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starrynite7114 · 6 years ago

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snapshots: insecurities

A/N: Another update! I’ve been on a roll and I just want to get some writing done before the semester becomes full blown busy! But, this part has a bit of smut. It’s my first time actually posting some explicit content, so I hope it’s good!

Thank you again for all the love you’ve given snapshots. I absolutely love writing for it and I’m glad you’re all enjoying with me!

Also! If you would like to be tagged for this story or any of my other ones, just send me a message! :D

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You walked in Angel’s apartment, sighing at the difficult day you had at work. All you wanted to do was rest after your shift, but it was Friday night and you made a deal with Angel that every weekend you came back to Santo Padre. During the weekdays, he came to your place as often as he could.

Ares padded along behind you as you held the door open so he could walk in. Ares was 4 months old now and he was the sweetest dog. Had a bit of an attitude at times, but he was so sweet. You definitely appreciated Angel’s idea of Ares keeping you company while he wasn’t there. He was such a great cuddle buddy. Once the door was closed, you unclipped his leash and let him run loose. You were certain Angel wasn’t back yet since his motorcycle was nowhere in sight.

Walking over to his room, you placed your bags down before flopping down on the bed with your legs hanging from the edge. You felt Ares move around your legs. You smiled and picked up the puppy, placing him on the bed with you. Laying down once more, Ares placed a few puppy kisses on your face before he settled beside your left hand.

Everything was going so well between you and Angel, it kind of made you anxious. You’ve been in relationships before and the honeymoon stage usually lasted 6 months then after that, it was like war. Though, you didn’t expect you and Angel to immediately dislike one another, but you were just waiting for someone to pull the rug under your feet. It was a terrible expectation, but you’ve waited for this for such a long time. Sometimes, it was too good to be true.

“Ares, do you think Angel will ever wake up and realize that he doesn’t actually want to be with me?”

“I don’t know if I should be concerned with the way you think or angry that you would come up with such a stupid idea.”

You sat up and found Angel leaning against the doorframe. Giving him a sheepish smile, Ares crawled to your lap and laid down.

“I didn’t see your bike,”

“I’m getting it fixed, I drove EZ’s car here.” He remained by the door, arms crossed over his chest. “So why would you think of something like that?”

You didn’t expect for Angel to hear that. You couldn’t help but feel insecure due to how long it’s been. For some reason, you just couldn’t fathom the idea that Angel really has had feelings for you. He’s felt so deeply for other people so why would he all of a sudden decide it’s been you all along?

“I don’t know. Just forget I said it.” You took Ares in your arms and went under the covers, cuddling the dog to your chest.

“Hey, you don’t get to do that. We’ve always been able to talk about through our problems, don’t close me off now.” Angel pulled the covers, startling Ares.

You kept your back towards him, pulling Ares closer to you.

“Y/n, come on,” you felt the bed dip and know he was crawling towards you. “Let the dog go and talk to me.”

Angel hated it when you closed him off. You didn’t give him the silent treatment, which was good, but to him, this was much worst. You wouldn’t talk to him about what was going on and just diverted the situation.

“Baby, come on,” he took Ares from your arms and placed him on the floor. Ares raised on his hind legs, crying to you. You tried to take him in your arms but Angel turned you towards him. “What’s going on in that head of yours?”

“I just want to hold Ares, I had a long day and that’s all I want to do.” It was the partial truth. The last thing you wanted to discuss were your insecurities.

Angel frowned. “I can hold you, are you okay?” He decided to let what he heard earlier go for now. He knew you’ve been having a hard time at work and every time he came to see you, you were always so exhausted. The promotion hanging over your head was definitely pushing you to the edge. As much as he wanted to advise you to calm down, it was the last thing you needed.

“Yes, I’m fine, just want to hold Ares.”

“Why the fuck do you want to hold the dog when I’m right here?”

“Cause I don’t need you right now.”

“Fine,” your words stung Angel and he walked out of the room and out of the apartment, slamming the door behind him.

This was your first argument as a couple and you felt like an idiot for being so hardheaded.

“Fuck,” you laid on your back after you picked up Ares. Using your foot, you pulled the covers near your hand and pulled it over you. Turning on your side again, you had Ares laying right under your chin, burying your nose on his head. “I’m an idiot.”

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Angel pulled up to the clubhouse turning off the car. He slipped out and nodded his head at Creeper and Riz who were around the bonfire.

“What you doing here lover boy?” Coco questioned.

“Yeah, I thought weekend nights you go home to your girl unless she comes here to have a drink with us.” Gilly added.

“She’s being ridiculous.” Angel shook his head. He walked over to the picnic table, sitting atop the table. Taking out the cigarette in his shirt pocket, he placed it in his mouth and lit it up.

“Ooh, is this the first fight?” Gilly teased, playfully bumping his shoulder. “What happened?”

“She didn’t want to let the fucking dog go and wanted to hug it instead of me. She’s having a bad day and she rather have the dog to hug?” Angel scoffed. “To top it off, she didn’t think I was there so she was asking the dog when I would wake up and realize that I don’t want her?”

Gilly and Coco looked at one another and knew that the fun and games were out the window. Gilly sat beside Angel’s legs while Coco stood in front of him.

“You know, you can’t blame her.” Coco shrugged when Angel looked up at him. “Angel, you’ve had serious relationships while she stood in the shadows and not that long ago, your dick was pining for Adelita.” Coco said the last part in hush tones, never too careful when it came to their prior connection to her.

“So? I’ve always made her feel like a Queen, I always chose her over all those girls.” Angel wasn’t getting the point to this conversation. He always cherished you, regardless of how serious his relationships were. He always had high hopes that in the end, it would be you two. Maybe at times he put his girlfriend first, but you’ve done the same when you were dating people.

“Angel, you’re not getting it.” Gilly shook his head. “Whenever she dated guys, they never lasted long cause you always drove them away. Once you fucking pouted, she got rid of the guy.” Coco and Gilly both chuckled remembering how petty Angel could be when it came to you. “You were always her priority, but when you were in a relationship, she let the girl take the shine since she never thought you had feelings for her.”

“She was always okay with you not choosing her in the end cause to her, your happiness is what matters most.” Coco added. “So now, it doesn’t make sense for her that all of a sudden, you decided that she’s the one you want to be with. To her, much like how you feel about EZ, she was the second choice. I mean, carnal, you were telling her that if you two weren’t married by the time you’re in your 30’s then you two would get married.” Coco laughed. “What kind of shit is that? Maybe it was sweet for you, but for her, I’m sure she felt like since you been around the block and didn’t feel anyone, you settled for her.”

Angel absolutely hated how much Coco was making sense. As much as Coco had his ups and downs with women in his life, he seemed to understand them better than anyone, especially with Leticia coming into his life. He never thought that you felt as if he was settling for you. If anything, he thought that it made it clear that he was willing to wait for you once the 20’s passed so you both know that you wanted one another. Angel didn’t want to be second best, he’s been that all of his life.

“This is fucking great,” Angel lit his second cigarette stick. “I never thought she would think that.”

“That’s the problem, you don’t think at times.” Gilly teased, tapping Angel’s calf with his forearm. “Adelita was always such a subject for her. You should have seen Y/N’s face every time you mentioned her.” He remembered watching you listen to Angel gush about Adelita, smiling at his words, but the smile never reached your eyes.

“Was I that much of a douche?”

“I think that’s when she realized that if it didn’t work out with Adelita, you would have settled for her.” Coco had watched the dance between you two since him and Angel were roommates. At first, you were weary with him, not knowing what to think, and he was the same with you. But you two became friends and once you did, that’s when Coco noticed just what you felt for Angel. He remembered how you two would get a drink and you would just talk about Angel. Coco would gladly hear you out, offering a word of advice from time to time.

“Well I feel like a fucking dick.” Angel threw his cigarette butt on the ground. “How can she even think that? She’s my fucking world.”

“Yes, well, you know women, they’re complicated as fuck.” Gilly chuckled. “Why don’t you go home and make up with her?”

“I don’t think she wants me around right now.”

“Or you don’t want to be around cause that means you’re gonna have to talk about your issues.” Coco sat besides Gilly. “She’s still your best friend man, what did you do to get in her good side?”

“You know what I do, I buy her favorite ice cream and watch whatever cheesy ass romantic comedy she wants to watch.” Angel stood up, he knew he should go home. You two barely had time together, but he just needed to cool off.

“Then do that, I know you always have that shit stocked in your freezer. Go grovel or some shit.”

“Don’t let her go to sleep upset, it never solves anything.” Gilly advised.

Angel couldn’t believe he was taking advice from these two assholes, but he knew they were right. He had to go home and talk to you, he just hoped you weren’t asleep yet.

When he arrived home, he opened the door quietly just in case you were asleep. He was greeted at the door by Ares, the puppy smelling him before walking away and back to the room. He’s not upset that Ares was more loyal to you, but he took care of him while they were both waiting for you.

“Ungrateful little shit,” he mumbled.

Toeing off his shoes, he placed it beside your own. He walked into his room, really both of your room now.

You were currently watching the Punisher, unable to sleep after Angel left. When you saw him walk in, you were surprised. You expected him to sleep at his pops or the clubhouse. As much as you felt like a dick, you didn’t make any attempt to message Angel.

“Hey baby,” he greeted you as he took his kutte off, placing it on the chair.

“Hey,” you paused the episode. “I didn’t think you would come home tonight.”

“Couldn’t let you stay here by yourself.” He removed his pants, slipping under the covers next to you.

Ares laid between you two.

“You know you’re my priority right?” Angel didn’t want to beat around the bush. If he had to hold you down and shove the idea in your head, he would.

“Angel, please, I didn’t mean what I said. I’m just tired.” You we’re trying to find a way out and you hoped Angel took the bait. You weren’t in the right mindset to talk about this.

“But you did mean it, you don’t ask a fucking dog questions like that if you didn’t mean it.” Angel snapped.

“Angel, I don’t want to talk about it.”

“Well tough shit, I do,” Angel wasn’t going to let you leave with these kind of thoughts in your head. He knew you, you were going to overthink everything and he might as well call it a day if he let you keep such ridiculous thoughts in your head. “How can you think I would leave you? Do you honestly think it’s easy for me to tell you I love you? I kept that with me for years as I watched you date other people, knowing that there was a possibility that this guy would be the one to sweep you off your feet.”

“No, I just,” you looked over at him. “I was always your second choice and I just want to make sure you’re sure before we continue. If we stop this now, we can still salvage our friendship and not hate each other.” Really, it was more so that you can move on and still face him.

“See, how can you even say shit like that to me? I told you, it’s you and me. It’s always been that way. You were never the second choice querida. You’ve always been my choice, but I thought that letting you live out your 20’s, it would be a sign if you were still single by the time we were in our 30’s.”

“A sign for what?”

“That I deserve you.”

You knew Angel had his insecurities, especially coming second best to EZ, but you never thought it bled into your relationship. No matter what, you always put Angel first and you thought by now, he would know that.

“You’re my priority.”

“Then you should believe me when I say you’re mine.” Angel moved Ares to the foot of the bed and took your hand. He pulled you towards him and you sat on his lap, straddling him. With your hand still in his, he placed it over your heart. “This has been yours since I can remember. Please trust me.” He kissed your lips. “Don’t ever think you’re my second choice, you’re not. All those women don’t mean anything to me as much as you do.”

He saw the hesitance in your eyes and your attempt to take your hand back from his. He softly tightened his hand around yours.

“Why do you doubt me so much? Have I given you a reason to doubt me?” Angel was confused. No more than a few days ago, you two were fucking all over your apartment, with absolutely no worry. Now, it was like he fucking wronged you. “I’m honestly offended that you would even think I’m settling for you.”

“Settling?” You gave him a confused look.

“I talked to Coco and Gilly.”

You groaned. “Angel, let’s just go to sleep.”

“Y/N, please, I don’t want you to go to bed upset at me.”

“I’m not upset at you, I’m upset at myself. You don’t get it. You think girls like me don’t choose guys like you? Well that’s how I feel. You’ve been with all these women then all of a sudden you want to be with me? If you’re just pretending or trying for the sake of saving our friendship, please don’t do that, it’s just going to hurt me more.”

“And you don’t think this hurts me?” He cupped your face with his hands, bringing your head forward so your foreheads were touching. “I will spend the rest of my life proving to you that I love you. You can’t get rid of me. What we have, this isn’t pretend. You’re the person I want to spend the rest of my life with. Get that idea out of your head.”

You closed your eyes, not wanting the tears to come out of them, but it was hard for you to control your tears. Angel felt them first, a sigh escaping his lips. “Don’t cry baby,”

“I’m sorry, I’m ruining this for us.” You moved away from him, but still remained on his lap. “I saw her the other day, Adelita, she was leaving the clubhouse.”

Angel cussed under his breath, not even clicking that you did see Adelita the other day.

“She’s beautiful,”

“Don’t do that, don’t compare yourself to her. There’s no comparison.” He cupped your face again and left kisses all over your face. Ares crawled in between you two, causing you two to laugh.

You picked up Ares, hugging the puppy to your chest. “You know, our kids are going to love you so much, I would basically just be an accessory.”

“What?” Angel always talked about you two having kids, but you never took him seriously. With his lifestyle, where did kids fit in that equation?

“One day, I want us to have kids, who have the same smile as yours that brightens up the room.” You smiled at his words. “There’s that smile,” Angel placed his hands on your hips, his thumbs rubbing circles on the skin underneath your shirt. “I can’t promise you that I won’t hurt you, but if there’s one thing I can guarantee I will never leave you, only way is through a box.”

“Stop that.” You pushed at his chest.

“Then you stop it,” he countered. “I know this won’t be the last time we’ll have this conversation, insecurities are hard to get rid of, but we’ll work on it together.”

Placing Ares on the bed, you scooted closer to Angel, pulling his face towards yours so your lips could meet. He wrapped his arms around you, pulling you closer to him. You could already feel him becoming hard underneath you. He thrusted up, his hard on meeting your core, a moan escaping your lips. You felt his hand made its way down your stomach and into your shorts. You pulled away to catch your breath as you watched Angel’s hand inside your shorts.

“You’re the only person who can make me this fucking hard so quickly.” He whispered into your ear. He grabbed your panties and pulled it up, causing you to moan and rub against the material.

Ares jumped off the bed, not liking all the movement. You hear him jiggle away due to his tags as Angel’s fingers were playing with your folds.

Biting your lip, your lips met Angel’s again as one of his fingers slipped inside your hole. You began to move along with his finger, riding it. Angel added another finger and watched as you pulled away and grabbed his shirt.

“Fuck baby, you look beautiful.” He watched you eagerly as you got off on his finger.

“Angel,” you breathed out before your lips met once again.

His fingers sped up just as your hips did. Angel pulled away, wanting to watch you come undone. “That’s right baby, get off on my fingers. I can feel you tightening up.” He rubbed his thumb against your clit, a loud moan escaping your lips. “Are you close?”

You nodded your head as he sped up his thumb. “Fuck!” You screamed out as your orgasm ripped through your body. Angel kept up with his ministrations letting you come back down.

Before he could even take off your clothes, you both heard Ares’ cries for help so that he can get back up on the bed.

“I’m kicking him out, it’s me time now.” Angel removed his fingers from inside of you and stood up, you could clear see the tent in his boxer briefs. “It’s my time to play with mommy,” he ushered the dog outside.

Once Angel closed the door, he turned back to you, a predatory gaze in his eyes and that smirk on his lips.

“You’re in for a long night.”

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