, never in real life.

G

Have you pet a goat? I don’t think I have. I’ve pet lots of animals before but I don’t think a goat has been one of them yet.

Are you a giver or a taker? Giver, but I’ve been allowing myself to take more these days.

Do you like gummy candies? Love them.

H

How are you? We’ve entered summer weather now, so I feel hot and miserable. It’s also Sunday and I am stuck at home, which doesn’t make me the happiest camper.

What's your height? 5′1″ or a tiny tiny tiny bit taller than that.

What color is your hair? It’s black but on extremely rare occasions I’ll catch a single light brown strand when I play with my hair.

I

What's your favorite ice cream? Cookies and cream and chocolate chip cookie dough. My friend Leigh actually started her own ice cream shop recently and I bought her coffee crumble ice cream, and it is sooooooooo fuckinggggggggg good??????? It’s so rare to find coffee ice cream where I live period, so I’m fucking stoked to have a close friend who makes literally the best one and in generous servings too.

Have you ever ice skated? Many times as a kid. I was never formally trained, but it was something I wanted to try from watching other kids play in mall ice skating rinks; and when I did give it a shot, I ended up enjoying it. Luckily my mom was encouraging and actually frequently dropped me off at a rink so I can practice gliding and all for a few hours while she ran errands.

Have you cheated the IRS? That’s like an American tax thingy, right? We don’t have that here and my employer handles my TIN.

J

What's your favorite jelly bean? Not a big fan but if I had to have Jelly Belly, I obviously would want to get the pleasant-tasting ones.

Do you tell jokes? Yes.

Do you wear nice jewelry? Only on special occasions.

K

Do you want to kill anybody? I don’t want to kill anybody but I certainly wish a good number of public officials would finally die.

Do you want to have kids? Yes. I really wish I could still have a future with them. Thanks for the trauma, my real asshole of an ex.

Where did you have kindergarten? Somewhere.

L

Are you laidback? I doubt my friends would use this to describe me. I for sure lean more towards the uptight side of the spectrum.

Do you lie? Eh, occasionally.

When is the last time you sent a hand-written letter? I have no idea. Christmas 2019 maybe?

M

Ever talked in a microphone? Sure. Many times.

Do you still watch Disney Movies? I very rarely get in the mood for them if I’m by myself, but yes, I’d gladly sit down and watch should an opportunity come.

Do you like mangoes? No.

N

Do you have a nickname? 99% of people call me Robyn while my family calls me Byn, but there are a select few friends who’ve stayed long enough with me to catch other names I’ve gotten over the years, which have since become inside jokes/nicknames. There’s Reben and Rolayn, and literally just yesterday ‘Roby’ happened when I ordered food for lunch so that will probably catch on as well.

What’s your favorite number? 4.

Do you prefer night over day? Absolutely.

O

Are you an only child? No, I’m two siblings away from that status.

Do you wish this was over? I haven’t felt that way, no.

What is the closet orange object near you? An orange tumbler my Kuya gave me as a Christmas gift in 2019. There is also orange tape wrapped around the charger adaptor of my company laptop.

P

What one fear are you most paranoid about? Waking up in the middle of surgery and being unable to speak nor move.

Do you play any instruments? Nope.

Do you think you are pretty? Some days.

Q

Are you quick to judge people? No, unless they are already blatantly showing their character like being rude towards service staff, tossing their trash to the ground, or cutting in queues. Whenever those things happen I give myself the space and freedom to guiltlessly judge.

What do you keep quiet about? How dysfunctional my family really is, and the things I really want to say about Gabie.

Do you have any quirks? Food-wise, I like peeling off the breading from fried chicken and placing them on the side of my plate so I can eat them last, because they’re my favorite part.

R

What’s a good reason to cry? Frustration. Crying can be really helpful in lessening stress.

Do you think you're always right? No.

Do you watch reality TV? Not religiously, but I love watching snippets of reality shows on Facebook because they’re all so embarrassing and it’s hilarious to watch hahahahah. Literally last night I was watching clips of Big Ed on 90 Day Fiance.

S

Are you a social person? More so now than I was years ago.

What states have you lived in? I lived in Manila briefly but it didn’t take long till we transferred to another city for a more peaceful life in the suburbs.

What is your favorite season? I wanna say winter because of what I’ve seen from it in movies and shows, but I’ve never actually experienced it before.

T

When did you last sleep in a tent? Sometime in March or April last year.

Do you like tomatoes? Mostly in diced form. Tomato sauce is fine but I don’t really like it in my pasta. Bloody Mary also tastes rather awful.

What time did you wake up? 8:30 AM.

U

Do you have an umbrella in your car? I think so, yeah. I finally placed one in there lmao.

Do listen to Usher? Eh, not really. 2000s R&B isn’t my thing, save for Beyoncé.

Describe the underwear your wearing? It’s light blue.

V

What’s the worst veggie? I never learned to like pechay. I’d still eat it, but only because I like cleaning up my entire plate.

Do you like movies with violence? Some. Like I hate action movies but I enjoyed A Clockwork Orange and Scream lol.

Where do you want to go on vacation? I recently bookmarked an Airbnb in Zambales and the accommodation is basically this super cute line of tipi-styled huts by the beach. I'd love to have a solo trip push through once this Covid mess subsides.

W

Ever been on a wave runner? No.

Where do you work? I work in a PR company.

Do you wish on stars? Just sometimes.

X

Have you ever had an x-ray? Only for mandatory medical exams.

Do you own a xylophone? I think I had a toy one as a kid, but it’s not with me anymore.

Have you watched the x-games? No, not interested.

Y

What did you do yesterday? I stayed at home; ordered food for Angela as a surprise; debated if I should buy a pair of Air Maxes – and ultimately decided I’ve already spent too much this month to deserve a new pair of shows lol; and just settled to buy a new night lamp for my bedroom. I also watched the newest episode of 2 Days 1 Night and ate more of Leigh’s ice cream while doing work.

Do you like the color yellow? Only in mustard yellow. I also like the song Yellow, heh.

What year were you born?: 1998.

Z

Do you believe in the zodiac? No.

Has your bank account been at zero? No. I remember when I was first opening my own account at the bank and the clerk told me to make sure I don’t go below P2,000, and my intensely by-the-book ass has been following the rule ever since, even though my dad has told me it’s absolutely fine to go below it so long as I have P2,000 back in the account after a month hahaha.

Ever been to the zoo? A few.

[eliblackthorne]

Winter Wedding

Our flight couldn’t have been smoother especially considering all the kids on board. For almost everyone, it was their first flight. That might have been one of the reasons the kids were so well behaved. They were too excited to do anything but take it all in. Luckily the flight was only three hours or so. Not sure our good luck would have lasted much longer.

The hotel had arranged for transportation from the airport as part of the wedding package. It was going to be tough for the kids to decide if they liked the flight more or limousines we rode in. I still couldn’t believe the wonderful deals the staff at A Step Up The Aisle had arranged for us. Getting wedding planners was such a good idea. Back to the hotel, it was so much more beautiful in person than in photos.

-------------------

I couldn’t believe how smooth everything was going so far. I had expected to hit a few snags here and there, due to some of the kids being so young, but it was amazing. The views from the plane were beautiful. I was pretty sure I had already filled up my camera between that and the drive over to the hotel. I really was going to need to send a huge thank you to A Step Up The Aisle. They found a place exactly as I had described for this. I couldn’t wait to see the site where the wedding was taking place in person.

We were told to leave our bags in the car as we got out. As we were led inside, we were talking excitedly and pointing out different things. The hotel staff was ready and waiting for us. They had all of our keys ready and no one even had to check-in. It had all been done for us; perks of a big group I guess? By the time we had explored the lobby and the views, our bags had already been taken to each of our rooms. Everything was set, and we decided to relax and meet back downstairs for lunch in about an hour.

-------------------

I never expected to feel so at home with Lili’s family and friends. Austin and I were gaining so much more than just Lili. I loved watching Emma and Austin keeping an eye on Gabi since Noah and Dawn had their hands full with the boys. Sean and Jordan were equally busy with sweet Luci and her brother Elijah. Martha was quiet, but watchful over everyone. A little like our guardian angel. Then there was Lili’s coworker Peyton and her husband Nate. I was glad to hear that the flight didn’t make her any more nauseated than morning sickness had. I couldn’t help but smile as I watched them get to know Sam, her son Kaleb and fiancé Leo. It was a shame Lili’s boss, Sierra and her husband couldn’t join us, but after all they’d been through with their twin boys, we understood. 

Lili wanted to stick with tradition, so she was staying with Martha and Emma for now. I was alone in the bridal suite for now. I didn’t mind ...mostly. Austin was staying with Noah and Dawn since they had Gabi and the twin boys. He loved being with his new cousins and they appreciated his help. Since I had the place to myself, I took the time to take several photos for Lili later and then unpacked. Once I finished, I joined everyone else for lunch in the hotel restaurant.

————————————-

Martha, Emma, and I took our time taking in the room. It was bigger than I expected, but something I was very happy about. A few days before we left, Mrs. Kessler and I met to go over final details, I had asked her to upgrade Martha and Emma’s room since they would be staying a few extra days to be with Austin. It worked out perfectly because we were all going to stay here, but this gave Eli and I a chance to have a small honeymoon. Martha still didn’t know that I had paid for her room, my gift to her for doing so much and being there for me when I needed her.

Once we were all unpacked, we took turns cleaning up and changing into fresh clothes. We sat and talked for a while once we were all changed. It was nice catching up with them and hearing Emma talk about school. I was so happy to hear that she was still loving school, though I couldn’t believe she was looking at colleges. It didn’t seem like she should be doing that already. Before long, we were laughing as we made our way to the elevator to meet everyone for lunch.

------------------

Nate texted to let us know that Peyton was napping so they would be having lunch in their room later. The flight had left her a lot more tired than she expected. I told him not to worry. Everyone else would understand. I knew if she rested now, she’d be better able to join us for the rehearsal dinner tonight. 

As soon as I got to the restaurant, I scanned the room for Austin and Lili. I quickly found them surrounded by family and friends. In fact, Austin was carrying one of Noah’s sons while Noah carried Gabi. I never would have predicted that scenario. When I made my way to Lili’s side, I let her know about Peyton so we didn’t wait for her and her husband before eating. As I told Nate, she understood completely and was glad Peyton wasn’t pushing herself too hard.

Our lunch was full of laughter and great conversation. The food was delicious but it was the comradery that I really loved. For so long it had been just Austin and me. To be part of this incredible group of people was such a blessing. Even when diapers needed changing and tired babies fought against napping. Emma volunteered to help Dawn and Jordan take the babies up to their adjoining rooms so Sean and Noah could hang out with Martha, Lili and I a little longer. 

———————-

As Emma, Jordan, and Dawn took the babies up for naps, the lunch dishes were cleared and the rest of us moved to a more comfortable area. We didn’t even notice the hours fly by as we took turns tellings stories and laughing. It was great being surrounded by everyone who was important to me. Having them all here, supporting Eli and I, at times the emotion of it all brought tears to my eyes. Even now, watching Austin and Emma talking and Noah and Sean telling Eli and Martha about one of their many adventures growing up, it felt like my family was finally complete, or would be after tomorrow.

--------------------

Noah and Sean decided to make sure their wives were not feeling neglected. Martha, Emma, Lili, and Austin joined me for a walk outside to explore the grounds. We made sure to take pictures of Emma and Austin throwing snowballs at each other since it might be the only time they got to do so. Nate and Peyton even joined us for a little while. We were happy to see that her nap had done wonders for her after the flight. I couldn’t help glancing at Lili and wondering if Austin would ever be a big brother. When Austin’s cheeks were almost bright red, I shepherded everyone back inside to warm up and relax before the rehearsal dinner. 

——————-

Even though everyone was cold, the laughter continued. Instead of heading upstairs, some of us agreed to go sit by the fire in the lobby. I went and ordered us each a cup of hot chocolate, with extra marshmallows for Austin’s, before joining everyone. I sat beside Eli and slipped my arm around him as I listened to everyone talk. There wasn’t a dull moment. 

As we drank our hot chocolate and the day turned into night, slowly everyone else came back down to join us. Even Peyton and Nate came down for dinner. I slipped away long enough to check on her and make sure she was alright. I was happy when she said she was doing just fine and that she was excited for the dinner. That made the two of us. Before long, we were ushered away for our dinner.

-----------------

I was looking forward to seeing the area where our ceremony would be held. Once everyone was together, the hotel’s event manager took us out to the site. It was stunning. Lili wasn’t the only one who got a little teary-eyed and it wasn’t even decorated yet. Since we opted for a very simple ceremony, it didn’t take long to show everyone where to enter and stand. I couldn't wait for tomorrow to officially call Lili my wife. 

Once the rehearsal was over, we were escorted back inside for dinner. I didn’t think that anything could top how beautiful the hotel and grounds were. Then we had dinner. It was a fantastic meal in a private dining room so the youngest of us didn’t have a chance to disturb anyone else. There was even room enough for Gabi and Luci to play or walk around if they got antsy. The only downside was saying good night to Lili and knowing she wouldn’t be sleeping beside me tonight. I think Austin had a hard time saying good night to her, too. 

—————-

I watched Austin and Eli walk away, and I wanted to cry. I knew it wasn’t a permanent thing, it was just for tonight, but it still broke my heart a little. I couldn’t help but smile, even laugh a little bit, when Martha and Emma walked up, each slipping an arm around me. We hugged each other and then headed upstairs.

I was too excited to sleep, so we stayed up watching tv. We, well Emma and I, might have even danced around the room, making Martha laugh. We tried to convince her to join us, but she wasn’t having it. As the night wore on we talked, ate snacks, and talked some more. Eventually, it got late and we all said good night. Of course, that just meant after a shower and a movie, I laid in bed, not sleeping, thinking about tomorrow and the wedding. It was going to be the biggest day of my life, the happiest. How was I supposed to sleep?  I didn’t think I was ever going to fall asleep, but eventually, after what seemed like forever, I finally did.

---------------------

For once I was up before Austin. I couldn’t believe it. I took some time to look over my vows and make sure they were perfect. By the time I was finished, Austin was up and knocking at my door eager for breakfast. I decided to order room service. Our wedding was in the afternoon but we didn’t want to overschedule our friends and family. We thought they might want to relax or explore on their own before the ceremony. 

While we waited for our food, Austin and I got our suits out and made sure we had everything for later. I think he was almost as excited as I was about becoming a real family. While we sat together enjoying our waffles covered in fresh fruit and whipped cream, I tried to ask him questions about any concerns or questions he had. It was hard not tearing up when he told me that he was lucky because he was going to have two moms who loved him. I almost choked when he looked at me and said, “You’ve been alone too long, Dad. You’re much better with Lili.” 

—————-

I woke to the smell of breakfast. I grinned as I sat up. Today was the day that I was going to marry Eli! I couldn’t believe it! It was finally here! In just a few hours, I was going to officially be a part of Eli and Austin’s family. I was so happy and excited, I started tearing up a little bit. Martha and Emma must have heard me because there was a light knock at the door.

I told them to come in, and we all sat on my bed talking. I told them how excited and scared I was. I mean, it was a big deal after all. What if I let them down? As happy and excited as I was, I was still scared. Scared I would disappoint everyone. Of course, Martha and Emma were right there, reminding me that I had been doing great this whole time and I hadn’t let them down yet. After talking a bit longer, we all gave in to our growling bellies and headed out to eat breakfast, after all, we had a wedding to get ready for. 

——————-

It was finally time to get ready for the wedding. We showered and got dressed while a Transformer movie played in the background. I thought I might have to pull Austin away from it, but he was almost as excited as I was. He wanted to look his best for Lili. “Dad?” he asked as I buttoned my shirt. “Yes, Austin?” It took him a few minutes, but he finally spoke up. “It’s okay to call Lili Mom once you get married, right? Mommy wouldn’t be mad?” 

I had to sit down. I knew this might come up, but I wasn’t sure when. I took Austin’s hand and pulled him close. “I think that Lili would love that. I also think your Mommy would have loved Lili and would be happy to know that you are surrounded by so many people who love you even if she is gone.” He hugged me tightly then pulled back. “Good. Now get dressed!” I wiped my eyes as he ran to get our shoes.

———————

After breakfast, I excused myself and took a hot shower. The hairdresser would be arriving soon and I wanted to make sure my hair would be manageable for him. I’m pretty sure I finished my shower in record time and was soon wrapping a towel around myself so I could dry off and start getting dressed.

Once I was dry, I wrapped a robe around myself and grabbed my dress. I joined Martha and Emma in the main room, and they helped me into my dress. Just as we got it situated, there was a knock at the door. Emma answered it and showed the hairdresser inside. While he did my hair, Martha and Emma got dressed. After my hair was done, my make up was next. Before long everyone was ready so we decided to take a few pics before heading down to join everyone else. 

——————

Austin looked so handsome as we met the wedding planner downstairs. She escorted us out to the ceremony site which exceeded my explanations. We shared a laugh at Austin’s “Whoa!” As soon as he saw Noah and Dawn, he asked if he could go say hello. “Of course, Buddy. Just make sure you join me when it’s time, ok?” I waved to Dawn, Noah and their kids as Austin went to join them. 

A few minutes later the rest of our guests had arrived and were finding seats. There was no designated bride side or groom side. With all the young guests, we wanted everyone to sit wherever they were most comfortable. The wedding planner escorted me up to stand beside the judge where I had a perfect view of all our loved ones. I don’t think the chills were only from the winter weather. In mere moments, my beautiful bride would be joining me. I took a deep breath as the planner stopped to get Noah to walk his sister down the aisle. 

—————-

I was a nervous wreck, but only because I was terrified that I was going to trip over nothing while I was walking up the aisle. I was excited and scared all at the same time. I didn’t even know that was possible. As Noah walked back to join us, I hugged him and tried not to cry when he told me how beautiful I looked. Having Noah walk me down the aisle meant so much to me, it was something that I never thought was going to be possible.

Soon, the wedding planner was ushering us to our places and the girls started making their way down the aisle to the front. Noah leaned in and whispered everything was going to be okay and that I could hold on to him as tight as I needed to. I grinned up at him, feeling like a little girl clinging to her big brother like when we were little. Next it was our turn. I took a deep breath as the curtains were pulled back and we made our way. As I looked ahead, I saw Eli and Austin waiting for me. They both looked so handsome standing up there, it was hard not to take off running. My smile grew that much more. I felt like I was walking towards my happiness and my forever. And I was.

-------------------

It’s true when they say breathtaking. Once I saw Lili walking towards me, I think I forgot how to breathe. At least for a few moments. I had never seen her look lovelier than she did when she beamed at me. I think I heard Austin say “Wow” but I was so focused on my bride I can’t be sure. Luckily Noah was placing her hand in mine before I passed out from lack of oxygen. 

I remember her hand in mine. The crisp cool air. Austin nudging me when it was my turn to read my vows. The laughter when I stammered and Austin pulled a copy of my vows out of his jacket and handed them to me. 

“I choose you. To stand by your side and sleep in your arms. To be the joy to your heart and food for your soul. To learn with you and grow with you, even as time and life change us both. I promise to laugh with you in good times and struggle alongside you in bad times. I promise to respect you and cherish you as an individual, a partner, and an equal, knowing that we do not complete, but complement each other. May we have many adventures and grow old together. I choose you over and over and over.”

——————

As Noah placed my hand in Eli’s, my heart soared. When it came time for Eli to read his vows, I tried my hardest not to tear up. But I failed, his words were so beautiful and so touching. I couldn’t help but smile as the tears fell. It took me a few minutes to process that it was my turn to read my vows.

I smiled, took a deep breath and recited my vows, "As I stand here now, before you, I have to catch my breath to believe this is real. That dreams really do come true and I'm lucky enough to be marrying my true love, my heart's desire, my best friend. They say love is give and take. I give all my love to you and Austin, and I'm lucky to receive so much love in return. I vow to carry you and to be carried by you, to journey with you both and love each minute of our travels together. I vow to love you as you love me, through all hardships, darkness, and pain to reach our joys, hopes, and always with honesty and faith.

From this day forward, let us build a home together filled with love, laughter, joy, and light. When the three of us become one, we will create a family built on love. You and Austin have become such a constant in my life, and I vow to always love and care for both of you. I vow to do my best to be a good wife and a good mom, because not only do I gain a husband today, but a son as well.”

-------------------

I wasn’t the only one moved by Lili’s heartfelt vows. Austin sniffled beside me and moved to hug her before the judge even pronounced us wed. No one minded his interruption. Especially not me. I couldn’t have been happier than me that Lili and Austin loved each other as much as they did. Once Austin stood beside me once more, the judge declared us husband and wife. I wasted no time putting my arms around my wife and kissing her as tenderly as I could. 

—————

I wrapped my arms around Eli when he kissed me. We were finally husband and wife! I couldn’t be happier! When we eventually came up for air, I reached out for Austin and scooped him up in my arms, hugging him tight. I couldn’t help but laugh when I felt Eli’s arms circle around us as well. I’m not sure how long we stood there like that, but I didn’t ever want to move or forget this moment.

----------------

There was even more laughter and applause when I hugged Lili and Austin for the first time as an official family. Having everyone’s support meant the world to us. Austin and I each offered Lili our arms, and we walked back down the aisle as a trio and led the guests into the reception area. Now that we were finally wed, it was time to relax and really enjoy everyone’s company in our very own winter wonderland!

[brettonio-one-chicago]

God, Your Mama & Me

A wonderful combination of anonymous requests:  “I don’t feel so good” with Sylvie finding out she’s pregnant and “I bet it’s a boy.”  “I bet it’s a turtle.”  (However, the second request is for a baby girl... so...)

Without further ado... “God, Your Mama & Me”

Thank you to the amazing people who create these pics that I find on google!  You’re the best!

Antonio looked up at the clock.  He was only a couple hours away from going home.  He checked his phone.  It had been over 7 months since he’d seen Sylvie.  Well, he’d seen her, but they hadn’t really talked since Laura had come in and blow everything they had to smithereens.  He’d been regretting what he’d said to her, but at the same time, he knew that she deserved so much more than he could ever offer her.  He sighed.

“Yo!  Antonio!”  Gaby’s voice made his head bolt up from the paperwork on his desk.

“Gaby?”  Antonio got up and adjusted his tie.  “What are you doing here?”

“You texted me... remember?”  She held up her phone.

“I didn’t mean come here, now.”

“Antonio... what’s going on?”

“How’s Brett?”

“You know, you could just call her.”  Gaby sat at the chair across from his desk.  “Where’s Laura?”

“Gone to talk to her lawyer about her daughter.”

“So, back to my partner... why don’t you just talk to her?”

“I’m not exactly sure on how to start that conversation, Gaby.  I’ve been thinking about it for months now.”

“I’m still trying to figure out what the hell happened between you two.”  Gaby crossed her arms.  “You two were sickly in love... how the fuck did your ex get between you two?”

“Gaby.”

“No, ‘Tonio... talk to me... we haven’t had secrets in our lives since forever... talk to me.”

“Laura... she messed everything up... Sylvie was pissed...”

Gaby rolled her eyes.  “You think she should’ve taken what your ex said about her with a smiled.  Our whole house heard what that bitch said to her...”

“I’m not saying she had to take it... I fucked up.”

“Then, that means, you have to fix it.”  She pointed at him.

“Is she... you know... moved on?”

“Not really... look, Antonio, I love you... you’re my big brother and you’ve always been there for me... but lately, you’ve been a moron.  Sylvie said that you’d check in on each other once things settled down.”  Gaby sighed.  “I also know that I’ve had to listen to my partner cry when she thinks no one can hear her.  This whole thing broke her.”

“Gaby... You think I wanted to hurt her?”

“I really don’t know, Antonio... you told her that you couldn’t be with her... that you couldn’t give her what she deserved.”

“I have a psychotic ex-wife who seems to think she still runs my life... I have a job that isn’t exactly relationship friendly... I...”

“Stop.  Antonio, just stop.”  Gaby put her hands up.  “You left CPD, you run your own squad for the State’s Attorney... that’s gotta be more relationship friendly than Intelligence.”

“Sorta.”

“Then, here’s my solution.  Call Sylvie up... ask her to go for coffee.  Talk to her.”  Gaby stood up.  “Stop acting like a teenager who’s to afraid to talk to his crush.  She still cares about you.”

Antonio stood up.  “I still car... I love Sylvie, Gaby... I just... I never got to tell her.”

Gaby’s jaw dropped.  “You what?!”

Antonio throw his hands in the air.  “I. Love. Sylvie.”

“Then why the fuck didn’t you say that instead of, ‘I’m not good enough’?”

“Because I’m a fool.”  Antonio groaned.  He hit the filing cabinet.  “I’m a fool.”

“You off soon?”

“A couple hours.”  Antonio answered.

“She’s got a Zumba class right now... she’ll be home after 5.”

“And you know this how?”

“Because I was supposed to go over there for a girls’ night with Stella... I think Stella and I will go to Molly’s and you should go over there and talk to her.”

“Gaby.”

“No, Antonio.  Listen to me for once.  Win that woman back... so you both can be happy.”  Gaby had turned to leave but stopped.  “And don’t let Laura fuck anything else up.”

Gaby walked out as Laura Nagel walked back in.  She looked to her partner.  “Don’t let me fuck what up?”

“My ex Laura, not you.”  Antonio sighed.

“Your sister came here to give you relationship advice?”

“Sorta.”

“Men.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

“Antonio, men are clueless unless women draw them a roadmap for the relationship... I’m taking this has something to do with Sylvie.”  Nagel sat at her desk and slid her purse into one of the desk drawers.

“Yeah.”

“You never got over her.”

“I know that.”

“Then, what are you gonna do about it?”

“I’m going to go talk to her tonight.”

“Uh huh... looking like you’ve slept in your suit... and like you haven’t slept in a few months.”

“What do you propose?”  Antonio was intrigued.  

“Go home, shower, change... try and look like you want to fix things with her.”

Antonio looked at his reflection in the window.  “I do look like hell.”

“Go home, Dawson.”  Laura said.  “Then, maybe when you come back from your weekend off, you won’t be as much of a pain in the ass.”

Antonio grabbed his coat and his brief case.  “Sure.  Thanks, Nagel.”

“Go, Dawson... please...”  Laura shooed him out of their office.

Sylvie was just getting out of the shower when she heard knocking at her door.  She looked at the clock.  “Damn it.”  It was just after 5, Stella and Gaby were now there and she wasn’t ready yet.  “Come in... I’ll be ready in 10.”  She called out.

She went back to getting ready.  She’d picked out her outfit but had forgotten it in the living room.  She made sure her towel was wrapped tightly and headed to get her dress.  She wasn’t even looking up.  “Sorry, guys.  I’ll be right...out.”  She stopped as she saw that it wasn’t Stella or Gaby standing in her entryway.  “Antonio.”  Her breath hitched.

“Uh, hi... Sylvie.”  Antonio looked down at his feet.  “Um... Gaby... said that you guys were... supposed to have girls night.”

“Yeah.”  Sylvie pulled her outfit up to cover herself.  She didn’t know why she did it, Antonio had seen her before.

“Look... I don’t know what to say... other than I’ve been a fool.  We said we’d check in on each other... and I shouldn’t have waited this long.”  He took a careful step into her apartment.  “I really would like to do that check-in... especially since I know Gaby and Stella won’t be coming tonight.”

“Oh... um...”  She thought about it.  “How do you know what Gaby and Stella are doing?”

Antonio walked up towards her and lifted her chin.  “Gaby told me to come tonight... and I know I shouldn’t have waited this long.”

“Antonio... either of us...”

“Gaby told me, Sylvie... that...”

“She’s heard me crying...”  Sylvie concluded.

Antonio nodded.  “Sylvie, I let my ex-wife get between us... I shouldn’t have let that happen... I shouldn’t have been so angry with you when you were the one who had every right in the world to be mad at me.”

“Antonio.”

“Sylvie... I... I wanted to fight... but I thought that what I was doing was right.  For you.  I could live with the pain, but knowing I hurt you, that is something I can’t live with.”

Sylvie could tell that Antonio had been hurting as much as she had.  His voice always betrayed his emotions when he spoke to her.  “Antonio... um... give me 5 minutes... I’ll get dressed... then we’ll talk.”

Antonio nodded.  “Okay.”

Sylvie quickly made her way to her room to finish getting dressed.  She quickly ran a brush through her hair and took a deep breath.  She wasn’t sure what this check in was going to result in, but she knew damn well she was going to speak her mind this time.  She’d been miserable since that night and she wasn’t going to let him think otherwise.

3 months later...

“Sylvie!”  Antonio called out.  “Babe, we’re going to be late.”

“Antonio, we’ve gone on dates before.”

“Yeah, then we had a break... and now we’re back together, and I have a very special date planned and I really would prefer not being late.”  Antonio looked at his watch.  “Please.”

“I’m just looking for my shoes.”

“Sylvie... they’re by the door.”

Sylvie came out of her bedroom.  “You’re a peach.”

“No, I’m anxious.”  He laughed.  “Let’s go, please.”

“I’m coming... yeesh...”  She shook her head as she slid on her shoes.

“Sylvie... it’s the first time I’m meeting your parents... I’d really prefer not have them think that I live on ‘Island time’.”

“Antonio... they’re just my parents.”

“Sylvie, I love you... and I’ve hurt you... pretty sure they’re gonna be questioning that and our relationship...”

Sylvie groaned.  “You’re making this into a way bigger deal than it needs to be.”  She wrapped her arms around his neck and kissed him.  “We’re making our relationship work... at our own speed... no interruptions... My parents only care if I’m happy.”

“Are you happy?”  He whispered.

“Very.”  She kissed him again.  “Now, can we please go?  You’re the one dragging your butt now.”

They arrived right on time.  That was probably because Antonio had used the sirens on his truck.

“You do know that was an abuse of power.”  Sylvie chastised him as they were seated.

“Sylvie, it’s your parents... the last thing I wanna do is make a horrible first impression by being late.”

“I like this one already.”  An older man’s voice said.

“Daddy!”  Sylvie jumped up from her seat.

“Hi, sweetheart.”  Mr. Brett kissed his daughter’s cheek.  He extended his hand to Antonio.  “You must be that dashing Detective that’s stolen our baby’s heart.”

“Antonio Dawson, sir.”  Antonio shook his hand.  “It’s a pleasure to meet both of you.”

“Pleasure’s all ours.”  Mrs. Brett hugged him.  “Now, what’s good to eat here?  We’re starving... that airplane food should be illegal.”

Antonio chuckled.  He was with them there.  “I agree 100%.”

The server came and took drink orders.  Antonio ordered a bottle of wine to come with their meal.  The beginning of their conversation consisted of finding out how Sylvie’s brothers and sister were doing as well as her niece and nephew.

“Antonio, what is it that you’re doing now?”  Mr. Brett asked.  “Sylvie mentioned some career change?”

Antonio took a sip of water.  “Well, I was moved up to working with the State’s Attorney’s office for a while... but I wasn’t feeling as fulfilled as when I was working with the Chicago Police... a little while back, they needed someone to go undercover that hadn’t been involved in that particular case... I went in and ultimately, we got the bad guys.  I was offered my old position in Intelligence back... so I did.  It’s been an adjustment, but it’s definitely where I’m meant to be.”

“Is being a detective more dangerous than a state investigator?”  Mrs. Brett asked as she closed her menu.

“Depends on the day.”  Antonio replied.  “My days off are spent with Sylvie and my children.”

“Sylvie mentioned that you have a son and a daughter.”  Mr. Brett said.

Antonio nodded.  “Yeah, Eva and Diego... Sylvie’s amazing with them.”

“What about their mother?”

Antonio was about to reply but Sylvie cut in.  “Daddy, enough.  It’s over... the past... we moved on.”

Mr. Brett arched an eyebrow before conceding.  “Okay, sweetheart.”

Antonio was relieved that he hadn’t had to deal with that question.  He knew that Sylvie’s parents were probably upset over Laura’s shenanigans and they should be.  He had a daughter, so he understood how he’d feel if a guy put Eva through that.

The server arrived and took their orders.  Sylvie got up and excused herself to go to the ladies’ room.  This particular situation made Antonio anxious.  He hadn’t expected to be alone with Sylvie’s parents just yet.  He wanted to talk to them alone, but now that he was alone with them, he didn’t know what to say.

There was an awkward silence before Mr. Brett spoke.  “Antonio... I know that your job is difficult and whatever happened before now is the past.  My daughter has chosen to move past it... but that’s a little harder for us.  Hearing our little girl cry because of what happened between the two of you... you’re damned lucky I was recovering from a knee replacement.”

Mrs. Brett put her hand on her husband’s arm, cutting him off.  “What is your end game, as my grandson puts it, with this relationship?”

Antonio turned to make sure that Sylvie wasn’t headed back to the table.  “Um, well... I didn’t know when else I would be able to speak with you... or how tonight would go... but...”  He reached into his jacket and pulled out a small velvet box.  “I love your daughter.  I was a fool to not see it earlier... and I was a jackass to put her through what I did.”  He paused.  “But I don’t wanna lose her... I want to spend the rest of my life with her.”  He took a deep breath.  “I guess... I guess what I’m trying to say is... I would like your blessing to marry Sylvie.”

Mr. and Mrs. Brett exchanged glances.  Mr. Brett looked Antonio in the eye.  “You planning on running away again, if the going gets tough?  Or is that ex of yours comes to ruffle some feathers?”

“No, sir.”  Antonio said.  “I’m not planning on running anywhere.  I plan on running home to Sylvie and whatever family we choose to have at the end of every day.  I love her.”

Mr. Brett nodded.  “Then you have our blessing... hurt her again though, and it won’t end too well for you.”

“Thank you.”  Antonio heaved a sigh of relief.  “Thank you so much.”

“I know that Sylvie is happy with you.”  Mrs. Brett said.  “She’s told me every time I talk to her.  I am curious though, it’s only been 3 months since you’ve been back together... isn’t it a little soon to be proposing?”

Antonio understood her her concern.  “Yeah... it may be... but, I want her to know how serious I am about this relationship.”

Mr. Brett cleared his throat.  Antonio looked back to see that Sylvie was making her way back to the table.

“When exactly do you plan on asking?”  Mr. Brett whispered.

Antonio hadn’t had a plan.  He was about to answer when Sylvie came back to the table.  Antonio got up and held out Sylvie’s chair.  Once she was seated, he knelt next to her and took out the box.

Mrs. Brett gasped and grabbed her husband’s hand.

Antonio looked into Sylvie’s eyes.  “Sylvie... I love you and I have for some time now.  I was a fool before, and I don’t ever wanna lose you again.  There won’t always be good days, I know that... but I want to share every day with you for the rest of my life.  Good or bad, I want to be with the woman I love.”  He opened the box.  “Sylvie, would you do me the incredible honour of being my wife?”

Sylvie’s hand flew to her mouth.  “Antonio.”  She whispered.

Antonio held his breath.  He prayed that he hadn’t been to brash in asking now, in front of her parents and an entire restaurant full of strangers.

“Yes.”  Sylvie nodded.  “Yes, I’ll marry you!”

Antonio gently took the ring and slid it onto her left ring finger.  It was a perfect fit.  He got up and brought her into his arms.  “I love you.”  He kissed her.  “I couldn’t wait another day.”

The restaurant had erupted into cheers and whistles.  The server returned with a bottle of champagne as a gift to the happy couple.  A toast was made and Antonio and Sylvie were on cloud 9.

2 months later...

“Antonio?”  Sylvie called from their bedroom.  “Do we have any gingerale left?”

“We went through it all yesterday.”  He poked his head into the bedroom.  

“I don’t feel so good.”  She moaned.

“Still?”  He sat on the bed and draped a cool, damp cloth across her forehead.  “You don’t have a fever.”

“I feel like I’m dying.” 

“I’ll head out go and get some gingerale... do you think it could be the takeout from last night?”

“I don’t know... you ate it too.” 

“I’m Dominican... we tend to have stomachs of steel.”

“Care to trade.”  Sylvie started heaving and bolted from the bed to the bathroom.

Antonio’s heart ached as he heard her in the bathroom.  “Babe, I think I’ll go to the pharmacy instead... get some anti-nausea meds.

“Okay.”  Sylvie said weakly as she flushed the toilet.  “Can you help me get back to bed first?”

“I think you may be better staying there until I come back... in case you have to get sick again.”  Antonio said gently opening the bathroom door.  “I don’t like the idea of leaving you alone.”

“I’ll be fine... just leave my cell with me.”

“Okay.”  Antonio grabbed her phone off the nightstand.  “I’ll be quick.”  He kissed her forehead.

Sylvie nodded and leaned against the bathtub.

Antonio bolted down the steps and out the door, crashing to Gaby in the process.  

“Where’s the fire, Antonio?!”  Gaby exclaimed.

“Sylvie’s sick.”  Antonio answered.

“Okaaaaay...  Where... are you in such a rush to?”  Gaby caught her breath.

“Pharmacy.”  Antonio pulled out his keys from his pocket.  “I need gingerale, crackers and Gravol.”

“Okay... I’ll... I’ll go check on her.”  Gaby said.  “Where is she?”

“Master ensuite...”  Antonio headed to his truck.  “Thanks, Gaby!”

Gaby sighed and headed inside.  She headed straight to Sylvie.

“Is he gone?”

Gaby nodded.  “You sure you wanna do this without him?”

“I don’t wanna get him riled up over nothing.”  Sylvie sighed.  “Did you bring it?”

Gaby reached into her purse and pulled out the box.  “Are you ready for this?”

Sylvie stared at her future sister-in-law.  “Better now than when he gets back.”  

Gaby just stood there.

“Uh, a little privacy?”  Sylvie asked.

“Right.”  Gaby went and sat on the bed.  “Let me know when you want me back in there.”  She knew that Sylvie wanted to handle this in her own way, but she also knew her brother.

“Okay, you can come back.”  Sylvie’s voice was barely audible.

“You did all of them?”  Gaby commented.

“Can’t be too careful.”  Sylvie whispered.

Gaby sat next to her and put her arm around her.  “It’ll be okay.”

“We’re just planning the wedding... the kids are getting used to having a step-mom... I...”  Sylvie put her head to her knees.  “We haven’t even talked about babies... or having some of our own.”  She started to weep.  “We were just taking it all one day at a time.”

Just then, Sylvie’s phone buzzed.  Sylvie turned it off.  “5 minutes are up... we’ll...”

Gaby helped her up and they went over to the sink.  One by one, Sylvie flipped the tests over.

“OH GOD!”  Sylvie exclaimed.

Gaby patted her shoulder as all 3 tests were positive.  There was no denying it considering one had a blazing pink plus sign, another two solid, bold pink lines and the digital one clearly read ‘pregnant’.  “Sylvie... breathe.”  Gaby instructed her.  “You’re not breathing.”

“I’m pregnant.”  Sylvie whispered.

“Yeah.”  Gaby, for the first time in a long time, was at a complete loss for words.

“Oh, God... what... what do I...”

“Sylvie?  Gaby?  I’m back!”  Antonio called up.

Sylvie gasped and looked to Gaby.  “Hide them!”

Gaby swept the three tests into a plastic bag and hid them under the sink.  They were just coming out of the bathroom when Antonio got into the bedroom with gingerale.  

“Any better?”  He asked, handing Sylvie the glass.

She shook her head.  “No, not really.”

“Uh, Gaby... could you... give us a minute?”  Antonio asked.

“Uh, sure.”  Gaby nodded.  “I’ll be in the kitchen... making her some tea...”

Sylvie took a sip of the gingerale.  It felt good.  “What’s up?”

Antonio wasn’t sure how to say what he had to so he just blurted it out.  “I talked to the pharmacist and he said you should do one of these.”  Antonio pulled a pregnancy test from his back pocket.

“What?”  Sylvie was in shock.  “Why were you talking to the pharmacist?”

“I needed to ask for the Gravol... which, is why he recommended the test... supposedly Gravol isn’t good if you’re pregnant.”

“Antonio... we... we haven’t even talked about that being a possibility yet... we’re planning the wedding and getting Eva and Diego used to this... I mean, Eva is supposed to be moving in with us... like... are we really ready for a baby.”

“Sylvie, I know that we haven’t talked about this... but it’s a very real possibility unless you have something to tell me... like not being able to have kids...”

“No... no... That’s...”  Sylvie sighed.  “I don’t need to do the test.”

Antonio’s eyes widened.  “Why not?”

“Because... your sister brought me some already... I... I had thought about pregnancy being an option already... and I was scared to talk to you about it.”

“Why, baby?”

“Because... your kids are teenagers... we’re just starting out... we’re not married yet.”  Sylvie was rambling.

“So... none of that really matters... I just want us to be a family... our family... and I don’t want you to be scared to talk to me about this stuff... I love you, Sylvie... no matter what.”  He hugged her tightly.  “Did... did you do the tests?”

Sylvie nodded, the tears were flowing again.

“Babe, why are you crying?”

“I... I don’t know.”  Sylvie said.

“Sylvie, where are the tests?”

“Under... the sink.”  Sylvie was starting to hyperventilate.

“Babe, breathe... okay... just breathe...”  Antonio quickly went to get the aforementioned bag and pulled out the tests.  “They’re... all... we’re having a baby?”

Sylvie nodded and sniffled.  “Yeah... and I’m happy and terrified and I don’t know... Antonio.”

He hugged her tightly, kissing her forehead.  “Sylvie, I love you... and this... this baby is a product of that love... and sure, maybe he or she isn’t planned, but we’ll love them no matter what.”

“You mean that?”

“Sylvie, I do.”

“What about the wedding?”  

“Do you want to be Mrs. Dawson before the baby is here... or after?”

Sylvie wiped her eyes.  “I had always hoped to be married before having any kids.”

“Then we’ll move it up... hell, I’ll marry you right now.”

“I’m a mess.”

“You’re beautiful.”  He wiped a tear away.  

“Could... do you think we could put it together for the end of the month?”

“Sure... Anything for you, babe.”  He smiled, gently placing his hand on her still flat belly.  “Any idea on how far you could be?”

Sylvie shrugged.  “I have an idea.”

“Care to share?”

“I’m guessing that night... you proposed.”

“That was two months ago, Sylvie.”

“I haven’t really been paying attention to my cycle, Antonio... Stress from moving and stuff was my guess as to why I didn’t get a a heavy period... probably... that was... well... whatever... I’ll book an appointment with an OB and we’ll know exactly how far I am.”  She looked into his eyes.  “Are you happy?”

“I am... because I’m with you and we’re having a baby together.”  

It didn’t take long before Sylvie was able to get seen by a doctor. 

“Are you sure you wanna come?”  Sylvie braided her hair.  “It’s just a first meeting and confirming what I’m pretty I already know.”

“Sylvie... it’s our baby... and if Natalie is planning on doing an ultrasound, I’d like to be there.”

“What about Voight?”  She said.  “Won’t he get suspicious?”

“No, because I told him you were getting checked over because of that really bad food poisoning you had.”

“He bought that?”

“Well, why wouldn’t he?”  Antonio pulled on his shoes.  “Other than Gaby, no one else would suspect a baby.”

Sylvie sighed.  “When are we going to tell people?”

“At our wedding.”

“We haven’t even sent out invitations... no one but Gaby knows.”  

Antonio kissed her.  “Stop worrying so much... Gaby and I have a lot of it figured out and no one will know any different.”

“Do you honestly think our friends, and family, will believe that they’re coming to a fancy dinner when it’s actually our wedding?”  Sylvie was having a hard time believing it because Gaby had a reputation for not being able to keep a secret.

“Gaby knows that if she blabs, that things will not end well for her.”  Antonio said.  “Babe, all we need is our family and friends to be there and for us to say ‘I do’.”

“Okay, well... Gaby promised to come with me to look for dresses after the appointment.”  Sylvie smiled.  “Still can’t believe we’re pulling this all together on such short notice.”

“Anything is possible if we put our minds to it... let’s get going before we miss this appointment.”

The drive over was filled with conversation about who would stand with them as witnesses for the wedding.  For Sylvie, it was an easy choice.  She had already asked Gaby.  Antonio was the one struggling with who to choose.  He had to think on that a little more.

“Antonio... the light’s green.”  Sylvie said.

“Yeah... sorry.”  Antonio pulled into Chicago Med’s parking lot.  “Let’s go and see how our little one is doing.”

They checked in and Natalie appeared with another doctor and nurse, April Sexton in tow.  “Antonio, Sylvie...  Nice to see you.”  She closed the door behind them.  “So, wanna explain the super secretive text?”  She asked Sylvie.

Sylvie nodded.  “Just... this is way on the hush hush... no one else can know.”

“Our lips are sealed.”  Natalie nodded.  “This is Dr. Kierra Richards.  She’s an OB... as you requested... So you wanna tell me, or are you gonna make me guess?”

“She’s totally pregnant.”  April laughed.  “Look at her.”

“I figured as much.”  Natalie shook her head.  “I just wanted to hear her say it.  Why else would she need an OB?”

“Okay, so that cat’s outta the bag... can... you know... get on with the exam.”  Antonio’s heart was racing.  He hadn’t been this anxious in some time. 

“Antonio, you have two kids already... what’s with the nervousness?”  April asked.

“Uh, well... my kids are teenagers... so, this baby thing... it’s like starting over again.”

“Well, how about I get some blood drawn so we can figure out where Sylvie is in her pregnancy and I get an ultrasound going?”  Dr. Richards smiled.

April drew a couple tubes of Sylvie’s blood and ran it to the lab to get hCG levels read.  It was one of the best ways to determine how far along in the pregnancy that she was.  

“Let’s get you to lie down and lift your shirt a bit and push down the band of your jeans... we’ll get started.”  Dr. Richards pulled an ultrasound unit over next to the exam table.  “Detective, you can stand on that side there.  Nat, you wanna be my extra eyes... just make sure everything is what I’m seeing.”

“Gladly.”  Natalie smiled.  “Let’s see this little one.”

Dr. Richards started the ultrasound.  “Okay, so here’s the uterus...”  She hit a couple of buttons on the machine.  “And there... is your baby.”

Antonio’s jaw dropped.  “That little jelly bean?  That’s our baby.”

“Yep...”  Dr. Richards adjusted a couple nobs.  “And this... is their heartbeat.”

The room was filled a wub-wub sound.

Sylvie’s eyes began to tear up when she heard it.  “Awe... oh my God.”

“Everything I’m seeing is great.  Healthy pregnancy... baby’s growing well...”  She turned off the ultrasound and wiped the jelly off Sylvie’s abdomen.  “How far along do you think you are?”

“I’d guess about 8 weeks...”  Sylvie said.  “I’m thinking it was right around the time we got engaged.”

“Size says that you’d be off... a little.”  Natalie smiled.

“How little off are we talking?”  Antonio asked.

“I’d say she’s closer to 12 weeks.”  Natalie said.  “Just based on the size and the heart rate.”

April reappeared.  “hCG levels.”

Dr. Richards looked them over.  “Based on these numbers, Natalie’s right.”

“So, what... you’re saying she was pregnant before we got engaged?”  Antonio asked.

“By this, I’d say yeah, that’s right.”

“How didn’t I know?”  Sylvie asked, sitting on the edge of the bed.

“You could’ve had implantation bleeding and mistaken it for a real one... you may not have been paying as close as attention as you thought... does this change anything?”  Dr. Richards asked.

“No... just... wow.”  Sylvie looked to Antonio.  “I’m gonna start showing by the time we get married.”

“When’s the wedding?”  Natalie asked. 

“Um.”  Antonio hesitated.  

“Antonio, come on.”  Natalie said.  “We’re all friends here.”

“We... no one knows that we’re moving the wedding ahead.”  Antonio said.  “We... we have it that they think they’re coming to a party at the end of next month... but it’s actually going to be our wedding.”

“Ah.”  April smiled.  “Well, as long as we all get invites, your secret is safe with us.”

“Deal.”  Sylvie said.  “Um, can I get a copy of that scan?  Gaby knows and, well... she’ll wanna see her little niece or nephew.”

“Sure thing.”  Dr. Richards replied.  “Be right back.”

Sylvie was getting dressed.  So far, she’d been able to hide the slight bump that had begun to form.  Eva had moved into their house.  Diego was trying to do the same, but because of his age, it was a lot harder.  Laura was playing hardball in court, but both kids knew about the baby and both were excited.

“Uh, Sylvie?”  Eva knocked on their bedroom door.

“Yeah, Eva, come in.”

“Aunt Gaby is here.”

“Oh, right... we have to go pick up the dresses for the party.”  

“So...”  Eva was wringing her hands together.  “When are you guys telling people about the baby?”

“Soon.”  Sylvie smiled.  “Do you have to work tonight?”

Eva nodded.  She’d taken up babysitting for one of the neighbours after school to help put money aside for college.  “Yeah, they said it may be an overnighter.”

“Okay, just call me or your dad to let us know for sure.”

“Deal.”  Eva hugged Sylvie.  “I’m really excited for this party.”

“As am I.”  Sylvie laughed.  “Okay, so here’s some money, in case your dad forgot to fill the fridge for your lunch today.”

“Thanks.  He seems a little distracted.”

“He is.  Between Intelligence, you moving in, the baby and wedding planning... he’s got a lot going on.”

“When is the wedding?”

“Um, after the baby.”  It had been the story they’d come up with.  They couldn’t risk the surprise being leaked.

“Oh.”  Eva sounded a little disappointed.

“You wanted it before?”

“I just want you and Dad to be married before Mom messes things up anymore.”

“Eva, your mom can try as she may, but it won’t happen.  Your dad and I are making this work.”

Eva hugged her.  “Good, because I really like you.”

“And I like you too, but you should finish getting ready for school... I’m gonna go run those errands with Gaby and I’ll see you later.”

“Okay.”  Eva headed to the kitchen to eat breakfast while Sylvie headed to the door where Gaby was waiting.

“Where’s Antonio?”

“Voight called him in last night.”  Sylvie sighed.  “When is this morning sickness going to be over?”

“Who knows.”  Gaby chuckled.  “Come on, don’t wanna keep Dr. Richards waiting.”

“I still can’t believe we’re going to be doing all these announcements on Saturday.”

“Is Antonio going to make the appointment?”  Gaby slid behind the wheel.

Sylvie shrugged.  “Depends.  Voight’s starting to get suspicious.”

“Ah.”  Gaby headed towards Med.  “Well, it’s not like you guys are finding out the sex until Saturday anyhow... I’m the only one who’ll know.”

“Yeah... I know.”  Sylvie had wanted to wait until delivery, but that argument resulted in the compromise that after the ceremony, they’d announce the pregnancy and Gaby would release the appropriate colour confetti and glitter.

Her phone began to ring.  “Antonio?”  Sylvie asked.

“Hey, babe.”

“You can’t make it, can you?”

“No... not without having Voight and Burgess grill me.”  Antonio was whispering.

“Okay... well, we’re almost there.”

“I wish I could be there, Sylvie.  I really do.”

“Antonio, it’s fine.  It’s only a couple days away.”

“I know.”  There was a pause.  “I bet it’s a boy.”

“Well, I bet it’s a girl.”

“I bet it’s a turtle.”  Gaby said over the two of them.

Antonio groaned.  “Tell my sister not to ruin the surprise.”

“I will.”  Sylvie giggled.  “We’re here.  I’ll see you tonight?”

“Definitely.”

The big day was here.  Everyone that had been invited thought it was strictly their engagement party.  Matt had been brought in on the secret to stand next to Antonio.  They had set up chairs for the ceremony.  Gaby and Sylvie had taken a large arch and decorated it in fairy lights and flowers.  A tent was set up down the way from the ceremony site.  After that was all done, Antonio went to Matt and Gaby’s to get ready while Sylvie and Gaby got ready Antonio and Sylvie’s.  

“I can’t believe we were able to find a dress that hides the bump and still looks awesome.”  Sylvie said as Gaby did up the back of the dress.

“I can’t believe that no one else has clued in on this.”

“Well, thank God April went to get my parents from the airport.”  Sylvie laughed as she put the earrings Antonio had bought her in.  “She won’t blab.”

“True.”  Gaby did up Sylvie’s necklace next.  “Wow.  Sylvie, you look amazing.”

Sylvie looked in the mirror.  Her hair was part up with small flowers weaved through the tiny braids that shaped a crown.  The rest of her hair was flowing in loose curls.  She got up.  “Okay, let’s head over there... this all goes down in an hour.”

“Hey, it can’t start without the bride.”  Gaby laughed, grabbing the bouquets.  “Let’s go.”

Meanwhile...

Antonio was pacing.  No one knew what was going on yet.  They’d all gathered in the hotel lobby.  He was going to make the announcement soon.  Well, he’d make the announcement after Sylvie, Gaby and Sylvie’s parents were in place.  He watched as Diego was fidgeting with his tie.  “Diego, I know you don’t like it, but...”

“I know Dad... I may as well get used to it because it’s what we’re wearing for the wedding.”

Antonio chuckled.  “Exactly.  Go find Abuela... you and Eva will be sitting with her for a bit tonight.”

“Cool!”

“Sure.”  Antonio shook his head as Diego took off to find his grandmother.

Matt approached him.  “They’re here.”

“Is everyone else?”

“Everyone that had an invitation.”  Matt answered.

“Then... let’s get this show on the road.”  Antonio handed Matt his boutonnière. 

Once they were ready, they made their way to the stairs.

“Uh, Mr. Brett... Sylvie wanted to see you.”  Gaby caught Mr. Brett before he headed to the bar.

“Oh, right now?  She’s here.” 

“Yeah.”  Gaby led him to the small cloak room off the lobby.  “Sylvie, I have your dad.”

“Come in.”  

Gaby opened the door and let Mr. Brett in.

“Sylvie, what’s with...”  Mr. Brett froze.  “Sylvie, what’s going on?”

“Um, well... we’re getting married... tonight... right now.”  Sylvie smiled.  “Surprise.”

Mr. Brett took a minute to process that.  “Right now?”

“Yeah... would... would you walk me up the aisle?”

“Oh, sweetheart, of course I would!”  He hugged his daughter tightly.  “Why didn’t you guys say anything... we would’ve helped...”

“Daddy, everything is getting explained tonight, I promise, but right now, I’d really like to get married.”

“Sure thing, darling.”  

Gaby pinned a boutonnière to Mr. Brett’s lapel.  “There.  Ready?”

“Definitely.”  Sylvie was beaming.  She hadn’t thought this day would get here, but it was.  “Let’s do this.”

The guests followed the hotel staff as they instructed them to move out to the garden area.  There were murmurs and whispers as they sat.  No one knew what was going on.  They sat on either side of the makeshift aisle.  

Soon, soft music filled the air.  Heads turned as Antonio walked up the aisle.  He was soon followed by Matt and Gaby coming up, arm in arm.  They took their places.  

Antonio cleared his throat.  “Um, you guys are probably wondering what’s going on... and well, you’re all here to be witnesses to Sylvie and my wedding.  We’re getting married tonight, right now... so...”  He motioned to someone off to the side.  

The music changed and the doors to the hotel swung open.  People turned and stood as Sylvie and her father made their way down the aisle.  Once at the arch, Mr. Brett placed Sylvie’s hand in Antonio’s and he went to sit next to his wife.

One of the judges that Antonio had worked with while with the State’s Attorney’s office came forward and began the ceremony.  It wasn’t long before they got to the important part.  

“Do you, Antonio, take Sylvie to be your wife, in sickness and health, the good and the bad, for richer or poorer, all the days of your life?”

Antonio grinned.  “I do.”

“Sylvie, do you take Antonio to be your husband, in sickness and health, the good and the bad, for richer or poorer, all the days of your life?”

“I most certainly do.”  Sylvie brushed a tear from her cheek.

“The rings?”

Matt pulled the rings from his jacket.

Antonio repeated after the judge and slid Sylvie’s ring onto her finger.  Sylvie quickly followed suit.

“Well, without further ado, it is my great pleasure to announce, that by the power vested in me by the great city of Chicago and the state of Illinois, that you are now husband and wife.”  He grinned.  “You may kiss the bride!”

Antonio pulled Sylvie into his arms and kissed her deeply, dipping her in the process.  Cheers and applause erupted in the hotel courtyard.  Once Antonio and Sylvie came up for air, the judge announce.  “It is my pleasure to present to you, Mr. and Mrs. Antonio and Sylvie Dawson!”

Once the applause died down, Antonio took the judge’s mic.  “We’d like to thank you all for being here.  I know you probably were all expecting a little more notice for the wedding, but... Sylvie and I have another announcement to make.”

Sylvie leaned in.  “Now, this isn’t the only reason we’re getting married, but we’re having a baby.”

The guests went quiet before erupting into shouts of congratulations.  Their excitement was cut short as pink and purple confetti and glitter rained down over them.

The guests looked around in shock.

“I guess we should be more specific... we’re having a girl.”  Antonio chuckled.

“Told you so!”  Gaby laughed over the guests as they all rushed towards the newlyweds to congratulate them.

The stars began to come out as the sun had set.  The couple and their guests made their way to the tent to continue in the celebrations.

“I’m so happy.”  Sylvie said as they danced their first dance.

“So am I.”  He kissed her.  “Just know, I’m so outnumbered now.”

“You’ll survive.”  She giggled.  “Are you happy?”

“Happier than I’ve been in some time.”

“I love you, Detective Dawson.”  She blushed.

“I love you, Mrs. Dawson.”

Epilogue:

Sylvie had gone to 51 to visit and to have an impromptu baby shower thrown by their friends from the CFD and the CPD.  Antonio was working one last shift before the baby came.  They were halfway through one of Trudy’s games when Sylvie groaned, grabbing her belly.

“Sylvie?”  Gaby hadn’t left her side.  “You okay?”

“Yeah, just Braxton-Hicks... Dr. Richards said I’m nowhere near ready to deliver.  Still a couple more weeks.”

“You’ll tell us otherwise... right?”  Trudy asked.

“Definitely.”  Sylvie nodded.  She was certain there was no way that she’d be going into labour yet.

Another hour or so passed and Sylvie went up to get more punch when she gasped, dropping the glass.  “Oh no.”  She looked down.  “Oh, no.”

“Sylvie, what the hell?”  Joe Cruz asked as he came into the kitchen.  “Butterfingers?”

“Um.”  Sylvie gulped.  “No... that... that’s not punch...”

“Then...”  Joe’s eyes bulged before he shouted.  “Gaby!  Casey!  Sylvie’s water broke!”

Chaos ensued as they tried to convince Sylvie to have Gaby and Chout take her in Ambo 61.

“I am not going in the ambo... someone else drive me.”  Sylvie was determined to not be in an ambulance as a patient any time soon.

“Sylvie... please.”  Boden tried to negotiate.

“No.”  Sylvie said before doubling over as a contraction hit.

“Okay, that’s it.”  Boden said.  “Severide, Casey... get her in 61, now.”

Sylvie couldn’t fight them as they got her on the gurney.  Gaby looked to Boden.  “Antonio’s on a case.”

“I’ll send Squad to find him.  You worry about getting her to Med.”  Boden went to get Severide to find Antonio.

Gaby got in the back of the Ambo with Sylvie.  “Chout, move it!  Now!”  She grabbed Sylvie’s hand.  “It’s gonna be okay.”

“I’m not having the baby in the back of this ambulance.”  Sylvie breathed through a contraction.

“No, you’re not.”  Gaby laughed.  “We’re almost at Med.”

“What about Antonio?”  Sylvie didn’t want him to miss this.

“Kelly and Squad are looking for him.  Boden called Voight to try and get a hold of him.”

Meanwhile...

Antonio was heading back to his truck where Burgess was waiting when sirens pierced the air.  His head spun around.  “Uh, Burgess... what the fuck is Squad 3 doing here?”

Burgess shrugged.  “No clue.  I haven’t heard about any call outs.”

“Antonio!”  Kelly jumped out of the truck.  “Antonio, you gotta come with us... now!”

“What?  Why?”

“Sylvie’s in labour... they took her to Med.”

Antonio’s heart stopped.  “Burgess... take the truck back to my place... get the go bag that’s by the door and the car seat!”  He tossed her the keys before climbing in the Squad truck.

They got to Med and Antonio hopped out as the truck slowed to a stop.  He raced up the stairs to the Maternity ward.  He crashed into April on the way up.  

“Woah, Detective!  What’s the hurry?”

“Uh...”  Antonio was hyperventilating.  “Sylvie... Baby... brought here.”

“Yeah, I know... slow down, breathe and I’ll take you to her.”  April led him to one of the rooms.

He went in and saw that Gaby was by Sylvie’s side.  “Baby!”

“Antonio!”  Sylvie exclaimed.  “Oh thank God.”

He took her hand and kissed it.  “I’m here... I... I uh, sent Kim to get the bag and the car seat... and hopefully she can pick up the kids... crap... I didn’t...”

“I’ll call her.”  Gaby said.  “You make sure she focuses on her breathing.  Doc says it won’t be much longer now.”

“I was scared you wouldn’t make it.”  Sylvie whispered.

“I’m here.  I didn’t miss Eva or Diego being born, not gonna stop with their little sister.”

Dr. Richards came into the room.  “Okay, Sylvie... I’m gonna check you now.  We may not have time for that epidural you wanted.”

“But...”

“You’re progressing a lot faster than I thought you would, considering this is your first baby.”

“Oh.”  Sylvie leaned back against the pillow.  “Okay...”

“Well... this baby is coming now... so, let’s get Dr. Manning in here and we’re gonna start to push.”  Dr. Richards told April.  “Sylvie, next contraction, push.”

An hour later, a tiny cry pierced the air.  

“Okay, Sylvie, stop pushing.”  Dr. Richards said.  “Okay, she’s here.  You’re beautiful little girl is here.”  She placed the whimpering newborn on her mother’s chest.  “Congratulations.”

Sylvie looked down at their daughter.  “She’s perfect.”

Antonio kissed Sylvie’s forehead.  “She is, and so are you.”

“Detective, wanna do the honours?”  Dr. Richards handed him the scissors to cut the cord.

They took the baby to clean and weigh while Sylvie was being checked out and delivered the afterbirth.  Sylvie was exhausted and dozed off by the time April returned with their daughter.

“Here you go, Daddy.”  April smiled.  “7 pounds even and 20 inches.”

“Wow.”  Antonio said as April placed his baby in his arms.  “She’s beautiful.”

“Your family is here.  They’re eager to meet her.”

“She needs a name first.”  Antonio said, putting his pinky into his daughter’s hand.  She grasped it tightly.  

Sylvie’s sleepy voice caused them to turn.  “Grace... Grace Gabriela.”  She smiled as Antonio came closer.  “Isn’t that what we’d decided on.”

“Yep.”  Antonio kissed his wife.  “You need to rest.”

Sylvie nodded and dozed off again. 

Antonio looked to April.  “I’ll go tell the family.”  He gently carried his daughter to the waiting room.  A hush came over their friends and family that had been waiting.  “Everyone, meet Grace Gabriela Marie Dawson.”

Once everyone had gone, Antonio went back to Sylvie’s room to let her know that they’d have a bunch of visitors the next day.  Sylvie fed Grace and then Antonio took her so that Sylvie could rest some more.  He went to the window and saw the stars twinkling in the night sky.  He looked at his sleeping daughter.  “No one will love you more than God, your mama and me.”  He kissed her tiny cheek before laying her in the basinet and going to the chair next to Sylvie’s bed to sleep.

A/N:  Okay, so that is so much longer than I had planned, but hey!  It’s done.  Please let me know what you think.  Pretty sure this is the longest Brettonio story I’ve done to date.

[danifelt-blog]

200 questions tag

200: My crush’s name is: 
mitch grassi 199: I was born in: ohio 198: I am really: 
idk 197: My cellphone company is: 
sprint 196: My eye color is: 
green/hazel 195: My shoe size is: 
8 194: My ring size is: 
8? 193: My height is: 
5'3 192: I am allergic to: 
cigarette smoke and pet dander 191: My 1st car was: 
i can't drive 190: My 1st job was: 
i never had one 189: Last book you read: 
note to self by connor franta 188: My bed is: 
a bottom bunk ,, not that comfy 187: My pet:
2 cats, gabi and max and fy-sh the fish 186: My best friend: 
idk i have a few 185: My favorite shampoo is: idk what it is 184: Xbox or ps3: 
xbox 183: Piggy banks are: 
cool ig 182: In my pockets: 
nothing 181: On my calendar: nothing i don't fill it out 180: Marriage is: 
fine 179: Spongebob can: 
SAVE MY LIFE,, ITS MY FAVORITE 178: My mom: 
is nice sometimes 177: The last three songs I bought were: 
sign of the times, the ptx ep, fashion by jon bellion 176: Last YouTube video watched: 
"becoming a fidget spinner- pewdiepie" lmao 175: How many cousins do you have? 
7 that i know of 174: Do you have any siblings? 
a sister and brother 173: Are your parents divorced? 
no 172: Are you taller than your mom? 
no 171: Do you play an instrument? 
i kind of can play the keyboard 170: What did you do yesterday? 
went out to eat, showered, did my makeup, went to a party [I BELIEVE IN….] 169: Love at first sight:
yes 168: Luck: 
yes 167: Fate: 
yes 166: Yourself: 
sometimes 165: Aliens: 
100% 164: Heaven: 
yes 163: Hell: 
yes 162: God: 
yes 161: Horoscopes: 
yes 160: Soul mates: 
yes 159: Ghosts: 
yes 158: Gay Marriage: 
yes yes yes 157: War: 
no 156: Orbs: 
yes 155: Magic: 
no [THIS OR THAT] 154: Hugs or Kisses: hugs 153: Drunk or High: 
neither 152: Phone or Online: 
online 151: Red heads or Black haired: 
black haired 150: Blondes or Brunettes: 
brunettes 149: Hot or cold:
cold 148: Summer or winter: 
summer 147: Autumn or Spring:
autumn 146: Chocolate or vanilla: 
vanilla 145: Night or Day: 
night 144: Oranges or Apples: 
apple's 143: Curly or Straight hair: 
straight 142: McDonalds or Burger King: 
mcdonald's 141: White Chocolate or Milk Chocolate: 
milk chocolate 140: Mac or PC: 
mac 139: Flip flops or high heels: 
flip flops 138: Ugly and rich OR sweet and poor: 
doesn't matter 137: Coke or Pepsi: 
coke 136: Hillary or Obama: 
obama 135: Buried or cremated:
buried 134: Singing or Dancing:
singing 133: Coach or Chanel: 
chanel 132: Kat McPhee or Taylor Hicks: 
who?? 131: Small town or Big city:
big city 130: Wal-Mart or Target: 
target 129: Ben Stiller or Adam Sandler: adam sandler 128: Manicure or Pedicure: 
manicure 127: East Coast or West Coast: 
uh i live in east but i wanna be in west :( 126: Your Birthday or Christmas:
christmas 125: Chocolate or Flowers: 
flowers 124: Disney or Six Flags: 
disney 123: Yankees or Red Sox:
idc [HERE’S WHAT I THINK ABOUT] 122: War: 
scares me stop please 121: George Bush: 
don't care 120: Gay Marriage:
yes 100% support it 119: The presidential election: 
disappointing 118: Abortion: 
pro choice 117: MySpace:
uh idk 116: Reality TV:
don't watch tv 115: Parents:
mine are cool 114: Back stabbers:
i know too many 113: Ebay: 
outdated and weird 112: Facebook:
i spend too much time on it 111: Work:
i don't work but i mean its cool 110: My Neighbors: i have new neighbors on both sides of my house i don't mind them 109: Gas Prices: they're okay ? idk i don't drive i don't pay attention 108: Designer Clothes:
im broke 107: College: 
i hope i can go 106: Sports: 
no thank you 105: My family: 
chill i guess 104: The future: idk [LAST TIME I….] 103: Hugged someone: 
yesterday 102: Last time you ate:
an hour ago 101: Saw someone I haven’t seen in awhile:
yesterday 100: Cried in front of someone: 
friday, at a cat commercial 99: Went to a movie theater: 
friday 98: Took a vacation: 
2 years ago 97: Swam in a pool: 
a year ago 96: Changed a diaper: 
never have 95: Got my nails done: 
a month and 1/2 ago 94: Went to a wedding: 
never been to one 93: Broke a bone:
never have 92: Got a piercing: 
never have 91: Broke the law: 
not sure 90: Texted: 
like a few hours ago 89: Who makes you laugh the most:
idk 88: Something I will really miss when I leave home is: 
my cats 87: The last movie I saw:
everything, every thing 86: The thing that I’m looking forward to the most: summer vacation ( 4 days..,) and all the plans i have 85: The thing I’m not looking forward to: exams this week 84: People call me:
emily 83: The most difficult thing to do is: idk 82: I have gotten a speeding ticket: 
no 81: My zodiac sign is: 
aries 80: The first person i talked to today was: 
ryan 79: First time you had a crush:
idk 78: The one person who i can’t hide things from:
all my friends they find out everything 🤦🏼‍♀️ 77: Last time someone said something you were thinking: 
yesterday 76: Right now I am talking to: 
no one 75: What are you going to do when you grow up: 
i want to get into cosmetology 74: I have/will get a job: 
next year probably 73: Tomorrow: 
have to go to school and take two exams 72: Today: 
woke up, ate, watched spongebob 71: Next Summer:
this summer? uh idk im going to teen camp, seeing pentatonix, yuhhh 70: Next weekend: not sure yet 69: I have these pets:
2 cats and a fish 68: The worst sound in the world: 
babies crying 67: The person that makes me cry the most is: 
mitch grassi 66: People that make you happy: 
a lot of people 65: Last time I cried: 
friday at the movies 64: My friends are: cool 🤷🏼‍♀️ 63: My computer is: 
don't have one 62: My School: 
stebbins 61: My Car: 
don't have one 60: I lose all respect for people who: 
are homophobic, transphobic, racist, etc 59: The last movie I cried at was:
everything everything 58: Your hair color is: 
brunette 57: TV shows you watch: 
spongebob dude 56: Favorite web site:
facebook 55: Your dream vacation: 
californiaaa 54: The worst pain I was ever in was: 
idk 53: How do you like your steak cooked: 
don't like steak 52: My room is: 
kinda messy, boring 51: My favorite celebrity is: 
harry styles bro 50: Where would you like to be: 
washington, it's always rainy 49: Do you want children: 
no 48: Ever been in love: 
no 47: Who’s your best friend:
i have a few 46: More guy friends or girl friends: 
girl friends 45: One thing that makes you feel great is: 
sleeping 44: One person that you wish you could see right now: 
m i t c h g r a s s i 43: Do you have a 5 year plan: 
what's that 42: Have you made a list of things to do before you die: 
no 41: Have you pre-named your children: 
no 40: Last person I got mad at: 
idk 39: I would like to move to: 
california 38: I wish I was a professional: 
mua [MY FAVORITES….] 37: Candy:
reese's 36: Vehicle:
idc 35: President: 
obama 34: State visited:
tennessee i guess, i don't really remember it though 33: Cellphone provider: 
sprint 32: Athlete: 
idc 31: Actor: 
don't have one 30: Actress: 
don't have one 29: Singer: 
i have a lot but ; dodie clark, everyone from ptx 28: Band: 
panic! at the disco 27: Clothing store: 
h&m is nice ? forever 21 26: Grocery store: meijer? idk 25: TV show: 
i like shameless before i kinda stopped watching it 24: Movie:
idk fault in our stars never gets old 23: Website: 
facebook 22: Animal: 
cats 21: Theme park: 
kings island 20: Holiday:
christmas 19: Sport to watch: 
football ?? idk 18: Sport to play: volleyball i suck tho 17: Magazine: 
i don't read them 16: Book: 
again tfious 15: Day of the week: 
friday 14: Beach: 
never been to one 13: Concert attended: 
i really liked the one direction concert but the most lit melanie martinez bc i got to go with my pals 12: Thing to cook: 
i don't really cook 11: Food: 
pasta 10: Restaurant: 
chipotle 9: Radio station: 
channel 99.9 8: Yankee candle scent: cotton candy or salt water taffy 7: Perfume:
ari by ariana grande 6: Flower: 
roses 5: Color:
black 4: Talk show host: ellen 3: Comedian: 
i don't have one 2: Dog breed: 
golden retrievers 1: Did you answer all these truthfully? 
probably not

[privateauthor-blog]

Guilty

At class Kya cant take her mind off about her best friend cheating with her ex, when she was still together. “Miss Kya, I think your mind isn’t here. Could you please tell me what article in the ILC about sovereignty?” Mr Charles asked her suddenly “I don’t know sir” “get out from my class, you all know what happened if you don’t know the answer to my questions” Kya packed her books and went out, and then she goes to her apartment.

“you home early” Fery said “I got kicked out from Mr. Charles’s class” “why?” she laid her head on Fery’s shoulders and close her eyes “hey are you okay?” Fery asked “I think so” “did you get the roses today?” “yes, from Gabi” “did you get another one?” “no” “good” actually after Kya ran to class, Fery asked Gabi “did you really do that?” “do what?” “kissed him?” “what? She knows” “she knows everything” “why didn’t she tell me?” “she keep it herself” “she’s strong” and Gabi just walked away, when Fery about to go Axe shouted “Fery” so Fery put his helmet and he didn’t say nothing “stay off of my girl, or you will get it” Axe said “get what?” “what you deserve” “how about what she deserve?” “none of your business” “it is now” “get down from your bike and lets settle this the old fashioned way��� “I am not gonna fight you” “pussy” “thanks” and then Fery kicked Axe’s balls and said “stop sending her white roses, she forgive you and if you keep sending flowers, its not just your balls that I will kicked its your pretty face too” Axe just ran and Fery head home. “need coffee?” Fery asked Kya “yes please, with a shot of vodka” “if you need some shots just do the shots, if you need coffee drink coffee don’t do both” “okay, coffee it is” and then Fery went to the kitchen and make some coffee for them, when he went back to the living room, Kya was asleep so Fery picked her up and put her to her bed “stay” Kya said “what?” “stay, keep me warm” Fery sleep beside her and hugged her “always”.

Gabi opened Kya’s room “wheres everybo..” she saw her brother was sleeping while hugging Kya, Gabi slowly closed the door and sat in the living room, suddenly Fery come out from Kya’s room “good sex?” Gabi asked “I will never” “yeah right” “if you had a bad day don’t give those attitude to me” “or what? Call mom?” Fery just walked away to his room “yes just walked away like dad did” Gabi said “but I will never cheated with my best friend’s husband like mom did” “don’t say shit about mom” “youre the one who started it” “it was never her fault” Gabi started to cried, Fery walked to her and hugged her “we have to be real, dad knows the truth, that’s the reason he walked away and I know the truth that’s why I go with him, you know the truth but you denied it and blamed it on someone else lilke youre doing right now Gab” Gabi just keep on crying “come on stop crying and apologize, if she don’t accept your apology that’s okay, its better to say than to keep it to yourself” and then Fery walked her to her room and put her blankets on her “thank you” Gabi said “no problem” “I don’t know what I do if youre never here for me” “I always be there for you, that’s what families are for” Fery closed her doors and went to sleep.

In the morning, Fery cooked some chicken and potatoes for breakfast “Muchacas wake up and eat breakfast” Kya and Gabi come out from their rooms and sat down at the table “eat you guys” Fery said, but Kya was so lazy to talked to Gabi and Gabi feel so guilty about what she did “I’m sorry” Gabi said and Kya just keep eating “Ky, I’m sorry” Kya remains silence “cant you hear me?” “I can hear you” Kya said “so?” “youre expecting me to accept it now? After what you did? This is bullshit” Kya stand up and was about to go “sit down, I cooked you eat until it’s finished, finish your foods and your problems here, you cannot go until you all finished it now” snapped Fery, Kya sat down instantly “I know I did that, I know that you cant forgive me” said Gabi “I already forgive you” “thanks” Gabi smiled “see, now we can have a great family” said Fery.

After an intense breakfast, Fery knocked on Kya’s door and come in “hey, are you okay?” Fery asked “yes” “no youre not” Kya just smiled “come on don’t do that” Fery hugged him and tickle her, and then they looked each other in the eyes and kissed with best part by Daniel Caesar ft H.E.R playing on. They stopped when Gabi knocked on Kya’s door, and then Fery opened the door “careful she’s fragile” Fery said and Gabi just smiled, Gabi sat on Kya’s bed “im sorry booboo” “me too cray” and then they hugged “we good?” Gabi asked “of course” “okay, I need some information about you two” “me two? With who? Kya asked but she’s smiling so big “you know you and fff” “don’t you dare speak his name” “Fery” Gabi screamed and suddenly Fery comes in “what?” “were you listening behind the door?” Gabi asked “geez of course no” Gabi and Kya suddenly laughed “since you girls are good now, can we have an ice cream?” Fery asked them “I have to go” Gabi said “where?” asked Kya “sleep, bye you birds”.

In the car, Kya and Fery were both embarrassed “this is awkward” said Kya “I know, thank god we’re here” Fery said and then when they both got off the car, Fery hold Kya’s hand “what are you doing?” asked Kya “see the girl in the red dress?” “yes” “that’s my ex” “she’s pretty” “jealous?” asked Fery with a smile “jeez, no” said Kya and then Fery kissed her in the lips and whisper to her ears “stay with me and I’ll stay forever” they both smiled when their eyes meet. “hey Fery, thanks for coming” “yes sure” “so, who is this young woman?” “Kya, this is Leivy. Leivy, Kya” “nice to meet y..” “she’s pretty, bye” Leivy suddenly go, Kya and Fery laughed at each other “come on let’s go” Fery said “where?” “I don’t know”.

Fery took her to the airport “I didn’t bring my passport” said Kya “that’s okay, I bring yours” they just smiled like no one was looking, but actually the guy in the next car was confused like why were they smiling about? And they just smiled no talking at all.

[purplesurveys]

810

What was the last thing you bought, other than food? A couple of new tops.

What colour was the ink of the last pen you wrote with? Black, which is the only color I choose to write with unless I have no other choice but to go with another one.

Is there anything you have too much or too many of? Time. I’ve had a looooooot of it since March. It was nice at first but now I’m just itching to drive, to dine out, see friends, stay out late...basically just be out of the house, and not for emergencies.

Have you seen your ex recently? I don’t have an ex, and even if Gabie counts as one I also haven’t seen her in a while.

Have you ever had a crush on a teacher? Tell me about him/her. Lol yes, so embarrassing. I was in Grade 5 and he was our science teacher; he’s around 16 years older. A former friend humiliated me by telling him I wanted to have sex with him and that I kept around a photo of him in my wallet – keep in mind we were 11 at the time – and since then I was never able to look him in the eye. I also never talked to that friend again. Recently he got exposed by a student who used to date him because he apparently made that girl check his exam papers lol, it was a hilarious mess.

Do you have highlighter pens in your pencil case? Yesssss, I have a bunch of highlighters because I love em and I love highlighting my readings. I got six pastel highlighters as a Christmas gift from Aya, but I also went ahead and bought an additional four months later just because.

What were you doing 90 minutes ago? I was watching a longplay of a childhood game I used to play on the PS2, the Spongebob movie game. It’s eight hours long so I’m also taking lots of breaks in between, like right now.

Who was the last person you Facebook messaged? Do you know what that person is doing at this moment? Gabie. She is fast asleep.

Do you find it difficult or painful to talk about your past experiences in relationships? I don’t bring up low points or bad fights that we’ve had to other people, but if others wanna know what went down during our breakup, I won’t hesitate to share.

Does/did the last person you text messaged go to the same school as you? No, she goes to school in a different city.

Does the person you love/like have a job? Not yet but she’s currently doing her internship.

Who was the last person to make you cry with laughter? Been a while since I’ve been that happy. I doubt it was a person responsible...it was probably a show I was watching and it was most likely The Return of Superman.

Do you still like to eat ice-cream in the winter? I sometimes like eating ice cream when the weather is cold, yes. But we don’t get winter.

What colour are the eyes of the last person that held your hand? Dark brown.

When was the last time you planned to do something, but didn’t get round to it? Why? Start on a new kdrama. I take forever to get around to starting on a new series in general. I don’t know why; it’s just like that with me.

Have you kissed more than one person since the start of 2020? No thanks. I’m happy kissing just my girlfriend.

Think back to the last time you cried, or felt like crying. Who or what helped you to feel better? The Big Bang Theory.

Do you own any accessories with your name or initial on them? Uh...my school ID? Lmao. Other than that, no.

Is there someone of the opposite sex that knows everything, or almost everything, about you? No.

Do you remember the last time you cried because you missed someone? I don’t remember the exact last time, but I’m sure it was because I was missing Nacho. I really, really wish he was still around.

Are your eyes the same colour as your sibling(s)? Yeup.

Have you used any heated appliances on your hair today? No, just your regular ol’ shampoo and conditioner.

[purplesurveys]

720

WHO was the last person...

you spoke to, in person? It was my mom. She went down around 20 minutes ago to make a couple of sandwiches for herself and dad. The quarantine has made our body clocks completely bonkers and it’ll be typical to see either parent go downstairs at 12 or 1 in the morning to make a meal.

you called? I rang up Gab fiveish minutes ago so we can do a video call on Messenger.

that called you? My mom called me from downstairs the other day to reprimand me about something I said on Facebook cause she said it might offend some of my relatives lol.

you texted? I haven’t texted in a hot fuckin’ minute. I’ve only been at home in the last month, so there’s been little need to spend on load for my phone when I can communicate with classmates and family from online anyway.

that sent you a text? My dad. He texted me that breakfast was ready so that he didn’t need to go into my bedroom, which I’m highkey thankful for. My mom would just burst into the room, pull up my window shade so the sunlight can come in, and yell in a loud voice so I wake up. It’s never improved my mood in all the times she’s done it so I dunno why she continues doing it.

you kissed? Gab, but that was a month ago ugh.

that kissed you? Also her.

you yelled at? My mom. She was yelling at me, so I yelled at her as well because two can play at that game now.

that yelled at you? ^

you watched a movie with? I watched Two for the Road by myself last night but as for companions, the last one I had was Gabie when we watched Titanic a few months ago.

you ate dinner with? My family. We eat dinner together every night, at least whenever my dad is back home in the country.

you were in a photo with? Also family. I haven’t been in a photo with anyone other than them in a while...

you took a photo of? That would be my dog. I don’t take photos of people these days, mostly because I’m unable to.

you went to a concert with? I went to my Paramore gig by myself since I couldn’t find anyone who had front row seats like me, but on the day of the concert itself, Denise, Erycka, and Leigh (who were all also going to the show but got cheaper seats) asked to hitch a ride with me. Gabie was also present but that’s only because she was excited for me and wanted to be around for that experience of mine.

you lied to? Probably a schoolmate that I had told I was busy even though I wasn’t and I just didn’t want to work that time.

you invited somewhere? I think Blanch? I told her we should go to Ayala Museum once we can go out again so she can see the prehistoric gold exhibit that they have.

you dated? Just my current girlfriend.

you dumped? I haven’t dumped anyone.

you rejected? Uh... technically Mike. There weren’t any words said, no closure or whatever, but I think we both knew and understood that he liked me but I let him find out for himself that I had already gotten back with my ex. Back then I was still horrible at the confrontation thing and didn’t know how to break it to him.

you held hands with? Gab, over a month ago.

you hugged? Same answer.

you let cry on your shoulder? Egh, I’m only mentally capable of doing this for Gabie. I can let people rant to me but it’s personally not good for my own mental health if I had people crying to me all the time.

that let you cry on their shoulder? Technically it was my dog. But the last person was either Angela or Gab, I don’t really remember.

you bought a gift for? I don’t remember aaaahhhhh. It was probably a Valentine’s gift though.

you wished a happy birthday? Luisa.

that disappointed you? Some distant relative who had recently added me on Facebook then, only for me to see her pro-government posts. I never unfriended someone so quickly.

that stayed over at your place? Ralph, my sister’s now ex-boyfriend. Never liked the guy and am so glad they broke up, I never did like seeing him around in our house hah. that let you crash at their place? Gabie, but only to have dinner and work. that made you angry? My mom told me personal insults over a chore I did wrong a few days ago and it made me really angry. that complimented you? Andrew and I exchanged compliments when we needed pick-me-ups sometime last week. whom you complimented? ^ you thanked? My dad, when I saw him baking chocolate chip cookies a while ago after I had nagged him all week to make some. that thanked you? Mom. She asked me to fetch her something. you saw, in person? Right now I can see my sister on the couch. I think she’s watching an anime or playing some game on her laptop. that bought you something? Now hasn’t really been the time to ask for non-essential stuff, but my dad did buy me my requested soju a few weeks ago. that made you laugh? My sister I think? My family watched an online mass livestream earlier and my mom wanted to try out an American Catholic church after my grand-aunt (who lives in the States) recommended that specific parish. ANYWAY so of course their accent was very different to what we’re used to, and my sister’s fazed reaction to how they said one of the words made me laugh. that you said you loved? Gab. that said they loved you? My mom. you flipped off? Haven’t done this to anyone in a whiiiiileeeeee. you made a silly face at? It would always be just my dog but person-wise I don’t even remember anymore. that drove you somewhere? Dad drove me and my mom to the local columbarium last month.

WHAT was the last thing you...

touched? Other than the keyboard and trackpad, I used a spoon to eat some of the raw cookie dough my dad had prepared heh.

threw? Second day I’m trying to finish this survey lol. I just took the last piece of painkillers to treat my headache, so I threw the packaging like 30 seconds ago.

ate? Shrimp pasta that my mom made for dinner.

drank? Coffee.

found stuck in your teeth? Idk, bits of food that I don’t really keep track of.

cooked? :( Never cooked a full meal ever but the last thing I *helped* my dad with was breading the meat he was gonna use to make pork chop haha.

baked? Chocolate chip cookies two years ago. I remember it distinctly because I never bake.

bought? Man I haven’t bought anything in forever. I’m thinking about it and it’s probably something I bought for lunch at school? The only thing I buy is food anyway so I’m pretty sure I’m at least on the right track.

sold? I'm not much of an entrepreneur. 

took a photo of? My dog with a cold compress on top of his head. The weather is starting to be unforgiving so I’ve been allotting my own compress for Kimi so that he doesn’t feel overheated.

were frustrated with? My mom telling us we had to watch a mass livestream this morning -_____- I thought she was only gonna make us ‘attend’ the Lenten masses i.e. Palm Sunday and Easter Sunday, but it’s past Lent and she’s still making us do it. I’m guessing it’s gonna be routine every Sunday now, ugh.

broke? I don’t tinker much for the very reason that I tend to break everything I touch. That being said, I haven’t broken anything in a while.

spilled? I have a fear of spilling stuff because my mom has always reacted negatively to that. Yay for trauma!

tripped on? A piece of bone that my dog had left on the floor. It felt like stepping on a goddamn Lego.

kicked? My blanket when I started feeling too warm inside my room.

put batteries in? I haven’t used batteries in ages.

turned on? I opened my laptop to continue this survey.

turned off? My Nintendo Switch, when I didn’t feel like playing anymore.

wrote? A survey, if anything. I haven’t had to write anything ever since they suspended online classes.

wrote on? I think it was my sister’s notebook.

cleaned? Myself? I just took a bath if that counts.

WHERE was the last place you...

dined at? I’m pretty sure it was Yabu. Gab and I went out for dinner on the last Monday before the lockdown, didn’t see each other all week, then by Saturday when we saw each other again we just had dinner at her place. So it’s gotta be Yabu.

ordered something to go? A local sushi place and a local pizza place, a week ago. My dad was too lazy to cook that evening so we got takeout instead.

bought something? The local milk tea place that we have in school and Rodic’s. I got myself milk tea, and I got my dad my favorite meal from Rodic’s, tapsilog.

cried? My room, I think.

felt uncomfortable? Just the house cause I haven’t been anywhere in a month.

drove to? My girlfriend’s school and then her house.

had an appointment at? Eye doctor at SM Marikina.

went on vacation? Tagaytay and then we moved to Cavite the day after so that we got to maximize the time that we had to have a staycation.

hung out with a friend? The 30th. Ughhhhh I miss the mall.

bought clothes? Feliz, at an independent clothing stall at one of the top floors.

spent more than you had planned? Feliz then I even had the audacity to move to The 30th to spend more lmaooooo AND THAT WAS A MONDAY. I was so bad at saving money skksks.

saw a band/singer/musician perform? One of the local arenas in Manila so I can watch Paramore.

WHEN was the last time you...

told someone 'I love you'? A little over an hour ago I think.

cried? I don’t remember.

laughed? A few hours ago, maybe? I always laugh when I come across a dumb meme on Facebook.

left your home? March 10th. Really not a good time to be asking that question lol.

drank a soda/pop? Sometime in February when my org had an event and the only drink being served was Coke. I was extremely hungry/thirsty that evening so I had no problem chugging soda down, even though it was so unpleasant.

made your bed? This morning.

visited a doctor? March 9th.

went to the emergency room? I’ve never had to go to the emergency room except for the time I was being delivered.

kissed someone? The last weekend before the lockdown. Man, I had no idea how lame/sad my answers were going to be lmaooo I really should have thought that through before starting a “when was the last time you” survey.

hugged someone? Also a month ago. I’m not a hugger in the family but I do hug my friends a lot.

prayed? Sometime when I was 9 or 10 years old.

worked out? Last semester when my PE was actually focused on working out instead of a sport.

made a phone call? This afternoon. My mom got me load for my phone (after a month of not having any!!!) just because, so I surprised Gab by calling her.

answered a phone? Last night.

had an argument? A few days ago.

played a video game? A little over an hour ago. I was playing Mario Kart 8.

played a card game? It wasn’t necessarily a card game but last January at Rita’s place, she took out a deck, asked us to pick certain cards, and then told us about our relationships and the issues that lurk beneath it based on the cards that were left hahahaha. Of course I think the strategy itself is bullshit but Rita speaks well and is a psych student, so we still ended up having a good conversation after hearing the verdict for mine.

played a board game? Ages ago. I can’t even tell you how long it’s been.

rode a bike? Around a month ago. I told myself I was gonna learn how to ride a bike during the quarantine, but it’s been so hot outside these days that it’s so easy to run out of enthusiasm for it.

fell on your butt? I don’t remember.

took a shower? In the last hour.

took a bubble bath? A year ago, maybe longer.

watched TV? I asked dad to watch El Camino with me on my his and my mom’s TV when it came out, so that would be last October.

saw a movie at a theater? December. It was for Knives Out.

ate fast food? 3-4 weeks ago if I’m not mistaken.

ordered a pizza? A couple of weeks ago. We tried Angel’s Pizza for a change and it turned out to be loads better than Pizza Hut which tends to be our usual.

made someone laugh? I probably made a few people laugh off of the few memes I shared today, so there’s that.

sang? Like a half hour ago. Hayley from Paramore shared a clip of the band performing Hard Times to celebrate the song turning 3 and it turns out the gig was from their show in Manila, so I hurriedly clicked on the video and sang along.

played a musical instrument? It’s been many months since I last used the keyboard.

read a book? A month-ish ago.

drove a car? My dad asked me to move my car to a different spot sometime last week, which felt so surreal as I hadn’t driven in a few weeks. It felt so weird driving again and I had to drive in a crawl to get accustomed to being in the driver’s seat again.

went swimming? August 2019, at a beach in Nasugbu.

got a sunburn? Haven’t gotten a sunburn since I was little.

went to church or temple? First week of March.

went shopping? I don’t really remember but it was one of the last few weekends before the lockdown.

drank alcohol? Two weeks ago.

smoked a cigarette? Sometime in March, the same night when my friends and I went to BGC to party. When everyone else went home, Gab and I stayed for a bit, strolled around The Palace, and had a smoke while watching everyone else around us get crazy wasted.

threw up? Sometime last year. I haven’t drunk too much recently.

had a headache? Tonight.

had a cold? Maybe last year or a couple of years ago. I don’t get colds a lot.

had the flu? Probably not since I was little. I’ve gotten fevers in the last few years but that was all there was to it. I’ve never been sick and had cough and colds at the same time, at least not for a very long time.

had your hair cut? A week before the lockdown -____- Barely anyone got to see my bangs and I’ll always be disappointed about that hahaha.

dyed your hair? Never.

laughed so hard that you cried? I remember watching a hilarious clip on Facebook of this lady who had a contagious fucking laugh, I think it was a week ago or a little over that.

[purplesurveys]

704

Have you ever purposely made someone jealous? Yes. Back when Gab and I broke up and I knew she was regretting it, I used to pettily walk past her classroom often so that she saw how happy I was doing lol. Would you rather kiss the last person you called or the last person who came to your house? Called. Do you have a lot of clothes you never wear? Kinda. They’re all at the bottom of the pile in my closet, so they’ve stayed untouched for a while. Have you ever had to crawl through a window? I don’t remember having to do so, nope.

Describe what you did yesterday. Ok so it’s technically Wednesday now so I’ll describe what happened ~yesterday. Like the other days of the quarantine it was pretty uneventful, but the highlights were me doing a 48-race marathon on Mario Kart 8 and my mom making corndogs and wicked Oreos.

Have you ever slept at a member of the opposite sex's house? Nah, none of my guy friends have ever invited me or a bunch of our friends for a sleepover. Have you ever hooked up with someone to hurt someone else? Nah but something close. I was considering getting with Mike but to this day I’m still not sure if it’s because I wanted a rebound and make Gab jealous, or if I was genuinely interested in him and I wanted to see how it would’ve panned out. Are your eyes the same color as your mom's or dad's? We all have dark brown eyes. Do any of your relatives actually pinch your cheeks when they see you? The aunts who used to take care of me as a baby, yes. What was your last family gathering for? Christmas. Name the closest pink object to you. No pink anything in the dining room. Have you ever made a member of the opposite sex cry? Only my brother, I think. If you were to kiss the last person whose house you were at what do you think they would do? Kiss me back. Have you started Christmas shopping yet? That’s some hella preparation. No.

Will you see the person you last laughed with in the next couple days? I won’t see anyone other than my family for 22 more days, how’s that? Have you ever asked someone out? What did they say? Yeah, she said yes both times. Would you rather a salad or McDonald's? A salad, but it has to be spicy tuna salad or I’m not taking it. Do you know the last person you kissed parents'? That’s a unique way to phrase that question lmao, but yeah. My girlfriend and I are legal with them, and we have a decent relationship. Do they like you? ^ Yeah, but I’m still super insecure about it. We’ve never bonded but we have a healthy relationship, and at least they don’t actively hate me.

Name a couple things you can cook. :( How did you meet the last person you kissed? We were introduced by mutual friends in our old school. Who was there to help you last time you were puking? Gabie but she didn’t help me while I was puking - she took photos of me :(

Are there any boxes of tissues in your room? What's the design on it? Not a box of tissues but we have a roll of napkins that’s on a napkin holder. No design, it just looks like this but without the wood.

What DVD is in your DVD player right now? I have not used a DVD nor a DVD player in a VERY long time, but I’m willing to bet the last thing I popped in to watch was CM Punk’s Best in the World documentary. Have you ever borrowed something and never returned it? A couple of books... and the reason I wasn’t able to return them was because the owner either changed schools or migrated altogether without giving me a heads-up, so not entirely my fault HAHAHA. Are you in high school? When are you done? I’ve been done for four years. Do you and the last person you got mad at have any inside jokes? Tons. Has the last person you had at your house seen you cry? The last person who visited overall (not necessarily my visitor) was my sister’s then-boyfriend, now-ex (and thank god, because I never liked hiim). He has never seen me cry. But my last visitor was Gabie and she’s seen me cry hundreds of times. Is the last person you have a text from a virgin? Nope. Are you embarassed to say if you're a virgin or not? No. Have you ever met someone you thought you'd be with forever? Sure. ^Where are you two now? Dating. Has your best friend ever been in love? Yep, with me. My other best friend has also been in love. Do you wish you had any more siblings? Noooooooo. Having two is enough. I’ve always thought three was the ideal maximum number of kids to have, anyway. Have you ever kissed a friends' sibling? No. The most I’ve done was beso-beso, and that’s really more of a greeting than a kiss. What was the last magazine you bought? I used to collect magazine issues where my favorite celebrities would be a cover on, so the last one I bought was most likely one of these: Vogue, Harper’s Bazaar, Elle, or Vanity Fair. Will the last person you kissed get you anything for your next birthday? We won’t be seeing each other on my birthday again this year. This time the lockdown will be covering my birthday, so it’ll be a lowkey celebration with family this time around. What was the last fast food you got? We had Jollibee takeout a couple of weeks ago. Have you ever caught anything on fire by accident? Nope and I wouldn’t wanna be caught in that situation lol, I’m terrified of fire. Do you think Family Guy is funny or just stupid? The episodes I caught were either funny or too political/too big of an American reference for me to understand. I don’t remember thinking it was stupid. If you could only watch one TV show, what would it be? FRIENDS. That’s what it feels like I’m doing, anyway. Have you ever had a boyfriend or girlfriend cheat on you? Nope. Have you ever stayed with someone who treated you like shit just because you liked them so much? No, never been in this situation. Would you date someone all your friends and family hate? Idk it would depend on my existing relationship with the person. If it was Gabie they turned out to hate I’d tell them to fuck off. If it was a new person I still barely knew, it’d probably be easy to let them go. What does your last text say? It was telling me the PIN for a new app I was signing up for. Are you already looking foward to your wedding? I look forward to the *idea* but I don’t have any concrete plans for now, for sure. How is your heart lately? Missing my girlfriend and restaurants, but at least it’s not doing as bad as I thought it would. Have you been surprised in the past week? Yeah. In the last two days I’ve had to hear of a couple deaths - Angela’s grandma (who I always saw and greeted when visiting her place) and my grandaunt. Not the shocks I wanted to get, but yeah. Does the person you like know that you like them? Yes, for a very long time now. Have you ever spit on someone? Nope. Would the last person you argued with visit you if you were in the hospital? Yes, she’d be one of the first ones there. Don`t you just cringe when you see orange-tanned people. I do. I don’t cringe, I just find it silly seeing how they try so hard. Do you think this weekend will be a good one? It’s gonna be a meh one like the last few weekends have been. Would you rather cuddle or make out? At this point, both. Has your best friend ever been cheated on? Nope.

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What song are you listening to right now? I’m not listening to anything but the last song I played was Violet by Daniel Caesar; I don’t actually know the song but it was part of a playlist on Spotify. Admit it -- you want a Snuggie. What design/color? I don’t even know what that is, but if it came in pink I’d want one. Do you prefer movies at home or movies at the theatre? Home is cozier and costs much less, haha. How many songs does your iTunes have? Ooh, I haven’t used my iTunes in like half a decade buuuut I think it peaked with around 400-500 songs? Idk, I didn’t explore much as a kid and I liked to stick with my favorite singers/bands. Do you take a shower in the morning or the night before? When I’m off school I like to shower at night - much more comfy that way, and I fall asleep faster. But when I have to leave the house whether to go to school, the mall, to crash at someone’s place, etc. I always bathe a few hours before. Always. I hateeeeee not feeling fresh when I go outside.

What's your academic niche? (History, math, science, etc.) History for sure, but there are some science topics I’m also okay in. Who's your youngest teacher? They’re all already pretty seasoned lol I can’t actually tell. I think it’s Ma’am Cai; welp, at least among my current professors, she’s the one that acts the youngest. Have you ever had the samples people offer you at Costco? I’ve never been in a Costco but I typically don’t get samples from our local groceries because idk, they just look nasty :/ The only samples I get are the free ones they hand over at Starbucks and Coffee Bean, haha. If you had to name your kid after a food, what would his/her name be? I’d take olives and turn it to Olivia, which was always my choice for a girl anyway. But if it really had to be food-inspired I’d go with... Brie for a girl, or Sage for a boy. Miley Cyrus: Inspirational role model or a ho? Get with the times, 2009 survey. This question won’t get away with that word today. Anyway, Miley is a badass. I never changed my mind about her, maybe except for that time she did that performance with Robin Thicke. Are you stressed about anything? Right now no. I’m on a six-week break, I wanna enjoy it without thinking about the stuff that would typically stress me out. When's the last time you had a rock, paper, scissors match? It’s been a few months. What's your favorite anime? I don’t watch anime... the only show I got into was Pokemon. Did you cry when Ash let his Butterfree go with the other Butterfrees? I vaguely remember that but I probably got sad over it when I was younger. Don't you hate it when Facebook auto-corrects your smiley faces and hearts? I don’t mind it. Skinny, flared, ripped, or faded jeans? Ugh I hate all of these. I have a lot of skinny jeans in my closet but they’re always a last resort - my go-to these days is mom jeans. What are you excited for? Meh, nothing in particular. I wanna say my birthday? but who knows what the world is gonna come to be by then. Are you part of the Farmville cult? No I never played. I wasn’t allowed to make a Facebook account at the time when games like that and Petville and Plants vs. Zombies were big. What were you for Halloween? Last year I went as Dora. AND IT WAS SO ANNOYING because the party we were invited to prohibited shorts??? And 1) Dora wore shorts and 2) I searched far and wide for a pair of orange shorts? It was the first time I heard of a dress code that strict for a college party lmao I couldn’t believe it. Thankfully Rita had just bought a pair of orange jeans so she let me borrow those. Have you ever had braces? Back in high school. What year of high school are you in? I am not. What's your favorite flower? Peonies. Would you ever bleach your hair? Probably not. My hair has faced enough damage. Have you ever stood on a frozen solid body of water? No. That sounds scary though. I’ve heard and watched people fall through ice :/ Would you ever take up smoking or drinking? I’m already doing both. Thanks, college and peer pressure! Do those girls with 1,000 friends on Facebook REALLY have that many? I dunno, who knows? It’s always possible. I have a bigger problem with the fact that this question just singled out girls lmao. What holiday is your birthday closest to? Uhh Earth Hour, if it counts? If not, we have Araw ng Kagitingan on April 9 which commemorates the Fall of Bataan during WWII. Are you cyberdyslexic? Is this even a thing? I’ve never heard of this until today. Are you regular dyslexic? No. Is there irregular dyslexia? :((( What would your name be if you were a boy? I don’t know. My parents didn’t think about this either I think. Which person from way back when would you love to hang out with? My great grandpa. Either him or his cousin who wrote a book on history. What color are your eyes? Dark brownnnnnnn ugh this will FOREVER be in surveys won’t it. The forever on-going question: Is Twilight stupid or actually brilliant? It’s so stupid. BUT I LOVE IT ok.  Did you carve pumpkins for Halloween this year? No. We don’t do that here. Does your family use a real pine tree or a plastic one for Christmas? I think most households here use artificial trees. I was already a little old when I found out other countries would use real trees. Do you know anyone with a play-on name? (Chris P. Bacon, Justin Case, etc.) Not personally but super recently someone named their kid COVID BRYANT and it was all over social media for a few days. Covid Bryant. Let that shit sink in. Only Filipinos, man. Do you have any foreign exchange students at your school? Yeah, mostly Koreans and Japanese people. If you had a week to live, what would you do? I don’t have much of a choice, do I... I’m gonna be stuck at home and do the stuff I’ve already been doing in the last three weeks, and just hope I had fun.

Are you good at brain teasers? Some, but I don’t enjoy doing them in general. Is your handwriting nice? I can handle a pen pretty well, if I do say so myself. I have a neater penmanship than most people I know. What's your second language? English.  Is it uncomfortable for you to take showers in glass stalls w/out curtains? Not really but the door has to be locked. Finish the sentence: Remember, remember... The fifth of November? I dunno why I know about that though. Did you understand Shakespeare? No. I always bought the No Fear Shakespeare editions cos I had absolutely no patience to try and understand the original text. What do you want to be when you're older? Rich. What's your favorite dog breed? Golden retriever or pitbull. Are you one of those people who take like, 50 Facebook quizzes at a time? I’ve never taken a Facebook quiz. What was the last shot you got? It was at the roof of my mouth, back when I had a tooth extraction. Ever gotten cavities? A few times. Can you differentiate between the words "your" and "you're?" Yes. Do you use hair ties as bracelets? Lmao always. Don’t most girls do this? What was the last school project you did that you couldn't wait to turn in? My book report for my business journalism class. After I proofread it like 6 times and triple-checked the word count, I couldn’t waitttt to get rid of it. Have you ever graded papers? Sure. I’ve said it in past surveys, but my org hosts journalism workshops to interested schools, whether they’re in elementary, high school, or college. At the end of the day they have to come up with their own articles, and then we check each of them, correct the mistakes, grade them, and give it back to them with our comments. What was your favorite year of school up to this point? Third year of high school. I don’t really have a favorite year of college... I had lows in each of them. What's the latest you've ever woken up? 11 AM. Can you recite the alphabet backwards? For a time I did cos Angela taught me. Then I just never sang it again so I ended up forgetting. If you could master one language in thirty minutes, what would it be? Korean. Are you a sucker for foreign accents? No. Sometimes I find it hard to understand. Where were you born? Is it the same place you live currently? I was born somewhere in Manila, and I live faaar away from there now. How often do you remember your dreams? What did you last dream about? Only if I note them down on my phone. The last dream I remember having was too lengthy for me to want to type it all down, but it involved me and Gabie being exes, and she had her own kid hahaha. When did you learn the ninja turtles were named after Renaissance artists? Pretty early, I guess. I’ve never seen the show though. Do you do yoga? Nope.

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Who was the last person you had an intelligent debate with?: I don’t really have debates with anyone other than Gab or Angela. I’ll have deep discussions with my other friends, but they never turn into a debate.

Who was the last person who cooked something for you?:  My dad. Technically he just reheated stuff tonight, but he was still also the one who cooked for us this morning for breakfast.

Who was the last person who you heard singing?:  My mom. She does karaoke by herself one or two times a week for funsies and will sing songs from her day for an hour or so, and she did it tonight.

Who was the last person you kissed and it meant something?: Gabie, but it’s been a whilllllle. 

Who was the last person you were upset with?:  This girl that I’m classmates with for a layout class, Mikee. Horrible work ethic. So just for context, I currently have a grade of INC (Incomplete) for the layout class I took last semester because my prof wasn’t satisfied with our final output, which are a class magazine and a class newspaper; and when you have an INC, you typically have a year to fulfill the missing requirement/s (except in our case, we only have half a year because we have graduating students in the class, including me). Now that we’re inching closer to graduation and the college is supposed to release the official list of graduating students soon, I have to make sure ALL my grades are in. Mikee volunteered to be the one to contact our prof for submitting our work, and even though we’ve finished up and polished our revised outputs, she is taking FOREVER to email the prof for whatever fucking reason. I’m getting antsy by the hour and am desperate for a bit of urgency on her end because if my name doesn’t end up on the list of graduates I definitely wouldn’t hesitate to lash out on her.

Who was the last person you danced with?: Angela, Gabie, and Hans. And some other ADMU dudes I’ve never hung out with other than at that party.

Who was the last person you felt awkward around?: My dad. He made pancakes from scratch earlier and I think his measurements weren’t 100% spot on, because they came out incredibly dense and bland. I was already cranky enough this morning – and I still hadn’t known he made them himself – so I scowled when I took my first few bites because I thought it tasted off and even asked if it was some kind of vegetarian pancake. Once he said he made it from scratch, I felt awkward, shut up, and wolfed my plate down to show him that I enjoyed it and to make up for my horrid behavior just seconds before.

Who was the last person who borrowed something from you?: My mom borrowed my car (which is technically my parents’ anyway because they bought it lmao) to go to work today.

Who was the last person who showed you how to do something?: My dad. I wanted to get reacquainted with making stuff in the kitchen so he showed me how to cook hotdogs properly. I was already making them before, but after one time that one of our stove burners emitted a huge flame when I turned it on, I stopped making any food altogether for a while.

Who was the last person you went shopping with?: My mom.

Who was the last person you had a crush on?: Song Joong Ki hahaaaaaaah.

Who was the last person who made you cry?: The amazing actor from Descendants of the Sun playing the troubled rookie doctor. I looked him up and apparently he’s also one of the lead vocalists of SHINee, so he must be talented as all hell.

Who was the last person you shared a bed with?: Kimi, 45 seconds before he jumped off.

Who was the last person you got drunk with?: Angela, Hans, Gabie, Aids...I don’t remember the others anymore but they were cool and funny people. Idk, we were a big group so yeah.

Who was the last person who touched your hair?: Just me.

What was the last pair of shoes you wore?: A pair of Nikes to walk my dog.

What was the last birthday party you attended?: My cousin’s, aunt’s, and grandma’s. Their birthdays all fall on the same week in December, so it’s tradition for us to go over to my aunt’s to celebrate.

What was the last thing you said to your mother?: Something about thesis. I was telling her that I included her and dad and my four grandparents in my acknowledgments.

What was the last song you listened to?: I was listening to Beyoncé’s Homecoming a few hours ago but I’m too lazy to check what song was it I paused.

What was the last thing you thought about before going to sleep last night?: I wasn’t thinking of anything, I was just focused on falling asleep.

What was the last fun thing you did with your family?: Video-calling other relatives.

What was the last thing you borrowed from someone?: My dad’s earphones...and I’ve kept them for the meantime too lol thanks dad.

What was the last vegetable you ate?: String beans.

What was the last thing you bought online?: A Hydro Flask and several necklaces.

What was the last thing you had to drink?: I don’t *have* to drink it but I did make myself a cup of coffee tonight.

What was the last reason you went to see a doctor?: Had to get my eye checked. Sucks that I couldn’t and can’t have a follow-up appointment especially since my left eye still acts up from time to time.

What was the last non-food item you purchased?: Soju lmaaaaaooo.

What was the last type of yogurt you ate?: I hate yogurt.

What was the last fast food place you ate at?: Jollibee. We didn’t eat inside though, we just got the food delivered to our home. I think the last fast food place I was actually inside of was McDonald’s.

What was the last thing that bothered you and kept you awake?: I haven’t been bothered by anything in a while. Caffeine is the only thing keeping me up these days.

When was the last time you embarrassed yourself? I had sort of a Eureka moment earlier tonight when I suddenly recalled my paternal grandparents’ whole names. I had opted to use their nicknames in my acknowledgments and didn’t think anything of it, but then I remembered what their actual full first names were and then felt embarrassed within myself that I submitted a final draft with their nicknames. HAHAHA it’s a good things are less chill with the lockdown in place so I was able to explain and resubmit with the necessary revisions.

When was the last time you watched a movie with someone?: January-ish. I watched Hello Love Goodbye with Gabie.

When was the last time you charged your phone?: A few hours ago.

When was the last time you were sick with a cold?: It’s been...a while. I rarely get sick with anything so I don’t get to keep track of whenever I do.

When was the last time you spoke to a family member on the phone?: My birthday when my lola called.

When was the last time it rained where you live?: A couple of days ago, I think.

When was the last time you laid awake, unable to sleep?: This afternoon. I wanted to sleep the heat off, but it was just so uncomfortable I just ended up twisting and turning and sweating more. MAAAAAAN I can’t wait for June.

When was the last time you met someone new?: A week or so ago when I went on a following spree on this blog and started talking to a couple of them. Lol following spree in the survey community means following 3 or 4 blogs, but still.

When was the last time you filled up your car with petrol/gas?:  Gotta be the first week of March as that was the last time I was able to drive a lot.

When was the last time you ate popcorn?: Some months ago, I’m guessing? There was a brief time that my mom bought popcorn kernels to make bowls of popcorn for us, but we got tired of it pretty easily so there was no reason for her to keep buying more packs.

When was the last time you went to a school event?  I went to the Lantern Parade last December, as is tradition for my school’s community. I was mostly alone because my friends had to leave early and Gabie was stuck in traffic all evening and didn’t arrive til like, 9:30 PM, which sounds sad for me lol but it was still a fun experience.

When was the last time you took the trash out?: My parents don’t give me that task.

When was the last time you did anything to change your appearance?: Fucking March, a week before the lockdown. Okodlkjfffjsj don’t remind me I’m still pressed about it. No one got to see my short hair and bangs grrrrrrrr

When was the last time you cooked at home?: A week ago. I reconciled with the kitchen and cooked a couple of hotdogs hahaha. They’re frozen and literally a child could make them, but egh, I wanna have my moment too.

When was the last time you had a sleepover?: Honestly can’t remember. Start of the year maybe?

Where did you last go shopping for clothing?: Feliz. It’s my favorite place to find new clothes so yeah, you’ll always be hearing about Feliz. Where did you last go on a date to?: A study date at Coffee Bean & Tea Leaf and dinner at Yabu afterwards.

Where was the last wedding you went to?: 2007, my uncle and aunt’s. I had plans to go to my cousin Joelle’s wedding in Texas this year, but I think they postponed it which highkey ended up working well for them because it wouldn’t have happened under current circumstances anyway.

Where did you last park your car, other than home?: Gabie’s place.

Where did you last leave your keys?: On top of the dining room TV.

Where did your last kiss take place? By Gabie’s front door, I think.

Where did you last go for a walk to?: In front of the house and just a little farther, with my dog. He’s getting older so he gets tired easily and can’t go on the same walks we used to have, but I still make sure he gets his exercise.

Where did you last take a vacation to?: We had a weekend trip to Tagaytay and Cavite but honestly it felt like a quick getaway more than anything else. The last trip that felt like a vacation was when we went to Bicol.

Where did you last go to celebrate your own birthday?: I celebrated it at home.

Where was the last place you had dinner at?: Just at home, again.

Where did you last go to exercise?: I don’t exercise. < Ha, samesies.

Where did you last take public transport to?: Jum and I were going to the Senate building for a journalism class. That was the first and last time I took legit public transport.

Where does the last person you hung out with live?: Upper part of the city.

Where did you last visit for the first time?: Uhhhh I think it was the salon I went to to get my hair done.

Where did you last take a photo?: On the floor of the dining area, to take selfies with my dog.

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How old were you when you had your first crush? The first crush I had that wasn’t a celebrity or a teacher was when I was 12. If you're a girl, how old were you when you started your period? It was a month after I turned 10. By that time I was just entering Grade 4 and when we were asked who had already gotten theirs, only a handful of hands shot up haha. I was an early bird for sure. What is your worst period story? Pretty obvious TMI warning here. Happened last December. I was visiting a photo studio to test if they were going to be suitable for my college batch’s grad shoot and unfortunately my period started in the middle of the trip. Even more unfortunately the trip was all the way in fucking BINANGONAN, which meant I couldn’t have access to napkins for the entire drive. I had to cross my legs real tight to avoid any leakage but at the time we got to the studio, my crotch area was soaked nonetheless. I had to ask for napkins from the studio staff, but thank god they were the nicest people ever and didn’t hesitate to hand me one. Does anyone else know who your first crush was besides you? Gabie knows. I think she’s the only one who knows, but I also think Pia asked me at one point too, so maybe her as well. What was your most embarrassing moment? I have at least one everyday.

What are your worst cramps like? Leg cramps that wake me up at 4 AM, without a doubt. Those always end me in tears no matter how old I am. What is the most physically painful thing you have ever experienced? Either my foot infection back in ‘09 or the toothache I had a few months back. I had no idea a TOOTH could send me crying almost every night or wake me up in the middle of the night just from being so painful. Oh and the time I ripped my ear piercing off. What are you allergic to? I’m not allergic to anything... at least I haven’t encountered anything I turned out to be allergic to. Have you ever wanted to be someone else? I’ve never seriously wanted to be a particular person, but I’ve found myself fantasizing about if I were richer. Have you ever been jealous of someone? Sure. Have you ever been jealous of a friend? Yeah. Just mostly high school stuff though, like the time Erk kept getting Gabie away from me and I got super fed up about it at one point that I stopped talking to Gab for like a month lmao. Do you feel shy around someone when you are first getting to know them? Yeah of course. Aren’t most of us? Do you feel shy around a crush? I get both shy and distant. What color hair did your first crush have? Black. Do you ever cry in public unwillingly, or are you able to hold it in? I’m able to hold it in because I hate making a scene. I just keep swallowing the lump in my throat and try to blink less. Do you throw up involuntarily when you have to, or can you swallow it down? I also can swallow it down as long as I have to. But if I really need to throw up I run to the nearest toilet. What's one near-embarrassing moment you had? Uhh idk. If I can tell something is going to be embarrassing I usually already feel pretty embarrassed about it, regardless if I’m saved from the embarrassment or not. Do you ever call yourself stupid? Yeah. Just yesterday BoJack Horseman’s “You’re a stupid piece of shit" kept replaying in my head all afternoon and evening. What was the name of your first imaginary friend? Katrina. She was my first and last. What's one weird habit you have? When I get my usual drink at Starbucks, my first sip has to be a long one and I usually savor it by closing my eyes and letting out a contented sigh haha. Only then can I start working.  Are you more of an open or a private person? I’m a bit of both, if that makes sense? I keep my shit private when they aren’t being raised, but when someone asks me about them I have no problem being an open book. Do you wish you could be more open with others? No, I already am. Do you feel ashamed? Not permanently lmao, but I feel it every now and then. Do you get embarrassed easily? Yes. Do you have regrets? Some. Have you ever fallen asleep in class? Never. I feel like – aside from being disrespectful – it’s an embarrassing thing to happen, especially if you’re caught and get scolded for it, so I make it a point not to let it happen to me. What was the hardest thing you've ever had to forgive? [Big trigger warning: Domestic violence] The day my grandpa said sorry to each of us in the family for beating up my baby cousin in a drunken stupor. After that he left the house for the week, presumably out of shame, then he came back to ask for forgiveness from each of us. I was desensitized to all of the violence I’ve seen at that point, so my 9 year old self gave him a shrug. Is there anyone you hate? No, not hate. Is there anything or anyone you're angry at, that you haven't forgiven yet? I don’t plan on forgiving my deadbeat uncle or my brother anytime soon. List five of your biggest bullies. A lot of people bullied me for my name and looks when I was younger, but they’re all irrelevant in my life now and I’ve forgotten all of them save for two – Kaira (who’s my friend now) and Sophia (who I don’t like just as much as when I was 4). Have you ever plotted revenge against someone? I’ve fantasized about revenge but never plotted anything. Have you ever done anything to get revenge against someone? Nope. ^If so, do you regret it, and did you apologize later? Have you ever had a friend crush (i.e., you really wanted to be their friend)? Yeah I remember being like this with Macy. She’s changed quite a bit these days and we don’t talk anymore, which I find sad considering what we’ve gone through in the last couple of years. What is the greatest longing of your heart? Money. The rest of my desires - happiness, contentment, the material things I want - comes after I have money lol. Who was your first love? Gabie. What was the last thing someone said that warmed your heart? Chesca said something very sweet to me and it was something I needed to hear, but explaining it would need too much background context so suffice it to say, she reassured me when I needed it most. Do you pray regularly? Nope. ^If so, to whom? Do you love Jesus? What church do you go to? I’m not religious but my mom is, and she drags the entire family to church every Sunday. That said we go to a specific parish within our area, because that’s what we’re a part of. What denomination is your church (if you go)? Catholic. What was the first year you voted in a presidential election? 2016. How old were you when the year changed to 2000? At exactly January 1? I was a year old, but I was turning 2 that year. Have you ever been afraid of the world ending? Not really, but it certainly has felt like the end of the world these days. This is the kind of shit you only ever get to read about in textbooks, so it’s feeling a little surreal. Do you enjoy public speaking? If I’m prepared for it and/or I enjoy what it is I have to talk about. What food makes you gag? Pineapple, raisins, or ice cream with nuts. Who was your first celebrity crush? Ashley Tisdale when she was Maddie in Suite Life of Zack & Cody. I also lowkey liked the mom, hahaha. What show did you want to be on when you were younger? Hi-5 when I was extremely younger; the kiddie crowds looked so lit 😩 Hahaha but when I got a bit older, I wanted to be in Legends of the Hidden Temple or be one of the people splashed with slime at the Nickelodeon Kids’ Choice Awards. Looking at my answer I could now tell I was definitely a Nickelodeon kid. What was your childhood dream? To be an astronaut, to be a wrestler, and to have a big house with a swimming pool. Did you ever fulfill your childhood dream? I have 0/3 achieved, but it’s okay. My wants have mostly changed. What is your dream now? I still want a big house with a pool for sure lmao, but I mostly just dream of having enough money all my life and never having to worry about finances or having to ask people. What is your passion? History has always been my biggest one. Are you living your dream? Not yet. Do you receive insults or compliments more? Compliments, but that’s because I don’t let myself thrive in an environment where I’d get insults more because yanno, self-care? Lol. What is unfair about your life? Bad past presidents and how it’s led our country to be in the miserable state it’s in today, whereas I have to see other countries flourish in their unbelievably competent governments and see how these countries have public parks, libraries, playgrounds, etc. I don’t know what I did in my past life to have to end up in the Philippines hahahahaha, but here we are today. What about your life would you change? I wish my dog can stay with me forever. Did you write love poems when you were younger? Nope. Who are you jealous of and why? I’m not really feeling jealousy at the moment. When someone hurts you, do you start to feel jealous of them? No? Why would that happen? Name five people you know who have everything handed to them. Idkkkkk. I don’t wanna namedrop anyone for something like this lol. Name one person you know who is spoiled rotten. Boomers? Name one person you know who seems stuck-up. I know someone but I’m not naming him on here lmao. Name a church that just wants money. All of them? LOL at least all the Catholic ones, I can’t speak for the other denominations. What is your least favorite chore? I really hate folding clothes. Have you ever had an account of yours hacked? Yeah but like by a virus or something, not a person. Have you ever been a victim of police misconduct? Nah. But traffic enforcers have been incredibly rude to me before. Do you keep a diary? This one. What color is the diary you are currently using? It doesn’t really come with a color... Do you actually write "Dear Diary"? Only in the diaries I kept as a kid, because it’s what I saw in cartoons. When was the last time you wrote and sent someone a letter? December. I included a handwritten letter in my Christmas gifts for Gab. Do you write in cursive or print more? Print. Have you ever self-harmed? Duh.