#thank you for playing with me when ewere kids and i don’t think i’ll ever forgive you for the time you hit me and said i wasn’t your siblin

[the-woild-is-y-erster]

being siblings is like (i never knew you.) (you were the first person after our parents to hold me when i was born. you were four and i think you told mom i was ugly.) (we stopped playing toys when i was six and i didn’t understand that you thought you were too old. you were ten.) (i always wanted to be player one.) (you always let me have the good powerups in mario and beat the levels i couldn’t.) (we have both been so wrapped up in our own heads for years we don’t realize the other is hurting so bad.) (you told me once to hold ice instead of cutting myself.) (i almost slit my wrists the night before because i thought you hated me.) (you heard me crying three weeks ago and didn’t ask if i wanted to talk about it, just made me take a shower and eat something.) (i can’t remember the last time we hugged.) (have we ever?) (we grew up as girls together until we grew up as brothers.) (i wanted to be just like you because you were the coolest person i had ever met.) (you hated when i copied you.) (i don’t remember a time i haven’t been jealous of you.) (i don’t think you’ve ever said you’re proud of me.) (i always go into your room to bug you [check on you] and i feel like it annoys you every time.) (i always feel awful when i hyperfixate on the same thing as you, it feels like stealing.) (neither of us has talked to our childhood friends in years.) (were you and i ever friends?) (you were better at me in everything but piano, and i’ve felt like shit about it for years.) (i’ve almost killed myself more times than i can count and then you ask if i want to go to the gas station with you and everything is okay for about an hour.) (you remind me too much of dad.) (i always thought you were the favorite child. i realize now mom and dad hate us both, but they despise you.) (you said once i could move into your apartment you were gonna get with one of your exes. you broke up the next week and i don’t think you could ever stand living with me alone.) (we have the same mannerisms and the same voice.) (you hate your voice. do you hate mine?) (we went pumpkin picking when i was eight and you let me have the biggest one even though i know you wanted it.) (you used to say you hated me and meant it.) (i was four when i almost broke my arm falling off our swingset.) (you rushed over and started crying over me and gave me your stuffed animal for the day because it always made you feel better.) (i always feel awkward at your birthday parties because we aren’t friends.) (i have invited our mutual friend to mine even though she’s been your friend more for years, just so you have someone to talk to.) (i’m sorry for everything i ever said to hurt you.) (i don’t remember the last time you apologized to me.) and then you watch eachother grow up