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[inchidentally]

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He looks at him like thinking "I don't know if I want him to be more successful than me or not." and I think he really doesn't know what to feel about him. Sometimes he seems like he cares too much about not having a p1 and sometimes he seems like he doesn't care at all. I think he can't hide his pain sometimes :(

🕯️ Work harder with him boy and keep your head empty and you'll get your win together please 🕯️

ohhh that cuts right to the quick babe

bc that's at the root of what another anon had said about Lando wanting to be for Oscar what he always needed from a more experienced teammate.

absolute mondo amounts of text below lol

with Carlos there was just never a question of Lando trying to puff up and challenge him and he's said that his rookie season was the hardest on him psychologically. he said that he spent it questioning if he really did have what it took and that constantly seeing Carlos confidently talking to the engineers and asking for things and settling into the car so well was very hard. we have to remember that rookie seasons in F1 aren't like other sports - these guys spend that first season wondering if each race is going to be their last (the whole Nyck de Vries situation). and because Lando compensated for what was going on behind the scenes by latching onto carlando - a big, fun and loud bromance - it was an even bigger thud when Carlos left. but !! Lando decided that if McLaren wouldn't let him sink then he would damn well swim. then of course with Daniel there was the shift in dynamic where Lando truly started to become the McLaren brand and it's great hope. but he was also having to deal with at least a little emotional whiplash of Daniel seeming like he'd be another carlando bromance, and also Daniel's not at all concealed disappointment (I'll leave it at that bc I'm not much of a fan lol).

so that "caring too much and not caring at all" back and forth that you said is absolutely something that plays a role in the stuff Lando is so candid about struggling with. he was so ready to finally be Normal About His Teammate when Oscar arrived all neat and tidy and with no baggage or agenda. and I think a part of Lando has tried to view Oscar as a typical rookie who will either be a bit of a nervous wreck, or be merely passing through McLaren for a couple of seasons - or re-negotiate and be shunted off sooner - or all three.

but then Oscar was the exact opposite of a nervous wreck and he's actually been a source of calm for Lando (as Lando himself said, "much more than my last teammate"). Oscar also worked exceptionally hard to show respect and appreciation to the team on every level. and then he signs on for yet another year before the season is even over!

that just leaves the anxiety of that P1 spot hanging in the air. and again, remembering how different F1 is to other sports and even other racing, these guys are ALL going for that spot with equal ferocity. there's no 'Lando wants it more' - that spot is literally why these drivers got to where they are. I know everyone brings up Kimi but lmaoooo that was his persona - he was there to win. you don't win shit in F1 if you're not wanting it on a cellular level.

so on most conscious levels, Lando is firmly in the "I want to win and I want to beat every other guy including Oscar/especially my teammate" because he couldn't possibly contend if he didn't think that. BUTTT. Lando is a much more complex guy than most F1 drivers and he's got an extremely open heart. so I do think we see him caught up in worrying about how strong Oscar's rookie season was and that sprint win - but this time there's an added feeling of rooting for Oscar the way that Oscar has always rooted for him. unlike Carlos and Daniel, Oscar doesn't have that alpha chest-beating thing that can also translate as sullenness and bitterness when they don't come first - and especially when it's their teammate who performs better than they do. and while it doesn't come from chest-beating, Lando absolutely sinks into sullenness even if it isn't as bitter as haters want to think.

so the fact that Lando now has a teammate who celebrates Lando's successes as much as Lando does for others (see Singapore and having to put up with his P2 spot being attributed solely to Carlos pfff) - to the point of Oscar chasing Lando down in parc ferme or standing totally unseen among the team during the podium celebrations) - is the cause for a lot of that intensity and almost a little bit of phantom pain? that we see sometimes when Lando watches Oscar talk. Lando broadcasts every feeling on his face and he just doesn't yet know what to do !! with Oscar.

it's also why I have my vestal virgins au which yes is in itself very weird, but the part about McLaren having another phenom young drivers without a lick of toxic masculinity as their motivation is honestly as new to fans and F1 overall as it is for Lando. we feel a bit off-kilter bc Lando being the adoring baby to Carlos and the adorable baby to Daniel was so easy bc - as I've also admitted - we all have sometimes reduced Lando to his cuter and funnier side rather than his serious contender side. but Oscar doesn't do that! Oscar finds Lando cute and funny when Lando is being cute and funny, but he also lets Lando determine the tone and if Lando is feeling more serious or frustrated or upset then Oscar quietly follows him there. and in turn, Lando brings up Oscar's hard work and success and says things like "how are you feeling Oscar? Oscar's been under the weather so it's even more impressive how he's done".

and idk I just think of the sprint win when they're posing with their plaques and you can see Lando struggling. but then! Oscar is so quietly happy and proud but he doesn't gloat or showboat at all! he even points out that while a win is always nice it's not the same as a race win. and we knew enough about Oscar's respect and deference that that was at least partly intended for Lando. and then Oscar said the same thing again and again in interviews! and then Lando started bringing it up himself and the hurt wasn't even there anymore - he could even ruefully joke about Oscar being the only one with a win!

so I feel like the conflict we see in Lando's eyes sometimes when he looks at Oscar is his tender heart seeing qualities in Oscar that he hasn't seen before in other F1 drivers, let alone teammates - mixed with his own specific pain at not having a win yet and how intangible it sometimes still feels.

in totally my own stupid probably weird perception - and this is probably a huge leap - the little tinge of bittersweetness to Lando and Oscar is that Oscar could truly end up meaning so much to Lando and it's a little overwhelming??

especially because Oscar is so opaque and quiet and withdrawn normally with everyone, even when it's talking about his parents or even Lily - yet he makes these serious and concerted efforts to show how much he respects and considers Lando in how he behaves and what he says. there's nothing remotely casual or lazy, even when/especially when he refuses to give journalists anything personal about his working relationship with Lando.

and Lando could probably safely assume that Carlos would behave just like Daniel - or how any other F1 driver would - if Lando was absolutely outstripping him. not just because of the difference in age (which is negligible now) but because that's honestly Lando's own first response to watching your teammate succeed while you struggle. but that little window where Oscar was keeping pace with - and occasionally exceeding - Lando's performance and even then, Oscar's ego never showed up in the form of crowing or forgetting about Lando beside him was like this agonizing sweetness on top of him never once being bitter about Lando's success.

and unlike Carlos and Daniel, Oscar knew so much and invested serious time into finding out about Lando (so very much alfgjlasfjl) so he's never been caught out by Lando's moods or needs. Carlos to this day seems kind of baffled and a little frightened by how intensely Lando latches onto him as a security blanket. and Daniel's big, loud smile faltering because Lando looked a little pained at being treated like just another DannyRic bromance. even the difference of Oscar's fond little "you're not very adventurous with food, are you?" versus Carlos' coaxing "Lando you need to mature" and getting him to touch the fish in the box. Oscar won't even jokingly try to get Lando to be someone he isn't because all of those things make up who Lando is to Oscar in the same way they do for us as fans.

I wrote an equally long post about guys like Carlos and Daniel realizing they're holding Lando's heart in their hands and feeling freaked the fuck out like 'aaaahhhh take it back take it back!'. but I realized I had no idea how Oscar would react because I don't know if Oscar's relationship to Lando would ever have him in a position to take it for granted that he holds Lando's heart in his hands. if he didn't want it then he would be terse and dismissive as well as more performatively bromancey with Lando. so it's clearly that Oscar wouldn't presume that he's in the position to have it.

so when Lando looks at Oscar he sees:

someone who he openly says makes him better as a driver

someone who is absolutely capable of getting the win before he does

someone who is considerate and kind and doesn't let bitterness fester

is the perfect complement to Lando's will-o-wisp personality

doesn't thrive off of ego and never drags anything off the track with him

who is intimidating precisely because of his calm centeredness

is so similar to Lando in a lot of ways, and so different to him in even better ways

is low-maintenance and non-demanding as a teammate

but does the fact that he doesn't "need" anything from Lando as a teammate feel nice or does it feel hurtful

is so difficult to read and even harder to get to know on a deeper level

distinctly decided against trying to make their relationship camera-friendly even though we know he absolutely does do that with some drivers (Prema, Alpine)

truly, genuinely likes who Lando is in every way

for some reason doesn't see the need to try and clarify or define that any further

god yeah it's got to be the most baffling feeling when it seems like your new teammate could slot right in with your closest friend group but he's also your biggest competitor besides Max V but he's also helping and supporting you on and off the track and sometimes it feels like he's turning his world around you as his sun but then he has this grown-up life outside of you so where does it all fit and what do you even think about it??